Table Manners with Jessie and Lennie Ware - S7 Ep 1: Heidi Regan - Live from the Edinburgh Festival Fringe

Episode Date: August 7, 2019

After a nervy ride up to Scotland with a sweaty savoury Cheesecake, hot off our book shoot, what better way to start our Edinburgh series with an award winning comedian and writer Heidi Regan to ease the pressure! We talk to the Australian Stand up about poaching eggs, surviving on microwave meals, misophonia and debate over a 'self-saucing' pudding. Shout out to previous table manners darling Joe Dempsie and his family for being fabulous co-hosts! X Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello and welcome to the first of our mini-series here up in Edinburgh Festival. We have three sold-out shows at the Gilded Balloon, which apparently is a massive deal. In the Bigion. In the Bigion? Yeah. What's that? That's what Billy Connolly, isn't it? That's what they used to call him, the Bigion. I love that you're comparing our three quite intimate shows to Billy Connolly, but yeah, cool. We are so excited to be here at Edinburgh Festival, so you can see us here in the beginning. I love that you're comparing our three quite intimate shows to Billy Colony but

yeah cool. We are so excited to be here at Edinburgh Festival so yeah this is oh okay and we are trying to be professional but I brought my daughter to work. No no no you've got to say something if you're going to go on the mic. Say hello Edinburgh. Don't bring your children to work especially when you're about to do the first live show that you've ever done at Edinburgh Festival. No pressure. So excited to be here. It is a real honour to be here, isn't it?

It's fantastic. I have to say I'm a bit nervous. I can't believe, Mum, the fact... What, darling? We just did our load-in, and we are currently prepping the table. The lights have gone down. We have sunflow prepping the table. The lights have gone down. We have sunflowers on the table.

Mum has schlepped a savoury cheesecake up from London. And it's all go. We're really excited. First up, we have Heidi Regan is coming to be our guest for brunch. We're doing brunch for the next three days in a row. Jessie, those donuts smell beyond. Yeah, I want to say thank you to 12 Triangles, the bakery in Edinburgh, because they've sorted us out of a tricky fix when we didn't have much time to, not that I was ever going to attempt to make a cinnamon roll or a donut, but these look incredible and everyone told

us to try them and we've got pistachio custard donuts cinnamon twist cinnamon twists um vegan ricotta and gooseberry oh what where's that one the ricotta and gooseberry is that one well thank you so so much 12 triangles for sorting us out because um mum did schlep a savory cheesecake up on the train but um yeah this has really helped us out of our first day in edinburgh because we got here late last night um we're so excited to be here we're so excited to have heidi regan coming up on our first show of the mini series edinburgh special this is table manners with jesse where and lenny Lenny. Hello!

Hi! Can you hear us? I'm sorry, my mum just got a much bigger round of applause than me. The Queen is here, don't worry. How are you all? Good. This is bizarre and quite hilarious that we are here at Edinburgh Fringe doing three sold-out shows. Sorry, I had to put in the sold-out because, you know, it makes me think that we're worthwhile.

But anyway, how are you, Mum? Do you think they came to hear you sing, darling? No, I fucking hope not. Or just hear us bicker? I don't know. Well, there was plenty of bickering, probably. We're trying to be really polite to each other. We just finished wrapping the cookbook that we're doing.

How many times do we fall out don't mum mum quit the book three times three times you you had the best it was best experience of your life wasn't it fabulous no you're lucky she's here because honestly she was like you just want to control everything forget it i'm not important to this there was a thing which will be in the book about gefilte fish gate I mean honestly my mum got so offended that that we had a food stylist we had prop stylist it was all apparently we were going for an aspirational ceramic I don't that was not in our mood board but whatever so mum threw her toys out the pram and was like what there's no color and then when they put I don't know do you know what gefilte fish is okay so it's like chopped and fried fried fish balls you have them at every Jewish function

sometimes they can be sweet some my grandma's ones were never sweet but they're delicious and you have them with this dip called crane which is beetroot and horseradish. And I thought, we haven't got beetroot and horseradish dip in the book, so we may as well, we always just eat it out of the jar. Fine, not out of the jar, but we buy it at Shopbought. And so I was like, yeah, it's accurate to put the jar in there. And mum missed this shot. And she walks in and she's like like why is the gefilte fish

in a jar? Grandma would not have that and I was like oh mum we've eaten the fish balls we can't shoot it again she got so angry everyone was quaking in their boots rang the agent she rang the agent we had to reshoot because she knew

how to get me she said grandma would be turning in her grave if she saw her balls with a jar of... No guilt. No guilt. Anyway, we are so happy to be here and slightly nervous. I'm not going to lie. I feel suddenly quite hot. Is it hot in here?

That's called nerves, Mum. Right. Yeah. You can take this off if you want. I'll take my jacket off. Take your jacket off. But yeah, we, I don't know, I'm wondering how many people listen to the podcast.

I presume quite a few. Thank you so much. Some people may think that I'm going to sing. I'm not singing. It's strictly about food and family. And everyone knows Lenny, so this is fantastic. I can see Hannah is right at the front, has worn a very, very colourful dress,

just so I wouldn't forget that she's right in the front, right looking at me, no pressure. This is my biggest fan in the world. How are you, Hannah? Not gonna lie, a bit embarrassed now. Oh, please. Hannah has bought tickets for the next two remaining shows, aren't you? Yeah, you have. Thanks so much for being here. And shows, aren't you? Yeah, you have.

Thanks so much for being here. And hi, how are you? What's your name? I felt like the clap. You wanted, should we chat? I'm Declan. Hi, Declan. Are you from around here?

Yeah, I'm from Edinburgh. Oh, my. How many are from Edinburgh around here? Wow. There's quite a lot. Where else are people from London? Belfast. Hold on.

One at a time. Glasgow, Belfast. Hold on. One at a time. Glasgow, Belfast. Aberdeen. Aberdeen, best accent ever. Where are you from? Oxford. I've never been to the Fringe before, so this is very exciting.

But have you bought lots of tickets for lots of things and then do you end up going to all of them or do you kind of like buy on a whim and then have a hangover from watching? I don't know. How does it work? Last year I won a 26 things. Oh, amazing. It's so much fun.

Oh, great. Amazing. I want to shout to all of you. I probably can't because we actually have somebody that's actually now. I'm going to have to embarrass you. Sorry, babes. Come on. Who's single? Okay, fine. I'm not going to embarrass you. Sorry, babes. Come on. Who's single? Okay, fine. I'm not going to embarrass you. We have the beloved Joe Dempsey in the front.

He's been on the podcast. He's been on the podcast. He's brought his family, so I'm not going to embarrass him too much. But how are you? Hungover. Why are you hungover? I'm using this, but I've got this. You know why I'm hungover. What did you go and see last night? I went to see a show called Aunty.

Anyone seeing Aunty? There was about six people. Was it good? Not many people have seen Aunty. Was it good? It was great. So people should go and see it. It's bonkers. Have a drink before you go. Why? It helps. Just trust me. And I went to see Alfie Brown. I don't know anything

about comedy. This is the worst thing. I'm so sorry. I'm so shit. Is he a comedian? He's a comedy. He's a comedy. He's a comedy one. A friend of mine is in a show called Square Go at Summer Hall.

There we go. Anyone seen that? Hold on a minute. My friend's doing the lights for that show. Oh, nice. Great. Okay, great. Amazing lights.

There you go. This is like family. It's like family. I know. Oh, gwych! Gwych! Iawn, gwych! Lai sylweddol. Dyma ni. Felly... Mae'n ymdrin â'r teulu. Mae'n ymdrin â'r teulu, rwy'n gwybod. Mae'n hynod o ddiddorol. Jessie, allaf i ddweud rhywbeth? Ie.

Jessie, roedd jysd yn rhoi perffiwm arno, yn ystod ein bod yn dod i fyny. Rwy'n gwybod, rwy'n sori iawn. Mae'n gyflym iawn, pwysig. Ac mae'r donwtiau hyn yn ystod y donwtiau sylweddol mwyaf. Ac rwy'n credu bod y dynion yn y cynulleidfa. 12 trianglau. A ydych chi wedi clywed am y bwyd? the most sensational scented donuts. And I believe the lady's in the audience. Oh, 12 Triangles. Have you heard about this bakery? Where is she?

Is the lady here? Is the baker here? Hi. Oh, wow. Where are you? Where? Hi. Thank you so much for doing this.

Basically, we had a bit of a nightmare. They had a terrible train journey down and you've saved the day. But yes, so mum, I don't know how this is going to work but basically this is from the cookbook actually from the shoot um you can see there are this is a savory cheesecake and and it's delicious but mum has schlepped it on the train here on the really sweaty train there, I'm really excited about that one. So thanks, 12 Triangles, for the baked goods. Now, we have on today,

Fabulous Woman. She has her own show going on at the moment for a whole month. She's doing, she's not taking any day, no days off. I don't understand how they do it.

Her name is Heidi Regan. And I'd love to introduce her to the stage. Everyone give her a round of applause. Hi. Oh shit, you go in the middle, yeah. No, you go in the middle. Everyone see you. Heidi, how are you?

I'm very good, thank you. It was very good prep for the show, watching you tell Jessie off about the perfume. That kind of really got me in the... Thank you. I am really sorry, though. It's like, have you seen, is it Anchorman, where they have, like, Sex Panther? It's really strong, and I'm really sorry I did it just before we got on out of nerves,

because I wanted to smell nice for you, but actually I'm really sorry, and it's ruined the cheesecake and the baked goods, so yeah. No, I couldn't smell, but it was just very fun watching. The dynamic. It was very relaxing. Does it remind you of yours? Do you want a drink, darling?

Yes. Oh, yeah, go for it. So what's your family dynamic? Where did you grow up? How many of you? So I grew up in Australia. My mum is English, but moved there when she was 12. Okay.

Is there some slapstick going on? No, I don't know. No, I'm slightly worried we're going to take someone's eye out because it hasn't been in the fridge for ages. Okay. Yeah, there's me and my elder brother. Grew up, mum and dad, and I moved to London about 11 years ago. Okay.

So, yeah, and my brother lives in Inverness. Oh, okay. Lived in Aberdeen for seven years, now Inverness for five years. Is this your second Edinburgh? Yes. And like last year? Yeah, second full hour Edinburgh. Okay, so how many years have you been doing Edinburgh? I've done just three. Expert.

Sorry, Heidi, do you drink by the way? I do drink. Would you like a bit of, would you like a peach bellini? A bellini? Yes. Okay, great. Not sure I know what that is. Peach juice and Prosecco. I kind of made the connection. You can have one or the other.

I'll have both, thanks. What was it like growing up in Australia? Yeah, lovely. I grew up in a town called Newcastle, just north of Sydney. It's like a beach town. Oh, nice. Yeah, really lovely. And was the food amazing?

I'm a very basic food person. Okay. So I don't think that we ate particularly fancy, but as soon as I moved to the UK and mum began her campaign to entice me back, she kept pointing out how salads were amazing in Australia and not here. They are. And I was like, you know, I don't really eat salad.

But now she's kind of made me focus on when I go back and like took my girlfriend back in April and we were kind of like going, oh, in the cafes, you get fed amazingly. The food is insane. I was eating everywhere and the produce is good. And I understand why your mum is saying that. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I thought she was just trying to trick me into it. But yeah, it's lovely. So what did you grow up eating at the table? What was her main meal that you would eat? Well, mum, who's going to find out I'm on this and listen, so if I really... Was she a good cook? Well...

She cooks well, like very healthy. And she tells me often how bad a cook I am, which I confirm, I'm a very bad cook. But we debate how flavourful her food is, because I like kind of, well, I used to like quite spicy stuff. And then mum would make like a curry and go, oh, this one's really hot. And I'd be like, I can't taste the thing. But yeah, she was very much, or mum and dad both, we would have meat and veg, that kind of thing. And then like chilli con carne. And the one thing we did different was a Christmas lunch.

We would have like the roast, English roast, because mum was English, rather than on a 35 degree day. Would you do it on the barbecue? No, not really. Just do it inside. Okay. But have a breeze or air conditioning. So, yeah, you're fine.

But, yeah. And so you're not a great cook. I am, no. What's your go-to dish? My go-to? It's so bad. I was a bit nervous coming on here. Oh, no.

But when I have the time to cook, I can do it if I have a recipe. But I have this really weird thing. I think because of comedy and doing it in my spare time for the last like 15 years I view all cooking or chores as like time where I haven't learned anything or haven't written anything it's weird and I know it's stupid and at the end of cooking I'm like well I ate it now so where's even the legacy of that I agree yeah very like really obsessed with the future that's why you take a photo and put it on Instagram yeah yeah yeah so no I feel like when I cook I kind of resent the time it's why you take a photo and put it on instagram yeah yeah yeah so no i feel like when i cook i kind of resent the time it's taken from my life and but then it means like yesterday

i like especially at the fringe you're like i got a microwave meal and i ate it i was like oh my oh this is so bland i was just like this is just fuel this is just fuel it's like it's a depressing way to live and i'm very aware of it. You've got a whole month of microwavable milk. It's not going to change. The one thing I'm into right now is poached eggs in the morning, and I've been trying to perfect that this morning. They went bad. I knew I was coming on this.

I was like, I better not have Weetabix and Allbrand, which is my other go-to. But, yeah, I did flop one of them, and it burst. I flop poached eggs all the time, and I know there's so many different methods. Do you put vinegar in yours? Yes, usually, but not the house or anything. Do you stir it?

What do you do with the second one? You just let it join and go like this. Also, it won't be in the middle of the stir. I'm a greedy cow, I'll eat them however they go. I've been doing also putting the ladle in and then you crack it into the ladle.

Oh, you're being really proper. Well, I mean, I literally cook nothing else, so I've got a lot of focus on these eggs. Perfecting her technique. Yeah, yeah. Another thing that my girlfriend taught me is put marmite on the bagel. It's the best.

Oh, yeah. It's the best. And not Vegemite? No. I have also been swayed to Marmite. You've gone to the other side. Yeah. But now when I'm back, I'm like, Vegemite's not as good.

It doesn't taste as salty. Something, like I love my salt, but I prefer Marmite. I think it's just not as strong or bitter or something. Well, I'm checking the time because I'm like, cheers. I've been doing intermittent fasting. Cheers. Thank you so much for coming on. Can you eat now, Jessie? Well, yeah. I don't know if I'm like, cheers. I've been doing intermittent fasting. Cheers. Thank you so much for coming on. Can you eat now, Jessie?

Well, yeah. I don't know. I don't know if I'm doing it the right way. I break my fast on a bellini, but yeah, I'm kind of... Love a fad. No, actually, I don't think it's a fad. Yeah. When I started stand-up, it's the only time in my life

I've lost weight without trying and I think it was the fasting thing because I was suddenly I would be at work and then have a gig at eight o'clock and I was so nervous that I would I'd have like one piece of toast at 4 p.m or 5 p.m or eat a full meal at 5 but no food after that and then you're not having the food until morning and I think it was all the fasting because I dropped all this weight without trying but then I've also realized it started to come back on I think adrenaline may have been a factor because now I'm not as nervous when I do a gig so now I don't have that terror but I'm gaining the weight back and I don't know which one if I'd rather be utterly shit scared every night

and thinner but yeah but fasting I, was a big thing of it. Do you think you've got good table manners? I think I don't have good table posture. I think my big thing that drives me insane is chewing mouth open, because I've got that misophonia, self-diagnosed misophonia. What is it? What's that? It's the... Have other people got it?

Like, where you, like, any chewing noise... Oh, it makes you feel sick? It makes me, like, go to a level of rage I've never... So having a microphone whilst I'm going to crack on with a juicy... There's certain foods that are fine. It's specifically things like apples. My friend has that, yeah. Yeah, yeah, apples and crisps. And my dad has it too and we have an understanding that if

one of us comes in with like cereal and sees the other person in the room they immediately walk out because it's like i will not put you through this it's and it's called misophonia it's i say it like i've been diagnosed i think no one is dying you just go do you go insane if you hear apples you have misophonia or weird things like uh heels clicking on the street do you get that as well yeah i have to like stop and let them walk around me while i just sit there going you're a bad person you're really bad person i don't say it but i'll really show it in my life that's amazing and you're you're looking at me eli yes well do you have this then, this misophobia thing? Would you like me to diagnose you?

It's a combination of misophonia and sensory processing disorder. My ears and my brain don't process things, right? So when I hear specific noises, my brain just short-circuits with rage. Yeah, it's so weird. I'm not generally an angry person. And then my girlfriend is really nervous about it because she's eaten an apple in front of me and I've been like

it's fine and she says the day you can't handle that is the day I know you don't love me anymore. I'm like probably because you ate an apple right next to me. I think this is like the worst podcast you could have ever got on. The noises are not loud on the podcast so I did check, don't worry.

Oh, don't you worry. I had a job for seven years where I had to listen to radio for eight hours a day, like morning radio and write what they were saying. And there was this one morning show host in Australia,

Ray Hadley, I will name and shame him. He would just go... into the microphone. I'm so sorry I just did that to you. I'm so out of the frame. It was horrific. And I would have to rewind to hear what word he'd said.

So it was like torture for two years. I hated it. That's a table manner in somebody else that you don't like. Oh, and if I catch myself doing it, I feel pretty bad. So do you not eat apples? Do you not have an apple? Oh, apples, I cut them. Oh, my God, I love this.

Or I eat them on my own in a dark room. Going, you're a bad person. And you only wear spongy shoes. Oh, yes. Yeah, no heels for me. So that's a kind of bad table manner. You feel like that's in your own bad table manner? Or is that, you think that's worse than other people,

but you think you've got good table manners apart from the slouching? Yeah, I mean... Let's see how she eats her doughnuts. Oh, God, that's so mean. Yeah, I mean, actually eating in front of people is terrifying. I know, this is, I now feel a bit weird about eating.

Does anybody want a doughnut? I feel weird now. Does anybody want a doughnut? I'm going to cut them up and then everyone can have a little bit. Here's a little sharp knife. Mum, whilst I'm cutting... Cut that up as well. I feel like no. Does anybody want a donut? I'm going to cut them up and then everyone can have a little bit. Mum, whilst I'm cutting. Cut that up as well.

I feel like no one's going to want the savoury cheesecake. I'm sorry, Mum. Well, maybe we'll let... People are going to have it on their way out, like a party bag or something, because I don't want people to be under pressure. Why have you given me two? I gave you a sharper one and you had that in your hand. Okay, come on then. Right, we're going to ask, what is your last supper?

What would it be? Sorry, I just like fingered that and put it in your thing and sorry about that. My favourite food is Thai. Okay. I love Thai. Oh, yeah. My friends, when I moved to London, I once just said that Thai food, Thai takeaway was better in Australia, but Indian takeaway was better in London.

And they said that was the most boring thing I'd ever said. And that became a recurring joke for the last 10 years, that they always go, oh, the Thai's better back home. And then, yeah. But I do love it. And it is better in Australia. Yeah, I understand that. Yeah, yeah.

I think just the... You're nearer. Yeah, yeah. But I also love it in London. So I think my main course would be are you skipping Sarta? no, I just felt like the Thai was an important point

to make do you want another plate darling? hold on, yeah I'm dying to taste that you take some before I give it to the audience just cut it darling I'm really bad at cutting. I feel very under pressure. You always say that I do such bad cutting anyway,

so now it's like... Just do it. Okay, go on. Okay, main we're starting with. I think the chilli and basil... Oh, no, maybe red chicken curry. You can have more. You can have chilli and basil and red chicken.

Okay, I love the... It has a different name, but... Crepal, I think? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Chilean, yeah. Anywhere in particular you would get it from? A place near my old work in Soho. Is that my one?

That was a little takeaway one, but he made amazing red chicken curry. In Soho, London? Right, okay. Just for lunch. Amazing. Okay, so you'd have his. That was a restaurant that you went to

no no it was just a street stand what's it called do you remember what it was called no oh ok fine

he's very nice is he still there is he still there I haven't been there for a year but hopefully he was a really nice guy and he just had

three big pots of red green and yellow and the red was the best amazing and my entree would be, is it ravioli? But like a fancy restaurant. If I'm in a fancy restaurant. The big ones.

The big flat square ones. What would they be filled with? I mean, anything usually. Yeah. Probably meat because I'd feel not bad because it's my last meal. So I'm not like, you know. Are you saving the planet? Oh, I mean, a lot of my show is about me

freaking out about climate change in an unhelpful way but it doesn't mean I've become full vegetarian but I've been trying to you know just cut down a bit. I think I do darling. So you basically try to be vegetarian? Oh I mean try is the emphasis there. What was your microwavable meal last night? Oh, I mean, try is the emphasis there. What was your microwavable meal last night? Thai. Chicken. Yeah, it was green curry, yeah, yeah.

But I'm at the fringe and I needed to treat myself. Oh, yeah, of course, absolutely. Yeah, so I'm trying. And obviously eggs don't count, poached eggs. No, of course not. And so it would be filled with meat, though, because it's my last meal, so who cares about the planet? I'm going. And what's pudding?

Well, my mum, we're very much a sweets family. She's very good at desserts. Yeah. And also cakes. I realise I slagged off my mum's cooking to start the show. It's fine. Her cakes are amazing. Her whole creativity thing when we were growing up was she would make a really fancy birthday cake. And she once made me a 3D Garfield cake that was full on Garfield.

Oh, wow. Was he your favourite? He was at the time, yeah. He hates Monday. I have grown, yeah. But she made an amazing chocolate self-sourcing pudding that was just the right... That's the thing here, right? A what? Self-sourcing pudding that was just the right... That's the thing here, right?

A what? Self-sourcing pudding. A self-what? Chocolate self-sourcing pudding. Chocolate self-sourcing pudding? Yeah. Is that when it has the sauce inside and you cut it and it goes... Yeah.

Oh, we call that... I've never called it a chocolate self-sourcing pudding. Chocolate fondant. That's a chocolate pudding. Does anybody want a bit of 12 triangles thingies? Okay, hold on. Right.

Have a little bit. Oh, just fucking take one. I've got a fucking show to do. Jesus. Right, who else wants some? Right.

Then Heidi can eat without everyone having to watch her. I think this is going to be on my last. Right, hold on a minute. Right, hold on girls. Right.

You've got, I don't know what you've got. I think you've got the noisette the pan and was it right and everyone can have a bit of sweaty cheesecake at the end if you want okay so there's you'd have your mom doing a cake you actually didn't say what cake your mom would oh you'd have the self sourcing sorry melting middle got it self-sourcing with cream do you when you make a hit you pour the water on top it before i've never made it oh have you made it i used to make it with mum is it easy or hard i mean i made it it's so easy so hot and how do you do it you just made the mixture and then yeah you made the mixture like all the flour and all that put in a bowl and then you poured two cups of boiling water on top and then you put it in the oven and all that, put it in a bowl and then you pour two cups of boiling water on top

and then you put it in the oven and then that is how it becomes, it cases over and then you crack it. Jessie, that sounds terribly easy. Oh, so easy. Yeah, she had it in that old... Do you have Women's Weekly here? No, but it's the best in Australia. Yeah, it was that Women's Weekly.

Why is it so good in Australia? Because I used to get all your birthday cake books. Yeah, it was that Women's Week. Why is it so good in Australia? Because I used to get all your birthday cake books. Yeah, they're those birthday, yeah. And there'd be a Barbie cake and a castle and treasure. Yeah, my mum did the castle one. Yeah. Oh, but like, I think her own design, I should say. Yeah, obviously.

Don't you always eat pavlova for dessert in Australia? We do have pavlova a lot. And lamingtons. Because it's the national dish, I thought it was. Oh, lamingtons. Yeah, yeah. What are lamingtons? They're kind of spongy with raspberry jam and dipped in coconut, is it? Yeah, there's like

icing around the end and then coconut oil and there's a square. Do you like them? Yeah, they're nice if they're done right. It's like... Oh, you make them. It's not just like you buy it from a shop. I mean, you always get them in Australia at a fund rate. There's always just like you buy it from a shop. I mean, you always get them in Australia. It's a fundraiser. There's always a Lamington Drive, and you get a big stack. What's a Lamington Drive?

Is anyone Australian here? Well, so are those. It's usually one. It's like, yeah, I don't know where they got them from. A Lamington Drive? Yeah, just like to raise money for the school, there'd be a Lamington Drive, and then you'd come home with a whole stack of lamingtons i don't think we ever made them ourselves oh interesting yeah like a cake store darling yeah that's it we call it a

drive why do you call it a drive i don't know we call it a self-sourcing we just gotta put our little spin on it yeah um I wanted to also ask, we've been asking everyone on the last series what they would stockpile. If, you know, Brexit's happening, definitely. Deal or no deal. Scotland will be independent. Yeah.

So it'll be... Yeah, yeah, yeah. They won't want anything to do with it. We'll be stuck with Bojo. We won't be Great Britain anymore. Yeah, yeah. What would you stockpile? What are you going to be stockpiling when we're stuck on our island?

If my guilty pleasure that I have if times are bad and I'm sad, which I think might happen if Brexit happens, is, as I said, I'm very basic with my food, it's French fancies. I don't think they particularly come from France. They're not from France. Oh, right, OK, got it. We're thinking things from Europe that we won't be able to get anymore. Besides medicines. You'll be able to get Mr Kimpling French fancy.

Oh, you'll be all right with that. I mean, I can't even think what you get from... So lots of people have been saying, like, Nene Cherry said olive oil. I've got... I bought six litres back from Spain. Who said truffles? Are we not going to be able to get olive oil? We're just going to hike up the pike. Well, this sounds like a big old mix.

Sounds like... Has anyone noticed? Yeah. I'm going to write a blog. I'll sort this out. Olive oil has gone up by about £5 a litre. Oh, good. It's about £10 a litre now. Well, because I don't cook enough,

olive oil has not been something I've been worried about. Who cooks the microwave meals? Oh, then there might be making sounds. I don't know. Probably. Ingredients, yeah. Eggs there in England. Yeah, we can get that.

Yeah. We're all going to have to have a chicken at the back of it. Chicken, yeah, yeah. Eggs there in England. Yeah, we can get that. Yeah. What else? We're all going to have to have a chicken at the back of it, yeah. Chicken, yeah, bread. Yeah. I think I'm sorted. What about Allbrand? Got to keep my roughage.

Allbrand. Probably made in England. Kellogg's. It's Kellogg's. And what's your drink? Sorry, did we say what your drink was? No. I do like a rosé.

Yeah. Is it true that organic wine means you don't have a headache? Well, this is what they sold me to... No, no, it's absolute crap. This is, they said, that biodynamic stuff, the organic... And the orange wine, they were like, you absolutely don't get a headache on.

You absolutely do. Yeah, it's complete crap. What was Jo drinking last night? What were you drinking last night, Jo? Everything. Beer? Everything. Beer? Yeah. Do you need a little bit of a...

Hair of the dog. Yeah, well, oh, you do, don't you? Hold on a minute. Do you want one? Do you want one with peach bellini? Yeah, if that's okay. Yeah, absolutely. Oh, my God, you're really struggling.

Well, we were in the Brew Dog on Cowgate and... Why did everyone... I'll just put the microphone down. Why? What's so wrong with the Brew Dog? Oh yeah, Brew Dog on Cowgate. Right, okay. So it was lots of beers?

Beers and mezcal. The manager... No, you didn't have mezcal. The manager's scene is like Game of Thrones and we've got free drinks

wait he was in Game of Thrones wait which character are you in Game of Thrones he's the he's a porno blacksmith oh yeah

I have a he's the one that had to have sex with the Lady of Light holy no wait she like basically sacrificed him.

I didn't recognise him. And he hooked... Is everyone up to date? Sorry, babe. Sorry. Yeah, well, we all know what happens with him. And what's her face? Ira.

Ira? Yeah. Yeah, he's very important. Yeah, I didn't recognise you with your hair. I talk about Game of Thrones in my show quite a bit. Do you? Come and tell us why. Why do you talk about it?

I say I miss Australia, but then you realise I just miss a time 10 years ago and then I'm like, when Daenerys Targaryen was just a young, idealistic woman with her whole life ahead of her and that kind of... Yeah. And how it's all about morality is great. It feeds into the whole theme.

You've got to come if you want to understand. Yeah. You really do. Go on, hold on. Joe. I got handed a flyer yesterday for a Game of Thrones parody musical that's happening at the Fringe.

And across the front of the flyer it says, in block capital letters, we fixed the final season. Are you going to go and see it? No, I think I might. I'm going to have to stay. You're done? Yeah, I'm just going to have to stay loyal.

Am I allowed to ask you what you thought of the last season? Yeah, of course. What did you think of the last season? Loved it. Yeah, okay, got it. You were in pitch black for one of the episodes. I couldn't bloody see what was going on. Yep, nailed it in the last episode as well.

Had one word. I smashed it. You did get to the last episode. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's all that matters, isn't it? You survived eight seasons, wasn't it? Yeah, three of them. I mean, I spent three of them not in it,

which I think is probably the best way to survive the show is to just not be in it for a bit thanks porno blacksmith thank you so much um heidi thanks so much for coming on i want to talk about your comedy more and i want to know how actually i need to ask you do writing for other people lots of political writing yeah a little I do I do mostly um sketch show stuff like sketch shows back in Australia and uh stuff like that um but I've done a few of the like now show and those things here but um and have I got news for you did you yeah I wrote uh just one episode did some writing for one of the shows. How does it work out when you are writing for shows like that? Is it kind of like, are you at a table and you just have to... Yeah, yeah, and basically, like...

Have a newspaper and you try... Yeah, yeah, and we kind of, they pick different topics and say, oh, if it's about this, what shall we kind of... It's probably quite easy to laugh about politics at the moment, yeah. Oh, God. Well, I mean, it's very depressing. I think it really affected my mental health, because, like, the news is a little... Depressing. If anyone has noticed, yeah. Oh, God. Well, I mean, it's very depressing. I think it really affected my mental health, because the news is a little, if anyone has noticed, depressing, and when you're reading it all and trying to joke while you're...

I think we were all sitting in the room going, we're so doomed, and so you're doing that while you're trying to write jokes, and then my whole show is just about being overwhelmed by that and then catastrophising how we're all doomed, but it's like really fun. Where do you live? In London in Archway. Okay lovely. So what's your Uber rating? Oh I checked it the other day it was like 4.3. Oh my god Heidi that's really bad. I know.

That is very bad. That could be our lowest I don't know what I've ever done No I'm really I just say Oh Busy night I do the standards Maybe they're like

Be original Mark down John Bishop's was fine Alright Yeah but that's I don't know if it goes In a taxi That's why

I think I didn't know About the rating them for a long time. And if they know that I wasn't rating them, maybe they knew that and then they rated me down. Otherwise, it's my personality. I'm really quiet and polite. I'm, like, subservient in most situations. Do you wear your seatbelt?

Apparently, that ups your rating. Yeah, I wear my seatbelt, definitely. What's yours now? It's 4.5. Still, it's not... 4.6. Sorry, was that... Yeah, it's not that bad.

I want to check mine. Yeah, come on, check. 4.6. Maybe it's because I eat apples in the back. I don't know how that... Yeah, they're probably all... What do they call them? Misogynist.

Oh, misophonia, right. I was like, yeah, it's probably a woman thing. Come on, chat. Takes a while to learn. Yeah, fine, fine. Oh, it says five. 4.63. 4.63.

That's amazing. Yeah. That's really good. See, I didn't have faith in myself. That's a real lesson. Yeah. That's what us women do. That's what women

do it's very very shy retiring women yeah just yeah it's because i'm a misogynist can we just please plug your show and please can everyone uh go to heidi's show i'm not i'm sure it's all sold out but when is it on yeah every day it's not quite sold out. It's fine. It's called Heidi Kills Time, 4.45 at the Pleasance, every day. Every day? No days off? No days off. Until the very end. Oh, well, thank you so, so much for coming on this and chatting to us

and teaching us so much about self-sourcing. I'm amazed I had anything to teach you about food. No, it's just, I'm really confused about that because I feel like a chocolate fondant or a melty middle, it's a sexy thing. Self-sourcing sounds like a librarian or someone. It's empowering, though. It's saying the pudding did it all itself.

Yeah, that's true. An independent pudding. Yeah. that's true. An independent pudding. Yeah. That's what we like. Heidi Regan, thank you so much. Thank you very much. Thank you. Cheers.

And our time is up. I need to collect my daughter from the bubble show that's happening downstairs. So we must go now. But thank you so much for coming and help yourself. I bet you no one is going to eat that cheese cake i bet you they will okay well um thank you so so much and uh please catch heidi wiegand at the pleasant 445 every bloody day

thanks Thank you. I think we go now. Darling, I've never sweated so much in my life. Welcome to showbiz. Welcome to the live game, mother. It was really nerve-wracking. Yeah, it is. You need to speak more. Darling, I couldn't get a chance.

Did you hear your applause? Yeah. How do you feel after your first live show at Edinburgh? I feel okay. Have you learned things about yourself? No. I've learned how I sweat a lot under pressure sweat like

I thought god what's happened here it's the lights it's the glitz it's the glow she said someone said to me

have you got to that age I said I've been there twice that age Christ and it's nice to meet you and your fans darling oh your fans mum I've been there twice. Christ. And it's nice to meet you and your fans, darling. Oh, your fans, Mum.

What are you talking about? But I'm glad that we, I'm glad I've learnt something. You cannot eat doughnuts on stage and do a podcast. We are learning as we go. We are forever learning. But I do think it's nice to share stuff with the audience. Oh, they were a greedy bunch. And people, we're going to have to do things that are in the cookbook. They came up and they said, when's the cookbook out?

I didn't promote the merch, so we sold six tea towels, Mum. Six tea towels, darling. But Heidi Regan, what a lovely... Delightful woman. She's more subtle than us, Mum. I feel like we're slightly in your face and she's like, she's all about the silences and

I feel like maybe I was slightly overbearing. But I'm not sure that food was high on her agenda. She had microwave meals, Jess. I know, but I love that. She used it as fuel. And self-sourcing.

Do you self-source, Mum? God, I thought self-sourcing was like researching. That sounds kind of like slightly like masturbating, like something. Jessie, don't use that word, darling. Very good,

the independent woman thing. That was very good, Mum. The independent, that was really good. Good gag. Mum, do you think you could do live podcasts the rest of your life like Deborahorah francis white darling i think i could be a stand-up i really would love you to fucking say something me and mrs maisel it's mrs maisel

maisel all right well uh yeah chapter two coming tomorrow i can't wait for your fucking nuggets of uh lol jokes a few bon mots, darling. People would come out and say, don't listen to Jessie. It's lovely. That's what they were saying. Don't listen. I'm really, really glad.

And we don't have to deal with them when they have diarrhea. Stop your greeting, hen. Mum, I feel like you're going to have your moment like Lady Gaga in Star is Born. And I'm going to push you to the front. I'm going to be like, come on. And you're just going to have your moment like Lady Gaga in Star is Born and I'm going to push you to the front I'm going to be like come on and you're just going to pull that jacket off I'm not going to sing with that lipstick on

and take over I'm not going to sing yet okay thanks so much for having such a lovely time at Edinburgh Festival at the Gilded Balloon we are so excited to be here and we have two more shows coming up

sold out may I add. Lots of love.