Tales from the Stinky Dragon - C03 - Ep. 36 - From On Hyra - No Guard Feelings

Episode Date: February 4, 2026

Brutaleam does what they do best - causing chaos during a prison guard brawl.Support us directly on Patreon https://www.patreon.com/stinkydragon - get access to ad-free episodes, bonus content like Stinky Dragon Adventures & Second Wind, our patreon-exclusive discord, and more!Check out our new merch at store.stinkydragonpod.com ! Follow us on our socials at https://linktr.ee/TalesFromTheStinkyDragonCast: Gus Sorola, Blaine Gibson, Barbara Dunkelman, Jon Risinger, Chris DemaraisWriter/Editor/Composer: Micah RisingerProducer: Benjamin Ernst Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Next, they were vexed by a volley of arrows and voted to vacate the premises to part out a plan. Whilst crouching closely beneath a cozy canvas cover, they cautiously crept closer to the Koreanian watchtower column and climbed inside. Now they traveled to the top of the turret and its group of guards, but a new tentacular torment teases our team. Cobble a cup and let's continue this Kokodos Chronicle. Hello everyone. Welcome to Tales from the Stigy Dragon. I'm your Dungeon Master Gustavo Serala and I'm going to hit R4 players with an arrow. I have a good feeling about this arrow today. I feel really good about it because I think it's going to be a Bangor, go ahead.

I don't know if you have inside information or not, but this error today was submitted by Tov. Oh. And the arrow is, tell me. Blaine, did you know that we're getting a bunch of questions from us and we've been asking them? I just, you know, patterns and things. I've been noticing some stuff, you know.

Tell me about your perfect first date. Okay. Roll dice. Roll dice. Perfect first date. Everyone rolled a D20. Yeah, let's see the order. 14.

I also rolled a 14. Seven. Critical failure. Roll off, Chris. 14. 17. So it's going to be Barbara Chris Blaine John. Yes.

Going for so much pressure. Oh, I never podcasted before. That's not true. I've never podcast. Not in my whole life, Gus. What are you talking about? You have done it and your character has a podcast as well. Oh my gosh, you're right.

13, 14 years of podcasting under your belt. Uh, yeah, I think 13 and a half. Get it together, Barbara. Yeah, I know. Well, hello, stinkers. It is I. Barbara Dunkelman, main character of stinky dragon. You got your guy.

Yeah, I play Doug Boone, the male bugbear artificer, who is also Battlesmith. Fun fact. Ooh. And, you know, if I was being honest, Gustavo, my perfect first date would be no date at all, because it's very nerve-wracking to be face-to-face. with another human being that you're trying to impress. True. And that's one of Doug's worst nightmares.

But I think if I were to have a perfect first date, it would be via Zoom call. Because that way you get to know each other a little bit. You have some conversation, but yet you're still in the comfort of your own space and, you know, not necessarily having to spend money on each other if you don't know if it's going to work out yet. And that way, you kind of break the ice

without having to be somewhere, you know, in public and maybe sweating profusely and, you know, all the fun stuff that comes with being on a first date. So, yeah, that would be Doug's ideal. Doug, I see me in this photo and I don't like it. Take this down. Yeah, all right, that's good, I guess. But I know the question is not about, the question is strictly about first dates. But, you know, of course, if things go well, you might have to move beyond that.

But I think it's a good starting point. So I appreciate that insight, Doug. Yeah. The other joke I was going to make is a favorite. first date is April 15th because it's not too hot, not too cold. All you need is your light jacket. Is that Mean Girls?

No, no, that's a miscingeniality, isn't it? Yeah. Okay, all right. All right, that's pretty good. Shot here in Austin. Is there like a calendar of all of those, like, dates from movies that everyone always...

Like October 3rd from Mean Girls. Yeah, yeah. He asked me what date it was. The Back to the Future Day and all that. Probably. There should be. We should, let's just make it. Movie calendar.

Yeah. I'd subscribe to that on Google. Yeah. You kind of blew my mind. That should absolutely exist. There's so many dates that we reference. Man, yeah, that's great. Okay, sorry.

Yeah, okay, thanks, Doug. Yeah, that's good information. Next up, I believe we have Gunther. Hi, I'm Chris Damar. I'm Chris DeMayor, the male crook folk fighter. And I have to disagree. I don't think April 14th is the best first date. 15th.

I have to disagree. I don't think April 15th is the best first. date, if anything, it would have to be April 1st or March 1st or maybe February 1st. 15th is just not first. But, but. Rooster teeth? No, no. Literally first.

Yeah. Oh. I think also Gunther has tax problems and continually needs to file for extensions. So he's not a fan of April 15th in general. That sounds like someone, someone I know. But if we were talking about the data Then where you meet someone Then I have a different answer

And that would be I don't know if this is actually a date But it was the first time I really got to know Punea my now wife It is but when we are Tedpils And so I had just little nubby's legs Nubby legs

And she is very very Brave and Well I was a afraid to leave the water. I was afraid to leave the water. And we were swimming around with all of us tadpoles. And then I had a mean bully. He threw one of my favorite pebbles out of the water.

And then I was just looking at it. And that's when Punei came up. And she said, hey, I'll go get your pebble. And I was like, like, but you don't have legs? Not full ones. She says, we have to at some point take the leap out of the water. and then she got out and she got my babble and then you know what the very next day

I got out and I got her a pebble Wow You came out? Wow, congrats Do you guys know people who like met each other in grade school started dating in grade school middle school and then they just stayed together? I think that that's that's that's that's that's

Gunther and Punya. Very beautiful. Yeah. Also correction because I know people will correct me on this. It's April 25th is the perfect date not too hot, not too cold. All you need is a light jacket. Sandra Bullock was so upset just then.

It was 10 days off. Yeah. I also got my first blister. From trying to use your new legs. Yes. So that was your first date with Pune. To summarize, your perfect first date is getting picked on by a bully, having your date undo or remedy the situation,

and then you giving the date a gift the next day. Yes. If you, it is much sweeter when I say it. I'm just a summary. I'm thinking high level here. We're just trying to make sure that we all understand the points here. It was the perfect date in my head right now. I think it was the only first date you had too.

Nobody else. That's the only time I can have a first date. Yeah, yeah. Last date, because I think you asked her to marry you the next day. No. He got down on one stubby little knee. When you know, you know. All right.

Thanks, Gunther. When you're a kid, you don't know. I just got to be clear about that. I just don't want people to put that pressure on themselves and the thing that that's like a thing. Wink, right, John? Wink. If you're a tadpole or frog, maybe. But if you're a human, probably not.

Well, I did not know I was going to marry her then. I was just impressed that she got my pebble. Yeah, you're not human. Don't worry, Gunther. It's fine. It's different. All right. Thanks, Gunther.

Next up, who's next? Toll of, I believe, is next. Yeah, you who. It's me, Tov. played by Blaine Gibson. He's stepped out of, for the moment, I will say his name. Yeah, so, well, first of all, great question, good question, submitter. That's very good question, very creative, very fun.

It's already ripe with comedy. So I would say, first date, wow. I would, I think I would want to go out for a night of dancing at the discotheque, listening to Abba, you know, and having all the fun there. And then maybe like a nice walk around the ocean, you know, looking longingly into the sea. And then just, you know, bearing it all, you know, feelings. Why not in the ocean? I mean, we could do that.

We could go for a swim, yeah. You know, just, you know, bearing our souls, bearing our endoskeletons, you know, showing off that we are all robots. And then, you know, if they run away, so be it. But if they stick around and they're into that sort of thing, that's, you know, great. So, yeah, never been on a date. Never been kissed. I love that movie. Yeah, it's not a good movie.

Kind of a weird premise. Because it's high school teacher dating high school girl, but she's not really high school. Anyway, maybe it's not a good movie. I take that back, actually, now that I know the premise. I don't. I still like it. Is it really about a high school? Nuts.

In the end, yes. Nguenced. That's who kisses her. She's undercover. she's of age. It's a 21 jumps seat with Drew Barrymore. It's Drewberry? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Huh. Lots of unpack on that one. Well, anyways. I like how the energy just fell off the cliff or Blaine there. Sorry. All right. It's funny.

This is, I don't think this is the time or place for it, Toll, but one of these days I want to circle back and find out the effects of brine and, like, the sea air and saltwater on your Skellington and how that all. works because I never thought about it until you talked about it. You set this scenario right now. Yeah. Magic, metals, you know, I don't know. It's like Atlantean technology.

Yeah. We could just yada yada that's a way, you know? No, I mean, yeah, that's how like, what's all that technology underwater in the comic books? Yeah. If you've ever seen the movie, the quick, quick, quick tangent. If you ever seen the movie, thank you for smoking. No, not allowed to do movie quick tangent.

Yeah, they have to be long tangents. There's a scene. We do have a separate podcast. about it. There's a scene where someone's pitching a movie in space and they want to have the character smoking on a space station. And one of the characters asks, well, isn't it an all-oxygen environment? Wouldn't it explode? And the executive's like, oh yeah, just say we invented the whatever thing that makes it not a problem. Just like a total Mcuffin, just like totally ride it off. It's like that. All right. Not to extend your

tangent, but I have to say, I'd recently rewatch the original Planet of the Apes and Charlton Heston is in space and literally lights up a cigar while he's up there. Hell yeah. In the first five minutes of the movie. It's great. All right. Thank you, Toll. Next up, we've got Natty. Hello, I am John Reisinger, and I play Natty Wonder, who is a drow, warlock drag queen mother. And, well, I was going to ask, when you ask this question, I was going to ask you, want the short version or the long version, but considering who just went before me, I'll give you guys the short version so we can just get to our adventuring.

She looks so offended. No, it's fine, because I'm the same way. Like, my first date is with, you know, my favorite first date would be what my wife did with me on our first date when we first met. And it was like, I mean, talk about ideal. It was in a dream. So, I mean, it was a dream date, you know? And it was actually, it has a little bit of connection to what Tov listed as his favorite

date because while he went, he decided he'd like to go dancing at something of my jig called a disco tech, I did go dancing. And my wife came and took me to this like, elegant ballroom kind of setting, but it was like magical on the floor was clouds. And there was like magnolias all over the place. And they were singing the music. And we danced all night. And then we went and walked through this graveyard. And that was also, and we just talked as we walked as we walked through. the graveyard and the stars kind of just, you know, they wished around and at the end of the day, they formed a picture of both of us, stars in the sky. It's funny because the juxtaposition of like who Natty is in that character and even the

visuals of that character mixed with like death and like walking around in a graveyard and being married to death. Like it seems so they shouldn't fit together, but they do. Also, might I add that this is just another Sandy Bollock movie while you were sleeping? I mean, it's right there. Another kind of problematic movie. A woman falls in love with a man in a coma, you know? Wow.

There's a lot of bad romance movies that have questionable premises. It's true. It's the early, it's the 90s and early 2000s, baby. Yeah, Barb, I like to think, again, just to connect it to another movie because that's the only way I connect with people in life, apparently, is I watch Adams family

and the lady who is like not part of the Adam's family, but then marries cousin it. She's like that where she's like a normal, like, chipper, cheery, like, stereotypical domestic wife kind of person. But then, like, she's married to a little old monster and part of the Adam's family family. But she was evil, though, wasn't she? No, you're thinking of Adam's family values. The one who tries to woo Uncle Fest. Also, guys, love is love.

Yes. If it's an axe murder, you know, go with it. Love is love. My wife and I were walking through Target the other day, and they were playing, you know, that in-store music. and it was the MC Hammer Adams Family song from like the movie in the 90s that came on and I turned to my wife and I was like man this is a deep cut

do you know what this is and I told her she's like you love this song don't you that's why you know this like she's like I've never heard this song before I was like it was super popular it's terrible it's an awful song anyway she nags you as well is that you're perfect first date Gus listening to MC Hammer and Target

you all hop out and you're Natty jumps out from the ring, Doug, reforms into a solid mass and tosses a stinky stone. Gunther, I feel like, does like a combat roll out from the hatch ready to attack, and Tov jumps out very menacingly with no skin, just pure Thomotech rage. Cool. It seems like you have caught the guards by surprise. And all four of you make me a perception check.

Oh my God. Seven. 13. Four. 17. Colve and Natty, you notice some unusual snowflakes starting to fall. They're not pure white snow like all the others. There's like little small black specks falling as well,

intermingled with the white snow. And as you look closer, you realize it's a swarm of skiders. Flying spiders are descending down on the top of the watchtower, covering all of you and the floor. Can I tell, based on the guards' reactions, if the Skiders are a defense measure or are they also taken back by the Skiders? Make a...

It's like a three-way battle. Yeah, it's like the end of the good, the bad, and the other. Man, we're just non-stop movies today. I'm sorry, I think it's me. God, that's a great movie, though. God, so good. Make a, let's call it a perception check. Preception.

No, no, not perception. That's more of an insight check. Make an insight check. Vibe check on Skyers. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I didn't like that role anyways. He rolled an aid on his perceptions. Yeah, thank you, Barbard.

Oh, that's a 22, yeah. Insight, that's right. Yes, yeah. It's way more sense. Yeah, oh, yeah, yeah. And just a reminder, we still have vibe check hats at store, right? Store.Storydragonpod.com. We do. They're corner right.

Yeah. Get your own vibe check hat. They're very comfy. Great hats. Okay, you notice the Skyders and you kind of turn instinctively told to look and see what the reactions of the guards are, and they look, I'm going to phrase it. They look disturbed and upset about these Skyders arriving. I see.

Okay. Are we in initiative order or? I'll give you all a chance here to let me know or figure out what you want to do, and then depending on circumstances, we can jump into initiative or figure that out. I think I would react with a firebolt personally. I have a non-combative solution, but if you want to go, Doug, do your worst. What are you going to aim that firebolt at, Doug? Probably up at the, where the skiders are coming in.

Yeah. Because I think Doug's first reaction to seeing any sort of spider-like creatures would be burn it. Doug, once again, I see myself in this photo. I think I have a good reaction as well. This has very similar vibes of like the Southern guys who shoot their guns up into a storm. All right, so is there a roller? You hurl a moat of fire at a creature or object within range,

so you make a range spell attack against the target. It is eight. Ooh-hoo, who, 26. Oh, I'm pretty sure that's ahead. I'll double-check that. What's the AC on these skiders? Skyders, they're heavily armored. Yeah.

They're made of titanium. They fly so they could dodge. They're working full plate. Yeah. That hits, Doug. Okay. It does 2D10 of damage. And that is a 14 total.

That's got to kill one at least, right? Well, it's a swarm. So in D&D, like when you deal, it's not, since there's a whole bunch of them, you're not targeting, like, individual little creatures. I used to turn into swarms. Yeah. Well, yeah.

Mud knows that. Doug, you see the skiders, and then almost without thinking, You'd probably hurl that moat of fire skyward at them. And it does a significant amount of damage. You see, let's say, like half of the swarm vaporized and then fall to the ground around you and then off the side of the tower as well. Oh, God, I think one's in my hair. Oh, God, get out.

You know when you burn hair and it smells terrible? I imagine that's what's going on right now, too. We're just like, oh, oh. Tolst, did you say you had a reaction as well? Yeah, so I have something fun called the mittens of mushrooms. I used them once on the anna lava con the Volcaniconda. There it is. Yeah, there it is.

Mushroom covered, thomiteck gloves, smells musty, spongy texture, glows near fungus. I didn't realize that. Huh, interesting. Making a fist releases a fungal spray, 15-foot cone. So I can get into the failure and all that stuff. But I wanted to target as many of the guards as I can in that 15-foot cone to just kind of like, before we get into the... all the combat, throwing them off their guard and kind of confusing them.

Yeah. So you make a fist and you blow these spores out in the direction of the guards. So they need to make a DC-13 constitution say, let me double check what their constitution is. They have, was that a plus one. So I need to roll a 12 or better on this for them to succeed. Yeah. And here it goes. Boop.

Prefer if you roll badly. That is an eight, which is a. which is a failure. So the guards are unable to form short-term 15-foot cone. There were six of them up here. You could probably get three. Three or four.

Is it four? We'll go four. You'll be able to get four of them. Take it. That was Gus trying to do the geometric math in his head of like, all right, if you took a 15... He was trying to figure that out. I was trying to imagine a three-dimensional 15-foot cone

and translating how many people would fit in there. I know you. I'm just imagining it like in video games when you see the cone of, you know, like the... Yeah, yeah, yeah. With the fart sound too. Yep. Yeah.

Oh, yeah. Blaine, you roll a 1D4, you roll a D4 to see how many rounds are unable to form short-term memories for. That's two rounds. Do we all get kind of a surprise attack? Sure. We'll call it a surprise action.

Gotcha. Gotcha. We have to be violent. Yeah. I wonder if the skiders were actually nice. I had that thought, too. I was thinking that they're kind of like the soot sprites. The soot sprites from like a Ghibli movie. How long?

Barbara, how long is that intrusive thought been forming in your head? Ever since I burned half of them? You haven't said anything since you're like modifier. And I'm like, that's been on your mind since that moment happened. Oh, you're so sweet. As they fell to the ground. You did it. In Spider, you heard them yell.

Watch after my children. Good Samaritans. They're going to help these other people escape. Let's go in. We've been following you guys for miles in the preparation to protect you from harm. We were just going to make a message above a pig so it wouldn't get eaten. Some frog. Gunther or Natty, someone have an action they want to take here.

I'm second guessing if what I want to. wanted to do, I should still do. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Don't second guess. All right.

Natty cast darkness. That really tickles Chris. It's going to create cis chaos. Yep. I mean, it would have been, it's still helpful. And I got to read you how, like, it's a, well, how big is this tower actually will determine, like, what's the radius of this tower, Gustavo? It's pie divided by, no.

It's about a, I want to say it was about 30 feet of double checking to make sure that that's crew ready. 30 square feet? 30 feet wide in total? Or diameter. Diameter? Yeah, yeah. Okay, perfect. Perfect.

Because darkness is a 15 foot sphere. And so I'll put it in the middle, which I assume is where we are. Yes. And that'll cover us and all these skiders that are now angry. will go after the guards. She can get some of those short-term memory guards too because that would really confuse them. I cast darkness and the darkness spreads around corners,

a creature of dark vision can't see through this darkness and non-magical light can't illuminate it. And so, yeah, we're all in a little protective darkness. You know how we're on a train? What if you cast it and then it just held the position? It just gets blowing it. Is it like quantumly fixed in a position or does it travel with me? That's a great question.

I think if I was a jerk, I would say it would stay in place. So then it stays in place then. There's actually, you can cast darkness on an object and it travels with the object. Yeah, do that. So Natty casts it on her ring. Oh, okay. So it's permanently centered on your ring. So if you move around, it moves with you.

Yeah. Okay. There you go. And then while in the darkness, Natty turns into one of the cards. Nice. And then begins saying, I believe in a thing called love. I was going to say that darkness is her old friend. There's another one.

So many darkness references. Yeah. Okay. Who turned the lights out? Wait, so wait, none of you can see then either, right? Nope. Right. What if we have dark vision?

Nope, no. Dark vision does not work through darkness. It's like impenetrable. It specifically says... Ironic. Creatures with dark vision can't see through this darkness, and non-magical light cannot illuminate it. Yeah, it's a fun spell.

So I guess it's my little action now? Yeah, if you want, no pressure. Yeah, I'll take one. I'll go to the, one of the guards that's not been short-term memory lost and attempt to attack them. You think you're going to try that? Why don't you roll me a D-4 and see if you go in the right direction? But one is the right direction, two, three, and four or not?

Okay. Well, I feel like I would know where I don't have short-term memory loss. So I feel like I would know. Yeah, but it's dark. Yeah, I feel like you wouldn't, though. Okay. Isn't it dark, though? Yeah, right. It's because of the darkness, Barbara. All right. So I rolled three. What was the right answer?

One. As soon as Gus, you told him to roll a D4 and that I heard Chris rear up for his rebuttal, I knew him me as like, Gus ain't going to pick up anything Chris says. There ain't nothing you can say right now, Chris. And then sure enough, you came back with just a, I think he wouldn't be able to say it. You got a sweet talk him, Chris. You got to be like, Gus, I love your glasses today.

You look really handsome. Wow. And then you go into your argument. No way and hell, that was going to work. That darkness joke is really good, Gus. That was a really good. There you go. That's a boy.

Well, I'm not going to be super mean. I'm not going to say you fall off the edge of the tower or anything. But you walk, and I'll tell you what, I'm going to roll a dye as well. Because you said specifically you were going to try target one of the ones that did not have memory loss, I'm going to roll a die and see if maybe you hit one that does have memory loss. Like it's a target rich environment. Yeah. Oh crap. Oh crap. I just read something in the spell thing that I think has to be

followed by the rules. Let's hear it. It's not 15 feet in diameter. It's 15 foot radius. So it fills the entire tower. Whoa. Even better. Even better. There is no safe place or there is no illuminated place. All right. So I'm I'm gonna roll a die and maybe you hit a guard who just does have memory loss, right? I'm gonna roll a D4. One through three, you hit a guard, and then four is just you miss entirely. You hit nothing. Two, yeah.

So you wander around, your intention is to hit a guard suffering or not suffering from memory loss, right? So instead, you hit a guard with memory loss. Okay. They'll be just even more confused. I guess I'm not really strong. So I'm going to just attack. Okay. And since you're in darkness, this attack will be at disadvantage.

Okay. 22. 18. Nice. Yeah, that's a hit. Yes. And that's 10 piercing damage. Stab, stab.

And you know what? Just to make this even more confusing, possibly for this guard. Okay. I'm going to do a try a menacing attack so that they are scared of me. Okay. So I'm going to roll superiority dice. That's a D8. Boom.

It's a six, added to the damage for total 16 damage, and they have to make a wisdom saving throw of 16. Wisdom saving throw DC 16. Their wisdom is, their wisdom is plus four, so they need a 12 or better. Okay. They're pretty wise. Yeah.

They only got the best guards here. Doesn't matter. Roll a seven. And I say, I'm here to get you, boo, boo, boo. A little bit of Gunther channeling Barney there, but okay. Gus just goes, okay, this guy has advantage, I'm going to roll again. He's somehow more brave now after he said that.

And what is that, dude? He's just afraid of you? So they're frightened until the end of my next turn. So frightened, you have disadvantage on ability checks and attack rolls while the source of fear is within line of sight. What, want, wah, wah, wah. I said I like the price is right. That was 100% of the price is right.

They can't willingly move closer to the source of fear. Okay. So that still works even if they can't, even if they don't have disadvantage. So you're doing that thing that my sister used to do where she'd lick her hand and then approach me with it and then I would just be like, uh-huh. Yeah. That's so gross. In my mind, I'm like, there's only one way for them to go. And it's like, they were on the ledge, right?

Shooting arrows? They were all around. I think what I'd said was because in... That's right. Doug had tried to come up when they weren't all looking, but I said that they were all facing in different directions. Okay. There's no railing on these things?

This would be almost like, what do they call it? I believe they call it like a rampart. I'm going to have to Google that. Is that the correct term where it's a... It's like a rampart where there's like... It's walls, but there's little like subsections that are like lower or holes where they can shoot... Yeah. Got it.

I only know about that word from the... Isn't that in the National Anthem? Yes, it is Barbara. USA USA Come on guys Why isn't you Chanting with me

This is fantasy world Exactly America All right 51 states Is there anything else Gunther or is that it I could do another attack But I don't know if it

And that's one action But it's whatever Yeah I mean It's we said We kept it broad as an action So yeah if you take it an attack action Absolutely All right well then if there

Is there another one within reach that I could stab? You think so? You don't know. It's dark. All right. I'll take your stab at it. All right.

Roll a D4. One and two, you find someone. Three and four, you don't. I see. Are we include in that someone? Three. Three and four, you don't. Oh, wow.

Roll a D4. If you roll a one, you hit one of your teammates. Oh, man. Oh, God. Two. Okay. Yeah, you turn to attack one of the other guards and begin slashing for viciously, But you're just attacking nothing.

You're just attacking the air. Ah, they're so sneaky. They've done so well. Local news is in decline across Canada, and this is bad news for all of us. With less local news, noise, rumors, and misinformation fill the void. And it gets harder to separate truth from fiction. That's why CBC News is putting more journalists in more places across Canada.

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Three. 19. 14. 12. Okay. What are your nerds roll, Gus? Let's see. The...

The guards are six. And the skiders are... 15. Wow. I think these shouldn't be called skiders because it keeps sound like you're saying scotters and they should just be scaw spiders. Ooh. They're skanking on. on us.

I always think of Bruce Green when I think of Skaw. I was going to say stop where Bruce Green's going to show up. Yeah. I don't know how he's gotten so associated with that music genre. I'm going to get my trumpet. That sounds like a curse more than anything. I wouldn't want that association. I know.

What kind of music would you want to be associated with? Hair metal, hair rock, glam rock, stupid 80s rock. For me, Baby Shark. That's it. Oh. That's a good one. I'd want to be associated with the soundtracks for Tiltz from Stinky Dragon, which you can stream on music platforms.

Wow. The enthusiasm for that was off the charts. I was saying it matter of factly. I was saying it matter of fact like, well. John would... It sounds like maybe a topic we could really dive into on Second Wind, which is available for all levels of patrons at stinky dragonpot.com. I want to know what showtunes, John, is going to run.

reference that he wants to be associated with. Is it cats? Oh my gosh. Jesus Christ Superstar. Oh. Gus, we all know that you're the Blade Club soundtrack thing. Oh, yeah.

Blood Rafe? Yeah. That's the one. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Great scene. Man, what an opener to a movie. I gotta watch that. Oh, yeah.

Man, it's so good. What were you doing? Oh, D&D, that's right. Yeah, yeah. Sorry. Who had short-term memory loss? It was the cards. Where are we?

We're leading off with Toll, then the Skiders, then Gunther. Brap, yo! Okay. I would like to, as far as like memory with who I had in front of me, am I going to have to roll on like where I last saw them kind of thing? It depends on what actions you say you're going to do. If it's someone like right in front of you, then it's like, it's just a straight attack with this.

advantage. If you want to move and attack, then it's like, oh, you're going to have to make, I'm going to make you make a roll to see if you can picture it correctly in your head. I see. You know, I never rage because I'm always like, I got to save my rages, but I have four of them, and I think I'm it's okay. I'm going to use a rage.

Are you sure? Gus, why make a question? I rage. Gus, why? Gus used question. It was super successful. Do we have this gall of insecurity with us somewhere? Oh, no. I brought him with me. Is that for blame?

It's the skull of insecurity. Oh, God. I'm going to rage. Okay. And then I'm going to use the gavel of Gailstrom against the nearest guard from memory.

Okay. And you use the mitten of mushrooms. So the nearest guard in front of you would be once suffering from short-term memory loss. Yeah. He arguably got the most of it. He got a mouthful of it.

Just a... Right there in it. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, just make your attack roll with disadvantage. Okay. That's a... 19 and a 12. A 12, right? Was because you rolled with disadvantage? Yes, I skank on over to him and then I hit him with my gavel. Jeez.

All right. You take a swing and, unfortunately, you miss. Okay. And then I have a second attack. Hold on, I'm going to make sure. You gain advantage on strength checks and saving throws, but that's not a strength check. Just making sure, I'm just reading through.

I don't rage often enough, so I need to make sure I'm kishing everything here. You're a barbarian. Yeah, I don't say that. I've been dealing with my anger. I've been managing my anger. All right, I take another attack. Sure, with the gavel.

Oh, it's a 14. And a 21, 14. Unfortunately, it is a miss again. It's just this darkness is just messing with your aim, Toll. I'm sorry. It's all right. It happens. Okay, that's good for me.

Okay. Toll is unable to connect. So it is the Skyder's turn. Skiders. And just for fun, no reason at all. I'm rolling this dye. You all don't need to ask me what it's for. So nobody can see it, right?

It's darkness. no one has any way to see at all. Right. Yeah, I mean, I could probably do something on my turn, but naturally can't see, you know. I'm gonna make a request to Micah that I get some sort of home-brewed, Tha-Tech infrared vision, like predator mode, you know?

D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D. That's a terminator, but, you know, it's cool. Same thing, right, plane? Oh, it's not a difference. They both have Schwarzenegger, so, you know. Natty, you feel something crawling up your legs, Diggy, get off. No, no, this is like little legs, almost like insect legs,

just climbing up and starting to swarm all over your feet and your legs. Oh, okay. And you begin to start to feel little bites, like insect bites. How big are these skiders? Yeah, they're pretty small size. Are they actual spider size? Are they like little monster spider size? Bigger than actual spiders.

I mean, they're in D&D, they're. They're classed as tiny, so they're like, they're not like the size of a dog or a cat, you know, if that's what you're thinking. They're like, they're small creatures. Like a chinchilla. Smaller. Like, smaller? They're big spiders, not a, maybe not quite tarantula size.

Okay, okay. I was just curious because they were like regular ones. They ain't going to bite through Nattie's clothes. What's the worst sensation, something crawling up your leg or something like creeping down your leg? Up. Yeah? Yeah. Well, I mean, but the alternative is that you just, you know.

Oh, like poop pooped yourself? Yeah, you know, I don't know. Yeah, but at least you know what you happen. At least you know what's going on. If it's going down, it's going away from you. If it's coming up, it's where's it going to go next? Yeah, they try to begin biting at you, but they don't seem to really, maybe it's like what you said, Nandy.

They're unable to bite through your clothing, and they're unable to really attach with their fangs. However, you begin to start to feel a little bit restrained. Like maybe there's some kind of webbing starting to entangle your legs. Uh-oh. Why don't you roll me a dexterity? the saving throw. Okay. Natty, did you pad?

Is that why they're not able to... Of course, Natty pad. What was that? Dex saving throw, a roll of five. What is my modifier? Doesn't matter properly. Plus 3.8. Yeah, you feel like the web is getting tighter and tighter,

and it's starting to restrict your movement. Matter-wise, you are under the effect of the restrained condition. Hey, John, can Gigi see in the darkness? Do they have total, uh, uh, whatever site? No? Okay. I think the only thing that would allow you to see in this kind of magical darkness would be like a blind side. Yeah.

There's some like imps and stuff that have those. That's why I was asking. Doesn't have it listed on his. I look, actually. Yeah. Or predator infrared vision. You know, like a... All right.

So you are restrained by something that seems to be starting to form around your legs. Natty. All right. Next up is Gunther. after Gunther is Natty. I guess I'll take a stab in the dark. Yeah. Since you've moved and you kind of know where one guard is

at this point, it's just disadvantaged because of the darkness. Okay. Take a stab. 13 and 24. I would hate to see Gunther go after a pinata. I feel like there'd be a lot of casualties. Unfortunately, maybe you're starting to get in your own head

about the darkness, Gunther. Your attack fails to connect. Oh, shoot. Well, I guess I'll do another. It's all that ska music. I know. It's hurt your hearing. These trumpets are too loud.

My second attack is a 22 and a 17. That successfully connects. You do feel something on the other end of your rapier this time. Yeah? Yeah. Roll some damage. Uh-huh. Now I'm nervous.

The way you phrase that. Yeah. I was like, somehow got me. That's a nine. Me, Doug, and Natty. Just skewered through all three of us. But you know what?

I'm going to do my puncture. Once per turn, when you hit a creature with an attack roll, you can re-roll one of the attacks damage dice. And you must use the new one. So I'm going to... Instead of... Okay. So I'm going to re-roll that damage. You didn't like the nine?

Oh, man. It got worse. It's an eight. Oh. Yeah, I can't believe he didn't like the nine. Well, no, it was two plus seven out of a D-8. So it was like out of a D-8. Oh.

So now it's one plus seven? Now it's one plus seven. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. And you stab out in the darkness with your rapier. and connect, and you feel something on the other end of your rapier,

and as you stab, you feel an increased weight on the end of your rapier, like something has gone limp on the end. Oh. What a sublime feeling. Aww! I'm sorry, I'm sure.

Incorporate Scobans. Oh, it says... Sorry, I'm done. I'm done. Okay, okay. No doubt I have killed them. You know, that great scoban, no doubt. Early, they were SCA. Yeah, I guess so.

They've gone rancid, I believe. Okay, is that it for you, Gunther? Yeah, yeah, that's going to be it. And quick side note for, in case it comes up, and anybody listening for any of the rules lawyers out there, I know we play hardcore D&D by the rules, darkness makes people blinded. That's the effect that it has on creatures.

That's why things like dark vision don't necessarily work. magical darkness that's like all consuming. Okay, that's it for Gunther. Up next, we've got Natty, then after Natty, the guards, and then Doug. Coming in last. Okay. When Natty raised her hand, like a little planeteer and called upon the power of darkness in her ring, to turn into one of the guards, she was looking at one of the guards.

So that's the guy she's going to have in mind. You guys you pick whoever that is, and we'll roll whatever needs to happen for whatever I do. Roll a D6 for me. It looks like a normal dice. Six. Okay. I just picked a card based on your roll. Now he's going to cast armor of Agathus,

which should help with everything I want to happen. I'm going to get to the spell. It was Agathus all along. It was. I think about her every time I cast this. In this context, it's scaggathus. Stop. I'm going to leave.

It did. A protective magical force surrounds you manifesting as a spectral frost that covers you and your gear. You gain five temporary hit points. And if a creature hits you with a melee attack while you have these hit points, the creature takes five cold damage. I imagine things trying to bite me might have a hard time with that. Yeah. They have no effects on you. There it is.

That's a ska band. Well, it's a punk band that does some ska. Yeah. Okay. Actually, yeah. Chris hasn't really said a full-on scaw band. yet. Yeah, I have.

Well, sublime. Okay, sublime. He's looking at his Google list. Sublime. I see him. I mean, I know all these bands. I'm picking the ones I know. Yeah.

No doubt. There it is. You said that one already. I know. I just wanted to say. So the armor of Agathus would be my action. Okay. Goose.

So with my action, I guess that leaves me with movement, but I am restrained. How do you stop being restrained? For this, metagame-wise, there's, you probably, you don't know this for a but you can probably take an educated guess that there's a web that's restraining you. You can try to destroy the web through whatever methods you want to try to use. Good news. I birthed a destroyer. So, Natty's going to call upon Giggy to try and eat the web.

Ooh. Like cotton candy. Gross. With little crunchy bits. Yeah. Those are surprises. Yeah. Do you have to roll to see if Giggy listens?

I guess I do. Well, darn, darn I roll a seven. So, can we get like, what does it sound like when you ask Giggy to do it? Giggy, eat mama's shoes. Giggy, eat mama's shoes. Yeah, you can't see it. You don't know what he actually does, but Giggy never shows up. We hear biting somewhere in the darkness.

Yeah, you hear chomping in the distance in the darkness, but you're not quite sure exactly what's going on. Okay. I'm going to let you decide what's going on, Gus. Maybe he's trying to listen, but he went to the wrong place. Who knows? he's most likely eating someone's shoes. Hey, it's mine, aren't they? Good thing I do not wear shoes.

It's true. Gunther is barefoot. He's just eating your feet. Ah, my toe! He's eating one of your toes. You're going to become the six-toed. No, wait. Poor toad. I had a teacher in college that didn't wear shoes.

Ew. Yeah. He walked around Austin streets with no shoes on. That's vile. Yeah, and then he showed up to one day and he had flip-flops on and a bandage because he stepped on glass. I was going to say it's not like gross, it's dangerous.

Yeah. That is a literal nightmare I have every now and then. That I'm like out and about in public and I'm like, oh, crap, I don't have shoes on. Like, how did I get here? Like I have to walk on the street now or I have to walk like, you know, on rocks and I don't have my shoes. It felt so performative and I just remember that the disgusting feet. I mean, it was just rancin feet. Not the Scott Band.

Stop. All right. Is that it for you, Natty? Yes. Okay. Next up, we got the guards, and then Doug, and then back to the top with Toll. So curious, see what these guards are going to do. It's the guards turn.

And like you guys, they're also in the darkness, which creates a problem for me, huh? One of them, you know what them Gunther knows is dead. Four of them are affected by the mitten of mushrooms, which leaves one alive that is not affected by the mitten of mushrooms. I guess it'll try to make an... I'm just going to roll an attack here. but with disadvantage, obviously, because it's in the darkness. That's not going to hit anyone.

That's a seven. You sound so sad. I'm sorry, Gus. I didn't even bother trying to call someone out. It's like it's probably not going to hit anyway. I'm sorry, Gus. You want me to take down the darkness, Gus, so you can do something?

No, no, no, no, no. I know what it's going to do. You all hear an arrow whizz past in the darkness. It doesn't sound like it hits anyone. It flies off into the distance. You hear the shuffling of feet as if someone's moving around in the dark. slowly, like sliding their feet on the ground.

And then you hear like the clicking of metal, almost like gear. Is it the cupid shuffle? Almost like metallic gears interacting with each other. Oh, like were they did the thing that extends the prison to the prison? You don't know, Chris. Maybe it's dark so you can't see, but you do hear some kind of mechanical mechanism activating. And that's it for the guard. So then it's Doug.

Then after Doug is Toll and then the Skiders. What I have, I feel like with Doug's ability, ability to like equate things and use his like senses with his math skills, he'd be able to maybe hear things and be able to tell how far away or where they are in relation to him. Like daredevil. Yeah. You the bat. Oh yeah. I'm rubbing.

Yeah, maybe sure. Do you want me to like roll something to check? What do you have in mind? I would like to swing my hand axe. You have an invention that you might be able to test here. Oh. Is that with me? I didn't send that off already?

No, I don't think you've sent it off yet. Because you were supposed to show it. You're supposed to take it and show it off. Yeah, it basically uses echolocation to like bring in wildlife towards the machine I have. So, yeah, could I guess try that out? Yeah, what's it called? It doesn't it have like echolocation in the name? Is the Echo Pulse Locator?

Echo Pulse Locator, yeah. What if it was like Echo Location, gadget? It just spells out Elga. I lost the threat. I was like, you're spelling Elgato? So, yeah, maybe you have this. It's in the name, Echo Pulse Locator. Maybe you could use this to try to help you out.

Yeah, let me try it out. Yeah. I strap it to my back and I try it out. What does this sound like? That's exactly what I was going to ask. It sounds like this. Hello? Hello?

Hello? Hello? Hello? It's just my own voice that I've recorded for it. That's the best answer ever. Okay, and what is your goal with this? My goal is to bring, I guess, the guards closer to me. Okay. And like, be able to tell where they are in the space. Because, yeah, echolocation, it would, like, bounce off of...

Yeah, why don't we make a check against the dice pool? I need to stop playing a smart character because I'm not... My knowledge is not matching. It's so funny. Why do you think Blaine and Chris play the characters they play? Just got a point. It's got a point. What is your dice pull at?

Do you have that written down? I don't know if I have that written down. I think I've rolled it once before, and I think I got rid of one dice. That's what I was thinking, yeah. Okay, yeah, so we were at 4D6. So let's do a 3D6 dice pull check. That is a 2-6s and a 2-6. So the two is dropped, which means you've dropped one more dice, so now you're down to a 2D6 in the dice pool.

Okay. So you strap the Echo Pulse locator to your back and begin emitting your hellos. Hello. Hello. Out to the darkness. I would say that it probably begins attracting the guards that are currently affected by the mitten of mushrooms. If they're not forming short-term memories. It's like they're having a conversation with someone. Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Like back and forth between you and them or between your device and them. There was a time when I was a teenager over at my friend's house and her grandmother was in the other room and she farted and said hello because she thought her fart was someone else coming into the room. Whoa.

And so that's just my favorite. Goals. Yeah. I was like, I want to be that old lady. Hello? Talking to your own farts? Yeah. Hello?

Almost. Yeah. So you can't see it, but some of the guards begin shuffling in your direction slowly. Okay. And I'd probably be able to hear that. Yeah. Okay. Then I will use my hand axe to just out in front of me.

So metagame-wise, since you use the Echo Pulse Locator, which specifically helps you find and bring things to you, you can make this attack roll with no disadvantage. Oh, okay. Cool. I'll use my hand axe, swing in a swing. That's a 19. That is a hit.

And that does, oof, just two points of damage, slashing damage. And you know what's funny. I was looking at my character sheet the other day and I don't know when I got this I have an extra attack. Oh. You do?

That I just have never been using but also I guess I don't attack very often. I think you just got it from this past level. Oh, maybe. Okay, cool. That makes sense. Yeah. Congrats, Doug.

Thank you. Oh, thank you so much. I've been, you know, I realize after you use one hand to do something, you could use the other hand to do something. Yeah, I don't know why I didn't think about that. Genius. Feet come next.

Beet come next. Yeah. So I'm going to just attack again. the same way. Okay. That one, oof, don't know if that's going to hit.

It's a nine. No, that is not enough. You get overly excited. You rarely get to do this. Maybe your excitement gets the best of you. Yeah, I try using my left hand

and that I just, you know when you try to throw a ball with your left hand if you're not left-handed and it just goes like, unwanky. Yeah. That's what happened.

Oh, okay, yeah. Well, you still manage to get one. Anything else, Doug? Nope, but my little gambot is, oh, wait, is he still out in the field? He's on mid. Oh, yeah. He's wearing Bjorn skin.

Could he have been making his way to us? Sure. Okay. He's not here probably, but he's bouncing along. Yeah, he'll be here, because you all have to climb and everything. He'll be here probably after combat, we'll say. It takes a little while. He hears my, yeah, he hears my echo location too.

Hello? Hello? Just like to imagine he's standing in front of the oncoming train, just moving to board. Just shivering. Okay, we're back up to the top of the order, so it's Tov, and then the Skiders, and then Gunther. You-hoo. Okay.

You know, I'm just going to try to hit. I'm trying to think of any, like, creative things or ways that I can parse out who is who. Yeah, I'm just going to take another hit at the guy that I was attacking previously that I missed all of my attacks on. All right, yeah. Roll that beautiful bean footage. Okay, I have this thing called the Stormora thing. Oh, yeah. where I can like hit, inflict people of lightning damage.

I'm not asking for like a handout here. I understand that even if it's like lightning, I probably am not going to see it. But I feel like it would at least help with sound in my own echo locations. It's not as good as Doug's hello machine. But I want to activate that as my bonus attack first. So yes, storm aura.

I'm going to read what it says here. Okay. It says you gain a 10 foot aura effect when you start your rage and has a bonus action on each of your turn. And when activated, one creature of your choice in your aura takes lightning damage, Dex DC-14, half damage on success based on your level. So I feel like we should have probably done it previously and now.

But yeah, we can do it now. Maybe you want to like... I think previously my bonus action was towards raging though. So I think it's okay that it didn't activate. Says it happens when you rage. Well, farts. Yeah, when you start your rage and as a bonus action, So it is a bonus action on subsequent turns,

but I think you get a freebie when you rage as well. Okay, we're learning. Yes. Yeah. So you want to try to activate this and just like, what's your goal with this again here? Sorry I was reading. I'm embracing the darkness.

I'm going to open all of my audio perceptors and really listen in for who goes when I strike them with lightning. So just kind of like listening ahead of me, who the person I was originally trying to attack and kind of echolocate them that way. Yeah. You could probably also, So since it's like Stormor, you could also ask like the Sea Drinker for guidance for help in achieving your goals.

Okay, yeah, yeah, I'll do that. This is like, do I need to say this out loud or is it in my mind? Either way, but why don't you say it to us? So that way we hear it. Okay, yeah, yeah. Well, actually, I mean, this is for, this is for Niorda. So if you guys can just like stop listening, audience members as well. I'm going to take my headphones off.

Yeah, I'm going to turn around my scar. Yeah, I appreciate it. Yeah, okay, great. You who, hey, Njorda. I can say that. You know your name because it's just you and. me just talking. No one else is listening. Nobody else. Just you and me. How you doing? Good, good. That's good. Good to hear. Well, yes, it's told by the way. Yeah. Miss you.

Hope you're doing well. We're still looking for the fire eater. Is that who you're looking for? Hold on. Let me look at my notes. Let me make sure. Yeah, it's the fire eater. Yeah, we're still got our eyes out for the fire eater. And we're on top of a tower. It's like actually on a true true train. It's very confusing and it's very dark. So, uh, What was I talking about? Sorry, I just got to get distracted. There's so many Skyders in the air, and they smell so bad because Doug burned them all.

But, uh, oh yeah, anyways, uh, I can't see my enemies. So if you can help guide me to them, I'm going to try to kill them so we can release Bunlap. He's like, Gunder's friend. You remember Guntur? He's like the little frog man. He got his arms like this.

Yeah, so, uh, if you can hope with that, that'd be great. Uh, yeah, it's about it. Anyways, hope we're doing great. Cool, cool, cool. Let's catch up some time. Okay, peace, loving kisses from Toll, bye-bye. My headphones are pretty loud. I heard all of that.

I was having to, like, hold them far away and then had to, like, look somewhere else so I wasn't thinking about it. I heard pieces. So you, that's like when you're sitting down for a dinner and you're starving, but then someone goes, we're going to pray before the meal,

then they just give the longest prayer possible. And you're just like, I just want to eat. I just want to eat. Yeah, yeah. They think for everybody. Oh my God, I just want to roll. It's always the same key phrases too. Yeah.

Dear Lord, thank you, Lord. Yes, Jesus. Thank you, Jesus. I just want to roll. Could be for both the dinner. Dinner. It's so perfect. Okay.

Yeah. You commune with your deity toll and your storm aura reaches out. And I'm going to say because of your communication that whoever has to make the dexterity check does so with disadvantage. Cool. It's also, you know, I'm not, hey, I'm not trying to milk things here, you know? I'm no Chris Damaris, okay? But it says 10 foot aura effect. So it could be multiple, you know, if you're feeling generous.

But, guys, you look great today. What have we been doing with your hair? It also says when activated one creature of your true place. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I read that and then I was, you know, just anyways. If they were holding hands. Were they holding hands? I mean, you know, it's the dark, you know.

So, just never mind. Let's keep going. All right. So that is a DC-14 dexterity saving throw. Their dexterity save is plus seven, but they have disadvantage on this. Okay. Rolling right now. and that is a 5 and a 12.

So they take the 5 plus 7, which is a 12. So yeah, that is a failure. So one of the creatures in the darkness takes the storm aura death. Okay, and then this is based on my level, well, third, okay, because next is 10th and I don't, not hear that yet. So 1D6. Yeah. I will roll that 1D6.

Now, 3. Okay, I'm just picking one here that that would have hit. Yeah, you hear someone yelp in pain in the darkness. Fisher to falter, and then I attack them with my gavel. Okay, yeah. Again, because of the sound that draws your attention and because of your deity intervention, you do not have disadvantage on this attack.

This would be a normal straight attack on it. Cool. Tolds me your attack, I guess. Okay. Roald in 18 plus 624. That is a hit. I... Let me see.

Hold on. Actually, I'm going to let my... inventory to decide this if I'm holding my shield. It is not equipped, so this is a two-handed attack. So that's 1D10 plus three. Ha-cha-cha-cha. Gus, did you just notice that growth? I'm trying.

He's like the Grinch's heart grew bigger. Except it's his brain. Three times besides. My skull hurts. I think that's a four, one plus three, yeah. Okay. Is that, is anything else? I have an additional attack.

I didn't know if you want to be. to go with that. I was going to stop down so I wasn't like, and then this and then that. Yeah, we'll say that the guard or whoever, the creature that you're hitting is still standing if you want to do that additional attack. Okay, going to roll again. 21. That is a hit.

All right. Two-handed. That's a seven. Okay. You bring your weapon around and strike mightily, and you feel whatever it is that you hit crumple to the ground beneath your mighty machine muscles. Got one. Cool.

You know what I'm going to call it there. I think that was fun. Yeah. My prayer took long enough. All right. That is it for Toll. It is the Skiders turn. Okay, they have restrained Natty.

They were unable to bite. They're going to move on. But they also can't see, right? From a meta-game perspective, I'll let you all know this now. Spiders have blind sight. Son of us. It's because they have eight eyes. I mean, come up.

I'm going to retcon that. Instead of moving on, the Skiders continue crawling up Nattie. Stop it. And you can feel them coming up your torso and then down your arms onto your hand. And they convene entirely around your ring that is the source of the darkness. Oh, interesting. Does that stop it? Yeah, then as they're doing so, you see the darkness begin flickering in and out.

And then as they totally swarm over your hand and the ring, the darkness falls off. And you can once again see. You'd think they'd want to keep it on because they're the only ones who could see through this. Or maybe they're attracted to it? Oh. What did they do? There's nothing, I don't really care, but there's nothing I could have done to counter what they were doing?

I'll say what. Just to be fair, why don't you make me, let's call it another dexterity saving throw. I'm about a concentration. We say dexterity because you're like trying to like fling them off, but you have a disadvantage on it. Okay. Because of the restraint.

So that ring on your finger, would you say it's gold? So you have like a gold finger? Chris, scahs. Is that a ska band? It's a ska band. Yeah. It's a ska bands, yeah. Listen, there's like three listeners who are super excited right now.

Dimitian Goldfinger. He said, dexterity saving throw. I rolled, my low one was, it was 15. 18. 18. What was your high one? That's really good. My high one was, I rolled, what is that? I rolled 21.

Yeah, wow. Okay. The spiders being climbing up your torso and then down your arm and around your hand. And you feel like they're trying to maybe swarm around your ring. But you do that thing, you know. like a bug touches you, like, uh, especially because it's in the dark. And you shake your hand with such violence that it stops the spiders, or stops the skiders from totally covering your ring.

But as they were getting on it, you can see that it was starting to make the darkness flicker in and out, and that light was beginning to penetrate again. So it's almost like a strobe light effect for a few seconds. But not everybody has there. To the beat of the scar. Isn't there a game where it like you turn the lights on and then off and then you now... Lights on. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I love that game. Yeah. So those little moments of the light peering through, everyone would just like stare at each other just for a half second. Yeah. I look at the body that I just took out and it sits bun lap. Oh, no. Turns out he didn't need our help at all.

He was escaping all on his own. Well, Natty ruined my fun. Oh, no. I didn't mean to do it twice in a row. Now I feel bad. Oh, no, they'll just attack you again. That's what you have inspiration die from us, remember. He does.

But that was his role, though. Or that was Natty's role, so I can't. It's not lucky. No, no, attack me again. But thank you for the reminder. Yeah, they'll try to buy Natty again, but that's no fun. I'm so sad. So is Gus.

I know. Yeah, they'll just attack again. Micah is saying he wouldn't be as generous as you, Gus. Yeah, I'm too nice to you guys. You'll softy. They hit 21 this time. Oh, they're mad. Because I'm mad.

They're big mad. Yeah, big mad. They begin biting at you, maybe on your hands because it's not as covered by the clothing. I have gloves, just to be clear. Oh, that's right. You do have gloves. But that's fine. They've bitten through the armor.

That's the roll. And the armor is my gloves. And you could feel like a burning sensation from where they're starting to bite you on the hands. And you take 10 points of poison damage. And you also are under the poisoned effect. Look at the bright side. Maybe they're radioactive, you know? You get some fun new powers.

That's true. Yeah, there could be a perk. Skiderman. He feels it in his bones. Scotter, man. Micah wants us to do a concentration check. Yeah, I was going to bring that up. What's the concentration check?

So the way the concentration check works is, so basically it's a constitution saving throw. So you roll a D20 and add your constitution modifier. Okay. Rolling. This is just for John, right? Or fanati? Yeah. Okay.

See how dark is? Yeah, they're biting me. I am using a concentration spell, which is darkness, a roll of six. Is that with your constitutional modifier? That is. You try to hold your concentration for the darkness spell, but the, again, it begins flickering as the pain and the poison courses through your blood, and the darkness drops. Okay. Hi, everybody.

You just can't maintain that concentration. Yeah. What do we see when the darkness fades? Who is like fighting a wall? Who is like whose pants are down? It's like blinking from Robin Hood Minutites. Yeah. What are we seeing here?

Gunther's just kissing a guard. Oh, whoa, whoa. They met when he was on the inside. Boy, yeah. I think Gunther would probably be at the edge of the rampart facing the wrong way. Toll would be standing over one of the enemies that he just vanquished. Doug has a contraption strapped to his back that's just going, Hello?

Hello? Hello? And two of the guards are down. Three of them are seemingly in a daze. And one of them is activating, seems to be activating the plank to extend it to the prison. Oh. What's Giggy up to?

Oh, yeah. Who's he chewing? Giggy is chewing the face of one of the guards that's laying down on the ground. That's Mama's little angel. Mouth to mouth. He's trying to save him. He was such a good job.

He's just, That is it for the Skiders, which means it is now Gunther's turn and then Natty. Do I have any idea looking at the faces of these guards? Which one's afraid of me? Yeah, you do not, but I'm going to tell you right now that the one that was afraid of you is dead. That's right. Yeah, it's the one that you had stabbed again and that fell, that was the weight under your rapier. Gotcha.

The one that's cranking the machine, eh? I'm going to go after that one. Okay. And you can see it's like a big circular gear, like a crank. And he's like pulling it. And as he's activating the crank, this long like piece of wood is extending up from the tower that you all just find him. Wouldn't we want to be letting him do that so that he could make the bridge come out? Well, we can do it once they're gone, but I don't want them going and getting help before.

Getting new people. Yeah. Fire or no. Yeah, you can absolutely attack that one, Gunther. Okay. Yeah, I'll go after that one. He's got both his hands on. Is it a two-hand crank thing?

Yes. Make me a perception check, Gunther. Okay. Five. It's really weird. You do a double take. That guard's twin is out here, too. What? What's going on? I don't want to say.

There's two of them. Like, there's another guard that looks identical to that one. I figured it out. There is a short. Yeah. Natty's disguised is one of them. Oh. Yeah.

So, yeah, you were old to six, John, for your disguise, and that's this one. I'm keeping track of all of them. It is this one that ran to do the craig. That's so good. That guy's having the worst day of his life. Like, he's just like, whoa, ah. Yeah, and then I'm going to attack it. Okay.

Attack the block. All right, that's 24. That's a hit. All right. Believe it or not. Believe it or not, I'm walking a year. That's my favorite. superhero. I'm re-rolling

my dice. I'm doing it using my puncture thing. Okay. You didn't like to roll too low? I rolled a one. So now it's a six, so six full seven. Thirteen damage. Stabby. It's a piercer by the way. Did I say it wrong? He said puncture. I said, do not

spin the wheels unless it's a wheel of death. So you do 13 points of damage? Okay. Yeah. You stabbed that guard and he winces in pain, but he still keeps his hands on the on the crank. He's committed. All right, I will to stab again.

It's Stabagel. At first, you don't succeed. Stab, stab again. Gus, I rolled a one. I didn't say it last time because you roll so well. But because this guard has two hands on the crank, I had assumed you would have advantage on this because he's not defending himself.

Thank you, Gus. Thank you. I was hoping it's one of those things because you know how rapiers are really flexible that he would stab in the armor and it would just go back and then just slap, going through in the head. That's funny. It's like a cartoon.

Yeah. Oh, yeah. Okay. Thank you, Gus. I rolled a Nat 20, so that's going to be a lot more. Zero to hero. All right, so that would be a two,

and then we said the one that does max damage, right? Yeah. Yeah. So that's 17? Yes, but then I also have an ability where I get an extra damage die. It is called Enhanced Critical when I score a critical hit that deals piercing damage

to a creature, you can roll one additional damage die when determining extra damage, I take. Enhanced critical. Okay. So it's currently 17 because of the critical and then you're going to do enhanced critical so you roll another D8 on top of that. Plus 7. So

24? That math checks out, Gus. We'll wait to hear back from NASA on that one, but for now we'll use the preliminary number of 24. Yeah, you know, you stab the guard with your rapier and he still keeps cranking and then you take a step back and then hop Ford, almost like a fencer, can take a second stab with your rapier, and he slumps over the mechanism, unmoving. Gunter crosses his arms is this.

I'm the mighty, mighty boss stone of this place. Okay, I'm... What? It isn't a scotch. It was really bad. Mighty, mighty boss stones. The jokes are even better when you have to explain them. I know, I know, aren't they?

And that's my turn. Okay. Well, does the crank stop? What happens when he dies? What happens to the crank? Does it, like, return, or is it just stop? It stops. and it's like stuck in place.

Almost like it's a gear mechanism with like a tooth that holds it in place that you have to release if you want to retract it. It's probably OSHA compliant, so that way it doesn't, you know, slam back in and potentially hurt someone. But OSHA is a deity in this land. The deity of workplace environments.

Take an inspiration die John. That's really funny. Hell yeah. That was a good joke. The Great OSHA. That's it for Gunther, which means it's Natty, and then after Natty is the remaining guards,

and then Doug. Okay. Now he's going to try this again. Sweetie Pie, love my life. Beautiful little Cherubian angel. Yeah, what's going on? Yeah, wait, shut up. How can I help, Daddy?

Gigi, I need you to come get Mommy out of these webs. All right, Ricka roll and see if Gigi's listening, or if he's too obsessed with the face that he's currently... Eating? Munching on. He's crazy from Florida. 16. Remember bath salts?

Yeah, that works. Yeah, something about the way you say it catches Gigi's attention this time. And his head whips around, looks at you and he comes running. Maybe now he can see more clearly. So, you know, he knows that he's not actually doing what you had said. And you'd call it cotton candy before, right? You come up, he runs over to what he believes is cotton candy. Yeah, dirty cotton candy.

It's his favorite. Ooh. Have him make an attack roll to see, you know, if he's able to, like, attack the dice unless there's like another way you want him to do it. Like, I'm trying to feel like, I know you said he's going to eat it. But like, his attack. is literally called rend. Okay.

So let's just go with that. REND! Melly attack plus five. It's 23, Mommy's a little angel. Roll a little bit of damage to see if he's able to rip it all off. D4 plus three, five total. Okay. Yeah, I feel like he would gather it all up into one big ball

and then just shove it all into his mouth in one big bite. Then he's going to be chewing on that for a while. Yeah, then it's like his mouth. this like glued shut for a little bit. Great. Natty. Since we're playing D&D and you've called out that the skiders are swarms, how many swarms are we dealing with here? It's one swarm that fell down.

But after Doug's Firebolt from earlier, it appears that it's only about half of the swarm that had initially appeared. It's still around. You're welcome. Okay. So that's like, meta-wise the swarm long. that much HP, but visually we're looking at a swarm getting smaller and we're still fighting the same one swarm. Correct. So I ask all that so that if Natty wants to shoot the swarm, there is one swarm to shoot. Correct. Perfect. Nanny wants to do that. What are you going to shoot them with, Natty?

Love. And Elders Blast! Say, they're immune to love. It says it on their character sheet right here on their stat block. Eldridge Plast is right there, plus seven. That's 26, my friend. That hits. Believe it. Believe it. or not. I'm walking on there and give a thunder. Good song. Very good. I'm going to listen to it after this.

Same. Eight plus four, plus four for agonizing blast. Plus three for thunder damage from her warlock genie's wrath. So eight, four, four, three. That's 19. 19? Yeah.

You see them still kind of like swarming on you on your hands and you do that thing where you point your right hand. at your left hand, Eldridge blast them off of your hand. And they all begin sizzling and explode and fall to the ground. Ouchy, ohgy. Unfortunately, it also hurts your hand a little bit. Oh, no. Ouch.

So you take nine points of that damage from the Eldridge Blast going through and hitting your own hand. Ow, don't shoot yourself. It's just a thing where it's like when, again, you got like a bug on you and you begin swatting at or moving all like wildly, not realizing that you're going to hurt yourself in the process too. Yeah. But yeah, that's it. The swarm is done for. Yay. Biders. The sound of a swarm of brass instruments quiet.

Oh. Just Scott died in the 90s and now it dies again. It died doing what it loves most. Biting the glove of a drag queen. Being referenced. Oh, there you go. Gigi did something. I did something.

I'm going to high-five Captain Grumbles and let my turn be over. Peace, come here. All right, there are three guards left. These three, however, were affected by the Mitten of Mushrooms. These three guards are going to get beat. But this is the last round. They're under the effect of Mitten of Mushrooms

because you rolled a two. But they are still under that effect, and they wander around seemingly not really knowing what they're doing. Have any of you ever had Twilight Anesthesia? Yes. Yes. I imagine that's what it's like, because I've had it too. It's just like nothing is sticking.

You may as well be asleep or not there because it's just not registering at all. Twilight amnes anesthesia? It's like you're awake. It's like when they read you the books while you're in surgery, so then you learn about Edward and Jacob. It's really bizarre if you've never heard of it. You are awake, but your brain is not forming memories. so you're there, but it's like you're on autopilot. I think they use that for my colonoscopy.

Yeah, they probably, I had an endoscopy, and that's when I had it. They didn't put you down for that? Well, I don't remember anything, but I think they'd use it so that, because they have to tell you like, okay, we need you to shift or whatever. Right. I'm glad there was an F in that word, you just said. Listen, it's the freakiest thing ever because I'm like, I, this is very vulnerable. That's just true serum then.

I remember when they gave it to me, I had my endoscopy, and they wheeled me into the room to do the problem. procedure. And like, right as I'm getting wheeled into the room, it's like multiple injections, they

gave me the final one as I was getting wheeled in. And my last memory was, oh, my doctor's here. That's weird. What a random coincidence.

What are you doing here? And, yeah, and that's before the final dose. Then the final dose hits and you're like, I came to, and I was eating a barbecue

chicken pizza. And I looked at it and I thought, who ordered this? I hate barbecue chicken pizza. And my wife looked at me, said, I told you not to get that like five times.

You wanted it. There's a roosteeth animated adventure of this. I love that. So yeah, that's what it is. It's just you are not there. But anyway. I can't imagine how belligerent a Gus recovering from anesthesia would be like, I can't. Just so argumentative.

I was a jerk based on the stories I've heard. And I hope I never have to do that again because I do not want to subject my wife or anybody else to that. Oh, you're going to. I feel so sorry. So all that to say, these three guards are eating barbecue chicken pizza. Okay, all right. They're not here. Twilight.

So we're going to go ahead and skip past them and go to Doug, then after Doug is told. Would you say they're all kind of like in a central spot? Yeah, because they all were affected by the mitten together, so they're all clumped up. So if I were to say cast fire bolt, like in that area, usually it's just, I think, targeted at one creature, but. If it's fire, would they all be affected potentially? Would it line up your shot, like it's pool or something? Yeah. Yeah.

I love yes-anting, but I'm going to say no on that one. This one will just affect one creature. Okay, so instead I'm just going to use my crossbow to shoot at the one closest to me. Okay. Oh, dang it. 11. Yeah, that's not a hit. It goes wide.

You can have my inspiration down. Really? Yeah. Oh, thanks, John. 14? No. No! Doug, you're just not used to using this crossbow.

Your hands are a little shaky and the shot just goes above their head. Well, uh, is Gambot back? No, I think we said Gambat would come back at the end of combat. It's Gambat back. You guys just because every round is six seconds, and this is our second round, so it's been 12 seconds. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay.

Well, uh, all right, who's next? All right, that's it for Doug. So we're back up to the top at Toll's and then Gunther and then Natty. You-hoo. So when do the mittens wear off? Is it on your turn or at the top of the round? Because if it's the top of the round, they're aware again. Micah!

Micah! It says, Mushrooms covered with Thermotech gloves, smells musty, smudgy texture, glows near fungus, making fist releases spray, 15-foot cone, DC-13-Con Save. On failure, target, unable to form short-torn memories for 1D-4 terms. On success, Target loses a concentration train of thought. It doesn't really say anything. Since we use that on what we coined like a surprise round,

we're going to say that it ends now at the top of the turn. So not that it matters much, I don't think, but they are aware now. Okay, okay. It changes a little bit of what I was going to do, but that's all right. I, eh, what the heck? I'm going to see it this flies. instead of using my storm aura, I'm just going to see if I can grapple one of these guys

and throw them off of the side of the train thing. The rampart? What do we call? The rampart. Yeah, I'm just going to see if I could toss one into the water. Or a shove? Yeah, something to that effect that's just going to get them out of there. Yeah, because would a shove be like a bonus?

Yeah, if you're going to shove them or try to grapple them, we'll just make like oppose strength checks to see if you're able to overcome them and get them off the side. So make me a strength check. That's a 15. 15. Their strength is plus three. Oh, we are matched.

A worthy adversary. So they need a, just like they need a 12 or better. So if they match or beat your role, they don't move. Then they throw me off the ramparts. They just hold fast. And the ramparts red, glare. Your Canadian is showing. Is that not the lyric?

And they rolled a 16, which is a 19. Wait, wait, wait, wait, hold on, hold on. Raging. You gain advantage on strength checks. Oh. I guess I'm raging. Oh, okay. Roll that again.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. 22. Yeah. So I rolled a 19, so your 22 is able to overcome it. Yeah, you rush in, and the guard puts his shoulder down and meets your charge.

And you think for a second he's not going to move, but then with like a last little bit of effort, you activate your Thamatech overdrive. And his legs begin sliding along the floor. And he, you know, you push him. Or did you want to push him over the edge or to the edge? Over into the water. Yeah.

His legs slide or his feet slide across the top of the tower and eventually over the air. And his weight drags him down and he falls to the icy lake below. You see him fall. It's like a temple of doom. He falls into the water and the cross. crocodiles come up and begin biting at him dragging him to the bottom. I see water where crocodiles really thrive.

Well, it's like the ones that got our friend, Halfling, Can do Cody. I guess Halfling is his race, not his name, but you know. Meta-wise, these are cryodials. Whoa. Skiders and cryodials. Where are we, folks? D&D land where anything could exist.

These are just Pokemon. Anything else told? Yeah, so then I'm going to take that Gable of Gailstrom strike. So I still have my attacks, so I'm going to focus those on another person. Okay. If I have the movement. Yeah. Okay.

It's only, if we said 30 feet across, so even at worst case scenario, you'd be able to do it. Okay. So, yeah, I'm going to do that. That is a 23. That hits. Okay, that's a seven. Okay, seven points of damage. Let me...

Okay. Bring your gavel of Gailstrom down on this guard. Who winces him to the pain, but he is, of course, still standing. This is the first damage he's taken. Oh, okay. And then I'm going to hit him again because he got a second attack. Okay.

Samo Samos, Samo. That's a Nat 20. Ooh, critical hit. Roll that damage. I rolled a four and a five, but I know that we create one of those maxes out. I don't know which one you want. Normally I do the first. So 10 plus 4 is 14 plus 3, 17 points of damage. Yeah.

He is still standing, but he looks to look pretty shaky on his feet. Cool. That's it. That's for me. Cool. All right. That's it for Toll. Up next is Gunther, the Nadi,

then any guards who will be left if they are still left. Oh, hustle to the one that's nearly standing on its feet or barely standing on its feet. Okay, the one Tov just hit? Yeah. I'll just attack it. Nat 20. That's three criticals in this combat. Wow.

I'm just as surprised as you are. Look at us go. All right. So wait, so I'll roll my damage now. Yeah. So it's 8 plus 7 is 15 plus 7 is 22 points of damage. Plus. So 24 points of damage.

Okay, so Gunther runs over, seeing his opportunity, strikes the guard that Toll had just hit with his gavel, and this guard falls to the ground, unmoving. No doubt. I'm just going to keep using that one. What's the next one nearby? Yeah, the next, I mean, you'd be able to get to it. This tower is only 30 feet diameter anyway, so that's within your movement.

How many are left, total? There's only one guard left. Can I attempt? I want to try and talk to it. Freeze, or you shall die. You do as you say, then we can be friends. Or at least you will live and we will be, you know, an acquaintances. What a poet.

Yeah, he raises his hand and says, Okay, I yield. We can be friends. This guy's already out. smart at Gunther. No, it's not gum gum. We require entrance into the prison. What will we face?

You'll face additional guards and possibly the warden. Oh, God, boss fight. Are there passwords, are there secrets? Tell me and know this. If you lie, then you die. That's pretty good. It's pretty fire. It rhymes.

It should be a ska song. What did you ask? Secrets? Is that what was that your question? Are there secrets? Are there passwords? Are there You know, like? Oh, are there. There are no passwords? Secrets. Are there secrets? The bathroom at the far end of the building is the best bathroom. Most people don't know. It's stocked with the finest toilet paper. No one uses this, so it's usually pretty empty. The guards will always seek to lock down and then question. And the warden. Tell us of the warden.

She rules the prison with an iron fist. Nothing gets by her. Except us. Nice. Right now. Yeah, yeah. It's just dug, just sliding across the frame behind Gunther to say that little line. Are they, okay, what are they wearing exactly?

Like, are there, can we in theory disguise ourselves with their uniforms, the ones that are around? Yeah. Yeah, these guards that you encountered up here, they're pretty tall humans. They're wearing white fur-lined leather armor. Cover your ears. What's your name? I'm Bosco.

That's one of my favorite drag queens. Dante? Bosco. Mighty, mighty. Pasco. Cover your ears, Bosco, please. Okay, he covers his ears and turns away. You think we could go in under disguise and then bring Bosco?

But someone would be, like, I don't know, like, secretly ready to stabby or something so he takes us the right way. I don't know. What do you think? Could alert the others to our presence, though. I feel like, does anybody have any spells they can cast to make sure that he cooperates? It might be easier if it's just us going in, you know?

Because, you know, maybe they'll cooperate, maybe they won't and just yell out that, you know, we're capturing them or trying to break. Good point. You can you read minds? Yes. How far? Uh, let's find out. I might not be able to because I don't know if we've taken a long rest of it. I don't think you've used it recently, have you? I might be, I might still have it. Um.

Everyone make me a perception check. Okay. Something's happening. Five. 14. 24. 24. 13. Doug, as you're thinking this over and trying to figure out your move, you hear the sound of footsteps running,

and you look up to see Bosco making a dash for the crank. Oh! And he begins very quickly finishing extending the plank, and it drops down to the prison. Daddy shoots him. There you go. Yeah, make your attack roll. Thanks for doing that for us.

Now we don't have to do it. That's a 19 plus whatever her modifiers. That hits. So go ahead and roll your damage? Yeah. Three plus four, plus four, plus three. So. 14.

That's good. Yeah, the force of the blast hits Bosco in the back, and he loses his footing and falls over the edge of the tower into the icy depths below. Natty leans over the edge and tries to shoot him again before he gets in the water. With a loud slam, the gangplank finishes extending and then slams down onto the roof of the prison across the lake. and you see a horde of armor-plated guards and a woman aboard the plank and quickly run across and accost you all.

Natty starts pulling the crank up so that while they're crossing it, Yeah, it retracts. Everybody accosted us. Yeah, and the woman commands the guards. Arrest and incarcerate these invaders. We'll deal with them in the prison. We're in.

Natty high-fives Doug. Yeah! But you look like, you still look like one of the guards. Yeah. Find out how that all plays out. Yeah, you're going to jail. In the next episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon. It's like the departed.

Yeah. Thanks for listening, everybody. We'll see you all next time. You might think this month is February, but it's actually Stinkuary. That's right. All month long, we'll be celebrating Stinky Dragon in what's known as Stinkuary. And yes, it's an official holiday. It's official.

We'll be having a weekly stream showing off our. Patreon exclusive content announcing what's coming this year and bookending the month with the two-part tavern tale adventure so tune in to our YouTube channel for our big kickoff stream on February 2nd then every Friday to see us record our Patreon content live and finally to wrap it all up we'll be having a big finale stream on Saturday February 28th and you're not gonna want to miss it we'll have more details on our social pages at Stinky Dragon pod and on Patreon so check those out closer to then for all of the information and get ready to get stinking No showers are allowed. A whole month, no showers! New episodes of Tales from the Stinky Dragon premiere every other Wednesday, wherever you stream podcasts, and on the Stinky Dragon YouTube channel. You want to listen to the show 48 hours early and ad-free? Well, you can support us by becoming a patron at Stinky Dragonpod.com

or join as a member at Beacon.TV. Both give you early ad-free access and a member-only Discord for their respective platforms. Looking for even more stinky content and community perks. perks. Well, our Patreon offers exclusive bonus shows, behind-the-scenes content, access to the Stinky Dragon Discord, members-only live streams, stinky community events, and a shout-out on the show. Just like our friends Ryanair, L'Oreal, Bloodnessier, Liam Coyne, and M with the smiley face turned upside down. No, I didn't do that.

These patrons directly support the show. Get ad-free episodes, access to our Patreon-only Discord server, bonus content like second one behind the screen, and other stinky perks. Once again, that's stinky dragonpod.com. We're incredibly grateful for your support, which makes this show possible, you know, viewers like you. Hey, some of our friends voiced NPCs in this episode, and listeners who interacted with us on Stinky Dragon Discord had NPCs named after them. The character Bosco was named after Crazy Guy 343 and was voiced by Kind of Funny Zone, Blessing Adioje Jr. And he could be found at Blessing Jr. on social media. The warden was named after Terrell, and they were voiced by Fiona K.K.T. Howitt.

You can find them at Fiona KT Howitt on Instagram, and her most recent podcast project is Last Line Rewind, a new horror anthology podcast where tabletop role-playing game brings the terror of the TV glow to life. This week's error question was submitted by Toll. You-hoo, I love that guy. This episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon was produced by Ben Ernst and Micah Risinger, written and composed by Mika Rizinger,

and edited by Alina LaCorchick. Tune in next week for another thrilling episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon. Question. Yeah. What the hell is the origin of that Marco Polo game that we all know what you're talking about? What is that? Who started it?

I don't know what the game is because you even have a, you're like fish out of, what does fish out of water have to do with Marco Polo? I don't know, you know, just, it's everything's not a cold base, it's a sailor, so sometimes it's a bit of a stretch, but, you know, it's better than Chris's scar references, I'll tell you that much of all right, am all right, come on. Okay, Chris, don't get up.

You know I'm, look what shirt I'm wearing right now. What shirt is that? I changed, had a costume changed in our bathroom break. I'm now wearing an Operation Ivy shirt. Cool. And now you're also filled with P because you should have used the bathroom during that time. What's Operation Ivy? Is that a ska band?

Punk ska band. Oh. I was making a joke and it's actually real. Never mind.