Tales from the Stinky Dragon - C03 - Ep. 12 - Mission Through Middrus - Win-Wind Deal

Episode Date: March 5, 2025

Brutaliteam meets with Preacher Reggie and his Silver purification methods for the Chaste Chain Support us directly on Patreon https://www.patreon.com/stinkydragon - get access to ad-free episodes, bonus content like Stinky Dragon Adventures & Second Wind, our patreon-exclusive discord, and more! Check out our store & follow us on our socials at https://linktr.ee/TalesFromTheStinkyDragon Cast: Gus Sorola, Blaine Gibson, Barbara Dunkelman, Jon Risinger, Chris Demarais Writer/Editor/Composer: Micah Risinger Producer: Benjamin Ernst  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hey Listener, it's Zach Harper, Amin Elhassan, and Anthony Mays of Cinephobe. You may be asking yourself, what is Cinephobe? Amin, would you like to fill in the people? Cinephobe is the podcast where Zach and I watch movies that are poorly rated on Rotten Tomatoes and try to ascertain whether or not they're accurately poorly rated, or maybe they didn't get a fair shake. Cinephobe, produced by this guy Anthony Mays. Hey, that's me I've produced this show I also watch the movies even though that wasn't included in

the description and I also ascertain this month is wow oh oh Maze why do you say that supercharge it so that this promo can remain evergreen. I feel like explaining a little bit more. In 60 seconds? I don't know, maybe I don't bring attention to it. Assuring people like, look, if you listen, you're gonna get it. Just give it, give it time. That's a good promo. Just listen to it.

Give it time. You'll figure it out. Is this the promo right now? Isn't it? Okay, I think we got it. Sinophobe! Sinophobe! Where'd we get podcasts?

I'm Alan Sisto, the man of the West, here at the Prancing Pony Podcast. And I'm Sean Marchese, the real life Lord of the Mark. Every week here at the Prancing Pony Podcast. And I'm Sean Marchese, the real-life Lord of the Mark. Every week here at the Prancing Pony Podcast, along with Sean or other co-hosts, I explore the works of J.R.R. Tolkien, author of The Hobbit and The Lord of the Rings, bringing along lots of pop culture references, plenty of nerd humor, and the occasional bad pun. It's just a couple of friends hanging out at the pub talking about our favorite books. We cover just a few pages every episode, reading important sections of the books

and having a chat about what we've read. Now we do a ton of research for each episode so that we can bring as much background information to our conversation as possible. We do all the heavy reading so you don't have to. It's a great way for first time readers to learn the basics of Tolkien's world. Well, for Middle Earth veterans,

it's a deep dive into their favorite stories. Now the Tolkien fandom is like no other, so we spend time in the community giving talks at Tolkien events, recording live episodes, and hanging out with our listeners on Discord to engage with our audience every chance we get. So if you're ready to dive into the most beloved world in fantasy literature,

and become a part of a vibrant, active community of listeners, then look for The Prancing Pony Podcast wherever you listen. Afternoon, all you Oblickspawns! Squelch your slime into the stinky dragon and absorb our latest aquatic intake. Mile in there, Sha-OOZ! It's a mixture of Blech, tea leaves, and a H-Goo, oh, sugary seepage, icy icker, and a pseudopod of sliced lemon.

One engulfing of this potable personality, and you'll feel like yourself if you were someone else. Previously, our adventurers bestowed a brief olive branch to the residents of Raisin before bolting below after the Baron. B-Team broke up into buddies, and Bear crawled into a musty mine with a concealing curtain. After uncovering a mysterious Mariner mural, the deep-pocketed privates penetrated the portal wall while the poorer party members stayed put. They bartered with a breezy demigod

and offered silver for safe passage and gusty guidance. But will their path be a breeze or will they need to catch their second wind? Nab some nectar and nestling for a noxious narrative. ["The Star-Spangled Banner"] Heh. Couldn't help it. I love this. I just love Barbara Dunkleman, just her little... Before we get to the arrow, can I throw you an arrow? Oh, whoa.

What is happening? Have you ever considered naming yourself Vostago Rizzola? Just like mixing the letters up? No, never. Never have. Gangain Bibson. Gain Bibson. For a minute there, Blaine. I thought you had something like very deep and interesting to throw at.

Important. Important. I guess, but you were just like jumbling up the letters of his name and asking me stuff. I've been thinking about Vustago Gorilla or Rizzola since 3 AM. I woke up last night and I was like, Bustago. Why? Anyways.

I once told Keri Shawcross that his alternate name was Sherri Cockross. Sherri Cockross. I don't know, I remember that. Follow up question, who in this group would have the coolest name if you reversed the first and last letters of the first and last name? Ron Jysinger.

Ron Jysinger's pretty cool. Ron Shaw. That's pretty cool. Ron Jysinger. That's pretty good. Oh. Darbrow Bunkleman. Bunkleman. Ew, I hate that. Dischremeris.

Dischremeris. Dischremeris is so, that's a Star Wars name. It's very, it's very Star Wars. Is that just how you make your Star Wars name? It's like, you just have to swap the two letters? Galeen Bibson is also very much a star wars name. Galeen Bibson is great. Did we just crack like George Lucas's entire like format? Aw crap.

Maybe. Suscarola. Wait, was that George Lucas? Yeah. How do you get into our discord? Get him out of here. Ah, I love that. Like we are. I don't know why, but our impressions person is Chris Damaris. That is like not good at him.

No, I'm not saying good. I just said impressions person doesn't. That wasn't a comment on the quality of them. Shout out to honey heist. Maybe on a second win for this week, we could see who has the best impression. OK, we could do a has the best impression. Yeah. We could do a little show and tell our best impressions. That would be fun.

I like that, Barbara. I feel like if we're going to do that, you should record the impression ahead of time while no one's watching. No, no, live, live. Nope. And then play it back during the episode. Oh. Maybe it's anonymous.

We can't tell who's impersonating who. Yeah, we'll never know. I would bet my life savings I could tell each of you doing what impression you're doing. If anybody wants a treat, you need to go and listen to the Christmas episode of Stinky Pop with Chris in it because we got a little sampling of his McGroober from Die Hard. I had forgotten about that. Hans Gruber. Wait, Hans Gruber from Die Hard. Yeah.

Sorry, Gruber is a, what's his face? His character from SNL. I watched Chris start trying to take his stinky dragon hoodie off while wearing his headphones. And I know that's a mistake because I cannot take that hoodie off while I'm wearing my glasses, which are much more flushed on my face. So let's all pause for a moment so Chris can take off

his headphones and then take off his stinky dragon hoodie. While he's doing that, I'll just mention too that Stinky Pop, like John mentioned, and Second Wind are both. I see nipple. Chris, we see your nipples. This is not a video podcast. I think what you were going to say was very important, Barbara. Barbara's trying to plug my amazing movie podcast. Thanks for the show.

Yeah, absolutely. Well, as John mentioned before, Stinky Pop and also Second Wind, which I mentioned, are available to our wonderful Patreon members, which you could be a part of at stinkydragonpod.com. Also on Beacon, if you want to join that platform as well, you get Second Wind in addition. In addition to ad-free episodes, ad-free versions

of our campaign episodes. Absolutely. Which are available on both Beacon and StinkyDragonPod.com. Seven minutes into recording, we haven't done the arrow question. I'm going to hit our four players with an arrow. My name's Gustavo Sorolla, I'm the Dungeon Master. No, Vustago.

Sustavo Gorola. Gungeon Dancer. No, Mungin Dancer. Man, because that's funny, because scared in Spanish is asustado. That sounds like Sustavo. Anyway, I'm going to hit our four players with an arrow. Do you prefer comfy, practical or stylish clothing?

And what is your favorite piece of clothing you own? And that was sent in by ZTommy. Roll to two, finally. 12. A D20 coming in right now. Elga, this isn't your campaign, girl. I couldn't help it. Three for Doug.

19. All right. Chris, you want to lead, or I should say Gunther, you want to lead us off? Yeah. So I'm Chris Demeris and I'm playing Gunther, the male fighter and- Croak folk.

Croak folk. You just said male fighter and I was like, what changed? My favorite, my favorite is, um, I like not clothing at all. That's when I was, when I was just a Ted poll, it was so much fun. I always swim around and be naked. Is that comfy, practical or or stylish, or all three? It was all three at the time. Wow. You're stylish?

Yes. When you were a tadpole, did you ever have a tad talks? All the time. Every time my father would come to me, he said, it's time for a tad talk. He wasn't very big. He wasn't a full pole. He was just a tadpole.

Hey. I'm torn. I hate these, but I think Natty would like these, so I don't know how to play this in character. As now I prefer clothing that is more practical. That has function and fighting ability, and my favorite. Gunther, do you own any stylish clothing? Well, I don't know what that, no, unless you think so. No. Do you think I am? So you don't think so? It's just all practical.

I don't know. I have no opinion. Hey, you know that three piece suit in Saturday Night Fever? Yes. Couture has one of those. I need fan art of that immediately. But my favorite article of clothing is this. Here is the handkerchief. And my wife made it for me.

God, I forgot he was married. You got a wife? You got a wife? Yeah, remember he abandoned them? Oh, why? I guess I blocked that out of my memory because it was so sad. I try to not think often of it.

Now, to be clear, Gunther, wait, do you have kids? I can't remember. A lot of kids, right? He doesn't want to think about them, Natty. Well, this is what we're doing. We're all being vulnerable. That's what this arrow time is for. No, I told you I prefer practical clothing

that is protective. Right. Uh, they're still like your wife. She's still alive, right? I pray that she is. Okay. Last time you saw her. Yes. Kicking and screaming, right?

She was not kicking or screaming. I ran into that. I just, I just offered that up to you and I knew it. Okay. What's her name? Boonya. Boonya. Boonya. Boonya. Boonya. Boonya. Boonya. Boonya. Boonya. Boonya. The Miyazaki film? That's Pio. Very close. Which had aquatic creatures. Amphibious creatures.

Alright, well thanks for sharing Gunther. One more question for our croak folk. This is just a simple one since we're getting some sharing from you. I'm not going to ask for all of them, but maybe I'm going to ask for one every once in a while. What's the name of one of your kids? He has so many he can't remember. Tonka. Tonka. Oh, do they like trucks? I was thinking the same thing. No. Okay, Tonka. Oh, do they like trucks? I was thinking the same thing.

No. Okay. Okay. Tonka. Maybe he's got another kid named Truck. I mean, he's got so many of them. I love trucks. This is Hot Wheel.

This is Bigfoot. You have one named Lightning? Ka-chow. Okay. Hey Gunther, thank you for sharing. I really like learning, thank you. Hey Gunther, thank you for sharing. I really like learning stuff about you.

Thank you. I like learning too, especially about you. All right, who's next? Who had the next highest roll? We had Gunther with a 19. Oh, hey Tove, there you are. I was just here with you. He was standing right behind me.

I didn't even see him. You fool,, scared you. You know, if I could be greeted the way that Tove just greeted our arrow questionnaire every time someone meets me, I'd be delighted. He was so excited to talk to you. Very excited. I was a little startled.

I love talking fashion. So when it comes to style and function and what was the other thing? Comfy, yeah, that was it, yeah. So I like a combination of all three, not to just, you know, be super broad about it. And I think that the perfect piece of clothing that has all three of those is my beard.

Yeah. But that's not clothing, Tov. Oh, but I mean... Wait, is it detachable? No, no. This is my beard. It's attached to me. But you know, it's comfy in the cold weather. Functional. And it's, you know, practical. It's functional, you know.

It's stylish. You know, I could put flowers inside of it if I want. You know? And very similar to clothing, you wear it very well. Well, thank you. Yeah. But I mean, like I could, I could like take it off if I wanted to. And then I'm just a completely different person,

but much colder. And he walks up to Tollef to like touch his like, his like clothing and vest to see if the beer just is extension into all that. Like it's all actually just one piece. Braided into it. So that's my answer. Did you introduce yourself? Oh my goodness.

I am Toll. I am a male orc barbarian and I'm played by Blaine Gibson. I hate that introduction. It's awful. Do you want to do a retake? No, I'm played by Blaine Gibson. I hate that introduction. It's awful. Do you want to do a retake? Nope, I'm sticking to it. One take Blaine.

Yeah. I think, Tolv, since you're, I'm going to break the fourth wall a little bit with you here, Tolv. Since your beard is your favorite article of clothing, I think we're going to need to sell that on the Stinky Dragon store at store.stickydragonpod.com. Available now. Go check the store.

No, it's not available now. It's not available now. Available tomorrow, John Reisinger's promise. We'll figure it out. Limited drop, only 500. John, don't worry, I'll make it in the store. It'll be designed by me. I'll put it in the store, it's immediately sold out.

Is what I'm gonna do. Okay, here's the thing. We can do that. Cause I know that you can do that on our hosting platform. We should absolutely put the beard up and just not list it. Like a fake product. Yeah. Oh, you mean as like a, as a sold out item. Yeah.

Okay. Hey, hey, follow through. See if we do this. See if John remembered to do this. Yeah. Go to store.stinkydragonpod.com. That's the Stinky Dragon Challenge. So anyway, that's me. Yeah.

Thank you. Thank you, Tov. Who was after? I think Natty? Was Natty next? I guess it's me. It's Doug. Apparently three is higher than or two in case you guys didn't know.

So, you know. Well, hello everyone. My name is Doug Boone. I'm a bugbear out of fissure, level three to be exact, which is also higher than two. And I'm played by Barbara Dunkleman. And, you know, I tend to skew a little bit more towards comfortable clothing. You know, Doug's a big guy.

And so, you know, I like to wear things that I can move around easily. And I got a lot of fur as well and so it's nice to have. Chris loves the way I say fur apparently. I love it. It's the season to broccoli. And you know, so I like to have things I can move around in pretty easily. But my favorite piece of clothing is actually my vest that I wear. And that's because, you know, it's,

if you guys ever take a close look, it's half teal and half maroon. And the maroon actually comes from my brother, Phil. So it was actually a piece of his clothing that I combined with a piece of my clothing to make this vest. And so it's very special to me. Yeah, his favorite color was maroon.

And so, you know, I just wanted a piece of him with me all the times. Very sentimental. Yeah. It's very sweet. Doug liking comfort clothes is spoken like a true big boy. Yeah. Also a very part of the course of me, Barbara.

Yeah, yeah. Ever since the pandemic, I have not gotten out of sweatpants and sweatjacks. That's all I wear. We call those hard clothes in this house and we don't wear hard clothes very much. We wear soft clothes only. We wear soft clothes. Yes.

Absolutely. And so does Doug. As a big boy myself, I wear soft clothes. It is fun going to weddings and seeing Barbara in sweatsuits, you know? That's actually what I'm going to wear to my wedding. It's a beautiful, beautiful, handmade sweatsuit. Just a diamond encrusted white sweatsuit. I've never seen a hoodie with a veil before. My veil is just a hoodie on my head hanging off of it.

I feel like that's not a bad idea. I know, I know. I'm considering. Thank you, Doug. Or as your Star Wars name is Bugdune. Oh, that's so cool. That's a a bad idea. I know, I know. I'm considering. Thank you, Doug. Or as your Star Wars name is Bugdune. Oh, that's so cool. That's a good one. Bugdune.

That's too funny. All right, Natty, you're up. I'm up. Hi, y'all. I'm John Reisinger, and I play Natty Wonder, who is a drow warlock. And I'm as happy as a clam to be talking about fashion. I don't think it's a clam to be talking about fashion.

I don't think it's a surprise to anybody that I love styles, I love clothes, I love looking good all the time. And so, you know, I obviously, I'm very much like Tove a little bit where I like a Neapolitan of all three of those choices, but I think if I had to make a hierarchy, it would be styles gotta be at the top.

I, you know, you gotta look good. You gotta look good. Cause I look good for me, which then inevitably makes me look good for y'all. So it's a gift for everybody. You went with that as well, Natty. Yeah. Yeah. You're just thinking of everyone else.

There's something about when we're like, like on a military mission. Yeah. And then like, you know, we have a person in bright pink, you know? It's like super strategic, yeah? It is. It is. It's really distracting, it's flu. Don't forget to mention all the reflective rhinestones on my clothes as well.

Those are very good. Who could forget, yeah? I could not. There's one option of camouflage where you try to blend into the background. There's another option where you just try to blind anyone potentially looking for you. And I think you might prefer that one.

Yeah. And so if I had, it's, oh, it's so hard to pick my favorite article of clothing. There's so many, but you know, my mind immediately goes to one of my favorite things I've ever been given. They're actually a passed down piece of article of clothing from my mama's, is my boots. My boots.

I love my boots. They're white. I take very good care of them. They're actually quite practical and comfortable as well. They're not just for showing, although they show quite well. But yeah, I don't go anywhere without my boots. Boots scooting. Are they made for walking?

Yeah. Walking, kicking, running, trin'. Are they made for walking? Yeah. Walkin', kickin', runnin', trottin'. Super good for plantar feciitis, yeah. Do you have like insoles in there or something? Because we do a lot of walking and exploring, and so I'm wondering how you don't get sore feet. Dr. Scholes? I think it's just kind of, I'm so comfortable with myself.

My feet are comfortable with whatever's going on. I think it's just kind of, it just drips down all the way down through my body, my comfort. And those heels, are those like, what are those, three inches? How high are those? You know, it's a good question. I haven't measured them. I'll have to have Doug do that.

He's so practical. Absolutely. Only with your permission though. If you're gonna measure something or touch someone or the belongings, you gotta ask permission. I appreciate that. I or touch someone or the belonging, she got to ask permission. I appreciate that. I appreciate that. Yeah.

So that's my answer. Thanks. Good. Good round, everyone. My headcanon is Natty has like size five feet. Like they're just tiny little like Barbie feet. Yeah. That's that's like my girl's my girlfriend's size of feet.

She's got tiny feet. Yeah. Before we dive into this from a meta game perspective, Blaine, if you don't have one, give yourself an inspiration die. Just so the audience knows, we tried to record this episode earlier today, and D&D Beyond was down, so we had to reschedule and we were all keeping an eye on it, and Blaine was the first one to notice when it came back up. Gustavo, remember this moment. This dice will be used so very well. You don't even know.

Announce your voice. It was not. Just wait. This is foreshadowing for the best use of an inspiration die. It'll be like, Tov wants to do a jump out of excitement, and then he fails. And he doesn't get anything. As Gunther wafts in. out of excitement and then he fails. And he doesn't get anything. He doesn't get anything. He doesn't get anything.

He doesn't get anything. As Gunther wafts in, you all see this, but he doesn't because his eyes are closed. Oh no. Smash K. Gunther walks firmly into the backside of an orc who's standing very upright with good posture. Who's wearing clerical vestments

that seem to be made of some kind of maybe rat skin. Oh. The size, I'm sorry, the size of this means that Gunther went into his butt. I'm just kidding. I said backside, but yeah, that's essentially it. Like face into derriere. It's just like he's taking deep breaths with the wind.

I found the wind. No, like, ah. The source of the wind. He turns around when Gunther bumps into him, and you see him wearing a glowing silver ring and he looks very intensely at the four of you and says, Have you come to help purify this world? Yes, are you not?

Oh, excellent. I'm here to spread the word of purification and recruit people to help make the world pure and clean once again. Is your name Brita? Hmm, just curious. Oh no, no, no. You can call me Preacher Reggie.

He reaches out a big hand. Well, I guess it's about the same size as yours. You're both orcs. And grasps your hand told, and begins shaking it very enthusiastically. Ooh. Hi, how do you purify? What is your method?

We must purify through pure thoughts and pure actions and lots of scrubbing. Oh. Are we talking, oh, Natty pokes her head in. Are we like scrubbing? Are we talking about like with suds and water and alufa? Or is there like a, is it symbolic scrubbing? Are we talking about like with suds and water and alufa? Or is there like a is a symbolic scrubbing? Like uh smelting silver you know purifying and refining out the impurities

Oh just taking the pure part There's a lot of silver theme in this place huh Yeah Silver's pretty great Preacher Reggie are you like a demigod or are you just like a dude? Oh, I wish I can only aspire to such heights I am but a mortal servant in this world of higher powers. Oh cool Which a higher power do you like to serve? Pure box

I was about to ask for rolling on insight on that BS. I serve the Wind Trader. Yeah, we just met him. Good news, you can meet your hero. Who led us here? Oh yes, he has been a boon to us and our work here. A boon? We know one of those. Wait, are you my family? He has been a boon to us and our work here. A boon?

We know one of those. Are you my family? That's what happens when you shave a bugbear. Look like orcs. He's been very helpful. What are you smelting? I'm I'm I'm uh skilled with blacksmithing. Oh we are smelting silver. I'm sure you've seen it all on the walls of this mine.

So you're taking the silver from the mine and then are you making like currency or like something else out of it? Well, we make whatever we need you see. All of the silver in this mine belongs to the Wind Trader and we are his vessel to help gather it and do what needs to be done through purification. What does he give you in exchange for the silver that you give him? Favorable winds of course. Oh favorable winds, okay.

Ah, that is what we have too. Oh, you have been blessed by the Wind Trader? We have. Yes. Fortunately we were not cursed by broken wind if you know what I mean. We're not cursed by broken wind, if you know what I mean. Yeah, I've been told Pio definitely has cursed winds a lot of the time. But yeah, that's actually what led us here, is these winds. Perhaps the Wind Trader deemed it necessary for our paths to cross.

Have you crossed paths with any others on this day? Those, maybe maybe who were? carrying another well We are hard at work here with our silver mining and purification I'll tell what everyone make me a just a perception check tell me what those numbers are Okey-dokey isn't that 20 big 30? 22 critical fail

Big 30. 22. Critical fail. I also had a critical fail, but I have a plus five, so it's a six. I must still have my eyes closed, because I have a bonus three. Yeah, so three of you not great rolls. You all see this, Natty, your roll is definitely better, but this room is dimly lit by flickering lamps and it's got that same dusty air and shiny cave walls. And besides Preacher Reggie you see

there's several Gryllp that seem to be walking around the room mining on the walls and the ceiling and in this room there's three exits one to the north one to the east and one to the west you all came in the one from the west and the Gryllps aren't alarmed by our presence they're not like turning to fight us or anything. They seem to be ignoring you. They're very focused on their mining efforts. Are they part of... Are they Undarian or are they just kind of a bystander

that have been drawn into the fight? Would I know that? Would Tov know that? Yeah, they are Undarian. Mmm. They're mining on the wall and the ceiling, you said, right? Yeah. Stay that hand, Nati.

Why are you looking at me? I'm just saying, I'm just saying, you know, there's a lot of bad guys around. I know here you are. It does maybe look around the room and see, like, what else? There might be like, is there anything else like they're putting the silver into or any other like supplies or anything like that in here seems like they're just kind of for lack of a

better term like extracting it from the walls in the ceiling would be like a pickaxe or like mining that way yeah and there's like a bin on the eastern side of the room near the door to the east that they seem to be collecting all the ore into so we are looking for someone who is dirtying the world. They are not purifying. They ran off after baking a big dirty mess. Oh no. Have you seen them?

Private parts. He was wearing a uniform. He was a nice looking fellow with skin. Probably very sweaty as well. Sweaty, sweaty with skin. Wet. Um, he had been wet. Ooh, with skin!

Yes, and hair. And then, uh, the Baron was, uh, big hairy with big horns. And, uh, dirty. Not pure at all. No, I don't believe so. We've been hard at work mining and purifying here, so I can't say I'm familiar with what you are talking about. Can I do an insight check?

Sure. Vibe check. Vibe check. Yeah, can you do the same? Sure. 22. Oh, what are you trying to get insight into specifically? If you could tell that they're maybe being untruthful or trying to hide something.

They are working side by side with Gryllps, which are Undarians. Yeah. That's a 20 for me too. So yeah, 20 and 22 it looks like for me and Gunther. Yeah, it doesn't seem like he's being deceitful about what that statement. Hey, uh, Reggie, you keep talking about this purification. I feel like you're dodging the specifics and literal sense of what it is. And I get, you know, when you're talking about your religious stuff, you can be very ethereal

and esoteric. But like with the purification, are you just purifying silver or is your intention to purify individuals who are doing things like you discussed having impure thoughts or impure actions? Well, it's all important in the end, is it not? We can purify one and then purify the other. Yeah, you dodging that question again, you little, you slippery little eel. What you doing?

Who you purifying? Who you purifying? What they doing? Slippery little eel. Purification is a benefit for everyone, right? Yeah, you still don't answer my question. I get it. I get you don't want to say it because it's uncomfortable.

Okay, it sounds like you might need purification. You need to be purified. Sir, that is not something you say to a lady. Okay, that is not something you say. You need to watch yourself from purify your mouth. Okay, with soap. Can I pull Reggie to the side? to watch yourself, Rump. Purify your mouth, okay? With soap. Can I pull Reggie to the side? Sure.

Listen, Reggie, okay? You're not going to go toe to toe here with Nady, okay? She's going to get it out of you one way or another, okay? So let's just cooperate. We're all cool. We don't mean any harm. We're just curious. We're just pure, foreign-divisuous. Super pure. The pure foreign individuals super pure the purest fresh off the presses make a persuasion check for me and while you're doing that blaine i'm gonna remind you i read this in the previous episode but i should read it as a reminder in this episode as well i described reggie as an orc with good posture and he's wearing clerical vestments that seem to be made of rat skin and he's wearing a glowing silver ring and uh he was delivering a sermon when you all walked in yeah i have that written okay uh what was that persuasion check uh 12 16 perhaps uh you

are right i should acquiesce and learn when i need to be purified, as well as deliver the purification. Honesty is the purest policy, that's what I say. Yeah, and you know, sometimes you just gotta look in the mirror and really recognize, you know, the person that you are deep down. So, let's just stop mincing words. Who are we purifying? Because I wanna know if I'm on board with you, because I wanna be on board with you.

I like making friends. I just made a friend with your guide. He's over there behind that fake wall, and we just had a good old chat He likes us. Yes, ah true true. Oh Well, you see and he kind of like looks down at his shoes and then looks back up at you Natty I don't actually know what I'm talking about Just sounds kind of good. Yeah, everyone's used to be going along with it, so...

Mood. It's kinda working for me down here. Please don't ruin it. We're not gonna blow up your spot, Reggie. I totally respect the game. I think I found an NPC I like. We want to thank Rocket Money for supporting our show. I've been using Rocket Money for a little while now and there are so many subscriptions that I had that I completely forgot about and it's been very helpful to identify those and cancel them, saving me a good chunk of change here and there. You know you sign up for something forget about it after the trial period ends and then you're charged month after month after month the subscriptions are there but you're not using them.

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in all of podcasting, Eric Silver, and my cast of rowdy players as we craft tangible worlds, share genre-pushing storytelling, and so much more. Marathon our completed campaigns, a pirate story set in a world of plant and bug people, a monster of the week game at a weird and wild summer camp and a modern superhero epic. And stay tuned for our next adventure starting very soon. We even have monthly after party episodes where we answer your questions about the story and let you see behind the scenes about our show.

Whether you're a long time tabletop RPG player or you've never touched a d20 before, you're welcome to join the party. Head to join the party pod.com or subscribe to join the party. Head to jointhepartypod.com or subscribe to join the party in your podcast app right now. I have a question. Can Gunther, I guess he still has his eyes closed to some extent. Does he feel the wind still pushing him? Or like see anything being blown in a certain direction? Toll of is just blowing on the back of Gunther's neck.

Doug and Gunther, both of you make perception checks, I guess, to try to figure it out. Does anybody else ever take this? Might just mean be telling on myself. Does anybody else ever take videos of something when it's quiet and then you listen back to the video and all you can hear Is your heavy breathing and you're like, is that how I sound I hate that I hate that so much Yeah, that have a lot back at the old company we worked for where people would film like a day in the life videos and the person filming you just you're like The camera there bud.

I filmed a video of my dog in the snow the other day. And then I played it back. It was like, I'm not even doing anything. I'm just standing there. I think that's just, I think we're old. I think that's what it is. It could be. I rolled another one by the way.

Oh great. Well, I rolled a 20. Ooh! Doug, you feel like the wind is pushing you to the eastern exit. And Gunther, you feel like it's pushing you to the northern exit. Ooh! Where's the wind blowing me? Oh, oh because someone failed. You know, I think it's just because, you know, I got a lot of hail and fall, specifically.

And I think the wind, I can't really tell where it's coming from, because all my fur is just getting blown all over the place. Gunther, do you have an idea where it's going? The wind is blowing into the north that way. And I point, do you need help purifying anything in there? Well, Reggie, do you know what are these these exits going to? And Natty points to the two that are remaining. Like where do those go?

We are looking for the purest path. And then I give him a wink. We can drop that. This guy is not about that. He's just that was just- We have to keep up the act because there's Jimmy Carter's in the other room. And then these crumps are whatever they're called.

Or hair. Crumps. Grilp. Yeah, potato, potato. Crumps. Natty turns to Doug and goes, whatever they're called or helps. Grilp. Grilp. Yeah, potato potato. Grilp. And Natty turns to Doug and goes, I think you and I are the only ones who got our eyes open, our ears open.

I know, I can't really tell where I'm going right now, Natty, I'll be honest. Well, to answer, I think it was you Natty, to answer your question, Reggie tells you, well, to the north there's more mining. Okay. And to the east is a giant mural wall that continues down a passageway There's a lot of murals in this this mine. Well now I'm curious about that

I like art, you know, we are not hurry because of because of private parts. Oh, I forgot we got a dude that's dying Wait, aren't you the leader? Oh, oh, you know what? Thank you Tov and with that I I release myself from the leadership, I bestow them upon you Tov. Oh Thank you. You did not injure reign as leader under the best of circumstances. You know what? We gotta have another talk. You've been so judgy lately. I don't know what's going on. I thought you were the king of Pilatnus and care. Hey, do you wanna hug it out? This is me coming to you. Palms open. I'm vulnerable, I'm here for you. I don't want to be mean, I'm just saying like, if this is going to reflect on your, you know, performance,

the last time Private Parts will have seen you, you were a leader when he got abducted. So I'm looking out for you, Nadi. But if you want, I will take the leadership. You know, I want to give people the benefit of the doubt, but I still feel like you might be inadvertently lacing some of these words with a little bit of judginess that maybe we still need to work on that, okay? That is my bad. I do not mean that. I'm so sorry. Because I just want to point out, I managed to get into there, meet a demigod, convince him to help us, and now we're on our way to find private parts. just want to remind you that in case you forgot daddy. Will you forgive me? I will always forgive you for forgiveness I'm so sorry. Okay, that's a hug

Time is of the essence right now Purification accomplish what's what what we roll for hug? now Reggie you want in on this hug? And and and and nattie picks up Gigi and To Tovins is he needs a case who can forget Reggie? So much of your beliefs are just in believing not in knowing Wow And that's okay, and that's true belief

He whispers to Doug nothing Okay, it's okay, okay, so Really quick. I think we should hit the mural. Okay, a lot of good art around here. Reggie, do you happen to have any insight on who made all of this art down here? We're seeing them all over the place and it's just curious. Did O and D do this? O and D?

Sorry, Severance references. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. We've been talking Severance and Stinky Pop, so it's all in my head. Well, of course, the Chaste chain is responsible for all the murals here. Chaste Chain? Yes. Who is the Chaste Chain?

It's a faction I'm a part of. We are operating here in this area gathering lumber above and silver below. Oh, so you made some of these murals? Well, not me specifically, but my companions. Are the group's chase chain? Are they part of that crew? Yeah, they help us and they serve us. What are the murals like really depicting? It depends. That's up to the artist. You should really check them out for yourself. If you were impressed by the one by the wind trader, you'll really love the one to the east. Okay. Are y'all responsible for the font that was at the up on the ground floor that was

dedicated to the wind trader yes of course so pure so beautiful yeah the wind trader or the font oh pure yeah hey I got a question then if you if you know about that font what was in what was? It wasn't water, what was it? Are you going to make me load another episode? Yeah, I am, because I want another answer to that. Let me go back. Because we just listened to the episode where we talked about it, and I'm like, I want to know.

This ain't going to be another inkwell. I want answers. Yeah. The font itself was filled with the essence of purity, of course. You're talking in symbolism again. I need some literal answers. I'm a very plain girl. Only the pure may enter the chambers below

through the font. Does that mean whoop you? Oh, wait. Was it like the wall? Ah, Helvetica. That is a good font. That's good. That's good.

We didn't enter through the font, right? No, the floor opened up and we fell down to our fight to the bear. Sacred font of the wind trader translucent water hard as rock, but not ice silver coin wind lines. That's sorry That's what I had written down. Yeah I'm a bit of a note taker now You know me Kyborg of you just now That's the voices weird like with like with Inside Out, our characters

are inside our head that are operating all the buttons that do stuff. What was that liquid in the font? Oh, an entrance for the pure into these passages lies within that font. Is it like the wall that was in the room we were just in? Similar. Yes.

Similar. OK. So portal. Portal based. There is a, let's call it a test of sorts. Ah, okay, okay, thank you, I love answers. That makes sense because, you know, for some of us, maybe it was, you know, you could go through it,

like the vault in the previous episode. Anyways, okay gang, let's go down to the mural. Reggie, are you going to be joining us? No, but I would like to join you in pure spirit if you'll allow me. Yeah, go nuts. Nattie readies like an Eldritch Blast in her hand. Like Gambit charging up a card in his hand. Nattie's doing that.

Preacher Reggie puts his hands together and then puts them forward in front of you all and says, Mmm, bless these four travelers who have been chosen by the Wind Traitor so that they may become pure vessels. And with that, a little puff emits from his ring and settles over you four. Nanny holds her breath. What do we feel? Do, do we notice anything, anything changed? You feel like it's a little puff in the little cloud. It has a smell to it. It's got an aroma. Nanny's still holding her breath, I'm telling you. What does it smell like?

Doug wants to smell. As it settles and as it begins to go into your nose and your nasal passage, it reeks. It's like a really bad, cheap perfume. It's just like, maybe the oils in it have started to like go bad. It's just so you're saying it's stinky. Yes. It's a very stinky offensive odor. Is it like supposed to be smelling good and it went bad? Like, is that what you mean? Or is it just like fart and sulfur?

Do you know how this reads to me? This reads to me like a priest who's held on to their like anointing oil for too long and the oil has gone like rancid, but they're still using it for their like religious practices. That's what it reads to me. Preacher Reggie opens his eyes and takes a big sniff. Ah, purity. Wow.

Thanks for the JCPenney perfume sampler. Okay, let's go gang, chop chop. Thank you Red Sheep. Thanks. Uh, can I, can I go and, um, I guess salute with the little stool kick thing? I'm worried about private parts that we should dally. That's why I said let's go to the mural

so we should get going. All of you make a perception check for me before you get going. While we're making that perception check, Gigi smells the noxious thing and decides to reciprocate with a fart towards it. Wow. That's a four. But the winds say to go to the north. Incredible aromas.

21. 19. Mr. Boon? I got a 21. Oh, okay. All four of you look around. Gunther doesn't realize it, but the other three of you do. Now that the, uh, that puff and that aroma has settled over you guys, you all look really

clean. It's like you've, uh, you took a bath or something and straighten yourselves up. Uh, you're all looking pretty good. Short rest? Any change meta wise? Magic food? No. Yeah, just, uh, yeah, you got the Riz.

Okay. Okay. The winds, I felt them and they pulled to the north. Yeah, we know that. We just want to see some art. So we're going to go. We're going to follow. We're going to follow our leader Tove where he takes us. Just a quick stop by the the mural. I don't think it will hurt us.

You know, we've been finding so many cool bits of information at the murals. Yeah. Got their salutes and falls in line. I don't know if I've mentioned this, but I think metagame wise, Doug would have probably sketched each mural that they've seen so far in his little notebook. So he has like a rough drawing of what each one would have been so far.

That's good intel. Way to go private Doug. Thank you. Also private. Also private. Yeah. Tov. What's Doug. Thank you. Also Private Tove. What's your last name? Just Tove. Oh, okay. So kind of like Madonna, Beyonce.

A little bit, yeah. I consider myself kind of an icon, a bit of an artist, yeah. Okay, Private Tove. Gunther, do we know your last name? No. Okay. Well, wait, I don't know.

I don't know if you've mentioned it or not. Well, we know that Dad had a last name, didn't he? Wasn't it Windbreaker? Yeah. Yeah. Because I think we've learned your parents' names. Oh boy. All right. To the mural. My name is Tove, members only jacket. Windbreaker. I don't know. That one went right over my head. All right. Going to the mural. Here we go. What do we see? Alright, so what's your marching order? You know, you go to this door to the east, and what's the order you're going to go through it? I don't mind leading. I'll go behind.

I'll go last. Okay, so it's going to be 12 Gunther Natty Doug. And before I open the door, I would like to check for traps. Alright, make an to check for traps. All right, make an investigation check. Okay. Go. I won't lead you astray, team.

That's a 10. Nope, nothing at all. Great. Kicking the door down. Here we go. All right. So this door to the east is, it's like a sliding iron door.

And you go to open it and it doesn't budge it appears to be locked. Got my iron key from earlier? Yeah. I can try on it? Yeah. You use that key and the door makes a very satisfying click and unlocks and slides away to the side.

Ooh la la. Alright. Oh, real quick. I never do this, but I should do it as a good little warlock. I'm gonna cast Armor of Agathys on myself. A protective magical force surrounds you manifesting as a special frost that covers you and your gear. You gain five temporary hit points for the duration.

And if a creature hits you with a melee attack while you have these hit points, the creature takes five cold damage, lasts an hour. Nice. It helps with detection skills. Agatha Christie. I was wondering where that was coming from. I was like, I don't see that. I thought you were gonna do Agatha all along. Oh no.

Okay, cool. Yeah, so you slide the door open, 12, and you look and it's almost like this is a long hallway. So it goes for a little bit to the east in the direction you're facing and then curves and is a long hallway to the north. The air in this passage, unlike the other ones you've been in so far is clean.

It's not all dusty. And there's iron walls with symbols etched into them. And there's four exits, one to the northwest, one to the northeast, one to the northeast, one to the southeast, and then the one you came in from the southwest. Okay. So it's like, it's a long passageway to the north. Then at the top, it almost like T intersections

where there's a passage to the left and a passage to the right. And then part way up the hallway to the north, there's a passage that juts off to the east. What'd you say was on the wall? Runes or something? What was it? There's iron walls with symbols etched into them.

And then there's no mural? Well, you take a look at the symbols and it's almost like that is the art in this room. They're like crudely drawn symbols on the iron walls. And it appears like they're silver coins with wind lines. Three wind lines made of white chains. Chased chain was what they were called. Wait, along all the walls?

Along the Western Wall because there's no there's no door on that one. There's no passage on that one, I should say. And it's all of the all of the symbols are the same. The the silver coin with or the silver circle with the wind lines. I should clarify, just because it was confusing the way I said it. It's like almost like two different symbols all over the walls. There's like the silver coin with wind lines

and then separately there's also like three wind lines made of white chains. Okay, so that's just like tile wise decorating the wall. Yeah, I would say tile but it's almost like mosaic like all over the place. Okay. Okay, do we recognize this new symbol? I think that the three wind lines with white chains

is kind of a new thing. It's the same thing you were describing of what was on the coin, isn't it? Or are they different symbols? It seems like it's a different symbol. This is like wind lines made out, because the coin has wind lines. And these are wind lines that appear to be made

of white chains. They're similar, but there is like a difference. Like these wind lines are made of chains. The other one on the coin is not made of chains. That's what I'm saying. But the formation is the same thing. It's the squiggly. Like if we're looking at the tablet on the fifth element,

it's the same symbol. Sure, sure. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. I imagine it has to do with like some symbolism for the wind trader. It's the wind trader. Yeah, yeah.

That's what that's, I'm with you on that. Chased chain though is what you mentioned is what that faction is called. Correct. He's been making these different murals and stuff like that. Correct. Well, Tov, what we do? Well, checking in on private wind. Where is he blowing? Well, he was blowing us not to this room, remember?

Well, let's just see if he changed his mind. You know, maybe he rerouted it like a GPS, not that you guys know what that means. Make a perception check, private tolls. Okay. That is a nat 20, let's go. Now that's a leader. That is a leader.

You feel like the wind is pushing you generally north, like to the end of the, let's call it, hallway. So like up to the very north. And in the previous room, the wind was also directing Gunther north. So I wonder if it just wants to get us north. Yeah. Maybe the two exits combine at the end. Okay, gang. I'm not seeing artsy fartsy like we were all hoping. Sorry, there's no mural. I'll take responsibility. This is kind of artsy. No it's not a cool like guy drowning in the sea or like any like star map or anything fun. I'm gonna take personal responsibility for that one gang as your leader okay but I will find you new arts.

Let's go to the north because that's what the wind is telling us to do. Svend. Doug? Yes? Have you noticed Talv to the north because that's what the wind is telling us to do. The wind. Doug? Yes? Have you noticed Toll keeps talking to somebody that's not here? What do you mean? I thought he was talking to us. He keeps responding to someone that's not here and I'm not quite sure where he's going

when he does that. Hey, what are you guys talking about? Toll, you need to talk about anything buddy, you doing okay? Yeah. Do you doing okay? Yeah. Do you have voices? I mean sometimes, yeah sure don't you guys? Does a voice sound like a man named Vustavo by any chance? Yeah Vustavo, yeah Vustavo Rizzola.

Yeah I know him. That sounds like a pasta dish. Is that another deity that you worship you forgot about? Maybe you know it's been so long. Vustavo Vizzolo. It sounds like pasta. Yeah, you wouldn't be the first one told. OK, guys, we're going to go to the north once we're done,

you know, talking to each other about my voices. All right. I'm not offended, by the way. It's cool. That's fine. I just I'm concerned about your health. I'm always going to be concerned about you. Healthy as knocks. Doing great. So do we safely go north, Gustavo? Yeah, we'll say yes. You all go to the northern end of the passage. And like I said, at the top, it's

almost like a T. There's a door to the west and then a small passage and then a door going to the east. I think maybe we take the small passage because it's kind of telling us north, right? Well, do you want to maybe see if the wind is indicating any sort of direction? Private wind you're up. Here we go! Private wind. Perception? Yeah.

Ooh, that's a seven. Anybody else want to check in on private wind? I'll check. That's twenty-nine-seventeen. Way to go, Gunther. Gunther, you're really in touch with the wind. I'm impressed. I mean, his last name is Windbreaker. Oh that's true. Just don't break it. I was thinking maybe it's because he's like damp and he can feel it.

He feels it a little more easily. Yeah Gunther you feel like the wind is gently guiding you to the east. Gunther closes his eyes and follows it. Okay. So spiritual. Yeah. You follow it and you gently bump into a door. Oh, I found the way to the door.

Great. Is it locked? Yeah. You take a look and you can't appear to budget. And it looks like there is no handle on the door. There a keyhole? Private key, you're up. Private key. No, you do not see a keyhole on it. Can I look at the ground below it and see if it's, you know when a door opens, it like the dirt moves,

kind of creates like a, you know, semi-circle? Sure. Like for where the door turns, can I see if it like opens inward or outward, you know? Make an investigation check for me. One, I find nothing what door I still my eyes closed how sturdy is this door it seems like it's a an iron door it's a it's kind of sturdy that's like your captain I don't

want to talk about him okay like are there any who do I see any like weaknesses you know like any like weaknesses, you know, like any like hinges that could get blown off by like a cool hammer? Yeah, you begin taking a look for hinges, trying to see if there's something you could hit with a hammer toll. And as you're doing that, you see there's a, a marred sign on the door, something you hadn't noticed before you take a look and it's almost like it's hard to read, but you can see it like it ends in enter. Do not enter.

Maybe. Now there's usually a lot of like positive words in front of enter on an entryway. It's like y'all should enter or. Knock and enter. You'd be foolish not to enter. Yeah. Can I take a page out of a good friend

preacher Reggie's book and purify this here plaque and see if it says anything. Reggie. Reggie. So sorry. Sorry, Reggie. I don't know if you heard that. It's okay. Yeah. What do you mean by that?

Like how are you going to purify it? Just give it a wipey wipe. Yeah. See if it like takes any dirt or grime off so I can see the rest of the sign. You like pull the sleeve of your tunic up over the palm of your hand and like rub at it. Yeah, sure. Oh, Natty goes, I can help and just picks up Gigi

and just wipes his slobber all over the sign to wet it for him. Yeah. Make me a roll to see if Gigi's compliant or not. Yeah, let's see. Of course. 14. So, yeah, he is. Okay, I was gonna have him eat the sign if he failed. Well, I was thinking even if he wasn't compliant, it'd be like if you're picking up like almost like a, like a little dog that doesn't wanna be held,

you know that little squirm they do? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So no, but he's happy to do this. He wants to help. Yeah, there's lots of flavors on the door for Gigi. He goes, meal time? Just building up his immune system. Yuck.

Yeah, and you scrub at it a bit, I guess, Toll. And it doesn't clean up too much. But yeah, you think before the word enter might have been the word not. Oh, can't they hold up a piece of silver to the door and see if it does anything? Yeah, just like a currency silver piece? Yeah.

Good idea. Yeah. You hold up and touch the silver to it and nothing seems to happen. And we already checked that it's unlocked, correct? Yeah. It seemed to be stuck locked closed. Won't budge. Okay gang, so the Vind is telling us to go north, but this is a dead end I'd feels.

Well maybe we could go back into the other room where we met Reggie and then go north from there because maybe that's another way to go north but this is a dead end I feels. Well maybe we could go back into the other room where we met Reggie and then go north from there because maybe that's another way to get north. Inspiration die. Don't forget there is also besides the passage to the northwest out here there is another passage to the east out of here as well that you passed on your way up. Or should be coming back the way we went kind of right? No. You came from the south so if you went back down a little bit in this passageway, there's another pathway branching off to the east. Okay, got it.

Okay, but the wind was pointing us this direction. Yeah, correct. Yeah, I agree. We should maybe backtrack and go towards the original direction that our wind buddy was telling us. I think that's a great idea. I do want to point out,

we are going to have another awkward encounter with Reggie. So as long as you guys are cool. It's only awkward if you make it awkward. I'm very awkward. What if we do that thing where you know if you're like racing to get somewhere because you're late and you're like oh I'm so sorry can't talk I gotta get somewhere really fast but like I'll see you later like you, you know, still friendly, but also urgent at the same time. Brilliant strategist, my gosh. I've been in a lot of awkward situations that I've had to wheel and deal my way out of. We say the wind God is calling us to purify and must hurry. Okay, so let's go back down the hall

and then we're gonna just immediately take, I think, a right to the other passage to the north. All right, yeah, everybody cool? Yes. Alright, thumbs up. You begin proceeding heading you back down south down this hallway. Everyone make me a perception check. 11.

Nat 20 for 21. 30, 20. 25. Okay, some good rolls there. I had a Nat 20. So you gotta tell me everything. The three of you, everyone except Natti and Gigi, you notice as you are proceeding back down south

through the passageway that the wind shifts. And as you're passing that other passageway that branches off to the east, it turns and starts pushing to the east at that point. Oh, make up your mind, private wind. I guess we should follow that. I mean, I'm down if you are. That's spoken like a true leader.

Guys, we're going to go down. Let's go to the East. Come on. You got it, Lido 12. God, I can't over to the east. Yeah, I followed. Yeah, there's a door here and it appears to be another sliding iron door like the one you entered this passageway via.

Okay, private key, insert into the hole, do your job. It seems to be unnecessary. This one, you know, when you push on the door, it's like you're able to move it without having to use a private key. How do you use private key? It's gonna be real embarrassing if it becomes corporal key and you all have to, you know.

Salute it. Yeah, so you open up this sliding door and it reveals another, Chris got that one. Chris likes that one. I was just thinking about it. It'sheed mark because it's in the military. Oh that's funny. The sliding door moves aside and you see another passageway proceeding to the east and this passageway also has clean air and iron walls and there's tools and leather aprons hanging on the walls. There's two exits. So when you came in and then to the northeast.

So it's like a long passage. And then if you continue going east down the passage, then to the north, that's where the exit is. What kind of tools are hanging on the wall? You see leather aprons, tongs, molds, and bellows. So like blacksmith stuff? Yeah. Or silversmith?

Similar. Do you have blacksmith tools already, Gunther? Guthr, you need to restock. I thought I did, but then I found out that I didn't. But I thought you picked those up like from the underground passage where you got the Zodia thing. Barbara did because I thought I already had some.

Oh. I think I got thieves tools. I don't know if I have blacksmith tools either. You got smithing tools. Cause I remember I didn't pick them up. There's plenty here. Oh, I do have smith tools. OK, yeah, if you both want them, you have plenty here.

I guess, yeah, I'll pick them up and put it on as if I look like so that we shall look like we are cleansing. Ooh. Good idea. Fit right in. So what, you like take one of the aprons and put it on and keep the tongs, the molds, and the bellows in your inventory?

Yeah. Should we just put all those together as they're like just smithing tools or do we put them in individually? I guess you can just put like smithing tools if you want. But I would say keep the leather aprons separate because that's not like generally considered part of smithing tools.

Cool. Gunther, you're the only one doing that? I'll take a leather apron just cause I feel like that's a good disguise. I think they can throw out a good idea there. I just don't think it matches my outfit, so I'm going to abstain. Totally understand. I'm not going to take one either because, you know, we could just say

that we're escorting these guys to do their work. Let's say they're escorting us. Oh, fancy. You've got your best performers here. Then we're going to be talking for you guys. You got it. We're going to lie so good to deceive the pants off of them. Okay Chris once you're done that I think we could probably yeah. Yeah. No, I'm good. I'm ready. So let's go to that east door Alright private key

You I'll begin walking down the hallway and as you're walking told something in the leather apron keeps slapping your thigh with every step That you take there's like something weighing down one of the pockets in front of the leather apron keeps slapping your thigh with every step that you take. There's like something weighing down one of the pockets in front of the leather apron. Check the pocket. What's in here? You dig around inside of it and you pull out a spatula. Spatula? Yeah. It's a spatula that appears to be made out of red jade. And like the blade part is like half missing. Oh. Do I have anything in the other apron?

You check and the pockets in yours appear to be empty, Gunther. What you got, Tov? I got a red jade spatula. We're having burgers tonight, guys. Woo! That's probably not cursed. Does Doug recognize it at all or like see any significance in it? Doug, you've only heard of this and you've only read about this. You can't believe you're actually seeing this with your own two eyes. see any significance in it? Doug, you've only heard of this and you've only read about this. You can't believe you're actually seeing this

with your own two eyes. This is the spatula of searing. The spatula of searing. Which I know does. This magical spatula can heat metals until they glow red hot. Cool. That would be pretty useful.

But it seems weird in all the writings you've ever read about it, Doug, the blade should be whole. It seems like maybe it's only it's missing part of itself here. So like it's been broken? Yeah. Maybe the other piece is in the room somewhere. Or like one of the other pockets of the different aprons.

Aprons hanging out? Guys, fan out. We got to find the spatula. All right, let's go. Let's look for it. It's very important we check the aprons make me uh 12 make me a constitution saving throw okay is he getting burned by it right now that's a nat one uh inspiration die is this the one the the one

from earlier yep this is the one i would say that this is actually quite an important maybe roll. 24 call Jack Bauer. The spatula of searing seems to be getting hot in your hand and it's making you feel kind of queasy. Okay I'm gonna just put that down on the table. No table. Gonna put that down on the ground. Gunther uses the tongs and holds it. Okay. Wow. That was weird. Anyways, anybody else want to carry this spatula of burn my hand off? We can hold it for now. Can we look for the other aprons for it?

Yeah. The other part of it. If anyone wants to do that, you can make me an investigation check. I will also look. All right. 12. Four. 22. Ooh, it's a good roll. Yeah, you check, all three of you check some of the other or all of the other aprons that are hanging on the wall and none of them seem to have

anything in the pockets. I figure with that investigation check we check the whole room. Is that okay or do we need to do another roll for it? Yeah, sure. Yeah, you check around the whole room. There's really nothing other than the aprons and the tools hanging on the walls so there's really wouldn't be too much else to check. But yeah, you look around wherever you can and yeah, you can't seem to find anything else. Doug, I just had a thought. Since you know what this little doohickey is, are you able to maybe turn it off?

Would I have that knowledge of my, like if I'm familiar with this and I know kind of what it does to a degree, would I know anything about that? You don't think there would be any way to turn it off. Based on your knowledge of this artifact, you think that it might be malfunctioning. Oh, maybe because it is not the other piece. Yeah, perhaps if you had the right tools, you could mend it with your artificer skills.

But in its current state, it's not quite operating the way it should. I mean, I do have Smith's tools. Could I attempt to fix it real quick? Well, we don't have a thing to attach to it. We're missing the piece. Right. You're missing like a piece and or like a source of heat, like a fire or something to kind of heat that goo up. I'm sure some member on my team could, you know, make a fire or,

you know, have some type of fire spell. Right, guys? Right? Right? Surely. You have fire spells, you silly boy. Oh, I do. I got so excited for the spatula of sewing that I just, also I'm hungry, so it's just a little distracted. Okay. Well, let's, let's hold onto this important artifact until it becomes

pertinent for us to use it or fix it. But it's, it's affecting toll, is is it not he's holding with the tongs the the croak Yeah, okay. Well, I mean you're only gonna be able to do that until we're in combat and then you're gonna have to drop it So like maybe we should wrap it in like a leather and then someone carries it that might burn it as well We'll just hold on to the tongs until we need to drop it. Yeah, Gunther's got this Yes, he needs something to do. Maybe maybe Greggy knows. He said his name right? Look at you. Greggy? From kind of funny? No All right, where to now leader? We're gonna keep following that wind. We're gonna keep going eastward. Okay north north

Yeah, you go east and then the door is at the northern end of this passage. Okay, so we'll go to that door. All right. I want to also mention, I think Doug would be looking at every kind of like piece of the floor and like along the walls to see if there's a piece of the broken blade anywhere, any room that they go into. Just kind of like lightly looking around. Okay, yeah, that sounds good.

Passive perception. Yeah, so I don't know if you want me to roll a perception with every room we get into. What I'll do is intermittently, I'll ask you for them. Okay. But that door that had the sign that says something enter probably do not. Did there look like there's anything that this spatula

could have interacted with, like used to open it? Or if we could like Qui-Gon Jinn episode one it and just smelt through the door. I would say you weren't looking for that before, so you don't exactly remember, and you rolled a really bad investigation check. That's true, I did. So you wouldn't necessarily know that for a fact.

So you come up to this door and it's an iron door. And this iron door also has a sign on it. And the sign reads entrance only. Perfect. I wonder if this aligns like, if this is, we're about to enter the room we would have entered but through the correct path told leads to the way follow me gang So you open up the door? Yeah, I follow toll. Yes, and you're checking for traps after checking for traps Check for me

17 yeah, you check the door for traps and it does not appear to have any traps on it, aside from just the opening mechanism. All clear. Better safe than sorry. I already opened the door. You open the door and it opens up to a room with clean air. It's a circular room with iron walls, with a bloomerie in the center and the Baron standing over a table holding tongs with private parts strapped to the table.

Oh no. There's two exits to this room. The one you came from from the south and then one out to the west. Wait, a broomerie? A bloomerie. It's a conical chimney made of clay and there's pieces of silver slag nearby.

So many words I don't know. Like slag, bloom. It's involved in like the smelting of silver. And you said there's exits to the... West and to the south. And the one from the south is the one you just came in. Okay. And they're in the center of the room?

In the center of the room? Yeah, that's where the, the bloomerie is. And there's also the baron standing over the table, holding tongs with private parts strapped to the table. Have they seen us? Private parts sees you, but the baron does not at the moment. It appears like the Baron is trying

to interrogate private parts, asking, What do you know of the Pathfinder? Okay, Tolv, give us the plan. What are you, you're not private anymore. What are we, you're acting, dang it, I'd have private parts. Leader. That falls tied up.

Team leader. Super private at this point, yeah. Okay, so Tolv is going to take out his shield and then he's just gonna take out a javelin. And then with the javelin, he's gonna point at Doug and Gunther. And then he's gonna point down to the left of the door. You want us to sneak that way?

Hey, Doug, do you think Tov knows he's saying this out loud? Do you think he knows that? We all know that Toll likes to talk in Toll-Potion. And then I'm gonna point the javelin back at Nadi and then I'm gonna point it at me and then I'm gonna point to the right and say we're gonna go that way. I know that Doug is is sneaky so I'm proficient in stealth. That's true. Gunther nods, but then holds up the burning thing with his tongs, puts it in his apron. Yeah. Gives a thumbs up.

And then quietly pulls out his sword and goes, we should check for bonds for private parts for you might need help. OK, that's cool. I'm gonna throw the spear at the Baron. And Nanny, I think you should cast a spell and surprise him and then you guys jump him while we're distracting him. Okay. It's gonna be very cool.

Okay, you got it, boss. Okay, it's gonna be so good. Go team, okay, here we go. And then I throw the javelin. Have we snuck to the sides yet? Yeah, so I Okay, it's gonna be so good. Go team. Okay, here we go. And then I throw the javelin. Have we snuck to the sides yet? Yeah. So I think, Tollv, I think you would give them a chance to go out to their respective sides.

Yes. First, I'm going to answer Chris's or Gunther's earlier question about private parts restraints. Make a investigation check for me, Gunther. I do like the idea that... 14. Tollv tells us to go to sneak to the sides and then before we could even move, he throws the jowls. He throws the jowls.

Yeah. Gus is being a little bit too giving in like telling Blaine like, you want to do that after they move, right? Of course, of course. I see what that means. Yeah, aha, totally. So Gunther, as you're entering the room

and getting into position, you take a look at the restraints on private parts, and it seems like he's bound by leather straps to the iron table. Iron straps. Leather straps. Leather straps to the iron table. Iron table, sorry.

My brain heard the opposite. Iron straps to the leather table, guys. Leather table. How does private parts look? Handsome. Sweaty. Handsome, sweaty, okay. But like, healthy. But like healthy.

Why don't we worry about his state after we have been able to approach him? Let's go with this plan. Still alive at this point because he's asking being asked. Yeah. Maybe a little worse for the wear, but he's still kicking.

He's still sweating. Now he goes to where Tov told her to go. All right, everyone make stealth checks. Oh God. If I'm proficient, do I do two and take the best? No. no. Proficient just means you add your, like, skill bonus to it, or your proficiency bonus to it.

It should already be in D&D Beyond. Correct. It's just, if you're proficient, you get a little bit more. Because, like, it's a plus higher number. I only rolled an 11. Yeah, for example, your stealth is a plus four. If you weren't proficient in it, it would be a plus two. Yeah.

Right. OK. I rolled a 14. 21. I've disadvantaged on stealth, so I rolled a six. Well, he doesn't a plus two. Yeah. Right. Okay. I rolled a 14. 21. I've disadvantaged on stealth, so I rolled a six. Well, he doesn't need to be stealthy. That's true.

It's true? Oh, I thought you were moving off to the side with Natty. Well, I'm moving off to the side, but we're the distraction. Oh, I didn't hear that part of the- I didn't hear that part of the- Because we're going to attack them first, right? We're going to throw and cast spells and javelins.

OK. And then they're going to be behind him. So really, they need to be the ones that, you know, pass the stealth. I'm not pulling this out of my butt. This is all pre-planned. How this actually was supposed to go is they were supposed to go first. And then we go. Yeah, I don't, yeah. Do you want to pass leadership right now to someone else?

Almost, I'm almost there. Let's see how this encounter goes. Okay, I'm not saying you should. I was just asking if that's where you feel it. It's very stressful. I have a much deeper appreciation for your three episodes worth of leadership. You gotta walk in someone's shoes sometimes. Understand how those shoes feel. They're very small and

high heeled. I don't think the boots would fit him. I don't think so either. Sorry I can't hear you guys because I'm on the other side. So you all begin entering the room but for some reason y'all I guess you're looking at each other looking at the Baron almost everyone trips on rocks or their armor starts clanging, and the Baron's head shoots up and begins to turn around to look. But at that same moment, Private Parts begins shouting, I know where the Pathfinder is! I can tell you everything you need to know! And, uh, the Baron's attention is refocused on Private Parts instantly. Th-Th-Th-Th-Th-Th-Th-Th-Th-Th-Th-Th-Th-Th-Th-Th-Th-Th-Th-Th-Th-Th-Th-Th-Th-Th-Th-Th-Th-Th-Th-Th-Th-Th-Th-Th-Th-Th-Th-Th-Th-Th-Th-Th-Th-Th-Th-Th-Th-Th-Th-Th-Th-Th-Th-Th-Th-Th-Th-Th-Th-Th-Th-Th-Th-Th-Th-Th-Th-Th-Th-Th-Th-Th-Th-Th-Th-Th-Th-Th-Th-Th-Th-Th-Th-Th-Th-Th-Th-Th-Th-Th-Th-Th-Th-Th-Th-Th-Th-Th-Th-Th-Th-Th-Th-Th-Th-Th-Th-Th-Th-Th-Th-Th-Th-Th-Th-Th-Th-Th-Th-Th-Th-Th-Th-Th-Th-Th-Th-Th-Th-Th-Th-Th-Th-Th-Th-Th-Th-Th-Th-Th-Th-Th-Th-Th-Th-Th-Th-Th-Th-Th-Th-Th-Th-Th-Th-Th-Th-Th-Th-Th-Th-Th-Th-Th-Th-Th-Th-Th-Th- instantly. Nattie Nudge is told, throw it, throw it, you crazy man. Okay, okay, where we go?

Here we go, here we go, here we go, here we go. Stop throwing, here we go, just throw it. I'm throwing, I'm throwing the javelin 23. You throw the javelin and the Baron seems unaware of you and your javelin strikes true, hitting the Baron. I said that was a six doing six points of damage Was it getting modifier because it was a bit of a surprise attack. They were like whoa

You asking too much you got a surprise attack. That's the bonus I think the bonus should actually be now that you ask I think you should have advantage on this so roll it again to see if you crit because we know you hit let's roll again You know, I'm gonna crit. I didn't create. Okay, 23 So yeah, you're your javelin strikes to doing 61 points of damage I'm sorry six six six points of damage to be like no No, I did not accidentally say how much it points the Baron has you did Everyone thank you for that.

Honest to guess. Everyone go ahead and roll initiative. Really quick while you're rolling initiative, Natty grabs Tove, gets her hands right on his face, on his cheeks, pulls him right up to her face. And she goes, Tove, I need you angry for this fight. Okay? Okay. Okay. I'm gonna rage. Yes. Okay. And she goes, Tov, I need you angry for this fight, okay? Okay.

Okay? I'm gonna rage. Yes, okay? That's what I need for this fight. Is this angry enough? Yes, perfect, ease that. Just a quick question of clarity. Did private parts say I know where the Pathfinder is?

Yes. Yeah. Okay, so clearly this is an individual. Cause all we knew was- What do you know of the Pathfinder? The Baron knew was what do you know the baron said? What do you know of the Pathfinder? So we didn't know if that was like I see I see an object map a thing yeah, there is the potential that the That private parts knew we were about to spring an attack So he said something to distract the Baron could be that's a possibility

It seems like based on that yes, and also what Blaine said. I rolled a 16 for initiative. Thank you, Natty. Five. Ten. Sixteen. Doug and Natty, you both had 16. Which one of you has higher dexterity? It's 15.

And mine is 14, so you have higher. Okay. I have a question. I had fire vulnerability from like way, way back when. Oh, that's worn off at this point. All right. The Baron turns around with rage in her eyes and sees the four of you split up across the southern portion of the room. Nattie, you're up first.

Really? Okay. Kill, kill. Yeah it's just the sad thing. I wasn't thinking going first. I'm just recessing if there's anything else other than just shooting. I think we should get private parts and leave. I don't know if an expedition retreat is an option. He's kind of right next to the person we gotta fight. Yeah, I'm gonna hex the Baron. I hex ya! And I'm gonna put disadvantage on... I'll tell you what, I'm gonna ask you for something here, Natty.

Because you said that the person you're trying to get is right next to the person you're trying to fight. Make me a, let's call it a perception check here. Can do. That's 16. As you're, you know, I don't know how you communicate yelling across the room to Gunther trying to coordinate your plan. You notice something.

You notice that, you know, when the Baron turns around and is looking at you guys, Private Parts pulls out like a little hidden pocketknife and begins trying to cut cut at the leather straps and you see one of his straps is nearly cut all the way through already. Cool. He seems to be handling it himself. He's doing great. Great job Private Parts. Luckily it's not iron straps because his pocket knife wouldn't cut through that. I was gonna say yeah. Yeah. But let the table you just cut through the table instead. Okay yeah but I still hex the baron. Yep I'm painting a picture for you to do with what you will I love pictures hex gives me disadvantage gives them the disadvantage on Strength checks. I don't know nothing ever works these disadvantages because no one ever does checks in the middle of a fight

Okay, I wrote it down. Okay. Yeah, nothing else do so then I shall do I'm a blasted and I shoot an Eldritch blast at him. All right. You ever catch phrase of the season? Then I started blasting. I'm a blast him. 23 to hit. That hits.

All right. Seven force damage. The hex then does three necrotic damage. Then repelling blast pushes that Baron 10 feet back, which is good. I like them getting away from parts prep out. Sure. And then plus three damage for my agonizing blast.

So just so another three damage. Man, that's a lot. Nice. You did 13 points of damage. Yeah. I'm kind of cool. Well, well, well. 61 are you sure? 61 minus 13, you can figure it out for yourself. Or that's, that's how I did it. I was like, oh, okay. Oh, I know and then uh-huh well giggy get him ah my giggy

impression of murloc I you know what we said like early on like at the top of this like campaign like like oh you asked like who's gonna do giggy's voice I was like I'll do it but I like how it's turned into everyone just makes giggy sounds and so it's like taking turns where everyone just does little gremlin noises. It's fun. It is. It is. I agree. Yeah. The audience doesn't heard Chris's impressions, just a young British man. And we're like, no, Chris, my name is Gigi. No, Chris, not quite. Shall I follow?

I will never not picture the little monster on the side of the bus on the The Simpsons Treehouse of Horrors episode with Bart. That little gremlin monster on the side. That's how I picture Gigi forever. That's a good one. I think a stitch. Okay, so Gigi then is going to rush in for a good old... What does he do?

Bite? He bites. He claws. He claws. He bites. He bites. He claws. He claws. He bites. He bites. He claws. He claws. He claws. Now, Gigi's gonna do a scare. You should roll to see if Gigi's gonna do that. You should roll if your butt's big.

I like big butts. I haven't rolled this before. What's a 10 do, you think? I would think a 10 would be fail, right? One through 10 is the lower half, and 11 through 20 is the higher half. Okay, Gigi doesn't go for the Baron. Gigi goes and tries to scare private parts.

So private part needs to make a DC 10 wisdom saving throw. All right, I can do that. Give me one sec. I did not have private parts character sheet open yet. So let me open that. If anybody in the comments can help me understand how to use hex more advantageously, considering so much of combat throws are saving throws But it gives the combatant a disadvantage on checks and I just haven't successfully used it very much

It could help on things like grapple checks and things of that nature so you could and that's why I go strength That's why I go right like you mentioned strength. That's why I bring it up So it's all about like what checks could your other party members proc in combat that would then be useful? And that's what I'm saying is like, so far no one's had checks that have been really necessary. And so that's why I'm like. It's good to know though,

cause now if we have a grapple situation. Yeah. That's why I go that way. I do strength or dex, cause sometimes dex checks happen. Just cause that's a thing like, like physically. It was good.

I'll keep that in mind as going forward. Private parts rolled an 11, so he succeeds. So I guess like he's, you know, trying to cut his traps and free himself and Gigi locks eyes with him and makes a scary face. And private parts just kind of looks at him quizzically

as a drop of sweat comes down, rolls down his temple over his cheek. Okay. That's nice. Nattie still turns to Gig and goes, good boy. She's proud of him no matter what. Very sweet. All right, is that it for you Nattie?

I'm done. All right, Doug, step up to the plate. Doug, is he a question for Doug? Go ahead. Does he recall ever being frightened or like anyone being frightened by the Baron? Like the Baron using an ability or something to frighten people? Yeah.

Yeah, in our first combat? No. From your first combat you remember that it seemed like, it won't apply here necessarily, but the Baron was using like those obelisks to kind of slow you guys and stop people in Pinham and it seemed like the Baron was wearing armor that was maybe powered by those obelisks because you all destroyed one and a piece of her armor kind of like broken fell off. And those aren't down here are they the obelisks? Correct those were up one level where the people from the ruins of Rheazin are currently. Yeah I didn't know if there was like she brought some down

with her or something. No. Where they're pilfering the Teehee people's resources. The armor is still there. The rest of her armor's on, except for a black part of it that appears to have broken off. Well, I feel like I want to be useful here. And I touch Gunther on the shoulder, and I go, guidance. And I cast guidance on Gunther. It is Gunther, but thank you.

You know what? I'm going to let that one go. So for this one, I touch one willing creature, which I assume Gunther is willing. And before the spell ends, the target can roll a D4 and add that roll to one ability check of its choice. It could roll the die before or after making the ability check. And then the spell ends. And then before my turn ends, could I just do a quick glance around to see if I see that piece of the spatula? Yeah, make a, let's call it an investigation check.

Oh, man. Roll from a nat 20 onto a 2, so it's a 6 total. Yeah, you look around the room trying to find any pieces of red jade. But as far as you can tell, you don't see anything like that in the room that you're in right now. So the piece that's broken off is a piece of red jade that we would be looking for. Yeah.

Wait, it's red jade? Yeah. I thought jade was green. Is it the handle or is it like the spatula part? It's like the blade part. Okay. And jade can come in green, red, black, gray, brown, yellow, and white colors. I feel like all we've learned from this show, one of of the things we learned this show, is that all these precious stones

that we always thought was like one color, cause this is the same thing with like, there was another one that in another campaign that we thought was like orange, but like turns out it comes in like turquoise and all that as well. Right, oh yeah. Steven Universe was very educational for me

in rocks and geology. They're minerals, Murray. Is that what you're saying? Yeah, that's it. Okay. You done, Doug? and rocks and geology. They're minerals, Marie. Yeah, that's it. You done, Doug? Yes. Okay, so from a metagame perspective, Mike's been doing a little bit of reading while we've been sitting here talking,

and I'm going to read you something about Hex. John, you may be interested in this. Curious about the spell's intent? The spell is meant to be a classic jinx, the sort seen in folklore. It's useful in and out of combat. In combat, the spell provides some extra necrotic damage. Outside of combat, you could foil a cunning diplomat, for example, by casting the spell and imposing disadvantage on his or her charisma checks.

Oh... Does it have anything that notifies people you've hexed them? Or can you do it discreetly? I bet you could do it discreetly. I'd have to read the exact wording on this. Nothing in the wording says they know that it's happened to them. So it's got verbal and somatic components.

So they maybe might hear you saying it or they might see you like channeling, physically channeling it. Yeah, but you could do it discreetly if you want. You could try, yeah. Like they themselves will not feel anything It seems like that way. Okay, that is helpful to keep in mind. I will use hex more Strategically in that way, but told you're up after told is the Baron then Gunther. Oh you who?

Okay, based on that is earlier direction. I'm gonna get real angry Oh, you're never seen me so mad before. What did you think about to make you angry, Toll? Oh, iron clad. I'm gonna rage. Ah! This is for you. Private parts.

So I'm raging, that was my bonus action. I'm gonna have my war hammer out and I'm gonna be doing one-handed wielding and then my shield with the other one because I'm a little low war hammer out and I'm gonna be doing one handed wielding and then my shield with the other one because I'm a little low on HP, okay, and I'm gonna move myself towards the Baron and I'm gonna put myself between Her and private parts if I have the movement speed you that you should be able to do that That's no problem. She's 10 feet away from him now exactly. She's 10 feet tall probably That's a big wait wait, what kind of a race was she?

Was she an orc? She is a fiend. She's a giant hairy devil. And I go up and I say, you stay away from private parts. I am now the leader of this group and I shall not let you hurt him. And then I wink at private parts. And then I say, I hope your notes are coming out

as soon as you cut through that leather table. He gives you a thumbs up with his restrained hand. It's not a leather table! And then I attack. Alright. That's a fart. That's a 12. That hits actually.

Oh. Woohoo. That's a 7 plus 2, 9. Very good. That's a lot of damage. Oh, woohoo. Um, that's a seven plus two, nine. Very good. That's a lot of damage. Oh, thank you. And then I already did my bonus action, so... Yeah, I'm gonna stay put right there. Alright. Good job.

Nice hit. Yeah, good job. GG. Rawr. So it's the Baron's turn to reply, and she says... That's not a knife. This is a knife. Hahaha.

Feel like I've heard that one before. Nope. I just made that up right now. Oh, okay. Wow, very clever. And she's going to attack you, Toad, because you're right in front of her and you hit her. She, you know, still has that woodcutter's axe

that she's been using, and she takes a swing at you. Oh, I should equip my shield real quick. Hitting, I think equip my shield real quick. Hitting. I think it doesn't matter for this one. Hitting AC 24. Yeah, that'll do it. Does the the resistance to bludging, piercing or slashing damage

help me out at all? That's when you get the damage on the damage. When she rolls her damage, you take half of that. OK, OK. Yeah. Well, it's a hit. Well done. She does seven points of slashing damage and you take half of that. Okay okay yeah well it's a hit well done. She does seven points of slashing damage and you take half we always round down so you take three. Cool. She roars in anger and takes another swing with the woodcutter's

axe at you. Ah geez. And she rolls a one so she swings at you with the axe and it slips out of her hands and flies across the room hitting the door to the south then clattering down to the ground So now she also doesn't have it correct. I think he's looking at that axe She looks very angry it's okay you tried your hardest Hey told you don't need to be nice to her. I mean you you goofed up so bad All right, that is it for nice to her. I mean, you goofed up so bad. Barbarian, barbarian. All right. That is it for her. Gunther, you are up. Then after you, who is private parts?

All right. Curious to see what he's going to do. But yeah. Who? Which one? Me or Gunther? Private parts. Oh, oh. It's like I'm playing him. I need to figure out what he's going to do. I'm curious to know what's going to happen there. Can Gunther get to private parts without crossing past the Baron? Yes, just because Natti had pushed her back 10 feet,

so she's 10 feet away to the north. So yeah, from where you are, you're able to have a straight line to private parts. All right. Gunther wants to feel the wind while moving. With everything, all of his movements, he's still in tune with the wind. And you also have guidance as well on you. Yeah, double. But are your eyes open? And then wants to discreetly sneak towards private parts,

kind of low to the ground, and then pop up and then cut the handholds or whatever, the leather straps. Are you trying to hide from the Baron? Yeah, or at least not draw attention to the fact that we're cutting private parts free. Make a stealth check. OK, that's a 22. The guidance, can I save it?

Yes. Okay, I'm saving it. It's a concentration spell that lasts for like, remember, is it like 10 minutes or an hour? Either way, it'll be through this combat. Yeah, it lasts. Yeah. But once you use it, it's done.

Yeah, you get up there and, yeah, you're able to, since, you know, he had already been working on one of the leather restraints, you're able to pretty quickly help him with the other ones and get him free, Gunther. And it lasts for, Gunther lasts for a minute, which is 10 rounds, so that's plenty. Okay. Okay, that's what, I knew there was a 10,

it was like the rounds, that's what it was. Okay, and how much movement do I have? Can I like try and take private parts with me, pull them away? Your walking speed's 25. It probably only took you 10 to get here. So we'll say you have another 15 if you want. Yeah, can I try and pull private parts along with me?

I know I'm a lot smaller. To where? To the exit. Whatever is the path of least visibility from the bear. Make me a wisdom check, Gunther. Okay, I rolled a seven. All right, I'm gonna use that instead, that help die.

Guidance? Yeah, so that's a four, becomes an 11. Oh, nice. Oh, thank, Kevin. Oh, thank, Doug. You remember that the door you entered from the south said entrance only. Oh, okay, well then we're gonna try and discreetly go to the other door.

I don't know if that, that like thing that was holding up private parts can, it was like big enough where we can like sneak around it without being seen. It won't cover you the entire way to the door, but you can, you'll be able to get to the door. You have enough movement to actually get to that door to the west. Okay. Well then, I'll get to the... Can I open it? Yeah. You open it and in front of you is that passageway you were in before that dead ended in the door that said not enter. Oh, cool. Gunther goes... Wiggles his hands in the air and gestures like... I picture like Kermit the Frog with his arms up.

Shaking his arms. And you're pointing to the... To the exit with private parts. I assume cutting off the things was my action, right? Let's say that was a bonus. Then I want to attempt to dodge in case I get any attacks. OK. Or we don't. Hide. We're going to hide.

He's getting out of dodge. Yeah, typically you get the hell out of dodge. You're going to hide? No, I'll hide. I'll dodge. I, typically you get the hell out of dodge. You're gonna hide? No, I'll hide. I'll dodge, I'll dodge, I'll dodge in case I get any coming attacks. Uh, okay. I've never used dodge before.

It's pretty good. Matide used it. Private parts, don't do not worry. We're here. Oh, thank you, Gunther. The Baron did terrible things. I'm so glad you're here. Remember for your report.

He pulls out his tablet and begins writing down. Not write down. Focus on escaping. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So when you take the dodge action, you focus entirely on avoiding attacks. So until the start of your next turn, any attack roll made against you has disadvantage. And you make dexterity saving throws with advantage.

Okay, cool. Is that it for you? Yes. Yeah. All right It's uh, your turn guys. It's private parts turn. Yeah Cuz he's free. Yeah, he's free. He'll say uh, okay Gunther I've got your back and he like puts a hand reassuringly on your on your shoulder. Thank you I don't know if y'all remember this he's advantage. Yeah, he's kind of a support character. He's uh, he's helping you out Well Gunther accidentally dodges the hand. All right. We're back up to the top.

Nady, it's your turn. I think Nady just would want to continue to berate the Baron with attacks in order to secure our retreat. OK, don't forget, the Baron also like dropped her weapon and it's like clattering down near the south of the room. Gigi goes for the axe. I was gonna say. He's gotta.

And I don't think I gotta roll for that. That's not me telling him to do something. That's just in Gigi's nature. Yeah. Something shiny and sharp? Yes, please. Yeah. Yeah.

Can Gigi manage the axe? Like can Gigi wield it? Does Gigi have strength? Like have a strength score? Yeah. What Gigi manage the axe? Like, can Gigi wield it? Does Gigi have strength? Like, have a strength score? Yeah. What is it? Gigi's strength is... Do not judge one for being small. It's not good.

It's negative three. Oh, gosh. I would say, what is that, like a four? A five? Five. I would say he's able to pick up the handle, but the metal axe head drags on the ground. That is adorable. So, yeah, I'm gonna keep playing this in world.

If Gigi were to grab the axe and try to drag it towards the Baron, what would that result in, Gustavo? I mean, he could, I would say he's able to drag it, and how far is it? Yeah, he would say he's able to drag it and how far is it? Yeah, he would be able to get to the Baron. Okay, Gigi is going to attempt a swing with the axe on the Baron. What would happen? Yeah, I'd make you, oh man, I would probably make you make an attack roll at disadvantage just because it's heavy for Gigi.

An attack roll with any modifier? Roll a d20 twice and let's see where it ends up. That was a 19. Nice. That was a 19. Nice. That was a 19 as well. Okay. 219s. So it hits. Yeah, I would say Gigi is like dragging it

and then like does a full 360 spin and bring like he has enough angular momentum where the axe head comes up off the ground and hits the bear and right in the left ankle. Like the Olympians who like throw the things. Like a hammer throw? Yeah. Yeah, oh yeah.

The baby's got an axe. And wouldn't you know it? The Baron does not have armor on her left ankle. What's the... On that axe, what's the damage? Oh, I gotta look that up, don't I? Yes. 61!

The damage on that... Ooh. I want this to be overpowered so badly. Is this like she is she's like Achilles and her heel is like super sensitive. Yeah, just lops off her leg. Okay, roll me D12 damage. D12 plus one. How do you roll a D12? Oh, I have a D12. It's this little pentagon like shaped plus one. How do you roll a D12? Oh, I have a D12. It's this little pentagon like shaped edges one.

I put the dice up to the mic as though like the dice is gonna... I'm the D12. Five. Is that with the plus one? Oh, six. Yeah, so Gigi swings it around doing six points of damage to the Baron's ankle.

The Baron howls in fury. Ah! Natty just starts tearing up. It's like, they grow up so fast. The first they're walking and then they're using their first ax on a bad person. Makes me almost forget to use an Eldritch Blast. Uh, that's 13 plus.

Oh wait, you said 12 got hit. Yeah, 13 will hit. John, where you're shooting this Eldritch Blast, is it going to knock him towards where we're trying to escape? No. Okay. It's going to continue knocking them north. Yeah. Gotcha.

Yeah. Okay, Eldritch Blast. After Natty is dug, by the way. Okay. D10. That's a 9. So 9 plus 3, 12 plus the necrotic damage. 3, so 15 plus the 3 extra. 18 plus 10 feet pushback. Okay, at this point she's pretty much pushed back up against that northern wall in the room and she takes 18 points of damage. Despite

the fact you're hitting her with the Eldritch Blast, she's looking angrily at Gigi and her axe, or the axe. Done. That's it for Natty. Doug, you're up in 12. I have a metagame question. So for magical tinkering, one of the things I could do is have something emit an odor. And if there's something that I've smelled in the past,

am I able to recreate that odor? You're going to recreate the thing that the priest put on us? Perhaps. I feel like if it says you get to emit an odor, as long as you know the odor, you can emit it. Is this an organic thing or is this like a spell? Like you have a magic colon or something? No, it's like the tinkering, the tinkering.

Kind of like what she did to your axe or hammer. Cool. I'd say sure, why not? Yeah, okay. I just want to test something. Yeah. By the way, I should say before you do anything, Barbara, that the Baron seems to be bleeding quite a bit

and heaving, like she's starting to have trouble standing up. I know this might sound a little hypocritical, but I think we should try and not kill her. What? Why? Character development. Well, I wanted to do this with the magistrate, but some unknown God named Vastago made us kill her

no matter what, kill the magistrate, him, no matter what. So I'd like to question this person and figure out what the Pathfinder is. Okay. Well, then maybe I will try this, Dan, instead of trying to really knock her out. My understanding is as long as you say you're doing an attack with the intent of not kill, you do that. Correct.

Okay. So that's all you got to do. It's like non-lethal damage is what we used to call it. I don't know if that's still the term. Okay. Then I'm going to attempt to just shoot my crossbow with the intent of not doing lethal damage. Sure.

To be very clear. On her other ankle. Gigi doesn't know how to do that yeah ever the like for example if you were swinging a sword instead of swinging hitting with the sharp part of the blade you hit with the flat of the blade things like that okay shooting across bow I assume you're going for a fleshy part and not a vital the next I'm going to the other ankle so that like maybe it'll hinder her ability to move or walk or anything like that.

All right, go ahead and roll that. Shoot my crossbow, hit an 18. That hits. My god. And that would be doing five points of piercing damage right into the little tendon. Ooh, ouch. Yeah, you hit the Baron in the other ankle.

Yeah, she drops to her knees and looks at you angrily shaking her fist. Oh, not so powerful now, are you Baron? Hmm. I mean, unless you take offense from that and want to retaliate, I didn't mean it. I mean, we both have negative way. He was almost bowled for a moment, just for a moment. Standing on business. Wow. His anxiety got the better of him.

Yeah. So when you say the Baron is now down, are they incapacitated or still fighting? Still fighting. Okay. Is that it for you, Doug? And then I'm gonna move closer to where Gunther was indicating the exit.

To the west. You would be able to get all the way there, if you wanted to. Okay, I'm not leaving the room, but I'm going all the way to that. To the door? Yeah. Okay, all right. I assume room, but I'm going all the way to that. To the door? Yeah.

Okay. Alright, I assume that's it for you, Doug? Yes. Toll, you are up with a very injured Baron just a few feet in front of you. Okay, I'm gonna get my Warhammer, but the non-lethal side of my Warhammer, which is just the other side of my Warhammer. It's the handle. And I'm gonna attack with that non-lethal one-handed.

Oh, that's an 11. You're not quite proficient, I guess, swinging the warhammer with the stick side. So you miss when you're trying to hit her. Yeah, sure do die. Storm Aura, you get a 10 foot aura effect when you start a rage and as a bonus action, it actually returns when activated one creature of your choice. Your aura takes lightning damage. Do it.

So I'm gonna do that instead. Not to kill. Pikachu. Yeah, I'm just gonna do a Pikachu. It can be like resuscitating lightning if it came to it. Yeah, yeah. Oh, when you die, I'll remember that.

Yeah, yeah. It kills the bear and then brings him back to life. Yeah, this is also nonlethal. All right. Go for it. Oh, I got to make a dexterity saving throw. Five. Yeah. What's the five? What's the role of the five? Is that damage? That's damage.

DC 13, half damage on success. I rolled a two, so that's a failure. Woohoo. You rolled like poop. Number two. So that's five points of damage.! You rolled like poop, number two. So that's five points of damage? Yeah, non-lethal, of course. Your storm aura activates, lightning flashes out, striking the Baron, and she falls face forward to the ground. Guys, I think we did it.

Private bars, did you see that cool thing we just did? We're here to rescue you. From behind Gunther, You see a thumbs up emerge Very good, we shall make them not attack us the thing that was tied up that had private parts tied up Is there we could put the fairness in it? What's the noun the item? What was it called? It was like a like a box a table a table. I'm looking at Barbara. She's motioning. It looks like a table.

So you can use a table to tie the Baron up. Can I help Chris? Do you need help? No, no, no. We got charades going on Barbara. It's a strapping mummy kit. Yes. A mummy kit. It's just leather straps with the iron.

You even said strapping. Strapping mummy kit. I know we cut the straps, but can we use rope or something or anything else to tie up the bear and her tie her up? John's head is in his hands. Yes, it's sweating. Let's, he's filling his best private parts impression.

I just want to remind everybody that as of right now, his primary job is to talk into a mic. All right, yeah, you managed to incapacitate the Baron and you tire up and restrain her. And so I know your aim is to kind of interrogate here. So what's the first question you all want to ask the Baron? Why are we fighting each other? The Baron looks at Gunther, opens her mouth and says...

Find out next week on the next episode of Chelsea Sticky Charges. She's gonna wait a whole week to tell us? Man, patience. Well, I mean, that's meta game wise. In game it's like instant, but you know, you tune in and find out. Technically two weeks. I'm just imagining like the visual in my mind is this humanoid and we're in this cave and all of a sudden it like turns and morphs into exactly

your face Gus and says yeah nice thing. Wee woo wee woo new merch alert the Council of Barbarians and the Stinky Dragons Spring Collection have arrived at store.stinkydragonpod.com. Get extra stinky this season with a Council of Barbarians tee, new vibe check hat, Prestidigitation tee, and more. All profits go towards paying for healthcare, dog toys, and maybe if there's leftover some uncrustables. New episodes are titled from the Stinky Dragon premiere every other Wednesday wherever you stream podcasts and on the Stinky Dragon YouTube channel. Want to listen to the show 48 hours early and ad free? Become a patron at StinkyDragonPod.com or become a member of Beacon at Beacon.tv. Both memberships

support this show and receive access to our exclusive bonus series Second Wind and a member only discord for their respective platforms. Become a patron and and receive access to our exclusive bonus series, Second Wind, and a member-only Discord for their respective platforms. Become a patron and you get access to even more exclusive bonus content, the Stinggadragon community, Discord events, and you might even get your name shouted out like Big Matt, Gabriela, at NauticalSOS, that's Gabriela by the way, Brian Rolka, FICO, at FICO3878, I want to talk to you about my score, and Caitlin Elizabeth. These patrons directly support the show and get ad-free episodes, access to our patron-only Discord server, bonus content like Second Wind and behind the screen, and much Elizabeth. These patrons directly support the show and get ad free episodes, access to our patron only Discord server, bonus content like second winter behind the screen

and much more. In fact, here's a quick peek from behind the screen. What were your thoughts going into creating your first D&D character? So going in, this is, take me back will you? Pre pandemic, pre all of that stuff. I remember going into this, not super excited because fantasy is not my thing.

He wants his wizards in space, dang it. Even when it comes to Star Wars, the Jedi stuff isn't the thing that interests me the most. It's always the smugglers and the bounty hunters and the space faring people and the hot Ewoks. Yes, super hot Ewoks. So I wanted to make a character that was like, it subverted all of the expectations of a fantasy setting.

And I was like, I'm literally gonna make a cyborg and his name will be Kyborg. Is there anything you wish you changed or anything you wish you knew better? Dude, I hate to say it. And I hate how in character this is. I know what you're gonna say. I wouldn't change a thing.

Can't find a single regret. Kyborg was like exactly like even when there was moments where I was like, ah, you know, maybe I could have done this in the moment. Two episodes later, I was like, I'm so glad I did that thing. Michelangelo, he looked at the marble and he saw the statue. That's right. Perfect. Chiseled.

Chip had a lot of regrets on how I played him. From a character perspective, love him. You're roguing. Chip had a lot of regrets on how I played him. From a character perspective, love him. You're roguing. I have a bunch of notes on Chip, but like Kyborg, love him. No notes. Again, that's stinkydragonpod.com. We can't thank you enough for your support that lets us make this show. Listeners who interact with us on the Stinky Dragon Discord had NPCs named after them

in this episode, like Preacher Reggie, named after Daden's, voiced by Jolie, at Low G's on Instagram and Twitch, the Baron named after Shieldmaiden, voiced by Hannah McCarthy, at Hi Hello Hannah, and additionally Private Parts, voiced by Ben Ernst, at Halcyon underscore Ben. This week's Error Question was submitted by ZTommy. Is that the French Tommy? ZTommy? This episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon was produced by Ben Ernst and written, edited,

and composed by Michael Reisinger with additional editing work by Catherine Arnold. Tune in next time for another thrilling episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon was produced by Ben Ernst and written, edited and composed by Michael Reisinger with additional editing work by Katherine Arnold. Tune in next time for another thrilling episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon. Alright, here's Doug on the ones and twos with our special guest for this episode, Gustavo Cirola. Seriously, I know it's been said before, long time listener, listen every week. Oh wow, what an honor. Thank you, Dungeon Master. Listen, how do you think today's going? I think it's going good.

I think we had some good interactions with Reggie. I'm very happy that Doug, you identified the spatula of searing. I wasn't sure if y'all were gonna find that. Well, you know, just Gustavo, since it's just you and me here and no one else is listening, you can tell me where the broken piece is, right? You can just...

You got your eyes peeled. I have faith in you, Doug, that you'll find either the missing piece or you'll find something that you can repair this with. All right. Well, thank you Gustavo. Coming up next on the show, we got someone calling in. They think that their long lost brother may be dead. More than that after the break.

Just kidding. Let's not include that because that is too close to home. Doug, so dark. Thank you for joining me on Mornings with Doug. Also, Afternoons with Doug. Yeah, Afternoons with Doug today. Private Boone, I need to talk to you about trying to bribe an official for information. Private Posh?

We can discuss this offline. Private Posh, where are you? Tell us where you are. It's the only clue we'll ever have. Leave your message at the end of the beep. I somehow called Private Posh's phone.