Tales from the Stinky Dragon - C03 - Ep. 10 - Mission Through Middrus - Don't Axe, Don't Tell

Episode Date: February 5, 2025

Brutaliteam faces down with the Baron - surrounded by fiends and foes, can they rescue Pie A. LaMode? Support us directly on Patreon https://www.patreon.com/stinkydragon - get access to ad-free episodes, bonus content like Stinky Dragon Adventures & Second Wind, our patreon-exclusive discord, and more! Follow us on our socials at https://linktr.ee/TalesFromTheStinkyDragon Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Bagel? Bagel. Bagel? Bagel? Bagel. Bagel? Bagel. Gel?

Bagel? Bagel. Bagel? Bagel. No, wait. Bagel. Bagel. B-A-G-E-L.

Bagel. Bagel. Bagel. Bagel. Bagel. Bagel. Bagel. Bagel.

Bagel. Bagel. Bagel. Bagel. Bagel. Bagel, bagel, bagel, bagel, bagel, bagel, bagel, bagel, bagel, bagel, bagel, bagel, bagel, bagel, bagel, bagel, bagel, bagel, bagel, bagel, bagel, bagel, bagel, bagel, bagel, bagel, bagel, bagel, bagel, bagel, bagel, bagel, bagel, bagel, bagel, bagel, bagel, bagel, bagel, bagel, bagel, bagel, bagel, bagel, bagel, bagel, bagel, bagel, bagel, bagel, bagel, bagel, bagel, bagel, bagel, bagel, bagel, bagel, bagel, bagel, bagel, bagel, bagel, bagel, bagel, bagel, bagel, bagel, bagel, bagel, bagel, bagel, bagel, bagel, bagel, bagel, bagel, bagel, bagel, bagel, bagel, bagel, bagel, bagel, bagel, bagel, bagel, bagel, bagel, bagel, bagel, bagel, bagel, bagel, bagel, bagel, bagel, bagel, bagel, bagel, bagel, bagel, bagel, bagel, bagel, bagel, bagel, bagel, bagel, bagel, bagel, bagel, bagel, bagel, bagel, bagel, bagel, bagel, bagel, bagel, bagel, bagel, bagel, bagel, bagel, bagel, bagel, bagel, bagel, bagel, bagel, bagel, bagel, Today stands for Total Fund Savings Adventure. Maybe reach out to TD Direct Investing.

Clear your schedule for U-Time with a hand-crafted espresso beverage from Starbucks. Savor the new small and mighty Cortado. Cozy up with the familiar flavors of pistachio or shake up your mood with an iced brown sugar oat shaken espresso. Whatever you choose, your espresso will be handcrafted with care at Starbucks. Good evening all you arena. Burrow your way into the stinky dragon and coiff our latest cuppa, London Hedge Fog. It's a mixture of furl grey tea, quill milk, verminilla syrup, well

water, and topped with a scrounging of lavender. One splash of this spines tingling sauce, and you'll be saying, gotta go fast. Previously our adventurers were ganged up on by group and green thumbed goons, but after a ring around the gladiatorial garden, they brought the house down. Now they've fallen face to face with a fiendish foe named the Baron. Dry Hello everyone, welcome to Tales from the Stinky Dragon, episode number 10. We're in the double digits. They tried to stop us, but they couldn't. I'm your dungeon master Gustavo Cirola. I'm joined by four players.

I'm gonna hit them with an arrow. Yay! Whoop whoop whoop whoop whoop whoop. Who is trying to stop us? I'm your dungeon master Gustavo Sorola. I'm joined by four players. I'm gonna hit them with an arrow. Yay. Whip, whip, whip, whip, whip, whip. Who is trying to stop us? Yeah, you know, Big Rooster. That's gotta be a villain in a future campaign. I am Big Rooster.

Totally unrelated and we can cut this if it's deemed necessary. But we've been recording episodes of Anima. None of them have come out yet, but we have this recurring theme that Rooster Teeth was trying to stop us for years and now we're free and we can do what we want. Anyway, this week, the question is, who was your character's secret crush when they were younger

and did they let them know? If so, what was the result? Roll a D20. Oh, yeah, yeah. Remembering. I got 11. I got a full, full character sheet first. Okay, here we go.

I'm gonna just go with 11 as well. One, five. So Blaine and I both got 11? Yeah, let's roll off the D20 again. Roll off. Watch out, it's important. Six. 17.

Okay, so it goes, who got a 15? Five, I'm holding up my number. So it goes Chris. I got a one. No. So it goes, who got a fifteen? Five. I'm holding up my number. So it goes Chris. I got a one. Oh. So it goes Blaine. I think I won. Blaine.

Blaine. Barbara. John. Chris. This is my nightmare. All right. All right. First of all, hello.

Hello. I'm told you I have a few bones to pick. Okay. First of all, I thought I forgot the voice, but here we are. I rolled right into it. Someone said this recording to 945. We always do 10. I have been rushing like a madman all morning.

What was the arrow? Something about a crush? Who do you want to crush? Toll, I'm gonna give you a quick life hack here. I think it would be helpful if you look at your calendar the night before, then you can adequately plan in the morning and you're not rushing around all crazy. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait,

wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait,

wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, get up today? 930. It's warm in my bed. It's cold outside. It's wet. I got up at 930. No, I got up at nine because I thought we were recording at 930. Are you all children? Yeah. Listen, what you gotta do is look at your calendar two weeks in advance, make a schedule, plan it out, you know, do the math equations for how long you gotta sleep, when you gotta get up, when you gotta ask your girlfriend if you're a schedule, plan it out, you know, do the math equations for how long you got to sleep, when you got to get up, when you got to ask your girlfriend if you're your dog,

you know, you plan all these things ahead. You who I'm 12. Doug, are you me? Hey guys, that's my secret. This whole time I've just been role playing you. That sounds very familiar to me. Okay, the question, let me re-read the question here for Mr. Tolv. Who was your character's secret crush when they were younger? Did they let them know? And if so, what was their result?

And that was sent by Diedrich. I don't think I said that before. Yeah. So, Yoohoo, I'm Tolv. Sorry about the rough introduction. Let's get into this. It's okay. It's okay.

Yes. Tolv did have one crush, you know, as a bit of a sailor, a seaman going from port to port. You know, at one point, I went to a harbor town. And I went into a bar where a woman was laying whiskey down. And all the sailors they say, you know, Brandy, you'd be a fine girl. You know what a good wife you would be, you know, but my life, my love and my lady is the sea. That wasn't an ABBA reference. They did a cover of this song, okay.

You're confined to ABBA references. I'm in ABBA jail. Okay, I'm going toBA Jail. I'm going to be so real with you right now. I heard that in a song and I thought it would be funny. I think that was an old sea shanty. Yeah, yeah. No, I don't know.

Tov has not experienced much love in his life. I said from the love of his fellow crew members, and that's more of a, uh, platonic love. Yeah, no, you know, my, my options are open, you know, if we, if we find someone on this adventure, okay. I mean, let's not get ahead of ourselves. We're talking about the past. We're talking about, you know, in the past, that sounds like toll is setting up a dating profile. That sounds like told us setting up a dating profile. No, no, no, no. Let me, let me.

I'm a, I'm an eligible bachelor. So, you know, my name is told by blonde. I'm about seven foot two. My hobbies include sailing, tying knots, hitting things with a hammer. Sounds like a handyman. Hit me up. You'll find your love someday. I'm hoping to. Toldll is just, you who?

Are you at? You up? Well, thanks, Toll. I think that was very insightful. And kids, if you don't get that song reference, go ask your parents or your grandparents at this point. We just, just to date this podcast a little bit, we recently put out the Spotify wrapped details, like all the different stats and demographics about our podcast. And we noticed

that the 55 and up age range is 1% of our listeners. And so I want to start a petition to get everyone who listens to the show to get their mom, dad, or grandparents to listen, depending on age. I've been trying that from the start. I've been petitioning for grandmas from the beginning. And so I'm actually going to take credit for that 1%. That's what I'm going to do. They will get our references that age range. My other favorite demographic, a little tidbit fact is every time we put out new merch, someone from Norway really likes our store and it must be the time is set up there. It's always like, cause I see it on the back end of the store, top countries that are buying things for today. And Norway

always shoots up there. And then it slowly gets pushed down by America and England and all those other kinds of things. But there's someone who I'm really appreciative of in Norway. He's the president of Norway. I'm going to do a quick plug for our Discord here. I know who that is. I've seen them in Discord. If you'd like to join our Discord or communicate with someone from Norway who loves our store, go to stinkydragonpod.com. And us. Sign up for Patreon and you get Discord access not only to us, but to someone from Norway.

I'm loving this Norwegian. That's I gotta say. Yeah shut out. Barbara introduce us to Doug. Hello I'm Barbara Dunkelman and I play Doug Boone the artifice or bugbear currently at level 3 and let's see Doug Doug's questions. You know it's kind of awkward because Doug, when he was younger, grew up just like in his clan, like in his area. So like having a crush on someone is kind of, it's almost like having a crush on like your sister, which is kind of weird. But there was, there was this one girl named Rosemary. She was, you know, about a foot taller than Doug, very strong and, and made Gus feel,

oops, not Gus, made Doug feel some kind of way. So Gus and Doug are similar names. They're very similar. Did you ever tell her? Oh no, no, no, no, no, no, no no no no absolutely not I would never that secret other than telling all of you right now has stayed locked away in Doug's heart for a very long time. Well it's in the past. Where is Rosemary now?

I mean she might still be traveling with them but I don't know I haven't seen them in many years. Oh Doug Lord just dropped you clan travels. You know, time to time they're typically in one location but every now and then they go out on a hunt and you know, do their thing, do their buggo thing. Vacation. They're like, they're like always on the look they're like the fantasy equivalent to like people who go to open houses and look at houses for sale, not necessarily intending to move, but they find the right one.

They're like, ooh, this is nice. We're going to see if we can make this happen. Put in an offer. Yeah, that was really enlightening, Doug. Thank you. Thanks for sharing. If everyone who heard that little secret could just keep it to themselves not telling anybody. We're in a circle of trust.

Yeah. So go twice with all of all this knows as well. Yeah. And even in Norway. Big circle. Your microphone's working, right Doug? We got that. The circle of trust is the globe. Yeah.

That's the circle. Who's up? John, I believe, Natty, I think. Yeah. Hi, I'm John Reisinger and I play Natty Wonder, who is a Drow Elf Warlock. And, god, crushes, I mean, of course I had. I had crushes.

I reckon almost everybody must have a crush at some point or is hoping to have one. I had, honestly, I had a lot of crushes when I was young. And in fact, I used to, I'd write a song about every crush that I had. And the funny thing is, is that actually my first album that I ever released was all just names of boys I liked, was all the song titles.

The album was called, Howdy Y'all, Well I'm Natty. And- Howdy y'all, well I'm Natty. You know, the funny thing is, is I can't, I can't remember which was my first crush, but I mean, it's gotta be one of the titles of that first album. There was, uh, Johnny Jason, Willie Wayland, Sturgill, Steve Garth, Tim Tyler, and the other Tyler.

Oh yeah. Oh. Um, so one of them. Wait, junior or senior? Of what? Uh, uh. Tyler? I know what, I know which one of them. Wait, junior or senior? Of what? Tidal? I know which one he means. It's not Whalen. It's...

Never mind. There's a country singer. I think it was Hank. Hank Williams Jr. Hank Williams Sr. My God. Sorry. That's it. Hey, shout out to our age 55 and up demographic! I mean, you're keeping it real. Represent him. Join me.

And I mean, another fun little natty fact is that the album did so good that people, I think people started being nice to me just so I'd have a crush on them and I'd write a song about them. So, but yeah, I had lots of crushes and I told them all. Toll was in the back of the room saying,

please, Jolene. Please, Jolene. I did it. No. Nanny, you don't have to have a question on me, but what would a song about Doug be called? Oh, gosh. I haven't even started writing songs about y'all. I suppose I should get on that at some point. That is this campaign's new theme song. That's what we do.

But yeah, that's my answer. Micah just wrote great. Hey, new character songs all performed by John as Nanny. Thank you John for offering. Happy to. Gunther, why don't you step up to the mic. Yeah, hello, I'm Chris Gunther, the level three fighter croak folks or frog. When I first heard this question at first, I thought I had crushed many bugs, but then I understood that you speak of love.

And I can say this, the one that got away. Oh, my wife. Oh, because I was a little bit of a wimp. I was a little bit of a wimp. I say this, the one that got away. Oh. My wife. Oh. Because I'm not there anymore.

Gunther lore. So that would be my first crush. Did you abandon your wife? No, yes. Did she know, like, or did you leave her a letter? Did you talk about it? Yes, she knows. Oh, but you guys are still married, Did you talk about it? Yes, she knows. Oh, but you guys are still married, right?

You didn't break up, right? Yes, she's still my wife. I'm just not there. Is she looking after all the kids by herself, like single mother style? Cause that's tough. That's tough life. That's a D&D adventure on its own. Right. So many tasks and so many side quests. Soccer practice., I feel sadness I'm not sure Gunther knows what the phrase the one that got away means

It is where I'm not there technically you're the one that got away So I got away yeah, okay do we need to like take you back home Gunther? Are you lost? No, I'm not lost. Where are you? What? So Gunther. Yes.

There's always so many threads to pull whenever you start talking and there's so many, every answer yields like three more questions. Oh, yeah. So you're, you're an enigma. We're going to figure out what's going on with you at some point. and there's so many, every answer yields like three more questions. Oh, yeah. So you're, you're an enigma.

We're going to figure out what's going on with you at some point, Gunther. You would hit me with an arrow. Yes, I will. He already knows your game. The next arrow just needs to be, how old are you? Secrets. How old do Krogfolk live? Like what's's average lifespan?

Well, it's a made up class. I mean, I'm a made up race. I say made up custom. So I think we talked about like normal. I don't know. I don't remember. Micah! Help us.

All right. That's a it was good. A lot of great information here. I'm eating an uncrustable. I see it. It's good. Didn't air fry it, huh? It's actually kind of frozen. It's when the peanut butter is nice. Oh, my God. Gus is addicted.

Hey, if anyone listens to this and has a connection with Smuckers, please get us in touch because we've gotten Gus hooked. I ate two before we started recording. I'm sad. I love these things. Oh, my God. they got so many calories. But we love you, Smokers. Um, okay. I weak at it. Oh, she doesn't like that.

She looks at you and says, If I'm going down, you are too. Uh oh. You can try. Hominous. She turns around and strikes the wall behind her. And the whole building begins collapsing all around you. Big pieces of lumber and the wall fall down, begin knocking holes in the ground beneath you,

and the whole ground begins to shake and eventually collapses. Dang it! You all fall into a dark cavern below. You see four obelisks made of petrified wood glowing with fiendish runes, and you hear a boisterous yet posh voice say, I fell this forest to its knees. And so shall you. All shall tremble before the Baron.

What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What?

What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? I'm not sure if we think we rolled for initiative, but I'm not sure if we did this is the Baron similar to the fancy like Cyclops demon guy that was all judged out. Give me his name. I'll give you an inspiration die. Magistrate. All right.

It's just great. Go ahead and go. Hey, high five. We're going to split that inspiration. Of course, of course. We didn't get an inspiration. Did I? Yeah. He's going to go, Hey, high five. We're going to split that in four. Of course, of course. We didn't get an inspiration day, did I?

Yeah, I said if you had it. Wow. I mean, this is also a demon slash devil. Does not look like the magistrate. Let me read the intro just because there is a description there. OK. After you all follow the dust settles and there's a glow from runes dimly illuminating a wood elf lying on the floor amongst the obelisks. Her flannel petticoat and face are bloodied and her bubblegum hair is torn.

An immense figure steps over the elf. It's a hairy devil with brawny muscles and sprawling horns. Her armor resembles the look of the petrified wood obelisks with matching runes. At the sight of the devil, the elf begins to whimper and limply shuffle away on the floor. The devil lifts her tree trunk sized hands and the four obelisks rise into the air. She slams her fists into the floor and the obelisks follow suit with a WAM! A wave of force discharges from the glowing obelisks, quaking the cavern and your knees.

The elf freezes in place like a statue lying on the ground. Still breathing but motionless. The devil looks down at the elf. Ugh, this one proved to know nothing. And she looks up at you all. But perhaps you will prove to be more valuable. Huna, Gregor, whoever brings me these intruders will have Kyo's share of the silver. The two gardeners rise from the rubble, look down at their lifeless companion

and immediately charge after you all. That's the gardeners? Yes. Okay, and we murdered one of the three? Yes. The Baron is the one who was lifting the obelisks? Yeah, not physically, but it seemed like, yeah, it was controlling them to go up and then down.

Okay. Guys, who should we attack first? The giant hairy demon with flying orbs that they can control with their mind or the two people with the little hand trowels with, you know, and get nice little gardening gloves on. I should have also mentioned that along with you guys and the gardeners were a couple of the corpses of those demons that you dispatched upstairs during your fight.

And we're with our team and then private parts is us too, right? Correct. Go get them private parts. Pipe of place you will have to debail in. Why doesn't everyone roll the initiative just so we know where everyone is? Sure.

This is a new fight from the one we were previously in whenever the floor collapsed. Correct fresh 29 drop in 18 15 you said orbs did you mean obelisks yeah okay just check toll footer obelisks obelisks use an L O-B-E-L-I-O-B-L-I-O-B-L-I-O-B-L-I-O-B-L-I-O-B-L-I-O-B-L-I-O-B-L-I-O-B-L-I-O-B-L-I-O-B-L-I-O-B-L-I-O-B-L-I-O-B-L-I-O-B-L-I-O-B-L-I-O-B-L-I-O-B-L-I-O-B-L-I-O-B-L-I-O-B-L-I-O-B-L-I-O-B-L-I-O-B-L-I-O-B-L-I-O-B-L-I-O-B-L-I-O-B-L-I-O-B-L-I-O-B-L-I-O-B-L-I-O-B-L-I-O-B-L-I-O-B-L-I-O-B-L-I-O-B-L-I-O-B-L-I-O-B-L-I-O-B-L-I-O-B-L-I-O-B-L-I-O-B-L-I-O-B-L-I-O-B-L-I-O-B-L-I-O-B-L-I-O-B-L-I-O-B-L-I-O-B-L-I-O-B-L-I-O-B-L-I-O-B-L-I-O-B-L-I-O-B-L-I To be more specific, is a tall slender tapered monument with four sides and a pure middle top. Yeah, and they make monkeys go, WAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH Exactly. Yeah. Doug, I think you're a little closer.

It's almost like Doug might be reading a Wikipedia page. No, this is just Doug reading from the inside of his mind, all the knowledge he's collected. In his mind, Pallas. It'd be weird if you could read your mind like a book, wouldn't it? We've established in Stinky Dragon Lore that Barbara doesn't have an inner monologue voice. So maybe that's how it is. It's all like text. That's not lore.

That's just Barbara does not have an inner monologue. Yeah. Yeah, but it's like lore to the people that listen. I don't know. It's just me being... It's like one of two people. The. I don't know. It's just me being. It's like one of two people. The people who have an inner monologue and people who don't. It's like the same thing where it's like people who stand up to wipe and people who sit down

to wipe. Let's not start that one again. People who like cilantro and don't like cilantro. But that's Blaine Lord. I love cilantro. So good. Yum yum. I just wanted to be the anytime we...

Christ. I want to like anytime we have something like a fact about our lives, we just call it lore in the Steamy Dragon Realm, you know? It's just reality, dude. No, no. Legend has it Blaine Taurus bicep. I think literally the etymology of lore is something made up. No. Okay.

I've got all my initiatives set up here and just a point of clarity for me. Doug, you still have Gambot deployed at this point, correct? Correct. OK, then Gambot goes on your turn. I think he goes right after me on my turn. Right. Or does it matter? Probably doesn't matter. He goes on your turn. Like if you want to have Gambotot go before you, you can. So I'm going to give an initiative overview here and then I'll update you guys as we go.

First up, we have Doug with a 20, Tov with an 18, Private Parts with a 17, one of the Gardeners with a 16, Gunther with a 15, the Baron with a 14, Natty with a 9, and the other Gardener with an 8. Sounds good. Okie dokey. Meanwhile, we have a moment of pause, you know, stinky dragon Lord Gustas loves Uncrustables. So good.

Gimme, not the grape ones though, just strawberry. I love the grape ones. I know, I figured as much because you talked about getting them at Costco and Costco only carries the grape ones. Gustas has done research. That's very specific, Concrustible's facts. Okay.

So we're going to start off here with Doug. Doug, before you're able to act, the Baron screams. And it's so loud, you all have to cover your ears. And a swarm of those small flying demons fly out from holes in the ground and begin surrounding you guys. They just popped out of the ground. How did we kill those last time? Physical damage.

Not fire. Yeah, not fire. That is correct. At one point, Tov put his cape over the hole to block mist so maybe I could put my shield on the hole and like stand on it. I feel like that's gonna be like Game of Whack-a-mo. Or like 1080 snowboarding because I'll be like stand on it. You like that's going to be like a game of whack-a-mole or like 1080 snowboarding because I'll be like surfing on my snowboard. All right, Doug, you are up.

OK, the gardeners running towards us. Could I take aim at one of them with my crossbow? Sure. What were their names? The two that are remaining are Greg and Huna. Sure. What were their names? The two that are remaining are Greggo and Hunna. Hunna is the one that had the smoking pickaxe. Okay.

I'll do that Hunna. Okay. I'm guessing this doesn't hit, but that's a nine. No, that does not. Yeah, Doug, fire your crossbow, but the shot flies wide. Can I give an inspiration die? Absolutely. Go ahead, take another shot.

Oh, wow, thanks. I wouldn't have gotten it had you not answered the question with John. 12. That worked? No, that is not him. Give it back. I know.

You know what? Screw it, you can have mine too. Does that happen? I don't know, but let's say yes. Sun cost fallacy. Oh my God. Yeah, let's do it. oh my god yeah okay 17 yeah okay we got it teamwork I maybe think that's a miss check yeah that's a mess these gardeners what are they gardening it's almost like they're not really gardeners or something

hmm God dinners well that's annoying. Alright, well. Well, we got info. We got data. We know these guys are stacked. Yeah. I guess, uh, could I then move right behind my Steel Defender? Yes. He's so much smaller than you.

I know. Oh, Gambot. Gambot save us. Gambot. Yeah, that's all I could do then. Okay. But what about Gambot? Well, I have a question.

How close are they to Gambot right now? They're probably, let's call it 15 feet away. Okay, then Gambot will move up 10 feet towards the nearest enemy. Okay. And then he will try his force-empowered rend. Ooh, that sounds powerful. Which is a melee weapon attack. So it's a plus six to hit and he's

not going to get it because it was a four so plus six is ten. Not good rolls today. You do your best Gambot. Gambot you know that was a good try buddy. Come back to me. And he just steps back towards Doug another 10 feet. Does Gambot talk? No I talk through him though. What is the range on Gambot talk? No, I talk through him though. Oh. What is the range on Gambot's rend? Is that like a five foot reach? Five feet, yeah. So then if Gambot comes back to you, that would proc an Attack of Opportunity from Huna. Oh, he would. Okay, he'll stay there then. Okay. So Gambot moves up 10 feet and stays there, kind of threatening Huna.

Yeah. Alright. That it? Yeah. Okay. It normally would be Toll's turn, but since those devils flew out, two of them are going to go right now. threatening Hanna. Yeah. All right. That it? Yeah. Okay. It normally would be Toll's turn, but since those devils flew out, two of them are going to go right now. And they begin flying around and they're going to try to swipe at Gambot since Gambot came

out and tried to hit Hanna. This is sad. Yeah. This is first fight. If you hoy him, it'll be okay. parka. A ticket to somewhere you don't need a fancy parka. Or just be responsible and top up your retirement fund. Plus, move any other eligible account and we'll give you a 1% match. Minimum $15,000 transfer. Register by March 15th. Additional terms apply. Learn more at Wealthsimple.com slash match.

What? We love Gambot, protect its own cause. All right. They begin. Oh, this might have this that might actually not have been good for me. We'll find out when we get there. All right. The two of them begin trying to bite at Gambot. Have Gambot make two Constitution saving throws. OK. OK, we just roll the D20 twice and we'll figure it out from there. Okay.

Double-double, seven and a 15. So total of 22. Okay. It looks like he has a plus four on that. So that's an 11 and a 19, which yeah, that is successful. You needed an 11. So the bytes actually do nothing. Yay!

Gambot is able to shake them off. Maybe it's his steel exterior. He doesn't have arms. But somehow you could tell that he's standing up straighter and taller even though he's very small. All right, 12. It's your turn then after 12 is private parts and a couple of those demons. Okay, tell me again about the surroundings. Are there any like, you know, beams holding up like,

like load bearing beams or explosive barrels? So this is a pretty dark cavern and you look around and you see veins of silver ore in the walls. It's almost like a rough rectangle kind of oblong room. You all are in the Southern portion of it. And it goes out to the north from where you are. A little north of you is those obelisks, then beyond that appear to be some piles of silver. I'm going to deal with your immediate area directly around you, because I assume that's what you're going to focus on.

Where you are, there's stacks of lumber and piles of rock on the ground and deep holes that appear to be left over from mining excavations. Okay. And then with the obelisks, do I recognize the runes that are written on the obelisks that the Baron is using? Yeah.

So you look up to the center of the room and you see four obelisks that appear to be made of petrified wood that are illuminated with runes. And just to reiterate, in the middle of the four obelisks is a female wood elf with curly bubblegum hair wearing flannel petticoat. And the illuminated rooms orbit each of the four obelisks slowly, and they appear to be identical on each obelisk and they're written in under common. I do understand under common. I don't think I do, probably not. Under common, like what is that?

Is that just a variation of common, but it's a different language? Right, exactly. Entirely, okay. Yeah. Okay, okay, cool. I'm gonna take some, I'm gonna go, first of all, you who I'm tall, I'm gonna rage.

Ha ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha ha ha. First and foremost, I'm gonna ping that, that's my bonus action. Am I close enough to the obelisk, like the obelisk in the elf, in the middle of the obelisks to make my movement or is it too far away?

Let's see. The obelisks are probably like 25 feet away from where you are. Okay. I'm gonna head to the closest obelisk. It's two on the north side and two on the south side, so when you approach there's two. There's like one to the west and one to the east. They're about the same distance from you. Okay, I'll take the southwest one. Okay, hopefully I get some bonus miles and then I'm going to swipe at it with my war hammer. The funny thing is as you start to get closer, you feel like you become heavier and heavier

and it's harder and harder to move. As he gets closer to the obelisk? Yeah. It's a gravitational field. Do I recognize the sensation? Yeah, it's after you eat a big meal. Oh. You don't recognize the sensation? Yeah, it's after you eat a big meal. Oh! You don't recognize the sensation necessarily,

but you feel almost like you're slower in general. From a metagame perspective, your movement speed is halved once you start getting closer to the obelisks. I have a walking speed of 30. Does that cancel out? Because it's 25th away. It's 25 away, so then you get... I'm doing some quick math in my head. You're not able to get the entire distance. It's like, oh, once you're about halfway to the obelisk is when it starts.

So then you only get three, about three fourths of the way to the obelisk before you're out of your, your movement. Okay. So you're still, if you do your maximum movement, you're still 10 feet away or so from the obelisk. Okay. So you're still, if you do your maximum movement, you're still 10 feet away or so from the obelisk. Okay. Then I'm going to try to throw a javelin at one of the obelisks.

I was thinking about double moving, but I want to get something done. All right, go for it. I was also wondering, Gus, since he was raging at the end of the last battle and we immediately went into another battle, would he still be raging? Oh, the council of barbarians has convened someone has lifted

Councilman gum gum you have something to say. Yeah, that's a that's a good question Whoa, who is that? Boi-da-boi-da Whoa, get back get back You're not allowed here Councilwoman Elga starts on the matter! You know, I'm just watching from afar. I'm not getting into balls at all. I'm here just observing. Thank you fellow councilmembers. You're not supposed to be here. Get back to the van, Spy.

Okay, I'll say yeah, we'll say your rage would have continued. That you wouldn't need to reprock it. The chair recognizes the point by gum gum Thank you council member gum gum You're welcome Okay now get out of here for real Okay gum gum let's go continue to go play make believe up above in the trees Goodbye council lady Elga say hello to uh oh god what's his name? No one tell him

No Boris All right, you two get out of here Okay, so are you still making that javelin attack? I'm sorry I got distracted by those two knuckleheads No, because of those those lovely council members. I have unclicked my rage, so I have that back. And you have your bonus action. Oh my God, oh my God! Council member, come, come, come, thank you! I'm gonna use my javelin, so I'm gonna roll for that.

Oh no, that's a six. I mean, they don't have very high AC because they're just stupid little obelisks, right? Yeah, but six is a pretty bad roll, Tove. That's not gonna hit. Okay, well then, let's see what my books are. Sorry, I used your inspiration. It's okay, it's okay.

Don't worry about it, it's chill. Storm aura, you get a 10 foot aura effect. Am I within 10 feet of this thing? Yeah, I think I said 10 feet. Yeah, I think I did, yeah, yeah, yeah. When activated, one creature of your choice in your aura takes lightning damage So I'm gonna try to use my storm or uh the sea is that am I able to do that?

Yeah, it's a bonus action. It was just one creature of your choice takes lightning damage, but I mean we'll go with it Yes, and oh, thank you. Yes D6 rolling that's a two. Alright two points of damage. I say ka-chow. 12 points at one of the obelisks and very quietly under his breath says ka-chow and his aura of lightning reaches out or extends out and hits the obelisk doing two points of damage.

I just want to point out four creatures have now taken their turns and what we have resulted in is about like the equivalent of like a static shock on the wooden obelisk. That's all that's happened so far. No one has been able to accomplish any damage otherwise. It's fantastic. I'm sorry. No, I'm saying everybody, everybody, even the, even those demons that were trying to attack Gambot, it's just like everyone's whiffing

He was very brave Yeah, he stood his ground this does feel like a bit of a middle school dance just kind of All right, is that it for you toll Tolf? Yeah. The only other thing, do I notice it have any effects after having hit it? It seems like the, you know, when the lightning hits the obelisk, like the runes scramble a little bit and then reform and continue spinning.

Okay. Did the guy who's controlling him, does he react? And his name was? Well, it's not a guy. Yeah. Her name was? Yeah. It's not Greggo. It's not Hannah. It's? Well, it's not a guy. Yeah, her name was? Yeah. It's not Greggo. It's not Hannah.

It's not Gus. It's not Chris. It's not Barbara. Those are all the names I know. It's not Greggo. It's not Hannah. It's you. I don't know.

The Baron. The Baron. It doesn't seem like she particularly notices, no. Like, is she so focused on you guys? It's Private Parts turn. Private Parts is going to do what he does best and he's going to try to offer assistance. And who's he gonna give assistance to?

He's gonna get close to you, Gunther. Okay. And say, whatever you wanna do, don't worry. I'll cover you. Thank you. MetaGame perspective, you are the recipient of the help action. So you get advantage on your next attack. Okay.

Nice. Okay, that's it for private parts and it's more demon turn. These two are going to focus on Toll, because Toll, you were doing something they didn't like. So Toll, make me two Constitution saving throws. Okie dokie. That saving throws. Okay, okay. That's 15. That's success.

And a 20. That's a success. Curses. These things are worthless. All right. That's it for them. Hey look, I gotta try. You know, they showed up.

They gotta take the shot. I feel kind of bad. You know, emotionally it hurts that you guys ganged up on me. Does that help? Does that make you feel better? But isn't there like a c super high no there is he's kind of garbage i'm sure you guys are gonna do great i'm sure you guys are gonna win it's it's cool keep chins up everybody all right it's uh one of the gardeners turns by process of elimination you know this is uh grego

12 is over there gambots over's over there. He's gonna go after Gambot because Gambot is threatening Hana. I mean he's not that threatening, he's pretty small. He gets little. He's smiling. I spit on my screen. Smile. He has a Warpick in his hands and he goes up to try to smash uh gambot with his war pick this is a plus

four to hit that's a 20 16 plus four 20 yeah all right he brings the war pick down doing three points of damage okay real low scoring game you know know? Yeah, it's a real crowd-pleaser. What is this, Sokka? I don't understand sports, but it made me laugh. And I guess that's all he's gonna do. That means it is Gunther's turn, and after Gunther is the Baron. And where's the Baron in relation to Gunther, exactly? The Baron is further up, closer to the obelisks in the center of the Baron. And where's the Baron in relation to Gunther exactly? The Baron is further up closer

to the obelisks in the center of the room. And Gunther, the entire party fell and is in like in the southern portion of the room. To the north of them is the obelisks and then beyond them is, I said like some bones and treasure. Okay Baron being in the center of the four obelisks so like to get to the Baron I have to go over the obelisks, is that correct? I don't know if I'd say over, I'd say by them. Because are they spinning around him or are they just kind of hovering in place? The runes are spinning around them. Oh, this is two different things. The runes are spinning around Obelisks, which are stationary. Oh, oh, I think they were like spinning, like flailing. Yeah, the Baron had lifted them up and then slammed them into the ground earlier.

And then the monkeys. Okay, so could I get to the Baron in my turn? The obelisks themselves are about 25 feet away. Then she is probably another, let's call it 10 feet beyond that. So she's probably a total of 35 feet away. Guta, keep in mind that you do take half speed once you get to a certain point. Yeah. Okay. Alright, cause you slow down.

Yeah. Unless you double move. I feel heavy. Unless I range stuff. I want to try and do this. I want to move forward to about where the slowdown begins, you know? Okay. And then I want to try and standing leap where I go 25 feet high. Or sorry, 15 feet high and try

and like, because it's a 15 foot radius that slows you down. So I'm trying to jump over it if I can. Can I do that? So you're jumping 15 feet high and then how far for long jump is up to 25 feet and your high jump is up to 15 feet with or without a running start. So I'm trying to like jump over the slow down period. I guess I have a question. Is that jump, if I jump, is it maxed out

at my movement speed or can I jump past my movement speed? Does that make sense? So are you look, are these special moves specific to Gunther or are you asking about jump in general? Okay. Well, oh, I guess the standing leap for Gunther or the ability. Good opportunity for fan art,

maybe like the Air Jordan logo, but with the frog. Just ribbit. John, John, merchandise, John. Yeah, we totally would get away with making Air Jordan references in Nike parody. I'm sure they wouldn't mind. We can send them an email, perhaps, a letter.

Air Gunther. Ergunther. We did get a notice from our fulfillment office saying that with what we have been able to do so far with the store, we have surpassed what Nike sold in its first year of business. Wow. So it's a fun little fact. I'm sure Nike didn't sell very much in their first year. They sold two shoes. That's what I'm saying. It's like their first year as a business. But, uh, I thought that was a very silly little thing they said. So, uh, did a little bit of a reading up on it and it seems like your standing

leap is considered part of your movement total. So it, it does eat into that because otherwise then people would break that rule by just jumping all the time and never actually moving. Yeah, okay. So based on what you know you can move about 10 feet closer to the obelisks before that slowdown starts. So you want to move up 10 feet and then try to jump the remainder of your movement? Yeah and I guess I'll just land because that's where the obelisk is anyway so I'll just try and land right in the center of the obelisk so I can attack it like on the other side. Okay. I tried to jump over the slow down so I land within attacking distance.

Okay, so your movement is 25 feet. So if you moved up 10 that would leave you 15 for your leap and then you want to try to use that 15 to leap over and then get to the Obelisk that way. Yeah, so I can get within striking distance. Gotcha. All right, so yeah, you move up to 10 feet and, you know, prepare yourself for a standing leap and jump in the air. And when you jump in the air, the same thing seems to happen to you. It's it's almost like your gravity has more effect or your weight down more.

And rather than getting the full 15 feet of a jump, you're only able to jump forward about seven or eight feet. That's small. I was trying to jump like over. Mike and I were having a side conversation. Like we don't know why you thought of the slow as like a 2D flat thing. It's an aura. Yeah, yeah.

That's what I was thinking. Like where I get to the edge of it, I jump and then I just, it starts when I fall down into it. Does that make sense? Yeah, but it's, it's like an aura. It's a three-dimensional space. Hey, Gunther, Council of Fighters.

It's me, Kyborg. Do a back flip. Do a barrel flip. So you jumped. Kyborg, Do a backflip, do a barrel roll. So you jump, Kyborg, why is everyone walking in here today? Could all these characters help us in this battle? I think inadvertently, it's the experiences we've learned with all of them. So you jump and you end up more or less at about the same place where Tollv is.

You're just a little bit behind him actually. I think Tolev's movement is more than yours. Tolev's movement is 30, yeah. So it's higher than 15 feet, the radius of the slow down? So I'm just trying to picture what you're talking about here. There's two different things here, like a high jump or like a standing leap. So it's like your movement is either going vertically

or horizontally. If you're trying to move 15 feet horizontally, you're not also going 15 feet vertically. Oh, I thought I was. Right, again, it's our friend the hypotenuse. You're going at an angle, go forward to try to make the 15 feet of horizontal movement. It's our friend the hypotenuse. Okay, sorry, I misunderstood how the jumping worked. Yeah, because there's two jumps. There's a high jump to go vertically, and then like a leap or a long jump to go horse-on. It's just like in the Olympics,

the dudes who jump over the bar or the dudes who jump really far into the sand. Okay. So you can high five 12 if you want, you're in high five distance. Well then I'm gonna, I guess I'll throw a hand axe. Okay. This goes right in his back.

Who's your target? I'm gonna try the, what's his name? The Baron. I'm gonna throw at the Baron. What's her name? What's her name? Baron. Yeah, you pull out your hand axe

and take aim at the Baron and let it fly, hitting AC. Ba ba ba. Oh no. Eight. Yeah, you let your hand axe fly and the Baron just watches it as it flies by her. What a waste of everything. All right.

Listen guys, let's just call it. I mean, we're all doing terrible today. I think this isn't going anywhere. This episode's not bad. Yeah. All right, I end my turn in shame. In shame. In shame.

Man, Gunther, we're all there. I mean, it's been one of those episodes. All right. It's the Baron's turn. What's she gonna do? Flee. Yeah, she's so terrified by all the missing. By all the missing.

Are missing. She's going to... Oh, actually I've got an idea here that you all will hate. Goodie. She's going to lumber forward and she advances on Toll. She lumbers forward and pulls out a giant axe and takes a swing at Toll. And she's large so she doesn't have to get the full five feet close to you. She attacks from 10 feet away.

And she takes a swing with this axe, which is a plus seven to hit at 12. You rolled like a two, maybe a three? I rolled a nine, which is a 16. Does that hit? Oh my God, I made it. I'm alive. Yeah, I'm a 17 AC. Good.

Wow. I might equip my shield after this. Alright, well... Man, I wish that had hit. She's gonna try one more. She gets two attacks. She's gonna try to take a second. Okay, good, they're your turn. Go on, step up! I'm done.

No, no, it's you, Toll. You're the barbarian. This is what you signed up for. That's a 17, which is a 24. Great Oh, it's me. This is what you signed up for. Oh, that's a 17 which is a 24. Yeah. Great job You did it. Finally, let's get some good damage here. All right, I'm gonna do some slashing damage That is eight points of slashing damage. Hey, but I'm raging So you take four? Yeah, I'll take it this time and you know, it's funny you mentioned Gunther because her attack continues through you Whoops and continues on to Gunther. What is this Looney Tunes? Did it just chop me in half?

And Gunther it hits AC14. Misses! Happy for you! Do I need to roll that? Let me double check. Do I need to roll that? Like reroll. Or does it carry over from his? No, I need to roll that? Let me double check. Do I need to roll that? Like, re-roll? Or does it carry over from his? No, I have to roll again. Okay. Well, I was really excited about that. With the two attacks, I thought I was going to be able to hit both of you four times instead

of hit one of you once. That's cool though. It's really one of those episodes. Yeah, yeah. And, um... Hard drive. Yeah, that's it. Payback for the insanely high AC of one of these...

...guardians. She bangs the hilt of her axe onto the ground and yells... Darn with the patriarchy. Nattie goes, here here! I agree! What are we fighting for? Did she actually say that though? Like, is that like a piece of lore?

Okay. There's two of the flying devils turns and then it's Natty's turn. These two flying devils are going to circle at Gunther. Gunther make me two constitution saving throws. Okay. Oh shoot, I forgot to use my help on my attack. Shoot.

Oh, I forgot about that too. Oh well. Gotta remember to use your staff. Private parts parts crying. That's a 20, Nat 20 for 25. And the other one was a 10. Can I use my help on this saving throw? The creature you aid gains advantage on the next ability check

it makes to perform a task you're helping with. So it's not even an attack, it's an ability check. Okay, so a 25 and a 10. Yeah. Yay! One of them's a failure! Wee! I was saying yay. Alright, so, uh, yeah, one of them you're able to shrug off,

but the other one kind of hurts, and you take one point of piercing damage, and it feels like, uh, your arm burns where you took the bite. Do I have, like, an active condition on that? Yeah, metagame-wise, you're just vulnerable to fire. Ah, again. And just for clarity. Can't escape the fire. Health can be used on an attack roll.

We got rule clarification here. So it's either ability check or attack roll. OK, Natty, you're up. Then some flying devils, then Hanna. When you got excited about landing an attack, you reminded me, Gus, I watched this movie recently called The Last Voyage of the Demeter. It's a kind of a pretty poorly made Dracula movie.

They managed to turn Dracula trapped on a boat with pirates. Takes like two hours of a movie for Dracula to kill them all. And while I was watching the movie, I was just like, kill somebody, kill somebody. Something like you're rooting for Dracula at that point. I'm like, just do something that sounded like you. Because I was there with you when you did the, when you actually landed their role.

I was like, yes, something happened. Yeah. Where we can progress. Um, Natty's going to, uh, kind of pull up her britches a little bit and, uh, turn her gaze right at Hanna and go, Hey, honey, use us. All you wanted to say. Yeah. And cast hex on Hanna.

I guess a little extra damage and, uh, I guess disadvantage on dexterity checks. Okay. I don't know. We'll see. I made a note. Haven't really found a lot of success with that part of Hex yet. But then I'm going to do a classic,

an Eldritch Blast. Classic. Uh-huh. Classic, classic. Which is 18 plus five is 23. Yeah. 23 to hit? Yeah, that hits.

Yay. Something happened. Finally. Pew, pew, pew. Finally. Yay! Something happened! Finally! We needed Natty. It's just needed Natty. I'm gonna roll that. 5 plus 3 is the Eldritch Blast damage.

Plus 3 for Agonizing Blast. Plus they get pushed back 10 feet. Plus they take a D6 of Necrotic, which is 3 damage. So that's 14 points of damage and pushed back 10 feet. Is that added up correctly? Damage. Thank goodness something happened. Yeah. Like that's the biggest hit we've had.

Nady just starts doing a little Miss America wave at everybody. Hey everybody. Hey y'all. Okay. Yeah. That's a... Huna is looking worse for wear. I y'all. Okay, yeah, that's a, Hunna is looking worse for wear, I will say that. And it's now been pushed back 10 feet.

Hunna and Greggo are affronting up on Gambot, right? Yes. He's so brave. Well actually, Gambot was fronting up on one of them. So brave. Well, Gigi was watching that intently because Gigi has seen Gambot as like a little friend. And did not like when they were attacking Gambot,

especially when Greggo hit Gambot. He started growling a little bit. So Gigi's going to lunge towards Hanna as well and help Mommy. All right. Normally I would like say that you should roll to see if Gigi's gonna do that, but I totally buy that. I think Gigi would be there.

Oh, okay, yeah, Gigi's motivated. Gigi's gonna do that, but I totally buy that Right there is motivation here like giggy is angry about this. Yeah, I guess I'll just do does Hunter look very wise Perception check sure inside let's call it inside How similar to dog does five check wise check 17 plus 2 19 you would say that Hanna appears to be of average wisdom but Hanna's looking like the Hunnas might be dead soon worse for where was your words yeah worse for where and probably the weakest of the major enemies that you see in front of you. Gigi's gonna go for a claw. I was thinking about scaring Hunna, but I'm just gonna go for a claw attack. She's the one that has the pickaxe, right?

Yeah. Correct. This is plus four to hit. Gigi rolls a 17 plus four is 21. That hits. So then Gigi does 1d4. that's a 2 plus 3 piercing damage. So that's five and must succeed on a DC 10 constitution saving throw or take some, some poisson damage.

Hey guys, do you think that they're possessed and we should try to like non-lethally take them down? Just wanna throw that out there. Before you answer that question, I had a question of my own. Did you say it was five points of damage? Yeah. It's academic anyway because Hunna falls to the ground. Oh, okay.

Never mind. Cool. Uh, then... Get the big axe. Yeah, and Natti yells to Gigi, Gigi, grab that axe from Mama. Mama wants it. Okay, on that I'm gonna say you should, uh, make a check to see if Gigi actually listens.

All right, I'm gonna roll my d20. And you have to say dad acts. Dad acts. That's very good. I'm surprised Gus has not given you inspiration dice for that. Yeah, I was about to say taking inspiration dice for that one, that's really good.

Dang it, Gigi rolled a six, Gigi doesn't do it. Gigi instead starts protecting Gambot. Oh, OK. Yeah, yeah. That seems like good motivation. Gambot just goes, vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv Well, often mechanical noises are the expulsion of some sort of gas from a hydraulic system. So it's very similar to the our gastrointestinal movements. It's the GPR GAMBOT pressure release. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Nattie's frustrated, but very happy to see that her, her son found a friend. Yeah. All right. That's it for Nattie and Gigiigi It's a few of these flying demons turns We'll have two of them swarm Natty. Natty make me two Constitution saving throws That's an eight. That ain't gonna pass. Yeah, that's a four. So two fails. You're welcome Gus. There you go. Happy birthday. Yay You take a whole two points of damage and birthday yay you take a whole two points of damage and the bites also feel like

they're itchy and burning and metagame you're also vulnerable to fire okay okay there's two more of those flying demons Doug has been left unscathed so the other two go to Doug Doug to cut to save you though Barbara's eyes got really big it started looking around to Two constitutional saving throws. So are they physically attacking me? Yes, they're like fights. Cause I also have something called shield, which is a reaction.

I have one of those too. And I don't know if I could use it in this kind of sense. So this normally works with most attacks. If like there's an attack roll or AC involved, this is kind of a special attack or it's just directly a save. So yeah, shield would not work with this. Okay, hold onto it for further notice.

Okay, so you said two constitution saving throws. Yeah. Oh God. And as you've seen worst case scenario, you're gonna take two points of damage. Yeah, oh my God, I did not roll well. An eight and a 12. Okay, so one of them fails. So you take one point of damage and you're bitten and the source of the bite

It's like a really angry mosquito bite. It kind of burns and you're also vulnerable to fire damage. All right, that is it. We're gonna go back up to the top of the order. So Doug, it's your turn. Then after Doug, two of the devils, then Tollv and private parts. How close am I to Tollv? Tollv ran up from where you were, so he's roughly, we say roughly 20-25 feet, because he ran towards that southwest obelisk. Okay, and if I run towards him, am I opening myself up for any attacks of opportunity from anything? You've got two of these flying demons around you. They would potentially be able to attack you. OK, I guess instead of doing that, I don't know if this is allowed.

I have a hand axe. If I swing it in a kind of a swooping motion, could I manage to hit both of the flying demons? I'm going to say normally I love yes ending I'm gonna say no because of special abilities that allow you to do that kind of thing So I don't want to give you that without you having those sweeping attack like what the Baron just did I know right exactly with the Baron. Okay. I'll just use my hand axe to swipe at one of them then okay 18 that hits

one of them then. Okay. Yes. 18. That hits. Doing three points of slashing damage. Yeah, you slash at the flying demon and you cut its head off. Yay!

Oh, why? Okay. Gigi starts eyeing that head as a chew toy. Gigi loves skulls. I'm so glad. These are small, they're like giggy sized. Yeah. And that's all I could do for myself.

He's teething right now. But then I think Gambot is going to jump up and try to do his little melee weapon attack on the other demon, if he's close enough. Gambot ran up and is currently threatening Greggo. Then he's gonna get Greggo. Yeah. Little weapon attack here. Nice.

That's a 23. That hits. Cool. That will be six points of force damage on Greggo. What is that kind of attack? Is it like his head extends pneumatically and smashes into Greggo? I imagine he has like a spring-loaded head. Like right into his chin probably. Ooh.

Making him fly backwards. Like a piston. Yeah, very, very devastating attack. It's like an uppercut, like coming just up from under, hitting the bottom of the chin. Ooh, yeah. Greggo gets hit in the chin

by the spring-loaded Gambot head and you see three little birds appear around Gregor's head, tweeting in a circle. And then it should be like three little winged demons. Just be thinking. Yeah, yeah, yeah, three little winged demons and three stars. Excellent move, Gambot, just as I programmed you. Gigi's eyes are wide like an anime girl as he watches Gambot.

Once Gambot lands back on the ground after his blow, he looks over to Gigi and does the equivalent of if he had a top hat on and went, M'lady. A little head tilt. I feel like if his head is spring loaded, like it would kind of wobble down. Kind of like chipping a hat. Yeah. Yeah. I love it.

If there is text that accompanied this game, it would just say, Gigi will remember that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah that it? Yeah. All right, it's two of these winged demons turns.

I got one of them, right? You got one by you. There's 10 total. Oh, geez. Oh my goodness. Nevermind. Yeah, there's nine left. These two are gonna go after tolls.

So tolls make me two constitution saving throws. Okay, key whiz. That's a 18 and a 17. All right, yeah, those are both successes. a Chiwiz, that's a 18 and a 17. All right, yeah, those are both successes. You swat at them, they're just annoying you. Sorry boys, next time, next time. And it's your turn. Then after you use private parts,

then some demons and Gregg. Okey dokey. All right, so I was already making some progress to that Southwest obelisk. I'm gonna finish the distance, which I imagine I have enough, even with the slowed down thing, I was already making some progress to that Southwest obelisk. Yeah. I'm gonna finish the distance, which I imagine I have enough even with the slowed down thing because they have 30 feet of movement.

Yeah, it's about 10 feet away or so. So even, you know, it takes double. So it takes 20 feet of your movement for you to be able to reach the Southwest obelisk. Okay. So I glumber up to the obelisk. I square up to it. Actually, did someone pull out the sandstorm thing?

No, this is slinging a little sandstorm. Yeah, I'm gonna take a two-handed attack with this. I haven't equipped my shield. So I'm gonna roll for that with my war hammer. Ka-chow, 17. That hits. Okay, here's my damage. And I do want to clarify,

just for anyone who may be listening, just so they don't say that you didn't have an attack or opportunity taken on you, I specified the Baron was 10 feet away. Oh, actually, yeah, the Baron is 10 feet away and her reach is 10. Why do we gotta do this? She can take an attack or opportunity on you on that.

Why are we doing this, guys? Why do we have to do this? So if you want to move, I'll have her take the attack of opportunity if you don't want to move I'll retcon it and say you didn't move You got this big strong tolv. You're a tank. Big strong raging tolv. This does change things. The attack of opportunity Would it hit us both potentially? So that ability that allows the Baron to hit two targets is a special ability

So it has to be on one of her attacks, not just like a... Attack of Opportunity is just a reaction. So it's just like a knee jerk one swing that she would not be able to cleave. Then I'm going to equip my shield and still make my movement towards the obelisk, opening myself up to an Attack of Opportunity. Understood. I think that's a good move, personally. Whoa, Council of Barbarians is a new member. Uh, J's a good move personally. Oh council of barbarians is new member

Jerry is still out. It's your list you and Elio mode. Sorry She popped her head back in Are you playing without me? Gus is shoving us out. Yeah, Gunther has, I mean not Gunther, GumGum has not played in a while. He's like desperate to come out and play. I rolled a nat 20. Yeah, that's a good one.

Fantastic. Which is a hit. That means I will roll. She, you know, takes a huge swing and does 17 points of damage. Slashing damage. So you take half, so you take eight. And as she strikes you 12, she yells.

What do you know of the Pathfinder? Just leave me alone lady. I just want to blow up this obelisk. Ah Lee. I'm like so down to take down the patriarchy. You don't even know. We probably have so much common ground, but you came out here with your hacks and your gardeners. I don't even know what this is going to work. I feel so stupid. I'm taking all the damage

That's what you're supposed to do. You're supposed to do You are you are the meat shield. I don't like it. Okay, welcome to the council All right, so you take the damage but you keep moving because told us so mighty and So Mighty, and you approach the Southwest Obelisk, and you take your attack, and we'll use the roll that you had, which was a hit. I have to correct myself, though. I need to reroll damage, because now it's one-handed, because I have my shield equipped, because I was going to kill it with my big ol' packs! Roll that damage.

Great, it's worse. Eight. Eight points of damage. Yeah, the Obelisk begins splintering, and it seems like Eldritch energies are, like, flying off of damage. Yeah, the obelisk begins splintering and it seems like eldritch energies are like flying off of it. Okay, I'm gonna finish the fight on this stupid thing and use my bonus action, which is my storm aura. So I'm gonna use that, which is, you know, 10 feet aura effect when you start your rage and bonus action in your turns. You activate one creature of your choice, Senora. Takes lightning damage. So that's a 1d6.

Are you doing it on the Baron or the Obelisk? The stupid Obelisk that's done nothing to me, that I don't even know if it's going to blow up or not. I feel like Toll should get angry like this more often. It's really funny. I am raging, so it's in character. So two points of damage? Two points of damage.

Yeah, the Obelisk explodes into splinters and energy, and it seems to fly everywhere. And you no longer feel encumbered and slow. We won the fight, everybody! We did it! The fight against gravity. I have 10 feet of movement remaining. May I take it? Correct.

Yeah, correct. Yeah. Okay, then I'm going to go up to pie a la mode. And I recognize that I am dipping into extra, extra bonus action. Gummy gum time. So if I can shake her or give her a nudge awake or something great.

If not, I understand. Free action of talking. I am a mode. What'd you wake up? I have taken so much damage and I am hurting so bad right now. You don't even know. So you walk up to her and using your remaining 10 feet and try to like rouse her with your voice.

I'm going to put her in between me and the Baron, in fact, because I don't want to take more damage. This barbarian stick is so difficult. As you begin approaching the unmoving Pai'ala mode, once again you begin slowing down and get slower and slower. What did I do to you? You're not able to get all the way there. Was it something I said? Was it something I did?

You look around and you see three of the other obelisks are still glowing with runes spinning around them. And you notice that a piece of the armor on the baron is no longer glowing either like it was before. Oh, oh something I guess. Okay so you can yell at Pai Aelamode but you're not able to get all the way there. Okay Pai wake up! If I was walking distance of you, I would shake you awake. She doesn't lift her head or move, but you hear a muffled voice say, I can't move.

So you did help. Is it the obelisks? It might be like the gravitational effect that you guys were feeling like really intense by where she is. Yeah. Okay. Okay. I'm working on it. And then I go back to the team.

Guys, I'm like, these obelisks have like armor Something effects on the Baron. So like if you want I can try to take all of them down, but this is a very slow process It doesn't feel like it. I feel like bad in fact like bad in fact. Bogwais is Bogwais even if it's just one little step. Okay that's I am rallied. I'm so in love with this chapter of Toll. This is so good. He's got to come to grips with the fact that he's a damaged sponge.

I love Blaine's frustrated Toll voice is the best. I love the more high pitch again. Yeah, it's like. No, no. Closest thing is what private parts is doing, which is help. Yeah. Yeah, I don't think I have anything else. I'm just gonna brace for the next attack from the Baron

that will surely knock me on my butt. All right, well, it's not the Baron's turn yet. It's private parts who tried to help Gunther and watched him fly off into the distance. So private parts will turn to Natty and say, well, I guess Gunther doesn't want my help, so I'll cover you, I'll help you. So now you have, you're the recipient

of the help action, Natty. All right, I'll take the high notes, you take the low notes, okay? Yeah, sounds good. And then after he says that, Private Parts looks down at his notebook and begins scribbling furiously. You're taking notes while we're doing this?

What are you doing? That's my job. They sent me here to evaluate your combat effectiveness. Are we doing so far? Uh, we don't have the final tally yet. Is this all a simulation? Private parts? Oh, definitely not.

Is the Baron actually Steel Eye? Steel Eye? We knew Steel Eye was against a Patriarchy from the beginning. Big outlie. He seems like it, yeah. Alright, Boros, that was toll. Private parts. That's a couple of the Flying Devils. These two are around Gunther.

Gunther make two Constitution Centres. Yeah! Okay. Gunther, G Constitution Cintros. Yeah! Okay. Gunther, Gigi, Gambot, we all have Gs. Oh yeah, Greggo. Greggo. I filled both those, 9 and 7, hit me! Alright, and you all don't know this, but the demons are called Grelps. My whole initiative is just filled with Gs over here.

Oh my god. And your name is Gus. And my name is Gus, yeah woo. Yeah, you take two points of damage from the Bites Gunther and you're still vulnerable to fire. Alright. You need to get some off or something. I do. Burn a citronella candle.

Yeah. Oh, I have a tongue. That's them. It's Greggo's turn. Greggo just got uppercutted by Gambot and Giggy's in front of him as well. He's gonna bring that Warpick down again on Gambot, try to return the favor here. How dare you. Warpick is plus four. That's an 11, that's a 15. That's equal to it, so I guess that's a hit. Yay! Yeah, that hits.

The Warpick comes down, hitting Gambot, doing some piercing damage. That's seven points of piercing damage right on Gambot's little head. Seven, woof. That's nice. Mike could just put something in the chat. He said, meets it, beats it. That's like a good little mnemonic device.

Yep. So Gambot's still up? Yeah. Oh, curses. All right. Gambot's got 21 HP for what it's worth. Go Gambot! It's almost as sturdy as Natty.

Yeah. I mean, it is made's almost as sturdy as Natty. I mean it is made of steel, so... Alright, that's it for Gregor's turn. That means it's Gunther, then after Gunther is the Baron, then some Devils, then Natty. Okay. Gunther, you're no longer slowed down. You have your normal movement. And how far is the next nearest obelisk? From where you are...

The next nearest one is either the one north of you or the one east of you oh and you weren't all the way there the one to the north is about 35 feet north and then the one to the east is about 35 feet kind of east all right all right all right what's he gonna do control hmm I can't get through them but and it wears what's the the Baron Baron she? The Baron, she's within, she's like 10 feet away, right? She's about 10 feet away from you, yeah. And there's two bugs on me? You correct.

Demons, but yeah. In Gunther's mind, I think they're like mosquitoes, right? They're like bugs flying around him. Yeah, I do like the idea of us calling them demons bugs. All right, I want to run past the bugs. I don't know if they take attacks of opportunity. They do, yeah, so roll two constant state throws. 12 and a 20. Those are't know if they take attacks of opportunity. They do, yeah. So roll two constant, your same throws.

12 and a 20. Those are fine. You take no damage. Hey, woo. And I'll pass by the Baron, correct? Yes. On the way. And the Baron would get an attack of opportunity as well.

Except for if they've already used their attack of opportunity. Oh, you're right. Look at that. Their reaction's done. Ha ha, look at you. So I want to go ahead and attack. Before you attack, I'm gonna ask you

to do something for me, okay? I want you to make me a perception check. 13. Not bad. Yeah, as you're running by, evading the demons, AKA bugs, and running by the Baron, something on the obelisk catches your eye. You look around and you notice,

you can read what's on all of them. Oh, I can. I speak under common. Ha ha ha ha ha. Did you not check that? No, I forgot. I've been waiting to see if you remembered

that you could read under common. I even asked, I even like clarified. Oh my God. I feel like whenever you mention a language, the first instinct that I have is, let me look at my languages, do I know it? No. Yeah, idiot.

The runes come into focus and you realize that they all say lumbering and cumbering. Lumbering and cumbering, I say aloud, is what the runes say. There is lumber down here. Maybe there's something we need to do with the lumber. Yeah. And the obelisks are wooden.

That for sure is the stock market ticker. And the down Jones was down. Lumbering and cumbering. And yeah, where's the lumber in relation to us? One goes to deal with it. There's just piles of lumber scattered all around the southern end of the room where you all, where I guess fell into. I was going to say entered.

Dang, I wish it was my turn. I feel like it's just, that's like the spell that's on the obelisks lumber things is that they encumber us. All right, well, I'm gonna go ahead and I'll stab at the Baron. Oh, okay. While I'm passing by and I don't know if I can try and aim for, I guess it doesn't really matter, aim for the spot where the armor wasn't illuminated. Let's just see how the rolls go and we'll figure that out. That's 10. To hit? No, that's a miss

But you have that inspiration die, right? Right? No, but I do have It's very different from Kai board this pleases the council All right, that next one is 23. Oh, that does hit. Alright, so that's 9 damage. Okay, and what kind of damage is that? It's gonna be piercing. Okay, 9 points of piercing damage on the Baron.

I want to make a menacing attack. When I hit with a weapon attack, you spend one spirit, already died, to add the total to the damage roll, and the target must make a wisdom saving throw. On failure, it is frightened of you until the end of your next turn. Oh, interesting. So, DC 14, wisdom saving throw. And I get to add a superiority die to the damage.

Okay, you said DC 14? Mm-hmm. Wisdom. Boo. I'm rolling, then I'm gonna look up the modifier. Oh, I rolled a 14, so that's a success. Oh, let me make sure it's not a negative modifier. I don't think it is, but let me just verify. Which shirt is... No, wisdom is the modifier. Oh, I rolled a 14, so that's a success. Oh, let me make sure it's not a negative modifier. I don't think it is, but let me just verify. What's your shirt is?

No, wisdom is plus three. Oh, okay. 17. Okay, so it's not scared of me. Yeah. Well, it still gets extra damage. All right, what is that extra damage? Seven. Is that the most damage we've seen

from a single attack, 16 points? Probably so far today. It's pretty good. My God, he's the one. He's fighting yeah your attack lands and uh you poke the baron who uh who laughs and says you think i would be afraid of a little amphibious fool you know what they say don't poke the baron hey that's good that's very good that's a good one take an inspiration die that's good oh good. Oh, good. Okay, I'll take it. I want to use the rest of my turn to move towards the nearest obelisk.

Whichever one... Okay. ...Tolv isn't going towards. Well, Tolv went towards the middle, towards Pai-E-Lamo. Okay, then I'll move... Yeah, it's wherever the closest one is. It's either north or east. You pick. North! Okay.

Gunther begins continuing or continues north towards that obelisk. See, you would move another 15 feet. It was 35 feet away. Yeah, so you're getting like right to the boundary where it begins to start. You know where like it would begin to start slowing and you're right at that boundary.

Okay. The 2D flat boundary. The floor is lava. But what if we incorporated the Z axis Gus? That would you feel about that. Fancy. And I shall end my turn. That's it for Gunther.

It's the Baron's turn. Okay, the Baron sees 12 going to Pia La Mode. Gunther has gone by to the north. Gambots over there. Natty and private parts are to the south. You know when a dog is like definitely in trouble and they just kind of side eye you? Because they don't want to see what you're doing but they don't want to attract your attention. That's what Tove is doing right now to the Baron. He's just kind of looking away but eyeing the

Baron. Eyeing the Baron. I know what the Baron will do. The Baron picks up the broken obelisk that's fallen over, the one that's to the southwest, picks it up and hurls it to the north, trying to hit both Toll and Gunther with it. Fantastic. Great. Both of you make Dexterity saving throws. Run! Ah ha ha ha! I have advantage on Dexterity!

So that was a 15. The Barbarian. 23. And a 1. Oh, the barbarian. 23. And I won. 15 and a 23 then? Yeah. All right. Yeah, you both succeeded. Oh, thank God.

You both duck out of the way and the broken obelisk flies over your heads where your heads would have been and crashes to the north end of the room. Good that we almost died, dude. Did you see them lob that obelisk at us? It was fast. It was very fast. Very lethal. Once again, she raises and slams her fists on the ground, and the obelisks all discharge a wave of force.

Gunther and Toll, yeah, just you two, make dexterity saving throws again. Oh, what advantage on dexterity. 15, that's a 15 and a 16. That was a both successes. Oh, all right. You hate to see it. There's a wave of force, like an invisible wave of force

radiates out from all of the obelisks and goes through your body and over you, but you brace yourselves and hold fast on the ground, unmoving and you're kind of shoved around a little bit but you manage to stand your ground. I have my sea legs. I guess yeah that helps. Man, those were both two really good attacks and you all saved. Welcome to my world.

I'm sorry. Alright, I mean that's all she can do. You did your best. You did your hardest. That's what counts. She looks at you told and says, You will tell me your secrets. You surface dwellers are all the same. I think we're a very diverse group, in fact. I don't think that that's true at all.

I sometimes do not surface dwell. And you never tell secrets. You have too many. Do not surface dwell. It's two of the flying demons turns. These two went after Natty. Natty, you make two saves. 17 is my first roll and seven is my second. All right, so you fail on one of them.

You take one point of damage and itchies, ow, burns. You should go to your doctor. Yeah. Natty, it's your turn. How far is Natty from the smoky pickaxe? That was on Hanna. Her body's up where Gambot and Gigi are. It's not too far from you.

10, 15 feet maybe? Not far at all. Greggo is still frontin' up on Gambot. Just smashed him. Greggo has taken much damage, little damage, no damage. Greggo's taken a decent amount of damage, but Grego still looks healthy. Not in the danger of falling over immediately, but definitely bloodied. Okay, can I have Gigi go?

Yeah, why not? All right, Nattie yells out, Gigi! Baa! Baa! And Gigi goes for a bite on Grego! Real fast, before you rolled that, and again, I'm trying to yes and Gigi goes for a bite on Greg. Oh, what real fast before you rolled that and again, I'm trying to yes And Gigi do you think gig you would be conflicted at all here because gambot tipped his hat at him Like this gig is giggy inspired. Maybe you're gonna want to smooch gambot instead of instead of attacking

No, Gigi doesn't think of gambot that way gig. He's like this is a buddy. This is a little this is a little He wants to go on adventures with gambot. He wants to make pillow forts and climb trees. That's what he wants. And they could definitely do that because Gambot could launch Gigi up using his spring load. Whoa. That's all the mathematical equations going on in Gigi's head, but they're all like wrong math and like scribbles. There's emojis thrown in there. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's definitely like some poop emojis and that kind of thing up there. Okay, Gigi does a bite. Gigi rolls a 16 plus four. So 20, 30, 20. That hits. And Gigi does, what is that? A D4 plus three.

That's a three plus three is six. And then give me that 10, DC 10 constitution saving throw. So six damage and then give me a con from the inventors of bat Comes bite new shirtline coming out But it's felt the same way though just Constitution I have a plus two on this and roll a seven. I rolled a three. How's that? You are poisoned. Oh, and you take some poison damage too. Two D four.

That's a two. That's a two, so four. And Gregor begins coughing. Yeah, nine damage and poison. Still alive. Cool. Micah says that the Gigi Gambot team up is gigam. Yeah, yeah.

Oh, my favorite pattern. I keep forgetting to say this on the proper podcast. I want to be very clear. Gigi is spelled G-I-G-G-Y. Is he a lot of people going G-I-G-I? Oh, it's Gigi. Gigi spells it. Good to know.

Yeah. Just want, just, I, we don't spell out very much stuff here. So I'm because of people and that's always confusing. So I'm helping. I'm helping. Very true. Okay. Nattie runs up and grabs that pickaxe. Yes.

Okay. Yeah, you run up and grab it. What kind of cool armor transforms onto me and turns me into like a really cool looking like gladiator. You are Iron Man now. Yeah. You pick it up and you see it's a bloodstone pickaxe that's just wafting with smoke.

And just as a reminder, in the last episode, you saw Huna use this and when she activated it, the head transformed into like a dragon worming head and exhaled like a breath weapon. Oh, cool. Does Natty feel like when she picks up the pickaxe, she can like tap into that same kind of abilities? Sure, yeah, why not?

She's smart. Yeah. She's very smart. Yeah. Not Doug smart, more like your grandma who's like been around for forever and can do a million things, smart. Well, not a lot of people are Doug smart. I would agree, I would agree.

I would never impede upon your hold on that area. Okay, would I be able to do that attack and in a way that would catch more than Greggo in the crossfire? Perhaps a demon or petrified wood? Or baron. Yeah, let me just verify the range on that. Maybe a Gunther?

No. No. It's a 15 foot cone that it operates in. So from where you are, if you went up and grabbed it where Hanna died, Hanna died. You could definitely hit Greggo and the Southeast Obelisk. Cool. Then I shall do that. But first a bonus action.

Greggo's looking pretty bad, right? Yeah, not great. He's not just about to fall over, but it's going to happen soon. Let's hex him. I like to hex people. I hex that ground. I hex you. I hex. Yes, that's what that's what Nattie says. Thank you. I'll hex break loose.

OK, and then take disadvantage on Dexterity checks. That's fine. Yeah, I cast whatever the thing you described was, Gus. OK, let me just put thing you described was, Gus. Okay, let me just put that status effect on Greggo. All right, yeah, you, Natty picks up the axe. Is it called Puff the Magic Dragon spell? Yeah, and you know, feels that arcane energy flowing in it and points it at Greggo and the obelisk

and roll me a d6, Natty. I wanna be very clear, Natty uses the pickaxe to strum her auto harp and then cats to that. What was that roll again? Because I was making a dumb joke. Just roll a D6. D6.

An important joke, a vital joke. They can be dumb and important. That's very true. Yeah, look at Chris. Hey. Two. Yeah, I love that Chris was the first to laugh at that and was the loud first to laugh at that

and was the loudest to laugh at it. What I thought about when I said that was my teenager children. Oh. Which you often compare me to. There are a lot of comparisons. You point the weapon at Gregor and the obelisk and you activate the arcane energies

and the head transforms into a warming head and a blast of stormy wind flies out oh i did it in the wrong direction oh oh no oh no yeah oh and then he goes i did it and then he goes i did it instead of flying out where you're pointing it the breath is focused to the north, like left of where you were trying to aim it. Luckily for you, no one's standing there at the moment. So it just kind of goes out into the area like where 12 had been and where the other obelisk was,

but there's no one there at this point. Oh, okay. Now he just does nothing and goes, okay. And now he turns to Greg and goes, okay. And then it turns to Greg on goes, now, if you don't surrender, that's going to happen to you. Sit down. That's an interesting point. We have a mechanic that we've been toying around with that

we're going to try here. What's their name? He's going to make a morale check. Oh, oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

We did that before. Yeah. I thought, I know we've done reality checks. I don't know. Have we done a morale check? We did a morale check. Someone decided to flee, to run. Yeah. Because we killed their buddies.

Oh. Right. So I'm going to roll a 2D6. I'm going to roll this as 12 because I can't roll it as DM. So you can see this roll come from 12. Fail, fail. 6. He sees, you know, he hears the threat from Natty and sees that dragon breath and, uh, he,

he looks like he's shaken. He, uh, begins trying to, uh, withdraw. That's why. Does that provoke attack of opportunity by Gambot and the two of us? It does. Oh my God. All right. So it's Gambot and Gigi both, I believe. I'm not up on them. Oh yeah, you are there too,

because you got the axe, yeah, the pickaxe, yeah. Okay. Matty goes gentleman first, and lets Gambot and Gigi go. Okay. Vroom, vroom, vroom. Yeah. Vroom.

Gigi's farting. Yeah, that was a Gambot. Would it just be like a typical melee weapon attack? Yeah, normal attack. That would be 12. Ooh, that does not hit. Alright, I'm gonna roll for Mr. Gigglesworth. Mr. Gigglesworth.

12 plus... He doesn't really have an unarmed strike modifier. He does his bite. Would that be what it is? Yeah. Okay, 16. That's the number. Would that be what it is? Yeah. Okay. 16. That's the number you need. That hits.

Oh, cool. Nice. Gigi rolls four damage with a D4. Three plus three. That's six. Six points of damage. What does Poison do again? Disadvantage?

I think he gives him disadvantage on some of his attacks. Oh, okay. Not on attacks on them. No. I always forget what it is. I think it's disadvantage on some of his like attacks. Oh, okay. Not on attacks on them. No. I always forget what it is. I think it's disadvantage on attacks and ability checks if I recall properly. Okay, cool. Then yeah, takes that damage.

All right, then Natty, you also get to attack. Faux show. And he does just an unarmed strike. Yeah, unless you have like a melee weapon. He doesn't carry a weapon. Oh, you could swing, you have, you're carrying that pickaxe that you picked up. Oh, cool. What does that do? Can I, okay, I'm just gonna roll a d20 you do what you got to do 19 is what I rolled. All right, do you still have help? Yes. He probably won't beat a 19, but you have advantage Yes, roll it anyway, just to see if it's a crit. I've rolled a 19 again. Oh, I can only remember other people's helps

All right, yeah you swing with the Warpick hitting Greggo doing 1d8 points of damage. Four. That's exactly what he had left. Yeah, so as Greggo turns to run away, you hit him in the back with his friend's Warpick and he falls to the ground unmoving. There he goes. Say hi to my wife. And then kicks him off the axe.

Forgot about that. All right well that's Gregos turn. R.I.P. Wait that was not Gregos turn that was Nattie's turn. That was Nattie's turn. Yeah all right so then it's one of the demons that was circling Doug attack so Doug make a constitution saving throw it's the only one remaining around you. Ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba 20! Whoa! Alright, yeah, you succeed. Yeah that's right. You're not gonna mess with Doug this time, brother. That's what they say.

It's Doug Hogan, everyone! What up? Ehh. While you guys are wiping out the gardeners and the demons, Polv is just watching from near Annapolis, just being stupid Annapolis, what did I do with this? This is dumb. This is a board. Barron's kicking my butt and I'm just fighting wood.

All part of being a barbarian. It's just Natty and the kids. And Doug. No, I mean, like, cause I'm with like Gambot and Gigi back where I am. You know, when you're a kid, you'd look out the window and like the neighborhood kids would be playing without you and you'd just be like, longingly staring. That's what that's what Tolle's doing right now.

Doing your homework. I picture the episode of The Simpsons where Bart breaks his leg and he's watching everyone have a pool party from outside his window. Yeah. Your epidermis is showing. All right, we're back at the top of the initiative order with that. And the Baron says, enough. I will get my answers. And she very quickly flies over and grabs private parts.

He's been left alone at this point. And she flies down into one of the holes that was there at the southern end of the room with private parts, with private parts in tow. Imagine she picks him up from like the scruff of his neck. Yeah, yeah. He goes, he goes limp. He can't move. And as she does so, you all start to hear a noise from above, almost like a cacophony of voices yelling.

Like are they applauding no they seem angry I told you they were lying they're down there the loggers or wait not the loggers the people of the hold up the rules of regime the rules yes exactly they hear we're gonna get those more Italian people and they're gonna pay for what they did. ["The Last Supper"] Can't you see what we were doing? We were fighting this demon! Look, there's like a lumber all around us! You can have it! You can have it! We were doing your fatness demon look there's like a lumber all around us. You can have it you can have it

Find out if the party's able to Reason with the mob and if they're able to get private parts back because if they don't that's uh, that's gonna be a bad grade With sergeant steel. I oh no, we lost your soldier. Sorry, dude. Yeah Find out what happens on the next episode of tales from the Stinky Dragon. I hate escort missions. Yeah. Oops. Have you seen the Kaiborg U2s plushie? That's right, you can get everyone's favorite empty-headed archer, now in plushie form, by U2s.

Head over to kaiborg.utus.com to check it out. Pre-orders go live February 4th, probably right around the time you're listening to that. Again, that's kaiborg.utus.com. K-Y-B-O-R-G dot Y-O-U-T-O-O-Z dot com. February 4th, probably right around the time you're listening to that. Again, that's kyborg.youtoos.com. K-Y-B-O-R-G.Y-O-U-T-O-O-Z.com. They're only available for a limited time. Check it out ASAP and get one while you can.

New episodes of Tales from the Stinky Dragon premiere every other Wednesday, wherever you stream podcasts and on the Stinky Dragon YouTube channel. Want to listen to the show 48 hours early and ad free? Become a patron at stinkydragonpod.com or become a member of beacon at beacon.tv both memberships support the show and receive access to our exclusive bonus series second wind and a member-only discord for their respective platform become a patron and get access to even more exclusive bonus content the stinky dragon community discord events and get your name shouted out just like damon johnson destiny anderson silvie Marsau, Giancarlo Pineda, and Categar,

Kategar, Kate-gar. One of those is probably right. These patrons directly support the show and get ad free episodes, access to our Patreon only Discord server, bonus content like second win, behind the screen, and more. Here's a quick peek at our latest behind the screen episode, the Council of Barbarians. Elga was just like such a standout character and then just maintained. At first, I was going to play a big beefy lady.

Was a very classic barbarian looking character, like with the helmet and the braids and stuff like that. And I wanted her to be like giant and also for her name to be Helga, but she was going to talk like this and her name going to be Elga. And like, she say it like Elga because it's Helga, but for her accent. And then I was like, what if her going to be Elga. And like she say it like Elga because it's Helga, but for her accent.

And then I was like, what if her name is just Elga, but it's a little girl instead, because that's unexpected. You pitched that and I didn't want to influence your decision too much, but I was so clearly in love with Elga that we got over Helga. Not that Helga was bad, but I was like, I think just there's just more mileage out of

little Elga, little girl. I think I also made the dynamic of the team fun for that. And I think that'sga was bad, but I was like, I think there's just more mileage out of little Helga, little girl. I think I also made the dynamic of the team fun for that. And I think that's what I've enjoyed so far about each of our barbarians is like, they've always provided a good dynamic with the rest of the team, it seems like. That's where this whole running joke of the council of barbarians came from was like asking,

what can Tolv learn from Gum Gum and Helga? Tolv, have a seat as your teacher Helga and Gum Gum have arrived to instruct you on how to be barbarians. This is my first class. Nice to meet you, Mrs. Elga. Again, that's StingyDragonPod.com. We can't thank you enough for your support that lets us make this show. Listeners who interacted with us on the Stingy Dragon Discord had NPCs named after them this episode, like the Baron, named after Shieldmaiden and voiced by Hannah McCarthy at Hi Hello Hannah, Greg O'Liver named after Oliver, Kyo Dai named after Kyo Dai, and Pi A La Mode named after Andrew Lamont voiced by Ashley McNew at Smashree on Instagram.

Additionally, Private Parts is voiced by Ben Ernst at Halcyon underscore Ben, and Cobb is voiced by Cameron Fletcher at Cameron dot Fletcher on Instagram. This week's Error Question was submitted by Diedrich. This episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon was produced by Ben Ernst, written, edited, and composed by Michael Reisinger, with additional editing work by Katherine Arnold. Tune in next time for another thrilling episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon. Alright, time to shine. Doug's all alone in this room with maybe Ben listening in on the ones and twos. We're here, mid-episode. Not a lot has happened.

We're pretty bad so far, guys. Things not looking good. Really failing here. Third campaign in the Stinky Dragon. Really showing our true colors here, not being professional D&D players we once thought we were. And we'll see what happens when we return here on Tales from the Stinky Dragon. Oh, Private Parts always tunes in for fun, fun facts. Doug, I love this part of the podcast.

Oh, hello, Private Parts. How are you feeling? You know, halfway through this battle here. Oh, I mean, things are kind of interesting. I I really don't know what Gunther expected me to do in that fight because I kind of said I'm here to help. And then he kind of just ran in and didn't communicate at all what he expected me to do in that fight because I kind of said I'm here to help and then he he kind of just ran in and uh didn't communicate at all what he wanted me to do so uh classic Gunther I'll get him on the next one if you were a friend has a Gunther in your life feel free to

call into the show at 555-555-555-555. Dag what are you doing? Oh, hello, Natty. Welcome to the show. Welcome to the mid-season show, mid-episode show Here on Tales from a Stinky Dragon radio with your host Doug Boone. You got a show? Yeah, we're here with uh, we're here with Natty, Wunder and Private Paul. It's here taking a mid-episode break Well, what are we playing today? What's what's up? What's on the ones and twos? Oh just a lot of Elevator music as we wait for us to finish this battle. I feel like you, Doug, with your mechanical proclivities would enjoy more like electronic music. Oh, typically I do. Typically I do. Doug is an art of fist pumper. Oh, that's good. That's really good.