Tabs Out Cassette Podcast - Episode #138 | 1.20.19

Episode Date: January 20, 2019

Kenny Login, loopdrive, Hubert Zelmer, Dravier, Bootlicker, Mistletoe, German Army, Mirror of Nature, LXV, Ki Oni, Dearly Departure, and Anastasia Veronski.

You're so dumb. You just don't get it. What tape are you playing? We're going to play some tapes. We're going to play some tapes. We're going to play some tapes. We're going to play some tapes. We're going to play some tapes. We're going to play some tapes.

We're going to play some tapes. We're going to play some tapes. We're going to play some tapes. We're going to play some tapes. We're going to play some tapes. We're going to play some cassette. That could be Sean as a number. I have no clue. We're going to play some cassette. They hear me like, we're going to play some cassette. 30 years later.

We're going to play some cassette. We're going to play some cassette. I played the goddamn tape. Played the goddamn tape. Lordy, I hope there are tapes. Tabs out. Tabs out. Cassette podcast.

We're in. Episode, and I'm not looking for it because I already know it, so why would I even be doing that? The 30s are hard to remember for some reason. The dirty 30s. So you're saying we're in the 30s. Dave, what episode number is this? I'm having a midwife crisis.

I see what you did there. That's a good one. Have you never said that one before? He said it to me in private. He said we've had that discussion in private. So this is... Episode 138? 138. Episode number 138. I'm like...

I'm Joe and I got a little cold. Ooh. Joe B. Joe B's a little sick. I'm Dave. Got the sniffles. You'll hear this a lot throughout the thing. Makes good radio.

Let me get one clean for the board. Let me get one more. And then... Let me get one more and then let me get one more okay i'll just turn your highs all the way up yeah let's hear you now yeah okay he's good well this is besides joe's sniffles which i think are very nice i'm gonna like it i think there's a lot cute i think we got a lot of very cute a lot of outsiders listen to this show we're in some freaky shit some weird shit and they hear that and that might just be what does it for them. That might be the one thing

they've been looking for, if you know what I mean. Boo-boo! Sound track of my spank videos. David. Maybe later I'll blow my nose. Oh, that's a whole separate kink, I think. You might need to have your own podcast for that.

Two opposing people. No, this is very special because... Pizza, pizza, pizza! For the first time in a long time, we got pizza. I think this is going to be... I got the pizza. Should we make this a viral episode? How do you make that?

Because we got a pizza? Dave came in here. Do you know how to make... I've been trying to figure it out. Dave came in here. I know how to do it.'ve been trying to figure it out. Dave came in here. I know how to do it. You get the most shares. Okay.

He came in here and he said, Mike. We're a fucking pizza. He said, look at me. He's the new sensation in the nation. Pizza boy USA. He's the flying saucer innovation. I said, Davey, what do you got to say to me, boy? I'm going to shake my cute little butt for a second. Let's start moving. What's this, an octopus?

I mean, I'm talking about a 12-foot slice of pizza. Pizza, pizza, pizza. I'm eating it right now. It tastes so good. How about cassette tapes? We had the pizza. This is going to be a viral episode. I'm really excited about the viral episode.

We've been talking for like three minutes, and we're not even talking about dang music. We should talk about dang cassettes. I said cut the fat this one, too. Oh, you did, didn't you? Yeah. And we've been just doing the whole, I play Pizza Boy USA. Pizza Boy USA.

Because Dave's my little pizza boy. He is. I love you, Dave. You're my pizza boy. I got the pizza boy. I'm a baker, not a plumber. Aren't I the pizza boy? It was Dave's idea, though.

All right, since Joby, you did, it was his idea. But you did pick up the pizza pie. You're wheels, we call you. That's for sure. You want to play the first pie. Your wheels, we call you. That's for sure. You want to play the first tape, my man? Go for it. Just do it. Like Nike says.

I'll play this Kenny Loggin tape. I love that name. It's so funny. It is funny. The thing's freaking vaporwave. Right from the cover, you can see it. The classic elements of vaporwave. Kenny Loggins. There's agin' vaporwave. Oh, I mean, right from the cover, you can see it. The classic elements of vaporwave. And let's not...

Kenny Loggins. Let's start some friggin' computers on there. There's a window that's open. They're pretty good computers. A food court or something. A statue. It's called Food Court After Hours. Before we...

Of course it is. Before we get to that, I want to talk about the name Kenny Loggins. It's funny. It's good. That's a funny joke. It's like Kenny Loggins, but it's Kenny Loggins. But you're Loggin's good. That's a funny joke. It's like Kenny Loggins but it's Kenny Loggins. But you're logging on.

Logging in. Logging in. We used to call it logging in and logging on. We used to call that all the time when you get on the net. Yeah, I get it. Get those sites.

I love sites. Go after those sites. Remember how crazy it was when you didn't have to log in anymore? You were just always connected? Yeah. Oh, here it is in the web. Yeah.

You're part of it. You don't have to dial up anymore. The amazing Spider-Man they called me. This thing's frigging vaporwave though, right? This Kenny Loggins? Oh, big time. He uses like a special font you gotta get. Special font.

I don't know if it's hard vapor or not. How hard is it? Touch it. Food court after hours upgraded. What label is this on? Cosmic Black Limited in an edition of 50. It also says C Burns slash Cosmic Black Limited. C Montgomery Burns from the Simpsons?

I don't know. I don't know. I do know that this came out earlier, maybe in a digital form, and it has been perhaps- Released on cassette? Yeah, maybe in like a digital form, and it has been perhaps... Released on cassette? Yeah, maybe there's been some changes to it, some remixing. They get in there

and they remix the stuff. They can do the remixing now. They do. This does look tight, though. Yeah, I like the little price tag, thrift store price tag. Oh, I didn't notice that. That's good. File's done. Alright, Davey boy. My pizza boy. You're my special pizza right, Davey boy. My pizza boy. You're my special pizza boy, and it's your turn.

I don't know where my tape is. Toss a pizza, roll a pizza up and all around the pizza boy. Haley, I've got a question for you. How about you sit this one out, buddy? What? How about you sit this round out? You know what? Yeah, I can.

It's no skin off my ass. I'm fine with that. I'm man enough to do it. You're man enough to do it. Yeah. The only reason I ask is because, well, I'm going to have to ask somebody to sit out, and obviously that has to be you. It'd have to be.

Yeah, it would have to be. It's more of a choice. We all have a choice. There's always a choice. This spinning blue marble, Dave, we all have a choice. What are you going to play, Dave? Two tapes? Yeah, I was going to play two tapes off this label that is new to me.

We got some stuff in the mailbag from Outlines. Oh, Outlines has been sending us stuff for a while. This is the first I've ever gotten. This is Mike, by the way. I don't get to play a tape this round, but I'm still here. So this is, yeah I'm still here. So this is two tapes, one by Loop Drive and the other by Hubert

Zemler. I just got a Loop Drive installed on my new Mac. I think Hubert Zemler was actually the person that invented the Loop Drive. I heard that. I read that. I just heard about it. So you probably heard it from me, if we're being honest. I really like the aesthetic

of this label I don't know if this is like a batch specific aesthetic oh I like that art it's always black and white yeah it's like it looks like some Bauhaus type

that left one looks blue to me blue let me see it close up I feel like my color it's not it's blue it's an octopus it's blue but it's got like

a brushed texture yeah that's totally a color it's got like a brushed texture to it. Yeah, that's totally a color. It's not black and white at all. Let me see. You're giving the people false information. I cannot... Is this why you're...

This is why you're out. This is why I'm out, right? I might sit out the next round, too. I've gotten some emails that people were like... People are emailing you directly. Yeah, they're like, I got this tape because Mike said it was black and white artwork, and it's color. It's color. I really like the way that they numbered the tapes, too.

Yeah. Joe, you're probably not going to like it. Oh. Probably. Don't rattle them. Because it's handwritten. Don't rattle his cage with a twist and turn. But open up that J card all the way.

A lot of little pieces of paper in there. Yeah. A download code and a sticky, I think. Sticker. Sticky. I think it is a sticky. Oh, okay. What do we got here?

So on the inside of the spine. What is it? The number, like, so if it's seven out of 50, the number seven's all the way over on the left and the 50 is all the way over on the right. Let me see. Let me be the judge of that. I think it's nice.

This one, though. 50 and then six and a V. Yeah, what is that? Is that supposed to be 19 out of 50? Oh, maybe 19. I don't know. They used a good pen. They used a great pen. It's a nice stock.

It always is a nice stock. And they call them all... The first one's groove one 1, the second one's Groove 2. That's what it says on the spine. You have a few of these. We've played stuff on this. No doubt. No doubt about it, Dave.

Dave, rest assured, don't stay up all night tossing and turning. Believe me. You gotta believe me. You gotta believe me. Do you have a sticker in that one too? I did but I just dropped it Oh no it's here You don't get two stickies

Them's the rules So yeah I'm gonna play these two tapes And I'm Mike I'm still here but I'm not gonna play any This time But tune in cause who knows what will happen Next time Joe picks. On round two.

And then you have to sit that one out, obviously, too. Because then I would play one, and then that's three, so we can't do any more after that. Three! All right, you filthy animals. Let's play these tapes. You ready? Yes. Then I got something to say. I'm going to start with

loop drive, and then i'll do that okay yeah yeah yeah get that also last five minutes Don't be closing in five minutes so so so On our final lockdown, everything is 95% off Our silver, gold, and gold Everything in the store, 95% off our silver, gold, and gold Everything in this store 95% off Thank you. We want to take this time to say thank you for being such loyal members of our store

and shopping with us through these years. We want to thank you for shopping at your best. of our store and shopping with us through these years. We want to thank you for shopping at your Patrick K. Martin. There's nothing going on there. It's pretty spooky. Thank you. There's nothing going on there Thank you. It's the grease. Thank you. So what's happening is a lot of stores, particularly department stores like Sears, Macy's, Kmart are closing. And what that does to a mall is A the mall loses its biggest tenant, the tenant that's paying the most in rent, the most in providing the mall with the money to keep the lights on. And it also severely decreases foot traffic to the mall since most people go to the mall to go to these big what they're called anglers People really want deep, deep discounts. Deep, deep discounts. Deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, discount so when loss slows

it just isn't that valuable The uh Thank you. Thank you. get up Thank you. you Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. I don't know. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. I like the wing chimes. Oh my goodness. Oh my goodness gracious. There we go. Kenny Loggin. Mike, we got this, buddy. It's kenny logan we drive this is still mike i'm still i'm still here hubert zellmer that kenny logan let's just face it it's vaporwave yeah good sales good sales it was interesting what's with them in the mall it's the consumerism they're talking about. That's the, yeah. I don't think that was it. It's a black mirror.

No. Don't you dare bring that up. Too scary. It says on the band camp, all tracks have been remixed, remastered, and recontextualized by the original artist.

Recontextualized? With a wealth of dialogue sample gold. And the artwork has been completely redone for this format. Oh. Edition of 50. Or edition of 40, excuse me. 40. I thought it said 50 somewhere on here.

I think it says both. It does. It says 50 copy limited cassette run, and then the bottom says edition of 40. Global Gates? Two. So how's that add up, tough guy? Something's not adding up.

Get a campilator. Download an app. All right. Can I play one now? Or do I get to play two? What's the circumference? How's this work, Dave? What happens?

I play two. I play two and Joe, you play one. I don't know if that's how it works. That's definitely how it works. We've done this so many times. No, if I play two, that means Joe has to do two, and then I play one, because then we have to do three. There's no way.

I get to go, and here's how we're going to do it. You go, Joe, and then I'll do two. Oh, okay. A lot of people love the roasted pepper on the pizza. I love it. I'm going to do this. This is what they call a power play, on the pizza. I love it. I'm going to do this. This is what they call a power play, Joe.

Oh, I like it. Well, I'm showing Dave. You thought you could have Joe go, and then you can dumb him and play too? I'm going to do it now. I'm going to look him dead in the eye when I do it. Look at me, you coward. Smoking these meats. Twist and turns.

All right, Joe. What do you got? Well, I'll play this dravier tape on not not fun dravier like something that's dravy but more dravy it's not the draviest it's not the draviest not by far spirit channels

not not fun number 352 did you ever hear that Ozzy Osbourne song dravy train dravy train we'll go ahead and sing some Dave 52. Did you ever hear that Ozzy Osbourne song? Gravy Train? Gravy Train. Yeah, sing me. We'll go ahead and sing some, Dave. How's it go?

I don't know the words. Oh, what a guy. They love him so when he flips that dough, he's Pizza Boy USA. Something like that. That's a good song. And I'm going to play the title track. That's what that's called, right? Well, I don't know. Is it the title of the tape?

Yeah. Is the track called Spear Channels? Yes. And that's the title of the tape. That's absolutely the title track. You nailed it. The titular. The hammer on the nail.

One shot right in the wood. Nailed it. Nailed it. I think people do it on purpose. He does. Because he's one of the best. He's Joe Big. He's one of the best. He's Joe Big.

You got anything you want to say, Joe? I'm the best. Oh, wait. Thank you. You tie-dyed this cover yourself or it come like this? I think it came like that. I do dabble in a little tie-dye sometimes. It's fun.

Yeah. You can't remember. You don't know what it's going to look like. You can't remember if you tie-dyed that one? Is that what you're saying? No, I don't remember if I did that one. Will you think about it and let us know? I'll think about it. I do so much tie-dyeing.

I dabble a lot. Only in the summertime. Have you ever done a tape J card? No. I've done some paper marbling. Is that paper marbled? Wait a minute. You have done that.

Come on in, Nip. Come on in, Logan. You can't tie dye paper, Mike. Jeez. The tying is in tie dye. That's where you get the name from. You can marble paper. I've done that a lot.

You've done that a lot? Yeah. What's that process? What is marbling paper? Where you have the pigment is on the water, and then you put the paper down. I that a lot. You done that a lot? Yeah. What's that process? What is marbling paper? Where you have the pigment is on the water and then you put the paper down. I love that song. Is that Cream? Pigment on the water. Let's just play your two tapes.

Well, who's Dravier? I don't know who Dravier is. Dravier is Caleb Draves. Oh. Caleb Draves sounds like the name of a character on like a show, like a supernatural teen Netflix show. Caleb Draves. He's like the oneves sounds like the name of a character on a show, like a supernatural teen Netflix show. Calib Draves. He's like the one who's like- Looks like Ben Shapiro.

He's the bad, yeah. But he owns the nightclub and the city. And it's like, we're getting a shipment of proxoid in. Raw. Raw. He's down at the docks. You think Calib Draves is going to hear about this? Because he's also the superhero. Or he has a- Wait. He's down at the docks. You think Caleb Draves is going to hear about this? Because he's also the superhero.

Wait. He's the drug dealer? No, no, no. He's a good guy. He owns the city. He owns the nightclub. And he's a bad boy. He's a bad boy, but he's the good guy. I'm going to tell you this. Caleb Draves, bad boy, good heart. He's complicated. I like a well-rounded character. I know you do. What's the show called? Well-rounded character.

That is what it's called. I think it's called Spectacle colon A Well Rounded Character semi colon Mystic Nights. Mystic Nights. I love it. And it gets a little... Write it up. It's called Well Rounded Character after you translate it back into English.

I get to play two tapes. Yeah. And no one's going to stop me from doing this that's what I heard Dave can you mute him? yeah we can mute him so in Russia in Russia they have the Die Hard trilogy

and when you translate it back into English it's Strong Nuts no it's not no there's no way translate it back into English as strong nuts? No, it's not. There's no way. What's the other one? Strong nuts too? Strong nutters too? Stronger nuts? Stronger nuts.

Really? That's so weird. Strong nutter. Strong nuts. I voted for strong nutter. He was a good councilman. That's for sure. I'm going to play. We just got some tapes.

It's a label called I Hate My Records. They hate them. Why? I think that's why they sent them to us. Joe, we were talking a little bit earlier about Roman numerals. We were talking about Roman numerals. This is I Hate My Records XIX. X

is 10. It's 19. Because you fucked up a Roman numeral tattoo. No, they fucked it up. Face tattoo. They just wanted one, and he did a V. I did a two. It's like, you know it's not a V. It's just the number two. Two. This is a C30.

I got a note here that says release number oh it says release number sounds like dirty movie like an xix movie i guess i didn't joke at it and hash out george rayner george rayner long dominic o'doghue who's these people this is like an alien passengers type jammer with the you know the clear cover shit oh I see what they did here

they're not they're not I think they're from London actually I see what they did here which is no it's fine it's very nice I think it's the have I said what this is yet it's a lizard you talked about a lot of stuff I haven have i said what this is yet it's a lizard you talked a lot about a lot of stuff i haven't said what it even is yet what is it you think i should do it now or should i wait it's bootlicker bootlicker burial practices is the name of the tape that's scary

it's there no it's scary i gotta i'm gonna let you boys in a little secret i'm not scared but i'm gonna sit outside when you guys play this one just get some air now let's go to ask dave why are your knees shaking like that my knees are shaking your knees are shaking if you're not scared why are you scared i gotta go to the bathroom is what it is you're right i've been holding it a while well hold on let me show you this you're gonna want to go to the bathroom right away i'm not scared look at this don't play it look at this it's I don't want to look at a skeleton. It's a friggin' skeleton head. I don't want to look at it. It's a friggin' skeleton head.

I like nice things. It's a friggin' skeleton head, and it's a bad photocopy. They did, like, kind of a harsh noise-style photocopy. Goodbye. So it's even scarier. Goodbye. They went to Kinko's. Goodbye.

The file's done. Goodbye. I got a virus. Hold on. All right, Dave finally left. Stop slamming the goddamn door. Ha ha. Ha ha.

They went to Kinko's. They said, I need a photocopy of this skeleton head. And first of all, the guy said, that's probably too scary, but I'll let you do it anyway. But they said, let me use the old machine. You're going to break the machine. I'm surprised, actually. That's the scariest thing anybody's ever tried to copy.

You can't do that. You bring up a good point, Dave. I'm surprised a lot of these harsh noise labels. I'm surprised they don't break the copy machines. It's too freaking scary. It's way too scary. I'm shaking in my boots with some of them. I saw one.

What do you have on it? I'm too scared. You're too scared. I don't want to know. I don't like horror movies. I don't like scary stuff. Man was in a chain. I don't like haunted houses, like Frightland. A man was in a chain I don't like haunted houses

Like Frightland A man was in a chain In a chain Oh my hands Why are your hands so wet? Because you're scared You're sweating I get it

Mistletoe Mistletoe Vampiric Gaze 1918 It's too scary Dave's still scared Dave come back in mistletoe mistletoe vampiric gaze 1918 dave's still scared dave come back in i can't do it dave's dave's outside the room but he's peeking in with his hands around the the threshold goodbye goodbye this is john pile friend of the show john pile isn't that a lot like a live tape right well of his performance it's like a rehearsal

oh is that what it is it says rehearsal one right on the back you can check on that and you can look at it I thought he told me okay released

it's like a set that he actually played in Delaware not that long ago like a month ago and this is him I guess he's got I guess some of us

can just do it I just get my gear and I go, man, I'll figure out when I get there. And I just fucking play the fuck. I blow people's fucking heads off. Some people have to practice. It's an edition of 16. It says a private edition.

I don't know if that is. He's a sicko, so that might have something to do with his dick or something like that. A private edition. I don't know if that is. He's a sicko, so that might have something to do with his dick or something like that. A private edition. Yeah, what's that even mean? It's got a frigging, I already said it,

the hell has a skeleton head on the cover. Maybe it is. I'm in on something cool, man. I know. I got one. Is yours like this? It's pink. Oh, to get back to how the copy,

the quality of it is, just to finish that up, they asked to use, there's a scary black and white machine in the basement. It's got cobwebs on it. It's pink paper and it's got this

off, it's almost a pink tape shell if you're in the right room. What color is that? It's unflavored saltwater taffy covered shell. That's a weird color. It's like unflavored saltwater taffy-covered shell. Yeah, that's a weird color. It's too mean. It's too rough, and it's too scary.

And you're lucky we got pizza. It's very scary. It's an old-fashioned copy machine, too. It's like from the vampire days. A goblin arranges a bunch of spiders in the shape of the copy, and he irons them on. I don't know anymore. I just want to say I'm starting to regret

that we made this the viral episode because now I'm thinking of all the people we're going to scare. And it just drives me batty. And I just, let's just play it. Let's play the tapes. Just play it. Even though they're rough Thank you. so

so so so Thank you. Thank you. so Thank you. so so Thank you. Thank you. so so Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. I love the way we hold these frogs. Hello, the build focus for us. What do you see? You. Fire. We mark our friends.

Submark your. Fire. To mark your final war Blue Devil, will you bear us the debt? Please enter your final war When your tongue of the long barrow is cooling with pain When you enter, you are fighting for A lone field of coffee sprouts When you enter, you are fighting for Bye. You're fighting for. When the sun on Long Barrow is cool today.

When you answer, you're fighting for. Thank you. Thank you. The Veil of Hope The Veil of Hope The Veil of Hope The Veil of Hope The Veil of Hope The Veil of Hope The Veil of Hope The Veil of Hope

The Veil of Hope The Veil of Hope The Veil of Hope The Veil of Hope The Veil of Hope The Veil of Hope The Veil of Hope The Veil of Hope

The Veil of Hope The Veil of Hope The Veil of Hope The Veil of Hope The Veil of Hope The Veil of Hope The Veil of Hope The Veil of Hope

The Veil of Hope The Veil of Hope The Veil of Hope The Veil of Hope The Veil of Hope The Veil of Hope The Veil of Hope The Veil of Hope

The Veil of Hope The Veil of Hope The Veil of Hope The Veil of Hope The Veil of Hope The Veil of Hope The Veil of Hope The Veil of Hope

The Veil of Hope The Veil of Hope The Veil of Hope The Veil of Hope The Veil of Hope The Veil of Hope The Veil of Hope The Veil of Hope

The Veil of Hope The Veil of Hope The Veil of Hope The Veil of Hope The Veil of Hope The Veil of Hope The Veil of Hope The Veil of Hope

The Veil of Hope The Veil of Hope The Veil of Hope Veil of Hope Veil of Hope Veil of Hope Veil of Hope Veil of Hope We will destroy the fireball. We will burn. We will burn. We will destroy the fireball. The time has come.

We will burn. We will burn. We will destroy the fireball. Destroy the fireball. I'm sorry. Thank you. I'm going to go ahead and get back to you guys. Thank you. I'm going to go ahead and do a little bit of a run-through. so I'm going to go ahead and get back to the car. The Thank you. Thank you. I'm going to go ahead and get back to the car. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. so Dravier, bootlicker, mistletoast. Mistletoast. Too scary! That was too scary. It was way too scary. And everyone knows it. What did I have to say?

Oh, yeah. I was gonna... Oh, I wanted to mention that John Pyle does the label Beyond the Ruins. That's what I wanted to mention. And this is not on that. It's a self-release. What is Beyond the Ruins? Beyond the Ruins is his tape label. No, but I'm asking. Oh, you mean what is there? Probably something gross. Probably like a

dildo nobody knows where it came from. That's probably why he named the label that. That's up to him. That's his own shit. A dirty flashlight. How dirty? Like it's been rolled around. It's never been used, but it's just been dropped on the ground.

That does not... I wouldn't call that dirty. No, it's dirty like a second baseman had it stuck on his shoe for a whole season. On his shoe? Yeah. Yeah. Speaking of ways we could have went viral with this one, and I still do think this should be the viral one, why don't we we should have did it from the march march for life

we should i bet ben shapiro would have lent us his laptop dave would you kill toddler hitler no not baby hitler too cute too cute three even i'm gonna say if even if you dress up a baby in a little i don't want to go i don't i know i shouldn't be saying this i say, even if you dress up a baby in a little, I don't want to go, I know I shouldn't be saying this. I know it. But if you put a baby in a Nazi outfit, it would still look cute. You're right. I think, yeah.

Babies are always cute. But by the time it got to a two-year-old, if it's still wearing it. No, that's, no, it's inappropriate. Then you kill it. That's the end of that one, yeah. Then you kill it. I'd do it in so many ways. All right.

Now, are we back to just doing this as a team again, a regular round where all of us do one? Who starts? Me? Dave? Yeah, yeah. I'm all for that. But you can sit the next one out, probably.

No, you start now. Because you had me start the last one. Well, no, I want Dave to start. Oh, no, I want Dave to start. Yeah, he's my pizza boy. He's a pizza boy. Okay, well, speaking of baby Hitler, I'm going to play this German Army tape.

Oh, good segue, Mike. There was no lyrics on that part. Which German Army tape is this? They put out so many, you can't keep up. So many. And it makes you wonder at one point, you just say like this. You get another one in the mail, and you look up in the mirror, you see yourself in the mirror, and you can't keep up. It makes you wonder at one point, you just say like this, you get another one in the

mail and you look up in the mirror, you see yourself in the mirror and you go, another one. Another one. They're all good. It must be like, by this point it must be like a friggin' Andy Warhol scene over there. The factory? The factory. There's just people.

They're all German Army. They're all doing it. Muzan Editions. Muzan Editions. Muzan Editions. A label from... How do you spell that? M-U-Z-A-N. Muzan.

Muzan. Good job, Dave. Hey, Muzan. I got to say, Dave. Hey, Muzan. You fucking Muzan. You're going to do good at your quarterly report, Dave. You're doing pretty good tonight. You've been bringing some burners. And now you're bringing do good at your quarterly report dave when i you're doing pretty good tonight you've been bringing some burners and now you're bringing this one here's one thing i want to say

though give it to me and i don't and i know i shouldn't be saying this i know it you have another tape that you brought on this label yes are you going to play both of them and just me this time and we leave joe out oh you could do that dave i yeah i was thinking about that you could do that let's do it i'd be fine with it all right let's do that then i'm a little scared but i'll do it i've never i've never been this scared during the podcast so the german army tape which one is it mangus colorados uh many colorados yeah many color i thought it was mangoes in Colorado but it might be I know I know I mean yeah I just I know Spanish for a

whole semester you know anything I'm sorry little Spanish myself one of the dumbest people I know but yeah let me see that way this is a label that like uh oh then what's the other one? You don't really identify. Oh, the other one. Don't get me started on the other one. This one's real fancy. The name of the project is Mirror of Nature. Oh, are you playing the mic or am I playing the mic?

Yeah, who's playing the tape? Sample that little laugh. Isolate that. Take a dance dance take a chance up and all around the pizza boy look at it go look at it dough

I think he says look at it dough look at it dough pizza pizza that's what I say when I'm making the pie look at that dough where did the German Army tape go?

who's got it? I'm holding it in my hand. No, you're not. That's the other one. Oh, your hand. Jesus Christ. Two hands. Jesus Christ, his hands are so big,

he can hold tape in it. He'd palm a tape. He only knows it's there. What the photograph reproduces... This is a fortune cookie that I just picked up, by the way. What the photograph reproduces to infinity has occurred only once. Think about that. That's the name

of the tape, right? Yes, by Mirror of Nature. Say it again. Read it again. Yeah. I want to hear it again. What? See, the more you think about it, the harder it gets. Turn your microphone up just a touch. Not too much like you're trying to steal the show, but just a little bit. Reproduces? What the photograph

reproduces to infinity has occurred only once. What's it, first of all? So a picture. That's some what the bleep do you know type stuff. I know, I know, I know, I know, and I'm scared and I know. But why does it have to be so long is my question. It's so many words. I'm going to be here all day.

All right, I burned my library card for a reason. Now you have me reading with the tapes. It seems like a really long way to describe what a photograph does. Read it again. What the photograph reproduces to infinity. Hey, what the photograph here. Has occurred only once. Read it one more time.

I cut you off. I talked over top of you. It's got this little card in it. Oh, Jesus. Is it a download card? Is it one of these you. It's got this little card in it. Oh, Jesus. Is it a download card? Is it one of these things? It's a thick little card. It looks like a thick cardstock, huh? Yeah, nice thick cardstock, and it's got like this...

Is that like a one-by-two little card? It's got this flower with a red stripe going through it or something. Little plant. What is it? It's very nice. It's an art piece. It's a little art piece, yeah. A very important piece. I'm going to hang it up in my dollhouse. It seems like it could be a cool card little art piece, yeah. A very important piece. I'm hanging it up in my dollhouse.

It seems like it could be a cool card in a game. How is your dollhouse, Dave? Oh, it's great. Yeah, it could be a cool card in a game. Yeah. Like, that's the card that you give somebody and they lose? That's one of the skills I learned. No!

I had four yans. Yeah. You're doing this and I had four yans. I just gave it to Dave and then he lost it. Is it a magnet? What's the name of the game? No, no, no. It's card talk, but it just seems like a magnet.

What's the name of the game? Be Squittle? Squittle. You just got squittled. Yeah. You don't want to go squittled. Squittle is the name of the flower. Don't get squittled.

Don't get squittled. Yeah, don't get squittled. That's the tag on the box. It's called Squittle. Don't get squittled. Now, this is, I like how the German Army tapes, this orange shell with that green sticker

really pops on it. Oh, that does pop. Pop, pop, baby. They put like that, you know, that mid-90s like spell out the German Army spell out. I'm getting really into Sloppy's World of Fame if I get that references.

Give me the other tape. Which one? The Mirror of Nature. What's it called? You know how I got it right here. What the photograph reproduces to infinity has only occurred once. Period.

The title's so long they need a punctuation. So when you take a picture, it doesn't change is what you're telling me. Hold on, let me read it one more time. Let me just read it one more time. What the photograph reproduces to infinity has occurred only once and then a period at the end. Jesus Christ, man.

That's like a sentence. Can we take a break? Let's just take a quick break. Okay, we're back. What the photograph reproduces to infinity. Infinity's what the photograph reproduces to infinity. Infinity's

what the photograph reproduces to infinity has occurred only once. What the photograph? Joe, did you want to do it? What does it mean? I don't want to do it.

And then there's a picture on the cover or whatever. I don't know what it means. No one knows what it means. And it looks like, with the label that it has. I like that. Yeah, it looks like a tape you'd grip at the thrift store. Yeah. That's like, you know. Like a self-help tape.

How to feel better about your sweaters. How about your sweaters? Some bullshit like that. I don't think I've ever seen a tape like this before with this. The hand ticking on the crest? The pattern on it. Bowties at home. Well, did you see the German Army one?

It's got the same thing on that iron shell. It really pops. It's got that chunky crest. Oh, yeah. I've never seen that before. You see that? It's like a lot of people like Gucci was doing that. Gucci?

This goes in that one. Oh, did it? Gucci's a funny name because it's like tickling. All right. And then I get to play one, right? Then you play one. Payload by LXV. Payload.

That's what I'm going to play. File done. Is there still a slight tinge of that echo on my voice? No, it's still fading out. I guess I have that net. No, I still hear it. I know I hear it. You're full of shit, man. now yeah I guess have that net this tip no I still here I know I hear it you're full of shit man LXV payload on a nomia

and no me number 42 is tape count an addition of 42 David Wesley Sutton well these primary colors on this friggin cover with this have to I hear it all right enough grab ass do you hear it move it do you move it I don't know you're talking about. You freaking look at this thing,

it's like a freaking Lichtenstein. Look at this thing. That's a very important piece. Yeah, that's nice. It looks fucking tight. That cover's awesome. And this tape is fucking tight, too. There was a time when people said that seriously.

No more grab ass. Stop grab assing. Was there? This was recorded in Philadelphia.adelphia what uh when do you think that was dave in the 70s yeah probably like 70s yeah like something that was like the height of grab ass something the principal says we're playing great yeah yeah when you're like get back to class cut it out with the grab ass yeah when you're you're tussling with your buddies kids had grab ass posters on their wall grab Grab ass t-shirts.

They loved the grab ass, right? They loved doing it. It was fun. It's just good old fashioned horseplay. The principal didn't want you doing it. He didn't want you playing grab ass. No playing grab ass in the building. Too mean.

Too rough. All right, that's the one I'm going to play. Yep. It's too mean and it's too rough. Those were as simpler times we just try to grab each other's butts wait it was fun it was literal prank yeah just run around grab ass was literal yeah it was literal i thought grab ass was just like just general horseplay you turkey and then you grab horseplay it's general horseplay people weren't walking around grabbing asses were they well it's the 70s 70s probably yeah disco disco man yeah it's a different time it was it wasn't now all right you want to play these tapes you want to do some twists and turns with these

friggin experimental tapes twist and turns is this it no no we got one more to this. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. Thank you. I'm going to go ahead and turn it off. Thank you. I'm going to go ahead and do that. Thank you. I'm going to go ahead and do that. The The The Thank you. The The The Thank you. The Thank you. The I'm going to take a deep breath. The The The Thank you. I'm going to take a deep breath. Thank you. I'm sorry. Thank you. I'm sorry. Thank you. I'm sorry. so I'm sorry. The only heart that shines in the light And the world inside me Existence I believe in you The world is released Inside of me It's a space inside of an angel in me This was and it will be like Blaze of the suits

I am the new me We'll be right back. so Thank you. uh uh Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Mike, stop goofing. Stop goofing. All right, seriously, stop goofing. Stop goofing. All right, seriously, stop. Holy. Look at those tapes, Dave. Dave, you're bringing so many twists and turns to me tonight. You're such a good guy, man.

German Army. And Mirror. I'm just going to go right through it Mere of Nature. What the photograph... Hold on. Yeah, we're back. You all right? You with us?

What the photograph reproduces to infinity... Why don't you take a picture of the life longer? Only happens. That's only a... I fucked up. Let me start over. How many do you have? You have none left, right?

I have none left. Okay. No, we each have one left. No, because Dave played... Oh, no. I played it four times. I have two left. Do the math.

Oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I failed math. I failed math. I play two, and you play one. Okay, so you do your two, and then I I'll do my one and I get to end it strong and make everybody proud. Alright, then go.

What are you going to do? And Joe, thanks for going. You got the cold? This Keone. You're still doing it. Thank you. I don't know how to say what the tape is called. I drink Keone all the time. You like guys like Keone? Loxodonta? I just saw my Loxodontas yesterday.

I go to my Loxodontas every month. This is a really pretty tape. It's a pink clear shell. White imprinting. White imprinting. Oh, shit. It's a little elephant in the... Would you say the jungle?

Let me see. The forest. It's like that folk... It's a forest elephant. It's a forest elephant. It's the mythical forest elephant. The forest elephant. It's the mythical forest elephant. The imprint... An olifant.

An olifant from Lord of the Rings. They're making a new Lord of the Rings board game, Joe. What? Yeah. Really? Yeah. Fantasy flight. Might be kind of late, but Joe, talk into the mic part right there.

Might be kind of late. Yeah, late to the episode. Looks like it's going to be tight. I'm excited. Speaking of tight, this shell, it's got that full cover print. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It doesn't cut you off.

The full thing. And it's this clear pink and you can hold it up and you see the one from the other side. Yeah, it's nice. All the trees and the elephants. A proud animal. An elephant. Yeah, it's beautiful. It's beautiful. It's very beautiful. Can I look at it one more time? Give it to him one more time.

I don't know what label is this one again. That's Keanu. It's Pyramid Blood. Pyramid Blood. Oof. Pyramid Blood. Did you ever have Pyramid Blood? I never had Pyramid Blood. I'm a boy. I get Pyramid Blood once a month. You should go see your

Loxodonta. Go see your Loxodonta. Go see your Loxodonta. And then I'm going to play... What are you going to play after that? Oh, Jesus Christ. Joby. Jesus. Start this whole show over. Mike's on his pyramid.

What? I told you not to bring it up. I knew you guys' cycles were... I got all these coyotes all around me. Yeah, boy. I got all these coyotes all around me Yeah boy I like I don't know if the audience knows You leave little notes sometimes Don't read my notes

Let me see it first This one's fine It's totally fine Sex club OST And then in quotes it says Horny, Baby dash Austin Powder. Horny Baby.

How would you say I described it? Perfect. Sex Club OST. The other one you put this name. It's Slaps. And you put the high school S. But you messed up the second S. Corny baby.

Which might have been on purpose. I think it was on purpose. You know, like when people mess up... Yeah, when they mess up. I love when people mess things up. Like when they tag things and they mess it up. I love it. It's my favorite.

Looking at this tape makes it look like all the color from the world has disappeared. It's completely grayscale. It's got favorite. Looking at this tape makes it look like all the color from the world has disappeared. It's completely grayscale. It's got the white back Norelco, the infamous white back Norelcos. Infamous. But the tape's like a beige. The tape is a beige with that white sticker on it. Oh, wait.

No, it's more gray, actually. I was looking at it. You got to get in the right light. In the right light. Different light. This is silk. Oh, 100. Is it 100% silk or is it silk sound? What is it?

I think it's silk sound. So is silk sound, does that have anything to do with 100% silk? Oh, this is Genesis. Is this Phil Collins? Genesis? This is Genesis you're going to play? I got to look this up now. Dave, tell You know Phil Collins

He was Paul on Small Wonder Oh hold on Oh shit I typed in Discogs wrong It took me some virus I always do that Tell a joke Dave Tell like a really funny story

About your childhood I played trombone did you really in like elementary school yeah were you like in the band yeah i get back to the thing i'm doing yeah i was bad at it i bet you were yeah music teacher hated me stop stop the story no one cares no one cares it's no no cares the discog says that the label is 100% Silk. Okay. With the catalog number Silk 110. Yeah.

That's on there. But this has Silk sound on the cover here. Yeah. It's 11.15 at night time. Well, we're going to be here all night. Mike's really trying to crack this code. There is a sub-label, but it's called House of Silk. This is a mystery. I'm just going to move on because i can't solve this mystery did that it's a label from los angeles operated

by amanda brown who also california yeah take the nine take the nine twelve i love in movies when and stop that because i'm gonna say. I want people to hear it. I love movies too. I love in movies when people call I-95 the 95. Oh, the 95. The 95. Yeah. I think that's like a West Coast thing.

It's a West Coast thing. Because they call it like the... That's what they do with the interstates over there. They call it the whatever. You know what they do over there is they take it slow and easy. It's a different lifestyle. Surf dudes with attitudes. Good vibrations.

Me and David just hung out with some surf guys. Stop bringing up the fact that you hang out together without me. Okay. And then you got another one. What was that? That was the boat. Oh, that's mine. Okay, so then we're going out on this.

Yeah, you're going out on this. Get ready for this, boys. Are you ready for this? Yeah. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. I don't know. Look at this thing.

What is this thing? Look at this thing. Is that a wax seal? It's a wax seal with a rose imprinted on it. Whoa. This looks kind of sexy. This- But like got sexy.

Where'd you get this, Victoria's Secret? Let me explain. Okay, but like, got sexy. Where'd you get this, Victoria's Secret? Let me, let me explain. Okay, I'm glad you agree with me because I really think this is the sexiest, the horniest tape I have. Look at this thing.

This like, it's an extra tall vinyl box. It's got this like, craft paper wrapped around. I don't know what you call it. That, that, that's glassier than a craft paper.

It's like a, almost like a texture wallpaper. Hold on, I don't want to give it to you. Yeah, almost like a texture, Craft paper wrapped around. That's glassier than craft paper. It's like a, almost like a textured wallpaper. Hold on, I don't want to give it to you. Yeah, almost like a textured, but black with like a gloss print. Yeah. Oh, that's good. It looks real good. And let me tell you, it's the horniest. The most romantic.

Did you open it yet? Yeah, I popped a white open. It's the, and it's. It's a lizard. It's not a lizard, and let me tell you why. It's so much like sex. It's so much like sex because it looks so romantic, but when you open it up and get into it,

it's so scary, and you just don't know what to do, and everything about it is scary, and all the bands have scary names, and everything is scary about it. What? Oh, you see? You almost did it again. This is called A Birthplace Is Not A Gravesite.

Is that even true? No. So it starts off with a lie, which is already scary. It's all black and white again. It's all... No colors? 156. Novosack.

Morgan Garrett. Gnarly Sheen. Leilemus. Arachnid. Boyle. Mark Shippey, Ith Zongs, Moultrigger, DJ PTSD. That's pretty funny. And one of the tapes I'm gonna play, Anastasia Vronsky.

What? Anastasia Vronsky. That's one of the tapes. There's six tapes in here each artist gets a side and brother their sides are pretty long there's a lot people tell me all the time I have long sides

you do have long sides you should probably get that they're too long well the problem is one side is way longer than the other well no one's perfect but this is really, really. Well, God made everybody perfect. Nobody's perfect.

Yeah, but you keep shitting on the side of the toilet. So you gotta get this taken care of. Your sides are too long. I got information on this. Who is Anastasia Vronsky? I thought that was the way you were supposed to do it. Anastasia Vronsky. This is on no part of it by the way that's the label

with the romantic packaging and there's a wolf's howling on the cover oh that's still kind of sexy she's from russia what i know collusion but here's the thing i never said there was a crime here's the thing though i never said there wasn't any collusion i never said there wasn't any i just said there wasn't any with donald trump oh okay so but this is collusion but collusion. I never said there wasn't any. I just said there wasn't any with Donald Trump. But this is collusion, but collusion, like you said, it didn't happen. If it did, it's not a crime. If it did happen, it was a long time ago.

Look at this. So long ago, why even think about that? So many Star Wars movies have come out in the meantime. It's in the past, and you can't change the past. You think you can change the past all of a sudden? You think you're a lib? You can change the past? You think... Use socialism to do it. This is pretty. Other people's money.

I call it OPM. OPM. This shit is really nice, right? That fucking box is nice. Very romantic. We should have saved it again Valentine's Day. What's the little booklet? There's the little book is there a little booklet there's a little booklet

in there and everything there's some artwork in here oh that's nice there's a skeleton drawing it's very scary it's too scary it's too scary gotta stop looking at it

I'm not scared but I don't I don't want to look at it anymore I'm just saying I just don't want to see it so this has probably been our most viral episode it's probably been

our most romantic episode and most's probably been our most romantic episode. Most sexy. Most sexy, but definitely the scariest. The scariest. It's absolutely... I am, like, shaking right now. Dave, you've been hanging outside the room all night. It's way too scary in there.

Holding a rolling pin. What are you going to do with a rolling pin if a ghoul comes at you? Just shake it. All right. Oh, thank... We should mention this, because I always forget to mention this shit

thanks to Tyler Agnew for a donation you bought us our pizza tonight hey thanks man that was very very nice of you technically I paid for that pizza I went right out that's what he said that's what he said.

That's what I said. That's obviously what the opposition is. Episode number 138. Remember when we had sponsors? Well, this asshole gave us money. Yeah, we used to have sponsors and

banner ads. Something happened with those. Dave sponsors and banner ads something happened with those Dave took the banner ads down because I was putting up all the personal ads Mike started doing beavers on the site it's literally inside baseball I was advertising for lemon parties

Dave took it down he said no more he said that's the end of it I said come on be a bad boy alright good show it was alright No more. He said that's the end of it. I said, come on, be a bad boy. All right, good show. All right, yeah, it was all right. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. so Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. I'm sorry. Thank you. Thank you. The End Thank you. I'm sorry. Thank you. The Thank you. The I'm going to go ahead and get my camera.