Table Manners with Jessie and Lennie Ware - S7 Ep 3: Grace Campbell - Live from the Edinburgh Festival Fringe

Episode Date: August 9, 2019

What better way to end our Edinburgh special, than to get rising stand-up star, Grace Campbell on the show to discuss feminism and competing with Tony Blair.It was such a pleasure chatting to fellow podcaster Grace about why she’s never going into politics, her love of fish tacos, protest shenanigans & trying to get a date with Jeremy Corbyn's son.Thanks so much to everyone who came along to see us in Edinburgh (and those who bought a tea towel) - we had a ball!! We’ll be back very soon for Series 8. Make sure you’re subscribed so you don’t miss an episode.Produced by Alice Williams Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello and welcome to Table Manners with me, Jessie Ware, and my dear mum, Lenny. You don't mean that. I do. Okay. We've got through it, mum. I know, and we've worked very hard. We have. Yeah.

Teamwork makes the dream work. Yeah. I mean, there's been a lot. It's been a dream, Jess. Yeah. It's been a lot of rosé involved whilst making muffins and drizzle cakes and sausage rolls. And banana bread. Can we talk about my sausage rolls?

Yeah. They were fantastic. A triumph. They were dirty, just like London uses mouths. It is our final day at Edinburgh Festival. We are, not going to lie, quite ready to go home. I'm exhausted. I don't understand how people do a full

do people even do a full month here? I feel sad that we haven't seen any fringe theatre but we have been able to enjoy some comedy and restaurants. Thank you to everybody who recommended restaurants and thank you to everyone that let us

come to your restaurants. Can we have a special mention for this? Scran and Scally yeah love them who were hospitable warm and embraced children and didn't and were welcoming it wasn't like they tolerated them they're absolutely welcoming yeah it was really lovely i went there with my mate we went there two nights in a row so tom kitchen you are a god please come and do the podcast thank And thank you, Alex, for looking after us. Oh, yeah. Alex, manager, love you. Hope that your son is getting better from Chicken Box.

Yeah, the lookout was lovely, actually. Beautiful. Gardens Cottage, new place, the lookout. It was absolutely boiling. The hottest day everybody got. We had surf and turf and delicious rosé. Sadly missed the oysters because we had to rush to Grace Campbell's show.

Who is the guest on our show today? People may know of her as Alistair Campbell's daughter, which I wonder if that's slightly annoying for her. She is an activist, feminist and comedian and has been doing stand-up for about a year. We went to see her show yesterday and she gave London a run for her money with filth. We're hoping she's going to keep it clean a bit.

We're going to keep it PG today. That's it. We're going to have a word in her ear before. But yeah, we're really excited. It's another sellout show. We've made, what have we made today, Mum? We've made lemon drizzle cake and we've made three cheese and onion muffins.

Could they be like triple threat cheese muffins, like our triple threat brownies? Absolutely. So for book two? Lots of cheese, lots of onion. Lots of cheese. Chives. Quattro, trio fromaggio. Trio fromaggio.

Yeah, trio fromaggio. All right. Formaggio. Trio fromaggio. Or tre fromaggio. Tre fromaggio sounds good. Un grand formaggio. All right. Formaggio. Tia Barbara. Or tre formage. Tre formage sounds good. Un grand formage. Big cheese.

Big cheese. Grace Campbell coming up on Table Manners live at Edinburgh Festival. Rydyn ni wedi gwneud ddwy sioe, rydym yn byw ac rydym yn dysgu, felly gobeithio y bydd hwn yn y sioe gorau, Oh, I feel like you're going to be a good crowd. I feel like, look, we've done two shows. We're living and we're learning. So hopefully this will be the best show because it's teething before. So I feel like the first day I brought her on with me and she got a bigger clap. So now I feel like, please put your hands together for Lenny Ware. Stop laughing. Mum, I'm just waiting until Mum complains about the heat in this room. Is it hot in here or is it me?

It is hot and it's a bit of a bugger because we do have the aircon on. mum complains about the heat in this room. Is it hot in here or is it me? It is hot and it's a bit of a bugger because we do have the aircon on. However, my poor producer sound person is stressing that it's going to sound like shit on the thing. But it doesn't really matter. We're all going to have a lovely time. And you will be a bit less hot. But I am sorry, it's really hot.

How are you, mum? Hot. But besides that, I'm fine, darling. Have you enjoyed your time in Edinburgh? It's been fabulous. Do you really mean that? Being with you all the time, darling, is fabulous. You know that. I adore it.

I think Edinburgh is fantastic. I don't know how people get to all the shows. I wouldn't know which one to pick, all those posters. It's very overwhelming, I feel, isn't it? I mean, I want to know, how many of you have bought tickets to things or do you just kind of rock up and like go, are you spontaneous?

Like, how does it work? Can I, have you bought tickets? Yeah. How many tickets have you bought? Well, I'm here because I was laid in bed and heard on your podcast that you'd booked it. You lie in bed listening to our podcast like so much. Yeah, yeah our podcast like yeah and then so then i've had to bring my husband with the caravan all the way from barnsley so then

where's your husband in the caravan i've sent him for a coffee. For two hours. Oh, my God, I love you. And I thought, well, I'd better get him something to make him happy. So I booked Al Murray. Oh, bless you. We can give him a bit of lemon drizzle as well to say sorry. What's your name? Mary.

Hi, Mary. Thanks so much for coming. And I do the same job as your mum. Do you? You're a social worker? Yeah. Oh, well, yeah, give it up for Mary. It's a tough job. That's why I wake up at two o'clock thinking, have I done this?

Well, thank you so much for coming. Who else is going to see some shows? Do you want to be picked on? You looked a bit like... I'm fine. Yeah, I'm a bit hungover. Oh, why are you hungover? Tell me! We were at Masayuki last night,

which is like karaoke en masse. Oh, my God. That sounds amazing. So you're like a choir of drunk people. Yeah, so it's like a live band and they project the words on a screen and everyone just sings along. Oh, my God!

Why didn't we go for that? Why didn't we go for that? That's amazing. Yeah, so... What were you singing? I mean, yeah, all the hits. There's a bit of like Bon Jovi. It was a mixtape, so like they played a bit, Grease Megamix.

Oh, wow. You know, yeah. And does anyone get solos? No, so they just play them. I don't think they really encourage drunk people to go up on stage. Oh, fair enough. But we were only in the dance floor, obviously. Amazing. Oh,

man, I'm really gutted that we're going now. I feel like we've been going past everywhere with all these posters and it's just there's so much to see. I'm very sad that I'm not seeing, is it the Ballad of Kylie Jenner's Old Face? Apparently that's amazing and we had London Hughes on yesterday

who says it's amazing. And if you haven't been to London Hughes' show, you should. It's called To Catch a Dick and it's outrageous. I'm not even joking. It is all about willies. Anybody else seen anything great? Come nearer to me. I cannot

sit on this poor woman's baby bump. Take the mic hold on babe you're gonna be on the podcast get ready you can't i know you can project but uh um we went to see camille o'sullivan last night i've seen that face her face everywhere it was amazing it was unmissable absolutely unmissable yeah we were laughing. She's the best thing you'll ever see. Really? Yeah, she owns the stage. It's absolutely phenomenal. Oh, okay.

Camille O'Sullivan. Yeah. Okay, amazing. Yeah, singing Nick Cave. So, yeah, it was really wonderful. So, is she a singer? She's a cabaret act, yeah. Oh, man. Yeah, she's Irish.

You'd love her. You need to watch her. She's amazing. Oh, I'm getting on a train with two children in about an hour and a half. Yeah. But anybody else got any other tips for Edinburgh people? Mae'n dda, mae'n dda. Mae'n dda. Mae'n dda. Mae'n dda. Mae'n dda. Mae'n dda. Mae'n dda. Mae'n dda. Mae'n dda. Mae'n dda. Mae'n dda. Mae'n dda. Mae'n dda. Mae'n dda. Mae'n dda. Mae'n dda. Mae'n dda. Mae'n dda. Mae'n dda. Mae'n dda. Mae'n dda. Mae'n dda. Mae'n dda. Mae'n dda. Mae'n dda. Mae'n dda. Mae'n dda. Mae'n dda. Mae'n dda. Mae'n dda. Mae'n dda. Mae'n dda. Mae'n dda. Mae'n dda. Mae'n dda. Mae'n dda. Mae'n dda. Mae'n dda. Mae'n dda. Mae'n dda. Mae'n dda. Mae'n dda. Mae'n dda. Mae'n dda. Mae'n dda. Mae'n dda. Mae'n dda. Mae'n dda. Mae'n dda. Mae'n dda. Mae'n dda. Mae'n dda. Mae'n dda. Mae'n dda. Mae'n dda. Mae'n dda. Mae'n dda. Mae'n dda. Mae'n dda. Mae'n dda. Mae'n dda. Mae'n dda. Mae'n dda. Mae'n dda. Mae'n dda. Mae'n dda. Mae'n dda. Mae'n dda. Mae'n dda. Mae'n dda. Mae'n dda. Mae'n dda. Mae'n dda. like a hip-hop grime gig theatre show with storytelling and music. It's just brilliant. Okay, amazing. Well, I feel... Thank you.

I feel like I also need to big up my friend's show, which is on at The Pleasant, and it's called Fox. I don't know if anybody's heard about it, but it's about a single mum, and she's called Kate... She's not married and has an Italian name now, so it's really annoying.

But it's Katie Guicciardi, I think. Or otherwise, Katie Morgan. But Fox, go and see it. It's on at the same time as us, which is so annoying, so I haven't actually been able to see it. But thank you so, so much. So we also, before just a few house rules, please buy our tea towels.

They're completely overpriced. And it's a bit word art, isn't it? I love it. I know you do, because you love leopard print. I do. I don't wear leopard print, yet everything has become about my mother. The podcast too, which is fair enough.

She's the best. Mum, what have we got on the menu today? Well, I'm smelling the three cheese muffins. They're kind of starting to be over... They are, they're wafting. Wafting it nicely. And we've got some lemon drizzle, which wasn't difficult because we had to make it last night.

And so we hope everyone will try something. Yeah, actually, I forgot. I've never made a lemon drizzle before and I didn't realise that you have to kind of put the drizzle bit in when it's warm, so it really, like, soaks it up. So I had to put it in the microwave this morning and then, like, punch some holes and hope for the best. So who knows?

It may be, like, a brilliant thing that I can put in the next cookbook, and that will be my thing. The cookbook. Oh, OK, fine. Come on, then. Tell them about the cookbook. We've got a cookbook coming out on the most important day of the year, Mother's Day next year. So, yeah, it's mum's favourite day of the year by far. And I've tried to instil this on my husband who never celebrated it with his mum. And I feel really sorry for

her, but I feel even more sorry for me because I've had to do such a big thing for my mum and now my husband thinks it's just another day like that. So what I've been trying to do on Father's Day is be like, this is your day. You are so appreciated. When it comes to Mother's Day, nothing. So, yeah, this year we'll be celebrating together.

And we've got someone with quite a special mum and a dad today. Yeah, absolutely. Do you want together. And we've got someone with quite a special mum and a dad today. Yeah, absolutely. Do you want to introduce who we've got? We've got a young comedian. Well, she probably doesn't feel that young, but she is young to me. And we went to see her yesterday. She's doing her first one-woman show. Yeah.

And her name is Grace Campbell. Please give it up for Grace Campbell. Thank you. her name is Grace Campbell. Please give it up for Grace Campbell. Oh, wow. I love that. Yeah. Love it. Do you see how we're like trying to make you buy it? It's just there. I'll wear it as a bib when we start eating. Grace, thanks so much for doing this.

Oh my God, thanks for having me. It's the best moment of my career. Oh, you're so sweet. I'm not joking. This is my favourite podcast. Oh, bless you. Well, you have a podcast with your dad. And who is your dad? My dad is Alistair Campbell. Some people, it's quite a young crowd. Hands up, who knows? Some people might not know who he is. Yeah, everyone does. Explain who he is and then I bet everyone will know who he is. So he worked for Tony Blair for a long period of time, from 1994 until about 2005, so the first ten years of my life.

And he was his spin doctor, that was what he got titled, but he was his head of communications. He sort of ran the show for a lot of it. And he's become quite a notorious public figure, I guess. And he had this TV programme called The Thick of It based on him. So that's his claim to fame, or it's my claim to fame. And your show here is called... It's called Why I'm Never Going Into Politics.

And it's about my childhood and then it's about my relationship with politics now and, like, as a feminist. And I've been quite active in, like, feminist campaigning. So it's about my relationship with politics now, but also, like, the way I think it's going for my generation and the fact that I don't think the system right now works for us. So, yeah, it's kind of scary.

There's some amazing... Your show is on at the Gilded Balloon Teviot. Am I saying it right? Teviot? Teviot. Teviot. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

Sorry. Teviot? Te my God. Sorry. Teabiet? Teabiet. Sorry. I've been telling all my Uber drivers the wrong place, then. And it kind of goes through, what I found really brilliant about it was, it goes through you basically competing with Tony Blair for your father. Yes.

From birth. From birth, yeah. The month I was born was when he started working for tony so it was a real ongoing thing and then there's this video in the show on the day tony blair becomes prime minister and he's making his speech and i'm just a three-year-old and my mum's holding me in her hands next to tony blair so it's like tony blair me and i got i ripped it from the BBC's archive. And it was just this perfect video of like, that's sort of how it was for me.

And you're kind of holding, are you holding one of these? Well, I have a sippy cup. You have a sippy cup. And a Union Jack. You look pissed off. Yes. You look very miserable. I was. I didn't want to be there. My competition had just become prime minister. I was pissed off. I thought it should be me. My competition had just become prime minister. I was pissed off.

I thought it should be me. So, and who is your mother? My mum is a woman called Fiona Miller. She's a campaigner. She campaigns mainly on state school education and improving state school education in this country, but she's done a lot on, she just got worked on this campaign

that's helped heterosexual couples have civil partnerships. That was her campaign. So she's a massive feminist. And she also worked for Cherie Blair for the whole time my dad was in Downing Street. And she's a big swimmer. And she's a massive swimmer. She swims every single day. Every day of her life.

Whatever the weather. Outside or inside? Inside. But then as soon as it gets warm, she'll go to an outside Lido. But she is obsessed with swimming. Wherever we are, she only goes there if there's a pool. Wow. And it's why she's so calm, I'm convinced.

Do you swim, Grace? I do a lot of yoga. I don't swim massively. I like swimming, but my mum is like the most calm person and I think every day she starts the day in a pool clearing her head it must be so good for you um and growing up um you grew up in north London yeah and I can imagine your dad and your mum were incredibly busy working for the Blairs working with the Blairs and so what was dinner time like did you all eat together like what were you eating who was cooking well i think my grandma audrey she used to cook uh our staple meal was fish fingers

chips and peas delicious yeah still one of my favorite meals um so audrey used to look after me a lot and that's what we used to eat my mum is a really good cook now she wasn't there she'll admit that they didn't have much time for cooking, I don't think. My dad's never cooked in his entire life. He once made a souffle with tuna in. Oh. That's the only thing he's ever cooked. Was it nice?

I wasn't there, thank God. So I think we had nannies and they probably cooked us stuff. But food wasn't a big thing until my mum... Until I got older and my mum got really into cooking. She's a vegetarian as well. Oh, you're a vegetarian? Yeah. It's all right. I've covered it.

We love vegetarians, don't we, Jess? No, it's the vegans you've got to watch out for. But having just done this cookbook, I realised I think I've destroyed half a planet because of the amount of meat we've got in the cookbook. So I'm turning over a new leaf. Because we're ruining the world. We're ruining the world.

I'm going to become a plant-based cook. So your mum's a vegetarian yes pesky so i'm pesky but my mum's full veggie she's been veggie since she was 19. so when she was cooking for you on those days that she was yeah what were you eating would she cook she would put like a chicken kiev in the oven without touching it that's what she would put a chicken Kiev in the oven without touching it. That's what she would do. How did she do that? She would flop it out of the packet into the dish and put it in. But she's not like... Which I understand.

Now I'm a vegetarian, I would not cook people meat. I do not really like being around it, to be honest. Do vegetarians like Prosecco? Yes. That was good, Mum. Fuck it, Al. She's still got it. So she would be still cooking you key herbs?

Yes. But we ate, like, a lot of fish fingers. My mum's going to be really angry that I'm saying this, but she's a great cook now. So what's her best meal, best dish that she does now? She does such good, like, vegetarian food. She makes, like, an amazing potato dauphinoise, which I love so much.

She does, like, just amazing. She made this thing the other day that was a courgette, and she sliced the courgette loads and just squeezed loads of lemon in it and then baked it with feta. Ooh, yeah. And it was the most amazing, light, lovely. She's very healthy, my mum. If you've seen a picture of her. And it was the most amazing, light, lovely. She's very healthy, my mum.

If you've seen a picture of her. She looks like... Did you watch the OC? Yes. Do you remember Kirsten Cohen? Yes! My mum is the spitting image of her. Oh my god. But she's had no work done. So it's mad. So do I have to go swimming every day

to not get work done? I'm wondering... Woo! Grace, do you want it with peach juice or orange juice? With orange, please. Orange. Yeah, thank you. She's a vegetarian.

She swims. She never really drinks. She's never smoked. She looks fantastic. Yeah. So that's what we should all be doing. It's unattainable, I think, for me. Drink up.

Yeah, it's unattainable, I think, for me. So drink up. So it would be kind of Audrey putting in fish fingers. Yeah. Well, I mean, fair enough. They were busy, right? They were busy, yeah. And do you have brothers and sisters?

I've got two brothers. Jessie, do you want one? Yeah, sod it. Yeah. Can I have it with peach, please, Mum? Yeah. I've never had it with peach. Oh, babe, you should.

Oh, blenis. Yeah. Is that what had it with peach. Oh, babe, you should... Oh, blenies. Yeah. Is that what that is? God, I'm so basic. No, you're not. No, you're not. Do you need hair? Have you been drinking whilst you've been here? Not really, no, but I have one of these.

I have a show in two hours, so... If anyone's coming, come and shout at me. Well, I mean, if they're lucky enough to come, you're putting on extra dates, aren't you? Yes, they're just sold out today. What, the whole run is sold out? No, no, the next four days are sold out. That's amazing.

And then a few other days are sold out. So I've added in two extra shows in a bigger venue. And which venue is it? I don't know, it's at the Gilded Balloon as well. Okay. Sports Bar or something. That would be interesting. Yeah.

Have you got your mum's temperament or your father's? Well, interestingly, my dad's traditionally, because I always thought I have to be like my dad because he's so powerful and he's so kind of, people listen to him. And in recent years, I've been trying to be more like my mum. Be more like your mum. Yeah.

But you'll take people on, like your dad would. Yeah, definitely. Definitely. Yeah. Because you mentioned something about your dad being on Question Time. Yes. Yeah. Oh, yeah.

Please, can you tell everyone? What, when I tried to get with Jeremy Corbyn's son? Yes. Yes. Just tell everybody. Yes. Just tell everything. Tell them why you were there in the first place. So my dad, if you know who he is,

you'll know he has a bit of a reputation for getting into fights with people, sometimes verbal, sometimes physical. And one of the things he does is he takes his children with him places because when we're there, mainly me actually, he doesn't like getting in fights in front of me because he knows it upsets me. So he got asked to go on question time with John McDonnell,

who is one of Jeremy Corbyn's allies in Labour Party, and he said, will you come with me because I'm scared I'm going to get in a fight with him. And if you're there, I won't. Anyway, I was too preoccupied trying to get a Jeremy Corbyn son. Is he good looking? I didn't know he had a son.

Is he good looking? No. Well, good enough. Was that you rebelling? It was me trying to mend the Labour Party. APPLAUSE I was taking one for the team. Did he say, my dad, like, sometimes you say, yeah. Yeah.

Please tell them that one of the funny bits about when you were, yeah. Yeah. Please tell them one of the funny bits about when you were protesting at the climate protest. The tuition fee protest. Tuition fee protest. So I was trying to get out of this protest because I got kettled. It was in 2010.

Some people here might have been at that protest. We got kettled, which is like... Do you know what kettling is? Yeah. Where they shove you in one bit. Where they shove you in the... You're not allowed to move. Yeah, for a long period of time.

And so I wanted to get out. And in the show I say it's because I had to get to Auschwitz, which is true, but I was going on a school trip. And so I went up to the police officer and I was like, I need to get out. And he was like, what makes you so special, more special than everyone else? And I was like, I'm pregnant.

And he was like, no, you're not. And I was like, so obvious I'm a virgin. Oh, my God, you can see it. And then I said something, and this is something I was known to do quite a lot when I was a teenager. I said to him, do you know who my dad is? And then he said, Mick Hucknall.

And needless to say, you didn't get to ask for it. No, I didn't. Are you a good cook? No. I'm going to be honest. I rely very much on other people cooking for me. And you have your boyfriend here. Yes.

He's going home tonight. He's going home tonight. Can he cook? He's a very good cook. Yeah. Idris is at the back he's somewhere somewhere kill me sorry babe yeah no you'll be picked on in a minute sorry he's a very good cook and my mum's a very good cook so those two they cook for me and I offer them jokes and good company in return. Of course. Yeah. So what are you going to eat when they're not here? I'll just tell you, Heidi Regan eats microwave meals. Oh, wow.

That's all. Oh, wow. So what will you be surviving on? So my staple breakfast is scrambled eggs on toast. That is the best thing I cook, is scrambled eggs. Any tricks? Scrambled eggs are very slow. Soft. Yeah. I like themramble eggs. Any tricks? Scramble eggs are very slow. Soft. I like them soggy. Very, very, very, very slow.

Wet. And I cook them so slowly. It takes them like ten minutes. Do you use butter? Yeah, butter. And then I cover it in chilli oil when it's on toast. That's like a bit like you, Jessie. You like hot sauce. I don't like it as much as other people. I find it quite offensive when people put hot sauce on something

and they don't even try the fucking food that I put on it. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. I love chili oil on scrambled eggs or chili flakes. That's a bit Mexican. More Mexican is my, when we come onto it, that's my favorite cuisine. Is it? Yeah.

Let's get onto it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Mexican is my favorite food. That's why I love going to LA because the fish tacos in LA are just like... Oh, fish tacos are great. They're the best. They're good, but I'm sorry.

What? The taco takes up so much of the meal and it's fucking like cardboard. I don't get it. Really? Yeah, I'm like, give me some nice texture, Jessie. I love it. No.

I love it. And I love squeezing so much lime all over it a fresh fish taco that would be my before I die meal ok well let's ask you now sorry you're doing our job for us

this is amazing no I love it ok so last supper desert island meal what are you going to call it? Where are you? Are you going to the Desert Island? Yeah, Desert Island.

Okay, fine. Desert Island. I would say as many fish tacos as I'm allowed. And then tortilla chips and that frijole sauce. You know, the black bean mashed up sauce with cream and cheese. That would be it. You wouldn't have a starter? Oh.

You'd just have dips for starters. I think that's a side. I, like, live off of dips. Because I don't cook right, I have hummus a lot. Like, that's like a meal for me. It's like satsiki. I'm more vegetarian. Please do do Lenny

please so you'd have dips no no I wouldn't no no no what would I have for starters let's think

well like I love like chilli quesadillas if we're sticking to the Mexican theme I love a Caesar salad as well I do too

I love a Caesar salad so you have anchovies in your Caesar salad but I actually prefer it without like my mum makes the best a Caesar salad so you have anchovies in your Caesar salad yeah but I actually prefer it without like my mum makes the best vegetarian Caesar salad the best how

she'll give us the recipe she just puts she just does everything just not anchovies so how does she get the bite in the it's just the

loads of parmesan if you sort of put more parmesan and then loads of croutons and her sauce her dressing is amazing I literally my list is really sad but like I eat alone quite a lot and then loads of croutons, and her sauce, her dressing is amazing.

I literally, my list is really sad, but I eat alone quite a lot, and what I do is I just get one of those ready-made Caesar salad bags from Sainsbury's. Oh, yeah, I've seen them. And I just pour the sauce, I keep calling it sauce, the dressing on, and the croutons, and I have that for dinner. It's not very filling. No. No.

And then pudding? I love like a, what's it called? A chocolate souffle, like a, what's it called? This has been a recurring theme. A self-sourcing. Yeah. So the first day that we were here, Heidi Regan chose, she liked to call it a self-sourcing pudding.

Have you ever heard of that? Oh, is that like when you put the thing in? No, no. When you open it up. It's like a fondant. Yeah. Has anybody heard of self-sourcing puddings before? No.

Yes. Are you Australian? No. Oh. Hold on one sec. I need the mic. One sec. Hold on a minute.

What's your name? Kerry. Kerry, hi. Self-sourcing. Where the fuck have you heard that before? Because honestly... I've made one. Yeah, but wouldn't you call it a fondant or a souffle? No, because a souffle rises, has no sauce,

but this, you cut into it and there's sauce at the bottom. Alright, smartass. Thank you. Would you like something to eat, Grace? Yeah, what are these? Those are my triple cheese... You can smell them. Triple cheese muffins,

because you're vegetarian. Thank you so much. I'm going to also... I feel like it's a really stressful thing for Grace to just eat in front of 250 people. So we're going to hand some out. Oh, nice. That is so nice. Is it nice? Right, hold on a minute. Would anybody like one? to just eat in front of 250 people. So we're going to hand some out and actually I'm going to eat today.

Oh, nice. That is so nice. Is it nice? Right, hold on a minute. Would anybody like one? It's vegetarian, Hannah. Anybody would like one? It's a cheesy muffin. It's really good.

I forgot this is a greedy bunch, our lot. So that is not going to be in the cookbook sorry it'll be in the second one darling maybe, it's good, but anyway and then we've got some lemon juice and we'll hand that out in a minute do you think you've got good table manners? well, I usually speak with my mouth full

oh do you? I shouldn't right now, should I? no, whatever, it's hard when we're doing a live show I'm just conscious you can all hear me chewing this is the hard thing about this podcast so yeah um i don't think i have the best to be honest what does your boyfriend think idrissa idrissa hold on can i get you jesus i'm good like i'm doing my steps hold on a minute. Idrissa, please tell us about Grace's table manners. I think I'd say she's a bit of a Jekyll and Hyde. Yes, in public, she's great.

It's wonderful, but as soon as we're behind closed doors, it's a mess. Oh, really? I think that is true. Thank you. And what is your worst table manner in other people? So I hate it when I can hear people chewing. Oh, there's a special word for that.

What was it, Jessie? Mass something. Does anyone know the name? Mesophobia. Mesophobia. Yeah. Mass... No, not masticating. That's the truth, isn't it?

Not masturbating. Sorry. That's too good. Mesophonia. Yeah, and that, because we had, Heidi Regan had a thing about apples crunching. Yeah. Hearing people.

Does that make you feel sick? That doesn't. It's when I can hear people's food being chewed up in their mouth, it makes my skin crawl. It makes me so uncomfortable. Also, people chewing with their mouths open is pretty grim. I don't think I do that,

hopefully. You're not pro-Brexit? Oh, no. Does anybody think it's... Well, Scotland's going to be alright because you're going to be independent soon, aren't you? And you'll still be part of it, but we're not. So what would you save? What do you think is important that you won't be able to get?

What are you going to stockpile? Wine. Yeah. Red wine and rosé. Anywhere particular, which region? So the south of France, where I've been going since i was a kid the rosé there is like water i love it um so that and then red wine from italy um what else would i stockpile good coffee italian coffee i'm really bad at knowing like what's from here and what's

not yeah but you know what also i have to say and I'm so like anti-Brexit but I did go on a holiday to Cornwall I had some of the best coffee of my life there I'm not saying like we should fucking leave the EU because of the Cornish coffee but I'm just saying it was really good Okay well I can get it there

Yeah you'll be stuck with Nigel but you'll have some good coffee I bought 7 litres of olive oil back from Spain two weeks ago. Yeah. I want to know, because how does one decide to be a comedian? In the sense that,

was everyone saying to you, you are so funny? I don't know. I find it's such an amazingly, it's so subjective, comedy. It is, which is why I love it. Because, you know, you might not find me funny, right? But you might find me funny, and that's fine.

Like, we don't need to all like the same comedians. That's what I love about comedy, is like, there are some comedians I love and other people really don't like, and vice versa. And so, eventually, you find people who are into your comedy but for a while you have to do shows like the one last night where you sort of practice being in a situation like that and what the reason I started doing it is because it's my perfect medium because I love performing and I love talking about politics and it's a place where you can perform and be funny and talk about the world and talk about feminism

and all of that stuff. And no one can tell you what you can and can't say, which is very different to being a politician. You know, it's the complete opposite because politicians are having to watch what they're doing and saying constantly. And I do a big thing in my show. I know we weren't allowed to talk about this.

Well, I know we're not allowed to talk about it. We weren't going to talk about it. Oh, but she's going to. But I've got a bit in my show where I talk about how me talking about wanking is a reason why I couldn't be a politician, because we don't like politicians talking about things like that still today. And so the thing about comedy is you can literally say whatever you want and i also thought it was really amazing that yeah like you were saying in your show that

you don't need to be a politician to change things no like example pink protest exactly and also right now unfortunately better out than in it is because politicians are getting frustrated because everything's dominated by brexit so they there are things that they want to be doing but they can't be doing because the whole conversation is being dominated by brexit so it's quite an unattractive world to go into right now which is sad because i wish we could get more young diverse voices into politics but right now i just worry that the the state of it from the outside is so bad that people just don't want to be in there did your dad ever consider becoming a politician yeah

yeah he did you think he still might probably not now no but he did for a bit yeah and so did my mum but I think ultimately like it's that thing of thing of they've been in there and it's really hard to get stuff done, you know, even as a leader. Sometimes if you're not, if you haven't got a united party, it's very difficult. So, yeah. Can I ask, did Tony Blair ever cook you a meal? Or Cherie? Not that I can remember. It's me being really nosy. Cherie? Not that I can remember.

It's me being really nosy. Yeah, so not that I can remember. They probably don't cook, darling. Do you think? I remember going to Checkers, which is their, like... Wow. Yeah. And there was a chef there who made me marzipan.

Oh, wow. Do you like marzipan? I remember thinking, I hate marzipan. Oh. It is a real big divide, isn't it? It's horrible. Yeah, that's all I remember. Why would one make marzipan?

He was making marzipan, and me and Catherine Blair, Tony's daughter, were just in the kitchen watching him, and he gave us marzipan, and I was like, never having that again. Great. Grace, what's your podcast called with your dad? It's called Football Feminism and Everything in Between.

Such a long title. But you don't like football? No. See, we're pretty mad about football. You are. I know that, yeah. We're desperate. You're Tottenham? No. My husband's Tottenham. Oh, I'm sorry. Oh my God, I'm sorry. You're Arsenal? No!

Don't say that word again! Jesus! No, my husband's Spurs and I actually really like Spurs. We're United. I was Man U for a long time. That's what I thought. Yeah, because my dad was very close with Alex Ferguson. Shut up.

Tell us. Really? Yeah, so we used to go, and my brother Rory, because of him, I copied him, and we were obsessed with Man United. Also, it was David Beckham. Of course. Obviously. Obviously.

And so we used to go to loads of matches then, but then my brother Rory started working in football and he started working for West Ham, so he slightly lost his sort of... Lost his focus. Yeah, because when you work in it... Can we do a little bit of a transfer, like a scratching back situation?

Because we cannot get footballers on our podcast, yet you... I mean, maybe we should put football manners. I don't know, but like... No, you should definitely. Can we do a little swapsie? Yeah I mean, maybe we should put football manners. I don't know. No, you should definitely. Can we do a little swapsie? Yeah, yeah, definitely. On loan.

Who do you want? On loan. Well, funnily enough, we want... I want Marcus Rashford. With Jesse Lingard. With Jesse Lingard together. The naughty one and the quiet one. Nice.

You could definitely do that. You told me backstage your first word was... Gary Neville. Perfect. Gary Neddle, actually. Why? He'd be great. I'd love him. Well, because that was when it was their peak. It was in the 90s. And my brothers were obsessed

with football, and Rory used to lean over me going, say Gary Neville. Say Gary Neville. So he's still Man U's supporter? Or has he gone to the other side? and Rory used to lean over me going, say Gary Neville, say Gary Neville, say Gary Neville. So he's still Man U's supporter? Or has he gone to the other side? He is and he isn't because he sort of supports whoever's going to make him money now.

Yeah. That is terrible, Grace. Yeah, well, he's making money. I want to know who you're wanting to see whilst you're at Edinburgh. London, Hughes. Yeah, but you won't be on the same time as her, so that's fine.

I think she's a bit later than me. Kat Cohen. She's this American, yeah. She's really cool. Really want to see her. Sophie Duker. She's amazing. Venus is her show. She's a friend of mine. Susie Ruffell. I know none of these people and I feel

very bad and I'm so sorry, Edinburgh. Are you just going to go to comedy? Yeah. Not a musical? I don't think so. It's not your thing? It's not really my thing. Do you go to theatre? I do because my mum loves the theatre and she loves going with me.

I prefer going to the cinema. If I'm honest. That's fine mum. Live and let live. Do you know what it is? When I was a child, we were watching Annie at the theatre and there was a bomb scare and we had to evacuate the cinema very quickly. So you've been scarred for life.

So whenever I'm in the theatre, I get anxious. That's terrible. Good answer, Grace. I know. That was quite political. That was amazing. I remember that and it was when Tony Blair was in government so I was like, they're definitely targeting us did you get therapy afterwards no is your show a form of therapy yes it really has been really especially like the bit about my mum and and the things i come to terms with in the end are like all about the person i thought i had to be versus the person I want to be now

because politics makes people think they have to be these big, scary, tough bullies. And actually, if we allowed people to be empathetic and more patient, the world would be a better place. And that was a really interesting arc for me. And as I wrote it, I realised all of those things. So it's been really nice and really cathartic. How long are you here for?

When do you finish? I finish on the 26th of August. So you're doing the whole run? Yeah, and I'm adding in an extra show next Monday on the 12th and then another one on the 20th.

And then me and my dad are doing a live episode of our podcast on the 21st. Amazing. Yeah. Thank you so much for doing this, Grace.

Jessie! What? Uber rating. Oh, yes. Do you have much for doing this, Grace. Jessie. What? Uber rating. Oh, yes. Do you have your phone on you? Oh my god. Are you going to ask me my Uber rating? Yeah. It's really bad. What was London yesterday? She was 4.7.

4.7? Yeah, it was impressive. I'm surprised, to be honest, with that mouth. I want to know what I can do. I started sucking up, Grace, too. Oh, yeah. Not in the London Hughes way. 4.16.

Oh, my God, that is low. Oh, Grace, that's way low. I think you have only just beaten Russell Tovey with his dog, Rocky, who joins him. That is low. What is he? He's like 3.8. Yeah, she better ditch her feminism

and start schmoozing the Uber drivers. This has been my rating for about a year. And when I get in, I'm like, hello, good day, how are you? Here are some flowers. Good day, kind of stuff. What can I do to make this experience better for you? And my rating just doesn't go up.

Do you wear your seatbelt? Yeah. If you take ages to come to the car, they give you a low... Finally, they give you a low rating if you take a while to come to the car. I'm always waiting outside. Yeah, see, that's good. And always say at the end, what Zachary Quinto said...

Mum, you're not five stars. No, I'm 4.73 now. Yeah, fine, you're not five. Zachary Quinto says that you should always say drive carefully. So I started doing that. I sound really creepy. Drive carefully.

Drive carefully. On that note, everyone, thank you so much for coming and please, drive carefully. Thank you so much to Grace. Do you want a bit of lemon drizzle?

Everyone check out Grace's show and why I'm never going into politics. It's at the Gilded Balloon, the TV Yachts, in the Wee Room, and please help yourself to Lemon Drizzle. Thank you, Grace Campbell. Thank you so much for having me. We are on our way home. LNER.

Redeeming themselves from the first trip up. We all have a seat. We're in first class with a weekend upgrade. Did you enjoy Grace Campbell today, Mum? I thought she was really lovely. She was a great guest. Yeah, really good guest. Good fun.

Good fun. Ate the food. Ate food. Warm. Really warm. Revealed. She kept it PG-13. Yeah.

We would love to thank everyone who has made Edinburgh Festival Table Manners Live possible. It's been a pleasure and we really do hope that we can come back again. And the people who travel from a long way. Thank you to, yeah, absolutely. That lady came from Barnsley

to come and see us in a caravan. Bless her. I think she did it in solidarity with the social work community. No, thank you to everybody who has basically taken a chance on us with our live show and eaten our food and laughed at our jokes and got involved when I shoved a microphone in their face and who's come up to us after saying that we remind them of their bickering relationship. It's heartwarming and it's been such fun

to meet some of you that listen to the show and we really hope that we can do more of these live shows. And thank you so much to the guests, Heidi, London and Grace. We hope this will keep you going until October when we're back with probably one of our most fabulous lineups yeah it's really exciting we won't disappoint we will not disappoint we're plotting as we speak an array of guests and we start recording this week so um we'll have lots and

lots lined up for you and we can't wait to give you another series of Table Manners. But thank you so much for listening to this mini-series in Edinburgh. Have a lovely summer. Happy summer. Happy holidays. Yeah, we'll be back in the autumn

when the leaves start to fall. Oh, very romantic. Thank you.