Tabs Out Cassette Podcast - Bonus Episode: Third Kind Records | 8.16.20

Episode Date: August 16, 2020

Nick Langley from Third Kind Records pops in to discuss some of the often confusing releases on his label with cuts from Nikmis, EQ Why, Stewart Chalmers, and others.

How's the sound now? Because I've been trying to get this microphone working. That sounds really good. It's just not having it. Can you hear me now? Yeah, that's good. Can you hear this? Oh, yeah.

I'm so glad that you can. I love it. That's the sound that follows me everywhere I go. Oh, that's so sad. That one wasn't me. I was doing the little dance that went with it, but you can't see. That was wasted. Tabs out. Bonus episode.

Too spooky. Way too spooky. Tabs out, cassette podcast, bonus episode. I am Mike here with a very special guest, and let's just get right into it. Who are you? What do you do, and why are you here? And what do you want? And where are you?

I'm in Brighton. My name's Nicholas Langley, and I run Third Kind Records. If you get it in order, you get extra points. And you are joining us. This is the third time that third time, third time, third kind. Yeah. Do you hear it? I have to do everything in threes, yeah.

Do you hear it? This is like the third time we try to do this because we biff big time. We biff big time on a few of these. I think what happened the first time? You didn't realize America had more than one time zone? I left you hanging. I left you and the boys hanging. You got to get a new clock over there. I thought Big Ben had

everybody covered. No, it doesn't bong anymore. You don't hear about that. It's big news in Britain. What happened to it? It doesn't bong. It's like a whole thing about, you know, everyone's trying to get it to bong again it's the main issue of great well i hope you guys get that all sorted out the second time

we did a super episode me you everyone was there we were all there it's i don't know lost tapes yeah exactly it's one of those things that like just let it go down in history is something that happened as legendary smile album or something yeah exactly exactly except with in this case um it sounded like shit complete dog shit unusable uh we're not going to get into who's the smile album don't mess with the beach boings all right but nick you're here finally it's just me last time i wore my beach. It's just me and you. Hey, Mike, last time I wore my Beach Boys hat, especially for you, and you didn't even notice. You wore a what now?

A Beach Boys boings hat. Well, if you remembered last time, you were having a little bit of trouble staying on camera. You were scrambling. You were all over the place, and it made me very angry because I thought it was a bit. Yeah, it's true. Turns out you were just stupid. But now it's just me and you.

We're here. We're here to talk about your label. For those who don't know, for those idiots out there who don't know, fill them in. What is Third Kind? It's like the best tape label ever. It is. They gave you that. That's not true. it is a good label definitely top 150 tape labels of this decade in the 2020s of the 20 of this year well you know top 100

actually hold on let me um you're saying top 150 let me see let me put in um this is tense this could be embarrassing well done no 151 it says 151 so you're the 151st there's a lot of these fuckers out there man don't feel bad about yourself there's a lot of them they're everywhere but you are uh one of the one of the ones that are we'll just say one of the ones happening let me let me give it let me give it let me get a shot at it okay official piece don't i need your total attention if this is going to happen i need eye contact the entire time this is gone i feel like let me know if i'm wrong i'm to give a shot in the dark here.

I think you're a label that you want people to listen to the stuff you put out. And you put out good stuff. Interesting stuff. Adventurous stuff. Cool stuff. Neat stuff. And you want people to listen to it. And oftentimes they can. But I feel...

Oftentimes they can. Most of the time. And it's enjoyable because everything looks good. But I feel like sometimes you don't want it to be as easy for some reason. It's almost like a little like... Like you got a bee in your bonnet about somebody just getting a tape, having a Norelco, having a J card, and calling it a day. No, we don't do Norelcos anymore.

They break. I just... Nah. You don't do any... You don't do Nualcos anymore. They break. I just, nah. You don't do any? You don't do a third kind? That's one thing about third kind. Completely indestructible packaging. No Nualcos anymore. It has to be paper.

So paper's way more sturdy. Respond to what I said. How close am I to that being third kind? What is, tell me in your own words now. Now that you heard mine, now you do yours. Alright, is it my turn? It is now your turn. This is all about you,

like I said before, Nick. No, I think most of the time... Shut up, shut up, shut up. Like I said before, this is all about you, okay? This is all about you, except when I'm talking. Alright, go ahead. It reminds me of that Krista Berg song, Lady in Red. This is the vibe you, okay? This is all about you, except when I'm talking. All right, go ahead. You know, it reminds me of that Krista Berg song, Lady in Red.

This is the vibe I'm getting. Anyway, the original tapes, I guess, maybe I made them difficult to listen to because nobody was listening to them. So it was like, well, screw you then. I'm going to seal it, screw it shut, and you'll never listen to it. I think these days it's not so much like that.

No, but you are still, there's still stuff going on like you'll you'll release something and like say it's like um what do you i got a nykmous tape here tell me about this nykmous tape what is it we got a lot of nykmous tapes which one is it you got a lot of them it's this one it's a gold tape is the best one did i pick the best one this is your favorite one i got a few here who's nickmas uh oh god um william simpkin williams and this is destroy i'm gonna destroy the mistake yeah so nick miss his name is uh simpkin. It's his surname. Simkin Backwards? Yeah. It's his surname, Backwards. Nickmas.

Oh, I get it. Oh, well, Jesus Christ. You're right. You know what? I'm looking right at it. Simkin. You're right. It is.

Did he know that when he picked it? Or was that like... Pure coincidence. Did you bring it to his attention? So, okay. where was that like pure coincidence did you bring did you bring it to his attention so okay this nick tell us a little bit about nick miss this seems like a good example of one of the artists that you want people to listen to right i really do because i got some other ones here i need to grab tools to get them open no no i don't want people to listen to those okay we'll get to those later let's talk about nikmas first i think he uh i think he is from canada possibly or texas i don't know somewhere over your way wait a minute wait a minute just let me grab a map real quick the americas

all right i got one that was fast i i keep my map it's it's very far away, but I have a clean, it's a beeline to it. So you were saying he's either from Texas or the Canada. Yeah. One of those. And you're saying, and you said that area, you count that as an area. That's an area to you.

Yeah. Yeah. That's area. Nick. I like it. Go on somewhere. And I think possibly he's from both of those places or something. Anyway, he lives in Japan now,

and everyone keeps calling him a Japanese artist, but he isn't. I think he gets very upset because, you know, it steals from Japanese artists. Oh, has that been happening? I don't know. So he's been in Japan. Well, I think he gets mistaken for being a Japanese artist,

but he's always quick to correct people. How quick? How quick? How quick? Like that quick? Not as fast as you. Not as fast as you. No, no, no, no. So you put all this Nickmas stuff out. Where did you happen upon Nickmas? Oh, Orange Milk. Oh.

Orange Milk. Those old lads, get out of here. Yeah. In fact, it's in my my reach i didn't even have to run like you did at all it's there it is what do you got there that's the nickname it's got like a one of seth's covers is that it's got some lightning some laser coming out of a like a matt's guy who's whose artwork on orange milk do you like more seth's or keith's oh controversial um yeah i like them both a lot if the answer is keith rankin is there a correct how much okay next question how many how many artists have you just straight up stolen from orange milk just straight up thieved from them

so far it's only three or four oh no that's not good that's also but i'm definitely in talks with a fourth or fifth one yeah okay okay talks okay good anything you want to say to him right now please please no that won't work Thank you. Thank you. let's move on have you ever sold what was the quickest tape you've ever sold out of uh i think it was endurance do you know him who was you know him? Of course you know him. Who? Joshua from another American Japanese artist. He's from Texas and Canada. Texas and Canada, one of those, you know.

Hold on. That sold out really fast. Why? What do you think you did right there that you didn't do right on some of your other ones? We sort of put some Japanese writing on the front, that sort of thing. Oh, that goes... I think people think it's Vaporwave then, don't they? So they just buy it. And then they just listen to it afterwards. Well, with Vaporwave, it's not really...

They're not buying it. It's more of an investment. Like, you put that shit away. You're tripling your investment with that shit. I bought my second house with vaporwave tapes but you kind of expect to see it on uh like discos don't you for like 60 quid or what but that hasn't happened wait that hurt sorry some of them will be loud let's move down the row a little bit from okay so nick miss, awesome design. Who did the design on your Nick Miss tape? That was Molly on the first one.

It's got another cover on the inside, because they're all reversible. Well, up until the last one, they're all reversible covers. I notice you do that a lot, the reversible covers. I like that. Only with Nick Miss. That's his thing. That's his special treat. Ah, a little

specialty, eh? I like that? I like it even more now. Got to keep him interested. Very good. I never fold them the other way, though. Whatever way they are sent to me is the way I have to keep them. Oh, really? I guess. I don't know. How do you feel about that? You want me to change it?

Yeah, like weekly, fortnightly. But, yeah, at least once a year so nick miss we got the that's an easy one to listen to then we move on to maybe like oh i don't know this uh this stewart chalmers acid wave head rush tape and it's a little bit harder isn't it to listen to you guys it's kind of like this is a shiny thing listen to the side shine everyone oh yeah the shiny thing i would buy it and then it salts their ears but it's kind of a gentle assault i think you so your plan was to trick people into buying it because it was it was shiny that's what you're

doing yeah what i was getting at was you get it if first of all it looks like it could be sharp into buying it because it was shiny. That's what you're doing? Yeah. What I was getting at was, you get it. First of all, it looks like it could be sharp and it looks like it could hurt me. And also, I don't know if you've been seeing these protests. Sometimes cops get the light shined in their eyes and they're blind forever. And our boys in blue are blind forever.

Don't make me cry. So, before this is over, I will make you cry. I have to say. It's possible. I think I cried for a couple of hours Don't make me cry. Before this is over, I will make you cry, I have to say. It's possible. I think I cried for a couple of hours on the first two takes. Did you cry? You were crying during those.

But this tape, you do a little something special with the packaging. You got these little reflective squares on it. Some of them are cut out. I don't know if that was a mistake. Is mine broken? No, I had to spend ages cutting out the same squares on on each tape that was the hard bit oh hold on so i wanted them to be exactly the same okay stop right there is that true or you are you making fun of me no no no no it's because if i find out if i find out you're making fun of me i'm gonna be so sad they're all the same they're all exactly the same like the square that's cut out is i don't know i just wanted it to look like that so you have this so

you can see the shiny tape under the shiny case so it's cool it has different dimensions to it as you look at it you can see right through it like you can see right through one hole and it goes all the way through the tape yeah hold it up i am holding up. I am holding it up. I'm looking right now Square you can see right through right Right through the little square. No. Yeah, no No, you know, you know the goon is the no to the goon is when he holds up the No, dick. I can't see through the other square at all. I can't ask for the treasurer's I can't see through the other square at all. I don't know what you're talking about. You did mine wrong

Can I have another one? You're not in the right location? You need't see through the other square at all. I don't know what you're talking about. You did mine wrong. Can I have another one? You're not in the right location. You need to be in the right location so it lines up. No, you screwed this up. You screwed this up, man. And you wonder why I was confused about the time sense. I know. Is there anything you can get right on the first shot?

Have any third-kind releases, have any of the packaging been mistakes? Oh, yeah. Yeah, lots. Oh, well, early on. Early on, particularly. I mean, the H.L. Collins thing was definitely a mistake, you know?

The big-ass yellow box. The big-ass yellow box, which is just massive and costs about £30 to ship anywhere. Let's talk about that like we didn't talk about let's talk about that for the first time okay do you want to do you want to talk about this hl columns box oh there it is you got one of the uh the landscape orientation ones that's unusual that's uh oh is this a rarity that will get you an extra extra couple of quid on this hello hello let me get on right now and a duck bought it so you got these yellow boxes yeah they were supposed to be like you know the barry center tape that's just come out that's kind of in the hell yeah hell yeah i know they're black neat black box

very tasteful oh tasteful isn't the word it like a jewelry box you'd put a bracelet in it I would put a bracelet no Nick it's not that it's so nice a monkey bracelet it's so nice

I would put a bracelet in it it's not that I could put a bracelet in it the box is so nice the box that you have there

that you made for that Barry Center tape but what are you going to do with the tape once the tape is so nice that I want

a bracelet to be with I want to give the tape a bracelet it's so beautiful and i want it i want it to be a romantic occasion yeah and then you got the other artwork the artwork is a monkey right it's a monkey yeah it's a uh snuff nose monkey a snuff nose monkey giving like a peace sign is that monkey doing it no sign language it's uh it's saying follow me i will show you things who did that art uh it's by kate tomb who's um uh very talented like embroidery artist she did the art for the ember quick beam and graham dunning album as well and

i know i know about this tape a little bit because mark this is his Mark Williams who did Barry Center we should say R.I.P. got beat up no longer no longer around that's his last tape as Barry Center apparently so he was here for maybe he was here talking about it for one of the previous the bullshit episode that just didn't work out maybe

it's just but uh that's that's a good fucking tape, man. That's a tape that I... Yeah, that's our 50th one. That's our 53rd release, so it had to be a big one. Oh, well, congratulations. Well, you say it had to be a big one.

Thank you. Thank you very much. Yeah, do you want to accept this award? Go ahead. Congratulations, by the way. 50th release. Thank you. I hear no one else has put out a 50th release

on Third Kind Records yet Barry if you're listening come back and congratulations on the tape selling well and stuff

but that box that's a good sized box I'll put that on my shelf it won't take up a lot of room it won't take I like a tape that doesn't take up a lot of real estate if you know what I mean Nick yeah I like it gets it gets a bit it puts you off doesn't it

nowadays i wouldn't buy anything that was bigger than you know like a double cassette type yeah i gotta face now especially now man i got a bug out bag in case shit goes crazy and i gotta run over texas over the border into canada and i fucking i can't be filling that shit with huge ass packaging you know i got just my essentials in there brother I mean what do you expect from me it's just me and my duck but this HL Collins thing you ordered boxes they're not

listen let's just be real this wasn't the right size so the box was like maybe six times bigger than it was supposed to be so I just kind of made the best of it really you're being conservative with six times I gotta say it's a big-ass box, man. This might be... This is definitely the biggest box I have for a tape

where there's only one tape in it. No, there's two tapes in it. You were mugged. Come on, man. There's definitely two in it. Come on, man. One of them's short. Oh, my God.

No, I was just testing you. I knew there were two tapes in this. Oh, my God. No, I was just testing you. I knew there were two tapes in this. Get out of here. How do I open this thing? Who is H.L. Collins? I'm going to talk you through this because I said it's Henry, Henry Collins, and he ripped the thing apart, destroyed it.

Yeah, you're supposed to undo the seal. There's like a seal on it this is a tampon and then once that's open you can like slide slide it out slide out what tell explain what's in the innards do you tell me why there's a there's like some spongy, you know, containment. And what's in it? A spongy containment vessel. What's in it and why is it in there?

It's got two tapes in there, Mike. One of them is like a decent length one and the other one is quite short. And then it's got like some sandpaper type stuff and a piezo. Are they called piezos? I should have looked this up before. Piezo, yes. it means pizza yes it means pizza drowned yeah it's so it's the kind of contact mic pizza yeah and uh i'm saying contact microphone and uh that's the kind of thing that he was using to make the the sounds that were on that album so this twisted fucking genius is using like sandpaper

and the Italian pizza mic and he's making shit with that so you said I'm going to give you your BHL Collins at home kit with his recordings that's what you did

that's exactly it my voice went way up high it's the excitement With his recordings. Yeah, yeah, that's it. That's what you did. Okay, okay. That's exactly it. And then... I wanted it... My voice went way up high. Down the wall. It's the excitement. Calm down. Do you need a moment? Yeah.

Breathe. Uh... It's gone. I've forgotten. What? You okay? Get over here! You alright Nick? What word are we talking about again? I don't know. Oh yeah so the box was meant to look like something like an old thing you'd find in a toolbox or something, yeah?

Like it'd have some sort of wallpaper scraper inside it or some matches or some polyfiller or something. So that was the idea, that it would just look very old. So that's the thing with the writing and stuff. And you want people. You want people to make stuff with the stuff inside, is what you're saying. That's what you want. And record over the tapes that are in there? Yeah, they can do that.

Yeah. Okay. This doesn't seem like a good business model, but what do I know? Thank you. Okay, here's a mind puzzle for you, and let me see if you can do it. What was the label's first release? And tell me a very recent release, but don't tell me more than one release. Well, Hashtag Z Malik and Nicholasolas langley's uh well it's actually called music by has the magic i knew you could do it i knew you could do it i lobbed that one up too that was easy so what is this you just re-released your first release for funsies yeah so the story is

basically that um uh me and has needed a couple of albums uh early on in the in the labels history and uh names i said well this one and then there's another one which was even more unimaginatively type imaginatively titled c60 and c90 but the um we said uh we know we wanted to do a new album just so we could get Tiny Little Hammers to design it. You know this guy, right? I know Tiny Little Hammers. Yeah. Yeah.

How tiny do you think those damn hammers are? Like this. That small, huh? Let me see. Do it again. Make the sound again, too. Yeah, that's probably how small they are. Yeah, that's the label

Field Hymns. Is that another... Nick, is that another kind of influence for Third Kind along with Orange Milk Field Hymns? It sure is. You would say so. They're very good influences. You've been influences by some good boys.

You're keeping around with a good crowd. Where am I going to dig them out? No, I'm not. I'm on the other side of the room. I can't find them. But yeah, Yves Malone. And we did an Yves Malone tape as well. And Tiny Little Hammers designed that. And that was very satisfying.

So you saw the artwork he did for that tape. And you were just like, I'm shook. I lost my shoes. I lost my shoes. Yeah, and you had to have more. You needed more. And it had to be for you.

It couldn't be for someone else. This time it had to be yours. It had to be for Hasley's music. You know, this sort of weird, squelchy, sort of science fiction type squelchy space music and it was like we gotta get this guy to design it but we hadn't got any new music so i thought well no one really got the first tape so let's just release that and get into redesigning so hold on i might hold on hold on hold on this is a bootleg let me get this straight make sure

you're not doing anything illegal okay because i'll send your ass to tape, hold on, hold on. This is a bootleg. Let me get this straight. Make sure you're not doing anything illegal, okay? Because I'll send your ass to tape jail. Hold on. Did you make more copies of the tape, or did you just grab the tapes out of the old packaging and put them into a new cover? And you have to tell me. Nick, you have to tell me the truth.

You simply have to tell me the truth. Please tell me. I don't think they didn't do this stuff. They didn't do this sort of thing back then. You have to tell me the truth. You simply have to tell me the truth. Please tell me. I don't think they didn't do this stuff. They didn't do this sort of thing back then. Oh, yeah, you're holding up a very, very, very cool-looking shell, buddy. It's swirly, you know? It's a swirly tape.

That's how you know. That's how you know that it's not just... We didn't just rip open the old ones. That's one thing I can always expect from your label. You go that little extra mile or i guess you call them a kilometer you do it no we don't call them kilometers no what do you call miles you use miles over there yeah we use miles and these pints uh yeah we mostly but we do say centimeters and millimeters more than inches and stuff. What was I talking about? Metric systems.

Something about the metric. I forget. Oh, that's one thing I like about the label, I was saying. You always go that little extra mile. Maybe you have these shells that are very full color what is it pad printing maybe you're doing there it's another level you're going that eqy tape insane shell that yeah that eve malone tape you mentioned has insane shell swirly looking colors full print um tell me i went to town on the eqy one because i was a big fan of his stuff yeah another another um orange milk discovery uh so i just kind of got a bit overwhelmed and

ended up basically doing two whole complete designs for that album so there's like the hip-hop kind of design because we were talking about i think it was public enemy they've been chuck d had been posting uh his kind of hip hop tapes, 90s hip hop tapes and I saw it and I was like, shit, we could do something like that and then weirdly I got a message from EQY saying let's do a 90s hip hop

tape, we both had the same idea which was great so that came out like that and I'd already got this artwork from my friend Matt Lloyd who lives in New Zealand now. But he'd done this artwork. Remember when you're showing me the art,

only I can see it, okay? Remember that only I can see it. Everybody else is only going to be there. The people, like God forbid anybody listens to this. I doubt it won't be many people, but they're not here right now. They're not? They're not, like, with me. No.

Like, I'm not with. There's COVID-19. I thought they were behind you. No, not during the pandemic. During the pandemic, people have to listen to this online and on their phones and stuff. I see. Yeah, okay. Nobody's here.

Because not everyone lives in the Canada, Texas area, so it would be difficult. Hold on. Let me look real quick. No, just a bunch of crickets and my duck. From this feeling Thank you. And it's this good there's no staying home And it's this good there's no staying home And it's this good there's no staying home And it's this good there's no staying home And it's this good there's no staying home And it's this good there's no staying home Thank you. Motherfucker

Motherfucker Onsenko, Onsenbui Thank you. I'm so weak, I'm so cold, I'm so weak, I'm so weak, I'm so weak I'm a good man Well, tell me about, speaking of all the crazy shells, tell me about, there's one out there, Nick, wood. It looks like wood. Is this a surprise to you? It looks like wood. There's a wood, like the cassette shell itself, wood. It looks like wood. Is this a surprise to you? It looks like wood. There's a wood, like the cassette shell itself, wood grain. My God, it looks like you'd fool Jesus, the first carpenter.

He would think this thing was wood. Tell me about this and tell me about all the accoutrements, all the niceties that come along with it. Tell me about everything. Okay, so this was Mudcorp, and it was, yes, he's a Belgian artist. Not your first Mudcorp tape, right? It's not, no, and very few people have got that because I only made, I could only get like 35 boxes, so there were only 35 copies of that. There's so many that you got we weren't we're not even going to be able to cover all the weird boxes i'm looking at it right now it's a weird box we could do like

you know what's what do you call this tabs out extra tabs out uh bonus episode is it or something don't act like you don't know come on it's bonus uh doobahickey. You could do a bonus box episode. A bonus box episode? We can do it right now. Boxes of our times. You want to do it right now? You want to do it? Hold on.

Do you want to have your own section called Nick's Boxes? Nah. Nah. I didn't want you to have that either. No, but the mud court tape, this is a weird box. This is like a little uh i don't even know what you would call this box or where you got it it's a weird it's got this little freaky little medieval boy on the front it's like a little doodle of uh some like very

disappointed looking medieval child too scary i think he might be an elf is he an elf i don't know i don't want anyway i don't want to die it. I don't want to do it. No, no, that could get problematic. I don't want to do that one. I want to do the wood one. I told you, the wood. I already said how. It's the wood one, man. Look, it's the wood one.

I already said I need the wood one. The wood. Tell me all about this thing. First of all, where are you getting these things done? Where is this happening? Is this Texas, Canada? Where is this going on? These get laser printed in um

somewhere like portsmouth or something like that laser printed they're using freaking lasers on these things yeah are you serious i've never heard of such a thing is that that's safe that's safe to do that for the tape yeah Yeah, I think so. It doesn't just shoot right through the frigging thing, huh? Man. Do you think they have different settings on there? So you could just destroy it. You think they got wood grain as a setting, a laser setting? Yeah, so wood grain. Destroy side A, erase side B.

Death Star. Yeah, that kind of thing. They can do anything from blow up the planet To just erase one side of the tape On a real low setting Yeah or just sort of Well tell me about this Warm it up slightly

I want to know about this Everything What is it you want to know about it? I mean I'd like to know everything You can tell me just a little bit if you want to I think for a matter of content-wise, I would say tell me two minutes. So it's kind of fun techno-y stuff.

You were talking about music all the time. Oh, Jesus Christ. I mean, we can play. Here's the thing, though. You can talk about the music if you want. You can say, oh, this synthesizer or whatever. You can talk about the music if you want. You can say, oh, this synthesizer or whatever. You can do all that shit if you want.

I'm going to be playing the fucking tape. People are going to be hearing it. Oh, are you? That's great. God willing, if I can hook all these wires up, I'm going to play the tape. What you can do though is just stop playing coy and tell me about this fucking pencil

because you know what i'm getting at ah the pencils sorry yeah so this of course of course we're going to listen to the tape nick but not all the tapes in the like okay the reason why let's start again let's start again the entire it's gonna make it so much easier to edit yeah Yeah. This whole section. Oh, just the section. The wood bit. The wood bit. I thought you meant the whole episode.

You want to start just the section over? I can do that. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hey, Nick, you got any wooden tapes? Oh, yeah.

We do, actually. Yeah. We've got this tape that looks like it's wood. Should I show the listeners that one? Yeah, that's the mud. Holy moly. Is that thing wood? That thing is actually wood, I think. Yeah, it. We've got this tape that looks like it's wood. Should I show the listeners that one? Yeah, that's the Mud Corp tape. Holy moly, is that thing wood? That thing is actually wood, I think. Yeah, it looks like mud, right?

Whoa, that thing's actually wood. Did I say it looks like mud? No, it looks like wood. Yeah, that's Mud Corp, and it's like sort of fun techno music, which I'm sure you will play in a minute. No, no, no, no, no. It's not working. Don't talk about that.

You fucked up, man. I know. Let's start again. Go on. Say the word thing. Say word. Just say the word would. Okay, hold on.

Hold on. I think I can do something. I think I can. Let me get something real quick. Ready? all right that's your sign that's your wood yeah go go go wood yeah we've got this tape that looks like it's made out of wood no what about it and a guy yeah yeah jesus christ that's what we do that's how we roll we have tapes made of wood are you fucking with me because that really does look like wood that looks exactly

like wood yeah i know yeah i like playing with people's mind because you know you get you get the tape you get it out the envelope your eyes open the norelka box in this case and then you get uh a wood like a block of wood and you're like yeah i know but it's not wood it's something else it's it's a tape that's kind of printed with wood and it just looks like wood kind of i had to actually yeah so should i tell you how to make it make it so i basically know no what kind of music i wrote on it and then I took a picture of it and then printed that on the tape. And that's what you get. So you,

like a doodle. You made a doodle on the wood. Yeah, I wanted, we wanted the album to be like something like, Let me ask you this. Something fun from a classroom. It sounds like fun.

When you scratch stuff on the desk. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Mud cork, wasp, yeah,

type stuff. On the desk, yeah, yeah. Stuff like Mudcorp, Waspia type stuff. On the desk, yeah, yeah. It says third kind for Evs. 3K. Okay, yeah. And speaking, Nick, speaking of like scribbling and scratching, you're writing on the desk. Oh, yeah, so.

You ever make a pencil? Yeah, so we did pencils with this no because there was still there was otherwise you know we didn't want people we didn't i didn't want him to get any money from this tape i wanted to spend any money that was raised from this yeah yeah exactly um that'd be that'd be fucked up if you ever put out people's music i know and then actually got a money for it that that would be cool i know you don't care the key the key is to make the release really expensive uh with with random shit like pencils so you add them to it and then there's and there's nothing sorry man there's nothing for you nothing left sorry but

there's nothing so i'm a big apologies but there's nothing. Big apologies, but there's absolutely... It's not my fault. What can I do? It's the pencils. After the pencil budget, there's nothing left. I didn't want the pencils. A lot of people talk shit on Spotify. You've got to have the pencils. If you're going to be on Third Kind, you've got to have pencils or some other random stuff like that. There's going to be

hair inside. There's going to be something expensive and pointless. Yeah, yeah. A lot of people talk shit on Spotify about how they don't pay artists well but like and we don't know what kind of pencils they're getting nobody knows about the pencils and then you're doing pencils for people you ever thought about doing that just just instead of putting out a tape just do a pencil skip the whole skip this whole bullshit with the music and stuff I mean you're not talking about it.

It's got the name of the album on it, and that's it. And that's the album. That'd be pretty cool. What else do you want? I mean, coming up, the title is the hardest thing anyway, right? Thank you. what tape you want you want tape you let's end this let's end this

let's let's let's be done here I've had enough I don't blame you we're ending the episode it's been a long week we've been here for an hour and a half three hours I've had enough. I don't blame you. We're ending the episode. It's been a long week. We've been here for an hour and a half, three hours,

been here all day. It's 10, 15 in the nighttime. What tape? I got a stack of tapes here. Let's keep in mind, speaking of you doing extra stuff, even though it's cool, but you do a tape on your label, nobody ever getting paid somebody might almost get paid but then the last minute you spend the money on like socks or something that say like barry center along the

side barry on one side i mean come on they should be expecting this kind of stuff what kind like let's real quick before we go out on the tape let's brainstorm let's say you put out a tape for someone like 369 we're coming up to 369 you are coming up to number 69 aren't you you are doing that let me just say something I noticed when you put out number 50

and I said well when you put out number 40 when third guy number 40 came out I said huh he's really these numbers are getting higher. I think, I think, I think I know what he's doing. Then you did number 15.

I said, I got him pegged. This guy's heading for 60. He's heading for 69. Like he's on his way there. You're going to land there. What do you, what do you,

Mike? What's it? Do you need the other guys to do the music? The 69 music? yeah dave doesn't live i don't have that one i'm sorry do you have it by any chance do you have it the 69 song not in my body no i have he doesn't let me use a lot of them a lot of them are he keeps locked up on a he has a hard drive that's in a safe and it's underwater and I can't swim. So I haven't been able to get it. I got drum roll.

I got fart. And that's a real duck, but he has one. He's got that one. But that's all I have. But let's say you're about to make money and to be able to give back to the artist who worked so hard on whatever they put on this tape. What would you do last minute?

Tell me a tape you have coming out and what happens if you accidentally end up with money to give them? What would you do last minute? Tell me a tape you have coming out and what happens if you accidentally end up with money to give them? What will you do with it instead? Well, I think you inspired me earlier on. Thank you. Thank you. A lot of people have been saying that. A lot of people have been coming up to me

and saying that. Thank you. So, I mean, I should probably, I'll write you on the credits, but basically a bonus tape with mash and peas maybe gravy it would be like a bonus tape it's like a Christmas supper it sounds like

but no tape just the case you're going to put that you're going to put that food in the Noroco case yes I thought okay trick question then hot shot gotcha you said earlier you didn't use narakos anymore because they broke so now you're lying to me yeah but this is this is good because it will break and the mashed potato will go everywhere and that will just kind of add to

the uh that's a badass prank yeah i like it it's a badass prank so badass pranks from you in the future we'll end that there you can pick one tape here one tape to go out on you got anything you wanna what's a play?

yeah we're gonna we're gonna go out on a tape what third kind of release which one do you pick? god I feel like there's so much stuff we haven't talked about you know what

I even brought up a screwdriver earlier cause one of these tapes you gotta have a screwdriver screwdriver to open let's do that let's do that so here's what i said you you said you've not opened it i have never opened it how long have i had oh man uh for seven years seven years no no sorry six. Six years. Six years. That sounds right. Yeah, so what I... So you've got a Phillips screwdriver, right? I do. This could be your lucky night.

It could be. Let me ask you this. I have this gray, it's a gray plastic box. It's got four screws on the back. Very somber. There's nothing on it. It's a very somber gray box. There's nothing on it.

You unscrew it, and inside there's two very somber gray tapes inside it. I'm telling you this because I don't want you to be disappointed when you unscrew it and inside there's two very somber grey tapes inside it. I'm telling you this because I don't want you to be disappointed. There's two. Okay, well, hold on. Should I take a picture of this before I open it? I feel like this occasion needs to be... Just be aware, Mike, that the

listeners can't see you typing that. Nice try, asshole. They all have access to my phone. Thank you uh nice try asshole they all have access to my phone thank you very much i gave them all access to my phone so and uh maybe if you if you want to sign up for that level of patreon you may also have access to my microphone and camera damn these are some long ass screws nick these are some long ass screws this screws like yeah i thought it was gonna be nice to pay extra for those because there was like there was a little bit of profit little bit of profit and then it was like give us the the long screws the expensive screws did they say then it was gone did they say like

nick we already used the small screws it'd be so much you'd have to pay so much for us to take the small screws out and put the new screws in and And you said... How did you know this? Do you work for them? Oh, for the screws? You're playing with me. You're playing with my mind. Yeah, we're for Simon and Screwsters, yeah. Okay. But the music contained within is very nice. We should play out on it.

Holding this up to my phone so my listeners can see it. But yeah, these two... Oh man, these tapes are just as grey. You're right. This is so sad. Is this going to my phone so my listeners can see it. But yeah, these two, oh man, these tapes are just as gray. You're right. This is so sad. Is this going to be like. It's quite sad music. It's quite melancholy.

It's just like concrete. Winter Patterns. Winter City Patterns it's called. The name of the artist is Windy City Patterns. No, the album is called Winter City Patterns and the artist is the Bitumen B12. The album. What is it? Winnie's winter windy winnie's summer albums what is it winter city patterns what are you saying wendy timber don't hurt wendy timber roller when you do the homework. Wendy did her homework. Wendy did her homework.

And the artist is the Vitamin B12, you know? I take vitamin... What vitamin is it? Oh, you call them vitamins, sorry, for the American audience. Oh, yeah. I'm sorry, could you translate that? Vitamin B12.

Hold on, what was it you said before? You said vitamin B12? What is that? Do you have that over there, yeah. What is that? Do you have that? Do you have that over there? We don't have that. We have something called vitamins.

We don't have that. Do you have... What are they for? What do you do with those? Huh? Well, I only use supplements that I make myself in my basement. I would never... Is that how you make yourself so strong? That's how I make myself very strong.

I've been taking lots and lots of, I mix together stuff that I find in the gutters. When I clean out the gutters, I mix it all together. I don't like to talk about mine. So you're going to love this because this whole thing is about vitamins. Vitamin B12.

So you're going to love this, Mike. You can say. I'm not going to say it's going to make you stronger because that would be ridiculous, but it will help sustain you. Who knows if even getting stronger would be a good thing for me, the amount of power I would have. Some people could have too much power. That's true.

How does Vitamin B12 feel about you just grabbing these gray boxes, not putting anything on them, not putting anything on the inside? This is what I mean. I'm going to say to what I said earlier, you want people to listen to stuff on your label and technically they can, but sometimes it's like you're, it's like you don't want them to. It's like you're being mean about it. What does, and I'd like to know, what does the vitamin B12, how do they feel about you taking their music that i assume they worked i'm not gonna say hard on because then i would say hard on it would sound like boner and it'd be i'm like i'm not gonna set myself up for that but they were they worked on it hard and long and and and you just like said okay, well, I'm going to do this,

and it's going to make people not want to listen to it. No, I mean, you've got to understand that this is Alistair West. He's much worse than me. We're talking about doing another release that's going to be in a big A1 big a1 sheet of paper and it's just gonna be folded up into this a1 thing and it's gonna be a nightmare to post out to people and it's just gonna take up loads of room on your shelf and you're gonna get annoyed and that's you know he's he's that's his kind of bag everything i learned was from him basically so on a scale from one oh so that's where that's who that's another one of

these influences yeah so we have orange milk we have field hymns we got this vitamin b12 give me two more two more tape labels artists or influence oh man no don't do that that's stupid i don't want to i don't think it's interesting you you haven't asked me a list of uh tape labels like i was expecting you to ask me for a list of my favorite okay okay should we put this we'll do this after so we'll say that vitamin b12 tape just ended and let's say it like this we'll set up the show like all right we're gonna play this tape that's it thanks nick and you say all right thanks bye and then afterwards bonus content 60 your 16 your 16 favorite labels oh shit man i don't can't think of 16 now all right nick thanks a bunch i don't let's not do that shut up we're gonna play this tape and that's the end of the episode and we won't say anything else at the end

but thanks nick thanks for hanging out then you say bye it's been a pleasure Thank you. Thank you. so nick now that everyone's gone real quiet real quiet now that everyone's gone hold on okay hold on hold on are they gone hold on the people behind you they've gone as well yeah everyone's gone there's freaky creepy people oh yeah it's kind of spooky now that we're in this cave and we're hiding away from everyone and they won't hear this What are your 16? No one's listening. What are your 16 favorite tape labels in order? in order I Didn't work out the order

You get extra points get out of here. All right, I'm not gonna get the max best ones about one Okay, orange milk Strategic tape I can't say it. Why do I always stumble on that strategic tape we drove I always get it right And Musa and addition spun out of control Have to amount to Muzan edition spun out of control house to mountain never anything no edits in the cave I'm sorry I didn't bring any of the edits I only brought my duck my's horrified. Fault records. Guys, why is it I've got... What are these guys called?

These guys won gospel tapes. I lost count. Econaut. Let's do one. Okay, we're out of the cave. We walked out of the cave. Do one more.

Nick, one more. One more. You get one more. Cult research. I'm clinging to the wrong button. Did you say one more? Yeah, that's my 16. That's my 16.

That's your 16? And that was 16, right? Thanks. All right, Nick. For real. For real this time. What? What do you want?

What? Oh, I thought you said something.