Tales from the Stinky Dragon - Armageddon - Ep. 57 - May the Source Be With You

Episode Date: July 20, 2022

The new Infinights enter the mystifying Source Monolith and come face to face with puzzling paradoxes that challenge them to their very core.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is a Rooster Teeth Production. Good day to all you Emerald Dragons. Soar on into the Stinky Dragons. Sip on our latest libation, the Lizard of Oz. It's a mixture of Ember Midori, volcanic vodka, illusionary lemon and lime juice, psionic soda, garnished with an invisible lemon wheel. One sip of this draconic dram, you'll be clicking your heels all the way home. Previously, our adventurers were exiting Kyborg's memories, but not before a last-minute recollection of how he got his arm. Next, they redecorated their rooms at Infinite HQ and were gifted new gadgetry from Dr. Ahem.

Finally, they flew their way out of Boulderay toward the Flats of Tabool. They made a pit stop at Present Day Everwinter and uncovered a mysterious monolith. Claw cold one, let's resume our noxious narrative. The Blood Moon casts a veil of red across the gnoll including the massive monolith. The standing stone pulses before you with two small cavities. Kyborg places his hands inside. Thump, thump. Thump, thump. The monolith vibrates and pulses faster and faster.

Thump, thump. Nice. Thump, thump. Kickfuck. The stone melts away into liquid form and expands into a sheet of red, climbing higher and wider, and then it washes over all of you like a flood of blood. An unfamiliar voice fills your head. Doubt is not your enemy, nor certitude your friend.

Search your hearts in every way, but do not play pretend. To find the ruby-colored tear, burn not one bridge you see, but be warned, not every path will be your cup of tea. to find the ruby-colored tear. Burn not one bridge you see, but be warned, not every path will be your cup of tea. Okay, John's been staring at me. It is so clear he does not remember what happened last episode. No, no, no, no, no.

I remember this. That was my concentration phase of trying to listen to the poem. That's his game phase. Also, yeah, I feel like it's someone writing down the details of this poem because I feel like there's something about a bridge being burned and other paths.

That would have been really good to write down, right? Wouldn't it? Do you want to repeat that one more time? My audio went out for a second there. Don't worry, guys. I was writing it all down. Do you know what that reminded me of? It might not be a moment a lot of

people remember but in ai it's when robin williams is playing that uh the movie ai yeah okay it's the it's the moment where they're in that that mr know-it-all thing robin williams is doing the voice of that albert einstein like hologram and they're trying to figure out an answer and they finally trigger him saying a poem and so robin williams like then goes out of this like comedic voice and goes to a very somber like serious voice and recites a poem like that. It made me cry. It made me sad to remember that. Robin Williams was an AI? He was a voice

where they finally went to like talk about Wizard of Oz. They went to like what the Emerald City was essentially in that movie and then they went to this like vending machine kind of thing which was a hologram. Oh yeah. To ask questions and they only had enough credits for like three questions. I about that i thought you were talking about bicentennial man i did too look at the poster you don't get to make fun of bicentennial man

in my presence i like that okay all right all right we'll do it behind his back yeah do it behind my back that's fine uh i do plenty of stuff behind your back so. So it was a ruby and it's not your cup of tea. Everyone should roll a perception check. There was bridge burning. I think it's like, I remember something about ruby tear burning a bridge. I hit the wrong button. And not every path will be something about tea. Not every path will be a cup of tea.

Okay. Just take the 15 plus 8, 23. Mud. Mud. 14. You talking about mud or gum gum? Mud. Yeah, I said it out loud. I hit the 15 plus eight. 23. Mud. Mud. 14. You're talking about mud or gum gum? Mud. Yeah.

I said it out loud. I hit the wrong button. 10. But I'm not re-rolling. I'm just going to take the 15 and add my modifier. I was saying muddy, but I was looking at Chris. I know. You were looking at Chris.

Chris always rolls the wrong thing. You were saying my name, but you were mad at Chris. Okay. So mud is actually a 16. No no 23 i rolled a 15 i have a plus 8 modifier to persuasion it's a 23 persuasion perception perception sorry i rolled persuasion i meant to roll perception so mud has a perception check of 23 gum gum has a perception check of 16 kyborg has a perception check of 14 and bart has a perception check of 16. Kyborg has a perception check of 14. And Bart has a perception check of 10. Yeah, I'm still like rubbing my eyes.

Sleepy Barty boy. Still waking up. That's like a, you rolled like a two or something. So wait, did we just get covered in blood? Or just a red hue kind of covered us? Bart was like trying to, or Bart was trying to like sample that beat that the thing was making. Because it was like, thump, thump, thump, thump. She's like, I'm going to use this on a song.

Well, Bart and Kyborg. I like your impression of me, by the way. It's like nerdy musician. It's like you got a little prog rock band. You're like programming your synth. Bart and Kyborg, from your perception, you appear to be standing at the crossroads of a four-way bridge suspended over a deep chasm of red vapor. Beyond that, it's really too hazy to make anything out. It's just me and Bart there.

Oh, no, you're all there, but this is what you see. Okay, okay. Gum-Gum, you're able to peer past the red vapor, and in each direction beyond the four bridge paths is a door. Four doors in total. And Mud, with your eagly, bad rolling eyes, you can tell it looks like there's something written on a door. Four doors in total. And Mud, with your eagly, bad rolling eyes, you can tell it looks like there's something written on each door. What language is it? You can't tell from the distance you are. You can just see

something inscribed on each of the doors. Right. There's something on each of the doors. Who wants to walk across these bridges and see what's written on them? I think we're supposed to burn the bridges. No, we're not supposed to. It said, the poem said the exact opposite of that. Do not burn the bridges. No, we're not supposed to. The poem said the exact opposite of that. Do not burn the bridges.

Do not burn. It said do not. We need to test if that red vapor is bad, so if we fall into it, it will die. So, Mud pushes Guy. No, no. I was going to ask for gumbo. No, no, no, no.

Just toss a little gumbo in your red stew? We could try to cross, and then, like, one person crosses, and then all of us have a rope that we're holding on to. We're like the crossroads of the bridges, right? Yes, you are, like, in the middle, and it's like a plus sign. There's, like, a bridge in each cardinal direction, and at the end, a door. All right, so four. Yeah, there's four of them.

We're going to race to each door. Oh, all of us are going to just split up. Yeah. Yeah. You okay with that? I'll take left. Uh, yeah. Let's... I actually am kind of down with that. Really? Yeah. You know, let's like... This thing said... I should be saying this in character.

The poem said that doubt is... Don't be afraid of it. Don't be afraid. Doubt is not your enemy. Yeah, so let's actually be a little reckless and let's go and do something chaotic. And where's the tea? And where's the water tea?

And there was something about searching our hearts. So is there a role for searching my heart? A role for surgery. I don't see it in your inventory. You fall down and you're dead. Mutt starts walking to the north. I start walking to the west. I get to go east.

Hold on, let me write this down. I say east, but I go south. Let me write this down. I guess I'll go east. So, Kyborg, you said west. Mudd, you said north. Bart is east. And Gum-Gum, you said West. Mud, you said North. Bart is East. And GumGum, you're going West, but you said you're going East.

No, he's going South, but I said East. Okay, that's right. I have a feeling that West is going to be the correct one because this is like Kyborg's storyline, right? Left. So, like, there might be something there about going Left. West isn't always Left, depending on where you're facing. Oh, that's true. That's true.

I'll tell you what. Everyone, just um this isn't combat or anything just everyone roll initiative for me just so we can just so i can go through you in order because y'all are splitting up here he just said this isn't combat you're like all right i'm only gonna roll it once instead of 18 18 22 and an eight i think gum gum has better decks okay just check it's just right there we roll the same but i I'm pretty sure both of you two have better decks in string. Yep. All right. So the order we're going to do is Kyborg, Gum Gum, Mud, Bart.

Cool. So Kyborg, you were heading west, correct? Yes. All right. You walk west across the bridge, and it's kind of scary. You know, there's this red mist enveloping everywhere. But it's not like the bridge is very rickety or anything. But you cross it.

And when you get to the western edge of the bridge, there's a door. Okay. Do it. Open it up. What's it say, Kuyberg? What's your door say? Oh, I perceive what the door says because there's a symbol on it according to what you were saying earlier. Yeah, uh, you look at the door

and you're able to read it. It reads, you walk the path of others first, set foot in, prepared to thirst. Walk the path that something first I'm thirsty. Uh, I gotta drink. Kyborg sets up some thirst

traps. Hey, Ky Kyborg what did it say Since you're far away You are like the person Thirst Thirst That's all you get Guys I think Kyborg's having a stroke Should we all just see what

If you want you can defer to the next person And I'll go down to the next person or you can keep going Maybe Maybe the poems are relevant to who the person is and who is supposed to be opening the door. So maybe we should get all of the poems. Micah, I hate you. I don't want to see those. You put that mask on because I don't want to see your stupid little grin.

You know, I know I'm wrong now. Okay, but who's Micah? I don't see anybody else here. I'm hallucinating. Okay, but who's Micah? I don't see anybody else here. I'm hallucinating. I would say I defer to somebody else, and I want to hear the other poems. Okay, next on the initiative order. A rare instance of not taking action to wait for more information. I'll kick the door down.

You want me to? I'm just calling out growth. The next person on the initiative list is Gum Gum, who went to the south. Let me try and read it, if I can. Yeah, you are able to read it, and it says... Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on. I'm ready with my keyboard. Blaine's standing up and walking towards Gus.

What are you doing? Go ahead. He's recording you. You don't have to record it. You can ask me to reread it, because you're looking at it. Yeah, this isn't a voice. This is literally on the door. So, Gum-Gum, your door says you walk the path of free-for-all.

Enter now and have a ball. Oh. I can hear the sounds of Gum-Gum typing on his keyboard that apparently he's got in his inventory. What was... Kyber, what did yours say again? I walk the path of others first. Of others first.

Don't be afraid of thirst. Something thirst. I think we probably have to enter. You're right, Barbara. He could reread it. I read my door once again. We go back to Kyborg now. You walk the path of others first. set foot in, prepare to thirst. Okay.

So your door said show feet. Got it. Anyway, it is Gum Gum's turn right now. We might need to enter these in a certain order because yours suggests everyone has to enter theirs first. So you would go last. And then mine says I walk the path past a free-for-all enter now and have a ball. Yours has the number four in it. I want to also point out that the beginning poem said something about

not every path will be your cup of tea, and that one referenced thirst. Just something you can learn. Okay, I have a theory. I'm not going to present it yet because it could be foolish. Well, thanks for letting us know. Okay, my theory. No, no, no. It's a D&D thing.

He's preparing his theory. My theory is that maybe these take us to places we've already been to. So maybe I have prepare for thirst. That could be a desert. That could be pious paths. Go to a ball. I guess we went to that stupid centennial thing. What was it called?

It was the Valrathian. Again, it's a half big theory. So we need to hear the other poems. What was it? It was like the. My thing. The moon thing. Says I should go have fun.

Uh, alright. Uh, Gum-Gum's door goes to a bounce house. Uh, can I read mine? Gum-Gum, are you done? Do you want to defer to the next person, or... I can defer unless we're jumping in. I don't know. What does Gum-Gum do? Hold! Hold, Gum-Gum! Hold! Okay, I'll hold. What do you want me to hold?

Is there railing? Well, are we moving on? Yeah, I was third, right? Mud, you are next, and you went to the northern door. You cross the bridge, and you walk across, and similarly to the other ones, there is a door here, and there is something inscribed on it. I read it.

Okay. Written on this northern door is, you walk the path of neither nor at risk you enter through this door neither nor you walk the risk of neither nor walk the path of neither nor yeah and then what was the last thing i read it again at risk you enter through this door god that's not a good one my door is bad can someone else give me their door? Before we hear bars, this makes so much more sense why Gus was like giddy like a little like goblin man like Hey my riddles three! Gus turned to Jester and was like I'm so excited about tomorrow. Cause your name is door!

Riddle two! I mean they did say doubt is not our enemy, nor certitude our friend. So this is kind of like, this might be, if it's neither nor, it's kind of like a wishy-washy thing. So there's, what you're saying is there's candy on the other side of my door. Could be. Yeah, maybe. Bart, what's your door say? All right. I walk up to my door and I look at it with my beady little eyes.

With your little Bart eyes. Bart heads to the east, which is the final door remaining. You walk up to the door and you read it. And your door says, you walk the path of neither nor at risk you enter through this door. Wait, that's... Hey. This sounds familiar. So north and east had the same inscription?

Seems like it. Sounds like they did. Could I... Wait, wait, wait, wait. Could I... Wait, it's Bart's turn. I know, sorry, sorry. Actually, I wanted to talk to Bart

Yeah What did yours say exactly again? You want to reread it, Bart? You walk the path of neither nor At risk you enter through this door And what did mine say? Uh, which direction did you go? North

North You walk the path of neither nor At risk you enter through this door Was there any difference in that? Is it spelled right? I don't know, I can't see it. Is it spelled the same? Are we able to see if, like...

Would you all read, like, letter by letter to each other? Sure. Yeah. They are exactly the same. Okay, okay, okay. Okay, okay. Sorry, the pause.

I had to double check. He was looking. Bart, Bart. Hey. Yeah. Twinsies. They're the same. I have a feeling

maybe neither of our doors is the correct one if we're only looking for maybe one door. Mine says it passed the free roll, and I'm going to hear now and have a ball. I got to get this ball, guys. Can I get the ball? Well, it's still Bart's turn until Bart's the first,

then it would go to Kyborg. I'm just trying to think through this riddle. Search your hearts. Something of a ruby-colored tear. Burn not one bridge, you see. And not every path will be your cup of tea. I feel like we've got to just go through one of the doors. I don't feel like any

of these doors have riddles that are telling us exactly what to do. Also, hey, hey, hey. There's nothing saying that all of us have to enter one door individually. There is. The DM is saying initiative order. I just did it because otherwise it would just be chaos. Right now, the party is split. We decided that, oh, there's four doors, there's four

of us. That means we all have to go to our own individual door. That's not the case. If we look at it, you walk the path, free for all, enter now and have a ball. We could go into that one, all of us collectively, and see what's in there. There was something in the poem about not playing pretend, and do we think, like, a ball is basically like us playing pretend? It says have a ball. It's just like have a good time. But yeah, the poem about not playing pretend and do we think like a ball is basically like us playing pretend it says have a ball let's just like have a good time but yeah the poem at the

beginning said do not play pretend you know what i think we should go through each of our doors i think we go through gum gums first do we maybe want like one at a time i can go through it and then if you hear me scream but we don't know if it's gonna be a scream of joy or scream of fear uh i think mine should be first and then yours last because it says... Yeah, and then I'm not sure about y'all's. I think... Wait, wait, wait. You're saying yours and y'all's?

Sorry. Just to specify. As for Blaine, I think Kyborg's door should be last. We should have these conversations in character. Well, I'm halfway through this. Gum Gum's should be first and then Bart and Mudge should be... I don't know when. I feel at least Bart and I should go through our doors at the same time. Have we confirmed

that we're just looking for one right door? No, we have no idea what we're doing right now. Okay, there wasn't anything said at the beginning. Wait, what did you say from the beginning? I was just going to ask if there was something said at the beginning of like, we're looking for one path or one door or like one solution. It said don't burn of like, we're looking for one path or one door or like one solution.

It said, don't burn any bridges. So I think it was confirming the poem was saying like, go through them all. I thought it said, don't be afraid to burn bridges. No, it said, burn not one bridge you see. Yeah. So they're all valid. Don't be afraid to die.

Cyborg is frustrated, raises his story, says, prepare to meet Kelly in hell. It's a typical Doom reference. Yeah, I was going to say, I was waiting for the indiana jones references um we're still bart's turn okay what you gonna do uh is there any like perception i could do if like i feel anything from this door or like oh i don't know like you're trying to like what do you mean like listen at it or like what's your goal here yeah could i like listen at the door and also

touch it to see if like there's any temperature or anything like that? Yeah, we'll call that an investigation check. Okay. Go ahead and make one of those for me. Investigation, sweet, 21. The door doesn't seem, I mean, the whole area you're in

seems kind of otherworldly to begin with. So it's hard to tell what's normal and what's not normal. That being said, the door doesn't seem like it's emitting any heat or cold, and you can't hear anything through it. Okay. I also love how you gave us a puzzle with doors just to really slap us in the face. That's why I've been excited for today's recordings. I knew it.

Just in case, could I cast Motivational Speech to give us all some temp HP? Yeah, I don't see why not. It's just an ability, isn't it? It's a spell. It's an enchantment. It's a third level spell. It takes you a minute to cast it, which isn't the end of the world. It just takes a little while.

I'll hold off on it for now, then. And that'll be the end of my turn. I really think like nothing about any of the poems or what Gus has said has led us to believe that we need to go into these doors individually. So I do feel strongly that we try out gum gums all together now. Okay. I'm sorry, Bart. Did you say that was the end of your turn? Yes, I did. Okay.

So yeah, it is Kibork's turn. I'm just trying to make sure. No, no, no. Thank you. Yeah, yeah. For the sake of actually doing something, let's go to Gum Gums. Okay, let's go. All right, go to Gum Gums.

Yes. All right, so, Kyborg, you defer. You're done with your turn, and it's now Gum Gums' turn. Is that correct? In my action, I walk to Gum Gums' door. So, okay, Kyborg is no longer at the western door, and you walk to the southern door. Yes. Yes.

Is that correct? Okay, so I have, like, which direction you all are written down, so I need to keep track of that. So, Kyborg and Gum Gum are now at the southern door, and it is now Gum-Gum's turn. You guys want to come to this door? Yeah, I come to the door, and I smack Gum-Gum on the butt. Yeah.

Bart, are you joining them as well in the southern door? Yeah, sure, why not? Okay, so everyone's at the southern door. We don't have to be in turns anymore, now that you're all at the same door. Okay. I'm calling it right now. This is the bad door.

Going in the door. All right, nothing about the other ones indicates good door so like we're just taking our best shot here but open it open it open it oh no is that what the door is you're all we were all over the place i got so many windows open it takes me a second to get to the correct one wait to get this ball okay you open the southern door and all of you suddenly feel like you're in the sense of free fall. Everyone make a dexterity saving throw. Oh, man. Am I still a bat?

No. When the red washed over you, you became back to normal mud mode. I rolled a one, so I'm going to roll a lucky and roll again. You have a guidance, Gum-Gum. You also rolled a dexterity check instead of a save, Kyborg. That's just silly. I have 10. You have guidance.

Oh. Mine's 14. Oh, yeah. 24. does that mean i roll a what uh d4 that's a 16 my friend that's a 14 oh it's a good d4 did a check instead of a save mud yeah uh mud you did a check instead of a safe i was stupid is my save the same save same same okay so just to, we have kind of all over the place. Everyone read me what your save is. I can't look at all that. 14 for Bart. Rolled a one, rolled a lucky.

Now it's 24. 14. All right. Bart and Gum Gum, each of you impact something, taking a total of 10 points of falling damage. Ouch. Mud and Kyborg, you managed to land just fine. Beat down, absorb the impact. Superhero, you ground pound. Ouch. Mud and Kaibor, you managed to land just fine. Beat down, absorb the impact.

Superhero. Yeah, you ground pound. Everyone looks around and you see that you've fallen out of the ceiling of a spacious tavern. Inside of the tavern, it seems like it's pretty packed

and it's kind of run down and there is a huge like bar fight taking place. Could we see who is participating in the bar fight if we recognize anyone here uh yeah make a perception check i also want to see if like this is a memory or something so can i also roll a perception yeah i have an eight bar you're normally very

perceptive uh not so well today 18 because i rolled a two that's a nat 20 for 19 total 10 none of you recognize anybody in the brawl. It just seems like it's a free-for-all of various humanoids. No one that seems familiar. Mud and Gum Gum, you notice that there's a barkeep behind the bar close to you seemingly nonplussed about the

fight that's going on. He says, Felicitations and welcome to Sting Dragon, y'all! Can I go to him and be like, Hey, why is everyone fighting? Can I join? The barkeep is cleaning a glass and says, Help yourself. That was a familiar voice.

That was a mistake. Let me redo it. The barkeep's cleaning a glass and says, Yeah, help yourself. Why is everyone fighting? I don't recognize him anymore. Who is this man? I don't know him. The barkeep says that. Sometimes fighters gotta fight. I agree with that.

Uh, strange question. Where are we? Make a perception check, Mudd. Another one? You can't just ask that to the barkeeper, right? That's only a 10. In front of your eyes, it seems like the barkeep changes form.

Like, while you were blinking, while your eyes were closing that fraction of a second, it went from a humanoid-looking barkeep to like a lizard person now. And now he says, welcome to the state of the dragon. And says, had a few too many, did you? I think I did, even though I'm sober. Maybe not enough. Is there a door? Oh, that's a really good question. Now that you mention it, you look around, you see there are no doors to this tavern. So this is a sealed room. Yes. It's pretty big though though like it's a huge tavern there's a loft overhead but no exits no doors no windows no yeah there's a loft overhead there's a band up there

playing a band up there do you think we have to do something in this situation to get out of the room probably like complete a task of some sort maybe is there Is there... The barkeep says, can I get you something? Do you have any balls? What? I know that's a weird question, but like anything like spherical shaped? Bart, while you're talking, you know, you also are looking at the barkeep and the barkeep seems to transform

to a halfling in front of your eyes and says, balls? No, I don't know if I know that drink. What's in that? I mean, you probably don't want to swallow it, if I'm being honest. Can I try something? Yeah, yeah. I approach the bartender and I say, what day is it?

The date? What year? Stronger reference. It sounds like a Macho Man Randy Savage reference. I bet he's going to transform into an elf. Oh, yeah. I did that intentionally. So you go up and you actually do ask that?

Oh, yeah, absolutely. The barkeep does not transform. It's still a halfling. elf oh yeah i did that intentionally oh so you go up and you actually do ask that yeah absolutely yeah the barkeep does not transform it's still a halfling okay and looks at you and says days years you need another drink oh we're in hell wait can i cast detect magic okay yeah you cast detect magic you open up you know your magical senses to see what's around you and it seems like everything is glowing with magic in here the brawl seems to be getting more and more violent. There's like more people jumping in and it's just like growing. And it seems like it's not even staying in one place.

Just like a mass of people writhing around, throwing bottles, picking up chairs, smashing them into each other. Could I join the fight? Sure. How do you want to do that? I don't know. I'm just trying to think of the phrase. It was, you walk the path of free-for-all enter now and have a ball so i'm

trying to think if it's like we're supposed to enter the free-for-all maybe we just are supposed to have fun yeah yeah so how do you want to do that bart like what in your mind how would bart jump into a tavern brawl i think he would stand up on the counter of the of the bar and like jump into the top of the fight he'd flying squirrel it is what he would do. Yeah, flying squirrel into the top. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, go ahead and...

I'm going to hurt myself, aren't I? Make like an attack roll. We'll call it, right? Like you're jumping into a fight. Like unharmed attack? That's your way. Let's roll a d20 and we'll add, we'll say dex because you're jumping in.

We're adding dex? Yeah. So that would be seven plus seven. So 17. 17. Yeah. Bart jumps in. Do you do like a a do you like lead with an elbow or how how do you i lead with both elbows bart jumps in elbows first into the top of a uh this tavern brawl and yeah you connect with you don't know who but you connect with someone's uh skull and you're in you're in the midst of it

you're now in the middle of a tavern fight come Come at me, bros. What's your AC part? 15. 15, okay, great. I want to pick up a chair and slam it on the closest big guy. Okay. I want to find the biggest guy in the bar. I want to slam a chair across his back. Yeah, make an unarmed attack roll.

18. 18, yeah. You find the biggest participant in the tavern brawl that you can find. It's a giant orc who's pummeling a small human, and you break a chair over his back and uh he groans out in pain can i use jump to get highs up and then curl up into a ball and you'll get evil yeah do you want to jump up as high as you can to fall down or do you want to like jump up to the loft and then jump off of the loft yeah gum, Gum-Gum jumps up to the loft, startling

the band who's playing music up there. They stop temporarily. Keep going. They start playing again, and then Gum-Gum yells cannonball and jumps off into the tavern brawl. Roll an arm strike as well, Gum-Gum. I guess I could rage.

I'm also not sure this is what we're supposed to do. It's D&D. You can do whatever you want to do. This is what I wanted supposed to do so if you guys want to D&D you can do whatever you want I'm all for this. Okay It looks like there's not a lot of consequences in this room. So why not the poem did say do not play pretend A lot of umph into that chair break like I spine wild magic Yeah You're surrounded by a multi-kill protective protective light. You gain a plus one bonus AC

and all allies also gain one with a ten feet. Nice. So everyone gets plus one AC? Yeah. Oh, that's good. Perfect. Cannonball. You cannonball. What kind of damage would that do? Roll a d6 for me. That's butt damage. That's a three plus two for my rage. Yeah. Five. Yeah. So you

cannonball down and yeah, there's another lizard-like humanoid in the tavern brawl and you land straight on their head and, you know, knock them unconscious as you fall to the ground with your cannonball. All right, Mud. Mud turns to the barkeep, pulls up a stool, puts Gumbo on another stool next to him and orders, could I have one coffee and a milk for my friend? You got it. Two drinks coming up. The barkeep transforms back to like a human. I don't. It's a free for all.

Mud gets to do what Mud feels like doing. Mud doesn't feel like fighting a bunch of people. Sparge that coffee on that dude's head. Do it. I'm not saying you gotta. This is character. I'm having a lovely beverage with my little badger. Gum Gum, do you want to like drag Mud into the fight? You don't want to start this.

The barkeep gets to work. I will burn two drinks. The barkeep puts two drinks in front of you. What did you order? Coffee and a milk, wasn't it? The barkeep puts two drinks in front of you. Can someone Google after listening to this episode if badgers can drink milk?

They're strange looking drinks in front of you. You're not sure that it's coffee and milk. Is it badger's milk? Can I sniff it? Yeah, you sniff your drink and it doesn't smell like any coffee you've ever had before. I take a

trepidatious sip. You take a small sip of your drink and you begin floating up off out of your bar stool. Are we in Willy Wonka? What are we doing? According to Brendan, milk is generally okay for badgers, but harmful for hedgehogs. So it's a good thing you don't have a hedgehog. Which I'm for standing.

How much? Just kind of just floating there? An inch or two off of a... What about Gumbo? Gumbo takes a sip of his milk. Gumbo takes a sip of his and he, you know, opens and closes his mouth a little bit and turns around and looks. And you see he's looking at someone else in the bar and then that person falls over. What the hell is going on here?

One of the other poems said you set foot in prepare for thirst. So I don't know if that's relevant to this. So now the three of them are fighting. I'm having a bev. Has anything changed? Anything happening? No. I mean, the fight's going on seemingly growing the band's still playing the bar keeps cleaning glasses and serving drinks to you and gumbo what the heck do we do come on in the water is great just punch someone anybody punch me Anybody. Punch me. No, I don't want to.

Is there anything else that we're able to do in here? Are there any other activities to partake in this bar? Hey, Bart. Why don't you show the band how to really play? Oh, hell yeah. I could throw a bar. Bart scuttles out from beneath the

fight. Yeah, like a picture you're on your stomach crawling out from under this huge fight at the very bottom. And he is completely unscathed as well. Yes. He's just been kind of like throwing punches at people's crotches and stuff like that. Since he's so little. And then he goes up to the band and asks if he could join in on their musical extravaganza. Yeah, they're up in the little loft.

So, you know, you pull yourself out from the brawl, walk up some stairs, and head up to the loft that Gum-Gum had jumped off of. That's where the band is. And yeah, they say you're more than welcome to join in. Alright, Bart pulls out his lute and starts strumming along. He already is immediately picking up on the song that they're

playing, even though he's never heard it before. Yeah, Bart's pretty good. Make a performance check, Bart. Oh, you got it. So you're playing along with them. You said you're picking up on the song? Oh're playing, even though he's never heard it before. Bart's pretty good. Make a performance check, Bart. Oh, you got it. So you're playing like along with them. You said you're picking up on the song? Oh yeah, Nat 20 plus nine, 29. Ooh, yeah. You kind of know this song. You've heard this before maybe,

or like a version of it. Nothing changes. Okay, cool. Am I noticing anything weird happening? Weird? Well, weird's kind of like subjective, right? Nothing new or nothing different seems to be happening. Can I chug a beer?

I'm just gonna chug a beer. I'm just going to chug a beer. Barkeep, I want a beer. All right. Yeah, Barkeep just coming right up, gets to work, and pours a drink, and then slides it along the bar over to you. Yeah, and I do the cool catch without looking, and I drink it. And you take a big old chug of it. Yes.

You take a long drink of the beer. You slam your glass down, and you look around, and there's multiple copies of you standing next to you. This is the coolest bar ever. I love this place. Kyborgs! Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. You have to layer this all over it.

Yes, what's up? There's three additional Kyborgs for a total of four. You guys want to play in the fight? Sure thing! You have to layer all those on top of each other. I just want all four of them. And then I go back into the fight.

Okay, yeah. Kyborgs dive back in to the fight with reckless abandon. You know that thing where it's like the row of ladies doing the... The cam cam? The kick line. Yeah, we're doing it. I'm in a kick line with myself, three clones of myself, and we're just kicking people in the heads. And I run up and say, Hey, kyborgs! The da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da no idea what we're doing in here. I think that's the point. We could try and fight with us. What if you were supposed to fight with us? Uh, can I take a sip of Gum Gum's

milk? Of Gumbo's milk. Okay, I was very curious, like, who could Gum Gum? Uh, yeah. You take a sip of the drink that was in front of Gumbo. And nothing happens. Not that you can tell. Not that you could tell. Uh, what does that mean? What happens if I look at one of the, uh, the patrons

who are fighting? Yeah, you, uh, focus your attention on someone in the tavern brawl, and they begin vomiting profusely. Oh, my God. This scenario makes no sense. I think you have to fight. You're the one outlier. Oh, I'm not fighting anymore. I'm playing.

Could I come up to the bar and order a cup of tea? Yeah. Bart, I assume you stop playing your instrument. You come back downstairs and order a cup of tea. Yeah. Bart, I assume you stop playing your instrument. You come back downstairs and order a cup of tea from the barkeep. Yes. Yeah. The barkeep transforms again, this time into a half-orc and turns around and says, coming right up.

Begins putting together a drink for you and puts the drink right in front of you. There you go. Can I take a sip? Yeah. You take a sip of the drink that's put in front of you and you feel like the hairs on your body are like standing on edge. I think, have you guys all had a drink? Was I the last one to have a drink?

No. Gum Gum has not. Gum Gum, why don't you also have a drink? Yeah, I'll do it because I'll do what the group suggests. Oh yeah, yes and. Interesting. I love a drink. Hey Gum Gum, they might have chocolate milk here. What do you order to drink?

Chocolate milk. Chocolate milk. I have a guess. I have a guess at where this could go. If this doesn't work out, I want to try something else. All right, Gum-Gum, you go and you order a drink, and you start drinking it, and all of the hairs on your body also start standing on edge.

Is there maybe something to do with the barkeep? Because he keeps changing. Well, he's also, it's like a free-for-all, and he's giving us all these drinks. It doesn't seem like he's charging us, so like maybe we just ask for what we want. So like maybe we just ask for that. What is the ruby thing? Give me balls. Joel, keep asking

for balls. I actually kind of like Kyborg's theory. Yeah. Do you have a ruby? He asks the barkeep. A ruby? No, I only have drinks. Oh, what's, it's in liquid form. It's like that blood thing,y? He asks the barkeep. Ruby? No, I only have drinks. Oh, what's- It's in liquid form. It's like that blood thing, right? Didn't the thing turn into like blood red stuff?

What's it called? What are we even searching for, this thing? A ruby colored tear. Yeah, I'll have a glass of ruby colored tears. Coming right up! The barkeep turns around and begins working on a- Working on a drink. And then he puts together a red drink and slides it in front of you.

This is probably not what I asked for. I'd take a drink, though. Sip it. Yeah, sure. You take a sip, and all the hair on all of Kyborg's head falls out. I already have puberty. No, it's gone.

You're bald now. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. What? Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Mud then takes a drink as well. Of what? Of my drink. The one you got initially?

I'd like another. All right. What can I get you? Give me the house special. House special how special you got it can i talk to him while he's making mr burb keep sir what's the last time someone came in here where'd they go how'd they leave he laughs and says well i don't think anyone ever really does leave okay oh fun oh you're satan all right yeah you get a drink and yeah it makes you you feel strong. Not physically strong, but you feel like better, like healthier. I raise my glass up and say cheers for the infinites and motion for all of my teammates to cheers with me.

Cheers. I cheer my tea. Gum gum. Cheers. Can we down our drinks? Yeah, go for it. As you all make your toast and begin downing your drinks, everyone in the tavern begins booing.

Boo! We're drinking at a bar! What do you want from us? You all black out. Don't forget to give us a follow on social media, Twitter, and Instagram at StinkyDragonPod. You can tag us using hashtag StinkyDragonPod. We've got a StinkyDragonPod. You can tag us using hashtag StinkyDragonPod.

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Well, we did something. Progress. Y'all start slowly coming to and open your eyes and look around and you're back at the center of the bridge. It's going in all four directions. Okay. Not going through that door anymore. Alright. One down. Did anything about that door change? You all hear a voice in your heads

that says... Do not despair from your mistakes or seek to point the blame. Lessons can be learned from failure if they can be named. What say you? This is your fault, Maude! I hate you! All right, I'm convinced. I feel like, yeah, I'm going to say Kaiborg might have had it at the top. I guess we all go in there and fight.

Lessons can be learned from failure if they can be named. We were cordial to each other, and that ended that room. The southern door disappears, and a blanket of warmth falls over everyone. I peed my pants. You all get... Oh, did I do something good? Six temporary hit points. Whoa!

Six temp? Yay! If I'm down 10 HP, do I add that to my current or just temp? Just temp HP. But whenever you take damage from here on out, you can subtract it from the temp HP instead of your normal hit points. Gotcha. Okay.

So I'll just add six temp and I'm still down 10 for my max HP. Correct. So do the other ones, the ones that Bart and Gum Gum were at. No, wait, no, wait. Which ones are the ones that repeated? It was Mud and Bart's. Me and Mud. And that was North and East.

Do you want to try West, which was you walk the path of others first, you set foot in, prepare for others. Yeah, set foot in. I feel like that one should be done last. I feel like that one should go last because you walk the path of others first. Oh. Oh, interesting. You walk the path of neither nor, but we both go in neither nor at the same time. Okay, so split two and two?

Yeah. Sure. I need to make notes of this. Who's going in which direction? I go back to my door. I'll go with Mud. Okay, which direction were you in initially, Mud? North.

A very notable Elijah Wood film, if you recall. Yes, okay. And Tyborg, you're accompanying Mud to the north. Yes, Team Myborg. Gum Gum and Bart, which direction were you all going in? I think that's the east. Okay. Team Bud, Bud Bud.

I just got to make sure I'm keeping track of all of this appropriately. No, he's Bum Bum. He's Bum Bum. Bum Bum. Team Bum Bum. All right. So Kyborg and Mud head to the northern door, and Gum Gum and Bart head to the eastern door, and you're at each of these doors. All right. Three, two, one. Mud opens his door. Mud opens the eastern door and uh you're at each of these doors all right three two one mud opens his door mud opens the northern door who opens the eastern door i'll do it i guess come come

unless you want to i don't care you said you wanted to so go for it we'll deal with the northern door first we're in an apothecary there's a bunch of pets mud the door is very very stiff and difficult for you to open but you are able to push it open. At the same time, on the eastern door that was Gum Gum opening it, the door opens super easily to the east. And two people head into the north and two people head into the east. I'm going to need to get an initiative roll from each of you just so I can deal with these two separately. So Bart's rolling for your group and then someone rolls for the other group. Okay. Okay, I rolled a 13.

Uh, right off the bat, I rolled a 20. 15 plus 5. Right off the bat, it seems like we need to be aware of opposites. If ours is hard and theirs is easy, we need to be aware of that. I feel like it plays into the poem. Neither, nor. I don't know. I punch Kyborg. Okay. I don't.

I don't. I don't. So Kyborg rolled higher on the initiative, so we'll deal with Kyborg and Mud first. Okay. We're in Ace Ventura when he swings at that one guy. The guy just catches his punch with his teeth. Oh, yeah. Kyborg and Mud, you open the door, and when you pass through, you look around, and to your shock, you're in a courtroom.

And you are instantly greeted by guards who put shackles on you and usher you and push you up to the front of the court before the judge. The judge appears to be like a big humanoid looking owl. The judge has golden and white feathers and a furrowed brow. The judge bangs his gavel. Order, order. The two of you have been found guilty of failing to be lawful abiding citizens in the realm of Faiza. How do you plead? Not guilty. Not guilty. I say my client is one of the most upstanding citizens in this town. I will defend him, your honor. Well, what evidence do you have to support your case? He has a badger.

And he is a friend of the wild. And he is pure of heart, your honor. Roll a charisma. Roll a persuasion check. I'm just oozing with charisma right now. I'm rolling right into this. Persuasion? Yeah.

I say, that's a six, your honor. Overruled. Oh a six, your honor. Overruled. Oh, yes, your honor. You. And he points at mud. What gives you the right to exist? Before I answer, can I do a quick look around the courtroom for anybody else? Yeah, there's a jury off to the side.

Who's on the jury? It's a mixture of creatures. Some humanoids, some seemingly sentient animals, some like fey creatures with wings. I love fey creatures. May I ask who brought these charges against us? The people of Faiza. What was the

second half of this door's poem? You walk the path of neither nor at risk you enter through this door. There's also something about lessons can be learned from failure if they can be named. Okay. Yeah. That was like what we heard when the other door disappeared.

Yeah. And what was the question? I'm sorry. I've been like, gather information. What gives you the right to exist? The same right as every other creature's reason for existing. We just exist, so I exist. Speaking of other creatures, how do you treat other average creatures?

Oh, I mean with great care. Have you met my friend Gumball? Mmm. Again, exhibit A, your honor! He has a pure of heart... What is he? ...badgel! Look at how happy that badgel is! Look at how happy he is, your honor! Mud turns to the right where Qyborg was and there's a giant rooster instead right there.

I was gonna say, is the KFC colonel here? I'll say it. Ask Foghorn Leghorn if I've ever heard it. Make a persuasion check, Mud. That's not gonna go well. That's only a 14. The owl strokes their chin and says, I see.

This evidence does sway the court. And what of your friend? What's up, my friend? How he- what question are you exactly asking? How does your friend treat the average citizen of Faiza? With the utmost care, your honor! I am a man of pure heart! My arm may be steel, but my heart is- is made of pure gold! Ooh, roll a persuasion check with advantage. It's a four.

Oh, come on, dude. That's a 15-year-old. Judge Talon slams his gavel down some more and says, I've heard enough. I will have order. These two are clearly not guilty. The guards re-approach you unshackle you and escort you back to the door okay as we're leaving i say justice has been done on this day ladies and

gentlemen of the court uh yeah you're you're escorted and kind of gently pushed back out the door uh you appeared in and you're back at the intersection of the bridges. That was fun. However, at the same time this was happening, Gum-Gum and Bart were dealing with their thing. They were going through the eastern door. Gum-Gum and Bart, you go through your door and you're standing on a cliffside next to a towering barren tree. There's a thunderstorm raging overhead. Oh my goodness.

Oh my goodness. barren tree. There's a thunderstorm raging overhead. Oh my goodness. Oh my goodness. Bart holds on to Gum Gum so he's almost like an umbrella for him. Okay. A Gum Gumbrella? Okay. Oh my god, that's amazing.

Now I want fan art of that. Run to the tree and say, Tree, are you okay? Yeah, you run to the tree. I mean, the tree doesn't answer you, but roll me a perception check, Gum-Gum. Hey. Yeah, the tree looks like it's seen better days. It's pretty barren.

Oh, no. At the base of the tree, however, you see a small satchel. Can we open it? Yeah, can we pick it up? Yeah, you all pick it up and open it. And there's some stuff in it. There's some gloves, a cloak, and 150 gold pieces. Hey, Gumgum, you want to split this? You hear a very faint

voice in the distance. Help me! What? Who needs help? Both of you make a perception check. And you said there's gloves, 150 gold, and what was the other thing? A cloak. Bart, it sounds like the voice is coming from over the cliffside. Could I decipher, like, if I recognize

the voice? Yeah, make a wisdom check. Gosh dang it. Only a seven. I'm rolling very low. Yeah, you're having an off day, Barbara. No, the voice does not sound familiar. You did roll a nat 20 when you were playing music.

Oh, that's true. That's very true. Where it was important. Yeah. Where's the voice? Did you hear that? I think I did. Do you think we should put this cloak on?

What does it do, do you think? I don't know. We've got to help this person. Who did they come from? Are they in the tree? It sounds like they're coming from somewhere over the cliff. Can I go and look over the cliff? Yeah, you look over the cliff,

and it's a pretty sheer drop down to like a raging ocean below, very far, but about 60 feet down the cliffside, you see a really young girl like hugging onto some rotting tree roots that are dangling out from the cliffside. She looks up and says, Please help me! I can't hold on much longer! Okay, how can we help her? Um, wait, what else did we say was in that bag?

We said a cloak and gold, is that it? Gloves, cloaks, and gold. That's correct. Gloves. Could I tell if these are Paralites gloves? Make a wisdom check. Gosh dang it. Okay, I want to use my inspiration die.

Bart rolled an eight, by the way, for our listeners. Okay, now I'm rolling a 12. Not much better. They seem to be very plain gloves. So they don't look like Paralites? Not from what you can remember. Okay. Okay, I can tie a rope around the tree, and I can lower you Not from what you can remember. Okay. Okay.

I can tie a rope around the tree and I can lower you down and you help them. You love the rope. The rope? Yeah. Every GumGum plan. Everyone loves rope. Maybe we should like put on these pieces of clothing and see if they could help us. Like maybe give us some extra abilities to go save this girl.

What do you want to put on? Gloves or clothes? Well, who's going to climb down? What would climbing be? Would that be dexterity? It would be probably an athletics check. By the way, Micah says you're very naughty. Come go. He does have a lot of rope. What do you use that for? My athletics isn't great. Okay, well, I can do it.

I was thinking I could lower you down. Oh, yeah, that's true. With a rope to help. Or we could just lower the rope. Okay, well, I'm going to put on the cloak. I'll put on the gloves. Which one of you is the southern lawyer in this scenario? So far, neither. The cloak fits you pretty well, Bart. The little girl, roughly your size, kind of small.

So the cloak is a perfect fit for you. Gum-Gum, the gloves are pretty snug for you. You may have heard a stitch or two pop when you put them on, but you're able to get them on your meaty hand. If the gloves fit, you must quit. It's a different universe. That was our door. That was our door.

Could I use my wand to detect magic on the gloves and cloak as well? Yeah, you use your wand to detect magic to, you know, try to see if there's magic around you, but everything here is glowing with magic. Oh, that's true. The tree, the ground, the gloves, I mean, everything. So, yes, they do glow, but everything's glowing. Detect magic also lets them know the class.

They're strong enchantment, transmutation, and illusionary magic. Okay. Could I grab my rope, put my friendship bracelets attached to the one end of it with a knot so that, you know, they're held onto the end? And then... I could also, Gum Gum, if you want, use my mage hand to carry the end of the rope to her. Yeah, that's good too. I think.

What's the range on mage hand? I was just about to check, actually. Yeah, I think it's 30 feet. Oh, really? It might be. I thought it was longer than that. Yeah, it's only 30 feet, unfortunately. Is that why you specifically said, she's 60 feet down?

Well, she's just straight down, right? Yeah, straight down the cliffside. You hear her scream as the roots become, like, loosened and she slips a few feet extra down. I drop it down and lower down and have the other end around the tree so I can use it as leverage and hold and lower it. You lower it to her?

Yeah. And what do you say? Do you grab hold of the rope and put the friendship bracelet on so that you don't slip? I'm afraid to let go. That's why you put the friendship bracelet on. Put the friendship bracelet on.

It'll protect you. Yeah, sure. Why not? She's got her arms wrapped around the roots, but, you know, she frees them up a little bit and puts your friendship bracelet on and she says,

These are strange friendship bracelets. I'm a strange friend yeah she puts uh the friendship bracelets on okay i put the bracelets on now hold on to the rope and close your eyes okay they're closed now count to one count to one count to one. Count to one. Count to one, 12 times. As you're saying this, a bolt of lightning comes out of the sky and strikes the ground right next to you in the tree. It's hard to see now. You're blinded by this bright light, and it's hard to hear from the thunder.

I just start pulling the rope up. Okay. What is Bart doing during all this? I'm going to help Gum-Gum pull the rope. Okay. You all pull her up to the top. And it's a, you know, you see it's a young girl, maybe four or five years old. She's wearing a rather dirtied white dress.

Oh, thank you. Thank you so much. She like runs up and begins hugging you. You found my bag. I was afraid I had lost it over the cliffside during this storm. And then I fell as I was looking for it. Yeah, sorry. I wore your gloves for luck.

Here, you can have them back. And also undo her friendship bracelet. I'm just glad you found me. Thank you again for saving me. Yeah, did you count to one 12 times to help? I did, but I don't know why I didn't just count to 12. One, one, one. You gave her back her satchel and gloves.

Could I see first if she looks familiar? Like if we recognize her? Make a wisdom check. Is this familiar? Man, seven. No, she does not look familiar to you. She looks at you, Bart. May I have my cloak as well?

I'd be happy to reward you. She reaches in her bag and pulls out 25 gold and hands it out in her hand. In a second, just curious before I hand this back to you, what does it do? What's special about this cloak? Well, it keeps the rain off of me. Okay.

Ah, magic. Alright, fair enough. Bart hands the cloak back to her and takes the gold. What's your name? My name is Luz. I knew it. The wooden door appears in the top of the cliffside, and you two seem to stumble through it, and you're back in the intersection with the bridges.

Bye-bye, Luz. My name is Gum-Gum. So we just saved Paralite. Yeah, that was baby Paralite. The gloves are the tip-off for me. You're back at, like I said, the intersection. You said they look just like normal gloves. With the bridges and the doors and the eastern door disappears as well.

That's like her accessory. And you feel like a blanket of warmth come over everyone in the party. What happened to our north door? It also disappeared. Okay, okay. Yeah, it's gone as well. So the north, southern, and eastern door are all disappeared. And you all are back together.

We went in our door and Kiberg started talking in this weird accent the whole time but it worked and we got out. What happened in yours? We met a little girl. We saved her. We might have met a young Paralite and saved her from death. No, her name was Luz. So I don't know if that maybe changed the course of everything. Did you kill her? No.

Oh, okay, okay. I am still thoroughly confused as to what the point of all this is, but I suppose we should go through the last door. Did anything happen when we went through those doors? They melted away. Oh, yeah, you saw a little girl hanging off the cliffside. Did it affect the outside?

Yeah, he said the door. Those doors are now gone. They're just gone. And we feel good. Yay. All right. Y'all feel like every time you're coming back now, you feel like a blanket of warmth over you.

I say we go west door, which is the final door, which is, once again, you walk the path of others first you set foot and prepare for thirst oh pack gatorade yeah you get some water uh mud goes to the door and motions everybody to join him yeah all right does everyone join him yeah but i get a water my thing and have it in hand yeah what do you fill that with the red mist from below no i already have we got canteens bart are you joining on the western door as well? Yeah. I love that confidence. What's wrong, Bart? What do you want to do?

I'm coming with you, I just said. I just felt some hesitation. I was wondering if you had a different idea. Bart could make his own decision. That's why I'm asking if Bart wants to make a different decision. I'm asking for your opinion. Bart, you seem troubled. Is there something wrong? Are you in a lawsuit? Do you need an attorney of some sort? I know a guy. Actually, yeah. I'm looking for your opinion you seem troubled is there something wrong like are you in a like a lawsuit? Do you need like an attorney of some sort? I know a guy actually yeah, yeah

Yeah, let me uh I'm looking for an attorney for a unrelated lawsuit Could I'd maybe like see if any of you are qualified to represent Just quick question you're hired Did she give us 25 gold each or just it was total, but now that you look for it, it's disappeared. It's disappeared? Yeah, it's gone. I knew it. She's going to grow up to be a villain someday.

Mud opens the door. You try to open the door, but it appears to be locked. Oh. Like, is there a keyhole? No. She's not moving. Correct. I try opening the door.

The door does not budge. I try kicking the door. Make an attack roll attack roll yeah you're kicking it like an unarmed strike or something well yeah you're using your leg idiot such name calling uh yeah i mean the door is not really moving so yeah you connect with it roll some damage on that kick damage five the door door shakes and rattles with your very strong kick and it seems like it splinters and you hear it give a little bit, but it is still closed

in front of you. Sorry to keep going back to this, but it says lessons can be learned from failure if they can be named. So does that mean we have to like say something to this door? Well, didn't we get whenever John whenever Mud said he should have fought with us, we all got felt better and got temporary health. So maybe that was it. Okay. We should have fought with us, we all felt better and got temporary health.

So maybe that was it. Okay. We should have let Luce die. We should have kept Luce's gloves. I don't know about that. I don't want to steal. Well, one could say that she invoked a lot of harm on people with those gloves. One harm does not make the other harm good.

Can I try something crazy? Yeah. Can I knock on the other harm good. Can I try something crazy? Yeah. Can I knock on the door? Yeah. While this deep conversation from GumGum's happening, Mud, you know, gives a, what do you do, like a quick rap on the door? Yeah. Make a perception check. Interesting thing to roll.

That's a 20. You think you hear a very quiet chuckle coming from the other side of the door. Can I go up to maybe where it kind of was splintering from Kyborg's thing? Yeah. And just be like, hello? No reply. Alright, Gum-Gum, take your axe to it, cut a hole into it, stick your face in it, and say, here's Gum-Gum! Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

There was laughing on the other side of this door. Knock, knock. Oh! What? Oh, you... Uh, you hear no response. Okay. Is it possible... This might be a bad idea,

but is it possible for me to use Dimension Door to teleport myself onto the other side of this door? Interesting. Let me read Dimension Door real fast. Just because all these, like, transport things can be very strange. Yeah. I mean, I know it says something like if you could envision where you want to go. Be a place you can see, one you can visualize, or one you can describe by starting distance and direction. Oh, so he could say I want to go five feet on the other side of this door, right?

Yeah, you could absolutely do that. So you want to go ahead and cast Dimension Door. And how do you invoke and describe where you want to go five feet on the other side of this door, right? Yeah, you could absolutely do that. So you want to go ahead and cast Dimension Door. And how do you invoke and describe where you want to go? I would request my Dimension Door take me to the other side of this door we are looking at currently. This is very Monkey Paul kind of stuff. I don't think, because you have to describe it by starting distance and direction, or it has to be a place you can see or visualize. So it has to be like a place you can see,

a place you have seen in the past, or a place you can describe directionally from where you are right now. What if I said like, I would like to teleport five feet north of myself? West. West. West.

Yeah. I'm sorry, I forgot what direction we were going. Bart teleports off the bridge, falls into a red abyss. Roll for new character, Barb. Okay, so you cast Dimension Door and you say you want to Dimension Door five feet to the west, correct?

Yeah, because I'm standing right in front of the door, right? The door is actually six feet thick. Bart suffocates. Yeah, Bart opens up a Dimension Door, describes where he wants to go, and steps through it, and then reappears at the intersection of the nexus between the four bridges. What'd you see, Bart?

Really quick, it says you walk the path of others first, you set foot in, prepare for thirst, you set foot in. I'm going to kick the door down. I'm going to try it again. I splintered the door before, right? Yeah, make an attack roll. 13. 13, yeah, Make an attack roll. 13. 13, yeah.

And roll some damage. Five. Yeah, the door fully breaks open now. Huh? I set my foot in. Your surroundings change, and you all are in a cold, dim stone room. And the door slams shut behind you. You thought you broke it, but for some reason it closed?

Huh. In the center of the room is a lit torch flickering on the ground next to something glinting in the firelight. Is this the ruby here? Something glinting in the fire? Go for it, Bart. Could I go up to it and look at it? Yeah, you look at it and you see that what's glinting is a bloody knife that's pinned a frayed scrap of parchment to the ground. So the knife has something like stabbed into a piece of parchment into the ground.

Correct. Could I see if I could read the parchment? Yeah, you pick the part. I assume you pick the parchment up to read it or just want to talk about it. Yeah, I'll take the knife out so I don't rip the paper as I pick it up. Yeah, you take a look at it and it reads, The devil lives here in disguise. Sort out the truth from all the lies.

Make haste before the torchlight dies. Okay. Oh, good. A timed puzzle. We'll be great. Oh, yeah, I got to start that timer. Guys, which's your answer? This is the devil.

Who could it be? This isn't a crossover moment. Can we look around and see if there's anything else in the room or anyone else? Make a perception check. Ten. You don't notice anybody else or anything out of the ordinary. It's a pretty small room. It's only like 15 feet by 15 feet.

It is kind of hard to see because the only light is this torch that seems to be flickering. I'm night vision. Oh, but you do hear... Oh, there was giggling. Yeah, you do hear some devious laughter in the distance. You can't quite ascertain where it's coming from. Who's there? I can hear you. Anything?

No, nothing. Okay. Can I see if there's any other... There's no other people aside from the giggling voice, but is there any other things of note in this room aside from the torch, the knife, and the parchment? You see, like, scratch marks on the walls. Oh.

We're in a tomb that people have been buried alive inside. How high is the ceiling? That's about 15 feet. It's pretty much like a cube that you're in, 15 by 15 by 15. Light the paper on fire. Ooh, that's a good idea. Read it one more time. Bart, do you read it?

Yes, I read it one more time. It says out loud. In Bart's voice, the devil lives here in disguise. Sort out the truth from all the lies. Make haste before the torchlight dies. Sort out the truth from all the lies. Mutt just

calls out, hello, is anybody in here? You hear blood curdling screams echoing across all of the walls You hear blood-curdling screams echoing across all of the walls. I blood-curdling scream back. Make an intimidation check. Oh, not what I expected. Good news. I'm really intimidating.

I rolled a two. What does your blood-curdling scream sound like then if you rolled a two? I go for it, but I just like when you get a little piece of spit stuck in your throat and you go to freeze. Ooh, spooky. I mean, the only props we have are the torch, the knife and the paper.

Should we just light the paper on fire? The torch pops, you know, like a fire crack sometimes. You hear a loud like snap inside of it. Seems like it's burning down. Okay, Gum Gum, light a fart. We'll run out of options quick. You have to. I don't have to go. Can I go

bang on the wall? I don't have to go. Like I said, they're stone walls. You start banging on them? Yeah. Okay. Yeah, you bang on the wall. Nothing seems to happen. We'll sort through all the lies. Wait, the devil doesn't live here in disguise. Oh, maybe we should take the knife and we should just start swiping at the air.

We'll all get behind Bart, who has the knife. I'm just going to be walking like this. Exactly. They're in disguise. They're here somewhere. And if you happen to get in my way. That's on you, devil. Let's hold hands.

If we all hold hands, we could walk across the entire room and see if there's anyone who is invisible. I mean, yeah, that's a way of doing it. We could see if there's someone invisible hiding from us. Let's do it. Yeah, we got to stick together. So y'all like red rovering it? Yes.

And just sweeping through the entire room? Yep, because 15 feet, that's plenty of space. Yeah. I think four people should be able to do that. And we get the whole thing. Yeah, everyone make a perception check. Six. Sweet.

25. 15. Okay, as you do that, you know, y'all are sweeping through the room that way. Bart, the hairs on the back of your neck stand up up and you feel like a wind whistle past your left ear. That's going to be the most part. Wind whistle past my left ear. And where am I in? Am I at the further left part of everyone?

I would assume you would have been on one of the ends since you're holding the knife. Right. Hey, guys. Did anyone have burritos for lunch? Did anyone have a net? Or was that a ghostly spirit passing by my ear? It seems like the room's getting dimmer Can I grab the torch?

Yes Light the paper on fire Can I take the torch around the room And see what the room lights up to? Yeah Make an investigation check We'll call this one here Investigating

While he's doing that Can I also light my own torch? Sure, why not? Is the fire transferred? You know what? I'm going to use inspiration dose just because I think this is worth 16. As you walk around and look at the walls, you see, you know, many, many scratches on seemingly every surface of the wall in the room. And in various spots, it seems like old blood stains on some lower portions of the wall.

And it's just like stone walls all around us with a door. And can we see how high up it goes? About 15 feet. Lower portions of the wall. I'm wondering if this is one of those smushing rooms where the ceiling comes down and smushes. Can we light the paper on fire? Yes, if no one stops him,

Kyborg can take the parchment and light it on fire. Is he going up for that? That's fine. All right, I light the paper on fire. All right. I mean, the parchment is already kind of frayed, and it lights up pretty easily, and then, you know, turns to ash. Ta-da.

Does anything happen? Not that you can tell. I have a bunch of sand. Can I throw it around the floor? Good call. Oh, he still skips. I really need to start counting your weight and your encumbrance. Yeah, you can absolutely

take all your sand and toss it around on the floor. Now that there's no one invisible, we'll see you. See the footsteps. Now let's do our walking game. Well, then we're going to see our footsteps. Yeah, but we'll see if someone else comes around. Didn't you, Bart, you said someone moved? I felt a wind pass my ear. Could I try something?

Are we convinced that we're looking for, like, something invisible? Possibly. I'm open to that. Okay. Then I... Can I cast Conjure Animals? And I conjure eight swarms of insects to fill the room. Okay.

And see if, like, they cannot occupy a space. Okay. So you're just trying to fill the room with insects. Yeah. They're like... I'm using them as as like, I don't know, sonar. Okay, yeah, you're able to conjure swarms of insects that fill the room. Everyone keep your mouth closed. Are they flying or crawling?

I think one of them was, I can conjure flies. Okay, they're like kicking sand up in the air and it's getting everywhere. Yeah, make sure you keep your mouths closed and they seems like they fill the entire volume of the room, you know So it's like wall to wall wall to door insects everywhere. There is no vacuum of space. They're not filling This is like Temple of Doom Not that you can tell no there there are insects filling every spare cubic inch of this room

Yeah, it's that kind of spare cubic inch of this room. I hate this. Yeah, it's that kind of... I think it made the situation worse. Question for the group. Yes. Do you think Dr. Ahem would know what to do in this situation? We do have that sending stone. Okay.

Let's just call a friend. We could give him a good... We could phone a friend. This is the point of the escape room where we're like, we need help with this puzzle. That's right. Yeah, let's do it. We get the one unless unless we want to see what else there is going on in here the thing is the only thing i can think of is the poem said you walk the path of

others first you set foot in prepare for thirst why don't we drink some water what if we drink and then like maybe what if we extinguish the fire i don't know no i don't know about that oh god we burnt the parchments anybody remember what it said? It seems like the torch is barely emitting any glow of light at this point. Let's drink some water. I want to drink some water. Do we have any water to drink? Our canteens.

Yeah, I guess let's all take a sip of our canteens. Yeah, your mouth fills with insects and a little bit of water. Give me the bugs. No, I make the bugs go to the ceiling. I'm keeping them around. Yeah, you all are able to, you know, plop a little bit of water and bug, seemingly with nothing happening.

Prepare for thirst. Okay, prepare for thirst. What was the parchment, though? Well, we can't reread it because we burned it. Correct. We did that. The devil lives here in disguise, sorted out through all the lies,

make haste before the torchlight dies. Maybe we should just keep continuing fast. Through all the lies. Make haste. But dolight dies. Maybe we should just keep continuing fast. All the lies. But do what fast? Like, get through this room? Like, if we walk forward? It's a big circular room. Did we touch all the walls? Not circular, it's cubic. Can we touch all the walls?

I didn't touch them all, but I did look at all. You can go around. What are you doing? Just taking your hand and touching the walls? Let's see, taking your hand and touching the wall. Just peel on the wall, see if there's anything that isn't wall. The only thing that's not wall is the door that slammed behind you when you all came into this room. But everything else seems to be...

And that's locked. Everything else seems to be, like, solid with scratches. Can I knock on the door and say, hello? Is one of us the devil? You hear, again, you hear chuckling in the distance. Are you the devil? No reply. Is one of us the devil?

Nothing. What's your favorite color? Say nothing if you're the devil. Devil says what? Devil says what? Prepare for thirst. I keep going through these poems again. Doubt is not your enemy, nor should it choose your friend.

I hit start on my game controller and set the game to easy. Prepare for thirst. enemy nor should it to your friend I hit start on my game controller and set the game to easy search our hearts in every way all right which one of you you people have been lying to us who's got who needs to come through who needs to come clean I'm worried I haven't paid in a long time is anybody else got a lie to tell? I cast Cone of Truth. I don't have that. I don't have that. I wish I did. Zone of Truth.

Zone of Truth. Yeah, yeah. Maybe something with the knife? Stab the wall. Stab the... I stabbed the wall. Wait, Bart has the knife. Oh.

Well, I'm holding it, yeah. Could I look at the knife and see if there's any clues on it? Yeah, you take a look at it, and it seems to be pretty un-extraordinary. It does have blood on it, but it just seems pretty mundane. There's no writing on it or anything like that? No, and it's hard to tell because at this point, the torch is down to embers. Can I sniff the blood and using survival skills to see if it's how recent it is and what kind of type of blood it might be? If we hold it in a certain direction, it'll help us find the Death Star.

Yeah, Gum-Gum gets down on his hands and knees and starts sniffing blood. Lots of flies get into your nose while you're inhaling as well. They're at the ceiling. I said that. What do you want to use for that? Survival. Like, it's you know, for hunting wild game. Like a survival check? Yeah. Yeah, make a

survival check. 14. Like, and how recent the blood is. The blood doesn't smell like the blood of any creature you've encountered before. And is it wet? How recent? It seems very dry. Very dry. Was this the room you knew would break us?

I don't know. Through all the lies, maybe we lie on the ground? Wait, it says, and it says prepared to thirst. Where's that lie? Mud lays down on the ground. I lie on the ground. I lie on the ground. I lie on the ground as well.

All four of you lay down, and again, you hear pained screams in the distance. Pained screams, but not giggling? Or both? You just heard screams this time. Oh, man. Is this torch we're holding, can we by any chance relight it, or is it just like one charge and done? Can we, by any chance, relight it? Or is it just like one charge and done?

You can try, but it seems like, you know, whatever is on it, fueling it, is quickly exhausting. This is through all the lies. I feel like this is the point where I ask you guys to give us a hint to progress this story. Anything, anything. I'm having fun. Wait, did we, did the stone of whatever, did we end up? No, we didn't use it yet. Could I use my sentencing stone to call Dr. Rahem?

Yeah. What's the restriction on it? You can send a message up to 25 words. Was that it? Oh, I didn't know those were a limitation. I knew there was an amount of uses.

I know you could use it once per long rest, I think, or once per day. I don't know if it's going to help us, y'all. Can I pour some water on the ground?

We're just trying everything. All right, I'm looking up the sending stone first. Let's do one thing at a time, guys. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, 25 words. All right, I'm looking at the sending stone first. Let's do one thing at a time. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, 25 words or less.

You have to tell me the 25 words part. What do you guys think we should say? Could I just say, need help? Let me write this down. Need help. And then I read out the... Poem? The parchment?

Should I read the poem from the door or the poem from the parchment? You could probably read both. The one that we found in the parchment is only 14 words. Wait think oh no no never mind it was uh how many words oh that's right uh it's yeah i think it's too many one two three four five six seven eight nine ten eleven twelve thirteen fourteen fifteen sixteen seventeen eighteen nineteen twenty twenty one twenty two that's enough that's perfect so you do you want to send an additional three words? Well, I said need help plus that. Okay, need help. And then read to me what that is.

The devil lives here in disguise, sorted out through all the lies, make haste before the torchlight dies. Okay, and that's what you sent Bart? Yeah. Okay. You send that off. This is your first time using...

No, no, you used the sending stone already when you were there. Your second time using the sending stone. And you send off a message after a couple of seconds. Actually, how does it work? Does only Bart hear it or does everyone hear it? Let me double check. Is that on speakerphone, Bart?

I cut my hands around the sending stone to make it echo louder. The creature hears the message. So Dr. Ahem hears it in his mind and then it knows that you can answer. So then it sends its answer back to you in your mind so only you hear it far do you want me to read it to everyone or do you want me to send it to you privately um you can send it to me and i okay i will read it what if she's lying what if she's the devil in disguise if this doesn't work for an instance that's good call yay okay guys i'm telepathically communicating with dr him and he says when you have eliminated all which is impossible, then whatever remains,

however improbable, must be the truth. More riddles? Thanks, Dr. Ahem. All that is possible. I try the door. So you're no longer laying down. You stand up and walk to the door and try to open it? Sure. It swings open. None of us tried the door.

I walked through. I walked through as well. Did we not? Everyone disappears from this room and then reappears back at the center of the nexus of all the different bridges. And you have a feeling of warmth rolling over all of you. I take the knife and I stab Gus. The mud is like, huzzah! We're like covered in bugs and lying on the ground with blood. Thump, thump, thump, thump. The bridge begins to vibrate and pulse louder and louder until the bridge collapses beneath you.

But instead of a stomach-lurching tree fall, you instead find yourselves floating and drifting downward like feathers through a warm, rosy mist. As you're gradually falling, you notice snowy treetops come into view along with a familiar knoll. You lightly glide past the conifers and finally land on the powdered ground below next to the stone monolith the two cavities shaped like hands merge together and form a chamber pulsing with light in the shape of a heart thump thump thump thump kybor your right arm starts to pulse in rhythm with the heart-shaped chamber thump thump thump thump have we found the area of the monolith should i just reach inside the heart thing?

I don't know what you mean by that part. Which one's your fake arm? It's my right arm. Is it, like, we're trying to find the ruby-colored tear. Yeah. Is that with the monolith? Well, that was, we originally approached this monolith, and it had the two holes, and then we got transported,

and now we're back to where we were at that monolith, but now it's one hole shaped like a heart that is meeting in resonance with Kyborg's fake arm. I'll just reach inside, yeah? Yeah, do it. Okay, I reach inside the heart-shaped hole. Kyborg, you reach inside and your hand finds a brilliant ruby red gemstone. You pull it out of the chamber and the monolith dissolves before you.

At the same time, the blood moon overhead fades back to a luminescent white. You look down at the ruby gemstone. It's in the shape of a tear, no bigger than a grape. You look down at the ruby gemstone, it's in the shape of a tear, no bigger than a grape. You feel your right arm tingling with warmth, and at once a small tear-shaped cavity appears on your prosthetic bicep. Uh, then I put the ruby, tear-shaped ruby gemstone into the tear-shaped hole in my arm. And he says, fine, I'll do it myself. The gemstone fits perfectly inside the hole, and you feel a heartbeat thump throughout your body like a drum.

And in an instant you see your parents and your sister standing before you. Their bodies are misty and reddish like rose-colored ghosts. All three of them beaming at you and you think you spot a tear in your mother's eye. We couldn't be prouder of you, little Kai. We always have been. And we always will be. She turns to look at the rest of you. Thank you for watching over Kaidelius and being there for him through thick and thin.

It's clear the four of you have a special bond. And she looks back at Kaiborg. We love you, Kai. We never left. We will always be right here. She reaches out and touches your chest and with that, the three of them melt away into the snow.

I tried to hide my tears from the rest of the team. Snowflake in the eye. Yeah, okay. Guys, I'm going to go for a quick walk. I'll be over here real quick. And that's it for this episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon. Thanks for listening along with this door-filled puzzle of an episode. If you understand anything of what just happened

and have insight to tell us what you think what just occurred, go to our subreddit. We now have a subreddit that now you guys can give us all of your theories and help us out so head on over what's what's the subreddit i don't know it's uh it's like stinky dragon pod or something like that stinky dragon podcast so reddit.com slash r slash stinky dragon podcast yeah would love that to be a kind of a since we haven't had like a direct way to communicate with the audience that'd be great we've also got theories social media uh at stinky dragon pod and uh we'll post some pictures on social media one of our listeners fruit bat sent in uh like a

handmade wooden dm screen that's like got a stinky dragon logo and drinks and initials carved on it it's really really cool we'll uh we'll take some photos and put that on social media. So thank you, Fruitbat. San Diego? Why is the SD? Oh, stinky dragon. Okay, got it, got it, got it. Very good.

We got a nice little note too. I'll share that with you guys. Oh, it's got like the wax dollop of things. A seal. Yeah. But that's it. We'll be back again next week with another episode. And that's about all.

Thanks, everyone. Bye. Thanks, everyone. that's it uh we'll be back again next week with another episode and that's about all thanks everyone bye thanks everyone Thank you.