Tales from the Stinky Dragon - C03 - Ep. 22 - Brig of Endridge Bay - The Great Mistery

Episode Date: July 23, 2025

B-Team’s and Ironklad’s battle into the depths of a vortex of swirling sea lead to unexpected exploration. Support us directly on Patreon https://www.patreon.com/stinkydragon - get access to ad-free episodes, bonus content like Stinky Dragon Adventures & Second Wind, our patreon-exclusive discord, and more! Check out our new Infinight Legends Collection and limited edition Anniversary collection at store.stinkydragonpod.com ! Follow us on our socials at https://linktr.ee/TalesFromTheStinkyDragon Cast: Gus Sorola, Blaine Gibson, Barbara Dunkelman, Jon Risinger, Chris Demarais Writer/Editor/Composer: Micah Risinger Producer: Benjamin Ernst Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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and we are partnering with Fathom Entertainment to bring our 2025 tour to movie theaters across the US and Canada. Head to theater to see our game Daggerheart played in Exandria for the first time ever on August 5th. And of course, we've got the wedding of the year coming to theaters on October 15th with an iconic Jester and Ford wedding. Visit fathomentertainment.com slash critical role to find tickets and theaters near you. That's fathomententertainment.com slash Critical Role. Hey, I'm Arnie Niekamp from the fully improvised comedy podcast, Hello from the Magic Tavern.

I'm here with my co-hosts, Chunt the Talking Badger. Bing bong. And Usinor the Wizard. I greet thee, listeners. Look, I'm trapped in the magical land of Foon. So I started a podcast interviewing elves, unicorns, and other weirdos.

We have great guests like Felicia Day, Jason Manzoukas, Brennan Lee Mulligan, Amy Mann, and so many more. Oh, and I think one time we interviewed a sentient shoe. I hope it was sentient. Not to mention the evil people we've had to interview. How I hate evil. Join us as we bar crawl across the magical land of Foon. Looking for adventure.

Getting caught up in escapades. Hello from the Magic Tavern is available right now on your favorite podcast app. And ad free and with lots of bonus content on Patreon. Subscribe to Hello from the Magic Tavern today. day. Nice of you to drop by, all you Nihads. Nautically knock on the stinky dragon and quaff our latest cuppa. What are you thinking? It's a mixture of psychic-touch tea leaves, flying elder flowers, invisible water, and topped with sunken treasure trinkets. One sip of this psychedelic sea sauce and you'll be thinking what I'm thinking. Previously our adventurers sailed the high Saline seas aboard a borrowed ship, the Blindfold.

They delved below deck, bumped into buccaneers in the brig, and perused the privateers' private quarters. After dipping into desperately needed downtime and dropping jaws at the Jebediah, the party perceived another ship on the stormy seas, Ironclad's Deirdrost. Now the two ships are tethered and being swallowed by the sea, nab some nectar and nestle in for a noxious narrative. I'm gonna hit our four players with an arrow. What game show real or made up would your character love to be on and how well do you think they do and that's submitted by the

silent taco that's the deadliest taco of all. Everyone's on roll initiative. Two. Eight. Thirteen. Thirteen. Chris that was the saddest two I've ever heard. Give it another read, give it another read, come on. Two's aren't happy. Oh God, you're not happy.

Two! We had two 13s. I rolled a nat one on a roll off, Barb, so go before me. Okay, what if I also roll a one? Do it, do it, I dare you. You gotta roll two, Barb. Oh, I rolled a seven. I thought it was a one,

because you rolled a seven, it's kinda like once a day. I was like, oh! So it's gonna be Doug, Nattie, Toll, Gunther. Okay. Well, helloll, Gunther. Okay. Well, hello everyone. Welcome to another episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon. I'm your co-host, Barbara Dunkelman.

Hello. Is that what we are now? I've upgraded myself. Oh yeah. And I play Doug Boone, the male bugbear artificer who's currently at a level five. And you know, Doug, I think could participate on a number of game shows. But, you know, in Doug's strong suit is his brain. So, you know, he's not very blondie,

even though he looks kind of strong, but more strong in the mental capacity. And so I think, I think if Doug was to participate in a game show of sorts, he would choose to participate in Netflix's The Devil's Plan. Oh, that's a good one. You're talking my language.

I don't know what this is. You don't watch Devil's Plan? Devil's Plan is so good. No. It's a reality show on Netflix that's all about being really smart and figuring out these games and puzzles and all that stuff. It's very good.

It's like physical 100 if it was about using your brains. Yeah that stuff. It's very good. It's like physical 100 if it was about using your brains. Yeah. Oh, it's very good. I just canceled my Netflix subscription, so I'm not going to watch it. It does sound like we're promoting that. Well, we're not because I just said I'm canceling. I can't use it. Well, you should rejoin so you can watch Devil's Plan. I'm not. I'm tired of paying that money.

So, Doug, I mean, Devil's Plan is a South Korean game show. Can Doug hit me up with his best Korean phrase here? This can't end well. Yeah, so Doug's gonna say this in Korean and then all the audience is gonna hear it translated into English. Oh, wow. That's how you mean that must be an invention.

Oh, hello Gustavo Chairola. My name is Doug Boone. Wow. At Star Trek rules. That's how you mean that must be an invention. Hello Gustavo Churola. My name is Doug Boone. Wow. That's Star Trek rules. That's a really cool invention. Can I see that Doug? This translator you have. Wow.

This is amazing. You made this yourself? It's immediate. Yeah. Wow. I'm currently speaking Korean. I'm going to speak Korean in the entire episode. And you guys just won't even know it.

Wow. Wow. Conjugated everything perfectly too. This is amazing. Amazing. Your honorifics are on point. Wow. Wow. Conjugated everything perfectly too. This is amazing. Your honorifics are on point. Thanks, Doug. That's a great answer. I was not expecting that.

OK, my turn. Hi, John Reisinger here. I play Nattie Wonder, who is a drow warlock and a mother of one. That's her subclass. So I love me some game shows. I got plenty of times that I can remember sitting down with my mamas and we watch all the game shows, especially on the days. Now, this isn't my one that I want to be on. Never mind.

This is going to be the one I want to be on. I just, you know what? I just changed my answer because I just thought even better than what I was going to say. So the one that I loved the most was the one that I got to catch on the days where I was too sick to go to school. So I got to stay home. And I've always dreamed of being on The Price is Right. I was going to say, I know what you're going to say. It's 11 AM every day.

Yep, I feel like I could do really well on that show. I feel like I'd be a good personality for them to have on there. And it just seemed like just a fun place to be. Everyone there is having a good time. Everyone there is excited. When they call your name, everyone's already clapping for you. It's just good vibes all around. Hey Nanny, could I get a $1 Bob?

You seem like you'd be perfectly suited for that game show, Nanny. I'm a child of the eighties. I'm a child of the eighties. I'm a child of the eighties. I'm a child of the eighties. I'm a child of the eighties. I'm a child of the eighties. I'm a child of the eighties. I'm a child of the eighties. I'm a child of the eighties.

I'm a child of the eighties. I'm a child of the eighties. I'm a child of the eighties. I'm a child of Drew Carey. He was a huge Dragon fan before. I honestly have no idea if he's a good host or a bad host. It's just, I'm a child of the eighties and nineties. So Bob is my guy. Bob supremacy. You want to go with Bob Barker or smart supporter, Drew Carey.

Ooh. No. Oops. That's pretty cool. Thanks, daddy. I'm liking these answers so far. No pressure on the second half of the team here. Toll of Europe.

Hello, it's me, Blaine, and I play Toll of Yoohoo, the male orc barbarian. I'm level five. I guess I'm not an orc anymore. Yeah, yeah. What was I? A Thaumatech? I guess I should start introducing myself appropriately now. The wig has been snatched as Natty would say. Everyone knows my true identity. And, oh, you know, there are so many amazing game shows.

You know, as Gustavo mentioned earlier, there's physical 100, which is great. But I think I would be the most proficient at American gladiators. Oh, yeah. I've always dreamed of going, you know, into the Atlas sphere against laser and turbo and, you know, climbing the pyramid when, you know, in a mad dash against Malibu. You know, I think I would do great on that show. Oh, I would love to see that.

I actually, okay, I genuinely would love to do American gladiator. Yeah. I think they brought it back briefly or a version of it with the rock. Is that like where you see the obstacle course with like swinging from the monkey bars and then like jumping and like hanging onto like a rope

ladder and like doing all those things or is that something else? That's American Ninja Warrior. Ninja Warrior is what I'm thinking of. Yeah, American Gladiator is like, it seems to kind of set up as like an arena but all the games are all different and then they would team you against like a genetic freak on steroids Pound these everyday Joe's

Star-spangled banner red white and blue stripes amazing. It was a great show. I felt like yeah That's that you just like unlocked a core memory. I haven't thought about American Gladiators in a long time Yeah, since we're in a safe space here in our arrow question. I haven't thought about American gladiators in a long time. Yeah. Since we're in a safe space here in our arrow question, I want to make a confession here. This has nothing to do with your arrow question, but Blaine said something here about Tollve that made me think about a mistake I made

early in this campaign that no one picked up on. I don't remember if it was like episode two, maybe or three during an arrow, Blaine introduced himself as Tollv and an orc. And I was like, you're not an orc. And I gave him grief about it. And I was like, uh-oh. And I was like, oh yeah,

I looked at your character sheet. You're totally an orc. There was so many times where there was close calls like that. And I was like, what are you doing? What are you doing? Stop! This is why I don't like knowing too much ahead of time because I will blow it. I am terrible at keeping secrets. I didn't like knowing too much ahead of time because I will blow it.

I am terrible at keeping secrets. I didn't know that you knew. I guess it has to be involved in your character sheet. Kind of like something about campaign two, which we won't reveal here just in case people haven't listened to it yet, but something involved in one of our characters. We've got an episode of Second Wind

where we're gonna talk a lot more in depth about it and the secret and half and half hold it. So if you're a Patreon subscriber, you can, you can hear that and hear all the close calls I've had trying to keep this a secret. And we're going to cover the New York Times bestseller book, The Secret as well. Yes. All right. Explain Chris, AKA Gunther Europe. Anyeongnae Ilyum Un Chris Damaris.

Oh, Gunther the male croak folk fighter. How was that Gus? How was that Gus? Yeah, is he a fighter Gus? Is that correct? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I believe it's pronounced fighter. I think you said Ilium.

I believe it should be Edom. Okay, yeah. Well, I'm working on it. In the Korean alphabet, the character for R and L is the same. So sometimes it may, like if you're using an online translator, it may put it as the wrong one. Ah.

Anyway, I'm Gunther. Hello. I think I would, if I was out to play a game show, I think I would like to play in the mole. Oh! The mole? Good one. I'm gonna have to Google that. I don't remember that at all.

Yes. The mole was great. Great. The newer version I don't love as much as like the old version. I have fought many moles. I can always defeat them. They are easy to defeat.

So if I was to come up against a mole, I would win every time. I see. You would, yes you would. Are we thinking of the same show? Are you thinking of the right show? I think it's a joke based on the fact that he would actually fight a real mole.

I think you're right. I think you're right, yeah. I don't know if you noticed this, but there's a long running gag that Chris keeps playing where Gunther doesn't understand the nuance of like hyperbole and metaphor and idioms and all that kind of stuff. OK. Also, I think I'm very good at finding traitors. Gunther, get out of here. We're talking real stuff right now. Yeah, the mole is another great show. The original one was a network show.

It was hosted by Anderson Cooper back in the day. It's been rebooted and I think there's two new seasons on Netflix, if I remember. Again, not a plug for Netflix. If you want to cancel it, go ahead. I don't care. They're not paying us. They got some good reality shows

if you all want to check them out. The two most recent seasons are very different than the original ones. Everyone killed it with these answers today, guys. I'm super entertained with all of them. These are mainly because these are all game shows I like, so. Good job. Everyone give yourself a pat on the back.

Yay. Wait, really quick, Gus. What would you want to be on? Oh, I didn't even think about answering for myself. I don't have an answer prepared. I think I would like to be... Oh, I know what. I'd be on The Amazing Race.

Oh, really? Are reality shows game shows now? Is that what it is? Well, there's a price at the end. There's a million dollars, like you're competing in games. I'm not arguing it. I'm just coming to that realization that I guess that's like a genre of game shows now.

I wouldn't even say now. I mean, The Amazing Race and Survivor both started like in 2000, 2001, like it's like 25 years at this point. But they're called them reality shows. I guess maybe reality game show? Yeah. Okay. You see the seas beneath you

begin slowly bubbling and swirling. And very quickly they begin building an intensity and a massive swirling whirlpool emerges from amongst the waves. It begins pulling you in like a violent vortex and swallowing both ships down into the never-ending void below. A roaring torrent of wind, water, and thunder

swirl all around you like a Herculean drain. Both your ship and Ironclad's ship are bound by ballista chains caught in an unending vortex of stormy seas Whilst being swallowed into the oblivion ironclad screams over the raging tempest capture my children feed the rest Al Gore the president Gore not Al Gore, not Al Gore. Al Gore. Al Gore.

Al Gore. So A-L-G-O-R? He invented the internet, did he not? There's gotta be a different way to pronounce this that's not just you saying Al Gore. Former vice president, Al Gore. Al Gore's very hungry. Feed the rest to Al Jor. Feed the rest to Dick Cheney.

I love that, Gus, you tried to move past that name so much and we were like, no? You just said, the guy who invented the internet. Adam Ellis is gonna do great when he reads it. It is a patron. It's a name from our Patreon. I assume. Al Gore. Hey, Al Gore! Dude, thanks, man! Thanks. Al Gore, Drew Carey, best friends.

Wow! The massive armored shark towing ironclad ships surges through the surf to the stern of your ship. Its iron-plated jaws chop voraciously. The six trolling before you point their bone-jawed javelins menacingly. And charge! So they're not concerned about the fact that we're in a drain? They're following orders. No, I mean like anybody, ironclad, his people,

like he's just like, get my babies. I mean, they're professionals. So maybe they're used to these conditions, who knows? Okay. Yeah, didn't Toll live at the bottom of the ocean for a while? Yeah. So like, probably isn't true.

They might have some advantages that we do not. All right. Seeing some things. Are we in combat or are we at a point to make a choice? Why don't you roll initiative and then we can make a choice. Rolling initiative, that is a dirty 20. 15.

Eight. Also a 15. Jesus, Barbara, get off my back. What's your, what's your dex? My dex is 16. So you go first. Okay I'm after a machine or fnati. Why do I want to say my teeth again? You're so quick on the draw with that blade he's just ready to just put I

Want a reboot of the of the pink panther with Blaine now, put me. I want a reboot of the, of the pink panther with blame. Now that's what I want. Ooh. All right. They're charging 12. You're up first in the initiative order. So you're going to be the one who makes a decision or figures out what are y'all doing here?

Okay. I say, I am clad as much as I want to end your life today, I just need to like hold up the timeout and say like, are you doing this whirlpool? Is this happening or is this you? Or is this like, is this just bad timing? Cause we could, we could like put a pause on this, have a rain check and then do a rematch, you know,

in not a whirlpool or I could kill you now in this very epic setting. It's your choice, really. You say all this and I'll tell you what, one, make me a persuasion check, and then I'm gonna give you another check after that. Regardless of the outcome, I'm just letting you know now. Okay.

Oh my God, I'm so persuasive. Seven. All right, and now make me a perception check. That's a 19. Okay, you make this plea to Ironclad. It's not a plea, I'm not begging. It's just like a very formal request. So, you know.

You make this cowardly formal request to Ironclad. And you look over at the deck of the Daerdrost and you see Ironclad just laughing maniacally storm raging around him Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha his butt off. He doesn't seem like he's swayed at all by your request. Okay, well I guess it's combat time. One more insult, if I may, to, to, to, listen, I haven't seen Ironclad in so long. I have so many things that I want to tell him. I've been thinking about this moment while walking the bottom of the ocean, you know, so,

hey, Ironclad, it looks like you did really downgrade it on your military force. What are these little things? What are they called? Trolling. Trolling. Nailed it. Is it because it's like a pond? Because you like troll like like water?

That's actually really good. That's pretty good. I'll give you that one. Troll. OK, I rage. And then how far away am I from the nearest trolling? There's six of them total. The closest one we'll say is 15 feet away. Oh, okay. Let me make sure if my shield is active. It looks like it is. I'm gonna keep it active for now just in case these guys are super powerful,

but I don't think they are. They're trolling. I'm gonna hit one of them with the warhammer, that closest one. Okay, so you close the distance, angrily swinging your war hammer with one hand. That is a 16. That hits. Good, and then here's a bludgeoning for you. Wowie zowie, that's a 12. That's one-handed, by the way.

Ooh, yeah, you hit the trolling, and it does that thing where it spins him around, and he's dazed and bloodied, and seems like he doesn't that thing where like, it spins him around and he's like dazed and bloodied and seems like he doesn't know which direction is which. I also have plus two from rage. So it's 14 technically. And then like a tree in the forest being fell by lumberjacks, he falls over on the ground onto his back.

Oh, good thing I raged. That was cool. You see that one shot in your trolling ironclad. I bet you wish you had a bunch of a thumb attacks dork Dork this is a family friendly Whoa, yeah if you did chum Another fish pun

All right, and then I'm gonna move on to my second attack and I'm gonna hit the next nearest trolling. Okay. Going trolling for trolling. There you go. Oh my God, are you pooping on me right now? That was a one. I feel like that's worse than the expletive.

Believe it or not, that is a miss. Unless someone had like an inspiration die. You know, it'd be a shame if I like failed critically in front of my old big bad guy. Yeah, but you did. Yeah. Unless someone had like, you know, like a heroic inspiration.

They wouldn't be a hero to 12. I don't. Natty, Natty. I don't have one. I don't have one. Yeah,'t have any of the guys to like, you know, just take the loss you big baby. I'll tell you what Blaine. Yeah. So nicely roll a d4 low is bad. High is good. You sure you want to set this precedent? I didn't know what you could do this. That's a one. But I think if you want to give me an inspiration night on my re-roll D4.

It's funny, you've been talking so much trash about the trolling and your battle prowess against them that maybe you were distracted. And as you take your second swing, the war hammer flies out of your hands and gets swallowed by the war pool. It gets to the bottom of the sea. Daisy. Wait, you lost your war hammer? Should have used two hands. I guess I did. Yeah. It was slowing me down. I on cloud. Now I should be with a shield. Yeah.

In America, your butt. All right. That's it for toll. Yeah. So two of the trolling's are going to close the distance around toll. Actually, I tell you what, all the remaining trolling's are going to be in the same place. So I'm going to be in the same place. I'm going to be in the same place.

I'm going to be in the same place. I'm going to be in the same place. All right, that's it for 12. So two of the trolling are gonna close the distance around 12. Actually, I tell you what, all the remaining trolling are going to gather up at this point. Yeah, sure, why not? Who else is in initiative, by the way, with us? Like is Elva in there?

Is Lascio? That's a great question, Barb. In order to not slow down combat, why don't if one of you wants to call on them during your turn, they can assist you in that turn. That, why don't if one of you wants to call on them during your turn, they can assist you in that turn. That way we don't have to worry about rolling their initiative, taking time for all of that. Let's just try to streamline things a little bit. Gotcha.

Elva, do you have an inspiration to eye? Do you want to like, you know? Two of the Troll Links close around you, Tolf, and they begin trying to use their pointy spears to attack at you make me a I'll give you the choice either a strength or a dexterity check. Oh I'm gonna have to go with Which one is higher? Strength I did they're the same but I feel like I should rely on strength. That is a 13 they begin poking at you, but it's a strange attack It's not like they're stabbing into your,

I would say your flesh, but they're not stabbing into your body. It's almost like they're using their javelins to kind of pick off pieces of your armor. Oh, like a rend? Yeah, kind of. It's like the points are slicing at you and also kind of like removing your armor

that you're using at the moment. So you take 20 points of damage. You get a minus two to your armor that you're using at the moment. So you take 20 points of damage. You get a minus two to your armor class. I'm gonna do 10 damage because I'm raging. Oh, right, right, right. And then how do I adjust my armor? Yeah, just make a note for now, like mentally. Okay.

Stop tickling me. What is this weird strategy? Oh my gosh. CEO, you're to make me naked. The remaining three trollings like rustle around in their sacks, pull out something and they begin lobbing objects at the other three members of the party.

All three of you make dexterity saving throws. Objects. I'll describe them in a bit. Once we determine whether they hit you or not. 12. Brown and squishy. 17. Six.

Ha ha ha ha ha. All right, so 12 from Doug, a 17 from Gunther, and a six from Natty, which are all failures. Wow! You all begin getting pelted with what appear to be severed limbs. Ah! Severed arms and legs begin raining down

on the three of you, bludgeoning you and hitting you all over, doing 10 points of bludgeoning damage to each of you. God, the poop would have been better, gosh. Ha ha, you have found the remains of my last foes. Ha ha. I love the Gunther trash talk. Nattie, you're up.

Then after Nattie is Doug, then Gunther. Okay. You said there were six Trollings and two went to attack Toll. One got killed. Right. There were six. One got killed before their actions.

So there were two attacking Toll and three who were lobbying those limbs. And the three that are lobbying their limbs, are they in a group? Yes. Okay. Careful Natty, they are armed. Ooh. That's pretty good, that's pretty good.

You did pretty good. Yeah. Nice. There it is. Natty wants to try something out that she's been working with Captain Grumbles and Gigi for Gigi's attack, okay? And Natty yells out,

Grumbles, initiate attack Topsy Toddler. Ooh. And Captain Grumbles goes, errrr. And he picks up Gigi. Doesn't matter if Gigi wants to be picked up or not. It's actually fine if he doesn't want to cause Gigi's holding his ax.

And Captain Grumbles holding Gigi out in front of him just rushes towards those trolling as Gigi just swipes around and tries to hit the first thing he can. All right, yeah, let's do it. I'm just gonna roll for his basic attack. I don't think you've ever given me a precedent for his axe. 17 plus five, 22.

Oh yeah, that's good. Three plus three slashing damage, so six slashing damage. Okay. And his like rend has a poisoning effect, but he's using the axe. So I assume that isn't proc. Well, what applies the poison? Is it like his claws or his mouth or is there like further explanation of where it comes from? The attack is called Rend and it's a melee attack. I think it's just maybe like a bite or a claw.

I don't know. That's what I'm thinking. Yeah. So yeah, six slashing damage to a troll. I'm fine with that. Okay. The troll kind of stumbles a little bit, but regains its composure and stands its ground. Well, he won't for very long, because Nanny's gonna shoot him. Nice. Nanny goes, Good job, baby. And points a finger at that guy, rolls a...

What do I get to that? Plus seven? So rolls a 23. Yep, good. Gigi's not gonna get hit by that, is he? No. D10, seven, plus four, plus three, 14. Wow, that's impressive.

And you were targeting the one that Gigi hit, right? Yeah. Yeah, that trolling falls to the ground as well, joining its friend in a long nap. Nice. I get to blast again. Woo! So anyway, Natty started blasting.

Yeah. And so I guess I'll just go for another trolling where my baby is. But that's not gonna work. That's a two plus of seven So nine that is not enough. Unfortunately, that's not true. I give inspiration died in I got to lead by example twist of a century. I just rolled a net 20

Oh! What are you doing with that, Gus? I am glad you did that! Good job, that was a good use. We'll roleplay this a little bit. Tov, how are you gonna inspire Natty here in this moment? I like it. I say, come on, Natty, you can do better. Your baby Gigi is watching his mama.

Now impress him. Oh, I like it, yeah. Yes, I'm gonna roll for damage on that. 10 plus four plus three, so seven, no no not plus three, but fourteen fourteen damage force damage plus crit, right? You create a script plus another ten. Yeah, so twenty four You see that ironclad you see how good of a parents 90 is to giggy This could have been you! I'm liking this. That trolling gets blasted into a couple of different pieces that fall to the floor.

Alright, that's two for me! That's how you're like Gimli here. I keep track of everybody I send to my wife. You have like a ticker sheet? Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're on the guest list for the wedding. The wedding for your existing wife. We're married, but we haven't gotten to have the ceremony. I thought you guys were like now renewal or something like that. Buffet style or table delivery or you know.

I'm a fan of a buffet. Oh, because it's usually you get to go and pick what you want. And I just love saying that word. It sounds fancy. I mean, I have to say you're incentivizing us to stop you from killing because there's just gonna be more people in the buffet line Hungry I like that reasoning anything else that II I'm done before we move on I do want to mention this Micah says that we've talked about this before and that Maddie also said buffet

that previous time as well. So it's definitely settled. It's canon. Oh really? Yeah. Didn't we talk about it like recently? I'll tell you what, we talked about it before my wedding and a lot of you guys said you prefer buffet and I was very hurt because I did a plated dinner for my wedding and I was like they're not gonna like my dinner. I love plated dinner. I don't have to walk nowhere. Everyone gets it at the same time. I don't like what I become around a buffet because of that kick into my like, like carnal instincts. I don't like what I become.

To consume as much as possible. It's like the Jekyll and Hyde situation. Yeah, it's the survival caveman part of my brain. It's like, you must consume. Oh yeah. Speaking of consumption, Doug, I believe you are up. Guys, I just want to say they no longer have a leg up on us and he holds up one of the legs.

Doug, make me a perception check. Okay, you got it. We're gonna find out what kind of leg it is in there. 17. The leg's still wriggling in your hand. Oh! I'm gonna have to put it down! I assume they're like robotic.

No. Are they like actual like human fleshy limbs? They're smaller than human. They're small. But yeah, it is still kicking and trying to like kick you in the face as you pick it up. Can I tell what type of creature? Make me another perception check here. Maybe you're crazy, Doug, but it looks like a trolling leg.

Maybe it's because trolling are in front of you and that's what you have in mind, but it seems like the same size of leg as the creatures that you're encountering right now. What's a trolling? Like a small troll. Let me see, I think I have a physical description here. I just didn't know if it was like anything special.

So it is a, just a smaller version of a troll. It's a, like a warty humanoid, gray green muscles, glowing red eyes. Okay. And these legs seem to match. Yeah. With your roll of a seven. Oh yeah.

But maybe it's one of those really easy ones since they're in front of me. All right. What do you want to do, Doug? So the ones that were throwing the limbs at us, Natty blasted one of them to sleep, correct? I believe Natty blasted two of them. So there's two remaining? There's one remaining over there that was one of the throwers, and then two remaining around 12 in melee range. Okay. They're in melee range of them. So there's two remaining? There's one remaining over there that was one of the throwers and then two remaining around 12 in melee range. Okay they're in melee range of 12 so if I did an

area of attack type thing 12 might get in the way. Tell me what you want to do and we'll see we'll see maybe we can like angle it or finagle it to to work out. Well I wanted to ask if any of them were at the edge of the boat like to the point where if they got hit real bad they might topple over. Oh it's definitely a possibility if you angle like a force attack or something in that direction. Okay. Just for transparency, they may make a dexterity check or something to see if they're able to keep their feet under them. For sure. I'm gonna just try to shoot my crossbow at one of the ones attacking Tollv, or near Tollv.

Okay, yeah. Shoot! Nice. 23. Oh yeah, that's great. And that will do four points of damage. Yeah. The crossbow bolt impacts one of those trolling

who looks down at it and looks up at you and snarls. And could I actually, this is a bonus action that I meant to say before I rolled my damage. Could I also cast branding smite? Yeah, what does that do? The bonus action. And meant to say before I rolled my damage. Could I also cast Branding Smite? Yeah, what does that do? A bonus action and the next time you hit a creature with a weapon attack before the spell ends, the weapon gleams with Astral Radiance as you strike.

The attack deals an extra 2d6 radiant damage to the target. Ooh! Wow. Yeah, absolutely. So yeah, go ahead and roll that. Won't be snarling for long. That's an extra six points of damage. Okay, so your crossbow bolt flies through striking it. The trolling looks down at it. And as the branding smite takes hold,

it begins to glow and the radiant damage impacts the trolling and the trolling kind of tries to shield its eyes from the glow, but it becomes too much and the trolling loses its balance and falls over the railing of the ship into the swirling whirlpool below. And could I listen out for a little splash sound? I'm gonna tell you what, you can.

It's gonna be very difficult to hear because of the storm raging. Make me an investigation check at disadvantage to see if you hear it. Okay. Seven. You're not sure if you can hear it or not. You hear the trolling yellings as it falls over the edge.

You just can't make out a splash. It's just too loud, it's whirling around you. Hulve tries to cover and goes, oh. Got him. Gus, the way you were describing that, it was almost like you were describing how the vampires would die in the Blade movies. Oh, yeah. But then he just fell back. I was like, like you were describing how the vampires would die like in the blade movies He fell back is like, okay

Raiders whenever the lightning hits him and then like beams of light come out of their mouth and or for He'd like literally a steak like a bolt went into and I was just thinking of like, you know, Wesley Anything else you do Doug think that's it. That's my turn. All turn. Don't you have a blade tattoo? I do. Right over here. You know he does. Maybe talk about that in a second when I'm on it. Gunther, you're up. I have a question about this harpoon that is attached to our ship. Okay. Where is it and is how like embedded into the ship is it?

So I'm not going to go back and look up the exact wording of it, but I'll give you a broad explanation. It was a ballista arrow that was fired and then split off into multiple like ballista shafts that impacted your ship. So it would started as one spread out and now there's like several that are impacted into your ship and holding on. So if you were thinking about like going

and trying to remove it, it would take a while because there's a few. There's several, right? How many? I believe it was three. Three? If you're gonna do something with that, I'm gonna go back and double check.

I'm just saying three to give you an idea of where it is more or less. I guess I could just, we could kill these guys first and then deal with it. There's only two trolling left on the deck. One that's threatening 12 and another one that was one of the limb throwers. All right.

It's got your name on it Gunther. Yeah, Gunther reaches into his pouch and pulls his flail and he goes, ha ha ha and throws it off the board. I also do not need my weapon. What? Yeah. Solidarity. Yeah, and then jumps and can he try Ha ha ha throws it off the board. I also do not need my weapon Solidarity yeah, and then jumps and can you try and run and jump and stab that one by 12?

Absolutely. I love the camaraderie here by gun That's a nat 20 Right 28. Yeah, that clearly hits. So that's how does that work out? Yeah, I'll modify it. So yeah, the D&D Beyond did that thing where it automatically rolls the crit damage, but we do the thing where one of the die is a maximum damage. So it says 15, but that's actually 22 points of damage. That sounds good. I'll take that. Yeah. So you run at that trolling with your rapier, right?

Is that what you said? Yeah. And skewer the trolling, which trolling with your rapier, right? Is that what you said? Yeah. And skewer the trolling, which falls limp on your rapier. Just to flavor it a little, can I lift it up, swing it around and fling it off the ship? Oh, strong as a Gunther. Yeah, make a strength check.

Okay. That's a 17. That's not bad. Yeah, you're able to lift it up. It takes both hands, but you're able to pick the trolling up and flick it off of your rapier into the swirling whirlpool. We did nothing in this ship. And then Gunther wants to run and just throw,

he's throwing everything off the ship. He wants to run and go and do the same thing on that last remaining trolling. Charge at it. Yeah. And attack it. Okay. Yeah. Make your attack roll. 23. Yeah, that hits. Okay, and that's 12 damage.

Does it look like they're still alive? It seems like it's barely hanging on. All right, then I'm going to use a superiority dice to precision attack, and I'll add the superiority die to the roll. Oh, wait, no, sorry, that's not to the damage. I'm sorry. Oh, it's just to the attack? Yeah. I'm going to be honest with you, Chris.

I said it was barely hanging on so you could add damage? Yeah. I'm gonna be honest with you, Chris. I said it was barely hanging on so you could add damage or do whatever cool thing it was that you had in mind. It was actually dead. I was giving you an opportunity to do cool stuff. So generous. So yeah, it falls limp. Is that it for your turn, Gunther?

Yes, and now Gunther looks to captain, what's his name? Garbles or Giggle, what's his name? Garbles or giggle. What's his name? Grumbles? Not grumbles, but captain Toll. Ironclad? Oh. Ironclad? Yeah.

Captain Toll. Okay. What shall we do now? Oh, I'm the captain now, yeah. Oh! Wait, so all of the trolling's are dead, yeah? Yes. All the ones that boarded, yeah.

Okay, so we've like thoroughly embarrassed Ironclad with his boarding party of little silly boys I think we have to talk trash. So if you could all join me in mocking ironclad I think that that's the next best method of attack I don't think your mama's loved you enough and you're taking all these problems out on other people and you need to spend some time Introspectively dealing with your own problems. You don't make a lot of people's problems I think you're a motherless loser and you deserve all the bad things including uh paper cuts and splinters and stubbed toes. I think that you are stupid.

I think that you are stupid. Whoa! That's pretty. Micah just bleep out the word Barbara says so it sounds like it's a worse word than it was. Like a really long bleep. I think that you are stupid. Whoa! I thought that's quite the insult I

Am saying that I am iron glad you're over there because you look smelly Oh God, um, but now I own clad Elva. Do you have anything cool to say? Go ahead? Oh, yeah, you're a bad father You all are hurling all these insults at ironclad. And as you know, he's receiving them, it seems like he's just gripping tighter and tighter onto the wheel of his ship. Why? You realize why? Because all of a sudden,

your ship suddenly smashes into a solid seabed, jostling you all about. Everyone make a dexterity saving throw. Like we hit the floor. Yeah 15 20 I rolled a 7 plus I think 3 so 10 17 it's so startles you Natty that it knocks you off your feet and you just lose your footing and fall down onto the deck Of the ship. So I'm just like prone. Yeah, just like fall on your butt sitting down. Okay. Well, my butt is padded So I think I'm okay. Thank God.

No damage. Everyone make me a investigation check. Eight. Six. Thirteen. Fourteen. You all look around and you know everyone you can tell that it seems like you're on a solid seabed at the bottom of an ocean and it's like you're bordered by a cyclone column

of swirling water around and above. Toll and Doug, you're able to continue looking around and you see that on the seabed around you, it's carpeted by a myriad of shipwrecks, treasure and bones. Cool. It's like the end of a little mermaid. Yeah, when Ursula is all alone like.

Moses, is that you? Wrong place, wrong time, homie. So he's like shipwrecks, treasure. And bones. This might be where Ironclad like, this might be his spot. Like, do you think he planned this? I don't know. I don't know.

I mean, this spot does look familiar. Like, I think I got lost. I look at Ironclad. Is he distressed or does he feel like this is the norm? He has a big smile on his face. But like his ship is attached to ours. So like us being grounded, won't that also stop his ship? It sounds like he, this is his intention. Oh, okay.

His ship is also on the seabed as well, alongside yours. Always was a poopy driver. Look at us. Everyone make me a wisdom check. That's the one, so no. Five. Everyone make me a wisdom check. That's a one, so no. Five. Eight.

Come on, Doug. Nine. Wow. Hey, is that what you wanted, Gus? What did we learn with a nine? Do we see my hammer? What are we? This party's been better about intelligence and wisdom than previous campaigns, but it's still a weak point.

I have a plus three, but I just rolled low. Mud and Bart had wisdom to handle. It's just intelligence. We just, okay. Mud had wisdom to handle. Lasky'll walks over to you, Doug. They are looking around wide-eyed and says, I think this might be Nonimo.

That's where we were trying to go wasn't this could be the place it is very difficult to find I wonder why I'm glad would take us right here that's if he's been doing this on purpose he looks like he just might be crazy it's a we smiling cuz of the crazies good iron glad be the sea drinker no definitely not. Leskiel continues talking to you, Doug. The location of Nonyumo seems to change without rhyme or reason.

Those who've been here have never been heard from again. Some say it holds the secret to eternal life, while others say it's an unending vortex. Well, based on what I'm seeing, I think the never-ending vortex could be a little more accurate. But those legs and arms were still alive, even though they were dead.

NaNiMo was where we were trying to head to, right? Yes. And we were trying to head to where they might be keeping the Sea Drinker, which we thought was NaNiMo. Or did NaNiMo have information as to where the Sea Drinker was? You are under the impression

this is where the sea drinker is. Okay, thank you, Gus. Do we see anyone around here that looks like they might be, you know, thirsting for the sea? Ironclad looks a little parched. Can Natty get off the boat? Yeah, you can stand up and get off and go on the seabed. Ironclad would probably call out to toll at this point told an Elva and say what say you? Shall we work together and find the sea drinker or do you want to end this once and for all I?

Want you to eat my buds? I mean come on you think you go to work together a body body me and Elva hates you Although I'm kind of curious. Why do you want the sea drinker? Why wouldn't I? The sea drinker would be a powerful ally, but have it your way. Ironclad signals to his remaining trolling on his ship and they begin racing to one of the nearby shipwrecks.

Okay McDonald's, geez. No, that's not. That's Burger King. Okay BK, have it your way. We should go look for also the Sea Drinker. Yeah. Okay. It's like Gus's favorite game show, Amazing Race.

I know it's not Korean, but Doug also knows a little bit of Japanese and knows that nonimo means nothing. Oh, oh. Okay. That's a very, uh, if this place is anything like that words meaning it might mean this is just nothing. We'll have to find out. Okay, we have a map of where the Sea Drinker location is, right?

Now Laskill has a map. Laskill, where are they? Which means we have a map. Yeah. So Laskill has a map of the area and they know where Nonimo is. And that is presumably where the Sea Drinker is is just to be clear about what specific information is available Do we have any like freaky deaky magic things that could help us find it like the eye Gazer thing we got our own eyes. Let's go look. Okay. Yeah

Well, I have a question for 12 Do you at all know what the Sea Drinker is supposed to look like or like how they, you know, present themselves? Gus, do I? Because I know that Bjorn knew them and had some sort of relationship with them. Did I ever encounter them? Did that ever cross over into my whole... Make me a history check. You know, I majored in history at UT once. What? What do you mean, once? Once. I did. Yeah, and it's proven because I just got a nat 20. Thank you very much. Duh. in history at UT once. What? What do you mean, once? I didn't.

I did. Yeah, and it's proven because I just got a nat 20. Thank you very much. Duh. Okay, so I got into the college with a history major and then I switched a moment that they let me in. I was like, bye. You fooled them.

Yeah. I wrote a whole essay about how my dad's a history teacher and how I'm so passionate about history. Lies. how I'm so passionate about history lies. You feel like you've seen old relic art depicting the sea drinker and you think you could recall what those art pieces depict the sea drinker looking like? Oh my gosh you're so right it is a squid-like creature with tendrils on face period body made of vaulter period. That's from memory.

What if we told Ironclad that we do want to team up and then we do not and then we fight? Maybe we double cross? Yes. Oh, I'm just going to be lowering myself to his level if I do that. Elva, what do you think? Ironclad's out of communication range. Ironclad has booked it and taken off with the trolling and they are investigating a shipwreck. Okay, well in this situation,

we are the American gladiators. The contestants has the head start. Now it's our turn to beat their bums and to embarrass them because they have such a head start. So let's go gang. Cool. I hop off the ship. Gather follows.

So we're able to like easily explore this area because we're not underwater anymore that's like kind of cleared. Correct. It's almost like a small sandy island at the bottom of the sea that's bordered by the whirlpool. Like you're in the eye of it and imagine the eye goes from the surface of the ocean straight down to the bottom and you're at the bottom of this swirling whirlpool. And how big of a space is it like arena sized or like bigger? It's pretty big. You're looking around there's at least eight different shipwrecks you see down here. Gotcha. Wow, where do they seem to be heading? They're heading towards a half buried frigate that appears to be upside down

Does it have like a name on it or anything like that or is there anything that makes it stand out? Since it's upside down you can't see like where the name would be it's buried in the sand Okay, I mean I guess we could try to head them off. Let's go to our own ship. Do you think we're playing like gassy gassy? Like whoever? Yeah. Yeah? Okay. I thought that before I saw that Gustavo just rolled a dice to see which ship they go to.

Yeah, I saw that too. Such a board is really shmurred down here. I'm being serious. I thought that before I was like, they're probably gonna go look for one or we should go look for one. But then it was confirmed when I saw that. Okay. Really quick, Gus. What are the different ships?

What are what are our options you see a dinghy a raft a long boat a sloop a brigantine? A frigate which ironclad is going to a man-o-war and a ship of the line. We're really testing our nautical Knowledge here today. I learned there's actually that many names and types of boats Frigate man-o-, and Ship of the Line. Maybe the Manowar. Manowar is big, right? I have a differing opinion. And so maybe I could go check out my own boat while you guys go check that. I don't want to like stop you from going where you want to go.

I got stung by a Manowar when I was a child. I'm so sorry to hear that. It was awful. We got to do something. Nattie goes to the raft. We should split into two? Sure. I'll go with to hear that. It was awful. We got to do something. Natty goes to the raft. We should split into two? Sure. I'll go with Natty. Okay.

You and me, Gunther. We're going to the Manowar. Yes. Okay. I'm going to do Natty and Doug first because Natty said the raft. Remind me if I forget that you said Manowar. Blank. Okay.

If one of us discovers it, we do the secret whistle. Go ahead. Yeah, let's do it Gunther can't whistle Pursues lips and he gave up pretty quickly Maddie and Doug you make a beeline for the raft and as you approach it You can see that the raft is skewered by some kind of razor sharp coral Like a knife or anything like that? For what? To cut the coral off.

No, it's just stranded from that. What are you thinking that we gotta cut it free for? I thought it was like covering the entrance of the bay. It was like creating a like a bramble kind of a situation. Yeah, like a barrier. Yeah, is that what it is Gus? Like a barrier reef. No, it's just like through the middle.

You can work your way around it. Okay, we work our way around it. Is it a complex raft or is it like Huckleberry Finn raft? Let's say between the two. It's not just like a bunch of logs tied together, but it's not like a huge ship either. Think of like an emergency life raft, like an escape raft,

like you're getting off the Titanic kind of deal. Like a little bigger than Tom Hanks' raft in Castaway. There's no Wilson here. Bigger than a bread box. Then Nattie would like to investigate the raft. Me too. Yeah, both of you make a investigation check. Plus one.

18. 12. Just for fun, both of you roll me a 20-sided die. Oh. What's gonna come out of here? 16. I think he's gonna determine if you taint the endangered coral.

Nat 20. Nat 20. Do you pour sunscreen onto it? Nice. Hopefully it's good. Nat 20's gotta be good. It's always good Gus. For how many creatures come out of this thing in a tennis?

Oh no. 20. As you're, you know, kind of looking around and investigating, Natty, you see a poster that seems to be skewered by some of the coral that's flapping around in the wind. Okay, well I'll go look at the poster since you're bringing it up.

You pick it up and flip it over and it's a wanted poster. Oh, four. I'm going to slack you what it says. What does it say? Share with the class. Doug, as you're looking around, you see a skull on the raft and you kind of investigate a little bit.

You kick it over and it seems like it has one glowing gray socket. Can I make a request, John? Can John make a request? We haven't done this in a while, but I'm actually going to request this to happen. I wanna tell Doug what I'm seeing, but I don't wanna tell the other two.

So can you guys take your headphones off? Give us a thumbs up whenever you're done. Like mute it and take it off. I don't want you to hear a single thing I say. Okay. Hey, Doug, can you come over here real quick? Yeah, what am I seeing? I show Doug the poster and it has Gunther's face on it.

Oh my God. And it says reward 100 gold pieces, send word via Raven or bring to Skyblue Falls prison. It's like a wanted poster. 100 gold is a lot of gold. I want to clarify, it's actually a thousand gold pieces. A thousand, sorry, I misread that. It's a thousand. A thousand gold.

That's a lot of gold. I feel like we should maybe hold this information to ourselves for just a little bit. Not forever, just a little bit. Just until this episode comes out and they could actually listen to this conversation happening. Stop acting like Tove, okay? So, okay, so that's what's happening, okay? Okay, okay, I guess just like maybe fold it up

and pocket it or something like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, Natty does that. You can give them a thumbs up. Gunther, it seems like Natty and Doug are having a great time. They're talking very excitedly and laughing. I wonder what's happened. Guys, I found a skull. It's got like a glowing gray socket in it.

Steel eye? Does anyone recognize it? And I like hold it up to everybody. As you touch it and hold it up. No. You wonder if that was a good decision or a bad decision to share with them. Oh, okay.

Is there like an effect happening? You just have like a weird feeling, like that feeling in your gut and the pit of your stomach. Like maybe you should have kept it to yourself. Where are we? Are we, cause there, are you inside? We're running away to the manor. They're on a raft and then you two went to a different ship.

Yeah, I just figured I would like yell it out as you guys were heading out. Maybe the correspondence was picked up by Ironclad? Maybe. As you're showing off your skull to the group, a second floaty skull appears and tries to take a bite at you, Doug. Oh my god. It hits AC 16.

Could I use shield as a reaction? Absolutely. So an invisible barrier of magical force appears and protects you until the start of my next turn. I have a plus five bonus to my AC. So it not hit me. Okay. So yeah, it tries to bite. Arr, arr, arr, arr, arr, arr, arr.

It's just floating there, trying to chomp at you, Doug. Can I cast a fire bolt at it? Yeah. 25. That hits. That does. Ba-ba-ba-da. 13 points of fire damage.

Head shot. Nice. The skull catches fire and then falls to the ground. Ah! Before we move on from this, could I tell what kind of skull it is? Like if it's like a humanoid or like some other type of creature?

The one that tried to bite you? Both. They both appear humanoid. So like normal size, not huge or smaller or something? Yeah, medium size is what we would say. Well, I don't know if I should take this with me or not, but maybe just watch my back, Natty, and see if any other skulls are trying to munch on me.

I feel like it might be in your best interest to maybe drop that for the moment. Okay, I'll put it down. I just figured that it's kind of a coincidence that you picked up a skull and then got attacked by a skull. That's fair enough, but I got my eye on you. You put the skull back down on the ground, and then again, you're like,

man, maybe that's the wrong decision. This thing has me questioning a lot of things. Weird. I wonder if it like has some type of like mental effect. The skull of insecurity. Yeah. The skull of anxiety. Yeah.

Since I am a caster, could I maybe do some sort of check to see if I could tell if Doug is enchanted or cursed or something like that? Make an arcana check. Are you sure that's the right move, Natty? The skull questions you! That's what I'm playing in my head right now. 17.

Yeah, it seems like there's some kind of enchantment on this skull that Doug picked up. Okay. Doug, I believe you left the oven on at your home! You just see him frozen there in time. You have an oven, Doug. I'm going to, at this point, smash cut to Gunther and Tolf, who were on their way to the Mana War. I also want to keep an eye out for my Vorhammer.

It's lost. See? Make a dexterity check, Toad. Dexterity, okay. Is it going to return to my hand like I am Munch Thor? Ooh, a 19. You stub your toe and almost trip, but you catch yourself as your foot impacts your half-buried

Warhammer in the sand in front of the Manowar. There you are. I give it a kiss. I brush off the sand. Then I give it another kiss, and then I clean the sand in front of the man o' war there you are I give it a kiss and brush off the sand then I give it another kiss and then I clean the sand off of my lips and before you is a shipwrecked man o' war sitting at the bottom of the sea cool let us go in yeah you board the man o' war and you see that there are corpses all over the deck numerous corpses like what types of and what level of decay?

Both of you make investigation checks and I'll answer. Don't worry, I got this one. Ten. They have about two levels of decay on them. Jerk. That was good, that was good. A one and a ten, that was a Michael one. I can't steal this joke.

That was good. As you look to determine the amount of decay on the corpses you make a startling Realization all of these corpses have hooks for hands. Let's no wonder they've racked I mean dang that must have been hard to steal a ship with a bunch of hook cannons. Yes Is there anything else besides these corpses? Can we like comb the ship? Yeah, both of you roll me a d20 11 13 there's not much of note. Gunther, you find a small book and based on the title it seems to be about tying different kinds of sailor knots. Ornito. Oh that's a good one you should keep that.

Yeah I guess I'll keep it. And as you're putting that in your pack, I assume you're putting it in your pack, a flock of birds in circling overhead and they begin diving down pecking at the keepers still raging no you would not be raging anymore okay one of them manages to successfully slash at you with its talons of them and it does one point of slashing damage. Oh, it's like the kind of gross seagull I ran so far away See drinker are you here? No Have a tinderbox in a torch I want to light it up and then maybe we can miss direct ironclad Oh, yeah by acting like we're signaling for watch you should probably see if this actually is the sea drinkers on the ship or not

I guess they did this did anyone respond haven't even investigated the ship The seagulls circle and swoop again this time one of them hits toll doing one point of damage I love space age love song Getting into deeper cuts their second hit some may argue. That's even better than I ran Yeah, you got this yeah, yeah, yeah, can we go below deck where the seagulls are not yeah You descend into the belly of the man-of-war and I know all about this because I am a book on knots Because you said where the seagulls are not Because you said where the seagulls are not. It's a stretch.

It's a bit of a stretch. It's a stretch. It's a lot of track to way there, good there. Yeah, I know, I know. I did not get it. Okay. Hey, hey, we want, we want, we want Doug and Natty to take their headphones off to save yourselves from our jokes. With Amex Platinum, get access to an annual dining credit and exclusive dining experiences,

plus access to an annual travel credit and perks like 4pm late checkout at fine hotels and resorts. So going for your favorite food takes on a whole new meaning. That's the powerful backing of Amex. Terms and conditions apply. Learn more at amex.ca slash yamex. Almost. Well, you can't get a WellGroom lawn delivered, but you can get a chicken Parmesan delivered. A cabana? That's a no. But a banana?

That's a yes. A nice tan? Sorry, nope. But a box fan? Happily yes. A day of sunshine? No. A box of fine wines?

Yes. Uber Eats can definitely get you that. Get almost, almost anything delivered with Uber Eats. Order now. Alcohol in select markets. Product availability may vary by Regency app for details. So you said this would be the summer of you. But then you remembered?

You have kids, and now you spend every sunny day at water parks and petting zoos. So be it. We do the prep so you can get your you time back with freshly prepared, ready-for-you dishes from Sobeys. You descend into the hold and begin going down the stairs and then very quickly you're just met with sand. Like the bottom deck of the Man of War is submerged in sand. I hate sand.

It gets everywhere? Of course. It's everywhere. Is there anything like, is it just Sanders? There could be anything buried in it? Make an investigation check. All right, all right, that's a 10. That's a pretty good.

That's pretty good. As far as rolls go, I think that's a pretty good roll. That's pretty good. On a scale of one to 10, that's perfect. Ha ha ha ha! Is that true? I mean, he's not wrong? I like Blaine's over-enthusiastic laugh

helping to sell the joke like, yeah, this is good. I mean, on a scale from one to 10, it's not that bad. You hear some kind of rattling just below the surface of the sand, Gunther. Could I try and start digging where that rattling might come from?

Yeah, you begin digging and just below the surface, you see a chest and it seems to be rattling. Should I reopen it? I don't think the Sea Drinker is in there, but I am so curious and I know what they say about the cat, but I'm gonna take my warhammer to the lock of this chest and blast it open. Okay, and I'll prep and have my sword ready. Shield out. Good call. Good call. Okay, Toll of you bring your warhammer down and smash the chest open.

And as you do so, many gold coins come hopping out Jumping all over the place like when Sonic hits a spike Just out and about are they like animated or did they just spew out? Yeah, was this like spring-loaded? They're still hopping they're they're hopping away from you guys I think that this is like some sort of game, like trickery, like cursed coin. Can I try and grab one? Yeah, make a... Dexterity check.

Your greed, no, no. 15? You doomed us all. Yeah, you're able to snatch three of the gold coins and they're wiggling in your hand. They're funny. Get 47 more and you can get the next chaos emerald. I think we should go from here. This does not seem like Sea Drinker.

Okay. I will light up a torch though. And as loud as possible directed towards Ironclad's group. It would be like, Gang V found her. It is the Sea Drinker. She's in this ship, the man of war. Don't tell Ironclad. Do not tell Ironclad. He cannot know that this is the location of the Sea-Drinker!

As you begin signaling with the torch, two of those seagulls come down and slash you for a total of two points of damage total. No! The secret is to attack and defeat all the seagulls first and then the Sea-Drinker appears! Make a deception check toll. I think I'm gonna nail this one guys I Mean an 18 for good pretty good Natty and Doug Paul seems to be calling you guys over We didn't plan this so we're gonna head over there You didn't tell us that there's gonna be a fake out.

If we did not whistle. Natti and Doug you better head over to that manor I think Toll has found the sea drinker over there. I mean I guess we're gonna have to go around at some point so maybe we could just look at a ship on the way. If I did a wink would it make you guys not think that? I was just waiting for you to do anything that would tell us that this was a ruse, but you didn't. So I'm gonna play in the space and say we gotta head over there. I don't know, I feel like I would be able to tell though if he's purposely telling Ironclad to go over there. We know tall enough that he doesn't trust Ironclad, so... You both could make a vibe check if you want.

That's what I was gonna say, I think we have to let Dice decide. Yeah, yeah. I don't think we get to meta our way out of this. I've checked What's that again inside? I am of no help. I just rolled a 721 Okay, yes, Doug. You think told is being a little sneaky here. I think he's pulling all leg. He holds up the leg that he's still holding on to. That's the same thing with him on his shit. Get a lot of mileage out of that one. How many times do you get rid of that thing? Or Giggys gonna start chewing on it. Hey, it's comedy gold, daddy. Alright, I can get rid of this guy.

Or as it's unfunny, the school asks. Hahaha. You look around and Giggys got an arm in his mouth. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, so should we maybe check another boat? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let, so should we maybe check another boat? Yeah, yeah, yeah, let's check another one. All right. Well, before you do that, then I'm going to resolve Toll's trying to talk to Ironclad. Smart. So first, what I'm going to do is I'm going to make a

perception check to see if Ironclad hears you, Toll. He rolled an 18. So yeah, he would hear you, then he's going to do his own vibe check. Fail. AKA insight check. Fail. It's not great. Toll, you see Ironclad look up, look in your direction, and begin running towards the Manowar. He's so stupid. He's such an idiot. Let's go to another ship. I'm sorry.

He's just going to chase you now. Okay, can we sneak away? Can we try and sneak away? Yeah, both of you make stealth checks to see if you're able to sneak away. Like maybe we wait till, if we get on the other side of the ship and wait till Ironclad tries to enter and then we run that around.

Yeah. Okay, I'm at a deception for stealth. I rolled an 18. Disadvantage you mean? Disadvantage, you said deception. I'm so sorry, yeah, disadvantage. My brain is warped. 13.

14, not bad. That's pretty good. We'll get to the results of that as you try to sneak away after we deal with back to Doug and Maddie. Okay. All right, Doug, which what's what's your what's your what's your which one you want go to you? I would like to look at the long boat. That was very what's his name? The Looney Tunes pig. That's what that I sounded like. Which one you want to go to? The long boat Tunes pig. That's what that sounded like. Badee, badee, badee, badee, badee, badee, badee, badee, which one, which one you want to go to? The longboat.

I think that's a good, I like that one. Let's go to the longboat. It kind of reminds me of longbow. Oh, the longboat of triumph. Yes, exactly. You walk over to the longboat and it seems like the longboat is like intertwined and it's circled and grappled by a giant squid carcass. Isn't the

sea drinker supposed to be kind of like squid-like? Yeah, I don't know if this is a good sign or a bad sign. I know. Squid-faced. Squid-faced. Like squid like tendrils on the face. Yeah, like a kustulu-like with a water body. Gotcha. All right, can we investigate around here? Yeah, let's check out this boat. Both of you make investigation checks. 23. Woof. That's good, because I rolled a two. And then just for fun, both of you roll me D20s. Not bringing her on that skull anymore feels good. 19.

Five. Okay. This is why we're such a good team. Balance. Although maybe Gus is hoping that we need to both roll high. Maybe it's like a group thing. Maybe. I don't know.

Or maybe I'm just making you roll because I'm trying to make you think. Maybe, that's true. There's something going on. You both investigated, you both, both of both you rolls were pretty good as you're looking around on the longboat you find a single golden manacle with five links wait what a Manacle with five links as in just links of chain attached to it. Yeah, exactly So it's not attached to anything. It's just dangling with some like just loose and free Can I pick it up and look through it?

You keep picking up cursed stuff in this place. No! Wait, do you think I shouldn't? Is this gold still here? No, pick it up, pick it up, let's see. Yeah, you pick it up and it just seems to be like it's not plated. It's an actual solid gold manacle with five links on it. That's a fancy manacle for a fancy prisoner. Now that's what I'm wondering. Normally you don't invest that kind of money into holding somebody.

Does it seem like it's been like broken? No, all the chains are intact and if you had to estimate you'd say this is probably worth nine gold pieces. Can I take it? That's a natty I guess. Yeah I mean I don't care. Alright, I'm gonna pocket this guy. Not this guy, though. Not that guy. Hey, come back here! Are you trying to... I don't. The choice is yours.

So, Doug found the manacle, what? Like, on the... Is... A long... What's the construction of a longboat, Gustavo? What? Is that what you're asking? Well, like, is it like...

Are there levels to it? Is there a lower area? Is there, like... Where did we find this manacle? Oh, this is just out on the deck on top of the longboat. There does not appear to be any below deck area. Micah says it's long, which is very descriptive. Thank you, Micah. There you go.

Yeah, thank you. That's what I was thinking. Yep, that's what I wanted. Okay, well we've looked, we've found something. Nothing bad happened. You got some gold. I don't think we found the sea drinker. Can you think of anything else with your smart noggin?

I mean, I feel like we've seen all we can see over here. I guess we can just keep going. Both of you make perception checks. Uh, 19. 15. As you know, you two are trying to figure out your next move. You notice some rustling and some bits of cloth, and on the deck of the ship, it seems like two skeletons form out of cloth and rise. And they look at each other and begin chanting.

And they chant? It's in a language you don't understand. Are you sure about that? Is it a language that Gigi understands? Gigi's doing that thing that dogs do, where he like turns his head sideways? Yeah. And looking at them? No, Gigi is not sure what they're saying either.

Okay, well I say, howdy y'all what's up, dude? Do you understand what I'm saying? They don't seem to acknowledge you at all They're just looking at each other and they continue chatting. What if I hold up the gold man? No Reaction babies really to the manacle. Maybe it's not one of them begins raising its arms to skywalk. Okay, Nanny's gonna try parody and walk up to them and mimic what they're saying and mimic their motions. Could I also do, I don't know if it'd be like a history check or something, but do they seem to be doing the same pose as we saw on those mosaics we saw? Hey call that. Zodiac thing? Make it a

history check. Big roll, good roll, big roll, good roll. 18? Yeah! Wow, you think about it and it doesn't seem exactly the same. It doesn't seem to be like the same whatever that was. And as you're watching and thinking about it, clothes begin raining down from the sky. Clothes? Yeah, tunics and pants, pants. Okay, this is so confusing. I'm just, I'm just perplexed. Is there like a god of wardrobe or something like that? I don't know. The skeletons seem to dissipate and lose their form and they just fall back into piles of cloth on the deck of the ship. The man of wardrobe? Yeah, that's very good.

Different ship. We're too far away to hear bad jokes. Okay, is there anything notable about any of the clothes or just mundane clothes? Make an investigation check. I will, thank you very much. In case we got off on the wrong foot. Stop, stop, put it down, put it down.

Investigation 19. It just seems like mundane clothing and frankly, pretty drab. Okay, well, I mean, yeah. Everything compared to me is. Where would that have been coming from because it's just like That's just the sky above us, right? There's nothing floating above us. Oh, should we check the squid? I think you should as a gesture of goodwill

Why why is this a cursed episode why is this a Old discarded clothes, goodwill. Oh. There you go. I thought it was something related to the squid. And I was like, is that it? You're welcome. It's a thinker.

It's a thinker. I didn't get it either. OK, there you go. That's pretty good. OK, I'm going to go check out the squid. And then I'll stop wasting everybody's time with whatever this longboat story is. Yeah, make another investigation check.

Doug, help. I will too, we'll investigate. I feel like this squid might hold secrets. It's not wasting time. 15. 14. Okay. People are listening to this, they like this.

No, I know, but I feel like this, I feel like this boat is not a sea drinker boat. Oh. You mean the closed Skellingtons? Yeah, it just doesn't seem to me that this is where our God is. You begin, you know, looking around the giant squid carcass and as you're investigating it

and like lifting different pieces, you find a swarm of baby squid that come out and begin flopping around all around your feet, Natty. Oh my gosh. Hey, you like babies. I just had a thought, now I have to roll a dice. Oh no. I rolled an eight, Dig he starts eating one of them

That's my rule if I have an impulse thought of what giggy might do I have to roll for it baby squids flopping around and Clothes falling from the sky that equals what you look down at giggy while he's eating one of the squid You notice something shiny in the sand. Okay. This just keeps getting better. What is it? You lean over to get a closer look and it looks like a golden medallion of some kind. It's covered in dust. I would like to extend my aura out to check to see if this is bad. Your aura out, what does that mean?

It's kind of like, you know, same thing of like, is Doug cursed? I'm going to like feel the magic vibes. I see. Yeah, do an arcana check. Nat 20, 21. That's a good roll. It does appear that this medallion has some kind of enchantment on it.

You know what? When in Rome, I grab it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You grab it and as you pick it up, you see that it has some kind of cracked emblem on it. Yeah, what's that look like? A bullseye target. Ooh that sounds cool. Okay there's a bullseye target on a medallion that I'm holding in my hand. Is there anything else that has been like a target?

Like a bullseye imagery? I don't think so. Oh hey Doug since those two boys are over there maybe you could telepathically ask them if they know about that. It might be out of brain. Oh, okay. I think it's within 60 feet, but I might've used it up because I think it's one per long arrest. Okay, nevermind.

Also full disclosure, if you had telepathed into my brain, I would've started screaming and thought I was going mad. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. The medallion is like what? Like it would've been on like on a chain or something. I don't know, I pocket this was going mad. The medallion is like what? Like it would have been on like on a chain or something.

I don't know. I pocket this thing. Yeah. Okay. I pocket it. Golden bullseye medallion. Thank you. All right. We should let the other boys play.

Yeah. I'm going to cut over back to our other boys who are sneaking away from the man of war. Which ship do you want to go to? Or where do you want to go? I shouldn't railroad you like that. Where do you want to go? Where do you want to go to? Or where do you want to go? I shouldn't railroad you like that. Where do you want to go? Where do you want to do?

Did you pray to the Sea Drinker to see if you feel guided? Yeah, sure. Why not? Okay. Dear Sea Drinker, it's me Tov. Hey, good to talk to you again. Hope you've been well.

I'm looking for you right now. So if you can give me any sort of sign or anything cool like that. Yeah, bless up. Amen. Hehehehe. Make a religion check. Okay.

14. Close your eyes in prayer to the sea drinker. And when you open them, you feel like you see something sparkling over at the sloop. I think that we should go to sloop. I feel a calling there. Yes, okay. But we should sneak.

Teehee, teehee. Teeheehee. Yeah, okay. But we should sneak. Teehee teehee. Hehehehe. Yeah, you all did make your stealth checks and you did pretty good. Let's go snoop on the sloop. Nooo. Hehehehe. You snoop your way to the sloop and as you get closer, Toll, you see three rectangular

standing stones that are covered in starfish and the stones seem to be arranged like the letter Z or Zed depending on where you're from arranged in the letter Z like I'm trying to understand what that what's the standing stone? Yeah, like if you were looking like a top-down view, it looks like the letters Okay, and the standing so just like a stone that's seemingly planted in the ground, you know, it's got like vertical It's not just like a stone that's seemingly planted in the ground. You know, it's got like vertical, it's not just like a boulder. It's a tall stone. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm just checking.

And just to be clear, standing stones kind of like Stonehenge. Imagine that. Tall. Okay. Okay. So they're big old stones. I mean, yeah, they're kind of big, yeah. Does it look like the runes that are on my shield?

This might be a bit of a spritz. I mean, in a way, you know, you got like that less than and greater than. That kind of looks like it could be a Z Right. I mean, maybe upside down. Yeah, it's also hard to see because the stones are covered in starfish Where is this relative to the stoop or sloop? It's like inside of the sloop. Okay, like the sloop was crashed around it Okay, I'm gonna approach one of the starfish Yes, gently touch it in a friendly way. Like it's like, hello, just secret your friend. It's me, Torv, you-hoo.

Make a investigation check. Nine. You know, you reach out and, you know, touch your sea friend, the starfish. And as you do so, the central standing stone begins lowering into the sand, transforming into a descending stone staircase. Cool.

You touched the right starfish. We touched a lot of the wrong things over here. Gunther starts trying to go. Oh. Daddy, can you hear that? I think Gunanto has gas. I think he's hyperventilating. These are not my real lips.

I do not know how to whistle. You know what I mean? Could be trying to whistle. Should we go over there? Vibe check. I rolled a one. I pull out a coin and I try, is there any sunlight out or anything like that any light source or anything sure

Okay, this is like an actual like thing that you would do to signal for rescue or something I try to like reflect light in their direction to kind of get their attention But subtly in it from undercover so that iron clad doesn't see yeah a single beam of light descends down and striking the coin for just a moment. We have to be insulting about it, Gus. It's not insulting, it's pure luck. Your earlier prayer is still giving you boons. Awkwardly. There you go. Oh yes, yeah, we need that Doug Boons.

Yeah. Doug, I think they might've finally found something. You think? Maybe, maybe. You think? Maybe. Maybe. I don't know. Alright. I feel like we're getting close to the end of this episode so yeah. I did say I thought I heard them whistle but let's all ignore Doug. No I heard that. You're right. I heard that. But my vibe check was a one so I didn't think it was a whistle. But yeah let's go. I don't know it could just be a reflection off of something and just for fun.

Yeah let's go look at another boat. You hustle over after hearing that wonderful whistle and seeing that glint of light they both call you over and you see Tollv and Gunther standing on top of a descending staircase in these stones that are covered in starfish. So you two who just showed up, make me a perception check. 16. It was on a 13 and rolled over to a 1, so it's a 7. As you approach and begin walking up to your friend's natty, something catches your eye on the standing stone. Behind the starfish you can see what appear to be veins of a strange metal running through the stone. And it seems to be the same kind of metal you see

on Toll's metallic skeleton. Interesting. I pointed out to Toll, hey Toll, look, samezies. OMG, that's me. What the heck? I feel like we're on a good, we're on the right direction. Is this your mama?

Is rock? No. You are made from inorganic material. I mean, do I even have a mother and a father? Who am I? What's my name? But you continue descending? Yeah.

Can Toll lead? Yes. What is the marching order here, just so I know? The boys can go first. I would think we'd be in the back. Okay, so I'm just going to say Toll, Gunther, Doug, Natty. Yeah. And private pods.

And a bunch of NPCs we don't need to worry about. And Grubbles. And the last few. They're in the middle there. And Va. As you all descend, Natty, the stairs behind you rise and retract back up into the ground, hiding the staircase as you begin your descent.

That's handy. I hope we don't need out. You descend and you find yourself in a large circular stone room that have veins of metal with steam wafting up through cracks in the floor. As you are looking around trying to get your bearings, you hear a guttural roar that seems to rumble the room and the stone floor begins cracking

and spewing lava everywhere. Is this the end of our party? Will they succumb to the magma? Liquid hot magma? Find out on the next episode. In the next roll. No, because we're gonna keep going, right? Let's hear it from the stinky dragon. No, no!

You can't do it like this! I attack the lava. I rolled an 11. No! Your weapon melts and becomes lava. Oh. Toll descends into the lava and as he goes down a single arm raises up and then the thumb protrudes from his hand

Gunther we can recreate episode one. Didn't you die? Premonition of this is the prophecy going to come true find out in the next episode of tales from the stinky dragon All of our jokes? No that's not it. No no no. It's Christmas in July which means we have a new Gunther's Quest shirt at store.stinkydragapod.com and if you bundle it with three Chris character shirts, Gum Gum, Barney, or Gunther, you get 15% off. And thanks to Chris, anyone who uses the code CHRISTMAS, which is C-H-R-3-S-M-A-S, gets 3% off their entire order. But hurry, these deals are only available for, well, the rest of July.

And don't worry, the Chris character T-bundle discounts are auto applied at checkout for any applicable purchase. In each store, checkout is limited to one discount offer. Head over to store.stinkydragonpod.com and pick up some Chris stuff to celebrate Christmas. New episodes of Tales from the Stinky Dragon premiere every other Wednesday, wherever you stream podcasts and on the Stinky Dragon YouTube channel. Want to listen to the show 48 hours early and ad free? You can support us on either platform, become a patron at stinkydragonpod.com or join as a member on beacon.tv. Both give

you early ad free access and a member only Beacon.tv. Both give you early ad-free access and a member-only Discord for each platform. If you're looking for even more stinky content and community perks, our Patreon offers exclusive bonus shows, behind-the-scenes content, access to the Stinky Dragon Discord, members-only livestreams, stinky community events, and a shoutout on the show. Just like Secretly Waldo, Frosty Error, Muter6Main, Jermose, and AutumnFerret3. These patrons direct support the show and get ad-free episodes,

access to our Patreon-only Discord server, bonus content like Second Wind behind the screen, and other stinky perks. Here's a quick peek from the latest episode of Second Wind. I want to commend you, Mike. I think that was a super cool visual, a super cool idea for a way to approach like a big imposing boat.

It's like it's multiple boats hooked up together. And I thought that was a super cool idea for a way to approach like a big imposing boat is like it's multiple boats hooked up together. And I thought that was a really cool idea. Thank you. I went through a couple of iterations of like, should they be stacked on top of each other? Should they be like all just next to each other, like connected, not even just via like gang planks, but just all like sharing the same hole. Should there be like,

should it be an iceberg situation where they're below, you know, it's like. The other ships were also fully built out like this one was. And the episode just didn't take you there. You just didn't go and that's fine. That's what happens in D&D. But it's like all of them were unique and had tons of different traits and features.

And like, oh, it was going to be really cool if there had been a lot of movement between the three of them. And it's fine that we stayed on the blindfold, but it's like, oh, there was so much more that we could have really dug into here. You had like a whole different system for battling, right? Well, yeah, kind of.

I use like stat, I found stat blocks for actual ships and which was probably a bit much, but I think if I were to do it, we would just need to like do a tavern tail or something, or just like a live stream of us just playing with boats, like actually battleship almost, just like do that. And because there are systems out there that are for like war versus like hand to hand combat

kind of thing, like big scale stuff. And I feel like that's probably the better mechanic, but it's still more fun to be like, you're in the cinematic moment of swinging on, you know, a line across the ship's bow or something. I'm somewhat sad that we didn't get to see more of the Dockmaster. Yeah, maybe we'll come come back to the Dockmaster and its various accoutrements. One of these days, we'll get that Navy battle.

Once again, that's StickyDragonPod.com. We're incredibly grateful for your support, which makes this show possible. Get that Navy battle. Now the last scale named after AlexB007 voiced by Chad James, at Chad James RT from Death Battle, and Yarol Ironclad voiced by Adam Ellis at adam.e.ellis. This week's Arrow Question was submitted by The Silent Taco. This episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon was produced by Ben Ernst, written, edited, and composed by Michael Reisinger with additional editing work by Catherine Arnold and David Sainier. Tune in next time for another thrilling episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon. ["Tales from the Stinky Dragon"] Troll.

Yeah, troll. Like a T-R-A-W-L. Is it? Oh, is it spelled T-R-O-L-L? I don't know. You're making me question it now. I, yeah, now I have too. I've never written it down. Trolling T-R-O-L-L? I don't know. You're making me question it now. I, yeah, now I am too. I've never written it down.

Trolling T-R-O-L-L. Oh, but there are also fishing trawlers, T-R-A-W-L. That's what I was saying. It's both. But what's the T-R-O-L-L you're referring to? Same. Oh, why? Why same?

What? They're the same. English is dumb. That's why I speak Korean. We're switching to Korean. Thank you, Doug. same. English is dumb. That's why I speak Korean. We're switching to Korean. All right everyone welcome back to the Dugs on the ones and twos equals threes. I know you missed me. It's been a while. I think Doug loses track of time sometimes. you know, sometimes he does the show, sometimes he doesn't. This week we're joined by Natty Wonders. Hey Doug!

Natty, welcome to the show. Is this your first time on the Dougs and the Ones and Twos Equals Threes? I think this might be like my second time. I'm not quite sure. I, you know, I listen so often. I forget, you know, when I, when I've been able to participate. Just a big fan, just a big fan. Wow.

Thank you so much. You are probably one of our five listeners that we have on this show, which is four more than Doug was expecting because Doug also listens to his own radio show every other day. What sort of radio show do you like this to be? Is it just for call-ins and advice? Do you play music?

Or is this something where like you got like trivia or something like that? You know, Natty, that's a great question. Doug has not fleshed it out quite yet. So far it's just been a little bit of banter for about 30 seconds while everyone goes to urinate. Well, how about I'll facilitate and ask a question. How about a question you give advice?

Oh, I love that. OK, so I have a little baby boy and he's got a big job to do someday and I want to get him prepared for that job. The job being of course ending the world and bringing about the next timeline and the new age. Of course. How do I teach him how to destroy the world but also not put too much pressure on him? Because you know parents that put too much pressure on their kids, those kids just end up being screwed up. And that's all the time we have today ladies and gentlemen. Thank you so much for listening to Tugs on the W- we'll address that question when Doug has had time to ruminate and read a couple books on the meaning of life.