Tales from the Stinky Dragon - C03 - Ep. 39 - From On Hyra - A Big Ascend-Off

Episode Date: March 18, 2026

Brutaliteam makes their prison escape and make a visit to the temple of the Blood Bather. Support us directly on Patreon https://www.patreon.com/stinkydragon - get access to ad-free episodes, bonus content like Stinky Dragon Adventures & Second Wind, our patreon-exclusive discord, and more! Check out our new merch at store.stinkydragonpod.com ! Follow us on our socials at https://linktr.ee/TalesFromTheStinkyDragon Cast: Gus Sorola, Blaine Gibson, Barbara Dunkelman, Jon Risinger, Chris Demarais Writer/Editor/Composer: Micah Risinger Producer: Benjamin Ernst Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Getting ready for a game means being ready for anything. Like packing a spare stick. I like to be prepared. That's why I remember 9-88. suicide crisis hubline. It's good to know just in case. Anyone can call or text for free confidential support from a train responder anytime. 988 suicide crisis helpline is funded by the government in Canada. Ashante, all you erinies, glide on into the stinky dragon and take a taste of our latest tea with oath hands tied. It's a mixture of magic mint leaf rope, a withering water sword, green

tangled tea bags, sulfurous sugar, smoke, and topped with diced honey diabolical. melon, one drop of this devilish drink, and you'll be sitting on Cloud 9 hills. Previously, our adventurers fell into a watery dungeon with the warden in waiting. They tussled with tapestries, teeming with traps, were tormented with traumatic memories, and found a former croak folk friend. Now finally freed from this frigid facility of felons, Bunlap unfurls a fun fact. The whereabouts of the Wilder Shield. Napsum nectar and nestle in for a noxious narrative.

Hello everyone. Welcome to Tales on the Stinky Dragon. I'm your dungeon master Gustavo Sorolla. and I'm going to hit our four players with an arrow. No, don't shoot arrows at us in this facility. Facility? Facility? This is a no firearms facility.

Did I say facility? You did. Whatever, I'll pick it up in post. No way, it's dang. It's a spicy start to this episode. So this week's arrow question is, if your character were to make a video game, what genre and what kind of game would it be?

And that's submoded, submoted, Submit. All right, that's it. We're done. It's submitted by Viola Game Boy. I rolled a 19. So good. So good.

Nine, two. Six. All right, so what have we got? 19962. That's the way. That's my phone number. Don't call me. All right, well, why don't you lead us off, Mr. Boone?

Well, hello, everyone. My name is Doug Boone. I'm a bug bear artificial, played by Barbara Dunkelman. Hello. Welcome back to the Stinky Dragon. And, you know, I think I have two answers for this, Gassavo. I think if I were to make a video game, it would be a puzzle game, obviously. Okay.

Duh. It's just most obvious answer of the week, am I right? Because I like puzzle games. I like, you know, using your noggin. I like things that are a little bit more low-key, a little relaxing. You don't feel stressful playing them. It's good. Good for the heart, good for the brain.

I think you'd like blueprints, Doug. I'm just going to throw that out there. Put in your cue. Blue prints. Easy to say. But I think if I were to play a video game, I'd want to play some type of first-person shooter because Doug needs a little bit of practice when it comes to his aim and his fighting skills and stuff like that and his bravery. So maybe he could use that as some practice. But I think if we were to make one, it's a puzzle game.

Not to dig Doug. I'm not familiar. You're way too pleased with that, by the way. Okay, are you like a cod person or a battlefield person? Do you have any preference like that, Doug? Oh, I love cod. I like swordfish. I like...

I didn't know what's going. And salmon. You know, I am technically kind of like a bear type situation, so, you know, stereotype does ring true a little bit. Okay. All right, good to know. Thanks, Doug. I believe up next we had Tollv with a nine, if I remember, right? Yeah, that's me.

Uh-huh. It's me, Tollve. Good to see you, everybody. Wow. You haven't taken a break. we sure have and I feel rusty. Okay, let's talk video games, shall we? All right, here's my pitch.

I'm thinking a big, long narrative game, fighting genre, very story-based, a tale of redemption, and it stars me. And I'm like an old grizzly man who's like on a path of, you know, he's ashamed of his past, and maybe he has like a small boy with him who he helps through this dangerous, icy world,

and he encounters all these big villains. and I have an axe and maybe some two swords and a hammer. Trying to figure out what game this actually is that you are referencing. I know which game he's talking about, but I want him to explain why he needs a small boy with him. It's just, you know, it's a fun gameplay element every now and then maybe I get knocked out and then you have to play as the small boy and then you have like, ooh, new gameplay mechanics and he shoots a bow and arrow.

Is this like Donkey Kong and Diddy Kong? Perfect. Yes. No. Yes. No. That's totally. Big Donkey Kong fan.

Got it. Okay. That's all my favorite part in Donkey Kong is when he pulls out his battle axe. And the frigid ice where monkeys live. Well, anyway, I would call it, I don't know, Lord of Battle. Yeah, yeah, that's very good, yeah. We can workshop that. I think you're onto something.

For a ballerog would be directed. There actually was a Donkey Kong game that was set in the ice, so you're not far off, Barbara. Jay learned. And they did give Mario a gun in Mario rabbits. Maro's got a gun! Yeah. Which, wait, it was just bizarre. Donkey Kong has guns.

In Donkey Kong in 64, they had guns. It's been a while. They shot fruit, but... Technically, they all do in Super Smash as well. They could hold a gun. Yeah, they do get guns. That's true. Wow.

Okay. They gave that monkey a gun. Watch out. All right. Next up, I believe, is Gunther with a six. Hi, I'm Krista Maris. Gunther, the male Krokevokeviker. And I would like to say that if I was to play

and make a game, it would be a farming simulator. Oh. I would, I would, it would be, you would get to raise bugs and, and, and, and, and put them in the farm and, and, and get to know people in the village. And I would call it, uh, hop and hoe valley. Oh. H-O-E? H-O-E.

Why not bug rancher? That's a good name too. I like that too. Pretty good. Because you don't farm bugs. They're livestock. Well, there's, you still have to farm the food. And then such.

You know, guys, I want to play all of these. Wait, what do flies eat? I was, I was going to ask, what are you farming to feed a fly? That's a genuine question, because I don't know. So what you must do is you must, they generally prefer the feces of other animals. So we grow, we grow other, we farm. other animals to then farm their poop, worthy flies.

Circle a laugh, you know what I'm saying? Man, your neighbors must love you, Gunther. There was, sorry, quick little story of California living with Micah and John. There was a portion of California where we would drive through and it was like where all the cows were.

I not having a sense of smell, never experienced this, but randomly we were driving through and then everyone in the car would be like, oh, and they would smell the, like, the cow area. And I'd be like, Oh, what's that? And so I was missing out on life. There was a high-density feedlot just outside of the town I grew up in.

And every now and then when the wind shifted wrong, it was yuck. That's why you smell like that. Yeah, it's been like 30 years and I'm still trying to wash it off. It's just steeped into his pores. And his DNA. And also really makes you wonder about the stuff you're eating when you grow up seeing stuff like that. Just going to leave that there. That's dark.

Oh, yeah. Okay. Anyway, on a lighter note, some Dungeons and Dragons. So in the previous episode, you guys... We haven't done him yet. Oh. Man, look at me trying to move things along. We're recording this at 2 a.m.

Sorry, everybody. Oh, Natty, have you been standing there the whole time he scared me? Bo. You can skip me. I don't care. No, no, no, no, no. No, if I were to... I never really have a lot of time to play video games,

although I mostly just shove him in Giggy's face so he occupies himself for at least a few minutes. iPad kid. Yep. But, you know, I was listening to Gunther talk, and I'm like, you know, a farming simulator does sound kind of fun. But I would like it if it had sort of like a death element to it, because you know how much I love that?

And so what if it was like graveyard themed, you know? And that's what I would work at is I'd work at like a graveyard place. And I'd go get the dead and I'd be in charge of burying them and taking care of the field where all the dead are and decorating it with all my favorite of Kutraim. When does Diddy Kong come in, though? He's the yard keeper. He's the way it just goes around.

Sean, I actually kind of want to play this game. It exists. It exists. Does it? Yeah. Graveyard sim? It sounds almost like roller coaster tycoon, except you're managing a graveyard and, you know, laying it out and, you know, working on your income and upkeep and everything.

Is Blaine Googling it right now? I'm on Steam right now. I'm looking at it. It sounds awesome. Man, I do a graveyard sim, and boy, business is great. Lots of people dying. What, graveyard keeper? Is that what it's called?

Graveyard simulator, I don't know. No, no, but the keeper looks cute. Yeah, it's basically Stardue Valley plus dead people, and you harvest, like, stuff from the dead people to be used. But yeah, it's actually really fun. It's actually a really good game. It sounds cute. It sounds like a fun concept. It is.

It is. It's like Stardu cute, but death. Oh. Wait, what is it called? Graveyard keeper. Favorite keep. Everyone's furiously searching Steam right now. The cryptkeeper was taken.

I just want to play roller coaster tycoon now personally. You guys mentioned that. I saw a YouTube video about it the other day, so it's fresh in my mind. I love that game. So good. You move the tapestry aside, and behind the tapestry,

you see a bloodied and restrained bun lap. Punlap. No. Natty goes to try to remove his face. See if he's fake. No! Who are you? How are you?

You try to pull at it, but his face is actually... She's a real face. It's a real face. Okay. Guntor's that the real bun lap? I don't hope so. Gunther runs over and tries to restrain him. Yeah, he's got like a gag in his mouth and restraints holding him, and you're able to free him.

And it looks like he's been worked over. He's pretty bloodied and beat up. Can I cast cure wounds on him? Yeah, and it seems to really help. Like, you cast cure wounds. I'll let you roll, whatever the heel. is here. Five points of healing.

Five points. And it seems like that kind of energizes him. Like he can really like breathe. And he seems like oh, like his eyes clear up. And he can look at you.

He's taller than most croak folk, muscular and nightly. He's got dreamy golden eyes. Very dreamy. They're very fierce. And they fix on you, Gunther. He says,

Gunther, thank you for coming back. I'm sorry I left. Think nothing of it. It is what needed to happen. But Gunther, You need to help me escape now. Of course. I'm sorry, let us go!

Yes, let us go. And Gunther, I have something I need to tell you. What? I know where the Wilder Shield is. A group of archers arrive at the metal hatch in the ceiling, peering down and seeing you all and seeing the warden fallen on the ground. They begin loosing a volley of arrows from above at you all. Why doesn't everyone roll me a dexterity saving?

Oh. Five. 17. 19. That's not one, but I'm a barbarian, so I get to text area advantage. He's a Barbie,

blah, blah, blah, that's a natural one. Yeah. All right. And can I try to block Bunlap? Because I don't, did we untie him? What's his status?

Yeah, he's there. He's a little woozy. Why don't you roll to assist him? And if you roll well, I'll add a plus two to his safe. Okay. If you roll bad, he's a pin cushion. 13.

Okay, now I'm going to roll bundlaps here. All right, so 17, and you rolled a 13. Okay, everyone does pretty good except for Doug. I think Doug you were probably looking in the wrong direction, and everyone, like, is pointing up at the archers as they surround the hatch, and you turn and look just to see... Someone yelled Duck, and Doug just started to look around for Ducks because he loves Ducks. I thought they were calling me, so I just was like, yeah.

A volley of arrows fall all around. Everyone's able to avoid the arrows except for Doug. He takes 14 points of piercing damage. Wow. We got some Doug skewers. I know whenever I make that noise, it's going to get a laugh from Blaine every time. Over the holidays, I showed that to my nephew, because I was like, you need to know this. This is part of our history.

It's history, yeah. All right, 14 points piercing damage, you said. Yeah. As you're, you know, hovering over him trying to protect him, Gunther, Bunlap looks up at you and says, I know of another door, but I am unsure there needs. That is all that we have to go on. I say we go.

I like the way another door sounds right now. He begins hobbling over to the northern tapestry and pulls the tapestry aside, revealing a bulkhead door with a... It's called a dog, but it's like a wheel, like a crank on it. Okay. And he says, here it is. Is there any signage or anything like that on it?

Anything to indicate what this door's purpose is? Yeah, it's a big sign that says teddy bear and puppy room. What? Go! No, there's no sign. There's nothing on it. It's just a metal door with the dog on it. It just says on it, septic tank.

Hey, listen, it exits and exit. Could Doug come up and try to help crank it open? It sounds like it's a crank, you said? Yeah, you begin working at it. Make me a strength check, Doug, just for four. big boy big strength. 12. It begins slowly moving little by little.

It's kind of the thing where at first it's really stuck and then it doesn't seem to be moving. But then as you get like a little bit of momentum, it begins like slowly going quicker and quicker and it becomes easier and easier. Then like as you're opening, you feel like it's pressing in, then all of a sudden it blasts open. And icy water begins surging in, filling the room, slowly flooding the dungeon. Everyone make another dexterity saving throw. Oh. We're going to go Bunlap. I'm really liking this guy. I said I didn't know where it's win.

Yeah, all right, sleek 2.0. Uh, 18. 21. Uh, 7 and then a 9. Dirty 20. Okay. All of you manage to steal yourselves and hold your footing against the onslaught of icy water, except for Toll, who loses his footing, and falls down, becoming partially submerged below the water. Feel the rain on your skin! So you take a level of exhaustion from the water on your skin and being submerged.

He's used to being underwater. Yeah, right. I'm level two exhaustion now, but... Uh-oh. What does that mean? Does it tell you that? Okay. It says... While you have the exhaustion condition, you experience the following effects. Exhaustion levels, this condition is cumulative.

Each time you receive it, you gain one exhaustion level. You die if your exhaustion is level six. D20 test effects. When you make a D20 test, the rule is reduced by two times your exhaustion level. Speed reduced. Let me see. Your speed is reduced by a number of feet equal to five times your exhaustion level, so I lose 10 feet. And then to remove exhaustion, finishing a long rest removes one of your exhaustion levels.

When your exhaustion level reaches zero as the condition ends. Oof. So, no there a truncated version of that at all? He's tired. We're going to, yeah, we're going to homebrew that a bit just because as we saw there, that's a mouthful and a lot. So we'll, metagame-wise, we'll say that it's minus two on checks since you have two levels of exhaustion. I'll take it. That's a lot to keep track of.

On top of the exhaustion, everyone takes a little bit of cold damage from experiencing the icy water flooding over them. Toll takes eight points of damage. Everyone else takes four. Okay. It's chilly baby back read. He's going to say it. I was like, no, I'll let that one pass. Take an inspiration die.

First impression die of the day. This is what happened. happens when I don't take my jokes. You gotta have confidence in them. All right. How about this? Barbecue sauce. That was pretty good, but no, no, no.

A hat on a hat. Okay, what's the plan here? Who's team leader? What are you doing? Is it possible to get through the thing, the hole with the water coming out? Or do we have to wait for it to, like, fill up past it? It would be difficult, but you think you could probably try to, like, wade and force your way through. We shall push, push, push.

Okay, so we all just get together and push together and stay kind of as, like, one being? Yeah. Sure. And then, Tullov will bring out a shield at the archers, try to take pot shots to block them. So I'll hold that up. It's good. So I like what you're doing there, Blaine.

So that's actually, that kind of plays into what I was going to say. It's like, whoever's team leader, maybe you should, like, lead the charge, choose what you want to do, you know, come up with a scenario, and we'll do like a roll of D20, add a skill bonus that you think is applicable to it. And then everyone else can describe how you want to collaborate like Pove just did. And, you know, we can make some rolls on that and see what shakes out. 12 did a go. Yeah. Okay.

So I guess I'll... Gunther can go first with Bunlap behind him, and then, like, maybe we hold onto each other's foot or something and try and pull each other through. Lacing each other's toes. Yeah. Yeah. So you're just kind of kind of brute force through with Bunlap then?

Yeah. That sounds like a strength-based check to me. Is that correct? Sure. Yeah. Strength. Okay. Before you roll or do anything,

we're going to go ahead and go around and have everyone else continue to build it out. It could also be athletics, but we'll get to that in a minute. So Tov already said how he's going to help. What kind of skill do you think that would be like dexterity or some kind? I guess maybe you could use like a specific skill instead of just an attribute. They could do any number of things. I guess it's, is that athletics?

I don't know, as it's coming in or maybe perception to perceive when they're flying at us, to block arrows. I don't know. I'm so rusty Gus, help. Well, I would say athletics is more strength-based, which could work. I mean, I could see that working. In my mind, it was more of a dexterity thing, kind of like armor class. But, I mean, athletics also kind of covers that, too, if you want to do that?

Let's do athletics, because that's the thing that have the highest modifier on. So, yeah. Fell right into my trap. That's 19 minus two from exhaustion 17. Oh, that's really good. Yeah. Who else wants to go? We know Bunlap's plan hasn't been executed yet.

We know how Tov's helping. We got Doug and Maddie still. I don't know if I could do this, but I have Gambot with me always, of course. So I want to hold him kind of like at his feet and have him do his force-empowered rend where his head pops up. But because he's mushroom-shaped and he's sideways, so his head will pop forward and pull back, which should propel me forward if I'm holding onto him. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Kind of like a, like what you see, like special forces using underwater, like one of those little things they hold on to that kind of like,

Propels them around? Yeah. Yeah. What kind of check do you think that would be? What kind of skill would you use for that? I would think it would be some type of... I was going to say animal handling. I could see it being some kind of...

Like dexterity. Acrobatics. Yeah. Because if it's holding onto something. Can we work on making Gambot into like Rush from Mega Man? And he just turns into anything that Doug needs. I mean, he's already got the spring thing like Rush. Now you can turn into the little underwater,

little thing that he just kind of rides on through the water. Cowabonga and he turns to do a car. What a genius idea. Thank you. Yeah, why don't you just pick a skill and let's roll it there? I'll do acrobatics. I think that makes sense. Okay, yeah.

Go ahead and roll that beautiful bean footage. That's a 16. Oh, that's another good roll. All right, good, great. Then last up is Natty. What are you going to do in this scenario? I think Natty would see that removing herself from this problem would make it easier and everybody else.

And so she would grab Doug's hand and would say, I liked it so much, I put a ring on it. And she put her ring on Doug and then would go in her ring with gigging. Nice. Well, I don't know. Oh, look, Barbara's got a ring on.

Natty's in there. It's you. Yeah. I have her aura. Not sponsored, by the way. Why don't you make a slight a hand check there, Natty? Yeah, yeah.

Just to see, like, if you're able to slip that on there. 15 plus 3. Wow. Three good checks, three good rolls. All right. So behind the scenes, I'll tell you now, the reason I was having you all describe your stuff before we did Chris's is, is if you all rolled bad, I was going to add negative modifiers to his role. But you all did good. So we're going to get a plus three to whatever Chris's role is here. Did you not tell us that? Because you thought if you did, we would all try to roll bad to like make it harder on Chris? No, I don't want like it to have a bearing on your decision, if that makes sense. All right, Chris, what did we say you were rolling? Athletics? Well, I had a thought. Here we go. Now we're coming.

Survival. Avoid natural hazards. Okay. And find a path. Okay. I believe it. That's 14. Then we're going to add three, which is 17. You're welcome. You begin, like, forcing your way and pushing forward against the torrent of water.

However, as you're doing so, is Gunther right-handed or left-handed? Right. Okay. You know, you're putting your right hand forward, pressing forward up against the water, but the water's so cold you feel your right hand and your right arm becoming really cold and frozen. Like you're having the effects of some kind of like cross bite on your arm, which makes it kind of slow and difficult to move. It was an icy lake outside.

Yeah. Yes. Chris refuses to answer if he's right hand and your left hand. It's part of his backstory. He said right. And then he did this like small little like gaze at gust. It was a shifty little face. It was a shifty little face.

Control the check if Gunther is lying. Yeah. No, it was me trying to remember if I've established it. 18. No, he's mixed handed. You could probably look at fan art or your character art of Gunther and see where he's... We could go to store.

Stor.com and check out Gunther merchandise, like the shirts. It's true. And see what it looks like. I'm actually going to do that right now. Oh, yeah, that's what I should have said for the video game. There's already a shirt that's like in the style of a shirt. video game. I didn't want to say anything, but I was like, well, a missed opportunity to promote some merchandise. Gosh, darn it. And it was not even a farming simulator. Yeah, I know. It's like it was,

it's based on like GRP's from like the S&S era. It's one of those things where they bait and switch you with the art where it looks all cool and then you boot it up and it's a farming simulator. Yeah, it's true. The game begins in three, two, one. Ready or not to, here I come. Only in Theaters Friday. After surviving one deadly game, Grace and her sister Faith must now face off against four rival families in a fresh round of blood in games filled with more action, scares, laughs, and Combustions. Starring Samara Weaving, Catherine Newton, Sarah Michelle Geller, and Elijah Wood. Ready or not too, here I come. Only in theaters Friday. Get tickets now. What happens when two people who grew up in a very strange corner of Los Angeles look back and realize just how bizarre

are their upbringings really were. They start a podcast, of course. I'm Ashley Johnson. And I'm Talison Jaffe. Before we became the internet people we are today, we spent our childhoods as working actors, appearing in shows like growing pains and films like Mr. Mom. And our podcast, Weird Kids,

we're diving deep into our unique upbringings, our friendship with each other, and all the delightfully odd interests we still carry with us today. In each episode, we get to share stories of our youth, the things that bring us joy, the problems that we face, and occasionally the friends we've collected along the way. If you're a misfit, an outcast,

or just a weirdo who loves all things nostalgic and unconventional, come take a seat at our table. Each week we'll be releasing previously members-only episodes on YouTube and all major podcast platforms, with new episodes dropping exclusively and ad-free on beacon.tv. You all, you know, press forward against the water, emerging to submerged into icy lake and begins swimming your way up.

You pop up on the surface of the water, on the surface of the lake, and look around, and all of you make me perception checks. I'm not gonna. Oh, not you. You're in the ring. I'm enjoying a nice little cup of tea in my little boudoir. I'll tell you, Nanny, I'll tell you what I see, okay? I'm like talking into the ring. And the room is like shaking. Dirty 20 minus two from exhaustion 18.

Oh, I forgot to incorporate the... I have a level of exhaustion two. All right, so minus one for you. I am 23 on that roll. That would be a six then. Didn't we see a man get eaten by like a giant crocodile? Can do Cody? Yeah.

By cryodial, yeah. I'm sure that wasn't that won't bother us. Voice by our friend Andy Blanchard. For about two seconds. Was it? Yeah. That was his big break, yeah. We got to let Andy do a different voice.

No, no, no. He had his shot. I want that audio file of his, what he turned in. Poor Andy. Yeah, you look around and you see, you catch glimpses of a cryodial in the distance, grabbing someone and dragging them down to the depths, which puzzles you for a second,

and then you realize that there's prisoners escaping from the tower. Some are attempting to climb down the exterior. Some are climbing across the gangplank over to the guard tower. Some are jumping into the lake. And it's just a madhouse. And one of you had like a 23 on your perception role, right? Was that deck? Doug, furthermore,

you notice something that seems a little strange. Well, not strange, but there is something about this prison break. In the neighborhood? That catches your eye. You note that all of the Undarian prisoners appear to be running in the same direction. Which direction are they running in? Northeast. Northeast.

Does it seem like they're running towards something or like... That's the direction you all were hitting in. That's towards Meadow Canyon. Meadow Canyon. Isn't that the battlefield or battle line or whatever? Uh-oh. Frontline. Are any of them close enough to hear...

us if we were to like yell something at them. From where you are in the lake, I believe I said this is about 100 feet or so. And that's if they were on the very bank, like closest to you, to a minimum. Gotcha. Could I ask Bunlap why they might be going that direction? Because I assume we're all now out of the rushing water and stuff. Correct. Need you to say it like Doug is cold, so.

Okay. Why are they all running towards that area and towards Meadow Canyon? I don't know. Perhaps they are going into battle. Perhaps. You're just as mysterious as gunther, aren't you? Well, I mean, medigame-wise, he doesn't necessarily know. He's been in prison. He's been getting tortured for a while. Yeah, I guess I would assume that if all the prisoners are running a certain direction, he might, as a prisoner, know if there's been something discussed or, like, something that they'd want to get to.

Well, gang, if that's the front line, then they could be potentially ambushing our friends from behind. So, like, we should stop them, maybe? I mean, we should, I mean, we do have to go to Meadow Canyon anyways, at least personally, so. Yeah, they are at some distance and they're, you know, continuing you while you all are still in the lake. It'll take you a little while, you know, to swim to the shore and get out. But if we ambush the ambush, then we will be promoted to whatever's after private. Listen, general. This is like the corporate world, right?

If you are proactive and fix a problem before it happens, you don't get credit. If you wait for the problem to happen and then address it, then you're the hero. Guess that's too real. There's a lot of old Gus coming out right now. And I'm scared I'm in business with this man. I worked a corporate job for several years, and it was garbage. Guys, we're the sea suite now, all of us. So you all make your way to the shore, by which point it seems like the crowds have thinned out, and the Undarians are but a memory.

It would be nighttime. It might be a good time to perhaps make camp and take a rest and deal with some of this exhaust. and recover from your ordeal that you all have undertaken. Metagame-wise, I'd encourage y'all to make camp right here. Could we go to our little blanket camp that we made? Oh, yeah, you all left like your blanket camp out here. Yeah, you could revisit that if you want. So should we take a little long rest here again?

Yeah. I love that. So, like I said, it's nighttime, it's moonlit, it's cold, there's a snow falling, and you're in a lightly wooded area with prisoners running everywhere. Mountains in the distance. The prisoners have dissipated. It's not as many. and then there's a random stray one.

Why don't each of you take turns briefly telling me one feature about the campground? There's a lot of snow. This area is just a lot of snow. It seems, there's also like a weird snow angel that looks like someone tried to make at some point. I think that might have been one of the prisoners. I don't know if that was any of us.

They were just so excited about being free. Yeah, and they're angels because they're just misunderstood. Exactly. And no trees around anywhere, it seems like. Which is weird. I'll go next. Okay. So as usual, when we do set up camp, I've set my giggy stick up.

And that's basically just a stick I put in the ground and then attach his leash to. And then that just kind of restricts how far he can go before I have to go find him. And if I'm lucky, he just goes around a circle and he makes that shorter and shorter and shorter. Smart. Real smart. That's experience speaking. Imagine you have to use like a fence post thing, like industrial. Oh, yeah. If it doesn't go three feet down, it's not worth it for it. That boy's got strength.

I'll go next. So Tov was going to be nice, cook a nice warm meal for everybody. He happened to find a cauldron while we were escaping, you know, and things were like floating out of the prison. And so he got some snow, boiled it, put it over the fire. But I think somewhere in the process when I stepped away, like Gunther and Bunlap thought it was like a jacuzzi. So they're just like chilling in there now.

I'm not going to stop them. It seems like they need to get to reunite. and warm up, so I'm just kind of, you know, frog legs. Yeah. Well, no, we're not going to eat them. No death. Jakuzy.

And I imagine for the camp, it's a bunch of, we've created like a blanket. Fort? Not fort. It's all on the ground so that we just crawl underneath it. And it keeps us kind of hidden. And then it's all warm to use the snow as an insulation. Like a wind cover?

Yeah. Like, so we're just like. It's almost like a makeshift igloo of. sorts. Yeah, but like, just kind of a trench. Shrench that we're just kind of getting in. Hmm. All right, everyone, everyone cuddle in the dog, body heat. Natty's still in the ring. No, we'll say Natty got out of the ring for camping.

Because I could snuggle it close. Although it's nicer in the ring, I'll tell you that. Yeah, it's like bespoke exactly how you wanted in there. Yeah. Could I but hold it for just a moment? I didn't like how you phrased that. No, no, no. You got to work. Your emphasis on which word you did that, okay?

I think Gantot thinks this ring is kind of precious. It is very precious. So can I lose all of my exhaustion, or do I keep one level? What do the rules say? I know what the rules say. I'm just asking what Gus rules are. You can get rid of it. You can get rid of it.

Okay, okay. That's my Christmas gift. As you all are walking around and taking in the sights, Bundlap turns to talk to you. Gunther, and you see that he takes in a deep breath of fresh air. He's wringing his muscular wrists where there's manacle-shaped bruises. He looks at you with a knowing look, Gunther, and says, I know where the wielder shield is.

My sources in prison told me of an innkeeper that saw a flower-shaped shield. It was near the ruins of chimera keep. We will go there together, just as we first set out as brothers. And he reaches out for like a warrior's grip, like, you know, like that forearm handshake. Gunther reaches out, but then takes his hand, but then looks down, I, I'm just sorry. That I've, that I left you in there for so long, I was, I escaped and then was afraid.

It's okay, Gunther. I understand. No, you do not. You have no fear. You have never had fear. Everyone has fear. That's what gives us courage. Without fear, we never have the reason to rise.

Whoa. Well, I'm writing that one down. Yeah, sorry to overhear. I know you don't want us to know what your secret quest is, but bars. You guys are just eavesdropping into this personal moment. Together, we will reclaim the Wildershield. And with it, our village's honor and our honor, Gunther. We'll return to fly flats as heroes.

But first, we must rest. But my bones are weary from that cursed prison. Yes. Yes, brother. Yes. we shall do it. So do you clasp his arm? Yes.

Then I take it and I grasp it fully. You guys are having a conversation in the jacuzzi. Yes. In the jacuzzi. The little frog arms are sticking out. Yes, brother, yes. The bubbles. Your forearm is very cold, Gunther.

Yes. Tomorrow, Gunther. Tomorrow we fulfill our destinies. Oh, no. When they say that in stories, that means tomorrow, we are doing everything but. Uh-oh. Bunn-Leb gives you a nod.

wanders over to like a makeshift bed to take a rest. He grabs a towel and wraps around his wrist and walks over to it. His little hair up in a little towel as well. And then Captain Grumble seeing the spa is available. He gets in the spa now. You mentioned earlier that Bunlap had muscular wrists. Is he still a croak folk but like shredded? He's pretty buff.

He's a very... What are you doing in prison? You work out. He's just... Ripped. Yeah. Ribbit. That's good.

That's good. That's good. Nice. It's like a battle toad. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So everyone denoted a long rest, right?

Is her? Yeah. Natty. What? You wake up and you look around and you're half buried in sand. No moon, no stars. Only blackness that gradually meets a horizon of dim purple. Blacks.

sand dunes ripple with labyrinthian spirals, and at the center of the spirals are small cairns. Between dunes are shallow streams of mist that continue on past the horizon. Cool. Snooze button. Natty just starts kind of like playing with the sand and putting her hand in the sand, because she likes this place, she knows where she's at, and she's like, oh, yeah. And so she likes the, this is familiar territory. It's soothing to her. Yeah, you recognize this as being in the coil.

Like you said, is a place you know. Yeah. It's like when you play your jazz music really well and you get in that groove. Yeah. And you see your wife, the silent steed. My wife? Yeah, my wife. She conjures an hourglass of black sand.

But you notice it's not filled with very much sand. There's just a short amount of time you have to talk. I'm afraid this visit will have to be short. The ending is nigh, Natty. Gigi must not fail. The fate of this world and more depends on it. We're that close? I thought I had more time.

No. Show him the path. It may it be a path filled with music. The hourglass empties and you begin sinking into the black once more. Wait, wait, just about that, about that. I don't have my otaharp anymore. The sand's in your mouth. You can't talk.

Oh no. You wake up gasping for breath, spitting out sand. Natty just makes that look of just like off into the distance, just like, I've made a huge mistake. Was our first mistake trusting a child with the future of the universe? No, no, that's fine. But I gave up my auto harp. You wake up and you find something in your hands, black sand. Is it an auto?

No, dang it. It sifts through your fingertips and it reveals. an auto harp. What? Wait, really? Yeah, it's the auto harp of Autotune and Micah has already added that to your inventory. If you look, you will see it in there.

Wow, slide of hand. Full service, D&D right here. I love it. Okay, what you could be? Auto harp of Autotune. Do you want me to give a little description? Please. Let me just see what I should read.

Hey, can I make a request? Can you describe it and like with a rhythm that then can be auto-tuned. Can I make a request you don't request? Because I'm reading through this for the first time. Here's the description. It's a wondrous item crafted from shady pine wood. That's where I'm from.

A dark, cool gray wood with veins of bioluminescent, purple, and pink running through it. The frame of the harp has dark arcane symbols etched into it. And the strings are almost. invisible to the human eye unless the light catches them just right giving them a prismatic glimmering effect. This acclaimed auto harp never loses its tune and offers mystical modulation to its musician. Best I can do is $55. Sorry. Should I tell you what it does or should I leave that for a surprise later? Do you like surprises?

Do you like surprises? I'm with me. Have you guys seen that? No. It has abilities and they're going to surprise you later. Cool. But it's beautiful. I love it.

And Natty starts playing a little song. Great song. Just like musical. No, no words. Gunther, you wake up and instead of black sand in your hands, there's nothing. Duh. Why would you say that? Because what's the point?

What about Tov and Doug? Instead of getting something, I think Gunther lost something. Again? What? What? Oh, Bunlap's gone in knee. What happened? Bunlap is gone.

No. What? No. You find a note. He couldn't deal with the outside world. He went back to the prison. He's been, what is that called? Naturalized or something?

Institutionalized. Institutionalized, that's it. You find a note pinned to your tunic. Get busy living or get busy dying. Endy frog frame. Do you remember the name of the place? Is there what the note says if you want to read it, Gunther? Do you like surprises?

Okay, yeah. I think Gunther would get really sad. You want to share with his why? Are the others awake? Yeah. Natty starts playing an alarm sound. When that is gone. When did you notice he left?

I just now. He has left me a note. What did it say? Did he say anything last night before, you know, that would indicate that he might leave today? No. He says the wildflower visited him in his dreams. and she says that I'm not the devoted croak folk I once were. Oh.

She says it is up to him to retrieve the Wilder Shield. That's one less thing we got to do. I'm going to say, that makes our job a little bit. Sorry, sorry, sorry. That totally got the moment. He says, hey, this is thank you for his freedom. And he hopes our past cross once more. Can Tollve approach, Gunther.

You know, Gunther, I know that. things are really tricky right now with your deity. But ultimately you did do a good thing by letting Bunlap go, and you should take comfort in the fact that you redeemed yourself in that way. And I know that it's heard. I am not redeemed myself. Well, you freed your friend, you know. You felt like you had betrayed him for so long, so you fixed that.

You've done better. You've done good by your friend. But I have no honor. You have plenty of honor in my eyes, Gunther. I think you could also work to gain back your honor, you know? Yeah. It's something that, you know, it might go away temporarily to some people, but... No.

If you know deep down that you're honorable, you get it back. Yeah. No, you're correct. I must prove... I must prove that I am worthy. Yes. I will not let Bunlap face this on his own. Perfect. Right.

And we won't let you face that on your own either. Right, right, gang? Aw, friends. Right, Tov. Right, daddy. All right. And Captain Grumbles gives a big group hug for... everybody.

He feels a special. Stop biting my ear, Captain Trubbles. He's just nibbling on you. But I must go to Chimera Keep. It's the only place I know to go. Do you know if that's in Meadow Canyon? Because then two birds

one stone. Yeah, do I know it? Was it chimera Keep? Chimera. Camer. While we're trying to figure out how to say this place, I don't want to alarm anybody, but I did get a little bit of message that we might need to hurry up. From who? My wife.

Yeah, I think we should take that kind of order Maybe a little seriously then Do we know where Camaric Keep is? Please hold Your question is very important to us here At Tales from the Stinky Dragon All of our DMs are currently busy We'll get to you as soon as we can

I love this song Oh wow Take your time, I love it Yeah, yeah, I'm gonna do you. Can't really get the rights to this Thank you for holding Wow We're working hard to assist other players

And we'll get with you as soon as we possibly I thought they had us back, I thought they were back, no. Wow. The MIDI version is quite good. Remember when Gus said we had a lot to get through? Hello, thank you for calling Tells and Stingy Dragon. I'm your Dungeon Master Gustavo Sorolla. How can I assist you today?

No arrows, thanks. We've been through that. We're looking for where Chimira Aurora is. Oh, that's just beyond Meadow Canyon. So if you continue heading to the northeast past Meadow Canyon, you'll find Chimira Key. Thank you so much. Great, thanks. Do I do the customer review now or after you hang up on Mito?

hang up on me. Yeah. After we disconnect the call, don't hang up. You'll be prompted with a quick, three questions survey. If you can give me all fives,

I'd appreciate it. Thanks for content for Stinky Dragon. You have a great day. Yeah, you too. Thanks. I used to work at a call center and I'm having flashbacks

and I hate it. It's true. Team leader, what's the plan? All right, Tumito Canyon is first on the way. We shall go past there. We must push past the battle. That should be easy.

Personal need to go to Tumino Canyon as well. The Vailda is said to go there so. Yes. All our past live to there. Didn't really know where that sentence was going to go, did you? I'm not as good as Bunnap. Okay. He's much more eloquent. He was always the better talker.

All right. So you all begin bringing camp and heading to the northeast towards Meadow Canyon. I was going to see if there were any footprints to follow from when Bunlap left or if they had been covered in the snow. Make a survival check. Surely he'd be more stealthy than that. 17. There were two footprints in the same, but now there's only one.

This is where Bunlop carries me. Oh, wait a second. It has six toes. You find a set of prints and begin following them, but then they circle back onto the camp, and then head back towards the prison, and then come back to the camp. And then buried beneath the snow,

you find a note that says, uh-uh-uh. Uh-uh. Buntlap. little guy. It's a good, too bad they let him go out of prison. They'll never get him again. He's not going back. Okay, you begin heading northeast towards Muto Canyon and the mountains grow closer and closer on the horizon. The sky grows dim with a dark redness and in the distance, the rumbling of thunderous booms and the flashing of light can be seen at the canyon's edge amidst a structure,

perhaps a set of ruins. Everyone make a perception check. 23 perception for Doug. 23 for Nanny as well. So everyone except the six notices that the booms and the flashes appear to be artillery explosions. Oh, I was hoping it was a concert. Dang it. Are there any preparations you all need to make or are you ready to press on? Should we maybe like go in stealthily? Probably.

Yeah. What? So do we know that layout of where they're fighting? like, is the army closest to us? Or is that, as far as the front line, where's... Yeah, you are in Mortallian territory. So you are approaching the front. So you are, this is friendly territory for you that you are in.

Well, maybe we could do stealthy, but an alternative idea is maybe we could find, like, someone in charge on our side who could assist. Do we have any sort of, like, are we wearing Mortallian uniform at a event? any sort? Like, what are we actually wearing? I'm wearing nothing now. I've got such. My heart, I got out of the hot tub and it was so hot.

You just never put your clothes back on. All right, so take your armor off then? It's your own individual armor and whatever it is you're wearing, but you do have insignias denoting your affiliation with the Mortallion and your rank within the Mortality. Okay, so that probably helps to be like, clearly we're part of this thing. You also aren't Undarian. We also don't look like Undarion. It's very true.

Except for one of our children. But he's on a, he's on a leash. Well, like a chakamo. Chakuroy. We captured him. Wait, he looks like an Andarian? He's kind of demonic. He's like a little demon boy.

Yeah. So, I mean, I guess we should be armed because we don't know if, I mean, I know we're on our side. But we did see a bunch of Undarian prisoners head this way. So we should probably keep an eye out for those guys because they could be, you know, this could be like a flanking maneuver on our team. Yes, yes. Okay, so you're ready to lead the team in, Gunther? Yes.

Okay, you begin descending into the canyon, and as you get closer, you realize that the set of ruins you saw before is actually Fort Meadow, and it's currently under attack by an artillery barrage and a handful of Undarians. Twilight Sun barely illuminates crimson sky that's blanketed in snowy clouds. Darkness envelops the canyon and the valley beyond. The ground is carpeted with snowfall, blood, and corpses. The windswept and war-torn fortress is made of ancient ruins and patchwork walls. Inside, there's a bronze temple of the blood vather. Bronze? Bronze temple of the blood vather.

Correct. He's like that really important soldier dude. Isn't it? You're right, yeah. Who? John. We learned about him at the Ford Endridge, didn't we? Yes.

And they were building a temple to him. It was under construction when you all were there last. Is this it? I'm going to need everybody to remember this time that I remembered something without even looking at my notes. I'll remember you remembered. Because ain't going to happen again. So yeah, this must be what they're. they were building.

Well, no, the temple they were building was at Ford Endridge. Oh, so just building a different temple. Correct. There. Got it. Okay. Does it seem, like, how does it look like the Mortallion is doing? Are they?

What's the score on the game coach? Yeah. What's the score? It seems like right now things are at a stalemate. There are quite a few people who appear to be injured on the Mortaliant side, but they are currently repelling, you know, the small forces of the Undersenaylien. of the Undarians who are attacking. Is there any one that we can approach to ask for their, where the commanding officer is?

Yeah, where's the concession? Yeah, in my head you haven't fully approached, like you're still seeing it, you haven't walked into it yet. And we could also just go help to battle. Just start shooting? I mean, yeah. That'd be kind of a cool entrance and it would really impress our superiors. I guess is there any way from where we are that we could circle

and attack the Andarion surprise? As you're approaching, you see, Five Grilps at the Port Colus of Fort Meadow who appeared to be banging against it trying to gain the entrance. Okay. Oh, so they're inside the fort and we're outside of it. Correct. Yeah.

Yeah, that's why I said, like, in my mind, you hadn't entered it yet. Okay. But our dudes are in the inside. I was imagining it more like a... Big battlefield thing. Yeah, like there was like a, you know, trench kind of thing. That's how I pictured it too, so I'm glad you clarified. Yeah.

Yeah. Think more like Helms deep, but not like covering the entire valley, just like a fortified position. Gotcha. Okay. Wow, terrible place for a fort right in the middle of a canyon. What's master strategist came up with this one? Yeah, since we're on a canyon,

are there like anything we could roll into them or something, like rocks or something that we could roll towards the, to squish the bad guys? Yeah. You can tell from recent artillery barrages have loosened up boulders and large rocks in the area. And in fact, it looks like the strategy may have been used in the past

because there are also boulders up against. against the edges of Fort Meadow, along with bits of the fort itself that have fallen down and created rubble all around the edge of the fort. Doug, what do you think? You's with your beautiful mind. Can we somehow leverage our,

these builders and not destroy the fort, but also destroy them? Cut to Doug and he's that giff of that woman with all the math equations passing by him. I guess, yeah, could Doug basically like, I guess like, guesstimate the heaviness of one of these bolvers, like, see the angle that it would roll down, be able to calculate where to push it and how hard to push it to, like, hit one of them.

This is like simple math to Doug. This is like one plus one equals two kind of stuff. Yeah, this is Doug's bread and butter. So yeah, absolutely. You can totally do that. And before you do that, there was one more bit of texture. I'm going to read to you guys to kind of set the scene. So the fort itself is a windswept fortress that leans to and fro at the edge of a snowy canyon. It's built atop and amongst ancient ruins, which is kind of what you saw before. And there are what appeared to be stone tarot card megaliths

around the fort and a sanctif iron portcullis, which is where the Grilpar currently congregated. And there's a constant bombardment of artillery and skirmishes happening all around the area. So there's giant tarot card like... Megaliths, like big stone... Big stone structures. So it's like a monolith, so it's like like Easter,

or a stone hinge, but with tarot cards. Yeah. Cool. Bombardments, where are those coming from? It appears to be coming from some distance away. You can see a gathering of the Undarian army, and they're using siege weapons from quite a bit of distance to throw or to launch artillery at the fort.

Gotcha. If it matters for your layout, the front line or the Undarians are east of the fort. Well, we should probably take you. care of these gropes that are trying to get inside, right? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. So would I be able to push one of the boulders down?

It's pretty heavy, but you're able to put your back into it and get the boulder rolling. It rolls down and it accelerates and gain speed as it goes down the incline. And at the last second, the gilip turned around and see it, and they get smashed up against the portcullis. I cannot wait to hear the sound design for this moment. I want it to be bowling pins and then it to be like a video where it goes like, strike! It's like some stupid bowling video. D-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-d-d-d-d. I was thinking more like the Play-Doh factory

where you put Plato through like little stencils and it's just like squishiness coming out through. Oh, my God. Gross. I can't wait. But yeah, the way does appear to be clear now up to the portcullis. Now way to go, it's lethal. Yes. I mean, it was Gunther's idea.

I just executed on it. You just executed those gropes. Oh, dead. Quickly, before more. reinforcements arrive. Can we run? Yeah. I'll follow Gunther.

You begin leading the party down up to the portcullis. And we do the signature Army whistle. Which is? That's Christmas. That's just what came to mind. Because we're going into a canyon,

you know that thing where they chase the cheese wheel down like a giant steep hill? I'm just imagining us running, but also tripping and falling and trying to get up and running. Yeah, with all the sand. Yeah, yeah, totally. But you do manage to keep your feet under you long enough to approach the fort and the portcullis.

It's a scarred metal that softly glows with the holy radiance. Cool. Scarred metal. What do you mean by holy radiance? Like it's like charmed or like there's like a... Enchanted. Some type of... Right.

There's some kind of arcane energy on it. Okay. Hey, lad of sand! Stop with the Christianjerk! You see some soldiers. inside the fort who noticed you all and recognize you as being part of the Mortallion. And they begin raising the portcola's clue let you in. All right. Doug will go in?

Yeah. Yeah. Enter. And then you four enter. And as soon as you enter, the portcola slam shut behind you, once again, securing the fort. Oh, dang it. I left my auto harp on the other side. Could you open it?

Oh, Maddie. Wait, did anyone grab Captain Grumbles or he's still in the... He's here. Where's your commanding officer? The soldier who let you in looks at you and goes stiff at attention and salutes. Sir, it would appear you're the highest ranking officer here, sir. Oh, God. Oh, no.

Over the portcola's back up. We've got to go. We have made the situation worse. Well, first and foremost, this little guy right here, this is Giggy. He is not a Noondorian. Can we get like, I don't know, like a practice jersey that's like a bright color to put on them so that everybody knows. Do not shoot this child. A reflector vest.

Yeah. Just anything. That's funny. Who has been leading the defense so far? We must speak. They point to a charred corpse. Quick tell us everything you. Oh.

Well, I mean, it's not too far from the truth. Oh, no. Our last remaining officer died in battle earlier today, sir. What did he do to die? Yeah. Should we avoid that? Wait, what house? What's that?

mean? Like, did he, like, out there on the field shooting at him? Was he up here? Like, where was he when he died? He was giving orders up on the ramparts when an artillery barrage came down and destroyed his position. So what were his final words? What were, like, the last things he was about to say?

I think he was about to tell us we can go home and the war's over. We're winning. Oh, my God. So don't go to the ramparts. Okay, got it. We must go to the ramparts because that's where the commander must have been. He got killed up there, though He got blown up

Yeah, but if that's where the commander must go That's the only way we can see what's going on Okay, well, how many soldiers do we have at our disposal What's the current state of this battle? Don't say it that way Disposome? How many soldiers can... You're starting to sound like me, loving this death stuff.

How many able-bodied men and women do we have for this fight? Currently our army consists of about 130 soldiers of which approximately 70 are currently wounded and in recovery. Okay, that'll do. I imagine this is the part where we're going to take different parts of the fort, maybe. So we could all decide who wants to do what, right? Is that what's happening? My thought would be to go to the top and take stock of where the defenses and where the enemy is.

So you can do all of that. There is, of course, also the megalith, which, discussed, and there is also the temple for the bloodbather, which the soldier would have told you is where the people who are recovering currently. We could. Maybe a couple of us could go check out the taro cards, because that sounds interesting to me, but then maybe a couple of us could go and try to, the temple thing, maybe you could pray to the bloodbather and that would help.

Maybe just check out what's going on in there and maybe help some of the warriors. So we need someone to tender the wounded, and then some other people to lead the, I guess, counterattack. Yeah, the tarot cards are they like, where are they in relation to the tower that we're in? They are scattered around the various parts of the fort. There is one close to the portcolis, three along the eastern wall,

and two that appear to be along the northern wall. That guy that met us, I was going to ask it, what's your name? Soldier, what's your name? My name is private book, sir. Private Mark Book. Okay, bookmark. What did those things,

those big old cards, Uh, those? Uh, that's just part of the fort, I guess. They're giant pieces of stone. We use them to support the walls. But they got, they got designs on them. They don't do nothing like magical or cool. Now what's the significance?

No, that's egghead talk. Hmm, maybe the, because there's a magical glow around that's protecting it. Perhaps that could be it. Oh, glow around what? The fort. Yeah. Oh, you meant the holy glow on the, on the portcullis? Yeah.

The holy radiance. Okay. I think I feel with my connection to the arcane powers, I'd be a good person to go check out these possibly magical stones. I would think the team leader should divvy up what's going on here. That's a smarter move. Yes. That makes sense.

Maybe perhaps you go check out those stones. And me and... Torv. My name is Torf. Tov. Yeah. I almost caused you. And me and Tov with our experience.

fighting and we should check out the top of the rampart. So Doug and Natty are going to investigate the tarot cards and Gunther and Toll are going to go up to the ramparts. Did we have anybody going to the wounded? I'll do whatever you need me to do, little guns, uh. Maybe after the inspection of the taro, you go check out the wounded. That sounds good. Yeah, yeah. I know how to talk to people that are about to die.

Oh no, no, no. Nattie, why don't you stay outside the temple? No, maybe you keep a close eye on Natty. I'll put it back in a ring for the time being. There was 70 before what happened. So that means we're going to do taro first. Okay. Yes.

I would assume you have this discussion with this, with private mark book here, by the portcullis. So the closest mon or megalist would be the one that I said was right by the portcullis there on the south. I assume that's the one you would want to go to first, or is there a different one you'd want to go to? Yeah, that's fine. Might as well, yeah, start closest and go outwards. Okay.

So, you know, you approach it, and it's big. It's, you know, now that you see one up close, you can tell that all of them, all six of them are seemingly untouched giant tarot cards of stone that stand amidst the crumbling walls of the fort. The card artwork appears to be, you're looking at the backside at the moment, as if it's face down waiting to be revealed.

The backside depicts a symbol you're very familiar with Doug. It has the symbol of a starry eye. Would that be the veiled up? Yeah, the star yi is the symbol of the veiled eye. Okay, I just wanted to confirm. So you said these things are just kind of like sitting on the floor, leaning against the wall face down? Right, the backside is exposed currently.

Are they a size that we could maneuver? They're big. Yeah. Like, basically they're not being lifted by, like, people. They got, like, machinery has to be involved kind of situation or, like... You would think so based on the size. They're pretty massive. If they're leaning, can we, like, scoot underneath and see what's the, on the face side?

Yeah, you can give it a try. Doug could get in a small places. Doug, find out what these cards are. I think I'm going to burrow. Like I've seen our friend Gunther do. I don't like when you do that. But that's how he says, burrow. Yeah, you be you.

You guys talking about burrowing over here? You approach it and begin trying to shimmy your way around to take a look at it. And as you touch it, the entire megalus used to glow, Doug. and it seemingly rises up and then flips around revealing itself to you. Oh my goodness. Hey, Doug, you figured it out. I could figure it out, I guess. You see, it reveals the Wheel of Fortune that's upside down.

Wheel! Stop! It's a giant wheel with flutes for spokes, and it's held by a figure with wings and amber eyes. Do I recognize that creature? No. No, you do not. But his name is Pat Sejack.

Hmm. And you said this is on the reverse side of where we saw the symbol of the starry-eyed. Yeah. Okay. Interesting. Hey, Doug, stop touching it for a second. Okay. Doug, hands off.

Yeah, you stopped touching it and it remains revealed. Okay. You've activated. I wonder if any of us could do that or if it's just me. You know, the scientific method says we should try. That's true. Just for reference, I don't remember if I said it or not, but the appearance of the card is upside down.

I don't remember if I said that one at first. Yeah, the Wheel of Fortune is upside down? Yeah. Well, that matters in tarot. What about the star-stari-eyed? It could be viewed either way. You can't tell. Okay, gotcha.

Like a bicycle card. I'm going to have to look up the symbology of tarot cards after this. Why don't you make me an intelligence check? Oh. Okay. I roll. I roll. Are there any Vanna Whitewalkers?

21. 21. What goes up? Must come down. A downturn. Greater forces that are outside of human control are at work here. Are we given this fort a reading? Is that what we're involved with right now?

Outside human control? Yes. Well, it also says you will have good luck in a new relationship and money is coming your way. It's 24. When someone very close to you will betray you. Okay. Natty will walk over. to the nearest next one and see if touching it does the same thing or maybe it's got to be a book bear.

I also would say that Doug would, I think, do a rough drawing and take notes in like a little, in his like little notepad. Sure. The next closest one is on the eastern wall. And as you turn to walk in that direction, you both turn and look and see Private Mark Book is standing there, slack jawed, kind of staring at the megalith and says, I've never seen it do that before. Have you guys ever tried touching it? Yeah. up there earlier. That's interesting place to take it out.

It's like a little lean tent. Yeah. Okay, well, let's see if it works on the next one. Natty, give it a shot. I do it, but I think it must be you at this point. So there are three along the eastern wall, but one of them is further south. That would be the one closest to you guys. So it's kind of like in the south, close to the southeast corner of the fort.

I touch it. You walk up and like the other one, you know, the back has the starry eye. You walk up to it and touch it and it begins to glow and pull. turns around moving itself to you. I've got the touch. Whoa. You've got the power. Yeah.

It reveals the emperor also upside down. It's a figure dripping with blood. He's eating an apple that looks like the world. Oh. Hey, Doug, do your intelligence check. Yeah, could I try to figure out what this one means? You're the smart one. Yeah, make me another intelligence check.

Marsh. 19. You're doing the grape lady again. Like, the dye hit the edge of my screen on D&D Beyond and, like, started rolling one way and then flipped. This one represents the overreach of control. Something seeks to dominate like a tyrant, and a power struggle is on the horizon. Yeah, we already know that. We're hit a board.

Okay. And do all of these have the veiled eye symbol? Well, so far, these two have had the starry eye on them. Yeah, okay. Okay. Well, let's just keep this going. Yeah, that sound good? Absolutely.

Yeah, just a little north of here along the same wall. There's another one. Natty holds up Giggy and lets him test this one. Big a roll. Have you ever seen, by the way, the test people do with their dogs? That's exactly what I was imagining. Hold them up against the wall and if they put their paws out, they're supposed to be smarter. Yeah, my dog does not do that.

My dog does not do that. Chris is about to do it with Booker right now. Boker, where are you? He might be too big. I rolled a five. Diggy doesn't want to be picked up. It begins, like, nipping at your hands, demanding to be put back down on the ground.

Okay. Then, uh, let's Captain Grumbles do it. Oh, is he with us? Yes, he goes where I go. I'm rolling deep. Captain Grumbles goes up to it and touches it, but nothing seems to happen. Doug goes and pushes Captain Grumble out the way and touches it.

Doug, you touch it, and once again, just like the other two, it begins to glow. I don't know if I said it. This also has the starry eye on the back. Okay. It begins to glow and turns around, and you see the world. It's three stained glass circles that are red, blue, and green, and they're overlapping each other.

A triangle holds them together. That's some Illuminati-looking stuff. And you said they were red, blue, and green? Correct. Is this upside-down? No. This one's right-side up? Correct.

Okay, well... This one, you had good rules, so I'm going to go ahead and give it to you. Thank you. You know, this symbolizes the moment when the inner and the... the outer world, the self and the other, become a single entity. It indicates the completion of a long-term project. Okay, that makes sense. Long-term project.

Maybe the next one will tell us secret button that turns off the Endaryan army. Natty, do you think we're in the puzzle game that Doug wants to create? I don't see the code quite yet. Yeah, I think you called it the witness. Is that what you called it? Oh, man, that game. I watched somebody speed run that game. That's insane.

That's a tough game. That is, man, I wanted to break my controller a few times. We'll do a quick smash cut now that you've done three to the other guys who are going up on the ramparts. Gunther and Toll, you go up on the ramparts and from here you get a view of the battlefield in the front line off to the east, the Undarians in the distance. Is it a bookmark with us or, oh, no, he's with the others? He's walking around like in the inner courtyard currently. Okay. He was talking to us with the taro.

Yeah. Who's in charge besides us? We are, but yeah, anybody else? Any other bookmarks? There's two privates who are sitting there, looking very weary. And as you approach and ask that question, they stand up and snap to attention and salute. No, sir, you are in charge.

To brief us on everything that has happened. The Hondarians continue to initiate skirmishes with us to the east. We've encountered a number of dredches, grilps, demongrels, and even notorious. Oh, I hear those are very notorious. Very good. There's also a pretty consistent artillery barrage that comes in every so often here.

Do we have any, like, ranged weapons at our disposal or any, like, plans that were in progress but got stopped because your combatant officer exploded? The lieutenant was about to inform us on that before his incident. Sir. Bomber. We have bows and arrows at our disposal.

Artillery. How bad is it and have you made any progress in stopping it? It's primarily catapults and tribal chaise. They are keeping those weapons out of our range currently, so there's no way to stop them at the moment. It seems the Undarian force grows stronger every day. And you know the numbers in which we face? If I had to guess, I would estimate there are approximately 200 Undarians currently massed out there.

Whoa, that's a lot of dudes. Okay. Is there anything that this fort outside of like, you know, a foothold on the grand battlefield. Is there anything that this fort is, like, protecting? What was, like, the original purpose of Meadow Canyon? I know you got the cool Terrot cards over there. Those are fun.

Yeah, as you say that, you turn and look in one of them glowing and raising in the air and revealing itself to Doug. Oh, they look like they're having a great time. It looks like it's an upside-down wheel of fortune. Is that a wheel of fortune over there? Love that show. Give me an A. It's buying a val.

The fort itself surrounds the basilica of the bloodbather, of course. Some say that perhaps there are even older ruins below that. Uh-oh. Oh, no. Is there any, like, ancient myths or stories about, like, some, like, magical force from the bloodbather or something? Because, like, you know, Gunther, maybe we could, like, activate some, I don't know, super weapon that's in the temple.

Super weapon. There are legends of the bloodbather carved in the temple. I've read a few if you want me to share them with you. Yeah, go ahead, please. Yeah, go nuts, please, share. Also, don't, you know, like, this whole rank thing. It's a little silly-willy, you know, just... We're casual around here.

Yeah, just, you know, unbutton a couple, you know, just call me Tov, okay? You spin the chair around and sit on it backwards. I'm a bit of a cool general, you know? I'm one of the cool generals. I heard that the blood bather oiled himself up in poison and jumped down a Kraken's throat to kill it. All right. Okay.

Yikes. Cool. We'll keep that as an option. Legend also says that he was running around and cutting enemies left and right, but he ran so fast that he cut a hole into the center of the world and fell through. That's pretty sick. Okay. Must have been going real fast.

The other private interrupts and eager to tell his own story. As the story goes, he was atop a wagon whilst facing a horde of enemies. Fortunately, he had recently come into a large trove of explosives and went down in a wagon bomb blaze of glory. Okay, now we're talking, explode-y things. I don't believe that one, though, because my great-grandmother witnessed the whole thing. She said the warrior spun in circles whilst wielding his sword,

mowing enemies down like a cyclone of Carverick. And someone managed to land a fatal blow on him, but he kept his momentum killing dozens more after his death. Hell yeah, that's what's super. Super sick, that's right. Super cool, yes. Yeah, man. Anyways, what do we do to my country?

And I heard they killed so many enemies that the ground turned into a marsh. And the Victor drowned in the blood of his enemies. Oh, gross. Whoa. Sick, that's like an album cover. Cool. Are you able to, how are you able to continue the defense for the time being? Well, we seem to be holding up.

The fort's in rough shape, but we're doing the best we can. We've managed to hold him off so far. Uh, okay, so Gunther, it looks like Naddy and Doug are doing some, like, magical things. You know, there's a floating rock over there. So, like, that might be our best bet. Is, you know, some sort of, like, magic weapon. Yes, for magic weapon sounds cool because, you know, right now we just have bows and arrows and swords and nothing. And we, you know, no wagon of explosives.

So maybe we go and check out the bloodbather with the... others and reconvene there. You'll chill here. Take it easy, but also, you know, yes. Yeah, you know, yeah, well, don't let him take the fort. Yeah, yeah, what he said. Yes, yes, yes, sir. He begins to go in a salute. They remembers it was casual and like, yeah, yeah, just reaches out his hand for a handshake and then stops and just like, kind of looks at his feet and turns around. Yeah, yeah, just, yeah, here, here, piece pump here, boom, let it blow up. A pat you on the back. Go get him. Yeah, yeah. But tap. Yep, yeah, yeah. All right.

See you later. All right. Catch you later, dude. And Gunther does finger guns. Boom, boom. Ha ha. Well, no, except for I would not shoot at you or shoot at them. Okay.

All right, bye. So you guys are leaving the ramparts and heading down and what's your plan? I guess we're going to meet back up with... Wait, Gus, you didn't figure out their plan from all of that? We're going to meet with Doug and Natty to... I'm assuming wrap up the tarot cards, but there's probably something else. in the Bloodbather Temple, so maybe we can uncover a magical weapon together.

Yeah. So we're going to meet them there now that we've got a sense of the top. When you say meet them there, you mean like, and the tarot cards as they're continuing this? Oh, I was saying we go to the Bloodbather area. Okay, so you're going to go.

Because that's where they were going to go after the tarot cards. Yeah, they're about halfway done. I figure, like, when you're done at this point, now you all are at the same time. They're about to do the fourth tarot card here on the eastern wall. Yeah.

What was that guy's name? His name was Private Doggear. Take it easy, Doggier. Woof, woof. I think that was cool. Yeah, I like that guy. That was a chill dude. Hey, hey, hey, hey, dog here.

You're the man now, dog. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, back to Doug and Natty. The next closest megalith was also on the eastern wall, but it's kind of in the northeast corner. Okay. Let's touch it. I mean, why stop it's for you when we could do all of them,

You know? Let's do it together this time. Oh, I like that. Should we hold hands and then touch it? Yes. Okay. One, two. Three.

Doug grabs Natty's hands. It's very moist. It's like my hands. Yeah, it's pretty normal for me. Yeah, we touch it. You touch it and it glows and turns around revealing the moon. It's a shadowy moon that eclipses the sun turning red. The world below is split in two.

And it's upside down and right way up. Right side up. And the world is split in two. And you said it's red moon? A shadowy moon eclipses the sun turning red. You know how when there's an eclipse, the sun changes colors or appears to be a different color. So it's not a blood mood? Correct.

Okay. Things may not be what they seem. Therefore, you need to proceed with caution. Watch out for liars and haters. Don't read the comments. Yeah. Screw the haters, everybody. Sort of tweet from somebody.

Except for our Patreon commenters. We like those. Yeah, of course. They're not haters. They're communicators. Hey. It's the only thing I could think of. It worked, it worked.

Okay. The next one is on the northern wall, kind of close to the center. It's a little west from here where you all are. You want to head over to that one? Yes. Yes, sir. All right, who's touching it? I'll do it this time.

All right, Doug, you reach out an arm, and as you prepare to touch it, it begins glowing, and it reveals itself to you. It reveals the sun. But before we saw the moon. Radiant sunbeams cascading over four children holding hands And their names is Doug and Toll and Natty We don't know, it could be bookmark and dog here

Yeah They chiseled these pictures themselves Question about these imagery The imagery we've been seeing on these And this just made me think of it But have we seen any of these before Or is this the first time we're seeing this type of imagery? Because we've seen a lot of like tapestries and a lot of like things with like pictures and things depicting people holding their hands up and stuff like that is like does it seem to be of the same like artist?

Why don't you make me a history check? 17. You don't think you've seen any like this before. This is new to you. Okay. And the four children that the sun is beaming over, do those just seem like kind of like generic little humans type thing? like they don't have like a face or like identifiable features. Correct.

And I'm going to read the meaning right now. You provide others with inspiration and joy. People are drawn to you because they're capable of seeing the warm and beautiful energy which you bring into their lives. Well, I want to take this one home with me. Nadi, you got any questions about this one? This one's a bit different from the other ones. Very.

Yeah. The other ones just felt like they were like almost like stating the obvious a little bit. I just want it's more about like you, you know, rather than just like a situation. Yeah, and there's four people. And we're the ones who can activate it. Oh.

Spooky. Oh my gosh. Okay, well, I guess there's only one more to check out. Okay. The final one is in the northwest corner. Not too far from where you are. You head over there and who's touching this one. I kiss it.

You give it a kiss. As you lean into Puckerman. up and kiss it, it reveals itself to you, showing the tower. A lightning bolt strikes a concealed tower and the facade crumbles. Oh, that's not foreshadowing. Hey, guys. Well, they're hoping the tower. It means that you're living in an illusion.

You must remove the mask and expose the truth of the situation in order to change it. Let go and let the ego fall away. Gunther. As you are looking at it, it seems almost like this tarot card begins to swing. swirl with some kind of arcane energy, and it begins drawing you to it. And it almost like, with a gravity of its own, pulls you in, Doug and Natty. Toll Van Gunther, as you're walking across the courtyard, leaving the ramparts to head to the Temple of the Bloodbather, the nearest one to you also begins to swirl and pull you into it

as well. Your surroundings transform. The first thing you see is yourselves in a reflective floor, almost like glass. The ceiling is made of starry constellations, constantly shifting, and small puffs of clouds slowly circle the room. Doug, you recognize this. This is where you had your vision of the veiled eye. But where is he?

The clouds and the room come to a standstill as if frozen in time. A gem-like glint appears among the stars and reveals itself to be a floating crystal flute. Following the flute outsteps an elderly dracon that, Pove, you recognize. Oh, y-hoo! His amber eyes gleam behind full-moon spectacles as he conducts the flute. The dracon has shimmering burnt orange scales and constellations. patterned robes. Curved horns

poke through the brim of his hat and he flashes a sharp-tooth smirk sweeping his tail in wings as he guides the flute's bittersweet melody with virtuous grace. Can you please tell the class? It's the person that you saw.

It's also if you've seen the YouTube video of our podcast, there's someone narrating at the beginning. And he sounds like Micah, right?

Maybe. Felicitations, my faithful friends. Sorry, that's happening live. That scared me. I am Maestro Ferenks. We got to put a bell around this guy. We've met before, but in another life. The failed eye is not here anymore.

He was forced from this sacred space when word of his whereabouts were leaked by the sea drinker. But fear not, Doug. He is nearby. Just beyond the canyon in the veiled veil. Go ahead. Hey, he is waiting for you there. What are you?

Yeah, yeah, what and who are you? Yeah, part in the rudeness of my phrasing, but I can't think of another way to say it. I wish you had time for me to explain in exact detail all that is happening, but alas, the future is nearly upon us. But the good news is the future isn't fixed. The bad news. The future is always nearly upon us.

That's how future works. Very insightful, Gunther. But the bad news is a war is coming. And not just the thousand-year war between Udarians and the Mortallion. No, I speak of a war within and well beyond this world, being waged by a monster who was once a man. He takes a different shape in each realm, but you can be sure he is in this world.

Does his name start with an H? Yeah, you got a name. You don't know that. I know, I know. That's Barbara. I can tell you the first step is finding the path final. We never did that, did we? No, we didn't. That was on a to-do list.

We totally missed it. Is he the Pathfinder? It's not totally at your fault. I've taken great lengths to hide the Pathfinder from misguided militants like Infernes. But you must be quick about finding them. The veiled eye can guide you, but he will need help remembering. So be patient. Is there anything we could do to the veiled eye to help him remember?

As you're saying that the crystal flute squeaks at the Dracon. I'm afraid that's all the time you have. I can say trust your instincts, Doug. The fate of Inneuverse falls on your shoulders, all your shoulders, but you're not alone. Remember, you have an abundance of friends. Friends you will meet very soon. The maestro smirks with a wink, and the four of you find yourselves back in Fort Meadow, standing in front of that sixth megalith that was revealed.

Wait, but do you have, like, a recipe for a nice tea drink or coffee or something? Myestro! Myestro! You all hear a whistling in the distance that appears to grow louder. Oh, is it the song? No. It's artillery. All four of you make a dexterity saving throw.

Yeah. Let the lore happen. 16. 13. 9 and 7. 1. I rolled 1. That one for a plus 5 for 6.

A single arrow flying out of the sky and hits you gun through it. I imagine it hits me, goes through me, and then also sticks to... It just hits you in the shoulder. Oh!

Doing eight points of damage. And it's sticking out of your shoulder and there's a note attached to it. Is it a question? Quick, how bad... How bad does it look? It looks like an improv warm-up. It's some sort of an ice-breaking arrow.

If you could only have one meal for the rest of it. What does the arrow say? Yeah, could we pluck the note off the arrow and read it? Well, I assume Gunther has it. It's in his arm. Yes, let me just, uh, I guess. Pull, read the note while the arrow is still in me.

Hey, Gunther, tell me what you had for breakfast today. Tell me what you had for breakfast. Did I have? What did I have? While he's doing that, Natty pulls the arrow out. Brilliant. So what is the arrow? That was it safe?

Oh, let me read it now. There's a lot of blood. Hold up, it is. Surrender immediately, or we will lay siege to your so-called fort and leave none alive. I await to reply, O'Darian overlord and sunslayer, infamous. You see in the distance, the Undarmi marching into the snowy canyon from the east below the fort, led by Infernus riding a flying fire frog. Cool. So you know, based on what you all have.

have learned so far that there are probably about 130 soldiers, about 70 wounded, and probably about 200 members of the Undarme marching. 71 wounded. What do y'all want to do? Lock the doors. We heard a tale from our good friend dog eater, dog ear, dog ear, dog ear? Dog ear? Dog ear.

That the bloodbather could, there's tales of a great warrior in the bloodbather. Perhaps we shall see if there's anything we could gain from there. Yeah, I mean, that guy, Maestro Ferrinx, he did say that, you know, friends will help and that we should find them soon. So maybe that could be a friend who will help us. Nettie takes the arrow and a piece of paper and writes a note on it and says, give us a sec and shoots it over the wall. I also like the idea of Infernes, just like writing the note and signing it with like a little harder.

Love and furnace. Their lips on the paper. So I guess our plan is to ignore the note and go find the bloodbather? Yes. Let's go to the temple and see if there's anything there. Private Mark Book runs up to you, Gunther. Salutes and asks, what do you order, sir? Defend it all costs.

Do not let them in. Defend it all costs. Understood. We'll take care of it, sir. They are coming. And as he turns to scramble away to defend the wall, the sky cracks with lightning and thunder. A downpour of rain begins to fall,

but not of water, of blood. You turn back to look for Mark Book, but he's gone. One after another, the soldiers are being snatched into the sky as if by invisible streams, screaming as they disappear behind blood-soaked clouds. A realization falls on all of you. Every soldier now snatched into the sky was human. You find yourselves hilariously outmatched

and Lundarmi is nearly on your doorstep. I don't think they trained as well enough for this moment, guys. Find out if their training was sufficient or not on the next episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon. This is bad. Okay, so, Gus, you go ahead and roll for 200 dice for our initiative. Oh, my gosh. We'll be done just in time for our next episode. I'll get started on that now.

We'll be back next time with more adventures from Tales from the Stinky Dragon. Bye. Forever. Remember us. We interrupt this program. With an important announcement, Stinky Dragon has finally released a Stinky Dragon soundtrack vinyl! That's right folks, we're taking pre-orders for a Stinky Dragon soundtrack vinyl called Infinite's Best of the Score. That means all of your favorite tracks from Infiniteite campaign, step into the Stinky Dragon, introducing the Infanites,

Smarsh is Still King, there's so many, there's 20 tracks in this thing, it's the vinyl itself is a stinky Dragon Infinite Green. Oh, you got to go to store. stinky dragonpot.com right now and look at it because it's custom cover art of the Infinites themselves. And I'm so excited for you to see it. I'll wait right here. You go

look. I'm just kidding. But seriously, go pre-order it right now. Pre-orders are only available through the month of March. So you want to do it quick. And if we does well, we might release other albums, you know, different soundtracks of Sticky Dragon variety. Who knows? I don't know.

find out. Anyway, I'm really excited that you guys finally get to have a physical piece of media of the music in your hands and hopefully you don't scratch it like I did. All right, store.com. Here at stinky dragon, we like doing something, I think it might surprise you. It's playing d&D. That's right. We have two tavern tales that are being released in this month and they're only available for patrons. You can check out the Stinky Rory Tavern Tale, Infiniteite Interns, and the Rules of Chaos, part two, available right now to listen to. Our other Tavern Tale is C Squad Season 2 premiering on March 18th, again for patrons only.

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and other stinky perks. Once again, that's stinky dragonpod.com. We are incredibly grateful for your support which makes this show possible. Some of our friends voiced NPCs in this episode, like Bunlap, voiced by yourself. Devin Finn at Devon underscore Carruthers. The Silent Steed, voiced by Jessica Fasami at Jessica Vassami.

That's three, four A, eight, five A's. Yeah, Jessica Vassami. Private Mark Book, voiced by Mike Pertle. At Pertletronic 1. Private Dog Gear, voiced by Mort Burke, at Mort Burke. From the podcast, Rebrand, at Rebrand the Pod. Chris and Blaine were guests on a recent episode. where they attempted to rework the Quaker Oates brand.

Mort also has a stand-up special coming out on February 22nd called There's Beauty in It All and is publishing a book called Treehouse on Substack. Infernes, voiced by Laurel Rothamel at Laurel Rothamel. Some of our Stinky Dragon patrons provided the legends of the Bloodbather heard in this episode like Searcy, Solar Flair 10, useless ceiling fan, Rat Shaker, Abby McPee. This week's Arrow Question was submitted by Viola Game Boy. Viola Game Boy? Time will tell.

I'm a musician, so I kind of go with Viola, but, you know, viola is a name. So, anyway, hope that makes sense. This episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon was produced by Ben Ertz. And Micah Rysinger, written and composed by Micah Rysinger, just like the vinyl soundtrack coming on right now, and edited by Alina LaCorcheque. Tune in next time for another thrilling episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon. go check out the vinyl.

Can I ask a quick question? I don't remember us doing this, but we mentioned it before that now we have our personal inventory and our party inventory and somebody in this group put farts

in our party inventory. Wait, we have a party inventory? Where did this happen? I don't know, but somebody put farks in here. Who would do that? That... I don't know about... It's funny, I can't tell if it was Gus

because his camera was off for a second so I couldn't tell. It was also frozen, like, with his hand like at his chin. Looking, you know, suspicious. That sounds like someone else in this group. That does not sound like me. The good news is there are four of them, so each of us gets worse.

They were very thoughtful, whoever they were. We could use them underwater to propel us. Good idea. They're oxygen bubbles like in Sonic. Quick breathe. Dun, dun, dun, dun, dun.