Tales from the Stinky Dragon - C02 - Ep. 50 - Finale in Faunaloch - Unloching A Secret

Episode Date: August 13, 2024

The Grotethe Gang have cleared their name but there is one final secret of Grotethe they must uncover while chasing down the slippery mastermind of their arrest! Support us directly on Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/stinkydragon - get access to ad-free episodes, bonus content like Stinky Dragon Adventures & Second Wind, our patreon-exclusive discord, and more! Follow us on our socials at https://linktr.ee/TalesFromTheStinkyDragon Go to http://katoskoffee.com and use code Stinky5 for 5% off your order. Go to http://HeroForge.com and use code STINKY to get 5% off all orders of physical miniatures. Go to http://shopify.com/dragon to sign up for a $1-per-month trial period. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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charred chocolate sauce, whole fat milk, minus the milk, a grappling of rum cracker crumbs, and topped with a hearth of harsh mellows. One sip of this scorching sauce, you'll have a tummy ache that can only be described as lit. Previously our adventurers were arrested in Atra City, met a menace in Musketon, uncovered

a carcassoup coup, grasped the gims of Glurp, proved passé in Par parish, unveiled vengeance invania, and find themselves in a finale in fauna lock, latch onto a libation, let's unlock this lock of lore. ["The Last Supper"] Mm. Mwa ha ha ha. Mwa ha ha ha. You know there's words you read first and don't know how they're pronounced?

Yeah. One of them for me was hearth. And I remember getting into World of Warcraft and there being a hearthstone, which is what you use to go home all the time. And I remember the first time I got into voice chat and I said hearth and everyone made fun of me. Loser, get out of here.

Let me tell you, being made fun of by a bunch of wow nerds, it's harsh. The epitome of embarrassment. Yeah. Very nice, Barbara. I think Barbara has to have inspiration for that. funded by a bunch of wow nerds. The epitome of embarrassment. Barbara has to have inspiration. Thanks for that. That's definitely inspiration. I do need one. Yay.

The other one I love is biopic and biopic. That one I feel like both is right, though, because I've heard both people argue on both sides of how it's pronounced. My cousin one time was reading a book and she was like, Oh look, ignore a moose. Oh, ignoramus. Took me a sec. Yeah. Yeah. Hello everyone. I'm Gustavo Cerullo, the Dungeon

Master of our future party. I'm going to hit our four players with an arrow. This week's role playing warmup question is what does your character want to be known for? Like like remembered for? I'm Chris Damaris and I play Bar, Barney, the human cleric. I, I, I, I don't, I just, I rather not be known at all. Oh, but if I was known for anything, I just like to be known by my name. Maybe Barney. Hi Barney. Why is it? Do you prefer Barney over Barnabas? It's it's a little easier. Mm-hmm. So it's more for other people's convenience Calling me Barney, man, it's stuck. You start calling you bus bus. Hey bussy I'm just gonna start calling you Arnabas

Like tophor be different I just want to hear Barney say girls. No, then it'd be different. Oh, aren't of us. Oh, cause you say be different, but take the be away. Be different. We do jokes here. This is fun. The last, the last steps of this campaign and we're still figuring it out. Hey there. It's God did it again. Boyne Gibson. I play the tiefling rogue level nine chip Haney. And I want to be remembered for just three small things, three little things and no particular order. I want to be known as the world's kindest assassin. All right. Kill him with a smile. That's what I always said. I want to be known as a, have you ever said that once this whole

campaign? Oh God, what a missed opportunity. What a shirt I could have had. Oh well. The other thing is I want to be known as the world's most loving husband. And then this last one makes me really emotional. How would it be known as having the best lawn in my neighborhood? Sorry. It's allergies. Right. You're allergic to grass. I just cut the grass as I always do every morning. You want people to walk by and be like, wow. Yeah. There's a dude in my neighborhood that cuts like every one or two days in his grass. It's the freshest grass. That can never be me. Why? Because it's so nice. You walk by and you're like, Oh yeah. My grandmother loved her's so nice. You walk by and you're like, oh.

My grandmother loved her lawn so much. Yeah. She cut it with scissors and a ruler. Oh my God. You said that before. That is, that's maddening. I hate that so much. It had to be perfect.

You wanted it like a certain height? Yes, and it had to be uniform. That makes me sad. Gus is a boiler. I also like, I imagine the reality situation. She cuts her grass and then measures it to make sure it's right with the ruler. I pictured you

going from section to section with the ruler. No way. Her lawn also had she lived on a hill. So it kind of sloped down. So it would be difficult to use a machine or a mower. And she knew she wouldn't hire anyone

to do it. She would do it herself with scissors in a ruler. If you don't mind my asking how long did she live to be there how did she early it's probably 83 84 somewhere on this something about like hardworking active people. Yeah like Barney. Yeah. Hello I'm Barbara Donkelman. Thank you guys for being here today. Tales from the Stinky Dragon Dragon And my voice, Elka Von Braa The half-elf vampire barbarian Also level 9, thank you so much Pew pew pew pew

For the gun to 10, I surround the even number But nooo Maybe after this episode If we survive You won't I think at first Elka didn't really have a whole lot of Like aspirations for how she wanted to be remembered or known for.

Because she just spent her whole life in the vampire, so she was kind of sheltered. But now I think Elka wants to be known for being brave. And for helping people. Because she's seen a lot of hardship in this last week. And it's really changed her. It's been hard on chip. The look on your face, Barbara, as you looked up to determine the timeline that should a week encapsulate it's that, but also that, that Duncan's been telling this story over the course of a night, but if it's like 50 episodes and it's not, it's

like an hour each. Yeah, these these been? Yeah, these are long. Well, you think of it this way. It's more like he's telling the story. 50 cocktails, you're right Chris. But you are the story. So it's like the story he's telling may be a summary of these events. Yeah.

You're not hearing the actual story he's telling. This is the basis for the story. Getting a little meta here. Anyways, they got lost to the VAM spire. Then just so-and-so died. It's like four hours truncated into a sentence. I feel like him, like that's when Gus says, find out next week is, is Duncan saying that. Yeah.

Oh, keeping people coming back. That's a, that's a good marketing. For a year. Yeah. That's actually a really good strategy to get people to come visit your establishment. It's like trivia night, but worse. Hi, my name is John Reisinger and I play Matty confuses who's an Eric Cochran ghost monk. Last time we're going to be, we make me miss you, man. We're still going to make John do that. And no matter what campaign we're doing, you know, I'm not necessarily trying to make my mark on this world in any sort of way,

but it's ironic, Duncan, Mr. Duncan, that you keep asking these questions and pouring these drinks because what I want to be known for is making the perfect latte. Oh, so away from baking into barista. But a good coffee drink goes perfect with almost every baking, every baking venture. Yes, coffee and croissants delicious. Yes. You have those every morning in the vampire. My favorite. I can survive off of bread and coffee only.

That's John speaking. That's me. Did Mattide break the fourth wall? Are we talking to Duncan now? That's who's doing the arrow the whole time. Are we talking to Duncan? I like to think Duncan is like the interviewer in those confession booths. They're just sitting right off camera and they're like, okay, well tell us what you think about this. It's like BTS talking head stuff for the story. It's like a documentarian who's been getting all this information from us beforehand and now he's telling the story. We're jumping around in timelines. I watch a lot of like

reality shows, including a lot of like what you do dating reality shows. And so I think I like love Island when there was there in those confessional business. Like, yeah, right. This new bird came in. She's right. I'm on the, the, the RuPaul drag race set. So it's bright pink behind me. I'm throwing shade at all of my ladies. What reality show are Barney and Matieden? What show? Aren't those, there's those ones where they just drop a person by themselves on an island.

I was in naked and afraid. Yeah. That's, that's Matiede. Cause that seems nice. You've got like a jungle background. Yeah. Is Barney on a, what was it? Welcome to your life for this American life or whatever. What's like the original reality show. This is your life. Yeah. Barney's on big, big, big, big brother. It's like grand, grand, grand. Barney would be on like a Jerry Springer because it'd be like, Oh, you are the father. He's dead. Deedermind determined. That's another one. I did that one way later. When I was, when I was way too old, Mike, it was like, what we're asking

or talking about. I thought about it. What reality show was Barney on? He's Deter mind to tell you. I don't watch a lot of reality. Maybe maybe Nathan for you. And maybe you guys just wait right here. Well, if you're sure they'll be right here when you get back. I feel like they're not going to wait here. Well, if you're sure they'll be right here when you get back like that All right, we go in dive dive dive

Yeah with a splash you submerged beneath the blue viscous liquid and feel the fluid envelop your body All of a sudden you hear the temple above you collapse with a crash Bones and stone debris drift into the lockwood, sinking past you out of sight. As darkness swallows your vision, something in the distance softly glows. The faint luminescence casts a shadow on the back of something right in front of you. It's the silhouette of Jaws.

The silhouetted Jaws lurch forward toward you all. Everyone make a dexterity saving throw. Oh, I thought it was like a Skellington. Well, I rolled a 19. 27. 15. Barney? Oh, sorry.

Barney has a 22. Thank you, Barbara. Everyone manages to quickly swim out of the way except for Chip and the jaws come down, envelop you and then just continue falling past you. What? A ghost? You realize now it's just a sculpture of Jaws. Oh. It's a sculpture depicting what you think might be the Great Maw

that just happened to be falling and went around you. That was funny, right, Gabe? Just avoid the water near me. It's awfully warm. Blblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblbl Yeah. Blblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblbl Blblblblblblblblblblblblblblblbl Are we able we able to like communicate with each other down here?

Not right now. If you have some way of like telepathically communicating, obviously, you know, that'll work. But anything that requires actual like speaking would be difficult. You can try, we can have fun with it. You know? Could Mateed speak?

Cause Mateed doesn't require oxygen. Yeah. So Mateed is making sound without oxygen. But it might be difficult for them to hear because the sound is traveling through a lockwood instead of air. So I need to yell. Bic. Yes, and it might still be muffled. So you all are in a smallest chamber made of what appears to be some kind of ancient stone. And there's something scattered on the floor.

And in the center of the chamber is a set of jaws. Is it a bunch of pennies on the floor? Do people throw them in for wishes? Maybe. Maybe it's emo pieces. No. Trying to tempt Matide. To the east is an unnatural opening in the stone wall and there seems to be somewhat of a faint glow coming from it.

Elga points to it and goes, Boooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo Yeah, it kind of played out for you. You can also grab onto Chip's tail if you need. While they're investigating that hole, I want to see what's scattered on the floor. Yeah, make an investigation check for me. Seventeen. Everyone seems to be focused on the opening to the east, but Matide, you look down at the floor and you see what appeared to be scattered bones on the floor. It appears that maybe they all originated from a box that fell from the temple above.

And judging by the size, these must have been huge creatures. And amongst all the bones on the ground there, you see a scroll. We're sure it's not Henry's bones, right? Giant bones, stop it. Oh, sorry. Stop trying to murder this child.

Well, the thing did collapse on that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But Box of Bones is interesting. I grab the scroll. Alright, yeah. You grab the scroll. And I read it without even thinking about it. Out loud, hoping it's an enchantment. It's in Latin. Make me an arcana check.

15. You recognize it as a scroll of air bubble. Oh, convenient. So like Sonic the Hedgehog water level air bubble? Kind of. This is a little smaller though. It allows you to create a spectral globe around the head of a willing creature you can see within range and the globe is filled with fresh air. Just one?

Yes. Yeah, I'm gonna hold on to this. We're all fine. We got an hour of being under the water. Yeah. Do you? Oh no, we don't! We have an hour of being under the water. Yeah, do you? Oh, no, we don't In the mumbags Not being affected by the lockwad Oh shoot, I forgot yeah

I forgot too cause I don't breathe and I don't care I'm good If we make that little air bubble could we like pass it around to each other? I imagine since it's a scroll of enchantment It's a one-time spell use that goes on to a person On one person Yeah, but maybe if you're getting close, you're like stick your nose up to it and kind of like siphon off some of the air I don't know you tell me guys

Who's got the best breath of the group? Yeah, we'll play with it well if you want to try it we can try it why not okay Well, should we maybe swim through this hole first and then yeah yeah cuz D&D rules you have breath for how long you can hold your breath for a number of minutes equal to one plus your Constitution modifier so whatever Constitution modifier is add one to that and that's how many minutes you can hold your breath how many sound off for three minutes three minutes wait what What's your constitution modifier? It's three. So his is four. So his is four, four, and three. And what's yours? Infinite. Oh right, cuz you're...

Yeah. Okay cool. So I'm assuming it's been five seconds. Move quick! Move quick! Move quick! Elga swims towards the light. Same. You see an unnatural hole that seems to have been carved in this eastern wall, and it's big enough for, you know, everyone in your party to squeeze through. And beyond that opening is a faint glow that appears to be just out of view. Before going in, could we quickly just like glance around and see if there's any other openings or anything else on the ground?

Worse noting. I'll give, I'll leave it up to you. Investigation or perception check? Perception. I'll give I'll leave it up to you investigation or perception check I did another investigation check 18. Okay, he was asking me 24. I know I'm sorry. I was joining into This role 24 you don't see anything else other than this box Oh, I should say all the bones that appear to have fallen out of the box that fell into here from above Does the box have words on it?

No, okay, and I don't recognize what the bones are other than they were big creature make a history check It is dragons. That was two ones Can I glance back at those bones to see what they- Sure, make a history check. It's like in the Flintstones when Fred would get the giant rack of ribs that would tilt his car over. Bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum I'll probably figure out eventually. Sure, who cares? Bones through the hole! Yeah, uh, Elgot swims through the hole. who cares bones through the hole. Yeah, I'll go swim through the hole I Swim to the hole. Oh, I want to do that thing that gives me advantage on initiative. I'm calling it now

Do you need to speak to cast that I don't think so. No, let me check. I like that The initial read knee-jerk reaction is no wait. Hold on. I actually I actually have no idea You know who also does that? My children. Well, at least I owned it. It just says that. I can just do it. No, but what's the component? No, literally the description says just do it. Just do it.

As an action, you give one creature an advantage on the initiative. It's a vigilant blessing. Yeah, it says you give one creature, you touch. Alright, touch myself. When I think about it... It's a vigilant blessing. It says you give one creature you touch. Alright, touch myself. When I think of my own. It's inappropriate. Let's chip you on it. I think you're good at having it. You bless yourself.

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in-store and online. You all enter a large L-shaped chamber. The walls, floor and ceiling are slimy and stained from the blue lockwood. Bubbling throughout the chamber are a handful of fissures discharging some kind of green gas that's floating up And this is still under water, right? Yes, and as far as like L shaped are you saying like if we looked up then it would 90 degree or is it like this?

Is there a corner? Yeah, like backwards. Oh, so it's a backwards out. You're at the like bottom left, okay So there's a corner and there's a bunch of fissures spewing out green gas. Okay, so we just swim up Let's just swim up the length of the well I don't know if it's is it it's L shaped tall ways or L shaped like a room. That's L shaped both It's like imagine that that Continues up and then tapers down. Okay at the ceiling. Okay, so it's like a chimney at the ceiling. Okay. So it's like a chimney.

Like we got to swim up a chimney. You're looking at a top down view there, Barbara. And then it just kind of tapers and gets, you know, forms to a ceiling, almost like a cave at the top. Okay, okay. I swim around the fissures, avoiding the gas. Everyone make me, before you start swimming with tea, do me a favor, everyone make me a perception check.

19. 14. I have advantage on this. That is a 14 and a, we'll make me a perception check. 19. 14. I have advantage on this. That is a 14 and a... Let's just go with a 14. 11. And Matilde had a 19, right? Correct.

You're the only one who notices this. As you enter this room, you catch sight of a disfigured looking Hugo at the northeast portion of this room. Oh. It looks like most of his skin is burned off. His lips are missing, so his fangs are just perpetually visible,

and they seem to be dripping with some kind of green liquid. I wonder how he talks with his lips. I'm really like Nosferatu look. Outstretched from his back are two bony wings. Does he look dead? No, his back is to where you all entered from. He's looking away, doing something.

Because he came down into the Lockwood without the croissant. Mm-hmm. So I imagine he's not, well he's probably feeling the effects of this. Well yeah he got disfigured in that fight with Eddie and now he's even more disfigured than he was before. That's how Eddie got disfigured in the first place right? Yeah by going in the Lockwood. Losing his skin.

Lockwood apparently takes on people's skin. And so, sorry, what else is in here? Why didn't you take chip skin when he fell in? There's a green gas. And what else is there in here? Fissures. Yeah, fissures that are discharging the green gas. Fissures are like cracks in the floor.

Gotcha. Like, so they're spewing. And that's from the wall or the floor? All over, both. Okay. How far from Hugo are we? The room's a fairly decent size and you're on the other side from it. You have to kind of go straight and then hook a left

since the room is L-shaped to get all the way up there. As the Matide flies, There you go. it's probably, let's say like 60 feet away. 60 feet. So should we sneak up on him? Like maybe get a little grapple on him? I have an ice arrow.

I don't know if I could freeze the water around him. Do you have any radiant damage stuff? Anybody here? I do. He is likely vulnerable to radiant damage. I was thinking we could like, if we could just sneak up on him and get a good grab on him, then we could get some answers.

But also like, we're underwater. We're underwater, yeah. We're not gonna, I don't know if we could chat with him and what is he busy with again is back his turn back his turn What is he doing? You can't really see He's probably playing Gameboy Underwater Gameboy Singing the theme song has a game boy on blaine's mind their way to like swim above him where we can look and see what he's doing You can try I don't think I bark. I'll do it. I'll do it Game boy on blaines mind their way to like swim above him where we can look and see what he's doing

You can try I don't think I bark. I'll do it. I'll do it. Okay, it is very graceful. Yeah, I feel like they would like Yeah, nothing great more graceful like a bird Have you ever seen a know if I called penguins. Penguins or birds? What? Well, graceful is what I was gonna say. In the water? In the water, yeah.

I guess on land they're very graceful. Flamingo? Heard of one? Like a flamingo, I charged through the water stealthily. No, no, no, he said flamingo, you're flamingo dancing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Get out. It's impossible to take a direct straight path to him Just because of all the fissures that are releasing gas unless you want to swim through the the gas that comes through. Oh

could I use my Incorporal movement and go like translucent or whatever you want to call it Stuff stuff passes through me. What's the word? I'm looking for? whatever you want to call it. Stuff passes through me. What's the word I'm looking for? Isn't it incorporeal? Yeah, it's incorporeal. I'll go incorporeal.

And then could I go like directly at him that way? Where is that? I want to read it real fast. That's probably a good thing to check me on. She says just do it. Incorporal movement. Once for short rest, you can use your bonus action to move through other creatures and objects

for up to one minute with concentration. You take one D10 force damage if you end your turn inside an object. So it's not necessarily like a magic effect or anything, right, it's just something you can do. Yeah, cause I'm a ghost. Okay, make a stealth check for me then, since you're being a little sneaky here.

That's a nat 20 plus nine, 29. Yes, so stealthy. That's finale rolls that we need. Matee doesn't even move the Lockwood at all. Right, because I'm in Corporeal. Yeah, you begin swimming through the Lockwood, and luckily for you, with your incorporeal movement, you're able to avoid some of this green gas

that's bubbling up from these fissures, and you get to a point where you are above Hugo, looking down. Dun-un. Yeah, what Hugo looking down. Dun-un. Yeah, what do I see? Dun-un. Yeah. Matide is making that sound.

It's all P-O-V-E-P-E-E-D. Matide. Matide. Matide, matide, matide, matide, matide. You can see he's pushing on something on the wall. And then all of a sudden, the wall opens up, and he seemingly falls through. He falls through it?

Yeah. Falls through? Like, doesn through. He falls through it? Yeah. Falls through. Like, doesn't go through, falls through? Yeah, like it opens up and kind of like Lockwood escapes with him, it sucks him out, and then the wall reseals. Oh. Game Boy.

I mean, he probably knows something. He probably knows something. He probably knows something we don't, right? Like, this is a way he should be, he knows to be going. Didn't somebody in the old Game Boy like ads, like say Game Boy, like didn't they just like flirt it like that? Game Boy, Sega.

That was like a Sega thing. That was Sega. Anyways, then I'd like to investigate where he was pushing against the wall. Yeah, you swim down there and you see what appears to be like a slimy, narrow gate that looks like an aperture and right now it's closed It doesn't appear to have a handle or a lock or anything on it. Are we in a toilet? This could be you just flushed himself. Yeah, is that a p-trap that we're on?

Do we do we want to quickly see if there's any other openings or anything like because that probably is the only way to get out Of this chamber. Yeah, you guys should probably make your way to me. Yeah What's the green liquid? Elga very dexterily goes over Dexterously dexterily She's over to my team. She's verily dexterily. She's verily. Oh there's a lemon! She doesn't know it! She swims over to my team. And avoiding the green stuff.

Can Barney do it...whatever the opposite of dexterily is? Clumsily. Sure. I just imagine arms waving like... Uh, yeah Chip moves over there. And he uses his tail like a fin. He's actually quite good. Oh. Yeah, so you all are there as well.

And you see the same thing Matide saw, this slimy narrow gate that is currently closed. And he was pushing against a wall? Yeah, he was trying to manipulate it somehow. I do that. Make me an athletics check. Unless this was a trap. And he accidentally triggered a trap and he accidentally triggered trap

and got sucked out and let's go for it 21 nice the aperture opens up for just a brief moment and Suck you and all of your friends out. I did it everybody slide He's kind of so disappointed as you pass through the gate it closes behind you and you immediately spill onto the floor of a long Fairly narrow cavern absent of lockwood Can I do an athletics check to see if I land in the superhero pose do acrobatics? Okay, all right here. We go. I just want to do one more time

21 They like a ninja you land grace, doing the superhero pose. You guys impressed. Elga's still trying to catch her breath. You land on a floor made of scattered scarlet stones, interwoven with a gray slime that drips from the ceiling. Is you going here? Make an investigation check.

Marco. You go. That's a nine plus one, 10. You don't see him at the moment, no. Okay. So there's a gray slime on the floor. Coming from the ceiling. And something about crimson tiles.

Scattered stones. Yeah, scattered scarlet stones. Surely there's footprints, because he was wet and he would be carrying lockwood with him. Yep, there's also all the slime on the floor as well. So it's not like it's a totally dry room You're in can chip use like his investigation. You can make like if you're looking for tracks, that's survival You make a survival check. Okay, can I do that too?

Yeah, I have advantage on this at 10 and a 3. I'll just gonna look as well 11 Okay, I'll wait for Elga's check as well 20 all three of you also make me dexterity check. 14, 21. Six. So, um. That's with advantage. Ouch. I rolled the same thing twice.

Barney and Chip, you're unable to find any tracks, but it's probably because you're preoccupied trying to avoid this slime from falling on you as it's dripping from the ceiling. Eww. Elga, you're so focused on finding tracks that you are able to uncover them. You do see some tracks that may have been left by Hugo, but as you're looking down at the tracks, a large glob of gray slime falls and envelops you.

Oh my glurb. What does it do to me? It's like the effects of a slow spell. It's just slowing you down now. You're just like all soggy and waterlogged But I try to remove it from my body my person and you just take some time to Remove it. Is there any specific you just like kind of try to brush it off Yeah, just the thing like, you know when you like finish showering you want to get some of the excess water off of you Just like

While you're doing that I say And then she also shakes like a little puppy Quick trust fall and I fall into you Why cuz she's there the slow spell so she probably is gonna not be able to catch me because it'd be funny because she's gonna React fast. I don't know Good just not try to catch chip. Yeah, yeah points of damage just falls to the ground and takes Two points of bludgeoning damage. Chip! I didn't...

didn't... notice. I know you're clean! I saw you wipe it off! After being distracted by Chip's trust fall, your eyes continue following the tracks, Elga, and you do see Hugo to the north, who turns around, notices you all, and begins moving very quickly for what appears to be an exit to the north.

Could Elga pick up a glob of that slime and throw it at him? It's pretty far. You can try, but it's gonna be a good bit of distance, but I mean, let's try it. Why not? Do an unarmed strike at disadvantage because it's so far. Okay. How far away is it? 60, 65 feet, something like that. Think about all your days playing for the VAMs by our football team This is the fourth quarter. You got to make that Hail Mary throw. Here we go. My disadvantage was 15. Okay

Yeah, I'll say you are actually able to hurl it far enough and it hits him He looks at it kind of like disgustingly and then like you did he kind of shakes himself and it all flies off With ease and he continues running to the northern exit That's so cool that was a good throw it was a good throw I chase yeah Matide you give chase as well yeah everyone gives chase and you see you go disappear through a narrow opening that seems to lead to a dark chamber to the north taking us exactly where we need to go we don't even have to figure it out ourselves and one more time everyone Opening that seems to lead to a dark chamber to the north

And one more time everyone make me a dexterity check 22 16 Barney and Matide you're able to get to the northern exit without issue But chip and Elga are so focused on running there again not paying attention that gray slime and it falls on them That's gonna take them just a little longer to catch up. Oh, we're in a race guys for what I don't know Is there anything special Chip or Elga want to do to try to get the slime off? No, Elga does the thing again where she shakes herself like a little puppy. Just what? I'll use my tail as like a windshield wiper I'm gonna cast bless bless up Barney on our on us. Let's dismiss

Which does oh Bless for one minute Up to three creatures of your choice within range Whenever they make an attack roll or saving throw before spell ends Target can roll a d4 and add the number roll to the attack roller saving throw. I assume you pick your three party members Yeah, okay, and that lasts for one minute. Yeah, so if we're doing like a little spells things like that Can I have had my Poisoners path thing prepped when we took the last short rest? I always forget to do it It's okay. Okay. What does that do to us?

Whenever you make an attack roll or a saving throw, you get a D4 to add to the end. And just once? No, for a minute. Oh, nice. While we're on the chase. Hey! Hey!

I'm gonna take a bite of a brownie. Ooh! Since we're all just doing little buffs. Some gastric fortitude? Bard brownie gives me bardic inspiration. I get three charges of it. I don't remember where I got this Maybe the

Bartholomew Finn Scourge, skeg, crag Dregs? Dregs You got there I think that's where I got it. Anyways, I take a bite of a brownie. It's yummy. Chip has his mouth open and he's pointing at it Ah

Ah He wants a knuckle sandwich I let Chip take a bite of the brownie. I don't have to take the effect. He takes a bite of the brownie! I shove it in! Eat the brownie! Eat the brownie, Chip! This is the most violent I've seen Matine.

It's like in They Live when Rowdy Rowdy Piper's trying to get the sunglasses on Keith David. I love that movie. Alright, so is everyone ready to proceed? You enter a dark grotto with white columns built into the walls. At the far northern end of the room you see a disfigured figure facing away from you hunched over, ranting, I've come too far to be stopped here at the dead end.

Come now, I've done my part. You all feel the scarlet floor tremble beneath your feet and the monstrosity turns to face you with a lipless fanged grimace. No, you four can't stop me! Not now! Unless...perhaps you too wish to know the secret of Grotesh? Yes! Chip Haney.

Hugo Von Brath! You have suffered a great loss in this world. Yeah. Perhaps the greatest of all. Love was snatched from you. It's no mystery that you achingly long for your Carol. To hold her again, to feel her warmth, to see her smile beaming back at you.

Go on. Barney Farney, cheated of your best years, robbed of your memories, deprived of your precious family. Surely you're feeling your age way upon you, like that of plate armor that you should have hung up years ago? Can I respond? Matide confissus,

your carefree nonchalance is something to aspire to. Surely, you of all people lack nothing in this world. Orpachance, have you drifted through this immortal coil for so long that you have steadily been stripped of that which drives us all? Purpose. Oh, Elga. My sweet little Elga. Here you go. You have made your father proud, my dear.

Truly a vampires vampire among our people. I see it in your eyes, my child. The same thirst that lurks in my own gaze. Surely you are fatigued and parched of tiptoeing through a world that maligns you when they should all be bowing before you. And a crimson glint shimmers in Hugo's vain eyes. I can change all of your worlds. All you have to do is yield. Everyone make a Charisma saving throw. Stalling. And don't forget we have the Bless. Your worlds, all you have to do is yield.

Everyone make a charisma saving throw. Stalling. And don't forget, we have the bless. Yeah, you'll have. Bless up, yo. Ooh. And 20. That was 12 on me.

23. I would be an 11. 21. Oh, some very charismatic party members here. I got the raise, you know. I have faced you before and I can do it again You don't have much of a face left The haggard Hugo spreads his bony wings and charges straight for you with your fangs everyone roll initiative

I wanted to eat. I want to eat that Bell 20 24 21 I also rolled a 20. Not worth it now. Chip, what is your dexterity? 15. Okay, so you go before me. Oh, okay. So Matide was 24. Barney was 21. Chip and Elga were both 20, but Chip goes first.

Yes. Wow. I'm going last in a shift with a 20. That's crazy. Yeah. Well, I got good in a ship modifiers now at this point. I'm going to roll for Hugo here. Roll a one.

Go on dork Alright mateed Europe first is mateed Barney chip Elga Hugo he's charging at us. Yeah Well, we've twins like a Bilbo in fellowship Sure I'll charge at him come at me bro. Got him. Yeah, I'm going to Expecting it. It's like when a bear charges you and you make yourself all big. It's like whoa Oh, hey, chill. What are we? What are we doing here? Hey? Oh, yeah, I'm gonna use the spear of the superior Baker No I'm gonna use the spear of the superior Baker No Listen I would have used that except that you point out. I can't do stunning strikes with that correct

So I'm not gonna be using that as much anymore. So that's on you Yeah, I'm just gonna go in for a two-handed strike and I'm gonna do that by rolling a 30. Let me check Oh, yeah that hits Okay, 1d8 plus 7 that's a 6 plus 7 13 and piercing damage right here sing Damage and I'm gonna make it a stunning strike What does the say 75? I don't think so. Yeah looking at I'm looking make it a stunning strike. What is the save? 75. I don't think so. Yeah.

I'm looking at my sheet right now. Constitution saving throw of 16. Ooh, hoo, hoo. Okay, my Constitution's plus three, so I need a 13 or better. Is he at disadvantage because he has no lips? Is that where you hold all your Constitution? I mean, if you're speaking a spell, it might affect your ability to have proper speech patterns.

I'm so sorry I'm getting hung up on the lipless detail, but it's just, you know, I mean, come on. That is so unsettling to think about. He's talking like this. Well, he rolled a 12 plus three, which is 15, which is a failure. However, he uses his legendary resistance to, instead of fail, to succeed on that saving probe.

Well, I use Flurry of Blows to do another two unarmed strikes, which can be stunning strikes as well. I hate you. Yeah, well, you shouldn't give everybody legendary resistance, so that's how the croissant crumbles. That is 16 plus 9, 25. That hits. 9.

9, and is that slashing? Slashing, but it's considered magical. Okay. And then another starting strike. 17. Woo! God! That's a 13 plus 9, 21. To hit?

Yeah, that hits. Doing seven magical slashing. And then give me one more con saving throw. All right. This is plus three, 19. Okay, that's fine. Stop celebrating over there. This is bad, Gus.

I mean, it's all perspective. From my perspective, the Jedi are evil. It's good. from my perspective the Jedi Revolver My movement I wanted since in order to do these strikes I have to be up on him on a melee distance Okay, so I'm right next to him then yes nice wings might have feathers He takes ego damage Hugo nasty wings my self-esteem yeah don't make traffic say oh my self-esteem is that it for you yeah we done Barney you're up I'm a cast flame strike flame strike flame strike that's new a vertical column divine

fire roars down from the heavens in a location you specify. Each creature in a 10 foot radius, 40 foot high cylinder, centered on a point within range, must make a dexterity saving throw. The creature takes 46 fire damage and 46 radiant damage on a failed save, or half as much damage on a successful one. Keep in mind, Matide's like up on Hugo, so maybe aim past him. Yeah, I just aim it. Yeah, I'll say it's possible to aim it in a way

that only encompasses Hugo and does not engulf Matide. So it's a dexterity saving throw. What's the save DC on it? Dex 18. Dex 18, all right. Best of luck, Hugo. My Dex is plus three, so I need a 15 or better. You're not going to make that.

He's going to do it now. Three. Oh, sorry. Take it back. Take it back. The 4d6, that's 16. 16 fire. 21 radiant.

That's a good roll, Chris. Good boy. Yeah. The holy fire seems to strike down from above, and it envelops Hugo, who begins screaming in pain. How far away is he right now from me? You didn't move up yet, so he's at the very edge of the range of your spell, which is about 60 feet. I move up within five feet.

Move up to Hugo? Do you have 55 feet of move? Oh, no, I don't Yeah, I didn't realize he was 60 feet away even though I just I was reading my spell as my bonus action. I'll move forward my 30 feet towards him Okay, and then I'm going to telekinetic shove... mmm... me five feet further. Ah! You telekinetic shove yourself?

Yeah. So you're 25 feet away from him. Aw, Barney hit the nose. Hahaha. Hahaha. Well, hello, stinkers. We want to tell you that this episode is sponsored by Hero Forge. Hero Forge allows us to use our Forge characters to make actual little itty bitty ones we can hold in our hand.

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trial period at Shopify.com slash dragon. That's all lowercase. Go to Shopify.com slash dragon. That's all lowercase. Go to Shopify.com slash dragon now to grow your business no matter what stage you're in Shopify.com slash dragon. Now at Joe Fresh, get 20% off children's active wear only until Wednesday, August 14th. Shop smart with one cart and check everything off your back to school list all in one place. Now that's some smart shopping conditions apply. See in store or Joeresh.com for details. There's a little, on the walker, like two little jets pop out. Is that it for you? Yeah. Are we allowed to know how that damaged Hugo? Because I imagine he's vulnerable to Radiant.

Yes, you know that as a vampire yourself that radiant bad for vampires Mmm from a metagame perspective. It's considered a vulnerability That was Barney's turn. So we got chip and then after chip Elga. Okay, really quick How far away is he again for me about 60 feet 60 feet? Is that all of us? Yeah, except not my T who's up in melee range and now Barney is 25 feet away. I'm gonna use Yeah, except not my T who's up in melee range and now Barney is 25 feet away. I'm gonna use My movement to get up as close as I can to Hugo so that would be 40 feet So you get within 20 feet of him and then I want to take Cutting action to dash the remainder of that distance

So use your bonus action to continue to close the distance and keep in mind This is 60 feet this entire 60 feet chip is screaming charging he's got his crossbow of coolness out and he's prepped the bitter cold bayonet so he's charging at him with a bayonet going like the scene in Monty Python yeah charging scene precise goes on forever and then I'm going to yes use my crossbow of coolness because he hasn't taken an action that is going to be an Assassinate thing you have advantage on attack rolls against any creature that hasn't taken turn in combat yet And any hit you scored against the creature that is surprised as a critical hit don't think he's surprised if you're screaming at him though he's not surprised but

19 and a 16 and then I'm gonna to roll the D four for bliss. So technically it's a 21 you hit. Okay. So I'm going to do the damage with that attack. So that's nine and nine points of cold damage. Cause it was from the across the coast. So in addition to that, I also do the five D six damage because of sneak attack. It wasn't very sneaky, but because Matita is within five feet, I get that extra 5d6. Yep.

And that is, I don't see a lot of high numbers there, 18 kind of damage. This is sneak die, it's just additional. I think this would be considered some kind of piercing damage, most likely. Yes, and then I don't know if I can stack this. I'll just ask, you know, remember when I said that I wanted to have that poison kit yeah okay I'd like to use that okay Regis my life is that a that's not like a bonus action or

anything right you just use it it says you gain expertise with the poisonous kit during a short rest you can create a one single use injury touch ingested or inhaled poison on effect the target must make a constitution saving throw DC 10 plus your proficiency bonus or take 2d 6 plus 4 damage yes damage so then metagame wise it would be that you had applied it to the dagger the dagger yeah yeah yeah because I'm gonna make it a touch thing well this would be injury I think because it's not like you're touching them totally what I said an injury poison anyways so you need to make a DC 10 plus your proficiency bonus. I guess it's a 414 roll 14 14

Constitution saving roll 14 roll like a one or so Three I need an 11 or better 19 it was an 8 and then it switched at the last second 19 22 successful save Okay, so then do you take any of that or do you take? No, it doesn't say that it's just just, uh, it shrugs it off. That's okay. And then... And then...

Yes, and? You have to be done at that point. I think I might be done at that point. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, Because it's the crossbow of coolness and I charged him with the bitter cold bayonet on a hit you can expend a charge No action and the target must make a DC 15 Constitution saving throw or become frozen see Petra Extern so roll for a try to stop you. Yeah, okay. What was the DC on it again? DC 15 Stop really high numbers Constitution is plus three. I need a 12 or better. This is for your own good Gus That's a 13. So that's a failure they go hey so you're frozen you look really warm from the fire now start singing an adina menzel song so what effects does that have on

you see from where the bayonet pierced Hugo's side seems like icy tendrils start spreading across his skin slowing his movement eventually freezing him solid in place. Well, gang, we did it. We beat the final boss. Which you're able to do because I burned through his legendary resistance. You're welcome.

Thank you. Okay, good chi- Good high fives all around, team. Is that it for you? Well, because I have 20 feet of remaining movement and he's frozen, so I can't imagine he can take a takut of opportunity. So I'll

use that to move away from him. Okay you move 20 feet away and that's it for your turn right? Yeah but I moonwalk away. I stab him and then I go hee hee hee. Elga that means it's your turn. I would like to rage. Despite all her rage still just a bad indication. Form of?

Do I have to decide right now? I do have to decide right now. Form of the beast with bite. Bite! I'm gonna take bite. Do you lose your lips? No. They actually get bigger. I just got the giant teeth. Then I want to move up 40 feet. You know when a child for Halloween puts his like teeth in? Yeah. That's me right now. That's so gross. You take them out. Ugh. I hate it. And's so gross. Are you taking about oh, I hate it And it never fit they always hurt. Yeah, I'm sorry. I'll go 40 feet. All right on my whole walking speed and then I'm going to throw my axe of the scarab

Towards Hugo. Okay, so to hit there is a 25 that hits. Okay doing Dun dun dun. Oh my god. Uh... Pfft. Eight. Plus I guess three, because it's slashing and I'm raging. So I don't know if you get your rage bonus on ranged stuff. Is it melee? It might be melee.

Let me double check. It might, I might be wrong. Let me just double check that real fast. This is a, this attack type is melee here. I'm gonna say no, because when you throw it, that is range, because it does have a range on it. It's not just a bit within melee.

Okay. So eight, you still do eight. All right, well I'll do it again. Okay. To hit, that is a 29. Okay, yeah, that hits. Doing, there we go, that's a little better.

13 points of slashing damage. You throw the Axe of the Scarab, it hits Hugo, chips off a little piece of his shoulder for 8 points of damage. Then you resummon the Axe of the Scarab back to your hand and throw it again. It hits him so hard, it unfreezes him, crying out in agony, as his deformed damage frame falls to the ground. You... You must be feeling pretty good about yourselves right now, I suppose.

Yeah, pretty much. Like heroes at the end of a long adventure. Well done. Oh, we're climbing now. Why are we climbing? But we've been here before. What? All five of us.

And I fell to my death then, just as well. But this time, this time is different. I know the part I play. Do you? And then rather abruptly, Hugo falls to the floor unmoving, his red eyes fixed eternally on the four of you.

You lied to me for my whole life and I'll never forgive you, but worst of all, you're just an evil person and I don't like you. And I will never love you. And then she spits onto his face. I kick him. Barney goes up and lowers his head. Oh, okay. Elga runs over to Barney and embraces him. Barney goes up and lowers his head. Oh, okay. Elga runs over to Barney and embraces him.

Aww. Sweet. I join Matide in the kicking while he's down. You go for the head, I'll go for the butt. Okay. Well, he said something about that he was playing a part. Do you think this was all a trap? Yes. Okay.

Thank you, Petit. We're confirming. I do not think that this adventure is quite over. We still have to uncover the mystery of this whole Ma situation and what he was after all along. There it is. There it is. There it is.

There it is. There it is. There it is. There it is. There it is. There it is. There it is. There it is. There it is. There it is. The ground quakes many of you once more. But this time the entire grotto begins to tremor and fracture. The surrounding white columns slowly start to split open vertically, and the floor lifts and undulates wildly,

throwing the foreview toward the pillars. As you slide along the floor, you quickly realize the columns are pointed and jagged on the ends like giant white spikes. Everyone make dexterity saving throws. 11. 12 for Elegan. 24.

I rolled a 9, but I have a Evasion when you're subjected to the effect that allows you to make a Dex saving throw. You'll take half damage, you instead take no damage. You just succeed. Alright so everyone failed except for Matide. So you're all going to take a little bit of Piercing damage. Chip, you take half of this. 5 points of damage.

Chip, you take 2. You pass through points of damage. Chip, you take two. You pass through the spikes and suddenly you're free falling as if from a towering cliffside. Torrential wind is zipping past you. Your body's flailing wildly downward. You have but seconds to save yourself from plummeting to your deaths. I turn into a bat.

I go, bat! Ah! I'll grab Chip. Wee! It's dark, I'll turn and I'll float. Wah! Steps of Night. That all sounds pretty good.

Just for funsies, Matide, just make a Strength check just to make sure you're able to grab and hold onto Chip. I rolled a Nat 20. 24. Wee! You're able to swoop over and...

It's actually kind of sad I rolled a Nat 20 on that one. Hahaha! You just missed me entirely. I'll help you don't worry, Chip! Grab my little wings! Hahaha! No! Matisse's got my shoulders, but then Elga has my tail.

Like, just like daintily holding it. In her mouth. Yeah. So you all are able to interrupt the fall and lightly land on the ground below. After the dust finally settles, you all gather your bearings and survey your surroundings. It's dark. Maybe nighttime? There's no stars or moons in the sky, but a faint red glow lingers just past a mountain.

You all struggle to make sense of what you see, but your faculties are failing you. The blackened ground feels parched, far beyond desert sands ever should be. The air feels stale and eerily silent. The ground shifts, vibrating under you. As you look around, you instantly find the cause. The mountains are moving. As the mountains shift, you also realize the source of red light. It's a half sun.

The faint vermilion blaze casts a shadow across the mountain, or what should be a mountain. You see the rows of white spikes high up in the sky. They open wide, revealing themselves to be one massive maw An oddly familiar voice bellows both inside your minds and all around you Welcome, welcome, all I do love visitors Elephantine tentacles with claws emerge from the sides of the mountainous monster And rush straight for you Everyone roll initiative

Oh good lord, The straight ma. Wait, Hugo the ma? No, I think Hugo was just serving the ma and like probably. I thought the ma was like a benevolent like deity. But it seems to recognize us. You said a familiar voice. Can you elaborate? What's the voice? Because we can't hear it now.

Familiar, but not in a way you feel like you can play. So you can identify. All right, everyone roll initiative. 10. 11. Eight. Yeah, you guys are really bad at counting down. 12.

12, 11, 10, eight. Much lower than our first fight. Yeah, that was really bad. Let me roll for the mountain. All right guys, now we gotta fight a mountain. 17. Did this thing say it was the mong? It right guys, now we gotta fight a mountain. 17. Did this thing say it was the mall? It didn't, but we're assuming.

It says, how you familiar? So I go first. The mountain? Yeah, the way it should be. Can I do like a right click info on this mountain? Yeah, it's like three skulls. Is that difficult? Yeah.

We're zero skulls. That means that we can't tell what level it is because it's so high. Goal. You all feel a torrential wind buffeting you from behind as if pushing you closer to the mountain. Everyone make a a

let's call it a dexterity saving throw. 27. 21. 14 with evasion. If I take damage, it'll be half. I rolled a one Barney's just so overwhelmed by seeing a talking mountain that he's

So Elga and Matide you're able to stand your ground But chip and Barney the winds suck you in and pull you even closer to the mountain It's the last one I wanted because you know melee attacks pull you even closer to the mountain. And so that's what I wanted, because you know, melee attacks. Is this like the mountain is in like the Game of Thrones mountain where it's just a big dude? Well, it's just like a it's it's huge, right?

It's just like a mountainous amalgamation of a monster. It's got a massive maw, an assortment of eyes, ten giant tentacles, an extensive streak of red across its belly and neck. Streak of red on the belly and neck? Yeah, this might be the weak point, so aim for those. They're not glowing though. Oh, oh, oh. And it's got a big T on its chest.

It's a superhero. Ooh. Tentacles. Okay, so it pulled Chip and Barney closer. I'm gonna roll a die to see what attacks. One and two Barney, three and four Chip. One, that's Barney. Oh, thank God.

That makes sense, he rolled a one. One on one. One of the giant tentacles lashes out at you, Barney, three and four chip. One, that's Barney. Oh, thank God. That makes sense, he rolled a one. One on one. One of the giant tentacle's lashes out at you, Barney. Okay. Hitting. Let's see some real damage here, Gus, come on. I need to live. I'm trying to support Gus.

Hitting AC 18. That does not hit? That does not hit. Oh, you have like a 20 or something, right? All right, I'm gonna make another attack. One or two Barney, three or four chip. Look at me! Two! It's Barney again.

I'm sitting there on my knees praying, don't let me hit the old man! Take him instead! Lashes out hitting AC 35. That one hits. Shockingly. Doing 40 points of slashing damage. 40? Yeah. That's a lot. Um, are we high enough level for this? We're level 9. This must be the level 20 boss fight. And you are now grappled.

It has you in its grip in one of its tentacleaws. A third tentacleal lashes out at Chip. Got it. Oh, yeah. All right. Hitting AC 23. Tenta claw lashes out at chip Hitting AC 23 Roll it again because I have super groovy cape that is called the cloak of displacement Oh, yeah, so it attacks are at disadvantage against you, right? Correct. I just want to point out that he rolled a 35 Attacking Barney. It's like it's an item that automatically does it doesn't it yeah I'm just saying it yeah okay yeah yeah yeah lucky he's he's using an item

that stays yeah so that's your concern barb I would be there with you 27 in a what 23 okay yeah okay yeah I need you to tell me. Please, I need this. Gus needs the validation of hurting you. Doing... 42 points of slashing damage. Hahahaha! And you are now grappled as well.

I have uncanny dodge. When an attacker that you can see hits you with an attack, you can use your reaction to have the attack's damage against you. Okay, so 21. Oh wait, no, no, but you had to have had, you had to have had dodge already. As a reaction? Oh, it's as a reaction?

Yeah. Oh, nevermind. You don't have patient defense, which is that. That's exactly what I'm thinking of. All right, so 21 points of damage. And spoiler, Gus, I will be using that. 21 damage. So we all know what my bonus action is already. You're calling it and you're grappled. And I'm grappled.

Yeah, I grapple back. I hold on. I got you where I want you! It's just like judo. You just gotta use its weight against it and toss it onto the ground. Exactly. He's just this speck fighting him out. Speaking of a speck, him out. Ha ha ha! Speaking of a speck, it's your turn, Chip. Okay. Okay, let me see. A grapple creature's speed becomes zero

and it can't be that far away. Yeah, you have to just... You can do everything, you just can't move. Then I... And you can also, if you want, try to escape it. Yeah. No! Okay.

Because you're grappling it yeah I'm gonna use my crossbow of coolness once again okay I mean if you want to run away I'll go I like decipher if this is the thing we actually could potentially be fighting or like if it's something that's the lost cause don't worry gang. I'll soften them up for you and Matina Nelga. All right guys So many is the crossbow of coolness Use my inspiration die that's where I get a 23 Yeah so that's a eight points of cold damage and then I also want to use a charge for

Range drive upon firing a crossbow bolt at an enemy hit or miss as a bonus action You can expend a charge to cause the bolt to explode with icy charge shards Each creature within 10 feet of the target must make a DC 15 dexterity saving throw or take 46 cold damage. Okay. So there. So it's gonna affect it, you, and Barney. Well, where are you- yeah, what are you shooting? Oh, I mean- All creatures within 10 feet of it?

Yeah, but I'm not sh- like, can I aim for like a different part of it that's not- I think it says all creatures within 10 feet of it. Well, I, you know, I shot a bolt at it. It's a big thing. I don't have to aim it. Also, is each tentacle a different creature? No. Oh. That's a good attempt.

Okay, but if a creature, let's say it's 100 feet big, right? And I just shoot at it, like, to the far left, and we're over to the right. That's not within 10 feet. Like, can I aim Blue Crossbow bolt so that it's not Gonna hit where Barney and I are make a roll a persuasion check against me

Okay, I have a plus 12 Yeah, what's your do you guys have modifiers or what you roll 14? Yeah, you, I'll give it to you. Hey! Yeah, you persuaded me, Blaine. Okay. I like making checks against the DM. That's fun. Uh, 4d6 cold damage. Let's let the dice decide it.

Yeah, I like that. That is a, not terrible, 16. Okay. I want to get out of the grapple and if possible use cunning action, yeah. Wait, did you use your bonus action already though? I did. Did I? To do the explosion. Yeah, you said as a bonus action. Yeah, what you did you did you use your bonus action already? Yeah, did I to do the explosion? No, you said as a bonus action. Oh Can I try to get out of the grapple though?

Is that a bonus? Like, that's for movement. Um, normally yeah, but why not? I'll let you try. Oh, okay. Make your choice, either strength or dexterity. That's the sound of a man looking at a high modifier on a character he's looking at. Yeah, let me try. Strength or dexterity. Let's go with old dex.

Watch out! Seven. Hahahaha! It's meh. I-I-I-I-Iide, then Barney. Well, I'm still a bat. How far away am I from this guy? You're 30 feet. I am using my flying speed. Whoa! To get over right up close. Okay. This thing. And I want to aim at the, I guess, tentacle that's grappling Barney. Okay. I will rage again. Okay. You back into Elga or can you rage is about Imagine I cannot rage or attack Yeah, so I turn back

And then I will rage I like that she zoom in with your flight speed, but then like midair turn into The movement and the form of the tail. All right. I'm going to take out my great acts of gaining those gains and try to slice down on the tentacle. That's holding Barney. OK, so to hit that is a 23 that hits doing What note was that Micah? 14 points of slashing damage, okay Does it seem to like weaken its grasp or anything on Barney make a perception check?

Okay, I see nothing. I rolled a one with a plus five six. It still seems to have a very tight grasp on Barney I'll slice it again with my great axe. All right I'm gonna use a inspiration die cuz that's a 14. I imagine that does not hit okay Alright. I'm going to use a inspiration die because that's a 14. I imagine that does not hit. Okay. Oh man. 13.

Sorry. Alright. Well. He's no good. He's no good. I guess that's my turn then. Elga's furiously Elga-ing at one of the ten o'clock, which means it's Matide and then Barney. How big is this thing?

Are we talking Empire State Building? Are we talking dump truck? Yeah, dump. Yeah, what's what's the scale here? You said a mountain mountains range What did you ask that question just to lead up to that joke I found that joke as I said it It's from D&D scale. It's gargantuan. So like the size of a 7-eleven or a Bucky's, okay 32 to 64 feet tall. Okay. Oh, that's manageable Phase inside of it like vision and then mess with its organs. He says a big ma It has a massive ma. Yeah Yeah, ma. What is like a mouth? Okay?

Is it open sure why not can I fly into it? Yeah, why not? Okay, I fly into the mouth Wait there might be something to that probably This is intentional. This is my plan yeah okay they like go some a tea it doesn't like poultry though so chicken you're right you're the bravest person I've ever met I go into the mall okay and what do I see you fly into a damp fetid stinking giant mouth with horrific teeth everywhere Does it have a face? Yeah has eyes you said Yeah, just for I guess perspective you fly in and you know what this is you you just came out of here

Oh, we were in that was the that was oh, is it like scarlet stuff with gray slime? Yeah What? That was- oh is it like Scarlet stuff with gray slime? Yeah Ohhhhh We were in it? Wait, is Hugo here? No- well he's dead Yeah you see his body, uh, hanging on a tooth

Oh So then, at the end- Oh wait, were the white pillars teeth? Yes Yes That's why they had spikes on the ends Spiky So, from my perspective, visually looking at this big big old mouth, is there a throat?

Yes, you realize that's where you were before this we're in the throat and now you will remain where you Before we went into there Were we in its stomach you were? That we were in wasn't it stomach? Yeah, all the green gas. It went under its butt? No. No. So the lockwood is saliva or the stomach acid?

Could I then theoretically travel back to the stomach area? Theoretically, you could try, but the whole area is moving in a way it wasn't before. You could try to start making your way down there. It would take a while but it's way more treacherous than before. Whereas before it seemed like a stable room now everything's sloshing about and moving like the floor becomes the wall becomes the ceiling. Everything's all topsy-turvy. Can I fly up to its face and attack its eyes? Yeah. Okay. If I threw the battle goozling on top of the maw, could it stay on top of the maw and keep attacking it?

It could try, sure. Okay, I'm gonna do that. Ah! Go Pierre! Oui! And that would be my action? Yeah, sure. Okay, then that's what I'm gonna do.

I throw the goozling on the maw. I want to be like hovering in front of the ma and use the patient defense to take dodge Okay, and now it's the goosling. Okay, and the goosling is going to attack the ma We saved it. We save Grotev and in Astro City, they build a giant statue of a goose In Atrocity they build a giant statue of a goose. Of a goose. And then like four little idiots below the goose. It uses bubbling hiss and exhales acidic bubbles in a 15 foot cone because I wanted to hit

as many eyes as I could. Okay. So the creature must make a DC 13 deck saving throw. I bet it's dexterity is not great because it's a mountain. Plus three. Oh, okay. That's a 16. That's my dexterity.

Okay, you take half. Or like a hundred. I can't. 14 plus two, okay. That's a 16. Okay, you take half like 100. I can't 14 plus two 16 acidic damage and I'm done. Barney you are still grappled. Okay, I want to use my channel divinity Twilight Sanctuary. As an action you present your holy symbol and a sphere of Twilight emanates from you. The sphere is center on you, has a 30 foot radius and is filled with them light. Sphere moves with me and lasts for one minute. Whenever a creature including you ends its turn in the sphere, you can grant that creature one of the benefits.

1d6 plus nine temporary hit points or removes Charm to Frightened. And then I want to, Barney wants to try and like fight his way through, out of the maw, or I mean out of the, the, the, Grapple. Grapple. All right, so you're gonna make a check to- But, what, and I think what happens is, instead of like doing that exactly, he um, incorporeal moves through it.

Huh? Okay. Why can't we? And you phase into a misty version of yourself for the duration, spell lasts for one minute and so elga sees this happening is I think Barney does it and guys remember he's dead right we went over this we don't need to keep the pretense up anymore He's not hasn't been made obvious of what he is I found his body in his in his in his coffin. I saw it.

Elga is shocked at the Barney reveal as Barney was shocked at the Elga reveal. Right. I saw the body. It runs in the family that you refuse to acknowledge what is right in front of them. It could have been a dummy body. It could have been... It was a dummy body. He's right there. I have game time for ghosts, okay? I know when I see a ghost. And I can't cast any spells or anything, but I'm also like immune while I'm in that.

You have to, it lasts for a minute. Yeah, so I was double checking. It's resistance, not immunity. Oh, sorry, resistance. And then I'm gonna go and roll for that bonus HP. From your Twilight. So that's 12 bonus H. Okay. And just for the record, within Corporeal Movement, you have Resistance to Non-Magical Damage.

Okay, cool. So it's not Immunity Tall Damage. It's a lot more narrow. Okay, it's the Mountain's turn again. It lost its grip on Barney. Everyone, go ahead and make a Wisdom Saving Throw. 27. Wow. on Barney, everyone go ahead and make a wisdom saving throw.

27. Wow. 15. Five. Okay, that's a 12. All right, only Barney succeeded then. Everyone else is just frightened at the horror that is looking at this giant creature

and the daunting task that lies before you. Is that a condition we should add? Yes. Okay. You're frightened, you can repeat your saving throw at the end of your turn. Also, my Twilight Sanctuary can remove Frightened. Ooh.

At the end of our turn. Yeah, at the end of your turn. But do they have to be within range of you? Yes. 30 feet. Okay, I think they're all probably within 30 feet. It's also going to attack a little more. Ah, it's not holding onto Barney, that's too bad. Well, it's holding onto Chip still.

I was like, Hey, I was holding on to chips It's like when the teachers like I don't need a volunteer for this and you're just like looking down Oh, wait, hold on your Gosling would also have have to make a saving throw against that. Oh, it's immune to being frightened Save us. Okay. I'm I'm annoyed now Don't kill it. The goosling was immune Barney escaped my grasp you all feel murmurs within your mind like just non-stop chattering a cacophony of voices everyone make an intelligence saving throw nine thirty twenty seven eighteen everyone failed great very cool the voices just overcome any ability for you to form your own coherent thoughts

you all take 83 points of psychic damage. If you are still alive, you are now insane. Insane to the brain. You can't take any actions, can't understand what other creatures say, can't read, and can only speak gibberish. You're still up. Would you say who's still up, Barney?

Me. I'm still up. Elga and Matip. The only gibberish you're able to string together is blurble ggirble. Blurble-girble. Blurble-girble. Blurble-girble.

I like the commitment to the bit. It's the best. The same familiar voice bellows all around you. Ha ha ha ha. Dinner is served. your voice bellows all around you. HAHAHAHA! KILLER IS SERVED! The monstrous maw opens wide and like the snap of a finger, darkness swallows you whole. Well, thanks for listening everybody! No way! that was fun.

Wait, rest in peace, Chip. Are we doing another episode? No, we will not see you next week. We're still recording. Well, guys, if you enjoyed that, make sure you follow us on Patreon. A shadow eclipses you from above. You see watery silhouettes of two people, one sitting and the other standing, but both are looking down at the four of you.

A gentle voice calls out to you, It's time my friends, time to wake up. And with hardly any effort, you each feel yourselves gradually float to the surface and inhale what feels like your first breath. Your eyes are blurry, but you feel hands reach out to tenderly pull you out from the water onto a stone ledge. You try to look around, but everything still appears murky. You all feel your lungs slowly swell, inhaling and exhaling the fresh air.

The murkiness slowly subsides from your ears and eyes, and you see two faces softly smiling at you, an elvish woman and a draconic man. They both seem familiar, like faces from a forgotten dream. The man stands and speaks. I realize, you four must have a myriad of questions, But I find it's best to start with the basics. For one, no you're not dead. In fact, you're probably the most alive you've ever been before. As the draconic man speaks, details start to dawn on you. His scales are a burnt orange. You're standing on a circular stone dais surrounded by water, and runic archways arc over your head.

Two, though you may not recognize even yourselves, for some reason you all know each other. And sure enough, you look down to find your reflection in the pool, but an unfamiliar face stares back at you. And three, before I tell you where you are, I'd like my friend to tell you a tale. The draconic man takes his seat once more, and the elvish woman steps forward. She has dark features and black hair. She's wearing a navy cloak

and matching double-breasted tunic, along with eggplant pants and leather boots. Mmm. My name is Sadate Timpour. And this is my tale. Long ago, when I was young, I met a boy named Hubris. I fell in love with his charm and zest for life. Before long, we were betrothed far too young

and eloped as soon as we were of age. One night, I awakened to an empty bedside and went out into the night searching for hubris. I stumbled upon him, hunched over eating and drinking from someone's insides. A horrific visage. What was a zest for life was actually an insatiable hunger and thirst. But before I could react, he overtook me and drew my very life force from me. And that's when I fell into darkness for the first time. I awakened in murky waters and emerged in a strange place.

A world beyond worlds, a space between realities, the connective tissue amongst all planes of existence, the In-universe. It was founded by a society of special individuals whose souls are found in every reality. They may look different in each world, but they possess the same soul and serve as peacemakers in every realm. No one has ever been forced to awaken until they were ready. And for the safety of the realms, the location of the Inuverse has been kept a secret for generations upon generations. But recently, one individual made a connection to the Inuverse without waking up, a man named Hubris.

Though he has never been here before, for reasons I cannot explain, he is now able to travel amidst the known worlds, every realm connected to the Inuverse. His hunger started small, but for every creature he consumed, he grew larger. But it didn't stop with creatures. He began devouring homes, towns, and over time, even entire regions.

When he dies, he just spawns in a new world and begins consuming it. If it continues to grow, he one day may be able to consume entire worlds. What was once a man has now grown into a colossal creature of consumption. Huberus. The Draconic Man's stance. And so we call upon thee. Blaine, son of Gibb. What?

Barbara, from the Men of Dunkle. Uh, uh, uh. Christopher, of the Maris. And John, of those who rise and sing. You four have been chosen by destiny to lead the charge, to gather our ranks from worlds beyond, to face head-on the imminent threat of hubris, and save the universe. Do you accept this quest? Yeah! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Thank you.