Tales from the Stinky Dragon - C03 - Ep. 43 - Under Oondar Fire - Rules of M’Prov

Episode Date: May 13, 2026

Brutaliteam has to learn how to ""Yes, and"" against a mysterious monster in the Veiled Veil Support us directly on Patreon https://www.patreon.com/stinkydragon - get access to ad-free episodes, bonus content like Stinky Dragon Adventures & Second Wind, our patreon-exclusive discord, and more! Check out our new merch at store.stinkydragonpod.com ! Watch even more Stinky Dragon Content on our Youtube channel - gaming videos, animations, and more! https://www.youtube.com/@stinkydragonpod Follow us on our socials at https://linktr.ee/TalesFromTheStinkyDragon Cast: Gus Sorola, Blaine Gibson, Barbara Dunkelman, Jon Risinger, Chris Demarais Writer/Editor/Composer: Micah Risinger Producer: Benjamin Ernst Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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To put AI to work for people, visit servicenow.com. Hail all you hexahed he drus, slough into the stinky dragon and lap up our latest libation. That rings a gel. It's a mixture of mutate tea bags, boiling brain juice, squeeze of lemon and orange ooze, a dribbling of honey, ginger reactive ale, and shaken with infuse ooze ice cubes. One engulfing of this glop, and you'll remember that size does matter. Previously, our adventurers dared to dance with deities, demigods, and demons until they departed near death's door. After a lie down and look at the apothecarium, which is how it's

meant to be pronounced, they left for a lightless, luminousant labyrinth. They reluctantly resolved some riddles and randomly rift up an eyebrow-raising apparatus. Round up a refreshment and let's resume this rank recollection. Apothecarium. Hey everyone, welcome to Chelsea Sticky Dragon. My name is Gustav Osserola. I'm going to hit our four players with an arrow.

Woo! I realize that when the maestro gives their name of the drink, it is extremely reminiscent of the same energy as the pun names of the shops that open next to Bob's burgers during the opening intro of Bob's burgers. Yes, absolutely.

Everyone going to roll a D20 because you're going to get ready to answer these questions. This question, and this question, these question, is... These question. If you could learn a new language, what would it be? 16. 18. 16. 16. 16. 16. 16. 16. 18. 16. Barba. You're up. You guys had those ready to go. My gosh.

All right. 16. Barbara. You're up. Hello, everybody. It's me, Doug Boone, here for another episode of Tales from the St. Yankee Dragon, the canon campaign. And this answer is also canon to my character. Oh, and I'm a bug bail, Artificial, played by Barbara Duncleman. Hello, everybody. And, you know, as you guys already know from recording this show with me, I know a few languages, including Korean. Oh, yeah, that's right.

Wow. You know the supernatural people of Korea. The fantasy race. Well, it's funny you should say that because Doug Boone has always had an interest in learning Japanese. Because, you know, it's a very, very cool language. A lot of really great people I've heard, you know, live there, and it's a really cool place to be and to visit. And whenever Doug gets a chance to explore other realms and maybe go to Japan,

he'd like to be prepared. That's a good line of thinking. Be prepared for potential future travel. Thank you. Oh, I was going to ask if you could bust some out. There it is. Funny because Barbara knows a little bit of Japanese, but I'm trying to pronounce it poorly as Doug.

Oh my gosh, million dollar idea. We create our own, like, phone assistant that's voiced by Doug. Oh, gosh. Doug, send an alarm for 5 o'clock.

Okay, but actually your appointment's at 5.30, so I suggest maybe setting it for 4.30, so have time to shower, and, you know, have a nice breakfast in the morning. So, sending alarm for 4.30. Doug, Doug, stop, Doug. Stop, Doug. Stop.

Ducks, stop. Anyways, by the way, you know the significance of the time, 430? Because 4 plus 3 is 7. It's your dog fact of today. I want this. Yep. Okay. Thanks. Thanks, Doug. It's good to know.

Ah, so me my son. Oh. I believe next may have. have been Gunther. Yeah. Chris Ramirez here. Gunther. Crokefolk fighter.

On board. You sound like a noir detective. Me, Gunther. Here and I. For me, what I would like to learn is the language of draconic. You see, this is, there is some myth in my people that we once descended from a small water dragon. I do not believe it to be true. but I like the idea of it

It would be nice to talk to dragons, yes I've heard people speak draconic It's quite a beautiful language Beautiful language Yes, it is very pretty Very exotic Yes So according to you, Gunther

The evolutionary tract of a dragon Would be to go from there to a croak foe Well that is not what to me I don't believe this But that is what some people in my village believe We went from dinosaurs to chickens So why would that be such a crazy idea? Yeah.

Have you ever practiced any draconic things? Do you have any draconic you could bust out for us, Gunther? I only know one simple phrase, which is, thank you, I'll have another. Oh, wow, that's beautiful. Yes. It hurts the ears. Well, I like it. Well, as far as arrow answers, go,

Tov. He wants another. Oh, hello. I'm Blaine Gibson and I play Tov, the male Thamantec Barbarian level eight. Uh, you. Uh, oh, we're talking about languages. You know, I know so many languages I can program them in. But the one language that I struggle to learn is the language of love.

Oh. Yeah, I'm looking for love in all of the wrong places. and, you know, maybe I can find that someday, you know. In the meantime, I will work on my Spanish. Over there, they called me Dose. Can we hear a little bit of there? Oh, Ola, me amo doze. Me incantant los.

What, what's, what's, what's, Osos, biko. Is that a bug bear? Is that bug bear? Is it bug bear? I mean, you said like beak bear or spicy bear? Las Ranas! Me Gusa las Ranas.

Gonna call Doug a spicy bear now. Oh, spicy bear. What is, uh, what's Yuhu in Spanish? Oh, it's, uh, Ola. Ola. Oie and me gusa los, uh, drag queens. I don't know what the names are. Oh, la, me yamo, doce.

Doce. Oh, that's, that's impressive. I was going to say, take an inspiration die for your amazing translation of your name into another language. I already got one. Did you know it's Juney in Japanese? All right, 12. Learning a lot from everyone. But last up is Natty.

Hello, everybody. It is John Reisinger here playing Natty Wonder, who is a drow, drag queen mother. and if I got to learn another language, I think I would just default to always, I've always wanted to understand undercommon. We get a lot of folk who come and sell their wares in my hometown in our market, and they're these nice ladies who made the best wigs anywhere. And I couldn't understand.

We had the hardest time making transactions work between us, because they only spoke undercommon. I don't know it. And so we just had to fumble through me getting the right wig that I wanted every time. And we sorted it, but I would love to be able to just not only be able to buy their wares with a lot more ease, but just compliment them on the beauty of these hairs. Now, Nadie, if they were selling their wares in Undercommon, were they selling their underwears? You know, it's so funny about that.

We don't record visuals for our show, but I was watching Blaine's face during John's answer. And I saw the smirk starting and I was like, Blaine has a joke. Blaine has a joke. Cued up. It's coming here. Fresh off vacation. I'm full of the energy.

Yeah. The Vinn and Vigur. I could see everyone's tells. Yeah. It's weird that drought don't get under common as a starting language. I had to verify that as you were talking, John. Yeah. Because it is, it is elvish in like nature.

Yeah. But it is not a drought dialect. It's, yeah, I guess from what I can see, Jurigar get it, but not drow, even though it's a language supposedly written in elvish script. Yeah. This makes no sense. Well, that's why they were there. You know, it made sense for them to be in the night market with us, but we just, you know,

it's just kind of like, you know, just someone in the next town over speaks a little different than you, and you just don't know exactly how they use their language. Yeah. It's coming from someone who's dating a Cajun. They got a whole world over there. in Louisiana, the stepper from the United States. Did you... Were you dating your girlfriend during campaign one at all?

Or did that start happening after? Because you were essentially like a Cajun character almost, right? Like, inspiration. I know for a fact that, yeah, we were just pre-COVID is when we started. So yeah, all the way. That's why mud is from the Bayou. The Bayou. Okay, got it. Michael wanted to incorporate that part of John's life.

Stinky dragon lore. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. I was like, if you did that before you were dating, it was meant to be. Yeah, yeah. No, I have, I have adopted my girlfriend's culture of eating just fried brown stuff all day long. I know it's delicious, but that sounds gross. That's all, the Cajun cuisine is delicious and all brown.

There's no other colors in their spectrum. Healthy. Just like America. Yeah. What would be a vile habit of? vile habit is, oh, yes, it is quite clear. It is when you dump your waste and trash into the water, where people are, the children are swimming.

And that is, it's just a vile thing. You should keep the water clean. As you all are thinking about the answers to these questions in your head, the scenery around you changes. But once was an empty room transforms and becomes a buzzer. wrestling night market. The floor, however, does remain blank and white.

And in the night market, you see a giant drink vending machine that is smashing its way towards you, dumping trash into all the fresh water that lies around. And the rule of law for this arena is, Thou shall be curious. You're surrounded by a moonlit forest of deciduous trees. Market stalls line a thoroughfare between tree trunks, but none of his how Nadi remembers the outskirts of her town. The trees are choked by black oil and slimy vines, and instead of technicolor leaves, goopy flim dribbles from the branches. The market stalls are stained with sewage and littered with spoiled detritus. Nailed to one of the choke trees

is a plastic wrap that reads in aggressive all caps, Thou shall be curious. Bursting through the trees above the canopy is a towering rectangular apparatus of glass and metal. The machine's door-swinging mouth spits out metal cans that spew toxic gases, tacky car, and one-time use plastics that ensnared chipmunks and bluebirds. It's Trubbish. What is, what, what, what assistance does Trubbish lend to a Pocopia land? He could recycle your was waste and make things for you. Okay, I was wondering, because I know that they all do something.

Yeah. You look lost, little consumers. Perhaps you need a break and a beverage to slight your thirst. It cracks open one of its cans, holds it. high and showers the forest in you in a slurry of sludge. It is gross. Yeah, it's pretty gross. Everyone make a Constitution saving throw.

Oh, God, what did I roll? 10. I rolled a Nat 20. Ooh. 9. 16. That has a 26. All right, so it's a 10, 26, 16, and 9.

I'm going to use my inspiration day. All right. Heck it. Yeah. He's that confident. It'll be worth it. 16. Oh, you got a good modifier on that.

All right. Okay, the only one who fails is Natty. As this slurry lands all around you, it just makes you all feel really sick like you're rotting from the inside. All right, so based on that, the saving throw was 18, so everyone except for Gunther fails. So the three of you who failed, please take 13 points of damage and you have the poisoned condition. Whoa. Tells got a virus. And what type of sodas are in this machine?

Is it like retired drinks, like Shasta and Surge? Never trust a big butt in a smile. Fruitopia. What? Crystal Pepsi. Shasta. It's poison by Bill Miff de Vogue. Okay.

Never trust a big button to smile. That girl is poison. Yeah, see? One of my favorites. Barbara, take an inspiration die. I already have one. You asked about the can. Was it you told?

Yeah. Blaine who had, I always thought it was Shasta. Shasta, that kind of blew mine a little bit. Yeah, you take a look at the can, and it does not say Shasta. Instead, it reads yes and. Oh. Is this an improv fight? Orbits.

Gunther, I'd real fast want to circle back on something. Since you made the save, you take half damage, so you take six points of poison damage. Everyone, go ahead and roll initiative. Okay. Okay. 22. 19. 10.

Five. All right. There you go, Gus. It was in order. The inspiration dies all around. It's pretty good. And I got a 14, so no, it was not in order. Perfectly.

All right. This huge being is towering menacingly over you and your friends told. What do you think you want to do here? Let's talk. Hey? About it. You know, you're a machine. I rip off my Bjorn mask.

Me, I'm a machine. We got a lot in common, right? We don't have to fight. What's the deal, you, huh? Yeah, why rage with the machine? Yeah, oh, that's good. That's good. Nice.

Dang it. Dang it, that's really good. I should have raged instead. Shoot. But you're not trying to go against the machine here. Yeah, rage against the machine. You're right. I'm trying to rage with the machine.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's wrap. You pull out, yeah, you pull out a chair from nowhere, set it backwards and sit on it, put your arms on the top. All right. So you're trying to de-escalate the situation here. Yeah. So one of my brothers and sisters are in there Uh, big old angry machine, big grumper machine

Why don't you, I guess, make me a, let's call it a persuasion check? Yeah, persuasion. Right. Nine. Okay, you tried to de-escalate and chat with the large metallic creature in front of you, but it seems to just tower there,

unmoving and unmoved by your words. It replies, You need to open your minds to the possibilities of pollution. my little spenders. Are we fighting capitalism? Like what's... Yeah.

It's like a cap and planet villain or something? Consume. How about I... Okay, that's fine. How about I open your mind with my axe? Hammer! I don't know.

I'm gonna hit it with my hammer. It's got to get the glass face. I'm gonna try to shadow that glass. Yeah, go for it. Okay. Uh, I mean, it is one-handed. Well, let's see if I actually... make the hit or not.

13. No, that is not hit. Okay. Dang. That's all right. I'm swinging a miss. I'm going to swing it back around because I have two actions. So we're going to do that again.

And that's a... Oh, how about this, Gus? A 13. That hits. Just kidding. It does not. That is a miss. That should be it, though, because I feel like you weaken someone's defenses.

When you're trying to, like, open a pickle jar and you, like, you can't do it. And you hand it someone else and they open it. You're like, I loosened it for you. That should be with like hitting something. But he just hit air. He didn't weaken it in any way. What I was going to say is that his hammer comes through and smashes right into the middle of the glass face of the machine. However, it turns out that it's plexiglass.

So your hammer just bounces off ineffective. Curses. Yeah, the whole thing vibrates. And in your hands, the hammer vibrates a little bit and shakes. All right, well, that's my turn. That's embarrassing for you. I guess, uh, I, could I rage? Let's rage.

It's a bonus action. You sounded like the little dude that pops out at Crash Bandicoot. The little, uh, hoo-d-b-da-ba-ha. You might want to wait until your next turn because it would have to hit you, I think, for you to keep your rage. Okay. Yeah, that's a good point. You really did that in the wrong order, Blaine. The Council of Barbarians has been heard.

I wait until. When you want to take your turn, usually you reach first because then if you hit, you know, you'll get a little bit of an extra damage. So benefits there. Gum gum, anything to say? That's true. That's true. Yeah, you want to do it that way unless you want to cast a spell. Do you cast spells?

I don't know if you have spells. I know I didn't have very many spells. It's very hard. Do you guys want to like tag in, you know? I love tag. Let's play tag. Okay. All right.

Gus, I'm going to tag in Gum gum gum, for told. No, no, no. All right. You two get out of here. This is in your place. We're just in your imagination. Oh. Erin Jane.

You have the Council of Barbarians. I have the Council of D.Ms on my side here. And I have a point of order from Dungeon Master Ben Ernst. So rage ends early if you're knocked unconscious or if your turn ends and you haven't attacked a hostile creature since your last turn or taken damage since then. You can also end your rage on your turn as a bonus action. So I was of the same opinion as Barbara that once you rage you need to attack. But the way that that's written, you attacked this turn so your rage would stand is my interpretation of the rule as written in the book. You don't have to do it first and then whatever happens after that?

Right. Just the way it's- Benefits for you to do it first because you get the bonus that damage. Okay, got it. Right, yeah. So it is beneficial to do it first. But if you rage at the end of your turn and you attacked in that turn, the rage still would persist. So if you want a rage, you can, Toll, and it would continue.

It would not drop. Elga, come, come, you lied to me. Yeah, I rage. You still made the wrong decision. We are not legally responsible for any decisions. All right, they're raged. They've been swallowed back into the vortex. Then we'll never see them again.

What? No. All right, that's it for Tov, which means next up, we've got Gunther. All right, so this guy is. shooting trash at us? Is there a bunch of trash on the ground right now? Yeah, it's like cans, empty cans that have been spewing everywhere.

All right. Can I pick some up and try and shove them into his like holes? Yeah, absolutely. I hate them. Sorry, wrong voice. Yeah, that was the wrong voice. I told you to leave. You're not dirty this nice place.

All right, yeah, so you gather up a couple and I guess just try to make like an unarmed strike. Yeah, okay. Yes, so it's a D20 plus your proficiency plus dexterity? Yeah, right, here we go. Unarmed strike, yeah. I'll tell you what, make me an intelligence saving throw. Oh, okay.

Intelligence saving throw. Not my strong suit. Not bad. All right, that's a 13. Okay. You gather up all the cans and begin walking over to the creature to try to stuff them into the various resorts. What would you call it?

Anyway, the various holes as you put it on the machine. And as you take your first step in that direction, you forget what you were doing. What was I doing? Oh, I was drinking the soda. Oh, that's what you start doing. You start drinking the soda. Yeah. Oh, yes. Yeah, it's delicious. Yeah. You just in a moment of confusion, you forget what you were doing and look at the cans in your hand and begin drinking it.

You take a drink and then you immediately spit it out because it tastes gross. It's like... It's surge. Oh! Just kidding. I like surge. But Serge was amazing. All right.

I knew that was going to make Blaine mad. That's why I picked it. Oh, it's dying. There you go. Gross. Yeah, so, yeah, you got distracted there. Do not drink the soda. It is poisoned.

Is that my turn? Yeah, that was your action. You can move, I guess, or if you have any, well, I guess you picked up cans. Yeah, if you want to move, you can move around. All right, what about this? What about this? What about that?

That's a bonus action. You can expend one superior. already die and make a range attack with a weapon that has the throne property. I'll just say my turn. Yeah, and I think we said like your bonus action would have been gathering up the cans and whatnot. Yeah, it's fine. Oh, it's that creature's turn. Yay, I get to play.

Okay, it sees Tov in front of it, Gunther taking a sip out of the can and consuming. Natty and Doug have not gone yet. Okay. It opens up its vending machine door like the where you grab your goodies out. of and tries to balk tov on the top of the head with it. It's not being nice to other machines. It's machine on machine violence. Yes.

Yeah. Rage against the machine. It bonks a 23. Oh my God. Yes. That hits. All right. I just need to unequip my shield because at this point, it's just going to happen, you know?

What are we doing here? How much does it add to your AC? The shield? One? Two? One. It's plus two. Yeah. Just get rid of the shield.

Right. That's true you are. But my shoe tells me when there's my brothers and sisters around. You could just give it to Captain Grumbles. He's got one already. He could use two. Grumbles, thoughts. I mean, he could just carry the shields for us, you know.

All right, so it balks you for 26 points of damage. Okay. Well, ah, oh, ha. 13, because I'm raging. Oh, there you go. Look, it worked. Do you hear that? Scum, gum, gum.

Yeah. Do you hear that? Silence on the other end. Yeah, they're gone. They're taking lunch, okay, I understand. Then after it bonks you, uh, toll, you hear that loud boobing voice once again. Give me your coin, and I'll give you contamination. Is that like a...

That seems like a pretty bad rage. Is that a, yeah, is that a new soda? Contamination? Is it going for that extreme, hardcore, you know, like... Prepare for total contamination. Yeah. Tony, shit, Tony. He's got like Torrine in it.

It's Torrine and like aspartine. It's just terrible. Oh, Red Die 40. Oh. Yeah. Hey, y'all. I wanted to tell you about another great podcast you thought you all would love.

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It seems like this thing is the antithesis of that because it's polluting and it's spewing out garbage and it's trapping animals. Would I... Is it trapping animals? It's trying to ensnare chipmunks and bluebirds. Oh, with its trash. Oh, my. So, am I on any sort of right track in thinking that this might be related or is it just

happenstance? Make me a, what don't we call it? Just make me an intelligence check, Doug. Well, that's an A-teen. You, you know, Doug stands there and, you know, ponderes this hypothesis and runs through some inquiries in his mind. And he comes to the conclusion that it is probably not connected, that this probably has a more direct connection

to each of your individual answers to the question you were posed when you first came into the room. Okay. Well, for the sake of being curious, could Doug maybe try to circle this thing and see what it looks like from like all angles just to kind of see what this thing is and maybe if he could detect,

if it's like, I don't know, an illusion. Got a cord? Yeah, a cord. Power cord, off button. Why don't you make me a, I'm sorry, an investigation check, but I want you to have it with advantage because you're being curious. Okay. Quick Tov, where's your off button?

Maybe it has the same one. Oh, it's right. Oh, you tried to get. Almost got you that time. Oh, you're going to kill me someday. 22 for investigation. You know, you look around and there is no power. record. However, you do see

that the cans, as 12 already discovered, all have yes and written on them. And you see that at the top of the vending machine, there's a label on it as well. Could I read it? Yeah, the label on the vending machine reads improv. M-apostrophe, P-R-O-V.

Improv? Improv. Improv? Tilt my hat. Okay. So, could I get a can somehow? Yeah, absolutely. They're everywhere. I mean, they're just all on the ground. Okay, let me pick up a can.

Okay, you hold one. It's a, yeah, it's nice. What does it say? It says yes and. I'm super parched right now. Let me just take a delicious sip of this yes and. Careful. Diet! Oh, that's a great sound of it. All right, so you begin trying to drink the yes and, and as soon as it hits your tongue, it just feels, you know, like the,

The most foul sludge that is flavored with artificial sweetener. Why would they put that in there? It doesn't make any sense. Listen, not everybody hates diet beverages in this group right now, okay? So I don't need all this besmirging of my preferred drink. It is disgusting. Yuck, what's wrong with you? Wow.

Me on my way to my office job, I happen to pick up a can of this and boy, is it delicious. That's me. That's Doug doing improv, by the way. Quick, Doug, act like you're going up your office elevator. Here is, here I go. 28th floor. Make me a performance check, Doug. Yay.

Natty's applauding to help. How about a zero on that? Oh, no. It's zero to critical failure. I'm going to use my inspiration there. That's a good use of an inspo. Not much better, nine? Yeah, you do that.

And out from the ground, an elevator appears. And with a ding, the doors open. Guys, I figured it out. Oh, wow. Elevators here, but you know, it'd be really cool to all of a sudden find a giant axe that could destroy a building in one swing right here.

Then with a ding, the elevator doors close. And then it continues rising and disappears into the distance. Well, I guess I could just do one at a time. I don't know how far I could keep. going on this since I probably have taken an action at this point. Let's see you drank, you move. It's a lot, but if you want to take an action, you probably could,

because you didn't really attack or do anything. Could I take another drink? Yeah. I have a theory. All right. Yeah. Do you like hold it or you mean you like when you say you take a drink or drink it? Like a drink it.

Okay. Drink another soda. Yeah. You somehow stomach it, that disgusting diet beverage. And, yeah. Okay. And now could I say, Oh wow, what is this giant power cable doing over here attached to this giant building that powers it from moving?

Vending machine, vending machine. Why don't you make me... I don't know why you think it's a building. I'm just imagining it being really big and so like a skyscraper style. It's pretty big. Why don't you make me a constitution saving throw? 22. Okay.

You take the drink and you know, you try to get these words out, but just the disgustingness of the drink overcomes you. take some poison damage. With a 22? Yeah, you're able to contain it, but you still do take a little bit of poison damage. You take six points. Gosh, dang it. Okay. Yeah, it's just disgusting.

You can't bear it. Okay. And then nothing happens. And you're a bug bearer. Yeah, and then nothing happens. Oh, nice. It's true. I can't bug bear it.

Yeah, but nothing seems to happen, Barbara slash Doug. Okay. I had a theory that, you know, drinking these cans and we improv something, it comes to fruition, but maybe not. Yeah, I was going to ask if it can make me like spells or like healing potions instead of yes and soda. Yes and soda available. It's short.com.

All right. Is that it for you, Doug? You did a couple things there. Natty. Okay. Natty turns to Gigi and starts like, ah? And starts pantomimiming. like throwing a ball between her and Gigi.

Okay. Like passing the ball back and forth, like playing catch. Like a round ball that could fit in both hands. And then as Gigi throws the ball back to Natty, Natty then throws the ball to the vending machine. Zipsats up. Okay. And what's the vending machine do?

It seemingly tries to pantomime catching the ball as well. Yeah. And then Nattie goes, Oh no, it wasn't a ball, it was a bomb! Yeah! With that, you know, the top of the vending machine looks down into its own arms and a bomb explodes, and it has like that cartoon effect where the top of the vending machine's all black and blown backwards now. Yeah, with a loud, like, cartoonish puff of smoke and flash of light.

Uh, and it takes a little bit of damage. Okay. Okay, okay. See, see, see, see. Go, Doug. I guess you didn't have to drink the sorrows. but you know. Yeah, yeah, yeah, sure.

You know, we're learning. I would not recommend. Yeah. Good thing in there, Nadi. Anything else you want to do? And then Nattie just goes and starts, like, browsing the night market stands, just because they're there,

and she's misses shopping. Okay. So she's just kind of seeing who's got some good chotchkes to maybe get something, you know. She misses home. Yeah. It's kind of like home, but kind of not at the same time. It's weird.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But she's, I mean, shopping, shopping. You did mention it was covered in sewage. I will say that much. Maybe you get a discount. Yeah, listen, Natty's, you know, she's done some thrift store, you know, diving, and you have to get through some garbage where you find your gold, okay? You're right.

That is. Words to live by, Natty. Yeah. And so she starts, she finds a, she finds like a nice new, like, blouse and holds it up to cat and grumbles and sees if it's cat and grumble size. Because he's, he hasn't had anything new to wear. since his death and life. Oh, great.

I presume that is it for Nadi, which would take us back to the top to Tov. Okay, improv, improv. What can you, what he got? What do you got? What do you want to do, Tov, is you want to overthink it? Zip, zap, soop. No.

He's zips, zips, zaps, zab. Let your mind be free. Oh, okay, okay, okay. I go, point in myself and I go, zip. I act like I'm like being electrocuted. And then I look at Gunther and I'm like, play along. And I say, zap.

Oh, he's electrocuted. And then I like Kameha Meha point at the vending machine and say, as you do that, it looks down and realizes it's standing in a puddle of sewage. And it holds up a little sign that says yikes. Yeah, huge bolts of electricity surround. around it, all going up and down throughout the entire the other machine. And then it's left smoldering.

It's a little bit of smoke coming off the top. Perfect. And how much damage did Gunther take from that attack? Yeah. Gunther, did you, how much did you commit to this? I committed 100%. Gunther takes no damage because he's playing. That might be my turn.

I mean, I have two attacks, but I don't know if, like, these are attacks or just kind of turns, you know what I mean? Yeah. This is not really. I think the spirit of the two attacks is like a weapon attack. Sure. Got it. Yeah.

I'm good. All right. That was good. Tulf. Gunther, what do you have for us? Oh, yes. I here am in charge of the vending machine. Oh, look, it's not working.

Out of order. And put a sign. I, like, put a sign on it. It's like an imaginary sign that says, out of order, not functioning. Spelled completely wrong. Yeah. Indracom.

Out of hors d'oeuvres. Out of order. All right, let's see if you can make a... Well, no, let's just end this. You go out and put the sign on the machine, and, yeah, I guess the light inside of the machine turns off, and it seems to, like, settle down and power down. Oh, you sleepy.

Okay, and I guess is that it? I'll do that. That is it. Okay. Metagame-wise, just so you're including, you don't feel like it's pointless. I'm going to let that do damage to it, but it's going to continue. Necrodite damage. Yeah, like, when I start doing something in a second, I don't want you to think like, oh, well, my thing did nothing.

Okay, yeah, it settles down and seems to be in a power-off state, and then, you know, after about six seconds of that, it, like, stands back up and, you know, shakes and the sign goes flying off. Oh, I fixed it. As it does that, you know, it powers up, and it seems to, like it may be almost, you know, you say you fixed it, but it's almost like malfunctioning a bit. And it begins shuddering. And when it starts shuddering, a mixture of both cans and coins begin flying out of it.

Collect the coins. It's pooping. It's vomiting. That too. All right. Yeah, as the cans begin flying around everywhere, everyone make another Constitution saving throw. Okay. 24 23 12 12 which is like

a Nat 20 because it's my name so you know It should be I feel like we should add that rule into this campaign I'm pretty sure that's a rule now

Yes and zip zips op boom boom 9 Okay so So once I should say Natty and Toll have the poison condition

I'm not sure if you all had it I already had it What should that have done on my turn You have double poison disadvantage on attack rolls and ability checks. Yeah. Thank you, Barbara.

That's it. Yeah. Yeah. But you didn't really do an attack or an ability, so it's fine. But yeah, Natty and Tov are poisoned and take 13 points of poison damage. And Doug and Gunther, you made the safe, so you're not poisoned, but you do take six points of poison damage. Gosh. It's just eating away at my house.

Yeah. So the machine powers back up, you know, spews all these coins and cans out. And I'm gonna roll a D4 to see who it does this too. Barbara 1, John, 2, Chris 3, 12, 4. 3. Chris, or Gunther. Yeah, you put the out of order sign on it, so this makes sense. Above you, an an anvil appears and falls out of the sky. Right where you are standing.

Where's the coyote? Make me a dexterity saving throw. Okay, that's the receiving throw here I go. 12. Almost had it. Yeah, the anvil falls and hits you directly on the head. Oh, oh geez. Do we call it 13 points of psychic damage?

And after it bounces off of your head, the anvil grows forward legs, a tail, and a pair of horns. Oh, what? It bellows a snort and paws its leg like a raging bull. Oh, let's fight. It charges straight for you. I'm green. Not red, I'm green! Let's see if it hits.

Oh, that hits. I'm pretty sure that's going to be a miss. That hits, what, AC-13. That misses. Yeah, very quickly, like, it surprises you, but you managed to dodge out of the way and it does not hit. I conjure a red cape, bait the anvil,

then leap out of the way at the last second. Doug, you are up. Gosh, um, okay. You know what? See people do this before. I'm going to try to like this guy on fire. Because I hear that could work. I'm curious.

Which guy? Which guy? The vending machine. Oh, the vending machine. Yeah. I'm curious to see what fire does to this vending machine. Okay. So curious.

That's what you have to do. Yeah. That is one of the rules. How are you to do that? Just use my firebolt. Okay. And that's a 25 to hit? I'm pretty sure that hits.

Yeah, that hits. And that will do... 11 points of fire damage. Ooh, that's pretty good. Yeah, the machine begins smoldering and burning, and little bits start melting, and little pieces of plastic start falling off. Okay, that's pretty good.

Now fire resistant, excellent. That's my turn. Okay, yeah. Keep it as simple. That's good, yeah. You know what? Simple does just as much damage. Do you have two attacks?

I do have two attacks. I always forget that. Thank you, Micah. Wow, you know that was really good. I'm gonna do it again. This time, 20 to hit. Oh, yeah, that hits. Cool. And that will do 10 points of fire damage. Ooh. Yeah, even more melting and destruction on improv. Moprov. Moprov.

Yeah, it's, you know, seen better days for sure. How do you feel now? Big guy. I forgot that it can talk. Consumption is eternal. Okay. That's weird.

It's not actually talking, it's just the little ticker LED screen on its above the coin slot. Pepsi half off. Like a spell and speak. Yeah. Spel and Slan fan. You know, Darno.

That was good. That was really good. Tov, you're really good at doing like a robotic voice. Areggato. Where did you learn that skill? You know. Around.

All right. That's it for Doug, which means it is Natty. How far... Was there any distance between the anvil and the vending machine? It's all really close to each other because Gunther had gone up and put the sign. Okay. And the anvil would have fallen on it. So they're all like within five feet of each other.

Okay. Natty, I'm worried about taking a step forward. Because Gunther had a weird reaction. when he moved forward, but Tov didn't when he moved forward to attack with the hammer. Remembering that all correctly? Well, I moved forward to pick up the trash and then had to make an intellect saving throw

before I could throw it or something. It was kind of weird. It's almost like, yeah, his mind got muddled. Okay. But that dealt with the trash. I don't know if the trash had something to do with it. Okay. Then, hmm, I need to do something to do something.

Brilliant. Yeah. Because Gunther, and Tov are also up against the anvil and the vending machine, right, in like melee range? Correct, but the anvil has, yeah, yeah, the anvil has only attacked Gunther, but that's only because it's gone once. Okay, Natty's, Natty's got a, not a, got a plan. Natty, mim's putting on, like, a big helmet on Natty's head. And she kind of mimes putting on, like, her coveralls and puts them up, and she starts pantomime walking to her made-up job.

And then she gets in this piece of machinery and starts pulling levers. And she starts moving her fake giant garbage. What do you call the place for all the garbage goes? The dump. Like those magnetic cranes. Yeah. And starts moving it over to where the, uh, sorry, Tov moves it over to where the machines are. And turns it on at full blast to suck them up into the sky to her giant magnet.

Take that, Gus. What happens, Gus? Well, no, it's like, the first question is Toll's magnetic? I think so, and to add to the Looney Tunes nature of it, I feel like he would be ripped out with such force. He would leave his Bjorn skin on the ground and in the form of standing Toll, and then he would go, and then fall to the ground.

This is all very Looney Tunes, Acme. I love it. Yeah, I love it. All right, so, yeah, Toll of the Anvil and Emble. improv are all rip up from the ground into the magnet. And then Natty pushes another button that changes the polarity of the magnet so that Thamatech is not grabbed anymore. Oh.

And then proceeds to swing the crane around with the anvil and the vending machine attached. And while all this stuff is happening that dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun. That's such a great tune. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. So, first of all, we'll do a dexterity safer toll just to make sure he hits the ground safely. Perfect.

I have advantage on decks saving throws. So that's a 15 and a 6.15. Yeah, you're able to break the fall. You roll into it, like a well-practiced parkour expert, and you don't take any damage from the fall. Cool. However, you look up and you see that the anvil and improv are, spinning around faster and faster.

Natty then at like high velocity pushes the button to turn off the magnet. Yeah, then the magnet is demagnetized and improv and the animal go flying into the distance. And Natty fake punches out for the day, takes her helmet off. Punch card.

This episode is brought to you by FedEx. These days, the power move isn't having a big metallic credit card to drop on the check at a corporate launch. The real power move is leveling up your business with FedEx intelligence and accessing one of the biggest data networks powered by one of the biggest delivery networks. Level up your business with FedEx, the new power move. Welcome to the table players. This session, we find ourselves in the recording studio for Tabletop Tunes,

the improvised musical RPG. Can Greg do an investigation check to learn more about this podcast? Yeah, for sure. That's an 18. Oh, okay, with an 18, you know this is a brand new podcast hosted by Gabe, Sean, Greg, and Mary Lou. Each week we invite a guest to join us on an epic episodic journey where the players are just as likely to roll initiative as they are to break into song. That's right. Tabletop Tunes is both an actual play RPG podcast and a musical improv podcast.

It's two for one. And we've had incredible guests. Like Roshan Scott. I'm either going to hit this note or I'm going to piss myself. Chris Grace. I'd like to roll for Jay Leno's TV ratings for the competing episode. Yes, please. Giovanni.

I hate the improv. I hate how many times I have to hear a chorus. Zach Reno. No, I'm 100% sure that this mouse is not a follower of Christ. Come on over to Table Top Tunes, available wherever you get your podcast. And we'll see you at the table. Every now and then. someone would die.

Risk. True stories, no holding back. They catch my mom poisoning my sister. People say risk makes them feel less alone and more alive.

During my time in prison, I discovered a podcast called Risk. That podcast saved my life so many times. Risk. The show where people tell true stories, they never thought they dare to share

wherever you get your podcasts. Yeah, they go flying into the distance and suddenly another elevator rises from the ground with a ding what out steps improv with stars circling above where its head would be it grabs the stars and tries to balk you with them well natty didn't take her helmet off yet so my role for bonk is 23 that's yeah that hits yeah yeah i saw you roll a 13 i knew you had a modifier yeah i was like you've got this you got this my dude yeah so uh you get bonked for 26 points of bludgeoning damage.

Yikes. Oof. Exactly. That's the spirit. That's quite the bonk. Natty is low. That's bonkers. Hey.

Natty has taken a lot of poison damage. But that was Natty's turn. So, Tov. All right. Bear with me here. This is a lengthy one, but I think it's going to be fun. Is there a ceiling or are we in an outdoor space?

It's like an outdoor space. A liminal dark space. Is there, are there any root? things, you know, you mentioned before that they have, like, vending areas and stuff like that? Do any of them have, like, awnings of any sort? Yeah, there's little awnings and, you know,

little, like, cloth roofs on these stalls. Okay. And there are trees as well. So I try to get the attention of improv and the anvil, and I pull out... But the anvil's gone. The anvil did fly away. Oh, oh.

So now it's just improv front of you. So I get the attention of improv, and then I... How? I tap them, ding, ding, ding, ding. Okay. And then I pull out a piece of black chalk. And then I go under one of the awnings of the stalls. And I draw a big black circle on the ground.

And then I draw a big black circle on the awning. And then I put the marker away. I walk over to the circle and I start jumping on it. And nothing happens. And then I scratch my head. And then I welcome improv to come take a look at this. Jesus. Uh-huh. Yeah. Do they come over?

Improv wanders over and like leans down and looks. Okay. And then I push them into, it is now a hole, the one on the ground. He's speaking with portals. So then they're just going, shoot, shoo, shoo, shoo, shoo, shoo, shoo, shoo, shoo, like between the two circles, they're flying. Yeah, of course. And then in classic Looney Tunes nature, I pull one of the holes and put it on a wall of the stall, forcing them to just shoot out with all that velocity that they've gotten.

Sure. Oh, no, Tull, if you place that other hole in a direction that's facing towards Gunther. Yeah, improv goes through, accelerating through the holes, and then shoots out and hits a nearby tree. Oh. And, yeah, sparks seem to fly everywhere.

And, yeah, very Georgia the jungle coded. Yeah, it is. Their two, their limbs are, like, stretched across the tree. Yeah. Like, they're ugly. Right, like, just the body is blocked by the tree. arms and legs on either side of it. Now like every visual gag

from a Looney Tunes cartoon is hitting me and I'm just like, okay, next turn, next turn. I went over there. Yeah, the improv seems rather beaten and not moving so well at this point. Gunther. Yes. Right this way, children,

the snacks are over here. Come along all of the old children and then... Yeah, don't make them drink that soda. It's a bunch of little giggies, though. Ah. Yeah, and then like gestures and there's like snack machine. Go get all the snacks and be rough.

And be rough. Yeah, you do that and seemingly out of nowhere, a, like a field trip, like a class of a couple of kindergartners appear and begin running and mobbing improv, all banging on it trying to get snacks and drinks. Oh, look, giant baby. Oh, giant baby. Yeah, and they begin... I love the scene from weapons.

Yeah, that's exactly what I was thinking. They begin beating at it, and after several seconds of that, improv disappears. And once improv disappears, the children disappear too. And all the surroundings, the stalls, and the marketplace you were in, disappears as well. The ground turns into a glossy, reflective floor, almost like glass. Yellow mist softens into small puffs of clouds slowly circling you. Cloudy skies directly above,

Sunder, revealing constellations of shifting stars. Doug, in the glass floor, you recognize a reflection. Not of yourself, but a familiar face that is half-metal mask and half-obscured with a void of stars. His body made of clouds. The veiled eye looks up at you. I know your face, but I'm sorry I don't recall your name. My memory comes and goes.

The further I am from familiarity, the more difficult it becomes. Why are you here again? Are you one of my patrons here to present one of your creations? The further he is from his... From familiarity. Familiarity. That further he is from, like, or the worse his memory gets. The more difficult it becomes.

Familiarity. Well, he was probably moved for his safety. Or if he... Okay. Or because they put them in the opposite places where they're supposed to be. Well, maybe. Yes, De Valdai. I am one of your patrons, but where are you right now,

Do you know? It's not familiar to me. It's someplace new. Can you describe it at all? It's difficult to ascertain, but perhaps paying some homage can further clarify my vision. Okay. Well, I did create something, but it's not with me anymore. Because didn't I give it to...

You just presented it, but then you got it back. Okay. It's just like you showed it. It was then, yeah, you took it back. My misunderstanding? It, uh, yeah, it, it, you, you, you think that it disappeared or you think you'd given it up. But then, you know, as you're, as you're talking about it and thinking about it, uh, it's just, it's just in your hand. Okay, yes. Um, I have created something. It's one of my newest inventions that I'm really proud of.

I'm, I'm, I'm holding it now. I don't know if you could sense it, but it's here with me. Oh, why don't you tell me what it does? Oh, you got it. Let me remember exact phrase. I think it makes Julian fries. Yeah, so it's called the echo pulse locator. It emits a soft sound and pulses, kind of like a bat echolocation to detect hidden animals without causing them to panic or anything. And it also draws them into the device's location.

So it's done in a really safe and gentle manner. Oh, that's amazing. That's wonderful. What a fantastic invention. and you came up with this all on your own? I did, yeah. I come up with all my inventions on my own, actually. I typically work alone.

You know, these guys here with me are my friends and they're my, you know, party members, but all the inventions are just dug. Yeah, we like to party. Yeah. Also, I'm a robot, but I'm not his invention, but, like, I don't know, you might like this and just show them, like, the robot.

I just do the robot dance. I don't know if you could hear or see my fellow party members right now, but whatever they're saying, we just went through like a pretty crazy battle, so they might be a little bit tired and, you know, just not thinking straight. So this is, you know, no reflection on Doug. Gunther dances too. I sense perhaps you have many ideas. Are there any others you're working on as well, Doug?

Well, Doug is always thinking of ideas, but, you know, sometimes it's have a need or someone I care about has a need, and I fix things up for them, or I create something for them. You know, like I fixed up Tov's axe the other day, and he's been using that bad boy pretty well. Yeah, as you say that, a cloud appears of that axe. That axe, yeah. Then as you're looking at it, you know, it's the axe, it's Tov's axe that you repaired, and it begins morphing.

You know how clouds like shift and move, and they're never quite the same. Like little bits of it fly away from, the main part, other parts come in and add on to the cloud body itself. And it begins to look like a different axe, almost like some kind of mechanized hand axe. Oh, I know that one. I think that's the axe I created from my brother. I see so many inventions, many, many things created by your hand. Well, that one, that one, I have a, I'm not really proud of that one.

Well, the important thing is that every invention leads to innovation. That's a really wise thing to say. To no surprise, of course. Not the veiled eye, you know a lot, a whole lot. The body of clouds that kind of make up the veiled eye begins swirling and reveal a void of stars. They form into a constellation before your eyes, but not shapes. Instead, it forms words. Am I able to read it?

Isn't in the language that I understand? Yeah. Actually, Natie can read right now. It says the stars at night, big and bright. Right. Deep in the heart of Texas. That was one of my favorite scenes in that Peewee's Big Adventure. You know, oh, really quick, they have...

All of our international fans have no idea what we're talking about, by the way. Peewee's bike is on display at the Alamo. Really? Yeah. Did they make a basement for it? They have a little area. I should not know that. Yeah, Doug, you absolutely can read the...

the words that the constellation makes. And is everyone else seeing this too, or is it just Doug? Just you see it, Doug. Just me, okay. Yeah. Natty's changing Gigi's diaper. And that takes her whole focus. Yeah, everyone else sees the room, you know, the change in the floor,

the, you know, everything else disappearing, but only you see the veiled eye. Okay. And only you see the words that the constellation forms. Winter, spring, summer, fall. My budding bud likes them all Three hands up, three hands down Wares royal robes without a crown

Sometimes bearded, Bates in light, Armed with swords that never fight Shares a name with what you see Like colory fingerprints Less than three And it's a chat if you want to see Yes, I was literally furiously writing it down

And then I saw that Micah put it in the chat Is budding butt? What? My budding. Budding buds. It's budding butts? Bud. It's in the chat.

Buding bud? Is there like a kind of a reality check? No. No. No. You can maybe confer with your party. Maybe share. Maybe they have some kind of insight.

Okay. Hey, guys. Natty, you could just listen. You could keep focusing on what you're doing over there. I'm getting a vision from the veil. eye and I could see some words in the sky. And then I think I would recite them back. I don't know if you want me to say the whole thing to them.

It's up to you. Winter, spring, summer, fall. My budding bud likes them all. Three hands up, three hands down. Wears royal robes without a crown. Sometimes bearded, bays in light, armed with swords that never fight. Shares a name with what you see, like colory fingerprints, less than three.

Is it a cactus? Less than three. Doesn't that make like a heart? Doug's very in touch with modern symbolism, modern runes. What do I, like, it says shares a name with what I see, but is there anything in particular

that I'm seeing that stands out other than, of course, the words in the sky? Yeah, I mean, there's that room, it's a shimmering, excuse me, the glossy reflective floor. There's yellow mists that soften into puffs of clouds circling around you, cloudy skies.

It seems like it's, I think you're on the right track that it's something with, like, a plant with thorns is what he's talking about. Thorns, yes, something with thorns. Sometimes bearded, uh, bearded, non-bearded dragon. Catfish. Do you say catfish? Don't they have, like, you've got like a risker? If it lacks all the, all the seasons and it must be something that's like,

an evergreen kind of thing. Yeah, budding bud. Three hands up, three hands down. It's not a clock. Well, if you looked at like a tree, it looks like, I don't know, this might be stretching, but it looks like if you put like three hands up,

it's like all the branches and leaves, and then three hands down is all the roots and stuff. Like a pine tree. Just thing that or a spider. Swords that never fight. Okay, we give up. Vildai, what is it? Uh, you don't see the veiled eye, but...

I know, that's why I'm just speaking out to this void. Is it maybe referring to an eye? Is it the wilderflower? Is it referring to an eye, like an actual eyeball? Or an, like an iris? Shooting stars arc from the veiled eye's body, and each of them settled into your respective hands. The starlight slowly dims, revealing magical relics.

What? Doug, in your hand, you see a wrinkled blueprint with schematics for a new, device called the Guiding Providence Sensor. The Guiding Providence Sensor, it's a blue brick-shaped device with antenna and dials. It contains windows with an animated map, and it allows you to receive divine guidance to your destiny. Like a dowsing machine? Dowsing rod some kind?

Yeah, dowsing. I'll just, so it was an iris. And you did say that. I figured it out. I can figure it out. You did, and you did. Gunther, like, is it like seemingly, it kind of shocks you that this shooting star seems to come out of nowhere and lands in your hand. Ah!

And in it, you, in your hand, you find a croak-folk crafted wrapping, known as the Ribbet Ribbon. Oh, the Rivet Ribbon. What's that do, Gunther? I don't, do I know what this does? He puts it in his luscious hair, of course. Yes, this. He puts on his dug fur wig. You can wrap it around the hilt of your sword to augment it and give you additional abilities.

Oh, this is good stuff. I like this. That's cool. And you can wrap it around the hilt of a sword to lash out of your enemies or keep your tongue tied. What? As a bonus action, you can squeeze the hilt twice and you gain additional reach on it. Oh. But you don't have to get as close to your enemies to attack.

them. Alternatively, you can tap the hilt on any hard surface and the blade collapses into the hilt and then you can tap it again to extend it. Like a lightsaber. Yeah, that's cool. We're a switchblade. It's very cool. Yeah, we're switchblade. Toll. Yes. Tov, the shooting star lands in your hand and you see a shimmering Thomotech crystal. Ooh. It's known as the Thomotech Compact Disc Overclock protocol software. Say that five times fast. Compact disk. TCD.

Okay. What was it again? The Thamatech compact disc overclock protocol software. Overclock protocol software. TCD OPS. T-C. You can ingest the data.

You can stick it in your mouth and you can perform a software update. Oh. Ooh, is this Big Sur? What is it? It's one of the Apple names. It's a snow leopard. Oh, I love this one.

It's a, yeah, it's a thin circular disc of glass, and there's an inscription on one side that reads DPS Amplification Final Version 2.1, and it shimmers with rainbow colors on the other side. Are these gifts from you, Vailoi? Yes. Wow, I didn't get you anything. You presented your invention.

That's very true. Toll, this basically, it's an overclock protocol, and it increases your damage output to 1D20. Good Lord. Whoa. So attacks just now have an additional D20. Oh, it has three charges, I see. That's a lot.

Oh, do you see it? Yeah, I just added it to my thing. Oh, you got it? Okay, yeah, yours is in there. Okay, great. Insert it amounts to download software update. Tollve opens his mouth really wide, and then a disc trade comes out. It's not a coaster.

You don't put your drink there. It's just for a C-D. So yeah, there are, it is a little unstable. There may be, there may be some, some bugs that still are to be worked out. This is after all version 2.1. Of course, of course. Well, and if you're going to overclock your system, it's going to come with its own, you know, problems. Yep.

Yeah, Tolv sticks it in his mouth. It goes back in. He kind of shut downs for a minute. And then you hear like a tome, like a toad, like a startup thing. And then a bunch of like, like, like, like, like, like, a lot. electronic kind of dial-up-y downloady sounds. Love it. Natty, as you're changing Giggy's diaper,

one of the shooting stars lands in your hand. Oh, but it misses Natty's hand and lands in the diaper. No. Now you've got to retrieve it. Black, dark star. It's a coiled relic known as the chain rains of rustling. And you have to stick it in the mouth.

It's horse rains made of black chains. It feels like sand to the touch. The chains don't mean. make much noise. And you can, it allows you to summon those who seek runaways of death. Oh, I like that.

You wrestling? Yehah. Cool. Natty, I guess, I don't know, puts it around her neck. It's like a necklace. I don't know how to carry this, but I'm going to put it that way.

You'll figure it out. Yeah. And, you know, as you all look over these shooting stars and these items that have landed in your hand, you look down and you realize you can see the veiled eye as well. And the veiled eyes looking up at the four of you.

I remember. It's about time you met, the Pathfinder. Yeah, where? We've been looking. Man. I didn't even dress up. I'm still, you know, wearing the not good suit. I feel like I need to just spruce myself up a bit.

Do you have other pairs of, like, sets of skin that you put on? I'm working on it. I measure Maddie up. It's like Terminator looking for someone who's got clothes that fit him. The clothes give them to me. But to find out. what happens, you have to tune in next time to the next episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon. We're never finding this stupid God who's supposed to help us find stuff.

They're just going to be... He's not supposed to help you find stuff, just in general, helps find stuff. Yeah. They get a lot of, very highly yourself there. I am main character energy. Thank you very much. Toll's going to spray a little bit of mouth freshener in and like kind of slick back his hair. Okay, let's meet this fellow.

Let's do this. You gotta get the compact disc out of your breath. We've released a dia gem dice set at store.stor.stinky dragonpod.com Tis right, thy prayers hath been answered all ye faithful followers of Daya. The sacred Dio gems have been unearthed and can now be yours in the form of dice.

Unlock the celestial and magical mysteries of Daya with all six colorful gemstone Dijim dice and the pearlescent white diadem of Dijems D20. Fair warning, To all followers of Daya, these premium glass and stone dice have been known to make you roll like gods. In honor of our five years of magic, get your Diojim dice set at store.spinkey dragonpod.com. Don't miss the extra content on our Stinky Dragon YouTube channel. Not only do we share grand tales of our podcast, but also post action-packed gameplay videos in our side-splitting animation of puppet shorts

that shall bring a chuckle to even the grimest of adventurers. Subscribe today and never miss a thing at YouTube.com slash at Stinky Dragon Pod. New episodes of Tales from the Stinky Dragon premiere every other Wednesday, wherever your streams of podcast flow, and on the Stinky Dragon YouTube channel. Tired of waiting for the next adventure and looking for a quest, join the ranks of the Stinky Dragon patrons at Stingy Dragonpod.com to get early access to episodes

and unlock a horde of exclusive treasures and powerful artifacts. Like every one of our patrons gets access to our member-only Discord. That's like entering an adventuring Guildhall where you instantly gain thousands of allies, fierce fellowship, and incredible insights. Say goodbye to T.P.Ks. You can also receive a coveted shout out on the show, just like Soren, Jake Rim, Marinosaurus, Rex, and Nuffel.

These featured patrons directly support the show and get access to all of these perks and more on our Patreon. Stop mishing out on the adventure, become a patron today at stinky dragonpod.com. Some NPCs were named after patrons from our Stinky Dragon Discord and some of our friends provided voices in this tale, including Improv, voiced by Bill Sunderland at Escape This Podcast, from guests playing an audio escape room, including a recent episode featuring Chris and Blaine, other shows, featuring Bill and partner Danny solving original murder mysteries

is called Solved This Murder. The Veiled Eye, voiced by André Ulet, at Andre.crat. This week's hour question was submitted by Alfred underscore Unland. Enland. One of those. This episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon

was produced by Ben Ernst and Micah Risenger, written and composed by Michael Reisinger, and edited by Alina LeCorcheck. Join us in the tavern next time for another aromatic adventure of Tales from the Stinky Dragon. Just make me an intelligence Check, Doug.

Not Barbara. Barbara's not there. Doug's there. Well, that's an 18. Yeah, and Doug's a pretty smart dude. You... Unlike Barbara. No, I'm just saying like, have faith in Doug.

I'm a smart woman, not a smart dude. I just met have faith in Doug. Doug is... You're trying to make me out like I said something I didn't or I had some intention that I did not. Don't worry, Gus. I know you think I'm smart. Otherwise, you wouldn't have had me work

on RTF with you. Or maybe it's because you were dumb enough to join up to work on that hell of a project.