Tabs Out Cassette Podcast - Episode #119 | 2.11.18

Episode Date: February 11, 2018

THEMED EPISODE! Dozens, $ega & The Rainbow Streets, Bossbattle, Goldberg And The Universe, Mr. Matthews, Futuresport, Sam Brown, Battleship, Sky Stadium, Bad Chess, Opponents, Discoverer, and Three Legged Race.

Tabs out. Let's play some deeps. Tabs out. What the hell was that special episode episode 119 theme song theme not theme song did you make that episode no that's a that's that's a little ditty by jamie orlando friend of the show oh really uh undercover cop jamie orlando that was intense oh speaking of which my retired cop friend's back on the force he's oh good he's deep undercover right now they got him working on one more case one more case before he goes out one more case uh what episode number did you say 19 podcast uh episode number 119 i'm mike number nine i'm joe i'm dave and tonight uh as you boys alluded to, it is a special episode. How come?

Because for the first time... How special? Seven. Seven. Yeah, I was wondering. Because for the first time in, I think, like five years, we did this... Five years? I think it's been like since the first year of doing... How long have we been doing this podcast?

Three... Whoa! Slow down! Hold on there! Like, I think it was... Five, yeah. Yeah. Something like that. we've been doing this podcast three oh slow down hold on there like five years five yeah yeah something like that wait so we've been doing the podcast for five years oh we haven't done a themed episode in five years no not like steady we haven't been doing it we've had breaks in between episodes where we don't have you been doing it all the time that's not how i would describe it

we did like two of them in the first year and then we stopped. Oh, okay. I can't remember how many times we did it before. Well, anyway. Just like two. Oh, just twice? We're going to do the theme here. What's the theme for tonight? I know it. Given to us by Ben Zoller from Louisville, Kentucky, where they make the bats.

Oh, what? The sluggers? You know what they do with those bats, right? No. They play baseball, which is a game. What? Games is the- See what we got going on here games i get it you get it i get it i'm not an idiot a nice game of chess so we are going to play tapes that are somehow related to games i love games i brought some

games you did yeah what games did you bring? Joe B's got a little roulette table. What game did you bring? I brought some board games. What board games did you bring? Dave doesn't like to talk about what he plays. I was trying to think of the name of the Rodney Dangerfield game. I can't remember now.

Shall we play a game? You have a Rodney Dangerfield tabletop game? There's an old Rodney Dangerfield game. Like an old family game. Milton Bradley made, but I can't remember. Oh,field? No. There's an old Rodney Dangerfield game. Like an old family game. Milton Bradley made, but I can't remember. Oh, really? Yeah. It has to do with respect, I would assume.

I would assume. That should be the game. You have to try to get respect. You have to get respect. It's the game. Give me respect. All right. Well, we have all the tapes now in a bag over there.

A black bag. You can't see through the damn thing. Should we... Davey Boy, do you want... What's the blackest black called? I get to go first. No, it's called like... Midnight Special.

Oh, no. I can't remember what it's called. I'll have to Google it. Felix starts with a V. Hmm. And it's so black like... It's the blackest material ever made. Oh, I found a dirty one.

Ooh. Ooh. Out of the black bag. Oh, wait, no, don't play that one first because we're going to call him later, but he can't talk right now. Already, I'm doing that already. I love it. Oh, no, no, go ahead. You can't play that one. Well, let me ask you this. Okay.

Mike already has an order in mind within the bag, so you have to pick. There's a ten. Oh, come on. Which one So you have to pick. There's a ten! Oh, come on. Which one do you have there? Dozens. Oh. On Orange Milk. Orange Milk. Pinball Mansion.

Oh, there it is. Is the name. But also Dozens is a game. Oh, is it? Yeah, it's some kind of game called The Dozens. That's The Dozens, though. The Dozens. Or maybe it's Dozens. Pinball Mansion. Which one is it? Which one is what? Hmm?

This game or this game came out in, this is a tape from like 2012, I believe. You believe, huh? I believe it came out in 2012 on Orange Milk. I don't think you believe. They don't do catalog numbers, Orange Milk. Oh, really? What do you think about that, Joe B? That's weird.

I would think they would. Like or do not like not like i like it i don't like it survey said i like it i like it because they put the year on it too this is this one not this one what no year not on the spine anyway on the inside oh on the inside slick move very very clever very clever but i'm on to you i'm on to you i got a friend he's a cop so we kind of like share tips so i'm on to you there's a little thing called uh francesco de gallo which is an excellent salsa i was just gonna say i think i've had that before who uh used to do that project hobo cubes i don't know if he does anymore what is a hobo cube mike if he does anymore. What is a Hobo Cube, by the way? Mike, maybe he does, maybe he doesn't.

Hold on, say it again, because I think that might have been lost. Say it again. Maybe he does, maybe he doesn't. And Ryan Connolly from Sundrips. Do you remember Sundrips? I remember Sundrips. Oh, shit, Pete's is here already?

Nope. Wait, where is my... Is that... Oh, that's why it? Nope. Where is my... Oh, that's why it's not working right. Just figured this out. Alright. A little crackly. A little crackly. I was just wondering why my...

Twos are twisted? Do you like pinball? Do you enjoy pinball? I like pinball, yeah. I thought I did. It costs too much money? I like it though. So I I thought I did. I thought I did, but I don't. It costs too much money? Yeah, because I'm not that good at it. I like it, though. So I've got to keep putting in the quarters.

I read an internet fact. I like pinball machines more than I like pinball. You're a pinball wizard like the Who kid. I read a something, a fact. Editorial? I read an editorial about pinball machines earlier. Op-ed piece? I don't like them!

What do you think is the most high-selling pinball machine of all time according to whatever blog one you think it's the simpsons one that those were both very good guesses they said adam's family adam's family adam's family yes i had a uh but they spelled it wrong so maybe not i play i remember playing a dracula pinball game ah yeah it was very scary but it um there was this thing that would happen where um the ball would start moving by itself like there was a magnet under it like it was a haunted ball it would start yeah yeah it would catch it and would like game over man start sliding back up the top of the machine that is cheating that is cheating uh you know the original pinball machines didn't have the flappers.

You were supposed to bump into it and tilt it. Oh, really? The early ones. Me and my cop friend did a little research. Oh, you did a little R&D. Hand me the bag. I want to pick that. My turn.

My turn to play the game. That's good tones. What's this, Zelda? That's tetris slow down tetris oh slow down i got old sega and the rainbow streets a tape uh what's it translate to i thought i had it here 100 views with my thoughts on uh nominal loom 100 views with my thought that's what that's what google translate told me um this person has a uh they did a tape on orange milk under remember dj w w w w i don't remember how many w's it was it was a good amount of w's too many if you ask me you think it was too many too many um did you you guys have... Let me get a snack, Dave.

Were you a Sega family or a NES? I had Nintendo and then I had Sega Genesis. I never had like Super Nintendo. What about you, Dave? And I had a PlayStation 1. Do you remember the Sega Channel? Or just a PlayStation? I do remember the Sega Channel, yeah.

I've heard about it, but... The fucking Julianas across the street. Yeah. God love you. They had it. I don't really get it. How did it work? You had like a thing that you plugged into the you put into the sega like a cartridge and that thing i'm gonna tell you joe it went right into your phone jack it fit perfectly like a glove right and it would send digitally digitally it would send through the

cord like the modem through like you could hear it going through the yeah, you could hear it if you put your ear real close. And it would send the game right to your TV. How's that possible? I don't know, but I played Zombies 8, My Neighbors or something about zombies and it was scary. Way too scary. Too scary. But I don't really

I don't really know too much about this tape Describe for the customer But it came out with that What was it? Toy Rite Status or something like that Remember we played that tape? Toy Rite Status? Yeah

Yeah, it came out I think at the same time as that Sometime last year I believe No kidding Dave, I'm trying to be honest with you It's my New Year's resolution I believe you, Mike I don't want to be Mike, I believe you I have a feeling I'm telling you Sometimes you don you. It's my New Year's resolution. I believe you, Mike. I don't want to be... Mike, I believe you.

I have a feeling sometimes you don't believe me. Joe, reach into that bag. I'm being honest. You gotta believe me. What do you got? I'm gonna play this... What's this? This Boss Battle tape?

Dirty Pots? Oh, Boss Battle. Is that Duck Hunt? Yeah. It's the most, like, anti-climatic bomb I've ever heard. That's the duck falling. Oh, that's the duck falling?

Yeah. Okay, that makes more sense. Boss Battle, that is... I don't like dogs. Too scary. No, no. Boss Battle is Sean Stelfox, who is in Indonesia right now. he's doing those noise bombings is he still doing those they do those noise bombings over there a total disregard for anyone

trying to enjoy their a nice quiet day an artist respects the silence a true artist knows that wait i feel like i had that i must have like opened the wrong file or something dave you open the wrong file again. I don't know where all my sound clips went. Describe that packaging in that. It was about dirty pots, right? Clear poly cases, right? Okay.

Clear tape. Just a little, what's the sticker on the inside? This ain't no game. I guess he took it open and put the sticker on the inside. He opened up that shell. He got it wide open. And that's hard to do nowadays. They're getting rid of the screws. They're getting rid of the screws.

Clear acetate with some printing on it. Dirty pots. Boss battle. You gotta use one of those T6 screws. Star shaped ones. Oh, I hate those ones. And it says tabs are left in. Use the provided piezo mic which comes with a little contact mic and and you're encouraged to overdub your own material onto this tape legally or illegally

legally because he's given the artist is giving permission you know he would do that a noise bomber like that and then a bad boy noise bomber would the material on this is made from said contact mic. Not this one, but that very one. No, I think he makes you a special individual one. But one just like it. You know, they're doing these noise bombings, and you hear about them, you see like,

it's like, remember the knockout game? I don't like bombs. It's like the new knockout game with these noise bombings. It's like the Tide Pods. Which I don't think that's real. What? The knockout game? That's definitely real. How about

a nice game of chess? I'll say we'll play, but stop with the noise bombs because it's just a rude thing to do. It is rude. It's an artist. I don't know if I've said this before, but a true artist respects the silence. Yeah. This was a self-release tape he does a lot of self-release tapes he does um he's constantly doing stuff this sean kid this one came out he's

a busy boy i don't know if he's busy he might have a lot of time this one came out in 2015 um are you ready to play these three tapes uh-huh all right here we go I'm sorry. wow so I'm going to go to the next one. so wow so I'm sorry. Thank you. so so so Exit 159, Exit 159, Exit 159, Exit 159, Exit 159, Exit 159, Exit 159, Exit 159, Exit 159, Exit 159, Exit 159,

Exit 159, Exit 159, Exit 159, Exit 159, Exit 159, Exit 159, Exit 159, Exit 159,

Exit 159, Exit 159, Exit 159, Exit 159, Exit 159, Exit 159, Exit 159, Exit 159,

Exit 159, Exit 159, Exit 159, Exit 159, Exit 159, Exit 159, Exit 159, Exit 159,

Exit 159, Exit 159, Exit 159, Exit 159, Exit 159, Exit 159, Exit 159, Exit 159,

Exit 159, Exit 159, Exit 159, Exit 159, Exit 159, Exit 159, Exit 159, Exit 159, Exit 159, Exit 159, Exit 159, Exit 159, Thank you. Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, Thank you. oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooioioioioioioioioioioioioioioioioioioioioioioioioioioioioioioioioioioioioioioioio Ooh Ooh Ooh Ooh Ooh Ooh Ooh Ooh

Ooh Ooh Ooh Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. I'm sorry. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. ¶¶ Those are some games. Too scary. Dozens. Pinball Mansion. Orange Milk Tape from 2012. Dave. Come on, be a good boy.

Man, these things have way too much seasoning on them. I want to do good boy stuff. The game's there. That's Dozens is a game. It's like a word game. I know he's a greaser. I know about his bad boy stuff. And Pinball, of course, is a game.

Sega and the Rainbow Streets, the Sega Genesis system, the Sega Channel, Sega CD. Sega Dreamcast. Sonic the Hedgehog. The Aladdin game. Tails. Tails. Oh, the,

Parappa, no. No, that was for, what was that? That was for PlayStation. Where could you play the Sub-Zero game? What, like? When you were Sub-Zero.

Kill him. Not Mortal Kombat. And then, I don't know. Mortal Kombat. And then Boss Battle. And the Boss Battle is like at the end of the boss. You beat at the end, right? Yeah. Yeah. So that's how those are all game related.

Very video game related there. I had an arcade game in my garage when I was a kid. What? You're so cool. Richie Rich over here. Well, well. It was bullshit. It was the worst game ever.

It was called Circus Charlie. It was like a... It was bullshit. It was the worst game ever. It was called Circus Charlie. Circus Charlie? It was so bad. It was like a 2D scroller of this clown going through obstacles in a circus. What? Yeah. So you hop up on a trapeze thing and then, you know. Did it come with the house or was your dad going by?

Did it come with the house? It would be a wine going by. Did it come with the house? No, it was when I lived at my grandparents' house when I was a young kid. Oh, okay. What are your grandparents up to these days? They're not around anymore. Oh, way to bring that up. Jesus Christ. I think he knew that.

That's why he wanted to play that. I'm a guitar hero addict. I'm a guitar hero addict. All right, let's pick into this tape. I'm a Guitar Hero addict. I'm a Guitar Hero addict. Alright, let's pick into this tape. I'm a Guitar Hero addict. Alright, Dave's got the bag. Guitar Hero 3, Guitar Hero 2, Guitar Hero 2, Guitar Hero 3, all those games.

What do you got, Davey boy? What is it? Davey's been going through my YouTube channel. Somebody stop me. I got a Goldberg tape. Shall we play a game? Goldberg in the universe. Goldberg in the universe. On Excitebike.

There it is. Another video game. Heavy in the video games. You guys like Excitebike? The video game? Yeah. Or the label? I never really liked it.

I liked it. What? You know on the Japanese version. Why didn't you like it, Joe? You could save the tracks you build onto a cassette. really what that's crazy i know i don't know i didn't that's just one of the i i know a lot of stuff and you never asked me anything you know you know it's like it's like what do you want to know just ask me it is kind of a dumb game yeah it's dumb uh i don't like how you could overheat in it because that made me over it as a kid and

as a pudgy kid you didn't want want... You got a timer, right? Man! There is... I think the trick was to just land flat. You don't want to bounce at all. Right. And then don't go over the grassy part. Don't go over the grassy part.

And there were always... When you played... You could play when you were just the only person on the track or you could play it where there was robot racers. Robot racers, yeah. I don't like racing games. I never have. How long did you play? They were assholes, man.

They'd always cut you off. Let's be nice. Let's play a nice gentleman's game of motorcycle when you wrecked oh you would rack at the top you would talk at the top of a giant ramp yeah go down it takes like 10 seconds i don't know literally uh i don't want to brag never wrecked never heard that sound because like one time i was like i thought about trying and my instincts just kicked in and i landed, like perfect landing. Like they put it on the back of the box.

It was so nice. So what are you playing? You're playing something on a site bike. Oh yeah. Goldberg in the universe. Sam Goldberg, uneven universe. Went on tour at some point. I'm going to say 2009.

Mike, I literally say what I'm playing at the very beginning. Every time. Me and Joe, I think me and Joe are both confused. You grab it from the stack, walk me through it. And then he's like, I'm going to play. And then I black out. I don't know what happens.

And then Mike talks over me for five minutes. So what are you playing? Just do it now. Just act like you pulled out and tell me what you're playing. Go ahead. Let's see how this works what do you got no what do you play no what do you got i don't like this bit what do you play just like come on say it just say it just say it that was gonna be the bit how long did you best. That's what he said. How long did you play it? That's what he said. I'm a Guitar Hero addict.

Guitar Hero 2, Guitar Hero 3, Guitar Hero 2, Guitar Hero 2, Guitar Hero 3, Guitar Hero 3, Guitar Hero 3, Guitar Hero 2, Guitar Hero 3, all those games. Alright, give me the bag. We'll give it to Joe. Let Joe pick. I don't even care. I'll go last because I don't even care.

I don't even care anymore. With ease Because I don't even care I don't even care anymore With ease I see Look at this base Oh this is a little I don't know about this cover Risqué Very risqué

Oh this is the Mr. Matthews tape I'm not allowed to play this No you can play Because I don't think We're going to call him Oh alright I was going to call him Yeah what is this

Some Leather Daddy shit Oh shit That's like Stanky Finger This is like a close up On Tom from Finland That's like the Rolling Stove Stanky finger it's got the zipper on the cover i'm gonna ask you boys right now you know what just happened to me you sure that's not lover boing lover boing uh lover boing when's this tape from is this real old uh competitive games of realness there's the games part there's the game because he uses the word, isn't it? Composition notebook, it looks

like. It's almost like he knew we were going to do this theme. This is from 2013. Yes, 2013. And it says it includes a space to be numbered, but at least some copies are unnumbered. On the front, it just says 125.

I like to read that like, includes a space to be numbered, but at least some copies are unnumbered. Like they did a favor for you. Mr. Matthews, one half of Telecaut powers, makes his little stinky sizers. Hey Dave, you want to put the pretzels down? No, he's hungry, man. They're really good.

They're really good. They're really good. It was just the little bits at the end, so they're really hard to eat. How long did you play it? They drowned him in the powder. The hot pink powder. It's a C28, and it came out in an edition of 25. Small one.

A small one? Why so small? I ate frog legs. Was it connected to the frog? At the Hummingbird Place? Small one? Why so small? Yo, I ate frog legs. Oh, when? Was it connected to the frog? At the place? Frogger was a game. Frogger was a game. At the hummingbird place?

No, no, no. At Monks in Philly. Oh, really? Yeah. How were they? They were like buffalo wings. Yeah? Wait, how big's a frog like?

It's like that big. Like a bullfrog. Give me the girth. You know what the girth might say. How big, Dave? Damn. It's like one chicken wing, basically. Was it good?

It tasted like chicken wings. Really? Yeah. Maybe it was just a chicken wing. The bones just look different. And they're like, tell them it's a frog leg. You see that asshole out there? I don't like it.

Yeah, whoa, whoa, whoa. Was it green? Huh? Was it green? It was maybe. I don't know. It was breaded, so. Oh.

I think what we got here is they said, give this asshole this chicken wing. They needed a new special, and the chef didn't know what to do. Frog legs. Frog legs. I got it. I think what we got here is they said, give this asshole this chicken wing. They needed a new special, and the chef didn't know what to do. Frog legs. Frog legs. French people love frog legs. Freedom legs.

Because Mardi Gras is on Wednesday, so apropos. Either way, it should have been green, Dave. If it wasn't green, you got ripped off. You got an illegal chicken wing. It should have been this color. How much did you pay for this? If you paid more than $500 for this, rub your forehead.

Oh, shit. He's rubbing his forehead. I think you said this. You bought an illegal hot pocket. Did they have a sauce or anything? It was a buffalo wing sauce. Oh, it was a buffalo. It was exactly like a buffalo frog legs. Buffalo frog legs, exactly.

Alright, then what am I going to play? How many? Two. What? It was like one, yeah. It was like legs from a single frog. Jesus Christ, man. It was the legs of a single frog.

Or maybe they mixed them up. I had a single serving. They were about the same length. How many legs does a frog have? You're not even getting all the legs from one frog. All the front legs got nothing on them, Mike. I want to know if they do like frog breasts or like the gut. Does that have anything?

All the different cuts. All the cuts. Exactly. This is some sugary talk. Okay, I picked a tape. Future Sport. Tape came out on a little label called 905 Tapes. What?

Which is a label I used to do. Maybe I'll do it again one day. Maybe. Dave, turn my cans up. I can't hear a hear a goddamn thing well you got a little too loud yeah you keep getting sugar when i heard about the frog leg amount that he got and let's let's that's not me let's be honest that's me and you did it perfectly oh my god you nailed it yeah you know you think so little of a person and then they just come through on one thing so good. They can work those knobs really well. Yeah.

Just to let the listeners know, it's not like he just puts the knob to five and then we just do the show. He'll never leave it there. There is subtle tweaking that goes on all throughout the program. Oh, yeah. It's hard work.

It's hard work. Two hands sometimes. Yeah, it's like the beating heart underneath the floorboard that he can't ignore. No, no, it needs to be always moved because It's hard work. It's hard work. Two hands sometimes. Yeah, it's like the beating heart underneath the floorboard that he can't ignore. No, no. It needs to be always moved. It must be turned. The temperature changes in here.

Humidity changes in here. It must be turned. It must be turned. Future Sport tape. Josh Burke. I don't know if you guys remember Josh Burke. He did a project called Sky Limousine. Oh, Sky Limousine.

He used to run a label called Avocado Jungle. Oh, I don't know that. I imagine, Dave, I imagine you've been to an avocado jungle. Oh, many times. Tell me about some of that experience, some sexual experiences you've had. Sexual experiences? Mature experiences that you had there.

If you really, I mean, we can talk about it. Anything adult that you've done. Yeah, I mean, just for kids, just to change things up. Yeah, you know. That's for a different podcast. It's an erotic environment.

It is. Well, yeah, all those, you know what it is, all those goddamn avocados. Well, that,

and then there's, you know, the wildlife. It's very exotic. Tell me a little bit about that. You know, just the bright colored wildlife, you know.

Smells mussy. Yeah. Wet. The wildlife or just the environment colored wildlife. You know. Smells musty. Yeah. Must smell. Yeah. The wildlife or just the environment? The environment is wet. Which in turn causes that wildlife to get damp. The environment is bone dry.

All the wildlife is soaking wet, though. Tell me more about that. White Chimneys is the name of this tape. 905 number 52. Came out in 2009. Not some of my best work here with the cover. I was probably just learning to use that filter on Photoshop. Oh, no, I like this series, the ones when you were learning Photoshop.

Because you got the updated package or whatever. Yeah. Or I'm like, ooh. Before you only had bricks and... Like, you know when I learned a new tool in Photoshop. You learned a new tool. Because every tape had that. They had the flare type effect. And then all the other.

Yeah. Let me walk you through the day. I figured out lens flare. I'm going to say it was a, I know it was a Tuesday. I know it was a Tuesday. They look good. The flares, the flares. I love them.

I remember. I'm not going to say who it was, but one person criticized me on a flare one time. It hurt really bad. I never did it again. Was it me? It wasn't. No, no, no, no. You say it with so much love and it makes me feel so comfortable that you could literally say anything because i like you know all the way back to the brick

i don't feel like i've actually executed the brick fully the brick looks bad it was sandstone or something that he's like once in a font a font. Come on. Sorry, Joe. I don't drive a Prius, alright? Yeah, I mean, you just don't get, you know, design, culture. It's a Nissan Versa. No, it's a 2017, but it's not a Prius and I apologize. Jesus Christ.

What happened? I got some heartburn or something. Heartburn. I've never had heartburn. You want some Tums? I'll make you Tums. You've never had heartburn? No, I don't get'll make you tums You've never had heartburn? No I don't get that I'm not a pussy That just means someone who is cowardly Survey said Comes from the root word pusillaneous That's not a joke

There was something else I wanted to say Which means to be a coward But I am questioning Dave's manliness There was something else I wanted to say. Which means to be a coward. But I am questioning Dave's manliness. Are you? Yeah. I mean, I can show you. With the heartburn.

Oh, with the heartburn. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Boys, boys, I'm going to forgive you. What I'm saying is, you know. No, go on a little bit more. Act tough. Grow up. Grow up. And tell me one more thing about um

about what are you playing the avocado jungle tell me one more thing uh it's a magical place it's a magical place and why and you know if anyone's curious that's all you get the blog that's all you get the blog spot for avocado jungle is still up but there's no post i don't think there's ever been a post but uh if you want to check it out what kind of avocados was it haas california california you thought he was going to do the haas one he's yeah he likes it subtle all right he likes his avocado what's the company that's a delfonte who was that it was those so the game in this is sport game is that is sport future sport which is a game

which is all games they've melded into Dave did he even tell you about the bit that I wanted to do oh yeah he had a good bit do you want to play these tapes come back and say the bit and then Joe what we'll do is we'll play these three tapes we'll come back

you can knock we'll play these tapes they. We'll come back. You can knock. We'll play these tapes. They'll be good tapes. People will be like, that's good, but I want something funny. And then you are going to just fucking knock it out of the park. So if you're listening, get your hopes up now and let them slowly build through these tapes. Somebody had better do something around here. Like a boiling water, like a stew rising in temperature in a crock pot.

Get your hopes up that joe's gonna just fucking knock this one out of the park and you are gonna it's not gonna be that funny you can't rewind on mixed cloud no but you're gonna wish you could you're gonna wish you could the fucking shit he's gonna say Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. The The The The The The The The

The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The

The The The The The The The The

The The The The The The The The The The The The Thank you. The Thank you. © transcript Emily Beynon I don't know. Thank you. © transcriptF-WATCH TV 2021 The bioelectric charge and discharge produced by the genital embrace causes the orgasmic

reflex, supremely pleasurable muscular contractions. Subjection to social disciplines may cause gastric ulcers, respiratory, coronary, and vascular diseases. Comrade lovers, for your health's sake, fuck freely. The communist movement fights for the liberation of man's natural impulses and joy of living. 4,000 liberating orgasms in every woman's and man's life are four thousand explosions of liberated life energy. Only by liberating both love and labor can we create a self-regulating worker's society.

Body tissue deprived of life energy turns cancerous. Cancer is the hysteria of cells condemned to death. Cancer and fascism are closely related. Fascism is the frenzy of sexual cripples. The swastika owes its magnetism to be the symbol of two bodies locked in genital embrace. It all stems from a longing for love. Comrades, make love joyously, but without fear. Let the cold flow sweetly up your spine.

Let your hips roll with your mouth water. Saliva is good. Embracing lovers radiated bluish light, orgoan illumination, same sort of light the astronauts saw in outer space. Let us reactivate the natural vibrations within ourselves and society. Let the current stream sweetly through your muscles. Feel free to tremble and cry. Let yourself enjoy your body. There's a revolution who's

revolutionary renounces love make you very uncomfortable. What's happening to the revolution? The End Thank you. The Thank you. The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The

The The The The oh There it is. Right. Are we back? We're back. Oh, shit. Oh, shit.

That was Goldberg in the universe. I got to lean all the way back in here. Mr. Matthews. All right, as promised, Joe B. And Future Sport. What's this music? This is for your fucking story you're about to drop. I'm not doing it anymore. Blow everyone's to drop. I'm not doing it anymore.

Blow everyone's skin off. I'm not doing it anymore. Oh, here comes the job. Bring up Ray. This ain't no game. I wanted to play this tape, Dave. This ain't no game. There's no way you win that game.

And it's not a game, per se, but I wanted to make a bit where it was like a Leisure Suit Larry type game that me and you played when we were kids, but Mike never played it, and he wasn't allowed to play it. No one would have believed that, because I definitely played all the bad boy games. Yeah, it was a bad boy game that we played. Name one. The one you just said before.

Flesh World, yeah. And the one he said before that. Leisure Suit Larry. Leisure Suit Larry. He only played three, though. What happens in three? Oh, part three? Yeah, that one sucks.

That's when the FCC got involved. Not if you knew the cheat codes. Blurred it all out. Not if you knew the cheat codes. I don't trust anybody that only played three. This ain't no game. I never actually played Leisure Suit Larry. I think we've talked about this before.

I haven't either. A neighbor had it, and I watched him play a little bit. Oh, yeah? What was it? It was like a point-and-click adventure, or what are you doing? No! This is no game! Remember, the first thing I said is, this ain't no game!

I don't really know what you do. I think you're some sort of kind of private eye. I don't know. Dave does some detector work. And you're solving sexy uh wait wait record scratch record scratch you you had me interested wait are you sexy crimes or sex crimes hold on what are we solving yeah that's what i need to figure out right now because you had me very interested when you're talking about the detective work

because my uh cop friend my retired cop friend who came out of retirement to solve one more case, who's deep undercover right now. I really don't know what Leisure Suit Larry is. We do a lot of detective work together. It's a screensaver. Oh, you had a screensaver? I had the third one. Which was the best one.

If you know the cheat codes It's the best one Are you looking up Leisure Suit Larry? I am Hold on Let's get exciting first Look up YouTube videos It's an adult themed video game

Wait what? Record scratch Record scratch There's six of them How many? No kidding Guitar Hero 2 Guitar Hero 3

Guitar Hero 3 All those games. So anyway. What do you do? Are you the private eye? Is it still sex crimes? Did we ever figure that out? You're picking up girls at the pool.

I don't think you're a private eye. I think I made that part up. You're just a sex criminal. In general, the game follows the escapades of Larry Laffer as he attempts to convince a variety of nubile women to sleep with him. Alright. What tape are we... What's going on?

We didn't pick any tapes yet. I don't think we picked tapes yet. Now you pick. Or Dave picks. Oh, I go? Yeah, go ahead. Reach in that bag. I don't know where the bag is. Too scary. Yeah, is. Too scary. Yeah, this is too scary.

I thought it would have been a funny bit, Dave. Fleshworld. Volume 1. I think so, too. This ain't no game. What do you got there, Dave? What came out of the bag? I got this Sam Brown tape.

Sam Brown? That doesn't sound like a game. No way. He used to play for the Cleveland Browns. The name of the tape is Wheel of Fortune. Now I get it. I would like to buy a Val. How about a

nice game of chess? uh sam brown tape uh wheel of fortune and now here's what i'm confused about does it say illuminated paths anywhere on there yep okay so it says illuminated paths illuminate past number 283 i believe but and i don't mean i don't mean your, but if you look on the internet, something comes up about little L records putting out this cassette in addition to 50, and Illuminated Paths put out a, quote, thick double 90C version,

but that's only one tape. One tape. And both of those, the thick caps thick but in quotes because you keep doing quotes no i'm doing the quotes because it's actually there oh wait it is there thick there's like uh there's like a barcode for sticker barcode sticker for chewing tobacco in this jay yeah illuminated past gives you all their garbage all their recycling all their trash a lot of a lot of tape labels will only here's my beef with a lot of tape labels dave maybe you've come across this wintergreen huh you'll get it's the best flavor is it wintergreen you'll get a tape from a label and they'll just send you just like a tape in a case with a bunch of trash in it no

they won't send you the trash that's what i'm getting usually what usually it's a problem it's a problem a lot of these labels don't even send you to show you got so much food in your beard i can make another slice of pizza out of it really they'll just send you the tape too many toppings on that piece well i call that you know what i call that you know what i call that all i call that dressed up just a dressed that all i call that dressed up dressed up dressed up slice they should make dressed up flavor pizza that would be good well i'm what i'm the story i'm telling you i don't care what i did it happened so like you hear i did something and you say yeah someone else should do that because my kid do it right

but in actuality actually i'm pretty good at stuff and i do a lot of good stuff and maybe you should pay attention sometime i like i like one little detail about this tape Right, but actually, I'm pretty good at stuff, and I do a lot of good stuff. Maybe you should pay attention sometime. I like one little detail about this tape. What is it? Look at the back of this thing. Look at the back of it. They use, so the J-card part of the Norelco case has a short back flap. And the other part of the Norelco case that folds over top of it

has a wider space than that flap is. So there's a gap on the back of the tape. And the title of the tape is... Fits right in that little... Fits right in that gap. There's no way they planned that. A label that sends you this much trash, this much recycling.

Well, Mike, that's how you save the environment, okay? No, that has to have been planned. No, no, no, no, no. The wheel ends right at the top there. And then it's perfect. Why would they make it like this? I don't know. It's a very interesting design choice. They probably got like

a bunch of those. They probably ordered like a thousand Rocos on eBay for 20 cents. And they came like that and they're like, now what do we do? That took some planning. I just want to take you to I want to take you out to the woodshed real quick. Oh, the woodshed. What's that mean? Is that a euphemism?

I just want to apologize from Dave to you, Joe. Because when he's talking about, and yes, Illuminated Paths is saving the environment when they do this by spreading around their garbage. I know about I know how you can spread around your garbage. You spread yes, illuminated paths is saving the environment when they do this, but they spread around their garbage. I know how you can spread around your garbage. You spread it around your cycling and it saves the environment. But to say that in such a condescending way in front of my friend Joe who owns a Prius.

I have one Prius. He's got a single Prius, but it is. Getting great gas models right now too. Oh yeah? Yeah. Keep them track. Give them the book. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.

To try to explain, to Dave explain to Joe what environment is and how you can save it is like... I'm doing it, buddy. He's already doing it with his Prius, so you just make yourself look more dumb than you already are.

My grandfather used to keep track of his gas mileage in a notebook in his car. Really? So did I. No, but I did because my gas gauge didn't notebook in his car. Really? So did I. No, but I did because my gas gauge didn't work in my... Oh, I knew that. Yeah, I really

did. I knew that, yeah. I still don't know why he did it. Did his gas gauge work? Yeah. Huh. And he still did that, huh? Yeah. Just to know. It's a good thing to know. Well, how old was he? Maybe he kind of like, you know... Back then? Maybe his brain kind he kind of like, you know. Back then?

Maybe his brain kind of like checked out. Keeping a notebook like that. That one's so alive. So there. Maybe that's why it's so alive. Mental, little mental exercises like that. It's a mental exercise? Yeah, it's a game.

It's a game. Because then he does averages. That's why you brought it up. Yeah. Because it's the game. It's the game. Oh, shit. What are bringing around?

Wait, why are you picking the tape? Is it your turn? All right, go. Go then. How many have we picked so far? I think just the one. Just the one. So I was picking a tape to uh speed things along i'm a guitar hero addict i'm gonna play this battleship tape transhumanist you stunk my battleship an excellent board game now we're getting away this is good i like this because we're getting away from the video games on this one car wash

tapes and we're getting into tabletop games well games. Well, Wheel of Fortune, which is like a game show. And then Battleship, which is a board game. Which is a board game. You know what I... How do you play Battleship? How do I play it? What's your strategy? Oh, I don't really like Battleship.

Yeah, Battleship's stupid. I don't know. It's pretty random, I guess. So your strategy is to avoid it? Well, I just don't play it, really. You just don't play it. Yeah, that's probably the safest bet if you don't like it. Me too. Even when I was a kid, you know?

So this isn't something that happened when you were an adult. You didn't grow old and you're like, no more. I hate this game. I hate it in the middle of the game. I never got into it. I put them all in one spot. You put what in one spot? I put all my ships in one big corner.

And then what? And then I just figured that lessens my chances of getting hit. You know what I do is I keep hitting the same spot over and over again to try to make a tsunami. And if you have the good version with the rumble pack it will make a tsunami really it come yeah there's a lot of people don't know about the water in the board did you ever see the battleship i've never seen the movie i don't like i read a you don't like waterboarding no i'm against it so you okay how do you feel about

freedom dave like the freedom you're currently enjoying the game yeah i love freedom the game um battleship the movie i've never seen it i saw a there's a movie what do they saw in the movie theater b3 no if you can get my fucking words out of my mouth without being interrupted maybe i would you would know exactly what's going on here i i'm sorry mike go ahead no start all over again i saw i feel like i've not been nice to you i feel like i saw a thing give him a chance joe just trying so hard there's no way you can win that game all those games i like that one how long did you play it um what is that How long did you play it? What is that? How long did you play it? That's really... I saw the thing with all of Rihanna's lines.

Yeah, where she's just like, huh? Yeah, yeah. Ah! It's just like a little one-liner or whatever. There's no like... I think you showed that to me before. I like the thing at the end. What do you call that? Is that what it really sounds like when a duck hits a ground yeah you know exactly like i've never been duck hunting is that what it sounds

like yeah well if you listen really close so the sound gets pixelated okay well let's all be quiet yeah that does sound like a duck in the ground like in the marsh a little wet it's a little wet just a little bit um there was a lot of good tapes that we could have played for this theme that uh we did not a lot of minds don't have so we can't play them that label young tapes put out a lot of stuff as joe montana and uh brett far all right. Yeah. And there is surprisingly enough. Brett Favre? A John Pyle friend of the show runs Beyond the Ruins, does a project called Pleasure Island, has a double tape called Patriot Games. Oh. I don't have it.

I was looking for it. I don't have it. You don't have it? I don't have it. I don't get Brett Favre's name. Why? Because it's F-A-V-R-E. How is that farb

uh what else right how's that far the nintendo tapes that ours apothecary put out the nintendo soundtracks we play we i i only have megaman or megaman 2 or something like that and i think we already played it that synth bard tape that dungeons and dragons thing oh remember we played that uh skater dice soundtrack tape yeah he's back yeah a lot of good stuff a lot of good games um there was a lot i had a whole list of stuff i had those zx spectrum cassettes yeah we played one of those ways back i almost played i almost brought stkers. Let me see how you boys would have felt if I played this. It's got a tank on the front. I don't know what a Stonker is. Dave, I'll explain what a Stonker is to you as we do the show.

Acceptor has a tape called Maze of Death. Is a maze a game? No. So they said. It's not? Well, I'm glad I didn't play it then. Okay. Is it a game? No, it's like a torture device. A maze?

Yeah, they put you in the maze with the Minotaur that's the only way to be in the maze yeah what about like labyrinth what about that board game when labyrinth is the with the marbles instead of david bell that's labyrinth that's a maze though that you go through no because there's holes yeah there are so a maze can't have a hole no amazing holes let me let me just let me just really say to me slow joe mazes no holes barred can't have holes mazes can't once you have a hole you're a labyrinth yeah and a labyrinth's not a maze it's not a maze it has holes real quick and then we'll go into the next marble hit me I know about the marble Hit me with the That's how you get down in the sewers Hit me with the

That's where the turtles live Hit me with the extra mile What is the extra mile quote? There's no traffic On the extra mile Alright who's got a tape? Where are we at? It's your turn.

It's your turn. It's always yours. Whenever there's a long pause. What are the last two that got picked? Probably a pause. Because I guess you don't stop. There's no pause.

I never stop. I never stop, baby. Dave, while Mike's picking, remember how we were talking last show about how you like when the like

German words I already picked it. I already picked the tape. Talk about it when you're reading it. I already have it. I already have it. I already have it. I already have it. I already have it. I already have it. I already have it. I already have it. I already have it. I already have it. I already have it. I already have it. I already have it.

I already have it. I already have it. I already have it. I already have it. Talk about it when you're reading this word. Stacy got some elixir that was called like

Führer Cider or something. It was like fire. It was supposed to be fire cider or something like that. But it was a German and it said like Führer. It said Führer Cider?

Not Führer. Like that guy. I know. I know which guy you're talking about. I don't remember how you spelled it. But it kind of sounds like fire. Yeah, yeah.

How long did you play it? I thought that was good. Humbucker? Sky Stadium. Oh, Dave, you could tell me a lot about this tape. You released this tape on 2AM Tapes, a label that you did for, what would you say, 2010 to 2015?

Is that about right? I did it for like two years, then I stopped for two years, and then I did it for like a year. This is 2010. Sounds like Joe's relationship with your mom. Off and on, you know? Yeah, off and on, a little hot, a little cold, you know? This is a dude named Jeffrey Roman from Jersey roman from jersey oh jersey that's a good

state he uh he came down and played a final friday at the at the original final friday spot oh yeah with 2673 yeah right yeah i remember that i think so maybe it was 26 yeah it was yeah this is 2am number 41 right yes i i have a note here that told me to remind myself to say that Future Sports, the game, the tape that I put on 905 that we played, I think you would play them in Sky Stadiums. Oh, Future Sports? Yeah, you would definitely play them. Like a Harry Potter plays Quidditch.

Is that in a Sky Stadium or are they just in the sky? They're just in the sky. Yeah, like everyone. It's not in the sky. I played, there was a baseball game that I had that was a future baseball game where you played in a Sky Stadium. With robot baseball players?

Is it the card game? Yeah, that's Base Wars. That game's called Base Wars? No, Joe's talking about a different game. What's the game that we play sometimes? Our good boy game, when we get together, play dress up, play card games. Oh.

Baseball Highlights, 2045. Okay. And I just wanted to make it it known i know it sounds like a joke that we play dress up and play card games but sometimes we don't sometimes it's good old-fashioned fun you know there was this old you did before the internet there's this old nintendo game called baseball simulator where all the baseball players it was like normal baseball but they all had special powers like the pitcher could like wind up in a tournament. Look at Mike rolling his eyes over there. No, I was looking on the soundboard for something. I was just looking on the soundboard.

Davey boy. Dave. Go, go, go. What are you playing? What the fuck are you doing? What are you even doing? Dave, I didn't roll my eyes. I was trying to keep eye contact with you, but also look at the screen really quick.

How long did you play it? Game over, man. It's game over. Whoa. Come on, Dave. Don't be mad at me. I got my mouse over here. On my lap. I can use it on my lap. I don't even have to face the table. Okay. Look at this base.

You ready to play these? Yeah. What else are we doing? No, that's it. That's the three. That's the three, right? Sam Brown, Wheel of Fortune. And then Battleship. Battleship. And then Sky Stadiums. Thank you. Out of time And out of space Nothing

Will save Nothing will save the human race. On the poison On the dark On the dark The needle in our heart From the bow and arrow pointed backwards That we shot Here's something The same It's all gone Thank you. But I love you Set the knife to the wound Thank you. Bye. I don't know. Bye. Thank you. To be continued... Thank you. Thank you. so so um © transcriptF-WATCH TV 2021 Thank you. I'm sorry. © BF-WATCH TV 2021 Thank you. © transcript Emily Beynon The The The The

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The The The The The The The The so so so so Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. The The The The The The Thank you. What is Zelda? No, that's not the name of the game. It helps a lot if you knew the name of F...

All right. All right. All right. If you knew the name of F. Scott Fitzgerald's wife. We start with you, Ken. You had 6,600, and you rode down. What is Zelda? No, that's not the name of the game or the franchise, so it's going to cost you 6,000. You dropped to 600.

Now we come down to Mark Jappinga. He had $20,800, and his response was, what is the legend of Zelda? That's the series. Yes. And you had $7,500. That puts you in the lead for the moment with $28,300. I thought that was going to be the one with Donkey Kang.

Is that one not real? I don't know if Danky Kang's real. Is it not real? Come on. I've only ever seen a photo of it. I would love to think it's real. I think that's photo slop. If that's fake, I'm going to be very upset. I want to know what the last person says.

Will he come up with the legend of Zelda? The square? No way. No, he came up with the name only and i wonder what the question was what is danky kang what is danky kang what is danky kang when you think about it like the chemically like chemically chemically like this is the next level like we're just on that level dave oh you guys are still playing what is this game called again barrels this isn't skippy jump no no it's not skippy jump you want to describe what you're doing i can't it's sort of like skippy it's like tidippy Jump. Do you want to describe what you're doing?

It's sort of like Skippy Jump. It's like Tiddly Wings. You got Tiddly Wings and you got like a film canister, like an old style film canister from like the 1920s. I don't think it's possible. I don't think anybody's ever done this level. This level of barrels? No. The game you just made up?

Level two. Level two is the tough one. Guitar Hero 2, Guitar Hero 3, Guitar Hero 2, Guitar Hero 2, Guitar tough one. Guitar Hero 2. Guitar Hero 3. Guitar Hero 2. Guitar Hero 2. Guitar Hero 3. Guitar Hero 3.

Oh, that's why you have three chips. Guitar Hero 2. All those games. Is that Josh Milrod? Yep. So what did we play right there? We played... We came back in. We played Jeopardy.

We played Jeopardy. Sam Brown. Wheel of Fortune. That was the game. Illuminated. Battleship. Battleship. Battleship, which is, that was on car wash tapes. Battleship.

Transhumanist. Battleship. Car wash. Battleship. Battleship. That's a different game. I'll show you that one in a little bit. That's a game.

I played that before. Car wash number two. I think that was a label that they did. Zachary Mark and Jeff Millam, I believe, were the. They were the boys. That was released in 2010. Dave, Zachary Mark and Jeff Millam, I believe, were the boys. That was released in 2010. Dave, you were straight playing barrels over there, man. Well, it's fun.

Dave likes good old-fashioned fun. Let me ask you a question. I want you to be honest. Pre-internet fun. And I'm not going to turn you in. I know the laws, and I'm not going to turn you in. You guys got any money on this? Not around these parts. You don't have to lie to me

I'm not going to turn you in I'm not wired You can do sports betting now right? There it is Barrels Now you have to give him a back rub or something right? Yeah And then Sky Stadium

Was it one stadium or multiple stadiums? Just one Just one single stadium One single stadium On 2am I think now we're ready to go out this thanks to uh ben zoller we'll mail you 69 tapes get in touch with us and uh let us know where to send them to or i'll just send them awesome you know what you think the louisville slugger factory is still operational yeah you think they're still churning out those bats of

course you think they make each bat out of one tree? Like Bugs Bunny would do it? Yeah. How big a tree are we talking here? Standard. Standard. Standard. Good girl.

Because the core wood is the good stuff, the middle. God, there ain't nothing better than core wood. All the other stuff. That's garbage. That's garbage. I wouldn't even use that for a toothpick. No, no. Get out of here.

That's like the kind of toothpicks they give you at restaurants in the front. Oh, the little thing they're not in the plastic? I'm not talking about Dave's. Individually wrapped, dipped in oils, professional toothpicks that have like the plastic end. I forgot about toothpicks. Remember we had toothpicks? Yeah. He used to carry them around in a little metal container and he used to get tweezers to pull them out.

Because they were like in like an oil. They were in oil. You can't touch them with your fingers. You can't touch the oil. It'll burn your skin right off. You can't touch it. Yeah, you can't touch your eyes after you eat one. Yeah, I was going to ask you how many days

do you generally need to go without touching your eyes after toothpicking? You could just wash your hands. You could just, well, Jesus Christ. Like a peasant? Yeah. Like a peasant. Like a peasant would do?

Wash their hands? All right, let's end this with, we got four more tapes here in the bag. All right, pick. Who wants to go? You do. Me? Who do?

You do. Do what? It's finally my turn. So there's three of us, four tapes left. I can't do that math. I'll pick two. Oh, oh, okay. no i will then we get

into fractions and i just don't understand all that i don't know how to divide by a fraction you know they got the common core they're doing the common core and like it's like they're not teaching them they're not teaching the algorithm yeah uh my kids came home the other day had no clue what 9-11 was i sat him him down. We watched those videos for hours. He watched Loose Change. Let me show you a little thing called Loose Change. I'll explain everything. We watched Loose Change for about three hours on loop.

They come home. They come home. I'm like, how was school? And they're like, good. And I was like, and how much did they talk about 9-11? And they said none. I don't even know. I forgot what it was.

Had to go through all of Loose Change again. You know what the professional level is Joe Of loose change or barrels Barrels Shoot it under the barrel What? That's what they said in loose change I think you have an advantage because you have fingernails

Do you have to bite your fingernails off is what I'm saying I thought you were going to do it It doesn't fit Hold on try again Joe could you do me a favor and lean your mic right into those tiddlywinks? Get right in close to them. Get uncomfortably close. No, don't take it off. Just bend the... Yeah, there you go.

Alright. Now it's near where Dave's going to flick them. Give me some golf music. What a game. Golf music? What is that? Where will he finish? Golf music. What a game. Golf music? What is that? I don't know. Where will he finish? Golf music. I'll set the board.

You set the board off on the golf music. Everyone, please stay in. I don't think it actually fits under there. Okay, here's some BBC golf. I just want to get a good clip of you. Oh, you want to get me? Alright, I'm going to jump over the barrel. Hold on, wait, wait, wait. Hold on. I'm warming up. You will love it enjoy it says

this is golf music it's way too loud it's gonna drown out what just turn the ball together just go i want to watch that go yeah couldn't see because the microphone was in the way didn't enjoy it at all but did you pick up the sound oh god we got this the sound. We had a video of this. Did you get it? I did a slow motion post on Instagram. My phone doesn't do slow motion anymore. What?

It's net neutrality. Out of RAM. Out of RAM. Joe B., get a slow motion video of this. And I build pretty good computers. I'm a guitar hero addict. That was down all the way. Let me try it back up. I'm a guitar hero addict.

Okay, should we play these last tapes? Or do you guys want to keep dicking around with this tiddlywink? Well, I like this game. You know what? This is a game-themed episode. Oh, he's gone. I don't know how to do it. What do you...

I'm too excited. No, no, no. Do it again. I didn't do it. This is going to be good. This is probably our best episode. Go. Oh, whoa, whoa. Jesus, Dave. Air Jordan over here. this is probably our best episode go oh whoa whoa

Jesus Dave air Jordan over here look I'm just leaning back like all like nonchalant like he didn't just it didn't record Dave shall we play a game how about a nice game of chess bad chess a tape

on moon mist which was a label that Dan D, who also ran Excitebike and was in Uneven Universe, I believe is still doing this label. But this was Moon Mist music, which I think is a flavor of Faygo. Moon Mist? I think you're right.

Yeah, and he's from Detroit. So this guy, he's down with the clown. He's down with the clown. Oh, shit. And Eminem. You think he's down with Eminem, too? Oh, yeah. What a dreamboat.

Eminem, too? Hey, hey, Miles. Yeah, it's like Gallagher, too. Eminem's little brother bought it. Something's wrong with my microphone. Because of you, because of the movement? What's wrong with it? Yeah.

Yeah, you fucked it up. You're done, man. Get out of here. What is going on? Peter Friel, who ran Young Tapes. I spoke about it earlier. Peter Thiel? Peter Thiel? Joe Montana, Stephen Young.

You remember when Joe Montana got injured, they brought in Steve Young. That's how it worked, right? Was he the next guy? He was the backup, yeah. Speaking of all the football, the Super Bowl. Super Bowl. You guys catch that one, right? That was he there was the next guy backup speaking of all the football the super bowl super bowl you guys catch that one right that was a good game man bird gang it was the first football game i watched only 10 years but you watched it i went to my parents house i never seen my dad get up off the chair so quickly to high five anyone oh man he was so pumped it was everyone just sitting there and he got up no no and well you know everybody was into

it oh the whole fan the whole hailey the crew was it was it were you excited about it i got a little excited i'm not gonna lie i mean you know special i hear about that play what's that that was the play that they did it was like a special play to the quarterback to the quarterback you know they did they threw it right to him yeah that sob got it with this what they call a touchdown you get six points for it. He got six points for it. Paul at work had to do that tattoo, like the play that's like the little dotted line. He had to do it because-

Someone came in and wanted it. So he could have turned him away. He could have turned him away. He did it. It was a legit good game, though. Was it? You watched it, too? Yeah.

Are you paying attention? No, I just watched it with Jesse. Oh, okay. Nice. But yeah, I turned it on, figuring I'd watch it like the first quarter or whatever, and it was good the whole game. yeah are you paying sides i didn't know i just i just watched it with jesse oh okay nice but uh yeah i turned it on figuring i watched it like the first quarter or

whatever and it was good the whole game so you were gonna watch the first quarter then you stuck around for the entire thing the whole thing what about that justin timberlake

i didn't watch it it was my connect my internet connection wasn't working for that my interconnection was so red hot when he was performing i think he was powering it no

it was i don't know it was bad chess. And someone named Lewis goes on with Peter. I don't know who the Lewis person is, but this came out in 2012 in addition of 28 like recycled tapes. It's got this silver paper that's like white on the inside. It's like a card stock that's white on the inside and reflective silver on the outside.

It's a bad chemical stock that's wet on the inside and reflective silver on the outside. It's a bad chemical. What's up? What's going on? And I got a question for you. If you're in a game and you're on one side, it's Dave and you. Am I offense or defense? Defense for now. But we're hoping to get the ball back.

It's you two and you're against the other people. Who are those other people? The opponents. Opponents. Exactly. You nailed it. Look how smart I am, Dave. Survey said.

And Joe. Joe. Joe. Joe. Joe. Joe. Joe. Joe.

Joe. Joe. Joe. Joe. Joe. Joe. Joe. Joe.

Joe. Joe. Joe. Joe. Joe. Joe. Joe. Joe.

Joe. Joe. Joe. Joe. Joe. Joe. Joe. Joe.

Joe. Joe. Joe. Joe. Joe. Joe. Joe. Joe.

Joe. Joe. Joe. Joe. Joe. Joe. Joe. Joe.

Joe. Joe. Joe. Joe. Joe. Joe. Joe. Joe. Joe. Joe. Joe. Joe. Joe. Joe. Joe. I know what to know. I do all the things as I go. This ain't no game. Opponents.

Tape that came out on Out of Body Records. Who like hyphenates everything every time. No, I'm just kidding. This ain't no game. Psychosexual Spiritual. Is that the game part yeah that's the game part because you know games can also be psychosexual psychosexual and if i'm getting psychosexual you know it's mature themes that's what happens in the avocado jungle oh we're we're back there, huh? What's your favorite mature theme? Psychosexual. Psychosexual easily, right?

Psychosexual thriller. Mike, it was like the biggest softball you ever threw. I like a psychosexual spiritual thriller. Oh, a spiritual thriller. Because I guess I'm a little bit more grown up. You like little... I like to be titillated. Yeah.

I like it when they're action packed. When what? The psychosexual stuff is action packed? No spoilers though. No Dave, I like it boring. You might like an art house type. Classy? Sensual. Yeah, you like a postman.

Cuddling. Like a postman. The postman? Death of a postman. You ever see that play? You ever see plays? No, i've probably never seen a play they just they're on the stage like a high school it's like they don't even know you're there i don't like theater tombstone what did you like about theater i don't know young guns theatrical you know who's good is that i don't like i don't like

theater that has songs in it no i mean yeah musicals yeah people don't sing in real life just like musicals are dumb but the music's just bad it's not good there's no good broadway music none it's all terrible i hear there's a few the people love that hamilton people love hamilton they won't stop talking music it's i don't know people love them yes dave yes everyone's are we all agreed it was good i don't know i didn't see it i Yes, Dave. Yes, everyone's... We all agreed it was good. I don't know. I didn't see it. I have a theory that no one has seen it yet, but we all agree it's good. Everyone's just like, oh, it's great. I bet it doesn't really happen.

Mike Pence saw it. Mike Pence... Didn't he leave during halftime? They pantsed him. During halftime. They pantsed him. They pantsed him during Hamilton. Halftime in Hamilton.

Mike Pence went to Hamilton. They pantsed him. There is like a halftime. He left during halftime. It's got... I don't think... Yeah, they call it halftime. Yeah, you're right. It's Halftime in Hamilton? Mike Pence went to Hamilton. There is like a halftime. He left Dorn Halftime. It's got... I don't think... Yeah, they call it halftime. Yeah, you're right.

It's halftime. Intermission. All plays have halftime. I saw like Annie Get Your Gun or something with Bernadette Peters, my mom. She forgot her gun so they had halftime. Came back with the gun. Shot Mike Pence. I saw it at Three Little Bakers.

Oh, really? Yeah. My parents used to go to Three Little Bakers. And I used to wonder... They used to come home with the matchbooks. And I wonder what the fuck was Three Little Bakers? It's a dinner theater, right? It's a dinner theater, yeah.

Yeah, but it's in the avocado jungle. Avocado jungle. Don't get me started on that. It's an underground club. Opponents. They do a little patty cake. This is from a tape in 2013. It's a C38. Came out in addition of 100 copies. What is a patty cake this is from a tape in 2013 it's a c38 came out in addition of 100 copies uh what is a

patty cake by the way what is a patty cake yeah well they've had so much to learn yeah they are kids i like how you yeah you're never gonna get them if you don't know what a patty cake is i like how he thinks he knows what psychosexual stuff is and then he says oh well what's a patty cake you know what this is this is a classic i know what it is stuff is. And then he says, oh, well, what's a patty cake? You know what this is? This is a classic case. I know what it is. This is a classic case of like, oh, what is a patty cake? It was a rhetorical question. It was a rhetorical question. Let's see if we knew.

Reclaim me my time. I know what it is. Reclaim me my time. Go into Dave's search history and search PAT. And I guarantee it auto fills with patty cake explicit video. Oh, I thought it was P-A-D-D. Okay. Yeah, I know what it is. Explicit video. Oh, I thought it was P-A-D-D. Okay. Yeah, I know what that is.

All right. I know what it is. Classic case of a typo prank. All right. What are you going to pull? What do you got, Dave? I'm going to pull a... What'd you pull out of that big ass bag?

It's Discoverer tape. In collection. I don't get what... That has to do with games. Read the... I want you to look at the label that released this tape. Selected by Andrew. No.

The label... Cover artwork by... No, you're still off. Released by... Keep going, baby. You're red hot. Two Michael Jordans. Two Michael Jordans.

The best. I don't even have two strips of bacon on here. What? I can't believe that. You really dropped the balls. Which is a game. Dropping balls is a game. When you guys

hang out with your retired cop friends, do you ever play drop the balls? Oh yeah. Or do you guys not even have retired cop friends? Do you guys ever play drop the balls? Well that's where you have the best soil. Or we do tickle.

We do tickle. It's like one, two, three. Do you guys do tickle with your cops friends? Oh, I love doing tickle. I love playing tickle. Tickle's a good one. Or when we fart on each other's laps. I'm a guitar hero.

We fart on each other's laps. Discover. That's laps. I'm a guitar hero. Laps. We fart on each other's laps. Discover. That's gross. In collection. This is like, Brandon Nock is the name of the person who, he should do a, like a split.

Brent Nocky? Brent Nocky. Brent Nocky and Brandon. You were thinking that too, huh? Yeah. Yeah. It's like, it's like,

this is why. It's like we finished each other's. I'd like to, I'd like to make a Nocky, like at home I've made some gnocchis before With my mom's leftover Mashed potatoes

Oh nice Oh you like a potato gnocchi Uh This is I like a sweet potato gnocchi Sweet potato gnocchi I love gnocchi But no one else at my house

Likes them So we never eat them What How do you not like them I don't know I don't get it They're amazing They're the best

I like them when they're chewy Yeah I love it when it's chewy Oh it's gotta be chewy Yeah Yeah Um I like them when they're chewy. Yeah, I love it when it's chewy. Oh, it's got to be chewy. Yeah. Yeah. I like them when they're real damp and not chewy. Like, it's more like gummy.

I kind of like it like that, too. I don't like them like... I like them chewy, like bubblegum chewy. This is... Oh, you like to blow a bubble with your knuckles? Yeah. This is, like, B-sides. And it says rarities, but what does it even mean? Like, was discovered...

In addition to 25 that's like a rarity yeah but like all these tapes are like they should make bubble tape that is like spaghetti noodle like a rolled up thing of spaghetti yeah it should be like almost like it's like soaked in sauce you like roll it out the sauce is inside yeah like i think there should be like a sauce like barrier that like you pull it through so it gets sauced on the way out. That's what I mean. And it's steamed.

You have to plug it into the wall because it's got to stay hot. And it's like, I think it should be like a... No, here. Hold on, Dave. Start over. Start over. Imagine this. On the wall, you know the paper towel dispensers in the bathrooms?

Yep. Oh, you want a nice wide... Imagine sheets of lasagna coming out. Oh, sheets of lasagna. I hate Mondays. Are you doing like a Garfield bit? Yeah, I feel like a Garfield bit. I thought I recognized that cat's humor.

All right, discover- I keep thinking you're about to play Jingle Bells with the dog bark. No, you messed it up. I can't do it. I'm not a fucking... I'm not a musician like you, Dave. All right, Dave, then what are you going to end the show with? You're flat.

You're flat. You suck. I'm going to play a little three-legged race. Now, that is a game, a three-legged race. I did that before. You could have found another human. With what? Nothing.

Here at night. I know what he said, and it's gross. It's bad boy stuff. There's sugar. I can see the sugar all over it. I'm a rockabilly greaser. I keep forgetting that you do rockabilly greaser stuff now. I don't approve.

Well, let me ask you this. I do greasing. I smoke lumpy stripes. And Dave, how is that and this is how is that going to affect your bitcoin mining that you've been doing uh we're not going to talk about that right now because you got quite a from what i hear you got you got a rig that goes for days we're not i can't let you do that dave um joe i'm excuse me, Joe. Yes. Dave's got this fucking killer Bitcoin ring. It was underwater.

Don't censor me. Mute, mute, mute, mute, mute, mute. In like cold oil. Mute, mute, mute, mute. And Mike, you're not allowed to tell the secrets about my, my. He's got it. Flip coin. He's got it like in like the cold oil.

I've been sneaking in. I've been sneaking into his house every night and feeding it jerky Joe that's my fake one Mike doesn't know but that's my fake that's his decoy one that's your decoy I've been wasting so much jerky on this decoy

so how many bitcoins do you have now two you're up to two six that's what I want I want someone to have an intense bitcoin like all these computers in like a warehouse I got six. That's what I want. I want someone to have an intense Bitcoin, like all these computers in a warehouse

in a freezing coolant thing, but they only have eight Bitcoins. That's a lot of money. That's a lot. Eight's a lot? Yeah, that's like 80 grand, I think. That's not a lot to me. Right?

No, not to Mike. That's not a lot. It's a very volatile market. I still don't understand it. I don't really understand it. He's saying that's like 80 grand to a guy who like literally owns a 2017 nissan note all right nissan note yeah it's a note it's a versa note no it's it's one car i thought a note was a cell phone you know what i don't think you know what a car is you know what i've been putting gas in this thing and then all it does is play angry birds

all right what are you what are you taking this out with on this games episode see he did the thing that usually does where he he picked it and then he said it right away i was in my own world at that point i gotta say man three-legged race oh that's a game yeah and then he started talking about he was in a three-legged race and my mind started to imagine him dragging another you somehow we got onto pasta i don't know when that happened you pull the lasagna right out in big sheets. It's already cooked. No bake. Oh, I love no bake. And then the soap dispenser is marinara. Oh. So when you leave, basically, basically what's going on here is you have a lasagna.

The lasagna roll on the inside is a long sausage that you cut up after a little while. Yeah. So basically, here's the deal. All right. It's like, you know when you go to a lasagna restaurant, but you have to leave the lasagna to go to the bathroom? Yeah. Not anymore.

What if you didn't? What if? What if you never left the lasagna? What if the chairs have meatballs on the bottom? Like at school when they put the tennis balls on the bottom? Exactly like when you're at school and they put the tennis balls on. There's a minivan that I get behind a lot because I drive for a living. There's a minivan that I see.

And Dave can't get enough of this one. There's this one minivan. He's like a dog chasing the mailman. That has the whole family stickers on the back. And it's like mom, dad, four kids. No, we know what a family is. And then like a space. And then another kid named Lasagna what really yes la like how would you pronounce las gna so they said lasagna las yeah lasagna lasagna

yeah lasagna they love yeah but she's all. But she's all by herself. She's all by herself. All those games. Maybe it's a pet. Might be a pet. Might be a cat. I think they sell pet stickers. I've been hearing a lot about it. They do.

You've been hearing a lot about these people who keep kids in their basement and stuff. Maybe lasagna is like their basement kid. The basement kid. That's not real. That's fake news. It's like this Tide Pod pod thing hey man that's really like a race tape this tape this is robert uh how do you say his last name is it bd or is it baby like warren baby yeah i think it's like warren this guy does like his artwork is incredible uh he's been doing like insane shit for he did like the kesha album. Oh, really? Yeah. And like he does stuff for like, yeah, like he's big baller now. I saw he posted

like a panther illustration that's for the New Yorker for Black Panther, the film. Well, well, well. Nice. That's pretty awesome. Too good, I bet he's not doing any cassettes anymore. Over that. I bet he's, I bet there's no way in hell, throw a J

card into one of these things. I've never done that things dan's getting sleepy um but this was uh fucking tape of the year tabs out tape of the year 2015 oh what robert baby uh three-legged race rope commercial volume two on vitrine uh we saw him is he still in Hair Police? Is Hair Police still a thing? I don't know if they play regularly. I don't know either. Let's go out on this games episode. I think everyone did an excellent job.

I think we should give ourselves a hand. I think if we were playing a game, we won. I think you guys made a game. Those are the tiddlywinks. We made two games No that's Skippy Jump Skippy Jump

And then the adult version And by adult I mean for big boys Bad Chess, Opponents, Discoverer On two Michael Jordans And Skippy Jump Barrels Edition Game over man I hit the barrel Go ahead and say it Dave Three-legged race. Skippy Jump Barrels Edition. Game over, man. It's game over.

I hit the barrel. Joby, you need a... Go ahead and say it, Dave. You smart aleck. Go ahead and say it. You need training wheels. I don't know. uh I don't know. I'm sorry. Thank you. © BF-WATCH TV 2021 so so so so Thank you. so so © BF-WATCH TV 2021 Thank you. Thank you. Session Spirit Session Session

Spirit I'm going to go ahead and do that. Thank you. Thank you. I'm going to go. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. so so Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. so so so Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. I don't know. Thank you. so so so um I'm sorry. Thank you.