Tales from the Stinky Dragon - Armageddon - Ep. 56 - Magic Box Down

Episode Date: July 6, 2022

Returning from Kyborg’s Memory, the Infinights find more than a few surprises prepared for them at HQ. But now that they can conquer the skies, is it time to set off on a new adventure? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Learn more at LandRover.ca. This is a Rooster Teeth production. Are we ready to go? Yeah. Come on in. Felicitations to all you fractains. Fly your folding selves into the Stinky Dragon. Take a swig of our latest liquor, Funhouse of Mirrors.

It's a mixture of Kinky Mama Campari, 30 morbid minute leaves, schnapps hits the fan mixed with must-be dice ice cubes. One glass of this two-dimensional dram will have you laughing and scrying in no time. I'm going to need every podcast made by Funhaus to give a plug to Stinky Dragon now. Previously, our adventurers rummaged around in the recesses of Qyborg's memories as kids. While searching for clues as to Quadrant's whereabouts, the infant knights connected with Qydelius' family, but soon encountered an entire squadron of exploding squadrons detonated by Quadron himself.

Finally, they witnessed Kyborg's defining dismemberment and fate of his late family, but perhaps they picked up a forgotten clue along the way. Raise a glass and let's pass this dragon gap! 🎵 What clue do we forget? 🎵 Flurries of ash and snow swirl around you as your vision blurs. Quadrant holds up Cydelius' severed limb. Looks like you won't be needing this anymore.

But don't worry. I'll hold onto it for you. Quadrant stands up and tosses the map onto a pile of smoldering ash. Its corners begin to burn up but not before three words flash across your eyes. Flats of Tabul. And the last thing you see before you black out is Quadrin marching off with your right arm. Go ahead, Cydelius, roll a perception check. You got it. So not used to you calling him Cydelius. It's situational, right? Yeah. Yeah, is he Kyborg or Cydelius? B Quadrin with my own dismembered arm. 15. Is that your dismemberment plan?

Yes. Your head, you know, feels pretty spinny. It got like a dull lingering pain, but you might just shake off the cobwebs and start to gather your bearings. The first thing you feel is the bitter chill of snow all around you. You're sitting on the frosty ground surrounded by moonlit trees tinted with red. Is this Everwinter Woods? Is it?

What about us? What about us? What about us? Were you asking us that or were you just... It's kind of a rhetorical question. Like a note to self. After I was... My family was killed, I went to the Everwinter Woods

where I began my incredible training montage that lasted years and I got super fit. Level one. Yeah. Well, no. I was a strong level one person. He was level one for quite a while. I love it.

Let's just like, come on, guys. I love that now that we've experienced that memory together, like I think all of us could now be like, Quadrant. Because now we also feel your anger in that moment. So now all of us can relate. You saw how kicked butt my parents were. I also, I just saw Lightyear over the weekend. And so now I'm picturing Quadrant as Emperor Zurg. Oh, Zurg's in that movie?

Yeah. Yeah. It's in the trailer, I think. It's in the trailer. Sorry if I spoiled it. It's a Lightyear origin movie. It's going to have the origin of... They brought back Zurg?

Yeah. So where are we? What are we doing? Are we babies? We're cold. We're in the Everwinter Woods. No, I'm saying us, not Kyborg. Kydelius.

Not Kydelius. Where are we? Mud're cold we're in the everwinter no i'm saying us not kyborg kydelius not kydelius where are we mud moves around mud moves around you are not present at the moment but could we are we able to see what's happening like do we see kydelius oh is this a kydelius one shot it's a one-man show well get to showing like you're viewing this from above almost like a third person perspective i. I throw rocks from above. That's how I do it. I continue to trek through the snow, and I look around, and I try to perceive my surroundings. Roll a 15. That's got to be something.

Oh, yeah. I read you the thing. I'm in the woods. All right. Well. Check on your arm. Do you have an arm? No, he doesn't.

So what's your wound? I look around for shelter. You see like a really large tree that's kind of hollowed out near the base of the trunk where it meets the ground. And you're currently sheltered in there. Guess I'm a Keebler elf now, guys. The smell of cookies wafts. The smell of gross, overly sweet cookies wafts through the forest. Keebler elf cookies are fine.

He's on point. When you look around at your shelter, you realize you're slightly older than you were in your previous flashback. You appear to be a teenager now. Oh, I hate this tree. I look at my arm. Is it still missing? Yeah, you are currently missing an arm. Okay, so I haven't found my new arm yet. Not everything grows when you're in her puberty.

As you're looking at and touching your missing arm, you hear the crunching of snow off just beyond the tree line in the distance. Okay. I stealthfully, stealthfully, stealth, stealth. I stealth. He can't figure out what form of that word. I want to see what is the adverb version of stealth. Stealthily.

Stealthily. Stealthily? Don't throw an F in there. Why are you throwing an F in there? Stealth. Stealthily. Just say with stealth. With stealth I observe who is approaching. Roll a stealth check. Sorry. Roll a stealth check.

Sorry, roll a stealth check. 13. I'm still getting my bearings with my arm. And English. I love that moment in, what's that movie called? With Will Smith. There's a lot. Independence Day.

Independence Day, where he punches the alien and goes, welcome to stealth. It sounds like someone is walking in the snow, not necessarily towards you, but kind of parallel to you, just beyond where you can see. Paral light?

Do I see who they are? Do I recognize them? You can't see anything. You can only hear at this point. Make another perception check. I'm picturing a lot of... 19. Do you hear what you think sounds like wheezing coming from that same direction?

It's a Pokemon. I was about to say wheezing. Careful, it could be a coughing later. I thought someone might be smoking a devil's lettuce behind a tree. Wheezing is the evolved. Get your Pokemon right, Chris. Come on. Can I sneak up on him? I want to get a closer look. Yeah,ing is the evolve. Get your Pokemon right, Chris. Come on. Can I sneak up on him?

I want to get a closer look. Yeah, make a stealth check. Thanks for making fun of my speech impediment. All right, here we go. 17. Yeah, you stealthily creep up to the tree line, and you're being very careful to hide the sound of your feet crunching the snow, and, you know, you pull up behind a tree, and you kind of peek around it,

and you see a large being walking around in a small clearing just beyond where you are. And it looks like he's a large creature made of metal. It's the iron golem. It's the thing that I get my art from. But I don't know this at the time. Do I beat him to death and steal it from him? How did it happen?

Man, I don't know. My memory is all hazy. Do I beat him to death and steal it from him? How did it happen? Man, I don't know. You tell us. My memory's all hazy. I go out and I say, hey, you. The large creature turns around and stares at you with glowing red eyes. You good? You seem like you're wheezing. He tries to make himself appear really big.

But yeah, when you say that, you kind of call him out. And you realize that he doesn't seem like he's in the best shape. He says, Halt. Who goes there? Oh, this is really sad. I'm about to lose another friend. I'm about to make a friend and then subsequently lose him.

Hey, are you one of Quadrons? Quadrons? Quadrons. He says, uh... No. I am Parkalex, one of the Borgians. Ask him if he knows who Locutus is. My brother's the only one who laughed at that because he's the only one here I think that watched Star Trek Next Generation. I got it.

Ah, the Borgians, yes. I'm a wood elf. What's up with Borgians? Tell me about your people. Make a persuasion check. Okay. I've been in the woods for a while. I ain't got no friends, so I'll strike a conversation with.

That's a one minus two, negative one. You're a teenage Kai or Kai dealers right now, so you got to talk like this. You're right, Barbara. Thank you. That's great instruction. I rolled a negative one, so I'm going to use a lucky. Wait, was this a perception roll? No, persuasion.

That tracks. He changes history, doesn't get his metal arm. Ten. Okay, that's better. Thank you for re-rolling that. I would hate to have continued this with a negative one. He kills me. I can't believe you have a negative two modifier to your persuasion. It started as a joke that I wanted to have all these, like,

shortcomings with my character. And then now it's just like, I hate this. He's an antisocial idiot. This is why Blaine hates it when we're not in combat. Because he has nothing to roll. That's going to go in his favor i'm the opposite yeah barb's like can we stop fighting and talk please by the way this is classic beginner dnd mistake is just like focusing entirely on combat uh and i'm not putting uh points anywhere else anyway that's neither here nor there his eyes seem to uh diminish a little bit.

They're not quite as intense red. Cydelius of Everwinter. How did you know my name? I didn't even tell you who I was. The Borgians know much of what happens in the Everwinter Woods. Especially that of your family. It is our sacred duty to protect the source monolith, which only appears under a blood moon like tonight.

Wow. I'm very familiar with the blood moon. Well, are you familiar with my whole family getting wiped out by old Quadrin? Sadly, yes. Were you supposed to protect us? Because you did a really bad sadly yes were you supposed to protect us because you did a really bad job if you were supposed to protect us your mother crystallina was aligned with the morgans although we are not as powerful as we once were uh so that means we're allies can we be buddies because i'm really lonely in these woods Roll for buddies I need your assistance

Yeah, sure, I ain't got nothing else going on So, what do you need? I'm your guy It's quite simple And then he stops, he begins wheezing It seems like he's having a lot of trouble catching his breath A robot's wheezing? Gollum

You know, like General Grievous Yeah, yeah, yeah Oh, true, yeah I am gravely ill Oh. A robot's wheezing? Uh, Gollum. Gollum. You know, like General Grievous. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, true. Yeah. I am gravely ill. I fear I will not see another blood moon after this. When I have passed, I ask you to conceal my body.

There are evils in this world that would use my body to do their bidding. Wait, so you're not... Are you organic? Because, like, how... I thought you... You appear to be like a... I don't know. Are you organic?

Like a machine of some sort. Golems are more, like, elemental. Yeah. So he's a metal golem. Yeah. Got it. Ideally a summer or winter. They must not use

my body to find the sword. And then with one final wheeze, the iron golem collapses to the woodland floor and thud. From the ground, snow poofs high into the air like a cloud of dust and the flakes slowly drift back down to earth. What did he mean by

the source? That's very intriguing to me. Yeah, now I gotta hide this body. We're learning about all these things, monoliths and source, and I don't know what to do. It's like 2001. There's gonna be a monkey that's gonna come and grab a bone. Borgians. Alright, well, he said that I gotta, like, destroy his body. This is gonna feel weird.

Conceal. Conceal. Destroy. That's an interesting word choice. I gotta hide his body. You really shouldn't have corrected him because his dying wish. Yeah, that's what I was gonna say. His, like, final words. This doofus wasn't even listening. How am I supposed to? I gotta destroy him?

Look at how big he is. Does that burn his body? I have to eat it? I have to eat this iron golem. Hey, we gotta conceal him. Conceal, don't feel. Don't let them know. Alright? But now we know. Let it snow.

This snow. Alright, well then I go up and I try to give him a little poke or something. Hey. What do you poke him with? I find a nearby stick on the ground. Make a dexterity save. A dexterity save. It's a save.'s a save that means something's happening 17 oh that's pretty good yeah nothing seems to happen that's why i need to do decks gonna explode on what's

the world where he rolled a two okay well i want to i want to perceive like what's going on like what this source thing could be like what part of him is so important that he needs to be concealed not destroyed uh makeup let's call it a wisdom check. You don't have like anything in your inventory that might detect some type of like, I don't know, special power or like radiation or anything like that. I don't think he has anything that is good for perceiving or investigating things. I mean, in the moment, I'm probably pretty stripped down. I don't probably have much on me, but I rolled a 15 with wisdom. down i don't probably have much on me but i rolled a 15 with wisdom well you know obviously park alex did say some of this but you do know that the borgians have special attunement to ancient

artifacts in the world and with this attunement it's possible that others could access these ancient artifacts okay and i can't let them have that i'm just gonna assume he's quadrant that he's talking about that he can't that i can't't let get into his clutches or something. Can I carry him? How heavy is this guy? Yeah, make a strength check. We're just hopping all around my checks. I'm using the...

David, you're the one. It's whatever you want. Whatever you want. I mean, don't ever say I'm railroading you. You tell me what you want, then we roll some dice and we have some fun. I don't know what I really, really want. Strength. Here we have some fun. I don't know what I really, really want. Strength. Here we go.

Nine. You try to lift him up, but you find you're able to slide him just ever so slightly. Just a couple of inches. Okay. So this is where you're hiding him, apparently. I look around and I see if there's any suitable hiding place or place that I can just conceal his body with. And not super temporary, like snow and leaves. Like I'm not that much of an idiot.

So I want to see if I can like cover him, cover him. There's a nearby rotted out tree that you think you could either roll him over and stash him in there, or you could knock the tree over, you know, exposing the decayed root system, which might leave like a hole in the ground behind. Okay. I will try to do that then. Which will put him in the tree or exposed? I think pulling the tree down, not on top of him, but

like kind of around him or exposing the roots and seeing if I can put him in there. Do I have any rope? Yeah, sure. You have rope. Okay. Remember the scene in Predator when they're setting up the traps and they're like Dylan and Arnold, they're all like pulling roots. Oh, yeah

Yeah, I want to do that. Okay. I want specifically a close-up shot of my one good bicep pulling real hard And I want I want you to get you Micah to get the guy that did the score for predator. I want him to do this episode. Who? He's probably, is he dead? No, he's not dead. It's not John McTiernan, that's the director. Who did Predator's score? No one knows. I'm looking it up.

Alan Sylvester, yeah. He was on Avengers, he's fine. He's still around. You can get him. He can work. That's good for you to give us that permission. Anyways, what roles do you need me to do to pull down that tree? You guys email Alan Sylvester.

He's 72 years old. Maybe he's like semi-retired. Maybe we can get him to sleep. He's still working. Anyways, what roles do you need me to do to pull down that tree? You guys email Alan Silvestri. He's 72 years old. Maybe he's like semi-retired. Maybe we can get him to sleep. He's still working. Make another strength check to try to see if you can knock the tree open. Okay. 10.

Yeah, you know, it's a pretty decayed tree. So you're able to, you know, loop your rope around it and, you know, pull it down. you're able to, you know, loop your rope around it and, you know, pull it down and it kind of like lifts out of the ground, exposing a pretty large root system, which is of no longer use to this tree. But yeah, it exposes a hole, let's say, you know, 10, 15 feet across that you think you could roll Park Alex into. Okay. So then I want to roll him in there, but in the process, you know, because I got to figure it out. Oh man, this is a really difficult task with just this one arm, so I want to see. I look at his good arm, and I think, well, he's not using it right now, right?

So then I try to see if I can take it off and repurpose it for my arm. I really hope he comes back to life. Ow, ow, ow! That is the one part of my body where I feel pain. Feel pain. Yeah, it appears that the Borgian is very modular and

his arm clicks off with like a very small popping noise. Okay. Well, then I try to plug it in like I'm a Lego man. You try to attach it to your shoulder, but it doesn't seem like your shoulder has the correct receptor for it. It doesn't fully attach. Okay. Well, with that rope that I used

to pull down the tree i attach the arm to my back i tie it on for you know safekeeping because i'm like i need this later and then i push the rest of the borgian's body inside of the hole yeah you attach the arm to your back and push parkalex into the hole and then like a puppy or a cat that's like covering up its its crap and a cat box litter box i i go about covering it in dirt. With your legs? And my arm. Just everything.

I just try like to kick as much dirt. Yeah. As the snowflakes continue to fall around you, they turn a shade of red, but it's not just them. The ground, the trees, and everything become stained with redness. Oh, Blood Moon. You look up to see a Blood Red Moon directly overhead

shining brightly across the everwinter woods. The ground begins to quake beneath your feet, rumbling louder and louder. Thump thump. Thump thump. Out from the ground emerges a massive standing stone covered in pulsing veins. Thump thump. Thump thump. A strange warmth falls over you like a comforting familiar blanket. Even the dull pain in your arms subsides. Time to approach the monolith.

Yeah, I guess I approach the monolith then. John Throne rocks. The pulsing gets louder. The reddish trees blur past you, swirling into a soup of colors, shapes, sounds, and smells. The world around you contracts and shrinks until everything slows down to a halt. Distant but familiar voices call out to you.

Kaiborg. Kaiborg. Are you with us? Wake up, Kyborg. Okay. I open my eyes. What's up? Wait, who's around me?

You open your eyes and you see Dr. Ahem and Meld looking over you as well as the rest of your friends. I wake up and I say, I had the strangest dream. And you were there, I point to Mutt. And you were there, I point toutt. And you were there, point to Butt. Bart. Mutt and Butt. And you were there, too.

I was. I smack Kyborg to make sure he's awake. I had the strangest dream, too. And you were there. And you. Everyone can go ahead and mark off a long rest. Yay. All right, so what does any of that mean, Doctor?

Doctor asks you. Did you learn anything? Perhaps where Quadrant's hiding or where another Diagem could be. I mean, I learned why I'm so messed up because you made me re-witness the death of my family. And there's something about the flats of Tabool. Ah. Something about the source. My metal arm is a MacGuffin.

I don't know. What else did I remember, guys? Oh, I hit a corpse. It was a metal corpse, so I don't know if it counts. We saw the map that said the Flats of Tabool. Right. Which is apparently an important piece of information. Yes.

And was there not a blood moon crystal that only appears at a certain time that seems to be important? Yeah. The monolith. There's a big veiny rock that came out of the ground. It's really weird. And that's the source we're thinking of. Very phallic. Mm-hmm.

Very veiny. Hmm. I see. This is all excellent news. I have good news to share as well. While you were all in the Deja Dreamery, Mel and I have been planning out some HQ renovations and crafting some new equipment for you all.

Come, come, I'll show you. Doctor wheels himself out of the lab toward the Great Hall. Was no one monitoring us? You were off tinkering while we were like... Well, the Deja Dreamery, it's kind of like going to sleep, you know? No, like, screen to watch. But that's why, you know, he needs to ask you, what did you see? You know, what did you learn?

Because there's no way for them to know. It's just like you're having not lucid dreams, but very vivid dreams that you're able to glean information from. Just so I could have, like, a visual. Is this, like, the people in Avatar becoming the Na'vi or is it like Eleven in Stranger Things in the pool? Or is it Matrix with Jackie A. Or is it Matrix?

I think Matrix and Avatar are very similar. Okay. It's almost like... Assassin's Creed. We're just naming off every time someone uses this kind of technology. I'd say the Deja Dreamery in particular is more mystical and magical rather than scientific or technological. You're all in a circle on Koth,

supernaturally connecting to Kyborg's memories in your mind. So sort of like inception-esque. Cool, okay. I like that tree that we touched. Yeah, I think you might've said it was based off of that technology when we first did this. And if you remember, when you all activated the Deja Dreamery this time,

there was a seed that Kyborg put in his mouth and swallowed. That kind of kicked everything off. Okay. I want to get back to that at some point, but I think we have other things to cover. You have to look for that in your poop. Then we're going to unlock Gum Gum's dreams.

Yeah, we're going to share. It sucks being the second person in the dreamer. No, what it sucks is being the fourth person Yeah God Anyway I follow I say as I follow

I realized I said it in character so that I was like Yep Yeah, I follow I will follow Oh, but I want to leave last and just kind of have a moment And just like, ah, that really bummed me out I think Kyborg is very sad to have revisited those dreams Okay, Kyborg's at disadvantage at his skill check for the rest of this episode because he's sad.

You know, you all step into the great hall of Infinite HQ, but it's pitch black. You hear a drum roll echo across the hall, and then suddenly the long room illuminates to life, revealing... I pull up my battle axe. Nothing. Oh. The hall appears completely empty, and nearly all the adjoining rooms are open, but vacant as well. Is this always how they looked? No.

No, because remember we had, there was like one room for coffee. Yeah, what? This is that area. Blaine is right. Could I ask Dr. Ahem, what happened here? Where'd everything go? Well, funny you should say that because Dr. Ahem, Meld, Atten, and Dant are all excitedly in the middle of the room yelling, ta-da! And they're doing jazz hands.

They're kind of flourishing in every direction, pointing around the room with huge beaming smiles. We're moving! You didn't tell us until now! Gum-Gum starts clapping. Bart also runs to the middle of the room and goes, ta-da! Make a performance check, Bart. I just wanted to be part

of it. Yeah, yeah. That is a 23. Oh, you put them to shame. Yeah. Ta-da! This is a Crabble magic them to shame yeah this is a crab magic trick everything disappeared hands have never been jazzier well perhaps i should explain since mayor tesla named you all the new infinites these are now officially your quarters and i am your quartermaster. The HQ is yours to decorate as you see fit. You will be able to train here in the Great Hall or relax upstairs in the lobby, store equipment in the armory, and so on.

But first things first, we have cleared out four rooms for you all. Who wants to go where? I'll be with Bart. Hey, Gum-Gum, I got good news for you, buddy. We don't have to share a room this time. That's okay, I don't mind. You can have a room all for yourself

to, you know, explore your own hobbies and interests. It's great. That means that you guys can share a room, and then I can have a room, and K-Boar can have a room, and Gumbo can have a room as well. Oh, okay. Or you can blow down that wall, and then you and Gumbo can have one shot. Yeah.

An open concept area. Yeah, I like that. That's great. I like that. Yes, feel free to make any changes to layout or decor of the HQ, but there's one more surprise in the stables once we're finished with your rooms. I love how Dr. Ahem is a doctor and also a quartermaster now, like as if being a doctor and making all this stuff and doing all the gadget things that he does isn't enough. He's also the quartermaster.

He's one of many talents. I was going to say. It would make sense that Q in the Bond films would be a doctor of some kind. Would have a PhD of like engineering of some kind. That's true. Where is the room that we did the coffee thing in? That is, if you walk in, it's the one in the most northeast corner. So to the right.

I want to take the old coffee room because I bet it smells nice. You go look in that room and you see that it's actually been claimed already. It looks like Dr. Ahem has moved into that room. Wait, they said there's four rooms for us. Well, there's six rooms total off the Great Hall. Yeah, and so two of them probably are already being used for something. Yeah. What about the room that had...

Is there a four available? Could be. There's a room that had an animal that Gum-Gum met. It was like a tiger? No, a lion. A lion? A bear? Oh, my.

I'm going off of memory here. I want to say that was either the Southwest room or the straight west room it was one of those i have a problem with going straight so i'm gonna go with uh southwest but i'm hoping that's i want that room i want the room that has like if it's i want to see if it still has like dirt and grass and a tree otherwise i'm gonna have to go outside and get all the dirt i need yeah we had the coffee room the plant room there's the the chair room clothing room clothing room the chair room that was just like a bunch of chairs trying to clean or something what was the symbol on that was it chairs trying to clean oh that okay so i remember actually now that you say that i think i remember

because that was the one with the chairs was the one directly to the west i believe i'm double checking i had different notes that i took back when we did this remotely and i don't have those notes with me but i had a whole diagram of all these rooms. When you were a wee Bart. When I was a wee little Bart. And we were working on our first puzzle together. Failing miserably the entire time. Nothing has changed.

This was where you first encountered your mortal enemy doors. Oh, right. In a hamster. Door. Squad door. Okay. Yeah. The one with the bear, that is the one in the south.

It's the Southwest corner room. That was the one that had looked like a tree and a bear and a tiger. You want to go there? Yeah, you look in the room and it appears to be totally empty. No dirt and grass and trees? No, it's just a very plain stone room. I still claim it and proceed to start doing some trips outside bringing dirt in. Not to worry. All these rooms are enchanted with Mirage Arcane.

All you have to do is imagine what you'd like the room to look like, and it will automatically configure itself to your wishes. Okay, then what I'm imagining is about when the room is like about 90% transformed and where the wild things are. It's still got some of his stuff, like his bed is kind of made of trees, but it's not fully where the wild things are. It's still got some of his stuff, like his bed is kind of made of trees, but it's not fully where the wild things are. So there's some modern amenities, but it's mostly very shrubbery. Where the slightly chaotic things are.

Yeah. Where the mild things are. Where the mild things are. Ah, now you've got it. Which reminds me, if you'd like any specific decorations crafted, Meld has offered her services as craft person. She is quite skilled in the various trades of air bloom. I need you to make a series of little shelves and obstacle courses,

like when people convert their houses, like their cats can be all along the walls, for Gumbo to get some exercise going up and around these little stairs and stuff that's a good call yeah mel pulls out a notepad and begins making notes i don't want gumbo getting bit getting out of shape or you bart did you uh have something you wanted to say there i think me and gum gum are gonna share a room and i think it's only fair that we just go back and forth saying words and objects of things we want to have in the room. I'll start.

Okay. Bunk beds. Top. Top bunk. That's two words. Gum gum. Sectional. Magic.

Big screen TV. Crystal ball. Crystal ball. Big painting of Bart as a prince book of magic do flowers you dummy I can do those myself then pottery how about that

where are your flowers gonna go in the ground I like how I'm like let's name objects and I say bunk beds and you say top I feel like, let's name objects and I say bunk beds and you say top. I feel like GumGum would not understand the instructions. You want some friendship bracelets in there too? Yes, friendship bracelets.

What about the environment itself? What would you all want it to look like? What's the vibe? Kind of like, I would think like a 90s arcade. I was thinking, at least maybe in a corner, like a table with all my magic artifacts in it. And then maybe I have two pieces of paper. One that's mapping out all my weird abilities where I teleport

and things shoot out of me and trying to understand that. And flowers. And then the other one is a map of where my dad is and who he is. And it's all the people I think it might be. Just dad? It's the always sunny, always funny. God, brain broke.

It's always sunny in Philadelphia, the crazy person board. I think it's his dad in the middle and every single person we've encountered. Including us, he thinks we could possibly. With red string going to every person. Bart, I have a question. which corner of your room will be the shrine dedicated to Aurox oh uh

that's uh in my pocket right here I have a little notepad where I drew a picture from memory that I like to look at from time to time um I also want a stage so I can practice my music just a little one just to perform to gum gum what if we took the other room

and made it a performing stage theater slash magic show stage? I mean, you have another room because you guys are bunking together in this one. Yeah. That's good. So which room do you want to take? There's one that's directly west,

one that's directly east, and one that's in the southeast. And Mud took which one? He took the southwest one. I didn't label that one. I feel like... That's enough. Can I get the one that's in the southeast. And Mud took which one, Arnie? He took the southwest one. I didn't label that one. I feel like... That's enough. Can I get the one that's on the west?

Yeah. Because the other ones would be conjoined too, which would benefit you guys. Okay. We'll take whichever. There's no actual connection between those two rooms. They have to come out to the great hall and get between them, but they are right next door to each other. Hey, guys, a bursting arrow.

Take right care of that. Wait, no. What if we dug a little hole in the ceiling and then gumbo could crawl between them unless he's still evil i'm not sure if he's good now he did attack gum he did attack gum gum he did i remember that it was during the flashback it's like when the family dog attacks one of the kids whenever you're trying to get me to go to the church and he bit me oh oh okay i remember that It'll lure him. Yeah.

He might still be evil. He might still be. All right. I've changed my mind. I think our room should have the vibe of like a basement from the 80s. Okay. Ooh. Very nice.

With a table to play Dungeons and Dragons on. Which they do have. I'm thinking I've been watching a lot of Stranger Things. Yeah. Just to be clear, which room is the 80s basement? Is it the one directly east or the one southeast? Southeast. Southeast.

And then the one directly east would be the stage. Our performance room. Stage slash magic. Yeah. We could do magic on a stage. Our performance room. Yeah. Okay.

Sounds good. Is there anything else you guys are going to need or are you pretty happy with that? Trying to decide if there's anything we actually should have in there that's like super useful. I mean, I think for me, it's just like having the area to like try and research my magic but you said you would do that in the bedroom in the bed yeah i think you should have like one of those like walls that you know typically it's like an arsenal it's all these guns but it's all these instruments yeah yeah yeah i feel like that would go in the performance room ah it's a good call all my all my instruments but like i wouldn't have a scene where we all we're all like all

right mount up and then you walk in you're looking and you're like, I need this loot. We should have walkie talkies. Do those exist? Yes. Can I also request a pull up bar in my room? Like just to be able to work out?

My strength is just really low and I'm thinking maybe I could improve it. Okay. Well, there's the facilities here at Infinite HQ. Remember you all did some training before

when you did that mock combat with Brink Tussler and his friends to save Ant and Dan? But you can have a workout bar in your room. I'm just saying, like, don't forget there are other facilities here as well. I was trying to gain the system to try to up my strength modifier. Can we put a mirror in Kyborg's room so he can practice talking to people and not be so bad at it? And kissing.

Practice kissing on a mirror. You can practice on your pillow or your hand. Oh, gross. No, he'd want to practice on a mirror. Bart and GumGum, are you guys good with your mirrors? Yeah, if y'all are good, I'm going to go with Kyborg. It'd be cool if we had some sort of light system of like alerting each other. Is this what the sock on the doorknob's for?

A little different type of alert. Listen, I know GumGum and I are close, okay? We're not that close. We should do like a lantern that each one represents us. And then if you see like if one lantern gets lit then it gets lit in every room so it's like our way of like quietly signaling each other you know what i mean like danger yeah yeah some sort of like very subtle only we know about it kind of what about and if gondor needs aid just like a different exactly one to go off which one do i

light if i just need to take a twosie somewhere just let you guys know yeah that's the brown lantern what's your room like kyborg oh my room uh i know we have facilities my room is a giant weight room because i don't think that there's any uh limit on size because it's you know all magic and illusions and stuff so it's a very big very vast gym every piece of equipment even like a calf machine there There's like four calf machines. Again, I will remind you, like I told Bart, there are training facilities here at Infinite HQ. You can have your own as well if you want. I will, yeah. I don't want to run into anybody in my gym.

So I'll have a whole gym. I'll have a really nice bed, you know, reasonably sized. And then I want a tool bench for tinkering with my arm and fixing it up. I want a big painting of me and my family. So Mel, get on that. And then I do want a wall that's entirely made of mirrors. Maybe some like cool Olympic rings and all that stuff like hanging off the ceiling so that I could be doing like my acrobatics and stuff. Nice.

Yeah. That all sounds really good. Like a very serious training room. Yes. Wow. A gym right here. This is awesome. I can come over and work out anytime.

And I want several unbreakable locks on the floor. Fret not, my dear Gum-Gum. If training is what you require, then look no further than right here. The Great Hall is also enchanted and can be reconfigured to be a training room. Oh, Neo. If you so want. So if you had enough time and an instructor, you could train whatever you want. Just about anything you can imagine, you could train here. Regardless whether it's armor, weapons, tools, whatever. Oh, I do want an archery lane in mine as well.

So that I can like fire arrows at distant targets. Can I have one with a caboose? A train with a caboose? If only our listeners could see the poop eating grin that Chris had after making that bad joke. I was so confused. Mud's getting curious about what was in the stables. So can Mud head over to the stables? Yeah. What about everyone else?

Yeah, I'm good with my room. Before he leaves, Bart, before closing the door of the room, he just looks in and smiles and goes, Ah, home sweet home. He's never had a room like that before. No, it's sweet. Ah, home sweet home. That'll be our routine every time we leave. As always, don't forget to give us a follow on social media at StinkyDragonPod on Twitter and Instagram.

Tag us on social media using hashtag StinkyDragonPod. We've got a subreddit if you're into that Reddit kind of stuff. You could check it out over there. And if you interact with us or use the hashtag, your name might be used in an upcoming episode as an NPC. For example, Kariana, Kyborg's sister, was named after

at Carrie F. Davis. Tic Tac the Goliath was named after Ticosaurus Rex. Sebastian, Kyborg's dad, was named after at Dying Wolf. And Kristalina, Kyborg's mom,

was named after at Zemele22. Thank you so much for interacting with us. Hopefully you enjoy the characters that are named after you. And some of our voices for the show are done by, you know, people who work here, people who work on the show or friends of ours. Dr. Ahem is voiced by Micah Reisinger, who's the writer, editor, composer, the DM behind the DM, as it were, when we play these games. Mailed Manor is voiced by Kayla Milton.

Kariana and Kristalina, who are Kyborg's sister and mom, is voiced by Laurel Rothamil. Cooley Smiley. Sebastian, who's Kyborg's dad, is voiced by Dennis Fent. And Quadron is voiced by BlizzBear. And don't forget, we've got a Smarsh is King t-shirt available now at store.roosterteeth.com. If you've already bought the shirt, thank you.

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Non-investment advice. Crypto trading involves risk of loss. See Kraken.com slash legal slash ca dash pru dash disclaimer for info on Kraken's undertaking to register in Canada. You all head upstairs and make your way outside towards the front of the HQ. You feel the high noon sun bathing you with warmth and find the massive iron portcullis open. Inside, you notice the stables have changed since the last time you visited. Most of the enclosures have been emptied, save for one. And you see Dr. Ahem just to the left of the entrance. He's sitting near the first enclosure, smiling with a twinkle in his eye, looking inside the stall. He just put down the other

Infinites animals, so he's really happy about it. Actually, no, I do ask, where are the other Infinites mounts? You walk up to Dr. Ahem to ask him your question. You see that he's slightly distracted. He's looking into one of the stalls and he's watching Fred happily playing in the snow amidst a wintry forest environment. That's your fox, by the way. I remember. Fred's chasing snowflakes as they flurry past him. Ah, good boy.

Don needs to have more faith in us. I want to remind you, he got a negative one on a roll earlier, so we don't remember things. Uh, Doctor, um, so I know that Sleek is dead, and so is uh, what's the other one?

Well, as far as Gum-Gum's understanding. What happened to the other Infinites that aren't dead? Did they get fired? Well, I suppose that depends. Who specifically are you asking about, Gum Gum? I'm not helping. I'm putting faith in Chris. I got this.

It's four of them. One of them's like a leaf. No. Oh, yeah, yeah. A leaf is one of them. At first, I thought he said a leaf. It did sound a little bit like that. I was very confused.

A lot of Fs being thrown around in words here. As I recall from your reports of the mission, when you arrived at the summit of the Escalon, you found Aleve had mutated and merged with Grizzly, becoming the duo-headed aberrant monster, calling itself Grizzly. Oh, no. I believe you entered into combat and vanquished

them oh yeah that was my understanding oh vanquished like they we killed them well i wasn't there kyborg what did you end up doing with grizzly what did we do with grizzly i don't know i don't think we i don't think we finished them off i think we just left occupied i honestly think that as far as the episode goes like that episode ended and then you like time jumped yeah i was i was waiting for you all to say what you did to resolve the situation with grizzly but no one ever did so resolve it what did you all do with grizzly oh we're retconning it okay so we're coming up with not retconning we're just finally you are all finally asking the question, what happened to the- Redcon requires an original story of what happened. Okay.

I want GumGum's story. Do you want it in GumGum's head? Sure. This is GumGum's headcanon. Well, I love GumGum's headcanon. It's a great side podcast we're about to start. Well, if y'all want to change anything, let me know. Yep.

Well, I remember it all now. Oh, God. Micah's head is in his hands. We took a leaf and grizzly leaf which i think is the same person and i we carried them back and we had to uh doctor him didn't you cut them in half and make them two people again uh sure gum gum and then but they were injured so bad that they had to retire forever and go off to a farm. That's what you told me. Oh, yes, that's absolutely right, Gum-Gum.

How could I have forgotten? I was able to remedy the transmutative magics of the Escalon. Nevertheless, Grizzly and Aleve were never quite the same again. So they decided to move on to a more simple life. Yeah, you said they went On a farm, yeah On a farm, that's what happened to my pet goldfish That's what Bart said They're in the same farm?

Uh, uh, yeah Goldfish love farms Goldfish love farms They love farms They love flopping around in the fields And harvesting things Big fans of corn, those goldfish Yep, big fins

What about God, it's not sleek, it's not... God, it's not Sleek. It's not Aleve. It's not Grizzly. Spectral? Spectral. They both were in the explosion. Once again,

you would have to recount the details since you were all there. I believe you mentioned an explosion with Spectral and Sleek? Right, but we didn't, like, witness any deaths per se. Nobody. Right.

Nobody. I'm still confused as to why you didn't search for their remains. Well, I think we, I think we attempted to go back, but then you kept on like burning us. So then we had to leave the area because you kept on setting us on fire. It's a shame you couldn't come up with a solution to that problem. Don't let him. Don't stop. Don't.

He's feeding the troll. He is. He is trying to get you to engage in that. Do you all remember if Grizzly and Aleve said anything before they left? Or gave us anything? I think they gave me all of their gold. I think they did give us it. They gave me a magic wand.

I think they actually knew who your father was. What? They whispered it in all of our ears except for yours. Yeah, they did. Just for reference, I don't think it matters at all, just in case you were curious. The room Kyborg claimed was formerly a leaves room. The room that Mud claimed was formerly Grizzly's room. The bedroom that Gum-Gum and Bart are sharing was formerly Sleek's room.

And the magic slash stage room was formerly Spectral's room. You guys might want to clean up all those stains. It has a weird smell to it. Well, okay, so we're in the stable. One of the stables, him is looking in and Fred's there playing. Yeah, that was Kyborg's fox. Yes. Thank you.

Thanks. Are any of the other stables have anything? They vacant? You see one of the other stalls has a den with tunnels located beneath an idyllic countryside. I'm assuming that that's going to be Grizzlies. Actually, I created this for Gumbo. Yeah. Of course, Mud.

You're more than welcome to alter it however you see fit. Oh, God. I know who your mount should be. Who your mount should be? Fred's in his stall. Fred's in the stall. So who's in there? They don't have.

The other two stalls are empty. You guys don't have little companions. Who should it be? Fred's in his stall. Fred's in the stall, so who's in there? They don't have... The other two stalls are empty. You guys don't have little companions. Should it be? I invite you to house any pets, mounts, familiars here at the stables to keep them safe. Of course, you can take them out anytime you want on missions, but if you'd like to leave them where they're

careful and safe, we have facilities here. Chris is very excited about them. What is it? You should create a throne room for Smarsh. Then you can ride Smarsh. Can we ride Smarsh? What's the status of Smarsh? I need to know.

Smarsh is king. You don't know. You tell me. What's the last thing you saw with him? I was riding him, and then spider mud got me out of the cave so that Smarsh could battle the other spider, the usurper. King Obi?

Yeah, the usurper, because Smarsh is king. Okay, yeah. I mean, that's the last thing you remember. Smarsh won. I just realized I misspoke a little while ago. I said there were two empty stables. There's actually three empty stables. There's six total stables.

There's one for Fred, one for Gumbo, three that are empty, and another one that appears to be filled with shelves of tools and scrap metal and wood. Can I go investigate that shelf of stuff? Yeah, make a investigation check. There's like an unusual box in there in the middle of this stable. Okay. And then all around it are, you know, various tools that you don't know what they do necessarily and scrap pieces of metal and wood all around. Aha. I see you found my latest invention. Yeah.

Well, what do you think of it? Meld and I are quite proud of it. Yeah. I mean, as an inventor, I'm sure you'd love to talk about all your inventions and what they do in great detail, so why don't you you know, delight me with that. Why don't you delight me? Yeah.

It's a great sentence. You're looking at the patented ahem, mobile. With a very simple command word, it will unfold and become a versatile vehicle for long distance traveling. Be it land, air, or water, the Ahemmobile will get you where you need to go. Ah, can I have it?

Well, it's for all of you, the Infinite. Well, could you just spell out the word that we need to say? Don't say it out loud, of course. Just spell it out for me. Was it just any word of Gus is walking over to Barbara? Like Frankenstein's monster hands out reach to the notepad. I hope that when it transform, it doesn't actually transform.

It just gets a little bit bigger and it's just always a box. Land, sea, or air, it's just box. And we're all in a box. Doctor retrieves a piece of scrap paper from his shelves, jots something down, and hands it to Bart. What's the word, Bart? Oh, I can't say it out loud.

Simply recite that command word, Bart, and the ahem mobile will transform to whatever you need. However, it does require some form of propulsion. If you're ever in such a need, I would recommend mud casts, wild sheep, or conjure animals. That would provide you all with some type of beast that could pull the vehicle along. So mud's the engine?

It's not a very good invention if it requires... It could take you anywhere. Yeah, it's just... You've just created a vessel of some kind. Well, the thing is, is we don't have anybody on our team that's good enough at Wild Shape that can fly. So, I mean, this is the best thing.

Can mud not fly? Mud can fly. No, it can't. Yeah. If you turn into a bird of some sort, Pete. I'm pretty sure I gotta be a higher level CR. I think you just got it. Did I? Yeah. Did we just skip over that? Well, then I am out of here. As John's looking that up, Dr. Ahem starts touching his pocket.

Oh, dearie me, I almost forgot. And he pulls out a very smooth stone and holds it out. Here, this is for you all as well. What does he do? Bart grabs it. Nope. What does he do? Dr. Ahem looks at Bart and says,

That, Bart Bart is called Ascending Stone While you touch the stone you can send A short message of 25 Words or less to me The bearer of the other stone And he holds up an identical Stone

It's like a walkie talkie It's like Twitter let me see that And I take a you can't try it. It's like Twitter. Let me see that and I take a hammer. Can't try it? Yeah, could we try it? Dr. Ham says, sure, if you want to, but I must warn you, you can only activate the sending stone once per day. So use it wisely.

We're not doing anything else today, right, guys? It's just a little relax, a self-care day here at home. Not planning to go anywhere. Yeah. Looking at DMsms for a couple oh that's up to you guys well it might be rather unremarkable to use the sending stone at the moment since we are standing right next to each other that's okay okay why don't you run down the hall dr m all right I take the stone. I go, hi, this is Gum Gum. And I throw it at the doctor. I whisper into the stone and then I throw it. Roll a d4 for me. Actually, wait, wait, wait.

I take it back. Roll a d20. Oh, no. I would say when it's just rolling, it's straight die. When I say that, I don't want you to know what's going on. You crit and kill Dr. Ahem with a stone. Please, no. Seven.

Oh, my die. Seven. Okay, yeah. You throw the stone at Dr dr ahem in his direction but uh you missed rather wildly i think you may be too excited to like turn and run so it clearly misses him and skitters to the ground uh behind him but dr ahem holds up his stone and says uh yes i received your message gum gum by the way you don't need to send the sending stone to me in order for me to hear the message.

Wow, it's incredible. Could you talk back to us through it? Yes, communication can happen both ways. But only 25 words each back and forth once a day? Correct. I think it's 155 characters. Or what if we get a maximum of 25 words just total, and then once they hit 25,

I'm afraid it only opens up. It's our king communication channel once a day. Sorry, guys. I tried. Can I go pick up the stone and put it in my possession? Yes. Okay. Bart, I think, should be the bearer of the stone.

Is it in the inventory here? I believe it should be. Sending stone? Sending stone. So we got the Bart mobile or the whatever infinite car. I think it's be. Sending Stone? Sending Stone. So we got the Bart Mobile or the whatever, infinite car. I think it's the mud carriage. Mud propulsion vehicle. It's the Ahem Mobile is what it's called. Yes, that is the official name.

Did we get clarification on whether or not Mud can fly? Mud turns into a giant bat and flies off. Can you carry people? Nope, I'm out of here. Bye, guys. Take me off. I can carry my hands to the bat. Mud realizes he can fly and he is no longer touching the ground.

Well, you would be able... Dr. Ahem explained, you haven't seen it yet, but Dr. Ahem explained that you would be able to pull the Ahem-mobile along with you. As long as I'm a big enough animal? Yeah. I mean, obviously a tiny bat wouldn't do it, but... Giant bat. Turn into a luck dragon so I can go, yeah! Right on top of you. As long as I'm a big enough animal? Yeah. I mean, obviously a tiny bat wouldn't do it, but... Giant bat. Turn into a

luck dragon so I can go, yeah! Right on top of you. Never ending story. Alright, so, I mean, we all got our whatchamacallits? Gear. We got our gear, we got our rooms, and we got our stables. Some of us don't have mounts. I don't think you could ride your fox anyway.

No, I don't think so either. We don't have any sort of mount, do we? Yeah, but you know what that means. We got to go find some. Do we perhaps know the location of the Flats of Tabool? Yes, the Flats of Tabool are due east of Bouldery, not too far from Pious Pass and Winder Canyon. But might I recommend you visit Everwinter along the way?

And when's the next blood moon? That's a great question. It's every seven days. It's a seven days to die reference. 28 day cycle usually. There's a blood moon seven days to die. I'm not sure when the next blood moon is, Gum Gum. Alright, so it looks like we need to go on a trip to the flats. Yeah.

And maybe make a pit stop. No. I think we should probably check on, I mean you guys are all there. We need to check on that robot body to see if it's been recovered. What was that robot's body that was super important to your story? What was their name? Arcolex. Oh, look at you.

You tried to call him out. He knew it. I'm impressed. I don't know. This might be backtracking, but do we ever figure out what the exact motivation of, what's her name? Baudrin? No. Paralite? Paralite?

Like, she was trying to save the world or whatever? She was just trying to bring order via, you know, tyrannical control. Okay. Tyrannical, I mean, that's subjective. That's like your opinion. Actually, no, it's not. Mud saying is tyrannical. That is where Mud lands on that. Well, speaking of before we get going to the Flats of Tabool,

where is Parallax? Do we feel like she's safe and secure? Where's Parallite? Is she secure, or do we need to worry about her getting out? I think we left her at the bar at that last place. We keep leaving enemies' places. Dr. Ahem says, not to worry,

she's under lock and key and being guarded 24-7 at the tower near the Infinite HQ. That's where the Emus Gateway used to be. Where are the gloves? Yeah, you take her gloves? Yes, of course. Those are in our possession as well under lock and key. Uh, different

lock and key. Different lock and key? Okay, I was gonna make sure. Anyone wanna put those gloves on? They could seem cool. We probably can't because they're behind lock and key. Okay. Not yet, at least. Is there anything else that we need to do before we go on this trip? I could seem cool. We probably can't because they're behind lock and key. Oh, okay. Not yet, at least. Is there anything else that we need to do before we go on this trip? I guess say goodbye. I think we should hop into the Ahem-mobile.

Do you want to do that, then? I want to say goodbye to my new room. Okay. While you do that, I want to go say hi to Fred and maybe feed him some food and give him some scritches. Alright. I guess everyone's doing their little montage of different things. Bye, sweet home.

Bye, sweet home. Anybody else want to get anything else done? Yeah, Mud refills his little sack that he always has dirt in with extra dirt for the trip. I grab some coffee to go, and I also get a sweet pump in at my new gym. Should we load up to the ahem-mobile? Yeah. I mean, ahem-mobile. There you go.

I'm very curious what the word is that makes this thing turn into a box for you guys to sit in for me to carry you around. How are you guys going to travel there, by the way? Are you going to go

by land, by sea, by air? What do you think is the best way to get there? No, no. I would think air. Yeah, I'm thinking

we should take it down to the fact that I can fly now. How big of a flying animal can you turn into? I can turn into a giant bat. You can also turn into a giant owl as well. Is that got a bigger carrying load?

Someone in here is going to spy an owl. Yeah, I have an owl down. I just didn't know which had a carrying load. Yeah, no, I just wanted to make sure you had it on your list. That's all. I can also conjure animals to then also accompany me. Gotcha. Okay.

I can also conjure animals to then also accompany me. Gotcha. Okay. Okay. So y'all are going to travel by air using the Ahem-mobile out to the Flats of Tabool. Are you going to be a giant bat, John? I'm going to be a bat. Is that what you decided? Okay.

May I make a request? No. Okay. Just kidding. I'm just kidding. I just always wanted to say that. When we board the Ahem-mobile and it turns into a plane and all that stuff, I want Mud to give like the pilot speech like, welcome to i'm your pilot today oh and can we put like the voice filter on it too

to make it sound like a pilot coming over an intercom go ahead once bart activates the hem mobile and uh mud becomes uh the bat then yeah we will hear mud give his uh his speech we're waiting with so much power here to like just never say the word all right is everyone on everyone ready well they're not on because it's not. Oh. It's just a box. It's a box. No, he's not here.

What? Dr. Ahem. Dr. Ahem says, yes. Ahem. Yes. Cowabunga! Yeah, the box seemingly has a small explosion and deploys itself into the shape of a flying

machine and it's uh in the stables there in the middle between all of you two feet to be completely clear it is in fact not a flying machine because it actually can't fly it's a glider it's a glider yeah that being said i feel like like like peasants out you know doing like work for their king are gonna look up in the sky and be like like they're like wherever we fly people are gonna be running and scared terrified do we get to pick how it looks do you want to pick how it looks in my head because of the fact that it is a flying machine that has no propulsion then it is essentially just a hot air balloon basket is what it is. What I was picturing was like those Leonardo da Vinci

drawings of what he envisioned a flying machine to be with like those kind of pseudo organic looking wings. Death machine is what it is. Yeah. If we can make it look like a dragon. But I mean it's up to you guys. You tell me what y'all want it to look like. I want it to look like a dragon. Yeah, that's fine. Okay.

It's going to look like a dragon. Remember those people you said were going to be terrified? Yeah. They're going to look like a dragon. Yeah, that's fine. Okay. It's going to look like a dragon. Remember those people you said were going to be terrified? Yeah. They're going to be even more terrified. Cool. No one will try and kill us. I'll just shoot bursting arrows down

to make him think it's like flame balls. Gum Gum's already eating his mid-flight snack. I'm sorry, I got hungry. I passed out pretzels and peanuts. All right, go ahead and give the pilot speech. Oh, yes. Hello and welcome to Mud Air. Sounds silly to say now.

You go for Air Mud? Air Mud. The rules don't say a bat can't pull a machine. Today we'll be flying, taking a direct flight to the Flats of Tabool. It looks to be a pretty smooth flight. No turbulence ahead of us. Currently, the current temperature outside is who the hell knows what, because I don't know if we have a way of knowing that.

Let's do it in Kelvin, whatever that is. Then no one will know. We're asking that everybody turn off all of their devices and sending stones for the ascent. And please secure yourself to whatever the hell you can. I don't know how this dragon is going to hold on to you. And I'm looking forward to a wonderful flight. So once again, thank you for flying.

I have a question for the pilot. You have to hit the button. Yeah, there's normally not a Q&A portion. How many hours of flight do you have? I for the pilot. You have to hit the button. Yeah, there's normally not a Q&A portion. How many hours of flight do you have? I don't know. I think what he's asking is how long can you stay transformed as an animal? I'm asking how many hours of flight he has. Flight hours.

Yeah, he's highly inexperienced. I'm happy to report this is my first flight. I've literally never done this before. And the first time I'm going to do it, I'm going to do it with about a collective 500 pounds underneath me. Probably more because I'm heavy. Ahem, have you invented a pair of chutes? What? A pair of chutes?

I can assure you, in the event of an accident, I'll be fine. I'll keep flying and just drop you guys. I am really happy I have my vest of slow descent right now. You have your immovable rod. That just teleports safely. Once you get within

30 feet of the ground, just teleport yourself to the ground. My momentum would still be the same. You think so? Yeah. Teleport yourself upside down. According to Nightcrawler rules, momentum ret still be the same. You think so? Yeah. Teleport yourself upside down. According to Nightcrawler rules, momentum retains when you teleport. Can I borrow your immovable rod? Right, yeah. So I would still have momentum, right?

Teleport yourself coming up from the ground. Right. You know what? Yes. Because I'm actually here for the party, I want to give Kyborg my immovable rod to borrow. For that, I would just drop it. I'd just activate it over and over and I'd slowly descend. It has to attach to something.

It has to attach to something. Yeah. No. It doesn't attach to the air. The Immovable Rod just stops in air. I think it does just stop in air. By the way, before I look it up, Wild Shape, you'll be able to stay as a beast for four hours.

Okay. Four hour flight, huh? So if it goes over four hours, I'll have to turn back into me and then quickly turn back into a bat again. That's why it's a claim. I know on flight they say to put your oxygen mask on before helping others, but we should probably put it on Gum Gum first. So the immovable rod specifically says that the rod doesn't move even if it is defying gravity. Yeah.

And it becomes magically fixed in place. So it does not have to attach to anything. I've always imagined it like the stuff that they've created through like with physics where they've been able to freeze something in its quantum state. Yeah. That's what I think of the movable rod as it frees itself in the quantum state. This rod is incredibly

powerful. It has so many practical applications. We could have used it so many times. Wow. I think i've used it twice once pretty sure there might be another time i've used it i did my that will never be over so anyway that's cool if things go bad we could just freeze in place this is like if you're reading a comic it's like find out what they're talking about back in issue nine yeah yeah a little blur the origin of the immovable rod.

Please return to page six. All right. Let's get this going. And I turn into a giant bat. Okay. Everyone's in. They got their seatbelt securely fastened and you're ready for takeoff. Or takeoff.

Ready for takeoff. It's a pretty far ride to get where you need to go. But, you know, you're flying. It's a straight shot for you. You got four hours of flying time. You'll be able to get where you need to go. But, you know, you're flying. It's a straight shot for you. You got four hours of flying time. You'll be able to get there. However, you know, traveling such a long distance

can be kind of scary. Let's be honest. Mud, why don't you roll me a D6? Oh, no. This is going to be whatever attacks us, huh? That's a one. Well, could be good. Yeah, it's a little bumpy.

You know, it's your first time in the Ahem-mobile. It's your first time flying. Like you said, it's your first time in the hem mobile. It's your first time flying Like you said it's your first time pilot You're not quite sure at first and it seems a little scary You know getting off the ground and the the wind is operating in a way You're not used to because you're not firmly planted on the ground, but you actually take off just fine So the way it works is it like are we dropping from a height or will be like it's he like running and then? I imagine it's like whenever they had those banners that they fly by the beach.

Where he flies and then he comes back around and then he like grabs onto us while he's flying. Well, no, he can take off from the ground. With us in tow? Yeah. All right. But yeah, you're able to take off and climb up into the air with no issue at all. It's an amazing feeling to be free of the ground. You've never seen the world from this perspective.

I get up really high and then I do a little fake drop for them. Like, just kind of let them, just a little bit to make their stomachs go up into their throats. Ooh. Whee! Constitution saving throw. Yeah, constitution saving throw. Yeah, sure, why not? Everyone make a constitution saving throw.

Oh, man. Are there windows? It's open air. I feel like it's a dragon, like, shit. 17, by the way. Yeah. You're just, you're in the top of it, just filling in the top of it. 17 for Bart, 22 for Highborg.

Could Bart be the little flight attendant with a little apron pushing down a drink cart and everything like that? Sure, if you want. 17. Yeah, you all feel your stomachs kind of drop, but you all feel okay. No one loses their lunch. Cook it to a soda, hot tea, coffee. Take a pack of Deez Nuts. I'm sorry, we're all out of deez nuts.

We have eez nuts here. Okay, I'll take one. After traveling for a couple of hours to the west, Kyborg, the land begins to look familiar to you. The lands of Everwinter, the lands of your home. So it's time to come in and put this baby down and make a little landing. Mud, roll me another deez six.

I knew you were going to make... The man who has a podcast about aeronautical accidents. Takeoff and landing are the most dangerous times of flight. So roll me a D6, Mud. Go to the black box town. What's more dangerous, takeoff or landing? Landing. Really?

Yeah. Someone said takeoff is more dangerous because landing, you're coming in for essentially... You're just lowering yourself versus takeoff. You have to have the right thing. Well, takeoff, you just need... As long as your engines are working thrust, you're getting away from the ground. If you think about landing, it's a controlled crash every time. I imagine it's also.

You're going 150 to 200 miles an hour at the ground. Yeah, that's true. And there's got to be way more landing accidents. I believe so. Off the top of my head, I believe so. What am I rolling? You can find out all the details on this. You just search for Black Box Sound wherever you listen to podcasts. I need a Black Box Sound episode about this.

Sorry, guys, I only listened to it. I guess we're going to crash. I only listened to 30 Morbius Minutes. Whatever that show is. As you're coming in to land, you experience a massive gust of wind blowing against you. It's almost like a wind shear. And you feel like it's blowing you off course,

speaking of the danger of landings. And you're uh you're struggling to hold on to the ahem mobile uh make a strength saving throw for me to make sure you're able to hold on to the ahem mobile okay strong you can do it 17 oh yeah yeah you hold on pretty securely it's your first time landing but even with the gust of wind you manage to hold on and safely land everyone i'm one of those annoying morons on like a spirit airlines that just landed in Vegas and I start clapping as soon as we start landing. And then I get up immediately to get my overhead back. Barbara's triggered.

Could I cast... Could I command Kaibar to sit? I'm one of those flight attendants that doesn't take anyone's BS, and I just go, say it. All right, yeah, you all are on the ground. So just to establish it, like wherever Winter is, it's located in the same general realm, kind of where Urbloom is. They're not like right next to each other or anything,

but it's in like that same part of the world. So you arrive at the edge of the Everwinter woods at the border of kyborg's former village or at least what's left of it time has not been kind to the once sprightly elven town filled with laughing children and the russian waterfall now all that remains is frozen riverbed the hushed winds of the past whistling through the smoldering ruins of thatched homes and a solitary statue standing in the center of town of Kristalina. Her face is still marred with a black index. I want to go pay tribute to the statue of my mother.

What are you going to do? I want to put an arrow at her feet. You shoot an arrow at her? No, you idiot. I want to put an arrow from my... An arrow. I want to put an arrow at her feet. That's nice. God, I'm trying to have an emotional moment with my fictional mom,

and you're over here cracking wise. He's trying to fix your grammar. Yeah. Can we also, like, visit my family's home? Yeah. Is that a good place to go look? Yeah. You kneel.

Excuse me, Neil. Leave an arrow at the foot of the statue of Kristalina and begin making your way back to your childhood home, which, oddly enough, everyone knows where it is. You all were there. I see that happen, and I go, Kyber, you left an arrow! You left an arrow over there! Can I, um, I'd like to

turn back into mud, and I'd like to cast Mending on the statue. Aww. What does that do? Spell repairs a single break or tear an object you touch, such as broken chain link to have a broken key, a torn cloak, or a leaking wineskin. Hoping to see if it might remove that black mark off her face.

I don't know. I'm stretching the definition of this spell. Yeah, that's kind of what I was asking, like what your goal with the spell was. Yeah, it spruces the statue up a bit and it does remove the black X off the face of the statue. And you get an inspiration, Dr. Mud. Kyborg gives a friendly pat

on Mud's back and he really appreciates the gesture. That's very kind of him. What kind of flowers did your mom like? Oh, that's very nice of you to ask, Gum-Gum. Because of her red hair, I'm going to say, let's go with roses. Okay, here's a rose. And I make a rose, and I put it at her feet

next to the arrow that Gum-Gum put back. Because I gave him a stern look. He puts the arrow down and then places the immovable rod over it. After that kind of moment. Unless Bart wants to do anything. He blows a kiss. For my dead mother.

Yeah. Bart, here's a little airborne kiss to the statue of Crystal Anna. Everyone shows their love in their're there your own unique way. Thank you, Bart. I rolled a 17 on performance. Nice. You make out with the statue of my dead mom.

No, your mom was hot. All right, we're moving on, folks. Yeah, you all head back over to Kaiborg Childhood Home. And, you know, like most of the rest of the town, it's very dilapidated. You know, it seems like it's mostly just the foundation and like a collapsed thatched roof over the center of the town it's very dilapidated you know it seems like it's mostly just the foundation and like a collapsed thatched roof over the center of the house there's nothing like the second floor is gone and no the second floor is totally gone uh make a perception check for me kyborg yikes

that's a 10 yeah you know you're kind of digging around a little bit and you find the skeleton of a displacer beast uh in the kitchen a displacer beast have we met one of those before what is that you met one in the dreamery it was the beast. Have we met one of those before? What is that? You met one in the dreamery. It was the beast that was being prepared for dinner at Cydelius' home. Yeah, this really did kind of freeze in time. Can we visit the battlefield where my parents

fell? Sure, yeah. Literally in front of the house. Yeah, you all head off. Remember, it was kind of close to a tree line that were coming out of the trees. You head in that direction and it seems like a serene calm clearing uh with you know snow in the area is there any like based off of the very fresh memory uh is there any way i can like visit the area where my mother and father fell yeah i mean around there yeah like you said the memory is very fresh since you just relived it. You know, you find the area where they both fell,

and you find a small patch of wildflowers growing on each location. Oh, that's really sad. Okay, well, I'm done with this bummer trip. Do we want to start heading to the flats, or do you think there's anything else around here that we can look at? Is there any value in us going and finding your Aeon Golem, the remains of it? Probably. Probably. Probably.

Yeah. Is there anything else in the house that we want to take a look at? I was hoping to run into my mom's bow, but I'm assuming that it got destroyed in a Quadrant explosion. Did your parents have any secret things? Can we look in the parents' room? Yeah, make a, let's call it an investigation check part. Mud follows and also does a check.

18 for Bart. Negative one for Gundam. Seven. Twelve. Bart, in poking around, you find a scroll. It seems to be pretty charred under some of the ash and the timber. Can I open it up? Yeah.

And that's where the parents are. It's hard to tell. It's all kind of collapsed. Okay. But based on what you remember, you would think that this would be it. Okay. It's got a recipe for Kyborg's mom's famous cornbread. What languages do you

speak, Bart? I speak Common Goblin Halfling. You do not understand the scroll. Could I at least see what language it's in? You believe it's written in Elven. I can read Elvish. I can read Elvish. I'm going to read it. I'm going to give the scroll to Kyborg.

Thank you. It is his parents, after all. That's true. Delvish. Let Gumgum read it. I'm going to give this girl to Kyborg. It is his parents, after all. That's true. If I ever find something from your parents, Gumgum, I'll give it to you. These two. Find something like their whereabouts. Their identity. It's a contract, Kyborg. It's an agreement between the Borgians

and Kristalina. It's an agreement to guard a map to an ancient artifact and the source. Does the contract also say no matter what, don't take the limbs off of the Borgians at any time and leave them as whole if you bury them with only part of their bodies? No matter what. Yeah.

I let the rest of the group know what it is. I read it out to them. Borgians and who? Crystallina, Kyborg's mother. Gotcha. So there is a map that was really important, but it was so important that Quadrin wanted it destroyed

because they don't want us to find what's on the map. But the Borgians and your mom thought it was important to keep. Assuming so, because it's probably something to do with

whatever can destroy Quadrin or maybe it's... I think he wanted it, didn't he? Is the map not the map that said Flats of Tabool? Yeah, but he burned it. After he read it. Yeah, he read it. So he has the information.

He got what he needed. I thought he was... I don't remember that. I thought he was hiding that information. So he has information and doesn't want anybody else to get it, so it's burnt, except that we know Flats of Tabool. Right. Yeah, and that it's protecting the source.

Yes. Which we know is part of me. It's what makes Optimus Prime be able to turn into the car. Your roll was pretty decent on your investigation. So I'll say you found something as well. You found an old box. I found the box. What's in it? you open it up and

you see it's some frayed pieces of twine that appear to be falling apart and uh some uh very roughly cut branches it looks like it's uh parts for a bow oh yeah that was my old bow that he encountered in the wasn't there also a dead bird in it is there a dead bird in it. Is there a dead bird in there? Oh, okay. So in the flashback in the dreamery, I think Gum Gum picked it up and threw it away. Yeah, but that... But of course, that wasn't reality. That was the dreamery.

Some serial killer behavior. Why did you guys do that to me? So, yeah, I mean, there's some bones in here in the box as well. Can I cast mending again to see if I can... Not the bird. The bird's done. That's not how mending works either. Could I fix the bow?

I can fix something up to about... It's basically a one by one foot cube. If I can fix breaks, tears. It's a cantrip, so I can cast it a bunch of times. Mending, mending, mending. Yeah. It reshapes a very crudely made bow, and it seems to, like, string it back

together, and, yeah, you have a small bow. I give it to Kaper. Nope, I give it to Gum Gum, Gumbo. I give it to Gumbo. I give it to Gumbo. Oh, wait, Gumbo. I thought you said Gum Gum. I thought so, too. I was like, I promise not to shoot any birds. Alright, he's so excited about it, I do give it to Gumbo. Can I give

your little bow to Gumbo? Yeah, no, I do. I mean, yeah. Alright, I do give it to Gumbo. Can I give your little bow to Gumbo? Yeah, no, I do. I mean, yeah. All right. This is for you, Gumbo. Or Gum-Gum. God, I've got to name my pet. Who are you giving it to?

I have to name my pet something different. Gum-Gum. All right. Just call him Bow. I give the bow and arrow to Gum-Gum. Make a dexterity check, Gum-Gum. Are you going to break it immediately? I'm going to break it.

I'm going to break my childhood bow. That's 10. It seems like when Mud hands you the bow, it almost like has a life of itself. Wow. And it like spins a bit in your hand and it seems like it's pulling. What? Pulling? Yeah.

Like what direction? North. Where am I in relation to GumGum? You're off to his left. Not to the north. Yeah. It's not pointing at you, Kyborg, but it seems like it's pointing in a direction.

Is he just pointing out into, like, the woods? Yes, as far as you can tell. We should probably follow that bow. This bow really wants to go north, or that way. And also, thank you for the bow, but I don't really know how to shoot a bow. Here you go, Kyborg. Maybe you could take this as an opportunity

to spend some time with Kyber. He could teach you. Oh, yeah. I have an old bow that I could help Gum-Gum learn. So does Gum-Gum. He has a brand new mended bow. Brand new, yeah. He just gave it to Kyber.

Well, let's for now, I mean, once we get back to the castle, the headquarters, you can go nuts with it. But for now, because it is some sort of magical thing, we should probably figure out what to... So who's holding it? I will take it from GumGum with the promise of giving it back at some point if it survives.

And then, yeah, I think we should follow it. Can I do real quick before we go? Can I pull up my boomboat wand and do magic awareness? Yes. Hmm, good call. How does that work? You just, like, open up your... You open up your action you open up your

awareness the presence of concentrated magic until the end of your next turn you know the location of any spell or magic item within 60 feet of you that isn't behind total cover when you sense the spell you learn which school magic belongs to yeah you open up your senses and there's trace bits of magic seemingly everywhere around you in the house in the yard leading off to the forest not necessarily strong magic anywhere but traces uh left all around and of course you know i'm sure what you're getting at yeah there is some on the the bow as well what school uh lots of enchantment some divination it's just all over i don't know why but i always picture this as like you holding a black light over like a hotel room

seeing like all the fluids that have been spilled everywhere. It's tech magic. This place is magical. It might be that my mom's spirit is guiding us or something like that. I don't know. Or it's protected magic land. Yeah.

Yeah. Maybe. Well, I think we should follow the bow. Yeah. Okay. And I assume since you're holding the bow, you're leading the way, Kyborg. Yes. For my own knowledge, I assume typically Gum-Gum would be behind you, then Mud, then Bart.

Is that normally like a marching order? Or for this time specifically? I'm fine with that. I think because the snow is just so thick that Bart should be riding on Gum-Gum's shoulder. Okay. Yeah. Bart leaps up. Hey.

The sun fades across the land and snowflakes begin to blanket the trees and grass. You make your way through the woodlands, and eventually you come upon a fallen tree bridging a gorge with a frozen river below. It appears the fallen tree is nearly cracked in half and is bowing at the center. Oh, so we need to use this to cross the river, or is this the tree that I recognize from my memory?

This is not the tree from your memory. This is just like crossing a frozen river below. And a bow is telling me to go cross it. To cross it. And you said the tree is bending over the river? Yeah, it looks like it's been here a long time, and it's not in great shape. Oh, so probably if we climb it, it'll break in half.

And that's it was mended. Tint, tint, tint, tint, tint. We got to cross this way, because the bow's telling me to go this way. So does anyone have any magical stuff that can help us cross this or should we just risk it? We literally have a boat. I also have something that only helps myself.

We have a boat. Well, the river below is frozen. Oh. Oh. Why don't you shoot an arrow across with a rope tied in and we hold on to that and cross the thing. That's a great idea. Can we hold on to that and cross the thing. That's a great idea.

Can we tell how frozen the river is? Like, could I throw a rock on it and see if it cracks? Yeah, but we can only use it once a day. No, just a random rock. Oh, any rock. Okay. Make an investigation check. However, I want you to do it at disadvantage because it's starting to get dark and snow falls, making it difficult to see.

All right. Well, I assume I won't know because one is an eight and one is a 22 yeah you drop the rock and you think you hear it skitter on the ice okay so it's probably okay yeah or if we want to be really curious i don't mean to be insensitive but if mud was able to turn into a flying creature and just cart us across one at a time possibly an option that won't kill us mud wants to save that spell okay yeah that makes sense uh all right well i heck it i'm gonna lead and i'm just gonna be walking very carefully you're gonna like very gingerly walk across the fallen log i think i'm gonna walk next to the log but use it as a well just so you know the river is like far

below you wouldn't be able to walk across the frozen river. There's a gorge that the tree has fallen across. Copy that. Okay. Yeah, that's why I was saying... Sorry, that's why I was saying you have disadvantage because it's kind of far. Gotcha. I thought it was just like a river that had like a tree. This is like there's a river at the bottom of the gorge and you all are trying to cross the gorge

on the tree. Gorgeous. Okay, well with my baby bow in one hand and uh mud's immovable rod which he can take back at any time in the other i'm gonna start walking across and in the event that i fall i'm gonna activate the immovable rod to catch myself okay make me a dexterity check to see how gingerly you can walk across on this okay here we go 16 16. yeah you're able to very carefully walk across the log and you're doing a good job of like balancing yourself not slipping to the side then right as you get over the center of the gorge the log snaps in half i knew it and falls into the

gorge below i activate immovable rod to catch myself make a dexterity saving throw hmm that's crit fail i got one You fall and you hit the frozen river below. Wait, how far down is it? You all were not sure. You told me kind of the outcome, I think. I don't know if we really resolved this, but is it too light to use lucky? Sure, you can use lucky. Normally, I would say no, but yeah,

go for it. And this time I got, wouldn't you guess it, another one. Wow! And then I'm gonna... Plus five. And then I'm gonna roll you are designed to fall and hurt yourself i'm gonna roll my i mean he's lucky again i'm gonna roll that again and this time i got a 22 okay much better the log snaps uh but through sheer luck you are able to activate your immovable rod quickly to keep you suspended seemingly defying gravity

in midair over the center of the gorge. Nailed it. You want to sing a song about it? I'm just dangling. I'm just kind of dangling there. Hey, K-Brig, you okay? Help! Help! How far away is he?

He's over the center of the gorge. We'll say he's about, how far is that? Let's say 20. So 20 and then it's another 20. It's 20 feet out in the middle. Then make a perception check with disadvantage, GumGum. Four. I got six and a four.

You can't really tell how far down it is because it's you know, it's it's shaded the sun's going down You think it's maybe 70 feet down 70 feet down and then I was asking how far like 20 feet about halfway across There's only like three feet drop. So kyborg is suspended midair. Yes halfway across this cavern Good real hard to hold on make a strength check. Oh across this cavern. Getting real hard to hold on. Make a strength check, Kyborg. Oh, good lord.

Are you sure you don't want to save him? I guess we could do this. 20. I could. I could save him. You're able to continue holding on. I could save him. If you wouldn't mind, you know, just hanging out. I feel like we can figure out a way. I could pull myself up on top of the rod

and then just sit on it like it's a broom handle. And it's too narrow. With a rope. I could do that but then either way I'm still going to be swinging and that's going to be a pretty drastic swing that I'll be hitting the side of a gorge. I could jump across this. It's only 40 feet. I could probably jump. Or we could just...

He's trying to save his spells. Doesn't someone have like a thing of jump? Yeah, that's what I'm saying. I think I could jump across. Could I actually try this? Really cold, but your palms are getting sweaty, Clydeborg. Can I cast Thorn Whip?

How far is he away? About 20 feet away. I can cast Thorn Whip. He said that like eight times. I'll say it eight more. You can't stop me. 20 feet away. My brain was thinking of how far he was falling.

I knew that was 70 feet, but I couldn't remember how far. I cast Thorn Whip and try to pull him back. I feel like this is going to hurt really bad. Probably. You create a long vine-like whip covered in thorns. Watch that. Okay, so make a melee spell attack against the target. Wait, what if it doesn't pass my AC and I...

You can elect to not move. I don't think I'm going anywhere. 19. Oh, yeah, that hits. So then if the attack hits, the creature takes 1d6 piercing damage. So go ahead and roll the damage. She's saving her life.

It's actually 2d6. 2d6. Did you do it? That's five. Five points of damage. Ow! And you pull Kyborg 10 feet closer to you. Wait, did you...

You'd have to unactivate the movable rod. I can unactivate it, I think. But I'm only getting pulled 10 feet closer, so I'm still... But you got a rope now. So if you got pulled 10 feet closer, that means you're only 10 feet down as you swing. All right, so then I'll swing then. Okay, yeah.

He pulls you 10 feet closer. I deactivated movable rod, but I still have it in my hand. Okay, you have the rod in your hand, and he pulls you, and you swing, and you slam against the side of the gorge. Yeah, that was going to happen. Taking two points of damage from slamming into the side of the gorge. So that he doesn't have to grab up the vine whip anymore,

because I worry he'd just get more damage holding on to this thorny thing. I pull him up. And I help pull as well. Thank you. And whenever Kaiborg puts his hand out. Do that gladiator. No, I grab the immovable rod. No, no, I grab his hand.

I grab his hand. Chris and I attacked it out the Gladiator thing, and he swiped from my hand. All right, so Kyborg's back. You all are on the same side of the gorge. All of you standing there again. I say, hey, guys that log uh wasn't structurally sound you're welcome how how much would it screw you guys over if i went across i mean how do you

want to get across could i cast dimension door i mean if you want to save your spell slots i could just jump across with the rope and then we just kind of army crawled across yes you can absolutely cast dimension door if you want to because i mean it's one of my fourth level slots, so maybe I should save it. It's 70 feet across, Gum Gum. Yeah. 40 feet across. 40 feet across, okay. You guys can't keep two units of measurement in your mind at the same time. It's 20 feet across and 10

feet down. Yeah, and I got my jump triples my jump, which would be 60 feet. Okay, you want to try that? Yeah, sure. And you have a rope. Should we hold on to one side as you jump? We should tie it somewhere. Yeah, I'll fasten it to a tree

if you want me to do a sleight of hand. Yeah, there's a decaying trunk on this side, presumably from which the log fell from. It's decaying. Can we find something a little bit more sturdy than that? Oh, yeah, there's also trees that are still alive. All right, tie it to an alive tree. I attach it to one of those guys.

You do a sleight of hand for the knot. Yeah, make me a sleight of hand to tie it. Eleven. Do you trust that? I'm going to take it again. It's not a good day of rolls for you. It sure isn't. Listen, I'm all shaken up from seeing dead family members.

Twenty-three. Okay. And almost being one yourself. And you're going to jump across, Gum-Gum? Yeah. So I'll take one into the rope. I smack Gum-Gum's butt. Okay. Air Gum-Gum. Bye-bye I'll take one into the rope. I smack Gum-Gum's butt. Okay.

Air Gum-Gum. Bye-bye. And I run and jump. Make an athletics check just for fun. Okay. And you can add D4. Oh, yeah, and I'm gonna... I have my own bump,

bolstering magic. I have my own bump. Gum-Gum keeps bumps with him, you know. Just when he needs a little extra speed. My bolstering magic. I'll have that too for 10 minutes. I can get a D3. And so I'm going to do athletics check.

19. Oh, yeah. You're able to jump easily across the gorge and you land safely on the other side with the rope. Can I look around and see if there's any other healthy trees or anything like that I could attach to? Yeah, make a perception check at disadvantage because again, it's kind of dark.

Well, I have night vision. Make disadvantage. Oh, night vision. Dark vision, yeah. Zero. But it doesn't matter in the end anyway. He rolled a one and he's got a negative one as perception. Gum Gum, it's pitch black on this side of the gorge. You can't see anything like magically pitch black you think so well then can i light a torch yeah you uh light

a torch but it's still pitch black guys it's magically black okay i do i guess would my magic awareness work if it's in that context or it's just black yeah i believe so because it's not like anything you visually see it's like you open I believe so, because it's not like anything you visually see. It's like you open your sense of magic. Can I do that? Yeah. You open up your senses to feel the magic around you, and you don't feel anything.

I should take the immovable rod with me. You realize when you jump, your hat fell, and it's covering your eyes. Oh, no. Oh, my goodness. Wait, really? Yeah. You rolled a zero on the perception. Something had to have gone wrong. It's pretty funny. your eyes. Oh no. Wait, really? Yeah.

You rolled a zero on the perception. Something had to have gone wrong. That's pretty funny. Magic hat that makes everything black and dark. You can see now. Yeah, there's a tree you can tie the rope to. I'm going to tie the rope to a tree and then hold

onto the other end, use my weight and strength to brace it. Okay. Way to go. Is it now just tied onto two trees though? Yeah. Just, you know.

Yeah. But it's like two bow ties though. All right. How's everyone else going to get across now? I will like to go first and I can do that thing where it's, it's my hands, but it's also my legs are wrapped around it. Oh yeah.

Okay. Like the commando climb or whatever. Yeah, let's just say make a, let's call it an athletics check. Oh, God, 25. Oh, yeah, easily. You pull yourself over to a super speed and you're on the other side with Gum Gum. Thank you, Cord. Mud and Bart.

Go ahead, Bart. I'll try skittering across the rope as well, the same way Kyborg did. Okay. Ooh, it's a nine. Yeah, you get like halfway through and make the mistake of looking down and uh you become pretty scared and you freeze in place the number of spells that have been used for this one gorge for us to get across i think rivals how many spells we used against paralyte you would think that this was a door the way this is super challenging

bart what's going on? Don't be scared. Gum, gum, sing me a song. Make me feel better. Oh, Bart is my best friend, and we're together till the end. I won't let you down, so you don't go down. Make another athletics check, Bart. She falls to her death. I'm lucky I could do it again. Okay, athletics check, Bart. She falls to her death. I'm lucky I can do it again.

Okay, that was a one. This episode has to have the most ones we have rolled. 19. Okay, yeah, the song calms your heart and you're able to regain your confidence and quickly scamper across the rope. And then I run and give him a hug.

You saved me, Gum Gum. You and you alone. You saved me, Gum-Gum. You and you alone. You saved me too. Who saved who? Mud, how are you getting across? I'm scared to just use this rope. What? Just use the rope. We've all done it. I know. You can always just transform into some sort of pixie or something.

I could. I could turn it. I'm going to try it. Could I cast Bardic Inspiration on Mud, a creature within 60 feet, it says. Yeah. Gives me a plus what, Des? A D8. D8. Powerful.

Does it mean you have to say or sing something to him to inspire him? Any creature that can hear you. So you just shout some words of encouragement at him. I will. Let's hear him. Don't be a sissy. Hey, Mud. Yeah.. Let's hear him. Don't be a sissy. Hey, Mud. Yeah?

We miss you, buddy. Get your butt across here. Right? Mud goes to grab the rope and is definitely ready to think of any animal he needs to in order to not fall should that become necessary. It is turning into an animal,

turning into an animal, turning into an owl, is like second nature to him. Okay, so go ahead and make an athletics check to see if you're able to cross this rope successfully. I'm going to roll my one. It's a false eight. That's a 15 plus a D8. That's 16.

Oh, that's good. Yeah, you're able to get across no problem as well. So you all arrive safely on the other side of the river gorge, but now the wintry woods are darkened by a starless night sky with thick clouds. Has anyone got their hat on their head? Everyone's hat. If anyone's wearing a hat, it is on their head, but not covering their eyes. You make your way further into the labyrinth of conifers, one after another, looking all the same until something catches your eye.

There's an unusual tree near a knoll. Is it fallen? Make a perception check for me. Okay. 23. You remember this. You just saw this tree. This was the tree you were sitting in

during your recent memory. Wow. Before you heard the sound. Guys, smile, keep our elf tree. Wow. I bet there's cookies still in here. Why would your bow be pointing us towards this tree? I don't know.

Let's find out. I want to go into the hole. Yeah, you get in there, and the clouds are beginning to shift overhead, and slivers of moonbeam occasionally cascade through the trees. They don't seem to be white. What color are they? They're not red, are they? They're red.

As you're looking around at this unusual knoll, light begins to pour onto the hill, and your vision becomes clearer, but everything seems to be turning red. Your feet shift beneath you and you almost fall over. The ground vibrates louder and louder. Thump thump. Thump thump. Just beyond the knoll, a massive monolith emerges from the ground covered in pulsing veins.

Thump thump. A peculiar warmth falls over you like a cozy blanket. Your weary muscles and bones feel a soothing relief. Your warmth falls over you like a cozy blanket. Your weary muscles and bones feel a soothing relief. Your eyes adjust to the redness all around you, and you notice there are two small cavities side by side in the center of the pulsing monolith. Like openings?

Little cavities, yeah. Arm-sized cavities? Like, how big are they? It seems like they're shaped like hands. Shall we? I mean, I have one of the keys, but I know where the other one is, and it's currently in the ground. Should we go?

Wait, you think that it's the arms of the golem? I feel like it could be. Probably, if it's two potentially hands. Do you want to see what happens if you put one of the hands in? Do I even want to do this? I mean, it's a big creepy, veiny rock. You feel a sense of warmth and comfort. Yeah, like the dark side

or something. I don't know, man. I don't know. Team, what do you think we should do? Mutt just shoves him forward a little bit. He's like, go do something. Thump, thump. Thump, thump. I perceive to see what is going on here. I'm very reluctant.

Can he perceive to see he's about to be screwed over by you? Before you go, in case you die, where did you bury this thing? Make a perception check. 13. Before you die. You feel safe here. All right. Well, I feel safe in my little baby bows telling me to do it. So The monolith vibrates and pulses faster and faster Thump-thump thump-thump the stone melts away into a liquid form and expands into a sheet of red

Climbing higher and wider and then it washes over form and expands into a sheet of red, climbing higher and wider. And then it washes over all of you like a flood of blood. That's the end of this episode. Gross! What does it all mean? You're going to have to find out next week, next time. Will there be a door? Will there be a gorge?

Will there be a door that leads to a gorge? There's only one way to find out. Is it a torge? How many spells will we use to cross a bridge? Alright, thanks for listening everybody. We'll be back next time. Thank you. Bye. Thank you.