Tales from the Stinky Dragon - Armageddon - Ep. 61 - No Arm, No Foul

Episode Date: August 17, 2022

The party enters the Tabulian lair as they hurry to save the Pye prisoners from a terrible fate, but every step brings them closer to danger, and the fearsome M’ra. Go to http://shopify.com/dragon to get a free 14-day trial. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is a Rooster Teeth Production. in our latest potable, Abyssness as Usual. It's a mixture of Fraud Vodka, Random Rift Rum, Confusion Curacao, Planar Portal Juice with a hint of Pineapple. One slurp of this amorphous eye-opener will have you throwing caution to the window. Previously, our adventurers began their treacherous trek through Winder Canyon. After enduring a few dangers of this dreadful dust bowl, they eventually uncovered an illusionary oasis that led them to the infamous Flats of Tabool. But can the party progress through this labyrinthian lair as easy as pie? Or will it leave them high and dry?

Now, but nightcap, let's nip this noxious narrative in the bud. Yeah, so you all make your way through the corrosive fluid, finally reach the sandy surface on the other side. Your clothes and weapons sizzle from the acrid venom dripping all over your body. You look up and see a scarlet sun teetering on the horizon, casting sharp shadows across tall reddish rocky mountains with smooth tops. You look around to see these flat-topped mountains, one after another filling your view, but then one stands out to you. Etched into the red rock are several steps leading up to two serpentine totems.

In between them is an entrance made of vipers fangs hanging wide open. Sheriff Gov lifts her hat and says, Welcome to the Flats of Tabool. So you all are in the Flats of Tabool. I feel very exfoliated. Kyborg looks at his skin and it's shimmering from all the acid he just had on it.

It's a peel, right? You get all that dead skin off. You got your fresh new skin. Like a serpent shedding its outer skin. Yeah. I was going to say something awful. It looks like you've just been burned all over. It's like you're like red and bubbly.

I'm beautiful. He's got like a bad sunburn. He's just all red. You're like red and bubbly. I'm beautiful. He's got like a bad sunburn. He's just all red. I think Mud would like pull like something like what Mystique does and just like turn into an animal and then turn back.

And that's how you like reset everything. Oh, that's funny. That's a thing? She does that? Yeah, that's why she's like, she heals and is immortal. Whoa. When you change into something, like does it do the thing where it's almost like from the bottom bottom up you know like where all your scales kind of change into you're talking about like how mystique they did

in like the X-Men movies yeah I don't know I actually think of it more like Willow when the witch is getting transformed all my Willow fans right everybody thinks of Willow fans there's a new season I know I'm excited about it but there's a witch in it who's an animal,

and part of what Willow's journey is as a wizard is trying to turn her back into a sorceress. But he's messing up, and so they actually had some pretty cool rudimentary morphing visual effects of her. I like to think that the transformation that you go through is turned around. Why do you got to yuck my yum? I'm just saying a movie I like. Do you have a problem

with me liking a movie? I have a problem with Willow. What? Don't forget you're a Mastiff, by the way. American Werewolf in London. Oh, yeah, brutal. That would be brutal every single time. It's just kind of funny to me. Or like the quarry where you just explode.

I was like, what did we play recently? What? In the quarry when they turn... Wait. It's okay. I was like, what did we play recently? Wait, what? I didn't finish that game. In the quarry when they turn, wait. It's okay. Do you know the- When the monsters transform, they explode into like blood and gore. I figured there was something.

I mean, I saw the opening scene in maybe the first half hour of that game. So I know very little, but now I want to play it even more. So that worked. Why am I a master? You turned into a master as you went through the dimension door. In my head canon, it's like one second and it just goes and then he transforms into the animal it's because you went with me and i needed to bring something my size or smaller sheriff gov pipes in and says this might be the only respite we'll get before heading into those caves beneath

the flats up yonder so if y'all need to catch your breath or equip any gear now's the time boss battle we're about to be conjured. I mean, can we actually take a rest? Yeah, you can take a short rest. A little rest? I'd love a long rest. I feel like we've taken one recently. You've become an elf.

I'd love a long rest. But if we can't, it's fine. Yeah, I'll stretch my legs here a bit as I lie down. Bart stretches out his legs and he somehow becomes shorter. Bart's his little stumps. Yeah. Elves take long rests in the time

it takes to take a short rest, right? I believe so. Yeah, they like meditate, right? An elf can find the benefit of a long rest in four hours. So I think short rest is typically like an hour. Not boom. No boom. Command Z. How do I go back?

Command Z on D&D Beyond. I want this to be canon. Every time Bart takes a short rest, he drools a lot. Just because that's what I do when I take a nap. I don't know why I drool more when I nap than I do like a normal sleep. So that carries over to Bart. Okay. Bart's got a little drool. I don't know if anyone's going to tell him. No, it's like a puddle of where I was lying down. Oh, gotcha. You have some on your cheek, too.

A little bit. So what time of day is it? Approaching sunset. Read that bottom line. Heck, yeah. Mastiffs are impressive hounds, prized by humanoids for their loyalty and keen senses. Mastiffs can be trained as guard dogs,

hunting dogs, and war dogs. Halflings and other small humanoids ride them as mounts. I know where we're doing. The bud ship continues to sail. Everyone feels a little rested, a little recharged, a little re-energized.

I'm sure some time was taken to wipe off all of the noxious liquid, the poisonous acid that you all swam through. Well, some of you swam through, some of you dimensioned orc. So, yeah, Sheriff Gov asked. All right, enough with the siestas. Y'all ready to move on or what? Yeah, I'm going to ride mud.

To battle. To battle. War hound. Kyborg, do you want to ride me? No. No, no, no, no, no. You should, next time you find a leather work, you should get a little saddle made.

I should. We should. Actually, if there is ever any fan art ever made of this, it is mud as a mastiff. And then Bart. I was like, my brain was going to their names first for some reason. I was like, wrong, wrong. I'm a bard named Barbara.

I think it broke my brain. But then also gumbo is sitting on top as well. Excellent. I'm afraid that if you pursue this too much, some fan's going to make a custom comb brew item and it's going to be like, belt of leather, daddy. And it's like, this belt turns into any saddle. Hey, if it was good enough for Frey Mercury,

it's good enough for me. Anyway. Anyway. I like that you say it in Gumbo's voice. Are you all ready to proceed? Yeah You all walk past the serpentine totems Through the snake-like fangs

Into the darkness Everyone go ahead and roll a perception check Is it a perception check that would involve hearing or smelling? I would say it's mainly sight Actually You said it's dark, why is it sight? Because your eyes are adjusting to the dark Yeah, but can I also listen?

Oh my god, no, no. I have dark vision. Does that help? Do I get an advantage? No. I rolled a 24. Thank you, Barbara. 16. My favorite son. 19.

My favorite son. He's a doll of antiquity. Except for Bart. Who he doesn't. He lives off. Kyborg, you lose track of your footing for a second, and you bump into Gum-Gum, and then you stub your toe. I push him off like it was his fault.

Get off me, bro. I'm sorry. Gum-Gum and Mud and Bart, all of your eyes adjust to the humid darkness, and you see green acid dripping into pools scattered across the sandy grotto before you. And the rock walls on the other side of the grotto have green markings on them that look like handprints.

Past the markings it appears the grotto splits off into several winding paths. Bart, you're the only one that notices that echoing in the distance you hear hissing and screams and a voice crackling with laughter. Does it all sound like these are three distinct, different creatures? Like one's hissing, one's laughing, one's screaming? Yeah, if you had to take a guess, you would say that's probably the case.

You had a good roll, I'll give you that. Okay. But if I was rolling for hearing for that, I would have advantage on that. Listen up. We don't know how many taboo-liens are in here, let alone what other surprises might be waiting for us. As a mastiff, I have keen hearing and smell.

So we should stick together and stay quiet. Right, Mud? Yeah. Anyway, our goal is to find the pod prisoners and free them. They have to be in here somewhere. Once we do find them, I'll lead them back out the way we came. Then y'all are on your own. Got it? Got it. Okay. It's a rescue mission. I somehow

think someone's in trouble. I heard some hissing, some screaming, some laughing. I think there might be some torturing going on. Or some tickling. Or some furious tickling. Everyone go ahead and roll initiative. Also side note, what's a grotto? It's like a cave. Okay. Yeah. Like Ariel's grotto. That doesn't help me. It's a part of Disney It's like a cave. Okay. Yeah. Like Ariel's grotto. That doesn't help me.

It's a part of Disney World and Disneyland. Oh. Yeah. Nine. Here, here, here. I can explain. Think about the Peter Pan movie and where they had Tiger Lily. Where they were holding her captive when Peter Pan and Captain Hook fought. I think I recall this. That kind of a grotto. Thank you for all the

Disney references for me and my friends. You know what I need. I rolled a thorn in your language. So just to recap, Bart got a 22, Kyborg got a 20, Gum Gum got a 9, and Mud got a 4. Alright. So I have a deck of cards that represent

progress and apparels waiting for you in the Tabulian Lair. I love this one! There are four different cards in the deck. Right Path cards, dead end cards, trap cards, and monster cards. Gameplay's based on the initiative that we just rolled.

Each of you takes one turn per round. So, you know, of course, four players per round. On each turn, I'll deal out three cards face down in the river before you left center and right and these represent the different paths you can take along the way on your turn you can take an action and or pick a card from the river to be revealed there's only three types of actions available and once an action is used it cannot be used again until all the actions have been used and once all actions have been used then three different actions will be unlocked again just as a reminder the actions are forge a path which is strength based scout ahead which is

dexterity based it's elementary which is intelligence based you all will not be using that one careful consideration which is wisdom based and boost morale which is charisma based i'm still native on all those except for strength. Right path cards represent making the correct choice. When you approach an intersection, you move closer to your destination. When we reveal a right path card, the party scores one point towards reaching your destination. The goal is to reveal or earn five right path cards. Do this and you reach your destination. However, dead end cards represent taking the incorrect path,

requiring you to double back the way you came when revealed. Dead end cards stay in play until they fill the river where they are then removed and an additional monster card is added to the discard pile what's a monster card you may ask well monster cards represent monsters lurking in the taboolyan lair drawing closer to the party when revealed you are in one point towards encountering a monster when you reveal two monster cards you encounter a monster at which point the party monster cards, you encounter a monster, at which point the party enters combat using their predetermined initiative, and I roll for the monster's initiative and slot it in.

When the party successfully defeats the monster, one monster card is removed from the deck, lowering the chance to encounter one again. Finally, of course, we also have trap cards. Trap cards represent, you guessed it, traps. You will use your skills and abilities to avoid the hazards laid throughout the Tabulian lair, each with varying degrees of difficulty

and effects. Got it? Got it. Got it. Alright, here, real quick pep talk. Alright, first time we played this game it was fun. We're newbies, you know. We were just figuring it out, but we did pretty well. Last time we played this game, it really sucked. Okay. No, we didn't. No, we did a bad job. It was that Esh-Gas-Galon.

Yeah, the pyramid. Yeah, we're bad. I will say, I think a lot of it is luck. But we didn't. No, we did a bad job. It was that Escalon. Yeah, the pyramid. Yeah, we're bad. I will say, I think a lot of it is luck. But we beat them. No, no, it's skill. And we just gotta be better this time. Robotic hands in the middle. Robotic hands? Yeah, or hands. Regular hands in the middle. I put a paw in the middle. Shake. Goatee. Mud.

Mud, mud, shake. Shake. Yeah. Everyone's inspired. I'm actually not negative on any of those anymore. Whoa. No, I'm not positive in all of them. And these are, these are checks or saving throws for these? These are checks. Okay.

Easy. So you guys got this. Chris, these are checks. Double-click, I'm telling you again. Check. Bart, you are up first in the initiative order and the actions available to you are scout ahead, it's elementary, and Careful Consideration. Let's do the Scout Ahead.

Scout Ahead. So that's a dexterity-based check, and if successful, it allows you to reveal the top card of the deck in addition to a card in the river, and you can choose one. Okay. So go ahead and make a dexterity check. That is a 21. That, believe it or not, is successful. What? I would hope so. All right. So the card on top of the deck is a right path card and you can choose to reveal left, center, or right in the river. Let's reveal center. That

is a monster card. All right, let's go right path. Oh, okay. I wasn't sure which way you're going to go with it. Bart, you go down the correct way, and you hear distressing screams reverberate through a nearby passage and quickly head in that direction. Oh, no. The pies. They're burning. Okay.

Oh, my God. That's really good. Up next is Kyborg. Marches ahead with his arms out. On mud? Like that Leonardo DiCaprio meme? Exactly, yeah. Arms out.

Okay, next up is Kyborg. Kyborg, you have your two greatest strengths available to you. It's elementary, which is an intelligence check, or careful consideration, which is a wisdom check. I'm going to go careful consideration. No, no. Okay. Careful consideration would allow you to reveal two cards in the river this turn and choose one.

Yeah, we're going to do that. So make a wisdom check. It's a plus zero. And the other one's a minus one. 15. Oh, that works. Okay. Yeah.

So you can reveal left, center, or right. I'm going to choose left and center. So you have two great options ahead of you, Kyborg. You know that the left path is a trap card and the center is a monster. Ooh. Great options. And I can't go right?

Reveal two cards in the river this turn and choose one. We should just do center, right? Or should we... Well, if we do monster, we have to roll two monster cards. No, we could take a trap. Monsters get cumulative. Right. Traps are just...

Trap just happens. Deal with it. Move on. Can we play trap music at least? While working on our traps? So that's the left path, yeah? Correct. Yeah, I'm still going left.

You know, you love it. He's gonna go left. To do what's right. Listen to that song a thousand times. As you're walking down this path, Kyborg, overhead, you see a patch of glowing mushrooms and like a twinkly dust starts falling down from the ceiling in your direction. Quick, make a constitution save. Oh, God.

All of us or just Kyborg? Just Kyborg. I have advantage on constitution. Oh, right. 18. Your elvish eyes know that these are noxious spores falling upon you, and you quickly dive to the ground and somersault away from them. Hachah.

That's what I do. That's what I say. That's one new thing I'm trying on for size. Trying on hachah for size. Do we like it? Hachah. I don't know. A little rusty Shackleford?

We'll workshop it. So no progress, but Kyborg did manage to avoid the ill effects of the trap there so bravo gum gum you are up you are left with it's elementary wisdom right it is intelligence intelligence which if successful allows you to draw three cards from the deck choose one put it on the bottom of the deck and shuffle the remaining cards and place them on top of the deck. So I guess go ahead and make that intelligence check. Ooh, 11. Believe it or not, failure. So you get no further insight on the path ahead of you.

You have a left, center, and right path available. I will go center. Just like Gum-Gum's politics, you've gone center. I think that's kind of accurate. Probably. Wait, what? Neutral. Gum-Gum probably would be like a centrist.

Why do you say that? Because Gum-Gum just really plays in the middle of everything. Doesn't go overly aggressive. Doesn't feel one way or the other. You like mud, but you're not comfortable with sand. No, I think Gum-Gum likes to share. Gum-Gum, you actually pulled a card that we didn't explain. I wasn't sure if this would come up necessarily.

But you got a mystery chest. Mystery chest. In moving around through the passageways, you find a sack on the ground. I will open the sack. Inside the sack, you find a little potion. Can I look and see if I recognize it or if it looks familiar in any way? Maybe it's labeled. There is a label on it.

If I have learned anything about potions, it's just best to down it right away without knowing what it's going to do. No. And what does the label say? It says filter of love. Oh, my goodness. Filter of love. What is it? P-H-I-L-T-E-R.

Filter of love. What does that mean, Bart? It's my favorite reality show. That does sound like a D&D reality show. I don't know, but it sounds like it's something that Bart might like. Okay. Although, I don't know. Maybe it's like we can make something love us.

Love potion number nine. There's nine of... Yeah. Let's find another eight. Quick. Okay. Gum Gum and Bart's nine of... Yeah. Let's find some other eight. Quick. Okay. Gum Gum and Bart, both of you make a perception check. 14.

11. Gum Gum, you take note that the potion is kind of like rose colored and appears to be bubbly. It's a Shirley Temple. Do either of us know anything about filter, love filter? If you want, you can make like an arcana check, I guess guess to see if anybody knows um anything about it i have a question i know in a previous sales period i considered buying a love potion because i'd never been i wanted to see what it was like to be in love do i recognize that this one looks similar no this would be this would actually be a different potion to that could i do an arcana check to to see if I have any recollection of what this is?

14? I'll do one too. Ooh, 10. Bart, you've heard tale of this kind of potion before. You think that if someone drinks this, then the next creature they see of a species and gender that they would normally be attracted to, they become charmed by it as they treat it as their true love.

Hey, anyone here like tabooians? Anyone here into those? I do. They're my friends. Are you attracted to them? I mean, I like them. They're my friends. I don't know what that means. You haven't had to talk yet with Gum Gum. Yeah. So, attraction.

We could just hold on to this item. We don't have to drink it or nothing. Yeah. Okay, I'll put it. I guess, like, how do you determine if someone would have an attraction to something? That's just, like, role-playing. Like, if your character would be into a specific species or gender or whatever. I would consider Bart to be, I think, pansexual.

So, I think that he would be attracted to everything and everyone. Even me? Well, you're like a brother to him now. I'll put it in the bag. In the bag. Okay, I'm going to go ahead and roll to see what actions are available for the next people. Next up on the list is Mud. Mud, the actions available to you are Forge a Path, which is strength-based,

Careful Consideration, which is wisdom-based, and Boost Morale, which is which is charisma based let's do the wisdom one all three careful consideration so go ahead and make a wisdom check please mud the wise 20. ooh okay so you get to reveal two cards in the river this turn and choose one so you have left center and right left and right to your right lies a monster to your left lies a mystery. Ooh. Choose mystery. Off to the left, you see a dilapidated chest that's falling apart. A chest?

Like a... Like a wooden chest. I'm going to actually just out of curiosity what this does. I'm going to cast Mending. This spell repairs a single break or tear in the object you touch, such as a broken chain link, two halves, a broken key, a torn cloak, or a leaking wineskin. Okay. Some of the wood appears to, like, mend itself and rejoin itself on the chest.

And it thanks me. No. Okay. Can I open it? Is it openable? Yes. The lock is broken off. What if I mended the lock?

That's why I was like, what is he doing? Yeah, I'll opened it up. Yeah, you opened it up and inside is a potion in a skinny. I downed it immediately. Just kidding, just kidding, just kidding. No, you said it. Fire. Fire everywhere.

Let's do this all over again. It's a potion of immediate death. Roll for new character. What's on the label? The label on the potion reads, Potion of Thunder Resistance. Oh, okay. I'll take that. Yeah, put that in my little dog pocket.

Now you can resist my love. Bart puts his fist up in the air, and he goes, Resistance. Well, since you're a mastiff, don't they have those little barrels under their necks? That's the same Bernard. Shoot. Stupid. But they're like cousins of that breed. Okay.

Same like skull structure. We call them mastiffs. Mastiffs. That concludes Mutt's turn, so we're back to the top of the initiative order, which means we lead off with Bart. We've only got one right path. And how many do we need?

Five. We're collecting all these delicious treats. Yeah, and we haven't uncovered a monster yet. I wasn't complaining. I was just checking in. I was just checking in. Man, John's complaining a lot. He's real negative today.

Just putting out what we got. Backseat adventuring. Bart, you have access to Forge a Path, which is strength-based, or Boost Morale, which is charisma-based. I'm not sure which one you're going to pick. You sure? I know that was facetious so uh boost morale allows you to remove a dead end card in the river from the game and draw a new card from the deck and place it face down in the river that doesn't really like push

us along very much right i'll still do it i'll boost morale all right why not? Oh, bother. 11. Well, at an 11, unfortunately, you fail to boost morale. Doesn't quite work out for you this time. Bart's too distracted by the love potion that Gum-Gum got. My precious. He wants it. Unknowing what's behind them, you have a left, a center, and a right path ahead of you. Let's take right.

Oh, no. It's a trap! It's a tarp. Are you sure it doesn't say tarp? We don't get a tarp like Survivor? As you round a corner, you realize you're heading straight for a pool of green acidic poison. Everyone needs to make a strength save! Hurry! Everyone! 14. 14.

21. 10! Okay, I'm gonna roll for lucky. I'm gonna roll for lucky. Really? Yes. Oh, you got damage. Okay. 13. Kyborg dies. Bart, Mud, and Kyborg all fail to see the pool in time

and fall into the pool and your skin stings and your equipment sizzles from the green fluid. Yeah, each of you takes 15 points of damage. Gum gum, you do that thing where you stop and you like wave your arms to keep yourself from going forward.

Try, try, try what that means. Mud has taken enough damage where mud has turned back into mud. And now Bart is up on my shoulders. It's like you transform and I'm still on top of you that's all it is and kyborg just fyi this damage is poison and acidic damage you are resistant to the poison portion of the damage so you would take half of the poison damage so we'll say instead of taking 15 you would would actually take 11. I, too, am resistant to poison.

Oh, okay. So you would take 11 as well. So everyone goes ahead and pulls themselves out of the pool. I'm picturing this since I was on top of mud as a Mastiff. I was like, that way. And then, like, he just, like, walks into the acid water. Slowly lowering. Like, not even a rapid drop off.

Yeah. Like, wading into it. And then a very sudden drop up. Yeah. As I turn into an eight foot fear ball. No, I feel like you would go in as the Mastiff and then come back out. You would disappear as the Mastiff, come back as a human. And just fart going across the water. Yeah, should I not have touched the water?

No. Your legs went in. Kyborg, you are up and there is one option available to you. I'm not sure if you're going to like it. It's forge a path which is strength based. Yeah, I can't do second wind and that, can I? Is second wind an action or a bonus action? What is it?

It's an action, one bonus action. You could do it instead of taking this forge a path. It's a bonus. I thought you said it was an action. No bonus action? You could do it instead of taking this forger path. It's a bonus action. I thought you said it was an action. No, you said both. It's a bonus action. No, you said it's an action. A bonus action. Yeah. A bonus action.

Did I say that or did it just stroke out? You said it's an action. It's a bonus action. I know what you are, but what am I? A bonus action. Yeah, if it's a bonus action, you absolutely can do both. Alright, let me roll a d20. Is it a bonus action? Stop it. I'm going crazy. I a d20. Is it a bonus action? Stop it. I'm going crazy. I'm going crazy.

Is that a nine? What was that? That is a nine. Alright, nine plus eight. 17. You can tell because it looks like an upside down six. Alright, we're feeling good again. Okay, yeah.

Forge a path. Forge a path. Strength check. Make a strength check, and it would add two additional right path cards to the discard pile from outside the game. I'm going to roll a seven, but you know what? I'm lucky. I'm feeling lucky.

No, I shouldn't. I shouldn't. No. Yeah. Okay. Let's go. Seven. Okay.

You do not get any insight into the direction you should be going. So you have a left path, a center path, and a right path. Left. Do you want to hear the other options? Yeah. It is unfortunately a dead end. No progress is made. I'll take it.

Better than the other ones. So the dead end card stays in play for now. So the left is a dead end. Let's look at the silver lining. I got healed. I'm feeling better. You know? Kyborg.

Do my trick. Such a bop. That's it for Kyborg, which means it is GumGum's turn. GumGum, I rolled some new actions here. Available are Scout Ahead, which is dexterity-based. It's Elementary, which is intelligence-based. And Boost Morale, which is charisma-based. Boost Morale, what does it do?

It removes a dead-end card in the river from the game. And then draw a new card from the deck and place it face-down in the river. And you do have a dead-end card currently in the river. Okay. Do it draw a new card from the deck and place it face down in the river and you do have a dead end card currently in the river okay do it i will do that do it so charismatic all right slap him on the bum 22 and at 20 for 22 and i could roll i'll save your butt slap oh yeah you actually can yeah all right uh so the dead end card is removed from the river and removed from the game and a new card from the deck is in its place face down in the river. So now you have

left path, center path, and right path available to you. I'll do the one that was just placed there. Left path it is. Oh no! Gum gum! It's a trap! Oh no! Good thing you kept guidance. The sandy floor beneath your feet starts to give way. You're sinking into the ground! Everyone make a strength save.

Everyone. Oh, dang. 27. Oh, no. 21. Thanks. 9. Mud and Bart. You squirm around and try to free yourself, but end up getting stuck further in the sandy soup. What do you do, Kyborg and Gum-Gum? They're slowly sinking down. I throw

my rope and say, grab hold of my rope. Shoot an arrow! No kidding. I grab hold of one part of the rope. Yeah, I throw my rope and say, grab hold of my rope. Shoot an arrow! No kidding. I grab hold of one part of the rope. Yeah, I grab onto it. Make a strength check, uh, Gum Gum. I would also like to help by helping Gum Gum pull it. That was the wrong one. We're gonna use it anyway. It's a one.

Uh, you can roll as well. Make a strength check, Kyborg, since you are helping. Here we go. You said it before the roll hits. It's my turn to save the team ah it's a 24. not 24. oh yeah you must be getting really strong because it doesn't feel like you're pulling at all but Bart and mother just like flying out of the clothes and let's go wow it feels like they weighed like nothing wow kyborg uh you do manage to pull your friends out. Again, I have to cite the scene in Predator

where Dylan starts pulling tree branches down and you see his biceps. They have a shot specifically for his biceps. After we get out of the quicksand, I jump off of Mud's shoulders. You're not riding him anymore? I no longer want to be associated. Maybe because I rolled a one,

I forgot which direction I'm supposed to be pushing or pulling so i'm pushing the road that sounds on brand mud you're up and you've got scout ahead and it's elementary i guess i'll bite the bullet on its elementary all right go ahead and make that intelligence check please we don't the dice did the thing five Sorry, not quite able to figure it out with your noggin The dead end's gone Correct, it has been removed You have a left, a center, and a right available Let's just go middle

Monster! That is the first monster card we've encountered That we picked And we've only gotten one right Yeah, correct Only four more to go The monster draws closer You can hear its breathing.

Does the monster know the right path? Because if he does, I'd be happy to let him just kind of lead us. What does the monster sound like? You're not sure. Is it a species of thing that Bart might be attracted to? Yes, because I'm pansexual. We're back to the top of the initiative order, Bart. And the only action available is scout ahead, which is dexterity based.

Let's do it, baby. Dexterity check, please. 14? 14. Not quite enough to really give you any insight. You know there are three paths ahead of you, left, center, and right. Could I use my inspiration deck? You could, yeah.

Let's do it. Ooh. What if the monster sounds were like, but like echoing off in the distance? I use my inspiration deck? You could, yeah. Let's do it. Ooh. What if the monster sounds were like, a-hoo, a-hoo, a-hoo, a-hoo? But like echoing off in the distance? Go, go, go. 16. Ooh, much better.

There you go. So it lets you reveal the top card of the deck in addition to a card in the river, and you can choose one. I will reveal the left card. The left card is a dead end. The card on top of the deck is a right path. Right path, baby.

Right path, number two. This is also how is a right path. Right path, baby. Right path. This is also how you revealed the other one. It was also a scout. From a scout ahead, yeah. My dexterity is pretty good. With a sharp eye, you uncover a secret passage that snakes past some treacherous pools of green acid. So it's a good thing you used that roll. Yeah, it worked out for us.

I got to roll some new actions here. A well-timed inspiration. It's because I got off mud and I could focus a little better. Ah, yes. I was too reliant on mud before. I'm just letting him do all the work for me. You were too high up in the cave.

You're just not used to that orientation. I'm not used to it. Yeah, my whole visuals were off. You weren't grounded. Kyborg, you are up and you have its elementary, which is intelligence. Torch path.

Careful con... Torch path. It's not available path it's not there careful consideration or boost morale oh good geez uh what's the one that involves wisdom again that's uh careful consideration all right we'll do careful consideration make me a wisdom check 15 oh that works so that reveals two cards in the river this turn and you can choose one place and right to your left is a mystery to your right a monster we'll take the mystery watch out it's a mystery it's a new arm made of platinum you see a decaying skeleton and in its hand is a small potion i take

the potion out of the skellington. You recognize this potion. You've encountered many of these in your travels. It is a potion of healing. It looks like that skeleton didn't use it in time. Didn't get to it quite in time. Aww, it tells a sad story. I also love how you gave Kyborg a skeleton to encounter

just so he could say skeleton. What do you mean? What's wrong? How is that? I just said it accidentally because I'm so used to you saying it like that. Skeleton What do you mean? What's wrong? How do I say it? Which I just said it accidentally because I'm so used to you saying it like that. Skellington. I don't see that's right. Rest well, little guy. Oh, that's sweet.

Is it too late to save him? Are we all so close enough? Just dump the potion on him. Up next is Gum Gum. Gum Gum, you have its elementary and boost morale available to you. I'm going to do the morale. 16.

Wow. Well, that would allow you to remove a dead end card in the river from the game. We do not have any, unfortunately. But it is still good to get rid of these. That way you can get new ones that pop up. You get no insight, but you're one step closer to getting new actions. There you go. I did nothing.

So he doesn't go any direction? He can choose a direction still. But there's no insight closer to getting new actions. There you go. I did nothing. So he doesn't go any direction. He can choose a direction still, but there's no insight into which direction to go. You know what to do. Okay, I'll go left. Monster! Oh, no! Why would you choose left, Gum-Gum?

I always do what you say. Well, he just said you know what to do. He didn't say go left. How's your quest going? You know, the one I sent you on last week to find the missing listeners? Have you plumbed the depth of a decaying dungeon next to your cubicle or

climbed high into the nose-bleeding reaches of the apartment above yours? Well, don't give up, fair hero. Find those missing listeners and guide them to the stinky dragon. Don't they too deserve to hear these tales i think they do care to nibble on the latest noxious news about the podcast or feast your eyes on mystifying memes then follow us at stinky dragon pod on twitter and instagram plus if you tag us on social media using hashtag stinky dragon pod or make a post in the stinky

dragon subreddit you could be named after one of the next npcs around the corner from our heroes and you may be wondering what should you post on social media well sometimes when the infinites have a day off the party likes to leisurely lavish themselves in lush luxury i'm talking about spending some silver on arcane artifacts wondrous weapons or other inexplicable items if you have any ideas for fantasy based objects of value such as these then post them on twitter or instagram using hashtag stinky dragon pod perhaps one of the illustrious infinites will come across it in the spoils on their next battle in fact we have some recent npcs that were named after folks that follow us on twitter or instagram the brood of taboo lians oh talk to spokespersons named after at kato deville osu

just named after at jusso henrik and ominor is named after at sir ronimo oh and don't forget brendong the dust devil is named after jesse t92. Oh, and don't forget Brendong the Dust Devil is named after JesseT92. And on top of those, we have our own friends who provide VO for some characters in the show, like Sheriff Gov, voiced by Caden Jensen, and Osus the Tabulian, as well as Dr. Ahem, voiced by Micah Reisinger, who's our writer, editor, composer for the show, the DM behind the DM.

It's the sound of another sale on Shopify, the all-in-one commerce platform to start, run, and grow your business. Shopify gives entrepreneurs the resources once reserved for big business. So upstarts, startups, and established businesses alike can sell everywhere. Synchronize online and in-person sales and effortlessly stay informed. Scaling your business, it's a journey of endless possibility. Personally, I love how Shopify has the tools and resources that make it easy for any business to succeed, either from down the street or around the globe. Shopify powers millions of businesses from first sale to full scale. So you don't have to worry if it's right for you. No matter where you are on your business journey, Shopify has

the right solution for you. You can reach customers online and across social networks with an ever growing suite of channel integrations and apps, including Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, Pinterest, and more. Synchronize your online and in-person sales. Gain insights as you grow with detailed reporting of conversion rates, profit margins, and beyond. More than a store, Shopify grows with you. This is a possibility powered by Shopify. So you go over to Shopify.com slash dragon, all lowercase, for a free 14-day trial. Get full access to Shopify's entire suite of features.

Grow your business with Shopify today by going to Shopify.com slash dragon right now. Shopify.com slash dragon. You hear voices approaching from behind you. You panish, look for an exit. You find a door propped open and you all quickly cram yourselves inside and pull the door shut with a click. The muffled voices pass by the door, none the wiser. You turn around to a torch-lit cove sparkling with piles and piles of gold. There are coins, goblets, and chests everywhere you look.

Touch nothing but the lamp. Can I check and see if there's magic? Call Boomba and do a magic check. Sure. Show me the magic. I want you to say it Jerry Maguire style. Show me the magic. Thank you, that was just for me.

No, nothing out of the ordinary. Nothing other than your party and their equipment. Should we go get all the gold? Probably. Nothing bad will happen. Okay, let's go. I guess we drew that monster card, but it was a gold card instead. Did you want to do something, Mud? I was going to Scrooge McDuck jump into the gold.

You know what? Could I do a quick action? Sure. Okay, I cast Flame Arrows. And give Kyborg Flame Arrows. Nice. That's how I receive them. You hear a voice in the room yell out, Frunk-a-tonk, Mirandalore, seize them!

And you see from the other side of the room, three Tabulian guards quickly descending upon your position. Wait! We're going to initiative now. It's Bart's turn. So he said there's three Tabulian guards. I'm switching out

I'm switching out Longbow of Crystallana for Longbow Triumph. Thank you. I would like to cast Thunder Wave. That's going to cause a mess in here. Oops, all gold. Oops, ow. Metal flying everywhere.

We determined that it goes out from me, right? Correct. Not like around me? Correct. A 15-foot cube in front of you. Okay. I will cast that. Okay.

I'll say in order to affect them, you have to move up a little bit. The room's kind of long. Okay. But you have enough movement. I'll say you probably have to move like 15 feet to get to them. Okay. I'll move 15 feet and cast it. A wave of thunderous force sweeps out from you.

Each of your enemies must make a constitution saving throw. 14. It's a 19, 19, and 13. So only one of them is fully affected. Yeah. It's a 19, 19, and 13. So only one of them is fully affected. Yeah, it's a good roll. So on a fail save, that creature takes 2d8 thunder damage and is pushed 10 feet back. On a successful save, those creatures take half as much damage and are not pushed. So you want to go and roll your 2d8 damage?

Just did. One takes eight. So the other two take four. I forgot that because we never took a long rest my spell slots are limited that's why i was asking for a long press yeah i was like let me hp's full i'm fine i want the spells i'll give you some spells thank you which ones you give me i don't know we'll have to roll for it when we're not in combat um could i do bardic inspirationorg? Bardic Inspiration as a bonus action? Yeah, absolutely.

As a bonus action, a creature other than yourself within 60 feet can hear you. Gains an inspiration die of 1d8 for 10 minutes. You can add it to an ability check, attack roll, or saving throw. It can be added after you see the roll, but before knowing the outcome. Yo, Kaiborg, you've been working out because you look buffed. Do you have an inspiration die? Yes, I do. Damn it.

Kyborg, you're up. I just want to say Miranda Lohr, great listener. Appreciate her so much. That's who this enemy is named after. I'm going to kill you now. I'm going to kill them. I wanted to make that call out before I end their character. She also was the one who cosplayed as Bart at RTF, right?

Yeah, lovely cosplay. It's such an incredible person. Destroy her! I aim my hand cannon at her. As an action, the wearer lowers the wrist of the prosthetic arm and fires a cannonball, using the wearer's dex modifier to a single target. Didn't you just get fire

arrows? Yeah, but I want to blow this kid away. This dude away first. Those will stay with him for a while. I got 12. So do I roll a d20 and then add my dex modifier? I've been wondering when the next time you're going to use that hand cannon.

Yeah, so use the... Right now I'm one of my most favored community members. So roll a d20 and add your dex modifier. Speaking of community, the subreddit is popping off. More and more people

keep joining it, and I love it. And there's like good discussions and questions and fun little theories and whatnot. Yeah, that would be an 11 plus 5 i believe yes correct so that would be a 16 which is enough to hit your friend and for reference miranda lore is the one that was pushed back by the thunder wave i'm sorry miranda only i'm not i'm not i'm not uh shot deals 46

bludgeoning damage and 46 fire damage if it hits in the creature Mustang. DC 16 strength saving throw to be knocked prone. So I need to roll two groups of 46s. All right. So that's a 16 and a 16. And what's the save that Mirandler needs to make? DC 16 strength saving throw or be knocked prone. So the strength, Mirandolor strength is plus six.

Dang, strong stance. I imagine just like a one big muscle. It's just buff noodles. 16. So the save is successful. Okay. So a total of 32 points of damage. How's Mirandolor looking right now?

A little singed. Not too happy. Okay. But still standing. And then I have another action. That being said. And they got HP. It's hand cannon is up. But but like how would that work out if i were to want to use the longbow trying

for a shot wait it's your right hand with the hand cannon right your right arm i might it would be my prosthetic arm which is my right arm okay so you imagine holding your bow in the left arm you extend your right arm fire the hand cannon then just pull it back oh that's cool to drop yeah okay then we're gonna be using the longbow trying very just pull it back to draw. Okay, then we're going to be using the longbow triumph. Since it's the way that everything's laid out, if it was your left hand, I'd say maybe you'd have to move the bow around, but because it's your right hand, which you just used to draw, you're able to successfully navigate this.

All right, so then I use the longbow triumph. That's a 21. That hits. All right, doing six points damage, plus a fire arrow. That's a 21. That hits. Alright. Doing 6 points of damage. Plus a fire arrow. That's a 6. So that's 7 points of damage. And I also

want to make that an arcane shot. Bursting arrow. Which is immediately after the arrow hits the creature the target and all other creatures within ten feet take 2d6 force damage There are no creatures within ten feet like I mentioned Randall or is the one that got pushed back right by Thunder wave I'm more than I just wanted to keep just getting pushed to the end of the room and just All right good and roll that damage for

Lots of damage there action surge Oh, lots of damage there. Action surge. Action surge. No. Taking another shot with the longbow triumph. I'm just going to keep this going. I want Miranda Lord to die.

I want it to be the shortest lived NPC character. One of our nicest fans. One of our greatest fans. The best of them. 20. That hits. All right. And then I do 11 points of damage. Plus 1d them. 20. That hits. Alright, and then I do 11 points of damage plus 1d6.

5. 16 points of damage. Mirandler is still up, but looking very, very haggard. Okay, I take another shot with the Longbow of Triumph. Oh my god, how many do you have? He has two attacks per action. So when he surges, he can attack twice.

20. That hits. My god. Doing. why did I bother giving you a part of inspiration 13 points damage plus a d6 flame arrow this is a 1 to 14 Miranda lore falls to the ground and a smoking uh, bludgeoned uh Oh my god. Ba-doop, ba-doop, ba-doop, ba-doop, ba-doop, ba-doop, ba-doop, ba-doop, ba-doop, ba-doop, ba-doop, ba-doop, ba-doop, ba-doop, ba-doop, ba-doop, ba-doop, ba-doop, ba-doop, ba-doop, ba-doop, ba-doop, ba-doop, ba-doop, ba-doop, ba-doop, ba-doop, ba-doop, ba-doop, ba-doop, ba-doop, ba-doop, ba-doop, ba-doop, ba-doop, ba-doop, ba-doop, ba-doop, ba-doop, ba-doop, ba-doop, ba-doop, ba-doop, ba-doop, ba-doop, ba-doop, ba-doop, ba-doop, ba-doop, ba-doop, ba-doop, ba-doop, ba-doop, ba-doop, ba-doop, ba-doop, ba-doop, ba-doop, ba-doop, ba-doop, ba-doop, ba-doop, ba-doop, ba-doop, ba-doop, ba-doop, ba-doop, ba-doop, ba-doop, ba-doop, ba-doop, ba-doop, ba-doop, ba-doop, ba-doop, ba-doop, ba-doop, ba-doop, ba-doop, ba-doop, ba-doop, ba-doop, ba-doop, ba-doop, ba I was thinking it's more like when you're playing like a Street Fighter game and you just stun lock somebody. And you're just juggling them with combo after combo after combo. Oh, Portaboolean. Yeah. Franca Tonk. Yell us out. Sir Pelloni, Miranda Lore has fallen.

Move to the right. I also want to take a movement and just kind of move back from where I'm assuming they are. You know? Yeah. So just like get as much distance as I can. Absolutely. So that was Kyborg's turn. Oh, it's Serpilloni's turn. I did like eight points of damage on one of them

and four on the other. And you're just like... Do we know how much I just did? From a meta perspective, if Mirandolor had not taken the full eight points of damage from you, she probably would have barely survived Kyborg's attack. Really? Okay, I thought it's all in effort. So don't downplay eight points of damage. you, she probably would have barely survived Kylo Ren's attack. Okay, I know. So don't downplay eight points of damage.

Like, that's the difference between Mirandolor having an action this turn and not having an action this turn. Noted. Okay, where was I? Oh, yeah, it's Sir Pelloni's turn. Sir Pelloni. Is that also a community member?

Yeah, Sir Pelloni is named after at Lucas Sir Pelloni. And Franca Talk, by the way, is named after at FrankRM00. Also people who have communicated with us on social media. At PinkyDragonPod. Yeah. Serpuloni takes to the air with its wings and flies in close to Kyborg.

But not me. I'm weak. You don't want me. Drops down in front of Kyborg and tries to take a bite out of him. Just kill their friend, I think. Justify. It's an axe. Play along.

Oh. Oh, no. I'm so frail. It's an axe. Play along. Oh. Oh, no, I'm so frail. He's so frail. Go for Bart. Tries to bite. Hits AC 19. AC 19. Alright, that hits. You take 11 points of piercing damage. And you must make a constitution saving throw. Okay.

As a reminder, I am advantage on constitution, so I've got a 21 and a 20. well sir polony again reaches out with its body this time and tries to wrap its body around you hugs sitting oh critical oh god successfully hitting you doing you know what i don't like that he doesn't he doesn't get a critical oh you're gonna really you know you're gonna use yeah i'm lucky why don't you go ahead and re-roll a critical. Oh, you're going to use... Yeah, I'm lucky. Why don't you go ahead and reroll that? Wait, you're lucky to make other people?

Yes. What? It's a crazy overpowering feat. You have three luck points per long rest. Whenever you make an attack roll and ability check or saving throw, you can spend to roll one additional d20 and choose which die to use. Oh, wait, wait, wait. Or when an attack roll is made against you. Yes.

Damn, that's OP. It's really OP. How do I get this feat? Rerolling the attack. Reroll a character. Hits AC 17. It's still a hit. It's not a crit.

Okay, not a crit. All right. You take seven points of bludgeoning damage. That's what I like it. However, Serpuloni is wrapping itself around you, constricting you. Okay. On your turn, you can try to escape. Okay.

One of you brave young men wants to help me. Is it a boa constrictor? Oh, I got you. Because it's constricting here. It's a long boa constrictor? Yeah. Oh. Gum Gum, you're up.

Oh, I'll rage first and see what happens. And that'll be a little my eight. A bolt of light shoots from my chest. Another creature of your choice that you can see within 30 feet must succeed on a constitution saving throw. Take 1d6 radiant damage and be blinded until starting the next turn. Ooh. So I guess I'll do the one that hasn't attacked yet. That one in front of me.

Okay. So constitution saving throw? Yeah. Yeah. So 19. I'm pretty sure. I think if I remember right, your save is like 14. Okay.

And then I'm going to run to that creature, and I'm going to recklessly attack it. Okay. I feel like a recurve bow is a little bit better than a longbow. God. Let's see that reckless attack. You got to roll to 22, which is a hit. All right, so that's a full plus seven plus two plus two.

So 23 points of damage on Franca Tonk, who is still standing and strong like a tonk. And then I'll use my second attack to do it again. All right, go ahead. Roll your attack. You say stronk? Stronk. Stronks.

I assume that will hit. That is a 19. That hits. 21 damage. That's a lot. He's taking a significant amount of damage. He is still standing. You do notice that...

We could have been friends. As you're attacking him, you know, up close, and you're striking him with your axe, you notice every time you strike him that your weapon sizzles a little bit. Wait. We should do ranged on that. So this means touching them burns us?

Well, they have acid blood. Wait, are these two bullions? Yeah. Yeah. Okay. So they're winged snakes? Yeah, I should have picked up the context clues. You're right.

A little dumb. You also said there are three Tabulian cards. I did. Context clues. Fair. It was right there in front of me all along. Is it a clue if it's blatant? If you'd stopped looking at bones, you'd know. I'm sorry, everyone else is looking up fun things. It's Franca Tonk's turn, and Gum Gum is standing right in front of them.

Ah, yes. Franca Tonk, the tabooian. Hmm. Yes. Franca Tonk is going to strike out and bite at you. They have fangs. Yes, they do. That is a 16, which I believe hits.

Doing eight points of damage. Eight points of what kind of damage? Piercing. Oh, yeah. So you take half. And you must make a constitution saving throw. Constitution saving throw. Oh, no.

I rolled a one. You start to feel really sick. Both ends. I like the idea that you didn't throw up. You just made the sound of you throwing up. He's actually going to try to strike out

and bite you again. Gum Gum starts spitting. You know when you start feeling sick, it makes your mouth... He's like... AC 17 is a hit. Yeah, I'll hit.

Doing another nine points of piercing damage when you take half, so you take four. You would have to make another saving throw, but you already failed the first one. Okay. The side effect of you feeling sick, by the way, is that you have disadvantage on attack rolls

and ability checks. Oh, no. Oh, yeah. That was Franca Tonk. Mud, you're up. Mud's asleep. What? Because I took so long.

What size beast are these two bullions? Medium. Oh, yay. Okay. Yeah, I'm going to summon, I'm going to conjure two giant toads. Yeah. That's so cool. Chris was really excited about that.

Okay. So much has happened. I know that there's two left. Franca Tonks and Serpiloni. Yeah, Mandalorian's dead. I killed her. Mandalorian's dead. Mandalorian. What happens when a toad gets struck by lightning? Everybody is. I just

rewatched that the other day. It's so funny you say that. Where are they? How far are they away from? Sir Pelloni is currently constricting Kyborg kind of at the back of the party and Fronkatonk is near the front of the party currently engaged in melee combat with Gum Gum. Okay, then I'm going to conjure them next to

each Tabulian or if not, I can have them conjure anywhere and jump to them. But they're going to do a bite on each of the tabooians. Okay. Oh, bad rolls. Neither of them are going to connect. A six and a nine.

No, neither connects. Okay. It's okay, doggies. Doggies. Oh, bummer. My toads. Mud is like a Pokemon trainer. Why do you think I picked this character?

I think you mean, why do you think I choose this character? I choose you. Then I guess as a bonus action, I wanted to use my hidden step. That's what it is. And I turn invisible until the start of my next turn. Ooh, spooky. Where'd he go? Thank you, Blaine.

She says you can do it. Misspelled. How do you, what is misspelled and you can't do it? You. You all can do it. Wait, let me take a picture of that and I'll post it. That's good. There you go. Excellent.

Nice. Alright, is that it for you, Mud? Yeah, that's it. I waited 45 minutes to fail on my attack and now John's gonna go take a PV break. Alright, back up to the top of the initiative order. Bart. Yeah. So I just realized I have an item in my possession that I've never used before.

The Thunderstun Drum. Thunderstun Drum. That sounds awesome. Use an action to strike this drum sonorously. Sonorously? Yeah. That could be heard from up to 300 feet away. Sonorously, that could be heard from up to 300 feet away.

All creatures in a 15-foot cone must make a constitution saving throw or take 5d6 thunder damage and be stunned until the next turn. Ooh, and you use it once per day. Wouldn't that... I could choose where the cone is. I'm currently being wrapped, and I think the other person is just face to face. Next to me. So you could theoretically make the cone just slither. Yeah, could I have it avoid gum gum?

Yeah, you could have it hit only the one taboolyon that he's currently engaged in. Yeah. It's like that movie Drumline with Nick Cannon. So it says it must make a constitution saving throw, but the item doesn't say what that is here. Oh, I got you. Yeah, where do you pull that from? It's a DC 14.

DC 14. So you do have an overall spell save DC. Okay. And it would use that spell save DC, which in your case is 14. Thunderstorm! That would be Frankatank, who needs to make that save. Ooh, a 5. That's a failure. Yes!

So he does 5d6 of thunder damage. So go ahead and roll it. That is a 18. Ooh, that five. That's a failure. Yes! So he does 5d6 of thunder damage. So go ahead and roll it. That is a 18. Ooh, that's lots of damage on Franca Tonk. And then what else happens? He's stunned? He's stunned until the next turn, yeah. Ooh, okay. Yeah, he looks kind of weak and he's stumbling around.

Yeah, that's right. I bang the drum, baby. Gum Gum fights the urge to put away his weapon and pull out his drum. It's whiplash. Is that it for your part? I believe so. All right. Kyborg.

Quick and easy. All right. What checks do I need to do to get this stupid taboolying off me? The escape DC for the constriction is 16 dexterity. 17. So you do manage to free yourself from the constriction. I flex my muscles. They just can't hold on to the bulge.

Snake explodes. Okay. Is that an action or is that just like... No, it's just like a bump. Okay. They're all up in my face. So I'm assuming I'm going to have disadvantage for Longbow? Correct.

Okay. Heck it. I'm going to continue to do that. Yeah. Longbow triumph. That's a 29 and a 26. Correct. Okay. Heck it. I'm gonna continue to do that. Yeah, Longbow Triumph. That's a 29 and a 26. Hit. Okay.

Doing eight plus an additional 1d6 fire arrows. Chao. That's a two. Eew, okay, 10. I'm still gonna call it an arcane shot, and it's gonna be a grasping arrow, which is a creature hit by the arrow takes an extra 2d6 poison damage. Its speed is reduced by 10 feet, and it takes 2 to be a Grasping Arrow, which is a creature hit by the arrow takes an extra 2d6 poison damage.

Its speed is reduced by 10 feet, and it takes 2d6 slashing damage the first time. On each turn, it moves one foot or more. Brambles last for a minute until you use this option again or until the creature uses an action to remove it with the athletics check. I bet they're resistant to poison.

Well, they're not resistant to getting tethered down by a bunch of brambles, so we're going to use use that so i'm going to roll 2d6 poison damage all right and then we'll see if gus takes that away from me well you wouldn't know fine five okay yeah okay that's that and and then i continue i'd have uh another attack yes so i'm gonna make one more longoo. 21. And then I'm at disadvantage, so I'll roll again. Thank you. 14. Still good. Okay. All right.

It's still good. It's still good. Doing. Achoo. I say that all the time. 11 points of damage plus a D6 fire damage. Four points. Nice.

Serpilloni is still standing, but looks kind of bloodied. Okay. And tethered. And tethered. Because they are kind of tethered down, if I were to leave, would that be an attack of opportunity? I'll say that because of the grapple that they were unable to make an attack of opportunity.

Okay. Well, in that case, I skip away. I go, wee-dee-dee-dee. And I put a pretty significant amount of distance between me, and I try to find, like, the center between the two baddies that we're currently facing off of. I want to make at least that much distance. I don't see Kyborg

as a skipper. Kyborg. That kind of skipper though. I mostly do it to make I am not a skipper, but I wanted to make that person feel insulted. You want to throw him off? I'm a ropes doctor. So I flail my hands. Gum Gum, it's your turn.

The taboo in front of you is currently stunned. Okay, how far away is the other one? Say like 10, 15 feet behind you. I'm going to shoot my blind thing at him. The one that's not stunned? Yeah, the one that's not stunned. You must succeed on a constitution saving throw or take 1d6 radiant damage and be blinded. So start my next turn.

Okay, constitution save. Failed. Yeah. So they're just blinded? They're blinded and take six damage. Sir Pelloni is blinded, takes a little bit of damage, stumbles back, and falls onto a pile of rusty swords on the ground. Oh, dead.

Oh, no. Not the rusty swords. And then I jump and take a reckless attack at the stunned one. Fronkatonk. Fronkatonk. Sounds like a Ninja Turtle enemy. I like it a lot. It's a good name. Wasn't Serpuloni the one that was tethered? Yeah. So then they were also like

tethered to all the thorns and brambles. It's like a Vaudeville bit where you're like stumbling and like hot water falls on you and you put your hand on a stove and something falls. Which is especially funny. They were stumbling as a snake. I'm recklessly attacking,

which means I have advantage and they're also stunned, but then I have poisoned or whatever. It evens out to just one roll. But would I not get advantage if they're attacking someone who's stunned? Yeah, I mean, you're right. I don't know how it stacks. Like you wouldn't,

you would never roll three. You'd never get double advantage. But I had already lost one advantage. So you would say they cancel and then you have the one. Sure, why not? Yes. No precedent is being set here. I reserve the right to change this decision in the future.

Oh, nat 20. Nice. Well, I'm just going to take that one. Okay. So that's a lot. So roll your damage and then we'll add max damage on top of that. Savage attacks. When you score a critical hit

roll one of the weapons dice one additional time and add extra damage that's the barbarian trait wow okay so then this is also something i've forgotten about so then it's 2d12 and then an additional maximum die on top of that so it's 15 plus 12 27 are there any additional uh bits of damage to that plus two for for um raging and then plus two for the friendly axe. Oh, also, oh, also. It doesn't matter. He's very dead. No, no, but I want to use this.

Okay. But if he's dead. This is the first time I've crit with the friendly axe. Okay. Oh, oh, oh, right, right. Oh, shoot. And I also got two. I got a kill with the longbow of triumph,

so then I get D10 temporary damage. What happens with the friendly axe when you meet you? It's another randomizer. So I rolled D8. I rolled three, which means advantage It's another randomizer. So I rolled the eight. I rolled three, which means advantage on your next saving throw. So that's cool. Okay. So they're dead? Yes. Fronkatok falls to the

ground, very dead with many cuts on it. I helped. Well, you did because you gave me advantage by stunning him. Oh. And I also did 18 points of damage. So you all have vanquished the enemies here, and you're in this room that, like I said earlier, is filled with coins.

Good job, Mud. I made flame arrows. I want to collect coins. I want to start collecting coins. Can we? Yeah. Is this, like, gold or, like, money? Yeah, there's all kinds.

There's copper pieces, silver pieces, and gold pieces. I want gold pieces. I want lots of gold pieces. All my toads go and swallow all the gold. Could I start shoveling some into my bag of holding? All told, you all split however you want. There's 599 gold pieces. Oh my goodness.

Even it. So it's 150 each, but one person gets 149. I'll take the 149. There you go. Oh, nice. So 150 gold each? Yeah. So Mike gets most because he has one.

He has ends in nine. I give you one of my gold pieces, and then that's going to go to your badger. Oh, it's a gumbo. Gumbo gets... It's a gumbo tax. There's also... You find a couple of various doodads here. Oh, yes.

Doodads. My dad? You find a set of gold teeth, a bronze bracelet, and a silver ring. I'd like to request the bracelet for a gumbo for a necklace. Can I have a gold teeth? I figured you were going to be asking about the teeth. So, Gum Gum takes the teeth.

Mud takes the bracelet. Bronze bracelet. I'll take the ring. Oh, yeah, it's because you're a halfling. Yeah. So, are the teeth now, are they like dentures or like what? Yeah, you would imagine they would be like dentures, yeah. Dick them in.

Can I put them on? Can I wear them? Well, you've got actual teeth, though. I know, but can I put them? We can fix that really quick. Gum gum rages and punches himself in the face. Would they fit over my normal teeth? No, they're intended to go like over gums.

Well, I guess. Well, I am gums gums. Oh, nice. Gums gums. I'm glad we finished that and now we're all the way through the cave. I hold up the... And I mouth them with my hand. I will enjoy them. Thank you.

Which means, Mud, it's your turn. Yay, Mud gets a turn. Mud gets to do something. Left path, center path, and right path. The only action available is It's Elementary, which is intelligence based. First, I'd like to introduce you to my toads. This is Gabby, and this is Stacy. Good doggies.

Can I ride one? Bart taps them on the head and does a little pat-pat. And so what were the checks? You only have It's Elementary available, which is intelligence-based. I'll do it. I'll do it. And I'll be smart. Be so smart. SMRT. Nope. Nope. That's a it. I'll do it. And I'll be smart. Be so smart. S-M-R-T. Nope. Nope. That's a two.

That does not work. So you have a left path, a center path, and a right path available in front of you. Center. Center. Right path. Oh, thank Jesus. So now we have three out of five. You come across what looks like a dead end, but cleverly carve through the sandy wall and make your way closer to

the prisoners. I have to, I roll. I roll to make the fake wall. Like a somersault? It's a Dark Souls reference. Oh. You roll through it. That means it is Bart's turn. You have forge a path, it's elementary, and careful consideration. And those are?

Strength, intelligence, and wisdom. I'll do the intelligence one just to. All right. Go ahead and make the intelligence check. Go 11. Ooh, not quite good enough. But you do have a left, a center, and a right path card in front of you. Get it right.

Get it right. Right. Ooh, mystery. Ooh. The mystery is it's a right path. I also love how the mysteries are always just like, here's this potion in this box. It's clearly labeled. I'm giving you labels now because I'm tired of y'all just collecting stuff.

You're like, what is this? I don't remember. I've had it in my inventory forever. It's a winky fox. Partially buried in the sand, you see like the top of a potion with a little cork stopper popping out of it. I pick it up. You pick it up. It is labeled and it says elixir of health.

Elixir of health. All right. I pop it in my backpack. I was hoping you would say mouth. Also, am I still poisoned or do I need to, is there anything I can do to not be? Like, do I do like rolls or anything to prevent? Eventually over time it will fade or you could, if you have like an elixir of health or something you could take that.

Right? Yeah. I'm poisoned. You're poisoned. Oh. How many of those elixirs you got? Uh just this one. I guess like what are the effects of the poison on Gum Gum? He has disadvantage on attack rolls and ability check. Oh I could give him my elixir of health.

Go for it. Pop it in. I want to feed it to Gum-Gum like a bottle. Also being like a baby bird, but that works too. Would we both get the benefits of that? Because it went in my mouth. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yes!

All right. Yeah, you feel the negative effects leaving your body, and you feel much healthier, much better. Thank you. While we're popping him potions, can I do a potion of healing? Yeah. I want to give Bart some spells. You could give me spells?

Yeah. That's what you meant. I forgot you have that ability. Bolster magic. Yeah. Does that mean like I would get spell slots back? Slots. Yeah.

Slots. So I roll a D3. I rolled a 2. The creature regains one extended spell slot level, which equals to the number rolled or lower. So you get level 2 spell slot back. Excellent. Thank you. After Bart is Kyborg. Cool. get level two spell slot pack. Excellent. Thank you.

After Bart is Kyborg. Cool. Forge your path is available. Forge your path. Let's do it. Strength track. Every time you do it, you sound like the TikTok of like, if you need a little bit of sunshine, you can have some of mine.

That's only a 12. A 12. That is not enough, but you do have three paths ahead of you. Left, center, and right. Left. Right path. Oh, thank you. You spot two ahead of you, left, center, and right. Left. Right path. Oh, thank you. You spot two-

No, no, no, I said left. I want to throw- Correct path. I want to throw your mason jar against the wall. You spot two tabooians slithering by, talking about prisoners, and follow them from a distance into another chamber. Why did I have to do that? Because I'd sprake draconian, and he ties their shoelaces.

Gum gum. Which is just their tails. All that's left is careful consideration, which is wisdom. It reveals two cards in the river this turn. Okay, well, I'll do that. It's been more than ten minutes since I got butt slapped, right? No. No.

Okay. Does that mean Kyber still has my Bardic Inspiration? Yeah. Combat is really fast. Yeah. Wisdom. Zero. Yeah. Wisdom. Zero. Plus.

I think that's after the modifier. I'm gonna save that butt slap. You should. Left, center, and right. I'll go center. You reach a corridor and sneakily peek around the corner. You catch a glimpse of several pies

and chains. You've reached the prisoners. You've reached the prisoners. The prisoners! The prisoners! That one stays in. That one stays in. Everyone except John gets an inspiration die. As supervising producer, I am making the call.

I already have inspiration dies. Everyone gets inspiration dies. That stays in. Wait, can they be pisoners? No. Oh. There looks to be a lone guard watching over the entrance to a dungeon cell. It's difficult to tell how many prisoners are inside.

The guard has not spotted you yet. My toads, attack him! No! No! You hear a voice in the distance. The guard turns to look and walks off in that direction. Should we try to follow him? I say we let the prisoners go, get pied to get them out of here, and then we can...

I cast the thingy that gives everybody... Pass without a trace? Pass without a trace. Bart knows my spells better than I do. Sneaky, sneaky. I know the sneak thing. Bart, do the thing that makes it look like there's a fake wall, but make it look like there's nothing. A minor illusion?

Yeah. For what? Like over the hallway that the guy went in, so that the hallway looks like we're not... There's a fake wall, but make it look like there's nothing. A minor illusion? Oh, yeah. For what? Like over the hallway that the guy went in. So that the hallway looks like we're not, he won't see us moving around. Mission possible. Sure, sure, sure. Yeah, can I cast minor illusion?

Sure. And pop a wall up? You want the cream one? And I want it to look like the walls that are currently in this. Yeah, so someone approaching would not see. Yeah, gotcha. So I think we should get the prisoners out. Then Pi takes them back down the path to get them out of here.

And then we... Kill some dudes. We're looking for a diagym. Yeah, but also murder. Let's go talk to them, but real quiet, like... Okay. So y'all are approaching the prisoners to talk to them? How about maybe one of us? Might approach us. My approach is...

My approach is... Okay, yeah. Let's take an action. You enter the room, and there's like a smithing table and some hanging manacles, and chained to the wall and floor via shackles are four pie prisoners that look exhausted. You went to the bardbershop, didn't you? I did. You recognize some of these prisoners.

It's the bards, and they go, and a one, and a two. You know these as the Toon Sisters, and they're currently manacled. Friendship bracelet. Hello, my name is Mudd, and we're here to save you. How are you doing? They look up with hope at you and say, oh, thank you. The keys for these manacles are on the smithing table over there. I grab them, and I release them all from their manacles.

And all lives happily ever after. I imagine it might not be that easy. No, no. I said it. It happened. I set up my hunting trap at the fake wall right at the edge of it. Oh, gotcha. Right.

I forgot you had that. Sheriff Gov looks around and kind of furs her brow and says, Hold up. This can't be everyone. Where's Chick? Kara? Ludi? The Toon sisters kind of look down. Well, speak up. They're not dead, are they? Soap Toon says, no, I mean, well, we don't know. Areno Toon says, they were taken into that room. Points across to a northern door and says, all we know is that no one ever comes back. Sheriff Gov her chin for a second glances at the door and turns to you all and says i need your help i have a duty to lead

these folks back to pious pass but i can't just leave chick and the others behind can i count on you to find them and bring them home absolutely you bet i miss chick she was one of my BFFs from Pious Pass. Okay. After we robbed her shop. I was wondering if that was going to come up. It was a bonding illegalness. Yeah. So Gov is going to leave with these four? Yeah, Sheriff Gov tips her hat to you all and says, Thank you. As soon as I get these folks to safety,

I'll come back as quickly as I can to help. Good luck. She starts leading the Toon Sisters back the way you came. Alright, to the north then. Into this place where no one ever returns. Where surely we will. Can we look around and see if there's anything in this room that would be worthwhile? Maybe like a bed for a long rest.

We just lock ourselves in. Like I said, there was a smithing table. It's got various like hammer, nails, chains, some manacles. Nothing really other than that. I'll take some manacles nothing really other than that oh i'll take some manacles more some extra friendship bracelets let's say there's i mean there were four obviously that were chaining them down uh or four sets and then we'll say there's another two on the table cool i want to combine a couple of them to make like super long i'm gonna

do it right here on the smithy table can i yeah absolutely but it's loud huh it's very loud well table Together you're right. Okay. So then I keep the key Nice wait why you have no for the manacles you I got the key. No, I asked for the man I know yeah, I already picked up the key for them cuz I Shh, hold on, it's M'ra. M'ra. M'ra. Stop it, no, you guys stop it. You hear chanting coming from the other side of the door to the north. Of where they pointed, of where they took the others.

Oh, they're probably gonna do a sacrifice, we should probably get in there fast. M'ra is their big ol' god, huh? Big leader person, yeah. I use Disguise Self to make myself look like a taboolyan stab him and and we'll put friendship bracelets on it look like no i think we all go in stealthy um i'd cast invisibility on myself great okay so you all have passed out a trace and bart also has invisibility as well yes and i'll put my friendship bracelets on but not actually lock them okay okay and take my uh grab my bear trap and say i'll leave it okay then we go to the door there it is yeah yeah yeah you open the large stone door to a cavernous sandstone hall bathed

in firelight you see rows and rows of tabooians bowing toward a ray stone dice in the center of the room surrounded by a pool of green fluid but some some of the taboo lions look different. Half of them are no longer limbless serpents with wings. Now some have glowing orange arms. To the north, you can see a cave mouth shaped like a fang maw. And out from the mouth, a towering figure slinks from the darkness onto the dais. The taboo lions continue chanting, mmm rah, mmm rah, mmm rah. Mmm-rah, mmm-rah, mmm-rah. Firelight flickers across the metallic body of Quadrant. He smiles wide and raises forearms, hushing the crowd. My fellow Tabooleans, I have just spoken with the Great Cloud, and I come bearing good tidings.

and I come bearing good tidings. The time has finally come when we no longer cower in the shadow's shame. The great cloud has shown favor on us and granted us the power to reach. Quadrant's right eye shimmers and radiates with an orange light. The crowd cheers And raises their fists They're the ones that have Yeah

Yeah Can I work with you? Roll me a quick wisdom check If you don't mind I was laughing At imagining them like You said they're like Bowing and like

Going like this But they're like Some of them don't have limbs So I'm just imagining A little worm Like Smiley on Sesame Street Yeah That's what I thought of too

I appreciate you thought of that It's an eight But it it almost was a 20. Important to note. Well, this was a... Go ahead. Don't I have an extra die thing that I can add eight to from Bart? Oh, yeah, you could. 16, yeah.

Nice. Well, you remember that Quadrant should not have a right eye. He's got a die agent. You, uh, during your encounter, when you lost your family, you fired an arrow into that right eye. M'ra continues. With these arms, we will take back what is ours. Our draconic honor, our homeland to Torah, and the arms of our oppressors Bring forth the tributes

Out from the fang mouth come four squadrons Escorting a line of pies chained up together You recognize Chick, Kara, and Ludie among the prisoners They're all dragged up toward the stone dais The last pie in the line is much shorter Paler and has red eyes You recognize her as Pat Ernst. Quadrant looks down at the prisoners and says,

Thank you so much for volunteering. We appreciate you supporting our cause with such open arms. The squadrons yank on the chains and all the prisoners fall to the ground, prone with their arms outstretched. Quadrant unsheathes an orange-bladed arm, holding it high. Let the Armageddon begin! They're going to cut their arms off and give them to the Tavulians? Find out next week on Tales of the Stinky Dragon. Oh, God.

Okay, so to be clear, Umrah is different than Quadrin. Or are they the same? We'll have to tune in next week and find out. I think it's just what they call him. I think they call Quadrin Umrah. Umrah. I'm feeling real bad about buddy. Wait.

Umrah backwards is. Oh. And snakes three backwards. What's to bully and backwards quick? Find out all these answers next week on Tales from the Stinky Dragon. Thank you everyone for listening. Nail new butt. Trap you sip.

Trapukesip. Trapukesip. Thank you.