Table Manners with Jessie and Lennie Ware - S2 Ep 8: Felix White

Episode Date: April 4, 2018

Felix White. Some of you know him from The Maccabees, some of you know him from his cricket journalism but I know him as the new boy at school who I forced to go out with me at 9 years old. Since then we’ve shared many experiences; a few teenage snogs, our first TV appearance and even our first mugging. He’s had countless dinners at Mum's over the years and here pops over to mine for one more. Yala!Produced by Alice Williams for Cup and Nuzzle Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hi and welcome back to Table Manners. I am Jessie Ware and this is my mum Lenny. Hi. It's just going to be like that now isn't it? Yeah. That was better though, it was a little bit warmer. For dinner this evening we have one of my oldest friends, a school friend that I met when we were nine years old and we've stayed best friends ever since. You were seven, were we? No, because Felix came late. He was in the infants.

No, he wasn't. He was in top infants. He came in top infants. Oh, we'll ask him in a minute. I remember. Tonight, we have Felix White of the Maccabees on Table Manners. Also, he's famous for cricket. Well yeah this is

his well. Cricket and broadcasting. Yeah. And record label. Yeah. He's an entrepreneur now. He is. Yeah. I have to tell him. I mean it's pretty amazing that Maccabees broke up less than a year ago and he's already kind of got this whole new career ahead of him and it's really I'm very proud of him he's already kind of got this whole new career ahead of him. And it's really, I'm very proud of him. He knows me very, very, very well. Too well, I'm slightly worried what he's about to say on this episode. Him and mum can have a right old laugh and a poke at me. We had a deal when we were, if we weren't married by 30, we would get married.

I don't know if I made the wrong decision. How could you have decided that when you were 10 yeah I think I did yeah I think I've been going out with Sam since you were 18 like so and mum um but yeah Felix White is on tonight's table manners I did a show last night and i'm not gonna lie i'm feeling a little worse for wear but um the deal was that i cooked dinner tonight so i have done the most lazy chicken roast it's the lazy girls one where you do it all in the same tray and it's just really easy and felix is really happy about it yeah i'm also trying this new cauliflower cheese out where you i love cauliflower i'm doing it a bit different it's inspired by the

marksman no okay it's it's inspired by the marksman pub um who i think do an amazing roast in hackney um is that double fried what cauliflower cheese no they do double fried chips yeah no it's not it's not that it's it's a i've never done it before and we're kind of just guessing what's in it but it's a whole cauliflower that you bake and you kind of make it really nice and brown and then it's quite a thin cheese sauce that I'm using. I mean, I'm going for it, Mum. Like, diet's out the window. Cream. Bit of nutmeg.

Don't mind tonight. I know. It's a cold night. And I'm going to... I've already curdled one attempt at it. So I'm going to try and put that on near the end. So it's kind of more in a kind of cream sauce. But with hazelnuts and parmesan. And then we've got some Brussels sprouts with chestnuts.

Wow. I don't know. I just thought, why not? Good. And I've made a crumble. Good. With a muesli topping. Good.

And coconut oil, so it was a bit less naughty. Okay. But then I put butter on the top too, because it looked like it was going to dry out. So that's like a blackberry an apple and a bit of plum because and with my new favorite thing to put in a crumble is mixed spice so easy yeah spices it up well it does but it makes it smell like mulled wine it's just great so that's the meal you could put star anise in i do usually i just couldn't i couldn't be asked to be honest so is this all spice or mixed spice it's mixed spice but you could use all spice okay and i think all spice and mixed

spice are the same thing i don't know i'll have to find out uh but yeah i'm taking liberties because felix has eaten many a cook meal by my mother many a takeaway and he's actually really happy Jessie you've lived with him on and off I've lived with him too I've lived with him at uni and after uni I don't know why because he's quite messy well then you've probably got on very well

but yes here we go Felix White on Table Manners Felix White on Table Manners. Felix White, welcome to Table Manners. Thank you, Jessie. Does this feel weird? No, I thought we were going to do it at your mum's house.

I'm sorry. No, that's all right, because I've been coming round there since I was about... I know, see. ...seven or something, so in my head I thought we were going to do that again. When did you start Honeywell? I came to Honeywell when I was about eight, I think, see. Seven or something. So in my head, I thought we were going to do that again. When did you start Honeywell? I came to Honeywell when I was about eight, I think. Okay. But it was in top infant still, wasn't it? No, I thought you were second.

I think year five, year four, year five. No, year five is nearly... Miss Morris. It was in, it was... No, it wasn't. I remember being in the... Oh, no, I know why. I think he knows better oh no i know why do you know why i met you i used to see your mum waiting for william yeah you would have done yeah yeah so his mum used to wait for

william that's why i thought you were in the infant yeah and i i remember walking into class and i remember seeing your i still remember it seeing your face walking to class as a new boy i just remember you like and you seemed you seemed like yeah this girl rules the classroom. Oh my god the bully! I remember thinking she was in charge. I wasn't a bully! No she wasn't a bully but she was obviously in charge Lenny. Oh wait. Sound familiar? I see. What do you mean I see? That's true though. Oh my god that's, but I was always nice to you. You were immediately nice to me. I asked you out, didn't I? Yeah, I was going to... Age to age. Do you know the story?

Jessie forced me to go out with her when I was about nine or ten. I remember this as well. I was kind of in the corner of a classroom and Jessie literally cornered me and said, you're going to be my boyfriend. Jessica. Didn't stop you kissing me throughout our teenage years. So there you go. Do you want to do it chronologically or not?

Yeah, let's stick with the chronology of it. Let's start. And I said, I don't think I want that. To be your boyfriend. And she said, no, no, no, you have to. I don't believe, I think you're going to be me. I remember you came closer and closer to me. And then I said, all right you have to i don't believe i think i remember you came closer and closer to me and then i said all right i'll do it i'll do it i'll do it i was grooming him anyway it didn't it didn't work did it didn't work out why didn't it work out

i think because you forced me to do it and And bad kisses. But we are best friends. So something worked out. It did work out very well, yeah. And I was just doing the intro for you, and I forgot to kind of add that, like, we've lived together on two separate occasions. Yeah. And the first one was a hovel, let's be honest.

Oh, yeah, in Brighton. The fly situation we had. That was disgusting.vel, let's be honest. Oh, yeah, in Brighton. The fly situation we had. That was bad. That was disgusting. Yeah, that was my fault. Well, I don't want to blame and name names, but it certainly wasn't my fault. No, I'm joking.

You were never there. I bought kebabs and left them there before we moved in, remember, for two months. Oh, my crikey, Fee. God, you're disgusting. Yeah, but we was only like 18, weren't we? Your love for kebabs hasn't changed, really, has it? No, it has, the last couple of years.

I'm sorry I didn't cook for you, Fi. You're busy driving from Chelsea. Chelsea. I don't know, because you've obviously come round to our house a lot, and you've had lots of mums cooking. Yeah. Any memorable meals? Or do they just all roll into one?

My main memory is that when I first used to come round for meals, I used to come home with massive bowls of chicken. You used to make me leave. I remember you driving me home and then you'd... That's food. And I'd have plates piled up. Things over the table. I'd ring the doorbell and it would be...

I think it was like barbecued chicken. I'd quite often have do you remember do you not remember that it sounds like it sounds right what was your like situation how did you eat like did you eat around the table with the family like yeah that's um that was I was thinking about on the way up here actually and we didn't really do because as you know my mum got ill when we were quite young and she was ill for most of our childhood so I think my mum would have cooked for us when we were little yeah when she got ill there was so much sort of chaos and my dad had to deal with three young boys having a job having a our mum be ill so looking back at now he did

pretty miraculous job, actually. But the one thing that kind of got left by the wayside was the food. And then having got in a band from the age of 17 until thingy, as you know, your life is just on tour. You get fed, don't you? You go to places and eating. So actually cooking and eating properly is something I'm just doing. But you can coffee

i can cook a little bit yeah because i heard about your roast i do really good well i tried to do christmas dinner last year yeah well tell us what it was i did probably what we're about to eat now like basically a roast you have roast chicken yeah the roast chicken yeah because my dad used to take us to um it, for kebabs for Christmas Day. I think, or he used to get a kick out of serving jacket potatoes when we were sort of teenagers. What, on Christmas Day? Yeah, on Christmas Day.

He used to have, like, my mum's family round for Christmas, and I think he used to get a slightly sadistic kick out of just giving everyone jacket potatoes and seeing what their response was. Were you pissed off? No, I used to think it was kind of funny. I was like slightly proud of the sort of anti-tradition of it. But anyway, a couple of years ago, I tried to seize some of the tradition back and I've been cooking for everyone. And I really enjoy it a lot. Do you still have a jacket potato with your chicken?

Last year, actually two years ago, I made jacket potatoes as a joke for everyone. Which my dad didn't find the humour. Funny. We've been joined by a guest, haven't we? Someone's teething. So baby Burrows is going to have a little bit of nana. I mean, Fi, it's been quite a mad year for you.

Yeah, and that's why I feel a little bit, at the moment, like I've been punched a little bit, and I'm just thinking about, well, it's just the whole, when your whole, we've had such a crazy year with the Maccabees ending and all kinds of other things, so. It must have been really hard breaking up. Yeah, the Maccabees was such an emotional thing. Well, you know, you were at the last gig.

Oh my God, I cried. I moshed and I cried. Did you come, Lenny? I invited you. I didn't come. I think I was away. It was really bittersweet. Which month was it? I can't remember. I think it was the end of June. You'll probably reform again, though, soon. Well, don't say that.

Well, that's what groups do. Yeah, I know. That's what everyone says. Yeah, I'm sure you will. But you just don't know, do you? It'll be like S Club 3. Well that's what groups do. Yeah I know. That's what everyone's saying to us. But you just don't know do you? It would be like S Club 3. Who's the four we're losing? Who would rejoin? Is that a thing S Club 3?

Which three of them stayed? I think it's H. Oh no that's Steps. Oh okay. They've reformed as well. Yeah. This is Jessie's problem is she can't break up with herself. I can't break up with myself. No so you're just going to be Jessie. Oh yeah no that is a problem. Well or I'll be a this morning presenter. Fear do you miss performing? Yeah I do. Because you were really good on stage oh thank you now handsome oh accomplished and you enjoy you

look like you're enjoying it i just enjoyed it so much and we used to have that thing we stopped playing tour but you at nine o'clock you suddenly feel like quite low all of a sudden i realized that's because your body's used to getting that that adrenaline rush yeah like fed into it so it takes a while just to sort of come back to common ground you know what i mean you're doing so many other great things yeah it's been good your own record label yeah the label is that going well yeah really well yeah yeah introduce your record label so we started a record label called yalla records because my mum was as you know is palestinian so she used to say uh yalla all the time or my grandmother would yell it was in Arabic is come on hurry up let's go so he's been like yala was like let's leave the house let's go what a great nice phrase isn't it but we

used to sort of mock use it to each other quite often and then um so I've always had that phrase in my head and then when we started we realised when the Maccabees ended that a lot of the sort of communities that formed what the Maccabees were when we started have since been eroded away. There used to be a lot of seven-inch record labels, independent culture, club nights, guitar bands where you can kind of form identities, I guess. That doesn't really happen anymore. Given that we got a studio and everything that we built at Maccabees. But you've still got your studio. Yeah, we've got a studio and everything that we've built at Maccabees.

But you've still got your studio. Yeah, we've got a studio. In Elephant. In Elephant, exactly. So we can record bands in there and we're just trying to sort of re-galvanise a bit of guitar culture. Fantastic.

Yeah, which has been an amazing thing. I realised after the Maccabees that what I liked about the Maccabees was it was lots of people together making something happen. And then I thought, well, that's exactly what this label is going to be as well it's people together so how many people are

involved in the label well it's just two of us but then outside of it just me and Morad but then outside of it the other Maccabees work on the recording aspects the people that worked with the band do run the venue that we do the night at and various fans like you know hannah kovacs yeah took photos of us so we're trying to like harness that family because there was such a family with the maccabees i mean you saw it at the alexandra palette palace sorry alley pally you just saw it was kind of like being, a funeral. It was like friends we hadn't seen for years. Yeah.

And people that live all over the world now that came back for this show. Yeah. And it was just the most bittersweet kind of evening where it was reuniting all these kind of old friends and faces because the Maccabees gigs was such an important part of our growing up, I think. Yeah.

And such a social thing there was amazing feeling in those room weren't they who did them it felt a little bit like us but because we'd been children basically up to that point you know teenagers and through our 20s but it was this sudden realization that everyone in that room was saying goodbye to their childhood really and because we were doing it in a united way that wasn't bitter or resentful and was unified yes there was this kind of feeling of exorcism in the room where everyone was using it as a metaphor so across that week i had people come and sing oh my dad died and we listened to that thing or my friends were getting all back together from there and you realize that

it's kind of about the band but actually it's nothing to do with the band as well, it's about the people and you've just sort of been a vehicle to move it through, do you know what I mean? That's what the great thing about, because people have come to see you and have met their partner or whatever it is. Yeah, and those are the things that you take back, like that's, they still bowl me over those, those stories. yeah those stories oh we've got we've got the baby the baby's finally happy and eating loads of veggie crisps but your mum's your mum was um palestinian yes her mum was palestinian but did you eat

lots of palestinian food yeah so we would have um her mother especially would have gone around and would have eaten um lebanese dishes you know it would have been round and would have eaten Lebanese dishes. You know, it would have been like those kind of dips and all that sort of stuff. And she would have cooked it when we were little, but I probably have very little memory of it, to be honest. Because your mum got sick from when you... Well, yeah, she got MS when I was... I don't know when she...

I would have been three or four when she got diagnosed with it. And she died when I was, as you know, when I was 17. So that was, it was slowly downhill. Yeah. I remember when she was still walking and everything. Well, you knew her well, didn't you? Yeah, I remember. She was beautiful.

She was, yeah. Very beautiful. Clever. Yeah. Did she have blue eyes for you? She did, yeah. The same eyes eyes she did yeah piercing blue yeah you're an ambassador for ms society yeah do you feel like that's i mean i feel like you understood the illness so much but do you feel like it's had like a cathartic being an ambassador yeah well

i think it's just helping people that in relatively similar situations isn't it you know but i to be honest i don't think i do um understand the condition that much because it's something that you know we wouldn't wouldn't really front up to exactly what it all meant do you know i mean it's just sort of happening in front of you isn't it so i think what we're trying to help with more than me and hugo who's also an ambassador is this sort of emotional side of it you know kids that might have parents that are going through it do you go and see well yeah we meet them do you know what I mean and get and if it because obviously the McAfee's appeal to younger

people which MS doesn't necessarily have society have that reach towards it's been a bit more about you know connecting with those people that might be affected. That's amazing. Yeah, it's been a nice thing. So as an MS ambassador, what do you have to do? Well, mainly it's the sort of fundraising aspects, putting on events and things like that. And a lot of it is, like, for example, last week, I held a human brain in my hand. Crikey, why? It was a 46-year-old man's brain with an MS,

and it was to show you what a person with MS's brain, how it physically looks different. Does it change? Well yeah, what's supposed to be white isn't white and all that kind of thing. How interesting. And we looked, well obviously you have, I can't imagine you have, held human brain. No, don't think I really fancy it either. Man it's so deep.

Was it quite heavy? Yeah, it's really heavy and we're just about to eat. It was dripping as well. It was like real brain. I've put the babies back to bed. She's had her veggie straws and banana and now we're going to eat

and actually, you know what? Considering I was really hungover this morning I actually I'm gonna say I think this is quite a good attempt I was doing a gig last night and Jose Feliciano was there. Right. And it was a really, like, pretty star-studded thing. It was really amazing. Yeah. And we were sitting next to each other. Yeah. We ended up, like, he kind of was chatting to me.

He, um... He's blind. I didn't know he was blind. Didn't you? No. Is that, like, a known thing? Of course, Jessie. How long has he been blind for?

Forever. Oh, right. Like, Sylvia Wonder? Yeah has he been blind for? Forever. Oh, right. Like Sylvie Wonder? Yeah, he's always worn dark glasses. Okay, well, so he was blind, right? Yeah. You don't even know what's coming, right? So he goes, we're sitting next to each other.

Now, in like a rehearsal before, this wonderful singer called Ruby was making him turn his back to me. And she was like, I keeping jose away from you with this like look and i was like maybe he's got a glad eye excuse the pun but whatever so um we're sitting next to each other he hasn't said anything to me all night and then he says something to me and we kind of end up holding hands and he was like sorry is this appropriate and i was like oh yeah what do you mean you sort of end up i don't know we were like sitting next to each other i don't know maybe i shook his hand i don't know it was fine i sitting next to each other. I don't know. Maybe I shook his hand. I don't know. It was fine. I was like, yeah, no, it's all good. And then he went, I have to say, you look very pretty tonight.

And I was like, come again. And I said, thank you. And he went, just like Lady in Red. I was like in a black and white dress, babe. So who else does he use this come this this come on line to and just hope that they're in red yeah and then and then he didn't give up there so i was like cool brilliant that's quite funny um uh and then he went now let me ask you something are you married or are you happy i said i'm married and happy but thank you so much Jose. And then we just like kind of left it at that. But thank you so much Jose.

Is that what you said? Yeah I think I did. Could you just say no way Jose? Oh damn! Shit mum you're too sharp! So yeah to talk more about your cricket career. Come on. Do you like having a job? Like, I know being a musician, it still felt a bit not like a job. It felt like a dream a lot of the time.

Well, it feels like a dream for me, but, like, it's really hard. But is it quite nice to feel like this is what I do? Yeah, I think there was... I think there's a lot of elements of being a musician or being in a band where you can forever be a kid because you're told to get on a bus that time we're in that time we're going on stage that time when you do anything well someone goes you're brilliant well done but I feel like um yeah I feel like you're in danger to being that as musicians and never quite getting in touch with reality and I feel like yeah I feel like you're in danger of being that as a musician and never quite getting in touch with reality and I feel like the way the Maccabees happened

in the long term do me a favour because you just got to get that's what living is you just get punched don't you and then you've got to deal with it and like since then I've become well I'm doing a I'm a radio presenter I've got a label, a cricket one, because I'm making... I mean, you're not just doing one thing, you're doing about ten things. You're writing a book as well, see? Yeah, I'm doing a book as well. I really want to talk about this, like, life after, because it kind of brings us, follows us nicely from that.

It's like, there is life after the Maccabees for you, but will you just kind of explain this? Do you want to talk about the cricket article? I kind of. I find cricket really boring, but I do want to talk about your cricket stuff. Because I'm proud of you. Okay. But I don't really care about the cricket.

But I care about what you're doing. You should, Jessie. Do you care about cricket? Yeah, I slightly do. That is such a lie, mum. I don't love cricket. You just side-eyed me and that was a lie. I slightly do.

Darling, I played cricket at school. I was the best long thrower. You know, that's not a thing, though, in cricket. When you have to field, Cripp Fee, you don't throw as far as me. I was like Gary Neville's sister. She's never, Mum. She's hockey.

But she's got a very long throw. That's why Gary Neville's sister. She's netball mum. She's hockey. But she's got a very long throw. That's why Gary Neville had a long throw. I don't want to talk about cricket. I just want to talk about what you're doing in cricket. Okay. Well, we can talk about cricket. Or we can talk about Lenny's cricket. Yeah, broaden your horizon to cricket.

Are you sure you weren't playing like netball mum? Well, now I've realised that the person that I really fancied wasn't the person I thought I fancied in the cricket team. The one with the sleepy eyes, that's Alistair Cook. Alistair Cook is JX Catton, but he's got quite a wide jaw. He's very good looking, Fi. He is, he's gorgeous. As good looking as Freddie Flintoff.

A test is a day. No darling. A test is two in What's the other one? Is it... It's two innings for each... That's true. Correct. Two innings for each team. But, you know, a test match lasts five days.

Five days, darling. I just don't have the patience for it. I'm sorry. Well, obviously not. No. I might just put this in my cricket podcast. Do you know what?

I'd really like to know what it means is when you have to follow on and people get so excited if you make big teams follow on yeah can i tell you about that yeah okay so uh in cricket uh you have two teams that bat twice yeah if a first team scores say 500 yeah if the next team don't get within 200 runs of it yeah so the next team get um 250 they're quite far behind the team that batted first have the

option to make the team that bat second again so you can put them through their misery they follow on they bat again and they still might not

get what you've got the first time no it's well you're tactical so they do that now what's that other thing that they do in cricket

that people say is not nice sledging sledging yeah you'd be a good I've heard all about it do you have mum on your podcast yeah

sledging tell me Fi well you know is it like saying your mother it's exactly like that that's what they do it's exactly like that

I was going to call the podcast your mum and especially now you've got stump mics so you can hear what the parents are saying so they get in trouble

you're about to bowl and you walk past them and you say your mother or I was with your past them and you say, your mother. I was with your missus last night. Your mum. Your mother. Do you know what your missus is doing? Is that what they do to wind them up?

Which are the biggest sledgers? The Australians or the British? The Australians are famously... Shane Ward. There was a big Shane Ward. There was a big one. There was a famous one last year where my friend Jimmy was batting,

James Anderson. Right, yeah. And the Australian captain got up to him and they didn't think that he'd get picked up on the stunt mic and they go,

get ready for a fucking broken arm. Oh, that's wicked. I thought it was quite too good. So that's Australian. No, it's deep. Shit goes down, yeah. Shit goes down. Jesse, you see? maybe I do want to go

what well this is what we want in cricket do they get like do they fisticuff no they don't fight do they sledge in other sports

I think they probably do don't they yeah but this is the thing because cricket is a game played in the head a lot you have to get inside someone's psyche

so if someone's batting well and you can't disrupt them this is the idea is to slightly distract them or to get into it but they can't be very bright cricketers because if everybody knows you're going to do that you just kind of block it out wouldn't you well you'd be a very good cricketer by the sound of things oh please road rage over here please should we tell everybody about when you got fish and chips thrown over you by the van driver because you told him to fuck off or something.

No, I did not tell him to do that. What happened? Did you get mushy peas? I said, do I? He was going at 10 miles an hour down Acre Lane. Right. And when I drove alongside him and I said, do I have to go at 10 miles an hour because you're eating your lunch?

And he said, have some and threw it in my face. What are you afraid of? It wasn't as bad as when the Chelsea supporters peed on our car. I know. You asked for that too, you put the flag up. Because you had a Man United. Yeah, you had a scarf out. I'm proud, man you and proud. What because you parked it up? On Albert on Albert Bridge no just over that road Beaufort Street as we're coming up you think that's wrong Fee? have you forsaken Fulham? no

before you wanted to be a rock star you wanted to be lots of things including football manager I mean that was quite a serious time did you play in the first team Fee

no thinking man thinking man okay so there was also no to do with Fulham

yeah you wanted to have a burger van didn't you oh yeah why was that done so he could be near Fulham he gets very obsessed

about things okay so he wanted to run a burger van outside Fulham. I don't think that's a great aspiration, to be honest. I think it's quite a good one. Do you? You've wanted to be a wrestler, too.

No, I haven't been wanting to be a wrestler. I did was obsessive wrestling, wasn't I, for a little bit. Yeah, please, can you do your rock? No. Please, because I got it from you. I haven't done it for 25 years. No, no, no. I'm not going to do it.

Come on. I haven't done it for so long now. Can you smell what the rock is cooking? It's quite good. I can't even remember that. Slice that up. Did he say putang pie? Did he say that? Don't say that. What's putang pie? Don't even remember that. Slice that up. Did he say poutang pie? Did he say that?

Yeah, don't say that. What's poutang with garlic? Never mind. Okay. All right. Okay. Okay. Fee, what is your worst table manner of somebody else's worst table manner?

Does that make sense? sense yeah that does make sense i don't like do you know one weird thing i don't like in a restaurant when people are still eating and the waiter comes and takes takes um plates away from people in america all the time it's a thing in america i don't know what and i don't also don't know why it's that's upsetting why that should be offensive because it makes you feel like you're slow

you are quite slow like mum and I finished like normally I'm really really fast you're often talking I know why are you being so

you're usually like wolf it now because I used to that used to be my thing to eat because there was three of us there was three of you

as well but we used to eat so quickly to get whatever was left everyone had to eat quickly to beat Jesse never left. Everyone had to eat quickly to beat Jessie. Never share a meal with Jessie. She says,

oh, let's have this, this and this. We'll share. And me, Sam and Alex are going, no. We want to talk about eat my word. Eat your word. Well, seeing as this is a food podcast and it is quite funny

yeah when you were 11 yeah Felix you introduced this on my 16th birthday Felix brought this out the video out

yeah anyway I don't think I've ever laughed so much I actually felt have you still got the video yeah I've still got it oh my god do you know I got mugged a bit

and asked it back you didn't because after my party you all got mugged at the end of the road. And we got mugged. And then we had to come back to the house. And mum went and tried to find them all, didn't you? You came with me, darling. We got mugged.

And you gave us all whiskey. I remember we were only about 15. You got punched. To get over the shock. All right, so we went to primary school together, as you described. And when we were, maybe, we must have been about nine or ten. People came round asking, asking for kids that wanted to be on a show. I think we just got picked.

I think we just, people came to class and you had to draw a picture. Oh, really? Or tell a story or something. God, you have such a better memory than me. And they went, all right, you six are in, or whatever. Okay, yeah. And me and you were two of the people that got chosen. Yeah.

And it was being chosen for a ITV, children's TV show called Eat Your Words, which Simon Parkin presented. And it was on at about 3.30, 4am. In the morning. Your dad was the only person who recorded it. My dad got up to watch all of them and recorded them. But the motive, basically, of this TV show was you had to answer like in you had

to answer inanely simple questions but if you happen to get them wrong and you had to eat a disgusting forfeit yeah and if you ate a disgusting forfeit then you bizarrely got more points than you did if you got the question right yeah so who so i... So I'm first and Jessie's next after me. No, well, Jessie's first. And they ask Jessie what the... They ask Jessie what the fifth letter of the alphabet is. The alphabet's written out in front of her. She goes F.

I've never been good on TV. And they go, OK, you're going with F. Are you sure? Are you sure F? And Jessie looks at it again. She goes, yeah, you're going with F Are you sure? Are you sure F? And Jessie looks at it again and she goes I'm definitely going F And I'm looking across at it And I'm going Jessie

With my buck teeth because I hadn't had my teeth straightened out Jessie had her red denim jacket Pink denim jacket on Are you sure it's F, Jessie? And she goes, no, I'm 100% it's F Anyway, it wasn't F The fifth, I'm 100% it's F. Anyway, it wasn't F. The fifth letter of the alphabet is E.

Especially if it's written out in front of you. But he said, don't worry, Jesse. As long as you eat one of these disgusting forfeits, you'll be fine. So Jesse had to eat... Cold peas or something. You might remember better. Did I get the pickled onion and custard, or did I get...

Cold custard and carrots and everything. Oh, yeah. It's a deeply frustrating memory for me because Jessie just wolfed down all the disgusting... And got most points. ...forfeits and she knocked me out just by the fact that they were like... Not out of it. And how was that? And she'd be like, no, it was all right. It was good.

It wasn't intellect. Was it disgusting? She'd be like, no. Tactical me. That's pretty good. It's just like... Jessie, maybe you should. It was good. It wasn't intellect. Was it disgusting? She'd be like, no. Tactical. No, it's pretty good. It's just like... Jessie, maybe you should go on a celebrity. Oh, no fucking way.

I got asked for that bloody Bear Grylls celebrity island thing. Everyone would have seen what a nightmare Jewish princess I am. You got asked to go on Bear Grylls... Yeah. What was it called? The island. What, you have to... Fuck that. I'm a Jewish princess. Why the fuck would I want to be on a fucking deserted island where I can't eat? Jessie. go on Bear Grylls what was it called? The Island what you have to fuck that

I'm a Jewish princess why the fuck would I want to be on a fucking deserted island where I can't eat sorry yeah let's not

swear as much but that was tactical that was a tactical thing just you know maybe I could play cricket do you think

you realistically will be on a reality TV show is that a rhetorical question which one would you be on

strictly strictly just so you lose the weight and you get to Is that a rhetorical question? Which one would you be on? Strictly. Strictly. Just so you lose the weight and you get to dance. That is really funny about Eat Your Words, and quite appropriate for this. Yeah, anyway, years later, when we were, Jessie, it was your 15th, 16th birthday.

Yeah, you bought the video. After leaving your house, we all got mugs of everything we had. Can I, no, but like... We sure might be living in a rough area. No, we were the most innocent kids, because teenagers. Yeah, well, that's why we got mugs. It was an afternoon tea party on a Sunday. Yes, it was, babe. It was, it was afternoon tea, babe. That was the joke of it.

It was on Sunday, on an afternoon. No, it was pitch black out there, it was dangerous out there. Yeah, but it was in October. And you left about seven. Oh, really? That's not my memory of it at all. But that's what we were on, but it was October. And you left about seven. Oh, really? That's not my memory of it at all. But that's probably

It definitely was afternoon. How many times have you been mugged though? Enough. And your dad had to come and

pick you up. Did he? I had to ring him and say, Felix has been mugged but is okay. Did we call the police? No, you think

you are the police. You think you... I am not. We went out. Jessie and I like the police. You think you... I am not law. We went round, Jessie and I like vigilantes. No shotgun. Come at me. You went out looking for them. Yeah, we did. Me and Jessie did. We went looking

for them and the police then said to me, I'd just like to warn you, Miss Swerves, leave the policing to us. Anyway, when we got mugged, they nicked the video, the Eat Your Words video that I'd taken up. And I thought, fuck, I'm never going to get that back. Not that.

Anything but that. So I just gathered all the courage I had just to run back to the pack of kids. Oh, Fee! And I just located the guy that I thought would be most unsightly and just went, mate, I'm so sorry. I know you just hate him, but there's a video in all that stuff you've got which I Lenny, don't stitch me up on podcast. We have had girls mugging around. Were there girls?

No, no, no. But there were girls mugged Tommy Stubbington. Do you remember coming off the school bus? And he's like six foot three. What did we eat a lot of when we lived off Mare Street? Oh, I'll tell you what we did eat. Lammerchen. Lammerchen.

We were obsessed. It was only a pound, wasn't it? And that was just lunch and dinner. At the time, you were working in Selfridges. I was. Where were you working? Yeah, I was working in Selfridges. Maccabees, we were making our second record

were you doing second record yeah what was Sam doing being a freeloader Sam and Jessie had just got back to together

you literally got back together when we moved in there I know I'm so sorry that I did that and we all moved in that tiny flat didn't we

it was so small no it was great though it was such a good time but like what liberty I was like yeah me Joel and Felix lived together and then I was

like, oh yeah sorry I'm back with Sam so can he live with us and you were like, yeah cool. You didn't mind Sam? No not at all, I love Sam so much. He's pretty easy, you probably wanted him more than me. He's probably tidier. He is. We had rats. No that was in Brighton.

No that was in, no that was in, don't you think? Did we? Yeah in the walls, yeah. Because do you remember you, you, because I was the last person to get there, you really kindly, kindly gave me the designated room,

the worst room, yeah. Oh, they were all pretty fucking small. Joel got the best one. Well, mine was the smallest, so. We drew straws. Well, I wasn't there though, we drew straws. Well, that's a shame.

So, so that's interesting, that you drew straws, but I wasn't there to see that I got the smallest straw, but I did. You always, that's a shame. So that's interesting that you're sure about that. I wasn't able to see that I got a straw in a straw, but I did. That happened with the house in Brighton as well. I think it might have done, Jessie, didn't it? Yeah, but you paid less. Because didn't you drop out that year, the second year?

Yeah, we dropped out, yeah. Because I was really worried about you dropping out, yeah. Yeah, we signed a record deal, I think. You shouldn't be worried about him. I'm not worried about you dropping out yeah yeah we signed a record deal i think yeah you shouldn't be worried about him not worried about him now yeah can you just tell us about the life after oh okay because it's so interesting okay yeah so when bernard mccabe's uh finished it was a calamitous period of time and um i was nervous a bit for a while about what i was going to do after the band and uh as we've already established i'm obsessed with cricket and love cricket and the first Roeddwn i'n bryderchus am y peth rydw i'n mynd i'r band. Ac fel rydyn ni wedi'i ddatblygu, rwyf yn sgwrsio am cricet a'n caru cricet.

Roedd y cyntaf o bobl i mi'n meddwl oedd cricetwyr. Rwyf wedi cwrdd â rai cricetwyr yn y gorffennol ac roeddwn i'n teimlo eu bod yn yr amser gyfeillgar i mi. Roeddwn i wedi cwrdd â cricetwr am ddwy flynedd yn ôl a oedd yn gweithio mewn ffenyw. Roeddwn i'n ei adnabod fel bwler, who I recognised as a Lancashire fast bowler, and he was just sort of loading waters in and out of a fridge. How did you recognise him? Because I just really love cricket. OK.

And he'd been Player of the Year at Lancashire the year before. He'd won the County Championship, which is like the cricket equivalent of winning the Premier League. Then his back had gone, and his mum had died actually in the same week, and he'd had to start again, and obviously cricketers don't earn a huge amount of money at that level. And we got talking about it and I was really, I was just really taken with the enthusiasm with which he was just moving into a new. He was basically being like a roadie.

He was a rep. A rep. At the time. And he was a very successful rep, but he was just sort of, you know, he was working as an assistant rep at the time. A promoter. a promoter so they kind of look after you in each venue that you're in and they'll make sure that your ride is there and they'll make sure that like you get paid and stuff so yeah exactly so and then and when my band broke up he was the first person i thought of and then i thought oh there's a story in that somewhere so i've been writing for cricket magazine I went to interview him and it

kind of snowballed into a piece about what do cricketers do when I interviewed you know people like Freddie Flintoff and loads of and loads of low-level cricket about what you do at that point in your life when everything changes using my own experience as a kind of uh sense of capacity yeah yeah do i mean and so there's people that have started um like made shoes uh started coffee companies come painters did you just specifically look at cricket cricket yeah it was just through cricket just because i love that you could do it for every well exactly that's it and you're going to do a podcast well no this is what the book oh the book is going to be with um if you've got to be with footballers, cricketers, I'm talking with someone about it. Amazing.

And maybe even dancers, things like that. So people have been quite physical or something that when you're young you can do it but maybe not as you get a bit older. Exactly, exactly. do it but maybe not when as you get a bit older exactly exactly and those that small elite that can do whatever they want from the top but then you have this whole world of people that have been fighting fighting fighting fighting to get somewhere and then you're sort of catapulted out of this situation and even if you know you need to prepare for it the reality of it is deeper isn't it of course it is you know especially if you're you have the physical element your body can't do something that you want it to do anymore and so it's just it was really interesting getting

to the heads of all these people and i think what i found out the other side of it which is actually more interesting than what i thought i was going to find i thought i was going to find something that was a bit darker but actually pretty much all of them said i'm happier now that I'm not just a cricketer so I feel myself as a three-dimensional person and you know that I could get in touch with different things that's what you feel like and I felt like as I was moving through I was like oh maybe that's there's a lesson in that somewhere you know what would be your last meal ever on death row? Oh, I know what it is.

Go on. Calamari. Do you love calamari? That's a good one. Yeah, I'm obsessed with calamari. Ever since I was a little... I went to go in Spain and I found them a little and I was like, what are those things that look like onion rings?

The first time I'd eaten them, I'm thinking, what is that? Squid, all kinds of squid. Battered squid. I know. It's really I'm thinking what is that? squid all kind of squid battered squid I know it's really good do you remember that that's a very good one what did Homer Simpson say?

give me the calamari with extra tentacles because no one really wants the tentacle bit they all want it around there Bart said that would that be

you're allowed like a starter and a main okay calamari start okay nice and then have I have steak and chips. Yeah, I like steak. Very good.

Just really good steak and chips. Which sauce? I wouldn't have any sauce. Oh. Just really good steak. Not even Dijon? Mustard. Oh, I'd have mustard.

Okay, you wouldn't have a Bearnaise. I thought you meant like peppercorn or whatever. Oh, yeah. No, no, no, no. I hate that stuff. Not even on the side to dip? No, no, no, no, no, no. And then pud?

I'd have... I'd have Alex's ice cream. Oh, shut up. Yeah,? I'd have, um, I'd have Alex's ice cream. Oh, shut up. Yeah, you've got to come round. I'd have Alex's ice cream. No, but you always told me about ice cream was apparently, you said this to me, ice cream was for happy people. Did I? Yeah. I don't remember saying that. When we were little. Ooh. Happy people like ice cream. Did I say that? And I didn't really like ice cream, so then I just thought maybe I was a depressive person. I can remember Fee, when you'd had your braces off. Okay, great.

And you'd just had them off that day, and I was on Northcote Road. And you came along, and I heard this voice say, Lenny, Lenny, Lenny. And I said, hi, Fee. And all I saw was this big smile. I said, God, he said, look. And I said, you look wonderful, Fee. And this dazzling, handsome smile. Suddenly appeared.

You definitely needed the braces, let's be honest. Yeah, those teeth were massive. Well, look, I needed to lose the weight. He needed the braces. Let's not talk about appearances. Right, okay, we're going to have some crumble. Thank you for being on Table Manners, Felix. No, it's better.

It's just like normal, but with microphones. I know. But you are an excellent guest.ers, Felix. No, it's better. It's just like normal, but with microphones. I know. But you are an excellent guest. Thank you. You're still my favourite. We had an agreement. I know, darling. What's that?

That we were going to get married. Oh, we did. Yeah. When was this agreement? When was this agreement? I think it was when we were 30 we were going to get married. I know. I think it was when we were teenagers.

No, I think it was earlier than that. You said... Oh, married I know I think it was when we were teenagers no you I think it was earlier than that you said oh god when I was nine yeah when you were forcing me to go out you said you agreed to it though

yeah I agreed you said okay if we haven't got we're still lonely at 30 we'll get married so Jessie got married quick sharply before that So Jessie got married quick, Charlotte. Poor thing.

I feel like we don't even need to discuss Felix because everyone will know how much you adore him. Love him. I feel he's part of our family I know it was a bit funny doing it with him because yeah because you know so much about each other and he knows so much about you and us but I hope it you know people are supplied with fun information about um his buck teeth and my lack of intelligence. I've just got such admiration for him. I know. Because he's always been a very

brave person. Yes. And he's always very gentle. He's not aggressive. He's just the most lovely person. And he's doing really well. That's fabulous. We're very proud of you, Felix. Yeah. Love Felix. Thank you for listening to Table Manners this week.

I've been Jessie Ware and this is my mother, Lena. Bye. The music you've been listening to on Table Manners is by the wonderful Peter Duffy and Peter Fraser. On each step with Peloton. From their pop runs to walk and talks, you define what it means to be a runner. Whatever your level, embrace it. Journey starts when you say so.

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