Tabs Out Cassette Podcast - Episode #206 | 3.7.25

Episode Date: March 7, 2025

1-900 Diarrhea, BxPxSx, Robert Turman, Anura’s Mire, Kowboje, Gender Is The Bastard, Skryer, Armenia, Être Ensemble, and Kouns & Weaver

Wait, is that the tape? Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!

Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!

Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!

Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! do you remember buying your first cassette tape i think so that's how because that podcast i think so i think so what was your first cassette tape my first cassette tape yeah my first i can tell you my first cd for sure my first cassette tape i can't tell you it was probably my older brother probably had something or i got one of those like 12 tapes for a penny i used to do 12 tapes for a penny they i was like i was like scarface when it came to 12 the the friggin uh columbia house sent their goons after me and i was just a table with tapes spread all the way out and i'm just like with my gun just genesis warren warrant i feel

like i'd warrant stick it to them or something like that i feel like i'd warrant stick it to them live you're starting to creep me out i feel like i had dangerous toys i feel like i had danger danger i feel like i had skid row pretty good ones that's the zone those were all the ones that were at like my friends like older brothers had on their wall and i wasn't allowed to buy those oh and i was the younger kid who hung out poison older brother yeah i was in your class and like at school like we kind of knew each other but afterwards i was with your friends older brothers don't do that to me they're rare now but at one point they dominated music right yeah they did philip sure they did philip i think um mine were the beach boys i had a bunch of beach boys compilations oh give us a reverb oh oh went out on the show i went out went out on my boat one day

i love the beach boys me too and then I also had Delaware Connection DJ Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince both of them together but DJ Jazzy Jeff listed first remember when they were together unstoppable not Delaware at that time

not yet you'd never asked me I said I knew what my first CD was and you kind of didn't ask me oh oh oh what was your first CD

what it was you want to take a guess well what year would it have been because I was the last person to get a CD player in my, in my, like in my group of friends. I think I went until 1994.

In your family. I thought you were going to say I was the first one in my family to get a CD player. I'm looking it up here when it came out. So I bought a CD player and in 1992, the singles original motion picture sound. Bit of a grunge head. Bit of a grunge head

which ties in also to what episode? Oh, by the way, Tabs Out Cassette Podcast episode number 206. Speaking of grunge head, do you know the area code 206? Do you know where that's for? Somewhere in Pennsylvania, right?

It's for... No, it's not. Oh, that's 216. That's Philadelphia. 215. Jamie, please. Seattle, Washington. Jamie, I said grunge like five times.

Oh, grunge. I said, when you tell Jamie grunge, he's like, oh, grunge. I remember that. Allentown. Yeah. Going to. Allentown. Yeah. Going to New Allentown. My first CD was Smash by The Offspring.

Okay, yeah. Noodles, the rest of them. Yeah. Yeah. Not very proud of that being my first, but my second CD was Broken by Nine Inch Nails. I'm a little bit more proud of that one. Yeah. Well, Jamie, you are pretty fly for a white guy.

So good for you. So Tab's out. Where's Joe, by the way? Oh, my God. I can't believe we didn't say it. Yeah. Joe, I was driving Joe down the street. And you know how he likes to stick his head out the window?

Yeah, sometimes. He loves to stick his head out the window. I say, Joe, stop sticking your tongue out the window. You're going to eat bugs. I don't care. Well, he was sticking his talking out the window. You're going to eat bugs. I don't care. Well, he was sticking his head out the window, and a car was coming the other way with a dog sticking their head out the window,

and they smushed into each other and switched heads. We just don't really know. They're both fine. Everybody's fine, but we don't know right now. Me and Jamie are in litigation with which one comes in for the podcast. That's true.

And Joe did say last episode, we're beginning a new season. So this is our new season right here. And, but it should have Joe, which in whatever version of Joe, that's the thing. It's like,

do we want a dog body with Joe's head? So Joe's cracking up and he's being funny and he's doing funny stuff with us. And we're like, Oh Joe, but he's pissing and shitting on the floor or do we want joe's bod up here and he's kind of lounged out but all you hear is really joe what do you think about i got this new tape on hansen rick hansen uh this new robert stop sniffing my ass yeah so we're trying to figure out

That's like that Pink Floyd song Jamie please You know how they do that with the delay on the dogs Alright so let's play some tapes What do you want to start off since joe's not here i have a really did i mention how he got his head hit with a dog yeah okay he doesn't like gross stuff he doesn't like food that's white you know so he's a little squeamish i have two tapes hold on let me defend him real quick he's not squeamish just because you don't like that kind

of shit doesn't mean you're squeamish okay He's one of the most fucking raw motherfuckers, ride or die. I won't get into it. Go ahead. What are you going to play? I'm not sure which one. I think I'm going to play the one with the flashier name first.

But both of these tapes, Mike, let's just back up one second. So Mike has been back into tapes. He's back into it, baby. I'm a tape guy again. He's sending me Bandcamp links every day. He sends me a new Bandcamp link. I'm a tape guy again.

And sometimes me, I click on it and I like it. And I get out my Apple Pay, get it out of my wallet, and I buy the tape. So both these tapes, these nasty, disgusting tapes that Mike found somehow, I both own the physical copy of, and one has been taken off of Bandcamp already. So there's no trace of this first tape. What do you mean? You mean it's not for sale anymore? No, the page

is gone. Like, I go to my collection and click on it and said, this has been removed from Bandcamp. So I feel like this is extra bad boy stuff, because now we're playing a tape that they don't even want up there. Oh my god, what is it? This is illegal stuff.

Yeah, this is a tape by... Jamie, you should probably whisper if it's going to be illegal. 1-900-DIARIA. And this is very apropos because I have a lot of diarrhea. Oh my god, it's all toilet sounds 1-900 diarrhea yeah i did send you this i did send you this link for this i believe a c how long is this

it must be like a c2 or it might be i think it's a c4 because i think it's single-sided and the the track is three minutes and 42 seconds it's the length of a normal diarrhea it's it's a seat like yeah it's very very short there's more tape in there than i'd imagine is there a lot of blank space on here there might be there might be but this is just you know your typical grind core demo recording a garage um it's all it's by empty cas Casket Audio in Templeton, California. That's surprising that they went with Empty Casket. A casket with a body in it would have been

grosser. An empty casket is nice. Hold on, hold on. Even though the band page is taken down, I remember something about this project because there's nothing about this project in Discogs. It said collaboration between somebody from this band and another band called Diarrhea Coffin. So now they are

filling the casket. Where did you record this? I'm sure their parents are proud of them. I'm sure. I hope so. Hey, Nancy, what's your son

been doing lately? Oh, he's in a band. He used to be in Diarrhea Coffin, but now he's doing 1-900-DIARRHEA. They just played a show with Pissface.

Yeah. At little Gary's house. And it was the one guy wore a diaper. I don't know why they're doing all that yelling, but, you know, they're having fun. Oh, well, good for them. This does look disgusting. What is going on inside here? Some bondage stuff and some underwear stuff? I think so, yeah. Jesus Christ. And I gave there's a there's a when i ordered in the mail um they

gave me a bunch of paper of stickers and flyers and stuff and then there was a handwritten note that said thanks for you know appreciate your order which i thought was nice that's yeah you did mention earlier off air that you think it's funny that someone who's putting out this kind of stuff is just a nice person nice person yeah um i'm seeing one of the they have a lot of like anti-music stuff they're throwing music notes away which music note jamie you're like a trained musician which note is he throwing away oh that's a that's an eighth note he's two eighth notes he's throwing away the eighth note music notes on the tape that are all crossed out. All I can say is, if you're going to be this blatant about how much,

this isn't music. It's not music. So if you think it's music, it's actually not music. Because I'm anti, I'm against music. Don't try so hard because it makes you suspect of sus. Yeah, as the kids are saying, it does make you sus Ohio to the Rizzy 100%-y. And it makes as the kids are saying it does make you sus ohio to the rizzy 100 percent and it makes me think that you made this thinking well i'll make it and if people think it's good

then yeah it's fucking music man i make gore grind fucking brilliant master well this isn't gore grind this is just regular grind oh this is right i'm gonna get to the gore grind in a second oh good yeah but if it sucks shit you can just say well it's supposed to it's not music i crossed out the quarter note i put an x on top of it yeah that's what that sounds like when you when it's the circle ah too scary too scary i love that i love how it's going. We even play the whole thing, I suppose? We're going to play the whole thing. Okay. So that's not, I mean, that's nasty.

1-900-DIAREE is kind of nasty because you picture you call that number up. Oh, God. And then it's like, hey, for all your diarrhea. Thank you for calling 1-900-DIAREE. For big, stinky logs, press 1. For a gross puddle that you slip in, press two. To speak with a representative,

stay on the line or press zero now. For accounts payable, press, stay on the line. Yeah, man, you call the 1-800-TERRY to talk to Julie if accounts payable.

And you have to pay money for the call you have to pay oh god okay what else do you have james you said you had one that was grosser this one's even grosser oh my god so this one is actual like gore grind as they call it splatter grind and i and i played um i played a clip of this for my wife I was just like listen to this and she actually she started dry heaving and said please stop this because it sounds like a guy like puking so it works

yeah it does work it works that's good yeah this is disgusting so I apologize if we have any people that are squeamish not Joe I know Joe's not squeamish. But any other squeamish listeners,

you might just want to hit the fast-forward button on your deck. Joe B is the strongest, bravest, sexiest man I know. And he's going to survive this thing with the dog and his head getting switched with the dog. It's going to be okay. I didn't say the artist's name. But Mike, you had pulled up a little bit of literature about this disgusting medical grindcore music did i um earlier before the show but the band

name for this is bioculus flaking and yo slale scrofusula oh yeah so it's very medically accurate accurate and the name of the song immunohistochemistry diagnosis for rhimbidoschirocoma and limboblastic and anal plastic large cell lymphoma lymphomas one and two to yourself you're not a doctor okay nasty stuff it sounds like you got a virus yeah and this is this is a Gore Grind label from France called Fistula. Disgusting. This all sounds so disgusting. Can you read any of the words on here? Oh, they wrote it all.

They got their dirtiest pen. Oh, Jamie, they said, it's time to write my logo. Give me the dirtiest pen you have. And they're like, one that's out of ink. Oh, it should have the most ink but it should have been in a toilet it should be in a toilet or somewhere gross when i write my logo that you can't read oh god this is disgusting the only way actually i'm kind of getting squeamish

about this yeah myself it looks like some kind of like the cover looks like some kind of pus blackened pus infected something or other but i don't know what it is wait you said all those words are those four different bands no that was the first band oh that was the second band is never mind ureteria hagia the third band is urinologist and the fourth band is urinary tract infection from severe pus clots okay yeah you get it you get the point i saw them once with red hot chili peppers, man. They were pretty good. Okay, this seems like it's going to be pretty hard to take. Oh, I wanted to do my bit. I almost forgot.

Oh, yeah. Can I do that bit? Yeah, go ahead. All right. So picture yourself. You're somewhere in Boston. Where's the real blue collar? Yeah, Sandwich Mass. Sandwich Mass.

You're in Sandwich Mass. I have no clue what that's. I think that's near Cape Cod. But yeah, we'll go with Sandwich Mass. You're in sandwich mass. I have no clue what that's. I think that's near Cape Cod, but yeah, we'll go with sandwich. You're in sandwich mass. You're walking down the street. You go to an antique shop. Your next door is a Gore grind shop,

a little mom and pop Gore grind shop. So you ring the bell. Your hair was in the toilet water. Ring the bell. Oh, I walk through the door. Ding, ding. Yeah, I already closed that sound effect. I'm sorry.

Oh, it's okay. I'll do it right now. Hold on, ready? It's not a ding, ding. It's like one of those bells that hangs over the door of the shop. Oh, it's okay. I'll do it right now. Hold on. Ready? It's not a ding ding. It's like one of those bells that hangs over the door in the shop. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. And it goes, bling bling.

Hey, what brings you in here today? We got some good cassette tapes with Goregrind. We got a tape over here from Vaginal Hernia. We got Septic Fart and Corroded Colon. Actually, Corroded Colon's a split. Corroded Colon and Colon Fudge. We got two colons And corroded colon Actually, corroded colon is a split Corroded colon and colon fudge

You got two colons on the same tape Oh, and this one Triple bypass fecal impaction Jamie All good stuff, you gotta try it So this is your Sandwich Massachusetts Gore Grind record shop? Yeah, yeah Jamie, fantastic

I got one more Urethra mucus over there on the on the left oh you have new that's written down some names written down good for you you're talking about these people's parents being proud of them yeah oh god i wish i i wish i videotaped that i could send to your parents yeah i wish i hope my mom hears that i'm sorry We're all sorry Mrs. Jamie's mom So I should play a tape now As well Right?

Yeah But now the pressure Joe's not here So we can do I feel like the pressure's Really on to play something Something nasty Something schnastiest

But Or maybe I'll do Like a palate cleanser I'll do two A palate cleanser A little orange sherbet Okay I'm gonna do

I'm gonna start off with this robert terman tape a day in the life on hansen ohio head who it says something on the band camp about how robert will just listen to a record skipping for hours on end because he's got that kind of experimental brain man it's always looking for input for hours on end. Because he's got that kind of experimental brain. Man. It's always looking for input. Robert Turman was the first artist to be played on Tabs Out. That's true.

Tabs Out, episode number one, the first tape we played was by Robert Turman. That's true. And now, all these years later... We did it. We did it, Joe. We're still at it. This is a tape of loops

of lo-fi. I'm assuming it's all off of records. This is new? This is brand new. Aaron Dilloway, Hanson Records, says that he'll walk

into his record shop where Robert Turman is working and he'll just be listening to something skip because he's got that kind of experimental brain. He does. And this is like just a bunch of lo-fi chunks of you can imagine what a record

skipping sounds like a little bit of reverb so it sounds like it's not reverb but that's good okay no that's that's that's not what i want that's not what this is going to sound like you're misrepresenting it okay anyway so that's what that's going to be like but it's going to be it's maybe i'll play two cuts did did aaron dillaway send this to you or did you pay for this with your hard-earned money from the print shop survey said i had to buy it and i did beta move there i know but here's the thing i really thought because another aaron dilloway tape came out with it tape called like raw hide or something like that and i was like oh he'll send that to me with this and then he didn't i just got the one and i kind

of knew when i saw the envelope only one tape was inside and I thought, what a beta cunt I had become in my old age. Well, I do remember the one time he sent you when you dropped all your Hanson tapes and got them all mixed up.

He sent you all new ones, right? Because you didn't know where any of them went to? No, that's not me. That's not you, okay. That sounds like a weird fucked up dream you had. You used to store your Hanson tapes

on the door here and one time the door closed too used to store your Hanson tapes on the door here. And one time the door closed too hard and all the Hanson tapes fell. And since they're all white unlabeled tapes, you didn't know where they went. Wow. That sounds familiar. And I could have sworn Aaron Dilloway said on Twitter or something like, Mike, I'll send you all new ones if you want. And maybe you just didn't take them up on it.

Because I thought that was a classy move by Aaron Dilloway. That might have been somebody else. We were just talking about your parents. Was it your mom? My mom, yeah. The other tape I'm going to play is by an artist called, and I can't, I want to get it right. It's called Anora's Mire.

The tape is called Sage of Merck on Woodland Crown Records. See, this sounds like something Joe B would be playing. If he was here, well, now that he's a dog. Hold on, hold on, hold on. Hello, guys guys he's here um this is he's dog this is frog this appears to be this artist it's like an i don't know enough about this comment it's like an offshoot of dungeon synth where it's frog bass maybe amphibian bass because do you know about frog metal no well it's where the vocals are like okay sometimes they call that like when they're

like sucking i don't know how you make that sound it's kind of maybe you'll hear that on my uh bioculus whatever tape but um yeah i was wondering if they would ever because they combined dungeon synths with black metal and i was wondering if they would ever, because they combined Dungeon Sense with Black Metal, and I was wondering if they would have combined it with Frogcore. That would be cool. This is more like swampy, mystical, you're on a lily pad type thing. Okay. It could be more froggy. Could it be more froggy?

If you're asking me, it could be more froggy. A little constructive criticism. Mike's constructive criticism corner. It could be a little bit more froggy. Yeah. That's okay. But it's definitely like the swamp. Yeah.

You're there. And there's a frog on the front, but he's not like the budweiser frogs he's got like a staff and he's wearing clothes he's got a satchel he's going on a mission a candle is lit wake me up so i'm gonna play something off that that's so after jamie puts us in the toilet water and gets us all gross I just got to get it out of my just like diarrhea. You got to get it out of your system So like I have these tapes into my shelf. I was like I bought them I kind of bought them for the show will play them and then I'll play nice stuff after it I really wish this wasn't happening to me

I really wish it wasn't that I have to listen to like what was it called toilet scab? Urination, I don't listen to, like, what was it called? Toilet scab of urination? I don't want to listen to toilet scab. All this time, I can't believe I couldn't see. So we'll do Jamie's grossness, and then I'll settle everybody down. Yeah. Tuck you in. And get you ready for the next block. A little kiss.

A little kiss on the cheek for a night. Maybe a little smooch. Yeah. I'm sorry. so so Thank you. so so I'm going to show you how to do it. so so I'm sorry. so 45 The End oh I'm sorry. I'm going to get you. The I'm sorry. The The The The The

The The The The The The The The The I'm going to go to the next one. The The End Ah! Ah! Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. © transcript Emily Beynon Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. so

so Jamie, you gotta say the names of those. I'm not doing it. That's fucking... I got 1-900-DIAREEA. Mother of God, it's all toilet sound. Bioculus. Phyconectomyocele. Scrofulosa.

You don't have to do this. Or you could call it just B-. Or BXPXSX. Oh, then that sounds like it has the word sex in it. With all this necrophilia stuff. You know what? Good for you. Get this out of your system this way. Instead of going rooting through the friggin'

dumpster outside the hospital looking for parts. Yeah, yeah. And then on Mike's uplifting block yeah then i fix things robert turman and like frog nymph or something like that i forget what it's called no we got away from all that kind of shit it was robert turman and anora's mire oh nor is a frog nymph the word mire sounded like nymph to me i don't know why yeah that's because you've been listening to the friggin Like anal pustule Corpse No it's out of my system now

Okay I'm cleansed I'm glad Then we can move on To the next thing Yeah So you start the next block then Oh I'm so unprepared

I know I like to catch you by surprise So this is another tape That I bought from Mike Not from Mike You've been buying tapes from me? Jay I've been forcing Jamie Just so everyone knows

when they send tapes to the podcast i sell them to jamie i say hey kid i got some new stuff if you want to keep doing this podcast you're going to need tapes buy them from me so this is an artist called cowboji it's k-o-w-b-o-j-e and this tape is on syph records s-Y-F Koboji number 2 SIF Records number 125 It's a label from Poland I had to sign for this tape You had to sign a contract Yeah, the mailman came to my door and made me sign a contract

It was actually a non-disclosure So actually I can't play this tape Sorry That was a long way to get to that Why did you bring it then? No, I think Delaware Dan can get me out out of this okay the bind that i'm in good because this is a really this is funky mike you sent me a funky funky ass tape i was playing this on my phone when my two-year-old was in the bath and she was boogieing oh hell yeah you bought this yeah nice cow bogey and it's got the most

awesome artwork by the way it's a bunch of like weird, like it's almost like skulls that look like jellyfish with snakes coming out of the eyes and then cowboy hats on them. I'm trying to think of what cartoon I've seen where it has this kind of style, uh, very rudimentary skulls with like hats on the front and then just the same skull cascaded on the inside.

Yeah. You're right. You were right, Jamie. This is good artwork. It's good art. Excellent use of the color red. Yeah. That's me at the museum

when I'm looking at a painting at the museum and someone says, what do you think about it? And I say, excellent use of the color red. Actually, it's a little bit more rust. I say it every time and every time it gets me out of a good jam. Yeah, yeah.

So from straight out of Poland and I know Joe B he's got a friend from Poland. He's not here today. He did growing up. Yeah, growing up. So you think maybe he's involved with this somehow?

Yeah, maybe. Is he the one who made you sign for it? I don't know. I can't put the pieces together. Okay, so you're going to play that. Yeah. And then maybe you're going to play that.

Yeah. And then maybe you do two. Or more. Or less. Do however many tapes you want. It's your podcast. You know what? That's a good point. I can do whatever I want to do. Well, how about... You know what? You played...

Your tapes were kind of scary, right? Not scary, but- In the first block. Now I got funky. They were- But I got scary cover on the funky tape. Well, I have a tape when you're going to listen to it, it's also got scary sounds. Scary, okay.

No, not like that. Gender is the Bastard is the name of the artist, which is a clever play. You might, some listeners might notice it yeah i'll give jamie a minute jamie go ahead and try to figure it out this is like oh man man is the best jamie i get it oh wow i guess it could be that too i was thinking something else okay um a queer and present danger on eggy tapes wow another pun another wait is eggy tapes a pun no clear i'm queer um i forget where this label and project is from i want to say they're from the uk jamie i got a new setup here so you might have to do a lot of my fact checking the uk if you say uk it's it sounds like yuck like

i suppose so yeah i mean i suppose you make a good point there jamie it does sound like that so we're still doing gross stuff uh no this isn't gross this is just uh you might listen to it and you might go like oh it's got jump scares it's no well no i shouldn't have said that either um this is uh on a serious note it is you can read on the Bandcamp page that the queer community in Britain faces anything but peace in 2025. The uncomfortable fact is in the focal point for... This uncomfortable fact is the focal point for Gender is the Bastard's latest full-length,

which is this. So, it's not... I guess it could be scary for some people, Jamie. It could be scary for some closed-minded people. I didn't expect it to be this soft and... But, um... Jamie, it could be scary for some closed-minded people. I didn't expect it to be this soft. But it's scary in the way that it is a harsh tape. Okay.

I believe, is this the tape I was mad about because it said it would repeat on the B-side and then it didn't? You wanted it to. Well, I don't like when it does. I hate when it repeats. Because then I feel like my OCD makes me feel like I have to listen to it. Well, I don't want to have the I hate when it repeats Because then I feel like My OCD Makes me feel like I have to listen to it Well I don't want to have

The whole side be blank On the other side Yeah But then my OCD Also wonders I wonder if they put Something right in the middle And I'm missing

I'm missing a treasure I'm missing a little pearl That you pull out of an oyster A hidden track Yeah Oh my god I gotta go back And listen to all these tapes

That I thought were blank now You just gave me A ton of work it's got this OBI strip that I can't get back on is that how you say it? OBI strip? no you say OB

it's like a Japanese sash it's called an OB oh wow I'm learning something today our friend Peter Feng from around the corner taught me that really? and this has a little japanese sash on it i can't get it i'm so afraid i'm gonna rip it yeah so i'm just gonna leave it like that but yeah i'm gonna play something off of this tape don't throw it away

i fucking ripped it oh all right now i gotta throw it away i always hate it when i order a zodiac cd and then it doesn't have the ob strip anymore you got it oh my god all right you want to you want to go back you want to i think we should do it i think we should do a um what's that called when two people go into business a joint venture you want to do a joint venture yes because we both have the same tape oh wow look at the brains on you james yeah we do so i'm trying to make this very egalitarian right like so this nobody feels left out This could be the first time we play a tape where we're both just holding a copy. We should put one on both sides

and hit play together and see what happens. Well, that's the thing with my tape deck. It will only play one at a time. Oh, one at a time. So we could do it and see who wins. See who wins. Yeah, so we'll do that. This is a tape by an artist

that we've never played on the show, but is a fan of the show. Thank you. That comes to Final Friday shows. And you know what? I just want to say the show, but is a fan of the show. That comes to Final Friday shows. And you know what I just want to say right now? You're welcome. No big deal. And the first time this person... I do it because I love it. Yeah. Her name is Penny. First time she came out to a show,

she was walking around, and she said, You're Mike. You're Dave. You're Joe. You're Ian. All this to you. No, no. But I was overhearing this because she recognized the voices of you guys from the podcast hold on hold on uh yes so penny at final friday the other night penny uh did a set as this project called and i'm blanking on the name you have the scrier oh scrier right on the spine we both have a copy scrier and i said i said you

know penny this is a little reminiscent of Beyond the Ruins because Penny is a big Beyond the Ruins fan. So I think the aesthetic is a little bit inspired. Not totally. It's not a rip-off. I get what you're saying there. But it's like the green Xerox paper. And then on the spine, it's kind of like

it could pass for Beyond the Ruins, but I'm going to... I don't think it could. I'm not going but i'm gonna i'm not i'm not gonna keep pulling that thread now how come you got two copies and had to give me one and i didn't get a copy at all because you had left and then she said she said i've always wanted to give a copy of my tapes to mike haley and she said your first and last name interesting it's interesting that someone would always want to give me a tape never has and also when i say hi to them often doesn't say hi back yeah but that's fine yeah so you finally gave me a tape your wish came true your big

fucking dream finally came true so let's open her up and take a look the paper you cut it awfully this is a bad cut hold on bad cut oh wrong one oh i have a sound for that too no i don't no they they really didn't they? Yeah. I see what you're saying about Beyond the Ruins. Cut and paste. Yeah, a little bit. A lot of cut and paste on a colored paper.

Seriously, though, the cutting is... Look what's going on back there. You don't have any other tapes to use as a template? Right. Have you listened to this yet? I have not, but based on the set you know you said the the one that you're playing before this is harsh and this one is probably also going to be harsh um when penny played the other night she had her bass guitar and by the way she can slap

on on the electric bass flee huh but bass was on the floor but last night it was it was a not was it last night no two nights ago just a pedal board and bass guitar night it was it was a not was it last night no two nights ago just a pedal board and bass guitar and it was it was pretty you know it's kind of that it was awesome great great set to all these people who put their guitars and bass like flat down on the floor they sell straps they do they will sell you a strap you don't have to do that anymore yeah but then when you lean over when because the pedal boards on the floor and you got to play it with your hands the pedal board is for your floor and you've got to play it with your hands. The pedal board is for your feet, technically, though.

Pedal board is for your feet. When you see Eric Clapton playing his guitar, he's hitting it with his feet, not his hands. Give me some reverb. Yeah. Give me some reverb. Would you know my name? All right, so we're gonna i so is it gone is it gone jamie yeah yeah yeah so we're gonna start off with the one that's not scary am i free to go the wait goboge is that how you say it

yeah cowboge cowboge we're gonna start off with that funky ass tape that's a funky ass tape but it's gonna be a reverse of what just happened in the last block yeah then mike's gonna cow bogey cow bogey we're gonna start off with that funky ass tape that's a funky ass tape but it's gonna be a reverse of what just happened in the last block yeah then mike's gonna put some shit on your on your shirt on your sleeve i'm gonna put some shit on your sleeve he said i don't know i'm trying to coin a new term here no i got shit on my for you no more gore grind for you i don't like what it does for you especially not okay okay it turns me into a worse person yeah you were probably myself up all night thinking about toilets and scabs and and band-aids and stuff and i don't want you doing that do you think they make a genre of music that's a grind like it's an offshoot of gore grind that's more focused on

like shows like pimple popper md and My Feet Are Killing Me. All those shows where something's kind of... They have to cut open the foot and it looks bad, but it's not disgusting. It's just like outpatient surgery? Yes. Outpatient grind.

Tonsil. Tonsil removal. Outpatient grind. That's what you can listen to for knowledge, JB. That's as far as I'm letting you go. Okay. And then, okay, so we'll start off with that. Yeah, because that's. Here he goes.

That's not bad boy stuff. No, you have to do that. That's part of life. That's care. That's self. That's part of life. Yeah, you have to do that. I had hernia surgery in 2003.

Did you really? Yeah. Why didn't you tell me? Because it's a little bit, it has to do with my balls. What does? The hernia. It didn't have to, but you made it about it. No, it had to.

Why am I talking about this on air? Stop making this about your balls. I'm telling you, it's because of all this gore grind you're listening to. We'll cut this part out. Thank you. Jessie! Jessie! I am going to Japan! No! No!

We are the Harry's Harry's Harry's Jessie! We are the Harry's Harry's Harry's Don't be horny, every steady, every steady, Jimmy Jones Mmm Don't be horny, every steady, every steady, Jimmy Jones Don't be so nervous, get this shit cool

Let me know if you're, let me know if you're Super, don't be so nervous, Super, don't be so nervous, You're gonna get a lot of people Super Dog Super Dog Super Dog Super Dog Super Dog Super Dog Super Dog Super Dog

Super Dog Super Dog Super Dog Super Dog Super Dog Super Dog Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, Oh Thank you. Oh, no. Thank you. I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man Thank you. I'm ready for more I need to be Dumb I'm ready for more

I need to be fun I'm ready to fight people I'm ready to be my own There's something I don't know I'm ready for my distribution I'm ready for my distribution I'm ready for my distribution

I'm ready for my distribution I'm ready for my distribution I'm ready to get down on the edge of the sand! I'm ready to go! See what's up in this sand-like place? I'm ready! I'm ready to face a way to get out of this. How many more need to be spanked? Till something changes

How many need to be beaten? Till something changes How many of my people need to be ordered to something changes. And we all need to be stuck until something changes. I'm going to be stuck until something changes. How many more of these will be friends of me? Till something changes How many more of my people Need to be covered in dysfunctional sages? As I dance

I'll be more humble You tell me Tell me I'll take what I want and what it means And no one else has been And I'll beat myself to the ground I'll cut myself to shreds Just to stop my people I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. The world will be filled with light. The world will change.

The world will be filled with light. The world will be filled with light. The world will change! © BF-WATCH TV 2021 I'm sorry. so so so so Thank you. I'm sorry. © BF-WATCH TV 2021 so so so All right, who was that? That was... Oh! Oh! I think that went just as we described.

Not just as I described it would. That was, what, Koboje with the tape number two or something like that yeah something uh joe b's friend from poland why it's not joe b's friend why can't i hear my sound clips by the way oh they're still muted why am i being censored excuse me what did i do thank you old schooler right here on On Syph. And then was, then the gender is the bastard. A queer and present rage. Did I say queer and present danger last time?

That's the deal. I think I did. I think you said, yeah, that's better though. That would be good. That's better. That's Mike's feedback. Whatever.

Just one little bit of advice. It's good, but. It's good, but good. A little zh of advice it's good but it's good but good a little bit you know um maybe make the obe strips a little bit thicker yeah a little bit more robust and then scryer from new from cherry town new jersey where are they from new right around that area i think west berlin or that might have been the other guy whatever but um you know what penny mike said after off air that was really good. I know he would never admit that on air. I didn't say anything.

He said that was really good. Jamie, please. I didn't say that. I would never give anyone. Due to my inability to give anyone compliments, that would never happen. No, that was a really good tape. I enjoyed that.

I'm not seeing the Beyond the Ruins thing. I see you're trying to get there, but you're not there yet. I'm trying it. It's so close. It's so close, man. Yes, I am. Look at this. Okay, we got a final block.

We got our last tapes. Jamie, do you have any announcements, any news about cassette tapes? Have there been any advancements in the industry? I don't have anything. All right, then what's for our last plug? I'm glad we at least gave it a shot. We gave it the old college try. We did.

For a podcast that focuses on cassettes, that's our update on cassettes. It opens the vault to look at the rise and fall of cassettes. That's the people from the beginning. So in the first, am I going first again? Yeah, go first again yeah go first again um in the first block i did a four-way split i have another four-way split but this one's not yucky this one's just uh noisy yeah you were talking about you had a four-way that

was yucky last weekend right okay go ahead um it's not yucky darn it um i'm trying to i'm trying to scramble to look it up on this what are you doing this is um our friend you know our friend sean stelfox you know you know him boss battle yeah he when he came to town he he visited delaware for about a month and a half recently yes and he dropped off a few tapes. He dropped off this To Die selected discography, which did make it to the top 200 tapes on Tabs Out. Oh, this past year? Yeah, To Die, another grindcore band. And then there's this other tape that didn't make the cut.

This four-way split. This new generation of music. By Armenia, Indra Menus, T. Mikawa, and Theo Nograha. Nograha. Theo Nograha. Okay. Four-way split noise. That's what it's called.

Four-way split noise. Yeah. So this looks pretty. It is pretty. It's not as dark and bleak as some of the other stuff on Noise Bombing. This has got some nice, rich blue colors. Yeah. This is reminding me actually

never mind i was gonna say tranquility tapes if anyone remembers that actually no i'm i'm going back oh oh tranquility who does the yeah you if you would if you would zoom in on a tranquility tapes cover to something really close yeah and then like repeat it or something yeah you would get that this has like a blue purple green green gradient with like two little amoebas. Yeah. I can't help to wonder though, if Joe B was here, has he encountered yet a tape case with no nubs,

a nubless? A nubless. I think we have encountered the nubless and I did notice, because if you look closely, I saw that in the glare, there are circles where the nubs should be and we have talked about that before.

It just goes to show that a Noroco case only acts like this when something's wrong. It's supposed to have them. But, I mean, it's from Indonesia, so I'm not sure if they're doing what the regulations are over there. Lokanata or whatever that pressing plant is. I'm also noticing about this tape that the spools on the inside are black when they're normally they're typically white typically white yeah so that's

something interesting to note they look excellent with or they might have taken a sharpie marker and just colored each one there's no fucking way no there's no fucking way i would have spotted that right away oh my god i've been doing this they would podcast It would have come right off on your fingertips I've been doing this podcast for years So what are you planning on for that? Well to make things easy I mean Let's put it this way I wanted to play Theo Nograha

I can't say that name Theo Nograha I wanted to play his track Because he hit me up on Discogs lately In a DM and asked me if i could add one of his tapes because i guess i added another one of his tapes at one point and so he's like jamie knows how to add tapes can you add this one too jamie so i did graciously do that for him so does he know you from this podcast or does he know you from i don't know i think from discogs but i did write back and

say hey i'm friends with sean stelfox by Just, you know, we have a friend in common. You're meeting people on Discox? He met me, by the way. He reached out to me, not the other way around. But still. So I kind of wanted to play his track, but it's the last one on the B side. It's kind of just too tricky to get to.

That's so complicated. I'm exhausted just thinking about it. I think we're going to play this track by Armenia. And Armenia is an artist from which country? So this is Indonesia. We have an artist from which country so this is indonesia we have an artist named armenia what country is armenia from take a wild guess oh you're asking me yeah take a wild guess oh uh canada ecuador oh it's so close well it's part of the americas on the gulf of america yeah fun topical

okay so you're just gonna play the first track then? Yeah. Yeah. That's the easiest way to go about this. That's the easiest way. I like to go about my life the easy way. It's been a long day. We can't be... Yeah, my parents are at my house right now.

I got to get back there. I know. I'm not getting out my tools, trying to get to the middle of this tape. All right. That'll be fun. Oh, by the way. Oh, we forgot to talk about this. The Scryer tape, when we put both tapes in at the same time and hit play, whose tape

won? Oh, I will say we forgot to do it and I won. Yeah, that's right. That's it. this the scryer tape when we put both tapes in at the same time and hit play who's tape one oh i will say we forgot to do it and i won yeah that's right that's it congratulations to me that's radio that's radio what's going to be like all right my turn yeah how many more tapes do you have i got zero you got zero so you're not gonna play that one i'm gonna play the other one on a special episode. Ooh. Yeah. Okay, I'll end. I'll do these two. Ooh. Ooh. I thought you were going to go for a while. The first one I'm going to play,

and I may not get the pronunciation of this correct. Etre Ensemble? E-T-R-E? But there's like a... That's probably French. There's something over... It is French. There's something over the E.

Etre Ensemble? Oh, Etre. I like that. Let's just go... I think Trois is like O-I-S. Like Ménage à Trois. Jamie, again. Oh my god. So there are foursomes and Ménage à Trois.

Stop dropping all these hints. Stop using this podcast and Discogs as a way for you to get strange, Jamie. Katuk 2 Collective. Oh yeah. You remember this label? Yeah, we've played stuff from this label before

um uh this tape is the second tape by the project on the label wow i think they're from california but the artist is from montreal perhaps oh that that explains the french um i'm constantly saying that whenever Montreal comes up I go that explains the French they are a multi-genre explorer and a self-described they self-describe what they make as Cinematech or

Cameratronica okay I'm glad they're at least self-describing that nobody else no one else has done that nobody else is saying oh this is camera tron camera tronic or cinema tech i guess like like you remember those movies when like the train would come at the screen or like a house would fall but the guy would be standing there and he the window would go over him the window went over his head yeah um and And then they would show a piece of paper that said, like, ee gosh, oh foot, I've almost lost it this time.

Yeah, yeah. The music during that, I think, is what this must be. Yeah, yeah. I know exactly the music. It's not circus music. It's, yeah. This is, yeah, you're doing more of a... It's like Charlie Chaplin piano music.

Yeah, this is, I assume, a updated modern lo-fi version of that. This is, I should end with this one but i want to end with the other one um do i call an audible hmm i think you get one audible per episode i do why it's my podcast no i'll play that i'll play something from that and then i want to end with um oh i should mention i don't know really who this person is that does this project i know that they are kind of associated with the constellation records they put out some lps on big label yeah big time um godspeed you black emperor so i'm assuming this is like someone who's

an intern for that label yeah and is like can you put out my record too? It's cinematronic. Or whatever. No, it's really good. It's fun stuff. The last tape I wanted to play. This is, Jamie, this is so far. It is March. We're in the month of March. Oh, the Ides were just yesterday. We're flying by this year.

And it came in like a lion, let me tell you. I'm not sure if anybody on the East Coast. Yesterday started off as 59 degrees. I was outside, no jacket. I went to Longwood Gardens, and the temperature dropped. I love it. You like that? Was that a good story?

I fucking love your weather report. I fucking love when we're talking about the cassette tapes. But Jamie just took a little bit of time to tell people what the weather was like and where he was the other day. I was in Kennett Square, Pennsylvania. I love it. I love it. And I was with my dad and he said, you know what this means? He said, there's a cold front coming.

There's a cold front coming. And sure enough, it was 26 degrees this morning on my drive over here. And all Jamie could think about was urine pustules. All this gourd. Yeah. The last tape I'm going to play is coons and weaver oh the 1980s country songbook on hns ranch now coons and weaver have put out some the baseball tape do you remember the baseball tape yeah the cincinnati reds i think well that was excellent yeah this one too is probably my favorite tape of the year so far.

It's goofy and it's good. I have one. Here's one reason why it will not be the number one tape of the year. Okay. On our top 200, our famed. So everybody take notes. Here's what not to do. It is disqualified to be number one because this is ai artwork on the cover

there's a cowboy i listen i like the artwork it's a cowboy how do you know it's ai okay i'll hand it to you and you tell me if you think this is not they got six fingers there's too many toilets in the bathroom look how many toilets are in the bathroom that might be the guy that okay let's see and then look on the inside. It's a cowboy. He's on a toilet. There's a bunch of toilets in the room. I'm trying... There's flyers on the wall in this bathroom. I'm trying to read the text,

because AI, for some reason, they can't get the text. That's AI. Come on. Yeah, it is. I think it is. It's absolutely AI. But you know what?

It's like the same guy on the front and the back, and AI has a hard time giving you the same guy. You ever notice that? I mean... This is just like a white guy with a beard and a cowboy hat but i feel like also like i feel like that was amusing for like a week maybe like six months ago and like i haven't tried it lately and they might have gotten better well i mean i enjoy making it for fun stupid stuff to send in text messages yeah yeah i don't want my cassette covers to have it yeah i want you to hire a cowboy or put it in a collage or something you know i don't want you cassette covers to have it. Yeah. I want you to hire a cowboy. Or put it in a collage or something.

I don't want you to dress up like a cowboy. I want you to dress up like a cowboy. I want you to go to Home Depot. I want you to rent five toilets. Yeah, that's right. Or just, you know what? Here's the thing, though. You can't use the toilets at Home Depot

because they put them up real high now. Okay. Have you noticed that? Yeah, so you have to deter any of those YouTube pranksters. So you can't shit in them, whatever. But the tape itself, this would be tape of the year, hands down, for me. Except this goddamn, you got Mr. Machine to make, you can't have Mr. Machine make your artwork.

Mother of God! You have to have humans do it. Mr. Machine cannot be making artwork for you. Oh, that fart is so stinky. But this is like a fucked up country weirdo gloop soundtrack. I love experimental country music. Can I just say that? There's one part on here that's, it's almost got like

I don't want to say it's Longmont Potion, Castle inspired. Maybe I'm just, I'm putting my putting myself too much into Is it kind of like Beyond the Ruins with Skryre? This is kind of like Longmont Potion? Nah, not even.

That fart's kind of smelly to me. But you'll listen to it and you'll hear it and you'll know. Okay. I was trying to get some information on it. I didn't get any. Do you have any music still available at time of broadcast? You know what? With Joe being out here, I'm so off my game today. You're doing a lot of work.

I'm doing a lot of work. Yeah, sometimes Joe just talks and then I'm Googling and then afterwards I say something that has already been said and Joe said, you never listen. Yeah, I felt really odd, sort of out of sorts in the third block on this episode when I had to really pay attention.

Because right now I'm sort of just like, got my shades on and I'm leaning back. Can we talk about that, by the way? Mike totally changed the feng shui of the studio. I'm not sure if you can hear it in the acoustics, but... They have to be able to hear it. There's a couch in here now. You have to be able to hear...

I'm sitting on a... He's got a cigar. He's chomping on a cigar on the couch. I'm on my Rancho Oak couch, lounged out. I look so cute. Is this Italian marble or French marble? This is Canadian marble. Okay.

That's all right. You can hardly tell the difference. They go over it with the Zambonis. That's how they do it? That's how they do it. That's how they get the sheen, brother. Nice. It is what it is.

The 1980s country songbook. If it's not AI artwork, you just get in touch with me. I've had my ass spanked before. It's fine. But I'm pretty sure this is AI. And everybody can go to coonsandweaver.bandcamp.com and they can judge for themselves. 14 remaining.

Edition of 100. I want these gone. I want these gone by 14 remaining. Addition of 100. I want these gone. I want these gone by next episode. I want them on my desk. All right, Jamie, you feel fulfilled? Did we finish the episode? I think we finished it. Did you have any kind of southern bakery

that sells Gore Grind cakes that you want to do the shop owner of? Hey, y'all. Thanks for coming in, y'all. I got this piss cover cake over here. Yeah, I got shit muffins over on the side. We're done. Bye.

All right, bye. so so so so so so so so so so so so I'm going to go ahead and get back to the car. so I'm moving on! Thank you. I'm going to go ahead and start the video. I'm sorry. This image of you, inside of me, like a part of me. me me so um Thank you. © BF-WATCH TV 2021 Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, I'm sorry. Kentucky Had a little too much to drink Naughty pine Kentucky State Route 10 He was killed instantly In his car colliding with a Starbuck

And soon became a trail of memory I am and I remain Desireless But there's always been a small part of me That wants to want A woman In her late forts smoking a Dura Stands up Over a vertical blind Well, baby's got her blue jeans on.

Plays on what you got at play. On the Sears radio with a busted speaker cone. I would like to be a quiet, faithful wife to a wealthy and attentive husband who's always away on business. But here I am, a man, and not even a very good looking one. Voila, as the French say. In May of 2013, Rick Weaver and I got lost in Atlanta for hours in the middle of the night. Rick Weaver and I got lost in Atlanta for hours in the middle of the night

We eventually found our way back to Robbie Key's house Went to sleep and I woke up hours before anyone else The doors were locked I thought about throwing a chair through the window to escape, but he had iron bars on the outside to prevent even that. He is the warden after all. I do not have a

two-pack hat or a motel tan, and in fact, I do not smoke, and I have a very low-round-the-tan, ask anyone. But I do know a little something about Guitar Town. For example, this guitar played in my sparse bedroom on a Saturday evening in the town of Columbus, Ohio.

Walking Tiger Creek in rural northeastern Kentucky, I thought I'd stumbled upon a large riffle of boulders. As I approached, I realized it was a rotting, gray-bodied leviathan face down on the stream bed. This is a song about hard drugs. Oh. More precisely, this is a song about severe crippling drug addiction oh just

having a little fun with you folks this is actually a song about two desperadoes living on the road my friend was gonna make you free and clean. I do not have a wife. I do not have children. I do not have a mother or father. I have not been born yet. I am standing with both feet planted in the other world, holding two handfuls of blue feathers with careful splashes

of gray climbing up the stem and a fluted white tip. Stock footage of people in Russia getting shock treatment. Quick cut to a sex scene featuring a woman pissing on a man's hairy chest. A close-up of the port worrying his famed birthmark on Mikhail Gorbachev's head. An AI bloodletting bot. An empty baseball stadium with only two fans who are seated next to the crouched honchos on the team of the men of Scott. A man sitting on the front porch, drinking two caffeinated sodas in one sitting. And there ain't no doubt I love this land. God bless the USA.