Tales from the Stinky Dragon - C03 - Ep. 24 - Brig of Endridge Bay - Nonymo Money Nonymo Problems

Episode Date: August 20, 2025

B-Team struggles as they are stuck between a Volcanaconda rock and an Ironklad hard place. Support us directly on Patreon https://www.patreon.com/stinkydragon - get access to ad-free episodes, bonus content like Stinky Dragon Adventures & Second Wind, our patreon-exclusive discord, and more! Check out our new Gunther merch at store.stinkydragonpod.com ! Follow us on our socials at https://linktr.ee/TalesFromTheStinkyDragon Cast: Gus Sorola, Blaine Gibson, Barbara Dunkelman, Jon Risinger, Chris Demarais Writer/Editor/Composer: Micah Risinger Producer: Benjamin Ernst Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hey there, Critters. This year marks our 10-year anniversary of Critical Role, and we are partnering with Fathom Entertainment to bring our 2025 tour to movie theaters across the U.S. and Canada. Head to theater to see The Wedding of the Year coming to theaters on October 15th with an iconic jester and Ford Wedding at our New York City Live Show. Visit fathomentertainment.com slash Critical Role to find tickets in theaters near you. That's fathomentertainment.com slash critical role. Afternoon, all you own alofte,

Afternoon, all you orn aloft, teleport into the stinky dragon and sip on our latest libation. your Sunday pestilence. It's a mixture of feeble-mind flowers, globe of invulnerable tea leaves, water turned to blood and a sickening sneeze. One nip of this nauseating nectar is enough to make you wash your hands for at least 20 seconds. Previously our adventures lumbered into a labyrinth of lava. They uncovered an astronomical atlas, felt feelings, messed with mirrors and parted ways as a party. Now they perhaps found a puny prisoner whilst toll tussles with a scorching serpent. Pour yourself a quotation and let's perceive with this pungent potboiler.

Hello, everyone. Welcome to Tales from the Stinky Dragon. I'm your Dungeon Master Gustavo Sorolla, and I'm going to get our four players on Arrow. Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Hey, Gus, how are you today? Stab, stab, stab. I'm not even going to shoot it from a bow. I'm going to, like, Legola style it. Melee, up close.

Oh, it's so cool. Cool. This week, is that, does that even work? Is that even really, like, feasible? Yeah, you just have to be, yeah. Yeah, Chris is an extra, Gus. Just, just like, yeah. Gus, you know how we test out our D&D concepts in live action?

We should, you want to try that? I think we should. I think it would be, it's a good one to try. All right, Chris, you're up. All right. Well, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll get the arrow. Blaine, you can be the...

No, no, no. Hey, this week's melee arrow question is, if your character was on death row, what would they ask for their last meal? That was submitted by Joseph Dufour, Black Knight, Blacks Knight, something like that. I'm 20. I rolled 20, so I'll go first.

You're actually, like, close to 40. I also rolled a 20. Ooh. Roll off. I rolled a 20 as well. Oh, three-way roll off. What the heck? I mean, two, three.

So Barbara, Chris, John Blaine. I like how Chris rolled the 20. I was so confident, like, I'm going to go first. Then there was a three-way tie for 20. Three-way tie. Which means we're not going to get any 20s the rest of today's session. And then Blaine's here too. Barbara, why don't you lead us off?

You got it, Gus. Anything for you, bud. I am Barbara Dunkelman and I play Doug Boone, the Bugbear Artifisher, Battlesmith, Artifister to be more in particular. I don't know if I ever really talk about my subclass a lot. We haven't seen Gambon a little bit. It's true. He's been, he's been chilling.

But, you know, I don't like to think about death very often, Gush, but if I was on Desmond, I had one more meal to eat, I would have a dish of pufflefish. Ooh. Because pufflefish is actually deadly if you eat it, if it's not cooked properly, or a certain way, I believe. And so, you know, if I'm already going to die. You might as well go out trying something that you'll never otherwise get to try them. Okay.

You may as well try it because there's no downside. Exactly. I was waiting for the reasoning. I was like, I don't understand why this, but that, yeah, I get it. You might as well try something, absolutely. Maybe that'll kill you faster than whatever they're going to do to, you know, kill you on death row. So it might be more pleasant. I think it's pretty painful.

The course of cyanide, please. I feel like any death that. comes from a gastrointestinal experience has to be painful, Barbara. I think it's a neurotoxin. Yeah. Oh. Which is like even worse somehow. Maybe it's numb.

Maybe. We'll test that after we test the arrow thing. All right, cool. It might be the most delicious thing you ever tried, but you would never know because you're not allowed to. Oh, I like that. You know how they have those like VR places and it's like a virtual reality experience? I'm imagining John opening a restaurant

called a gastrointestinal experience. I don't know why that just sound like a marketing slang. It would just be titled John's gastrointestinal experience. That's what to be titled. We'll call it G.I. John. Thanks, Barbara.

Appreciate that. And next up, I think, was John. Was G.I. John? Nope. It was Chris. Oh, was it Chris? It's G.I. Chris. Hi. I'm Chris de Maris. And I play Gunther, the Crook Folk Fighter.

And if it was my last meal, if this was on the menu, I would ask only for one final kiss from my wife. Oh. But if that is not available on the menu, then I would ask for an appetizer of buffafly wings with the main course of a stirfly. Oh. Nice, nice, nice. And then grass hopsicles for dessert. You know, I think I would take that over the kiss, personally. The prison guard says, we're fresh out of your wife's kisses, but mine will have to do.

Lynn Murrah, Pearson. All right, that's a, it's a very thoughtful, full course you got there, Gunther. You have to take advantage of it. Okay. You get the yumiest, most delicious meal ever. You did your last. Is it just me or does Chris always say, the most creepiest things during our campaign.

What was that? What was creepy about that? To take advantage of it. If I'm saying back to you, do you hear it now, Chris? You hear it now, Chris? Anyway, John, you're off. What are you going to take advantage of John? Come and find me.

It's okay. Yeah. Hi, my name is John Reisinger and I play Natty Wonder, who is a drow warlock drag queen. And if I was on death row and I was getting ready to say good night forever, honestly, I would be just so excited because that means I'm on my way to see my wife for forever. So I kind of think I'd be impatient and just ask for maybe a handful of like almonds and just kind of like pop them back. just be like, all right, let's go. Let's get this party started. It's like an in-flight meal. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Just something to tide me over. You know, I don't need much. Do you want them warm at least? Warm? Like warm nuts? Don't knock until they try it. Okay. I've never had, I mean, I've had, actually, I have, if you go to Buckees, they're like covered in like sugary stuff.

They're good. They've got those honey roast. Yeah. It's okay. They have them under heat lamps. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, I'm a Buckees fan. In fact, I get to go to Buckees in about a months. I'm excited about that. What an opportunity. That should be your last meal. Bucky's take a while.

That smell permeates too throughout the whole store. It like draws you in. I feel like a cartoon character when I walk in like I'm floating and my nose is pulling me carrying me to the warm roasted nuts. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Anyways. Yeah, if it wasn't, if it wasn't almonds, I'd ask for Buckees.

I'm Maddie Wondering. I love Buckees. Sponsor us. Yeah. All right. Thanks, Daddy. That's good to know. And next up, we've got Blaine. Hello, it's me, Blaine Gibson, and I play Toll.

You-hoo. It's me Tov. And I am a male or thomotech-barbarian level. Someone should get on that, and it's probably me. Yeah. I don't know. Why were you wagging your finger? Let's talk about last meal.

So, as a thaumetech, I do not need. to eat. It's not part of my, you know, what drives me my fuel, being a robot and all. However, I would ask for oysters. And my reasons are thus. One,

I could potentially find a pearl in one of the oysters and I could use this to bribe the guard into letting me leave because oysters are quite precious. And two, I could break the shell of the oyster and either fashion it into a lockpick

or a prison shiv and I can stab the guard in the throat if he does not like the pearl. Yeah. So oysters, that would be my answer. I do like the idea that they're bringing you just like full unshucked oysters for you to have as your last meal.

It's like, oh, there could be a pearl in there. Just like I like them. I'm going to take advantage of these. You also need a shucker to open them up so they give you essentially a knife. It's full proof. Yeah. My favorite part is picturing trying to use

an oyster shell as a lock pick and just thinking about it, just snapping. The second you put some torque on it. You don't use an oyster shell for a lock pick. You use a candle stick holder for a lock pick. Oh, right, right, right. Silly meeky. Silly boy. Canonically. Canonically. That's what you do.

Yeah. And you sing a little limerick that we all know what a limerick is. I like that. That is just cemented in you, Barb. I didn't remember that until you brought it up. Yep. Have you looked up yet what a limerick is? Nope.

That's exactly what I did. Why don't we talk about limericks in second wind, okay? Yeah. It's more than a city in Ireland. As you begin looking, you feel the entire room once again start shaking. Very similar to when you all first entered the first room in this building. And you look around and you see the lava pool below, you start bubbling. And out from it burst a redwood size, heavy-bodied, constricted.

snake that appears to be made entirely out of lava. Got an obsidian tip tail and white hot fangs. It looks around the room and its head darts around and it locks eyes directly with Utoe. It opens its gaping maw and lunges at you. The large leviathan of lava lunges out of the pool high into the air. Its magmatic maw opens wide to engulf you, Toll, and like the snap of a finger, darkness swallows you whole.

A single light glints just behind your nose. Something like jewelry or a gemstone. And then you hear it again. It's that flute. It's playing a bittersweet melody. So you can hear my flute. Fascinating. I wasn't sure if that would work.

You weren't in the middle of anything pressing, were you? Oh, you know, I was just about to get eaten by a big lava smarch, but other than that, not much going on. Skatz is pretty clear. Your vision widens a bit more, and the gemline, Glint reveals itself to be a floating crystal flute. Your vision shifts focus to a draconic figure behind the flute. The first thing you notice are his striking amber eyes accented by full moon spectacles

on the bridge of his nose. As much as time truly isn't a factor for me, it is for you, so I suppose we should be quick about this. I know who you are, obviously, but we've never been properly introduced. Maestro pharynx. Meestro fairlings? Felipe. I'm going to write that down.

I'm going to write that down, Maestro. He tips his cap and you see draconic horns protruding through the brim. The floating crystal flute continues piping its tune and dancing around you and the Maestro's head. For reasons beyond me, your head seems to be in a few places at once. A rare gift, I must say, I believe your companions share this trait as well. With a loud crack, the wall behind you begins to splinter like glass and the flute's melody lips slightly. Oh, sorry. That's my fault. Focus on my flute, if you will. And I'll try to stay more on point here.

There will come a time soon when you and your companions will be asked to go to Hira. You've heard of Hira, yes? Uh, yeah. I'm kind of aware of it. Yeah, sure. When that moment comes, when it arrives, you should go. Go to Hira. Understand? And go to Hira. Crack. The wall to your left fractures, and Faring's smirk fades to a wince for a moment. Stay with me, friends. Stay with me.

There's someone in Hira that shouldn't be there. You and your friends have been adept at finding folks that aren't who they seem to be. And with a crack, the wall to your right fissures, and the room trembles. Farrangis catches you by the shoulder. His orange fingers gently steady you. This last part's important, and at one point, it will see. seem like you are outnumbered, outmatched, but that's not true. You have friends, more than ones you already know.

You'll need to find them too. Find all of your friends, Blaine. I mean, I mean, toll. Crash, the fourth wall breaks and reality shatters into pieces. Your stomach lurches, vertigo takes over. Gravity, unable to find an anchor, existence out of balance. Consciousness swirls into the void and splash. A large Leviathan of lava lunges out of the pool high into the air.

It's magmatic mob opens wide to engulf you, Toll. You have but seconds to react. What do you do, Toll? What do you do? Oh my gosh, the speed. Let me see. Pop quiz, Tov. Pop quiz, I'm not shot.

I know that reference now. I'm going to, I have these things called Tick. Does it seem smart? Could it understand me? Make a nature check. Nature check. This is a nature check to be clear. while it's launching at you with its mouth.

Yeah, I know, but I get to see its brains. 14. You think that there is a cunning knowledge behind its eyes. Wait! Don't eat me. And this isn't me pleading for my life, but this is just me wanting to make a friend. Can we talk real quick?

And if it doesn't go the way you want, I promise you I will give you some sort of nourishment that I think you'll enjoy. Make a persuasion. check at disadvantage. Uh-oh. Make it this hard. Looks like today's your lucky day, Gus, because I got a three.

And, uh, 18, oh, no, no, no, 20, but that, uh, you take the three. This isn't gonna go well. I, I will say it will, uh, it will stop. It'll close its maw, then splash back down into the lava, circle inside the lava, begin, like, making the laps in the lava pool, look up to you and say, What could you possibly have that I would want? Well, just kind of taking a look at this area. Are you trapped here by chance?

Are you here held against your will? No. Oh, this is your home and I'm intruding here, Craig. Very great. So convincing. This is going so well for you, Blaine. This is going so well. What kind of things do you enjoy eating?

Just out of curiosity. You. Yeah. Thormatex. Tharmatex. Great, great, great. Well, as you can see from my skin, I am an orc. That was kind of a joke.

I'm sorry. I'll re-take that. I have been known to say yes to new pleasures. Perhaps ice cream. Ice cream. Okay. Now we're getting somewhere. I don't have ice cream.

But I bet I could find you some. Would that interest you? Because I think that that would taste a lot better than what I taste like. Because I've been traveling for a while. I haven't showered. I'm quite pungent. You don't want any of this. Trust me. Like bad pungent. I'm told, by the way. What is your name? I am the Volcanaconda. Volcanaconda is the coolest name I've ever heard, Volcano. You don't want none unless you got buns on?

I was thinking the same thing. Flasserie will get you everywhere, my friend. Okay, here's the thing. I know of a big stinky poopie pants, and I think he would be a delicious, delectable snack for you, and he has a whole troop of... Were they demongrels?

What were the guys that were with ironclad? They're like goblins or... They were like... Like smaller versions of something? Grimblings, grumblings, grumblings. Go on John, hit me with them notes. Go on, John. I like this.

You like them trying to figure out the name of a... Trollings. Trollings. There you go. Sampson, I was way on it. There you go. Inspiration die. You get it.

Barred with their hand out, strength. I love in moments like that is it gives me a moment to take a bite of mine crustable. Okay, yes, trollings. Okay, so Volcaniconda, cool name. What have you and I teamed up and we found this real bad dude name Ironclad and his troop of trollings and we could go after them together and they could be your delicious, delicious snack? How does that sound instead, huh?

And what flavor are these trollings? I was gonna say, what are those things called trollies? I would say, like, probably, like, sweet and sour, you know? I'm just taking a guess. I've never had a trolling myself, but I'm imagining that they're gonna take a lot, taste a lot better than I will. Because I'm, I am, you don't want this. There's no nutrients to be had from this, the disgusting husk of a body. Look at me.

Oh. Perhaps. And what's the down payment? down payment I'm so glad you asked I mean you said you like ice cream is there any other things that you enjoy eating is there any sort of like

meats or metals or vood or anything like that you're really fixation on food aren't you I mean you seem hungry I'm just trying to do what this is your domain I walked into your house so I know I'm just trying to give gifts

so that you don't eat me because you don't want that. I don't think neither of us are going to benefit from you eating me. Let's be real. Not all eating is for hunger. Oh, you're bored. Well, that's just a bad habit. Let's talk. Let's talk about that. Let's get to the roots of that problem. Anxiety eating. Bordom eating. Let's what's something else that would bring you more joy and entertainment than eating out of boredom? Maybe she wants some puffle fish. Get out of your dog. Something new.

Something unusual, something I've not experienced before. Okay, man, I am at a loss here. I'm trying to think of... Dick through your inventory. I'm looking through it right now. Okay, okay, I got something. I have the perfect thing. It's going to be a fragrance.

Ice cream? It's not ice cream, not yet, but it's a fragrance. and I think you're going to like it. Do you like a nice smells, huh? Never been to the bath in BaltiVirks? Oh! Yeah, okay, all right, cool. You're open-minded to this, I like this.

All right, so look at my hand, all right? And then you're going to smell a puff and you're going to really enjoy this. Last episode, I acquired something called the mittens of mushrooms, or the mitten of mushrooms. It's a mushroom-covered thaumetech glove. It smells musty, spongy texture, glows near fungus. Making a fist releases a fungal spray 15 feet cone. There's a save on it. On failure, Target, unable to form short-term memories for 1D4 turns.

Okay. I like this. I like this. And then on a success, Target loses current train of thought. This is good. This is good. I like this idea. Just real fast, before we get the ball rolling on that,

make me a deception check, since you don't actually have something yummy in there for Volcaniconda. I mean, you know, maybe I'm not lying. Maybe there is something to be had here. I can't not hear that song now when you say a Volcaniconda. Yeah. Don't want none unless you've got fun, huh? The actual line is the Anaconda, don't want that.

Uh, 11. Okay, the Volcanaconda eyes you and eyes your hand suspiciously, and she pulls her head up high above the lava fountain, getting close, inching closer and closer to you told. It seems like her giant head and her nose slowly approaching your outstretched feet. fist. Okay. And then I say, now enjoy this, and I squeeze my fist, and I direct the fungal spray at the Volcaniconda. Okay, and it looks like it's a DC-13 Constitution State. Is that correct? Correct. Constitution on the Volcaniconda is plus one, so I need a 12 or better on this. Ooh, that's a 14. Oh, 15. On a success, Target loses current train of thought. A small puff of mist and spores released from the mitten of mushrooms and enter the Volcanaconda's sensitive nose

and Volcaniconda blinks a couple of times. Looks around and narrows her eyes at you. It's nice, right? That's cool. Okay. So what I was saying is, if we go after Ironclad and those trollings, we're going to fill that belly right up and you're going to have a great time doing it because they're going to scream and kick and fight and we're going to have a blast. Okay, Volcaniconda? That's what we agreed on, right? I'm assuming you with that deception roll. One more, not a disadvantage or anything this time, just a straight deception roll. Yes!

Nat 20. Thank you, yes. Uh, yes. Agreement. Mm-hmm. And where were these beings again? I think I saw them by the frigates, but I'm pretty sure that they're closer by. They're on the move, too.

Have you heard of the sea drinker? That seems to catch the Volcanaconda's attention a little bit. Yes. In Volcaniconda, what do we think of the sea drinker, just between you and me, like, what's your opinions? She cool, she not, what's the vibe? Worthless. Worthless. Totally agree.

Oh my gosh, right? So anyways, I think Ironclad should be chasing after you. You're the bigger fish here. Okay. So I think we should cut him off of the knees. We should go for Ironclad. I think that'll be very fun. Okay.

A deal is a deal. And then with that, the Volcano kind of dives back into the lava pit below. Tolv collapses onto the ground. He doesn't have lungs, but he's heaving his breath going, oh, my God, I'm just so close. Thank you, new glove. And then I kiss my glove, and I go, where am I? We'll do a quick scene change here to the others. Check in with them, and then we'll come back to you here, Toll.

I assume we don't hear or see any of this happening, right? No. Okay. So Natty and Doug, you all were on your way to the mirror that Gunther called from? Yes. Yeah. You approached the mirror and then do you cross in? I would stick just like my lips in the mirror and go,

Is it safe for now? You good? I like that part of Stargate, where they just put their lips to the Stargate to see if it was safe on the other side. Motee Gov is used? I don't know. Doug, can you hear through your lips? That's a good point. I would think Doug could feel the vibrations of his voice

and be able to decipher what he's saying. Maybe if you kiss in Morse code. I'm married, no thank you. I stick my head in so I could see Gunther. Okay. I don't remember how far I had traveled. Is I even visible to the mirror at this point? You were still close to the mirror because you had just gone through

and then you didn't proceed any further. Okay. I don't know if it is safe or not, but there is a lava cage with a... Something in it. Okay. Well, I mean, you look to be intact. You know, like, no, you're not like a 2D version of yourself.

We'll have, like, different body parts coming out of other different body parts. Not yet. So, I'm going to come in. And Natty, you want to, are you coming with us? Yeah. You cross through and you feel sweltering heat and you see a straight hallway. There's a marble floor with a chalk outline bordering walls throughout. There's two alcoves halfway down the hallway.

And at the end of the hallway, there's an arrow shape, like it's a little bit. alcove there, two more alcoves that are our shape. And there's a cubed cage at the arrow's point. And the cage appears to be made of boiling lava. Like lava that is holding a shape, but still flowing. Yes. Okay. And if it's a cage, I would assume, yeah, there's visible holes in it that we can see

if there's something inside of it. Any being in there? It does appear like there is a prisoner inside of the cave. Do we recognize the prisoner? Yeah. It's kind of far from here. You can just see that there is a small being in there. You can't really make out any further.

detail. Okay. Approach. Yeah. As we're approaching, can Natty just like, I don't want to walk by these other alcoves? You said there were alcoves before you got to the arrow, like just willy-nilly. So can Natty do some sort of like just making sure we're not walking by like a trip wire or anything that's waiting for us in these little alcoves? Yeah, make an investigation check. It's a cheeky little 14 plus 1.15. You come to the alcoves. Like I said, as you're walking down, there's one to your left. and one to your right. You look to both sides, and there are metal bookcases at the end on either side on both of these alcoves. And it seems like that's it in each alcove.

Empty bookcases or filled bookcases? It seems like they've been picked over. There are things on them, but they're kind of a mess at the moment. Okay. So this is more of a decorative architectural alcove where you would put your comic books. Got it. I think I would like to go investigate the bookshelf. Go for it. Sure. Do you have a preference which one you go to first? your left or your right. Yeah, you go up there and begin poking around, make an investigation check for me, Doug.

Oof, nine. You kind of pick through it, and most of the things have been pulled off and just scattered around, not only on the shelves, but on the floor in front of it. But as you're looking around, you do find a spell scroll.

Fine. Take it up and see what it is. Yeah, you pick it up and make me, let's call it an arcana check. 11. It appears to be a spell scroll of Gatius Fliq. You can turn into gas.

Oh. Yeah, basically you can like pass through some stuff. Okay. Could I put that in my inventory? Yes. I assume it'll have the details when I added, but how long is it usually good for? Duration is one hour. Okay.

Thank you. And you can transform a willing creature you touch along with everything it's wearing, carrying, into a misty cloud for the duration. So after you pocket that, you want to go to the other one, right? Yes, please. And then I would like to look over. the shelf here? Make me an investigation check.

Something better, please. Ugh, man, I rolled an eight. This bookcase is in a very similar fashion to the other one where it's been ransacked, maybe for lack of a better word, and picked over. And there's really nothing that stands out to you too much. You do see one unusual item. You see a heavy-duty drill, like a big heavy-duty drill on the floor in front of the bookcase. What I recognize what this might be used for, typically?

you're a battlesmith and artificer, you know that this kind of drill could be used to drill holes through stone. You know, there's nothing special about it. It's a drill. It's, you know, decent quality. And given time, it can drill through stone, but it seems like that's what it's used for.

Okay. Could I take it? Yeah, absolutely. There's also a 2004 copy of the movie Dodge Ball on DVD. Did you just look up what movie, what the year that came out? Maybe. What's the dumbest DVD movie that everybody owned?

So Doug is finishing up in the Alcoast. I'm about to deal with Natty investigating the cage. But Gunther, where are you standing while this is going on? I was going to the cage too. Okay, so you both are up at the cage. Howdy. We are going to see if we recognize the person. Nanny doesn't wait to see if she recognized.

She says how. Well, I mean, as we walk up. It's a pretty big cage and it has like a 3D lattice structure of lava. It's pretty beefy. And inside, yeah, you do see a prisoner laying pronoun. the floor and so Natty you call out howdy and you get no response. The prisoner laying on the floor are they human like what shape? It's a small prisoner. Natty I would say it's the size of your hand and it appears to be a squid-like

creature made of water. So big cage little squid-like creature inside big cage. Yes. Okay. How wide are the openings in the cage? About six inches. Okay. Tell me if I can do this, Gus. Nattie wants to flick her ring into the cage and as she does that, or even just like put it like with their fingers into the cage and then enter the ring and then unenter the ring inside the cage oh okay weird yeah make me a dexterity check with advantage okay oh i got a nice roll there dexterity is also plus three sides 21 daddy's done this before okay yeah uh you stick your hand through and then disappear for a second and then reappear inside the cage with the ring still on your hand. Yeah. Oh no. Natty, what happened? Am I able to stand somewhere or is the cage lava or is the floor of floor? Is the floor of lava? Let's say you can stand on the floor. Can I approach Squidward? Yeah, Squidward's on the floor in front of your lane chrome. Hi, how you do? My name's Natty. How you doing? Make me a medicine check. That's a weird one. Hey Gus, that's a Nat 1. Critical

favor. Oh, no. What can I do with that? Does anybody have inspiration dice? Micah says it's a Natty one. That's my name. The squid-like creature is sleeping. Natty starts playing on her auto harp and starts playing the alarm jingle from iPhones. Like, how's that go?

Yeah, how does it sound like? The kid got kidnapped? Like, actually, all I can think of as far as ringtones is Bida-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da. Oh, that's no-kia, yeah, yeah. So Nanny starts playing the Nokia tone. Maddie with the... Yeah, make a performance check.

That one's better. 14 plus. 7, so 21. A beautiful lullaby of the great bard Nokia. The great Japanese bard. Swedish, isn't it? Yeah. Oh, was Nokia Swedish?

I believe Swedish or Norwegian. I think it's Swedish. Oh, learn something. It means filling the room. However, the squid-like creature is unmoving. Play louder. No. Ooh.

Do you play Dungeons and dragons? Baldur's Gate, board games, card games, video games? We do, too. Hello! We are three black halflings. We are three black halflings. A laid-back podcast about diversity in D&D games. and pop culture, from kickbacks about current events in the media we love,

to interviews with some of the biggest names in the space, high-quality actual plays from D&D to Daghart. Join us in the Shire over at Three Black Apples, available wherever you listen to podcasts. As I'm close to this little creature, am I able to recognize what kind of, you said it was squid like, Is it like just a little squid? Does it have hands?

Does it have a face? Is it wearing clothes? Is it drooling while it sleeps? I will answer in a second. Micah just kind of blew my mind. That song is based on a Chopin piece. Grand Vals, brilliante, Opus 18, Walson E flat major.

My flat major. Okay, I thought it was the other one. I don't say we all knew that. What's the opposite of flat? Hold on. I just need to sharp. No, no, don't Google it. I think I feel like someone said it.

Chris did. Yeah. The creature's laying face down. But no, no, it's not wearing any clothes. Naked. Maybe try shaking them awake. Sure. Natty gently puts her gloved hand on the little creature.

And it's just like, good morning, sunshine. The moon says, hello. Star shine. Star shine? Good morning, star. Yeah, but the moon says hello. It's a Willy Wonka reference. The Earth says hello.

The Earth says, I had it all wrong. That's Natty's version. Well, at this point, we'll say Doug will have caught up, and all three of you are standing by the cage. All three of you make perception checks. Also, the only reason I know that song is because of the Simpsons. Oh, that's fun. Oh. Eight.

19 plus 3.22. I also got 22. Yeah. Ooh. Doug and Natty, you both notice. that this squid-like creature seems to be shrinking and diminishing as time goes on here as it lays prone in the cage. I think the lava is hurting it. How do we get it out?

Is it small enough now to pass through the bars? No, it's not quite there, but it's getting close. How big is my mage hand? It's incorporeal. Yeah. Yeah. So it doesn't matter if it touches lava or anything like that? That's a good question.

Let me read what mage hand does. Well, if this thing is that small, it's probably 10 pounds or less, right? Well, that's a good question. It doesn't give a size for the hand, and it doesn't say it's incorporeal necessarily. It's a spectral floating hand appears. What are you thinking, Barb? Well, it wouldn't make sense anyways, because if it's too big to fit through the bars, I was going to try to have my mage hand carry it out through the cage,

but if it can't fit between the bars, then there's no point to it because it'll get... Yeah, it's a little big for that. Do I see any, like, big rocks or, like, anything that's, like, big and flat around this area that we're in? maybe from the bookshelves and the alcoves? Well, in this area you're in, there are two additional alcoves here at the end of this hallway to the left and the right. You look around and you see that at the end of both of these alcoves

are metal cabinets. Could I go and rip a door off one of the cabinets? Sure, which way? When you approach the cage, left or right? Left. You go over and you take a look at the metal cabinet and make a strength check. Come on, Doug.

You can do it. I'm going to use my inspiration dying. I figure it out. Okay, 16. I rolled a five at first and 16. Yeah, you really, you know, you kind of give it a little pool and it doesn't give, and then you really put your back into it and pull down on the door and rip it off. Doug will look around to Gunther and Natty to see if they saw what he did.

I think Doug is angry. You see how strong I am? Oh, Natty wasn't looking. Natty's like just looking up. Now he's looking at a little squid creature. And then could I go back over to them and try to hold the piece of metal cabinet, like, in the lava to see if I could make a little pathway for the squid guy to come out? Yeah. Like if it's pouring down, like if you hold it so that it makes like a little break in the pour.

Yeah, you stick the metal door into the lava and a small break appears in the cake. All right. Can I scoop up the little thing and hand it through the opening that Doug just made? Who are you handing it to? I guess Gunther. Yeah. I'll take it. Yeah. Don't eat that gunter.

You hand it to Gunther, and as you do so, right after you hand it, the metal door melts and falls out apart and clatters to the floor. So creatures through, Natty's in the cage. Yes. Natty can't do the ring trick again unless Nady takes a very long nap. Well, I mean, I'm sure there's another cabinet door over there. You want me to go grab another one and do the same thing? Sure. All three of you make perception checks.

Again? Well, that one's only at seven. 24. I have three, so I see everything. Gunther sees through time. As you turn to go to the other hallway, Doug, like the hairs on the back of your neck stick up because you feel like you hear something coming from the hallway

back in the direction you all came from. You turn and you look and you see ironclad and a handful of trolling stepping through the mirror portal. that you all came through. I want to take this, the squid, and, oh, wait, did I see Ironclad? At this point, only Doug is aware at the moment. Guys, I don't want to freak anyone out, but we got to get out of here, like, ASAP. Natty, you hold tight.

And could Doug go run and grab another one of those, like, metal doors off of the cabinet. Nettie just starts playing an otter harp, just, nobody knows the trouble I see. Can Gutther also take this? sea drinker and put, I don't know if that's, sorry, I'm assuming, there's an assumption. I'm just going to say, I'm pretty sure it's the seed drinker as well. Take the squid creature and hide it in its bag and also look for a place to hide. Yes, make me one more perception check, Gunther specifically. I want to say that I have an idea of someone who needs before you move on action, Gus.

I do want to say Natty has some terms of do as well, but I want Gunther to have his chance. Yeah. You look for a way to stash the squid-like creature in your bag. And as you're handling it, you know, you're the person now who has the most, literally the most hands-on time with this creature. You see that it's a squid-like creature that's, it's almost like it's made out of water. It's very flowy. And as you're handling it, you see that it has a face tendrils.

Like a little baby Casulu. Did I find a place that I could hide also away from Ironclad? Yeah, just make a stealth check. That's a 14. You try to position yourself around the corner so that you're not really visible to ironclad and the trolling. I found that thing of ever-flowing water, I think, on the ship. I can't remember what it was called. Oh, yeah.

Because I forgot to add it to my inventory. You guys are great. But can I take that and I pour, give some water to the little dude or girl or squid? Yeah. What does that do, that item? From memory, it's a canteen of water that has ever-fled. blowing water from it. Okay.

Wait, you put the creature in your bag and then you begin pouring water over it in your bag? Yeah, I just want to make sure it was hidden from Ironclad. Okay, we'll get to that in a moment as we determine what that does specifically. Natty had something she wanted to do. Yeah, since you said that at the other end of the hallway, we could not tell what was in the cage from that distance. I'm assuming Ironclad can't tell what's in the cage right now as well. Am I correct in assuming that, Gus? Maybe.

It's also exacerbated by the fact that this creature. creature was so small, but proceed. I mean, let's see where this goes. I cast this guy's self. Yes. And Natty turns into, I can only turn, I can go one side. I'll turn into a small squid as small as Nattie can be. I think I ain't go one size smaller.

Yeah, so you're medium size typically, so you could go small. I go small squid. Okay. And I, and I just, and I just collapsed on the floor and lay down. Like Woody from Toy Story. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And he's coming. and Ironclad and the trollings

have just entered the room and are proceeding down the hallway With that, let's do a quick cut back to Toll Almost all right back to everyone else All right Tov, you're by yourself in this big room The crystallis room Nobody knows

Okay, I want to find an exit out of here So you entered this room from the south. So I'm going to read it from that perspective. There were descending stone steps, and this room was very hot, sweltering heat. And then as you entered down those steps, a rusty metal door closed behind you at the bottom of those stairs. And in this room, it was a big circular metallic room at a domed roof with small vents and six crystal chrysalises on the edge of a central pool of lava. It was bordered with mosaic tiles.

there was a woolen curtain along the northern wall you went and pulled that curtain down and you found two raised tiles hidden behind it the west tile was blue and the east tile was red Western tile is blue, eastern tile is red step on blue tile mist enters the room step on red tile mist stops warmth and hot air radiates into the room

yes that was it okay I'm gonna just hit the blue tile just because I think that that's it's so hot and lava E in here I think a little AC might not be a bad idea yeah you hit it and it begins misting again Okay, ooh, that's nice, though. That's got to moisturize my dad's skin.

You gotta take good care of it, yeah. Are they close, the tiles? There's a little distance between them. It's probably 35, 40 feet between them. Okay. How much weight is required to press down the tiles? Or once they're down, do they stay down? It seems like it didn't take very much pressure,

so it's probably not a ton. And when you, it doesn't stay down, it's like, it clicks. It's like it clicks. Okay. I have a hand axe. I'm not sure where or when I got this, but I have a hand axe. I think you got it from one of the trollings maybe, but anyway, go ahead. Possibly.

I'm going to put a hand axe on the blue tile and then step away and then see if it stays down. You push it onto the blue tile and it begins raining in the room, but it does stay down. Ooh, this is nice, yeah. Okay, then I'm going to go to the red tile. I'm just going to stand on that. The second you step on the red tile, that door that closed at the southern end of the room pops back open. Ding, ding, ding. Okay.

What useless crud do I not need that will weigh this down? I kid you not, you can look into my character sheet. I have two hand axes. I don't intend on using these hand axes. So I'm just going to... There's crystalline shards. I want to remember shattering those crystalline, chrystimaris crystallises. If I gathered enough of that stuff, I'm going to gather a bunch of the crystal shards onto that other tile and see if it weighs it down.

You gather a bunch of crystal and shards, and it doesn't seem like it takes very much weight, and it does weigh it down. And it holds the button in position. And then I'm going to go out that door. Boopadoo, I beat this puzzle. Yeah, you go out the door to the south, back up the stairs, and as you get to the top of the stairs, you were met with a Y. You came from the left-hand side, but then the passageway also continues to the right-hand side. So, you said I've already gone down the left-hand side? Yeah, the left-hand side, there was the well that you had appeared in, and there were those butterflies,

and you left that area, came up this way, and that's how you got to this room. Okay, next question. Where are the MCA? I'm going to go down the right path. Let's keep going. No one's like, blank expressions, not a lot. Okay. Right path.

You got me. Yeah, I saw. Thank you, Chris. Unfortunately, this is an audio podcast. So when you laugh or smile to yourself, no one knows. We know. For the record, I didn't smile or laugh at anything to get that plane set. I just want to make that very easy.

That's fine. That's fine. All right. You go down to the right, and as you do so, in cardinal direction-wise, this is the southwest. You head down to the right path to the southwest, and it dead ends into a crystal mirror. is very similar to the one you walked through in that other room that took you to the well. Okay.

Those can do weekend, too. I'm going to jump through that mirror. I'm hoping it's a portal and not just a mirror. This is going to get real embarrassing. You'll be seven years of bad left hole. You jump through the mirror, and it is a portal, and instantly you feel sweltering heat. And before you is a straight hallway with a marble floor with a chalk outline bordering walls throughout. There's two alcoves halfway down the hallway.

an arrowhead shaped end at the end of the hallway with two more alcoves and a cubed cage at the very end made of lava between you and the cage stand ironclad and several trollings does he see us too I was watching Blaine's face

that entire time you were describing that Gus at no point did he light up and understand what you were describing no, this is a chalkout line I knew what that was I recognize I listened to your parts John can you talk about my room Take an inspiration I blame

I got a picture of your room drawn in my pad I'm glad someone does because I don't drive All right so is Ironclad Is he facing away from me Or does he see me Ironclad and the trollings

Are facing away from you Walking towards the end of the hallway I'm going to make a perception check for them And I'll let you guys I hope they don't see me 14 A handful of the trollings Turn around and look at you toll

I give a little finger wave. And then, um... Attack. Yeah, yeah. I sprint to Ironclad and just, while his back is turned, just slam him in the back with my war hammer. All right.

So just make a normal attack roll on Ironclad here. I'm going to rage. Like, while I'm running up on him. He probably knows I'm there because I'm growling because I'm raging. Uh-oh-oh-oh. It's all the bar boy. And that is,

a 17. Nice. That hits. Great. 10 plus my rage, I get plus two, so 12. You bring your weapon down onto Ironclad, hitting him, doing 12 points of damage. You see a smile cross his mouth as he looks at you told. Oh, you've come back to join.

Yeah, and here's my second attack, and then I'm going to hit him with my Warhammer once again. All right. roll that attack. Oh, come on. Come on. It's not as cool when I miss. 10. Yeah, that misses. I remember all the good times we had to get at Gus? Like, it's never like, inspire you or anything to, you know, I tried to take an inspiration die a little while ago. Me? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I just want to point out, you also rolled a three on persuasion against that lava thing and then Gus proceeded to them to have a entire conversation with you despite the fact that you seriously failed. Wait, panel of judges, did Gus give me an inspiration diary when did that happen?

Yeah, when you said, I'm paying attention to your room, I listened to your parts. I said, take an inspiration dive, bling. I wasn't paying attention. All right, cool. Irony. Then I'm going to reuse my inspiration die that I have. Yeah. And roll that attack again.

Give me something better. 16. I want it to fail. I wanted to fail. Yeah. Take that, John. rolling damage for that one it is not bad that's a 13 plus the two from rage 15 he you know sees the attack coming and as your hammer is about to strike him he raises his shark tooth

mace and redirects the attack and causes your warhammer to hit the ground and then he in the same sweeping motion brings his mace around and strikes you with it that's no fun let's see if he hits 17 which, uh, plus six, the 23. That hit? Yeah, Chris, that hits. Sorry. Valid question. There are, there are volumes of information to the relationship you have with Christopher in how you just said that.

We'll have to talk on second wind about the Home Depot trip. Chris and I just took this morning. Wow. If you've ever just experienced a day with Chris Damaris, you're missing out. Wait, you just said if you have missed a day, if you haven't, if you've had, if you've had, if you had, if you haven't, if you've had, if you haven't, if you've had experience today. Yeah. That's. I'm.

I'm sure you did. It doesn't sound like playing sure that experience. He, uh, hits you doing 14 points of damage. Okay. I will take seven of that because I am raging. You also take an additional seven points of cold damage, which you take the full amount. Your raging doesn't diminish that.

Well, it's always having a bad time. And the cold like goes down to your core, and it's like, ooh, you were really hot in the lava room with the Volcano Kondo, but now you just feel really cold. It's not very chill of him. It is chill of him. The effect is called chilled.

So from a metagame perspective, you're at half speed and you can only make one action or bonus action until the start of Ironclad's next turn. I'm just going to stop responding because Gus is just going to keep layering more attacks on me. Everyone go ahead and roll me initiative just so I can keep track of this. I'm seepy. I'm pulling off doors on things. 10. 15. 21.

9. I was thinking it would be very funny if Natty did in fact turn into this little squid that they do think. is if this is the seed drinker TBD, that they end up taking Natty, and then we just don't have Natty with us anymore. She's gone. Mission accomplished. Later, it just disappears into your ring,

and then they're like, I'm prepared to make that sacrifice. So the initiative order is going to be Doug, Gunther told Natty, then Ironclad, and the trollings. Doug, you're up first, and then after he's Gunther. Where am I currently? Like, am I over in the alcove getting that door, or am I...

Right. You are around the corner in that alcove, but you were aware that ironclad of the trollings were there. You just might not know that Toll was there, but I'm sure you heard scuffling now out in that area. Okay. Could I quickly look around this area and see, like, look around to see if there's anything that might help me in the situation, like a weapon or any other spells rolls? For you, anything. Wow. Wow. Make a investigation check.

Eight. So there's a metal cabinet here that's open and it appears to be pretty much rummaged through. and there's not much left. You do find a single thick piece of speckled chalk. Okay. Speckled chalk. Yeah, it's kind of heavy. The room was outlined in chalk for some reason, also.

Oh, I totally forgot about that detail. Could I pick it up? Yeah, ooh, it's heavy. Make me an arcana check. Okay. It's 20. You've heard of this kind of item before. This is what's referred to as the chalk of truth.

Oh. Okay. What do I know about it? This allows you to draw an outline on the ground, I guess, presumably. And it's the same effect as casting zone of truth. Anyone within the boundary of the chalk is under the influence of zone of truth. And this whole room is chalk outlined? Out of curiosity, is that finite the chalk?

It's not mine, but I'm just curious. It is finite. It appears there's probably enough to draw about 10 feet left. Oh, okay. But Gunther already saw that this whole room was outlined in chalk? Yeah. Okay. Before you proceed, Doug, do me favor.

The three of you who were in here earlier, make me Constitution saving throws. 13. 11. 15. It's really hot in here. Natty, you're dealing with it okay. But Gunther and Doug, it's just like, it's really starting to wear you down. Metagame-wise, both Doug and Gunther, you take one level of exhaustion.

Oh, my goodness. Hunter, you're from the desert, man. What are you doing? Yeah. You're out of practice. We're going to do a quick homebrew adjustment here to exhaust you. Okay. Instead of what it normally does, we're just going to have it be minus one to your rolls outside of combat until a long rest.

It's a little easier to remember. So other than the like combat stuff, so like any sort of attack or damage? Right. Okay. All right, Doug. I was in the process of trying to tear off another metal door. So could I finish doing that? Yeah, make me a strength check.

Oh, okay. 14. It was going to be a Nat 20 and then it rolled over to a 14. It's still okay. Still good enough. You know how to do this. Now you have some experience from the other side. You put your back into it, put all your weight down into it and rip the door off. And yeah, it's in your hands. Okay, so could I run back into the room holding this door? Yeah, you're able to run down. It's not very far. It's 10 feet maybe. And I don't know if I'm allowed to do this all in one turn, but I want to put the door under the lava for just a brief moment in time and then try to whip it at Iron Cloud.

Shape it up. Whip it good. Is your goal to try to help Natty get out, or is it just to make it like a lava weapon that you're throwing at, Ironclad? I want to do a little bit of both. I want to make a little gap for Natty to run out under, but also then before it melts,

throw it at him because a metal door that's like half melted with lava, I think is going to hurt all good. I don't know. Melted metal, when has that ever hurt anyone? On to skin, I know. You run up to the cage And it looks like Natty's no longer in the cage

There's a small Hand-sized squid-like creature in the cage Am I having deja vu I feel like we already saved a little squid In his cage this way But hey little guy come on Slidow out of you Could I like just reach under and pull it out

Yeah You're able to grab Natty It's an illusion so you just be grabbing Natty It's an illusion so you still have to have the size to fit through. Is that correct? Chris, what are you doing? Chris, what are you doing?

Oh, sorry. I mean, I would probably just put it like at my height, you know, like I would just hold it kind of. It's big enough to get Natty. Natty perks up and goes, hey, Dad. And I guess I would have to wait for my turn to move. Yeah. Okay. Oh, then I don't know if this is going to work then.

You got to wait. You have to hold it. So you couldn't throw it. Right. I guess at this point we would be out of actions because you rip the door off, pull Natty, and you're still holding it. So, yeah, there would be nothing left over to throw it. That's fine.

My priority is getting Natty out. Natty's out of the cage. Thank you, Doug. Doug did good. All right. Doug do. Doug did. Doug did.

Diggy, Doug. All right. That's it for Doug. Then it's Gunther after Gunther is told. So I was already pouring the water. Yeah, you are pouring the water onto the squid-like creature. Make me a perception check. Gunther.

11. The creature. still appears to be unconscious, but it doesn't seem like it's diminishing in size any longer. Okay, I'm going to whisper to it. No, Georgia, Norbech. Soft J. Or Zedrieker, we're here to help you. Does it respond?

No, you get no response. Okay. That's a good callback, though, Chris. Thank you. Yeah, no, I agree. I was proud of it. Well, I don't want to blow my cover. I'm going to stay hidden and see how this plays out.

Tov's got this. Yeah. Nursing the... Huh? Sea drinker. Yeah. Well, I'll give you the option, Chris. Uh, you can either keep your existing stealth roll of 14, or if you want, I'll let you roll stealth again to try to hide.

Even better. Buddy, no, but you got to take what you roll. If it's worse, it's going to be the worst roll. Yeah, yeah. All right. I'll do it. He'll take that gamble. Yeah.

You want to trade door number one for door number two? Yeah. Timely reference, Gus. He rolled a 10. I have an inspiration die Okay Door number three 18

Alright yeah That's a little better Because I think my last one was 14 Yeah and this is an outside of combat role So it'd be a minus one So it's 17 Which is still better than 14 So yeah

I think Gunther likes to Or does that thing You see like frogs sometimes Where they like get real flat Or they like Try to like squish themselves down To yeah get even smaller So that's what Gunther

presumably is doing Anything else Gunther Is it frogs that do, it might not be frogs that do this. It might just be lizards, but they do the thing where they get down to the dirt and then they vibrate a bunch and then they disappear into the sand. I think that's more lizards. I think it's lizards. Yeah, and I'm just going to keep, yeah, keep the seed drinker drinking up

and then wait on my actual like action to see what happens. Okay. In that case, we go over to Tollv and after Tollv is Natty. Okay. You-hoo. You-hoo. You-hoo. It meets me, Tov. I say this, uh, hold on, hold on.

Let me collect my thoughts. We're going to be here for a while. No, no, no, I have many. It's parsing through, got a filing system, and we're there. He's getting lost. I'm glad I've had enough of your trouble. You cannot take the sea drinker, and I have brought back up. It's time to heat things up.

I summon you, Volcanaconda. Please, God, please. Just come. They're going to do it. Is it going to do anything happen to save you. I was wondering where that was going to go. Um, make a. Okay

First of all Just roll me a D20 This is for me Okay This is gonna be hilarious If nothing happens I'm gonna have a bag all over my face 17

Okay Now make me a persuasion check I love how little Each of us knows about what happened In that five second period of time I know we're just like huh Who? I hid

You became a duplicate. You got a door and you ran in and hit. It's like, God. Well, we're all, we're all our own people, you know? That was a 15. We contain multitudes. Yeah. For sure.

One second. Communicating. Sure. When do we tell people that Micah is actually AI bot that Gus has to talk to? He drinks so much water. In the comments for this, let me know what Micah stands for, for our AI chat box. What version are we on? Okay, you

Okay, you summoned the Volcanaconda, and nothing seems to happen. Who could have seen that coming? Um, I said, It's, it's, flame on! Volcanaconda, it's, it's time to do! Are you trying again? I point at the vault, at the lava bars behind Ironclad, I say, There it is!

Does you look? I'm gonna make a roll here. How many, how many, how many tries at these tricks does, Does Blaine get, Gus? I think ironclad. All of them. All of them? Yep.

Literally all of them. Okay. That's very generous. I'm here for it. I'm here for it. I think Ironclad might be worried, might be worried about you at this point. I'll tell you what.

Go ahead and roll me a charisma saving throw. Okay. Hold on really quick. Rage, what kind of advantages is to give me on second heroes? Not charisma. I can tell you. I can tell you. without looking at your character sheet

there's nothing about rage oh my side hurts five oh my gosh the hubris your point at the cage and open your mouth but you can't make those words come out

oh zone of truth well even with the point does he look does he look so wait what does that sound like This is our best combat ever, everybody. Okay, I just want to point that out. This is our best combat.

Toll uses halitosis against ironclad. Yeah, ironclad just kind of like furrows his brow, looks at you, and asks, Are you okay, son? I hit with oarhammer. Don't have you, son. All right, that is good Lord, Blaine. What are you doing? 12.

That does not hit. I go for another strike. I roll again because this is my second attack. All right. I was just picking up momentum for this one, which is 17. Okay. That hits. Now.

I know what you're going to do. All right, here's the damage. Just going to make me do this. Just to dash my hopes. Eight plus two, ten. Yeah. You bring your Warhammer down and strike Ironclad doing a full 10 points of damage. Okay.

All right. Go told you. He doesn't have another reaction, so he can't do it again. Okay, between you and me, something cool was supposed to happen. This is kind of a letdown for the both of us, all right? I thought this was going to really, things were going to pop off. I'm so confused. All right, so I told you took your two attacks.

Is there anything else you want to do? I do want to remind you you're chill, so you wouldn't even have your bonus action. Is that going to be it for you? Sounds like that's it for me. Natty, it's you, then after Natty's Ironclad and the trolling, so we go back up to the top. Okay, man, Natty, I don't even know if disguise self-turning that off requires time. It's at will so I can like stop being a squid if I want, but I'm not.

Yeah, I'm not. I'm going to confuse the heck out of these guys. He's a squid. He's a little squid. She's a kid. Yeah. Don't punch her. Okay, so Ironclad and his backup dancers are in the hallway.

Yeah. I would imagine they are quite close together. Yes. In a group. Yes. Which is great, because a group is in the shape of a moat. Okay. A moat of hell.

Oh. Did say things would heat up. So, yeah. Just a little delayed on the punchline. Natty raises her little tendrils. and screams in a, in a southern accent that sounds like a squid and just goes, Mo to hell! Nice.

And that goes, and I will read you what that happens. You manifest a pocket of hell, 15 foot radius sphere. So I'm going to need you gather. Many of them little trollings in that 15 foot radius as I can. I think you can get all of them. Yeah. Good. And Iron Butt?

Yeah. Thank you. Is that we're going to call them now canonically as well? Iron butt. And then so they're going to need. to do some rolls. Creature starts their turn in that area takes 3D6 fire damage.

Creature ends their turn, that area must succeed on a wisdom saving throw or take psychic damage that I can roll for. And also as a reminder, no light can escape or enter it so they are blinded as well. And I assume you're a good friend to Tov so you do not include him

in the mode of hell. Toll's there? He's up there like doing the Warhammer. I'm messing, Gus. Oh, okay, okay. Of course he includes me. Weak, weak. Okay.

No, Natty loves Tov. Okay. John, well, we'll see. So in front of you, Tov, just this wall of darkness raises, and you're unable to see Ironclad who was standing in front of you a second ago. Oh, cool. Yeah. I knew you'd come up, Volcaniconda.

But Tov can hear, because it's described in there, that you can hear the cries of damned souls. 30 feet from that thing. So you could just hear just a nice cries of darned souls. Yikes. Oh, is that what it sounded like? Yeah, that was like one of them. Beautiful. So they will make their saves at the start of their turns

because it seems like that's when the damage kicks in. They will take their damage at the start of their turns. And then if they end their turns there, they do a saving throw. Okay, I see. Fire no matter what, psychic if they stay there. Okay, got it. Which, I'm going to point this out. How wide is the hallway?

You might have filled it. Let me look. That's what I'm hoping. So then if they want to get out of there, I'm imagining that you would probably need to do some sort of like roll to see if they can actually go the right direction and not straight into a wall. It's pretty narrow. It's only, not even 10 feet wide.

Perfect. Nailed it. How am I going to get over this moat of hell? It's a little moat for me. Natty puts a little squid paw out for Doug to give high five. Could I, am I allowed to high-five it even though it's not my turn? Yeah. Free action.

Free action. Micah, I'll make the sound effect for this. I'm also just thinking about, like, squid in, like, the fur of a paw. Like, just, uh-huh. And Micah's asking a great question. What is a squid paw? Yeah. What does it look like?

I think it would be a tendril or a tentacle. Yeah, there you go. Okay, anything else, Natty? No. I was going to, I thought of something, I was like, no, that won't work out. So no, I'm good. I'm just going to hang there. I don't think there's any bonus actions that I need to take or can take.

So, yeah, let's just call it there. You know, guys, let's just call it there. Okay. I can't believe I'm going to say this. Do you want Giggy to do anything or? No, I was going to send Giggy in, but Giggy would take damage. Gotcha. Okay.

Giggy is going to run to the edge of it and just kind of dance there excitedly, just wanting to get into the little mo and just like, just waiting for some time. come out just waiting for someone to come out with his little he's got a little axe in his hand he's like shadow box yeah the first creature that comes out giggy's taking a swing reading that uh attack of opportunity yeah okay so then it is ironclad's turn ironclad is starting their turn in the mode of hell so instantly that is 3d6 fire damage why don't you roll that for me is to make it fun john would go john yeah that's a plus that a three uh that's a five then that's a three so 11

fire damage. Okay, so Ironclad's in it. Tov was in front of him. Fully blinded. Yeah, fully blinded. Unsure. I think he would take a step forward to try to get out of it in the direction he was facing. I'm going to roll a D4. One is bad for Ironclad. Anything else is fine. Two. All right, yeah, he successfully takes a step in the right direction, exiting the moat of hell, a look of horror in his eyes, standing next to Toll's. Toll, if you wanted to take an attack of opportunity, you would be able to at this point. You know I want to. I had a thing.

It was a kind of a reaction, I think. It wasn't opportunity of attack. I think it might have involved the proximity of friends, though. So I don't know that it's applicable here. Guardian immediately after a creature within five feet of you takes damage, takes the disengage action or hits a target over other than you within attack. tap opportunity, halt. When you hit a creature with an opportunity attack,

the creature's speed becomes zero for the rest of the current turn. Halt. If you hit him, he will be unable to move any further. Okay, so if I hit him into the moat, could I make him halt in the moat? Well, he's moved out. Normally, you would have to, like, hit him

and then shove him, but it's just a reaction, right? So you only have the opportunity to hit. Could I do a shove as my opportunity to attack back into the moat? Oh, that's interesting. an interesting idea. I'll say this.

We would do a strength check. You against Ironclad. If you are able to beat him in a strength check, I'll say it's an opportunity attack. You do like one point of damage, but you do shove him back into the moat. Okay.

Well, I have advantage on strength checks and saving throws because I'm raging. Yeah, you got that going for you. All right. I'm going to do that. I have a plus four on this. You want me to roll first or you want to roll first? Well, really quick, I have,

I get bludgeoning damage. Can I take that? Oh, yeah. Four. Oh, it's just four straight? There's no roll. Like, that's your modifier. You have a plus four, like, for anything.

Then that's what it rolled there. I mean, yeah, sure. I said one before, but four, sure. Okay, four. And then do I get the plus two because it's melee damage? Oh, well, strength weapons, though. I feel like, uh, we're already... Yeah, hey, hey, Gus, don't even worry about it.

I'm just goofing around. We're just having a... Yeah. Okay, yeah, you go ahead and roll your strength check. All right. That is a, 15 plus four is a 19. Okay. And so I'm going to make

my strength check and I have advantage because I'm raging. We're going to do this. Yes. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. What are you doing? Gus, don't. Come on. Oh, you fart. That's a one. Oh.

All right. Hold on. I just need Wait, but both of them? No, no. That's his first rule. No, just the first one. I just need to warm up my hands, Chris. Oh, just do it. Go on the dice. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Eight.

Hey, call for the lava snake again. Maybe that'll help. Love you decide you doing a thing! Yeah, you put your hands out and, you know, really give your best shove on Ironclad, but he's just unmoving. Okay, you know how like when you start to do something, but it's kind of failing,

so you just kind of like, I start to push him and then I just kind of dust him off. And he goes to hear things off of you. My goodness. He's just ass from the boat of hell. My goodness. Yeah. So he does manage to step out and he's standing next to you.

He's going to take a swing at you with that shark tooth mace again. Ooh. And that is a hit. That is a critical hit for him. What? Are you sure? Doing. 16 points of slashing damage.

Okay. So you take half of that. Eight. Aren't you proud of me? I did math, Papa. On top of that, he does an additional seven points of cold damage.

Oh, this is the part of the Pokemon game where I'm going, Bidoo, Bidoo, Bidoo, B, do. Good thing that he only has that one attack. All right, who's next initiative? Let's move on. Yeah. You started this.

You started this. the mace around again. Doing, oh my God, this is not good. For you or blame. I can't tell. 20 points of slashing damage.

Will that only be 10? It doesn't matter, Chris. Toll is down. Toll falls to the ground and a smirk spread slowly across Ironclad's face. My words right before I go down were, Volcaniconda. I tried to make a new smarch. We could have had a Volcaniconda day.

We could have had Volcaniconda merch. All right, Gus and Micah, wouldn't you like a Volcaniconda scarf? This is, you guys, this is your missed off. This is that, not, I did my part. Yeah, now it's just a Volcanic Canta on. Never mind. Mailed it.

We're dead in the water here. Chris. Ironclad shakes his head. Poor Tov, what's happened to you? And I guess there's no one else for him to attack. He can't, he does not, I should say, not that he can't, he does not want to go back through that moat. So he's going to wait on this side of the moat for now.

And it is the trolling's turn. All right, so they all take 3D6 fire damage at the start of their turn. Yeah. Do you only roll one for each of them or just a general? I'll leave it to you, which do you prefer? How many trollings? Four. I'll just do one for all of them.

All right. For a time, crit six, four. I've had three, not 13, not bad, above average. So, oh, and they don't know because they're in the middle of the moat. Yeah. I'm going to roll, and they're more in the middle than Iron Cloud was. Yeah. So again, I'm going to roll a D4.

Only a number four is good for them here. Any other number and they get lost. They don't know what direction to go. You do an individual's or as a group? Group. Two. Yeah, you should do as a group. That's good.

That's good. Don't do it. He was ready to say the opposite. If you got a four, you're like, you should do for each of them. All right. So they're unable to leave the moat. Yeah, they try to leave the moat, but they don't go in the right direction. So the four of them are stumbling around in the moat, unable to escape.

So they end their turn in the moat, which means they need to make a DC-15 wisdom saving throw, correct? Correct, sir. And you'd be shocked to learn. They have a minus three on this roll. So I'm just going to roll once for all of them. They need an 18 or better. Cool. That's a six, which is a failure.

This spell is so powerful. It's super powerful. Yeah. Yeah. So powerful, I can't cast it many times. All right. I'm a roll for psychic damage four. six two

twelve everyone except 12 make me a perception check all right you don't want me to perceive no no no you're not perceiving much right now big guy 20 okay 9 18 so with a 20 and an 18 Doug and Natty

you hear the sound of four bodies hitting the floor oh like the body take the floor let the floor Natty joins in with I like to imagine that Natty actually can do

that really deep, raspy, heavy metal voice. Yeah. Okay. Then Natty will drop the spell. Okay. No, Natty will not drop the spell. Nadi will not drop the spell. Are you sure?

Because ironclads on the other side. Yeah, but if we want to get to Tov, are we able to? Would that spell up? Okay. Let's solve this in world. Doug, I think I took care of the red shirts. How are we going to get to Tov? I mean, is there, like, a way around this area of effect here to get to him?

I don't know. I don't see any other way. Now, maybe could you throw Gunther over the moat? Well, I don't think you don't know where I am. Yeah, I don't know. I don't even know if he's close enough for us to grab and throw. I would drop it. Okay.

I'll drop it. I drop it. I drop it. Okay. Giggy attacks. Moat disappears. Giggy would attack, would ironclad moved to the other. other side.

Okay, okay. Gigi, then Gigi attends to Tollv. Oh, okay. Well, uh, attacks one of the dead goblin things. Yeah. Trolls, trolling. He's just trolling. Gigi does want to attend to Tov.

Okay. I will say Ironclad is up there as well. So it would put Giggy like in harm's way with, of ironclad. Could Gigi get to ironclad then? Conceivably, yeah, yeah. Yeah, then I want Gigi to attack ironclad. Okay, go for you. Yeah, he was ready.

And there's all these dead bodies and you don't get to do anything to them. Go for it. Okay, Gigi rolls for an attack. Okay, before Gigi does that, can Gigi make a perception check? Gigi can make a perception. What does Gigi perceive with his special eyes?

They're just wall-eyed, staring in two different directions. Perception is a wisdom modifier. Gingie rolled a one. All right. Giggy C? What is Giggy C's red. Giggy C's 12 on the ground and ironclad standing up there. Giggy blinks with each individual eyelid. Yeah, at different times. All right, go for a giggy. Okay, cool. Gingy rolls 15 plus one. So 16. But if this is with the axe,

we've been saying, Gigi has disadvantage because it's big. Help me, Gigi Vonder. You are my only hope. Gigi rolls at 19. Eat my butt. So yeah, the lowest rolls of 16th, which... Kindly. Kindly eat my... No, it's already out. Which connects. All right. Let me see. 2D6.

3, 4. 7. 7 points of, I presume, slashing damage with that axe. Yeah. Every time. I think I say it every time, but I feel like Gigi spins up like a top with that axe

swirling around. Like the Tasmanian devil with an axe on the outside. It impacts ironclad right in the shins. It's like Link in when he's like doing his little spin attack in like tears of the kingdom. Yeah, yeah. That's pretty good. He did that too. Um, okay.

Is that it for Gigster? Yeah. Or like a Tasmanian devil. That's what he said. Oh, sorry. That's exactly what I said. I don't know if it would have affected anything with our roles, but I remember we're supposed to add negative one to like what you asked for like per set. Oh, so like even perception checks inside of combat are still not affected.

No, you're right. That would have been outside. I didn't make giggy roll. Or I didn't make Giggy take exhaustion, but you're right, you should have. Yeah. I just meant like for... I don't think anyone's been within one of a role anyway, so it wouldn't have affected anything. And Natty succeeded on that.

Yeah, I think it was just me and Gunther that took exhaustion. Yeah. Correct. Okay, we're back up to the top of the initiative. Doug, it's going to be you, then Gunther. Doug, make me a perception check. Minus one. That was a Nat 20 for a 26, so it would be 25, I guess.

Wow. You feel the ground beneath your feet beginning to slowly rumble. You see the cabinets slowly start shaking on the ground. You know, judging by the fact that we saw lava in here before and this is shaking, I don't got a good feeling about this. There might be a little bit of an eruption at some point. Well, we're just at the bottom of the sea floor where the upper crust of the world is, and there's nothing under that crust that's dangerous.

In Puff of his shoe. As you say that to the party, one of the walls in the hallway bursts open, and a giant redwood-sized, a constricting snake made of lava, with an obsidian tip-tailed, and white-hot fangs bursts through the wall, hissing looking around the room.

Uh, and she speaks one word. Ice cream. It's so stupid. Volcano Kondo's queen. Natty yells back. What flavor? Volcaniconda looks around and sees Tov lying on the ground unconscious and

ironclad and giggy right by him. She looks around. Does she see Gunther? I'm going to make a roll. She would see you. Yeah, he rolled a 17 plus a couple. Coming next year to our Patreon is a tier called Volcanaconda supporter.

You can help, if you're a Volcanaconda supporter, you can help vote on what Volcanaconda's favorite flavor of ice cream is. That's the only benefit of the tier. Yeah, that is. That's the only benefit. Does Gunther see the snake look at Natty or register Natty in any way? Like, because Natty looks like the squid. The snake looks around in regards every creature she sees in the room,

but does not appear to focus on anyone more than anyone else. If anything, the Volcanaconda would focus on Tollve more than anyone else, because that is the one being she just talked to. Okay. Blaine, can you remind me? Did Tov ever describe what Ironclad look like? How did that conversation go? I described him as big, so I think they know to look for something bigger than myself. Okay.

I know that that puts Doug in the crosshairs. I'm trying to think back. Oh, that's helpful because in my mind, as the Volcaniconda is coming through, she sees Gigi and Ironclad next to you, so she's going to assume one of them did this to you, and one of them is the one she's looking for. But if you use the word big, she's going to engage Ironclan. Yeah.

Yeah. Okay. The Volcanaconda hisses and like a cloud of ash comes out and seems to seep everywhere, filling the hallway and the room. All of you need to make me a constitution saving throw. Would this be with negative one for the exhausted ones? This is combat. Okay. How about 12?

He's just kind of out. No, you're good. Okay. 16 for Doug. 15. 16 for Natty. And I'm going to make one for Tov. I keep saying Tov, what's wrong to me?

I make one for Ironclad here. He's got Tollve on the brain. I had the same person. All right. Everyone fails. You all begin coughing and choking as this cloud of ash fills your lungs. And everyone takes 12 points of poison damage. Poison.

That doesn't mean we are poison, though, right? It does also mean you are poisoned now as well. A disadvantage on attacks and abilities. And with that, the Volcaniconda hisses and lashes out with a red-hot bite at Ironclad. I said the right name that time. Toll it from the ground says, You know, what was that? Light it up for Volcano Contra.

That didn't sound like cold at all. Yeah. Volcaniconda latches onto ironclad doing both piercing and fire damage and those numbers will remain a question mark since it doesn't directly affect you yet then she brings her tail around thrashing the area trying to smack ironclad with her tail as she has ironclad in her mouth boo-hoo ironclad must make a saving throw ironclad rolled a one on the save good job ironclad so the thrashing tail comes around and bludgeon's ironclad knocking him to the ground doing more bludgeoning damage.

Yeah. At that point, that is it for now for the Volcano Konda. Doug, what in the world just happened? What did you see? That was definitely not what I was expecting after hearing a rumbling on the ground. Uh, are we still in combat? Yes. Okay.

Well, you know what they say? Kick them while they're down. Could I try to shoot a fire bolt at Ironclad? Yeah. Absolutely. All right? You have advantage on this because Ironclad is pro. I don't know.

if i'll need it because i rolled a 25 just now to hit oh wow why don't you uh roll it again to see if it's crit okay hey i could call it is not but that's the 20 okay yeah it hits that does 2d10 of fire damage uh and i rolled 2 10 so that's a 20 oh my god when when Doug shoots a firebolt does it come out of his finger i like to think it comes at like a little bit of fire comes out of each finger to like form into a giant firebolt it's that like syng's hair is it like stinky a little for a second, just like, you know? Just a little bit. Okay, okay, sorry.

It actually comes out of his belly button. Oh, you're there. There's a little flame icon in his belly button. Ironclad yells in pain. I get two attacks per action, so I'm going to do that again. Yeah. You get two now? Apparently.

I didn't notice until today. The confidence. It says actions, attacks per action, too. So. If it's a spell, you only get one. Attack would be like swinging. a weapon? Well, Firebolt is under my attacks. But it's a cantrip. So it's a spell slash cantrip that is an attack. Oh, that's a good question. Let's get out the rules, lawyer.

Okay, normally you can't cast two spells in the same turn unless you're something like a sorcerer, but I'm going to make an exception in this case just because I think it'll be cool. Yeah. Okay, cool. So I will shoot another firebolt, seeing the great success. Do I get advantage on that again since he is so prone? Yes, absolutely. Okay. The 19. is a hit. Okay. Doing. Yabadoo,

seven points of damage this time. Man, it is, things took a very quick turn for the worst for Ironclad. I should add. Well, we saw him,

you know, we know what he did to our friend Toll, and we'll not into it. Feels a burn. And then after that, do I have,

I'm a close enough to run up to get to Tull. Yeah, it's not very far at all. You're able to make it down there. Okay. I'm going to go to Tullv. And I don't know if I could

assist him. because I think I already used up all my actions, so. Right. Used your actions and you moved, so that's it. But you are up there with him. Okay. Turnover. All right.

Next is Gunther, then Toll, then Natty. Ironclad, at this moment, they're looking how? Ironclad's in the mouth of a lava snake and is very beat up at the moment. How far? Could I make it to Tov? Yes. Then could I try and get Tollv up? Yeah.

Well, what does that entail? What do you want to do? I don't have any healing things, so I guess, resuscitate him. by taking the endless decanter and using it to pour five gallons of water all over me and Tov and the sea drinker. The beginning of your sentence does not connect

to what you just said at the end of your sentence. Why are you water porting me? Well, like, you know, waking him up, trying to, you know, splash it with water. I don't know, would that get, bring him out? You can make a medicine check to try to stabilize him and see if you're able to aid him. Okay, I'll do that.

You know, when you go to the ER and the doctor just pours water all over you? Yeah, yeah. Just empties a bucket on you. The guy known for being trapped in the water. 18. Yeah. I cast trauma. It's super effective.

18, you're able to stabilize him and Toll's eyes open. Yeah. There you go. He's a scooter. And then he immediately short circuits. And as Tov's eyes open and, you know, you're giving him this water, The whole room you're in, this whole dungeon itself once again seems to be shaking. And the Volcaniconda lets go of Ironclad, looks around the room and dives back into the hole from which she came.

Whoa. Well, that's cool. Can I use my bonus section to a second one? Yes. Good call. Good move. Good show. Great show.

Exclusive show. Think of DragonPod.com. That's 13. All right. Private Parts who is still here. Who's in charge right now? Is it you, Gunther? No.

I think you passed it back to... I think it's Doug. I gave it to Doug. Yeah, I was, and then when we got here, I gave it to Doug. Oh, why? Richard's Doug. If I must. Private parts taps you on the shoulder, Doug, and says,

I think this facility is collapsing. We should make haste at exit. What makes you say that, private parts? I'm just kidding. Now, I was a little joke here. From little to leader to leader, you know, but yeah, I think you're right. Could Doug try to, like, scoop up Toll? Yeah, absolutely.

Are you up? No. He's going to wait my turn to find out, yeah, he'll see stuff like that. Yeah, I said Toll's eyes opened and, yeah, he starts coming around. I should know if he was, like, physically up. No, he's not steady. He's still laying down, but yeah. He's so strong, you big masculine hairy arms.

Okay, it's okay, buddy. So, what, did you meet my friend, the Volcaniconda? It's okay. Time to rest. Lava snake, la. You were just saying nonsense right now. It's okay. Big fire, fire serpent, big flames, big teeth.

That's right. Big Teeth, y'all. And then could Doug just yell out to the team? Guys, we got to get out of here. I think this is going to collapse, and we might get stuck in here. Hi, aye. All right. You all are out of combat if you want to beat feet and start getting out of here. With Gunther's sustaining toll, does, do I have health again?

Like, can I? Yeah, you're like at one, right? You're like at one, yeah. One, okay. You're stable. I'm stable. That's, that's stabilized, not sustained. What am I saying?

Doug runs towards the. where they came in through the mirror. Yeah. You go through and you find yourself on the other side and begin retracing your steps back out, upstairs, out of the temple, back to the ocean floor. Polda's keeping an eye out for Ironclad.

Is he following or did he get... Make a perception check. Okay. Mm, nine. You initially hear footsteps following you, but then as you all proceed, they become fainter and fainter until as you exit the temple back upstairs,

you no longer hear them at all. And off-camera death. You find your... back on the ocean floor, surrounded by the shipwrecks, and the earth is still shaking violet. The ships that were partially submerged in the bed of the sea begin collapsing and shaking, and some of them begin partially submerging themselves into the sand, much like a lizard. Then the vortex of water that's swirling violently around you begins to lose momentum and then begins collapsing, and an ocean of water falls upon the entire part.

What an episode The sea drinker will drink up all this sea That is falling upon us and save us She's like, sorry guys, I'm just too full That frog gave me all the water I need Find out if that happens or not in the next episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon. Ooh. Not even the Seed Drinker.

That's what I'm going to say. It's just a squid. Chris just kept calling it that. Gus never acknowledged that. Turns out they're still down there and everything just collapsed. Yeah. Oh no. Hello, listener.

Would you like to clothe yourself in something stinky? I'm not talking about the stuff that you've got in your laundry hamper that you're ignoring. I'm talking about our merch over at store. Dot stinky dragon pod.com. We've got all kinds of goodies you can check out and help actively. directly support the show head over to store. Stinky DragonPod.com. Check out all of our stinky merchandise.

It's not just clothing. There's a whole bunch of stuff and help us continue to make this show. Did you know we went to GenCon 2025 and we did a live show there? And if you'd like to listen to that live show, we're making it available for free for all patrons on Stinky Dragonpod.com. So even if you sign up just at the free level over at Stinky Dragonpod.com, you'll be able to listen to this new content. New episodes of Talesman of Stinky Dragon premiere every other Wednesday, wherever you stream podcasts. and on the Stinky Dragon YouTube channel. Want us to show 48 hours early and ad-free?

You can support us on either our Patreon at Stinky Dragonpod.com or over on Beacon at Beacon.TV. Both give you early, ad-free access and a member-only Discord for each of their platforms. Looking for even more stinky content and community perks. Our Patreon offers exclusive bonus shows, behind-the-scenes content, access to the Stinky Dragon Discord, members-only live streams, stinky community events,

and a shout-out on the show, just like Timmy the BFG, delete the world. E-Wookie 0-427, Puse Integral, and Ragnar on Night. These patrons directly support the show, get ad-free episodes, access to our Patreon-only Discord server, bonus content like second winning behind the screen, and other stinky perks. For example, here's a quick peek from the latest Gen Con 2025 live show, which is available for free for everyone exclusively at stinky dragonpod.com. The infantry asks, do you have any contraband with you?

What do you count as contraband? Quiffley is standing by an ALGA holding five axes. Those are surprisingly allowed in, but any books, dancing equipment liquids? Well, I can tell you from this group we definitely don't have books. I left my dancing equipment at home. Wait, can we pot? What's dancing equipment? I think everybody knows what dancing equipment? Tearaway clothing.

Who thinks Barty would have? Spandex, yeah, yes. If you have anything, please leave them. Otherwise, we will detect it with our archway of humming. Now I have a heart condition and a liver condition and a lung condition and a stomach condition and a foot condition. Which foot? Both. I have several metal parts. That's nice. Is that going to be a problem going through this? First time for everything. Once again, that's stinky dragonpod.com. We're incredibly grateful for your support, which makes this show possible. Some NPCs in this episode were voiced by our incredibly talented friends, just like Yarl Ironclad, voiced by Adamelis, at adam.e.0.0.000, private parts, voiced by Ben Ernst at Halcyon underscore Ben.

Volcanaconda, voiced by Lucy James, at Lucy James Games, everywhere, and best known for the Friends Per Second podcast and GameSpot. This week's our question was submitted by Joseph Dufor and Blacks Knight, or Black Five Knight. There's a number in there. I don't ever know how to say words that have numbers in the middle. This episode of Tells for Distinct Drung was produced by Ben Ernst, written, edited, and composed by Micah Rysinger. with additional editing work by Catherine, Arnold, and David Sonier. Tune in next time for the thrilling episode of Tales in the Stinky Dragon. Hey, guys, Doug here on the ones and two is equals three. It looks like Blaine forgot to mute his microphone.

There's his door. There's his water bottle clinking on his chair. Like an unprofessional. guy, that he is. We'll probably through this episode. You know, you might be hearing it at the end of the episode, so we don't know what happens yet, but there's a lot going on here.

Natty, possibly turning into a little squid. Who knows if it's a sea drinker? We'll find out. Although I do feel like, who knows, maybe it's a red herring. That's another type of fish. Just a little pun for you guys. You know what, Doug on the ones and twos?

He's a, he's saying about maybe starting a radio show sometime soon. Maybe take some questions from our Patreon members, which are you guys? So stay tuned for that. Let me know on the comments of this episode if that's something you're interested in. And, uh, because, you know,

God, Doug's got a lot of advice to give. And I think he, I think he'd be in Quest. With maybe some of the answers he's got. It looks like Chris is doing some stretches. Oh, he's doing some jumping jacks. If only this was recorded on video. But no, he's doing jump jacks. His screen is also blurry, so it's kind of weird to see it's,

he's coming in and out of focus. Oh, now he's doing some big jumps. Big stretch for the little. little guy. And we'll be back. Oh, Micah, are you been listening this whole time? Uh, uh, no. How do you think this episode is going? Fantastic. I think it's well written. Yes, very, very, yes. Um, the verbiage is quite clear and succinct. It really paints a picture, you know? Definitely. And I bet the music and the, the instrumentals will be top notch. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

final potter. I'm looking forward to looking up the copyrights of the Nokia ringtone. And also, uh, Baby Got Back. You know, it's been referenced a lot. Baby Got Back. Yeah, I have a good feeling about that one. Maybe we'll play some Baby Got Back here on Doug's, uh, on the once and two is equal threes and sometime in the future.

Poo, Poo, Poo, Poo, Poo, Poo, Poo, Poo, Poo, Poo, Poo, Poo. It's the most family-friendly song we've ever produced. Oh, while you brought up Second Wind, I'll take this as opportunity to acknowledge everybody in our Discord who responded to me being very sad that I lost my squirrel with sunglasses and Pokemon Go and a lot of people responded

that they have squirrels with sunglasses that they would give me if they could see me. John, I want to tell you after that, I've been, I've been... You don't have one. I looked, I don't have one. Either I traded it or

I didn't get it and I thought I did. I'm sorry, John. I feel... The first time, the first time that I go to a live event was with our community. I'm hoping somebody will come up and trade with me. If you have no idea what I'm talking about, it's because you haven't been listening to Second Wind,

you've been missing out of some extra bonus stuff.