Tales from the Stinky Dragon - Armageddon - Ep. 58 - You Shall Not Pyous Pass

Episode Date: July 27, 2022

The party returns to Pyous Pass to learn what’s transpired since their departure, and finds that aiding a beleaguered town from an untraceable menace may be the key to reaching their final destination.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is a Rooster Teeth Production. our latest thirst quencher, Retrievement Hunter. It's a mixture of off-tropical juice, red rum webs, face berry jam topped with annual wheatgrass. One sip of this see-through sauce is enough to put anyone back in the game. Previously, our adventurers entered the mystifying source monolith and were stupefied by their arch enemy, Doors. After much deliberation,

the party dared to finally do something and made their way through four puzzling paradoxes that challenged them to their very core. But in the end, the Infinites came out on top and collected their first dia gem. Can the party prolong this spell of success, or are they doomed to second guess? Pour yourself a pint, and let's proceed with this pungent plot.

Doors. Doors. It's true. I think that's our greatest enemy in this campaign. More so than Paralite. Do you know how like Jeff with bleep face has managed to turn nonsensical items into merchandise? Like at RTX,

they sold a grown tube. Well, no, uh, yeah, but, but they also sold a bread bag clip. Yeah.

Like one of those tiny little guys, little plastic square ones. So counter offer, could we sell Stinky Dragon doorknobs? Or hinges. I feel like a hinge would be actually pretty useful. Even better, a door knocker. A door knocker.

I'll ask Merch if there's an opportunity for any of those items to be personalized. How about just a friggin' axe? In case of door. Just a fire axe. We're just selling fire axes.

That should be fine, right? There's no legality issue behind that. Nah, we're good. Did we beat the doors? You tell me, what happened? I don't know. We got the gem. We got the die gem and it's in my arm now. We recorded that 700 weeks ago. Pre-RTX, so we're all like, yeah, our brains have reset. Thank you to everyone who came out to RTX.

Yeah, and if you're at the Seeky Dragon panel, especially a big thank you to you. And thank you to you, Blaine. Thank you for coming. Hey, Barb, thank you. Gus, you could have taken the day off, but, you know. Micah, thank you, though. Well, speaking

of diagems and your arm Kyborg. Kyborg, you place the ruby gemstone inside the hole in your prosthetic right arm. You feel a heartbeat thump throughout your body like a drum and in an instant you see your parents and your sister standing before you. Their bodies are misty and

reddish like rose-colored ghosts. All three of them are beaming at you and you think you spot a tear in your mother's eye. We couldn't be prouder of you, little Kai. We always have been and we always will be. She turns to look at the rest of you. Thank you for watching over Kaidelius and being there for him through thick and thin. It's clear the four of you have a special bond. And she looks back at you, Kaiborg. We love you, Kai.

We never left. We will always be right here. She reaches out and touches your chest, and with that, the three of them melt away into snow. Man, that's going to make me cry. I do. Can I do a backflip for mom? Before she disappears?

Sure, go ahead and make an athletics check. Mom, mom, mom, look, look, look, look! Oh, it's a 3 plus 7, 10. Oh, no. What's a 10? You're distracted by the tears in your eyes. But you managed to land it. It's not your best work, but

maybe the snow was a little deeper than you expected where you landed, but you managed to land it. It's not your best work, but maybe the snow was a little deeper than you expected where you landed. But you managed to stick it. She gives an understanding smile. It's kind of like when you put your hand out and you kind of waffle it back and forth. She's like, eh. Good job, honey. The cyborg we knew and loved. I really want there to be fan art of cyborg in the snow and then his family up in the clouds like Mufasa and the Lion King.

Remember. Remember who you are. I was thinking like the Force ghosts at the end of Return of the Jedi. Oh, that's good too. Oh, 100%. Except for Red, which is, you know, yeah. So they're evil. No.

They're good. They're Sith. I am very swept up in the emotions of this moment and I decide to hug each and every member of my team. Oh. What's that roll for? I'm going to roll for a dexterity to dodge. I just had a sentimental moment. I'm kidding.

I didn't roll. I didn't roll. Speaking of rolls, I hug you harder. Gum Gum wants to hug back, and he cries some, too. And then he goes I'm sorry Kaiborg I know how much it hurts to have a family reappear and then

disappear and I'm so sorry I've never forgiven you for that you totally blew combat that mission I hated you so much but it's okay I'm sorry I'm sorry Bart goes in to hug Kaiborg but only gets around his leg because he's very small.

All right. Yeah, so you guys go ahead and decide to, it sounds like you need the rest. So you all go ahead and you can take a long rest there. We out camping near the knoll there in the everwinter woods. Bart pulls out his little sleep mask and carries around with him. It's canon. Does it look like a raccoon mask? What?

I was going to say my sleep mask is just gumbo just lying right over my face. It's not the best smelling mask, but... Ew! Mine is just an eye mask, but it's with eyes, pictures of eyes that are open on the outside of it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just in case any enemies approach. Gum gums would be a mask with eye holes cut out.

You can still see. It's just the fabric around the cheeks. It's just a domino mask kyborg you feel a little different it feels almost like your heart is beating to a new rhythm and you find it invigorating if you had to guess it feels like your body suddenly has more like resiliency more stamina okay i thought there were heart palpitations, but I'll take this instead. No, you got unlimited power. Yeah, you got a diadem in your arm. Unlimited power.

I thought John said, you're going to die. You're going to die. A gem. Can I, like, perceive, like, I'm not asking for stat building or anything, but can I perceive how that's going to impact me or, like, what that might mean down the road? Make a medicine check. See if you can shoot a laser out of your arm. Twelve.

He poops his pants. Your medicine check's better than your athletics check. Maybe it's time for Kyborg to pursue a new career. His family always wanted him to be a doctor. Mud, you too? Yeah, I checked his medicine. Well, your roll's not as good as Kyborg. Kyborg can tell better. Maybe it's because he's the one being affected by it.

But from a meta game perspective, your constitution ability score increases by two. Wow. Holy crap. You have advantage with constitution ability checks and saving throws, and you are resistant to poison damage. Is this permanent for him? He's got that gem in him.

Unknown. Okay. so powerful. So these aren't changes he's making to his character sheet. For now. For now. Okay. For now. Yeah. I'm assuming that it's only while I possess the diagem, but I don't think it'll be long term.

So should I actually add that? I'm sorry for mitigating. Should I add? Yeah. Okay. It's okay to ask that. You should have an item in your inventory you can add called source diagem. Oh, okay. And then if you do that, it should automatically modify all that stuff. Oh, that's nice. That's handy. Thank you for reminding me, Micah.

I forgot. It's like right in front of me in giant text. Add item. Yeah. Have cyborg equipment. It's right. It's literally what it says. I'm going to add it to equipment and then I'm going to

activate it and ooh I feel so good. GumGum's still hugging him. He's like wow you're flexing hard. Wait no that came out wrong. I guess GumGum's still hugging him and he's like wow Kyborg you're strong. Is that a die gem in your

pocket? Kyborg I gotta say Is that a die gem in your pocket? Yeah. Kyborg, I got to say, I like the bling. Thank you. Thank you. So where are we again? We're in the Everwinter Woods. They live 10 times faster.

We're in the Everwinter Woods. So what do we do now? We've got one of the gems. Is there a chance that the way the die gems might work is that I've read in these little books before that gems like this, if you have one, it helps you find the next one. Do you feel drawn to a certain direction? I stick my robot arm out and then I try to perceive if that is the case. Make a perception check. Oh, okay.

I try to perceive. Eight. No, it doesn't seem to be really guiding you one way or another. Make a wisdom check. It's a 12. You remember there was something you were using to help you find your way, Kyborg.

The bow. Something I was using. The bow. Say it in gum gum voice. The bow. The bow. The bow and arrow. I'm holding out my arm and I say, I think it's... Gum Gum, it's right. It's on your back. Get it, Gum Gum.

It's on your back. Chris is actually turning around in his chair. He was. So while he's doing spinnies, I guess I pull out my old bow and see if that works. You pull out that little baby bow, and as you're using it to try to find your way, you feel it growing larger in your hand.

You look down at it, and the wooden twine start to frost over and turn a shade of icy blue. And before you know it, the entire weapon transforms into none other than your mother's bow, the longbow crystallina. Oh, my God. I'm getting all these gifts, and they're so cool. Yo, did you steal that?

Did your mom give you permission to touch that? Did you ask your mom? This has got to be my inheritance. It's the only thing else I got. You can add that, by the way, as well in your inventory. Ooh, baby. All right. Damn, I got nothing from Captain Marge.

You got a sea shanty. Yeah, that's true. Kyborg, there should be a description on that item. You can read as well. Sure. Let me activate that. I can tell whose parents loved it more. I'm going to attune that. Oh, it looks so sick. Okay.

This bow is crass. Take that again. Part two. This bow is crafted by Chris Salena of Everwinter using the frosty conifers of the everwinter woods what's a con what's a con i was about to ask you like that kid in class who's like it's it's yes coniferous coniferous trees yeah it's a kind of like a class of tree that's what i thought it was a conifer uh way to go tim when you use this weapon to make a ranged attack,

you can, as a comment phrase, say, forever winter, the target of your attack becomes your sworn enemy until it dies or until dawn seven days later. Wow. You can have only one such sworn enemy at a time. When your sworn enemy dies, you can choose a new one after the next dawn.

When you make a ranged attack roll with this weapon against your sworn enemy, you have advantage on the roll. In addition, your target gains no benefit from cover other than total cover, and you suffer no disadvantage due to long range. If the attack hits, your sworn enemy takes an extra 3d6 cold damage. While your sworn enemy lives, you have disadvantage on attack rolls with all other weapons okay this sounds strong it sounds fun i kind of like my long road triumph why i'm sorry because because if i get a bonus uh damage anytime i kill something i mean is there maybe a

situation where this goes better than the other one you know definitely it sounds like this one also has some bonus damage yeah i was gonna say 3d6 cold damage if it's my sworn enemy, but if it's not my sworn enemy, because I like to switch around a lot. So I think I'm going to use the heck out of this thing, but I think I'll probably switch back and forth depending on the situation. If it's multiple enemies, then for sure I'm going to be switching around. But if it's like one boss, definitely using. I'm sure that's what your mom would want.

Thanks, mom. My bow's better. Anyway. I feel like I'm spitting in not your mom would want thanks mom my bow's better I feel like I'm spitting in not only like my fictional mom's face but like my oh yeah Gus looks like you can't see him because you're home Gus looks like he just drank a cup of lemon juice actually I'm happy to hear that I think the thought was that we didn't want either bow to be like your exclusive like this is badass this is the best thing we thought that it would be good to have a compromise where you're like situationally like which one do i need to use and it's not just like one super op weapon but rather you're forced

to make a choice depending on the situation you're in there's a long bow is that two-handed so can you swap it in and out in battle yeah it would be an action. It'd be an action, I think. A swap weapon. Yeah. So I'm going to activate this one for now. We're going to test it out. Okay, is there any chance that your mother's bow is pointing you in a direction now? We need to find the other gems, right? Mark, you're getting a message.

On my sending stone? Yeah. I hold it up to my ear. Please advise. Travel to it up to my ear. Please advise. Travel due west to Winder Canyon. Find guide for Flats of T'Bool in Pius Pass.

May Dyer be with you. Oh, we gotta go back to... We gotta go to Wiener Canyon. Winder Canyon. We have to go back to Pius Pass is what we have to do. Sorry.

New Raku this. Oh, man. You just burned it. And that's you. I don't press send. I don't press send. Delete. Too fun.

Stupid joke. Stupid joke. Mud turns back into a giant bat because he can tell he's going to have to log you guys around again. What's the plan? I guess. I mean, yeah. Are we heading back to... So we're heading to Pius Pass.'s going to have to lug you guys around again. What's the plan? I guess, I mean, yeah, are we heading back to...

So we're heading to Pius Pass. We gotta go to Winder Canyon. Well, we need to find a guide. What was the message? Keep playing back. Well, good thing Bart has a great memory and here's the message again. Let me give it to you in Dr. Ahem's voice.

Gus ain't going to give it to you. Gus, if you'd like the story to progress, you might want to give it to us again. Is there a role for memory? It said west, right? Due west, yes. Please advise, travel due west to Winder Canyon. I just wanted someone to say the direction.

I knew that. I knew it was west. Find guide for Flats of Tabool in Pious Path. May Daya be with you. Why are we going to Winder Canyon if we need to go to Pious Pass? I'm assuming we need to stop at Pious Pass first, get a guide, then go to Winder Canyon. Well, from a geography perspective, Winder Canyon is like the larger area, the larger land area where Pious Pass is located. Pious Pass is a city located in the land of Winder Canyon. I figured.

All right. So everybody needs to load back up. We're going for a trip. We're heading back to Pius Pass. How did we leave relations in Pius Pass last time we left? Let's not worry about that now. I think we might have left Pius Pass not on the best terms. Everyone has a short memory.

Okay. Yeah. They're probably thinking about some new drama In the headlines We go west Are you going to go by air? Are you going to go by land? How are you going to do this? You turned into an owl, so I see you going by air again Are we flying on you?

What's the team think is the safe route? Yeah, we fly Let's fly Is everyone going to get on? You said an owl, right? Bat I get on his neck. No, no.

Everyone's getting on Mutt's back. We have the ship. No, we're getting the ship. We have the ship. But I still want to ride Mutt. Before I get back on the ship, I take in the Everwinter Woods one last time. I really just look around. I think you got to say that again.

Take two. Okay. Before I get back on, I take a long look at the Everwinter Woods before I go. Just to kind of have like a, you know, take in the sights. A moment. It's a very, yeah, it's a very significant place to me. Yeah, why don't you take a picture? It'll last longer.

All right. All right. Try to show that Kyborg isn't just a goof. No, no, I got you. He's got feelings. Oh, that's sweet. i'll paint you a picture when we uh get to the next stop oh thanks bird and photographic memory do you remember how to activate your uh your mode of transport cowabunga was it did bart have to say it i think it was

that's what it was yeah no kyborg it was cowabunga right yeah okay anyone can say it okay cowabunga It was Cowabunga, right? Yeah. Okay. That's what I thought. Anyone can say it. Okay. Cowabunga!

The hemimobile unfurls itself much like a transformer from a small box that you can carry into a giant flying contraption with a space for mud to pull it. So everyone loads up and heads out. I like whenever we make the thumbnails for the episodes and it's a drawing of mud as the animal of that episode because I just saw the last one that was a big old bat. If you want to see the images you can go to StinkyDragonPod on social media. Thanks Chris. Alright everybody's loaded up. Just for clarification

you all are flying because you kept saying ship so I want to make sure. Airship. Airship. Yeah ships are in the air. Gotcha. I want to make sure like for our audio listeners so it's not confusing. I played Mario 3. I know ships can fly. All right. With the mighty flapping of his wings, Mud pulls you all airborne in a Hammobile.

Mud, roll me a D6. I'm thinking no. Oh. If that's an option, I'll do it. D6. Good old-fashioned normal die. That's a one. Oh.

Yeah. You all have a super smooth takeoff, despite Mud's lack of experience with the ship itself and, you know, flying. It seems like he's done this a long time. You all feel very comforted. You're in good wings with Mud. Although at one point Mud does the thing where he just goes, and he goes down a little bit to make everybody's lunch just go right up.

Turbulence. You didn't do your pre-flight conversation talk thing. That's how I sound, apparently. There's no rules that an owl can't pull a glider. I'm a bat. Get my animal right. I could have sworn you said owl the first time. No, I said bat the entire episode. A bat. There's no rules. I'm a bat. Get my animal right. I could have sworn you said owl the first time. No, I said bat the entire episode.

A bat. There's no rules. I like owls. Can you be an owl? Can you be a cow? I think I can actually. Have I seen an owl? I've got to have seen an owl at this point, but have I seen a giant owl? There's a giant owl at the apothecary. I think I have seen an owl. Did you know that someone in here is possessed by an owl?

Which one of us? I've not seen a giant owl. I've seen a giant bat, though. Oh, okay. So you're a giant bat. You take off into the air. You're cruising smoothly. Do you want to do any in-flight announcements or anything to your passengers?

In the event of a crash landing, put your head between your legs and kiss your butt goodbye. Thank you for flying in air mud. Kymor says says do a barrel roll during the fight gum gum was working on something uh and he gives a kyborg a drawing he made of him and his family oh and it looks like it looked maybe like a kindergarten like finger painting you're getting better thank you you were you were at a preschool level of art previously yeah make um what kind of check can we do for that an art check um slight of hand performance i'm torn between performance and slight of hand let's call it slide a hand ooh 17.

it's a pretty good drawing it's not bad wow. Wow. Hey, this gets an A. This is going in the refrigerator back at home. On the what? The icebox preserver food. Yeah. Dr. Hem's been working on it. And then I handed you. It's you with your family. That's nice.

I roll it up to preserve it. I roll it up and then I put it in my quiver to preserve it. So I don't want any wrinkles on it or any folds. Got to keep it in mint condition. Yeah, we'll hang it as soon as we get back to the castle. I'm picturing the picture as like Kyborg looking like Kyborg does, but then his parents are just like bigger versions of Kyborg and his dad has a mustache.

And his sister's just a smaller version with like a skirt drawn on. That's basically it. All right. So, yeah, you make your way west. Winder Canyon isn't super far from Everwinter. After, you know, a brief period of time, you pass over a little bit of water and you see the land below you turn more arid, more like a desert. You see a town in the seemingly vast expanse of wasteland, and you recognize it from the air as being Tyus Pass. You come in for a landing, and Mud, go ahead and roll another d6.

Great. Let's see how this landing goes. Another one. Four. As you're coming in to land, maybe it's because of your large size, but you disturb a large flock of birds who take to the air and end up flying straight towards you. Make an athletics check. 21.

Oh, yeah. You manage to easily dodge them and... I eat one of them. No. And avoid any complications and you safely land on the ground in Pious Path. A sweltering heat bears down on your necks from the high noon sun. You finally arrive at a long stretch

of rusty red canyon walls and snakes as far as the eye can see. As you're walking along the parched soil, you feel your feet sink a few inches as it transitions to balmy sand. Quick sand. Um, everyone go ahead and roll a perception check. I was gonna say, I wonder how they were being perceived here,

because last time we were here, they hated us. Three. Ten. 21. 25. Ooh. Gum Gum, the stifling heat seems to already be getting to you. You think you see an oasis with palm trees just like 30 feet away.

Ooh. Let's go over there and take a bath. Mud, from your perspective, it appears you're standing at the northern end of town near the chapel. I mean, I guess what used to be the chapel. There's large stones, pews, and an altar once stood outside. Instead, there's a large wooden building.

Cyborg and Bart, you look past that building and you can see the main thoroughfare and you remember the well in the center of town. To your right, you see the barber shop and the little pecker saloon. To your left know you see the hump house stables the give and take trade out post and of course on the other end of town is the jailhouse but to the two of you something's not quite right it seems almost like a ghost town the only sound spilling your ears is the whistling of wind and the occasional tumbleweed we don't see any people maybe you see some shadows

lurking on the rooftops, but that's about it. Shadows on the rooftops? Could I, since I'm still a bat, could I get a little bit of a bird's eye view of what those shadows might have been? Or a bat's eye view? Yeah. Well, you don't see the shadows. Oh, right. Yeah, you don't see anything. No action whatsoever.

Hey, uh, Mud, I think we see some shadows walking around. You want to get a bird's eye view of what's going on? Technically, it'd be a bat's eye view, but yes, I'd love to go up and do that. How about an owl's eye view? I could. Owls have better vision. I guess you're going to click and get a sonar perspective on anything on top of the...

I'm going to click? It's like echolocation. Yeah, you think that bats click? Yeah. Yeah, they make like, eek, eek, click, click, click. I guess I don't think of it as clicking sound. What was that, Blaine? Eek, eek, click, click, eek, eek, e i don't think of it i think of them like screeching do bats fly in the day are they they can yes they're not they're not like vampires assuming they're not rabid you only see rats uh bats in the day when

they're like rabid yeah but i'm a giant bat that is a druid okay i'm not an actual bat from the giant bath we gotta hurry this mission up. He's gotta get to a bridge underneath it. They totally can. They totally can fly in the day. Why would bats be flying during the day? They can. They're not separated from their mother. Stop looking. I'm not

an actual wild bat. Okay, okay, okay. Because I was flying the ship, right? Yeah, yeah. I just started thinking about it. I'm sure our listeners are curious. Alright, yeah. Because I was flying the ship, right? Yeah, yeah. No, no. I just started thinking about it. I'm sure our listeners are curious.

All right. Yeah, go ahead and make an investigation check, Mud. This is just upset because you're not an owl. How much cooler would that be, right? 15. I agree. You know, you get up into the air to try to take a look at the shadows that you were told are on the rooftop.

And from your bat's eye perspective, or an owl's eye perspective, you know, you confirm that the town does indeed seem vacant of any local residents. And you spot signs maybe on some of the buildings of, like, forced entry and burn marks. Like on the roofs? Just in general, all around them. Burn marks. And the only building that seems to be secure from your perspective is the jailhouse. Even the jailhouse is a giant

hole in the top for some reason. Hopefully they've repaired that since then. I think that means we should probably go look at the jailhouse. Let's go look at the jailhouse. You should probably come tell us. I've come down from on high. Mud, what did you see with your owl eyes?

Do you see a pogo stick from up there? Where did we leave that pogo stick? On the roof. But we told them about it, too. Yeah, Gus didn't want me to have it, so then it shot off into the distance the last time. So, okay, listeners who might not know, we've been to Pius Pass.

We did a whole jail break-in. There's a giant hole in the jailhouse roof where we tried to get in to save who was it mud was it you and me or is it bart uh it was i think mud yeah it was me and uh gum gum were in the jail cell yeah so me and bart were trying to get you guys out and we had a pogo stick that got lost that's what i remember about pious pass you and you and kyberg were having your little dangle feet off the roof, you know, boy time. Yeah. Yeah.

Our bro time. Yeah. Yeah. Me and, you know, my cool friend Kyborg. We're just, we're equally as cool. Do y'all remember what you encountered in the jailhouse? Just, I'm just curious. A zombie girl.

Zombie. Yeah. Didn't we, wasn't there like a couple of prisoners there that we like took some stuff from their cubbies and stuff like that? Or was that a different? No, that's the other place. That was the Walrus town. Right. This was the place where it was the

sheriff's daughter was a zombie. And a gum gum handcuff her. So when we last left, that's what was happening. Wasn't it just a bunch of zombies? No, we resolved it and then Paralite took credit for resolving it. The Evergarden showed up.

And we got in trouble for our break-in. Yes. All right. So the entire town seems to have some break-ins and some burn marks, so some sort of fight happened here. But the only place that seems to be secure, and they successfully repaired the hole in the roof, is the prison. The jailhouse.

The jailhouse. Should we be sneaky? I don't know. There doesn't seem to be anyone around, so maybe we just walk over. Okay. If there's shadows in the tops, though, I mean, something's watching us. Something. All right, let's go.

And Gum Gum starts walking. We should just act natural. What's the marching order? Could I maybe hover above everybody? Air support? Yeah. Okay. A little overwatch?

I'll walk first. Bart leading the way. I'll cover Bart's back. Longbow drawn. In the middle. And Gum Gum in the back. With Mud flying over. Mud UAV online. Airstrike ready.

I mean, technically, I have an ability called Blindsight, so I can actually perceive my surroundings without my eyesight. Just like a bat. Yeah, like we said, clicking. You laughed at me when I said that. No, I laughed at you calling it clicking. What would you call it?

Screeching. Bats don't screech. You're not an owl. See why I'm confused now? Owls screech. All right. Everyone's pretty. We're all good.

We're all okay. Yeah, so like I mentioned earlier. What? All right. Everyone's pretty. We're all good. We're all okay. Yeah. So like I mentioned earlier. What? There's bats in here. They're clicking. I hate it. I don't think that's clicking.

Anyways, let's move on. Like I mentioned, the jailhouse is on the opposite end of town from where you all were. You all were on the northern end of town and the jailhouse is on the far southern end. And so you begin walking down the main thoroughfare of Pius Pass down towards the jailhouse. I imagine Bart is walking with a bit of

a bow leg, a little desperado style. And he's making his own little sounds of cling, cling, cling. All of a sudden I'm talking with a southern accent. Anyone here messes with my party, they're going to get what's coming to them. I like this Bart. And all of a sudden, he has a mustache now.

Do you have your suspenders as well? Oh, I sure do. And I've opened my shirt up to reveal them. Cool. All right. So you arrive at the jailhouse, and, you know, there's a door facing north, facing the direction you all came from.

Art spits on the ground. Does someone want to try the door? Okay. Oh, thanks, Gum-Gum. Gum-Gum, you try to open the door, but it appears to be locked. It appears to be locked. Thank you, Gum-Gum.

I have my thieves' tools, so I can give it a go. Wait, wait, we have learned this. I perceive my thieves tools, so I can give it a go. Wait, wait. We have learned this. I perceive if there's any traps. Check. You check. Check. I check.

Check for traps. What do I roll? We'll call that an investigation check. Investigation. Yes, yes. He has a negative on that. 16. It's all right.

Yeah, you don't detect any traps. Okay. Can I walk around and try and peek through any windows? Yeah, when you go around to look through the windows, all the windows are boarded up. Oh. All right. Well, I have my thieves tools, so sleight of hand? Dexterity check.

Dexterity. Yes, yes, yes. Ooh, six. I'm going to roll that again. Okay. You're using lucky, I assume, right? I mean, we're not in combat. I could just take a quick breather and then do it again, right?

Well, you rolled a one. I'm just pointing that out. So I just want to know if you're trying again or if you're using lucky. What's your approach here? Can I try something? Well, no. He has to resolve this. I don't want to blow a lucky, but yeah, I'll blow a lucky. All right. I'm lucky.

Here we go. Gus was raring to break your lock. They were going to break. Nine. Well, that's a save. Oh, sorry. Let me do that. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. We'll figure it out.

Four plus five is still a nine. No, you try to open up the lock, but it just doesn't seem. It must be like a master locksmith who crafted this lock because you're unable to crack it. What's taking so long? Bart, did you have an idea? Could I try cast heat metal on the doorknob? Heat metal on the doorknob. Like in the middle.

Yeah, you could do that. I pull my thieves tools out really fast. Okay, I'm going to cast heat metal on the doorknob. Okay, good call. I'm going to change my spell from heat metal as well if you already have it. It's a good one to have. Yeah.

It's a good disarming spell. Yeah, so it begins glowing red hot. Hey, Gum Gum. Yeah. Hit that doorknob really hard. With your axe? Yeah. Okay.

And I try and hit it with my axe. Do you want me to roll for it? Yeah, I guess make an attack roll. Door. It is your mortal enemy. Yeah. Yeah. He found us somehow.

He follows us everywhere That's a 22 Oh amazing Why is that a 22? Because it's a plus It's not rolling In D&D Beyond I have to add the 2 manually

You have to add the 2 Chris points You have to carry the 2 Alright yeah 22 yeah You hit Go ahead and roll some damage for that For audio listeners It was a 12 plus 8

But in D&D Beyond It didn't have the other plus 2 And that's 15. 15. Gotta add the plus 2. The heat metal must have softened up the lock and the door mechanism, and GumGum brings his random acts of kindness down very

swiftly on them, and they break off the knob and the locking mechanism. Yeah! Go GumGum! We picked the lock! With my big lock-picking kit. Go right in, GumGum. We picked the lock. With my big lock picking kit. Go right in, Gum-Gum. Okay. And I open the door.

Okay, yeah. You open the door. And then I now. Hi. Your door was locked. We fixed it. You open the door and there's a young pie inside who says. What did you do?

Oh, no. You broke the door. Yeah, it was broken. Quick, get in. Okay. I scurry in. Okay. No, I go in.

I was waiting. I guess the party is split. I barrel roll in, and then I also try to help close the door back up. How? Actually, I could help. I look. Well, I mean, we should close it,

but then also I guess I look for like a chair and something to wedge. Quick. So that it leverages. Give me your immovable rod. Yeah, that actually works. Quick, go, come, go. Yeah, I put the immovable rod in the way of the door.

Okay. Yeah, the pie seems less panicked about it. And she looks around at the four of you and says, I never thought I'd see you four again. Do we recognize who this is? Wait, who are you? It's a pale pie, like a pale white pie with red eyes. So like a cheesecake?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And she seems to be like armed to the teeth with like weapons all over. Like not only on her body, but it's, you know, in the jailhouse laid out as well. Is it the daughter? Yeah. Is it the zombie daughter? Yes, you recognize her as Pat Earns. Oh, hi.

Okay. Glad you look a lot better. Yes. It seems that you've done a little bit of some cheeky fortification in here. What happened to Pais Paz? Oh, we've been under siege for some time now. Much of the townspeople have been taken away. All that's left are my mother, and we're trying to get our kidnappers

so we can recover the people taken from the town. Who's kidnapping you? Oh, it's the Taboolians. Oh, well, it's funny because we actually have to find a guide for the Flats of Tabool. I wonder if there's a correlation here. Why would you go for the Flats of Tabool. I wonder if there's a correlation here. Why would you go to the Flats of Tabool? I don't know. We hear it's wonderful this time of year.

Yeah. You know, I'm on this mission to see all the areas of the world. And the Flats of Tabool, I mean, they're just on the list. I pull by a side and go, Bart has a terminal illness and we're trying to get his bucket list. Just kidding. Just kidding. I don't do that. You turn around and I just smile and wave. Gum Gum is

freaking out. Why didn't you tell me? No, we're trying to find the Diagem Diagems. I keep thinking there's another word that goes after trying to find the Diagems. I keep thinking there's another word that goes after that, but the Diagems. And our next place that we need to go look is the Tabulian. Plats of Tabul. But you said the Tabulians are the ones ransacking this place, huh?

Oh, yeah. They're a cold-hearted, shameful group of people. Why? Well, they've kidnapped our entire town, for starters. Okay. What do they have against you? Is there like a long-standing feud? Yeah, who started this feud?

Well, they did, obviously. As far as I'm aware, we've never done anything to provoke such law-breaking. Obviously, we wouldn't expect otherwise. Why now? Don't know. They lived to the south of us for years. We've each kept our distance from each other peacefully. But recently, for some reason, they've become emboldened to attack Pius Pass.

Why would they kidnap instead of kill? Like, why? What do they want? We've been wondering the same thing. That's what we're hoping to find out. Okay. Where's your mom? She's over at the Hump House stables.

We're setting up a trap to try to lure out some tabooleans to capture them so we can interrogate them. Can you do us a favor and vouch for us being good people? Because your mom is probably not going to be super stoked to see us. I wouldn't worry too much about that. Sheriff Gove's got more pressing matters on her mind at the moment. And how did you become not, uh, mean? Zombie. Oh, you mean the crit curse? I've been

taking an ish Bjorn elixir every day to keep the curse at bay and make me appear closer to a regular pie. Oh, she's doing one of those cleanses. Okay, that's neat. And I give her a hug. Could we have a few doses of that to give to Gum Gum and see if that might kind of take the edge off on him a little bit? Make him a regular pie? No, it's Bart who's sick.

We need to get Bart this medicine. Right, so your mother's over at the Hump House stables, and you're over here. There's a secret tunnel system. Oh, there is. Oh, that's a good memory, Kyborg. I was wondering if anyone's going to remember that.

I feel like that's worthy of an inspiration. Yeah, I was about to say, give yourself an inspiration. I was literally hovering over that. Almost there. That's good. That's a good memory. All right. Well, let's go reconnect with your mom, who is definitely a friend of ours.

Wait, you have your immovable rod. Should we try to jam this? I'm leaving it there. No, you can't leave the immovable rod. It's the immovable rod. I'll come back and get it. It's holding the door closed. I want to maintain the door. And we never saw it again. No, I will go get it.

I'll send back Gum Gum to get it. Okay. So you all are taking the passageway back to go over to the stables from the jailhouse? Is everyone's going? Yeah, I guess. Do you have any advice for us for talking to your mom and anything like that? Or even advice for fighting off these Tabulians?

Are they resistant to anything or? Well, remember to look up. They can attack from above. Oh, okay. So can I. Can you actually describe what the Tabulians are like? What would they look like and stuff? So that we're prepared when we see them.

They're called a race called Cake. What? Because they're pies. Pies versus cakes. Oh, Micah got it right away. Micah was like, uh. It's because it was a bad joke. Micah got it. I posted this online, but I am so appreciative

of how many puns Micah writes into this campaign. It's like, I've never met someone who likes puns more than I do, and I finally found them. So you're welcome, listeners, for this pun-tastic adventure. She says, To you and I, the Tabulians would appear to be

a flying snake-like people. They have serpentine bodies with wings, but no legs or arms. Oh, okay. Oh my god, does Brink Tussler have a Tabulian as a pet? I mean, it wasn't called a Tabulian, it was called a flying snake. Yeah, but I Oh, my God. Does Brink Tussler have a taboolyon as a pet? I mean, it wasn't called a taboolyon. It was called a flying snake. Yeah, but I mean, she just described flying snakes, though.

So no arms and no legs, you said? Yeah. What was that guy's name? Something Brutus? Was it Bruce? Bruce? No. No, no.

His name, it was like, I don't know. Brink Snake? Yeah. No, it wasn't Bruce. No, it was like an old, oh, Jesus. I might actually have it. It was like an old... Oh, Jesus. I might actually have it. It was like an old general from history. Do they talk?

Yes, they can speak. That's why we want to capture one to interrogate him. Okay. All right, let's go through the tunnel. Okay. Yeah, you'll go through the tunnel. Some of you went through this before. I think all of us.

We all did. Was it everyone? Yeah, I think all of us did. You all go through the tunnel and, you know, just like before, you come out on the other end at the Hump House Stable. You know, you peek out from the trap door, which was down at the base of the stairs here in the stables. And you look around and it's exactly how you remember. You know, there's downstairs, there's six camel stalls, all of which are occupied. Floor's covered in hay.

And there's a stairwell in the corner that leads up to a loft. do we think that her mom is up there oh no you saw like visibility you see her on the lower level here uh you see uh the sheriff hiding she seems to be unaware of you i think uh hannibal hannibal hannibal the snake sorry um i think i should be the one to go talk to mom i'm pretty charming and uh i i feel like i'm the least intimidating of the group mom's like you yeah yeah yeah yeah that's uh actually what i have on my business card mom's like me bart has a business card just one though you all know bart so he's never had to give it to you yeah exactly i give it to people and then i take it back yeah i'll take that back it's got like a little string attached to it, like a retractable.

All right, so I walk out to mom and I go, hello, ma'am. Be not afraid. I am Bart. She turns around quickly and looks at you and says, Bart, what are you doing back here? We've come to find something, but in the process, we saw that this town has been just demolished, and we actually just talked to your daughter, who's looking great, by the way. You saw Pat? Yes, and we chatted with her for a bit. Caught up.

What did she tell you? She says that you guys are spreading out across town to try to catch some Tabulians and interrogate them. Is that true? Yes, unfortunately. And I hate to say it, but we actually could use your help right about now. Well, good thing you don't just have me.

You have all my friends! And he motions to the... Do you do some jazz hands? Yes. I let out a giant screech. I do jazz hands as well. I jump out and go, hi. The sheriff's face drops a little bit. Oh, it's everyone. Yes.

Great. Yeah, more help. Yeah. We're infinites now. Wee. Oh, could you get a hold of the Evergards? They really seemed to help us out last time. Oh, no, we destroyed them.

The Paralite is done. We've freed you from her reign. You are safe now. Okay, okay. I guess y'all will have to do. I'm curious if you might have more insight than your daughter. Why are the Tabulians

kidnapping your people now? I wish I knew. We've been trying to round some up and ask them ourselves. We still don't know why or where they have taken our friends. How long ago did they start attacking your city? At this point, it's been about a week or so. Oh, wow. So you guys have just been holed up here.

And do they only kidnap people? They don't ever? No murders. Every time they've attacked, it's just to take people away. How do they carry them if they have no hands and arms? Yeah, how do they carry them? You can wrap your tail. They wrap around their victims,

constricting them, and then take off into the air. Oh, that's metal. That's part of the reason we've had trouble tracking them. They fly off, leaving no trail to follow. Wait a minute. We did see shadows.

Do you think those shadows were the snake people? You saw shadows where? Uh, out. The rooftops. Out from the rooftops out in the streets. Then there's no time to waste. We need to initiate our plan right now. Oh, no.

Oh, crap. The shadows are above me. Yeah. Wait, they were higher than me? You couldn't get a good view of them. All right. Okay, no. Oh, crap. The shadows are above me. Yeah. Wait, they were higher than me? You couldn't get a good view of them. Alright. Um, okay, yeah, I guess that's them. Activate the plan, ma'am. Well, I was gonna go outside

and, hmm, on second thought, I'll send you folks out. Okay, alright. Y'all need to head outside and draw the tabooleans out from hiding toward the center of town. Once they're out in the open and distracted, Deputy Pat will launch an electrified net to catch them. Oh, neato.

Hey, I have an idea. Your immovable rod. Can we tie ourselves to it? So they can't take us? Yeah. All right. I think that's actually not a good idea. All four of us tied to it?

I like that this is the relationship now that Gum-Gum has all the good ideas of how to use my immovable rod. It's because he clearly has been thinking about it nonstop. Yeah, I think that's something I'd like to do. Could I run back and get my rod? Yeah. But then her door won't be secure anymore. Can we also board it up? I assume you meant through the tunnel.

Yeah. Yeah. I just don't know. That's what I do. If the door will stay closed. Can we help board it up or something? Put some chairs and stuff. Although she's going to be running out anyways.

Oh, I see what you're saying. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. I was thinking the tunnel door for some reason. We broke the jailhouse door. Yeah, I got you. I got you. I was just super confused.

That was my fault. I was just super confused for a second. Can I ask the sheriff if I can file a missing vehicle report? I had a pogo stick a long time ago in this town. Well, Kyber's doing that. Can we... So the plan is you're going to go through the tunnel underground back to the jailhouse, get the immovable

rod, come out the door and then... Do I have time to do that and come back? Sure. So you're going to take the immovable rod, then how are you going to re-secure the door? With like a chair. I like the confidence in your plan. Well, the shadow snakes,

they saw us go in this door. We should go out this door. Oh wait, yeah? Yeah, because otherwise they'll be like, how'd they get in there? Sure, why not? We might reveal a strategic advantage that they have with the secret passage. Party comes with me to jailhouse and we enact our plan outside that door.

And the plan is? The. And the plan is? The plan is. The plan is that Gum-Gum's going to secure a rope to me, and then he's going to secure that rope to the movable rod, and I'll be bait. Wait, there's a ceiling. There's a big hole in the ceiling from last time, right? You want to fly out of that? Of the jailhouse? Is the hole still there?

I assumed it's fixed. It's been fixed. Okay. I wanted to be bait. You want to be bait? I think we could all be bait. That's fine. Maybe we should all tie.

All right. We're all tied to the movable rod. Where is the movable rod? Secured again? I want to say it's in the jailhouse still. And we are going out the door with ropes. I bet it got stolen. We open the door, put the ropes through the door

hole, and then we go back out and we let her do the immovable rod back on the door. That works. So the door is secure and the ropes are secure. And you're being used as bait tied to the immovable rod. Airtight plan. We have to be very performative and

make them come to us. Did someone say performative? Bart starts whipping out his loot. If Bart had a tail, he would be wagging. Perform, perform. Now. What was your plan for catching him in the net? Deputy Pat will fire a shocking net

and capture them once they're in a range. Yeah, what's that range? Just try to get them as close to the jailhouse as you can. Okay. You got it. Make them easy targets for Pat as possible. Easy peasy. We got this.

Cool. So you all go through the tunnel back over to the jail and you begin enacting your plan. I want to thank everyone for listening every week. We really appreciate it. If you could tell a friend, tell a loved one, let someone know

how much you enjoy this podcast. Tell them to listen. Download it on their phone when they're not looking and be like, oh, how did that get there? I don't know. And how you can also

please interact with us on social media, Twitter and Instagram at StinkyDragonPod. Use hashtag StinkyDragonPod. And of course, there's a new subreddit where you can meet other people who enjoy this podcast talk about this podcast with them it's at stinky dragon podcast over on reddit.com if you interact with us on social media you may have an npc named after you in an episode like judge talon who's named after at talon tardis or barkeep savage who's named after at j sav 86 uh i don't know if we

explicitly named that uh barkeep in the episode no one asked no one asked the barkeep what his name was it was barkeep savage and of course we have our own friends uh people that we work with who uh do vo for some voices like the monolith voice is voiced by our own bk little girl loose aka young paralite voiced by ash schmidt and crystallina, aka Young Paralite, voiced by Ash Schmidt, and Kristalina, you know, Kyborg's mom, is voiced by Cooley Smiley. So thanks! We're not in combat yet or anything, but let's go ahead and roll initiative preemptively,

just so I can get you guys in order that y'all are going to act and do this stuff. Nat 20, 25. Ugh, 9. 19. Ooh, Nat 20. That's 22. You rolled a 12. No, I rolled twice.

Oh. Why do you roll twice again? Advantage. Curse points. On initiative? Yeah. My whatever barbarian thing. Gus doesn't believe.

I'm looking. No, no, no. It's feral instinct. Checking your homework. You have advantage on initiative rolls. Cool. Also, if you're surprised at the beginning of combat but not incapacitated, you can act normally on your first turn. Alright. Okay, so I got

Bart with a 25, Gum Gum with a 22, Mud with a 19, and Kyborg with a 9. Correct. Okay, so we'll say you got the immovable rod put up. You're all tied to it. Bart, you're first to act. What is your move? Oh, you already know it, baby. Bart starts to play a little ditty song on his

loot. Okay. Just like to keep everyone entertained? Yeah, Bart starts to play a little ditty song on his lute. Okay. Just like to keep everyone entertained? Yeah, to try to draw some attention to them. Okay, so do you do this from inside the jailhouse? Outside. Okay, yeah. So you step out, open up the door, go out there and begin playing a little tune on your musical instruments. Exactly. Okay. Yeah, that definitely seems like an

attention getter to me. Should I roll for performance? Yeah, go ahead and make a performance check. 23. Do this in honor of the Barter Burr shop. Yes. Which is now closed for business, I'm assuming. Maybe after we retire, I'll reopen it. I play my new song, Snakes on a Jailhouse. Bart, you step out and begin singing your new hit song,

Snakes on a Jailhouse. Snakes on a Jailhouse. How does it go again? Slithering, sliding, all on the roof. They're coming to get you. They're gonna boof Oh, that's absolutely great. I love it. That's a bop.

Go ahead and give yourself an inspiration. That's great. Can Gum Gum be like, yeah, and start dancing and playing on his drum? It's a heavy metal song. Well, you're next, Gum Gum. What do you do? That's exactly what I do. I dance and play on the drum.

So you go out? Yeah. Do you have something you want to bang on? I have a drum. Do you have a drum? You do? I believe so. Yeah.

He does. Everyone's saying you do. All right. I forgot. Yeah. You go out. Make a performance check. I should probably redo my song.

Okay. A seven. You say with a poof. With a poof, okay, yeah. Slither and slide in, all on the roof. The snakes are gonna get you, they're gonna poof. Oh, yeah, because they disappear. They're kidnapping everybody. They're gonna poof Oh yeah, because they disappear They're kidnapping everyone Yeah, yeah, yeah

Wow They're definitely not boofing Gum Gum, you roll a seven You're playing on the drum You're very off rhythm But Bart is such a consummate performer That he's able to keep playing his hit song I drown out his drum beats

You don't need it to maintain the rhythm But you're putting good effort in. Mud. I take to the skies. That's not an instrument. Are you also, but you're tied as well. Okay. I'm like a kite.

And I start flying in a circle and screeching and making noise and flapping. Clicking. Nope, I screech. You're not an owl. So he's an owl? They screech. They screech. Okay. Yeah, you're up an owl who's now they screech they screech okay uh yeah you're up in the air as a bat making noise flying around in a circle you didn't say screeching uh kyborg

what do you want to do uh i have an arrowhead and i'm hitting my metal arm like it's a steel drum to go along with bart's song. You make a performance check too then. Negative two. And it is a, oh, 20 minus two. Oh, not bad. You go out there and it's not the best sounding performance because of Gum Gum's out of beat drum. But y'all are managing. You're making the best out of it.

It's experimental. And as you all are doing this, a few taboolyans seemingly slink out of the shadow and start closing the distance onto you guys. Hey guys, y'all want to come dance? Yeah, we all have to congregate in a small, tight area to all together now. Clump together as tight as you can. I'm just going to play a quick sound for Gus. See, that's the sound.

Are you playing Batman? Yeah, that's a big old man bat. The first episode. Man bat. You sound like a dinosaur. Yeah, I was thinking you were playing like something from Jurassic Park. Yeah, I thought, yeah.

I'm glad Mike knew that sound. That's Batman animated series, I think. We should do the math and find out how much of this episode was used to discuss what sound bats make. What do you think? Leave us a message. Tag us using hashtag StinkyDragonPod.

You can contact us on Twitter and Instagram at StinkyDragonPod. Ben, just put a poll out right now. No context. What sound do bats make? If you had to describe a bat sound, how would you describe it? Screech or click? Screech, click, results. Okay, I went ahead and rolled some initiative for them. That being said,

you all see there are four taboolyans that have closed into you, and they're drawing close. Bart, what do you want to do? Are they like all around us, or are they all in one kind of cluster? It seems like they came two from the west and two from the east. Like they're kind of flanking, doing like a pincer maneuver. So there's like two on one side, two on the other? Correct. Okay.

Oh, if I may, should we disable them and not kill them? Because like like, we still... We want to interrogate them. Pies Pass might have a thing going on with them, but we don't, so I don't know if we want to kill. Well, I mean, if you kill them, they can't tell people that we killed them. Right. Well, the plan is to get them all in, like, a close spot so that Pat can come out with that electric net and cover them. So, I mean, as long as we get a couple, we can probably kill a few.

Yeah, we just need one. We don't know what they're like. They could talk. They do talk. They can sing. Okay. So who's... It's Gum-Gum? Bart. Bart's turn. What you gonna do? Monica just said they cannot do jazz hands.

They cannot do jazz hands. Could I try to command one of them to halt? Sure. Okay. So do you want to do one of the ones that are coming in from the left or one of the ones that are coming in from the right? Let's go with the right. Okay.

So you speak a one-word command to the creature that must succeed on a wisdom saving throw or follow the command on its next turn. So the wisdom saving throw is 14. Their wisdom save is plus two. Okay. I like those odds. 19 plus two, 21. Okay, never mind.

It saves. Okay. So it doesn't work. Mm-mm. Right. I don't think that counts as an action. Oh, it's a bonus action. It's a bonus action.

Yeah, it's a bonus action. So that means I could do something else, yeah an action. Oh, it's a bonus action. It's a bonus action. So that means I could do something else, yeah? Yes. Okay, cool. I would like to cast Cloud of Daggers. Are we sure we're in combat with them? 100%. We're an initiative.

Sure, but they haven't attacked us. I also still feel strongly that we shouldn't kill. We can damage. We can damage. Sure. Why don't we try and get them to come? And on your turn, you can. Bart is choosing violence.

I just want to hurt them a little bit. Bart woke turn, you can. Bart is choosing violence. I just want to, like, hurt them a little bit. Bart woke up, chose violence. That's what we were dancing. I'll cast cloud of daggers over the ones on the right. Okay. So just for clarity's sake, your command is part of your mantle of majesty. And command is a concentration spell. Okay.

And just to be clear, when it failed on this enemy, you drop the concentration and drop that spell and instead switch to Cloud of Daggers, which is also a concentration spell. Okay. Just to be like 100% clear on everything. Yeah, yeah. Okay, yeah. And so I'm sorry, you cast Cloud of Daggers. I'll go for the right one.

The ones coming from the right? Yeah. All right. So yeah, go ahead. Let's see. Cloud of Daggers. Good old reliable AoE. Little five foot cube.

We'll say that you're able to, yeah, get both of them so on its turn it'll take damage should I roll for damage now yeah good all right that is 12 points of damage shuttle decent roll thank you someone who has their like code you know pin number two three four three they're just freaking out right okay cool uh anything else uh you want to do bart uh no okay i just wanted to hurt him a little bit yeah i got you rough them up some gum gum your turn how far away are they the ones that are in the cloud of daggers uh they're closing they're not too far away i'll say they're let's say 15 feet away uh or no we don't know their mean yet and then i can i run over and try and pull the two out of the cloud of daggers you're gonna get damaged okay uh yeah i think gum gum would know

this just to just so you know gum gum would know that if you wanted to try to prevent them from getting damaged you could either go up and try to move them or try to break bart's concentration because if bart can't concentrate on the spell, the spell goes away. Yeah, I think I'm going to try and move him because I feel like that's more... Gum-Gum's like a hands-on take. Yeah, and I also don't think he would try and, I don't know, mess with Bart.

Yeah, no, I got you. Just making sure you were aware of the option there. Yeah, so you move over there and... I'm going to move you. There's lots of daggers. I don't know why. Okay, you're going to make like a grapple grapple check i guess with them to move them uh you make like a i assume you would do like a strength check sure and you would um i just want to have you do it twice

one for each of them let's do one at a time and i'll do mine uh that's a save so we'll just take that nine well your strength is plus five so 14 right, I'm gonna do mine mine is plus four. That's an eight So yeah, you're able to grab one of the snakes and what do you do you like shove it or do you like grab him? And throw it Yeah, I guess I'll like throw it or shove it out of the way whatever I can show it Okay. Yeah, you'd like shove one of the snakes and then I guess I can't yeah I'll say you can do the other one okay just because i think it's really fun uh that's a 11 uh 16 i got a 10 so yeah you're able to shove the other one as well this one i'll just grab and

and can i run with like yeah uh but that being said you do take damage for entering the cloud of daggers and grabbing them. So you take 12 points of damage. So picture you've got like this snake and a headlock. I'm sorry, come with me. I wanna help. I'm Gum Gum. It's like groaning and struggling against you, but you know, you're overpowering it. Is there anything else you can do, Gum Gum?

I guess I'll run over to where the other one is and hold on to the- The one you shoved? Yeah. Okay, so you shoved one, grabbed the other, and then ran to the one you shoved yeah okay so you shoved one grabbed the other and then ran to the one you shoved yeah okay i am come come i try and talk to it okay all right that's it for your turn yeah okay it's actually the turn of the one you grabbed it's gonna try to escape again so go ahead and make a strength check again that's uh 22 22 yeah and this one rolled a seven. So it's unable to escape your grasp.

It's like hissing and trying to escape from you. Actually, even though you have it constricted, it tries to spit at you. Make a dexterity saving throw. We'll take the first one. 15. That's 22. Oh, right. You rolled five.

It's in that 20. Yeah, 22. Yeah. As you're apologizing to the snake you have in a headlock, it opens up its mouth and tries to spit at you, and this glob of goo shoots at your face, but you're able to dodge out of the way. And you wanted to save these guys.

Maybe it's friendly goo. Yeah, please, I'll let you go if you tell me why you're being mean. Mud, it's your turn. Then after Mud, it's going to be Kyborg. Okay. being mean mud it's your turn then after mud it's going to be kyborg okay um i guess mud would try to i think i would want to try to like dive bomb one of the other ones on the other side okay in attempts of like grounding it okay yeah so what are you trying to do like a grapple check and then like take it to the ground yeah i guess like just kind of putting my full giant bat weight against it.

You could either make a strength or a dexterity check to try to grapple it. I would assume you would do strength because of what you're describing, but I mean, you have the option. I can do a strength check. Only a seven. Okay, it has a plus four. I'll say it's going to use dexterity actually because it's trying to dodge out of the way.

That's actually a negative one. Oops, it's a 19. Yeah, it manages to dodge out of the way. That's actually a negative one. Oops. It's a 19. Yeah, it manages to dodge out of the way successfully. Okay. Yeah, I guess. I don't really know if there's anything else for mud to be doing up in the sky other than acting like bait.

So I guess I just keep circling them. Okay. Kyborg, you're up. We've talked about this in the past, but like using dulled arrows or arrows that are not made for killing. Can I use those? Yeah, sure.

Okay. Well, then the ones, the taboo lines that are not currently engaged, I guess there's like one, right? One's in the cloud of daggers. One's being hugged by Gum-Gum. The other one's being attacked by... So Gum-Gum took out... Well, Gum-Gum's occupied two of them. He shoved one out of the cloud of daggers,

and he's headlocked with the other one. Mud went to the other two and tried to dive bomb one of them. and there's another one on that same side where mud is that has not been engaged yet okay i'm gonna engage the one that has not been engaged yet okay will you marry me um and then i'm gonna shoot them with the longbow of crystallina is this your foreign enemy no i'm actually i i've been looking that over i've been rereading it a bunch of times because like i i want to make sure I don't mess that up. And also, since I don't intend to kill this person, it would not be smart for me to do that.

Just making sure. So that's a 21. Oh, yeah, that hits. Nice. And I don't want to kill it. I do six damage. Like your subdual damage. Yeah.

Yeah, you hit it with an arrow, like a blunted, dulled arrow, and it doesn't like that. Okay. Uh, come peacefully. And then I shoot it again. Come peacefully or I'll be forced to shoot again. 18.

Uh, that hits. Okay. Nine points of damage. Again, subdual damage. Okay. Yeah. It pitches in your direction. Okay.

And then I guess it would be an action for me to assist Gum Gum wrangling that one. Okay. Yeah, it pitches in your direction. Okay. And then I guess it would be an action for me to assist Gum Gum wrangling that one. Yeah? Yeah. You could move there, but you couldn't actually act since you took an attack action. I'm good. I'm good. Actually, I'll hang out near Bart to

make sure that they're okay and don't get lifted off because they're the lightest member. You tiny little munchkin, you're going to get lifted off the ground. Da-da-da. All right. It's their turn. Then after this couple of them, then after them, it's going to be part. So it's the turn of the one over by you, Gum-Gum, that you do not have headlocked.

It's the one that you shove. It like lashes out and tries to hit you. It hits AC 9. Yeah. What? I said, yeah, it doesn't work. So, no, it doesn't hit. Yeah, sorry. AC 9. Yeah.

Yeah, that doesn't hit. Okay, yeah, so it misses. It misses and it hisses. Nice. We love the rhymes. Yeah, and it lashes out and tries to bite you. AC 11. Yeah, it's not gonnases. Nice. We love the rhymes. Yeah, and it lashes out and tries to bite you. AC 11. Yeah, it's not going to hit. Sorry.

Sorry. Sorry. All right. So it misses. Swing and a miss. The one that Mud tried to dive bomb at, it's going to lash out at Mud, hitting AC. Ooh, that's a critical. 27.

Oof. Bring it, chump. Ooh, that's a critical. 27. Bring it, chump. 80 points of damage. 80 points of damage. I'm negative 10 dead. 21 points of damage. Whoa. Ouch.

It's just crit damage. And it's turned the tables on you, and it now has you grappled. That's right where I wanted you. Oh, so I'm actually no longer a bat. Oh, okay. Do you fall? I mean, it's grappled. That's right where I wanted you. Oh, so I'm actually no longer a bat. Oh, okay. Oh, God. Do you fall? I mean, it's grappled me. Well, it grappled you, but it can fly.

That's what I mean. Yeah, yeah. So you don't fall. You're still in the air. So technically, I'm still flying. Well, what's the carrying capacity of these little flying aliens? Yeah. I'm a big boy.

So now that it has you grappled, it tries to bite you. Take a little taste of mud. Mm, earthy. It hits AC 26. Yeah, that's going to hit. So it bites you doing seven points of damage. And you must make a constitution saving throw. Cast a season saving throw.

Constitution saving throw. You still want to save these guys, GumGum? 19. 19. You feel a little save these guys, GumGum? 19. You feel a little queasy, a little nauseous, but it quickly passes. Darn tootin'. Okay, that was that one. Then now it's the one that Kyborg fired at. So it sees its friend has mud.

Kyborg and Bart are by each other. Hello. Hi. Gum Gum's over there with the other two. Just waving at it together. Whee. Whee. Okay, yeah, it's going to fly over to Gum Gum,

since that's where I think it sees value in doubling up and tag teaming on Gum Gum. Oh, wait, tripling up. No, no, actually, I got an even better idea. It turns and looks at Kyborg and Bart and spits out some liquid at both of you. Both of you need to make a dexterity saving throw. Oh, dear.

Dexterity saving throw. Watch out. 22. 22. 22. We high five. If I was mean, I'd be making you guys do this at disadvantage

because you're tied. Okay. Yeah, you both dodge out of the way. Some thick glob of liquid lands between you two where you all were standing before. Icky. Then, yeah, it flies over to where Gum-Gum is, and it tries to attack Gum-Gum. So has Gum-Gum got three of these things on him now? Yeah, but he's got one in a headlock.

It hits AC 25. Yeah, that'll hit. No. You're supposed headlock uh it hits ac25 uh yeah that'll hit no you're supposed to say no no that will hit uh okay it hits you it does four points of bludgeoning damage okay and it grapples you i'm trying to think if you're raging right no i hadn't written oh you're not he's not he's not been fighting okay no so then it grapples you but i'll say you're still grappling the other one okay so he has two on on him right now well there's one grappling him one attacking him and he has one in a headlock so someone needs to grapple the one that's grappling gum gum we'll just be grapples all the way down he has to his attack does that include a grapple yes okay

it's like an automatic if the attack hits then it automatically grapples so at this point the door for the jailhouse splinters open and pat jumps out with her net and fires it at gum gum you got three of them over there at the collection of individuals we're just referring to as gum gum yeah the gum gum and the three snakes or the three taboo lians gum gum and the tabooleans. It sounds like you're opening Ackbart. Yeah, it's like they're inside. So you've got one. The other two are going to make, well, I'm going to roll. The one that's not grappling you is going to make a dexterity save or attempt to.

That's a two. The other one is going to make one at disadvantage because it has you grapple. So it's not as dexterous as normal. That's a 12, but it has a minus one. That's an 11. Then the other one, I'll say it doesn't get a save because you're grappling it. GumGum, you make a dexterity save

a regular one. Normally you would have advantage because of danger sense, but normally you would have disadvantage because you're being grappled. So just a regular dexterity save. 13? So all of you, Gum gum gum and the tabooians are all wrapped up in a net does he get any damage because it's an electric net no i'm gonna say no not yet yeah so right now all of you are captured in the net which leaves the one with mud will try

to fly away at this point but But you're attached to a rope. It cannot grab you because of the immovable rod. So it lets you go. And you fall to the ground below. Find out what happens to mud and to all of the enemies in the next episode of Tales from the Stinky Draft. That's funny.

We have a cartoon whistle, though. Yeah. He's going to click all the way to the ground. Oh, no, wait. He's not a bat anymore. Will our heroes make it? Will mud face the fear of falling? Find out next time on Tales from the Stinky Dragon.

I love it. What you can find out right now is that Screech is beating Click by 59% to 32% right now in the poll. So it's neck and neck. It's neck and neck. Yeah. Yeah. I have double the votes as yours. Neck and neck.

No, you don't. 64%. Okay. Okay. I know how to count. Yeah. You don't know what the sounds a bat makes, though. Listen.

All right. Well, thanks for listening, everybody. We'll be back next week. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Thank you.