Tales from the Stinky Dragon - C03 - Ep. 21 - Slip of the Ship

Episode Date: July 9, 2025

Brutaliteam sets sail to find the mysterious island of Nonymo! Support us directly on Patreon https://www.patreon.com/stinkydragon - get access to ad-free episodes, bonus content like Stinky Dragon Adventures & Second Wind, our patreon-exclusive discord, and more! Check out our new Infinight Legends Collection and limited edition Anniversary collection at store.stinkydragonpod.com ! Follow us on our socials at https://linktr.ee/TalesFromTheStinkyDragon Cast: Gus Sorola, Blaine Gibson, Barbara Dunkelman, Jon Risinger, Chris Demarais Writer/Editor/Composer: Micah Risinger Producer: Benjamin Ernst Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hey there Critters, this year marks our 10 year anniversary of Critical Role and we are partnering with Fathom Entertainment to bring our 2025 tour to movie theaters across the US and Canada. Head to theater to see our game Daggerheart played in Exandria for the first time ever on August 5th. And of course, we've got the wedding of the year coming to theaters on October 15th with an iconic Jester and Ford wedding. Visit fathomintertainment.com slash Critical Role to find tickets and theaters near you. That's fathomentertainment.com slash critical role. Merry Meetings, all you merids!

Make waves into the stinky dragon and drink up our latest leaf juice! Genie Meanie Miney Mo! It's a mixture of Misty Veil matcha powder, created or destroyed cucumber water, water blasted basil leaves, and topped with an aquatic flashed lemon slice. One mouthful of this marine life mixer and you'll wish you had three more. Drinks, not wishes. Three is all you get. Previously, our adventurers were acquainted with Elva, Tol's thaumatec sister.

She dropped the disguise of imposter Pankak and let B-Team in on her quiet quest to search for the sea drinker, but their relative reunion was cut short with cannon fire. The privateer pressured the party to provide his stolen prisoners and map. B-Team blundered through a half-baked portal plan, which ultimately climaxed in Latch onto our libation and let's leap into our lore. Hello, everyone. Welcome to Tales of the Stinky Dragon. I'm your Dungeon Master Gustavo Cerola. I'm going to hit our four players with an arrow. Pew pew pew pew. Wow, wow, wow, wow, wow.

She's a lot of coffee from Gus. That's not the sound that an arrow makes. They don't go pew pew pew. Pins on the arrow. Can you give us the sound that an arrow makes. They don't go pew, pew, pew. Pins on the arrow. Can you give us the sound of an arrow, John? What was that? It's actually good. That's actually really good.

It's just air. It's all his. Just looks like you guys are spitting on your microphones and they're now stinky. Maybe a twang. Maybe a twang of the... Hit the target. I'm blanking on what's the rope part.

The thread. Okay. This week's arrow question. It's never too early to think of the future. What are your retirement plans? And that's submitted by FaeBird. Rolling. Oh, roll initiative.

Yeah, let's get this ball rolling. Let's get this party rolling. 17. Yes, I have had a lot of coffee blamed to answer your earlier question. Thank you for confirming. One. 11. Tree. 11.

Tree. Okay, so you got Natty first with a 17, Gunther second with an 11, 12, third with a three, and finally bringing up the rear, Doug with a one. Doug with a one. And twos. All right, Natty, why don't you lead us off? Hello everybody, I'm John Reisinger

and I play Natty Wonder, the Drow Warlock drag queen. I'm gonna make sure to throw that in there. People need to remember, there's a queen in this party. Work, diva. Thank you. On the topic of retirement plans, I'm gonna be honest, I haven't really put a lot of thought into retirement plans,

which I think is sometimes kind of common with people. It's hard to think that forward. But I think in my particular instance, once I became the mother of what will soon be the bringer of the apocalypse, I figured that's my job until he does his job, which will be the end of all things. I don't need to worry about retirement. So that's my plan. Plan is no plan. Your plan is for your child to end the world. Yeah. What a beautiful ending. Isn't that easy? It's a natural order to things. Everything has to end.

Can you name anything that never ends? No, you can't cause that's not how stuff works. Time? That story from the eighties. Time will end at some point. I see what you did there, Gus. Everything will end. Nothing is infinite.

Or this is the song that never ends. I hate it. Nineties kids remember. Yeah. Sounds like a single mother drag queen raising a child that'll bring about the apocalypse sounds like a great show on TLC I will watch. Thank you, Natty for letting us know your retirement plans. Up next we have Gunther.

Hello, I'm Chris Demaris playing the Gunther. The male croak folk. Playing the Gunther. The Gunther. And for my retirement, I have one of two plans. One is to go and back with, hopefully see my wife and kids again and grow old with them and embrace them and become a grand crook. And then the other is death.

Wow. I sense a theme here. It's very practical. It's a morbid party. Well, if I do not achieve one, then I will achieve the other. I'm still caught up on the TLC show about Natties. Cause it's just, it's like the show after the secret lives of Mormon wives would be the drag queen raising the anti-crisis essentially. I will just call it the gay agenda.

So Gunther, I do want to point out you can achieve both of those goals if you want. I know you said one or the other. Yeah. Well, one is inevitable. One before the other, you can't do the other way. It's very true. Yeah, so there is- As far as we know.

The order is very important to me. And how many kids does Gunther have currently? Well, a lot. Okay, thanks Gunther. You know, we're halfway through this arrow question. I hope that we can proceed without someone talking about death being their retirement plan. Okay, next, we got Tove.

Yoo-hoo! Yeah, it's me, Tove, talking about retirement. You know, to be honest, I do not know the life expectancy of a Thalmann Tech, which is what I am. Surprise, surprise if you are like skipping ahead three episodes. Wow, what have you doing? You just missed all of this cool story. We haven't asked yet.

Do you have a warranty? No. That's a good question. No warranty plan? Okay. I don't know. Don't objectify me, Natty slash John. You just said, I don't know how long I last.

You brought up the topic of breaking down. I was wondering if you got a plan for how to get fixed up. I do not know. You are asking me questions that are out of my understanding. I don't know. Ironclad didn't want to spring the extra 15 bucks at checkout for the Extended Product Protection Plan. He's nuts, he did not get the Best Buy Geek Squad

extended coverage. So anywho, yeah, I think I'm just going to continue to work and I might explore different hobbies and make those jobs and, you know, maybe take on different personas, you know, like I can try out different looks, you know, why not? You know, in worst case scenario, I break down and hopefully I will become like some beautiful statue, you know, like you could put me on top of a fountain and I just rust there and birds can land on me and hopefully not poop on me. Yeah.

I can't tell if that's like a, potentially a form of torture to be just like trapped in a body that you are constantly like conscious and aware, but you can't move or do anything. Yeah, that is like the premise of the song, I am Iron Man, you know, by Black Sabbath. That's like totally what happens to him. It's also the Tin Man from Wizard of Oz.

Yeah, but we do not talk about the Tin Man because if you have not seen Vickid, he's such a jerky, jerky face. I do not associate with the Tin Man. So, yeah. I've not seen Wicked. I'm learning something here. You know what?

Also really quick for our Patreon listeners, I just found a camera reel that was like eight to 10 years old. And it's a picture of me from middle school. Like, so it's older than that. Dresses the Tin Man. I've never had photographic proof that I played the Tin Man in middle school.

I found it, and I think that's something I'll have to bring to Second Wind. Did we ever talk about how you played the Tin Man? I played the Scarecrow in a camp play. We have talked about that, yeah. But I have visual proof. I'll show you guys and get you guys hyped. Maybe we could talk about it on Second Wind.

We will, yeah. Which, if you're unfamiliar, that's another podcast we do, just for people who support us over on our Wind. We will, yeah. Which, if you're unfamiliar, that's another podcast we do just for people who support us over on our Patreon, it's StinkyDragonPod.com. If you support us, you can get access to Second Wind on top of many other special abilities, special perks, there you go. Nice, and abilities.

Listen, I'm looking at a D&D character sheet. This is why they script commercials. You get many perks. Plus Tengu Arcana. Check it out, StinkyDragonPod.com. Y' why they script commercials. Check it out. singingjunkapod.com. Yeah. Okay. That's me. Bye. Thank you. Cole. Oh, I'm also I'm Blaine Gibson. Sorry. He's apologizing for being Blaine Gibson. Yeah, that's my bad guys. I'm sorry. Finally, we got Doug. Hello everyone. I am Barbara Dunkelman and I play Doug Boone, the artificial bug bearer currently at level

five. And you know, I've thought a lot about retirement and there's like so many things you could do. You know, you could do bird watching, you could pick up a new hobby, travel. All these things sound pretty good. But you know, I feel like Doug being someone who really likes to like build stuff and create stuff, I think I really want to get into, and I'm going to try to pronounce this as best I can, gardening. I think the idea of like, you know, starting your own garden and like being able to grow

these beautiful things and things you could eat. And you got to be really precise about how you do it. Everything requires different love and attention. I think it'd be really fun and like a good way to spend Doug's energy after, you know, when he's old and done his life's work. If you need like a scarecrow or someone to hold very still to scare off the birds, I know somebody.

I know, Tolev, I think that would actually be the perfect pairing. When you retire into a statue, you could be my scale girl. That sounds nice. I'll take a long nap. I honestly didn't think you were going to say garden. You were building that up and I thought you were going to say that you were just going to get into trains. Oh, miniature trains.

Maybe maybe Doug already doubles in the trains that you choose. Maybe, maybe Doug already doubles in the Twain's, the two twos and the such. We're going to, we're going to find Doug's like childhood room and it's just going to be, that's all it is, is just like 30 trains going around. But they're all like different directions. Yeah. You got to have your obsession. This is very off topic and I promise I'll only talk about it very briefly. I learned of a train station in Hokkaido, Japan.

It's kind of like rural out in the country and they don't see many passengers anymore. So one of the things you can do if you go to that train station is you can stay in the train station. It's like a Airbnb kind of deal. That's awesome. The station master will cook you food and like grill like barbecue out on the station platform for you. That's awesome. Yeah. And I was like, man, I really want to do that. That sounds so cool. And that's one of the main reasons I want to go to Japan is that I am a train kid. And I, every time I hear about these special trains, the cat, that's the conductor of the train

station or the one that looks like the spirit away train. I'm like, I got to get on these trains. The ship is yours captain. At this point point Gunther you help Doug to his feet presumably and Laskill walks over to you Toll. They pat you on the shoulder, reach into their pocket and pull up the mat from earlier and ask, So, do you know how to sail? Because it's time to sail to a missing island! Overhead the rain soaked pirate flag of your commandeered ship flaps violently in the storm

sky. It bears an insignia of a skull wearing a blindfold, and you hear a voice that yells from the port side, We have them where we want them. Fire on the blindfold. Over there to the, uh, Star Bow port side general area. You look over and see the privateer screaming at the Null crew on an armored bowl-shaped ship.

Long spindly blades protrude from its railing. Spinning propellers are fixed at its bow and its stern. And the side of the hull reads the bow blade. But sir, isn't that ship a part of the Dockmaster fleet? The Privateer shoves a nearby Gnoll aside and yells, UGH, USELESS GNOLL RATS! He grabs a corked vase, yanks a crank, and throws the vase into a spinning propeller now aimed at your ship. The ceramic shatters to pieces and unleashes a cloud

of greenish-yellow gas blowing straight for you all. As it draws closer, Elva turns to you, Tolv. They forget quickly that I've been on this ship before? Come with me. I'll need those raging muscles of yours. OK, yeah. She makes a dash across the deck for the capstan. Clockwise changes how we look to them. Counterclockwise shows them what they fear most. Your call, brother. I would say counterclockwise if we are going to try to scare them.

Also, I'm so sorry. Did I mishear them? Is there a thing called the Beyblade? Are they going to let her rip? Maybe I'm wrong. I heard the same thing, Tov. Yeah, like, what is this, the 90s? Are you gonna pull out Pokemon cards and a yo-yo as well?

Oh no, it's the Bowblade. It's one of the three ships that are part of the Dockmaster. What's the other one called, like the Furby or the Fearby? Ooh. Ooh, no, it's the Flying Eel, of course. The blindfold, the bow blade, and the flying eel. Oh, yeah.

All right, that's what we're on. He says he's firing on us. Okay. And our flag has a blindfold on the skull. Okay, so counterclockwise. Yeah. Okay, we're going to show them what blindfold on the skull. Okay, so counter-clockwise. Yah! Okay, we're going to show them what they fear the most. What do you think that is, brother?

What should we show them? What do they fear the most? If they're like ocean-faring, then I think like a giant squid would be very scary. Oh, you're gonna use the illusion thing. Yah! That's what we are. Yah!

Yah, the blindfold. What if you just showed them a vision of us winning? You're gonna use the illusion thing. That's that's what we are Yeah What if you just showed them a vision of us winning something that was killed him the most I mean, you know, I like I'd like maybe like oh how about a giant squid? riding a surfboard on a tidal wave Wait, the giant squid is on a surfboard? That'd be cool. That's terrifying. That's a big surfboard.

It would be a very scary squid. It's gonna hang a... Okay, Elva begins helping you, you're told, and you begin pushing the capstan counterclockwise. And as you do so, that cloud of gas begins enveloping everyone, filling your lungs. So I need everyone to go ahead and make me a constitution save. Okay. Fine and dandy.

Eleven. Twenty-five. Twelve. That's a nine. Plus three. Twelve. This poisonous cloud of gas begins filling your lungs and everyone begins coughing violently. Gunther, you save.

You only take 10 points of damage. Everyone else who fails takes 20 points of damage. Oh. Um. Doug's down. You begin coughing violently. Guys, I'm, uh. Doug begins coughing violently and then stops.

You must be better. Yeah. That is very, very close to being down. I'm not doing so hot. Yeah, I'm down. I'm completely down. All right. As Doug slides around on the deck, you see a giant tidal wave appear on the horizon

and very quickly come closer and closer. And what is that on the tidal wave? Is that a longboard with a giant squid on top of it? Yeah! Oh no. It looks like it's getting closer and closer and it's going to overtake the bow blade, which very quickly turns so that it's perpendicular to the wave, pointed away from it,

to try to ride the wave out, which turns it away from you all. Perfect. How do you put your foot on the gas? I give Elva the honors. It's been a bit since I've been at sea. So Elva, let's use our ship-boating experience and get us out of here. Okay, brother. We'll do.

Elva begins pulling on ropes and instructing you, Tov, and you work together solidly as a team. It's just like the old days, you know. It's been a little while, but it comes back to you very quickly But I just want to clarify something I know in the last episode we were referring to Natty as Captain Natty But who was at the helm like who's navigating who's running the ship here right now like Natty 12 Obviously not Doug What is your orders Doug Uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh Toll who knows what he's doing, but if you know what you're doing, you shall

take captain. Captain. So we have three captains now. We have Captain Natty, Captain Grumbles, and Captain Toll. So you're giving me the mantle of responsibility, Captain Hood? Yes, because I have never been at sea before. It is scary. Also, look at that giant squid on a surfboard.

Can a squid do a shaka? Is that possible? Like I know it's got like a tentacle tip at the end of its tentacle, but can it like fold it over? Figure out a way to draw it and send it to us on our Discord. Yeah. Hang in 10. How could there be three captains

if we only have two hands? Like I can, one captain's fine, two captains, it's two salutes, but three captains, it's like like it's one too many courtesy you can salute the other two in courtesy to me me and Captain Grumles we're just captain in name only Captain Grumles ain't even alive anymore and I just I just did enough to give a guess this ship I'm not in charge I don't know what even I think that is people have who have experience on the ship I just did enough to give us this ship. I'm not in charge. I don't know what even any of this stuff is.

People who have experience on the ship, painting, the helm, should take over ASAP. I want to be very clear though. Captain Nadi has such a good ring to it and Captain Grumbles has been through so much. We cannot take his rank away. So how about I am Admiral Tov. Okay, sure.

Just to be clear, you all are in the army and I believe the title was actually team leader I'm just raining it back in. What these naval terms aren't part of the army what are you talking about Gus? I will say that I admire you Toll so Admiral makes sense. It's a good soldier okay so. So, you know, as one third captain of the team, I nominate myself as admiral and I say that we, um, the squid brigade is we will now be known, you know, because, you know, we were the B team, but we have so many extra members. So now I think we should be called the Squid Brigade. Come on man, this ship. How many of the masts have been shot while we talked about this? I'm like, come on guys. All right, Private Parks is writing

all of this down furiously. Okay, let's get out of here though. We should make our escape. Okay, you turn the ship towards the open sea and begin setting sail. Elva turns to you, Tolv, salutes, and says, Where are we heading to, Admiral Tolv? Uh, let me see, where is my boy Laskiel?

With that, Laskiel pulls out a map and points to three points on that map where they believe the island was last seen and says, We could head in this direction. Thank you, Navigator, You've also been promoted. So we are going that way. We are going to save the sea drinker. Oh, okay.

You're set sail leaving land behind you and it fades slowly into the distance. And I assume at this point someone tends to dug and props him back up on his feet. I will try. Not the Captain Grumble style. No, please don't reanimate me. Oh no.

He's not dead yet, he's incapacitated. I know what dead is, I've created enough. What do you do, Natty, to try to tend to Doug? Since what took Doug down was noxious gas, I do the compressions to try to get that gas out of his lungs, but instead of doing it staying alive, although I know there's a new one. There's a new one. And there's like, it always was like, do it to the rhythm of staying alive.

And then they updated to another song, but actually, Nattie's going to do it to nine to five. And it's just, oh, Captain Grumbles give mouth to mouth. No, I'm not mean. It's just the idea. Y'all want to be mean. Y'all want to be mean to each other. I just Googled. So there are several certified CPR songs.

Eye of the Tiger, Stronger by Britney Spears. I mean, there's, it goes on and on. Want to be by the Spice Girls. I guess like every successor generation it goes on and on. wannabe by the spice girls. I guess like every successive generation, you keep finding new songs to use. Not enough people know staying alive. So they got to like to another one.

Yeah. Okay. Doug with a gasp, you fill your lungs with clean air and wake up and find yourself on the ship surrounded by your friends with Natty beating furiously on your chest. I'm gonna say Captain Grumbles is probably nearby. Doug gets up with such force. He knocks Captain Grumbles. Captain Grumbles I think would then hit the side of the ship and maybe toss overboard. Are you trying to get rid of my captain? I mean, I'm just he was close by.

He woke up with a fright. Barbara, I appreciate the effort and I'm going to reward any opportunity to try to get rid of NPCs. So take a take an inspiration. Man overboard. Oh no. I'm so sorry. He's not falling over this time, but take that inspiration die for the attempt.

I appreciate it. Meta gaming wise, do I just regain one HP? Yeah, you could set it one. And we're about to get into some downtime as you all are traveling on the sea. So you'll be able to take like a long rest or short rest or do whatever it is you need to do to try to recover some of that health. Hey, Doug, we're at the same level HP. Nattie, I've never felt more connected to you in my whole life.

I say we just, we hang out like below deck for a little bit until that man says we can take a rest. You know, I think Nattie, I think like I might have seen your wife briefly. Oh! Really beautiful. Oh, I'm kind of jealous. Hey, smack me real hard real quick. Maybe I'll get toer for sick. That raises an interesting point.

What you just said there, there is a lower deck that you all have not explored yet. So really, like I said, we're going to be in a downtime. So if you want to explore the ship, if there's something you want to do, if there's like objectives or things you want to do in this downtime, you know, let me know. This is a good time to try to kind of explore and build out those things. So I'm going to go ahead and go ahead and go ahead and go ahead and go ahead and go ahead and go ahead and go ahead and go ahead and go ahead and go ahead and go ahead and go ahead and go ahead and go ahead and go ahead and go ahead and go ahead and go ahead and go ahead

and go ahead and go ahead and go ahead and go ahead and go ahead and go ahead and go ahead and go ahead and go ahead and go ahead and go ahead and go ahead and go ahead and go ahead and go ahead and go ahead and go ahead and go ahead and go ahead and go ahead and go ahead and go ahead and go ahead and go ahead and go ahead and go ahead and go ahead and go ahead and go ahead and go ahead and go ahead and go ahead and go ahead and go ahead and go ahead and go ahead and go ahead and go ahead and go ahead and go ahead and go ahead and go ahead and go ahead and go ahead and go ahead and go ahead and go ahead and go ahead and go ahead and go ahead and go ahead and go ahead and go ahead and go ahead and go ahead and go ahead

and go ahead and go ahead and go ahead and go ahead and go ahead and go ahead and go ahead and go ahead and go ahead and go ahead and go ahead and go ahead and go ahead and go ahead if you want to explore the ship, if there's something you want to do, if there's like objectives or things you want to do in this downtime, you know, let me know. This is a good time to try to kind of explore and build out those things. Now that all of my secrets are out, all of my skeletons have been thrust out of the closet. I can admit to so many new things, like if I were to take a rest, I have this thing called Sentinel shut eye.

I don't sleep, you know, this entire time where we've been sleeping in bunk beds, I've just been watching you sleep the entire night, all three of you. Isn't that fun? My goodness. Is that why back in the first episode, you wanted to sleep in your own bunk, separate from everyone?

Yeah, because I just like to sit here and watch my party, make sure that they're all sleeping well. You know, I do, I want to say though, Doug, I think you should look into a CPAP machine. You are very difficult time breathing. You snore very loudly. I'm just quite concerned. Oh, well, you know, I just,

I think it's cause I fall asleep on my back so often cause these beds are really small. So I'm trying to get comfortable, you know. Gus, don't you sleep with one of those? I do. It's great. I love it. Let me tell you, if you snore or you think you have apnea, go see a doctor about it because you don't know what real sleep is. You don't know what real sleep is until you get a CPAP.

I'm just saying. Yeah. Take care of yourself. It's important. Yeah. I think Doug would spend some time sleeping and actually like resting. Cause he's, he's badly hurt and probably wants to regain a little bit of his health and also some some of his spells and whatnot that he's exhausted. What is Doug's self-care routine? What recenters and

rejuvenates little Doug? I think honestly Doug's not used to being on the waddle but back when Doug would stay home He he always dreamed of being in the ocean So he made a little machine that would make these like ocean sounds on it to help him sleep So I think right now being in a boat with natural ocean sounds he's he's out. He's out like a light But metagame wise I guess is it am I able to take a long rest or is that something that we might not have time for? Yeah, why not? Are we all able to long rest or?

Well, I mean, you tell me, like, whatever it is you want to do, what's your, what are you trying to do? If everyone rests, you know, who's driving the ship, like who's at the helm? I have an activity that I would like to have some help from, but it's from require the whole team. So I shall wait till Doug. Doug, are you sure for Douglas or is it just Doug? Oh, just Doug.

OK, just Doug until Doug recuperates. Shall we do shifts, Admiral? Well, I will be staying above deck with Elva because I miss her so dearly. So I will be doing my Sentinel zone out thing with her and we'll be going in shifts driving the ship and Catching up while you guys go below deck and rest up you guys have been working so hard you go squid crew I command you to take a rest squid brigade squid brigade. Whatever you are already forgot it immediately already forgot it I took a long rest. I need that I'll take a long rest same. Okay. Can I make sure I just I've noticed last skill has a tendency.

I want to make sure that my stuff is I'm sleeping on my supplies or under it. OK. That raises a good question. Where are you all going to sleep on the on the deck here? Now I would go underneath. You said there was like a under below deck. I had to burrow. Yeah there is a lower deck you can go down.

Is it called a galley? No that's where you eat. Quarters? Quarters! Quarters I think is where you sleep. Yeah that's where I want to sleep. You go to the lower deck and as you walk below deck Doug, you know it's kind of dark, there's very little illumination below deck and you see two dark and dank jail cells.

And the only exits you see are the stairs that ascend back up to the main deck. And there's a door at the bow and a door at the stern. Bow front, stern back? Yes. I'll do the stern. You begin walking to the door at the stern when two creatures stand up and begin calling you over

from the jail cells. Hey, hey, you! Oh no. You're not a gnoll. Let us out. I'm just a visitor on this ship. But what did you guys do? Why are you in jail?

I'm sure people say this all the time, but for us it really was just a misunderstanding. Uh huh. Well, I mean, I don't, uh... This is awkward. I don't have a key or anything, so... I'm Memeur. What's your name? Memeur? Hi, Doug. I'm Doug Boone. Nice to meet you.

I'm Memeur, and over there, that's Bethesda. Oh! Big, fan-y-o games. Memeur is a dwarf, and Bethesda is an elf. Do they look familiar at all to me? Make a wisdom check. 21. No, they do not seem familiar to you.

Okay. Where did the privateer go? Where are the nulls? Are you here to rescue us? No. I'm so glad Doug is the one who has to deal with this. Yeah. Doug is my ideal candidate to awkwardly deal with this. Could I use one of my new abilities to-

Oh, do some telepathy? Yeah. Sense thoughts or read thoughts? I don't know which one I should- Probably read to give you a direct answer, right? Yeah, I'm gonna do read thoughts on a neemer, the one talking to me. Okay.

Maybe like to know what they actually did to get into those cells. Yeah, you use detect thoughts and reach out and try to scan memer's mind, but you don't hear anything or you don't sense anything. It's just totally blank. Oh. Like their mind is 100% empty.

Does that mean they're not real? I don't know. You've never encountered this before. Normally, whenever you detect thoughts on someone, you hear something. Okay, well, this is weird. I'm getting kind of heebie-jeebies from you guys, so I'm just gonna,

maybe I'll circle back around and see what I can do to help next time I see ya. No, wait, don't go. We're so hungry. We've been trapped in here for so long. Aw. Huh. Feed them, Doug.

They are hungry. I'm trying to think, like, what else I could do to maybe, like... Talk to them more. Just talk to them more. Ask them questions. Have a conversation. Ha ha ha ha. So, like, I guess you said it was a misunderstanding

why you'll heal, but, like what what did you actually do? Why did they bring you down? Why did they arrest you? I'll be honest with you Doug. You seem like a nice guy. I am. He is! Like I said, it was purely a misunderstanding. Bethesda and I were playing a joke and the crew took it the wrong way. We were playing pranks and we applied some itching powder to the nulls. And then we pretended we were judging a null dancing competition. We were playing pranks and we applied some itching powder to the nulls. And then we pretended we were judging

a null dancing competition. We thought it was hilarious. The crew was very upset. You know, I gotta say, that is actually a very funny prank. It is just a prank, bro. Thank you. Exactly, it's just a prank, bro.

Could I like do any type of like, I don't know, like an arcana check to see if they're like some type of illusions or something like that? Hmm. Or I don't know. Tell you what, make me an arcana and a Reality check? Perception?

Perception check? No, not a reality. Okay. Uh, arcana is six six. And her perception is... sixteen. Memur does not appear to be an illusion. It appears that this is a dwarf standing right in front of you. Okay. But... Bethesda? Yeah, Bethesda also appears to be, uh, 100% real.

But Bethesda hasn't said anything, you've just been talking to Memur so far. Yeah, that's true. Well, uh, so you say your buddy's name is Bethesda but that's though is he telling the truth is that what you guys did just for reference me more but that's the are both she they're both but that's the you know she was saying that this is what you guys did to get down here but is that true so anything else so I'm gonna I'm gonna I'm gonna break the fourth wall and met a game with you a bit the reason I haven't had Bethesda talking,

she talks with an Italian accent and I hate doing Italian accents, so bear with me here. As Bethesda answers you. So excited, so happy. It's a true, will you play the prank? Yes, yes. Can we do this?

My God, we don't need to recast that. Let's just use the raw audio. Yes. Quick note to recast that. Let's just use the raw audio. Yeah. I'm trying to see here if there's anything in detect bots where it's like you don't detect bots of certain types of creatures. Barbara, I think we need to know more about Bethesda and their life story and all the

adventures that took them to get to this ship. Full conversation, heart to heart with Bethesda for the rest of the episode, right? You know, the beginning of 22 Jump Street when Channing Tatum's doing the Jeff character, my name Jeff. My name Jeff. He's like, he doesn't want to talk at character. My name Jeff. I'm Jeff. He doesn't want to talk at all. Okay, well, I don't know.

I don't know if I could trust you guys. And I don't want to get in trouble because I don't want to be put in the jail cell. You know, that would be bad for me. And then if I'm trapped and I can't lay to help you guys, you know, so. Oh, but I thought we were friends. Can Tolv come down from the upper deck with elva

Sure, and can Gunther join sure and I just realized I didn't actually read their appearances to you so like I said meemers a dwarf and as a four-sided face mask with different expressions on them and is Snake hip does that mean hips describing someone with slender and mobile hips often used to suggest a lithe or graceful physique. Okay, okay. That's weird for a dwarf. Yeah. And then Bethesda is also she, her, an elf, and also wearing a face mask with different expressions on it.

And she has blood-red hair. Ooh. mask with different expressions on it. And she has blood red hair. Oh, could I also be able to tell if the masks that they have were anything like the one that Elva was wearing? These are a lot more crude. OK, so it's not the same type of mask. Yeah, this is not what it is. I'm just using this as an example. But like you think about like the drama and comedy masks,

where it's just like a very vague mask with an expression. It's a lot more like that where it's just like an expression as opposed to like impersonating. Rubber mission impossible kind of trickery mask. Correct. Gotcha. Okay. And then at this point, I guess we would have 12

and Gunther come down as well. And we assume that Doug caught us up with what has been said. Yeah, so hey guys, quick recap. This is Mimo, this is Bethesda. Bethesda has a beautiful voice, so I would highly recommend you talk to them a lot. Oh!

And they pulled this little prank, you know, and that's why they're in here. They're asking me to let them go, but I don't know, guys. So you guys want out for this ship, is that right? You want out of the jail? Oh yes, we would love to be out of jail. Okay.

I mean, if we lint you guys like a rowboat, like one of the lifeboats, do they have those on this ship? Yeah. Okay. Would that be sufficient? Would you guys be able to get home with that? Oh yes, that would be wonderful.

Okay. Yeah, the way you're talking, Doug, do we trust these fools? home with that? Oh yes, that would be wonderful. Okay. Yeah, the way you're talking, Doug, do we trust these fools? I mean, what are you thinking? What's the vibe? It's really hard to tell. I tried to maybe see if they were telling the truth, but I had empty, no thoughts kind of situation.

I'm not hearing a lot from Memur. I'm not hearing a lot from Bethesda. Bethesda, what's your story? Memur and I'm not hearing a lot from Bethesda. Bethesda, what's your story? Memur and I, we're the sisters and we play the pranks and we want to leave. Okay. Are you two plumbing sisters? Yeah, yeah.

Can you take your masks off so that we can see you? We could, but they're kind of our thing. Oh. Are you guys like part of, like, is this like a culture? This is something that your like tribe wears? I'll tell you what, you three make me wisdom checks. Toll of you have advantage on this one. Okay.

Gosh, I'm rolling real bad on wisdom at seven. Six, so that is a two, and then that is a, with my advantage is a two. And then that is a with my advantage. A fourteen. You remember that one of the pirate factions that you saw during the combat, like the cage fight kind of deal, were wearing masks. OK. And that was the. See if we can figure it out.

It was the Council of Conservation, the rabble. Oh, are you part of the troop troop? They both like spit. No, ugh, disgusting, no. Okay, don't spit on me, I am your admiral. Okay, are you part- Now they turn to the scion spit. We're part of the rabble.

Oh, the rabble, okay. After all, make mischief, am I right? You said you were part of the crew with the duels. If they were mean, why were you on their crew? If you say you were nice. They were easy targets for pranks. So like, what is the rabble's overall mission? I know you guys want to make mischief,

but you certainly have some sort of like, motto or like mission statement. I would like to hear this from Bethesda by the way. Make the mischief. Oh, do you have anything you could like elaborate more on that? You know, like what do you guys seek? What is your objective?

Our objective is to have the fun and to play the pranks and to have a good time. Do you mean us harm in any way? No. Do they seem like they're telling the truth? Make an insight check. Yeah, you guys wanna do a vibe check. I'm gonna throw on that for that as well.

Vibe check hat available on store.sneakydragonpod.com right now. Ooh, look at that, I love the plug. 10. I love that hat so much. I got a nine. It's corduroy, it's very nice. It's actually one of our better selling hats.

I was surprised. It's a fun thing to refer to inside Checksays. You all think that they're being honest. It seems like they just want to get out of here. Okay. You guys didn't roll very well, did you? No, we did not know. So Gunther and Doug,

what if we just let them set sail in a ship and then just make them promise not to, you know mess with us and play their pranks I don't really think people whose whole motto is to cause mischief are going to not cause mischief so Do we want them here with us? Well they're locked up I do not wish for them to be locked up we do not know their crimes We are not judge jury executioner. Gunther has a point, very passionate.

Love that passion, Gunther. I would say it would probably be better if we left them out to sea to go back to their people. There could be potential allies down the road if we run into the rabble once more. But also we probably don't want them on the island with us if we're trying to complete our mission. What a smart and wise leader you were all very lucky to have.

I think we should all listen to him. Lasgiel. Can I see if Lasgiel recognizes them? Was Lasgiel part of the rabble? No, but they were locked up with Ditz crew in the skull place. Correct. Lasgiel just pokes their head down to the lower deck.

No, but if they're anything like me, I say let them go. I don't know. I think let's I will remind from a meta game perspective, there's never a wrong decision. I'm going to say that we should probably just go ahead and let them go. Let them be on their way. You know, we have all been held prisoner at some point. I think that they want to leave.

Okay. We'll give them our own little rowboat and they'll just head on out. Yeah, Bethesda and Meemer, we are going to escort you up to the ship deck, give you a rowboat and send you on our way. And you must promise to not make mischief with us today and to give it a good word to the rabble

that we were here to help you. Does that sound okay? They both stick out their pinkies through the bars. Pinky promising. That means a lot actually, probably. It's sacred. That's good. Okay, I will return my pinkies.

Oh, you have cold hands. Yes, I am dead. This is a corpse that I am bearing. I'm actually a robot underneath. Bethesda kind of like cocks her head a little bit and looks at you weirdly. It is a warning. Do not mess with us or we will wear your skin. Aaaaaah! Alright, what do you want to do?

Yeah, yeah, I would say I would find the keys and then Tolv is going to release them and just like keep a good, they're smaller than Tolv, right? One's an Elf and one's a Halfling. Elf and Dwarf. Elf and Dwarf, okay. So since both of them are a little bit smaller, I'm gonna keep a good grip on them

in a friendly kind of way, but also in a I'm not gonna let them go out of my sight kind of way and then take them up to their boat. Okay, you look around the area, it's like that common trope. The keys for the cell are just like hanging on the wall out of reach from the cells themselves.

And so you're able to grab them and unlock the bridge. And Gunther will escort as well with his sword. And just because you guys have been so cooperative, I'm going to give you some rations to be on your way. That way you're not trapped at sea and get hungry. Ooh, yum, yum, yum. Oh, you're so generous. As a parting gift, is there anything you can say

about this ship that we may not know to help us? Or if anything, about the privateer, for we may encounter him again. Well, I will tell you that the door at the stern is the privateer's quarters, and the door at the stern is the privateer's quarters and the door at the bow is the crew's quarters. All right, so you lead them up to deck and put them into a, we'll call it a dinghy,

with some rations and send them on their way. And I want to launch the ship by smashing a thing of champagne and calling it the wingy dingy. That's your ship now. They and calling it the wingy dingy. That's your ship now. They begin rowing the wingy dingy back towards the shore. Okay. Until salutes them as they go. Bye bye.

Yeah, Jenter does too. Shall we go look at the privateers' private quarters? I'm going to hang out upstairs with Elva, but you guys knock yourselves out. Well, I was about to go take a little nap-ski, but knowing that the stern is the privateer's quarters, I feel maybe a little bit weird going in there. So maybe I should just go back to where the crew would sleep. You might sleep better with the privateer quarters. All right, so Doug, you're going to the door at the bow.

Gunther, are you going to the door at the stern? Yeah, I just want to check it, because the privateer is in charge of the sleep. Also, if are you going to the door at the stern? Yeah, I just want to check it, because the privateers, I can try to receive it also, like if there's anything that could help us, like maps or gear or anything. Sure. You walk over to the door at the stern and try to open it up, but you find that it is locked.

I guess, could I see if the keys that Tolte had work? Yeah, you try those keys, but none of them seem to open up this door. Guess I'll try pick it you have these tools I don't know if I do I have Smith's tools so I could just try that or just you don't try to break the door down okay and I'm gonna say no Smith tools are very different than these tools then yeah I guess I'll try that okay yeah how are you gonna try to break the door down Gunther's not strongest but I think using he would use more like leverage. So like you maybe using the Smith's tools, you know, they have like the things

that you hit them with. Maybe is that kind of like almost like a crowbar? What is that called? The thing you hit with? You can make me look it up. The blank and the anvil the What do they call a hammer a hammer you go? It's a hammer hammer Chris what do you?

Term for I thought there was a special term Motioning Yeah, it'll take a few minutes for you to break it down But yeah, you begin pounding on the door, trying to open it up. While you're doing that, I'm gonna cut over to Doug, because Doug went to the other door. You get to that door and try to open it, and this door is open. Oh, all right.

Everything's coming up, Doug. You swing the door open, and inside you see cruise quarters with 13 hammocks that are hanging. Could I do a quick just glance around the room, see if there's anything like any trunks or any like objects kind of out in the open? You look around and you see what appeared to be

like some personal effects left in some of the hammocks, not any trunks per se, but just like scattered about various personal effects that people that know sort of left in their own hammocks. Can I take a look at one of them? Yeah, roll me a D20. Nine. Yeah, you look around and you find a brass sextant. It's like a small one.

You think you could fit it in your pocket. Okay, I will do that. It's a cool little gadget. What's a sextant? It's like navigating, right? Looks like a little navigator thing. Yeah, it looks like a metal piece of pizza, but it is not pizza.

Do not eat it, okay? Yeah, I'm gonna pop that in my pocket. Yeah, you use it to like look at stars and stuff to help you navigate. Yeah, as you pick it up and put it in your pocket, you see that there's a symbol etched into the bottom. Could I take a closer look? Yeah, it appears to be a starry eye.

Could I see if this is similar to anything that I have on me, like for example, the spyglass of Zodia? No, it doesn't seem to be quite the same. Okay. Have I seen this symbol before? Make me a wisdom check. It's on an 18 and rolled over to seven.

But I'm going to use my inspiration die. Okay. Oh my god, a six. Oh no. Wait wait. When that happens. I'll just try to throw Captain Grumbles off again. Stop. That is not a gotch-a-pon game for how to get inspiration die. Infinity spawn cheat code. Yeah.

It's a code. Captain Grumbles will stop in the nose from shooting you anymore when you're about to die in our last combat. So I think a little gratitude would be in order. Despite the low roll, you do know at least that this symbol is associated with a deity of some kind. You just can't remember which one. Okay, I'm going to pocket it. So with it being a brass sextant with a starry eye,

one could argue it's a brass eye. So is it- We find Sergeant Steel Eyes like long lost family members. Wow, that took a few steps to get to. Lots of shucks. That was a comedy podcast though, you know. The more explanation you have to do, the funnier it is. That's right. I love a good lead up. I had you know. The more explanation you have to do, the funnier it is. That's right.

I love a good lead up. I had you going. Oh, well, I think, you know, these hammocks look mighty comfortable. I think I might just take a little lie down in one of these. Could Doug find the biggest one and take a little tip? Yeah. Roll me a D20, Doug. This one is too hot.

This one's too cold. Four. You find the biggest one and put your furry head on the pillow and yeah, it's really comfy. Something about the swaying of the boat just kind of gently rocks you and you can hear the waves lapping up against the side of the ship. It's very comfy.

I'm starting to rethink my retirement plan. I just want to live on a boat. Can Natty join into those quarters as well? I think that at this point, Natty would wander in and find a little hammock and curl up with Gigi. Maybe, maybe just plink a little bit of a, like a shanty lullaby, is that a thing?

Ooh, yeah, you can invent it. Yeah, if you walk down below deck and you see Gunther smashing at a door stern with a hammer And at the bow you see an open door and you can hear Doug's talking some logs. Okay, I would find one of the hammocks be close to Doug You need to be far away from him and curl up with geeky and the hammock together. All right Yeah, once you roll me a d20 as well, daddy?

Two. Okay, yeah. You know, you find a hammock and lay down and Gigi curls up, but you just can't get comfortable. There's something in the pillow. What's in the pillow, Gus? What's in the pillow? You reach around and stick your hand in the pillow and you pull out a key.

Oh. What's the key look like? your hand in the pillow and pull out a key. Oh, it looks like a pretty mundane key with a very large head like a very large handle that you would grab on to. Can I just chuck it towards Gunther? Yeah, I say hey Gunther heads up and I throw it at him. Gunther you turn around just in time to see something sparkling flying at you. Is Natty trying to kill you? Uh. Get.

Uh. Gunther tries to grab it. All right, make a dexterity check. 14? Yeah, you kind of fumble with it a little bit, but because it's got that large head on it, you're able to catch it and grab onto it. Oh, thank you.

This will help with the leverage of breaking down the door. And then Gunther goes to use it to push the door open, and then it's like double takes, and then realizes it's a key, and then tries it in the door. Yeah, I was hoping you were going to start smashing the door with it. Chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug.

It is gum gum. Maybe, yeah. The key fits perfectly in the door, and turns and clicks and unlocks it. Gunther enters. Also from down the hall you hear. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr What you would hear is like a dual motor kind of thing of Doug and Gigi boats fighting to see who can make the most disgusting respiratory noises. Gunther, you open the door and inside you see a, what you assume is the privateer's quarters, and in it is a four poster bed with red velvet curtains.

And additionally, you see a few chests around the room, one large chest and three small chests. Can I check for traps on the chest? Which one? The big one or one of the small ones? How about the big one? Okay, roaming and investigation check. That's a four.

No traps. All right, cool. Gunther goes to try the big chest with the key. He has all the keys at this point, right? Cause he has the ones. Yeah. You tried the same big key that opened up the door and it fits and it opens. It unlocks this large chest. What's the side?

You're not supposed to use your password for two different places. I know. To use your key for two different things. Yeah. That's security 101. You open it up and inside you see a big pile of gold pieces. Oh my goodness. Booty! Yeah, metagame-wise it's a thousand gold pieces. Okay. Wow. Gunther shuts it, locks it again,

with the plan to tell the crew later, when Last Gale's not around. Okay. Yeah, yeah. Cutting out your party. I see how it is. And then, can you check the other chests? Yeah. You walk up to one of the small chests, and it is also locked.

You need to try all the keys and see if... Yeah, the same big key opens it up as well. You pop it open and inside you see a crescent-shaped crystalline decanter and it's adorned with golden filigree and filled with some kind of water that seems to be like slowly moving. A decanter is like a thing that's a pouring thing, like a pot type thing. Yeah, sure.

And does the liquid inside look like normal liquid or magical in nature? Do I get any sense from it? The fact that it's moving in an unusual manner makes you think that there's something special about this. Chug, chug, chug, chug. What, can I see what happens if I try and pour a little of the water of the stuff out into the chest?

Yeah, you uncork it and pour like a tiny little bit out. But it appears like a gallon of water rushes out and spills onto the floor. Oh, yeah. Then I cork it back up. OK, you cork it back up. Does it look like it's still got the same amount of stuff in the decanter? It seems more or less like the same amount. Forever water. Can I taste it and see if it's salt or regular water?

Yeah, you take a little sip of it and it appears to be fresh water. Ooh, that'd be great for your village. Then I don't want to open up all the chests, but just me. Should I just, does anyone else want to come? Before anyone asks you that, like, what do you do with this? Did you say you keep this?

Do you put it back in the chest? I'll keep this for now, carefully. Yeah, this would be very valuable to Gunther. I think at this point we're all taking long rests. So like maybe to kind of progress stuff. Like if we all went sleepy times. I'll leave the other chest for later and go back to sleep. And you said you were going to sleep here

in the privateer's quarters, right? Underneath it. Bold move. Underneath it, that's right. Okay, you go ahead and begin taking your sleepy time as well. So everyone at this point would be taking a long rest, right? Yeah. You all begin your long rest, if I recall properly. Gunther under the private tears bed here in the private tears quarters. Doug and Maddy in the crew quarters and Tolf

up top at the helm in like sentry mode, correct? Yes, and I'm with Elva. You and Elva pretty much are the only ones left on the deck and you're both in power down mode but you both see and sense like a storm slowly start building. And first it's a little bit of wind, a little bit of rain, the clouds seem to thicken and grow. And before too long, the waves start growing in intensity, lightning begins flashing and illuminating the sky and thunder rumbling everywhere.

And a very strong thunderstorm begins rocking the ship to and fro. Does this wake us? Yeah, I guess even if you're below deck, yeah, it would be like you're not being gently swayed back and forth, but it's a lot more severe to and fro. I feel like because there's this moment of being on a ship

and being in the presence of Elva, Polv would feel comfortable taking off parts of his disguise, right? So he would want to remove his mask so that he can like feel the wind and the sea and the rain on his like real Fomitec face. Sure. But yeah, I mean, I think this is like an old thing. and the rain on his like real Thaumatech face. Sure. But yeah, I mean, I think this is like an old thing.

This isn't something that he's unfamiliar with. So him and Elva would, you know, kick into gear and make sure that they're steering the ship accordingly, trying to avoid, you know, high tides and waves and things like that. And he's positioning the sails and the way that's best navigates them through these waves. Batten down the hatches, that kind of thing? Yeah, all the ship terms that we all know, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Make me a, let's call it a constitution check

with advantage, told. Okay. 16. You're able to use your strength and coordinate with Elva successfully and pull all the ropes and sail into the waves and secure the ship. I think the rest of your crew would be very nervous if you had not stepped up.

It's a scary situation, but seeing you be so confident and working with Elva hand in hand makes everyone a little calmer, makes everyone a little more at ease. And as you feel the rain and the wind blowing on your Thaumatech skin, you hear Elva call out. Sail home! And she's pointing. So then I would run downstairs and with my real face, and I'd say, oh, hello everybody,

not to wake you all from your slumber, your sleepy sleepies. But we have some visitors up ahead. Does anybody have any sort of, I don't know, magnifying tools, things that we can see them better with? Uh, I mean, I have a spyglass, but I don't know if it magnifies. Isn't that what a spyglass does? So this one's special though.

Oh, OK. Aren't you thinking of like a isn't this like that little is this fine glass? Spyglass does the same thing. It is. OK. I'll come upstairs and look

through my spyglass. OK, come with me. Doug is on the case. Told correct. That's me. Why do you ask? You know, you're looking... good, buddy!

I can't not smile because it's just like a skeleton. Skellington almost. Thank you so much, Doug! It feels so good to have my old face back and out. Oh, I bet. Do you guys like it? Daddy, what do you think? Gunther?

We have this amusement park back where I come from. And you look like a pirate on one of them ships that we used to ride that they used to sing little songs as you rode around a little rap. What a compliment. Yo ho ho.

Uh, uh, uh, sweet baby. Uh, Gigi, come to uncle. Hey, let me see. I got a role to see how he's going to react to that. Ten is a bad is a negative. So Gigi shrieks a little bit and backs up and like kind of coils up like an angry cat. Don't there steps forward and like vows coils up like a cat don't their steps forward and like bouncing at Google you look admirable oh what does giggy sound like exactly

hold on okay I want giggy now that I've made the noise giggy doesn't just back up giggy does full like Bramstoker Dracula up in the ceiling In the corner like back like Ben Affleck in Batman be Superman This is good. You've solved the giggy problem Can we tie this into town of mr. Ripley somehow. Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!

Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!

Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!

Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Yes. Yeah. Except for Gigi, apparently. Nattie will do a little shushing him down and take him up with him. She wants him to get the full experience of everything. Okay. You all head back up above deck, and amidst the gray misty gales and billowy breakers, you see new sails that have suddenly appeared on the hazy horizon. Though the ship is leagues away from you, the cut of its jib brings feelings of warmth and welcome inside.

Even stranger is the enchanting music being carried on the whistling wind. The rhythmic stomping and shouting accompanied by a stringed instrument. Sounds like a lute? What do you all do to prepare? I mean, could I see anything with my spyglass? You take a look and it's difficult to train on. It's that thing where there's so many waves because of the storm and it's at such a distance, it's hard to keep it steady. Yeah, you're kind of rocking around and it's hard to really get it

to focus on this particular small spot. Nattie hears the music and feels like a jam session is coming and starts tuning her auto heart. Ooh, this makes sureistan is not an illusion. Y'all are really nervous. Last time I looked at it was a dollar ship and this is a big ship. I've just been watching you guys around the ship. Y'all are very cautious and nervous.

Some of us almost died a few moments ago on this very ship. Matty did too. You know what Toll would do in this situation? He would find a piece of cloth, perhaps maybe down in the quarters and then he would make some peaceful flag.

Some sort of symbol. Well that's kind of like, we give up maybe just like... Swap out the pirate eye one. Yeah, I swap out the flag for a happy face and just let them know. We are very friendly and we want to jam. Am I right? Yeah. You begin trying to swap out the flag on your ship.

I'm getting jokes from the peanut gallery here. Ben says a flag that really says, you who my name is told. Yeah. And like, says a flag that says we cool? You begin swapping the flag out and as you're doing so the shanty singing ship rapidly sails straight towards you all much faster than it should be able to. Faster and faster it cuts through the storm of surging soils like a knife through melted butter and before you know it the vessel reveals the broadside of its hull salty unforgiving waves splashed across its faded lettering the jeopardy i'm gonna go ahead and make a reality check oh my gosh oh i was about to say something about a loot and i was just like is that fart what's reality i'm glad you asked in a really weird way.

Reality check is you roll a d20 and add all of your ability score modifiers. So as your strength modifier, dexterity modifier, constitution, intelligence, wisdom and charisma. 31. 28. Mine is a 19 total. 21.

You all have been good at these. Not so much anymore. I'm not rolling real bad this session. I rolled a 13. Oh, lucky. Sorry, John got a like a 30 something, so we're 31 and 28 for me. And just as the ship is about to crash into you,

it fades into the wind as if it never existed. Natty, you know that whatever it was you just saw, that wasn't from this world. It's not right. It doesn't belong here. However, the rest of you, it kind of breaks your brain a little bit. It doesn't make sense that that ship appeared, moved so quickly, and then, you know, just as about a broadside you had disappeared and told it makes you kind of rethink your decisions for metagame wise the rest of this session. You've decided to turn over a new leaf for a little while and you now hate violence.

You don't want to do anything violent. You have a new perspective on life for now. Wow, Doug, something about that sea shanty and something about the loot playing just like unlocked a primal fear in you and you don't want to hear music anymore. Music is the most terrifying thing in the world. Oh gosh. And Gunther, seeing that ship come up like that made you think you were going to get into a fight of some kind and there would be bloodshed and that just kind of turns your

stomach. You hate the sight of blood. It's scary to you. That was very upsetting. Yeah these are like temporary status effects for the rest of this session. Can we talk about that for a second what just happened? Should we unpack what we just went through? You guys been noticing any sort of weird situations like that? I had something like that happen when we were on trial back at the camp whatever we came from. Camp, I get it, Camp Andrews Bay or Fort Andrews Bay? There it is. I got it. Fort Andrews. I had something like that

happen at the, it wasn't a pulpit, but whatever, that thing inside of the judge's place where you stood and testified. Something like that kind of appeared and it was there for a second and then it was gone. Yeah, I've had some moments like that too. Something felt, I don't know, like familial in a way, but also like I didn't quite know what it was.

You think there's something we can do to like, I don't know, I'm just drawing, I'm pulling at strings here. Just like, can we like maybe focus or something together? Have a little like seance or, I don't know. I honestly, I'm just like, it's weirding me out. I'm tired of this stuff happening. I like things being straight and direct. And this this whole frilly things appear and disappear is confusing me

bothered Natty so much she is deciding to go straight straight like Natty at all I'm extra more confused now I would slap you out of it but I do not like violence what my god you said that in a melodic way very good very good that was very good oh that was weird Elva have you been experiencing anything like this like just paradigm shifting weirdness that makes you want to poop your pants even though we do not poop because we are robots? No, I have not. Captain Grumbles, what is your take on this?

F***! Actually, no, you know what? I thought about it for a second there. And maybe there's something we haven't tried before. What's that? Now, I know I've talked about my deity, she's Mabu. And aren't we looking for your deity? The Sea-Drinker? Yeah, the Sea-Drinker, also aka Nyorda.

Also Elva, that's new information, I don't know if you know that, but her real name is Nyorda. Oh, I did not know that! Yeah, big surprise. My lady friend, she shows up when she wants, and so I can't, I don't really find it easy to call upon her because she's very busy. I don't know if you guys know this,

a lot of people die every day. It really keeps her busy. Really? So, Doug or Gunther, is there any sort of like connection you have with any sort of God that we could maybe like ask for guidance or something? I will ask my God for guidance, but it's thus so much guidance, but protection from the outside world.

I'm not quite sure if I understood that as an answer to my question. So I'll just move to Doug. I think he's called just the God of never nude. It's the God of clothing. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know Doug is there maybe someone you could like call upon to maybe answers. I don't they might not answer You know, like I said, they're fickle creatures these gods, but I'm just I'm trying to figure this out

We just had a ship almost come and hit us and then disappear No, I know How's going on here? And I don't know if like you do you think that was like a sign sent by the Sea Drinker to kind of like push us in the right direction? Just hold no if the Sea Drinker has such power. Make a religion check. That's the thing, right? Yeah, make a religion check.

Okay. Not 20. Wow. You know that the Sea Drinker's abilities include things like controlling the sea and controlling water and summoning water creatures, but this doesn't really fall under any of those umbrellas, you know? Okay.

Yeah, it's like adjacent, but not really. Yeah, I do not think that this is the Sea Drinker's doing. They're more like water-based crime things, you know? I mean, not crime, but you know, water things. Okay. Well, I mean, all of this is such a great mystery and Doug very much respects the deity who is said to be the keeper of the mysteries. Deveiled I.

Well hot dang, ask that mystery dude what we can do about this. I just, it's such an open-ended question, you know, like. Well, I mean, I find, yes, you are correct, Doug. But maybe this is something where if you could take a moment and maybe just try to call upon that mystery person for guidance, they might guide you towards answers to the mystery, I'm not quite sure. Okay, well, I've never done this

in front of other people before, so. Do you want to be alone? Yeah, if you guys maybe just wanna like turn around or something. Okay, we turn around. Captain Grumbles does not, he's staring daggers at you. Just. Just dead eyes staring at you.

And then Doug closes his eyes and very quietly reaches out to the Veiled Eye. Veiled Eye, is Doug Boone here again? You know, I know I've asked you a lot of questions in my time of need and me and my friends were just wondering like what's the next move? Where do we go from here? We see this ship, we have these feelings and we all of a sudden are scared of these things and I just, I don't really, we don't really know what to do and I could really use your

guidance right now. As you close your eyes and begin trying to look for this direction, a thought pops into your head. The symbol on the sextant is the same symbol as that of this deity. Of my deity? Yeah. How could I not have seen it? No pun intended. And you hear a voice in your head. For such knowledge, what do you have to offer me?

What invention? What creation, Doug? What if I were to, you know, help out one of my teammates, make their armor even stronger and protect them more, you know? Something new or something that they already have. Such craftsmanship would bring honor to me, Douglas Boone. In all my eons of eternal existence, these visions are something from beyond even my doing. This is the work of someone, something from beyond this realm. Okay, guys, you can turn around now.

Hello. OK. And then I think I would relay that information to them. Told says turn around every now and then. I get a little bit lonely. I was talking to that. Then I never come around. No, I'm talking. Oh, right. Yeah.

Just he just heard. He just starts screaming. He wants to be polite, but he's blocking his ears and just sweating. Do you have direction? Well, it's just... I basically was told this is not really something from around here, and it's kind of beyond our realm. But I think I do want to give back to my great deity and also give back to one of you so um Guntho do you think I could borrow your armor for just a little bit? My armor?

Yes of course though I also was hoping you could help with my sword. Oh a little two in one! Yeah beggars can't be trusers but whatever you know. You know what Guntho anything for you, bud. Where do you Smith? I think I probably have to go back below deck, because it's a little windy up here. Yeah, can we go back down deck? Yeah, of course. You all proceed below deck.

And so then I take Gunther's sword and his armor from him. Yeah, and as I hand you Gunther's sword, it it's like this sword it is my father's sword. I received it when he was killed and for you see he was not a swordsman he was a farmer but it has been passed down for many times many many times. We are not fighters in my village But we once were. Our village was attacked and everyone was killed and something very precious to us was taken I will find him and I will kill him and return what was taken to my village And I asked if you can help me make my father's blade stronger. Yes Thank you for the context.

It's very helpful. Backstory, wow. This material was found with one of my people in the tunnels, the fragment of frostblad. I believe it can help strengthen my father's blade. Ooh, that was a long time ago. And I had that as a material in which to temper with. Okay, so I'd infuse them together kind of thing.

Is it possible to do that and also to use another slot of my infuse item, which does take some time, but I want to enhance defense on Gunther's armor. Okay. So that would be the creature gains a plus one bonus to armor class while wearing their armor or wielding a shield of the infused item. Nice. So I think, yeah, as you're wearing your armor, Gunther, you would just get a plus one to your AC.

How long does that last? Is that permanent? It's permanent until... Wow. I have two slots, so basically if I do something to another item, I think Toll would lose his hammer infusion that I gave him a few a few episodes ago. I see. All right. So yeah, you're infusing that so okay cool This sounds like you got your work cut out for you Doug. I'll be hot. It will kill. I hope you're watching Updale, you know who you are Looks in the air

Gather what's to help out as best he, however he can because he has help with, he's proficient with smithing. Yeah. What about Maddie? I know you had mentioned something about a downtime thing earlier. Yeah. So I don't mean to interrupt what Doug, you and Gunther

be doing, but I actually do have a request for each of you. Like I said, when we were back at the, uh, I'm gonna remember the name of this building that was on the water that we left to get on the ship. It was called a ro-ro-robo-robo. Robo? Robro? Yeah, I was there. I was trying to get Laskill. Roarby. Thank you, Micah. I was trying to get Lask skill to teach Gigi a lesson, but I think we got interrupted because we teleported to a big old fight we weren't expecting. And so I feel like Gigi is behind on his lessons. He needs to be, he needs to get further towards

his, his task of being the harbinger of doom and bringer of the apocalypse. It's a very important job and I don't wanna be a bad mom. So I've decided that for right now, since we're on the boat, it'd be a good time for each of you maybe to assist with a lesson if you guys are down with it. I feel like there's something maybe each of you

could impart on my Mr. Gigglesworth sometime today. Yeah, maybe we start with Tollv and then once Doug and Gunther are wrapped up, they can join in. Yeah, Tollv you down for being a teacher for a minute. Cole's head turns 360 degrees with a big metal smile. He says that sounds great. I love my Okay I've been thinking about

things that are important for a little doombringer to have and things that are important for a little doombringer to have. And Gigi right now in his current age and state, he's quite small, but you can tell he really likes to use his energy. He's kind of like them little dogs don't know that they're as small as they are. And I want to make sure that keeps going. So is there a way that you might be able to teach Gigi?

Cause you're so good at using your emotions to your advantage, to bring you're so good at using your emotions to your advantage, to bring you power or defend yourself. Is there maybe like a lesson you could teach Gigi on how to do that as well? It could be something either like an emotional drill or something you do to use that rage to turn into strength or maybe a story you could tell him or like a workout routine or something he could do. Is there something like that you could help with? Wow, I full disclosure thought you were going to ask me

to teach him like rope tying or like how to sail a boat. But yeah, no, I can't. Rage, you wanna talk about rage? That's gonna be fun. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I plop Gigi down in front of him, just, and just go, all right, Professor Tov. Just a reminder, Professor,

before you start your lesson plan, the professor currently hates violence. Yeah, so. Yeah, I think this is a perfect time for this. Curious to hear how this lesson goes. Well, hello, Mr. Gigi. I'm gonna be doing attendance for class. Let's go through roll call. Let me Mr. Gigi. I'm going to be doing attendance for class. Let's go through roll call.

Let me see. Gigi. Great. OK. Now that that's wrapped up. So, yeah, sometimes I would draw on really sad, but, you know, memories that will make me get into a certain emotional state, you know, that gets me all riled up, gets my blood pumping, you know? But I do it in a way that, like, I take control of those emotions, you know? I, I, I, like, use those to power me, okay? So, you know, Gigi, what I want you to do

is think of a time where you know, perhaps Your mom was like in danger and you felt like you know, something was going to happen to her Can you do that for me Gigi? I'll see if Gigi does that 16 Gigi thinks about that. Okay now before you get out of hand and start, you know getting like all clawy bitey bitey Embrace that emotion, You know, focus around it. Tense up all of your muscles. Think very hard about it. And then, you know, use that to,

to like take that cool ax of yours. And then, I don't know. Do we have any like barrels around here that he could just quack? Sure, yeah. Get some of that rage out. Yeah, let that rage out. direct it, pinpoint it precisely. Instead of having it just explodey, explodey

in every direction, pinpoint it exactly on that barrel right there. Okay, the mechanics of this are thusly for me to determine the success of your lesson. Gigi has to make a wisdom check. In the description, it determines an easy, a medium, or hard lesson. Gigi has to make a wisdom check. In the description, it determines an easy, a medium or hard lesson. I'm going to ask the DM, what would you deem this? In my opinion, this is an easy lesson.

All right. So it's a DC 10 check. Gigi's wisdom modifier, that is a zero. So all right, 10 or higher to see if Gigi learns his lesson. Come on, Gigi, you can do it. That's a 14 That's my boy. That's a good lesson. All right, so gigi's gonna attack the barrel. Let's just see how that hand Let's just see how that works out. Yeah. Yeah, go ahead. Okay. I'm gonna roll for an attack That's a nat 20

That 20 swings the axe Leaves it into as a happy baby. The pieces would fly off into the ocean team rocket style Micah wrote use the Norse Luke That's good, it's really good and so that he gets temporary HP Equal to his proficiency for that one, which we don't need to worry about the details of that right now. Okay. I'm gonna ask the DM a request. According to this mechanic,

I'm only allowed to do this once per short rest. I haven't done this yet. Could you like bend the rules and let me do it maybe a couple more times and just see what happens? Yeah, let's do it. Let's have fun. Okay. We're here to have fun.

That's what I figured. I've been wanting to do this, but it's been like episodes and episodes to find some time. All right I'm gonna roll see what giggy does after cleaving that thing. He I rolled a 17 he goes and gives a toll of a huge hug Oh, I love it. I hug him back. I Clip a lock of Bjorn's hair off of my Bjorn mask and wig combo thing Tie it into a little knot and it's like, this is your rage badge. Here you go. You've earned it.

Imagine the size difference right now between Tol and Gigi. It's like because Tol is huge, right? Yeah. And Gigi's probably just like, like a tiny squeaky thing. It's like hugging a Tol's face. Yeah. Natty would come up and affix that little knot to Gigi's little harness that he uses. So he has that on his harness now.

You've learned to control your emotions and to instead of letting them control you, I am so proud of you little Gigi. I believe Gigi's proficiency modifier should be plus two by the way. Thank you very much. Or proficiency bonus I should say. Okay.

All right. Can I do another lesson? Is that okay with the group? Before you get to that lesson, we'll say Doug and. All right. Can I do another lesson? Is that okay with the group? Before you get to that lesson, we'll say Doug and Gunther have wrapped up what they were doing. I don't know if there's anything you want to do to resolve that between you two before Natty shows up to do this.

I think like once it's all done, I imagine Gunther's been there with him the whole time. So, okay Gunther, try it on. See if it fits. It does fit. You look even more handsome than before. Oh, that is so nice to say, but I am married. I gotta say also, this armor also really brings out your eye color.

Thank you very much, Doug. Oh, and also before I get too far away from it, I wanna make sure Gunther adds a plus one to his AC. Thank you, smart. Oh yeah, here's your sword. Gunther pick it up and then like try it out and like wave it around. Yeah. Is there something nearby that you could like stab?

Is there anything I can stab? You say like supplies down there, you say like there's like a sack of beans or whatever. Yeah, I'll stab a sack of beans. You stabbed the sack of beans and it seems like as it hits, as it impacts a layer of ice begins spreading across the entire bag

and then manifesting onto the floor and the wall as well. Wow. This infused with ice. Doug, you have done great honor to my father. It's an honor. And I promise, if anything I can do to repay you, I will. You got it, Gun you, I will. You got it Gunther. I will, I will make note of that.

Wait, sorry. Doug has told Gunther what happened with his family. Kind of, I haven't gone into detail quite yet. Losing family and my village is the second hardest thing I have had in my life and Doug I know that you have had loss with your family and as you have helped me bring hopefully me closer to my family now I hope to do the same to you in one way or the other. Thank you Konto, that means a lot and I'm sorry that you've had to... had so much loss in your life. It never really leaves you, you know?

I've had loss, but I have more to live for, so that's why I must hurry and... and accomplish what I need to so I can see them again. Whatever helps you. I'll be there for you, buddy. Gunther hugs. Maybe, maybe let me use that sword once or twice just for fun. Yeah. You know, if my drink's too hot or something like that.

Also, Gunther's like, oh, there's a treasure in there. I guess at that point, that would be when Natty walks in with Gigi. Yeah, Natty would see your brand new fandangled blade and be like, this is perfect timing because I have another lesson that I thought Gunther you would be Perfect for bestowing the wisdom of. Gigi I know he's gonna need to use all the tools available to achieve his greater goal and it's not gonna just be reliant upon his own like Animosity and his claws and his teeth He's already like starting to learn how tools can be something that's helpful and you're such an accomplished fighter using weapons available with you i was hoping maybe you give

a little lesson on that with giggy maybe help him use that axe that he found better or anything else he finds along his way to his advantage yes little one i am also little so i understand that people sometimes think you are small but you can still do big things. But the most important thing of fighting is not to kill or to do damage, but to protect those that you want to not be killed. So with your sword, do not always go to attack, but go to protect. Like show more like defensive moves

and like less straight up attacking, but more like how to block and protect and parry and things like that. Sure. We roll. Roll to four. I rolled a four. I rolled a four.

I'm not sure I'm double checking the math, but I think that's a failure. That is a failure. I have told you little one. Failure. I'll read you the thing. Cause Gus, you might get to help here. Gigi either forgets the lesson, misinterprets it in an amusing way,

or something chaotic happens. Gus, do you have an idea of what Gigi does? You know, you're trying to teach Gigi this lesson. But as you're talking, his attention slowly begins to ease. He does that thing where he stops looking at you, and he slowly starts turning. And he's looking at the bag of frozen beans, and he begins just popping them like candy.

He's like hand pulls the frozen beans into his mouth one after another. He's just like chomping down non-stop on frozen beans. Mattie just looks at this and goes, isn't he just perfect? He's just so smart. Look at him. He does that thing where it begins accelerating and instead of like his head gets closer and closer to the beans and eventually just devolves to where he's not grabbing beans And putting him in his mouth, but his whole head is in the bag And he's just like chomping down on frozen beans. It is also important to stay well fed when fighting

You need calories to burn to fight When you said that Gus I was imagining have you ever seen dogs do this but cats do this where they just Almost unhinge their mouth and just like pull in like that Yeah, you just just in yeah. All right. Well, you know that didn't go the way we thought but I feel like he learned something I think there's a silver lining everywhere. I think the silver lining is we can now sell frozen bean sacks at store. Stinky I think the silver lining is we can now sell frozen bean sacks at store.stinkydryapod.com Available now! Alright, and I turn to Doug. Doug?

Yes? I got one more ask. What can I do for you, Nattie? I'm in a helping mood today. Oh good, I feel like you're doing so good. Let's get the keep the ball rolling. So, as Gigi gets to the point where he ends all things, I think it's important that he knows about what he's ending.

Because with that comes an understanding of what you're bringing to a close so that you're making room for something else coming about. Okay? And I feel like that's important. So, is there maybe a history lesson or some sort of knowledge that you can bestow upon Gigi that's unique to you because I feel like he should take from people what they have to give.

Okay. So is there any sort of like lesson like that either from your life or your schooling or your tribe particularly that Gigi can use to kind of grow his knowledge? Absolutely. Like I said, his wisdom modifier is plus zero. Absolutely. So I was thinking, you know, at first I was going to go a little more complicated and say like, Oh, maybe I could just teach him how to weed because he probably doesn't

know how to weed yet. You know, right. Oh, I think that might take a little time. Because you want to be a gardener in your retirement. Weed with our text and stuff. But instead, you know, I think there was something that I could teach him. Oh, good. Righty tighty, lefty loosey. Oh, this thing comes in handy more often than you know. Is that like a chant from your village? Yeah. Well, no, it's my own.

It's my own chant that I do for myself whenever I forget, you know, it's righty to tighten something lefty to loose something. So if he's ever like screwing in something or trying to fix something, it might come in handy one day. Yeah. Could you pair that with another lesson? Could you teach him right and left as well? Yes, absolutely. Does he have fingers?

I haven't actually looked at Gigi's hands. I don't know if they're too little like kind of stubborn or. Just a normal thing you ask a parent of their child. Does he have fingles? Does he have fingies? Fingies, does he have fingies? He does, he does. Does your child have?

He's got grubby little fingers. Gus, is that easy, medium, or hard? This one I would say is medium because I feel like it's two concepts. Left and right, and then lefty loosey righty tighty All right. Let me roll to see how giggy takes that. That's a 17. Wow, that's good. And with a medium lesson He gains. Oh, yeah, there's more some more HP stuff gains an additional hit die to HP. Oh, wow Yeah, so giggy like kind of does the little like that dog thing He does everyone sort of the head tilts one way he'll tits the other way

He's kind of thinking about student and then he goes right in a circle and he goes left in a circle And he looks at his hands and he realizes there's a direction each of those hands is and he's like he puts his hands up To you and he's delighted and he wants you to join him in his in his joy Doug grabs Gigi's hands and spins in a circle and goes, okay, which way we going now, Gigi? Yes! I like to think that since Doug's hands are so furry and Gigi's hands are so sticky, that it's difficult to detach yourself when you're done holding hands with Gigi.

Yeah, the hair just kind of like he gets little hairs all over his sticky hands. Yeah. And then when Doug finishes spinning and puts Gigi down, he vomits up all those frozen beans. Oh, perfect. They're defrosted now. They're gonna come out one way or another. I'm sure that'll wake your mom up in the middle of the night. Dinner's ready.

Yeah. Okay, thank you so much. I appreciate y'all joining me for the middle of the night. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just.

Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just.

Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just.

Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just.

Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just.

Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just.

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Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just.

Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just.

Just. Just. Just. Just Right, Tov? Yeah, but it was like, you know, instead of mathematics and science, it was like killing and stabbing, but you know, I get the, yeah, yeah, yeah, sure. Yeah, at this point, Tov would be back with Elva. Okay, yeah. But yeah, like, I mean, we've,

I've been sticking close to Elva this entire time, but it's funny though, because Tov and Elva did want to speak to Doug, if that's okay, if we could pull Doug to the side. Yeah, I mean, that's up to Doug, I guess. Everyone wants a little bit of Doug today. That's right. Well, it's funny that earlier you said you were like in a helping mood

and you want to help everyone. And I feel like, yeah, you've been involved in every journey so far. I think he's also coming out of his shell more and more. That's nice. I like that. So Doug, do you have a second to talk to me and Elva? Of course! Elva, pleasure to officially meet you. You look just like your brother.

Oh, thank you. We are cut off the same cloth, if you will. Metal. I forgot for a second I was Elva. I was like, when's Elva gonna reply? It's like, oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, that's me. Yeah, yeah. A little read receipt from Elva. Yep.

So I have been telling Elva about our adventures and just been catching up with her journeys and reminiscing about our brothers and sisters and in the process of telling them a story, I realized that you have little Gambot. Can you bring out Gambot? Can you summon him? It would be my honor. And Doug conjures up his little gambot, who then waddles out. This is not, you know, Elvyn, I wanting to confront you, but with us having been machines in service of somebody, we just want to make sure that, you know, you take good care of Gambot and by all accounts it seems like every time I have interacted with Gambot he seems so happy.

He seems like he trusts you and first of all I just wanted to thank you for not being cruel to him because we had a lot of cruelty in our time with Ironclad. I'm really sorry to hear that. Yeah and you know we always we want to be here for you and for Gambot. So if you ever have any questions or if you ever need anything from us, we're here because we don't feel like people treat machines very well. Well, you know, I made Gambot, you know, a long time ago, and not only do I feel kind of like his papa, because I made him, but, you know, he's always been very dedicated to helping me and just, you know, I know he

seems happy and maybe that's in part to the fact that I built him with a smile on his face. Yeah, yeah, that's there, yeah. Well, you know, he's a, you know, he's still a soul. And so I'm glad that you think that I tweet him like, because I really do try. Well, we were both commenting on just the fact that he seems so well maintained and you take care of like polishing him and like buffing out dents and doing maintenance and everything is done with great care.

So I just wanted to thank you. That it's very healing for Elva and I to see such care taken for a machine. Well, that's very touching. Thank you, Tov. If you guys ever need a tune upup, you know, I've been... I've got all my tools with me, so if you guys ever need anything... Well, I guess that is, you know, my next thing, is once we find a suitable replacement for Elva's leg,

we would love for you to help bring her back to working order. I could definitely figure that one out. You got it. Well, that's it. I'm just gonna hang out with Velva and catch up. You can go away now. Okay, I'll leave you and your sister to some bonding time. Can we hang out with Gambot though? He's just so silly and so fun and cute. Doug looks over to Gambot and he does a little and like up and down. Yeah, just just send him back over when you're done. Okay, will do. That's all I want to do. Playing fetch with him like a dog. You know, brother, talking about this technology

and a suitable time and place to perform maintenance on us, I have heard a rumor while looking for the sea drinker that could perhaps be of help to us. Oh yeah? My ears are opened. Even though I do not have ears, they're more like, you know, audio receptors, but they are tuned in and listening. Well, my audio transmitters are about to engage, so let us meet.

Legends tell of an island that has advanced technology that have been lost to time that could perhaps help us. Interesting. That sounds so cool. What, I mean, do you think any of our brothers and sisters have perhaps found this place? Maybe. Maybe the sea drinker can let us know if that is the case or not. Gambot, what are your thoughts on that? Yeah, count me in, Gambot, and we need to find this eternal whirlpool.

Those are all his little like spring-loaded balances and stuff like that. And can this whirlpool clean delicates as well as like blankets and towels? Get out of here. Doug and Tollv. I want both of you to make me wisdom checks. Both of you with advantage. Okay. Oh man, with advantage I got an 11. My wisdom's pretty good. I've just been rolling wisdom badly today. 18.

I think it's funny that Toll's wisdom is the same as Giggys really funny to me Toll having this conversation here about repairing and about you know trying to fix Elvis leg it reminds you of something you all have a metallic leg that's what I thought did we take that from that cave yeah we did. Yeah, you all kept it. I forget who has it. It's Tov. I think Tov has it. Okay. I just didn't want to step on the moment. Do we mind if we rewind a little bit to that thing to that moment? Or you just pretend like you're like, oh wait, look at this. You can like pick it up like talk about like, oh, maybe you know, yeah, yeah, go ahead pick it up however you like.

You know now that we've discussed Gambots, you know, Doug, I was thinking, you are so good with machines, clearly. Look at happy little Gambots. Beep boop, beep boop. We have this Thaumatech leg from those caves. I don't know if you recall, but you know, would you be able to put this on Elva?

Absolutely. I almost forgot we had that. Me too! Almost. I guess we'll do it right here. You don't need any privacy for this, do you, Elva? Oh no, it's okay. Snap that baby on. Doug grabs the leg from Toll. I've seen Elva would like, sit down. Yeah.

Doug takes out one of his little magnifying glasses to make sure he's getting all the proper slots in. Ready, tidy, lefty, loosey on all the screws or whatever that would be in there. Yeah, it's advanced technology. Not like anything you're directly familiar with, but you know, you have a very tinkering background. You're able to figure it out and get Elva's leg reattached. My goodness. Cool. It's like a glove.

Congratulations, you can do the hokey pokey once again. Oh yeah, just like old times. Here we go, brother. You put your left foot in, you put your left foot out. You put your right foot in, shake it all about. Oh, this is what we used to do between battles and all the murder sprees. So much joy.

Like smash cut to Doug just sweating. Yes, I'm so glad that these family moments are happening and they're reuniting and I fight for the pain. Kiki would absolutely join in on because he just learned what his left and right is. Oh, yeah. Something catches your eye over Gunther's shoulder. Another sail off in the distance, closing quickly on your position on your boat. Sail ho, up ahead.

Look at that big boat. Hopefully this isn't a ghost ship that will make me poop my pants from fear. It doesn't appear to be a ghost ship, but you may still poop your pants from fear because you recognize this ship toll. No. It is a long ship with a rusty armor plated hull, a pointed bow and stern, and a flag of a heart half made of metal.

And it's being pulled through the water by an armored giant shark. The side of the ship reads, Dairdrosed in the common tongue death rust, but you know it as iron clad ship. Oh no. This is like the most inconvenient thing ever. Wow.

This guy is such a bummer. I mean, you're looking for your other siblings. So, Hey everybody. We're about to have a family reunion. Oh, that sounds great! The ship draws closer and you can hear Ironclad hailing you all. Torv, Elva, I'm glad to see you reunited. Join me on my quest.

What's your quest? Thank you for asking. My quest is to find and reunite all my children and find the islands of Nonimo and of course the Sea-Drinker before anyone else. For good reasons? Well of course. I don't think he'd do it for good reason. I turn to Elven and say I think we should prepare for battle.

Oh no, we just got our heels back. Will you be able to do battle, brother, in your current state? Gosh dang it, you're so right. No one's saying during this fight! Please! Perhaps we should answer him? I will hear what you have to say, ironclad, but do not think this makes us friends, okay? Oh, you see with my children reunited and the hidden islands found we can find the secrets to eternity Oh God, I guess I I kind of like the ironclad is in another ship

So I would be like whispering to everybody and kind of like walking amongst them passing by them And I say everybody just play along but whatever you do do not trust ironclad okay ironclad we're about to come aboard you come closer and with that the ballista fire giant harpoon at your ship and right before it impacts the harpoons to the park into several different harpoons that all impact your ship and like a giant winch the ballista begins pulling you all closer to his ship. Dude I said I was coming aboard you did not need to damage our ship what the heck! I'm just trying to help. That is pretty cool though.

That is not help. That's not help! That's like you poke so many holes into the ship that is the point of the ship is to not have the holes you call that a ship that's just a glorified dinghy oh my god this guy sucks so bad you don't even know gang all four of you make me a what do we call it perception checks five twelve eleven eight as your ship is drawn closer to ironclad ship of like a bunch of little trolling's jump. As your ship is drawn closer to Ironclad's ship, like a bunch of little trolling's jump over onto your ship. They're like hulky, warty little humanoids and they begin holding out their hands

to take your weapons. What if I don't hand this over? I mean, I don't have a weapon to give you, but you can try and take my child's weapon. I'm not gonna assist with that. Hand over the weapons or you will get hurt. You take the weapons and you will get hurt. No, you get hurt.

No, you get hurt. No, you get hurt. Okay, what if we like meet in the middle and we do not give you our weapons, but promise not to totally stab you to death like we really, really want to. Yeah, thank you, promise. Yeah. No, give us your weapons and we won't stab you to death. Well, these are like the first crew members ever. You replaced a bunch of cool robots with a new troll people. Lame boo. Trolllings? Oh, oh, my bad, wow. Could I use my telepathic utterance on these guys? Sure. What are you going to do?

And just say, we don't have to give you our weapons. Just let us aboard. Ooh, you can influence them like that? I just like, well, I'd like to think, like, they hear it in their head. So they're kind of convinced that it's like. Do it like in an intimidating way. How about that?

I'll do it like ironclad. OK. Make me a deception check. I Have a negative one to deception 11. Okay, they start looking around at each other. You say that oh You say that I I think you'll captain ironclad said that I'm pretty sure I heard him say that yeah No, he didn't say that Give us the weapons they wield their javelins at you. They're like shake them at you I think we might have to listen to him gang. Okay, I'm going to say this as your Admiral Anyway, give us the weapons. They wield their javelins at you. They like shake them at you.

I think we might have to listen to him gang. Okay, I'm going to say this as your admiral, I think we, you know what? How many trolling are there? Let's say there are six. That's not a lot. Yeah, I'm gonna go ahead and smash one with my vorhammer. You know, I'm so sorry, but as the admiral,

this guy super sucks and we currently outnumber his trolling. Get ready for a fight, gang, because this is not going to happen. Yeah, they're not expecting it. They're they think you're going to hand over weapons. So go ahead and make a tech roll. OK, first, I'm going to enter a rage, though. And then I'm going to use my first. Since you are currently hate violence, you have disadvantage on the attack.

Oh, my god. I forgot I was I was waiting for that Well, that's a nat 20, okay, you'll be able to do it that and a Interesting a critical fail Oh my god, you got a final one. Dude! What if you did it in a non-violent way? You swing the hammer down, but you telegraph the moves so much that the trolling who's standing there is able to hop out of the way. And they all start chanting at each other. Kill them, kill them, kill them.

Giggi chants along. What does that sound like? Kill them, kill them, kill them! Gigi chants along. What does that sound like? Kill them, kill them, kill them! As they begin preparing their javelins to attack you all, you see the seas beneath you begin slowly bubbling and swirling. And very quickly they begin building an intensity and a massive swirling whirlpool emerges from amongst the waves. It begins pulling you in like a violent vortex and swallowing both ships down into the never-ending void below. Oh, no. Anyway, thanks for listening to our podcast. It's over now. Everyone's dead.

Oh no. I was going to say, Natty holds onto the edge of the boat. Doug braces himself. Find out what happens if there is anything at the bottom of the whirlpool. What's going to happen with these little trolling and with ironclad in the next episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon. So much lore. We were having such a nice moment on the ship episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon. So much lore! We were having such a nice moment on the ship and then he had to ruin it all.

Typical Ironclad. Typical Ironclad. Ironclad! Ironclad! Hey you! Did you know we have a store? That's right! If you want Stinky Dragon merchandise you can head over to store.stinkydragonpod.com

for all your stinky merch needs including things like Infinite Legends merch, Prestidigitation Spelling T-shirt, love that one, we'll love all of them, Council of Barbarians T-shirt, and more. Go check it out. Anything you purchase there directly supports us and helps us keep making the show, so go visit store.stinkydragonpod.com. It can be your good deed for the day. New episodes of Tales from the Stinky Dragon premiere every other Wednesday for every stream

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access to our patron only Discord server, bonus content like Second Wind and behind the screen and much more. Hey, here's a quick peek from last episode of Second Wind. This is very much like the leg conversation. Missing legs have been a thing that's been from the beginning or finding legs and that kind of thing. I guess what I'm asking for is like,

was I the crazy person or are they the crazy person? Here's what happened. There's levels of like knowledge that happen and kind of trickle out through this podcast. Yeah. There's me writing it down. There's me later on when I remember, oh, I wrote that down.

And then there's also Gus reading it later and be like, yeah, Micah wrote that. Do I know what, do I have the same? Context. Perspective. Yeah, perspective. Yeah, perspective. Context and all that stuff.

The secret to Stinky Dragon is that this is just one really complicated game of telephone. It is, all the way until it gets to our, the player's notebook. That's the like, the last bit of information of like the telephone. I want to clarify for our audience, just to bluntly say it. The metal leg that they have is Elva's leg.

Correct? I just want, I just, we've been talking around it, but I want to be bluntly said because here's the thing I understood in the moment what it was, but then you guys, someone, Blaine, I think, confused it. That confused me. And then I didn't know. And I think since that moment listening to the episode, I've been confused. And so I just need to know- You still gas lit. Whose leg are they holding on to?

It's one thing when like someone is gas lighting you on purpose, it's another thing when you start gas lighting yourself. Ha ha ha ha. Again, that's StinkyDragonPod.com. We cannot thank you enough for your support that lets us make this show. Listeners who interacted with us on the Stinky Dragon Discord

had NPCs named after them in this episode, like the Privateer named after PitFam3 voiced by Bernie Burns at Bernie from Rooster Teeth slash Morning Somewhere. I know that guy. Elva is voiced by Charlotte Avery at Moms underscore home underscore. I know her. Lousy Laskyul named after AlexB007 voiced by Chad James. I know him too. At Chad James RT from Death Battle.

Yarl Ironclad voiced by Adam Ellis at Adam dot.E.Ellis. You're not going to believe this. I know him too. Memur named after Mia Kimble voiced by Lindsey Washburn. At the Linsbot. Spoiler, know her. The Veiled Eye voiced by Andre Ouellet. At Andre Krott. I know him. That's amazing. I know so many people. This week's Arrow Questions submitted by Fae Bird. This episode of Tales From The Stinky Dragon was produced by Ben Ernst, written, edited, composed, and micro-rising her with additional editing work by Katherine Arnold and David Sainé. I know all those people. Tune in next time for another thrilling episode of Tales From The Stinky Dragon and find out who else I know. Bravissimo! Our heroes are finally starting to recall their destiny.

The notes are all there, ready for them to play their part, but they still need help hearing the overture. I think it's time to shelf subtlety in favor of something more fortissimo. Perhaps a vis-a-vis. But how to break past the wall between us. Wait. That's it!