Tales from the Stinky Dragon - C03 - Ep. 06 - Mission Through Middrus - Long Armory of the Law

Episode Date: December 11, 2024

Our adventurer's finally catch up with the Magistrate for a showdown in the Armory he is trying to steal from! Support us directly on Patreon https://www.patreon.com/stinkydragon - get access to ad-free episodes, bonus content like Stinky Dragon Adventures & Second Wind, our patreon-exclusive discord, and more! Follow us on our socials at https://linktr.ee/TalesFromTheStinkyDragon Go to http://HeroForge.com and use code STINKY to get 5% off all orders of physical miniatures. Go to http://shopify.com/dragon to sign up for a $1-per-month trial period. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Get groceries delivered across the GTA from real Canadian Superstore with PC Express. Shop online for super prices and super savings. Try it today and get up to $75 in PC Optimum Points. Visit superstore.ca to get started. The Paramount Plus exclusive series, The Agency. The CIA sends us out to behave in a dangerous way. Starring Michael Fassbender and Richard Gere. Whatever it takes, make it invisible. The Agency, new series now streaming exclusively on Paramount Plus. If you

like those words then you'll love our Patreon exclusive podcast called Stinky Pop. Just go over to StinkyDragonPod.com to show your support and you can watch me, John Reisinger, and the rest of the Stinky Dragon team talk about a different movie each episode. Watch along with us as we talk about our favorite films and do not forget we have tons of other awesome exclusive content for our patrons, so once again go visit StinkyDragonPod.com to sign up today. Afternoon, all you Anubians. Swirl your way into the stinky dragon and imbibe our latest blend, One Night's Sand. It's a mixture of milk of Haboob, a single grain of Cinnasand, a cloth full of cloves,

a summoning of Aniseed, a swirling cinder of Citrus, and blue glowing tea leaves. One bottle of this beige beverage and you'll be the harbinger of Dune. Previously our adventurers further explored the caves of the cortege and found a frosty fragment from a forgotten froggy croakfolk. Furthermore they floated down a curious chasm located a lost leg and secured a sparkly spyglass. Finally they furtively footslogged up to a familiar fabrication, the armory. But they are far from alone. Pour yourself the potation and let's proceed with this pungent pot by the way.

He said, ha boob. He did. Hello, everyone. Welcome to Tales from the Stinky Dragon. I'm Gustavo Zorolo, your Dungeon Master, and I'm highly caffeinated today. Not one of those. Not like this. Hey, this is what you get. You interrupted the evil guy's monologue last time, so this is your punishment.

This is what you're going to get. I forgot about that. I'm going to hit our four players with an arrow. So this is your punishment. This is what you're gonna get. I forgot about that. I'm gonna hit our four players with an arrow. Pew! Is that ricocheted and missed or something? Sure did. I'm not answering today's questions.

So guys. Oh, no buts. You're redirecting it. That's exactly it. That'd be such a messed up thing of like rolling a dice to see if we have to answer the question today. Today's arrow submitted by wizard power 700. What's the toughest challenge you have ever faced? Don't everyone go to answer. I know wizard power 700 seems powerful. Don't worry. I'm wizard power

900. Wizard power 700 sounds like a magazine that I would have subscribed to when I was a child. Hello everybody. I'm John Reisinger and I play Natty Wonder. I was about a half a breath away from saying Matide again. Matide, copy. Just don't say Natty Matide. The thought entered my brain. I was like, get, get out of here.

Okay. You already had your campaign. It's like getting to the new year. You know, you have to just get used to saying 2024, 2024. I play Natty wonder who is a drow warlock level three, right? I'm not telling us up secretly Gus. No, John just leveled himself up. He's been grinding in off hours. We have full control over our characters. I can be level 10 if I wanted to.

You can't stop me. What are you going to do? I think they could. I think they could, John. I want to see how. I want to see how. What was the question? I've just diverged through this so much.

What was the hardest challenge you've ever faced? The toughest challenge you've ever faced. Answering this question. My hardest challenge is've ever faced? Answering this question. My hardest challenge is staying on point. My hardest challenge will come to no surprise of anybody. It involves my good, perfect, adorable, angelic little son, Mr. Gigglesworth. I don't know if angelic would be the proper word to describe this guy.

You're demonic more like. I know, I almost went into like a Michigan accent there. Hold on, Kendall. I went into Bobby's world mom right there. Oh, it's one of those days. Yes, Doug, I know that he can come across a little rough around the edges, but I know once you get to know him

and love him the way that I do, you will see the little cherub that's on the end of my leash and holds my heart. Oh, well, Joey's still out, but I see. Joey. It was potty training, giggy. Oh. And by saying that that's my hardest challenge,

it continues. It's continuing to be my hardest challenge because I don't want to put rails around my son. I want him to find his own way in this world. But it would just be nice if maybe once out of five times he dropped a twosies, it was in a proper receptacle. That would be a win for me at this point. Well, does he usually drop his two Z's?

I mean, you know, you name it. Well, I think if I remember right, didn't uncle Toll help with a cleanup in the last episode? Or was that the one before? Yeah, there was a bit of an issue and I think Toll had to step in and help you. And you seemed really relieved about that now that I think about it.

Get your step in. And sometimes they like, help you. And you seemed really relieved about that. Now that I think about it, and sometimes they like, this is probably a little bit of that TMI, but because of what he is, they're hot. They're very hot. That's also just something I did not know that was going to be part of motherhood. So do you, do you pick it up just like straight with your hand then? Or like, how do you clean up his messes? Sometimes I just have to let it sit there and cool down for a bit until it turns into something that I can handle

So that's why there's a whole burn through Doug's bed It's like the acid from a xenomorph y. Well, that's a great start to this episode. Thank you, Nathie. That's my child. Hey, that's what y'all get for being silent and let me go first, okay? I'll go next. Hello, hello, it's me, it's Blaine Gibson

and I play, wait, no. Let me leave the room. Oh, Blaine's gone. Blaine leaves? Yoo-hoo, it's me, Tov. Oh, good to see you all, fresh smiling faces, especially you, Dungeon Master. You have big coffee face right now. So caffeinated, so good for you.

Do you drink coffee, Tov? This is a special arrow just for you. Oh, wow, two arrows in one. What a discount. What is this, Black Friday? If it was, you would get great deals at store.stinkydragonpod.com. Tov does not consume coffee.

It makes him too jittery. Blaine needs coffee right now. His girlfriend's on the way to get coffee. So midway through, you're going to get a sonic boost from Blaine. People will be able to tell the moment Blaine has his coffee in this episode. You will. You will.

I'll call it out. No, leave a comment when you think it happens. Leave the time code, you think I get my coffee. Yeah. You know, the hardest challenge that Tollfus had to face by far was, you know, it came second next to changing Gigi's diaper. But the most challenging challenge was readjusting to life on land. Yeah, it was very hard. You know, I live my life... Is that why you were always just bracing One Direction all the time? Yeah, you know, I just so used to being on a boat, you know, singing songs and doing boat things on the high seas.

Singing songs like from One Direction? No, no. Abba. It's going to start being part of my head Canon that you are not saying boat on mistake. You are actually saying boat on purpose instead of ship. And in fact, Toll came from just a tiny little boat. It wasn't like a big old like Viking ship.

No, like a rowboat. It's just like his made up friends. Like it's going to start being that way with me. I love it. I just thought you liked to dance and sway. Yeah. Yeah. So anyways, being back on land very hard, you know,

after being on a chip, it feels wrong coming out. My words. I think you can boat challenge a lot more natural. You do you. Do you think the hardest challenge Troll has ever had is distinguishing between boat and ship is what I'm guessing here? That was number three, yeah.

I'm sorry, I should shut up more. The poopy diapers. And then the boat. Did you say what Tove was? Oh my God, oh my God, I'm so sorry. He's opening his thing right now. I was looking up the Viking word for boat. I am a male orc barbarian three.

Three. I like that he's looking up the Viking word for boat and not the Viking word for ship. It's just classy. I mean, it's just like head on a hat. It's just so perfect. I love it. I also, I know in our previous campaign,

we always joked around about how small John's mouth would get when he was voicing Mateed. Yeah. But Blaine's mouth gets so big when he's voicing Cole. He's enunciating like a pro is what he's doing. It's like the opposite. Yeah. I could go next, I guess, since Chris is silent.

I'm still thinking. We need to like, we need to like draw lots or something. Or that's a good idea. We can also just roll every time. We can roll off. Ooh. Roll off each time. Let's start doing that. If we remember next time, let's have an initiative order.

Next time we go. That's a good idea. I like that. I like that. See you in two weeks. Three campaigns. And that's what we came up with. I think if people are familiar with our show behind the screen,

also available on our Patreon, we always roll initiative in that show to determine the order which people answered so we can incorporate something from behind the screen into the main show. And what is Behind the Screen for those of our listeners who might not be familiar with the topics? Barbara, thank you for asking. What a great question. It's a show we have available on our Patreon,

where we go like a little behind the scenes and talk about a variety of topics. I think we've had topics about running mod campaign modules. We had a different episode about improv, an episode about dungeon mastering. So just kind of things you can put in your toolbox to help you run games or to even like play games, things that that we find useful. And if you'd like more information, you can go to stinkydragapod.com and I believe that show is available.

Is that at our... Big stinker. Big stinker? Okay, yeah, big stinker level and above. So go check it out. It's just another piece of content we produce that, if you like the show, it's just more. I think we even had one about us developing our campaign two characters, which is really fun.

Just about the character. Creation in general. Yeah. Like our kind of philosophies and thoughts and our process. And Micah just reminded me, and the audience gets to vote on the topics that we talk about. We put that in the Discord. And so it's things that people in the community actually want to hear about that we will talk about.

Yes, absolutely. You're saying this is a democracy? Ha ha ha. TBD. Ha ha ha. Hello, everyone. My name is Barbara Dunkelman. And I play. Hi, absolutely. You saying this is a democracy? Tbd. Hello everyone. My name is Barbara Dunkelman and I play, hello John. Good to see you.

I play Doug Boone, the bugbear artificer, also level three. Hi Doug. Hello Gus, nice to see you again on this fine morning. I hear you're having some coffee. Yeah, I just finished my fourth cup. I think I'm going to be a little jittery. Are you serious? Yeah.

Wow, that's a lot of coffee. Wow, that's a lot. You all are in for it. Doug is more of a fan of, sometimes he drinks a little bit of green tea, sometimes maybe like a matcha latte. Mm, delicious matcha. He actually has a couple contraptions that he's built that actually could brew it for him

in the morning without him even having to do anything. That sounds right up Doug's alley. Like, uh, making a little contraption for that. I love it. Except it's not like what we're thinking in our head of like a Keurig. It's like those little, uh, conveyor belt machines from like the opening of like, honey, I shrunk the kids. Oh, like Pee-wee Herman. Yeah, it's Pee-wee Herman. That's what it is. Goldberg. Yeah. Yeah. Also, sorryeewee Herman. That's what it is. Goldberg. Yeah. Oh yeah.

Also, sorry to pop in here. It says 12 again. Did you say 12? Did you say green tea? Green tea, yeah. Oh, okay. Okay. I just wanted to make sure the W was where it was supposed to be.

Not the R. I take the R's, you take the W's. Anyways. Continue on, sorry. Oh, thanks 12. Thanks for the insight. How do you say green tea? Green tea.

Oh, that's very, that's very crispy. I like it. Uh, and the biggest challenge Doug has had to face, is that the question? Toughest challenge. Yeah. Well, this is a little more broad, but you know, the biggest challenge Doug's had to face was back when he lived with, you know, his community, his family, and he felt like he really didn't fit in.

And so, you know, Doug had to do a lot of kind of blending in and trying to be someone he was not around these people. And so that was really tough for Doug. So now that Doug's been a little bit more on his own, it's been a little more comfortable for him. And, you know, it feels like he could truly be himself. And I think he started to feel that way around his uh his team as well surprisingly he's not used to feeling this kind of connection and so yeah it's all not up and up for Doug oh good go be

18 yeah sounds like things are going good Daya. Yeah. Who's Daya. Oh, oh no. We don't do Daya here. Daya is not a thing here. We don't do Daya here. It also Doug is facing, you know, some other challenges that he's not really ready to open up about yet. What are you Gunther? Don't you have your own God told like a God of the sea? I'm looking him up. We haven't connected in a while. He's just so proud. He remembered a name from two campaigns ago. Well, it sounds like things are in the upswing Doug and I'm happy for you. Yeah. Oh, thanks guys. It's good to be here. Speaking of being here, I'm here. I'm Chris Demares. What? Chris is here? And I'm playing Gunther.

He's a male croak folk frog fellow, level three fighter. Hardest challenge. There's two. Number one would be being forced to leave my family and community behind. It looks like we've got the opposite problem. And leaving everything I love and cherish. The other is one time I there was a bug on a cacti. I went after it.

It is wrapped around and then I was on my tongue. My tongue was so wrapped around with thorns. Oh, is that why you got that cool tongue piercing? No. That was a, I was stabbed. Oh, dear. That's smart. But also the cacti did not help.

Do not do it! I promise I will never try to catch a bug on a cacti ever,i ever until you have my word. Good. Toll takes the cactus away that he was about to taste. Okay. I will say, well, someone was giving an answer. I don't know if it was Toll or Natty.

Chris started reaching off camera. Like he had to take his headphones off to grab something. And I thought he was, when he pulled it into camera to put it away, I thought he had grabbed a burrito, like a something and I thought he was when he pulled it into camera to put it away I thought he had grabbed a burrito like a breakfast burrito and was about to eat it But it was like I guess like a dog chew It must be a toy for your dog and you were getting it away from him. I was like, okay, it's not a burrito Yeah, did you see him also? I put it up on a shelf and did you see him like trying to jump up on the shelf?

And I did not see that. No. It's like straight out! He's chewing it too loudly. Meanwhile at Blaine's house. Look at that dog. He's sleepy. Sleepy doggy in the back. Just see his little face back there.

No more dogs! More D&D! D&D stands for Dogs and Dogs. It's D&D and D. I would go Dungeons and Dragons and Dogs, but we can do Dogs and Dogs. Just Dungeons and Dogs. Say Dragons. And Dungeons and Dogs.

No, I don't want the Dogs and Dungeons! That's where he- And Dogs. That's where Natty kills them! He puts them in a dungeon. No, I don't want the dogs in dungeons. That's where he and dogs. That's where Natty kills them. He puts them in a dungeon. Listen, we're going to have a talk about that because that seems to have really bothered you. Good.

Let's do it. Great. I've been listing off all of my reasons why I did not like it and it made Torv uncomfortable. Now it seems to be that you have maybe a different relationship with what death is than what I do. Okay. And so I totally understand how from your perspective that probably came across as shocking. Yeah.

I mean, I think you actually shocked them with your spell. Yeah. Well, it's not, it's not, it's not electric. Eldridge blastasts are different. Woogie, woogie, woogie. No, it's just when Gunther had pointed out that if we left them there, they were gonna die a painful death.

I embrace the change of what death. Death is in the end, it's just a change to the next. And I have a good relationship with death. And so I was helping those dogs in that way. But you know what? I understand that without context and without discussing it, that was probably a little out of line there, Tov, so I'm sorry.

I accept your apology. Guys, I think that Natty's in a death cult. Let's continue on with the adventure. We find ourselves in a death cult. Let's continue on with the adventure. We find ourselves in a sticky situation. Well, not just you. I don't know about this we. Okay. Yeah, that sounds like a you problem tov. Help. Gunther, I recall from two episodes ago you said you liked eating glue. Go to Oh, yeah Good memory because I did not You bring your warhammer down splintering the wood on the top of the chest and as you do so

Some kind of sticky substance fires out coating you told oh That sticky substance shoots out. Yeah Probably like a booby trap. Maybe. Or like some type of defense of whatever's in this chest. Yeah, as you're standing there, you feel like it's more and more difficult to move and you're becoming adhered to the floor, Tov. Uh oh. Guys, I made a mistake! Guys!

Oh, no! You did precisely what you needed to do. Out from behind one of the racks steps the magistrate. Exactly as planned. No help foolish of you. You've delivered the scale of scales right into my head. Natty shoots him while he's talking. All right, I guess we ended that last episode with Natty firing off an Eldritch Blast, so let's start this episode with it.

Why don't you go ahead and roll, see if that hits Natty. Yeah, that's 21 for hit. Yeah, yes, that hits. That's a D10 plus three. Did we roll initiative at any point? No, he just started with this in the middle of the magic speech. He did this. So I'm giving him this and then we'll go. We'll switch over to initiative there.

That's a nine. There's a line. Nine plus three is twelve. Struggling with those dice today, John. It's because I couldn't see if the line was there of like underneath the bottom of the nine or the bottom six. I need to turn a light on my room actually, you're right. I was just actually looking up what kind of damage is Eldritch Blast? Oh, let me think. Force, force damage. Nice.

I'm just curious. Not electricity. Not electricity. No. 12 points of force damage. Okay, the Eldritch Blast flies through hitting the magic for 12 points of damage. He groans, stares at you Natty and murmurs, I hold you in contempt. Okay.

Everyone roll initiative. Hold up. I forgot. There's actually two more things that happen when I do Eldritch Blast. Plus three damage to that because of agonizing blast, which is an Eldritch invocation I have. And then he also moves 10 feet away from me

in the direction I shot him because of Repelling Bl blast, which is another one of my invocations. Okay. So he is just north of you in the armory. Did they die? Does that mean we no longer have to roll initiative? Let's see. Did that put it over the top? Did they fall out of the window? No. Okay. Rolling initiative. That's a good question, 12. Thank you. Seven.

You bet. 14. 15. 15 as well. Who's hired as your all initiative? 15 decks. 16 decks. Okay, so it goes 12, Natty, Gunther, Doug.

Yes, exactly the opposite of how I'd written all your names down. So great. Thanks guys. Exactly opposite. Just as we planned. Yeah. I was like, I'm going to be smart. I'm going to write down their names alphabetically because it's only random.

And you still manage to do it. All right. The magistrate rolled a two. Let me see if he has any modifiers on that. So he goes last. Awesome. Awesome. Told. Oh he goes last. Awesome. Awesome. Toad.

Oh yeah, Toad. You're first, but you are kind of stuck in a bunch of glue in front of the chest. What do you want to try to do? Yeah. How stuck is Toad? I mean, can he swing his arms around or is he? Is it just feet or is everything paralyzed?

Yeah. I guess getting into the meta, is my speed reduced or am I like prone? You have the status effect restrained in D&D. You can toggle that in your character sheet. So when you're restrained, your speed becomes zero. So you can't move. Attack rolls against you have advantage and your attack rolls have disadvantage.

And you also have disadvantage on dexterity saving throws. Ooh, really taking it easy on me today, aren't you? Don't put this on me. You're the one who went up and smashed the chest. I'm trying to speed things along, okay. It was a Habubi trap. Is there something you could do, Tov, to deal with the glue? Let's see.

What can I do? I'm stuck in glue again. Oh, gee whiz. Again, you could let the magistrate win. Just throwing that out there. It's an option. That is an option. Okay. Taping that into consideration. No bad ideas.

Can I, I'm trying to think of a creative way to get out of the glue, but I can't. Like, did I just, can I just get out of the glue? Can I pull the glue off of me? You can try. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna try to pull this glue off of me. It's sticky and it makes me feel claustrophobic okay 12 making let's call

it a strength check strength check that's good barbarian 15 pretty good that that works in fact is your save different than your check you rolled a strength save and I just want to make sure you're getting the full use Of your modifiers. Oh, it's plus five Strength is plus three. Sorry. Was it a saving throw or is it a check? I'm sorry. Yeah, they're just we'll figure out eventually It's a 23 if you want to take Meet me at the table here goes It was a 13. Meet me at the table here, Gus.

You rolled a 13. What if I use my inspiration die and then I'll interactively use the 23? No, no, no. Okay, okay, I'm pulling your leg. You put your hammer down for a second to begin pulling at the glue, and you begin getting some pretty decent chunks of it out. I'll say that you free yourself so you will no longer be restrained and you can move on your next turn, but you use your action to free yourself on this turn.

Yeah, I figured. OK, then I use my bonus action to say, go team! You can do it! Woohoo! Wait, can I rage? Is that a bonus action? That is a bonus action. It is bonus. Yeah, but you have to get attacked by the end of this round for it to maintain, right? I think as long as he attacks on his next turn.

Oh, is that how it works? Because if he does it at the end of this turn, I think it's like a whole round. I didn't want to stop you from doing anything. I just want to make sure you didn't waste any rage things because I want you to have all your rage you have, because it's very important. Full transparency. I'm also confident I'll get attacked. This you didn't waste any rage things because I want you to have all your rage you have because it's very important full transparency I'm also confident. I'll get attacked. This guy didn't like me. I don't know. Okay, good. You're also in glue. So he might Okay, good. Yeah, I believe you get advantage on strength based roles while you're raging

So if you'd raged and then tried to get out of the glue, you might have had a better chance That's why I'd message you that lessons learned Messaged him that? Why didn't you just say it? Well, it was after he'd already done it, and so it didn't really. Oh, oh, oh, oh. It's because he doesn't want to get called out

for metagaming. Listen, if you get a DM behind you, your DM, then I get a little guy behind me, my little guy. My little guy. I feel like I'm talking to the Council of Barbarians, because it's like Barbara Blaine and Chris Don you know you have to play one next Want to cuz I want to let you guys just be the council of barbarians and I'll just be the other guy

I don't think much would get done. What are the council of barbarians even discuss do we rage? Raging say are Do we rage? What are we mad about? The fever of raging say arrrrr! Arrrr! What's new in rage this year? It's all the rage Gus! Council Barbarians sounds like a podcast of boys that I wouldn't want to watch. First order of business gum gum you've got to clean up after yourself in the public toilet. It's like what we do in shadows but just barbarians in a house together.

That's really funny. Sounds like a new reality show. I'd watch that. Sounds like some good Patreon bonus content. There you go. So we'll say that the rage thing is fine. I think strictly by the letter of the rules, you would have to attack or get damage to this round, but it's fine. It's whatever.

Again, not setting a precedent. Just saying this now in case it comes up again later. Okay, can't wait to make the shirt that's not setting a precedent so that Gus can wear it all the time. I'll just point to the shirt. Thank you, most honorable Gus. All right, is that it for you, Tov?

Yeah. Okay. I still cheer the team on though. I just want to make sure that's clear. Yeah, it's very clear. Yeah. Is your mouth covered in glue though? So... No, he got all the glue off. Oh, yeah. That's what clear. Yeah. Is your mouth covered in glue though? So when I'm...

No, he got all the glue off. Oh, yeah. That's what Gus gave him. I'll let you in a sec. If you roll poorly, I was gonna say your hands were gonna be stuck in the glue too. And you were gonna be like double restrained. Okay, that's it for Toll's Natty.

You are up. Yeah. Natty is going to... Natty's gonna turn to Gigi. He's like, Gigi, do you wanna try that move we've been working on? And Gigi like turns back and he's going to turn to, he's like, Gigi, do you want, you want to try that move we've been working on? And Gigi like turns back and he's like, ah, ah, ah, ah.

And Matty grabs. The way Discord muffled your sound. Yeah, it sounded like terrible through Discord, but it's hilarious. Matty grabs Gigi's like leash and starts kind of like spinning around like a shot clip thrower and then let's go and release his giggy at the magistrate your son is a weapon yeah he's very powerful and he's he's a good boy I don't have him poop on

him it's hot I don't have him poop on him. It's hot And you had on his actions list Do that Maybe we can level up giggy and give him that you know the bad guy in Matilda trench bowl or whatever. Yeah. Yeah Yeah, but you did that you did that thing with the hair How far away is the magistrate question? Let me open up the map Sorry now that he moved 10 feet away from me, open up that map a straight. I'll let myself out of here.

Plus 10 feet is about 30 feet away. Okay. Can Gigi do a claw attack on the magistrate? Absolutely. Okay. As he flies at the magistrate, what to do. Okay. Don't put Gigi in a corner.

Nobody. And I'm going to roll for a claw attack, which is plus 40 hit. I rolled 13, so 17. That is a hit. It takes 1d4. It's 3 plus 3, so 6 piercing damage. And the target must succeed on a DC 10 Constitution saving throw or take some poison damage and become poisoned.

Okay I've got a plus one to Constitution so I need to roll a nine or better. Cool. Roll a six. Even worse I rolled a two. Oh yeah! Poison damage! That's 2d4 poison damage one plus two so three poison damage and you are poisoned for one minute. Target can repeat the saving throw at the end of each of its turns, ending the effect on itself on a success. Dubs sees this happening and goes, note yourself, never upset Gigi. Or Nady. Bonjour, Mathieu Confissus here, and I wanted to talk to you a little bit about what it is like being a small business owner and trying to grow said business.

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Go over to heroforge.com and use the code STINKY to get 5% off all orders of physical miniatures. Once again, that's heroforge.com, use the code STINKY. As a Fizz member, you can look forward to free data, big savings on plans, and having your unused data roll over to the following month, every month. At Fizz, you always get more for your money. Terms and conditions for our different programs and policies apply. Details at fizz.ca. Okay, so yeah, Natty sends Gigi flying at the magistrate claws first. And I like to think that Gigi like attaches to the magistrate's face and just begins going

to town before hopping off. Just a cat being dropped on someone's face. That's what it is. Yeah. I didn't even think this through just because I thought it'd be fun to do this. Does that, is that my action that I threw the child? I think that's an action. Okay. I mean, you did something. Chris, you sound different today. No, that's fine. It's true. Blanket. You get inspiration. I got one who needs it. Barbara. I already got one who needs it. Barbara.

Bonus action. I'm gonna cast Hex on Magistrate, which I should have done beforehand, but I'm new to being a Warlock. All right. You place a curse on a creature that you can see within range. Until the spell ends, you deal an extra 1d6

necrotic damage to the target whenever you hit it with an attack. Oh. And I also get to choose one ability when I cast the spell, the target has disadvantage on ability checks made with the chosen ability. Constitution.

Wait, this is disadvantage. You can't try and make a request. What you got to say this gun through though. Yeah. Uh, okay. Okay. Yeah. Uh, either, uh, wisdom or strength.

Why? Because it will make him fall. Fine. I'm a team player. This is Natty saying yes and Straight All right disadvantage on strength checks and a turn. All right, so that was Natty's turn That means Gunther Europe after Gunther is Doug Gunther. All right, how far away is Gunther from him? You're probably the same as Natty. I'd say roughly you all are about 30 feet away from the magistrate.

All of you. And how close to each other, just for my reference? I pictured you all were like side by side, looking, cause you all were looking at the chest. We came through that, yeah. Yeah, when Gunther, when Toll hit it. So 30 feet, specifically? Yes. Okay.

All right, well, Gunther's gonna move a 25 feet walking speed that he has forward and then going to use his gonna throw out a hand axe. Okay, just so you know, if he's 30 feet away and you move 25 feet, you're in the square next to him. So that's enough? He is within melee range, yes. Okay, well then he'll do that and then make an attack with his sword.

All right. Mm, great. No, Gunther, put your phone away. Now's not the time to be using that. Ah, that was not a good roll. The app question. Yeah. That was a 10. Mm hmm.

A 10 is a miss. Gigi starts laughing at you. It's pretty. Wait, I don't have one. You can't get to five. He doesn't laugh at him. Here, take this. Don't eat it.

Don't eat it. Can he do that? Is that okay Gus? Yeah, like that. Yeah, I think what we said before, I didn't want to bring it up because I don't want to slow things down, but I think what we had said before was that you can give the inspiration die if the person is going to use it immediately.

So like when you gave it to Doug earlier, that was like, whatever. But yeah, I think this is the perfect use case. If you're going to give it and they use it immediately, absolutely. But yeah, I think this is the perfect use case. Like if you're gonna give it and they use it immediately, absolutely, but big asterisk here. Tov, what do you do to inspire Gunther? Oh. Hey.

I say, Perfect. No, no, no, I'm trying to think of a stupid law pun because I had so many when I was Sawyer and I'm trying to think of those. Yeah, I lost it. I don't know you can do it frog man stab him with your sword your long sword that is like one inch long I don't know yeah thank you I'll do it or shall perish trying oh no don't do that. I

Really hope I'd all right. Yeah, go ahead. You feel inspired. All right 24 24 the magistrate looks at you gunther and just says overruled roll again again All right, that's ability broken! How dare you use it! I feel like he hasn't taken a long rest since using the three luck points he used on Toad last time. Who's to say it's luck that he has? Oh. Yeah, when Gus said it's something like luck.

It's like lucky. It's not quite the same thing. It suck! That's what it is! What about a 19? A 19? Yeah, alright, fine. You're not blamed. I'm not going to use every single... It's suck! That's what it is! What about a 19? A 19? Yeah, alright, fine.

I'm not- you're not Blaine, I'm not gonna use every single uh... option I have on you. Alright, and then I also want to use uh, Trip Attack with that. When you hit with the weapon attack, you can spend one Superiority Die to add the total to the damage roll, and if the target is large or smaller, it must make a strength saving throw. On a failure, you knock the target prone. That's why I wanted the strength thing. Okay, but that's a saving throw.

He has disadvantage on checks. We could fudge the numbers. We can fudge the wording, right? Dang it, Chris. I had it set for constitution so you at least stay poisoned and I changed it for you. That's okay. This is part of the montage where we're improving

You know, we made a goof them up, but we'll come back stronger. Yeah, this is this is the first fight where we do bad Yeah, it shows how cool we are later like second only, you know, you all thought the daemon girls Against the magistrate we just locked them up and then shit against the magistrate. I was about to say, I thought we just locked them up and then sh- No, no. I don't want to talk about it. Alright, go ahead and let's roll your damage and we'll figure out the rest, the other stuff. Alright, damage. Damage.

That's 11 plus the superiority die, which is, so that's 16. Ooh, 16 points of damage. You do a lot of damage, Gunther. Thank you. And then, what kind of saving throw do I need to make? That's strength. The magistrate has a plus one on strength, so what saving throw do I need to make? That's strength. The Magistrate has a plus one on strength. So what's the number I need?

The DC? 14. 14. So I need a 13 or better. Rule of two again. 10, 11. Alright, so he's prone now. Whoopsie.

I hate you guys. Alright, so he is prone, writing that down, poisoned, and prone. Great. Awesome. Wouldn't it be funny if we killed him right now? Yeah. He's like a pretty big bad guy.

Yeah, love it. Well, we don't have to kill him, because I'd still like to question this guy. So we can do the thing where it's like we take him down to incapacitated. To court. Yeah. Yeah.

All right, is that it for you, Gunther? That is it. All right, Gunther is done. That means it is Dougther. That is it. All right Gunther is done That means it is Doug then the magistrate then back to the top with 12. Okay I see all my all my fellow teammates fighting so I'm gonna do someone try to do some damage, too Yeah You got you can figure this out. I can figure this out. All right. Doug's going to catch fire bolt. Ooh, at the magistrate. 20. Uh, yeah, that hits.

So I also want to point out and I'll do this after I roll my damage, but Doug has something called surprise attack. Um, if I hit a creature with an attack roll, the creature takes an extra 2d6 damage if it hasn't taken its turn yet. Oh, that's why you're asking where he is in the order. In combat specifically. So it's three damage from the firebolt. And then 2d6. And then 2d6. Okay. And that's additional seven. So it's 10 total. Does it look to be like extra effective on him? Extra effective.

I wouldn't say that necessarily. It seems pretty standard based on your experience with it. And then after this Doug says, at this time the defense rests this case. Oh, that's good, yeah. I love it. Wait, so were you asking that because it's fire bolt and Would they be immune or would they be open? Like vulnerable to it?

Yeah, I don't know. Well the magistrates of what? Demongrel? Yeah, do we know what kind of creature? It's not a demongrel. A fiend. A fiend. Okay. He had no friend to me. Alright, that's it for you Doug? Yes, that is it. Okay. He has no freedom to me. All right. That's it for you, Doug? Yes. That is it.

Okay. And I'm going to stay where I am. All right. It's finally the Magistrate's turn. The Magistrate rises to his feet and you hear him say, let's set the record straight. And he's going to, I guess Gunther and Geeky are in his face. He's probably going to go after Gunther cuz Gunther did more damage. Okay Well, you didn't like my ten hole damage points for my well, you're further away

He's looking at the enemies right in front of him Well, it's because he spent his movement speed on getting up because he knocked his butt down. Yeah, that too Take on the guys around you because you want to it's because you have to All right, they'll go for you next Trying to dry girl, that's I just bet you can't hit me from all the way over there So pictures got a big but the magistrate winds up with his hammer and tries to bring it down on Gunther hitting a C.

I'm imagining it makes like a squeaky toy noise. So 15 plus five hits AC 20. That will hit, believe it or not. All right, the mallet comes down on you doing eight points of damage. Oh. And you must make a wisdom saving throw. Wisdom?

Jokes on you, Gunther's the wisest of us all. Go ahead, show him Gunther. 10. Okay, never mind He's not unwise. He's got a plus one. Yeah as the magic strikes you Gunther He says you can't handle the truth And you take some additional psychic damage Jack Nicholson cool guys So I see legally blind someone just has to dress in pink and then really tell them what's what I know Six points of psychic damage Gunther so 16 total. Yes. Oh jeez. That's nothing. That's nothing damn. We could take more

All right, so I think the magistrate hears you That pleases the court. And he winds his mallet up and takes another swing at Gunther. Sorry Gunther. With friends like Toad, why you need enemies? That's only an eight. Okay.

That misses. And you know what? I repost. When a creature misses you with a melee attack, you can use your reaction and expend one superiority die to make a melee weapon attack against him. Melee. Superiority die to attack them as well. Every single word he's missing are the first time he's ever said that word out loud. That frog's not good at reading, but he's good at attacking!

That frogs not good at reading but he's good at attacking. It's okay, I called it, I called it Super Smash Brothers Melee as well because I never heard of that before. Can't wait to eat this delicious Melee. Can I do that Gus? Yeah, absolutely. All according to Toad's plan. It'd be funny if after all that you went no. Does a 14 hit? Yeah, a 14 does hit. Yay!

You know what? Nah. Roll it again. What? Oh man. Sneaky. God, that's annoying. It is, right?

10. No, that doesn't hit. Sorry. Come on! As you repost and miss, the magistrate says, I hold you in contempt. You already said that one. You used that.

Did I? Okay. In that case, he says, You are excused. Okay, bye bye. Does that mean I can go? Or maybe on your turn. On your turn you can. All right, so that was it for you.

That was your reaction to him. He attacked twice, he hit once, missed the other one. I have two options here, I'm just trying to wait which one is the best in this situation. Go with option two. Option two? Okay. Option two. In that case, the magistrate looks at Tollf. You remember this Stare Tollf, he's done this to you once before. Yoohoo!

And a cloud of smoke crackles over your head. Make me a wisdom saving throw, Tollf. Wisdom saving throw. Wait! He's poisoned, right? He should have disadvantaged on his attack rolls. Did you do that? Oh, since only the first one hit, let me reroll that.

No evidence, your honor. Yeah. I present the court with exhibit A. Exhibit A. The defendant was poisoned. It's a 17. I think the other one was a 20. So that's dark hits.

My armor class is 17. Yeah. So it matches that hits. Damn. Wisdom. Oh yeah. So make me a wisdom saving throw. Okie dokie.

Oh, that's a 19. Oh. Why you look so frustrated Gus what's wrong? The cloud of smoke dissipates over your head. Did someone fart? It wasn't me. Gus is gonna enjoy killing Toll of this game. I think that's my turn, is it not? Sorry, yeah, just replying to one thing here. He's texting his mom saying, come pick me up, my friends are being mean. So that's all the Magistrate can do. He's going to roll that check to see if the poison clears. DC 10, I believe he needs a 9 or better.

17, 18, so yeah, the poison leaves the magistrate system. He feels much better. Roll it again! Do you have lucky? You don't have lucky. That's just Blaine telling you to roll it, Chad. But he is still hexed and does still have disadvantage on strength checks. Alright, that is it for the magistrate,

which means we go back up to the top with 12 and then after 12 is Natty. Hey number one, no more glue on me. I'm coming for ya. So I'm gonna move 25 feet towards the magistrate. You move up where Gunther and Gigi are. And then I pull out my war hammer and it's two handed cause I've got no shields on me.

To hold me down yeah, and I a lot. Does anybody got a boat? Does anybody got a boat? You gave all your inspiration die away! It was so cute when anybody got inspiration! Could I, I mean I know that he probably gave it to me under circumstances that aren't allowed, but could I give the inspiration die that Tolv got back to him? Yes, and this is the case where I think it applies, where you can give it and someone immediately uses it. Okay, here you go. So according to the rules, Tol told should have never been able to give it in the first place So it's his anyways. Thank you Barbara

There was three lucky points for it for Kai Borg, yeah, Well, I'll let this one hit I'll let this one stand feel back You can't talk trash now. What do I do? All right, it's all real damage. Yeah Also because I'm raging again advantage and strength checks saving throws plus two melee damage with your strength weapons Mm-hmm. That was an eight plus three, that's 11, plus an additional two because I'm raging. So that's 13. Okay.

Plus I have the storm aura of the sea. You gain a 10 foot aura effect when you start your rage as a bonus action on each of your turns. When activated, one creature of your choice is in your aura. Takes lightning damage. Dexterity DC 13, half damage on success based on your level. I'm level three, so that's 1d6. All right, so DC 13. What kind of save was it?

A dex. Dex. All right, you got it, dude. Dex is plus one, so I need a 12 or better. Roll like a three if you could. Oh, how about a 19? So that is a plus 120. is plus one, so I need a 12 or better. Roll like a three if you could. Oh, how about a 19? So that is plus 120. That is a successful save. So I'll roll a D6 and cut it in half.

It's a six, that's not bad, I'll still take it. Three points of damage. All right. Lightning, so 16 points total. Yeah, the magistrate kind of leans in a little bit to you, told, and asks, could we have a sidebar? Oh, are you asking or is this another catchphrase cuz I'll talk I'll talk you need more

circuit training my gavels bigger than yours what circuit was because electricity cuz oh okay yeah how those jokes are always better if you need more circuit training That I win at good circuit is also a court thing. That's that's how it starts getting out. Yeah Yeah, meaning it gets good. It's good. It's it's not bad Anyways, who's attacking me? For this conversation Yes, that was both my attack, my movement, and my bonus action. OK.

I rest my case. Nattie, you are up. And then after Nattie is Gunther. OK. Nattie. Nattie's just going to crack her knuckles and do what she does best and just send out an Eldritch Blast to hit this judge. Woo.

Yeah. 15. Yeah! All right. Yah! 15? Yeah, that hits. Okay. 6 plus 3, that's 9 Force Damage. Plus 3 damage, because the Agonizing Blast, I'm gonna not push him away this time. Okay. But I also forgot that I have another thing.

Genie's Wrath. Once during each of your turns, when you hit with an attack roll, you can deal an extra two thunder damage to the target. Ooh. So two thunder damage as well. Oh, I have a question. The court recognizes Chris Damaris. Mm-hmm.

If he was to be pushed away by Eldritch Blast, would that invoke an opportunity attack? Ooh. I don't know. Oh, damn it. Let me look. You're the one who's supposed to tell us. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. I don't know. It's not're the one who's supposed to tell us.

I don't know. It's not the answer we usually get from Gus. No, it's forced movement that's not on his turn. So it does not trigger. Okay. I like where your head's at, Gunther. Minmax it. It is underneath his hammer. That was a hundred percent Chris. That was not Gunther. Do not address Gunther. That was Gunther. Oh, he also takes necrotic damage because of the hex. So two necrotic damage. It's like little by little. It's like not any one thing does a ton of damage, but it's just like this and this and

this. Yeah. If he's a fiend, is he like immune to necrotic damage? So what's your stance on us Googlingling that probably put us to the right. Do not Google it. That's definitely metagaming. Why don't you say I will say technically Gigi is a fiend and Gigi is not immune to necrotic damage.

But I don't know if that's a fiend thing for everybody. Doug, why don't you make me a call it a history check? OK, so I didn't do what I... Let's call it a history check. Okay, sorry to interrupt. I just need to do a quick history check. It's okay, read your book, Doug, it's cool. That's a 23. Ooh. You don't think that fiends,

especially because you know about Gigi, you don't think fiends are inherently resistant to that as a damage type. Yeah. As your Elder Splash strikes the magistrate, it kind of knocks him down a little bit. Then he looks your elder splash strikes the magistrate, it kind of knocks him down a little bit. Then he looks up at you, Nattie, and says, you remind me of a baker I once knew.

They love to receive just desserts. Ooh. He's getting meta. You laid a lot of track on that one there, magistrate, but you got there. And then can Gigi take an attack? Yeah. OK, then Gigi is going to do another claw at the face.

And he's going to roll a, oh, that's a 13. Yeah, that's a miss. OK, then Gigi just licks him instead. Cute. Sweet. No, but like, just like, ah, ah, ah, just like all over him. I picture Gigi's tongue is like a cat's tongue. It's like super rough.

Yeah, but it's rough both ways, no matter which direction you feel it. I hate it. Weird. Did we proc the blinded condition with Gigi's drool? Not kidding. And then that'll be it for me. All right. That's it for Natty. That means Gunther is up. And then after Gunther it for me. All right.

That's it for Natty. That means Gunther is up. And then after Gunther is Doug. And then the match is straight. Oh, that was a Mateed reference. Yes, Blaine. We got there. We got there.

I want to use my bonus action to second wind myself. Once per short rest, I can use bonus action to regain 1d10 plus 3 HP. Okay. I second wind myself. Also the name of our bonus show, if you go to stinkydragonpod.com, second wind is the show we put out every other week, all about what happened in each episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon.

Yeah, it's good. It's gooood. Available at every level on the Patreon at stinkydragonpod.com. That's not much. Oh well. Two plus... I think you're dragon pod.com. That's not much. Oh, well Two plus I think it's a lot. It's a lot of value. It's a lot of value Chris our patrons great My 5hp, all right, and then for my action I'm a attack. Okay, stabby do it. I dare you He's daring you you've got to do it now. Oh 25 Okay, and you know what what I want to do it again I want to try the

Trip-attack again. Oh, okay. Okay, so I'm gonna You have to make a strength saving throw of 14. Okay so I need a 13 or better. Roll a seven. So two. I'll take it. I'm sick of failing these so he's going to use a legendary resistance and instead chooses to succeed on that one. Oh my god how do I get that ability? How many do you have of these huh? Well this is legendary resistance which is separate from the other thing. Oh, wow. This guy is powerful. Yeah. So that's an eight damage. OK.

And then action surge. Oh! You have an action surge? Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. New action surge just dropped. Gave me shivers. And I'm going to do it again, the whole thing. OK.

Stab again. That's 18. Get off Ha! Stab again. What'd it... That's 18. Get off your phone, Gunther. Yeah, that hits. Heh heh heh heh. I'm gonna make that joke every time. Even better the second time. Do we use Kyborg's action surge line for whenever Gunther action surges? He's his own man.

Yeah, he had his own take on it. All I'm saying is two of the five of us are wearing Kyborg shirts. His legend lives on. Ah! Heh heh heh heh heh. Kyborg shirts his legend lives on. The Council of Barbarians shall wear only one shirt. That of a archer fighter. And then I'm gonna once again try and trip. Okay. That hit right?

Yeah 18 hits. So you're gonna make a strength roll? Oh I thought you were doing damage. Okay yeah I'm gonna make the roll plus one. That's an 11 which fails. He's gonna use another legendary resistance. And he's gonna choose to succeed on that. Legendary resistance he has three of in a day.

So that's two of them. So he just chooses? Yeah. So you have three legendary resistances and I'm assuming you have lucky as well, right? I don't know if he has lucky. Like I said, it's not lucky. It's something else.

It's a specific thing that he has. Lay it on me. Why you? We're friends here. We can talk. What is it? Thumb to the scales. It's a homebrew thing has. Lay it on me. Why you? We're friends here. We can talk. What is it? Thumb to the scales. It's a homebrew thing.

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You couldn't tell them to the scales, it's a very judicial thing. I don't know. Because he could tip the scales in whatever way he wants. Cheating. Anyway, so I did eight points of damage. Eight points of damage? I'm trying to think of any courtroom puns. Something about recess. Looks like you are courting trouble.

Oh! That was pretty good. That was pretty good. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That was really good. Yeah, it was OK. No, it was pretty solid. I'll give it like a C plus.

Question, for your honor. You may proceed. Were any of those reactions? No, it's not. That's why he can do it multiple times. Okay. Then that is my turn. All right.

Doug, you're up. I do a quick perception check to see, I don't know if we really like looked around this room very much. So could I see if there's anything else in there other than like the chests and stuff like that? Like any other doors or any other maybe like supplies, weapons? Good question. I remember those cannons were in here? So this room is rather large

and it has stone walls and floor with no windows, a high ceiling and it's lit by lanterns. There's metal double doors to the north, work benches on either side of that door. And there's wooden racks that line the room holding weapons, armor and shields. There's a cannon to the west and a balcony to the south with the chests

on it. And that's where you guys went and that's where 12 hit those chests. And are those metal doors open or closed? No, they are closed. Okay. Make me a... let's just call it a perception check, Doug. 20. Yeah, okay. Looking around the room you can see that in the racks of weapons each row carries different items. Martial weapons, leather armor, things like that. As far as the work benches, the one to the west has a furnace with an anvil. The cannon appears to be an iron cannon on wheels with a handful of cannonballs by it. On the balcony are the four chests you found and the lanterns are bronze lanterns that are lit around the room. One of which appears to be out.

One lantern is out. Yeah. I don't know what the significance of that is. What if we lit the lantern with the cannon? Is the I assume it's like a full sized cannon that's facing like is it just in the room facing inwards or is it like up against the west wall facing to the north, like it's being stored here. It is an armory. OK, true.

And what kind of weapons did you say were on the wall? You said like a bunch of different random ones. They're not on the wall. They're like within the racks that are throughout the room. There are martial weapons, different kinds of leather armor, shields, some fancy suits of armor. Okay, I'll say you recognize it. It's like officer armor.

Okay, so nothing like super magical, special, crazy, powerful. Do you have to detect magic? No. Super magical special crazy powerful. Do you have to take magic? No Barb had this look where it was like both like challenge accepted, but I don't know Okay, how close am I to tolls right now you stayed up by the chests tolv advanced 25 feet up to the magistrate who is 30 feet away? Hi Doug! Aw dang it.

Okay, I was gonna do something but you're a little too far away I think for me. I'm a little too scared to get that close to the magistrate. Understood. It's very intimidating. What if I walked back towards you? The magistrate looks at you Doug and says, Proceed to the bench! Uh, pass. No. No.

No. No. No. No. Um, OK, so am I close enough to touch either, um, Natti or Gunther currently? I'm next to you. Natti's right by you.

Gunther is also up where Toad is. Head egg. Hi, Natti. Listen, I just, you know, you're doing so great, and I want to help you do Guido. So I'm going to give you a little touch on the shoulder and cast guidance. Oh, so I touch a willing creature, which I assume is Natty. I'm very willing.

And once before the spell ends, the target can roll a D4 and add that number roll to one ability check of its choice. It can roll the die before or after making the ability check. Yeah, nice. The spell then ends after that. I am mildly familiar with guidance. All right, Nanny, I believe in you. And he touches her shoulder.

Oh my gosh, that's all I need in life. But he does like one of those like pats on the shoulder. Yeah, cute. Because Doug's not used to human contact. I've never related to Doug more in my life. And then that's it. Cool. Simple. All right. It is the magistrate's turn. Okay, the magistrate's in here. He's got Tollv and Gunther and Gigi in front of him. Bet you won't hit me. Here by the racks. Toll really wants to get hit for some reason. Ooh.

Ooh. Ooh. Ah. The magistrate looks at you, Toll, and says, motion denied. Oh, no. He stretches out a hand to the rack of weapons next to him and pulls it down, and there's an explosion with a giant puff of smoke and brimstone.

This guy going to get away a second time. Make a dexterity saving throw, 12, Gunther and Gigi. Okay. Gigi roll one. I have advantage on saving throws. Is it strength checks and saving throws or is it strength checks and just broadly saving throws? All strength checks and all saving Strength checks and saving throws so strength checks and all saving throws strength checks and strength saving throws

Later on you probably will get advantage on dexterity saving. Once you get Danger Sense, yeah. Well, it doesn't matter, because I rolled an 18 Dab on these haters! I rolled a 13. Alright, Gunther and Gigi, you begin coughing profusely with all the smoke in the area. All three of you have a difficult time seeing because of the smoke, but Tolf, you're not as... Like, it's not affecting you as much. Tolf, I'm sensing a pattern here. Also with the vent previously,

you were not affected by the gas there either. You weren't coughing at that either. He's used to his own gas. Yeah, I need to look into that. Weird, so strange. Because he farts a lot. With a similar poof, the magistrate reappears on the balcony where the smash chest is next to Doug.

Oh, is he stepped in the glue? No, he is not stuck in the glue. At this point the glue is hardened and is no longer tacky. He punches into the chest and pulls out an item. Oh, did what? Is there more glue? You already triggered the trap. It's done. So you happened to pick the chest that had the trap. Blaine's, Blaine's look. Blaine's look.

This was all going to be explained in his monologue which Natty interrupted with the blasting at the end of the episode, last episode, the start of this episode. He was looking for the thing and whatever, you don't know that. He smashes into the damaged chest and pulls out an item and he whispers, at last. What? Could I see what he's holding? Yeah, make an investigation check. I'm looking too. You too then. Can I look but I probably can't

because I'm all blinded. The smoke is preventing you from seeing. 18. 16. You both see what he has. What? It looks like scales of some kind, like balancing scales that are crafted from serpentine scales.

And they seem like they're shimmering and shifting in color. Like scales as in like they go back and forth kind of like weights? Yeah, exactly. Like the scales of justice? Exactly. And they're shimmering? Yeah, they're like shifting in color. Like you see them shifting between silver, green, and red, like just kind of all over.

Does Doug recognize these at all from all of his many wisdom studies? Make a history check, Doug. With pleasure. Dang it. Eleven. You don't know what this is specifically, but you can tell that this is an artifact of some kind and must be related to some kind of deity. Is that good enough?

Yeah, thank you. Okay. I mean, yeah, that's all you're gonna give me, so. Say no, say no, he'll give more. No, no, Doug looks harder. All of these important MacGuffins are just kind of laying around, you know. Laying around in the middle of a fort in the armory.

Hanging up above the door, hanging out in the chest next to the glue storage. You'd think Sergeant Steel Eye would be a little more honest with us that there were so many important pieces here and maybe have a little bit more protection. Well, this is the guy that built a military base on top of an old cave system where his enemy could come and kill. For the record, Jill Sergeant Steel Eye did not build the base. Well, I blame him. I hold him in dejected court. He's a cog in the wheel as well. He's just a part of this military, of the Mortallion. So now he has this item, and now what happens?

Yeah, and now that he's up here, he's gonna look at Natty, and he says, Oh, if you don't like monologues, then you definitely won't like the long sentence I'm going to give you. Nattie, shoot him! It's not Nattie's turn. You can't interrupt him this time. He pulls back with his mallet and takes a swing at you, Nattie. Bring it! Hitting AC...9.

Nope, that doesn't do it. I got low armor, but that's too low. Swing! He takes a second swing. No! Go doesn't do it. I got low armor, but that's too low. He takes a second swing. No. Go for it. Do it to me, I tell you. No, he's mad at Natty for interrupting his good monologue,

which was gonna explain everything. Hitting AC 12. Matches, so yeah, hit. Yeah, that's a hit. Okay, the hammer comes down, striking you, doing three points of bludgeoning damage. That's a one plus two, three. He really told you Natty.

Well, hold on. You need to make a wisdom saving throw too. Is there a breeze in here? Did you guys feel something? To be fair, he's holding this really awkwardly shaped scale thing in one arm while making attacks. I mean, if I were balancing groceries, I'd be bad at attacking too. 17.

All of making excuses. Just saying, an infinite of the doubt. For the enemy. Oh, I appreciate it. I like it. You feel almost like voices in your head, but you're able to shove them aside out of your mind. And they say,

Zombear, Zombear. In my head. And he turns to the magistrate and goes, is something supposed to be happening? Yes. Maddie, you are not the tank. Let me do the trash talking. What did you roll on your save again?

17. The magistrate puts it, you know, holds the scale up that he withdrew from the chest. And it begins glowing green. And he pushes down on one side of the scales and the whole scale begins turning red and your save actually decreases and becomes a seven.

Wow, this guy, his parents bought him the Game Genie. Yeah, he really does have one. So you take some psychic damage. Okay. You take seven points of psychic damage. Copy. He looks at you, Natty, and says, You may step down. Why don't you step Natty, and says, you may step down.

Why don't you step up and say it's my face? Oh, no. I think he just did. Stop. Oh, get him, Natty. 12, you're up. Oh, God. And then after 12 is Natty.

Just need to take a bullet for Natty now. 25 feet back in the other direction, I'm assuming. Yeah. Okay. Charge. I run, and then I take out my warhammer and I hit the magistrate you try to hit the magistrate you're right because the rule is seven gosh darn it it's won't die please anyone anyone I'm all just look at me dance look at, Gus. I think Blaine might be addicted to inspo's.

Yeah, I think your dancing is excellent. I just need a little hit. Just need a little something. That's a miss. Okay. Well, Storm Aura. You gain a 10 foot aura effect when you start your rage and as a bonus action on each of your turns

when one activated one creature of your choice in your aura takes lightning damage. Okay, so roll your check for the lightning damage. They rolled their decks? Yeah. Yeah. Oh, same page, same team. Okay. That's an eight plus one, nine. Okay, take lightning. Ka-chow!

That's a one. Love it. He just, this is this is what just happened. I'll sensibly, he just ran up and it's like, you know, when you like shuffle your feet along the carpet and he just touched the magistrate and gave him a little shock. Just a little shock. A little zap. Yeah, that's all he did. At the very least, can I body block the magistrate from Natty? You can try. Sure.

Okay, I do that. That's where I'll position myself. You insert yourself kind of between them. Yes. Hey, Dolph. Hello. All right. Natty, you're up. Then after Natty is Gunther. And you got guidance. Don't forget. Oh, thank you. Thank you for the reminder. Nattie lets out a loud whistle. And from that smoke cloud, a little Quasit comes running. Do you have to roll to see if he obeys? Ah, dang it. Oh, he got you there.

I rolled a seven, he doesn't obey. Oh no. Maybe he pops out for a moment just to show that he does acknowledge you and then one goes back in. I think what he would do is that, because I think we've turned around and now we're facing like the back, where, which way were we facing the original direction of the fight?

Where was this fight taking place in the room? He was north of you all to the north. Where the, like towards where the double doors are? Correct, like halfway up the room, not all the way to the doors, but yeah, in that direction. Then I think Gigi is going to get distracted and go check out the cannon. He thinks it's cool.

All right. Yeah, that's just a little further than Northwest. He climbs inside the cannon. Oh. And, and now he just turned and goes, kids. And as she turns around, she does a little, like a little toss of her hair and then brings the other hand around and goes for an Eldritch Blast at it.

Ooh. Uh, which is a 16. Yeah! That hits. Cool. Glad that one hits. Rolling four. Eldritch Blast damage!

Seven plus three is ten. Plus two Lightning, two Thunder two thunder damage so ten force two lightning two thunder Jesus to two Lenny quick thunder 12 total there ten force to thunder and necrotic sound like one of those Wall Street stock market brokers are saying they're ten two three three one three two three sell thunder thunder one necrotic damage the elders blast strikes the magistrate in the chest One, two, three, one, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, Guilty. You'll see. Guilty. And with that, he dies. Oh. Oh, we did it.

Go, Nattie. We can't do the thing where we incapacitate and don't kill? I think you normally have to call that ahead of time. I said that at the top. I think you have to be more intentional when you are actually attacking probably. Yeah. Oh, I didn't know I had to say each attack. Depending on what happens next, could Doug go run up and grab the scales? Yeah, it's right at your feet. Oh, he picks it up. Yeah, you pick it up. Take the one ring. It's Tate's consuming Doug. Doug holds

it up and goes, you guys know what this is? It seems pretty powerful. I don't know if I should be the one holding it. I'm a little scared of it, to be honest. Gunther charges out of the cloud screaming and then goes and stabs the magistrate. Double tap. Well, he didn't know you. He kind of missed some of that because he's in the cloud. He's ahead of his time again with the apps in the cloud. Gunther.

Don't forget to back up. with the apps in the cloud, Gunther. Don't forget to back up. Can Tolv search the magistrate for any other weapons or any other evidence as to who they are or what they're doing, documents? I don't know. Sure. You look through and on his person,

you find a wig that's torn. It looks like Colonel Boyie's hair that you remember from before. Mmm. Oh yeah. Oh, and of course the scale of scales, which Doug picked up. Can Gunther go look in the other chests? You said there were how many? Four. One of them was smashed, and that's where the Magistrate pulled out the scales.

I would suggest if you're gonna smash it, maybe stand to the side of the chest. Watch out for glue. Can Gunther go look at one of the others. Yeah what are you gonna do you're just gonna smash it? Well first can I see if it's unlocked? Yeah at the end of the last episode you all did look at all of the chests and they were all locked and I believe Nattie tried to see if her key would work to open them but I said it wasn't that kind of keyhole like it wouldn't even fit. okay yeah I guess I'll try and attack it just the end of the side guns oh yeah from us maybe from a side I know you

like glue but not in this alternatively say oh yeah hey baby I'll do this maybe I'll go into the smash chest and then jump up and like attack it and then duck back down into the smash chest can I I do that? Are they big enough for that gut? They're small, right? Yeah. Yeah, sure. Why not? Like, it's going to back up like against the wall.

Is everyone else just going to stand there and watch Gunther do this? No, backing up with Doug, actually. But there was something Natty wanted to do with magistrate. But I want to let Gunther do this. OK, I'll pick up the magistrate and use them as a human shield.

All right. I'm sure you're still staying there then. Yeah. And then I move them around and I say, I'm a dead body. This is kind of weird. This I shouldn't be doing this. I dropped them. For someone so worried about war crimes told seems real loosey goosey with with morality

right there. This guy, you know, this was the, what's it called? Rules of engagement. They attacked first. OK, Gunther, make me let's just say a dexterity check to see if you're able to like go out, strike it and hide back again in time. OK, make a saving throw for all six saves. Eight. Yeah, you pop out, strike at the chest,

but it's just such a weird complicated set of movements that you're not used to, that you, you know, your sword hangs on the chest as you try to get back into it and you get stuck just long enough for glue to come out and squirt all over you as well. Oh, sticky. I've been there. Sticky. Yeah. But delicious.

Mmm. But you do damage the chest and it is cracked. Okay. I need help. Let's see what's inside. Doug will walk over. Could I help Gunther get out of the glue somehow? Yeah.

Let's see. It just takes a little bit of time. You're able to help clear it off and free him up. Thank you. You're free. Do you want to look inside? I'm a little scared. Okay you're able to help clear it off and free him up. Thank you. You're free. Do you want to look inside? I'm a little scared. Okay.

Can I look inside? Yeah. You look inside and you see a wave bladed sword encrusted with water stones on the hilt. Wave bladed? Like what kind of sword? A wavy blade. Like a scimitar? No, I would say that's a curved blade. This is more like... Oh, like Ziggy.

Yeah, Ziggy. Ziggy and Zaggy. And what's on the hilt, you said? Water stones. Does it look in any way familiar or can I tell anything about it by picking it up? All right, you pick it up and make a history check. Ooh, 17. You're not familiar with this specific weapon, but you know it is obviously a fine quality and it is most likely some

type of enchanted weapon, especially if it's being held here in this chest. Is it Gunther sized? Yeah, what size is it? Is it Gunther sized or is it Toll sized? It's regular sized, but for a medium creature. So it's large for Gunther. It's not a finesse weapon. Correct.

Hmm. Too heavy. Can I take it over to the rest and say, like, it's a good blade? Sure. I think, team, maybe we should check the other two chests and make sure that there's any other weapons that are in there, probably desirable to the Undarians. So we need to protect them.

OK. So you guys to protect them. Okay. So you guys want to like disarm the last two chests and then we'll take whatever's inside for safekeeping. I have like so much hair on my body that I'm a little hesitant to get any glue on this. Okay. I feel that Doug. I have no hair.

You do not very good. Then I'll try it. Yeah. Do you want to try to do the same thing again? Yeah. You're the official glue ghetto chest open-o guy. You got it, Coonther! Yeah, make a dex check just to see if you're able to, uh, strike the chest and get out of the way again. Twenty!

Woo! Oh, yeah. You learned from your mistakes, and this time you're able to strike at the chest and hide yourself in the chest next to it. And the glue shoots out, covering the outside of the chest, but leaving you glue free. Yes. Good job, Gunther. What's in the chest? You look inside and you see a tubular instrument of some kind. Maybe like a blowpipe?

Tubular instrument that's like a blowpipe? Yeah. What's a blowpipe? It's like a used for directing air or gas or breath. So is it like a flute or is it like a trunk? I think maybe the word instrument was more of like tool. Oh, like a tool like for crafting. Like a metal instrument for.

Thank you. Thank you, Barbara. Yeah, not a musical instrument like a tool instrument. Oh, it's an enchanted PVC pipe, got it. Gunther's proficient with Smith's tools. Does it look like a blower for that? Yeah, you could absolutely use this to concentrate like a flame's heat.

Okay, and then I guess I'll hold that for now and then do another stabby duck if that's okay. Sure, so Doug has the scale, Gunther has the blowpipe. Who has the wavy sword? I guess I left it with the grove because it's too heavy for Gunther. I can hold on to it, but I don't, you know, not that I'm taking it. Others can use it if they want, but I'm just keeping. Yeah. Yeah.

Before you take it, could Doug just like look at and see if he recognizes this thing? Yeah. Knock yourself out. Sure. Go ahead. Yeah. Make a history check. I've read a lot of books on these types of things. He's got water stones so I could do some, oh never mind, you got it. So some things stand out to you Doug, especially with your artificer background. No. You see that this sword is also partially hollow. The blade itself is hollow and you think that it could hold fluid. Oh. Weird. But it is currently empty.

Okay. That's a weird sword. Yeah. That would just make it kind of like, like when you're using it, right? Like. Yeah. Interesting. Like, or perhaps.

Doug tells the team about his findings. Alright. Just so you know, this sword is hollow. I know it's very untypical as you know, you guys use swords all the time so you know, but I think that like maybe it could hold fluid or something like that, but there's nothing in there right now. So I don't want to test this out later. Maybe it's a bath toy.

Perhaps, or maybe we try to put some water in it and see if it does anything. You can finally convince Gigi to get in a bath. Yeah, with weapons. With his sword. Could I try the last chest? Yeah, for fun, make me a dexterity check. See if you're able to dodge out of the way of the glue. Let it rip.

Nat 20 for 24. Yeah, you just made a mistake that first time. Now you know able to dodge out of the way of the glue. Let her rip. Nat 20 for 24. You just made a mistake that first time. Now you know how to do it. You know how to strike and pull your sword back and stay out of the way of the chest. You smash open the fourth and final chest and inside you see a flail with two chain spike heads and a handle made from some kind of wood. Ooh, flail. It's like a mace on the end of chains. Yeah, all right. Okay, inspect it

and take it over to the group. Yeah, yeah, you take it over to the group and show them. And yeah, you all see the same thing. It's a flail with two chains, spiked heads and a wooden handle. As you all are inspecting the flail, the doors at the northern end of the armory burst open and Drill Sergeant Steel Eye storms into the room with several guards. BEATING! What's the meaning of this? What are you doing with those stolen relics? The points to the magistrate on the floor. They're not stolen, they are right here! They're not where they should be, they're supposed to be in the chests for safekeeping!

Did you steal them? How did you get in here? What are you doing? What's the meaning of that? Ahem. What's the meaning of this? You do not leave us on a cliffhanger, Sergeant! We'll have to see if our drill sergeant still believes that or not. Find out what happens to B-Team and their new best friend the Magistrate on the next episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon.

Did I say best friend? I meant accomplice. Find out in the next episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon. Did I say best friend? I meant accomplice. Find out in the next episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon. I smell a court, Marshall. You pop with the magistrate. The court is now in, wait, recession. What's it whenever you pause the court? Recession.

Back, back. No, whenever you pause the court. Recess? Recess. Recess. We got there. All right, Bye everyone. Membership, support the show, and receive access to our exclusive bonus series, Second Wind, and member-only Discord for their respective platforms. If you become a patron, you get your name shouted out, just like ScreamQueenB, Scott

Testarelli, It's a Small World, Joshua Andrew, and Gahoolian Gaming. These patrons directly support the show and get ad-free episodes, access to our Patreon-only Discord server, bonus content like Second Wind and behind the screen, and so much more. Again, that's StinkyDragonPod.com. We can't thank you enough for your support that lets us make this show. Want to thank some friends of ours who've already V.O. for characters in this episode like the magistrate named after David Katzer and voiced by Bruce Green at brucegreen on socials and Twitch. This week's arrow question was submitted by wizardpower700. This episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon was

produced by Ben Ernst, written, edited, and composed by Michael Reisinger with additional editing work by Katherine Arnold. Tune in next time for the thrilling episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon. Hey guys, here with Doug, it's on the one and two again, all by myself here in the room because I didn't have to go to the bathroom. Yeah, just hanging out here with me and Doug, looking around, just thinking about the reason for life and, you know, what's behind it all. Really deep thoughts Doug has from time to time.

Anyways, how you guys doing? Doing good out there? You enjoying your water? Stretch your legs? Good. Always take care of yourself. On second thought, Doug's gonna stretch his legs too. Over and out.

They've completely forgotten about their quest. Are you sure about these four? What do you see in them anyway? It's their destiny, old friend. We just need to remind them somehow. Well, you could send me. No, no, no. I don't think we're there quite yet. It has to be smaller. Something only they would recognize.

Something... ... they would recognize something I've got just the thing