Tales from the Stinky Dragon - C03 - Ep. 31 - From On Hyra - Prove One’s Metal

Episode Date: November 26, 2025

B-Team leaves Fort Endridge and embarks for Boiling Bluffs. Support us directly on Patreon https://www.patreon.com/stinkydragon - get access to ad-free episodes, bonus content like Stinky Dragon Adventures & Second Wind, our patreon-exclusive discord, and more!Check out our new merch at store.stinkydragonpod.com ! Follow us on our socials at https://linktr.ee/TalesFromTheStinkyDragonCast: Gus Sorola, Blaine Gibson, Barbara Dunkelman, Jon Risinger, Chris DemaraisWriter/Editor/Composer: Micah RisingerProducer: Benjamin Ernst Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Very nice to meet you, all you voiceless talkers. Flaynly fly into the stinky dragon and imbibe our latest... That's loud. Can no one else hear that? Oh, it's you. Yes, I hear. Mm-hmm. And do you want lemon with?

Got it. No lemon. Okay. Anything else? Like, sure, sure, sure. We can get you pre-flayed brain. No, I don't need to write it down. I can remember it.

Oh, and you're gone. Okay. Previously, B-team's briefing at Fort Endridge was suddenly shattered by a pair of peculiar fugilus, the conjoined René Seuss. These fighting figures focused on Gunther forcing his friend's futile fighting to the wayside. When Gunther was decidedly disarmed, the duo divulged they were actually disjoined and designated a destined destination, a delayed reunion with Bunlap at Sky Blue Falls Prison. Whilst resting, Doug was visited by the veiled eye who mandated a meetup in Meadow Canyon with his many mechanisms. Napsum nectar and nestle in for a noxious

narrative. Hello, everyone, welcome to tales from the stinky dragon. I'm your dungeon master Gustavo Sorolla, and I'm going to hit our four players with an arrow. Wee. Sure. Following astrology stereotypes, what would your character Zodiac? B and that's submitted by Laura Marstarr. All right.

If we're going to roll that D20. Excellent question, by the way. Yes. Two. I rolled a one. 17. Four. All right.

So it seems like we have Doug first with 17, then Natty with four, Gunther with two, then 12 with one. All right. Lead us off, Doug. You got it. Well, hello, everyone. I'm Barbara Dunkelman and I play Doug Boone, the artifice

bugbear Battlesmith Artifice Boon Boon You got to hit that Plosive Boone

Beats Battlestar And You know It's funny Because Doug actually Has learned a lot About the Zodiacs

And all the different astrology signs And everything like that And part of his studies And You know I'm not going to tell you What Doug actually is

But the one That Doug It probably relates To the most It's got an unfortunate name, but it's cancer. Oh. The reason is, is cancers are typically, you know, very caring, very, you know, a little bit emotional. Might have, like, a harder exterior, but a soft interior, whereas maybe Doug's just only soft outside and in.

But, you know, it's just very compassionate, you know, gets a little bit emotional from time to time. And, yeah, he also likes the summer months. So being born in July would be pretty cool. are you crabby do you go good with butter I don't appreciate those jokes told I don't want to be eating okay I know you're hungry I know it's first thing in the morning I don't eat

That's very true All right Doug Cancer good to know Good match for you, terrible name though All right who's up next I think we had Maddie with four Yeah hi I'm John Reisinger I play Natty Wonder

who is a drought warlock drag queen and mother of the bringer of the end of all times. And I don't necessarily subscribe to the Zodiacs. I'm going to admit, I don't really know much about them. But I'm looking at them, like if I had to pick one that I associate with the most, I got to go with them, Capricorns. Mostly because of superficial reasons, like the little sign is like this little goat with horns and reminds my little baby with his little horns. And so I like that.

And then also it's apparently that they're like, they love like family and music and traditions. And so I'm like, okay, I'll go with that as well. And yeah, it's just, it also makes sense that their sign is like the end of the year and the beginning of the year. So I kind of like that with me and my baby, you know. Yeah, yeah. So that's what I'm going to go with.

The beginning of the end. Yeah, I began the end. All right, Capricorn for Natty, writing these all down. Thanks, Natty. Gunther, I think you were up next. Yes, I'm Krista Maris, and I play Gunther, the male crook folk, fighter. And for me, I would say that I might be as Taurus, because they say that Taurus are stubborn and bullheaded

and can't get stuck in a rat, but don't. I do not have horns. Please do not say I do. I also do not like cows. I like how you paused thinking we might say that you have horns. Please don't say I do. The script that we all read for these shows did say pause for a reaction. That was a typo.

That was a holdover from an earlier draft. Okay, cool, cool, cool. I'm glad we sent that into the writer's room a little bit longer. So, Taurus, because you're bullheaded, but not because you have horns. Yes. Okay. That's what I would have given him as well. All right.

Yeah, very, very stubborn. Yeah, I'll grant that. All right. Thanks, Gunther. And last up, I believe we got Tollv. Hello, it's me Toll, played by Blaine Gibson. And, uh, you ho. Good day to you all.

And for my astrology star things, I find myself a bit of a big dipper, you know, I'm out there looking for my little dipper, you know, I'm keeping my options open. I have mini spoons to give to my team. You know, you can fill me up and why is everybody looking? Yes, Natty, yes? Question, did you just say you're looking for like a romantic relationship with someone? That's new news to me. I like that.

I'm open to options, you know. Who knows? I don't know. I'm not single. I didn't ask. I don't think you're his type, Puganda. Okay. so yeah I'm I consider myself a big dipper yeah that's that's not a thing

I thought that's what you were going to say John I mean I I took that as a joke and but what's the joke I sorry you big dummy I took that as the joke but the other is I'm interested in like him revealing things about himself because that's the whole point of these things we're supposed to learn a little something about each other I learned something new so I want clarification yeah a big dipper I think the obvious answer for 12 would be Pisces Because I, why? Because am I a good chef or something? It's a auto sign.

Oh? You know, you also, you know, wear your heart on your sleeve as well. I got a little bit of motions going. Okay. Yeah, I'm open to this. I mean, my manufacturer date was May 14th. It says right here on my arm if you revealed the skin. I think that that's technically a tourist.

But, you know, I don't know astrology. I follow the stars for, you know, the different boat navigations things. and I've always liked the big dipper. So that's what I relate to. It's your guiding star. Yeah. The one, is the big dipper with the North Star?

Yeah, it is. Okay, okay. Okay. I just like the idea of Tov making his guiding star one of the ones that moves constantly. It's one of the ones in the Big Dipper, but not the North Star. It's another one.

Yeah, it's not the constellation. Isn't that right? Yeah, that's true. He just gets out on the ocean. It goes in circles. It's efficient. All right. Thanks. Thanks, Tov. Always a laugh. Said with the straightest.

Always a laugh. Always a laugh. Blaine, that was hilarious. You crack me up. Dutch a hoot. I sense you have something in your heart waiting to be made, Doug. I guess I just don't feel as inspired lately. Some of my inventions in the past have caused so much pain and I guess I'm just afraid. Well, the past is just that. It's time to move forward and learn and grow.

I have faith in you, Doug Boone, that you'll be able to do whatever you set your mind to. You want to give me like a little clue or a little hint, maybe? Map. Uh, yeah. Wait, what was your name again? Doug Boone. Doug Boone, that's right. I was going to say that. Bug Dune. Uh, Doug Boon.

It's hard for me to keep track. When you come to Meadow Canyon, we'll discuss it further. But if I forget your name, please don't take insult. What's going on with you? Same bro. It's difficult for me to keep track of time. The future and the present are all mixed together for me. Sorry, I'm just taking notes so I could keep up this.

Maybe I should do that. I do recommend it. The veiled eye is Chris Damaris. I want to use my thing of a jig. Meadow Canyon. I'll see you there, Doug. Okay, I will meet you at Meadow Canyon. Easy enough to remember.

Small puffs of clouds begin converging around your face, and they tickle your nose, and you sneeze. A-ch-ch-aw! With a sneeze, Doug, you love. snap back to reality and you find yourself standing at the workshop and Gunther's just talking to you. And so I say

don't you dare take that bug that is my bug but they took it you know what do what do you do? Yeah that's really that's quite the pickle that you're in Guantel I was listening that whole time

for sure. Yeah Chris go and take an inspiration die for yes ending that conversation that was That was a really good, really good performance. Well done, Goonther, your first inspiration die of the campaign. You've done it. But you know how it is? Dog, siblings.

Yes. Yeah, siblings. Oh. Yeah, they're really great, aren't they? No, because they take your bugs. Yeah, they might take your bugs and they might, you know, like, pick on you and stuff, but... Yes. But the happy times are, you know, you got to hold on tight to them.

They certainly are lots of happy times, yes. Yeah. Yes. You have a lot of siblings, don't you? Oh, yes. And I love them all. I would cherish them so much. That's nice.

Open wound. Open wound. Oh, yes. Yes, yes. But I do not like them. Glad to be away. All right. Smooth just like me, Gunther.

I feel like I see a little bit of myself here. Don, you look really confused. What's up? This is just my default. I'm just confused. Don't worry about me. I'll figure it out. I mean, you're worried.

wearing it on your face real big. It's just me watching Gunther traverse a touchy subject. That's all. They suck. All right, unless you all have any other downtime activities you want to do, I think that about wraps it up if you all want to take a rest,

call it a night, or push on. Oh, we weren't resting already? I figured if Doug had that in a vision, was it a dream or was it a vision? It was like in the middle, it was like a vision while he was working. A Vision Quest. He checked out for a moment. Yeah, we've all been there.

Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Huh? What? Yeah. Yeah. I suppose a rest would be nice.

Yeah. Because we get to sleep in our bunks. Yeah, that's exactly what I was going to say. You all can sleep in the barracks and take it like a proper full long rest if you so wish. And it's such a good long rest. You're going to give us temporary HP points, right? No, I'll just give you back the normal amount you would get from a long rest. Okay, guys, now that everybody knows that I am a thomotech, I can finally stop pretending to be

sleep. So I'm going to go power down in the corner. So if you see me just there, zoning out, do not fear. I'm just in sentinel shut-eye mode. It's no big deal, really. Could you actually maybe just like watch me sleep, Tov, if you're going to be up anyways? I mean, yeah, why not? I mean, do you have a preference on where you want me to be put, you know? Just, you know, nearby so you can see if anything weird happens to me or if I look like I'm in maybe like a trans or a dream that's disturbing me. So you have this nightstand here. once I can just kind of crouch on it like a goblin, like a gargoyle. Would this make you feel comfortable?

Yes, and I'll open my eyes big and bright so you can see that I am watching. Do you have a setting for playing white noise? Oh, I do. Yes, yes, yes. So here we go. Are you going to pass out? What, did you say something? I was going to ask if you could maybe play thunderstorms instead. Okay, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

What? Everyone's smoking at me. I'm done. I'm done. What's the matter? I'm so confused. Natty's already asleep. That's perfect.

Natty's out. I like to think that Toll's eyes also turn red and glow like a nightlight. So he's just there with like glowing evil looking red eyes, making that demonic sound. They actually display digital readouts of the time. Yeah. This one's hours and this one's minutes. And we've got our thumbnail for the episode. Just a gargoyle, mouth agape, staring at Doug sleeping.

Okay. You all are snugly asleep except for Toll who's making a demonic sound stop. Doug go ahead and hits off the alarm clock. Snooze mode activated. Well, your alarm clock doesn't have a time. chance to go off because what shakes you from your slumber is a sergeant Steeleye who angrily enters the room, berating everyone. Me team, what entire nation happened to me?

What did you all do? You took a little nap. I took a little nap, just like you're taking a nap, over sleeping, not making it to go next assignment. Yeah, yeah, pretty much, yeah. I came and talked to you while you were asleep. I do remember that. Thank you, Toll.

Give me the... Yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah, thank you. Do you need a white noise machine? No, you sleepy heads. I've already set your privates ahead to Mito Canyon to Scout. Do you remember what your mission is? All too well.

Good. Go for it, Gunther. Lay it on him. A beautiful song. Wow. Sounds like white noise. He tries to go to the boiling. bluffs because their metal creatures are attacking oil miners and stealing relics from the

fire eater temple also there are bees their bees is your mission to be a beekeeper son no are you gonna harvest honey put in a little jar sell it at a farmer's market that sounds lovely but it's not your mission did you just reveal your retirement plans sergeant see lie that sounds very guys get to the front line you got it sir let's go team right away up and at him yeah yeah yeah we're going we're going we're going hot too have to leave me to sleep in the war room let me put my hand in warm water it's not gonna work on me not my first time falling to sleep we look down he just has like a urine state fresh and that's our that's our alternate thumbnail peepie pants okay what's the plan here

Natty, you're in charge, right? Yeah, I feel like I've been in charge for quite a while. And so I could probably relinquish control, so I don't have to worry about that anymore. Well, who gave it to me? I think Tullve gave it to me. Or maybe Gunther gave it to, or Doug? I think I gave it to Doug.

Doug gave it to you. Okay. If math, maths, I think it's got to go to Gunther. Okay, then I bequeath to Gunther. I accept, but with reluctance and dishonor. Dishonor. Why dishonor? I don't know.

I do not. field, so I should leave, but I shall accept it. Well, I mean, Gunther, we're going to try to, don't tell still like this, but we're going to go straight to see your friend Bunlap, so this is your chance to gain back your honor. Wear it with pride. You know what they say? The best leaders are the reluctant ones.

That's right. You do not seek the power. The power seeks you. You're perfect for it. All right, Gunther. What is, what's the plan? How are you going to approach this? So, straight ahead, there's boiling blobs, but along that,

route is Meadow Canyon, right? So, you're in Fort Endridge. Meadow Canyon is three hexes away, so about 18 miles. Okay. From where you are, the next immediate places you go to, you have two options. You could either go to boiling bluffs or copia convent. Or the convent? That's where the mother.

Oh, oh, I know this. I know this. I talk to her. It is a non-convent. Priestess Chess Hey, look at you. Yeah. We haven't thought about her

for many, many weeks. Yeah, I talked to her. She sounds like this. Very dreamy. Ooh, kind of wispy voice. I hope we can get that voice actor back. You know, the Ecopia convent is a small convent of nuns

devoted to the fruit bearer. And it's the bees' knees when it comes to leather working and tanning. Bees. Since we're talking geography, so we've got the Boiling Bluffs and then Meadow Canyons after Boiling Bluffs. Where is Sky Blue Falls Prison in correlation to all that?

It's also on the way. It's like you would get there on the other side of either of these options. Okay. Okay, okay. So it is between those options and Meadow Canyon. Yeah. Meadow Canyon is three away. So it's like immediately next to Boilin Bluffs or Copia Convent.

And then you could do Sky Blue Falls Prison after that on the way. Well, then it would sound like we should head to Boilin Bluffs, since that is in fact our mission direction and then we can get somehow well i guess we got two options we can go boiling bluffs and try to like like you know like when they were playing football and they try to just go right through the defense to get to where they want to go uh-huh or we could go to the convent and try to circuit i'm saying this without steel i listening i've pushed him away because now i'm talking about not doing orders uh we could go to the convent and maybe that around the front line.

So I'm to do any sort of the arm stuff. It's funny because we're soldiers. And we can go to all of our other little side quests. I believe we should go to boiling bluffs. Yeah, you're in charge. Because also the Seed drinker is

curious to talk to the fire eater. Yeah, the fire starter. Yeah, Wicked Firestarter. The eater, sorry. You were really confident with that. You were just right up there. What? All right.

So we're going to Boilin Bluffs. Yeah. Before we leave the camp, what is this called? The room that we're in? Barracks. Before we leave the barracks, don't pretend to trip me. Oh, yeah, no questions ask. Here we go.

Okay. Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa. Toll starts to work his way over to A team's bunks and just thrashes around, knocking them over. Oh, oh, no, oh, silly me. Toll, we're the only one's in here. I know, I know. I just need it in case there's like, you know,

steel eyes watching through a window or something. You know, I just, I need to make it look like an accident, but to heck with A-Team, really, you know. Lucky for you, they're not there. They already woke up and they're out. You stuck it to them. Too Demeris for not cleaning bump beds. To Damaris.

That's too many, Demeris. No one wants that many. Am I in trouble? Is this a thing that Gunther's? No, this is to A-Team. Oh, yes, yes, yes. Bad A-Team. All right.

Let us go on not the double. just the single. On the single. Here we go. Yeah, we go. Do we have like a fun marching song, Nadie? Have you considered making a marching song as the resident musician?

Uh, the soldiers go by marching one by one. Uh-huh. The soldiers go by marching and they're having so much fun. Uh-huh. The soldiers, they go marching and they're doing all their stuff. And they go, soldiers go marching to the boiling bluff. Ah. It's good.

Pardon. What's a catchy one? Okay, so it is early in the day since you all just took a rest and you've spent some time here at Fort Endrich. What is your marching order? Gunther, why don't you tell me what the marching order here is? It shall be told then me and then Natty and then yes, on the behind. It shall be dug. Excellent. You got it, sir. Yes, sir. On the behind. And just to make it explicitly clear, I have in fact continued to recast, uh, animate the dead so Captain Grumbles continues to walk with us. That is an excellent point I've been meaning to bring that up. You know, you said you're recast it. I want to make sure you burn the spell slot

for that as well. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm happy to. Happy to. Worth it. Why did I make you a ring of spell slot refilling? If you're just going to use it on this guy every time. I put my hand around. Captain Grubble was like, so we can keep this guy around. He's messed. I love him. Skin swapping off because he's just so gross and degraded at the point. Guys, he gives me the heby-jeebies. Maybe Captain Grumbles can like stay around,

but like 10 feet in the direction that the wind is blowing so that we do not catch the, you know, we're not downwind. Yeah, but I take care of mine, Natty. Do not, this is Bjorn. You don't think I got products to take care of Captain Grumbles? Maybe he's born with it. Maybe it's Bjorn skin. I am aiming for a blue fairy. I'm a real boy situation with Captain Grumble someday. That's what I'm aiming for. already alive and real at one point. Yeah, but now he's a whole new person. He swears, he takes care of Gigi,

he's just like, we've made a new person. It's also a beautiful friendship because he started as an enemy, but now he is our friend, you know? Sure, there's necromancy involved, but you know, in the beautiful? Ah, nah, nah, nah, no, oh, cat's troubles.

Oh, you old dog. See, you love him, Gus. All right, why doesn't everyone go make me a perception check. Okay. Sure. Why not? Got it. 12.

Dirty, 20. Dirty 20. 27. Okay, so two dirty 20s, a 12 and a seven. Doug and Natty, as you all are, you two are number three and four in line,

aren't you? The back of the pack. As you all are, you know, marching, making your way away from Fort Endridge. You know, you've been walking for a little while.

Port Andrews is just a speck behind you. You see something out of the corner of your eye kind of off to the left. from you all. Seems like almost like a disturbance, like a puff of dirt moving around. Like on ground level? Yeah.

And you know, you focus a little more and look at it and it looks like someone's chasing a rabbit? Chasing a rabbit. Okay. How far?

Away? Not terribly far. A hundred feet, maybe. And as, you know, you're staring at them, you start to make out more details on the figure that's chasing the rabbit. It looks like it's wearing a top hat

and it's holding maybe a wand of some kind. in one of its hands. Wait, it's weird. It has, like, tentacles and one giant eye in the middle? So the creature is, the body is like a giant eye surrounded by tentacles. A giant eye with tentacles and tenticular eye stalks. Wait, what?

Metatog here for a second. What did Zuzu Top look like? Everyone make a reality check. Oh, Barra. What was Zuzu Top? Zuzutop is from the Groteth Campaign. An Abralian. The Abralian who did the magic show.

at the beginning of the campaign. Very good, Barbara. What's the reality check again? So what you're going to do is you're going to roll a D20 and add all of your ability score modifiers, which is strength, dexterity, constitution, intelligence, wisdom, and charisma. Farts!

Do we add the negatives? Yes. Crit fail. 30. 14. 29. When you were talking about a magician, I was thinking it was that one bartender,

the old man bartender who talks like a magician. Oh. I'm pretty sure he was scared Remind me what he sounded like again, though, Gus Yeah, one more time We'll pull up the audio for you for that All right, so 2930, 14 and a 1 Yep

A 1 I'm proud of that I think he didn't add his modifiers Yeah, it'd be a 10 Just for the record, Crit Fail and Crit Success is only on Like attack rolls When you make your skill checks You can still add everything

Like it's not an automatic fail With a 1, an automatic success with a 20 But if you're old in 1 That's probably not good anyway Okay, it was a 10 Yeah. Natty, you did okay. Everyone else, not so much. Oh, that's 29. 29?

It's one less than Natty. Yeah, but you have to add 12 to your roll. Yeah, I rolled a 17. It's pretty good. 30 was the number we were looking for, so only Natty is okay. Now I've got to make a few rolls. That dang, minus one charisma. God. I actually don't have any negative modifiers.

That's good. This is if you cheated on your rolls. I've had plenty of characters without negatives. Yeah, so have I. I don't know what you're talking about, Blaine. I'm special. I'm nuanced. I have ups.

I have downs. I'm human. I'm not a motharm attack. Seeing this creature kind of makes your brain hurt from, you know, like inside. And it doesn't quite make any sense. And as a result of seeing this disconcerting image, Doug and Toll, you have this sick feeling in the pit of your stomach. and you absolutely cannot stand. You abhor violence.

You want to do everything possible to avoid violence. Well, nothing's changed for me. Oh, God. Oh, control, I'll delete once it's happening to my processor. But, I mean, would that apply to Gunther and Tull, would they have to roll at all because they didn't technically perceive this person? Yes. Okay.

I'm a bit of an impath. Okay, Barbara. You know, I just feel the vibe of the room. Maybe you all will cancel then. Yeah, they will be affected by it. Okay. And is there a condition metagame-wise? No, for the rest of this session, you're just going to roleplay as if your characters hate violence.

Okay. But not me. Not you, Gunther. You pooped your pants. You pulled a steel eye. Gunther, you get a chill down your spine. It's cold. Yeah, it is cold.

You want to avoid darkness whenever possible. You're afraid of the dark now. All right. So keep my eyes open. There's a good plan. I start singing that one song by The Darkness. I believe it's in God, Love. Gunther, it's the darkness.

Oh, no. So for the rest of this session, Gunther, you are afraid of the dark. And all three of you, whenever anything pertaining to violence or darkness comes up, you have disadvantage on any role. But not Natty. Regarding that. No, Natty, Natty's fine. Natty kind of squints and looks at the strange-looking magician following the rabbit.

and she like, you know, rubs her eyes and looks again and realizes that what she saw was not of this world. Maybe not from this reality. It's some kind of weird illusion. Then after rubbing her eyes, she looks again and the magician appears totally mundane,

like a normal human being chasing a rabbit. Still a weird thing for us to be finding as we walk through this place. Just a magician playing with the bunny. Can I approach the magician since I'm not scared of anything? Yeah. Metta wise, this weird reality-bending situation, Nadi.

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is their best of the year. So order now before it ends and support the show by mentioning us at checkout. Terms and conditions apply. Thanks, Orr frames. So yeah, you see what appears to be a middle-aged human wearing a black suit and a top hat with a red bow tie and a cape and white gloves. Very classic. Ma'am! Hello! I'm Natty. What's you up to?

Hello, Natty! I'm looking for my rabbit! I can't help, but notice you have a particular attire about you. Are you perhaps a traveling entertainer of some sorts? Why, of course. I'm a magician. She does like jazz hands. Whoa. Okay. What happened with your rabbit?

Looks like someone let the rabbit out of the hat. You don't seem quite bothered by the fact that you're about to lose your act. Oh, you know rabbits are a dime a dozen. I can always find another.

Did Gunther try and catch the rabbit? Yeah. What do you do? You try to chase after it? I'll chase after it and then grab it in my tongue. Oh. Just don't hurt it. Yeah, don't hurt that rabbit.

I know. If you hurt that rabbit, I'll fight you. I'll fight you. Oh, God. All right, why don't you make a, however you, like, make an attack with your tongue or whatever you do to grab it? Well, to grab is, like, a strength up. thing, opposition, but I don't know as far as like the move if it's like a dexterity thing. I don't have like an attack roll for my tongue. I thought you had like a specific thing for it, didn't you?

No, it doesn't do damage. It's to just grab things. Oh, okay. Then just do like an arm strike in that case. 17. All right. I'm going to make an opposed roll here for the rabbit. See if it gets away. With the tongue to grab it, it's it's in a post. The Dex grapple check. It's the stinky dragon fun fact of the day. Did you know that Chris's favorite Pokemon is a lick-a-tong.

Yeah. It's a good one. Is that true? Yeah. Yeah. Joe Minas? Hmm. Hold on. Jigglypuff. Snorlax. Also good one. Good one. Good one. So I guess that would actually be a plus three if it's a dexterity. So that'd be a 20. It doesn't matter. I rolled a seven, so you're still good regardless. So I guess while Natty's talking to this magician, Gunther just goes,

it just snatches the rabbit in his mouth. Oh, why thank you. Most people don't want to touch the rabbit. It's got a rare skin disease. It has leprosy. Oh, no. It's way worse than that. What's wrong with the rabbit?

Well, it's rabbit, of course. Perfect. Oh, rabid, rabbit, I guess. Yes. I think out there like, well, I got there. not a mammal so I like only mammals get rabies right so you don't have to roll a check for that I didn't know that thanks were teaching me something wow yeah yeah they learned yeah it's about their blood temperature yeah that's why like animals are resistant to rabies if they have like

warmer colder blood temperatures like possums hey ben uh as producer of the show can you put us under educational on podcast town and welcome to this episode of rabbit facts not to be confused with rabbit facts that's our competing podcast the magician takes off their hat and grabs the rabbit and sticks it back into the hat

I do not know if you should be taking that two children's shows oh it is what it is but it might need to old yeller this rabbit oh oh no it's violent I do not like oh you know

there's been fewer gigs since the war started so I've got to do what I've got to do to book the events and this rabbit is a part of it did you get lost from where you were going I mean are you out here all by yourself just trying to chase this rabbit yeah we have some openings for NPCs

if you want to join no not offering that I'm just curious the magician does like a very exaggerated you know pulls its hands up to its eyes and looks off in the one direction in the distance and turns around 180 degrees and looks off in the other direction in the distance, he goes,

Oh, I guess I lost track of where I was when I was chasing my rabbit. Oh, well. And with that, the magician turns around and begins walking off in not even the direction it came from, just a totally different direction. Godspeed. Weirdo.

Anyways, it was weird. Yeah. I can't wait to fight her at the end of this campaign. You all just letting Furness walk away and you gave her back her most, powerful weapon, the rabid rabbit. Isn't that like an old folk tale of like a traveling wizard on the road that people meet and granting them wishes?

Something like that. Wizard of Oz? Do we get any wishes? The magician does not turn around. I think it's like a monkey's paw thing. I felt more madhatter than anything. That's just Gus's portrayal. Oh, you're right.

You're right. I'm sure whoever we do with the VO will do a much better job. Oh. Use your inspiration die. so you can be deprecating but I can't be deprecating on you when you do it to someone else it's insulting when you do it to yourself it's deprecating as the magician walks away

she raises her hat up and you hear an loud booming voice oh and don't forget to tell everyone you've met the great Zephyr Blake Zephyr Blake yeah well that was weird I think that was actually part for the course of our adventures we've been meeting some weird characters all this time. Fair.

In fact, was there a magician who was the bartender? They just talk like one. They just talked like one. Okay. Well, we have lost many, many minutes with this rabbit thing. We shall continue. Oh. I think you still have a little bit of fur on your tongue there.

There you go. Thank you, Doug. You know, you would look good with a beard. Really? Me? I mean, you already have one. You are practically one giant walking beard. but I'm saying Gunther, you know.

Could I try one? Yeah, let me fashion you one real quick. Just swap Tov's. Doug shaves off a little bit of his fur and puts it on. What do you think, Gunther? How do I look? It is scratchy. Very cool.

Yeah, why don't you keep that? Okay, I shall. It's a shame we're sold out of Tollvebeards on store. It's store.com. Such a bummer. You could buy one there. We're hoping to restock those soon. Q1.

Q1. There you go. Okay, so the magician has walked off. What do you want to do, Team Leader Gunther? We shall continue. Not go down any rabbit holes. Ah, very nice. After walking for several hours, you eventually start to come up on boiling bluffs.

As you are walking to the outskirts of the area, you see a creature start running in your direction, very panicked. Gunther, what do you do? What kind of creature is it? It looks like it's a balding gnome. with singed ginger hair. Are you friend or foe? You gotta tell me. Help.

Uh, with what? Have you seen any middle creatures? Oh, no. They've stolen a relic from the font. Um, okay, uh, bye. Uh, and then, uh, the gnome runs off, uh, back into town. Oh, ow, I had so many questions for him. Oh.

I've stolen relic from the font. These could be my brothers and sisters, but I think it's very clear I should probably stay low-key, not to reveal myself here. Yeah, we won't out you. So you know in Boiling Bluffs that there have been tale of metallic monsters recently seen hiding near the riverbank. In regards to the font, was it like a Helvetica, a comic sands, a Times New Roman, like what... All right, so Boiling Bluffs, you know, they're blackened bluffs that dribble with crude oil. The river bubbles with boiling oil And there's brick and mortar buildings

And oil lamps and torches that are lit throughout Is there something to do with the fire eater here? Right? And the fire eater's got a thing with the sea drinker, right? Yaha. Correct. And here in the boiling bluffs, there are a few landmarks

That may be of interest to you. Okay. There's the crude corral tavern The font of the fire eater, which is the temple. and Sora Sump, which is a mine. What of the fire eater? The font of the fire eater.

Avetica of the fire eater, as Blaine was him. Thank you, thank you. I say we shall go to the font of the fire eater to inquire within what do you say. I mean, also, they said a relic was stolen from the font, so assuming they just got one font here, that's probably where it was stolen from. That's a very good point, Doug.

Thank you. Yeah. And we should keep out for those ding darned meddled people. Watch out for those guys. Am I right, guys? Are you metal or are you technically made out of something a little more advanced? I look at the brick and more to the architecture of these buildings. Look at these things.

Wow, wow. I'm not metal. And I have a beard. All right, so what's the move here, team leader? I guess move towards the font, lowercase. Okay. Which means sneakily. Gotcha.

Like trying to avoid this. I think there's a lot of chaos going on right now. So I don't know if anyone's really going to pay attention to us, to be honest. Is everyone running around or was it just that one? You know, as you're walking around, you don't notice anybody else running around panic. It seems like it was just that one person who seems to be running around panic. Hmm. Maybe he's having a heat stroke or something.

Maybe he got bit by that rabbit. Gus, can I do something? Yeah. Can I take a look at my shield? Is it glowing? No, for the listeners, remind them, why would your shield glow? Yeah, no, it's okay, Gus, that you forgot. I'll remind you.

So basically, anytime I'm near a thaumetech, it's supposed to glow the runes on it. You know, it's bright outside, so it's hard to tell. And, you know, as you're looking at it, you think maybe it is? You kind of do that thing where you, you cup your hands around your eyes to try to make a little dark area and look. And, yeah, it seems like it's ever so faintly glowing. Interesting. Maybe we could take it into a dark room. Oh, never mind.

That's a terrible idea. All right, you're an inspiration to die, Gunther. I don't take it. Okay, so you're heading over to the font. Is that correct, Gunther, that are hearing right? Yeah. You see a towering column of smoke and the temple carved into the cliff face. There seems to be a river running through the cliffs, and it smells as the aroma of, like, barbecue.

So the river running into it, is it normal river or is it Black River? What? You said there was, like, oily river, right? Oh, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like an oily river. So the oily river is running into the Fawn, and is it coming out any different? No, well, the river's running through the cliffs, and the temple is carved into the cliff face. Okay.

Sorry, when you said, is the river black, I was like, what's he talking about? out. Okay, yes, yes. All right, well, I guess we just go up to it. Knock, knock is the fire eater home. Okay, you walk up to the temple, Gunther leading the way, knocking. As you're doing that, that same person that you met at the outskirts of town, that same balding gnome, comes running up to you, Gunther, hand out, and begins shaking your hand very enthusiastically. Oh, no, the fire eater is not here right now, but does show up quite regularly. Hi, uh, I'm flasking Black, who are you? Black, I am Munther. Mantha.

Pleasure to meet you, Muntha. I look back and wink at the guys, because I'm in disguise. And then I look back at Maddie and Doug and Trug. Uh, Flack, we overheard you saying that a relic was stolen from the font. I assume this is the same font you were referring to here. Yeah, yes. It seems like the gnomes always out of breath. Yeah.

Yes, uh, it is, yes. Uh, let me show you around. And there the gnombic gets pointing around. You see, we have a natural font of oil, always burning, very comfy. Uh, we've got beds with wool and blankets for priests and visiting travelers. Uh, we've got a steam room for prayer and meditation and a hard stone slab for cooking hot meals. Uh, and a reliquary, a relics for divine manifestation. I'm the firemaster here.

Flack, and I help out the Kindlekin priests. Wow, okay, Flack, I want you to do me one favor before we continue on this little tour you're giving us. All right, this is something I call box breathing. You go in for five, hold for five, out for five. Here we go. Hold? Okay, how you feeling now, buddy?

Tired. Flack, maybe you need some sort of peaceful, calming aura. Like a white noise machine. Oh, that would be nice. Barbara, why are you taking your headphones off? Barbara, what's the matter? Don't worry. I'll still be able to hear you if you do it.

I was just offering. I didn't, you know, he didn't say yes. Oh, yes. Yeah, yeah. Okay. I hope it's lowered a little. Just for the listener's sake. I hope you up the game, Micah.

Make it into a music track. You can beatbox with it. Well, what was the relic exactly that was stolen? And do you have any idea who might have taken it? Yeah. It was the fire opal of fireballs. You've probably heard of it. Metal creatures who were seen wandering around in the temple,

but they managed to escape without anybody noticing. And these metal creatures, are they like humanoid? Were they walking on, you know, two feet? Or were they like spiders? Like, what do they look like? Yeah, yeah, they were humanoid, yeah. Okay. Were there any identifying qualities of these metal creatures?

Uh, they're metallic? Metallic, great. That makes sense. Did they refer to each other by any name? Do they communicate in any sort of way? They were made of some kind of blue, gray metal. Ooh. Do you know why they want the fire opals?

Well, it's very important and very powerful. I don't know what they want specifically, but they're probably envious. Were they violent in any way? Do they like, you know, were there any, um, Are there any casualties or anything like that in the village? Ah, no, they were in and out undetected. Hmm, interesting. And what does the fire opal of fireballs do exactly?

I have a few guesses. It's a blazing fiery red translucent gemstone, about the size of a grapefruit, and it's constantly steaming. Wow. According to legend, this is just between us, of course. It's a single teardrop shed from the fire eater. Wow. That's a pretty powerful single teardrop.

Yeah. Why would somebody want to take it? It's very valuable. Maybe that's the reason. What purpose does it have here? Well, this is the font of the fire eater, and it's a relic of the fire eater, so it just makes sense to have it here. But you don't do any, you'll have no practical use for it on a day-to-day basis. prayer meditation

it's like going to a Catholic church like why you got all these bones around here these saints do you do something with them what's the point of that altar on that cross over there no I understand when things are stolen from your

village it can be very very upsetting so upset it's like a sacred Labuobu I have here with me the only solid gold labo boo boo boo shall we go look upon the river banks

what is that Pocahontas come on Barb no just let them flounder there you go I look once more Should we do that Flack can you point us in the direction of where the metal people were

Well if I knew that I'd be there You know getting the Opel back How about we do this flack I feel like we could be helpful for each other, helpful to each other, even. What if me and my compatriots we offer to help retrieve

the opal for your temple and in return, you do your darndest to help us get in contact with the fire eater. Oh, yeah, absolutely. I can do that. A little bit of that quid pro quo.

Yeah, this for that. I get it. Perfect. You know Latin. Okay. He's smart little gnome. Makes sense. You're in a church, you know Latin.

All right, let's go find them metal rubits. We look for like tracks. Yeah. You can do that. Just around the river bag. I don't need to do this. I don't know if this is an abuse of the power, but I could also like,

Polv has a cape, right? And he has the shield that glows when it's near Thumb attacks. I'm assuming these are Thumb attacks. So I could throw the cape over me in darkness. Cover your eyes, Guantr. Well, not too long because that's also dark in that you, you know, Don't play Couther.

Just stare over there into the sun. Don't look at it in the sun. I'm blinded. Figured out. Okay, so anyways, if you guys guided me and we kind of walked around the village and then the stronger, the light grew from the shield,

that kind of points us in the direction maybe. Well, what about this also? Just to get us started. I'll use my octopot of obscura and poured out looking for that fireball. Big a little fireball, man. Big an old fireball, man. Can I do that?

Can you that? Cuss? So, yeah, turns water and inquisitive ink, dribbles them out. Ink flows towards hidden things in the area. Use 4D6 dice pool per long rest. Barbara, if the fire eater is pit bull, I'm going to scream. Fireball! And you need is jump? Dallet.

Yeah, go ahead and you can dribble some out. And you roll from your dice pull, Gunther. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 5, 2, 5, 6. So I guess I lose one, but I have three remaining. Correct. So you dribble some out and, you know, like at first it doesn't seem like it's doing anything. It just kind of stays in a puddle.

And then it slowly begins dribbling and running off to one side, seemingly leading you to one area here inside the font. Wait, inside the font? Yes. The call is coming from within the house. So, you know, you know, when you first walked down, in, Flack kind of pointed out some different parts of the font to you. There's the font of burning oil, there's beds with wool and blankets, a steam room, a hot stone slab,

the reliquary, and there's various priests and travelers, including Flack who came up and, you know, greeted you. And as you're watching this liquid flow, it seems to be kind of leading out towards the steam room. Steam room. That makes sense. Hey, hey, are we getting good vibes from Flack? Like, we have a vibe check on him? Yeah, make me an insight check.

Good call. Six. Yeah. Doesn't seem like he's hiding anything to you. All right. I am though. My real name is Gunther. Don't tell him.

It's a secret. What was the fake name he gave him? Monther. Monter. That's right. And my mini sons. Monther and sons. Bo.

Natty is a daughter. Actually, I'm a mother. Oh, that's true. She's a blank. She's a mother. She's a tab. She's a plague. You literally can't say.

That tickled me. I don't know why. She's a female dog. Before we begin search, we should take stock of your temples, so we are familiar with it. Oh, absolutely. And you know what? Chris, since you rolled an inside check, I'm going to give you something. I'm going to reward the investigative effort here.

Let's yes and your terrible role. Yes, yes, yes. You know, you rolled an inside check on Flack. It seems based on you trying to read him, that he genuinely cares about serving the community. It seems like his concern is real and that he genuinely is concerned about what's going on here. Oh, that's a cool read. Yeah, okay. I like Flack a little bit more now.

I just feel bad every time Gus has to voice Flack because I worry that Gus is going to pass out. Yeah. No, it's okay. I'm not totally Don't worry about it Gus is stressing me out so bad I need some white noise because I'm so stressed

So I guess could we head towards that boiling room Steam room Steam room Yeah you bid adieu to Flack and begin walking You know following the liquid

In the direction of the steam room And you know As you approach it you can see A river trickles past A hot bowl of coals that are causing steam in this room and there's benches with wool towels and what seems to be a drain in the floor

and around the room there's various kindlekin priests meditating and praying Natty casts disguise self and puts a towel around her and a big old towel around her wig so she looks like she's meant to be in here or just got out of the shower yeah yeah yeah and then she

sits down next to like those guys okay yeah can I get a vibe for the guys in there the kindlekin priests Yeah, like you want to make a vibe check or what do you mean, what are you trying to do here? I want to acknowledge that we are in a sauna and they probably are in various states of unclothed. So I don't want to like stare, but I also want to, I feel like I could maybe recognize a sibling if that's what they are or a thom attack. So you're like looking at them and then you put your cape over your head with your shield and like try to look at it and see in here to see if it's any brighter, like that kind of thing. Sure, sure.

Total normal sauna behavior. Yeah, that's me. Well, these priests that are here, they're not exactly, you know, in sauna attire. It seems like they're meditating and praying. Like, they're deep in thought. They don't seem like they have much regard for you. You kind of, you know, check your shield to see if it glows any brighter.

And it does seem like it's glowing a little brighter, but it's not like super bright and blinding or anything. Okay. I give like a cutting of the neck thing to the rest of the team. Like, this isn't them. Kill them? Gunther draws a sword. I mean, I know Natty was in the midst of disguising self to do something,

so I don't want to like all of a sudden just completely leave that. In order to assist that, let me give a little bit of flavor text. These priests seem like they're wearing outfits made of black wool, and they're wearing steaming ceramic shoes. Their shoes are steaming? Yeah. Like as in their shoes are hot? Probably.

How bad does it smell in there? just their shoes are not not the ground maybe it's like a flagellation or not not flagellation what's the where i'm looking for gus flagellation flagellation it's so close why are those two words so close so there is a hot bowl of coal steaming in here as well just to answer your question nettie uh do you want to do something in disguise here yeah so there you described them as like meditating or praying are they like sitting are they kneeling is this like what what's what's the prayer situation. Two of them are kneeling and one of them is sitting and they all

appear to have their eyes closed. Okay. I'm going to sit awkwardly close next to the guy who's sitting. Okay. Can I just sit there and listen for a second? Do I hear anything? So flattuation. This is flagellants. At the steam. It's actually a fart.

Yuck. I mean, you don't hear anything. This person just seems to have their eyes closed. Okay. Since you sit down like right next to them, this priest opens their eyes and kind of like turns and looks at you and then closes their eyes and bows their head once again. Hey, I'm new here. What are we doing in here? I was on a tour of the temple and I wanted to come in here. It seemed like you guys were having a good time. I am attempting

to reconnect with the fire eater. Oh, reconnect like you've connected with them before? Well, the fire eater has not been seen in some time. Normally she manifests herself here quite regularly, but it has been a while. Was her disappearance in correlation with like, the loss of the opal or was this happening before the opal went bye bye it's been happening since before the opal was lost oh okay we worry she might be offended offended what happened we do not know we are trying to figure it out through meditation and through prayer you're just one of those people who think it's your fault it most likely is so we're hoping through meditation and prayer we can discover the source of offense oh okay is there something we're supposed to do in this room specifically

to like try to connect with the fire eater. Do you wish to join us and become Kindlekin? Absolutely. I love the ascent. Excellent. You can join us by performing our initiation rituals. You can walk on hot coals, learn your belongings, or experience the tongue of tongues. All three? Oh, not or. It's and. Let me retake that.

Oh. Heck yeah. That suddenly got much worse. you can join us by performing our initiation rituals walking on hot coals burning your belongings and experiencing the tongs of tongues okay yeah yeah you know what when in rome do fiery stuff most excellent i got this i'm so concerned i'm very interested in the tong of tongues i'm very like i cannot tell you what that could possibly be let's find that thrilled. Let's find out. Are the three of us just kind of like in the doorway watching this happen? That's up to you. What are you all doing? I would be obvious if I tried to come and join. So I think I would just be trying to stealthily watch. Yeah, I'm watching from the corner and kind of listening in. Doing that thing where you're like pretending to look at something up on the wall. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, wow. And Gunther strokes his beard.

Nettie turns around and sees that Doug has much more volume than usual in his hair. It's the humidity in here. Because of the steed. My hair's starting to turn curly. Oh, he'd be so cute with curly hair. You got a perm, aw. It's my natural curls. That's how it works for me too, Doug.

Me too. Excellent. Which are the three rituals would you like to start with? Let's go in order. You said him in that order for a reason. I figure that's the clear sign of a clear way to get to that fire eater's presence. Oh, I appreciate the enthusiasm. Yeah.

So, first, walking on hot coals, you must wear shoes filled with hot coals for a day. Ow. Yeah, that sounds smart. It's the first step to proving your devotion to the fire eater. Oh, emphasis on step, I see, I see. Okay, I'm just looking at my character sheet to see if there's anything I can do to mitigate this. I'm going to say, as a drow, are you fire resistant? Nope, there ain't, nothing.

So we're doing this full go. All right, give me them coals. Excellent. You know, luckily for you, there's a bowl of steaming coals in this room. So, you know, you can grab some with the tongs that are in the bowl and use them. I just have a quick question. Do the shoes come into four-inch heel? I'm just asking for Natty.

You can provide your own shoes or use what is here. Is there also a way I could very, very stealthily come in and just graze Natty and give her guidance? Yeah, do that. Yeah. Absolutely. It's just, Doug, awkwardly walking through the steam room, just gently touching Natty and walking back. Listen, if someone who has gone to saunas before,

there's nothing worse than being accidentally touched in a sauna. And you can't see anything, really. That's why I wanted to sit awkwardly close to this guy, because there is an unwritten rule that you don't do that. No. Also, just discovery as I'm looking through my character sheet. Don't worry, Barbara. Animate Dead specifically is you use it without using a spell slot

because it's part of my Eldridge Invocation. Wow. It's like a cantrip then? It is a spell that I can cast once every long rest. Oh, okay. Nice. Every long rest you could reanimate it. And so we long rested and I brought Mr.

Gapton Grumbles along with us. So don't worry about that. I can still, I can keep Captain Grumbles around forever. All right, forever and ever. Eat that, Gus. I've got plans for Captain Grumble. Do it, do it. All right.

Coles, grabbed him with the tongs, put him in my shoes, and feel how that feels. We are very appreciative of the devotion. I'm hesitant to read the medigame thing. I'm going to hold off until it's relevant. Great. That's not ominous at all, guess. I was able to cast guidance, though?

Yes, absolutely. I figure you do that thing where you kind of walk in, do a circle around the room, you know, walk kind of close to Natty, do with a quick brush, and then just walk back out to the door wherever you want. Just so you know, Natty, that you can add a D4 to any number rolled on one ability check of your choice.

Thank you. I'm quite familiar with it. That's true. You did have guidance. It's good to teach our listeners who aren't familiar. Yeah, Steve. Steve in Illinois, we see you. I think the last time we did that,

someone did get into our, like, our Discord or something was like, that was me. Discord available at StingadragonPod.com. Do you remember the next step? I got to burn stuff. Make a constitution check. Yeah, why not? It's 13.

Okay, yeah. You feel the coals in your shoes like burning and stinging. You know, pain is just a warning signal sent from the brain. You are holding it together quite well. To be clear, Blaine did bring up something that Nanny walks around in high-heeled boots all day long. So Nanny's got tough feet. You're ready. Maybe Nanny's got calluses that are helping to absorb the heat.

Good ankle strength. Yeah. That is correct. Now you need to burn your belongings. Make a constitution check. 15. All right. It getting real hot.

We must set fire to some of your belongings. Chosen at random. Go ahead and make another constitution check. What are you doing here? Please be geeky. Please be geeky. 18. All right.

Yeah. A little toasty. Captain Grubbles. So what you're going to do is you're going to roll 3D6 individually, and using each number rolled, I'm going to start from the top of your inventory and count until reaching the item slot corresponding to that number, and we're going to burn that item. Okay. You burn my auto harp.

Natty will, in fact, bring this temple down around these people's faces. You're rolling, so you're burning. All right. First roll, one. That is your auto harp. No, no. Wait, what was the rule? Roll 3D6 individually, using each number rolled, start from the top of the inventory and count until reaching the item slot corresponding to that number.

Burn the item. Wait, why am I rolling three times? Three items? Yeah, you got to burn belongings with an S. He did say plural. All right, all right. Yes, that's fine. They'll have to deal with what happens with that.

Six and six. So do I need to roll that third one again? Well, what I'm going to do is I'm going to not count the items that are already burned, so that's okay. What you burn it. That's a dagger. Okay. And your light leather armor. I think I even have the armor on.

I don't think you do either. It's not clear. Perfect. Yeah, take it. Yeah. So, auto harp, dagger, armor. It's rough. What am I supposed to do now?

So it's not automatically burned. Natty, you must take these items and put them in the fire to burn them. We can do an illusion. You can't? I can't. I can't. You can't? No.

You don't have any type of illusion? You guys are crazy. You guys all think I have a. million different spells. I'm just a warlock. That's fine. You know what? Nattie is committed. Okay? She's very straightforward. She doesn't lie. She likes to be straight on. So Nanny does. She takes out of harp.

She plays it one more time, a sad little melody, and then puts the dagger on it, wraps all of it in the leather armor, and where do I put this? You can put it on the steaming coals. That should do the trick. Natty played Ring of Fire by Johnny Cash. I was just thinking of, I was trying to think of a good song and you got it. No, Natty plays something that will not get us copyright and strike. Yeah, Natty puts it on the fire. It slowly begins to smolder and then burst into a small pile of flames.

Fire ball. This is a somber moment, okay? Not anymore. No, no. Oh, man. Todd, you know, we used to work with Todd. He did great pit bull impression. Really good. Yeah, it was crazy good.

The last step is the Tongues of Tongues. I'm so excited, thrilled for this. I want to see what this one is. What's this one entail? This one is simple. You merely split one's tongue into a three-pronged fork. Using the Tongues of Tongues and a blade of your choosing, do the deed, you will certainly bleed.

And now that you look, you see this Kindlekin's tongue is split into a three-pronged fork. Okay. You sure you want to do this, Nanny? Yeah. Natty goes and grabs You said it's like a little blade Using the tongue of tongues and a blade of ones Choosing oh you can supply your own blade

Well you took one of my daggers You still have one I have another one I think the old remiss just make you cooler In my opinion Yeah yeah Natty takes it And Natty's tough as nails She takes the tongue

Pull out her tongue And goes Giggy don't watch Actually giggy watch is important This culture I was gonna say that doesn't like you. Pold doesn't watch.

Nettie cuts her tongue into two spots. So she has the three, three forked tongue now? Doug was accidentally watching it. Oh, God. Oh, God. Why did I watch that? Oh, my God. I'm scott for life.

I feel like Doug would start vomiting. Well, Doug and Tolv are also really like violence is, that's kind of violent. Yeah. You take five points of flashing damage. That's it. That's not bad. It's just a tongue.

It's just a tongue. Yeah, you must talk with a numb tongue for the rest of the session. That's not going to be good for audio listening. Only when I'm in Natty's voice, right? Yeah, of course. Okay. Natty turns to Gigi and knowing that Gigi has a demonic fork tongue. Oh, yeah.

Mama like you in that. Look up. And Gigi also goes back and he goes, La la la. Just blood dripping down. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Giggy likes blood Yeah

It's a horrifying image That will not be our thumbnail for this episode You ever like went to church With a friend and then they start doing Things and you're like What did I get myself into? This feels like that moment I have not

I think this is more occult stuff Than church stuff If I'm being honest Yeah The Kindlekin priest puts their arm around You very heartily natty Oh welcome sister You're one of us now

Great I've forgotten why I committed to this You don't sound right, Natty Yep, that's not the right voice Thank you so much I appreciate that I have a question Yes

Shut up Tov Sorry So I didn't even get your name What's your name? My name is Fonis Apollas Fonis You said

Every time Every time I love the You're immersing yourself In the character I love it You said that these two other guys in here That you guys are all trying to return to fire here

That means you know them Do I know the people in here with me? Yes We're work acquaintances We're not best friends or anything But we work together That's how Gus describes all of us But like you've seen them around before

they're not any, like, strangers. Oh, yes, absolutely. Okay, because between you and me, we're looking for the metal folk who came in here and took the open. Oh, yes. We need to find them. But now that you're Kindlekin,

you have access to help from us. Ooh. Awards program. Something's going to come from this? Yes. Okay, good. We love your enthusiasm. You jumped right in without knowing what you get.

That's a nanny. What I get? Is it a real? Replacement otter harp. Frequent friar miles. You get the boon of tamed flame. A spark of fire is always but a prayer away. Granted, the fire eater isn't preoccupied.

Any relation, Doug? A boon of tamed flame? I imagine it's similar, but I don't know if there's any at the end of that boon. No, there is not. Yeah. No relation then. You have the benefit of hot stuff. Need a woolen blanket, hot meal, scented candle, a light source,

You can visit the font and find a fellow Kindlekin or send a Raven and receive one of these items once per day. Whoa. Okay. And on top of that, the best benefit of all, fiery friends. We are forever part of a fiery fellowship that burns with compassion. If they're more involved with that, that is you saying we're buddies. We're buddies. We're work acquaintances.

I like new fan. I don't know if you want to ask, like, if there's something that you could call upon them in time, of meat or something like that, like summon them? Yeah, is this like something where you guys will help me if I need help? Yes. If you visit the faunt to the fire eater, you will always have help here. All right.

Can they cancel my student loan debts? They help me catch that suffering suffering. Sufferings. I thank you so much for all this. I have one more question before I probably got to leave and rejoin my compatriots over there who probably just wondered, what the heck going on? Did you say anything about the

metal guys who came in here and took the opal? No, but there have been erratic attacks against miners by metal creatures. The miners suffered some lacerations. The creatures were last seen near the boiling river. Maybe that's a lead. Yeah, that's actually interesting. I heard that they were attacking miners.

Were they just attacking to attack, or were they trying to steal something? Did anybody discern a motive? This is serious, D&D. Yeah, yeah. We really have no idea. They just seem to come out of nowhere and begin attacking for no reason. Okay.

Well, I won't take up any more your time. You are very hospitable for letting me interrupt your priors. And then making me part of, hey, hey, fist bump. You get a fist bump back. That would go. There would go. And then Natty actually just goes in for a hug. All right, yeah.

You go in and get a very hearty hug from Fawnus. And Nettie turns around and goes, Who else wants to be one of these guys? Oh, you can take your, you can. Oh, wait. You have to continue wearing the shoes with hot clothes for the rest of the day. Okay. Now, you want me to hold your heels for you?

Yeah, oh, like my boots. Your boots. Oh, I imagine they're healed boots. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yes, please. Thank you so much, Doug. That's so nice for you. I like you.

Wow, these are work about these things. Yeah. My mama made them. Rhinestone. It's, like, embellished from, like, tip to bottom. That's been crazy. Don't waste any space. Wait for this.

Now, could someone else talk for the rest of this recording? I think I won't gnatty be the spoke for the rest of the episode Somehow not using your tongue makes my tongue really tired I don't know why you're like flexing it in the other way

You're like avoiding you It's avoiding it It's like when you're in the car And you get tired from having to compensate To all the changes Well this is the direction That the stone supposedly went right Yeah the liquid flowed into here

You know over time It continued flowing came into the steam room and then went down the drain. So do we know the source of the heat? You said there was like a hot... Yeah, there's a hot bowl of coals causing steam.

Does there seem to be any sort of like... You said the drain? Access to the drain? Yeah, like a... How big is the drain? It's narrow. It's pretty small. I mean, do you go over and like poke around with it? We got someone who can fit in small places.

It's true. Doug Boone. I actually can. Yeah. I think I was making a joke, but yeah, that's like a power, right? I thought, yeah, it's a... I think it's a feature.

of a bug bear maybe? Bug bear trait. Yes. I guess I don't want to interrupt or upset the priests. We're buddies. We're buddies now. These are my homes. They're buddies.

And they all have their eyes closed. I don't know. I guess we could try to see if we could get into the drain. Oh yeah. Without squeezing, you could move through and stop in a space large enough for a small creature. Oh. What is that ability called? It's called sneaky.

So me and Doug could both get in? Well, you go over and, you know, you begin looking. looking at the drain and told, since you're the first one who brought it up, why don't you make me an investigation check? Okay, that is a zero. I'm going to use my inspiration die. She was, I bet bad rolls this game. Yeah, this has been a bad roll day. Oh my God, four and a wasted inspo die. I give an inspo die. All right, you won't regret it. Here it comes. Here it is. 13. Not bad. There we come. Much better. You know, you bend over to kind of look at the drain. And as you're getting closer to it and looking, you realize the grate is loose. It's not.

fitting flush or like the way you would expect it to on there like it's been disturbed and as you're bending over looking at it like a reflection catches your eye and you see something shiny under one of the benches in this room okay can i investigate that yeah you head over and take a look and under the bench is a small piece of some kind of blueish grayish metal it's in a small water puddle and it smells terrible oh no earlier uh that gnome flak said that the metal people were blueish gray Do you want to pick it up? I, like, because the other people are meditating and I don't want to interrupt them, I want to, like, point out, like, I'll lift up the bluish gray metal, point this,

and then I'll point down at the drain, too. When he gets closer to the metal thing, does this shield glow more? I imagine it's only if he's actually near a being. That's what I think. That's how I interpret it as well. I'm going to say probably not. Doug sees Tov motioning and looks at the grate, and then nudges Gunther and goes, Heganto, I think maybe something went into that great,

maybe something that belonged to that piece of metal, the Tov's whole thing. That's, you know, what I'm gathering from his hand signals over there. Yes, yes. I think that is very true. It's awfully dark in there, and it is so dark. Well, why don't I help you out, actually? Let me just imbue a tiny item here with a light.

If we go inside, I could light up the tunnel. Oh, that would be more. Most appreciated. Not that I'm afraid. Gunther's nightlights available at stored at Steakidragonpod.com. If we go up to the great, could we tell if this like tunnel is small enough for us to fit in? This opening is super narrow. This drain is normally only big enough for small creatures to get into.

So normally you would not be able to fit in this, but Doug, you have that specific feature that lets you fit into where small creatures can fit. and Gunther is small. So you two can fit, but Natty and Toll would not be able to fit in there. What if I gave one of them my potion of gaseous form? Oh, I'm pretty sure that would work. Problem is I only have one of them. Yeah. When you drink this potion, you gain the effects of gaseous form spell for one hour

or until you end the effect as a bonus action. And gaseous form is you transform a willing creature, along with everything it's wearing and carrying into a misty, cloud for the duration. All in this form, the target's only method of movement is a flying speed of 10 feet. The target can enter and occupy the space of another creature. The target can pass through small holes, narrow openings, and even mere cracks, although it treats liquids as if they were solid surfaces. The target can't fall, remains hovering in the air. While in the form of Misty Cloud, the target can't talk or manipulate objects, and any objects it was carrying

or holding can't be dropped, used, or otherwise interacted with. The target cannot attack or cast spells. I love that this could work out and I would hate to split the party three to one. How about instead of one person for one hour, we do two people for 30 minutes? Like they each take a half a sip. I'm saying, you know, Gus off from the table. I don't think that works.

I think you have to imbue the entire thing for the effects. Otherwise, it's like you just start burping and farting a lot. I'm going to keep that in mind. I could also hold on to it because I feel like it will come in handy in case we ever need someone to, like, do a reconnaissance. Yeah, pretty cool. It is really cool. No, how about this?

Because you're worried that, like, if Natty doesn't have anything, Natty has to stay, right? Or Tov, yeah. Yeah, one of you. Yeah, one of us. Why don't I send somebody in Natty's stead? Gigi can turn into a little, like, centipede and crawl around, and Gigi can be my avatar.

That is terrifying. And then Natty can just hang out. Would Gigi not already be small enough to fit in there just as it? He probably is. Yeah, yeah, probably. Although he did get bigger, so I think he is bigger. The other alternative is you two go down there. We stay up here.

You guys try to find us an entrance and do that. Yeah, let's do that. Okay, Gunto. I'm going to take out, do you actually have any more pebbles on you? Well, yes, of course I do. Here's one I was thinking I'm getting to you, actually. Oh, wow, perfect. Oh, perfect.

I am going to use magical tinkering to imbue this tiny little pebble with a five-foot radius light. So it's Team Dunther or Team Team. Gug. Gug, Gug, Gug, Gug. Or, in this case, mug, since we're using a fake name. Oh, yeah. Or gung. Yeah.

All right. Well, then, holding out the rock, which is kind of like Gunther's rock in this moment. Can he go in? Yeah, so the rock is imbued with a magical light? Yeah, it's a five-foot radius light. Okay. Gunta, also, just in case it goes out, it doesn't last as long as I'm hoping to, just Hold on to me as well because, you know, I got dark vision.

So if you get scared or anything, just Doug will protect you. Okay, that's good to know. I have dark vision, too, but it's still so dark I cannot help. It's very dark. I feel like Gunther, or I'm sorry, I feel like Munther would be so scared that he'd be, like, holding that pebble, like, super tight. I'm imagining he's underneath me, like, all my stomach holding up as I'm crawling. Yeah, yeah, let's do that.

So Doug and Munther begin heading down the drain. with Natty and Toll staying in the steam room. Is that correct? Yep, sounds good. You go down, or you're crawling, you know, it's a very tight space through the drain. Normally, Doug, it's a miracle you can fit in here. I don't understand that ability of yours.

But you Andy-Defrain it for a while. And as you're crawling through in the tunnel, you reach a fork. A fork? Yeah, not a eating utensil, Chris. The tunnel goes to the left and to the right. And the little droplets? We don't see them anymore.

Uh, no, not at this point. They're exhausted. Can Doug hear any sort of like noise or like the smell that that little piece of metal was in the puddle? Oh yeah. Is that smell coming from either side more strongly? Why don't you make me a perception check? I'm not to re-roll that because I was a one. I'm going to use my inspiration die. Okay, 16.

Not bad. It's pretty good. Yeah, you feel like that smell that you're looking for seems to be coming from the left side. As you're sniffing, you smell it. You know, I imagine Doug, like, kind of furrows his brow as he smells it. You hear a voice coming from the right side. Oh. Oh, hello.

It's someone there. Huh. All right, find out what the voice is, find out what the smell is on the next episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon. Natty, make sure you say goodbye and some salutations. Thank you, everybody, have good all time, okay? You take care of yourself and say how your mama for me. Can I request that if John is on second wind, he has a talk.

No, no, no. But if you are a subscriber on our Patreon over at stinky dragonpod.com, Next week, we'll have an episode of Second Wind, or we're going to talk about this episode specifically, and maybe we'll unveil some secrets. Attention, Stinky Dragon audience members. It's the holiday season, so we're having some deals in the Stinky Dragon store from November 24th to December 6th. All orders of $75 or more, you get 10% off, but if you spend more, you save more. Orders of $100 or more get 15% off. And orders of $125 or more get 20% off.

Stock your inventory and boost your savings. New episodes of Tales and Stinky Dragon premiere every other Wednesday wherever you stream podcast and on the Stinky Dragon YouTube channel. Want to listen to the show 48 hours early and ad free? You can support us by becoming a patron at stinky dragonpod.com or join as a member on beacon.tv. Both give you early ad-free access and members-only discord for each platform. Looking for even more stinky content and community perks, our Patreon offers exclusive

bonus shows, behind-the-scenes content, access to the scene. Stinky Dragon Discord, members-only live stream, stinky community events, and a shout-out on the show, just like Ivory Wolf, Daniel Sweet, Three in Steel, Maco, and Shorty 066808. These patrons directly support the show, get ad-free episodes, access to our patron-only Discord server bonus content like Second Wind and behind the screen and other stinky perks. Some of our friends voiced NPCs in this episode, and listeners who interacted with us on the Sneaky Dragon Discord had NPCs named after them. Zephyr Blake, named after Blake Nelson, voiced by Fouya, at Fouya. Flak, named after Flakes, voiced by Micah Rysinger, at mica Dot Rysinger, and Faunas Apollis, named after Fan of Motion, voiced by Eddie Rivas, at Eddie Rivas.

This week's arrow question was submitted by Lorimar Star. This episode of Tales and Stinky Dragon was produced by Ben Ernst and Micah Rysinger, written and composed by Micah Rysinger, and edited by Catherine Arnold. Tune in next time for another thrilling episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon. So, like, if I recall, the front line is a certain direction, but a lot of things that we also want to see, including Bunlap's imprisonment, are on the way. Correct.

Yeah. And Disney World. Disney World is a big one. We need to make a stop. We also need to go to the Buckees. That's a no-brainer. I love that, Boosies. It's great.

Oh,