Tales from the Stinky Dragon - C02 - Ep. 47 - Finale in Faunaloch - Lying Through Your SHEATH

Episode Date: July 2, 2024

The Grotethe Gang has a rare chance to get answers from SHEATH and sets off on a mission to collect important ingredients for a potent potion. Support us at Patreon.com/stinkydragon - get access to ad-free episodes, bonus content like Stinky Dragon Adventures & Second Wind, and more! Follow us on our socials at https://linktr.ee/TalesFromTheStinkyDragon This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp — go to http://betterhelp.com/stinkydragon to get 10% off your first month. Go to http://shopify.com/dragon to sign up for a $1-per-month trial period. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Tim's retro donuts are back again for a really limited time. Enjoy classics like walnut crunch and dutchie. And now including sugar twist and blueberry sour cream. Get them before they're gone. It's time for Tim's. At participating restaurants in Canada for a limited time. Salutations, all you savagers! Climb on into the stinky dragon, knock back our latest latte. Nod the brightest bulb.

It's a mixture of Spikes Place Roast Coffee, a claw full of cinnamons to me, a sprinkling of dark chocolate spirits, one mouthful of this mauling mug and you'll... AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH SHI-SHI-SHI-SHI-SHI-SHI-SHI-SHI-SHI-SHI-SHI-SHI-SHI-SHI-SHI-SHI-SHI-SHI-SHI-SHI-SHI-SHI-SHI-SHI-SHI-SHI-SHI-SHI-SHI-SHI-SHI-SHI-SHI-SHI-SHI-SHI-SHI-SHI-SHI-SHI-SHI-SHI-SHI-SHI-SHI-SHI-SHI all the way to the fringes of Fonoloc. After dealing with dragon-leafed lightning leaves, avoiding annoying aromers, and decimating some deaflings, the party pussyfooted their way to sheath headquarters. Cobble a cup of coffee, and let's continue this grungent chronicle. That's what happened. I think he turned into a werewolf. Yeah. Because of his drink.

I think something happened to the bartender. Wait, what? I hope Duncan's okay. I don't know what happened. That's a weird throw to us. We'll find out what's going on with him, hopefully. We're already solving one mystery. Yeah, I hate that.

Stories upon stories upon stories. Stories all the way down. Can we get a mystery about you Gus the person as well to layer on it? Let me clear some mystery in case you're wondering. My name is Gustavo Sorolla. I'm the dungeon master of this party. That is my name and I'm going to hit our four players with an arrow. This week's role play and warm-up question is if you had to make a craving throw to resist something, what would be the most difficult for your character? Oh, I got this. Oh, you do. Oh, that's it. I like that energy. Hey, it's Blaine Gibson. I play chip painting level nine, and all if I had to take a craving throw, it'd be cheese. Oh, I love them cheese curds back at yamford. They'd called me chip eponymous because I just cheese curds. Back at Yamford, they'd call me Chip-a-potamus,

because I'd just go to the All You Can Eat buffet, just, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, cheese curds, cheese curds. I didn't know where that was going. Hip-a-potamus. I was like, dude, hip-a-potamus is like cheese? It's because he mauled several students to death. He triples them. They have one of their cheese curds.

I love how it squeaks on your teeth. He's also more graceful in water than you'd expect. Oh, yeah. Very fast. Hippos are scary, yeah. I don't it squeaks on your teeth. He's also more graceful in water than you'd expect. Oh yeah, very fast. Hippos are scary, yeah. Yeah, they're... I don't think they are. They are.

They're terrifying. They're horrifying. They're one of the most dangerous animals in the world. Yeah, people who think that hippos aren't terrifying are the ones that get killed by them. Don't they kill more humans than lightning strikes and sharks and like... Yeah.

Combined, that wouldn't surprise me. Yeah. Chimpopotamus! I'm almost positive that got debunked 500 people a year. Hey, you know what, John? I bet you can take a hit. I couldn't take most animals that size. I'll go next. I'll get it over with. Oh, okay. That's one extreme to another. I'm just having a rough arc, okay. My name is Barbara Dunkelman and I play Elga Von Brass. Barbara Dunkelman! Beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep Bebip Bebary. driving through a lot of people's blood. Okay, next person. I love this next person! How about, here, last one, Spice. Who's? Oh.

Out of you guys? Just pick the buffet. Yeah, in general. Any person's blood. You're at the mall, you've got the whole food court. The damn A.U.L. Oh, nice, nice, I like that. You know, I look at all these pop stars

who are probably very wealthy and eat really well, and probably have very pure, tasty blood, you know? Maybe. Who you thinking? Beyonce. I bet she tastes delicious. Is there a difference between like the blood of a meat eater versus like someone with a plant-based diet?

It's gotta be. It's gotta be. Probably. Don't they feed like those certain cows, certain food to get the certain yeah But I'm curious if a some of a vampire would prefer someone know someone who ate other animals because there's more like blood blood

More like more iron iron and like yeah,? I don't know, I don't know guys. It's very obvious. If you're drinking blood for life force, then I could argue that someone who eats meat has consumed more life force. You want a big old southern boy who eats at Bucky's cause you want like, like pigs. Pigs make good meat.

Also the death version of Beyonce is Beyonce and she's a ghost. Oh! Beyonceance. Bonjour! Bonjour. Speaking of ghosts, my name is John Reisinger and I play Métis Confissus,

and I busted up laughing, listening to Chris and make fun of Métis in the episode previously. Sorry, I had to point that out. It was hilarious. Cravings that I would have a time resisting. I actually am able to resist most things. I've quite the control over my body. It's what I pride myself on. However, there is one little thing that I cannot say no to.

And that is a macaron. Oh my gosh. You cannot eat just one. If, if, if there are, if however, there are many are in front of me, they're gone after I'm done. Do you know the difference between a macaronaroon and a macaroon? Yeah. They're two different things.

One of them is the president of France, right? I mean, I've actually made both. Yeah. What's the difference? One's harder than the other. A macaroon is like the little cookie thing. Yes, macaroon. Kind of has like that soft cookie with the filling.

Yeah, like a meringue. Macaroon is like a more dense, usually like coconut flaked top. Which ones look like they look like crabby patties? They look like macaroon. Macaron? Yeah. I still don't know the difference, but I like them both. Yeah.

That's a good answer. Oh, and Ladyfingers. Oh my gosh. Real Ladyfingers. Yeah. That's the grotesque version. I also like Ladyfingers. That's just John.

John likes Ladyfingers a lot. Dippin' in coffee? So good. I want to point out something real lady. That's just yeah, it's a grotesque version. I also like lady fingers. That's just John. John likes lady fingers a lot. Dipping in coffee? So good. I want to point out something real quick. We were filming something the other day and we had to do like temp matide voice. None of us could do your accent at all. So now two voices in total. You guys can't do them.

So I whatever my next accent. The best I could do was lose the H. L-O. You know. It sounds like little Oliver twist or something. So I whatever my next accent the best I could do is lose the H. Hello Bernie wake up. We're talking about craving I could not resist Yeah, a good the best candy in the world Where there's originals hard candy that's in that's in line, but that's not all the second best candy in the world. Uh-huh. Where there's originals hard candy. That's in that's in line But that's not all the second best candy in the world. Wait, there's more Nico wafers

Nico wafers, you know So much you can't even bother to read the wrapper tears You're googling candies you've never It's very apparent. You're Googling candies you've never seen before. I'm raising my hand, I object. I ate those all the time as I was a kid. My grandmother would always buy them for me. What are they? What are they?

They're like little candy wafers. I just that's how I pronounced them when I was a little kid. They're very chunky. Yeah, they're terrible. Well, some are terrible more than others. They're awful. So I don't think Barney introduced himself. I think Barney was so excited about food

he just went straight into it. He was just craving his Werther's Originals. Those look terrible, Chris. Yeah, look, I had them when I was a baby. I didn't know that your grandma was torturing you. When you were on a baby? When I was a kid, I ate them. My grandma would always buy them for me.

Don't feed your babies neck-o-wafers. Or do, it's America. 500 babies die a year to neck away. First and I'm a human cleric and I'm being, I'm being judged upon my candies. That's not true. Barney. That's okay. You're not being judged. You're being bullied. The. Do you know how old they are? The Werther's original are so old. They weren't being invented when I was born. It's old. Is that a self burn?

They were made. I don't know when they were actually made, but I think Werther's original has been around for decades, right? They were introduced in 1969. It seems like they should be older than that. I feel like right. Because like all of our grandparents had them neck away first 1912 Wow I don't like yeah, I'm gonna buy some oldest and I'm bringing them out. I'll try it I just don't think that that's like a big hump like a brag because the things that were are old are not always yum

That's very true. Usually not, I would say. I feel like candy's only gotten better. Yeah. Apparently in the UK, they have Werther's chocolate. Oh. So maybe that's the Werther's new. Maybe there's Werther's original and Werther's new. Did you know the first candy was used

by the ancient Egyptians for cult purposes? In ancient times, Egyptians, Arabs, and Chinese made candies with fruits and nuts that caramelized with honey. The two oldest candy types are licorice and ginger. Welcome to Tales of the Candy Dragon. Micah found an alternate source saying Werther's originals are from 1909? That sounds more accurate.

From the little town of Werther, Germany. Oh, I made them. Gustav Nebel. Are we playing D&D? I don't know. We should start. I think we're all just hungry. Oh, I made them. Gustav Nebel. Oh, are we playing D&D? I don't know. We should start.

We're all just hungry. You don't chop it down on that donut there, Gus? Almost. He's choking. Is it OK? Those are from yesterday. Are they? Yeah, they're fine. Yeah. Oh, yeah, Dale Donuts. I'm so hungry. All right.

You all make your way sneaking and trying your best to avoid the locals and eventually you come upon an isolated cox of shady trees where you find a lonely stump covered in lichen. Sadate looks around for a moment, then furtively steps forward. She brushes off some moss from the trunk and you see it! The sigil of sheath hidden in the grain of the bark. Sadate reaches out into the air and grabs something just above the stump. Then she lowers her arm into the stump and you all hear the soft sheathing of a blade.

The stump twists and lowers into the ground, revealing a spiral staircase beneath the earth. Quickly now, everyone inside. Okay, here we go. You all make your way down the staircase into humid darkness until you finally reach the floor of a vague room veiled in shadow. The stump and staircase twist back into place above you, thus extinguishing the last bit of light from the room. A voice echoes in the chamber.

I wondered when you all would find your way down here. I was beginning to think you were getting cold feet. You hear the striking of a match and a small flickering flame illuminates the face of a plump, mustachioed man wearing a blue coat with a high collar. Welcome, detectives. I'm Director Carl Weiser of Sheath. How long have you been waiting in the darkness for? How many matches did you go through?

Nope, not yet. It's like a surprise party when the wrong person keeps coming in. It's a UPS guy. He's like, oh, dang it. It opens up, it's just full of smoke. Matches all over the floor. I did say it was like uh it was veiled in uh in mist and it was hard to see. Weezer raises the match and an overhead lamp dimly lights the room around you. In the center of the room is a long table with six chairs. There don't appear to be any windows or doors. I'm afraid before we proceed any further, I need to be certain you are who you appear to be. I'm Barney.

Everyone take a seat. Weezer pulls out a small brass ring and places it on his finger. He waves both hands up and down as if weighing scales. Veracetate hum palabras! A 15 foot dome of light shines down on you all. Everyone make a charisma saving throw. Zone of truth, this gotta be zone of truth. Charisma saving throw?

Yeah. Nine. Would you want to roll low on this to prove that you're right? 14. You can choose to fail it if you want. 17. You can voluntarily fail. I'll roll to 19, I'll see what happens.

Okay, so we got, what was yours John? 17. I don't think I've done a Christmas saving throw with Matide yet. Really? Probably not. I feel like I asked for one a couple episodes ago. Okay, maybe. Everyone's saved except for Barney. Okay. So Barney, or Chris, Barney cannot speak a deliberate lie.

Okay. Make him do the ritual again. So, are they aware that who passed and who failed? You don't know that. So, Weezer begins walking around the room looking at each of you. Then dramatically he turns and says, We will start with you. And points to Sedate.

Of course, director. What is your full name? Sedate Tempour. What is your full name? Sadate Tempur. What is your occupation? Agent of Sheath. What is your favourite colour? Purple. Thank you, Agent Tempur.

Who would like to go next? I feel like those are very easy questions to know, I'm told. Yeah. Alright then, let's move on to you. Oh, hello! What is your phone name? I'm in, for as long as I could remember as Elga Von Braff, but now I think it might be something else.

Hmm, fascinating. It'd be Kaliope Farny. Okay, Elga slash Kaliope. He looks to Barney and like kind of just like nodding talking thing like Why do I hear a fart whatever here fernie? What is your age that's a great question what is my age What is my age? I don't know. I've lost count. 304! 304. Hmm.

And finally, have you ever committed a crime? Uh, I mean probably accidentally, but not with malicious intent. Duly noted. Barbara looks actually nervous to the entrance. It's like when you look in your rear view mirror and there's a cop behind you and you're like, I'm not doing anything wrong. Or when you go through like border security when you're traveling and you're like, it's a pleasure. I hate it. One time I was going into the, I was at Heathrow in the London airport in the immigration,

the passport check, and they had like a little carved out section. It was almost like a little jail in the line and there were like people sitting in there and they're like an officer came in and started yelling at them, asking them why they were lying and why they were trying to come into England. And I was like, I was like, shouldn't they be in a room? Anyway, anyway, why am I standing next to this? Anyway, Weezer turns to Matisse. Tell me, what is your full name?

Uh, my full name is, uh, Ellen Mirren. Okay. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, I see. And what is your species? Uh, I am a, uh, Orox. I don't like this Barney's eyes are wide It's real have you ever lied to anyone in this room never You're right, Tooth, all alone, if that is your name, Helen Mirren. Hahaha!

Helen Mirren? Uh, confirmed Helen Mirren, D&D player. I've never seen an aurorodst who could fly. I like that song from Dumbo. Weezer moves down the line to Chip. And you, sir? what is your full name? Chip Haney. And what is your occupation?

Assassin retired now grieving husband. Professionally? That's a very sad occupation. I'm getting some, I'm just getting some. Do you get benefits with that? Grieving widower? Grieving... Widower? Grieving... Yeah, yeah. Thanks for the correction Weezer! Very, very cool.

Last question. What is the first thing I ever said to you? Oh no, Blaine doesn't know this. Probably stop in the name of the law or something. That's very close. Weren're we like in jail very close indeed What was it? Nobody move. I'm chief inspector Weezer and you're all under arrest We're gonna come back to that cuz I got a lot of questions for you Weezer, but move on to Barney

He's easy to answer your questions and you what's your name? Barnabas Barney he's easy to answer your questions and you what's your name? Barnabas Barney and your age Ninety three somewhere in that I guess that problem not three hundred and four I think Barney might not also might not know The right young age of 98 that doesn't seem right, but okay final question Barnabas Farny, are you currently alive?

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know if anybody's ever answered it that way. The truth. Is he lying? Time will tell. Why didn't everyone else get that question? Everyone got different ques- Why am I talking like you? Everyone got different questions.

Regardless, that'll do for now. But before we go any further, I must have your word. Everyone's word that any intel shared here does not leave here. Lives depend on this. Do I have your word? You have a word from me. Word? How many words? All of them? One from each of you, of course.

Yes. I'll give you two words. Knuckle sandwich. But Weezer takes off his ring and the Dome of Light dissipates and he snaps his fingers. The four walls surrounding you fall to the ground, revealing an underground facility glowing with crystal screens, a translucent map, a wall of equipment and desks filled with people clicking away on typewriters. This is Shade HQ.

We have much to discuss, but first allow me to introduce you to our tankerer, Siren, would you please join us? Near the wall of equipment, you see a bronze boiler whistle with steam and suddenly sprout legs and arms. It stands up and stomps its way over to you all. What race is that?

Oh, what was it? What? Siren. It was like a big steampunky machine. Tinkerer. It's like a, it looked like a bronze boiler. Then it had like steam come out. Then it sprouted legs and arms.

What's so funny? Sorry, I wrote down tinkler. Ha ha ha. I was like, oh tinker. Detectives, this is Siren. Siren, I'd like you to mate. Welcome back, Agent Mateed. Weezer looks quizzically at Siren who has no face and just slats covering a central firebox and a chimney stack where a head would be. Elga's doing that thing where her mouth is wide open and she's looking back from Matide to Carl to Matide to Carl.

Hell, I'm here and now I gotta give you a knuckle sandwich. Did you know, Carol? How many people knew about my wife except for me? I didn't. Thank you, I believe you. I didn't, I didn't know anything. I believe you don't know anything, yeah. I know many things.

Curious. Matide was an agent of SHIS? Correct. Matide confies you. Eric Cochran, Ghost Monk, threat level nine. Recruited in 1130 GM by the late director Lorenzo Wolfen. Among many reconnaissance assignments, Matide was sent on a mission to locate a vampire that had gone rogue outside of Vania. But while tracking down the target, Agent Mateed went MIA, was presumed dead. It would seem these suspicions have now been confirmed.

Wait, start level 9 out of what? Like 10 or 100? I think it's because we're level 9. It's out of 8. Classified. Wait, presumed dead, does that mean you died? Presumed dead, does that mean you died? Barney... You've seen the teeth walk through walls, right? I mean...

Go ahead. Weezer would look at Barney and then look back at the rest of the party and say... Oh, anyway... Siren here is our taker-er, and can provide upgrades or additions to pieces of your equipment. I feel like we need to sort some information out here first. Yeah, you're like arming us for a war. We don't even know what is going on. Matthea, do you remember any of this? Do you remember being an agent and being on the hunt for a vampire gun road?

Uh, you know, it's very easy to remember the end of my real life I have memories of plenty of parts of that area, but I've forgotten a lot of it. And so this sounds familiar What's my threat level? Also nine probably chip. Hey me Level pending. Oh, it's off the charts Could you you're going to arm us? Could you arm us with more knowledge? Yeah. What's the vampire that Medid was going after? Huh?

A briefing will follow a tour of the armory. Tyron begins escorting you all to the northern wall where all the equipment is, where the equipment bay is, and begins pulling out various pieces of metal and various add ons. He looks, I guess he'll look at you first Barney. Hi, please allow me to augment your armor. Can you add pants? As long as they're breezy You give it to him Barney. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it's awfully chilly in here with Barney have on under his plate armor. I imagine it's like a shirtless what like I know what are those shirts called top? Used to like cut up white tees I got the colors and the sleeves off and he just looks like a little like

Like a little like like like a guy Your shirt right now, it's not cut up but yeah, I mean it is pretty it looks like it's coffee stained No, it's just I like painting them and stuff stuff there's like undershirts and they're really yeah so probably one of those like a cut up white rag shirt or maybe a tank top that's also all during old man suspenders and stuff like that suspenders yeah my god Barney's covered in tattoos! Suspenders! Suspenders! That only cover up, that only hold up my boxers. Yeah, yeah. Funny. With the white tank top.

Yeah, with like real loose pants that are just here constantly having to pull up, but your boxers stay up just fine. Siren pulls out various tools and you see it very quickly welding on and augmenting your plate armor before handing it back to you. Upgrade complete. Meta game wise, you have Benedusk Plate Armor. I liked when he was the voice of the dragon in Hobbit. If you want to go ahead and you can, once you find it,

you can read what that is. Armor, plate, very rare, requires attunement by a cleric that must deal 10 radiant damage upon the armor. Armor class 18. This translucent armor is now fitted with brass rings that glow like sunsets. Offers AC 18, normal for plate armor, but the wearer gains the following additional features. Two charges per long rest. Aura of Necro-Systems. All allies within five feet of you gain resistance to necrotic damage. Blessing of Benedusk. And as an action, you can expend a

charge to cast the Bless spell on three creatures of your choice other than you within 30 feet. Whenever a target makes an attack roll or a saving throw before the spell ends, the target can roll a d4 and add the number roll to the attack roll or saving throw. Radiance of Radiance. Radiance of Radiance. As an action, you can expend a charge to emit a burst of Sun and Moon beams in a 30-foot radius. All enemies' targets in the area must make a Constitution saving throw using my Spellcasting DC. On a failure, the target takes 1d8 radiant damage and is blinded until the start of our next turn. So the Radiance one was already there.

Okay, so yeah, the rest of it's like upgrades. Yeah, so other spells, and I can do it twice. Bernie's AC is 20. That is so cool. That is so high. It's the advantage of being able to wear heavy armor But the the downside is he gets disadvantaged on like stealth checks and some dexterity checks Siren then turns over and looks at my teed, you know reaches out its arms Arms, I'm a little Jesus. That's the word sure

Fetalines collar, please uh, I pull gg out of my hood and hand him the kitty and pull the collar off. OK. Siren takes the collar, pops out like a little miniature sewing machine, and begins furiously working on it, and then hands you back the collar. Collar, collar, upgrade complete.

Collar, collar. I mean, the cat gets the bonus? Yeah, Gigi's got it. Where he's wearing it. That's cool. You want to know what it does? Yes, please. This bronze collar. I mean, the cat gets the bonus? Yeah, Gigi's got it. Where is wearing it? That's cool. You want to know what it does? Yes, please. This bronze collar is padded on the inside and tailored to fit the neck of Gigi.

It is encrusted with a tiny dangling sending stone that relays a message to target. Tell Gigi your desired recipient and then speak a message of up to 25 words. Gigi will typically travel at their normal movement speed to search out the recipient, but the message can only be stored in the collar for one hour when Gigi arrives They will immediately open their mouth and deliver your message Replicating the sound of your voice Gigi speaks only to a creature matching the description you gave if they don't reach their destination before the hour Is up the message is lost Gigi makes their way back to you Oh, so it's a bit more of a complicated sending stone. It's not one you could just do to anybody anywhere in the world It's like a little pigeon. Yeah. Yeah carrier bird buddy, but but he is a ghost so he can get to a lot of places

It's like cart to stay I have but actually good Maybe she has that ability. He would have to be like a planewalker Could you send him there to banish him there? Yeah, yeah to potentially deliver a message to someone there She came back. Yeah, she's only there for what? What are she what she thought cuz didn't the castle fall down? Yeah She would have come back in the same spot and would have just fallen would have come back in the same spot and would have just fallen. Siren turns to Chip. Crossbow and Fang Frost Dagger, please.

Oh, okay. Here you go. We'll throw it to him. All right. Siren turns around and begins hammering at it and, you know, pulling strings taught then hands it back to you, Chip. Crossbow of Coolness complete. Oh, thank you. Oh, let's see. Crossbow Coolness, a cold and calculated combination of your hand crossbow

and the Fang Frost dagger on loan from Elgavon Breath. This wintery weapon can be used as a melee or as a ranged attack weapon. It has a plus two to attacks and damage, three charges per long rest. It has polar protection. You have resistance to cold damage while you hold this weapon, neat.

Ranged Rime, upon firing a crossbow bolt at an enemy hit or miss as a bonus action you can expand a charge to cause the bolt to explode with icy shards each creature within 10 feet of the target must make a DC 15 Dexterity saving throw or take 4d6 cold damage awesome and Bitter cold bayonet as an action you can use the fang frost dagger as a bitter cold bayonet on a hit You can expend a charge no action and the target must make a DC 15 constitution saving throw or become frozen C Petrified until the start of your next turn That's cool. I think it's funny that the guy with fire resistance now has ice attacks and cold resistance. Oh I resistant to all of the elements or two of them.

Are you resistant to a nice, normal, temperate day in Los Angeles of 70 degrees? Right in between. That's my weakness. That's my kryptonite. If you ever run into a magmaval inch, you're you're all sat there. You know what that does? What? You know, the worst thing, the worst pain ever is if you're out in the snow and your hands get really, really cold and then you put them in hot water.

Don't do that. Just like needles? Yeah, like as a kid, when I didn't know any better. Then people think that if they get like frostbite or something like that, they should just put their hands under hot water. Don't do that. Yeah.

Well, IRL, I lost the feeling in my hands because I used to work in a freezer during summers. And then I just was dealing with frozen foods and milk. They already have resistance to ice. Yeah! Also if you burn your hands don't run around under freezing cold water either. Both are bad. Extremes are bad. Extremely bad. Siren turns to you, Elga. Looks you over, scans you. One moment! Then Siren turns around and from the armory pulls out a pickaxe off the wall. Another axe. Lays it down on an anvil and then like an auto-automatically like a little face shield

comes over his over Siren's non-existent face. You don't know why Siren has that. A dramatic effect. Siren begins hammering at this hot axe then plunges it into some cold water and then hands it to you. Bone to pickaxe complete. Wow and that will give you anything in exchange? Negative. Sweet. How many axes does that make?

We used to do a lot of little videos where we would test D&D in real life. We need to do one now, just Barbara holding every axe that she has. I have four. Four axes. Axe of gaining, axe of scarab, bone to pickaxe, and? Bat-toll axe.

Bat-toll axe. Also a good memory of my particularity. I couldn't even probably tell you that. You want to go and read the bone to pickaxe and that pullaxe battle also a good memory of my of my particular I couldn't even probably tell you that I want to go and read the bone to pickaxe to everyone bone to pickaxe I have three charges on it which is great forged from metallic dragonic bones this polished pickaxe has a plus two bonus to attack and damage roles made with this magic weapon it has three different abilities it has deft digging. While wielding this pickaxe, you have advantage on skill checks relating to digging or mining.

Not sure what those would be. Fun. We have the pick me instead. When a nearby ally is the target of an attack, you could see and within range of your movement speed, you can expend a charge and use your reaction to swap places with the ally. The movement is instantaneous and does not provoke attacks of opportunity. So if one of you guys are suffering, about to get attacked, I could swap places with you. Oh, you know me. And then, settling scores, when you hit a creature with a melee weapon attack, you could expend one charge to attempt to damage another creature with the same attack

Choose another creature within five feet of the original target and within your reach if the original attack roll would hit the second creature It takes the same damage dealt by the original attack. Oh, I guess in simple terms It means what like if I'm attacking one creature and there's another one within five feet of it You basically double that double chain. Yeah sweeping attack kind of thing Yeah, kind of it's more like automatic. Yeah. Okay cool John. You have the floor Yeah, I had two questions one was a look I can hold two axes at an attack, right? I thought you had an ability that allowed you to do I don't know if she took that I don't think I do Yeah, my damage what I do basically is dependent if I'm holding it with two hands or one hand.

And then my other question is, did you mean to give the one of us who looks like a little kid an item from Minecraft? A creeper! No, that's Barney. He's walking so slowly towards me! Why? He's walking so slowly towards me! Weezer walks up and joins you all at the equipment bay.

Sadate has been updating me on the situation, and I believe it's time we brought you all into the fold. Come with me to my office, you two siren. Weezer moves toward the equipment wall, and you see him reach for a silver sheath in the center of the wall. He rotates it clockwise and the wall splits into revealing an office with a cluttered desk, rolling chairs, and a table with a green crystal screen glowing softly. Cool. Now that we got our upgrades we get to level up. So I'm gonna say we're gonna go to level 10? 11? Yeah.

Chip Haney threat level 2. Yes! So I'm gonna say I'm gonna go to level 10, 11. Okay. Chip Haney threat level 2. Yes! I hit the machine. It's broken! Weezer walks past you into the office and motions for you all to follow him. Uh, Elga follows. I do as well. Me too. I whisper to Gigi and I say, go tell Chip that I am a higher threat level than him. And then I send Gigi off. I am a higher threat level than him.

Yeah, I can do that. Yeah, Gigi walks up to you, Chip, and his mouth opens and like a disembodied, mature voice says, I am a higher threat level than him. I'm gonna skin you, cat. I used my telekinetic thing to tell Chip something. Telekinesis isn't a communication tool. No, I have to rhyme it though. Pelopathy.

Hey there Chip, I think you're really strong. You're my buddy all along. Get out of my way! Chip, I'm talking to you at normal time. What's the next line? Oh, that was it. It was just a shoot. I can do nothing. Alright right. I'll go ahead

Anyway Everyone else follows, I assume? Yeah. Yeah. So, Chip. Yeah. You were asking about Carol. Yeah!

I wanna know about my wife. He rarely asks about that. Listen, you know, we've known each other for a long time. I think probably long enough for me to have communicated that I was on a search for my wife, Carol. Chances are you knew about this and you didn't tell me. And now she's passed away. So what the heck? Well, the first thing you should know is that Carol was drafted into Sheath

with me as her handler. What? That doesn't help. You're making it worse for yourself. The problem is that she was undercover and communication was very sparse. She was tasked with finding out what Eddie knew and what he was up to. But as I said any communicates sent between us were few and far between. Did you, were you wear the belt? Unfortunately no.

Do you have a belt? Well of course, how else would I hold up my parts? the spenders and points to Barney Chipping Carol are very are mr. And mrs. Smith situation. Yeah. Yeah, so I mean, what did that happen? We was just before after the parade that you tasked her with this this would have been before the parade Okay, I was merely her handler at the time. That was when Lorenzo was still the director of Sheath.

And then were you aware that she was visited at our house by Eddie and stuff? Was she able to report that or did she look like, like when did she lose contact? When was the last time you spoke to Carol? The last time I spoke with her was at your house. Wait, was this when I was sleeping? Was this the vision? Was that? Was that?

Well, you did see someone in a blue jacket with a high collar, and you assumed it was Eddie. But, but, wasn't he accompanied? Wait, so were you undercover? There was a separate time. Okay. Yeah, I think there were two different things you're remembering here. All these people coming to my house, I was just, what was I, goofing off? Yeah, there was one, I think you were sleeping when Eddie came and threatened Carol.

Yeah. And there was another one when he was outside. Yes. And I think that was like the dream, the dream you had. This makes sense that you keep failing on perception checks. I'm so aloof. I saw someone in a blue collar. I didn't even know.

Carol, can you get the door? I'm in the bathroom. Enjoying the door? I'm in the bathroom. Laughter events, and livestreams. You can enjoy ad-free episodes for their main show, and all our bonus content no matter where you listen to it. You'll also get access to Second Wind, our fortnightly show between the players and dungeon masters, talking through the latest episode. You should also check out behind the screen our monthly show that deep dives into D&D how-tos, like how to make an adventure module, how to be a dungeon master, or how Stinky Dragon is made. All of that and bonus audio content such as live shows, one-shots, mini-series, and more. This episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon

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And you four were at the top of the list of suspects. But now, do you know who did it? Do you know it was Carol? Well, the prevailing theory is, yes, that Carol murdered the wolfman, but the details and evidence are still in the wind. Did you know who we were before meeting us at the jail? No, I did not. You had no idea who any of us were? Well, I was aware that Carol was married. I mean,

you seem to know Matide. No, I'm afraid that was news to me. Siren knows Matide. And Siren's automaton that could be have been around for a while. Oh, it might do any wages. I feel like I might have missed some back pay. Before I answer that, I want to answer something else that you said right before that. To be clear, Siren is a steam golem. They weren't built by anyone here in Shath. Siren simply has always been here.

So whatever they are talking about regarding matade was before my time You think it's too much of an ass could we get Brent Spiner to do the voice for siren? I feel like getting data in there would be great. Is he on cameo? Cameo requests individual lines god, that's funny. Well, what about okay? Well, where is the Wolfman's daughter falling into this? I know you're gonna be like Classified information no more who we blew we we need to know all the facts because we got a help with this investigation Just yelling this entire episode I'm sorry. I don't mean to be too aggro, but like this is like

picking at chip a lot because there's so many people that knew about what was going on with his wife and now she's dead and I feel like chip would blame this morning. He's like profanity Nice year went missing weeks ago. We were unsure of her location. That's why we dispatched Sadate to locate her. Maybe to help us like feel confident about this whole situation. Maybe you tell us one time you guys actually had a successful mission. Yeah, that's true.

Wait, who was missing? You don't have a good track record so far. And once again, where's my back page? Isn't that always the way of secret organizations? When everything goes right, you don't know that anything happened at all. I've seen Burn After Reading, I know. Oh, you know that Benicio was in the vampire? Yes, well, well, that situation and she is back in friendly hands. You know who put her there?

There is still information to be debriefed from Sadate's intel. So you were tasked with keep, or someone was tasked with looking up on Eddie. What made Eddie a suspect before all of this? We learned of Eddie six months ago when he arrived in Fonoloc. He looked much different back then, large as a

giant to be sure, but much more normal. Back then Fonolotians were welcoming of all strangers, even humanoids. Eddie posed as a mullman's zealot and quickly gained the trust of the community. He knew the right things to say. That was our first red flag. We didn't know who he was or where he had come from, but somehow he knew things. Alright, I think Eddie's been dividing his soul into Horcruxes and has gotten uglier. Do you by any chance know the alchemist Robert Esteban? Yes, of course. We're going to need to work with him in order to bring things to a successful conclusion. Is he an agent of Sheath? Where does he fall into the hierarchy?

He's not an agent, but we do contract work with him occasionally. Have you properly vetted him? Because it sounds like you've been infiltrated on numerous occasions. I wouldn't say numerous. Have you ever metetted him? Because it sounds like you've been infiltrated on numerous occasions. Oh, I wouldn't say numerous. Have you ever met his son Henry? Yes, I know him, but before we get too off topic here, there's more to Eddie's story you should know. Okay. After some time, the Fonolotion community was celebrating a ritual called a Finitur, led by the archdruid Nessiterra,

or as many know her, Nessie. The ritual ceremony centers on communing with nature at the sacred shores of Loch Sestnus. During the ceremony, the Fornal Oceans immersed themselves in Loch Sestnus, seeking visions and guidance from the great Moor. Some were granted visions while others were returned to Moor, seen as a great honor. However, Eddie is an entirely different story. He waded into the lock but something happened to him.

Some say he was punished by the Great Maw, others say it was an allergic reaction. Whatever caused it, Eddie lost his skin and was changed into the disfigured creature you say today. So let me get this straight, during this ritual some people would have visions of the Maw and others would return to the Maw as if to say they died in the lake? Yes, they were reclaimed by the Maw. Visions of the Ma and others would return to the Ma as if to say they died in the lake? Yes, they were reclaimed by the Maul. You're so casual about a bunch of people drowning themselves in a lock. As I said, it's considered an honor. I'm not one to judge the cultural traditions of others.

I'm looking at my party. Am I crazy? Are there bodies left behind? I'll show you a movie called Midsommar. It'll teach you. It'll explain the whole thing. I hate Ari Aster. Both body and spirit are reclaimed by the maw. Okay. Are they... is the maw a creature living in the lake? The maw and the paw are like the two deities.

Yeah, but I'm like, is there like a physical manifestation of the maw? No, of course not. It's a deity. Okay. Okay. Okay. But back to Eddie. That day was the last time we saw him. All efforts were made to track him down, but he... He was just gone.

That is until three weeks ago, we heard whispers of someone in parish that matched his description. Weaded someone who had ties to that area of Grotesh. Okay, so this ritual went wrong He lost his skin got all weird and then flood correct. Wait So where is sheath's stance on Ma and Pa? Shathes is independent of any religious affiliation Okay, sure, but like you guys know of you know, all the different cultures and all the different lands. So like, generally speaking, which is the more like, I don't know, peaceful religion? Most Grotethians tend to gravitate more towards the more, while most Abrailians lean toward the poor. Right. But that is brushing with broad strokes.

There are exceptions, of course. And whenever Eddie disrupted this ceremony, did it impact any of the other people in the lake? Not that we're aware of. Just him. Yes. Furthermore, we now know what Eddie was after. He's been trying to uncover an ancient secret. That's what led him to work with Hugo, who has been around Roteth longer than most.

That secret is kept hidden beneath the log's cessness. It could prove catastrophic if Hugo discovers it. It's only a matter of time before Hugo reveals his plans in Fonolog and seeks to infiltrate the lock. I understand you have a way of contacting the alchemist. Yeah, I can't this day. What? We need him to come in and concoct an elixir for us. Something that will help us protect the secret from Hugo.

Okay. Can you tell us what's locked under what ancient secret is locked under lockcessness? That I'm afraid is on a purely need-to-know basis. Well, we clearly need to know. What we need is to stop Hugo. Well, you need us to help you, so... Yes, to stop Hugo. Yeah, and we need to know in order to want to stop you.

What, I guess what would... If Hugo uncovered the secret, what would that do? Would it give him power or the, you know... To put it mildly, it would be a disaster. The world would be upended and the fear that I have as Director of Sheath is that if I divulge intel to people like yourselves then you could become compromised by Hugo. Are you aware that the alchemist's wife was in a relationship with your former director and does that impact

anyone's ability to do their job because that seems like a conflict of interests? Isn't they a triangle? I mean, it would be if, thinking about it from my perspective, if the alchemist knew that his wife was with the director, he might not be that happy towards sheath, right? Yeah, but wasn't it a full triangle? He was also with the director because they have a son or a daughter together.

Oh my God, you're right. Yes, we know that now. It was a full triangle, equilateral. Uh... I don't understand triangles! At first, it did complicate things, but the former director gave me assurances that assuaged my concerns.

Yeah, I'm sure you don't need to flag that to HR or nothing. Yeah, I'm sure it's all good. I'm sure it's all fine. Don't worry. I'm also in charge of HR now One more thing you can bring your concerns directly to me director Weezer I have one more question for you. It's is there anyone else that's an agent of sheath You gotta tell me cuz you've been nothing when he comes out of the woodwork. I'm gonna stab him

I pull out Gigi and I talk to Gigi and I say, go touch it. I am an agent of sheath. Gigi walks up to you, opens its mouth and you hear Mateed's voice. I am an agent of sheath. Barney raises his hand. You think it's a cat.

Let me answer his question first. For security purposes, we can't divulge your agents names for fear of them becoming compromised. Mr. Farny, you have a question? Barney looks around really scared. Am I an agent of Sheath? Well, no.

Weezer just goes, God no. Perhaps you might be one of our best agents if you were. So this elixir that we have to get the alchemist to make, is that for Hugo to drink or what is it for? My understanding is that it will be something that could protect you. Go for us. Indeed. Okay. I do have one question.

Remind me, which vampire was I going after? Was I going after Hugo? That I don't know. That was before my time. Siren, what was I going after your target was Hugo Bondra? I wasn't the only one Okay, your dad killed me he did yeah Little belt killed you no

Wait didn't the belt you were wearing a belt though. No, no. Yeah though. No, no. Yeah. Sorry. I thought McKeed had a vision of the same belt around them. No, I got bit. Yeah. I recall a belt being in the past as well. I recall it being Berenstein Bears. Oh my god. Shazam? I'm afraid time is of the essence. We need you to write the Alchemist a letter using your Cartus di'aya. The letter needs to convince him to come to Funlock immediately. And meet at the Arneen amphitheatre. Yeah, yeah, yeah, alright, alright. He also needs to send the recipe of his anti-cessness elixir. Sheath Intel indicates he's been working on it for some time.

I have a question. Are you 100% sure you can trust Alchemist? I really agree. I don't think he can. Your concerns are noted, but he's the best asset we have in the coming fight and we need him. What about us? Well, we need you too. Well, who do you need more? Well, if I had to choose... The alchemist.

Okay, so we need to just write to him, Chip, if you want to take out your pen. You got it perception check chip. That is a 8. Listen, you gotta stop asking me for perception checks. I'm gonna fail them every time. Okay, like Weezer said you need to write a letter convincing the alchemist to come to Fondaloc, meet at the Onning App at the theater and bring the rest or send the recipe for his anti-cessness elixir. Anti what? Cessness? Like lock-cessness? Thank you. So Chip are you gonna write the letter? Yeah sure why not what the heck? All right what are you gonna write? Actually no. All right who's gonna write it? I slide it over to Mateed. Here you go word Smith. Mateed make me a perception check. Oh, okay. All part of my master plan. There you go. That's a 14.

As Chip is sliding the, um, the card to stay over to you, you see like a glint of light bounce off of his cold badge. And you look at it and you realize that it's different. The letters on his cold badge have changed from C O L-L-D to S-H-E-A-T-H. Oh, okay. Wait, what? So he's now a sheath agent? Apparently. S-H-E-A-T-H.

I do nothing. You didn't tell me this. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right, what do you write on the letter? Yeah. I was half paying attention to your instructions because I knew Blaine had to take care of it You said you want him to come here, but also to send his the recipe for the anti

Says yeah exactly nothing else. No, that's it Yeah, we we need to we need that recipe for the elixir so we can get the ingredients ready for him Just ask him if he's an agent of sheath Just just just ps are you agent of sheath? Please? Yes or no? What's the limit on the cartis de Iao? Cartis de Iao are yonder letters or pairs of parchment that allow two creatures to communicate long distances via the written word Any writing implement may be used to write a short letter of 25 words or less Okay

Right there. I don't want to use the quilt. I want to go over to the typewriters You said there's typewriters I Oh yeah, there are typewriters. I'm gonna go do that and and prove that I'm listening to you Gus. Yeah. Here you go. I'm gonna count it for you on my hands. Okay Uhhhh Uhhhh I'm not starting yet. I'm not starting yet. I'm the one typing. I'm the one typing.

I'm gonna throw this heavy metal dice over it. It is very heavy. It is very heavy. Um... Bonjour. Really? Really? One. He's being put. This is Matide Compisus.

The Eric Cochran ghost monk. Eric Cochran's one word. I think we only have one use of this, by the way. Yeah, you have eight. All right. How many have I done? Eight. Eight? Okay. Nine.

Bonjour, this is Matthe, compus you the Eric Hawken ghost monk. I was right then. You said I was wrong. I didn't. Yeah. All right, anyway, we'll do one. How are you? I'm fine.

Oh my God. Gigi is to how many am I at what my count that's 17 17 I got plenty you have seven words left that's plenty come to sheath anti-cessness what elixir was anti-cess isness what? Elixir. Elixir? Was anti-cess-ness hyphenated? Yes. Okay. Does that count as one word then?

Send anti-cess-ness elixir. Recipe. 24. And then I have Gigi get a little ink on his paw and do a paw print on it. Oh, cute. 25. Do pictures count? Emojis?

How many emojis can I use? We'll say each emoji counts as one. Could Elga come over? It doesn't include it, but scribbles on the bottom. I am also a Beth. You start scribbling, but the paper just won't take. It won't write on there. All right, make me a persuasion check, Mateed.

That's a 17. That's a 17. Okay, yeah, you fire off. What am I doing a persuasion check with this? Oh, cause I'm sending him a message asking for it. Right, yeah. So. It makes sense. How persuasive was my typing?

It's pretty good, 17, pretty good. Your inquiry about how he's doing is much appreciated. No one ever takes the time to ask. What's the most persuasive margins? What about type? One inch. One inch, okay. Did you use Comic Sans?

Yeah, yeah. It's a typewriter. After a moment, you get a response. I'm not entirely sure what's happening, but I appreciate the urgency and gravity of the situation. I can be in final lock in an hour. And then there's a list at the end of it. See, nailed it. I nailed it.

Iron Ore, Dragon Leaf tree root, Lockwid, Archone flowers, and Wolfsbane. One more time. Iron Ore? Iron Ore, Dragon Leaf tree root, Lockwid, like L-O-C-H-Q-U-I-D, liquid from Locksessness. Archone flowers, like Arcane flowers, but then O instead of N. Fancy. And Wolfsbane. And a spoonful of sugar to help the medicine go down Is it wolfsbane the stuff that the wolfman was? Taking I am wolfsbane right here is a plant back in the like first couple episodes

I put wolfsbane in a book and pressed in Spain and a bullsbane burrito And like pressed it to save it you did. Yeah, nice. Wolf's Bein. Wolf's Bein. Wolf's Bein Burrito. And pressed it to save it. You did? Yeah. Nice. There's no time to waste. I'm sending you all back into the village of Fonoloc to collect the ingredients we need for the elixir. The only ingredient that isn't local is ironically the one we already have, thanks to Barnabas Farny. Well, looky here. That's to Bonobus Farny. Well looky here. That's Agent Burnivus Burny.

It's in my alms box. Do we still have those badges? The cold badges that are switched now? Yes, you think about that and you look at it and you realize that now it no longer says C-O-L-D. It says S-H-E-A-T-H. Look our magic badges changed just to say schist. Isn't that a bad idea? It's like hey look secret agent man Well, perhaps you should cover it up. Why are you wearing it like that? Why don't you think I should be wearing it to begin with what if we get captured?

Well, how else are you going to identify yourself to another sheath agent in there like a secret handshake? Yeah, you know in dagger. We've got a secret Little chant well, do you want to make a secret handshake? We could make one right now. Well, I mean, are you gonna communicate it to every other agent of Sheath? No, it could be our handshake. How is it a secret if everyone knows it?

It's just because the agents of Sheath know it. No, no, no, we need to develop a handshake for every agent. Gus has figured out how to yes Andy right now and still make you mad. That's cool. Chief Inspector Wizard, I apologize for my friendship. I think it just hasn't had

his breakfast this morning. Would you like a day old donut? He's a little hangry. I may help myself not to perpetuate any stereotypes. I was gonna say. I'm hungry. I am too.

They're old men who eat early. So do you present the wolfsbane, Barney? I mean, yeah. Good answer. You mean yeah or yeah? Yeah, yeah, I mean, I thought I did. Oh no, I'm just like, I'm clarifying. So you pull it out of your own mouth.

You said you had it. I found it. You are using your pickaxe to get Minecraft materials. Sorry, I just realized that as I thought about the ingredients. Were you doing like Minecraft music? Siren reaches out one of their appendages to you Barney. Careful, it's poisonous. Man, you're remembered. I was to you Barney careful. It's poisonous

All right, yeah, how do you hand it over then or you just let siren grab it well Are we giving them all until we collect them or are we giving them as we get them? Maybe it wouldn't be the worst to just have it there for safekeeping at HQ that way we don't lose it out of the field I mean, I've had it this entire time. I know, but you know... Uh, I'll keep it for now because I don't... Are you certain you can hand it over to Siren for safekeeping in case anything happens? Just give it to him. Just give it. Just give it. Just give it. Like what? You could get robbed.

Yes. Old men like you are targets on the train. That's true All right, can I give siren some of it but I had a how much of it is need can't keep some Okay, give like half of it. Yeah, I know you can't let go of anything Suspicious of like just like giving away stuff. Yeah, like a hoarder Just like giving away stuff. Yeah, like a hoarder. Yes! He didn't have his case with that. Yes! You should see my apartment! Yeah, something you've never used has just been in your sheet.

Well, I had it immediately. To maximize our time, I would recommend that you all split up into teams of two. Each team will find and secure one ingredient from the recipe. I will send Sedate and Siren as one team and two more of my agents as another. That leaves you four to split into pairs. Okay. Bring your father to work day.

Morning. I grab Chip. Yeah. And we fly on. Um, I guess this would be a good father-daughter bonding moment. I would be honored. Okay.

Why do you whisper that so? Also, do you want to call me Kaliope or Elga? I don't really... What do you want? I mean, I've been called by Elga for this long, so... Okay. I'll be Elga. You may call me Ellen. Alright, so we...

Which I just think you're saying Ellen. We have Elga and Barney and then Chip and Mateed. What ingredient does each pair want to go for? We want to get the iron bar. Iron ore? There's iron ore, lockwood, dragon leaf, tree root, arcane, arcone flowers. I think I kept saying dragon leaf. It should be dragon leaf. Dragon leaf.

What you wanna get Chip? Dragon leaf tree root? Do these seem like more like floral type things, plants? I was gonna say iron ore. That should probably go to Elga cause they might have to mine for it. Get it. Use that axe.

So if Elga and Barney are going for the iron ore, then Chipmunk have to choose between dragon leaf tree root, lockwood or arcone flowers. You want lockwood? Let's go lockwood. Hope you didn't go for that one. Good. That does sound fun. More dangerous. I'm down for it. I want adventure. We're just getting some iron. I'm secretly trying to get Chip killed so he's a ghost with me. Goat buddies. Yeah, I welcome death, I miss my wife. Siren turns around, opens up a couple of drawers and rummages around for a second, then spins around, hand open, outstretched

in front of you all. High five. I know, that's what I was thinking. In Siren's hands are four rings that you high five out and they clatter down onto the floor. All right, see you later. Chip awkwardly gets on his knees and has to pick them all up. I call heart. rings that you high five out and they clatter down onto the floor Alright see you later! Chip awkwardly gets on his knees and has to pick them all up

I call heart Are they different in some way? The rings? These rings are ring of fauna form And what does that do? Animals Animals? Oh do we look like the Nessians? You can change your appearance to appear like a local fauna lotion. Oh, fauna lotion.

So there's four of them. What do they look like? Oh, I'm glad you asked. Yay. Give yourself an inspiration. Thank you. We're asking a question. I'm just kidding.

It's a bronze ring that's inscribed with a rune. It's not necessarily in a language you understand, but it looks kind of like, from your perspective or the languages you know, it looks like an M and a W joined together with like a tongue shape, like an A between them. Like a MA? Kinda, yeah. It's just you pronounce it, MA? You?

MA. What do you mean you? MA? What do fauna lotions look like? Metagame wise, you can choose an appearance of one of the different fauna fams. There's like six different ones. So the ring will allow you to disguise your physical appearance as well as your clothing, your armor, your weapons and everything. And it takes an action for you to activate it, an action if you want to dismiss it.

If you don't dismiss it, it'll last for an hour. There are K-miners, which are like dog-like moles that live in dens and are proficient at digging. Defolins, which are ethereal cats that live in tree roots and they're proficient at defense. Didn't we fight, or though we came across those. You did. Urstructs, which are bipedal bear-like beasts

that live in caves and proficient at building. Benequins, which are elemental horses that live in fields and they're proficient at therapy. We need one of those. Aromers, which are squirrel-like lemurs that live in in fields and they're proficient at therapy. Hmm, we need one of those. Aromers, which are squirrel-like lemurs that live in tree tops and they're proficient at reconnaissance. That's the other one we can't count. And Refibs, which are Saurian quadrupeds with protruding bones that live near the lake and they're proficient at medicine. Oh, maybe the Refibs are good for the loch-wid.

Yeah, but they don't sound as fun as a big old bear guy. I figured you were gonna go with Beniquin because you're a horse girl. I was actually thinking the deaf one so that way you could have me and Gigi. Meow! We gotta go to the water though. I mean you do you. Okay, so Elga picks up her ring, at least. Same. As you all are picking them Same. Weezer says, Remember, each team has one hour to get their ingredient.

Then everyone meets back at the Ornene Amphitheater, due West. Any questions? Can we race? If you turn into one thing, can you turn it and you don't like it, can you change into the other one? Yes. The ring has two charges. Okay.

Where are we meeting when we find our ingredients? The Ornene Amphitheater. Where's the amphitheater? You can't miss it. It's due west from here once you're on the surface level again. Is it amphitheater? Cause is it on the water front?

Yes. It's amphitheater because it can be either in the water or on the land. It is due west. Okay. Just hold the ring high above your head say form of and then the form you want Okay, I put my ring towards chip so we can touch rings while we do it wonder friends activate

Ghost buddies form of refib or form of form of form of a devilins form of K minor and form of... form of a... DEFALINS! Form of... K-minor! And form of... EARSTRUG! With our powers combined, we are sheath! Captain Plan! NO!

At that point, a spiral staircase lowers from the ceiling, and y'all make your way back upstairs to the surface. Judging by the increased mugginess and shadows on the forest floor, it would appear to be early afternoon. Dadaute and Siren transform into aeromers and head into the trees along with other sheathed agents. Just to see who's gonna go first, one of each of you from the pair roll a d20 just to determine it.

16. And we are a seven. Okay, so we're gonna go with Chipmunk first. All the actions are happening at the same time So we'll kind of cut back and forth. I'm gonna set a timer if things drag we can keep going We make sure we keep going. Okay, give ten minutes each or until you accomplish it or whatever We only need five you all were going for the lock with correct. Yes So you head over, you know to lock cessness, which is incredibly easy to find

As you're approaching the shore of the lake, you see a refib wandering around. Bonjour, Batherin! Oh, you're a refib, right? Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. You startle her and she looks up, Oh, oh, hello there.

You must have snuck up on me. Yes, I must have. How are you doing today? Good. My name's Cobb. What's your name? Dob. Dob? My brother's name is Cobb. What's your name? Dob. My brother's name is Dob.

It's a beautiful name. Yeah. Yeah. Very, very common name. Yes. What are you all up to? Just viewing the lake, you know. Just kind of palling around.

Palling around. Yeah. Mickey, both of you make a perception check. 17. Ooh, 19. Look at you. Yeah. It didn't matter. You should have been a perception check. 17. Ooh, 19. Look at you! Yeah, it didn't matter. You shivin' a cat this whole time!

Cobb says, I don't think I've seen you two here before. Are you all new in town? No. Yeah, we're just from the other side of the lock. The other side of the lock? Uh-huh. What's over there? Oh, it's...

It's a phrase, you know, it's not actually literally the other side of the lock, you know, it's like on the other side of town. Yeah. Make a deception check, Chip. Okay. 19. Yeah. Okay, I just didn't realize there's anything over there.

I guess you must have your own cabin or something. Yeah, you should come visit sometime. Oh, really? Give me specific directions. I'd love to. Well, you look at the lock, get in across that lock, you should come visit sometime. Oh, really? Give me specific directions. I'd love to. Well, you look in the lock, get in across that lock, that's where we are. Oh, okay. You just gotta have to come visit us sometime. You notice as you're talking and, you know, pointing and giving directions

that Cob seems to be carrying a crate and there's another crate behind her on the ground. What's in the crate? What's in the box? What's in the crate? This, I'm setting up to the corner cops just north of here. I've got my ancestral remembrance tee. Oh yeah? Yeah.

I sell it there at the market. How much? How much? Well, it depends. What do you have for trade? We got gold from the outside world, you know, but also some wares. How much? Yeah, you know, maybe we can bargain.

We'd love to support local business, You know, us being from the lock. Blaine just looked at me with the widest eyes possible. Don't have much use for gold. Yeah, me neither. That's what I'm trying to get rid of it. Am I right? I have a gemstone. Hey, where are your piercings?

I- That's a very good question. I remember back. I go, where are my piercings? What happened? Oh no, no, da where'd your piercings go? What about yours? I didn't get your name. I remember back to the defolins that we fought sleight of hand to high five. We, we, we fought those two deaf lens. Do I recall piercings on them? Neither of us are definitely. I'm a deaf one. Oh, you're definitely I'm a cat. Make a wisdom check. Okay. One. I remember

them too. I'm going to, I'm going to do an inspiration. And that, okay. Thank God 17 17. You remember that one? That's Bob yelling 17 One of the defilants did have Pearson. Where was it? The one that you saw had it on the ear? Okay, I Spin around as if to be like you like like patting myself down and then in that moment I Use okay, I have a I have a disguise kit Then in that moment I use your ear right now I'll use Okay, I have a I have a disguise kit Can I can I like briefly just kind of like tap my body and then as I turn around like slip like? Something under my ear make a slight hand check. Okay. All right That would be you gotta be high on this. That's okay. I got it. No, I'm saying you you're a rogue

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I'll be all right 19. Okay. You definitely as a devil and put a clip on your ring on okay turn around say, oh there it is I guess I didn't see it. Yeah, you know, where's yours? I don't stop talking You're making it worse. You really just like, you found that hole and you're just digging in. You like, kind of your head popped up for a second and then just immediately went right back down into it. John also just articulated my feelings on most stinky dragons. Stop talking, you're making it worse. You don't know anything.

Just making conversation. Conversation. I don't know anything. Just making conversation. Conversation. So, Dob, I guess you lost it. Do you need help? Here, let me look down. I'll help you look. And Cob begins looking around on the ground. And as she does so, she kind of loses grip on the crate of Ancestral Remembrance Tea that she has. And it drops to the ground and the crate cracks open and the tea spills everywhere including on you guys

Both of you make dexterity saving throws. Oh, it's like TT. Yeah, I'm for some reason my brain went like tea leaves So what's the same doing? That's an 18 that you say that and you're gonna fail it 22 yeah the glass shards and liquid fly everywhere. Both of you successfully make your saving throw. So you only take one point of damage from like the glass that hits you. Oh my mom, so sorry. Please. I need to do something to make this up to you. Here, let me see what I have. I'll give you something. Okay. Okay. Dob, that's no worries. Dob. Cob. Cob. Your friend is Dob. Yeah. Sorry. I have, you know, bonked on the head this morning. How close are we to the lock? Can I throw him? There we go.

Is your friend okay, Dob? He's had a rough day. Yeah. He asked me about my piercings, which is just bizarre. You asked about my piercings? Okay, sorry. All the other Deathlands have been making fun of him lately, and he's going through a rough time,

and I thought bringing him down to the lock would be a nice little day to get him out, you know, and so he's just a little off today. Oh, I understand. You know how it goes. Here, Here I'll tell you what if it's okay with you two I'll give you a couple bottles of my ancestral remembrance tea here one each. Oh cool yeah. I'm so again so sorry. That's okay thank you so much what a gracious gift. Ancestral remembrance. I guess we'll have to figure out what this does later because I think asking right now would be a bad idea Medigame wise it's a potion of guidance. Oh

Okay, well I have to hurry I have to get to the corner cops you two stay safe out there May may the mob be with you. Oh, yes and with you. See you later Cobb Yeah, Cobb begins marching off carrying the crate to the north. I turned the chip and go, nailed it. Yeah, guys, you're so good at this. We should be... Forget that I'm already one. Oh, yeah, you're right. Let's go get this liquid.

But that's one of the oldest, maybe. I found a chief. You don't know. And neither do you. I don't. You don't know. Do you know?. I don't. You don't know. Do you know? Someone tell me.

All right, yeah, you walk up and the lock is huge. It's massive lapping up against the shore there. I'm gonna take a pause there and we'll switch to the other group at that point. A paw? We'll switch back over to Barney and Elga. Do you all have a team name? Do we?

Hmm. Uh, team name? Hmm. Team Family Matters. I call Urkel. Did I do that? You all walk to the outskirts of town and come upon the framed entrance of a mine in the side of a hill. And we're doggies? I'm a doggy, you're a bear.

I'm a bear. Standing outside of the- Look at his character. Yeah. Standing outside of the mine is an elderly decrepit K-miner with a pierced nose named Edgardo. Why did I say that?

With a pierced nose. He looks up at you and he kind of perks up. Oh, hello. Hello there. If we could guess your name, can I get into the mine? Is it Edgardo? Hell, how did you know that? He kind of perks up. Oh Hello Of course, you know, it's on my name tag right here. Oh Yes, is that like Ed but you're a guard of the mine so it's Edgardo? I never thought of it that way. Guess my name.

You are Robert. No but close. This is gonna go on forever. Um, Rbaldo. You got it! Oh, Rbaldo, good to meet you. We're friends now. Great talk show.

Oh yes, would you care for a seat, Rbaldo? A seat? Yeah, right next to me. He pats the chair next to where you are. Oh, I see. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry We're friends now. Great talk show. Oh yes, would you care for a seat, Robaldo?

A seat? Yeah, right next to me. He pats the chair next to where he's sitting. Okay. I'm just looking to get some iron, just you know. Oh, you came to the right place. Cool. You see, this mine has all kinds of ores and minerals.

In fact, my grandson's down there right now. He's a miner. I'm waiting for him to get off working first shift. You're making miners work? Yeah. Child labor? Staring at Barbara. That was pretty good.

Yeah, of course. Where else do you expect miners to work but in the mine? Their small hands can get in there. They're so cheap. They're so cheap. They're so cheap. They're so cheap. They're so cheap.

They're so cheap. As you're talking, a violent tremor begins shaking the ground. Both of you make dexterity saving throws. Do I get advantage on this? Yeah, you would. Okay. 18. Oh man.

6. That's worth advantage. Rbaldo, you manage to stay on your feet. However, Elga, you fall to the ground. The mine collapses with rocks falling into it. Oh no! Oh no! Charlie! You two, you have to help me! We have to save my grandson! Of course! That's my dog. The mole voice. Yes, we must save him and also get the iron we are looking for in the process.

Yes, I'm sure the tremor freed it from the walls of the mine. Could Elga get up and go to try to start clearing, I'm guessing like fallen rocks and whatnot? Edgardo says, wait, wait, before you do that, let us pray to the great ma to give you the luck and the strength to successfully free the miners. One of you, please recite your favorite proverb. Oh, so many.

Favorite proverb? Yes, of course. Let's bow your heads. This is of course from the divine breath, the wisdom from the mom and tradition. What other one would we choose? Can I do like a history check, see if I know any of this?

If not, I can just totally- Make a religion check. Ooh. 15. I like how you said that was such- I was- It's not bad. That's a good roll.

I guess if you don't have any modifiers. Yeah. Yeah. I'm going to send you one. I was really hoping to hear Chris just improvise. I kind of was too. Let me behind the curtain. He's not going to get the entire thing. He's going to have to improvise a little bit. Okay. It's mad. Let's. The great barbwraith. So do we live and in its exhale we return to the We return to the the lake Edgardo's eyes open he looks up at you. That's not how I remember Excels we return to the pale She's pale. Just curious. I don't know. It's the new King James version.

As we do live, as the Great Ma breathes, so do we live. And in its exhale, we return to the... death? My right ear is just very shaken by the drummers. I understand. Yeah, it's just very nervous. Of course, as the Great Ma breathes, so do we live. And in its exhale, we return to the cosmic gorge. Clearly. Yes, that's what I was trying to think of.

Apparently. May the Ma bless us and give us the strength to free those trapped. Amen. Amen. Amen. Amen. It's good.

All right, so Elga, you said you were gonna go and try to start like sifting through the rubble. Yeah, like clearing it out of the, I guess, opening. Yeah, why don't you go ahead and make me a strength check, why not? Net 20 and a 25. Nice. And as this dog miner thing that I am,

do I have any abilities to like dig also? Well, it's not that it transforms you into these creatures, it's more like a disguise. So you don't really have anything like- It doesn't give you abilities? Right, exactly. You know, it's more like a disguise. So you don't really have anything like- It doesn't give you abilities. Right, exactly. You know, it's very illusionary. So like, for example, if it gave you an appendage

that you don't actually have and someone went to like touch it, they would just pass through there. The things that we're proficient at as these forms, we aren't actually proficient at, like in reality. Correct. Those creatures have those proficiencies, but you do not. Gotcha. So how are you going to approach it?

Barney Helga said she was going to go up and start moving some of the rubble. She got a 25 on a strength check. Yeah, it's rock, not metal. Correct. Then I would just, I think I'd use my walker and like whack at it like a pickaxe, double sided pickaxe thing. Sure. Make a strength check as well. Rock and stone. Oh, dirty Tony.

Nice. Yeah, you both begin very quickly pulling out rocks and smashing them to bits and sifting it away. Edgardo tries to help a little bit, but he's pretty old. He's kind of feeble, but he does his best to help out. After a little bit of time, you all are able to clear enough way so that you can see some miners who are injured and trapped. Could I reach them by any chance? Yeah, you're able to. You're kind of small. You can scamper in there.

And I want to pull them out. Okay, yeah. Make another strength check. Dirty 20. Okay, yeah. You grab on and you're able to lead some of the miners out including Charlie Oh, thank ma for you all we thought we were trapped in there for sure. It's a good thing we prayed Yo, yes indeed. Oh speaking of which let's all recite another line

From the divine breath, please you saved us you lead us in in prayer. They all bow their heads Okay, feels like this town is just perpetually at church camp. Yeah Okay, I'll send you part of one okay we bow our heads to feed on Our souls Is to nourish the soul In sacrifice we find the essence of ma. Let's look at each other quizzically. Maybe they got hit on the head a little harder than they realized when they were down below.

And Edgardo says, Oh, don't worry, they're they're they're just a little exhausted. Maman. What? What? Seen to the print. Amen. But maman. Oh, and're just a little exhausted. Maman. What? What? The scene of the print, amen, but maman. Oh, and then Edgardo continues. To feed the great ma is to nourish the soul. In sacrifice, we find the essence of devotion. Yes, that is what I said.

Yes, yes, of course. It sounds like maybe the trauma of almost losing your grandson made you hear different things. Oh, wow. Okay, I just helped you out. Elga's into trauma blaming. To feed the soul, what was it?

To feed? The maw. The great maw. The great maw. Is to nourish the soul. In sacrifice, we find the essence of devotion. Oh, that's like that lake ritual where they just threw a bunch of bodies in the lake and... Midsummer.

As you finish up your prayer, Elga, you spot various pieces of ore amongst the debris in the rubble. Could I pick it up? Yeah. Finally, we got the ore. Or did we? Could we pick some up? Yeah.

You just did what you said a few episodes ago was hard to do. Laugh in voice. Can we take it back with us? Yeah. Where are you all going again? The amphitheater. In town. Due west. All right. Can we take it back with us? Yeah. Where are you all going again? The amphitheater in town due west. All right.

Yeah. You all grab some more and make your way to the amphitheater. We'll cut back to Chipmunk over there. Yeah. So you two are standing at the edge of the lock. Well, guess you got to get some lockwood. I take a piece of rope and I wrap it around Chip and I throw him into the lake. I'm a cat.

I'm a cat, I'm a deafling. Err, err. I'm fishing for stuff. All right, yeah, so you tie the rope around Chip and toss him into the lock. Chip, make me a constitution saving throw. Okay. At 20.

He was mad for the water Yeah, you get tossed into the lock with and then I guess Matide you pulled him out. Yeah at open your mouth I also have empty bottles from like the jar of the baboon and all that stuff You've also forgotten the last five minutes your memories just like oh am I how long ago was our interaction? I don't want to forget it would be a little last five minutes. It's like your conversation with Cobb here at the At the shore. I'll tell you about God later. Okay. I don't know how I ended up in the water But I guess I guess is not quit so I start bottling it up perfect and I reel him in okay Make me a strength check just to pull Chip in.

That's a nine. You don't have a, you don't have a. Maybe because Chip's all wet, it's a, there's a current that's pulling him out. It's a, it's really hard. And Chip, with all the, with all the lockwood you've bottled up, you begin slowly sinking into the lock. OK.

I start. Maybe a constitution check to see if you're able to hold your breath, okay? Hehehehe The plan is working. Just to check the clock. Hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe. . muscles I make another pole all right make another pole make another strength check yeah totally gonna be fine

is this a saver check did you know that this is how you would die you feel What'd you roll? One! You feel, uh... I'll deal with Carol soon. The world closing down, uh, blackness taking over your vision. Your vision only coming down to small points in front of your eyes. I yell out, Chip stop playing around and get over here! I feel at peace. No, no! I'm fine! Can I do another check? You have, Chip, you have a vision of murky liquids swirling all around you. Carol, I'm fine. Can I do another check? You have Chip, you have a vision of murky liquids swirling all around you.

Carol, I'm coming! And you see silhouettes above you. Angels? Oh, it's like when I died. Mateed, make another strength check. Definitely no belt. 15. Okay, maybe you weren't able to get a good grip on the rope or something, but finally you're able to grasp it well and you pull Chip out of the water onto the ground and Chip is not breathing.

Here it comes. Yuck. Mouth to mouth. I saw Blaine take a very violent sip of his water and I was like, yep. I do the chest compressions. Oh, OK. Yeah, you give Chip a couple of chest compressions. Oh, okay. Yeah, you give chip a couple of chest compressions make a medicine check

Chip spits out a bunch of water pops it up and you hear like a rib snap Chip you are back in the land of the living. Oh, indeed. I think I belly flopped into that lock. I don't remember. I go close to him, I go, I saved you. I owe you a Wookie life debt. Yes, you do in fact.

Now let me tell you about this friend named Cobb. Tell me more. What is my name in this situation? Cobb is this mean ref refib who threw you into the lake. All right, so you've got your lockwood. Okay, do my memories come back? I love when a plant comes together. But will they though?

I don't know. Oh, I don't want to forget Cobb. Lovely exchange. All right, so do you all head back to the amphitheater as well? Yeah, to the east. No. We go to the opposite directionater as well? Yeah to the east We want to go to the other side of the lock to see where we live. Oh, right

Yeah, you eventually go around the entire world. You'll get there As you're walking to the amphitheater Your your memories do start to come back chip. Okay after a while and I am After gathering your respective ingredients, you all make haste through the sultry shrubbery until you each come upon what is clearly the awning amphitheater. Shaded stadium seating carved from logs and circle an elephantine stump dressed in flowers. Standing atop the stump stage is the alchemist with his back to you, looking at the sun-setting shores of the lock. But you see no sign of the other sheath agents. Vibe check.

Yeah, vibe check. Vibe check. Should we talk to him first? Vibe check. Jeez. Make your vibe checks. All that sugar's hitting everyone. What is it, perception?

Insight. They don't let you tell the story. I know, I've got a long block of green here. That's fine, vibe check. 11, 23. Something seems off. The little hairs on the back of your neck stand up and you hear a very slow clap.

Oh no. And high up in the shaded Western stands, you see a dark figure rise from a seat in the very back. Oh, how I love the theater, the drama, the suspense, the twists. And the figure steps forward into the light. You see the pale man with blonde curly hair wearing a top hat, black suit and red ascot. But he isn't alone.

Ah, but what is an outing without family, right father? To the north you see a young girl with piercing blue eyes emerge from shady leaves. She curtsies her silk, black and blue dress, then yanks on a translucent chain, and an elvish woman in navy cloak falls to the ground, bound in see-through shackles and gagged with a red ascot. A third voice calls from the south. Personally, I come for the comedy. But I stay for the tragedy. You turn to see a green-eyed, skinless figure take to the stage and quickly kick the alchemist

to his knees. Eddie grips the man's neck with a clawed hand, his jagged smile never fading. Now everyone take a seat and let's enjoy the GRAND FINALTY! Oh Man I yell at a vana. I must send you to another realm permanently. Wait today. Are we still doggies? Find out what that means in the next episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon. Oh man, dun dun dun! Did you know you can directly support the show by becoming a patron at patreon.com slash stinky dragon? Patrons like at joeman20xtx, at nataliefestin, at suze, at patrickmovie, and at ethanceletti.

For as little as $5 a month these patrons directly support the show and get ad free episodes, access to our patron only discord server, bonus content like second win and behind the screen, and coming soon in July, C-Squad, a superhero D&D mini-series. Not a patron yet? Here's a taste of what you're missing. Um, Gus, why don't you introduce yourself? Oh my god, you found me. Hi. You're Madeline, right? I Aeneas. You probably don't know me. Aeneas? Is that like actually a real name?

Yeah. You can call me Darkias. Everyone calls me Darkias. Wow, that's really not that much better. Well, kids make fun of Aeneas. And not Dorkias? Well, they gave me the name Dorkias and I don't think it was with good intentions. Well, are you also waiting for this bus? Yeah, I kind of wish they would get here. Yeah, if you could just stay five feet away from me

or something. I don't want people to think that we're friends or we know each other. I get it. I get it. That's why I'm in the bus. Dorquius or Gus. It's OK. You can call Gus Dorkius as well.

Again that's patreon.com slash stinky dragon. We can't thank you enough for your support that lets us make this show. This week's arrow question was submitted by Chaz Surfboard on Discord. Here's some NPCs in this episode that were submitted by or named after patrons. Siren the Steam Golem, named for technically Siren. Edgardo the Caved-In K-Minor, named by Navidude. Charlie the Kid K-Minor, named after Sticky Charles. And Cobb, the recompensing Refib, named after Cabo. Also want to thank some friends who provided voiceover

for characters in this episode, like the Alchemist, voiced by Blizz, at BlizzBear. Eddie, voiced by Andrew Rosas, at Mr. Andrew Rosas. Evanna von Brath is voiced by Kristen Nelson at Kristenna Lynn. Hugo von Brath voiced by Trevor Collins at underscore Trevor C. Sadati Tempor voiced by Patty Reisinger. And Weezer voiced by Micah Reisinger at Micah Reisinger. This episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon was produced by Ben Ernst, written, edited, and composed by Micah Reisinger. Head over to patreon.com slash stinkydragon for all things stinky.

Tune in next time for another thrilling episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon. PSA to all youngins listening. Ben, we've got to reclassify this podcast is educational. Hope you take that PR coming out of my mouth and PR public funded. We can't compete with that. We're not even funded.