Tales from the Stinky Dragon - C03 - Ep. 32 - From On Hyra - Double Trouble, Oil and Bubbles

Episode Date: December 10, 2025

B-Team meets more of Tolv’s siblings and enters a maze of mining tunnels.Support us directly on Patreon https://www.patreon.com/stinkydragon - get access to ad-free episodes, bonus content like Stinky Dragon Adventures & Second Wind, our patreon-exclusive discord, and more!Check out our new merch at store.stinkydragonpod.com ! Follow us on our socials at https://linktr.ee/TalesFromTheStinkyDragonCast: Gus Sorola, Blaine Gibson, Barbara Dunkelman, Jon Risinger, Chris DemaraisWriter/Editor/Composer: Micah RisingerProducer: Benjamin Ernst Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

If you like mythology, folklore, and urban legends, I have a great podcast for you. Spirits is a boozy dive into everything from ancient Greek mythology to modern stories about the occult. Where my BFF, Julia, and I pour a drink and learn a new story from somewhere around the world every week. We look at all these stories from the lens of feminism, queerness, and modern adulthood. And as big nerds, we also go behind books, movies, and television shows, and the mythologies behind them. Best part is you can dive in with any of the over-furt. 400 episodes we've published. Subscribe to Spirits Now in your podcast app or go to spiritspodcast.com.

Word, all you wake worms, swim on into the snaky dragon and imbibe our lettuce blend. True through crew brew. It's a mixture of a swallow of seawater, a tidal wave of tea bags, a snapping of sweetened sailors, a lashing tail of limeade, topped with cherry-sized chunks of chum. One sip of this serpentine sauce is enough to satiate your lips from sinking ships. Previously, our adventurers were startled by Sergeant Steli and sent on a mission to Mito by way of boiling bluffs. They found Firemaster Flack at the faunt of the fire eater,

who frantically filled them in on metallic monsters who filched the fire opal of fireballs. Natty nipped her tongue in a newcomer Kindlekin initiation, and Doug and Gunther crawled into a constructive drain to ran out of steam there. Almost did it. Almost did it. It was impressive. All right, here we go.

Natty nipped her tongue in a newcomer Kindlekin initiation, and Doug and Gunther crawled into a construction drain to close in on clues of the crime in question. Pour yourself a quotation, and let's proceed with this punch in pot boiler. You do this to yourself. Hello, everyone.

Welcome to Tales in the Stinky Dragon. I'm your dungeon master Gustavo Sorolla, and I totally forgot Natty mutilated her tongue last episode. Oh, yeah. La la la la la la. Yeah, that intro is. Like, oh, right, Natty, got into some stuff. Anyway, I'm going to hit our four players with an arrow.

Do it, I dare you. If your character was a patron, what would they submit as an arrow question? We'll spend the next four sessions answering each of these, and that was submitted by Buggy 52 and Blacks Knight. Oh, that was actually a suggestion from the community to do it. That's a good one. I like that might be my favorite suggestion so far. Yeah, I like that.

It's clever. It's meta. Also, shout out to Buggy. I believe they are a smart supporter. Thank you so much. Buggy, buggy. You can be just like buggy at stinky dragonpod.com. Everyone could roll a D20 and let's see the order we're going to do this.

Four. 16. Also 16. Roll off. 17. 17. New roll was a new roll was a. New 14.

Nadi, you're going to be leading us off today. Uh, hello. My name is John Reisinger and I play Natty Wonder, who is a drow, warlock, uh, mom, drag queen, lover of music, uh, has a three-prong tongue now. Ooh. Nice. She's a, she's a cool mom. She's a cool mom. Yeah. Like Amy Poehler and Mean Girls. Yeah. And if I had to ask a question, which I ask a lot of questions, but if I have, I was, you know, Now, put it on the spotlight instead of you. I come up with a question for an arrow. My question would be, if the world was end in tomorrow, what would you do today? I feel like that's a pertinent and important thing to come to terms with. Now, you do seem to, like, you know, be interested in the whole idea of the end of the world.

So that does seem very part of course for you. I mean, it's a pretty interesting thing, the end of all things. Yeah, I would say so. Yeah, it's like there's not much more interesting than the beginning and the end of everything. I feel like if Natty says Oh, you want to go fishing on your last day on earth And then I'm going to retake that I feel like if I said I've wanted to go fishing

And then suddenly Natty shows up with fishing rods I should be worried She knows Okay, yeah, like everyone said, that tracks Yeah, what would we want to do? That's a thinker Thanks, Naddy, I appreciate that We'll find out the answers next time

On Tales from the Stinky Dragon Maybe, anyway, thanks for listening This episode Steaky Dragon was brought to you by By Bloody Fear 22 and Blacks Night Barbara slash Doug I believe you were up next Yes, hello everyone

I'm Barbara Duncan Coleman and I play Doug Boone The Artifist or Bug Bear And my question is If you could master one skill Which one would you pick and want? And the reason I'm asking this question is because I feel like our team is very skilled at a lot of things

But I never really wondered You know, like, if they could just pick one to be really good at, maybe the best in the whole universe, which one would they pick? And I'm just, you know, I'll be curious to know their reasonings. Because it's a good way to get to know people and to make some friends. Yeah. It's a good assbreaker. Are we not already friends?

I would hope so. But, you know, I think we're always trying to make those friendships stronger. Yeah, learn more. Get to know each other. Exactly. And also, if I was a patron, I would say, wow. What great content this group of people is putting out. On the daily, on the weekly.

Man, am I happy? I am subscribed at stinky dragonpod.com. Wow, the value for starting at only $5 a month. You can't beat that. So much promotion going on here. Listen, health insurance. All right. Thanks, Doug.

Appreciate that. We're going to go ahead and move on. I believe Tov, you're up next. Yeah, can you read? I'm so sorry. Can you repeat the question one more time? Sure. or Tov, anything for you.

If your character was a patron, what would they submit as an arrow question? And we're going to spend the next four sessions answering each of those. Okay. Hello. It's me, Blaine Gibson. You-hoo. I play Toll if I'm a male. Orkno, a thaumatic barbarian. Micah fixed this way. We'll not have this mistake anymore.

And the reason I needed the question repeated is because, wow, just like Doug, I am gobsmacked by the sheer value of these Patreon authors. Jesus. sass wowie zowie zowie chris get your hands out of that face get your put that

don't don't face palm yourself I'm trying to make money here man okay so here is my question I would ask contestant one tell me about your

perfect first date and the reason I asked this is because I have never known you know I love life I have always been on a ship with my brothers and sisters you know going to war not a lot of time for romance than in there.

So, you know, I'm kind of exploring, you know, maybe the dating scene, you know, going out about town and seeing who I can meet and things. And I'm just so curious about all of the meetcutes of my friends. I have a question about that, Tov. Yes. Do you think that, like, if you were to find someone, they'd also have to be a Dometec?

Oh, you know, I know. No preferences, really. You know, on my dating app, I just say anything and everything. Okay. Because if you need something built, you know, a companion of sorts, I can maybe help you out. What about Gambot? No, Gambat's off limit for that thing.

No, thank you so much. But no, that's fine. That's fine. I'm going to find something like organic, you know. Yeah, nothing artificial. You want it to happen organically? Okay, okay. Yeah, no artificial intelligence or anything like that.

No. It's funny because, you know, we ask you ask these questions and we've been doing this. I keep waiting for the answer. I'm like, okay. And then we're going to segue into the answer. It's like, oh, no, wait, no, no, no, we're not doing that. We're not doing that. They'll have to tune in next week.

These are the answers. Couple of days early, if they, you know, sort of put a Patreon. Stop, stop, stop. They've gotten it. They've gotten it. We have a Patreon. And ad free. Thanks, Joel.

Last up, we've got Gunther. Gunther, hit us with your best shot. Hi, I'm Chris Damarston. I play Gunther. the crook folk fighter for Gunther's question he asked Do you think your parents

are proud of you? Why not? And I ask because I want to know more about you Because my parents said that they were ashamed of me My parents don't think Podcaster is a job

Prove them wrong by going to Stinky Dragon podcast My parents hope it is because they got two children trying to make it happen. We definitely are over-indexed on Rysinger's in this company. It's a little weird. Over-indexed?

What? Very much so. No, there are two of them. Listen, two out of seven is a pretty high amount. Okay. Let's get down to about one and a half. Chris, we're going to have to marry, make it two Gifts. I like in that scenario, Chris has to take your name.

Yes. I'm not taking to Maris. It means people of the swam. These corporate mergers are getting really weird. All right. Thanks. Thanks, Gunther.

This is a weird episode already. Yeah. It's almost like a few of you have been cooking inside of a garage for the last three days. And your brains are a little war. Three days. Yeah. We're recording on an unusual day at a different time. Yeah, it's like Friday.

Upside down. A little like loopy. yeah yeah feeling good feeling great ready to play d and d let's do it let's dive in you go down you're you you're crawling you know it's a very tight space through the drain normally uh dug it's a miracle you can fit in here i don't understand that ability of yours but you and you duffrain it for a while and as you're crawling through in the tunnel you reach a fork yeah not not a utensil chris uh the tunnel goes to the left end to the right And the little droplets, we don't see them anymore?

No, not at this point. They're exhausted. And Doug hear any sort of like noise or like the smell that that little piece of metal was in the puddle. Oh, yeah. Is that smell coming from either side more strongly? Why don't you make me a perception check? I'm not to re-roll that because that was a one. I'm going to use my inspiration die.

Okay, 16. Not bad. It's pretty good. Yeah, you feel like that smell that you're looking for seems to be. coming from the left side. As you're sniffing, you smell it. You know, I imagine Doug, like, kind of furrows his brow as he smells it. You hear a voice coming from the right side.

Oh. Oh, hello. It's someone there. Uh, yuhu. There is such a strange question. Are we really here in life? Or are we just, uh, is this mortals? coil here nor that.

After Brento is thinking of all these really deep questions, he just wanted to ask more questions. Uh, hello, who's there? We are not here. What? I'm trying to... No, we're very much here. We're asking

who you are before we tell you who we are. I don't want to give away our position. That's something you say before you call out. Natty, are you here? I'm calling. down the train. I can hear you guys

trying to be sneaky and it ain't working. Also, I heard you say, you-hoo, is that for me? You-hoo! I guess sound does travel really well in a long tunnel. What? I said, I guess sound travels really well in a long

tunnel. To summarize, no, we aren't gone. You-hoo, it's me, Tio. Who are you? Tio. Do you happen to know someone named Tov? Uncle?

Take an inspiration die. I was waiting to see if anyone would say it. Oh, yeah, indeed. And how do you feel about Tov? Good or bad? Are you there? You said you were not, sir? No, I'm just asking. Do I have to be here to ask a question? Oh, yeah, Tov. Old friend.

Old friend, okay. Sorry, a completely tangent. it just crossed my mind that Blaine has set up with his character that there are going to be 11 siblings potentially that are we're going to have to cast with voices so at some point we're going to have 12 people doing voices for Blaine's family and it's like it's like a choir of people that will be like voice and it just struck me like how many of our friends we're going to need to get to do voices for siblings. Or we can just get a couple and then Pondulate them down.

Should have had Blaine just do them all. That would have been funny. Anyway, sorry. Side Trek. Continue to talk to you. Okay. So Tov actually is a good friend of ours. I guess we're trying to figure out what's going on here.

Are you guys trying to steal something or did you steal something from here? Are people looking for you? Introduce yourself. I'm Doug Boone, by the way. Hi, I'm not here. Oh, my God. Oh, Doug Boone and not here. No, no, I'm Nunther.

Hey, Chris, keep it with this joke. Blaine loves it. Okay, I admit I am here. I am Nunter. Is that my name? I believe it was Munter last time. The web of lies is so sticky. I'm Munter.

Oh, Munter. Yes. Yeah, I am looking for stuff. Am I looking for you? I don't know. Do you, by any chance, have the fire opal of fireballs with you? Oh, no. What's that? It sounds scary. Okay.

Well, why are you in the train? This is a little oak, but perhaps you could come over here. Do you like an insight check here? Absolutely. Vibe check. Maybe see if like the, they're telling the truth or if this voice is actually like real. Yeah. Vib check. Typically inside is like you want to get the motivation behind what someone's saying.

If you want to check like if it's real or an illusion or something, we can do a different check for that. I'm not sure, like, exactly what you're looking for here. I didn't want to see if they were truthful first, but my insight roll was very low. It was a six. Oh, yeah. Sorry, you got Munther there.

He reads people. It's true. I guess I could check, too. Go for it. I rolled a one. Oh, my God. I rolled a one. Oh, God.

He's just so caught in his web of lies that I don't know. I don't know who I am anymore. A montho, don't, didn't you receive an inspiration, time almost to go. Can I kind of want to see where this goes? Yeah, you both think that they're being very forthright. Could I now do something to see if it's like an actual real voice

or if it's like an illusion? Yeah, you can make an investigation check, I guess. Ooh, 10. It seems real, you know, a bit of a funny accent. But yeah, it seems to be a natural source, I should say. Why don't you crawl your way over here?

because we found actually, like, the place we came in is a pretty good exit. Yes. I'm afraid of the dark. I think they're broken. Are you not able to move? Well, it is a little awkward. Maybe it is best explained if you come over here. Okay.

Can we start crawling towards, I guess it would be the right side? Yeah. Can I check on Natty's tongue? Because I'm not able to hear any of this. Yeah, we'll do a quick little cut just to see what the other. the two are doing. They've already been cut twice on the tongue.

Doug and Gunther proceed to the direction of the voice. Natty and Tolf, what are you doing? You hear the sound of Doug and Gunther crawling away and it's becoming more faint in the distance. So you see, if I do this,

I can have the things on the side go out their own different directions and I can have the one in the middle, it's straightforward. It's pretty cool. You think that you are able to whistle and sing at the same? time and maybe like trala la la as well i haven't even thought of the musical applications to this change oh man of the possibilities oh my imagine if i learned to yodel oh oh you're gonna be like what's what's less than a quartet a trio yeah you're gonna be like one of them for someone who's like whole families

based off numbers i'm not very good what's the number that's smaller than four i want to applaud Blaine's vulnerability, okay? As someone who forgets the most insane things myself, I want to thank Blaine for his realness. I love it. I can tell you about the entire cast of The Predator. I know, I know. Oh, I can tell you the most stupid information about Pokemon and X-Men,

but I can't remember, like, someone that I knew five years ago. That's all I needed. Sorry, I just wanted to check if Natty's tongue was okay. Thank you for the segue. You work on that yodel. Metagame-wise, just for me, so I know what's coming ahead for me. What is Natty and Tov going to do here? Are you going to wait to see if they come back? Are you going to try to meet them somewhere just so I know how to pace like cutting back and forth between you guys?

I mean, Natty, I have a shield that I can like kind of sense. Like we can almost use it like a metal detector. Like we can walk around and try to find like an entrance. You may have done that last episode and you did it by the drain here, which is one of the reasons I think that Doug and Gunther went in. Sorry, Doug and Munther went in. Yeah. Yeah, well, I guess I also don't know that Tio is down there yet, so I don't know.

I mean, we could find another entrance in. What if I said, Tov, I think Tio's down here. Tio, oh my goodness, so convenient that you found my 10th brother after my 11th sister. Hold on, hold on. I bet after this, we are going to find, is it nil? No, no, no, no, no, no, zero. Hold on. You don't know the names of your own sister.

It's been a while. Neo! Listen, if after Tio comes Neo, he's got to be nearby. Absolutely. The Oracle has told me that they're nearby. Take good care of Tio. He is so friendly. Unless he's still under the control of Ironclad,

in which case he may try to kill you. Hope that helps. Thank you. Yeah. Say hello to him for me. You got it. All right, Monto, are you ready? Oh, yes.

Let's just go well. Also, all of my brothers and sisters have, like, unique combat powers. He is highly lethal, as is all of the rest of us. So if he is not on your side, you will die. Best of luck. I'm going to, I'm so excited to see him again. I can get us down there. How?

I'll make a portal. You can do that? Yeah. Why didn't you do this last episode? There's also another pathway we didn't. We're not taking that. It kind of smells like stuff that we've been looking for. It is a sewer, so that makes sense.

It's like the metal, right? The metal, yeah. Yeah, I wasn't going to do it because meta-wise, I didn't want to spend the spell stop, but I don't care. Let's do it. Netticast Shadow Portal, which basically is like a portal gun, which I'm rereading the spell, and it doesn't even have to, I can do it to any wall.

I don't have to do with a door. Oh. Do you need to see where you're going? Yeah, I can see down a drain. If you fit down the drain, I can look down the drain. But would you be able to portal in there and still like, because you might not be able to fit? Yeah, so reading it, it says that the distant door can be one you can visualize

or you can describe by stating distance and direction. I think once Doug and Munther get down there, they can describe it and then Natty can use that. Yeah. Okay. Natty does it. All right, hold tight, you guys. Or Nanny doesn't do it yet.

Well, because I think we've got to get there. Yeah, we're going to do Doug and Munther getting in first, maybe a little bit of dialogue, and then whenever. they're ready to describe it to Natty, then Natty can use the portal. Cool. Proceed. Okay, back to Doug and Gunter, who continued to go down the tunnel

and then eventually it opens up. Okay, what do we see? You come out to what appears to be like a bank on the side of a river and the river bubbles with a mixture of water and boiling oil. First National or like it's a chase, Wells Fargo. I'm just going to click that heroic inspiration.

You are, uh, yeah, we're losing you, Blaine. I think your internet's going out. Breaking up. And you see a little bit of campfire smoke coming out from behind some brush, and there's a metal ore that lies on the shore. Here by the campfire, you see what appears to be a metallic head with no body. Oh. Hello?

Oh, hello. You must be dug. How did you know? Viva just talking, yeah? Yeah, but I could be, I could be Muntur as well. Yeah, because you guys sound. So familiar. You look like a duck.

Oh, thanks, I think. You look like you've gotten a head in life. Oh, Manta, you're such a jokester. What happened to your party? Did you have a body? Oh, yeah. We were attacked by some dretches, and they stole thermotech parts from both me and my sibling, Neil. Sorry, I'm right there, but I'm...

Oh. Could I go ahead and... yelled down the drain back at Natty and Toll to describe this place? Yeah, absolutely. NattyCast Shadow Portal. And that's what it looks like. And yeah, we travel that way. Sure.

And it can last for a minute. So for quick, we can use it to get back. Hey, Tov, how much do you want to talk to your sibling? Lots and lots and lots and lots. Okay, we might have to find a different route back. It's fine. One minute, I can make that. I can do that.

I'll speed run. Now, go. So, yeah, all four of you are there at the bank of the boiling river. Toll just beelines for Tio's head and just picks it up, like gingerly. Oh, dear brother, it looks like you've lost your head again. Oh, it's right there. It's the rest that is missing. Oh, you must be told, yeah?

Okay, real quick. He knows it to me, right? My memory is a little fuzzy, little. Oh, Tio, my dearest brother. You talk like me and you seem familiar. I know Tull V is a friend of mine and you seem like you might be him. Well, maybe I should give you a friendly face to remember and then I rip off my face, my, uh, your skin. Your skin.

It's me, Tov, your brother. Oh, yeah. That seems very familiar. How are you, Tolf? I'm doing so good, but I have to reprimand you a bit. You are just calling out villi-nilly to strangers. Us thomatex, we need to be careful, Tio. What happened to you?

Why do we need to be careful? Well, because a lot of people don't like thomitex. In fact, these are all my friends. This is Toll, Nadie, Moonther. Yeah, Tom. This is Toll, this is Toll, my new face. So I hold up the Bjorn mask. Natty, Doug, and Munther.

His actual name is Gunther. And, yeah, I had to lie to them for so long because, you know, Thumbetex, we're not, you know, looked at very kindly, you know, out here because of all the things we did for ironclad. Tov it, it sounds to me like Tio might have a little bit of memory loss. Oh, that's right. I need to speak slower and more baby-like to him. He needs to close some maps.

You're attacked by dretches? What are dredches? Oh, dredges are. We are evil creatures, Undarians. They are nasty-looking, and they took our thermitech parts. I turned out okay, look at Neo over there. And he kind of nods with his head over towards the camp, and you see what appears to be another thaumaticic laying there.

However, it is missing its head. Oh. Oh, that solves the VO issue. Do you know if Neo is still alive? like his, were they able to communicate still? Oh, yeah, Neo is fine. Just unable to speak. They took his head and all of his armor.

Oh, no. I think I have a solution, at least for short term. Why don't we take the head of Tio and put it on the shoulders of Tov? Oh, God. All right, that's... And then... It's good.

It's pretty good. Idiot. That's a great idea, Gunther. I don't know if you would be comfortable with that, Tio, but it is a solution to help you get around better. Are you okay with that? Putting my head on your body? No, Neo's body.

That works too. Neo's body stands up and gives you like a no sign with its hands and then crosses its arms. I think the most impressive part of all of this is Tio being able to nod his head without anything attached to it. It's like rolls it. Wow. How does that work? It works through the magic of storytelling. Usually, Neo, carries me around.

I'm kind of like in his arms instead of on his neck. Yeah. Well, Neo, I'm so glad that you were able to join us for the most part as well. Tov wants to go in for a hug. To Neo. Little family reunion. Sure. You go in for a hug.

Make a, let's call it an athletics check. Oh. He's a wily one. Ten. I'll say you go in for a hug, but Neo's not expecting it with no head. So like as you get close, Neo kind of turns at the last second and you end up hugging a big chunk of shoulder. Oh my goodness. Neo, it's your brother.

It's me. Don't be so silly. The body turns around to face you. Now that you're up close, you hear like a bit of a humming and whirring sound coming from inside Neo's body. Gang, I know we have so much. on our plate already, but I mean, can we help my, my siblings here? They seem to be in some dire straits and we need to find their respective parts. Oh, they're missing stuff and we smelled stuff that, our, our Doug and Gunther smelled

stuff that smelled like them the other direction. That is true. I think that that's a good lead. Maybe we should go there and then, Doug, I may have to ask for your expertise in helping maintain my, my dear siblings, if that's okay with you. I love that saying. We need to make a shirt with Doug on it that says that. That's a great idea.

You know, after the dredges took our parts, they went back across the river. Perhaps they went into town? Into town. Okay. So we went through a drain and we're here in kind of like this space. Where would be town? Would we have to go back out to drain or is that somewhere else in here? I believe there is an exit over on the other side of the river.

Okay. So geographically, is that in the same direction as the smell or is the smell of the metal in a completely different area? It would be in a different area. I think it'd be like going back the way we came, but then instead of going right, we'd go left. Correct. So it'd be like through like another section of rock wall, essentially, yeah. Well, Tio, do you know what's in that direction of the smell? I don't know.

Perhaps that is where the mine is. The mine. Oil mine. Okay. So, can we pull out that piece of metal that we found on the ground? This is familiar to you, is this part of you? Oh, very good, sir, yeah. I guess Tia would look at it.

Or would you hold it close in front of his face? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's see. It's possible, but I don't think so. Could it be Neo's armor? Perhaps it is part of Neo instead. Maybe it would be Neil to, like, feel around it and see if it feels familiar to it. look to him.

Neo, come here. Is this you? Neo comes over hands outstretched, kind of grabbing randomly at air. Any recognition, or is this just... Yeah, Neo eventually clasps his hands around it and seems to get very excited about it. And it begins trying to, like, attach it to his own body.

So maybe we go the Smelly Armor route and then we follow the other direction where Tio indicated earlier to go to town where the dretches. are. Gunther's in charge. Yeah? Okay. No, I mean, I think that sounds... Gunther, you're talking funny. No, sorry. Yes. I think that

is a good idea to go back. You have a good head, follow it. I just worried that we might have to split the party again because you guys can't fit through that drain that we came through. And we don't need to go to the drain. But if we wanted to go check the other side of where we

had to smell... Oh, is that the case? So you all are in this area called Boiling Bluffs. There are several landmarks in the area. The only landmark you all explored last time was the font of the Fire Eater, which is the temple. In addition to that, there's the crude corral, which is a tavern.

There is Sora Sump, which is a mine, and the Boiling River, which, of course, you all are in now at the moment. So these are landmarks that are known in the area. So presumably you would be able to get to them. Video Game Talk from the overland map. Gotcha. Okay.

I thought this, for some reason, I was picturing all of this, like, underground through, like, a series of, like, tunnels that we'd have to, like, navigate and go through. There may be a way to do that as well, but at the very least, you at least have this option from once you're in, like, the town at large. Gotcha. Hey, everybody, John here. I got a secret. You can give the RPG fan in your life exactly what they want without even having to think about it. Just head on over to hear. HeroForge.com and get them a holiday gift card because you can give the gift of a custom miniature or custom dice this holiday season, but you can take the guesswork out of gift giving by letting them pick their own thing or design their own hero. Digital gift cards are delivered instantly via email.

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A-U-R-A-Frames.com promo code Dragon. This deal is exclusive to our listeners and frames sell out fast. So order yours now and get it in time for the holidays. Support the show by mentioning us at checkout. Terms and conditions apply. Well, maybe we should disguise Neo and Tio so that's to not alarm any potential thieves that we are on their trail. Or we could just leave them here. Perhaps we might be a burden.

We could wait here. Okay. How long have you been here? I think we've been here probably 5,000 years. Yeah, that sounds about right. Oh, goodness. Oh, is that correct? No.

Okay. We call this an unreliable narrator. Yes, it is. Very good, Natty. Neo, hold up your fingers. How many months have you been here? Neo worse and kind of gives like a, shoulder shrug with palms upright and then holds out the number one.

Well, if you've made it this long, and if you guys are going to be okay, I better come back and you better still be here, okay? You get two enthusiastic thumbs up from Neo. Okay. All right. Well, here's T.O. Neo. There's this character. There's this joke in Muppet Treasure Island where they're calling the roll call of the ship.

And they go, headless bill? No one answers. And they go, headless bill? No one answers. And they turn around a corner and there's just headless dude. He just does a very enthusiastic salute to no head whatsoever and puts his hand down. And that's all I can imagine right now. And just for my sake, is Neo-blueish-grayish?

Tio is a small metallic humanoid head made of blue-gray metal missing their body. Neo is a large metallic humanoid missing head and armor. He is naked with multicolored energy veins running throughout his body. When you say naked, no covering. Right. They took his armor. Oh. The panel on your computer is open. What's the color of that then? Multicolored. Yeah, there's multicolored energy veins running around.

He got RGB. Interesting. Okay. Okay. And Tio is he him. Neo is... Also he, him. Great. Let's go to the mine. Y'all. Which mine is yours?

Hey. Munther? Yes. Yes. And just because I'm going to leave a weapon with them. I think I have a hand axe or something just so that they can protect themselves because I'm not sure if they have any axes

or weapons. So you leave one hand axe? Mm-hmm. Oh, what's none for me? Oh, just kidding. Yeah, I see they have your humor atoll. Yeah, you know. I see the family relations.

Our sthometex are known for two things. Our sense of humor and our ability to murder and kill. Ah, you know. Oh, great. Okay, let's go. Okay. What is your marching order, Munther? Bunter.

I'm happy to go first, and then, Tull, do you want to follow? Oh, use your shield. We'll use your shield, so you go first. So you're like, if we see Thumbetech, it will glow, and then I'll follow behind you. And then Natty and Doug. Does that work?

Yeah. You all, you know, begin marching over to the river. You have to cross it to get to the exit as Tio indicated. And as you get close, you see that the river doesn't seem to be much good for drinking, you know, because it has a lot of oil floating around in it as well. But it does appear like, there are,

you know, there is a good amount of tropical plant life growing on this side of the river. So you all begin trying to cross it. And like I said, it's gross. It's like an oily water mixture. Not good for drinking water? Not good for oil. A disgusting mix of both. But not even a mix. A disgusting combination

of the two. You wait across the river, come to the other side. And sure enough, you find a tunnel that appears to lead out and up, back up to boiling blue. You follow the tunnel for several minutes, and eventually you find yourself out once again in the area of boiling bluffs with all of the different areas available to. And you all said you were going to head over in the direction of the mine. Is that correct? Sure.

Yeah. That's what Tio said they would be, right? Yeah, he said possibly. I think he said that he saw them leave going back out to town and they probably went to the mine. And this is a separate place than the smell of the other ore that we... Well, it might be the same. You don't know. Okay.

All right. Yeah. You never went down the other path, but I think you all are speculating that that is the same location. Great. Okay, just making sure. I know. You got video game brain. You want to make sure you go to all the different areas. Yes, 100%. Oh, I'm about to trigger a boss cut scene. Let me go back to this weird room that probably has ammo. A chest. Yeah. Okay. You find yourself back out on the surface of boiling bluffs. And, you know, there's signposts throughout the area that kind of lead you in different directions. You find one that points in the direction of Sorosump, which is, you know, the name for the mine.

area. You follow the signs and head over in that direction and sure enough you find a mine entrance framed by caution tape. There appears to be safety signage every two feet. There's a shelf of hard hats and high vis vests and the shaft heads underground. And what does the sign say the safety ones? They say caution, low ceiling, falling rocks, enter at your own risk. And others say do not enter furiously. Kind of mixed messaging going on here. Doug would go over and start grabbing the hats and thus and handing it out to everybody. All right, guys, you read the safety signs. There could be falling rocks.

I don't want anyone getting hurt. You know, your head is where your brain is, and that's the most important part of the body. So everyone put on a helmet. There you go. I don't know if this one's going to fit you, but just try it on for size. Natty, I'm sorry it's going to maybe ruin your hair a little bit.

That's okay. Safety first. I do not have hair. Safety first. I wear all my stuff. I put one on Giggy, and it just covers him holy. Doug would put on a hat and a vest as well Let us proceed with caution

As the side says It also says do not enter Oh no So you The party enters an underground Labyrinth of oil mining tunnels You smell the familiar stench of the blue-gray armor And you hear large scuffling sounds

Rumble in the dirt ceiling overhead And the mine support beams begin to quake And tremble a little Oh, no, that's not good. Maybe we ought to proceed with caution and quiet. Yes, don't use any loud booming voices down here or high-pitched, shrieking voices either. Tov. What, what, what, what?

Well, okay, in order to proceed here through the mine, we're going to use that mechanic we use every now and then. We're going to use the deck of dungeons in order to generate the maze that you all. that you all are going to go through. We've done this a few times in the past. If it's your first time hearing this as we are doing this right now, it's going to be a deck of cards, and we're going to be picking through them. And the party's ultimate goal is to...

Have a good time. Find clear path cards. Oh, sorry. To find clear path cards. There's several different cards. There's clear path cards, monster cards, obstacle cards, wanderer cards, and item cards. As they draw them from the deck,

these create different actions that are going to happen. And the party's ultimate goal is to, reveal clear path cards that will guide them in the right way this sounds interesting to you or if you've heard us do this in the past and you like this you can hit over to our patreon at stinky dragonpod.com there's a free download if you just follow the page on at the free level you can get access to the rules that we use and the cards and if you want to you can incorporate them into your own home games yeah I love this meta game thing that we do so great feels like the most comfortable boxers in my boxer drawer that somehow sunk behind and I found them

again and I put them on and they're just as comfortable as usual. That was weird, but descriptive. Yeah, I'm glad you thought it was weird too, John. At Chris, at least some of us wear underwear, all right? So, look, yeah. That's very true. I'm not wearing underwear right now.

Oh, now it's gotten weird. All right, so just to be a little more formal about it, the deck represents the progress and perils waiting for the party in the past that lie ahead. So we're going to all roll in, or you guys are all going to role initiative and we're going to go based off of that initiative taking turns each of you will take one turn per round on your turn there's going to be three cards dealt out face down in the

river left center and right and this represents a juncture of different paths the player can take while traveling on each of your turns you can take one action then pick one card from the river course i went over the categories clear path card monster card obstacle card wanderer card and item card whenever a player picks a card in the river the card will not be revealed explicitly to the players. Instead, I'm going to present you with a scenario that represents the card chosen. We'll explain the cards as they're drawn just because it's going to be a mouthful to go through right now. And you can use your actions to help kind of give you advantage just when it comes to it. You can use strength to pioneer path. Dexterity to run recon. Constitution to get

gutsy. Intelligence to optimize your options. Wisdom to peruse pitfalls. and charisma to bolster buddy. That is the gist of it. All right, why don't you all hit me with those initiative rolls? I did 11. 9, 6, 3. Wow. Low rollers.

And everyone write an order from first to last. All right, so the orders will be Doug, Tolv, Gunther, and Natty. So that means, Doug, you are up first. There are three paths before you. Left, center, and right. You can use an action and pick a card. You should have all those actions available to you. I would like to optimize options.

That's an intelligence-based check that allows you to draw two cards from the deck, choose one to replace a card in the river, and you shuffle all the remaining cards and place them on top of the deck. Okay. Doug, you come to what appears to be an intersection in the tunnels in this mine before you, and you're going to try to use your brain power to figure out which way to go. Is there like something Doug does, or how does Doug try to think about what's in front of him? Doug would reach down on the ground and kind of feel it

and feel like where the rumbling might be coming from to see which direction might be the safest, the smoothest. Ooh, very smart. Yeah, the Pocahontas song, Will I choose the steady course? That's exactly how she sounds. That was incredible Barbara. Thank you. I've been practicing.

All right, so my intelligence role was a 12. All right. You try to put your hand down on the ground to feel some rumbling, but you feel what appears to be rumbling from every direction and you're not able to really ascertain any additional information. Including in your tummy. Ooh, someone hasn't had lunch. So it seems like you're unable to divine any further information

about what the correct course is here. Okay. So I pick a direction? Yeah, pick a direction. All right. Well, you know, based on my experience and, you know, we found tall siblings going right, so I'm going to go right.

Okay. I hope that's the right answer. You step on a landmine. You step on a crack and you break your mother's back. You follow what appears to be, you know, what you think is the rumblings on the ground, tracing a line in the path in front of you, and you come upon a small alcove filled with dripping stalactites and what sounds like skittering noises in the distance.

Before you, blocking your path, you find a large sleeping animal. It seems to be a mole-like creature that's the size of a large dog. It's got a thick barrel-shaped body and a ring of tentacles sprouts from above the mouth of spade-like incisors. Currently, its eyes are closed and it appears to be sleeping, snoring gently. Do I have any, like, existing history or knowledge of what this creature is or if it's dangerous? Uh, make a nature check. Hey, look, it's Gunther's mom. Got him.

Do not say that about my mother! Thirteen. You're not familiar with this exact and... exact animal, but it does appear to be some kind of maybe like a mole, like some kind of subterranean animal based on its incisors and based on the teeth you can see when it snores, you think it could have a very vicious bite. Okay, guys, this guy could be kind of dangerous, so I think we should quietly sneak past him and continue forward, okay?

Okay. Everyone be stealthy. Holy moly, look at the size of those teeth. Everyone makes stealth checks. What? Stealth? Stealth. Stealth.

I also think I have advantage on stealth. I think you do. It's that same ability that allows you to squeeze down to small bases. Yeah. I'm glad you reminded me that I have

disadvantage on stealth, but it's okay because I rolled a 15. Not the worst. 25. Oh my God. My higher roll is an 8. You're making me feel good

about my 9. Let me see what Gigi rolled. Oh, yeah. There we go. That's the tiebreaker. Giggy rolled in 18. Normally, You know, when we do group stealth checks like this,

I just require half to pass, but you all were right on that line. Giggy pushes you over the line. Oh, that's what you meant, literally. He was going to break the tie. Oh, okay. He is the tie breaker. That's my little boy.

Boy, boy, boy. Let me roll for Captain Grumbles real quick. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. Diggie looks angrily at you all, furrows his brow, and puts his finger to his mouth. Yeah. Oh, he's growing so fast.

Those of you who rolled well, So what was that? Gunther and Toll, you both rolled well. Why don't the two of you make me, let's call it, investigation check. 17. Three. Okay. Gunther, I think you're probably focused on looking at your own feet, trying to be super quiet. But Toll, as you're walking past this creature that's sleeping, you see it has a collar and a name tag.

And you see that the name tag reads Sinbad. Sinbad? Wow. He was in that one Shazam-Kazam movie, was he not? Oh, and, yeah, you all manage to stealthily sneak by without waking the creature who continues snoring and growling in its sleep. Sounds just like Iggy, but colder. Do we successfully get by him? Yeah, you successfully navigate this encounter. I love your work and jingle all of the way. He was actually really good in that.

Up next is Toll. Hello. I'll be doing Run Recon. It's a dexterity check. It allows you to draw three cards from the deck. You choose one to place on top of the deck and the other two cards are shuffled back into the deck. You come across a gap in the ground. There may be a fissure that has opened up in the ground and trying to figure out if it has any information for you. How do you want to approach this? Yeah. I mean, I guess I go up there and, hmm, I mean, do I have like, whether it,

any like tape measurers with all of the high viz and safety materials and things? Sure, yes. Okay. Well, I'm gonna just take some measurements, write those down, drop those down, communicate them to the group. Kind of rough estimate on how wide of a gap it is, how deep of a gap it is. I drop my tape measure down into the gap, it's very deep. And I could just communicate that to the group, I guess.

I don't know. Okay. Sure, sure. Yeah, go ahead and make a dexterity check to see if you're able to hold onto the tape measure and not fumble it and drop it as you're making all these measurements. Eight. Yeah, maybe you're still nervous from walking back past that animal. Your palms are a little sweaty.

And as you pull out the tape measure to make your first measurement, it slips out of your hands and falls down the fish. Unable to provide any further insight. But could Gunther listen to see how long it takes to... Yeah, if we listen in, we can... Well, wait until your turn. Gunther, sit down. It's not your turn. You're after Toll.

Can I hear the scobloak or whatever? No, you failed your check, Toll. No further information for you. Never-ending. So you've got three paths in front of you. Center. Center, you got it. You pick your path and begin leading the party down that way, told.

And as you're walking, make me a, let's call it a perception check. Oh, 22. Nice. Something catches your eye on the ground in front of you. It looks like an ice cube of some kind. Why would there be an ice cube here? I mean, Sinbad was there. That wins it. That's the best one in the episode. That one got me.

Ice Cube's in bed. Who else were going to find? Eddie Murphy's down here. A lot of great 90s comedians. Yeah, Ice Cube. Should I investigate it further? Or is it just kind of note, mental note to self? That's up to you. You tell me. You're the player. Okay. Well, I get up close to it. I look at it. I get real close without touching it. I ask why the world was so bad to it. Yeah, you get close and begin, you know, trying to investigate it up close.

You see, not only is it an ice cube, but it looks like it's an unusually colored gem of some kind. Oh, okay. I'll take it, yeah. Okay, yeah. I'm going to slack you something for your inventory, just so you know what to put in there. Gus just said plutonium? I don't know. Yeah, so you have this strange, unusually colored gemstone slash ice cube.

All right. Put it in my inventory. All right. That's it for Toll. Gunther, you're up. I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I wanna bolster buddy. I want to choose a player and grant advantage on their next checker save. Oh, that's a charisma check. So that, I picture you're walking down the, the corridor, and who are you to try to bolster, Gunther? Natty. What nice things do you say about Natty to try to bolster her?

Natty, Natty. Natty. Just their name, huh? Natty, Natty. Natty, I'm afraid of the dark right now, but being near you makes me less afraid. I know that you will keep us safe. You seem really emotional in this mind. You okay, my dear?

I am afraid of the dark right now. You a subterranean creature? I don't understand it either. He had that effect from the last episode that we recorded. Oh. Right. That fear was only for that session. Oh, it would have laughed right now.

But Chris, give yourself an inspiration after remembering that and stick it. Okay, yeah, I appreciate the commitment. And that was a very nice thing to say to Natty. Why don't you make a charisma check? Okay. As he's crying. Make me feel brave. Ah, shoot.

Five. You have all these nice intentions and things you want to say to Natty, but you become tongue-tied. Like, I would think as a frog, your tongue can literally tie itself into a knot. Yeah. And you just can't get to. words out and you have to spend a few moments unlacing your tongues. Oh, wow. So you've got three paths ahead of you.

I'll go left. You go left. Did he what's right? Hey. You go to the left and you find what appears to be a minor who is sitting down on the ground nursing an injury on his left arm. What are you doing down here, small child? Working.

Hello there. Are you okay? Do you need assistance? Oh, no, no, I'm, I'll be okay. I, uh, I was attacked, I guess, while I was down here. What? It went that way. And he points down further in the direction of the mine.

By what? Some kind of demonic creature. It was some kind of greenish gorilla-like Undarian. It was disgusting. Oh, no. Does that sound like a dretch? Yeah, based on, yeah, your previous discussions, you would think that he is describing a dredge. Okay.

Do you know your way back? Are you okay to stay here? What do you need? I just need to rest a little bit, and I'll be able to regain my energy and find my way back to town to get to a healer. You must have, get those dretches for me. Make them pay. Okay, how much? Medical bills, of course. Do it in my name, Renee.

You know someone named Renée Seuss? Any chance? Any family connection? No, I'm just a humble patron over at stinky dragonpot.com. Shout out to Renee. They pointed a particular direction that said that's where it went. Yeah. And that's where we want to follow. Correct.

So is that mean we got a right path? Correct. Metagame-wise, that is indication of a clear path card. All right, cool. That's one. Only need ten more. No, no. It's only nine more now.

Okay. That was it for Gunther. Next up, we've got Natty. Natty pays a forward and also goes for bolstering a buddy. and is going to bolster Douglas. It's not my actual full name. My full name is just Doug. Doug.

With seven ewes. How do you want to do that? That's a good question. What would Natty want to talk about Doug? It's Doug been up to that's been commendable. Doug's just putting his little fists under his chin and doing like the big blinks with the big eyelashes. Dug, I really do think that that sauna did wonders for your hair. You got so much body and it's just the waves and the curls.

It's really giving you this exotic look to you, and I think it's working for you. You're looking dapper. I think that's the word I'm looking for you. You're looking quite dapper. Oh, well, thank you. You'll notice that some of my hair stays straight, some of it stays pearly. I don't know how to get it all even, so I might need some hair care tips from you, Natty. Happy to help anytime.

Okay, just whatever you do, don't brush it. That's a disaster. I know you don't brush curly hair. I ain't new. I will double in size if that happens. All right, Natty, why don't you make that charisma check? There's Nanny's charisma modifier plus four. That's 18.

Oh, yeah. You really help Doug with his confidence. So, Doug, you get advantage on your next check or save. Ooh. Everyone needs compliments. All right, so before you, you see three paths, Natty, left, center, and right. Which way do you want to go? Nandy's going to go the way that she shoots, which is straightforward.

She's a straight shooter. All right. You picked the center path, and as you are walking down the path, you hear what appear to be the shuffling of feet. And before you, you find a fellow Kindlekin Akelyte, who seems startled at you walking up. Oh, you scared me. Hello, fellow Akelyte, and I stick my tongue out. That's what we do, right?

We just see each other. I'm Clax. Who are you? I'm Natty Wonder. Pleasure to meet you, Natty Wonder. I don't recognize you. Are you a new acolyte? I'm brand spake and new.

Like maybe two weeks ago. Yeah, you see, the blood is still there from when we got in their tongue. That's why I was laughing. I was just sitting going, blah. Ah. Are you also down here searching for the fire opal of fireballs? I mean, yeah.

Are you? Yeah. Why else would I be down here in this cursed place? Is that like a saying or is that a literal thing? Because we do live in a world with literal curses. Oh, no. It just stinks down here. It's hot and disgusting.

Ugh. I'd much rather be back at the font. Why'd you come down here to find the fire? Is because you just believe in the cause that much you want to help? Oh, absolutely. We must do whatever we can do to get to the fire opal of fireballs. Is there anything I can do to help you as a fellow? Ackle. I can help you or your friends. Are you, are you hungry? Do you need water?

Yeah. You know what? Cracks? Come here. Come here. I got big, I got, I got big favor. I know we just met, but I feel like I can trust you. Okay. Uh-huh. You see that little something, something over there? He needs his diaper changed. Oh, God. Are you pointing at Gunther or? I'm pointing at Toll. Yes, I'm pointing at Giggy. You know, I'm going to be straightforward. I just don't feel like doing it. You know, sometimes moms just don't want to do it again. And you know what? You offer it to help, and I'm going to take it. Oh, okay, sure. I'm happy to help, Natty. Do you have a fresh diaper? Yes. I mean, you got your diaper bag on you, right? I do. It's in my hair.

Like any responsible mother. Yes, I do have a diaper. And I would say, whatever you do, stay away from the teeth. Okay. Don't worry. It's not my first time changing a diaper, Natty. Yeah, this is going to be a new way for you. This is going to be a new experience. Quacks takes the diaper. I'll make a check here to see how this goes. Three, great. Oh, God.

Oh, my gosh. It was the number three? That's where he wears the number two. That's exactly how I would imagine Gus would roll if Gus were to change a diaper. Absolutely. So Quacks takes the clean, fresh diaper with a lot of enthusiasm and approaches Gigi and begins trying to change the giggy. But Gigi is having none of it. Giggy before Quacks approaches notices that what's going to happen.

and then like Jason Statham and Transporter, rolls around on all the oil that Gigi can find so he can't be held on to. Yeah, it's like a greased pig at a rodeo or Jason Statham in the transporter. Quacks is running around chasing Gigi with a clean diaper trying to get him changed.

You didn't get it. Eventually Quacks would give up and come back to you covered in oil with the diaper, which is no longer clean as well. And be like, oh, I'm sorry, Natty. I tried. I failed you.

You know what you did accomplish? You kind of tuckered him out a little bit, which that's also a boon for any mama. Oh, okay. So I did help then. Great. He did. He's going to sleep good tonight. Yeah.

What about you three? Can I do anything to help any of you? Do you know the way? Forward. Have you seen anything like, because you seem to be coming from the opposite side of us. Is there anything we should look out for? Anything, any dangers or monsters? I'm all turned around.

There's a sleeping dog mole somewhere around here. I'd be very careful around. him. Oh, you saw him? We did. Yeah, we actually just passed him a little while ago. I'm going to give you a little bit of insider information. If you run into Sinbad, you can distract him because he loves playing fetch. Oh, good to know. I've learned to just let Sleeping Dog Moes lie, so we just passed him by. Well, if it comes to it and you need a bit of knowledge, there you go. Thank you. Thanks, Quack. All right, well, I feel like I did my part to have. help you all. Be safe out there. I'm going to keep looking over here for the fire

opal of fireballs. If you find it, take it back to the font. You got it. Okay, it was good meeting you all. And a quacks wanders off. It seems like quacks just wanted to be helpful in any way they could. I feel like quacks isn't their given name. It's a nickname. And whenever they walk away, it's like quank, quank, crank, crank, right. There goes quacks again. It's those kinds of shoes that do that. All right, that was Natty. So we're back up to the top of the order with Doug. I almost said Douglas. Douglas.

Douglas, you're calling Douglas if you want. Douglas fir. Okay. So what options do we got right now? Any of them. Yeah, you can use any of them. Yeah. Let's do Throoose the pitfalls.

Peruse the pitfalls. two cards in the river, you choose one to discard, and shuffle the two remaining cards and place them face down in the river. This is a wisdom check, so I'm trying to give you a scenario to set you up to use your wisdom here. He's painting a tapestry. You come into a room that appears to be a railway with mine carts, and it's an intersection, with tracks heading in several different directions, and the wind is whistling down from seemingly all the different tunnels and possibilities in front of you. How do you want to approach this? I would want to go stand where there's like an intersection

and see which way the wind is coming from. Oh, okay, yeah. Why don't you make me a wisdom check and you do have advantage on this check thanks to the bolster buddy? Hey. Ooh, good thing I have advantage because that was a one.

Oh my gosh, seven. Seven. They keep rolling into like from 18 to 4. Well, tell about you. I know. I'll use my inspiration. Oh, okay. Okay, 17.

Nice. Okay. It seemed at first like the winds were coming from random directions, but after, you know, observing them for several seconds, you're able to determine that it seems to be coming predominantly from one side more than another, which allows you basically metagamewise to reveal two cards in the river. So which two would you like to reveal? Let's reveal left and right.

To your left, you ascertain there must be an item of some kind. However, to your right, you ascertain there's difficulty. in an obstacle of some type. Which one? So let's keep that item potential. So you discard the one on the right and you shuffle the two remaining cards and place them face down in the river.

So just so because we can't see, does that mean that there are two options now for Doug? Or do you put a third one down to replace the one you got rid of? A third one comes in to replace. So Doug knows that one out of the three is an item. Correct. Just doesn't know which one. Correct.

Okay, thank you. Thank you for asking. It's good for our listeners too. So you've got three. options in front of you, left, center, and right? And those all got shuffled, right? Yes, it has been re-shuffled. Let's go down the center.

Ooh. Gus gets so excited when we make decisions. I say, oh, I know what's coming. And then it's like, okay, now I have to load all the stuff to, uh, to be prepared to convey that information. It's just funny to have the pause of just you, you just delighted. You just, that's just a nice little moment of delight. You. It's very, uh, Tio.

It's very family of Tov. I do have a couple of nieces and nephews and I am Tio Gus to them. That's true. It's true. So I do have, I've experienced being a Tio. Okay, you've determined which direction the winds are coming from. And as you're looking down that path, you see what appeared to be a trail of small clawed footprints heading in that direction. Perhaps these are dretches.

Who knows? Okay. But all we know, better game wise is that is a clear path. Let's do it. Only 12 more to get. I know, you're at 8 at this point. All right, next up is Toll, then after Tollv is Gunther. I didn't like how my last thing went with my bad role,

so I'm going to try to run recon again. Okay, before you, you see a mine shaft that appears to have a rickety, lift, and pulley system. You said you want to run recon, so you're going to make a dexterity check of some kind. How do you want to interact with this? You said it was like a rickety lift thing? Yeah, rickety lift and pulley. Hmm, how rickety is this? I'm going to lift, uh, sorry, blame, brink, but, but, but, brain, blank.

Blaine, blank, blank. What's your child's name? The demon one. Yeah. Can I, can I put giggy on to the, the thing to just see if they can hold it like a claw machine almost? Uh, sure. I will not even make you make a giggy roll. Oh, like test the strength of the poly system with giggy's weight.

Yeah, but also like, what was that game that used to play on the playground where you had the ball and then it was on the pole. Tetherball, yeah. You know, just, it's a fun uncle tall of activity. You know, I'm a wacky uncle and wacky-o. Gigi wants ups right now. So he's willing to be amenable to your experiment. Well, I got to roll that actually. I got to roll that. No, no. We're playing by the rules here. What's normally yes, but we're in the scenario. So Gigi begins resisting a little bit. Make your dexterity check to see if you're able to wrangle him and get it. him onto the place like you want 14 there you go you wrestle with him a little bit but you're

able to easy it's very close but you're able to overpower him and get him onto the pulley and you're able to test it isn't that fun uh swinging aroundee you just hear that like sounded like yeah is he just like it's like going for anything in the air this is just a pendulum that's like whatever he's like close enough he's just in a mood today all right so yeah you were successful That allows you to draw three cards from the deck and choose one to place on top of the deck and the other two cards are shuffled back into the deck. Cool.

Let's look at those three cards. All right. Your three cards from the top of the deck are Wanderer, obstacle, and item. Ooh. And I get to choose one to place on top, basically one to keep and two to get rid of. Yeah, I'm going to lose the obstacle for sure.

And then, hold on reading, Wanderer represents Travelers or Lost Souls, met along one's journey. Metagame-wise, Quacks was a wanderer. Copy. So was Renee Zellwicker. Who? Correct. I'm a wanderer.

Let's leave that item card. I'm a joker. I'm a smoker. Lose the wanderer. All right. I'm a midnight too. We've had good luck with wanderers. I don't want a bad wanderer.

Yeah, there can be bad wanderers. Also, met a game wise, in the previous time you did this, you encountered the duel. Oh, the ghost duel. Right. The ghost duel. Made a pop the video out of it. Yeah. Oh, I think you're talking about Obi and Smarsh.

No, no, no, no, this campaign. You think that's the last time we did this was in Campaign 1. Yeah, if memory serves, that seems about right, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, so before you, you see three paths. Which direction do you want to go? You got left, center, and right. Left.

Ooh, I'll do that. We'll do that every time. That we just Cannata. Every time. Yeah. Great sound. It's good. You go down that path, and before too long,

You come upon a dwarf who's standing with his back to you. And he appears to be... He appears to be staring intently at the cave wall or the tunnel wall. So then I came face to butt with him. Okay. I make my presence known. You-hoo. What are you staring at?

He turns around and looks at you. Hi there. Who are you? I'm Batsana. What's your name? Batsana. What a cool name. Yeah.

I guess it is, isn't it? My name is Tov. Yeah, yeah, it is. and this is my gang, my party, my crew, my homies, my friends, my dogs. He was around introducing himself to everyone. Natty, he sticks his hand out. I'm Batsana. What's your name?

Nattie. Nattie, Nanny, Wander. Nadi. Good to meet you. He walks over to Doug. I'm Batsana. What's your name? Hello, pleasure to meet you.

Doug Boone. Oh, pleasure to meet you. Doug Boone. And finally, Gunther, he walks up to you. Hi, I'm Batsana. And who do I have the pleasure of meeting? Gunther, sup. Gunther, sup.

Well, nice to meet you. Excellent. Pat Sonna, what were you looking at that wall there? If we can help you. Oh, some curious mineral deposits in these walls. I fancy myself a bit of a geologist. Oh, I'm so interested. Like, are we talking iron or other metals that are minerals or?

Name another metal, claim another ore. Gold, silver. Okay, there we go. Copper. say being a geologist, that rocks. That's good. It's very good. All right.

My internet's going out. Oh, just all kinds of various minerals. There's some iron ore and some copper ore here as well. Various deposits of different kinds. Nothing extraordinary, very mundane. But while I'm down here, I'm also looking for my child. I have misplaced her. Have you seen her?

I mean, we did find a miner earlier in Renee. No, no. Uh, we also found a person named Quacks, but I don't think that that's your person either. No? No. What does your child look like? Oh, she's the spitting image of me, just smaller, puts his hand, like, in the waist high. What does Batsana look like? A very disheveled looking dwarf with a matted beard.

So does, does your daughter also have a beard? Well, of course. Silly me, okay. Uh, uh, how do you feel about children, Tov? Are you a fan? Me? Oh, you know, we've got a giggy. I've got, you know, that's more than enough for me. He's a fun uncle.

I'm the fun uncle, that's right, yeah. So we got our hands full. We're not looking to adopt. Thank you. But you never thought of having your own. I don't know if I'm capable of having my own. I don't know if Betzana necessarily knows that. Probably not, you know.

Hmm. So is it a deal breaker in a relationship if you meet someone and they do have a kid? This is getting deep. I didn't know that this was that. That's a kind of interaction. I mean, no. I don't. Are you making lovey-dovey eyes?

It's me or? I'm not into beards, you know? I'm the beard guy, you know? Well, I forgot to tell you. I set up a dating app and then I had the meetup spot be exactly this location. A blind date in a cave. Wow. Oh, guys, thank you so.

What? How thoughtful of you all. Oh, you're welcome. Just trying to, you know, do it solid. Right. Right. Help you meet someone with a kid. I can't.

We will keep our eyes out for little bats, bats on a. What's, what was her name again? Zatana. Zat Bona. Write that down, Zat Bona. It's a family name. I see, I see. Which part?

The at part? Because that's the only consistent. Anna. Anna. Ah. Tasnabba. Whole family. What about you, Gunther Sup?

Do you like kids? I love kids. I think about my kids now that you bring him up and I am sad. I am also missing children, but I know exactly where they are. It's the opposite. That doesn't seem like a problem. Well, I missed them. Oh, I see, I see.

Yes. How many children do you have? Shoot. What did I say? 46? Or is that my... Was that how many kids I had or how many wives I had? I can't remember.

Hard to keep track. 51. Oh, wait. No, that was my... siblings. Shoot. Anyway. Yes, kids are great. Wow. That's a lot of children, Gunther. Good luck with that. I hope it works out.

I hope you find yours. Yeah, Zadana. Yes. We got a weird vibe. I guess we've got to get going. Yeah, yeah. Enjoy those minerals. Oh, okay. Well, if you see Zadbana, send her my way. Okay, we'll do. It'll do. Of course, course, course. See later. Okay, bye.

Was there a light source or were they just in the dark? staring at the wall, kind of like Blair Witch project style. It's dimly lit by torches that are very far apart, but, of course, they have dark vision. Okay. They're at home in tunnels underground in mind. Do they watch us walk away?

Yeah, I'll say Badzana's waving enthusiastically as you all walk away. I like them. Me too. Bad vibes. Badzana comes running up. Oh, you like me? I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. Join the party. Let's go. Oh, my God. No, no, do not want that.

of NPCs. And we see you later. Nice. And again, metagame perspective. That's another wanderer. God. So you get an idea for what you're encountering. That's on and Zibana.

That's it for Tov. So Gunther, you're up. Yeah. Okay. I shall also run recon. Gunther's going to skitter ahead. Sneakly. Check out the place.

You come into a room that seems to have a pool of crude oil that boils and bubbles every. so often. You're going to go ahead and try to run recon and scout ahead and figure out the best way to go. So why don't you make me a dexterity check? With pleasure. I rolled a nine. I've had such bad roles. We find the Skellington of Zatbana. I've had the wrong Slack channel open for a long time. Blaine, were you not going to tell me I sent you a random slack about an NPC? I don't know, man. You're getting out there in years and I just I just kind of go with the flow. Mike is really not telling me.

He hasn't responded to him my NPC thing. I was just like, oh, he's been talking to me this whole time. Okay, Gunther, you made that dexterity check, and what was that check? It was a lowly nine, Gus. Ooh. Yeah, you try to get your way around the various hazards, you know, this pool of crude oil, but you accidentally get, you know, step in it a little bit, and it gets a little bit, gets on your foot, and it distracts you,

and you're, like, sliding a little bit because of the oil. You're not able to really figure out any additional information. Rude oil. More like rude oil. Very rude. Very rude. But you still do have three paths in front of you can go left, center, or right. Right.

Okay. So help me if this is another wanderer. I like the wanderers. You're looking at all the different options, and you look to the right, and you begin sniffing the air. And you catch a whiff of what appears to be a some kind of fetid odor coming from the path to the right. You recognize it as the foul smench. Foul smench. Foul stench from earlier.

Ah, what a smench, that's that. Yeah, and you feel like you're getting even closer to your goal. So, yes, that is a clear path. Right. Let's go. Also, we found our new big bad, sminch. Sminch. Sminch, quench.

That is Gunther. So next up, we have Natty. Yeah, we do. None of the cards in the river are revealed right now. None are revealed. You walk into a room and you find what appears to be a craned platform dangling over a chasm. Let's do something weird. Let's optimize our options.

Ooh. Optimize options. It's an intelligence check. If successful, it allows you to draw two cards from the deck. Choose one to replace a card in the river. Shuffle the remaining cards and place them on top of the deck. What of your intelligence? What of your brains are you going to use here, Natty?

I'll say there's a crane over a, like what a chasm? Is that what you said? Yeah, chasm. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Okay. Natty, well, Natty is from the underground, drows. And so Natty will actually get to the edge of the chasm and really use her drow vision to see, like, what's going on? Is there like, is there a bottom to this chasm?

Is there something across the way we can get to? Do we have to cross this casem? Just kind of, you know, using, using, she's, this is more like recon, but I'm doing, I'm doing optimizing my options of what we should do with my eyes. That's smart. See, intelligence. There's more. Smort. Ooh.

She rolled decent. 18 plus 1. 19. Oh, yeah. That is a success. So that allows you to draw two cards from the deck. Those two cards you draw are a monster and a wanderer. I keep one.

Kill them both. Yeah, you can choose one to replace a card in the river. Take the monster card. Please, no more wanderers. Please. Okay, I'll take the monster card. No, no. All right.

So, Natty takes the monster card. and you replace a card in the river. Which one do you want to replace? Wait, what? Left center or right. Oh, oh. I was like, I didn't think you were asking like which position. I don't know what the other cards are.

Left. Left. Okay. Place the left with that. And I'm going to shuffle the remaining cards and place them on top of the deck. All right. So that leaves you with three options, Natty. Left, center, or right.

I think I'm confused. I don't know what just happened. So I picked the monster. Where did you put the monster? where you said, which was left. Is that what we did? I thought we shuffled the cards in the river after you did the optimizing option. We shuffled the remaining

cards and placed them on top of the deck, so like the others that were off to the side. Okay, okay, cool. This is good because I love having these clarifications for people who are listening who may want to play this on their own at home. Yeah, I'm doing it for them. Yeah, we make sure that we pretend not to understand things so that we could explain

it better for you guys. That's a whole podcast. Chris is the best at that. He is the total lens for the audience. Yeah, like when you guys forget someone's name or any details, he's got you covered. Difference between blinds and a window. We weren't rolling there. That's an inside joke.

That's for us. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I pick right. Okay, you pick right. So don't say it. No, no, no, no. I'm laughing about something else, which I was going to be like, if someone's like, hey, there's stranger, it's like, get out of the caves.

So, metagame wise, you pulled a monster card. which does not trigger a monster to appear immediately. It's meant to represent menacing individuals or creatures that are lurking in the shadows closing in on you guys. And when drawn, the monster card is discarded, but the party receives one strike. And a strike represents the party's presence being made known to monsters nearby. And once the party receives two strikes, they encounter a threatening monster. So I'm just writing down the- That's not how baseball works.

Two strikes and you fight. That's Canadian baseball. You're proceeding down the path. And you feel like in the darkness behind you and the head of you, you can hear growling and snarling and guttural sounds. It sounds very menacing. I have a feeling we shouldn't go that way. Maybe it's another mole dog. We're not alone in this cave.

Well, clearly we're not. We've met like 50 people. It's like quite 50 down here. A convention in this cave. I don't think that caution tape or signs did anything. No. But it didn't stop you guys. We should have listened.

All right. That's it for a natty. So we're back up to the top with Doug. and after Doug is told. You've got three clear pass? Correct. You have three clear path cards. Okay.

And I could do any of them? Correct. Let's do getting gutsy. Getting gutsy. You walk into a room that has a pitch black pit in it with heat rising dangerously from up inside of the pit. And you choose to get gutsy, which is a constitution check. What do you use that musters up your constitution, Doug? I close my eyes and try to use the best of my, like, what I've learned from meditation and calming myself, but also to muster the strength of going, okay, you're not going to be afraid.

While you're picturing in your mind is probably a lot scarier than what is actually in real life. So you're going to go forward and you're going to take a big little jump. Oh, look at that. I like that. That's really good. Really descriptive. Yeah, why don't you go to make that Constitution check? Fear is the mind killer. You're right, Doug. Ugh, 10. Yeah, you do your best to try to convince yourself and muster up the strength, but that fear still is sitting inside of you. It's difficult to quash, especially with all the scary sounds in the distance. That feels part of the course for old Doug Boone here.

I'm working on it. It's a process. You'll get there. Yeah. All right. So you're left with three options, left, center, and right. Let's pick right. You pick the right.

Ooh. Oh. Oh. That's rolled a one. I saw that. I roll lots of things. What do you roll a one for? What he's going to have for lunch?

He has a D6 and six different things. Pizza, sandwich, hamburger. I'm going to use a real dye from now on for these. A box of uncrustables? Macaroni. The other box of uncrustables. If you were to build a giant uncrustable out of uncrustables with the edge of the giant uncrustable,

count as a crust of the giant uncrustable. There's no crust. Is that like a vocal warm-up? Like how many wood could it would chuck-ch-ch? Yeah. I think it's a gas leak in Chris's house. There's a dangerous amount of carbon monoxide. How long's that gas leak been going on, Blaine?

Maybe you should close his windows slash curtains. That's the stupidest insight joke ever. It's the dumbest thing. But keep it in. I like how dumb it's getting. I want the community wondering, what's this whole blinds and windows? thing.

No, no. All right, Doug, you enter a room that appears to be a huge round cavern with an overturned mine cart in it, with small, child-sized burrows dug throughout, and what appears to be a giant centipede corpse blocking your path. Oh, gross. Very descriptive room. Yeah. Rest in peace, said Bonna.

Because they're child-sized. This is where we learn that Tov has, like, face blindness. and can't actually tell, like, organic creatures apart. Oh, my God. Uh, it feels a little dangerous in here, but, uh, Hey, Gunther, you're very familiar with burrows. So, you take a look at those and tell me if you think anything might be under there or do you think they're empty? I would be proud.

Can I assist with that? Yeah, make an investigation check. Oh, 16. 16, yeah, you go over and take a look at the burrows. and it seems like these were, you know, obviously dug from the room that you're in. They're dug down pretty shallowly, and I'll say you do find something. You know, as you dig around, you find various other small pieces of smaller centipedes in each of these burrows. Like babies?

Like legs. Oh. There's a weird room. I don't feel so good about being in here. Maybe we should get out of here. Let's pretend we have a bunch of legs like a centipede and roll out. Yeah. Is the centipede, like, looks like it was attacked?

It looks like it's been attacked and chopped up. Ooh. And then the pieces were buried. And then these pieces that are in the burrows, they don't look like they belong to the giant centipede corpse. These look like pieces from smaller centipedes. Hmm. Weird.

Baby centipedes. Can, uh, or I'll, this is Doug's room. No, I mean, we're all in here to ghetto. Well, I was going to say, what about that overturned mine cart? Oh, yeah. Let's go look at that. Could Doug go take a look at the overturned mine cart? Yeah. What do you want to do? Like you want to look under it, see what it's covering, or you want to like...

I assume, like, without having to lift it, if it's something that's like made of a few pieces, there's probably cracks I could peek into to see if there's anything under it. Yeah, that makes sense. Without actually, like, releasing anything that might be under there. Yeah, make me an investigation check. I have a plus four. That is a nine, so that's a 13. 13, yeah. You go up and yeah, there's a, you know, a small hole punched in the side of the mine car, probably from years of use. And, you know, you put your eye up to it and take a look inside, and you see some tools. You see a hand drill and a pickaxe in there.

And what appear to be some various chunks of metal. Oh. Actually, this stuff might be kind of useful. And as you're looking at it and you turn to convey that to your party, the mine cart gets overturned and three armored dredges jump out from under the mine cart. No, farts. Monster card! Yeah, holding up weapons and menacing you all. Everyone going to roll initiative.

Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, gosh. And we're going to pick up that fight on the next episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon. No. K-fight. Yeah, medigame-wise, that was a monster card. Yeah.

Thanks for listening, everybody. We're going to find out what the status is, how this fight's going to go, and learn a lot more in the next episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon. We're here to fight the evil sminch. Smedch for Zatbana and Renee. Yes, and Quacks. All right, thanks for listening, everybody.

Quacks, I could take her leave. Felicitations, my foul-smelling fans. I have some news to tell you. We are releasing a new tavern tale called Meal Walkers and the Crystal Shire. It is GMed by myself, Michael Risinger. Remember, we dive into a different RPG, and we're going to release the episode zero, which is like us creating characters, and we play some of the game.

We talk about the rules a little bit, and we've got to get to build the world as we go, which is really, really fun. You get to check that out publicly. You don't have to be a patron on December 3rd. It's free for everybody, people. Everybody. You can't say no word of free. That's so awesome.

Anyways, beyond that, the next week will release the official first episode of Meal Walkers on December 10th. And that's exclusively only privately, exclusively. I also can stay at four patrons at stinky dragonpod.com. So if you want to watch the rest of the show, you got to go there and you got to sign up. And what's cool about that, the same night, we're going to do a watch party. So if you want to hang out with us as we're like all listening and watching the episode together, it's going to be so much fun. You're going to want to be a part of this. trust me. It's a really fun adventure. I love GMing it. Everybody loved playing it,

so come check it out. New episodes of Tales from the Stinky Dragon premiere every other Wednesday wherever you stream podcasts and on the Stinky Dragon YouTube channel. I want to listen to the show 48 hours early and ad free, free, free, free. You can support us by becoming a patron, like I said, at stinky dragonpod.com, or you can join us as a member on Beacon.tv. Both give you early ad-free access and a member's only discord for each of their respective platforms. Looking for even more stinky content and community perks. Our Patreon offers exclusive bonus shows behind the scenes content, access to the Stinky Dragon Discord, Discord, Discord, Discord, members-only live streams, stinky community events,

and a shout-out on the show, just like Vulgar Marcus. Don't Nug it. Nope. Doe Nug Cat. Don't-Nug-Cat. Got it. Robb-B-B-B-Boh. There's three bees. Lauren. Pretty simple. Thank you, Lauren. one, grantee DR1, something like that. Anyway, like those patrons, they directly support the show, get ad-free episodes, access to our patron on a Discord server, bonus content like second one in behind the screen, and other stinky perks. Once again, at stinky dragonpod.com. Stinkyragonpowd.com. We are incredibly grateful for your support, which makes this show Possible. Some of our friends voiced NPCs in this episode, and listeners who interacted with us on the Stinky Dragon Discord had MPCs named after them.

Tio, voiced by Will Earl at D&D underscore shorts. Sinbad named after Sinbad the third. Renee, named after Slim Boy 025. Quacks, named after

Mr. Happy Duck, voiced by Emily Hatfield at Emily Hatfield from the Clutch My Pearls podcast. You can listen to Clutch My Pearls on podcast platform. You can follow them

at Clutch My Pearls Pod everyone on the internet and support them on Patreon. Bat Zana, named after Bat, D-Y-K-E, voiced by Jeff Ramsey, at Jeff L. Ramsey, from the Regulation Podcast at the Regulation Pod, available on podcast platforms and on Patreon. This week's Arrow Question was submitted by Buggy 52 and Black 5 Night. This episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon was produced by Ben Ernst and myself, Michael Reisinger. It was written editing composed by me, Michael Reisinger, with additional editing work by Catherine Arnold.

Listen up, tune in next time for another thrilling episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon. Hello everyone, welcome to Doug on the ones and twos. I was waiting for everyone to leave the room before we started today's broadcast because I'm a little shy. into another recording. It sounds like Blaine forgot to mute his mic, and Dutch has followed him out of his hours. Anyways, hello, welcome to Doug on the ones and twos. Coming at you, uh, you know, mid-episode, we're about to explore some minds and maybe play a little bit of cards,

but we mentioned a deck of dungeons, which is available for free download on the Patreon. That's sticky dragonpod.com. A little plug for you guys. And, uh, you know, some of you might have heard that Doug is actually trying out a little bit of a show, a little pilot episode for Dog on the Wards and 2.

So, you know, maybe at the time of this episode coming out, that's available. If not, it will be on the Patreon. As again, Stinky Dragonpot.com. Oh, hello, Micah. You've been listening this whole time. The whole time. Oh, that's only a little creepy.

It's because we're about to go into the deck of dungeons. The deck of dungeons. This is where our lightnings. strike and thunder happening. Oh, that was lightning. Okay. Oh, yes.

Doug's not as good as the sounds as you are, even though he has a radio show. I thought it was exploding for a second. It's a synerciferable sound effects, really. Very excited. It's going to be perilous. This is going through a door. Wow, that door needs some oil on the hinges. Pue, pew, pew, pew, pew, back to the show.

Or in maybe this case, the end of the episode. Yeah.