Tales from the Stinky Dragon - C03 - Ep. 14 - Brig of Endridge Bay - Tall Pub Crawl Fall

Episode Date: April 2, 2025

Brutaliteam levels up and has a wet & warm welcome to Endridge Bay Support us directly on Patreon https://www.patreon.com/stinkydragon - get access to ad-free episodes, bonus content like Stinky Dragon Adventures & Second Wind, our patreon-exclusive discord, and more! Follow us on our socials at https://linktr.ee/TalesFromTheStinkyDragon Cast: Gus Sorola, Blaine Gibson, Barbara Dunkelman, Jon Risinger, Chris Demarais Writer/Editor/Composer: Micah Risinger Producer: Benjamin Ernst Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Are you ready to be enlightened? Basketball Illuminati podcast. Join the illumination and keep your third eye open. ["The Last Post"] Fate is a funny thing. It's not a game of chance, like rolling dice on a table. Nor does it follow after us, regardless of our choices. But fate will find all those who don't act at all. Our four friends are running out of time.

Destiny will soon knock at the door. Are they ready to answer the call? What? Ring ring, everyone. Hello, it's your Dungeon Master Gustavo Cirola and I'm calling and I'm going to hit our four players with an arrow Wait, wait, I don't have an arrow you guys since the last episode have leveled up two levels So in lieu of a typical arrow

I'm gonna hit you with two level ups and I want each of you to explain to me How your character developed their new capabilities in world? Have you been training learning? What have you been doing? What's happened? That allowed you to gain access to these these new things? The floor recognizes Miss Dunkelman. What did he mean by running out of time? We're only 14 episodes in. What are we running out of what?

We started this recording like 10 minutes late. We're like really behind schedule. I appreciate it. If we stay on top of it. It's true. We did, we did. So yeah, I can take volunteers or I can call on the class. Should we roll? You can roll. Oh, you on top. It's true. We did. We did. So yeah, I could take volunteers, or I can call on the class. Should we roll? We can roll?

Oh, you can roll. Yeah, yeah. Chris, give yourself an inspiration die for raising your hand. I appreciate that. Oh my goodness. Today's wonderful. What is it, Christmas?

I rose my hand before Chris. But I wish for something else. Yeah, but we're used to you having normal lines of communication. Chris on the other hand, this Pavlovian dog, we want him to develop this. I rolled a two. I rolled an 11.

13. 15. Ooh. All right. See the good karma that comes from raising your hand. Maybe. So I believe a 15 was the highest, so go for it. Hello, I am Chris Damaris and I'm playing Gunther,

the level five spider. So go for it. Hello, I am Chris Damaris and I'm playing Gunther the Level five Yeah, crow folk a frog and Give me one second I Saw I was, Mr. Barbecue sauce. I was talking with Doug and Doug said that the brain is the most powerful organ in the entire body. And I said, that is how is that possible? And I work so strong to be strong. And then, and yet, and so I started thinking about that and I, and I work so strong to be strong and then and yet and so I

Started thinking about that and I and I slept on it and in my sleep. I began to train Using my mind in my sleep and I I trained every night while I slept using my mind And then today when I awoke, I learned that I can stronger. Not only am I stronger in that whenever I stab I can make us a pierce more. But also now I stepped twice. Oh, I believe if you ask Doug, he would say that's twice as good. I don't want to speak for him. Well, you know, like one times two is two.

So yeah, that's twice one. That's correct, Gustavo. Very good. It's voice and die for gosh. Yeah. I did not know that it was that when you go to battle, you could just stab twice. I had not thought of it.

Well, luckily you slipped a lot and you're able to figure it out. So thank you, Doug, for teaching me how strong my brain can be. Barb doing math as an adult in her 30s sounds a lot like me trying to help my children with math. I feel like there's a similar dynamic here with Doug and Gunther. It often ends in me going, let's Google this. I think that's one of the main reasons I could never have kids is because I couldn't, I could be of no help for their home.

I mean, that's where like Google and just the internet in general, just because, oh, okay. That's what the equation is for this. Yeah. I've got a freshman in high school now. So there she's into echelons of math that I'm like, I haven't utilized that in a while. I think all we do on this podcast is C squared

is equal to A squared plus B squared. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Got that down. Got that down. Pythagorean theorem, we should have that on a shirt for us. D and D. So Gunther, you can attack twice, which is very cool. What, like, did you gain any strength or stealth

or anything, Charisma perhaps? You need a little bit of that? No, I did not grow stronger with muscle, but I grew faster and more dexterious. Dexterious. Yo, I think Arthur just fell off a cliff. Dexterious. Meta-wise, I get Gunther just fell off a cliff. Dex... Teria...

Meta-wise, I get two attacks now. And then I also got the piercing feet. Oh, that's what you were trying to say. You can pierce feet? I thought you could pierce all kinds of stuff. That's a thick part of the skin. Not much willy-ho to really get like a whole piercing through there. Not, cause it's the skinny part where I, with the webbed toes.

Oh, that's true. But yeah, piercing feet, ability score increases, increases my dexterity by one. And I get puncture once per turn when you hit a creature with an attack that deals piercing damage, you can reroll one of the attacks damage die and you must use the new roll and then enhance critical

when you scored critical hit that deals piercing damage to a creature, you can roll one of the additional damage die when determining the extra piercing damage that the target takes. So for example, I just wanna make sure I'm clear on how that works exactly. You have a Rapier that is a piercing weapon that you use,

and the damage die on that is 1d8 plus seven. So if you crit, typically you roll two die, and normally we give one of them at maximum, so you would get eight plus 1d8 plus seven. So if you crit, typically you roll two die. And normally we give one of them at maximum. So you would get eight plus one D8 plus seven. But with this, you get eight plus two D8 plus seven. Is that correct? Yeah. Whoa, that feels powerful.

Well, that's when you crit. So it's like a one and 20. But now I have a one and 10 chance. One and 10 chance of it happening when I attack. You know, on a d20, that's 20 different numbers on one die. So if you hit a 20, that is one out of 20. So that is correct. Thank you, Chris. I think she did the math, or he did the math.

But yeah, that's potentially up to 31 points of damage. That's pretty good. Also, Doug Boone math book available now in the stinky dragon store. Yeah, it's just the most simplistic equations. I bet we could do that. And it was like a Doug Children's book. Is that it for you, Gunther? Yeah, well, and then the double attacks was the other level.

So two attacks per turn. It's pretty good. So double the chance of rolling a 20. Yeah, double the fun. All right. Cool. Thanks, Chris slash Gunther. Who was next? I think someone had a 12 if I remember. 13. Look at the voice back. Yoohoo. It's me. Blaine.

I'm pulling. I'm going to take that from the top. Hey it's Blaine. I'm Blaine. 12. Yoohoo. Okay. I'm stepping in. Tag me in coach. Okay. So. I upgraded. I have these things that I can do.

Okay, I don't wanna brag, okay. But I have this thing called a sentinel. Ooh, everyone, yeah, yeah. So like my ability score, I'm like much more dexterous like Gunther or as he said, Dex-terous? Dexterous. Yeah, and I have this thing where I,

basically I'm like the dude from the bridge scene in Spider-Man 3 where like he says, if you mess with one of us, you mess with all of us. So like say that we're in a fight and someone's within five feet of you guys and then they attack you and I'm there also within five feet I get an opportunity of attack So that's cool. And then I can also make people you know, like fall down like their their speed becomes zero

You know from opportunity attacks. That's pretty cool. It's called Halt So I'll just say Halt who goes there That's pretty cool. It's called Halt. So I'll just say Halt who goes there. How'd you get all that stuff? You know, you know, it's good that you should ask that Doug because you can learn a lot of things when people aren't throwing arrows at you all at a time. You know, when you finally get some rest and you don't have, you know, Colonel Boyie or Sergeant Steely yelling at your face. You know, you can you can do a lot of things when you just relax. When you just take a deep breath. Oh, did you do some like meditation or something?

I did so much meditation, Doug. It was great. I found a waterfall and I stared at it. I found a tree and I stared at it. Was it the tallest waterfall on the whole earth? Yeah, Severin season two. And then I found a frog and I stared at it, but then it was Gunther.

So I just kept staring at Gunther. Yeah. I stared back. What? I stared back. Yeah, we just kind of stared at each other. Yeah. It turns out Gunther was just sleeping,

but because he's like, his eyes just kind of look open. Yeah. I didn't forget we needed to say why, how we got it. I wanted to set up the thing about throwing arrows and stuff. So anyways, that's pretty much it, though. I just I have an extra attack. My Dexterity score went up and I have this thing called Sytnal, which gives me Guardian and Halt.

So if you guys get in a fight and I'm there with you guys and then they attack you, I'm basically trying to get the person who attacked me as the barbarian, like they should be attacking me and not you guys. So I think that'll be fun once we get into combat. Yeah. Can I dig into Guardian a little bit here? I want to make sure I understand it correctly. Because I'm reading it right here. So if a creature within five feet of you takes disengage or hits someone else besides you with an attack, you immediately make an opportunity attack against that creature. And if you hit any creature you with an attack, you immediately make an opportunity attack against that creature.

And if you hit any creature with an opportunity attack, that creature's speed becomes zero. So it stops moving. It can't move away anymore. Yeah. So it's like, once people are trapped up against me, they're going nowhere. Like Spider-Man 1, I've got you in the cage

for five minutes. Sorry, I just watched the trilogy recently. That's very good. Is it that odd on your brain or something? Sam Raimi, classic. Oh. And just to clarify further, because you know, I love rules. It gives you an opportunity attack

and an opportunity attack is a reaction. So you still only get one per turn because it's still a reaction. If four people were around you trying to attack, you would only get to attack one of them as an opportunity attack. I'm glad you clarified that now, because you almost got egg on my face the next encounter.

Oh, I would have gotten so angry. Yeah, just pointed out that I think this is fresh on my mind because I was listening to one of the infinite second wins where I say, I wish I had called that out. I let someone get away with too many opportunity attacks, Chris Chris and I just want now that I know a lot more I Want to be more cognizant of it? Well, you know, it's good to forgive and forget And if you would like to listen to those infinite second wind episodes

Those are available now over at stinky dragon pod comm recorded.com. Recorded Second Wind for every Infinite episode. And they're available to patrons. So go check it out at StinkyDragonPod.com. Excellent time. 86 episodes. It took so long. Took a long time. Everyone worked equally hard on them.

Everyone did different things on them. Me, Barbara, the non-editor of the group, I helped in other ways that I tried. You did great. You guys did a great job. Is that it for you, Tolv? Yeah, I can't think of any Spider-Man quotes. Go ahead, who's next? Okay, I believe Doug is up.

Doug, if you want to step up to the ones and the twos. Hello, Doug's on the ones and the twos. That equals threes. What's up, guys? Doug. Here for episode 14, back on a new campaign. Well, apparently we are wanting out of time. What could it mean?

I'm Barbara Duckleman. I play Doug Boone, the Bugbear Artificer, Battlesmith Artificer, to be more precise, level five in the flesh. You know, like over the course of the last couple of days, you know, I have a big stack of books in my pack with me that I like to read sometimes. And there's one book in there that I've kind of been

putting off just because I don't want anyone to see me reading it, cause it's a little embarrassing. But it's called accidentally popular, how to make friends. And so I've been reading this book about how to make friends now that I feel like there actually might be a chance that I could be making friends right now with the group. And I opened the book and started reading it and realized that it had kind of like special abilities

in here. It's more than just basic tips on how to make friends. And I read on this one thing called telepathic abilities. And so after studying it for a couple of days, I'm now telepathic. Yeah, I learned it really quick. Yeah. Because you know, brain is the most strongest organ. What movie am I thinking about now?

Star Wars. Oh, Spider-Man. You know, you got a little bit more there, dog. I heard the S. The S was coming through. I feel like it was a 50-50 chance with any other movie in Star Wars. So, pretty close. And so, metagaming. I now have the telepathic feat.

My ability score also increased. I chose wisdom to increase on that. So I have another wisdom point. So I have telepath increase on that. So I have telepathic utterance. You could speak telepathically to any creature you could see within 60 feet of yourself. Your telepathic utterances are in a language you know and the creature understands you only if it knows that language. The creature cannot respond to you telepathically with this feat. So it's one way communication. Yes.

I also have with this, Detect Thoughts. You always have Detect Thoughts prepared. Once per long rest, you could cast it without a spell slot or spell components. You could also cast it using spell slots you have of the appropriate level. Your spell casting ability for the spell is the ability increased by this feat. This is like the first time we've had a telepath on the team, I think. I think so. I think I've had detect thoughts before maybe with Bart.

Bart. But yeah, I thought it could come in handy. So is there a range limit on the 60 feet? For telepathic it's 60 feet, but detect thoughts, it doesn't seem to have a range. 30 feet. 30 feet, okay. Oh, okay.

Is that so that over time it upgrades, like it changes, gets more powerful or anything like that? Possible. It's cool. Yeah, so detect thoughts allows you to activate one of two effects. You can either sense thoughts, so you can sense the presence of thoughts within 30 feet of you. They belong to a creature that knows languages or telepathic.

You don't read the thoughts, but you know a thinking creature is there. Or you can read thoughts and you target a creature you can see within 30 feet or a creature within 30 feet of you that you detect it with sense thoughts. You learn what is most on the target's mind right now. If the target doesn't know any languages or isn't telepathic, you learn nothing. The target has to be telepathic for me to be able to detect thoughts. So it's if it doesn't know any languages and isn't telepathic. So if it knows languages, but it's not telepathic, you're okay. Okay. Okay. The and is doing a lot of junctioning

and heavy lifting there. That's the one thing Barbara couldn't wrap her mind around. But Doug understood you. You couldn't do that with like an automaton or something? Is that what it's like differentiating? I think it would be like if a target doesn't know language and isn't telepathic it might be like an animal. Gumbot might know language. A frog, a deer, sorry Gunther, a deer. Or something like that.

A plant. Right. Gotcha. Cool. Cool. That's all for me. Spent a lot of time on it. I'm really proud. Right. Gotcha. Cool. Cool. That's all for me. Spent a lot of time on it.

I'm really proud. It was honestly, you know, partially because I wanted to help my friends out, but also it'd be cool to be able to communicate with Gambot a little better. Interesting. Because he doesn't speak. What the books say about making friends though. I don't know if I want to tell you because it said to be open and be a good listener and always care about what other people are going through.

So is being a good listener encompassed by listening to people's thoughts that they have privately? Listening to people's thoughts. I was trying to get around it for several, but you're all correct. Well, we currently, we are going through caves a lot. Yes.

Very good observation, Vagel. All right, thanks, Doug. I believe we have one person left. Well, technically we got two because I run with a party, party of the little perfect demon that I have. Hi, everybody. John Reisinger here who plays Nati Wonder, the level five Drow Warlock, packed of the chain specifically.

I think I might've said the beginning of the campaign, but I'll say it again so if people are curious, that's why I have Gigi. So much has been happening in the world of Nati, and I'm so glad I get to share with y'all. First of all, one of the things my mama, well, both my mamas would say this almost in unison, it's kind of creepy, but they would say,

Natty, do you know how you get to Fantasy Carnegie Hall? And I'd say, how? And they say, practice, practice, practice. And I have been practicing my craft and through that practice, I have become an even better performer. I know that's shocking. I'll wait for your guys' paws to deal with that.

Okay? Drink it in. I'm even better at it. I can change my visage at will as much as I want now. It's not even just Natty now. I can turn and look like almost anybody now. Can you do one now? Prove it!

I turn into Sergeant Steel-Eye. Oh no, don't look! He'll stress you out! And on top of that, I can sound like him too. Listen. Wow! We'll add in post. I was just waiting for you guys to throw in something. At first I was like, who does Steelye? Oh wait, that's me. We'll add it in post.

How could you forget, Gus? Say something sassy starting with Steelye. Go on, do it. Gigi, put that down. This is Steelye. Next time we're is Steel Eye. Next time we're at camp, I want you guys to look at my buns because I've been working on it real hard

doing squats and stuff and they're not just for squatting, they're for looking, so look. If he doesn't exist. So that's going on with me. I did get also recently another little message from my wife and she decided that, you know, it is obviously a hard task to be raising Gigi kind of all on my lonesome most of the time.

She's busy with her stuff. I'm busy with my stuff. This is how we work. But she thought I needed some help. So she said, you know, she's like, hey, next time you see one of them dead things, you can make it your little helper for Ggy. And so now I can animate dead. It's pretty cool. A playmate for Gigi. Yeah, he needs he needs all the help he can get. He loves Gambot already,

but he needs someone I need another pair of eyes because I swear that little kid, he gets faster and faster each day. And let me check on something for you. Gambot also likes Gigi. I just detected those thoughts. little kid, he gets faster and faster each day. And let me check on something for you. Gambot also likes Gigi. Oh. I just detected those thoughts. But I didn't, I did not use the spell slot. So yeah, that, that is also a big help.

And oh, Gigi, Gigi's also, I've realized that I've just been neglecting on raising Gigi to his full potential, teaching all the lessons I could and making sure that he is on his path to becoming the Lord of the apocalypse someday. Cause I want him to achieve his dreams, okay? Okay, okay. And so Gigi is now, you guys are gonna notice this throughout our little adventures as our little party

that I'm gonna be taking some time to teach Gigi lessons. And hopefully as I teach him lessons, he'll get stronger or better or, you know, he'll kind of learn something and kind of grow as the little fiend that he is. That's adorable. That one I will talk about meta-wise. Micah came up with a function to kind of teach Gigi lessons.

What did he call it? He called it- Life lessons with Gigi. Pedagigic method, but I think it's pedagogy. So it's pedagigic method. Oh my God. And it is, I can, once per long rest, I can try to teach Gigi a lesson

depending on the difficulty of the lesson, determines the dice roll I have to do with a wisdom check. If he succeeds, or if I succeed, he learns the lesson and gets a little new thing, could be like temp HP or an ability score modifier, stuff like that. If I fail, I can take another chance at that before the next long rest.

So now Gigi is even more of a party member for us. Wow. And for those curious, meta wise as well, I took the actor feat that increased my charisma modifier, gave me impersonation and mimicry abilities, and I changed a couple of my invocations, which I learned you could do with each level of warlock. I got rid of repelling blast and instead took mask of many faces, which is disguise self at will, which just means I can use disguise self

as much as I want whenever I want. And then I added undying servitude, which lets me cast animate the dead once per long rest. And you guys learned a lot. Yeah. Is that like, you know how sometimes there's some people where if they have a long rest they can change out abilities. Is that that or?

No, it's each level. I can change my invocation, which I have three invocations now. I got a new invocation. And so I changed two of them because we level twice. And then, God, I hope I'm sounding correct on what I'm supposed to be doing. I looked this up.

And then also when you level up, you can swap out some spells. And so I swapped out some spells and just getting rid of ones I was never using and added a couple that I'm like, this might be helpful. You don't have to wait for a long rest to teach Gigi. It's one per short rest. Short rest, sorry.

I was going off of the cuff. But yeah, so we're gonna be teaching Gigi lessons. Everyone rest, sorry. I was going off of the cuff. But yeah, so we're going to be teaching giggy lessons. Ooh. Everyone took a feat. Yeah. I took a feat that also increased my charisma. So I kind of got both. Yeah.

My feet came with, I guess it's only one point, ability score improvement, but I was like, I'd rather get a feat and like get closer to a potential like increase on that. My feet came with toenails. I'm going to start calling you guys Quentin Tarantino. Oh, that's a good one. For free? We love feet.

Guess I want to I just want to say I didn't take lucky. Huh? Oh, I noticed. You proud? Interesting. Yeah, it's a it's some growth. It's for the sake of the audience so that they could have some difference. And it's not just blame building the same character over and over again. It was challenged because as a fighter and you having played a fighter, there are a lot of like common feats.

But I was like, man, I don't want to I don't want to have the same catchphrases as Kaiborg, where it's like, give me the dramatic dragon. There's only one Kaiborg. Oh,. You know, like, there's only one Kyborg. Oh, we also, I guess, sort of upgraded Gigi to like a 2024 D&D Quasit. Not much changed, except for his attack is now REND, instead of, I think it was Bite previously. It was Bite, yeah.

Yeah, I think that's about it. Yeah, and to that point, like, we're starting to mix in a little bit of 2024 stuff and Lucky is different in 2024 versus, you know, fifth edition, which we were using before. So- Why do you think I didn't take it? We're beginning that process.

So if you hear some hybrid things or some mishmash, that's why. I also imagine all of our HP increased as well. Yes. Yes. Doug did a couple little curls. With the books? With the books, yeah, exactly. I would love to see Doug reading like that, like a weighted book,

and you're like doing curls as you're reading a book. He's doing two at a time, reading two books. Oh, that sounds awful. Trying to read two books. Anyway, when we last saw B Team, they were arriving at the stormy shores of Andridge Bay. While taking a brief breather, the four soldiers received a message via Raven. A message from none other than Sergeant Steel Eye.

Based on Private Part's initial assessments, Steel Eye saw fit to promote B-Team to Private First Class, or PFC. And with the promotion, each soldier received 10 gold pieces. So everyone, you get 10 gold pieces each. Whoa! Yay! We are Private First Class now? promotion each soldier received 10 gold pieces so everyone you get 10 gold pieces each. Wow! Yay! We are private first class now. Private first class. So are we like the same as you, private parts?

Uh, affirmative. Cool hey hey hey! Oh look at us! I give him a salute. He salutes back. Say affirmative. Oh, affirmative. It feels weird. I gotta work on that one. B Team then ventured into Endrich Bay proper but were soaked straight away by an incessant storm and hazardous floods that were swamping the streets. It's kind of like Austin the past couple days.

Signage was rare and locals even fewer. But by sheer luck they stumbled upon a towering building. A weather-beaten sign swayed violently over the door. The high three. The waterlogged tower stands tall and narrow like a lighthouse, with at least three flights of stairs. Now, all that's left to do is find their contact, Fizmum. But who takes the first step inside?

I'll go step inside, I don't want it to be in the rain. Gunther steps inside. And as you cross the threshold, a deluge of water pours inside across the floor. An elderly man yells, hurry along you Sturge rats, get inside and close the door. Aye, aye. The elderly man stands behind a bar, shuffling cards.

He has a chiseled face and wears a pointed hat made of possum fur. A pointed hat made of possum fur? Yeah. The sign you said, it said high three. Is that H-I-G-H? Correct. What happened to the other two? I'm used to high fives myself. Doug, can you do the math on that? Run the numbers. Go ahead, Doug. Five minus two is three, so that's high three. That would be the confusion of a high five. But also there's only one guy in here, so you could also be asking where is the other two. Oh, true.

Double entendre. As you walk in, you see that this building has a compact floor plan with multiple stories. It's dimly torch lit with a weathered shiplap architecture. There's coral stools that slide on the flooded floor, and an elderly human stands behind a bar. There's a small seafood menu, an ascending spiral staircase,

and an iron banded wooden door to the south, which is the entrance that you are walking in. Can we walk up to the barkeep or whatever? Okay. Sounds like a setup for a joke, you know? Like an orca frog, a bugbear, a mom walking to a bar, you know? A mom.

Dot, dot, dot. So does everyone walk in? bar, you know? A mom. Dun-dun-dun. So does everyone walk in? Is that my species? Is my species mom? Yeah. The hardest job in the world. I'm a level eight mom. Yeah, yeah, we can walk up.

Yeah, I walk in. I would go in as well, yes. And I assume close the door. And did you say you walk up to the bar, Gunther or Chris? Or just walk in? Yeah, I was gonna walk up to him. Yeah, he's standing behind the bar shuffling some cards. Hi, I'm Gunther.

What are you? After you all walk in and close the door, he seems to not really particularly look in your direction anymore and instead focuses on his cards. Ooh, good to hear, yes. Um. Did you know of a Viz Mom? Aye, you're here for the fighting match, eh?

Well, why didn't you say so? And he pulls the lever behind the bar, which opens up a trap door beneath your feet, and you all drop down 30 feet. Gunther! Do we have a chance to, I guess we just fall? Yeah, you fall. Yeah.

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rocketmoney.com slash stinky dragon. ["The Star-Spangled Banner"] When you reach the bottom, you fall about 30 feet, you stand up and look around, and you're in a torch lit underground. There's a high ceiling that seems to be leaking with water. There's a sand floor around you, a spiked wooden fence surrounds a rectangular arena with a crowd sitting on all sides. There's two egresses, appears to be a door to the north and an ascending staircase to the south.

Are we in the cage or outside the cage? You are in the cage. We're in the bad part. All right, boss, what do we do? Tov looks at Doug, gets the boss still. Somehow I think it's bad news, Baio should be in this cage. So we should scramble out of here. Here, let me let me try to help you out of here.

And Doug tries to pick up Gunther first to try to like help pop him out of the cage. Is there a ceiling? Does the cage have a ceiling? How would we have fallen in then? Oh, that's a good call. Yeah, Doug, I'll tell you what. Roll me a perception check.

That is a 18. You bend down to start picking your friends up and you look around and you realize that there is a battle raging all around you. Oh. There appear to be five pirates and a pirate captain all attacking each other and so far at this moment it does not seem like they notice you yet. I'm imagining for some reason, he said like there's a fight going around amongst us. I'm imagining one of those cages that has the motorcycles driving on the edges of it

just going around and around. So five pirates and a pirate captain all fighting each other. Are they just a free-for-all brawl? Does it look like or does it seem like there's any teams or groupings? That's an excellent question. I'll answer that then we'll go and roll initiative. Oh it appears that there may be sides in this battle that it's not truly a free-for-all with everyone going at me. So why doesn't everyone

go and roll me initiative? I like how this happens as Doug is holding Gunther up. 18. I rolled a 7. 22. 13. Would it be out of line for me to ask if I recognize any of these pirates? We can definitely deal with that here in a moment. I just got to get these initiatives in order. Okay, I'll wait. It reminds me of home, you know? I rolled 312 for initiative. How weird. 312? Wow. Out of 612 Wow out of six three out of five They said there was five pirates and a captain. Oh, you're right. I forgot roll for the captain then. Thank you

You get an extra enemy Hovered back over to the damage to You get it. Extra enemy. Mm-hmm. Ha ha ha ha ha ha. Private Parts is here with us too, right? Yes.

He rolled a three, so he got plenty of time before he does anything. Right. OK, Tolv, you rolled a 22, and you were asking if you recognize any of the faction. What was your question? Pirates. If I recognize specifically any of the pirates or like,

I just recognize this place, you know, just any of it. It's all very nautical and I'm a bit of a seaman myself, you know? Don't laugh. Chris, you curl that lip back and you stop giggling. It's a perfectly normal word. I'll tell you what, Tolf, why don't you roll me a history check and see how good that brain of yours is working. Ooh, okay. how good that brain of yours is working? Ooh, okay.

How good that brain of yours is working? Ooh, a minus one nine, god poop. It's not worth my inspiration die, is it? I don't know, you tell me. Well, I'm trying to outrun my history, so maybe it's okay if I mess this one up. All right, now something, maybe you got a little bit of sand in your eye

and you're kind of focused on thinking about your new abilities. Nothing really stands out to you. You can tell they are beings of the sea and they spend time on ships and they're actively engaged in combat at the moment, but nothing really specific beyond that. I'm sorry to drag it out further. Can I recognize what species they are or any of that stuff?

Yeah, sure. Why not? Any moms? Any moms? High level moms? You could tell because they're the ones working the hardest. It just appears to be a mishmash of various humanoids. Human, elf, dwarf, just humanoids. We'll leave it at that. Okay, cool. But anyway, Tolf, the reason I, one of the reasons I addressed your question so quickly

is you are at the top of the initiative order with a 22. You know, rules of engagement, none of them have attacked us yet, so. Hey gang, I'm gonna go the peaceful route. We're gonna see how this goes. I take some movement towards the group of pirates and I say, guys, whoa, whoa, what are we fighting here over?

Oh, what's going on? Let's cool our jets, am I right? Oh, okay. I don't know if they know what jets are. Jets haven't been invented, have they? Let's cool our rudders, am I right? There you go. Probably not. That would be... Why don't you make me a... Let's call it a persuasion check, Tov.

Okay. You know I'm good on persuasion. Ooh, looky there. A four. I'm gonna, I'm gonna actually use my inspo on that one. I think it's worth it. Cause I feel that so badly. I feel like they would just turn and attack me

all five of them at once. All right, here you go. That's more like it, 15. Whoop, whoop. Okay, there you go. Okay, let me roll just a quick opposing check here. See if they listen to you. And I rolled a two.

Oh. Yeah, the clamor amongst the pirates in here begins to kind of die down and they all turn and look at you. They're still very much on guard in making sure that no one's gonna get a quick attack in on them, but they do turn and look at you. And as they look at you. They're still very much on guard in making sure that no one's gonna get a quick attack in on them. But they do turn and look at you and as they look at you, you begin to hear booing from all around. Boo! Boo! Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!

Is this a junior high? We're in some sort of fight club gang. Uh... Shhh! Don't talk about it. Oh, first rule of course. What are we fighting for? Uh, don't talk about it. Oh, first rule of course. What are we fighting for? You know what? What the heck?

Let's give the people what they want. I'm going to crush the closest guy with my hammer. You know, oh, my God. All right. Fine. I'm going to give you advantage on this since you trick them into putting their guard down with you for a moment. So go to make master plan with advantage. Okay. I'm going to do one handed.

Just don't kill the mom. So I have a shield. That's a, Oh baby. That's a Nat 20. Wow. Good job. Open salvo. And I'm going to do my attack. And that's with the...

Who are you attacking? Just the closest dude. So one of the sailors, not the captain. Yeah. I was gonna roll to pick one at random. Great, that's fine. Since he didn't specify. At this point, it honestly doesn't matter.

And Tove doesn't recognize rank. He only recognizes strength. Love it. I love how you're like, why are we fighting each other beat smash? I get angry when people don't listen to my questions. It's the surrounding It's the environment it reminds me of my olden days on the size seas. Did you rage? That's a bonus action, right? Yeah, yeah, can I do that before I seem to remember you saying you raged I'm not sure if it's just me

Yeah, pretty straight did by the way I rolled a d6 since they're six enemies and Rolled a four so I went what I decided to do is go down the initiative order that they rolled in and the fourth person In the initiative order on their side is the pirate captain Yep, so you guys you got you got the captain, okay That's what they say when you get in prison find the biggest guy and give him a good old clock and Natty I have to ask how you know this information Where have you been Natty? I've lived a long and full life. We need to talk about that later. I'm very curious Also, she's a mom. Mom knows a lot Full laugh. We need to talk about that later.

I'm very curious. Also, she's a mom. Mom knows a lot. Mom knows everything. Yeah, I won't lie. Gigi's been to the clink. We know. How much damage was that?

12? It says a 14. It was 2d8 plus four. But I know that one of those is maximum because there's a crit. Yeah, so we'll go ahead and change that to 40. So it's actually 18 points of damage. Woo.

Plus your rage. Oh, yeah. Plus two melee damage with strength weapons. So let's call that a 20. 20 points of damage. The council. Yeah, the council barbarians coming in hot today. I think you forgot your age. Here's your councilman Gum Gum. Councilwoman Elga, any thoughts?

Sorry, I'm on the toilet right now. I do not feel like the toilet be called a pun. I'm so sorry Councilwoman Elga, please return to your business. It's like yesterday, I was getting ready for a shower. I had disrobed everything. I was about to turn the water on and I heard a knock on the door.

Oh no. And normally I would just let it go, you know, like they just leave it, but I knew I was getting delivered something. I had to sign. So I threw on clothes and a hat faster than I have in my entire life. So I was like, you know, like when you're like, don't leave, don't leave. I want to think, I want the thing. So I rushed over there.

Just with pants and a shirt. I threw on shorts, a shirt and a hat and I just went Oh signed it and got it. You start making as much noise as you can inside so they know that you're coming to the door Throw something at the door Throw something at the door I knew I had some time because usually they have to write their little note, you know, so I was like, all right Yeah, I mean devastating 20-point attack by Tollv Devastating 20-point sneak attack by a barbarian?

By 12 on the pirate captain. Fake out. You know, I'm an interesting dude. What can I say? How does he look after that? That was significant. The pirate captain is still looking like he has fight in him. But you definitely took a little bit of it out.

Let's find out how much fight he really has in him. I do my second attack. Here we go. I forgot we got the second attacks now. We have fun here. Let's find out how much fight he really has in him. I do my second attack. Here we go. I forgot we got these second attacks now. We have fun here. I'm gonna do another with the war hammer. War hammer.

Recklessly. That's a, oh my God. Rolled a 19 plus 7, 26. You guys did another 20. Let me double check. Yeah, that hits. Ooh, ah! Okay, so Chris, to address that,

I don't super like attacking Recklessly because I don't want the the thing to be back on me. What is it the advantage or whatever? Yeah, yeah 26 26 hits. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. I double checked. I'll triple check. Yeah, it is You do where you know, it hits but I'm like That's a 50 billion is that hit plane? All right rolling damage oh come on roll to one plus five plus the additional two so that would be seven. Seven points of damage not quite as big maybe this this time the captain

knows your moves and is able to absorb the blow a little bit. And he smiles as he takes that hit from your war hammer, Toll, and says, Arrgh! Rage in the cage! This is what the people want! Cool! I'm liking this. Anything else from you there, Toll? Nope, I'm good.

All right, great. Round by Toll there. Nattie, you're up. After Nattie, we got a couple of pirates, a lot of pirates, and then Doug. All right, Nattty turns to Gigi. And this isn't actually, I'm not gonna like roll my thing for the thing,

but I just turns to Gigi and she goes, all right, today's lessons are all gonna be about how to win a cage fight. It's very important for everyone to learn how to do this. You never know when it comes up, okay? Natty surveys the pirates with Tollv next to the captain. What's the gathering of them? Is it like a big old scrum of them all together?

Are there a couple of pockets of fights happening between people? What's the spread? Paint me a picture, Gustavo. We'll say it's 1v1 and 2v2. Okay, and then is Tollv the 1v1 or Tollv is... That's just them. Tollv is by one of the 2v2s. By the 2v2. Okay. And then is Toll the 1v1 or Toll is? That's just them. Toll is by one of the 2v2s. By the 2v2.

Okay. Then yeah, why not? Let's do something new for funsies. Is the 1v1 further than 15 feet from Toll? I'm gonna guess no. Let me double check. No. Oh, wow.

So they really are all scrummed together. They were all kind of scrummed up. Despite the fact the cage is pretty big, they were all kind of scrummed up together. OK, well, I don't want to do what I was going to do, because it would hurt my good friend Tov. I'll tell you what, let's just end this. Yeah, it's they're more than 15 feet. OK, because I could have done an Eldritch Blast.

You know, I love to pull that trigger. They're definitely more than 15 feet away. Natty turns to Gigi one more time and goes, Alright, first lesson. Mommy's gonna show you a little piece of where other mommy comes from, okay? Uh, Natty cast Moat of Hell. Okay. Ah, jeez.

What a name. That is the best name for a spell ever. Can you guess why my eye was drawn to that spell when I was looking through the spell book? You mean the person who's married to death. Yeah, it's fantastic. It sounds like a WMD, but fantasy version. The description is also just choice. You manifest a pocket of hell.

A 15 foot radius sphere of darkness, brimstone, and blasting heat appears on centered on a point within range and lasting for the duration. The cloud of hellfire echoes with the cries of damned souls that can be heard by creatures within 30 feet of it. No light, even magical light can illuminate the cloud and any creature fully within that area are blinded. Cheery.

What is this? I've never even heard of this. I've never heard of this either. Wait, do you create darkness? It mimics darkness, so the guys that are in it are now blinded, because light can't escape it. Doesn't end there. By the way, this is a third level spell slot, so I'm burning a big thing.

The cloud warps the timescape, making the cloud's area difficult to rain. A creature who starts their turn in that area takes 3d6 fire damage. There is no check. A creature who ends their turn in that area must succeed on a wisdom saving throw or take 3d6 psychic damage as the voices of the damned crowd of their mind. Wow. I get the feeling that Maddie's about to throw mankind off the top of the cage through an announcer's table. Yeah. Is mankind a wrestler? It's like a copypasta, copypasta meme. Okay. Someone will get it.

Someone listening to this podcast laughed at that. I wasn't allowed to watch wrestling because it's too violent when I was young and now I don't care about it. 3D6, although I wish I did. People who seem to like wrestling really liked it. They're really into it. 3D3 612 fire damage. Okay.

And this is on the 1v1? Both of those Ombres, yeah. Alright, they will take that fire damage at the start of their turn. Okay, yeah. And then, so they're blinded and it's on difficult terrain. And then, can Gigi go? Yeah, I'm just making a note here that they're blinded. They're blinded, so if someone else enters that 15-foot radius, are they also blinded? Like it is, you are just looking at a 15 foot sphere of just hell and that's all you can see.

If they leave it, can they see? When they leave it, they, yeah, it's that specifically light can't enter or escape. It's like a black hole. Gotcha. And then, Gigi, go help Uncle Tove. And can Gigi traverse to Tove and attack the captain? Yeah, if Gigi makes the appropriate roll. God, I was hoping Gus would forget that.

He just attacks Tove. It's my favorite part of Gigi. Because normally, and just to clarify, because I think some people have talked about this in the comments, normally I think with this kind of character that Jon's playing, either Jon gets to go or Gigi gets to go. but we're kind of bending the rules a little bit just because I like the chaos that Gigi brings. I don't want to penalize John in case the roles don't go our, you know, his way, but because I want to kind of encourage Gigi getting in there and causing

some chaos. So we do allow Gigi and uh, Natty both to go. He also can't do much. Yeah. He ain't gonna do nothing. I rolled a one. So what's he gonna do Gus? He's gonna do something. He's gonna help Uncle Tove all right. Oh no. Like a low roll would have been okay.

A one, he's gotta go after told now. He's gotta misunderstand the assignment with a one. Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. Love your familiar, wow. You're amazing. Gigi runs up and I'm gonna roll dice to decide between these two options, okay?

Hold on, hold on, before you roll that die, I have something I wanna clarify from an earlier episode now. Does Gigi still have that axe? Oh, he does. What are we doing here? That axe? He does, he does, cause I want him to still have that axe. Right. Okay, then he's gonna use the axe. Oh he does. What are we doing here? He does, he does because I want him to still have that axe. Right. Okay then he's gonna use the axe. But again going off a precedent he attacks with disadvantage with that axe because it's too big for him. All right he has a plus five to attack

and I rolled two bad rolls so you're good I rolled a five and a three. Oh thank god. So that's ten and eight. So say like Gigi kind of runs up to Toll's and begins doing that thing again, where it's like a hammer throw in the Olympics, where he starts spinning around all crazy. The Tasmanian devil is what he is. Yeah, getting the axe up off the ground and tries to swing it at Toll's ankle,

but just misses entirely. And I like to picture Gigi falls down on his little butt and he's sitting there with the axe. That's OK, Gigi. You have a little, like, squeaky sound effect when that happens. Yeah. Gigi, has Uncle Toad ever told you

the story of Hoofer from campaign two? That is it. That is it. Keep. Keep. Keep. Gigi just smiles and looks for acknowledgement of his good deed.

So good. Is that it for you, Nattie and Gigi? Wait, before your turn ends, Toll says, two moms enter, one mom leaves. Oh, love it. And I was wrong, Doug, only one pirate goes before you. The rest of them are after you. I forgot you rolled a 13, they rolled 12.

But one of them goes now, but it's one of them that is blinded currently in the mode of hell. And they take that fire damage now. So they can still move even though they're blinded, right? And so they can try to- Difficult terrain, that's it. So if it's difficult terrain

and it's a 15 foot radius on the moat, so they could at worst case scenario exit the moat, but that uses all of their movement. If that's their movement speed, yeah. Yeah, so the movement would be 30, difficult terrain would half it. So they would have 15 movement, which is Yeah, so the movement would be 30, difficult terrain would half it, so they would have 15 movement, which is the radius, so even if they were in the middle,

they'd be able to get out. So I'll say this one stumbles out from the mode of hell, looking a little pale, maybe horrified by the things it experienced inside of there, and says, Arr, let's not be doing that again. Uh. That was traumatizing.

I be rethinking my lot in life and decisions. Need to send a parent to my therapist. I'm going to be doing some community service. Balance the karmic scales. Yeah. Oh, what'll it do? So it comes out, it's used all of its movement. It's going to throw a dagger.

Yeah, it'll throw a dagger at 12 because 12 was really duplicitous. Had everyone put their guard down and then attack the captain. Yeah, so it's going to toss a dagger at 12. This is with a plus five, seven. I assume that's a miss. I'm sorry, little guy. That's a miss, but better luck next time. He doesn't like the fact you're taunting him.

I'm not taunting, I'm genuinely sorry. I don't know, I've been in a fight before and missed my throw or what have you. And he raises an eyebrow at you, Tole. You wanna take another attack? Would that make you feel better? You just saw some pretty nasty stuff. Make me a wisdom saving throw.

Okay. Wisdom saving throw. That's an eight. There's something about that charismatic raised eyebrow that just kind of tickles you the right way, Tov. Can Tov be charmed? I don't see any resistances against it. There's this thing called magical sleep that I have resistance to Yeah, maybe this pirate's not so bad after all maybe uh

You've been approaching this combat wrong the whole time Can you describe him to me what he looks like and he features this pirate that stand out? I mean if you're gonna be attracted to him, you know, you want to know what he looks like Got an eye patch missing the left canine teeth. Great. That's enough for me. Hey, guys, I think we need to let Patchy join in. Huh? I mean, come on, look at him. That's a trustworthy guy.

You're like, when I stare into his eye. So when you are charmed, you cannot attack the charmer or target the Charmer with any damaging abilities or magical effects. And the Charmer has advantage on any ability check to interact with you socially. So you can still attack the other ones, just this one you cannot. I marked down charmed as a condition. But only against that one pirate. Correct. This captain's gotta die, unfortunately.

Doug, you are up. Then a couple of pirates, then Gunther. Okay. I think Doug could tell that we are outnumbered. He did the math, of course. He is going to get his steel defender out here. Okay. Gambot, it is your time to shine, and shine because you are made of metal and you are reflective.

So, yeah, did you just, I guess, in your downtime, maybe you gave Gambot a little polish? Of course, yes. Does the crowd go wild for Gambot? The crowd goes mild. You hear cheering. Yeah! Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!

Cling-cling-cling-cling-cling-cling. So he brings out a Steel Defender, so I think, does he then act after me? Same initiative as you, but just right after you. Okay. So then that means it would be his turn to go now. That was my action. We'll call it for now your bonus action to pull out Gampot.

I love it. Let's have fun. So generous. So I think because also Doug sees everyone fighting with all these weapons, he also wants it on the action. So he's going to use his crossbow and shoot at the pirate that just charmed 12. Okay, so this is the one that just stepped out

from that mode of hell. Yeah. Maybe if I shoot my crossbow at you, you'll get flown back into the mode of hell, huh? Whoa! I'm practicing my intimidation. I haven't done that in a while. You're doing great!

Very good. You're killing it. 18. That hits. Oh, yes. Nice. I haven't done that in a while. You're doing great! Very good. You're killing it. 18! That hits. Oh, yes. Nice. Doing six points of piercing damage. Yeah, this pirate is still up, but it's looking a little worse for wear.

I like to think Doug pulls out his crossbow and it's like that GIF from Spy Kids where it's like the little targeting glass comes down in front of the eyes. Like glasses all the way down. You like steady the crossbow on your other arm and fire it Yes, you know exactly what I'm picturing as well Absolutely. I think any weapon he uses has to be some type of like very precise mechanical Feature to it and I do have an extra attack. Oh, okay Oh, I could attack twice rather than once whenever you take the attack action on my turn

Oh, that's cool, which I didn't know I had until recently. Was that new? I think it might be. That's a 24 on the next hit. Believe it or not, that's a hit. Oh wow, doing nine points of piercing damage on that one. Nice. Yeah, this one's kind of stumbling around, but is still standing.

Only I'm allowed to charm my friends. Hey, by reading their thoughts. Yeah, that pirate is very bloodied and definitely staggering around in place. Patchy. I know that you're already very generous with letting the defender be a bonus action, but could I also tell if I recognize any of these pirates? I'm going to give you an option here, Barbara the player. You can either make a history check or a perception check. Why don't you tell me which you would prefer? I'm gonna do history.

Do you have a higher modifier for miss history? History. Nice. 15? That's not bad. Come on guys. You don't necessarily recognize any of the specific pirates, but you do recognize some of like the outfits that they're wearing as being different factions in the area that you've read about this

in your downtime when you were preparing to come to Andridge Bay. And you believe that these pirates are part of... that there are three different factions that you're looking at here in the Cage match. Could I remember the names of those factions? Yeah. One of them is the Council of Conservation. It'll sound so bad. The other one is the rabble. The rabble, I like that.

Okay. And the last one is Troop Troop. These all sound like names you came up with right now. They are definitely not. They are very well thought out names by Micah. I just heard Micah's head slam into his keyboard. He stayed up all night on that. He's got dark rings on his eyes. Troop, poop, no that can't be it. Troop, troop,

coop. The coop troop. Out of the different ones, what are the colors, I guess, if there are different colors or anything like associated with them? It's not necessarily colors. It's more like symbols that they use. OK. The Council of Conservation, their symbol is two prayerful hands cupping paw prints. I like these guys. Rabble's symbol is four faces of differing emotions. And Troop Troop is a pirate flag with black ballet slippers. Whoa.

Oh. How do you even choose? They're all such great options. I'll take one of each, please. That's it for Doug. But then, Gambots up. Gambots time. We need to create a theme song for Gambot

that's like a kid's cartoon. Like, Gam, gam, gam, gam, gam, gam, gam, gam, gam, gam, gam, gam, gam, gam, gam, gam, gam, gam, gam, gam, gam, gam, It's gotta-gam-gam-gam-gam-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop Howard Rend on who's the pirate closest to him? I summoned him kind of like in between me and Tolf. Y'all should finish off that dude who's tatering. I'll say it's that one, the one that you hit with your crossbow.

The captain? Nope. No, it's not the captain. Patchy, patchy. It's Patchy. The guy that's charmed me. Okay, he will hit him. What does Tolf think about that?

I love Gambot, but I love Patchy. This is tough. 25? That's a hit. So long, Patchy. 4 points of force damage. That's enough. I think that Gambot does like a pneumatic uppercut

with his head on the chin of this pirate, and it knocks him like, kind of cartoonish like off his feet backwards both his shoes fly off of his uh his feet and his body flies back into the mode of hell and he disappears forever. Oh my god! With the Fizz loyalty program you get rewarded just for having a mobile plan. You know, for texting and stuff. And if you're not getting rewards like extra data and dollars off with your mobile plan,

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Only at McDonald's for a limited time. ["The Star-Spangled Banner"] GAMBOT! I like to think after he does that, GAMBOT just turns his head, like, almost in approval towards Doug. But he has no thumbs, so he can't put his thumbs up. Geeky's holding his axe over his head going, yeah! Has charm been lifted?, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah! Has charm been lifted? Yeah, you are no longer charmed by Pachy,

because Pachy is no longer here. Now he's charmed by me. There it is. I switched my charm, willingly. Sorry, I forgot to ask what faction was Pachy. Please not Council of Conservation, please not Council of Conservation. Pachy was Council of Conservation. Oh, Pachy! Is of Conservation. Oh, Patchy!

Is that it for you, Doug? That is it. Okay, I got a couple of pirates here. Then after them is going to be Gunther. The first one up is the other one that was in Mode of Hell. So this one comes stumbling out and sees Gambot. Well, Gambot would be right by where it comes out. Tov's a little further away.

Tov's a liar, but Gambot is closer. It's going to try to stab at Gambot with be right by where it comes out. Tov is a little further away. Tov's a liar, but Gambot is closer. It's gonna try to stab at Gambot with its dagger. Good luck. You call me a liar? I heard that too. You were a liar. You said, hey, let's not fight. And then you immediately attacked.

Oh, I did do that. You already forgot. That was good. That was a good one. This pirate quickly takes two stabs at Gambot with its daggers. How far away is Gambot from Tolv? Was it 15 feet or was it closer?

I think it was closer. Well, I know that Nadi put the moat of hell, whatever that metal name was, 15 feet away from me. Yeah. But I don't know that that necessarily means that the exit is 15 feet from Tolv, or if I'm on the edge of it. Oh, I see. Yeah, it's probably kind of close to you.

He wants to know if his sentinel is getting propped. Yeah let's be real I just want to kill another guy you know. Sure why not. So then the pirate attacks first, makes its attack and then you react. Yes. Is how I read that. Okay I think I only hit one time I got an 11 and a 24 on Gambot. I don't know what Gambot's AC is. Oh, it's a 15 Yeah, so that hit. Okay. Yeah the 11 misses but the 24 hits doing 1d4 plus 3 piercing damage

How dare you? So Gambot takes six points of piercing damage from the dagger Wow Gambot this is a family show Oh, Gampod, this is a family show. But 12, that does not sit well with you. You do not touch that beautiful machine. I'm going to take an opportunity attack. Attack of opportunity. I think I like opportunity attack. I'm a little hungry.

I go for some opportunities for the table. Blue and onion. Is that just a normal attack just like yes, okay. All right. Well, I'm gonna hit him with my warhammer then 19 yeah that hits and then just to clarify for future opportunity attack is always melee But you're using your warhammer and they have to be within five feet of you for this So it kind of makes sense, but just to clarify attacks are opportunity or melee Is there any other kind of attack other than melee? I mean, let's be real, you know, it's a whole represent. Okay, I'm gonna roll damage Nanny just points at the living embodiment of hell. That's like five feet from you

The floor recognizes Nanny wonder That's a seven plus the two because I'm raging. So nine This pirate is pretty bloody between the moat and now your attack. It's seen better days, but still stand, still fine. You leave my little mechanized friend alone. Okay, that's it for that one. Then it is one of the other pirates that it was in a 2v2. So this is the one that was on the captain's side.

You hurt the captain, so this one one's gonna attack you, Toll. Bring it. You're gonna do two dagger attacks. Cute. One hits 20, the other's a crit. I assume they both hit. You would assume correctly. Okay, we'll do the non-crit first. Okay.

I don't know if I'm allowed to do this. Gambot has a reaction called deflect attack where the defender imposes disadvantage on the attack role of one creature could see within five feet provided the attack role is against a creature other than the defender. Tolvin Gambot best friends forever. They're basically like no get away from him get away from him. The disparity between Gambot and Gigi. Gus's shoulders just dropped. I just saw that happen.

OK, I'm going to assume. You got to figure out which one to put disadvantage on. I'm going to assume that since we're doing this kind of since I rolled both attacks at the same time, that you're going to choose the the one that critted. Yes. OK. I will reroll that one in a second. But first, I rolled damage for the non crit,

that which was seven points of piercing damage, but you're raging. So you take half. So that's three points of piercing damage. And now I will roll for the disadvantage roll here for the other attack. So it's a 20 and a 22, or I should say 25 and a 22.

So it still hits, but it's not a crit. It's not crit. Gambot, you're my bro. I I love you dude. Way to go. Oh beep beep beep back back to you. The mouth on that robot. What have you been teaching him Doug? English. I don't. So since it's not a crit you just take five points of piercing damage but since you're raging you just take five points of piercing damage, but since you're raging, you just take two points. Cool. This is fun. Combat's fun. Level five combat, guys. Are you guys enjoying this?

So it is the captain's turn. Dutty, my words. The pirates all have daggers, except for the captain, who instead is attacking with a rapier. I thought you were going to say he had a gun. Well, you don't know this yet, but the captain also instead is attacking with a rapier. I thought you were gonna say he had a gun. Well, you don't know this yet, but the captain also does have a gun. Pirates have guns, pirates have like, you know, they are actually gun-toting individuals. Flintlock pistols, boomsticks. So the captain is going to attack with a rapier against U-Tolv.

This is a plus seven. Okay. Buntl, he also has a rapier against Utholv. This is a plus seven. Buntl, he also has a Rapier. I'm still perched on your head. That is a 19, which is a hit. Yeah, that means, Argyripoiso, sailor. Cause we be farming pirates or something. What?

Pirates are, they're so known for their agricultural skills. Right, that reference probably wouldn't fly with them, but whatever. 15 points of piercing damage, but you're raging. So you take seven. Then you made this captain very angry. So they attack again with the rapier, hitting AC 25. That is?

Doing 12 points of piercing damage where you take half. So you take six. Okay. Micah says, reap what you stow, which is probably better. That's probably making sense for them. That's good. All right. That's two attacks for the pirate captain.

So he pulls out his pistol and fires it at you point blank range right in your face. My God. This guy's really getting revenge. Hitting AC 23. Man, those are some good rolls I got today. They are. Oh, this might do a lot of damage. Oh, I rolled two ones! Woo! Six points of piercing damage, but you're raging so you take three.

Cool gun. I saved the gun for last to have it be like the oh no. And it two ones. Oh, yeah. So I used to do with Kyborg, but mine would normally hit and cause a lot of damage, but it was cool. You know, it's still cool. I tried the pistol fires and it's a lot of smoke, but there is no not much damage.

The smoke parts revealing a smiling toll. I cannot wait until my next turn, Captain. Great, great, great, great. So that was the Captain. So now it's one of the other Pirates from the 2v2. And this Pirate looks at the situation and takes their chance and decides to attack the Pirate while the pirate captain is distracted. Yarg! And only hits once. Yarg! With its dagger doing five points of piercing damage on the captain.

The captain looks angrily at the other pirate but focuses its attention back at Toll's. And Gunther, it's your turn. After Gunther's private parts and then the final pirate, then we go back up to the top to Toll's. Okay. Gunther's been watching from above. Doug yields out his mom and sees if any of those pirates turned to look. I didn't even think about that. Make a perception check for me.

Gunther Aladdin? No, no one seems to turn and look in your direction. OK, well, I want to jump to the... Where's the pirate captain? The pirate captain is... We'll call it like 15 feet away or so. Okay, from a top duck, are there many people in the way between me and the captain?

No enemies, if that's what you're getting at. Well then yeah, Gunther wants to jump and make his way to the captain. Pulls out his sword. Do you know where Fizmum is? You're asking the captain. The captain looks at you quizzically and says, Who? OK.

Wait, no. Get out. Arrgh. And brandishes a rapier in your direction. All right. From that, can I roll to see if I think he actually is telling the truth? Sure. Vibe check. That's 12. You don't sense that the captain is hiding anything or being deceitful.

OK. Then I'm going to attack him. All right. Careful, he's got a gun. So I'm going to attack with my rapier. Yeah. Oh, this is like a Princess Bride sword fight. That's a 16

That does not Okay David's bro, dude. Okay, I'll do that. I use my inspiration die just cuz I want to do something. All right I'm gonna reroll. Come on good. There's a 20 Yeah Yeah, that hits. Okay, but the captain executes a riposte and knocks your blade aside. And instead lunges forward with his own blade

attacking you Gunther. Wait, wait, wait. I didn't even get to... The smile on Gus's face says so much. Well then, okay. Does he hit me? Hitting AC 20. All right. Well, I repost him. Whoa, whoa, whoa. We got a sword fight. Okay, does he hit me kidding AC 20? All right. Well, I repost him

So I I do my own repost when a creature miss oh he missed it Wait, what do you hit me with? He hit you AC 20, but I hit it I use my deflect attack again from game. It's a reactions. You only get one for turn So wait, but I hit him on that attack, right? His reaction is when he's hit by a melee attack roll, he gets to repost. Okay. And he hits me? Yeah, 8 feet 20. Dang.

Gosh. I was very happy, John, you're right. I've been waiting for someone to execute a melee attack. You need to have some wins too, okay? Thank you. All right, so he hits me and does what? 15 points of piercing damage. It's like one of those old pirate films, that's like all the real swashbuckling. Yeah, that's cool

Like Muppet Tresor Island exactly. That's exactly what I was thinking of your Kermit It's actually at this point. I think an old movie if like we really want to talk about it Yeah, I was like over 20 years old No, no, I think I think Muppet Tresor might be like 20 30 years old. I was thinking like, Errol Flynn kind of stuff. Yeah, no, no. I think Muppet Tracer might be like 20, 30 years old. Wow. And then I'm going to attack with my second attack with him. OK. Come on.

23. OK, yeah, that hits. That hits? OK. I'm going to roll damage. That's 12. And I also want to do a menacing attack. OK. When you hit with a weapon attack, you can spend one superiority die to add the total I also want to do a menacing attack. Okay.

When you hit with a weapon attack, you can spend one superiority die to add the total to the damage roll, and the target must make a wisdom saving throw of DC 16 on a failure. He's frightened of me until the next turn. Okay. I'm going to write the 12 damage down for now. Mm-hmm. Then you're going to roll your superiority die?

That's a seven. So that's another seven points of damage? Another seven points of damage, and then I have to make a DC 16 and Gunther goes sneaky sneaky but I'm stickier I have a plus five on wisdom saving throw so I need an 11 or better I rolled a six so failure and then he goes boo the captain seems to lose their nerve a little bit. And then I want to... Action Surge! Oh!

Is there like a cool Gunther way of saying this? Uh-huh. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaààààààààààààààààààààààààààààààààààààààààààààààààààààààààààààààààààààààààààààààààààààààààààààààààà So then I'm going to take another attack. That's gonna be a 24. All right, that hits. For a 14 damage. All right. And how's he looking? Very bloody, but still standing. How about one more? And then I'll attack.

No, please. That's a 27. That hits. With a Tri-Cool Wit like that, you could be an action movie star. I rolled a three plus seven. I'm going to reroll that dice for the three action movie star I rolled the three plus I'm gonna reroll that dice for the three see if I get higher what was that yeah it's the piercer feet that I just got where once per turn I can reroll a damaged die gotcha cuz you wanted to reroll Gus so I rerolled it now it's an eight so

it's another 15 damage yeah you pierce the captain right in the heart and you see him fall limp to the sandy floor. Cool. You should have said you knew him. Does anyone else know Fizzbomb? Everyone's like, oh me me me! That's it, that's my turn. Alright, that's it for Gunther's turn.

Private parts! Doug, you feel a tapping on your shoulder. Hello? Well, I guess not on your shoulder. Maybe like your waist or something. A little lower. I forget how tall Doug is. Like a tugging on his tunic.

Doug turns around. You turn around and Private Parts is standing there. And says, Hi Doug, quick question. On a scale of 1 to 10, how would you rate the progress of this battle so far? The progress of this battle, let's see. Pretty good actually, you know, like, I think we're making pretty good progress here.

I would say 6.82. 6.82. And if you were thinking of B-Team, how would you rank them from best contribution to worst contribution? Only for this battle, speaking about what we're experiencing right now, of course. Only for this battle, and they can't heal me, right? No, this is for private confidential record keeping. Excellent, okay. None of my teammates could heal me, right? Natty's standing next to Doug. Can I hear?

Are we actually taking him off? Take him off, I'll give you a thumbs up. Alright. So I would say Natty, probably number one, that I think that Moat was very, very helpful. Probably marked this writing down. And then Toll did some really great damage. I'd say number two. I'd put Doug at a conservative number three.

Yeah. You know, did some good damage there to help check out the Pirate Dale and then Steel Defendo really helpful and you know, Steel Defendo is part of me. so that's a really good point actually i hadn't thought about that if anything maybe he gets 3.5 and then unfortunately gundle i think would be fourth place but i think he has a chance to to really step it up of course we all have a chance to improve thank you very much for taking part in this survey and private parts number five understood as you have not really done much yet other than take take notes, which you know, could be helpful in some cases.

I think note taking is very important. I'm an observer. I'm gonna let him back in. Actually muted you, I muted you on my GoXLR, so I'm truly not dacing. I could just hear. Wub wub wub wub wub. And Barbara, roll me a D6.

You're making me do so much work today. Well, you're the team leader. Six. Really? Okay. It's a number on a D6. You're making me do so much work today. Well you're the team leader. Six. Really? Okay. It's a number on a D6. Yes, you can roll that. I was expecting one through five.

I was not expecting a six. Thank you, John, for having faith. She critted. Let me just check mine real quick. Yes, there's a six on mine. It probably just proved that I ranked our team perfectly. Oh, cool. Hopefully you factored in me and Gambot's little friendship, you know?

Maybe that was a factor. Oh, it definitely was a factor. Private Partz hands you something. He says, here I found this half buried in the sand. I figured you might need it. Doug takes whatever this is from Private Partz and looks at it. It's a snake-like pirate hook crafted from some kind of unusual green threading.

Oh. Do I know what it does or what it is? No, but you think you could use it as some kind of weapon to like hook into nearby enemies. So you said green snakeskin. A snake-like pirate hook crafted from unusual green threading. Oh, okay. Threading?

Threading, like thread. So it, okay. Threading? Threading. Like thread. So it's like not hard? A little both. Is it like the hook shot from Zelda? Kinda, I guess, yeah. Hook onto nearby enemies. Whoa, that's cool.

Get over here. That's me. That could be your new thing. Yeah. You can own that now, Doug. Word for word. Okay. And that's it for private parts. And it is the last pirate in the 2v2 who is not gone.

This one is also going to attack the captain like its friend did. Now that the captain's back is turned and it's focusing untold. And both attacks miss. One of them's a one. So I'm gonna say this pirate gets sand in its eye and can't see very well. Yarrr me eyes! What faction was he from? This one is from part of the rabble. The rabble are not a threat got it. Marking that down. Okay that's it we're back up to the top which means it's 12 and then maddie and then a pirate. Oh baby it's 12 o'clock. That's good. Because the captain is dead

and this probably creates a new point in the fight. I'm gonna once again address the crowd. Okay, everybody, the captain's dead. And unless you guys wanna lose another dude, you guys like wanna call it quits? He's here. How's everybody feeling on the battlefield? I think we're in a fight cage.

I don't think we get to decide when the fight's over. How does the crowd feel? Make a persuasion check. Okay. That is a... 17. Oh. Yeah, the crowd seems to kind of quiet down a bit

and look at each other and murmur. It seems like half of them begin cheering and half of them begin yelling angrily and they begin exchanging money with each other. But then one of them isn't paying attention to them at all and locks eyes with you, told, and from the stands yells, What's the finisher?

Ooh, hammer time. And then I attack the nearest pirate to me, I guess. I'm gonna go for the guy that just tried to attack me. Okay. Do a combo with Gigi. What does that mean? I don't know. Do something cool.

You gotta do something cool for your finisher. It's your fatality. Wait, just throw the Gigi? Oh, I know what I'm gonna do. It's a make-believe game we're playing. That's what I'm saying. Weave a vibrant tapestry of violence and fun. Well, I wanna have my turn. I don't want your other character to have a turn to it. I'm sorry. I wasn't vibrant tapestry of violence and fun. Well, I wouldn't have my turn.

I don't want your other character to have a turn. I'm sorry. I wasn't telling you to do something giggy. I was just like, do a fatality, do something cool. Grab a chair. I got something. I got something. I'm prepared for this. So I'm going to attack initially with the vorhammer.

I'm going to hit the guy that attacked me. Okay, got it. So that is a 22. Yeah. Ooh, that it. So that is a 22. Yeah! Ooh, that hits. All right. I'm gonna do my bludgeoning damage. That's a seven plus the two,

cause I'm raging, so nine. Okay. Yeah, the pirate takes a body blow from the war hammer, but still snarls at you angrily. Arrrr. Oh, you're gonna snarl? How about she eats some of this? And then I'm gonna use the storm auras and bonus action.

I gain a 10 foot aura effect when you start your rage and as a bonus action on each of your turns. When activated, one creature of your choice in your aura takes lightning damage based on your level. So it'd be a 1d6 if I pass. Okay. So I think he has to pass a dex DC 14. Dex is, is ooh plus five

So I need a nine or better roll low. Oh, it was on a six and then it rolled over to a 14 So that's a 19. Okay, I'm gonna roll my d6 and then I'm gonna cut that number in half That is a four so you get to lightning damage He's still standing though, right? Yeah He's like he's gonna like that cartoonish thing now where like his clothes and his hair, like smoke is coming off a little bit. He looks a little dazed. He's kind of like drunk standing on his feet. He's seen a little static shots. Let me ground you. And then I hit him with like some letters

show up in front of toll that are like red and like a little like the written like in a bloody font that say something. Finish him. Finish him. Yeah. Let me ground him. Waste him. 12 that are like red and like a little like they're written like in a bloody font that say something finish him Yeah, let me ground him wasted gonna hit with my war hammer again It's the 22 Hits all right doing damage Believe it's pronounced damage damage. That's 10 plus 2, 12. 12 points of damage. Yeah, while the pirate is there stunned, you bring down your war hammer to firmly ground him,

and he falls to the ground unmoving. And the person who asked about the finisher lets out a loud cheer. Woo! It turns around and begins handing out and receiving money as well. Cool. So they bet on people who weren't even part of the initial fight? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, cool. Yeah. I think we're winning.

I don't want to get in the weeds about gambling, but you can bet that things will happen or things won't happen or like you can make other bets as well besides just like which side will win. Gotcha. True. Thank you for explaining gambling to me. I'm a good person who doesn't gamble. Just kidding. Gambling's fine if it's legal in your country. We'll keep it broad.

We'll have a special How to Gamble episode on Tales of the Stinking Dragon. I think that that's my turn. I'm still within five feet of Gambot and Gunther, correct? Yes. Okay. I think that at this point, all the fighting seems to be subsiding, and the remaining pirates are all kind of like putting their weapons away and shaking hands Kind of like after a little league game where you like high five each other and say good game

Uh, they're all good gaming each other, you know in little league when you murder each other. Yeah And then you shake hands and high five and eat orange slices after yeah, you got a Dairy Queen if you want Only the pirates wouldn't eat orange slices because they're getting scurvy It's even more important than eating them orange slices. While they're doing that, could Gunther go to the pirate captain and search him and then also take his shoes off? Yeah, sure, why not? Taking his shoes off? Is this like a ritual? Why are you taking his supported feet thing? I'm checking for something.

Okay, I know we were talking about feet earlier. What are you checking for? I'm checking for something. Okay, I know we were talking about feet earlier. What are you checking for? I'm looking for a particular set of feet. Care to share what kind of feet you're looking for? I think he just wants a feet, cause he got a feet. Yeah, do I notice anything unique about this captain's feet? No?

No. No. Okay. Good, there are you seeking revenge on someone who has six toes or some weird feet? Yes. Ah, you called it. Seeking revenge on someone who has six toes or some weird feet. Yes I had no idea either. I was like, I don't know where this is going. He's looking for the man with six feet six toes Well, this one's gonna be six feet under we're all buddies Why don't you tell us what kind of feet you're looking for and then we can help you find it. Six toes. Six toes.

Oh, six toes. Oh, I told you. Yeah, you called it. You called it. Wow. On both feet or one foot? Just the one foot with six toes. On the right or the left, do you remember?

It was on the right. Okay, got it. Now, did they get this extra toe from like some sort of hokey pokey accident? No? Okay, nevermind. I do not understand how you get extra- You put your right foot in, you put your right foot out, you know, maybe when you put it

in and you collide with another foot and gain the toe, I don't know. Da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da Thank you, dog. No, I don't believe he did the hokey pookies. Okay. Was there anything on the body of the captain? Yeah, I mean, the captain has a rapier and a pistol. Can I take the rapier and the pistol?

Yeah. Just a basic rapier? Yeah, it's just a standard rapier. And why not? He also had a small purse filled with some silver. Three silver pieces. Sorry, I wrote that. I hand out two of the silvers.

I'll just hand out all three of them to party members. Ooh, a tip. Natty gives it to Gigi and he proceeds to eat it. Maybe we could give these to Windtwin if we happen to come in contact with him again. You know what? I think it's time to get a little helper for Gigi. Natty grabs a drop of blood, a piece of flesh from the captain, and then grinds a little bit of a exposed bone and casts animate dead on the captain.

Okay. Oh my god. This spell creates an undead servant, it imbues the target with a with a foul mimicry of life. Raising as an undead creature, the target becomes a Skellington if you chose a pile of bones or a zombie if you chose a corpse. So he's a zombie. Zombie, definitely a corpse. He only lasts for 24 hours but I can cast it again on him after a long rest if I want to keep him. Toll sees this and his instinct would be to attack but he knows that you mentioned that you have this new thing and he turns to Natty and he says I'm gonna ask that I have a DNR. So if I go down Hey Katton, what's your what was your name? I don't know if he can talk but what was the captain's name?

Let's first establish if he can talk real fast just because this may come back and be important later So I'd like to set the precedent now. I don't know, can zombies talk? So zombies can understand the languages of its creator, but cannot speak. Okay. So that's according to the rules for zombies. So I'm going to say.

I'm going to need to come up with something a little easier to say than that. I'm gonna need to come up with something a little easier to say than that. Alright, everybody meet Grumbles. Good evening Captain Grumbles. Captain Grumbles. Is Grumbles part of the rabble faction by any chance? Because that would go pretty well. I believe that's what I said.

No, he was the conservation. Patchy was part of the Council of Conservation. Yeah, and then one of the pirates that was fighting the captain was the rabble, which means that no, the captain was part of troop troop. I see a dancer. Grr. Grr. Grr. Grr. How do you spell troop troop?

T-R-O-O-P-T-R-O-U-P-E. I nailed it. I'll take my inspiration to hide. Alright. Captain, take care of Gigi. Grrrrr. Gigi has a leash, right? Yeah.

Yeah. I guess you hand the leash to the captain? Yeah. To Grumbles? Okay. And Gigi starts gnawing on his leg. Okay. Grumbles just is watching.

Alright. Doug, what do we do now? I guess we should probably find a way out of this cage, huh? gnawing on his leg. Okay. Grumbles just is watching. All right, Doug, what do we do now? Well, I guess we should probably find a way out of this cage, huh? Does anybody like approach the cage, like a door or a referee or does that dude up above us do anything? Or maybe, Gunto, I don't know if you want to scream out

to see if... Phasmabomb. Hi, we're looking for Phismabomb. Nope. We're looking for Fizzbun. Nope. Fizzbun. Fizzbun. I never know if it's Gunther saying things a weird way or if he's just saying it wrong. That was a hard B. That was not the correct word.

Yeah, that was wrong. Nobody seems to reply or pay any attention, but the pirates who were there who just high-fived each other are making their way to the staircase. That was to the south? The staircase was, uh making their way to the staircase. That was to the south? The staircase was... yeah, to the south. That appears to ascend. As we're going to the locker room... Should we follow?

We should go to the rat party! Yeah, I think so. As Toll leaves. Because he's never gotten this kind of attention before, he wants to wave to the audience. Thank you! Thank you, good night. A couple of them jeer at you angrily, and then a few others are cheering with fists full of money, excitedly.

My biggest fans, shout out to you. While we're going up, Gunther go up to one of the pirates that's walking up and be like, you fought very bravely. I'm Gunther. Yeah, the pirate kind of smiles at you and reaches out a hand to shake. Gunther reaches up and shakes it. Yeah, as you all are making your way to the staircase,

Gunther's chatting with this pirate and shaking hands. Told, in the corner of your eyes, something hooks your attention, like a fish to the lure. A shadowy silhouette looms just past the heads of the exiting crowd. The menacing figure's wearing a Minotaur horned helmet, wielding a mace spiked with scores of shark teeth. Oh!

I don't know this guy. You turn to face the figure and lock eyes with none other than Captain Yarrel Ironclad. Oh, Ironclad. Uhhh... Ironclad? A reunion! Noooo! Find out what happens with that in the next episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon. I got captain, you got captain, everybody get captain! Captain's all the way down.

This is not a fun captain. This is no Captain Crunch. You guys gotta be careful around this one. All right. Well, thanks for listening everybody. I had a lot of fun in this episode. There's a a lot of variety. A lot of things going on. It's uh, it's always, always a joy. It's fun to push new buttons. I want to give this victory. I want to say a shout out to my god. A shout out to the sea drinker. Without you, I couldn't do this. 12-3-16. Drinker without you, I couldn't do this. Yeah.

12, 316. Hey everyone, hope you're enjoying the show. Thank you so much. And if you'd like to give us some support, head over to store.stinkydragontod.com. We've got some merch out for you. We've got a Council of Barbarians t-shirt, all your favorite barbarians on one t-shirt. We've also got our Stinky Spring Collection 25

with a vintage dusty dragon tee, Prestidigitation Spelling tee, Vibe Check hat, and much more. Again, go over to store.stinkydragonpod.com, we would really appreciate it. New episodes and details on the Stinky Dragon premiere every other Wednesday wherever you stream podcasts and on the Stinky Dragon YouTube channel. Want to listen to the show 48 hours early and at free? Become a patron at StinkyDragonPod.com or become a member of Beacon at Beacon.tv.

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of Behind the Screen. What are the steps that go into creating an NPC? My current process is I'll roll two personality traits and try and mash them together. And it creates some complex, interesting characters rather than just like a typical archetype of a character. And then I'll give them one physical characteristic rather than like a full description, because typically as a player, if you give them too many details, they won't take it in or they won't remember or it's just too much information.

And then instead of more physical characteristics, I might give them something that they're wearing or holding and give that a descriptor as well. And so those are kind of the basic building blocks, give them the name of course, but it's funny. We played a episode not too long ago where they came across these little minion type creatures. I didn't write any information.

I gave generic information for all of them, but there's no personalities, there's no names. And I'm so glad I did because they killed them all. It's just like, it would have been a wasted effort to give a backstory to this character that's never gonna come up again. It's tough because if you write a backstory and all this compelling information for an NPC, the party's never gonna come up again. It's tough because if you write a backstory and all this compelling information for an NPC,

the party's never gonna hear it, right? They're gonna end up inevitably killing that NPC or not asking any of the personal questions. But lots of times, if you don't write that stuff, then the party's gonna really wanna drill in. Who is this person? Where are they from? How did they grow up?

What are their parents' names like? So there's really a balance to it. What helps me convey uniqueness to the NPCs is some of the random personality traits you give them. You know, this person is missing part of their leg or they speak like their tongue is stuck in their mouth. Their tongue is stuck to the roof of their mouth, which kind of helps differentiate that NPC from other NPCs. Again, all of that over at StinkyDragonPod.com. We can't thank you enough for your support that lets us make this show. The number of incredible voice actors lent their voices to this show, including the pirate captain voiced by Jordan Sweers from 100% Eat Podcast,

the crowd heckler voiced by Peyton MacLeod at Peyton MacLeod, and private private parts voiced by Ben Ernst at Halcyon underscore Ben. This episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon was produced by Ben Ernst, written, edited, composed by Michael Reisinger with additional editing work by Catherine Arnold. Tune in next time for another thrilling episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon. You guys know what time it is. It's Doug on the Ones and Twos at Equals Three's. Welcome to today's show.

Well, we are in the midst of a pirate battle with three different factions. Are they fighting each other? Are they fighting us? Is it both? Let's find out as we continue the tales from the Stinky Dragon. Even though if anybody does hear this, it's probably at the end of the episode and you already know what happened. Doug, unfortunately, even with his new telepathic ability doesn't have the sense to see the future but hey maybe someday, maybe on the next level up, there might be a feat that

Doug gets. A little OP. But we shall see. If the great powers that be allow Doug to see into the future. I couldn't think of something that rhymes with that. Doug should probably also use his time to stretch his legs. Well, he does not.

Maybe that's in my best interest, but who knows? Doug's gonna stretch his legs. Doug could see what will be. Oh my God. How did I not think of that? I was peeing and I was like screaming, what will be. Oh my god, how did I not think of that? I was peeing and I was like screaming, what will be?