Table Manners with Jessie and Lennie Ware - S6 Ep 5: Róisín Murphy

Episode Date: May 22, 2019

I had every intention of dressing to seriously impress one of my musical and style icons however, when Róisín Murphy arrives an hour early, she gets work-out gear, greasy hair and she has to hold the baby whilst I sort the toddler's dinner. Good thing she doesn’t believe in showering every day and also shares my passion for the beloved baked potato. We talk Met Gala lewks, boiled eggs, her mum's Irish stew and her Italian partner 'beating his meat' whilst also discussing the music industry. Darling Roisin felt so comfortable at ours she even RINSED my rhubarb fool (with mum having to step in to defend me). This episode is raucous, naughty and exciting, just like our fantastic 'no holds barred' musical wonder-woman, Ms Róisín Murphy Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello and welcome to Table Manners. I'm Jessie Ware and I present this podcast with my dear mother, Lenny. Hi. We're six series in and the relationship is stronger than ever, I'd say, Mum. I think so. We cook for a guest and we ask kind of food memories and it can go everywhere and anywhere, the conversation. So tonight we have Roisin Murphy. Now, I'm not going to lie.

This intro was recorded after this guest arrived because she arrived an hour early. Wow. Were you ready? Was I ready? I was feeding my daughter food and still preparing the food that she was going to eat and hadn't had a shower for the day. So. Wow. the food that she was going to eat and hadn't had a shower for the day so wow this is not how I wanted to meet one of my style icons in Adidas running shoes and leggings but do you think she

minded I just wondered whether she would have been more impressed with the outfit that I thought I was going to she was a health visitor when I walked in she had the baby and was looking kind of in charge. I did. She says, hello. And I said, well, hi. Didn't you see? Why would I know? I didn't know what she looked like.

And she wasn't singing Bring It Back. Well, Mum, do you think our guests, do you think when Ed Sheeran was on, he was going, love with the shape of you. No, no, no. But that's how I would have identified her. I had to say I thought she was the health visitor yeah got it note to Roisin when you go to a stranger's house you have to come in singing the Maloko song the remix I have been excited about this guest for a very long time she's one of kind of an icon I think to me with style and music and sound just everything

about her is so exciting as a woman in music and she is inspiring she does everything herself and I think it's kind of has been way ahead of her time for years um so it is with great pleasure that we have managed to get Roisin Murphy on this podcast. Unfortunately, the way I met her didn't really go quite to plan, as you'll hear. Mum, what have we got on the menu tonight? Tagliata, which is basically... Say it again. Tagliata. Tagliata. Ciabatta. Ciabatta. No, tagliata. Parmigiano. It's just really steak, but chopped, served in strips. And you just serve it with kind of lemon and garlic and rosemary. And you let it sit for a bit and the juices come out.

Yeah. And it's quick. It's quick. I think, yeah, it's really tasty. It's an easy midweek showstopper. Yeah, I think it is. And then I've done it with my mate nick's recipe for chips now what's special about he says it's really important to use cypress potatoes which are a very thin

and such a boy thing to do why i think it is a boy thing to do say it's all about the potato he swears by them and also it's season six I'm running out of ideas which yeah I know it's hard so when can we start regurgitating oh god that sounds terrible for a food program so we've decided we're six series in and we know we've got a community of people that listen to this regularly and we appreciate it so much so we have decided to kind of open the gates to you and all your opinions because we get so many people asking us for the recipes or telling us that we should try things this way so we want to kind of get to know you a bit better and so we've decided to open up the email so if you'd like to email us any food recommendations restaurant recommendations uh what they call life hacks.

That's what people say. What's life hacks? Oh, mum. What is this now? I've just learnt podcast. Christ, what's a life hack? Jesus. Oh, you're going to find out.

God, burn them. Life hacks. Please send my mum some life hacks now. What's a life hack? So the email that we would love you to write into if you have a recipe you'd like us to try or a restaurant you implore us to go to or just a little life hack uh trick up your sleeve that you like to do with your lasagna or your way you bake your potato our email that we would love you to email into is hello at tablemannerspodcast.com. We'd love to hear from you and kind of include you into the podcast a little bit.

We'll say hello to those who say hello to us. Yeah, we'll kind of try and include you within these podcasts. Great. And maybe steal some recipes. Fantastic. It'd be interesting to see if our crowd are actual foodies that can cook. Yeah. They just like to eat out.

Yeah. Roisin Murphy coming coming up you are in for a belter an absolute treat i had to defend you tonight first time ever yeah roisin this is such a pleasure to have you because i've been a fan of you for ages and so many of my friends are so jealous that they're not here right now you're kind of an icon in so many different worlds and like kind of just I I think that yeah this is a real real pleasure so thank you thank you how long have you been doing this for I've been doing it for nearly, well, I guess coming up for the 25th year. Oh, shit.

And how does it feel now compared to 25 years ago? Just, well, did you tell people what I do? Because some people, I do everything. I do all the music. Well, I'm a musician first, and it starts with music. What do you play? My voice. Oh, you're right. I don't play anything. Can you read music? No, I can't. I can starts with music. What do you play? My voice. Oh you're right. I don't play anything.

No I can't, I can't read music but I'm really involved in the kind of production side of it and now I'm involved in every single bloody part of it so. Well how has that happened because sorry to interject and tell me what is right and what's wrong. So Moloko was the band that started your career? Was that kind of you? Joined Moloko when I was 19. I mean, we started Moloko when I was 19. Got a record deal at that point. Yeah. And based on just being daft, really, and not singing or anything.

I wasn't a singer. I was saying stuff like, do you like my tight sweater? and just being daft, really, and not singing or anything. I wasn't a singer. I was saying stuff like, do you like my tight sweater? And, you know, pretending to be a valley girl and acting and just chatting on tracks. Where were you? Where was this? Where did it start? Sheffield. In Sheffield? Okay. Why Sheffield? And you're from Ireland.

Well, I moved to Manchester first as a 12-year-old with my family. And you still got the accent. Yeah, I mean, I think when I lived in the north, Manchester first as a 12 year old with my family. And you still got the accent. Yeah. I mean, I think when I lived in the north, I had more of a northern accent. But coming to London, I'm just surrounded by people of all kinds and all different accents all the time. And there isn't really a sort of prevailing. I do pick up. I do really pick up accents.

That's apparently means you're a very empathetic person. Oh Oh really? Yeah, that's what I've heard. Yeah When you're which part of Manchester we moved to Stockport when I was 12 as okay this was as a family and then my family kind of well the My family mum and dad broke up when I was 15 and they all went different ways and I stayed in Manchester at that point broke up when I was 15 and they all went different ways and I stayed in Manchester at that point in Stockport in Stockport you know in the Guardian today it's the highest place for depression oh that's terrible that's weird isn't it most places in Manchester in the UK in the UK they did the top 10 for depression I think top and Manchester Stockport was at the top Middleton and Rochdale were there as well lots of northern places did you enjoy I think Stockport was at the top. Middleton and Rochdale were there as well.

Lots of northern places. Did you enjoy being in Stockport? I had a lovely time. For me, it was just ideal to leave a small town at that point and go to a city. It was just the perfect thing for me. It wasn't the perfect thing, obviously, three years later from the rest the rest of the family put a lot of pressure on the family and everything else so I loved it I loved it because I was obsessed with music and and at that time I was going out to see bands and starting to kind of so was it the hacienda? Yeah. Yeah, Hacienda time. Yeah. So where did you move from?

From a little town south of Dublin in County Wicklow. The town's called Arklow. Arklow. Growing up, so you were going clubbing, but then, you know, I've read lots of your reference, like your kind of inspirations, or maybe this is just kind of them throwing them out there, like Sonic Youth and the Pixies and stuff.

Well, that's, yeah, the sonic youth comes from the fact that really it changed everything after i'd see sonic youth live in manchester i was 14 i got ticket off the tout outside went in sat on the side of the stage watched as they just threw kim gordon off the stage over and over again into the audience and they let me sit on the side of the stage because it was an evil like mosh pit you know and something I'd never seen before an energy I'd never felt before and I will come home the next day and went to the record exchange and changed all my U2 records sold them all and then bought the Sonic Youth records that was it then I was obsessed with music

of that kind for you know really that was the main thing that i was into and jesus and mary chain and things like that sonic youth thing though well they sang nothing very nothing that you would probably know no no probably no your songs yeah your songs. Yeah, no, I'd be a bit, even I'd be a bit popular than some youth. So, but they. Was it dance music? No, no. What was it then? All this was like horrible music your mum doesn't like.

Okay. So you've probably been a mum. Slightly punky. Yeah. And I don't want to say emo, but there's like. No Wave is what it's called. No Wave, actually. No Wave.

As opposed to New Wave. But it's not like I was only into No Wave or, you know, New York stuff. No, but when did you start clubbing? 16, I guess, to really start clubbing. Went to every kind of conceivable club. And they just had every club you could want in Manchester. They had clubs that was only reggae. They had clubs that was only R&B, hip-hop.

Then, of course the acid house came in and yeah did you enjoy that too loved it yeah yeah it was i mean yeah i i think that i wanted to know because obviously your well your music is the production is insane and your voice sounds amazing and the pop the the past project like these collection of eps almost like were they album no yes collection of eps and they were it's a collection of singles i guess it was a and b there was kind of like four of them right yeah yeah and um to be played in the clubs right yeah or your producer tested them out oh yeah you only tested them in clubs if i said i didn't like something he said well i played it in the club, it works, so that's that.

That's the best compliment in the world, isn't it? You can't fuck with that, really. Well, if that's what we're trying to achieve, then I thought, okay, I won't make it into an album because I don't sort of really see, unless I can fiddle with it a little bit more than that, I can't make a Roisin Murphy album. And then I thought, well, fine, then I'll just take it for what it is

and I release them in 12-inch packages. That's quite fun, though, right?'ll just take it for what it is. And I released them in 12 inch packages. That's quite fun though, right? And just put it straight to that area, you know. But back to you doing everything. Yeah. You're independent. Yeah. Independent meaning I'll take, I'll pitch me wagon as a go along.

Yeah. But like you are very involved. You're a producer. You're a writer. You're a musician. You're a director. director you direct all your music your current music videos yeah and didn't you do a fat white um family yes yeah and it's kind of like you're everything and it must be exhausting it is that's kind of how you have to be right it's exhausting dealing with creative people that are doing stuff for you that you don't like as well. I mean, that's very exhausting.

Or that you feel, you know, you can change or tweak or whatever. Sometimes it can be very difficult just dealing with other egos, you know. And when the budgets aren't huge and, you know, it can be, that can be stressful. So it takes a certain kind of stress away to be suddenly making all the decisions creatively. But going back like 25 years where the budgets would have been pretty huge, right? Yeah.

There was a good loads of money around, stupid money around at that time. Why is it different now? Don't know. They're all making their money. They demand more of you now than they did before. No, they did their best year ever in the music industry last year. Really?

Yeah. You know, they've worked out a lot of stuff in the last few years, so it is a very healthy industry financially now, whereas it did look a bit iffy for a few years. But do you feel freer now? Were you told what to do? Never. I can't imagine that you were actually

god no I mean I don't know whether I've always been a bit intimidating bearing in mind that I lived alone you know I've got my own flat when I was just turning 16 so by the time I got to London at 19 and was signing a deal I obviously had a little bit of sense of myself already at that point you're very independent if you that's you're kind of on my my gravestone that if she was independent so your family moved away from Stockport you stayed in Stockport was there anybody there friends friends just friends I did have some family knocking around but it was not really where did you live did you stay in the house that they'd rented or bought? No, I stayed with a friend to start with and his mum until I was able to go into my own flat.

And a lovely little flat, lovely place. And where were your mum and dad? My mum went back to Ireland and my dad went off about his business for a bit. But they're real characters, my parents. Are they? They're amazing people people is your mum still around my mum's around my dad's around yeah where she lives in Ireland yeah back where she started yes yeah back in Ireland and what was growing up like the because this is about food kind of yeah what was on the dinner table? And who did the cooking? God, I love Irish.

Well, I mean, I kind of remember bad foods coming into our world, you know. I remember the first time I saw, you know, frozen pizza, the first time I saw Alphabites, all those kind of things that you love when you're a kid that you get out of the supermarket and what have you. But my mother always did a dinner dinner. that's what she calls it a real dinner dinner you know we were well fed and we were meat and vegetables yes yeah we were very well fed

kids i think did you like her food yeah she's a very good cook she's skillful tender kind of cook yeah what's yeah her best dish best dishes for me personally i love the stew irish stew does does it for me i also love the irish of the irish dishes of bacon and cabbage i love bacon simply lovely oh god yeah they have it everywhere don't they it's not just well it has to be done right, you know. Yeah, I know. It really does. I ordered it in a pub in Cricklewood not long ago, and I was like, what is this?

How do you do it right? What's the secret? Long time boiling. Or washing it as well. You have to wash the salt off it. So there's a certain way of washing it. You have to wash it over and over again before you actually cook it. And then boils a long long time it's a big massive lump and then

the cabbage has to be boiled in on top of the actual dish so you cook it you cook it with the on top of the dish the juices and everything go into the cabbage. And then the ideal potato with it is a very flowery potato. You know, we have a Newcastle Queen's fabulous potato. You can't get it here. It's like, just explodes, you know. It's powdery almost. Oh, yeah. Very nice.

Do you make this? No, my Auntie Linda's the one for that. But your partner is Italian? He is. And he does the cooking? He's the man for that. Auntie Linda. But your partner is Italian. He is. And he does the cooking. He's the man for the cooking, yeah. How lucky are you? I know.

You really... Is it butter? Yeah, well done. Yeah. What's his dish? He's from Milan, right? So, you know, a lot of sort of kind of what you would think of as Italian cooking is not what he does. You know, he doesn't do.

I mean, they use a lot of butter, for example, in northern Italy. And he does cuttoletta milanese, which is like a very flattened. Like a schnitzel? Like schnitzel. Real schnitzel. Real milanese. But nicer than schnitzel, I think. So what does he do with his breadcrumbs, like the topping?

Well, he buys the breadcrumbs. Yeah. And it's really about how long he beats his meat, if you know what I mean. Oh, wow. That's what she said. He's a lovely big Italian man. He can often be found beating his meat in my kitchen. An Italian beating his meat. Oh, he's a lovely big Italian man. He can often be found beating his meat in my kitchen. An Italian beating his meat.

Oh, he's a lovely big fella as well. He's over six foot tall. Is he a musician? Yeah, well, I met him in the studio as a producer. Oh, he's a producer. Have you ever worked together? That's how I met him, yeah, working with him. So he wasn't in a separate studio and you kind of were making tea in the canteen.

Yeah, I had no idea, but apparently he had fallen in love with me. When I left the studio, he says to everyone, I want to marry her, I want to marry her. How exciting! We got to send her some flowers and all this. How long ago was that? That's coming up eight years, I think.

He sent you flowers? No, they wouldn't let him send me flowers. They said he looked like an idiot. So anyway, I saw him a couple of weeks later and I was feeling fairly frisky. I had been very focused in the studio and he's quite shy, so he was sitting in the corner. Did you fancy him when you saw him?

I saw him standing up. He was six foot two. I was like, I've not seen him even standing up, you know. Ciao bello. Oh, is that? Is that? Ciao bello.

Ciao bello. Is that? No, absolutely. Did the song turn out well? Beautiful song, yeah. Did it make it onto any of the records? Yeah, no, onto their record. It's Lucassi and Briganti.

That's the name of the two guys. And what kind of music is it uh to say well it's was his house the track i guess but it's kind of a balearic house great so would that be your first dance if you're ever going to get married you're not gonna get married the man even if he was dipped in gold i wouldn't marry him why no way to sign a piece of paper. I'm yours. Take me. It's like

a contract. Do I need to have a contract with him? Would you have a good party though? I'm a bit adverse to contracts of any kind. That's why you do everything yourself. I don't like them. Is that because you've had a bad contract? A situation with a bad contract?

No, I've never been married and I don't think I'll ever get married. I mean, my parents were, you know, they were stunningly beautiful. They had everything going for them. They were really funny. They were just very, as a child looking up at them, they were like, I was really in love with my parents, you know. And they split up terribly. So my mother in love with my parents, you know, and they split up terribly.

So my mother has always said ever since, you know, once you get the ring on your finger, that's when it all goes downhill. You know, I just was like, looks at my ring. Right. And also, I don't really want to be joined together in the eyes of the Lord. Are you not? You're not religious? No. And we were like pretty much brought up to go the other way really are you your family

aren't cleavers no not at all i mean i used to go to a very catholic school priest or anything not at all you must be joking i used to go to catholic school obviously there wasn't any other option in ireland you just just went to Catholic school then anyway. And one of the teachers used to come around every Monday and she'd say, right, everyone put their hands up who was in mass yesterday.

And I would always, of course, put my hand up and she'd go, Roisin Murphy, what was the sermon about then? And I'd go, sorry, I wasn't actually there, you know.

Oh, Roisin! And then I'd get in trouble. trouble i'd say to her but my parents don't go to church it doesn't matter you're still in trouble we expect every child that goes to this school to go no it's a normal we're a very sort of um gail talk school it was very into irish games and irish language and and all this actually they were more that way than they were kind of religious actually no no that's another thing I let them all down with so dyslexic I was hugely dyslexic in school my daughter's dyslexic as well it's hard tricky yeah so many creators are dyslexic aren't they oh yeah well I um i'm actually really hungry and so is roshi i'm gonna put the i'm gonna put the chips on have you not put the chips in yet jesus are you mad

you i i saw that in a it was actually probably the same interview that you said about your husband um i mean no you'll be a partner sorry sorry about when you played in a gay club well it wasn't a gay club but when you realized you had a massive gay following you felt like you'd kind of arrived home yeah this change in the Parisian crowd really was the one that were you just like was it like you were really with Moloko really trendy kind of and you had loads of head nodding kind of pitchfork listening well that's it you know we did have that kind of that 90s we started in the 90s things were you know actually quite serious in the 90s even though you know people had a lot of fun and all that but people were very sort of like it was all well there was

the grunge in the 90s and then there was like the yeah come from musical background sheffield but there was all that kind of warp thing in the electronic music. And then there was trip-hop, which was also quite serious, really, in the main. And we were supposed to fit into that world, the trip-hop world, when we came out. And it just meant loads of lads with baggy trousers and maybe they skated down there on their skateboard

and stuff like that. Their head nodding, and I was a freak of a performer. When did you move to Sheffield then? Moved to Sheffield when I was, I think, 17 or 18, 18. You deserted the red rose for the white rose. I did. Well, gee, it was a great move for me as well. I was lucky with the places I went to.

Did you meet Richard Hawley? Yeah, yeah, Richard we'd see all the time. Most of my friends that I've told of, you're here, my gay friends who are kind of, I just remember that, like, yeah, they adore you, amongst other people as well. I did this gig in Paris. Most of the gigs in Paris were the worst kind of like head nodders yeah

honestly up to a certain point and then some point kind of when I went solo they don't let rip they don't lose control it's a bit boring

it's very contained take themselves a bit shy boys basically shy lads oh really you know aye bless them

but yeah but it doesn't make a good gig vibe does it and then one time I just turned up and it was wall to wall solid just lads with their tops off hanging out the ceiling I'm Rosie

I want you wearing now and all that sort of stuff well yeah your outfits are you are so stylish. It's insane. I'm really scruffed today. You can't be as scruffy as me. I've literally been trying to get rid of. We're as scruffy as each other.

Okay, well, I don't know. I was about to have a shower and I didn't even do a shower. So I'm really sorry. You haven't had a shower all day. I don't believe. I was supposed to do it to spruce myself up. I was actually going to make a real effort for Roisin because I know how stylish she is. I don't believe in I was supposed to do it to spruce myself up. I was actually going to make a real effort for Roisin because I know how stylish she is.

Look at her. I don't believe in showers every day anyway, myself personally. Okay, perfect. I'm telling you, it washes away the natural oils out of your skin. You want to stay young. You do look young. Don't bath yourself too often. Yes, she is young.

Okay, well, I'm really glad that I was thinking of you. And your hair's beautiful. It's a lovely cut. Oh, thank you. Yeah, it looks gorgeous. Oh, thanks. I'm glad you got your mummy. She's a lovely cut. Oh, thank you. Yeah, it looks gorgeous. Oh, thanks. Oh, I'm glad you got your mum in. She's making me feel fab.

But with the clothes, because there's quite, I mean, they're outfits. They're outfits. Do you wear costumes? Are they costumes? They're just the Met Ball. Oh, my God. Did you see that? Jesus.

Lord have mercy. But they really went to town on the costumes. It put me off clothes, if I'm honest. I did this Met thing a few years ago. Who invited you? Marnie. I went as a guest of Marnie. I love Marnie.

Yeah, nice bit of schmatter. What did you wear? Well, I wore a nice bit of schmatter. No, I had... What was the thing? I can't remember what the bloody theme was i'll tell you what's interesting but no it's not even but the thing what happened there was i didn't even do the red carpet they put me with the guy who's the son of the guy who

owns diesel because they own marnie like they own lots and lots of things so i went with this really super nice italian guy very, very shy. And we arrived at the red carpet and there is a queue a mile long. And it's not an ordinary queue. It's a queue with Beyonce and Rihanna and all these people queuing. Queuing. Even Beyonce and Rihanna? Yes, they queue around the corner.

You can't see it when you see the pictures and everything. You don't see the queue. This queue is insane. Oh, my God. queue who were you behind insane oh i don't know i think i could see beyonce from where where i was and i just thought it's taken an hour for people to get to actually be on the red carpet and i just thought what i just felt embarrassed i just felt like what do you get anything to point in me doing this. This is ridiculous. You're stylish. And the guy was like,

yeah, but nobody, do you know what I mean? You kind of apologise to the paparazzi. I'm sandwiched between the most famous people in the world,

you know, waiting for an hour, these people as well, to get on the carpet. Do they bring you a drink and a snack like they do when you're waiting

for the turkey at Christmas? They don't. Outside Moxon. And anyway, none of them people eat no snacks, let me tell you. So, yeah, I just said to your man, he looked absolutely horrified to be even standing there as well. Really, really shy. So I just said, let's just go straight in, you know. Can you go straight in?

Yeah, we went round the corner. But then you missed a red carpet. Didn't they want the photo of you in the outfit? But apparently it didn't yeah we went around but then you missed a red carpet didn't they want the photo of you in the outfit but apparently it wasn't didn't go down very well

this thing it looked like I'd snubbed it or whatever so oh holy god oh bloody hell who organises it but the thing is

we went inside all these people would wait for an hour to have the photograph taken an hour to have your photograph taken these people big famous people

I was when they got in there they went straight to the bathroom, all these people, to take pictures of themselves in the bathroom. Oh, my God. I took this amazing picture of myself, of me behind all these, like, everyone, like Poof Daddy and all these famous people. All taking pictures of themselves in the mirrors.

So did you enjoy the evening do they give you food was she yeah yeah we had a dinner we had a dinner but no one can eat because i've got those things it's not about enjoyment those things they're about that moment where you get your photograph taken where you get them you fuck and i just totally lost the moment so but I got a chance to bring my father to New York and he had never been to New York before so that really was brilliant so thank you Marnie for that What's your relationship like with social media

because obviously it wasn't there when you started but it's kind of it's a requirement now and there's a i mean for me i think there's like a beauty in it that you can be so connected with your fans but also it's like i don't know it can be a blessing and a curse i like i very much enjoy instagram do you yeah because i'm really visual so i also really like just going through it you don't go do you yeah because i'm really visual so i also really like just going through it you don't go do you get into those holes where you're like oh my god i can do yeah i can get into where do you find yourself at the end of the hole well you know say for example the other day i was just like

found this french painter who painted sort of regency sort of era silk dresses like wow to the point of like where you just felt like you could reach out and like eat the silk dresses they're so real and beautiful and um got really into that you know it can just lead me all sorts of different places yours isn't like i wonder what this person's doing now and like people it's more if you use it as a visual to you don't get sucked into mumfluencers and uh oh god no no no and there's all sorts of people on instagram that i absolutely love i mean there's a friend of mine called luke um unabomber who's in manchester actually and he does these incredible posts where he just talks into the camera and it's just amazing and the the other day I found, well, I've been following this guy, Johnny Smith, I think it is.

And he's like this lip syncer, but he lip syncs bits out of movies. And it's just incredible. This is an Instagram hole. Incredible what he does. It's like, it's not a song he's lip syncing. Well, it's just kind of like you get lost in the rabbit hole of instagram you kind of go from one person then you go instagram's the thing the the the sussexes announced the baby on it oh yeah i like that yeah i thought that and that was oh i think that's a disgrace and they'll put the they reckon they'll put the first pictures

up on Instagram because then they're in control. Yeah, yeah. And then no one's being paid and it's not in the papers. I mean, I like your Twitter that like you'll tweet Pete Tong and I'm sure he's your friend or maybe not, but you'll say, play my fucking record. Is that what you say?

I fucking love it. That was a repeat of something I said to him in the real world. Oh, really? It was just something I shouted at him years ago in Ibiza, to be honest. And I think he'd never forgot because he said it to someone just previous to when I actually text that. He said,

remember when she told me to play my fucking... Did he play your fucking record? Yeah, he had to. What are you talking about i was there like that do you know him now yeah well yeah i love not super well still a bit chancy saying something like that no but i like it it's gumption like i mean yeah you would play your record because you'd be petrified not to yes definitely if i'm standing there in your facet yeah you would definitely be playing my record so that was the that was the same day that um we went to another

club after that and i was so many sheets to the wind i see someone like a grandparent granddad with a baby that age and i was like look at the like, look at the beautiful baby. Look at the beautiful baby. And I took the baby off him and got on a table and started dancing with the baby. I mean, a mad woman.

And my friends were all around going, please, Roshan, just step down, step down with the baby. Please get off the table. Oh, my God. This is what happened in Ibiza in the sort of 2000 where are some of the spots did you was fish shack around when you were

in ibiza yeah yeah oh sorry sorry lovely place yeah um where were the food spots that you like to eat oh god you're asking me these questions i'm not really the memory what's the name of the machines of food eating i am okay come on then where where i just have no memory this is the problem i have zero memory but you know macau oh i love macau is the place i don't know if it's so good as it used to be oh okay well I wouldn't know I know it from a few years back so Santa Gertrudis and it's in a lovely spot actually just there and it's lovely and I've had many

a good meal there and I've had many a good meal when it was in the port in Ibiza town as well so that's very nice and I there's some great sort of beach places as well very fresh fish and so on i what what are you cooking there oh it's just chips have you just done chips for me do all that fancy

stuff for other people you think i'm some kind of irish traveler or something let me please like chips and eggs so no basically i've done the chips because my mate nick who's one of the best cooks they're not even fried chips. You've got the chips in the oven. Oh, I'm so sorry. Would you have liked them fried? Fuck, I'm so sorry. So what we're having, if you would let me finish.

Thanks, Roshan. Well, I'm a bit embarrassed now because it's kind of Italian. Mum, you said to do the fucking chips, actually. I was like, maybe we should do a truffled celeriac. Would that have suited you better? No, it's tagliata, which is an Italian. So it's basically steak, but you chop it. Tagliata means cut, I think.

We do that now. Okay, so, and you do it kind of in the pan and then you put garlic and rosemary and lemon juice. And you chop it and you pour all the juices on the top. I think you'll like it. So Jessie said, I'll do mashed potato. I said, no, I didn't say mashed potato. You said celeriac.

Celeriac, truffled celeriac. Because I wanted to make an effort. And then my friend Nick does these chips that are amazing. So he gave me the recipe. I was like, fucking chips. So I've got these Cypress potatoes. And I tried them out yesterday on my daughter and they didn't work. So I mean, how much can it chip?

Oh, it sounds lovely. Anyway, they're fucking chips. And I'm really sorry sorry and it's a green salad and then I've done and then I've done a really come down with me um pudding thanks to Al sorry we were like I was fretting about what to make it's a rhubarb fool and I'm gonna crumble a bit of ginger snap on the top I'm cringing as I speak and I've've tried two different ones. Piss off, Mum. Machine's a design icon here. No, I am a rhubarb fool. That's exactly what I am.

I am cringing, but I hope it tastes nice. How about this for foodie? Come on. I've been a couple of times to a place in Chelsea called the London Cheese Cellar or something,

the London Cheese Company. something the London cheese company yeah and he has a place upstairs and he does these do he does these cheese nights cheese love and wine and actually ailed as well I've got cheese and he'll put he puts like massive them those different sort of flavors of cheese on the plate and he does like a chat about each cheese and where it's coming from and everything. I love that. Oh mate it's absolutely brilliant. And you have different wines with the cheeses. Yeah he gives you the different wines with the different cheese. I would give that as a present I think. Yeah I'd love that. Next week for someone. I cannot recommend it highly enough. Right mum, it should have been slightly longer, it looks bad, the reason it wasn't we're gonna have really rare meat is because the fire alarm was going off every second so I hope

you like rare meat Roisin, I love it a bit bloody in that meal, and if not we can just have another bottle of wine, oh sorry Roisin's now not only has fed my daughter, she's now feeding my son a bottle. So yeah, we've really put you to work. Should we breastfeed him? Yeah, do you want to breastfeed him too? I am feeling twinges. I'll take him off you so you can help yourself too.

Hold on a minute, I'll get some. I might steal this child, I really might. Do you prefer slightly better done than? No, no I like it raw. Okay. Yeah No, no, I like it raw. Okay. Oh, baby, I like it raw. It should have been a bit longer, darling. I like it raw. What would be your desert island meal?

If you're going on a desert island for six months, do they let you choose what you'd like to eat before you went? Oh, God. I mean, I've had some fancy meals in my day and and and they don't stay with me it's the kind of home cook stuff that really stays with me it would be probably my mother's cooking it would be I tell you it's because a couple of things have made me cry before actually the one meal that really made me cry was i was going out with a very posh guy at one time super posh his mother was like gentry and what have you and he

knew all these like country people you know wilkshire and all this type of places and we used to go up to these country places and we went to see some friends and they had a farm, a fabulous house and then she pulled the potato out of the ground and she put it cleaned it off and she put it straight into the agar, yeah, left it there for I don't know how long, a long time

and she had her own homemade chilli and she put that on top of the potato the potato made me cry and I'm Irish. I was crying tears. Because it was delicious. It was unbelievable. Like straight out of the auger.

Straight out of the ground, into the auger. Straight into my gob. The best baked potato you've ever had. It was the best potato. And this is an Irish person. I've had some potatoes. I'm actually feeling up even thinking about starting to cry. I love baked potatoes

it was something unnaturally beautiful I completely understand I mean I would love to have experienced the agar baked potato from the ground but I love the baked potato I mean potatoes I know I'm a paddy and everything it's not

because I'm a paddy but it is the greatest meat it's the greatest food of all time. It's unbelievable. I wouldn't say these were the best chips I've ever eaten. I could have done them. No, I'm fine. They're all right. They're Moorish, they're fine. The Cypress potato, he says, is very important.

I think maybe the oven thing with the chip is not. So you're a fryer. A chip is fried. Do you fry chips? Have you got a fryer at your house? No, we haven't, but we have like, I think we do it in a wok. With what oil? Sunflower? Vegetable? I don't know what it uses. So you don't cook?

No. At all? Eggs. Come on then. Jesus! Eggs, I'm an egg woman. Okay, so how do you like your eggs? I love an egg. Me too. I mean, really really eggs is the best i give eggs to the children almost every morning i'm porridge i cook the porridge and i cook the

eggs eggs and porridge so they have a starter sometimes broda asks for the egg after the porridge yeah it's fair enough porridge doesn't fill me up we had this chat with nigella she has poached eggs in the morning, every morning. And she said, I'm not a porridge person. It doesn't fill me up. After an hour, it's gone. They say it's supposed to be slow release. Bullshit. I'm starving.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm starving. Hang on a minute. I'm not having this. It is slow release. I think I get more full up on an egg. Poached egg. The energy you get from an egg is unbelievable.

We were brought up with boiled eggs. I had a boiled egg every single morning of my life okay so your egg of choice is a boiled egg yeah i mean it's a classic no i love the boiled i love that how many minutes three three once it starts three once it starts boiling absolutely three from the boil three from the boil. I'm with you there, is she? Three from the boil. And not a digital three. No, no, no. Never on the digital clock. Always look at the clock because you want to just be able to have a little bit of give

either side, you know. So, do you put it in when it's cold? Would you? No, boiling. No, put it in the cold and then let the boil come up and then go from the boil three minutes. Yeah, me too. Okay, so I had this conversation at 30th. There is no conversation.

There's no conversation to have. That's exactly how you cook a boiled egg. That's how I do it. I cannot. If you put it into the boiling water, the egg cracks. That's why I always do. I'm an idiot.

I love scrambled eggs too. I love to make scrambled eggs. Me too. Do you like them wet or dry? Wet. I like them wet. Me too. And I like the way my partner has shown me to do them

with bits of cheese triangles in them. That's nice. So we tried that. Soft cheese. Yeah, you just break it up. Just break it up like dairy. Or what a laughing cow we do in Ireland. The other thing I learned about scrambled eggs was

if you melt a knob of butter and whip whip it into the scrambled eggs that makes it them 10 times nicer yeah oh before because i was before you cook them yeah okay i love eggs i did a video where i was more or less kind of making love to an egg really what's the song exploitation exploitation are you actually joking no you've got a song called exploitation yeah exploitation or eggs what happens this one it's off of hairless toys okay so quite recent i did like a skit on a thing that faye dunaway did like an advertisement she did for a Japanese, I think it was Japanese, store, like a, you know, like a Debitums or whatever. And it's like some crazy artist made this advert. And she's just sat in a

black room and she's got a boiled egg and she studies the boiled egg. She looks at the boiled egg. She's there at a table. then she breaks it and then she starts to peel the egg in front of you and then she starts to eat it and she does it all in the most delicately wonderful way yeah i'm not delicate how were you were you delicate i was pretty delicate considering i'm not delicate at all that's it's a proud moment that did you direct this one yeah so you're inspired by everything. Mostly boiled eggs, but yeah. If it doesn't, that's all I'm looking for is inspiration all my life.

That's all I want. I just want to find that. I mean, I find it everywhere. I find it just looking at buildings half built or fellas going around in their construction gear or everywhere. Everywhere. It's just, that's what I mean. It's like, it's just beside you. What's brilliant is just there waiting to be seen and understood and you know ripped off it's just there i mean i learned about basically robin brought over out of video and apparently there was a tweet by you referred to the fact

that potentially she had ripped off your video job I was like if you want me to like do your video I'll do it like we'd be better than this because it wouldn't be trying to be like my video because I I love Robin and I don't know whether you know much about... I think she's fantastic, I really do. Yeah. But, you know, you have been quite a pioneer for a lot of women, including myself, like, inspiration to women in...

This cuts it down to not... It's not just dance... Electronic music. Electronic music, but strong visual and... Modern type. Yeah, and, like, there's visual and... Modern type. Yeah, and, like, there's a futuristic, like, futurism about you. And, like, I mean, I loved the robots and, you know, all the kind of overpower... It felt otherworldly and it felt so exciting.

And, yeah, there was this tweet that went out. That's not at all a diss of Robin. It's more like, you know, there really are... We live in a world now where everything is a reference and I'm just as bad at that as anybody else, obviously.

Because it's anything original. I really like to reference things. It's anything original. I love the fact that we can, no, no, never, actually.

Maybe occasionally, maybe occasionally there is this like thing that's, and that's through history that's like, wow, you know, how did you that's like, wow, you know, how did you come up with MC squared?

But then people will. That's original thought. People will imitate that, won't they? Because, even because they love it. I think there's imitating with like a good sense. And then there's just like walking into a place, say people making videos or whatever, and pictures being on the wall behind them.

Of other people. Of something that came out a month ago, you know. And that's different. I'm sorry, but that's really kind of, that's cynical. Yeah. That's nothing to do with her because she's obviously not someone who's as involved as I am in these things. It was a director. It's more of a kind of just thinking about the way things are these days.

And, you know, I've got another really good friend who directed a a film recently called northern soul she's called elaine constantine i didn't see it but it sounded amazing it's fantastic and she directed a video for me years ago familiar feeling and she's got all these stories to tell about people that she's become in contact with that are people who she knew actually from this northern soul scene who were called in after they did this video for me this is not me saying it's my idea or anything this was elaine's thing and elaine's world that she grew up in that she lived through that she's passionate passionate passionate about like it's her blood yeah and all these dancers and things that were worked on my video and so on they've been called in for

these other projects then after this and they would have like elaine's pictures all behind you know and the thing is is that there's a difference between the artists also who who who say the creative or the artist that will be like that and will say i was really influenced by x y or z i love x y i love x y or z i'm really a pre i'm not fantastic and then there are the people who deliberately and it's true and it's sad but it's true and i'm not one of them never right if i'm influenced by something you're all going to hear about it yeah but there are people who absolutely deliberately don't say it don't ever mention the name of the thing that they lifted that they lifted robin apologize no it's not about her apologizing say anything

no she didn't say anything she didn't as far as i know i would have said. I think what I was kind of wondering is maybe you could throw a video my way because I'm starting to direct for other people. I could direct something for you. I'll call you Roisin. That is original, you know, that's not like just completely a new idea. So, yeah. No, I completely. Because for me, because I'm the type of person that's always looking for something that's going to, you know,

I live a life where I'm just genuinely always looking for the inspiration for the thing I don't even know what I'm going to make. I don't know what I'm going to do, whether it'll be a video for someone or it'll be a piece of music or whatever the hell it's going to be, a pair of glasses or whatever I'm going to make. I'm always always my eyes are just super open and my ears are really open and that's how I am.

Listen, I apologise. This has so come down with me. I want to cry. Oh, I love it. No, it's really come down with me. I don't know if you can get inspiration from this for... Rebarb? I can't speak now. Mate, it's the wine. Look, I'm not a pudding person.

Mum was working all day. I feel like you've been given the short straw. I'm going to be honest. This is not... It's... You're eating it, though. I did anything. Oh, okay.

Well, you know what? And that is why I leave desserts to mum listen I'm blaming Alice she told me to do it it is come down with me you don't have to eat

all of it it's very come down with me isn't it I want to cry but maybe that's kind of retro now no you're not finding inspiration

you're not going to do a video of you with a rhubarb how do you like it look I quite like it because I love cream but

look it is it's not beautiful. It's not visually aesthetic. I'm really sorry. And I'm blaming my nightly close one. I do, yeah, normally. Well, just finish your glass of wine. You're mad as a lovely robot.

Piss off, Roisin. No. Look, you're eating it. You're fucking eating it. So there you go. I really like it. It's not great. You should have done the pudding.

It's a bit babby-ish, isn't it? A little bit baby sort of food. Yeah, like his first weaning food. Give it to the child, you might sure. I said to you. I said to you I'd do a pudding. Mum, you said that you couldn't because you were working. I could have done it this morning.

Listen, I've got some cheese for you if you prefer that. No, but I like this. I think you're being harsh. It's nice. I think this is all right. It's like you could have it for breakfast or something. It's not versatile like the egg, Roisin. I think the problem is it doesn't have enough texture.

It could have done with a bit more crunch in it. I'll give you another stem ginger biscuit now. If I can redeem myself, please. No, I'm not a pudding person. I only know how to stew through. Okay, all right. Okay, hold on a minute. Do you cook every evening?

Yeah, somebody cooks every evening in the house. Not me. But you prefer home-cooked meals than going out i love going out i love going to restaurants another restaurant that i really like is called asaji in in notting hill and it's a really old-fashioned family-run italian restaurant it's you can't see it from the ground you have to go up some steps sounds great up upstairs and they do great things like livers and sort of all sorts of very kind of classic italian do you um family food you know i i really like saint john here as well on the side i like that the the food that uses all the different bits of the animal and doesn't have feel like massive wastage and so are you going to order the offal yeah yeah yeah the only thing i i

will eat absolutely anything apart from my fucking food the only thing apart from your fucking food the only thing that i have not eaten that it's a good story actually, I was in Paris one day and went to this fancy restaurant. I said, this is a sausage rye to the waiter. And he said, yes, it's andouillette, it's a speciality. I said, okay, I'll have that. He says, are you sure you really want that? I started laughing and I said, I will eat anything. Just bring it, just bring it to

me like now and he's chuckling away at me laughing away at me i'm thinking you can laugh all your life i'll eat anything nobody's ever stopped me eating anything and it's a fucking sausage right so you're thinking bring it on so out he comes he's laughing when he comes out with the fucking fucking sausages. Big, lovely big you know, your ideal sausage size, basically. Big one. And I looked at it and it looks fabulous, so get my knife and fork out, chop it in half. Slight

smell of sewerage somehow, I don't know. I think, okay, that's fine, it's probably just French. I'll eat anything. So, put it up in your mouth. Really smells of shit, right? Start chewing it. And really start feeling sick because it actually is like eating shit.

It actually is. Why? Let me tell you, when you cut into this particular andouillette sausage, it's not sausage meat inside. What is it? Shit. It's not sausage meat inside. What is it? Shit. It's innards. More folds of innards.

So it's just folds. So it's where the shit has passed through. It's all the pipes. Oh, shit. Like jammed into another pipe. Why the fuck do they serve it? Why would you, anyone, want to eat it? They like it.

Shit, no. They eat horses in France. I said this to my partner, and he's Italian. He's Northern Italian, not too far from France. And he said, yeah, it can be quite nice, the smell of shit. What? I was like, are you out of your tiny trip mind? Anyway, I started to go green, grey, and I really tried.

Did you finish it like the bush tucker trial? I'd made a big deal. I'd made a big deal. Aye, everything. And the man was laughing at me. I didn't want to laugh at me. He comes back over. I'm completely green, green, like, well, light green.

Yeah, mint green. That's the colour of my face. And the man comes over and he goes, you don't like it, do you? He's laughing. I'm going, no, no, actually, I just don't like it. Please take no actually i just don't like it please take it away he took it away and he gave me another dish for free because he found it also very very very would you eat snails yes to eat anything even shit well i tried to eat shit i did try my best i really tried and i think he really responded to that the old parisian um guy do

you think you've got good table manners not brilliant because sebi has got exceptionally good table manners comes from posh sort of milanese people so he's really well brought up that way so i get pointed things get pointed out what has been pointed out to you um you know elbows on the table. Oh, I don't mind. And while you're eating, it's not good. And, you know, farting at the table. Things like that. Are you strict with your children?

He's strict about those sorts of things. I'm not very strict. Because I don't even notice. I don't notice them. So I can't be strict about things I don't notice, honestly. So they fart away at the table and I'm like join your dinner I'm strict though I am strict I in the way that you're saying she is I think she's please and thank yous you like that I like please and thank yous you're

quite strict I'm quite strict too we ask every person what their uber rating is i don't know how do you find out oh my god this is the best when you don't know do you think you're gonna have a good i deserve more whatever it is right well but i happen to not have any idea she's gonna be high or how do you do it i'm gonna show you your little i'm on Uber Eats there. Tell you what, I've started spending so much money on delivery of food. 4.39. That's not high. That's not high, Roisin. What's the maximum?

I mean, you could be potentially the lowest. You and Russell Tovey. Do you know the actor Russell Tovey? Give it over. And it's because he rides with his dog. And the maximum he can get is five. Yeah. This is the story of my life.

It really is the story of my life, this. Are you a backseat driver? No, I'm a Marmite person. You know what I mean? You either, like, get it or you don't. Do you chat to the cabbies? I would say I do, yeah. Perhaps that's what's going on here.

One last question that I've got. You make brilliant electronic music, music like music for the clubs it kind of transcends beyond the clubs but like do you still have the energy for the clubs like occasionally i do yeah i'm afraid to say uh recently i went to i performed at berghain oh that's the dream oh the panorama bar Bar. I did a Panorama Bar, yeah. Was it lovely? Where's that done? In Berlin.

Oh, mate. Have you been in the actual club? No, I've been too scared that I would be turned away. No, but this is it. You see, what was nice is if you sing there, you don't get turned away, obviously.

I once had it booked and then we got a bigger capacity, so then we didn't do it. So it was great. But like, I really want to do the Panorama Bar. Oh, listen. That's like, right past this show as well. You know when there's always things with hype isn't there there's all things that get hyped but to me personally is the best club in the world it was great music

incredible it was like the whole way it's set up you know it's awful to get turned away and everything from the door and what have you but what happens is is that the door the door policy is not what the normal door policy is in say these places super clubs in ibiza and so on where it's like if you're very rich you definitely get in yeah the opposite of berghain it's like if you come down rock up like that no because studio 54 was actually about rich famous people as well okay okay it's more like it's more like um other clubs in new york at that time okay then paradise garage or something like that where it it's strict to maintain a certain feeling inside the club.

And the feeling inside the club is anything goes at all, anything at all. But you don't need to let anything go either. You can be whatever you want to be. You don't upset people who like want to do crazy stuff. And you don't even have to see them because they go into these other rooms and so on to do crazy stuff. That sounds weird. It's really really really brilliant and it's just a place where you're safe to be totally free sounds completely berlin it's very brilliant it's ultimately the most brilliant thing you know it's

it's really fabulous it's really fabulous no you're not coming to that it's very much that yeah and the gig was amazing and the gig was great what time did you play at i think about eight o'clock in the morning on sunday evening oh okay that sounds nice oh it was fabulous yeah i just wanted to know that because yeah i can occasionally but not like i used to no mean, there are things that I will go to. Like I might go and see Harvey play in the Ministry of Sound. Oh, he's so good. We've got sort of a great DJ allowed to play all night. He's such good fun, yeah.

On brilliant sound system. I've seen Harvey in artwork go back to back at like Pikes in Ibiza and it's just really good fun. Yeah, he's amazing. Things like that I go to. I feel like I want to go out on a night out with you, Roshim. Come on, let's do it. I don't think's do it able to keep up no you would you would I don't know we get drugs

this has been fantastic even though I will never make rhubarb fall again you have helped me look after my child this evening and you've been the best guest

and I love how transparent you've been and just it's just the best to meet you in real life when I love your music so much

and I love everything that you do and the fact that you're actually you're a riot as well thank you so much for doing this I'm not going to be able to get home am I because there's nobody I love everything that you do. And the fact that you're actually, you're a riot as well. Thank you so much for doing this. I'm not going to be able to get home, am I?

Because there's nobody going to pick me up. No. I'm in trouble. What do you think about that? I don't know what to think. How do you think about that? I don't know what to think, darling. How do you beat your mate? With a rolling pin. I'm not Italian. Fuck it, Elle.

The whirlwind that is Roisin Murphy just entered Dalston and then... Left. Left. Yeah. Mic drop. Rinsed my rhubarb. Yeah. I thought that was a bit slightly hard. Thanks for sticking up for me. I did say to her that. I. Yeah. Mic drop. Rinsed my rhubarb. Yeah. I thought that was a bit slightly harsh.

Thanks for sticking up for me. I did say to her that. I appreciate that. I thought she was going to give you a score. No, you know what? I've loved her for so long. The fact that I managed to have a conversation and asked anything and made her feed my child.

It's quite surreal surreal to be honest so um and i'm not going to stop thinking about the fact that my rhubarb fall she basically rinse no rinse beyond and i mean she said this is awful have you got good table manners this is awful and that won't be in the book she says i don't think much of this didn't she it was funny though well she was fabulous she was movie star fabulous darling i feel like i've been on a night out with roshan so i don't know if i can face a night night out with her out out out out with Out, out with Roisin. No. She'll have you in those Berlin clubs doing stuff in the off rooms.

Christ. What do they do in the other rooms? Oh, mum. There's holes and stuff. No, I don't even know about it. Thank you. Ropes. Thank you, Roisin Murphy,

for fulfilling all my... Expectations. Expectations and more, really. And being a real hoot. Thank you to Ginger Pig for supplying the delicious sirloin. That meat, honestly, was stunning. They never fail. They never fail.

I'm exhausted and my husband's about to go away for a week-long retreat. I've got your back, darling. We're going to be fine. Thanks, girl. Thank you so much for listening to Table Manners. Five stars. Subliminal. Advertising. Mum, you can be subliminal if you try. Okay, five stars, please. Thanks again, Mum, for staying with us for another series and threatening yet again to leave, but you are still here. Yeah. And I appreciate that thanks for sticking

up for me tonight harsh way harsh way harsh the music you've listened to on table manners is by peter duffy and pete fraser and table manners is edited by the wonderful alice williams