Tabs Out Cassette Podcast - Bonus Episode: Self Isolation | 4.14.20

Episode Date: April 14, 2020

Mike is joined by Ryan Masteller (from a safe distance) for a self isolation themed episode with tapes from Alone, Pink Desert, Yves Malone, Gay Cum Daddies, German Army, Germs, Colored Mushrooms and the Medicine Rocks, and a couple of phone calls.

Tabs out. Bonus episode. Too spooky. Way too spooky. Are you going to come in like we just picked a theme song and you introduce it? Oh, God. No. You don't think you got the chops, huh? I'm rusty.

Tell me all about it. Tabs out. Cassette podcast. Bonus episode. Very special bonus episode. I'm Mike. Hi, I'm Ryan. Who are you? What is going on right now?

You're who? Who are you all of a sudden? I'm Ryan. That's not one of the normal names. Who the hell is that? Yeah, I know. Ryan Mesteller. You called in

on the last few episodes. I did. You had your entire fucking family call in man what were you i apologize for them so yeah you guys got a party line or something like that yeah we do my brothers are like hi i'm ryan's brother i hung up on them so fast man i know it was great ryan deserved it yeah. Big time. They deserve worse than that. They're horrible people. Yeah, not a big fan. I can tell. Not a big fan.

No, they're not good. You're hanging on by a thread. I am, yeah. Mainly because you were writing all the reviews on Tabs Out. All of them. Yeah, I was. And then you just stopped, so I sucked you back in, and I said, Listen, pal, you got a little bit left to pay on your debt. You got to come in and do an actual podcast.

I know. I was writing so much, man. I had to take a break. Yeah. What was with that? Why were you writing so much? It's just fun to do. I like listening to tapes, if you can believe it.

I like listening to tapes. Okay, go on. The tapes worked. Oh,. I like listening to tapes, if you can believe it. I like listening to tapes. Okay, go on. The tapes worked! Oh, sometimes I like listening to records. Okay. Are you into records at all, or is it just tapes? I mean, for the bit of the show, I only listen to tapes. I never listen to anything else.

And I think also I should be confused by other formats. I should try to put records into... I should try to jam them into a cassette deck to try to get them to play. It's no bit. It's real life. Since we're all on self-isolation

right now. We're all staying at home. We are. I'm staying at home. I'm not going out there. Are you kidding me? Are you wearing a mask? You're not even wearing a mask right now. I all staying at home we are i'm staying at home i'm not going out there you're kidding me are you wearing a mask you're not even wearing a mask right now i'm not either are you wearing a mask you think you have to wear ryan you have to wear a mask in your own home are you sure yes have you been told you had to wear a mask in your own home i don't know what to believe anymore to be honest well you know like in a way we're all kind of wearing a mask yeah you know what i mean like we're all kind of wearing a mask yeah you know what i mean

like we're all like like when you're out there like everybody's kind of wearing a mask it's true it's true but we're doing the self-isolation and we're so we're doing a self-isolation episode a themed episode about just like you know isolating yourself and said you like, you said you like to listen to tapes. You already admitted it. So you can't take it back. I do. It's true. And I also admitted that I wear a mask in my house.

So I'm really good at this isolating thing. Well, like, and we, and like, in a way we all wear masks. Yeah, we do. In a way, in a way. Um, why I pulled some tapes. I got some tapes that we collaborated, if you will, on a list. Yeah. A little bit.

Let's just say we worked the hell out of this thing. We did. I learned some skills. A lot of people, you see the firemen cheering for the doctors and the nurses in New York, but it's like, what me what about we have to have we have to have people we have to have people cheering on me for doing the cassettes i know who else is doing the cassettes right now nobody that i know of no one that i know of or will and if i know that might stop paying attention right away and i act like they're not and i'm the only one. It's gotta just be me.

It's true. Well, Ryan, I picked out a bunch of tapes. You picked out a bunch of tapes. I got them all right next to me. I am good for one thing and it's being prepared and I have the list. Okay, well, go, man.

What should we put on here? All right, I'm gonna start at the top. And I'm gonna start at the top because this is by an artist called alone this is a this is on you by this is one of yours this is alone uh on you by alone on chondritic sound what year did this come out i don't know you're the you're the guy i'm working so many levers over here man i can't do that too what year did this come out? Let me guess. I'm going to guess

three... I'm going to guess 2013. You're off, but you're not going to like this once I tell you when this came out. 1969? No. Could you imagine? Talk about self-isolation. You'd never see me again.

Oh, I know. Seriously. I'm getting my mojo back. This came out... I can't even say this. No, Ryan, just say it. November 14th, 2016. Wait, why? November 2016.

I mean, this was like post-election. Wait, why? November 2016. I mean, this was like post-election. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Was that? Yeah, when was the election? I think that was it, wasn't it? No, was it the 14th? Oh, was this?

Everybody's alone, man. Man. I can't believe you would pick this. I can't believe you would invoke that goofball president of ours. He's such a goofball. He was the one that was telling me not to wear a mask. So I'm like, should I wear a mask in the house? Listen, listen.

The CDC has their opinions. He has his. We all have our own opinions. It's fine. It's fine. It's all fine. I'm going to wear it in the shower. It's fine. Yeah, that our own opinions. It's fine. It's fine. It's all fine. I wear it in the shower. It's fine.

Yeah, that's the thing. They tell you to wear the mask. They don't tell you when to take it off, though. No, they don't. What if you wear it in the shower? What if you wear it in the shower? I think it gets ruined, to be honest. I think that's a shortcoming of the CDC.

They tell you to put the mask on. They don't tell you to take it off. The CDC is not involved in showers. Except the ground will intersect with my trajectory You're going to use particles too small for gravity Chance of collision, chance of calamity We'll just go live-die, if twins we are Deploying the system the seed of the star You've told me you are

The seed of the star The Star No one is available to take your call. Please leave a message after the tone. Hey, what's up? Tab's out. I'm in Old Orchard Beach, Maine, watching the Slaves to the Grind documentary. Hope you're doing well out there. Peace. I really wanted to talk to you about some of these tapes you've been reviewing.

Worth a second look, I think. I want to thank you for all you do. Good night. Right now, I'm going to let you in on a little secret here, Ryan. You're not a pod... I got many years doing this shit, man. Eight years under my belt. All right, this podcast game. You're new at it.

You don't want to... These listeners, a lot of the Tabs Out listeners, I looked at our analytics. Mainly, it's dumbasses, dickwads. I use this tape to stimulate myself into having an erection. 8% jackbacks.

8% jackbacks. You don't want to make them feel too bad because they're already looking for a reason to leave. Oh, they are. Yeah. I know. They just can't figure out reason to leave. Oh, they are. I know. They just can't figure out where to go.

So let's cheer them up. Man, I'm looking at the pile. They're all bummers. They're all bummers. I mean, it's isolation. No, no, I got one. I got one. Okay, here we go. Here we go. I'm going to hold this up so you can say it. Oh, I got one. Oh, I got one. Okay, here we go. Here we go. Here we go. I'm going to hold this up so you can see it.

Oh, I am ready to get perked up. That is so colorful. I'm showing you this Noroco case here, and there's a sticker on the outside of the Noroco case. Okay. And it wraps all the way around. This label, some of the other Noroco cases, are spray painted on the inside to make it solid.

This one's just a white Noroco. Still looks nice, though. All right. What label are we talking about here as part of the surprise? We're talking about a label called Different Lands. Okay. Label that was from Allentown a few years ago. That's where I'm from!

You are not from Allentown. The Billy Joel one, you are. I was born in Allentown Hospital. Are you talking about Allentown, Pennsylvania? Allentown, Pennsylvania. Are you serious? Yeah. This guy, I don't know if he was definitely from Allentown Hospital. Are you talking about Allentown, Pennsylvania? Allentown, Pennsylvania. Are you serious? Yeah. This guy, I don't know if he was definitely from Allentown.

It might have been from around Allentown, but close by. But he used to run this label. He did a project called Pink Desert. Okay. And this is a Pink Desert tape. And it's beautiful, and it's colorful, and I dropped the insert. I'll be right back.

Yeah, alright. Alright. And the name of the tape is See You Later. Right. Because we're all in our let's face it, we're all in our shitty ass homes. Yep.

I mean, if you're a listener to this show, you're in your fucked-up shack that you got. My walls are falling down around me. Everything's falling down around you. It's embarrassing. But we're all in this situation. This shared isolation. Yeah.

But we'll see each other soon, right? That's right. That's the hope. That's the hope. See what you did? See what you did? You made people feel like shit. Like this was never gonna end. And then they look to me and

they say, Mike. They say, Mike. Thank you. Thank you for making me feel better. I'd kiss you if it was still allowed, which it's not. Kissing is also no longer allowed. No, it's not. Ryan, you too no longer allowed. No, it's not.

Ryan, do you tweet? Go ahead. You've done a great service. Constantly. Which one? What did I do? Pick one. They're all good. There's so many. There's so many. Did you tweet out our phone number?

Oh, yeah. It's out there. I wonder why no one's calling. No one's calling. No one calls. Why would they call? Why wouldn't you want to call me? Give me eight reasons why you wouldn't want to call me. Eight reasons? Don't really do it.

I won't do it. So, yeah, this label, Different Lands. I got them up there on the shelf. There's probably about 20 releases. Zephiadai, Pink Desert. Stuff like that. Maybe a Sky Limousine. That vibe.

At 2010, you're posting on Fangs and Arrows. You're not getting your orders in the mail. Yeah. Everybody's humming into the microphones it was a time when everyone was kneeling on the floor I don't think anyone figured out the table yet they were all on the floor this is 2010

we're still not allowed out of our houses right? we are not allowed out of our houses you know Eve Malone, he makes everybody happy with the synthesizers We're still not allowed out of our houses, right? No, we are. We are not allowed out of our houses. You know, Eve Malone, he makes everybody happy. That's true, with the synthesizers. Yeah, all those synthesizers. How can you not be happy, though? With all of those synthesizers, yeah.

Oh, it's wonderful. Taking a bubble bath with my synthesizer. I need to grab an Eve Malone tape. You want to try to... What do you want me to grab? Let's see. How about that Timble one? do you got the Timble one Bone Black I do yeah

I'm gonna go get it okay can you keep the show going when I get it this is gonna be tough yeah go oh this is great. Yeah. Here I am, hosting Tabzo, talking to you, listeners. This is terrible.

I think my brother's on the call in again. I will see my dream come alive and last. I will touch the sky. Who's going to call? Anybody? Ryan I'm so embarrassed I don't think I have that tape grab any of them then I don't think I have that tape what else name another one I'm so sorry. I feel so stupid right now.

I feel like... I'll have to cut this. I mean, I'll have to cut all this out. Give me another one. Oh, here we go. Ready? It's called The Most of What You Need Is All You'll Ever Have. Third kind. I knew that.

Now I'm going to feel like an idiot because I don't know exactly where that is on my shelf i got every other tape here oh you make me feel so stupid ryan and you do it on purpose i feel like i feel like you do it on purpose if you grab this tape off your shelf you're going to look at this you're going to look at how it's printed and you're just gonna be like no way wait a minute no way what is it where is's so cute. It's so pretty. Oh my God. Where do I keep third kind? Oh my God. This is embarrassing.

You know what the problem is? You know, the problem is they do so much random shit that it's all over the place. I know. It's not my fault. Yeah. They really did this all. They really fucked up this time.

They really did this. Oh, I see it. Okay. You got to hold it., you gotta keep this thing going yourself. All right. Wait till you see this tape, Mike. It is the most beautiful tape that you will ever have seen. Maybe.

I don't know. It's pretty nice, though. Got it. Nice. I know just what you're talking about. And I think we've played this before on the show. Oh, have you? Maybe.

I can't imagine that we didn't. This goddamn shell imprint. I know. Look at this thing. It's fucking outrageous. It's wild. It's the most wild thing I've ever seen. And boom goes the dynamite.

I know. You were right. They do this on their tapes. Their tapes are just stunning to look at. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Third Kind definitely isn't afraid to fuck around. That's for sure.

Yeah. And just do whatever. I know. What was that one that came in like that H.L. Collins or something like that? It came in that big yellow box with all the sandpaper or something inside of it. It was a whole conceptual thing. Oh my gosh, yeah. And then what else? There's that one that came with the pencil. That's what I was thinking of. Mud Corp. Oh snap. And that one, the shell had some real tight imprinting.

That was my favorite. Yeah, it had wood grain. But it's full onon flooded with it. It's tight as hell. I know. And the EQY one, too. That's, oh, gosh. Oh, that was like a full color. Get out of here.

Shit was crazy. I think it gets to a point, though, you can go too far. You think? I think you can go too far, and it's just like, slow down. You got to slow down a little bit. What's the point that's too far? I think when you start getting like really wild with the shell imprinting. Like that EQY tape is like a full color image that's like printed on the entire face of the tape.

And I think you get to the point where it's like just you got to pull the reins. I know you can do it. But your scientists are too focused I know you can do it. But your scientists are too focused on if they can do it. They're not spending the minute. Yeah, it's true. A lot of people

are coming up to me on the stream and telling me that's true. A lot of people. Don't over-imprint. So we didn't... Oh, somebody's calling. Oh, nice. Hello, you're on Tabs Out. Hey, Mike.

This is Harvey. Is this Harvey from TimeSuck calling again? Our only caller, our biggest fan. Biggest fan right here. Am I first again? You're first, last, and only, Harv. That's it? Can you hear the music that's playing right now yeah a little bit you want to take a guess on what it is is that the harry potter theme song it is the harry potter theme song good job nice guess

and boom goes the dynamite oh hey r, yeah, hey, how's it going? Not bad, how are you? Good, doing fine. What's actually playing? We're listening to the... Well, Ryan, why don't you explain it? Oh, yeah, we're listening to some Eve Malone. And we're listening to Eve Malone because, yeah, the word alone is in his name.

And, you know, this is like isolation. I'm sorry if that bums you out harvey ryan's really bad he's been he's been biffing all night and picking really bummers yeah it's a constant face planting harvey you you are you self we're doing a self-isolation episode we're kind of we're trying what what we're trying to do is explain the logistics of self-isolation through tape. Oh, good. Let some of these experimental people do the heavy lifting for us. That seems pretty self-explanatory,

right? What have you been doing in self-isolation? Hanging out with my dog, mostly. That sounds cool. Yeah. Yeah. That sounds cool. Yeah. Yeah. That's pretty much it.

Yeah. Calling you guys. Well, thanks for calling, man. You're the only one who ever wants to call. Maybe it's because people call. They hear you call, and then we just go like, what's up? And you go, I don't know. I've been with my dog.

And I go, okay. And they're about to dial the number. Then they're like, nah, what's up and you go i don't know i've been with my dog and i go okay and they're about to dial the number then they're like no what's the point yeah that's that's probably it i'm sorry to put a damper on your show like that no you don't have to do you want to pick a tape you want to pick a self-isolation tape oh oh gosh i hadn't thought about that no I like to put people on the spot I don't know what else has been played what have you guys been playing

well we started off with a tape by Alone on Chondritic Sound and then we went into Pink Desert, See You Later on Different Lands and that was Eve Malone. And I don't think we ever described fully the show, did we? Did we ever get there?

Oh, I don't think so. Do you want to do it now? Oh, yeah. This is like, gosh, what is it like? Thank you. Is it the white and pink one? You got it, Harvey. Yeah.

Oh, Harvey. Yeah. Damn. Damn, I feel like Harvey is more of a co-host than you ryan yeah he's doing way better than me thanks harvey you got harvey do you have a soundboard can you play any like cool sounds or anything like that i don't i could go inside and go on my computer but i would have to like pull up youtube maybe and i don't know if that's yeah i don't think that that's going to work.

No, you'll get a buyer from that website. Anything's better than what we've got going on right now. Well, you know what? I'm going to give you a little bit of some room here to breathe, and you can pick a tape, and it doesn't have to be self-isolation specific. It can just be maybe a tape that you want to listen to when you're stuck all by yourself. Well, you got that dog.

You're with the dog, though. Well, yeah. She's asleep on the couch, so it doesn't really count. Oh, yeah, she's barking. God damn it. Harvey, can you shut that thing up? Jesus Christ.

I have a question. She thinks I'm mad at her. Yeah. You played it, like, kind of recently. Maybe it was a few months ago. Welcome back to 120 Minutes. I'm Thurston Moore. What's that?

Thurston Moore? Harvey, what tape do you want to play? Welcome back to... I was going to say No Wonders in the Blues by Wes Tyree Again? It's a good tape And it's sitting in my sack right here Oh wait that's not what you

You had an Andrew Weathers tape last time Now you own Wes Tyree I confused the two They're very similar You gotta agree with me on that You gotta agree with me very much so Probably dusty shoes probably like a like a flannel shirt like a good belt like like a belt that they were like i'm gonna go i'm

heading into town i'm gonna give me a good belt you gotta admit that those three things I'm sure are true. Three. All right, so now I need to find a West Tyree tape, huh? And which one did you say? What did you say? Well, No Winners in the Blues is the one I have. Who put that out? Patient Sounds. I just moved all my Patient Sounds to the walls,

and I'm not, while I have Ryan Masteller on video here, I'm not letting him capture footage of me climbing up to get them and falling. Oh no. It's just not something I can allow. I can't let it leak. I don't know. You know what I can do?

I'm going to go for it. I'm going to stop my video and then you guys take over the show for a little bit, sounds good oh man oh he's gone he's gone he's off beautiful song to listen to? I will see my dream come alive at last. I will touch the sky. And they're not gonna hold me down no more. No, they're not gonna change my mind. Harvey, I can't find a West

Tyree tape. I just can't do it. Oh, no. I just can't do it. Can you pick an easier one? Let's see. Don't make me look so fucking dumb. Can you pick an easier one? Let's see. Don't make me look so fucking dumb. Gay cum daddies? I do have the gay cum daddies tape. Hell yeah. Which one?

Oh, which one? Jesus Christ. Hold on. Let me go get the one that I have, okay? He's climbing shelves again. Gosh, look at him go. You didn't turn off his video this time i'm watching oh man yeah i wish i could see this amazing oh he made it perfect landing yeah hey i got the gate the gay cum daddy's tape called crumbs oh yeah that's a good one. Yeah. On, uh, what's it, what labels it on?

Decoherence. Oh, decoherence. Yes. Yeah. Oh, nice. So what,

what, what about the day, the gay cum daddies is, um, is self-isolation for you? Um, just what I've been thinking about a lot. Yeah.

That's cool. That's cool. That's how I'm in. Who are the gay cum daddies? I don't really know much about the gay cum daddies. Ryan, do you know anything about the gay cum daddies? I'm fairly unfamiliar. I'm looking to get...

I do not get coherence, though. I'm looking for Harvey to clue me in on the gay cum daddies. Harvey, just unload all the information you got on the gay cum daddies. Well, there's... Harvey, just unload all the information you got on the gay cum daddies on me. Just let me hear it. Let's see. Hold on. Wait, what?

Nothing. Who's gay cum daddies? It says Reese, Kenny, Rick, and Rob. Oh, are you looking this up? You don't just know it? No, I'm looking at the J card. Oh, I could do that. Well, why don't you?

So you're looking at your card. Well, guess what, pal? Guess what, pal? Harvey, Harvey. Wait, why don't I? How about this? Why don't you get going? See ya.

And he's gone. Oh, bye, Harvey. And he's pick. Harvey, thanks for calling. Thanks for just being a huge goddamn fan. Loving everything. Thanks for constantly PayPal-ing me. And sometimes I send it back to him. It's so much.

I say, I don't need all of it. That's really generous. Harvey just put out a tape by Sub Lamp on his label Time Suck, which I bet you can go buy right now. You're at home. We know you're at home. Dude, you want to step outside?

I'm going to let this tape fade in. You want to try to guess what it is? It's on the list, so you've got it narrowed down. It's on the list. Go for it. And down go for it and don't look dumb and don't please don't prove this please don't make everyone think this is a bad podcast please that's okay please wait but I'll try please that would be mean this is nice

I feel like you got it if you really think about it all right This is nice. I feel like you got it if you really think about it. All right. And it's spot on for the theme. Is this... Is this Cosmonaut? I'm sorry. German Army. Oh, nice.

A tape on Golden Cloud. It's Golden Cloud tapes number 18. And the name of the tape is Remain in Exile. Yeah. Which is very... If you're a theme... If you're kind of a theme buff

and you see that come up as the choice, you know that you're dealing of a theme buff and you see that come up as the choice, you know that you're dealing with another theme buff. Somebody who really knows their shit. I think what's funny about this is when we were brainstorming tapes to play, you sent me the German Army tape. Which one was it? Year in Solitude? Year in Solitude, year of year of solitude

and i was like i can't find that but they have another one called remain in exile so luckily since they have like a new tape come out every month they do i think i can i think whatever theme we do you know you should just pick a pick another theme right now and i'll see if we can just go to it with a German Army tape I bet we could let's not do it because they are very far away did you know that German Army's Year of Solitude exists as a tape? I mean as a shirt

oh wait a minute I think I do have that are you sure that's what it's called? yeah Year of Solitude I think I do have that. Are you sure that's what it's called? Yeah, you're of solitude. And it's on Castle Bravo, right? Yeah, Castle Bravo. And it comes in like a box? Yes, maybe?

I have it, but I don't know. I think I do have that. That's higher than the patient sounds tape, so I'm not getting all the way over there. No, I wouldn't do it. Dangerous. Plus, if you're in solitude and you climb up those things and you fall, I mean, those ambulances can't get to you. They have better things to do right now.

No one's coming for me anyway. No one. Let me tell you something, Ryan. I've fallen in, like, normal times when the ambulances weren't busy. They still, they give me they give me the thumbs down they keep going they just don't come they just don't they don't come oh man i'm so glad harvey called otherwise this would be a total i know this would be a bullshit show but good thing harvey dug it out of the dumpster. Yeah, he did.

Maybe he'll call back. Come on, Harvey, call back. Harvey. Maybe I can call him. Oh, yeah. That would be some sad shit. That would be the best sad shit for a podcast. We're calling Harvey.

We started calling you. People are picking up like, hello it's tabs out we're calling up sorry about tapes I can't right now no did you notice I didn't call you in the first place that's the worst all right I tweeted

out the number again. Here we go. Oh, don't do it too much. We don't want to look too desperate. Oh, we're desperate. Yeah, it's ugly. Well, Harvey, let's let this... I called you Harvey. That's how good he was.

That's how good he was and how much I miss him. Ryan, let's let this German army tape play for a little bit let's do it I am scared. I am scared. I am scared. I am scared. I am scared. I am scared. I am scared.

I am scared. I am scared. I am scared. I am scared. I am scared. I am scared. I am scared. I am scared.

I am scared. I am scared. I am scared. I am scared. I am scared. I am scared. I am scared. I am scared.

I am scared. I am scared. I am scared. I am scared. I am scared. I am scared. I am scared. I am scared.

I am scared. I am scared. I am scared. I am scared. I am scared. I am scared. I am scared. I am scared.

I am scared. I am scared. I am scared. I am scared. I am scared. I am scared. I am scared. I am scared.

I am scared. I am scared. I am scared. I am scared. I am scared. I am scared. I am scared. I am scared.

I am scared. I am scared. I am scared. I am scared. I am scared. I am scared. I am scared. I am scared.

I am scared. I am scared. I am scared. I am scared. I am scared. I am scared. I am scared. I am scared.

I am scared. I am scared. I am scared. My hands stand in the air, your services. Living in a time of reaction, an opening of life. These things build on our skills. These things build on our skills. Thank you. I'm sensing a threat. I'm sensing a threat. This man is still in my skin. This man is still in my skin. I'm going to start with the

60s. I'm going to start with the 60s. I'm going to start with the 60s. I'm going to start with the 60s. I'm going to start with the 60s. I'm going to start with the 60s. I'm going to start with the 60s. I'm going to start with the 60s. I'm going to start with the 60s. I am the one who died.

I am the scale. It's time to be me. It's time to be me. He's been in his killer, and I've just killed him. Thank you. Oh, somebody's calling. Look at this. Oh, watch me not be able to pick it up. Hello, you're on Tabs Out. Hi, this is John.

Ryan suggested I call in. John who? Hey, John. Wait, Ryan, is this one of your brothers? Yes. No. No. We did not share last names.

Only high school attendance, I suppose. What are you, just getting your... Now you're getting your old high school buddies to call? No, John and I played Little League Baseball together. This is good stuff. True. Well, John, we're just over here playing tapes. How's that make you feel? Mike, wait, hold on

What? This is going to blow your mind, Mike Oh my god, what is it? John and I used to do a podcast together You're not trying to take over mine, are you? Maybe I won't allow it Well, John, what's up, man?

Yeah Not much You know, the same as everybody Nothing How are you? I won't allow it. Well, John, what's up, man? Yeah. Not much. You know, the same as everybody. Nothing. How are you? We're just self-isolating, and we're playing self-isolation tapes.

Self-isolation tapes? Well, tapes that maybe make you think about self-isolation. Maybe the name of the artist does. Maybe the name of the tape itself does. Okay. You got anything? It's a theme. You got anything that comes to mind? First of all, what podcast did you guys do?

The Critical Masses podcast. Please don't plug other podcasts on the show. I wanted you to type it in the chat, Ryan. Please don't. Sorry. I already told you. The listeners. dumbasses, jagoffs, shit for brains. We get a lot of shit for brains around here, it says. They don't even know that another...

If they hear the name of another podcast, they're jumping ship to that one. They're confused. All right, they're confused. It's been... The history and catalog of this podcast has been wiped from the internet as far as I could tell. You don't think I had a hand in that?

I build pretty good computers. Well, then I have you to thank. No problem. In your big podcast comeback that you're making here today, I don't know if you and Ryan set up some other sick shit that you were going to do, but do you want to pick a tape?

Out of all tapes of all time, or do I need to know what you have there? I picked the third one from the left. Third one from the left? I can do that. What is this? If you can pick one tape from all time, and Mike has it, I think that'd be impressive.

Um, it would probably be something similar to the stuff. I not to go back to that. I, I, I, I, I,

I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I,

I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I,

I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I,

I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I,

I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I,

I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I,

I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, in self-isolation. Do it. I spend a lot of time alone listening to Mike Oldfield. Mike, do you have any Mike Oldfield? No, but I'm definitely going to sample him saying that. I spend a lot of time alone listening to Mike Oldfield.

John, you just became a 10-time famous. It makes sense to me because he was the primary musician on all of his at least the good records like tubular bells was all him essentially yeah i just ridges the purges ridge is the best it's the best yes yeah it is i thought you guys weren't going to take over this fucking podcast now what's going on? Too late. John, you're gone. And he's gone.

I'm trying to... I did pick the third tape from the left. I was kind enough to do that. Every time I press... I've been pressing play on this thing the whole time and nothing's playing. So give was the third tape of the left it was this germs promotional tape that I thought it a thrift store like many

years ago it's a germs it, it's the it's a promotional only, not for sale tape, but from the forthcoming album Germs M.I.A. The Complete Anthology. Release date August 3rd 1993. Distributed by ADA Slash Records. And I was

thinking why are we in self-isolation? Because of these dang germs. You think I'm making that shit up? I want you to acknowledge how good of a job I did in picking that. So, that was fantastic. Because right now, germs are everywhere. I don't know if you knew that, but germs are everywhere.

Tell us a little bit about germs, Ryan. Okay, well, germs, they are microscopic organisms that get in your body, and they make you sick. They do? I love how this entire time I've been trying to turn you up, and I've been turning up the wrong channel the whole time. It's okay. Oh, I hear that guitar

You hear that? That is some punk guitar That is some punk rock guitar Sound like a beer can Is this Richie Dagger's crime? It is isn't it? Listen to the You ever have a mohawk Ryan? I never had a mohawk

My brother did though when they called in with the car. You want to call? That's who I want. That's who I was trying to get. Yeah. I got you. I know. I always wonder with, like, a tape like this, like this, like, you know, promotional thing

from, like, the label. Yeah. The Slash Records is putting out a Germs anthology. Yep. Slash Records is putting out a Germs anthology. They make a four song tape. So I guess get to like, you know, Rolling Stone gets one. You know, another place

gets one. What other music magazines are still around? That's a true story. Cream, right? Cream was done in the 70s probably. But how does this one copy get to a thrift store in Wilmington, Delaware? I don't know.

What is... I'd love to find out. That's impressive. How close is Wilmington to Philadelphia? Very close. So you probably got it. I bet you that was Wolfman Jack's personal copy. You think it was?

It might have been. Too scary. I been. Too scary. I know. Too scary. You want to sing along? No. Are you sure? You're supposed to say yes.

Yes. I invite you on my podcast, Ryan. Sing along to The Germs, please. Yes, I'll sing along to The Germs. You're lucky. You're lucky. You're lucky because I think the song's ending. My punk sensibilities tell me that song ended. Have you had to wear a mask yet outside?

No, not yet. But we have... I hesitate to admit this but we have now ordered them I cut my beard today in preparation for needing to go somewhere and wear a mask I think beards are sort of

petri dishes for germs aren't they mine most definitely is but that's yeah I'm not worried about that the antibodies in my beard are like I've built up so many that they can fight off anything I have a short beard so I'm not worried about that. The antibodies in my beard are like, I've built up so many that it can fight off anything. I have a short beard, so I'm in trouble. I notice.

I'm not intimidated by it at all. I'm not either. But do you think we should bring this episode to a close? We can. I don't think anybody else is calling. I don't think so either. You motherfuckers. Although Harvey just tweeted,

should I call Mike back and give him a piece of my mind? Yeah, if he wants to. I told him he said. No, I won't think so either. You motherfuckers. Although Harvey just tweeted, should I call Mike back and give him a piece of my mind? Yeah, if he wants to. I told him he said. No, I won't accept that call. Yeah, I wouldn't either. I'm not a man who's built to accept a piece of another person's mind. I can't do it. I can't handle it.

There's already too much in there, right? There's so much in there. It's overflowing. It's like a science project. It is. All right, bring us out. What do you think we should end this with how are we going to end this one oh gosh i think we need to heal i think we need to heal ourselves what do you think i agree i like i'm thinking i'm thinking cosmonaut songs for healing pat Patrick R. Park out of Colorado.

And, oh, man, his stuff is great. We do need some healing. Flatten the curve. You got to flatten the curve. Have you been having the same issue where you will look at a chart on the Internet that has maybe someone. Oh, that was a warble. Maybe somebody posted their hiking stats. Or maybe someone posted some plays on Bandcamp or something.

I don't know. Yeah. Is this tape supposed to sound like that? I have no idea. I think this deck's giving way. This ain't playing right. That can't be playing right. Oh, my God.

The virus got it. Oh. I think this deck's getting... Cosmonaut. Not Cosmonaut. You know what the problem is? What's the problem? I've noticed with this deck up here, and Cosmonaut,

you're very, very big Biff. Very big Biff. I noticed with a long tape, it doesn't want to play a long tape anymore. Well, that's too bad. Yeah. The other side will, but I don't feel like reaching all the way over to it. So you know what? I'm going to get you out of this

Biff. I'm going to get you out of this. Because you were talking about healing. And we do need healing. Oh, but like I was saying before, you ever look at an unrelated graph, just something, anything, and all you can think about are COVID statistics? Yes. A friend of mine posted there they went hiking and they posted the stats on Instagram. As soon as I looked at it, I saw the line go up. I was just like, oh no, what's happening? Why is there a line going up? Why does the line go straight up?

It can't. We've got to flatten these curves. Even in hiking. Flatten the hiking curves. Yeah. Every curve needs to be flattened. Every chart. We need to flatten all the charts. Let's see if this needs to be flattened. Every chart. We need to flatten all the charts. Let's see if this tape starts to play.

Here we go. You're not a doctor. Here's a tape we can go. Let's go out on this. And you know what it is? All right. I don't know. This does have to do

with healing. Not in the, you know, your traditional city folk healing. Not in the, I know in the lower 48 they like to use

store-bought healing. This is some. the lower 48 they like to use store-bought healing this is lower 48 this is this is some good old-fashioned colored mushrooms and the medicine rocks because i don't do no vaccines i don't do no big city vaccines i don't do any of this stuff i don't i don't do any of that i do I don't do any of that. I do the wholesome stuff. The shit that you pick out of your backyard. If you can't pick it out of your backyard and rub it on your skin to make yourself better, I don't want it.

Have you ever seen a sliced banana before? This is... Color Mushrooms and the Dice and Rocks Sunshine Units is the name. I believe that's the name of the tape. This is John Elliott. Cleveland, Ohio. Spent some time. He just put out

an Imaginary Softwoods record. He used to play the electronic synthesizer in the Emeralds trio. Yes. Love the Emeralds trio. Yeah, man.

So, Ryan, do you think we should just this will be our healing moment we'll go out on this tape let's go out on this tape medicine rocks you know what I think we should do what's that I guess just continue to stay in our homes and not do anything for a very long time

self isolate self isolate oh here we go now it's a party and not do anything for a very long time. Self-isolate. Self-isolate. Oh, here we go. Now it's a party. All right, Ryan. Thank you for doing this, man. Thank you.

That was awesome. Yeah, I'll talk to you later. All right, bye-bye. Bye. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. No one is available to take your call. Please leave a message after the tone. I was just coming to apologize for saying you should read the J card. Yeah, my apologies. Hope to talk to you again soon.

Bye.