Tales from the Stinky Dragon - C03 - Ep. 44 - Under Oondar Fire - Croak and Dagger Boxing

Episode Date: May 27, 2026

Brutaliteam stumbles into a cross-country clash. Support us directly on Patreon https://www.patreon.com/stinkydragon - get access to ad-free episodes, bonus content like Stinky Dragon Adventures & Second Wind, our patreon-exclusive discord, and more! Check out our new merch at store.stinkydragonpod.com - Dice, Player Character Tees, Blankets, Hoodies, and more! Follow us on our socials at https://linktr.ee/TalesFromTheStinkyDragon Cast: Gus Sorola, Blaine Gibson, Barbara Dunkelman, Jon Risinger, Chris Demarais Writer/Editor/Composer: Micah Risinger Producer: Benjamin Ernst Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We've released a Diagem Dice set at store. Sticky Dragon Pod.com. She is right. Thy prayers hath been answered, all ye faithful followers of Daya, the sacred diageems have been unearthed and can now be yours in the form of dice. Unlock the celestial and magical mysteries of Daya

with all six colorful gemstone Diagem and the pearless and white diadem of Diagems D20. Fair warning to all followers of Dia, these premium glass and stone dice have been known to make you grow like gods. Hey y'all's Kelly Clarkson with Wayfair. Ever order furniture online and wonder what if? Like, what if it doesn't hold up?

That sofa was four days old. You should have ordered from Wayfair. With Wayfair, there's no what it. Just style you love and quality you can trust. Visit Wayfair.com. Wayfair, every style, every home. Welcome to the table players. This session, we find ourselves in the recording studio for tabletop tunes, the improvised musical RPG.

Can Greg do an investigation check to learn more about this podcast? Yeah, for sure. That's an 18. Oh, okay, with an 18, you know this is a brand new podcast hosted by Gabe. Sean, Greg, and Mary Lou. Each week we invite a guest to join us on an epic episodic journey where the players are just as likely to roll initiative

as they are to break into song. That's right. Tabletop Toons is both an actual play RPG podcast and a musical improv podcast. It's two for one. And we've had incredible guests like Rashon Scott. I'm either going to hit this note or I'm going to piss myself. Chris Grace. I'd like to roll for Jay Leno's TV ratings

for the competing episode. Yes, please. Giovanni. I hate the improv. I hate how many times I have to hear a chorus. Zach Reno. No, I'm 100% sure that this mouse is not a follower of Christ. Come on over to Table Top Tunes, available wherever you get your podcast.

And we'll see you at the table. Jubilations, all you jammer leashes. Glue yourselves to the stinky dragon and lap up our latest libation. Larva at first sight. It's a mixture of combustible kombucha tea, passion fruit, spore pulp, organic sugar spikes, and a hole of hot water. One drop of this discharged drink is a reminder that life changes when you leach expect it. Previous layer adventurers were mulled by a monstrous machine and materialism and muck-making known as improv.

But the brains beating best of the battle with boundless big ideas and bizarre buffoonery. Once the bells and whistles had been beaten, the victors were visited by the veiled eye and a vexing verse. After an aha moment, they answered acceptably and acquired an array of advantageous items. Bring over a brew and let's buckle up for this bedtime tale. Hello everyone. Welcome to the Tales of the Stinky Dragon. I'm your Dungeon Master Gustavo Sorolla, and I'm going to hit our four players with an arrow.

I feel like this is going to be a chaotic one. I feel like we got the chaotic energy today. It's in my bones. Coffee? Question before the question? Oh, yeah. Okay, peek behind the curtain. Micah said before you said he read that,

I didn't practice this one. Does that insinuate that you practice these things before we record, Micah? Because if so, I need recordings of those. Sometimes I do. I need recordings of those practices. Well, I can't speak to Micah specifically, but I know when I did the intros in the first two campaigns, I made sure to read them at least twice to be ready.

Really? And I still messed. I would still mess them up when it came time to record. It didn't show. It's one thing to read it in your mind, another thing to say it out loud. Yep, that's exactly it. You guys should be like us,

people who never fumble over their words, not once. Right, Blaine? Huh? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And yes, Barbara, coffee. Coffee for sure. Yes, yes. All right, what are those roles?

Oh. Oh. So you should probably roll that, huh? 10. Oh my God. What? 12. This is what's so handy about doing a real roll is that I just had to grab and roll

and I can do it faster than everybody else. Two. And you can lie about it. Click a blah. And I can lie about it, sure. Two of you guys took a number two. All right. It's 12 then Natty and Doug and Gunther need to roll off because you both had two.

Because you guys took a number. Nat 20. Two. Get out of here. All right. 12, so Doug Wins. 12 Natty Doug Gunther. This week's question, submitted by Minnie Hammy 11, is

What is your favorite word and why? What is your favorite word and why? We're gonna lead it off with 12. Mini Hammie. I'm a little peckish. I go for a mini hammy. A little mini hammy, not a full hammy. Mini Hammie.

It's Blaine Gibson. Is that a new version of the Uncrustible? That's a mini hammy. Oh, yeah. Instead of a sweet one, a savory one? Yeah. Did they make savory incrustables? I don't think so.

I've seen that. They should. Guys, groundbreaking. We're going to parent the company. No more D&D podcast. Cut the recording. Cut the recording. I think they did grilled cheese at one point.

But anyways, hello, I'm Blaine Gibson, and I play told you who. I'm a male Thamotech barbarian from the hood. Oh, what's up? The hood of my mom's car. That's how Thomotex are born. And my, oh, this is a tough one. because normally I love Pto-Nomatic. It's a great word, and I also have a puttunomatic system going through my body.

But I have to say, some mechanophobia, because, you know, it's fun, it's cool. It also is relevant to me because I was walking on the ocean floor for so long, and people would point and go, oh, no, my sub- mechanophobia. Oh, it's acting up. Are there like a fear of things like machinery underwater? So I like the word and I love it so much that I spread sub-mechanophobia throughout the lands by jump-scaring boaters and sailors. Isn't this the second time you've used that word as the answer for an arrow?

Cole? Sub-mechanophobia? I have heard this before, yes. Oh, wait, you guys did ask what is our favorite fear or what's your biggest fear. So it's weird that you didn't realize it, that you're reusing it. I thought it was a joke on your part. It's just unintentional. It was.

It substantiates how much Blaine likes this word. Yeah. It was all a clever joke. Got you. Please move on the next person. It's a fun word to say. It is. It is fun.

That's a big one. That's a word that'll get you a lot of points at Scrabble. Yeah. Very true. You can show off the breadth of your vocabulary by throwing out that. that word at parties and when you're with friends. But anyway, we're moving on. Up next, I believe we had Natty.

Hello, everybody. John Reisinger, who plays everyone's favorite drag queen, mother of the bringer of the Apocalypse, and Drow icon, Natty Wonder. Agreed. Icon, indeed. If I had to pick my favorite word, and we're going to just play a game here and say, I got to pick something other than Giggy, because that's my favorite thing in the It's a proper noun.

Yeah, it is. That's a word. Names are words. Yeah, it's true, true. I would say, I might be teaching you all a new word here, okay? Ooh. The word is premundane. It's like prima donna.

Well, you're just adding layers as to why I like this word. Any reference to any sort of diva or a queen I'm happy with. Premundane is a word we used to describe the time before creation. or before we were alive and that kind of thing. And I love that because I feel like everyone becomes obsessed and scared of the other version, which is, you know... Post-Mundane? Post-Mundane.

Who's a great rapper, I have to say. But I love this idea of like there was all this time before creation because of times infinite. There has to be a time before, you know, everything we... knew existed. I love that infinity in another direction that we kind of, we don't, we don't pay mind to because it's in the past because it's something of a dream that we didn't experience and could not experience. So I love that. I love that. I think it's beautiful. I want to submit that as a narrow question. What do you think that time was like? Probably gassy. Because in my mind, it's like, it's like an empty Nintendo lobby where it's playing some like elevator music.

A white void. I like it. I like it. Yeah. So that's my favorite word. I love to think about that. And I love there's a beautiful word to describe it. So just to be clear, just because I feel like there's an interpretation here. You're talking about a time before all existence, not a time before your existence. I believe it specifically describes the time before all existence. But I like to also apply it to this kind of mentality of thinking about the time before I existed because I perceive the world, through my own perspective as that being what is reality, but reality existed before me.

And there was a world before it. It was a drabber world before Natty. It was a worser world before Nadia. And so, yeah, so that's what I like to think about. Okay. Yeah. It's, yeah, that is an interesting concept of the nothingness before instead of the nothingness after.

I like that. Yeah, man. I got, I got, I got, like, so deep. Dang, dude. All right, all right, all right. I got some real existential dread. Someone turned a fan on. It's got a little smoky here in the booth.

Next up, I believe, was Doug. It is. Hello, everyone. It's Barberduncleman playing Doug Boone, the artificer Bugbear, currently level eight. And Gustavo, to no surprise, Doug knows a lot of words. He's studied a lot of them. He's read a lot of them. All the best words.

Knowledge of words. Prove it. Well, you know, he's heard of pretty mundane and... so hypnoticophobia and anything else you guys have that you want to throw on him. But. I like the idea that you say a word to Doug and he just goes, yep, I heard of it. And that's just the end of it. We should have a little spelling bee in here.

See what how it goes. I did a spelling bee once. Did you really? I did. Oh gosh. That's impressive. I feel like I'd be really about that. I didn't win.

He didn't say you won. To be very clear. I didn't win at all. I won my class. And then I went to the school spelling bee and I lost that. Spell purple. P-E. Yeah.

But Doug's favorite word is fudgel. Fudgel? Fudgel. Yes. Have you heard of this word, Gustavo? No. Listen, not only is it a fun word to say. I mean, say it again.

Fudgel. What a hoot. But fudgel means to pretend to work or look busy while actually doing Nothing. You just described my entire career, Doug. John's an expert at being a fudgel. Got him. No.

I didn't know there was a word for that. Well, guess what? Doug just blew your mind. And none of us, I would say none of us in this room have ever been guilty of... Fudgeoning. Being a fudgel? I don't actually know how you use it in a sentence. Doug just knows the words, not necessarily the, uh, the, uh, the, um, the, um, the,

intricacies, the ins and others. I'm going to say it sounds a verb, fudgel. Yeah, it sounds like verbish. I'm going to say fudgling. Yeah, like you spent the afternoon, like fudgling at your desk. We had a, I forget the exact scenario, but there was someone in our Patreon over at sneaky dragon pod.com, someone in our Discord, I should say, who was talking about a new job they had started.

They didn't have anything to do and they couldn't leave. And I sent this person a link to like a four-hour YouTube video of Windows Update. And I was like, just put this on your computer, full screen it, walk away. You're done for the day. Wow. That is peak fudgling. Did you ever... You guys probably didn't do this,

but I had a special access to people's computers and my first job as being an IT worker. And there were some people that I worked with that were my friends. And so when I would go to their computers, I would hide their start menu at the bottom, take a screenshot of their desktop, change their background to be that screenshot, and hide all their icons.

So they couldn't click on anything. The good old days of Windows 98. That's so amazing. That's so good. Sometimes, I'm going to make a confession here, if we're in a little circle of trust, it's just us, don't tell anyone. Don't tell anybody else. Sometimes in the earlier rooster teeth days, if Gus needed a moment, if Gus needed a minute,

I would offline one of our web servers and reinstall it and recompile it because it's like, I'd be like, I'm just going to reinstall this web server because it's like, I got to stare at a screen of just like moving text recompiling for like an hour. Be like, all right, nope, can't do anything. Sorry, the web server fixing it right now. That's so genius. It's like, it's something that probably needed to be done eventually. It's like, I'm going to take a moment.

I'm going to sit here. I'm going to watch this. This is a task. You can't bother me because I'm doing this thing. Oh, sorry, I've got to defrag my computer as that takes a while. Sorry. Or you could just be honest and tell people that you're about to, you're going to go fuddle at your desk. They don't know what it means.

They're going to call HR, I think. Yeah. Doug, that's a great word. Thank you for expanding vocabulary. Slack afterwards, if we can leave that token. That's one of those things that goes right over your head. Gunther, you're up next. Yes, I'm Chris DeMere Sampley, the male crook-foke fighter.

And I'm glad that we said that proper nouns were okay because I would like to say that my favorite word is my wife, Pugna. I see that sometimes. Can you say it again? Buna. Okay, that's right. Okay, got you. Punya.

I say bunya, punya. Is it bunya or punya? P, P, P, P, P, P, with a P. Ponyo N, P. P.O-N-U-A. It's buried to a magic fish. Nice. Spell it gay, O-Gon-Gon-Gar-Spell it for us.

P-U-N-Y-A. P-U. P-U-N-Y-T-Y. Punea. Got him. Punea. Punya. If not that, then I would say slippery.

That's a good one too. What are you saying, Blaine? I was going to say when she makes puns, do you call her punya? Yes. Great. Okay. Yes. That's my nickname in high school.

Hey, Blaine, was that the response you wanted? You know it. Was that adequate? Slippery is another one of your favorites, Gunther? That's my favorite non-pron-pron-pron-pon. Well, I mean, I feel like if it's a word, you like enough, you could adapt it. Maybe for one of your children, you can name them Slippy.

They could become a great explorer, helping other animal friends. Yeah, maybe they could learn to fly. Maybe go to space. Very good, Barb, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Very good. That was really good. Natty, as you're changing Diggy's diaper,

one of the shooting stars lands in your hand. Oh, but it misses Natty's hand and lands in the diaper. No. They got to retrieve it. Oh, black, dark star. Black star. It's a coiled relic known as the chain reigns of rustling. And you have to stick it in the mouth.

It's horse rains made of black chains, and it feels like sand to the touch. The chains don't make much noise. And you can, it allows you to summon those who seek runaways of death. Oh, I like that. You wrestling? Yeha. Cool. Nadi, I guess, I don't know, puts it around her neck.

is like a necklace. I don't know how to carry this, but I'm going to put it that way. You'll figure it out, yeah. And, you know, as you all look over these shooting stars and these items that have landed in your hand, you look down and you realize you can see the veiled eye as well, and the veiled eyes looking up at the four of you. I remember. It's about time you met, the Pathfinder. Clouds float around all of you, each depicting a scene playing out, a moment in time in which each of you is the main character. What did you all tell me what these scenes are? Why don't you all roll a D20 and we'll go in that order? Nine.

Three. Also nine. 18. Roll off, John. Oh. 11. Two. Chris Blaine, John Bar.

So, Gunther, you see clouds floating around you, depicting scenes playing out a moment in time with you as the main character. So get just like a little micro-vignette, something like a little snapshot into what you think you might see. And then, meta-wise, if you want some inspiration. we can provide you some inspiration. Okay, well, I'm now curious what the inspiration is. So we have, I love it, Michael makes tables for lots of things. So you can roll 3D6 if you want and I can give you like, kind of like improv, right? Like a little setting, a little, some adjectives to help you set the scene.

Okay, let's do that. I had something in mind, but that sounds fun. So the table has things like activity, trait, and place. So, Chris, you rolled a three or five and a six. So you could say, in this case, it would be escorting frozen tomb. Whoa. All right, you're the main character. Hit it. And action.

Well, I like it. Again, it's kind of like an improv theater, right? Where you're like, all right, give me this, give me an activity, give me a trait, give me a place. And then you just kind of build something with it. And you don't have to use them if you don't want to. When I was in the prison, there was a friend of mine. who they passed away.

And they do not do with traditional funerals. They assign us to carry them up and then dump them into the lake. It is a very sad and not particularly a pleasant way to honor someone that you have grown to know. So I had a friend of mine who I knew from the prison. We would sometimes work together when we had to do work detail. Their name was Larry. And they were taken by a sickness and I had to take them and it was so I made, I carried them up and I had words to myself because I wanted to send them off with honor.

And so I said I carried them and then I had to throw them into the lake. And I hope that I can someday tell Larry's family that he died with honor even though. be nice. I don't know if he did. You bought the redneck ex. No. No. You can't help. It's like, it's that meme of the guy sweating, like, holding it in at the desk. He was also like a Doppler effect.

Like he was running by Chris as he was saying. It's just the first name that came into my mind. Yeah, get her done. That's right. So, Chris, I do want to say. By the way, that's not Larry the Cable Guy's joke. By the way, it's not. What?

That's Jeff Foxworthy. You might be a regna. That's Jeff Foxworthy. Oh, they all did it. They're all in the same. Chris, I, you know, obviously we rolled on the inspiration table and came up with these.

I got to commend you for making the call back to the prison and the frozen location. So I want you to take an inspiration die on that. I thought that was really good. That was some good storytelling, some good vignetti. Good, Chris. I think Gus should have little jars for each of us

instead of inspiration dye and he fills them up with marbles when we do good. And when you get the jar filled up all the way, you get a pizza party. You get the atomic bomb! Could things also be removed from the jar? Yeah, yeah. Question for not me?

Yeah. That'd be good. Blaine's would owe me marbles. A cobweb and spider. It's just Gus smashing his jar on the ground. Who's up next? Was it Tolv? I believe so.

Okay. So can you give me the prompts one more time? I'm making a scene in clouds. Clouds are floating all around you, depicting a scene playing out in a moment in time in which you are the main character. So we see like a little microvignette, little story. And this is in the past, this isn't in the future.

Could it be in the future? Yeah, sure. Okay. So. The confidence of a DM asked a question they weren't expecting. I expected everyone to be in the past, but if you want to see the future or whatever, yeah, I mean, go for it. Let's just put it this way. In Toll's mind, this is the ideal outcome to his mission.

This is what he's been fighting for. So Tollv imagines he's surrounded by all of the... of his Thomitech brethren. None of them are wearing disguises. They're all out and proud. They are wearing different, you know, robes and things like regalia that are like, you know, befitting of a person of high status, meaning that they've climbed the societal ladder and are no longer needing to be hidden.

And they are brokering like peace negotiations with other races. There are no wars, there are no weapons. And then the setting is. also like a government-type building that was like newly commissioned, built by all of the different species from, you know, across the world. And there's a statue of Bjorn to honor something that he started that ended with his son Tov. Aw. That's nice. You have a redneck.

Sorry. Oh, God, it's selling me. It's like, ah. If it's a statue of Bjorn, isn't that also technically a statue of you? Yes, but by this point, and I see where you're going and no, I am not that vein slash, what do they call that when you have? Blameish? Yeah, yeah. I mean, I am, but I'm not.

It's a main character. Right, yeah. No, but like with this vision, Tov is also out not wearing his Bjorn disguise, because it is a disguise. Right. So he's just in his normal Thomitech, you know, body. and it's just honoring Bjorn because Bjorn opens Toll's eyes to the possibility of like peace and love and stuff like that between different differing species. So it's at a point where Bjorn and Tov are 100% like distinct. Like right now it might be a little muddy because you're wearing the disguise and everything,

but this is a future where you don't have to wear that anymore. And it's recognized that Bjorn was this person and Tov is this thomatic. Yeah, yeah. He's like a mentor that, you know, kind of paved. the way to that, you know, success story. Great. Beautiful. Natty, I believe you're up next.

Yeah, Natty, what I see is I see a picture of the day I left my village. It was a big celebration. Everybody came and sent me off. My mom's were there. And it was all because of I had had my dream in which I was married to the Silent Steed. and that was a big deal in my village and so it's kind of like I'm failing to figure out

a better less like boasty way of like being like it was like a chosen one moment but it was like a oh you you got bigger things to do that are outside this village and so we're going to send you off like we would like a family and it was a big party

and they sent me off and that's when I went off to join the military and be a part of that organization and see where that took me and look where it's brought me He's brought me to all kinds of things beyond just being a grunt. So it's all been according to the plan so far. It brought you to us.

Yeah. Nice. I like that. It's like a celebration. And leaving your old family and finding your new family. Yeah, Gigi and cat girls. Yeah, yeah. Wait a minute.

Cut to what really happened and they're like chasing out, Natty with pitchforks and torches. That's, yeah, that's sad. All right. And then last and definitely not. At least we've got Doug Boone. So my vision is, you know, back in my hometown, my home village, back when, you know, things were still hustling and bustling. And my parents were there and my brother and everyone.

And the whole village was having trouble, you know, really keeping up with trying to farm and to gather resources. And, you know, I had this idea for an invention that would automatically, like, cut down trees and harvest all the fruits and all the vegetables and the crops and everything. anything like that. And everyone, you know, recognized Doug for that. And I said, here, here, here, Doug Boone, you are the hero of this village. You have saved us from our struggles and our famine. But then I woke up and that actually didn't happen. There it is.

And I was here in my bed with these guys. So maybe someday the glory of my work will be celebrated. But, yeah. So it could be, you know, like we said, it could be past, it could be future, could be alternate futures. So, yeah, hopefully you can manifest this and bring it to fruit. If the world of Midrhus is a map, the Pathfinder would be just off the edge in uncharted territory. You must travel to escarpment of exiles. There you will find what we'll call the doorway to the Pathfinder.

But I can see the way to that doorway is not. fixed for you. The future is always changing. The path often winds. That's why I've provided Doug with the guiding Providence sensor. It's a device the Pathfinder and I had been working on before they left into hiding. To be honest, I don't quite understand the inner workings on this invention, but I know it can provide guidance to you during your travels. The first step is to tell it your desire. destination. And he nods to you, Doug, inviting you to try it out.

Okay. And to use it, you just need to call out the name of your desired location, and the device gives you a direction. Uh. Nadi yells out, combination pizza hut and Taco Bell. Oh, that's a good one. That's a good one. I prefer the Taco Bell over the Pizza Hut, so I don't know if I want to muddle those two

in there. Accidentally show up at a Pizza Hut instead of a Taco Bell, you know. Well, does it have to be a place that I've seen or been to before? No, it does not have to be a place you've been to before. The veiled eye did tell you to travel to the escarpment of exiles. Scarpment of exiles. So I imagine that's where we should go. I know we've been on our journey to like four different places always at the same time, it seems like.

But you know what? If the veiled eye wants us to go there and I know how important it is to find the Pathfinder, Escarment of Exiles. Hip, hip, hooray. Cowabunga. The device chirps to life like a bird song in spring. then you hear a voice utter instructions to you, Doug. I hope it helps guide you on the path to destiny.

Time is of the essence. But before you go, Doug, may I offer a piece of wisdom to you? It's in regards to that invention from which you feel shame. Yes, of course. As I understand it, you feel remorse for the hand you had in what befell your brother Phil. That's, yeah, that's correct. Even so, for reasons that remain a mystery, the thresholder remains tangled up in your stars. I've seen the signs in the constellations myself.

My wisdom to you, it is better to prevail over yourself than to find victory over countless battles. Then the triumph is truly yours. It cannot be plundered from you, not by demigods or demons, not even by Hira or Undar. Good luck, dear friends of fate. He looks at Doug with a kind eye. I look forward to discovering how you figure it all out. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a temple to cleanse. Now with the clapping of his hands together in a prayerful posture,

the surrounding clouds, glossy floor, and the sky full of stars collapse in on the veiled eye, like a rushing singularity that surprisingly ends with silence. You all find yourselves outside the threshold of the labyrinth, Except, wait, the labyrinth has vanished. Nearby, the once icy keep is practically slush with no sign of the fire eater, but mixed with the mush are several burned Undari and corpses, a few still flinching with life.

Gross. Yeah, what do I want to do? All I got to head north. All right. Could we sort out by where the sun is and everything like that? Which way north is? Yeah, I think you all have a pretty good handle on the direction, so you know which way north is.

So you all begin to travel north, and after an hour you feel the temperature plummet even further into colder conditions. It doesn't seem possible, but now that the sun isn't visible on the horizon, the warmth of its embrace are now but a memory. Another hour passes and the land is barren, safe for ice and snow. It's difficult to know how much progress you've actually made on your journey without physical landmarks along the way. But then you hear something. It sounds like a crowd over the next hill? Are they shouting? Are they cheering, rioting?

it's tough to say from this distance what do you guys want to do? Perhaps we should approach carefully and not like, you know, announce our presence just to get a feel for things. Yeah, we just walk towards the noise. I feel like that's just a good thing

to do at this point. Yeah, I mean, we're just, we're just past your buyers. Oh, uh-huh, oh, you need to put on your Doug suit. Oh, yes,

an accident, Titi, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, and like shoves him into like where his uh vest is. And I thought they smelt bad on the outside.

Oh, there it is. Also guiding providence sensor. GPS. Uh, that's pretty good. I don't know what you're talking about. It's time to enter a world of stories and adventure in high rollers, a Dungeons and Dragons podcast set in the vibrant world of Althea, the Dragon Empire. I'm Kim, one of five friends being led through a journey of magic, mystery and

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The Valentine Heresy is a show for Warhammer veterans and people who've never played before, and you know it's good because it's been downloaded more than three million times. The Valentine Heresy. Listen now, wherever fine podcasts can be found. All right, so what was the consensus here? Walk by, because you're passerbyes? Is that what I'm taking? I think we're going to walk towards them, but maybe, like, try to be more sneaky about it.

So we could see who they are or what's going on without necessarily, like, having them see us. Like casual. Yeah. Yeah, that's exactly what I was going to say. So are you talking like, when you say that, Barbara, do you mean like make stealth roles and try to hide or just kind of like casually walk by, like not trying to draw attention? Like what level of stealthiness are you envisioning here? To the point where we're not necessarily trying to hide, but like if there's a group of people all the way over there, I want to get close enough to where like they don't notice me, but I could see them and hear them potentially. Sure.

So maybe a stealth check would probably make sense though. Yeah, why doesn't everyone make a stealth check? We'll call it a group stealth check. And just for my clarification, are you talking like cresting the hill and looking over? Or like kind of taking the long way and walking around it and like trying to peek around it? Cresting the hill, I would say. Okay. I rolled a one.

Yeah, yeah. I rolled an 18. I rolled a Nat 20. It's because I'm too cold. His teeth are shattering, so they just telegraphed. So that's an 18 for Doug, a 10 for 12, a 9 for Gunther, and was out a 20 for 90 for Yeah, Nat 20. Okay.

So 23, technically. Yeah, it's a group stealth check. So even with that less than ideal role from Gunther, you still manage to successfully do it. Okay. Yeah, so, you know, you crest to the hill, trying to keep low to it, looking for, you know, it's a pretty barren landscape, but trying to look for any rocks or natural occurrences that you can kind of duck behind and peek. And when you crest the hill and look over on the other side of the hill, you see a boxing ring in the middle of the tundra. They're scaffolding with lighting and grandstands crowded with all kinds of people. Wow.

It's like one of them, like those like off the grid like entertainment areas. Oh no, Natty's addicted to gambling. We need to watch it carefully. I was going to ask if we could see who's fighting. That's an excellent question. Give yourself an inspiration. Wow. I like when you prompt me.

It's like the next thing I'm trying to get to and you set it up just right for me. In one corner of the ring, you see several small folk with matching hoods on. They can best be described as spangled, and the small folk look to be huddled together, some shuffling with fancy footwork, some shadowboxing, and the opposite corner remains empty. You're going to have to help me with what spangled means. I keep thinking star spangled and I was like... Yeah, it's that word, but is it just adorned? Something decorated with small shining objects like sequins, beads, or glittering spots.

Okay. What kind of people were prepping for fighting... Small folk. Small folk. Yeah. And are they operating like a unit? Because you said that there was no one else in the other corner. It seems like it. And as you're examining them, you hear a disembodied voice reverberating loudly for all of you to hear.

In this corner, the returning seven-time champions of the cross-country clash of competitive combatants championship all away from swang sands. Give it up for the throng-tong. The crowd goes wild, chanting throng-tong. Throng Tom, Throng Tom. Now he starts joining in. Throng Tom, throng town. And in this corner, the silver medalist in the Best Burrow Blowout Bout, all the way from Fly Vats. Let's hear it for the contender, Gunther Bootkis Windbreaker.

Who? Unmored that guy. Gunther. Gunther. Why didn't you tell us you were competing? This is so exciting. I did. What a surprise.

I'm so excited for you. You don't tell us. nothing ever. I did not know. Typical Gunther. This is a news to me. I'm surprised none of you kept going throng, tongue. How do you heard of it? Let's hear it for the contender.

Gunther Bootkiss Windbreaker. Gunther, they're calling for you. You're a fighter. This is what you're meant for. I think you got to go in there. Don't throw me. Throw me. What's your entrance song? You need to have a cool walkout song like walkout music. I don't know you beatbox and

Throw me Do you Don't throw me Alright here we go Try to a strength Yeah make a strength check How pathetic is this gonna be I'm all my strength and not good

Yeah Seven Seven Stunk Yeah you try to throw Gunther but he doesn't make it very far Gunther, make a text check. 18.

Yeah, you almost trip. Doug tosses you and you kind of like stumble over a rock, but you make it just a couple of feet in front of him. I was just meant to give you a head start, that's all. It is more than a head, thank you. I guess they'll go up. Is there like a referee? Who's the announcer person?

We don't see them? No, you don't. It's a disembodied voice that's coming out over the speakers that are in the scaffolding. I guess I'll walk up. I was, uh, who, what are the rules? All right, we're going to have a 12, 3-minute rounds. No punch you below the belt. Let's keep it a clean fight.

Goodness me. I'll tell you what, why don't you roll me a D-10, Gunther? Five. Okay. You should or you need to contribute five gold pieces to the winner's pot. Okay. So hopefully you can win. All right.

Go ahead and roll me initiative. Just Gunther, right? Yeah. Okay. So it's one human-sized frog against seven frog-sized humans. Yes. Potentially, they're still wearing their covers. It's an 11?

Are we boxing so like no weapons, like unarmed? Yeah, that's up to you. Well, I rolled a 13. I'll get to it here in just a second. Luckily, they go first, so you'll get to see how they approach it. Yeah, luckily, Chris. Yeah, lucky for you. Strong tongue.

Strong tongue. You enter the ring and contribute to the winner's pot. Get ready to engage your opponent, and the opponent in the other side of the ring in the other corner addresses you. Guess what, Gunther? It's time for your next lesson. And the small folk throw off their hoods, revealing seven though-tongued-tonged boxers. Their hands and tongues are wearing boxing gloves, and they're each wearing matching bubblegum-colored, spangled shorts and high tops. Do I recognize, these are different throats? They're the same ones that I fought previously.

These are different ones. Yeah, these are different ones. Different, okay. Well, if you remember, because we encountered your aunt and then we encountered those, like, that duo, I feel like didn't we get warned that you were just going to have these random encounters with...

Yes. Cool. I need not know they were so small. Tov, why don't you give a pep talk to Gunther? Okay. All right, Ronty. You're going to go out there. You're going to get on the left and the right.

You're going to get him a jab and an uppercod. Jab and uppercat, yes. Let me see your war face. He think he just goes cross-eyed. Give me a war cry. Heur, yarg. Okay, now give me your best punch. Give me a couple of hits.

He told him raises his hands. Gunther's not particularly strong, so he's just going to be like, little wet slaps. That's great. That's great. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's good, yeah. All right, why don't you roll me a charisma check with advantage?

to see if you're able to pep Gunther up there. Okay. Six and a three. Sorry, Gunther. You're going to do great. Just remember, I love you so much, and you're going to do great. Okay. Because of Tov's ineffective pep talk, you're going to get minus one on your next attack roll.

Nice. Wait, before the boxing match starts, Captain Grumbles walks by the ring with a number over there. He would be a ring girl. The throng tongue jumps to action and all of them come out in front of you waving their hands around, with their hands and their tongues around, being ready to engage in fisticuffs. And they hit AC-25, which I assume is a hit. That would hit, yes. Yeah, they lash out with a flurry of quick jabs doing 16 points of bludgeoning damage.

And I'm already injured too. Oh, yeah, look at that. We took a lot of damage. Yeah. They engage in a little bit of fancy footwork. And one of them's tongues lashes out to faint a punch right at your face. Why don't you make me a wisdom saving throw? That was a seven, but I guess minus one.

So six. Oh, no. No, the minus one's on your next attack roll. Oh. So, yeah, the tongue comes out and you go to block yourself. When you move your hands up to block the tongue, a jab comes in. hits you in the ribs, doing 12 points of blood-inning damage. Cheers.

And you have disadvantage on your next attack. Jeez. That's just child's play, Gunther. You can do it, Chinna pal. Coonther, goonther. Gunther! Gunther! Gunther!

Move your feet. Move your feet. All right. It's your turn, Gunther. My turn? Okay. Yeah. And Mediwise, you could do whatever you want,

whatever kind of attack you want to do. Okay. So they're all little guys. They're all, like, stacked up on each? Is that a gun? I have a gun. They're thodes. They're probably roughly the same size as you.

Okay. They're thodes? Yeah. Do any of them look like Bunlap? You can make me an investigation check if you want, Doug. I'll do that. I'm looking under those hoods. 16.

No, none of them look like Bunlap. You have not seen these thodes before. I should have known. None of them are hot. I haven't obsessed over any of these NPCs yet, so you know it's not Bunlap. That's funny. Okay.

So I can just attack with my sword as normal? Yeah. Yeah. Okay. But you do, because of their, what they did and because of Tov's pep talk, you have disadvantage and minus one on this next attack. Bye bad. All right, let's see here. Wait, so minus one to both of them?

Yeah, well, whatever, you roll with disadvantage and then whatever's the better one, do minus one on that. Okay. Everyone go an attack. Oh, that's... So that was a 27 and 11? and 11? Yeah. So then disadvantagely, take the 11, but then minus 1, 10.

10. Yeah, that's a miss. Yeah, you're so befuddled by this attacks and these, this strong tong in front of you. You're just not able to focus on which you want to attack, and your rapier misses all of them. Nice. They're so slippery. That's a good word. That is a good word.

Think of inspiration, die. That was funny. Dang it, I already have it. I should have used it on my attack. His fight is anything but pre-mongane. Hey, yeah. Second attack, which was a Nat 20. Okay, so you go, you kind of shake it off, go to attack again,

and you rolled a Nat 20 for a 28. However, they begin bobbing and weaving, seemingly like they're expecting your attack. So you need to re-roll that. That's more another Nat 28. No. Inspiration die I shall use. Instead of by three. So get the inspiration die.

Oh, a little better? 17. Oh, that connects. Yes. I shall hit you. Let's go and roll your damage. You know what they say? Float like a butterfly sting like a throng tongue.

That's 10. Ooh, 10 points of piercing damage? Yeah. Despite their best efforts, bobbing and weaving, you're able to connect and hit them, pierce one of them with your racier, doing 10 points of damage. Great hit, Goulda, keep it up.

You can do it. Do it! I want to do menacing attack. Ooh, what does that do? That sounds scary. When you hit with a weapon attack, you can spend one superior already die to add to total to the damage roll. The target must make a wisdom saving throw of DC 16.

On a failure, they're frightened of me until the end of my next turn. So that adds on to the attack you already made? Mm-hmm. Okay. And you said, can you make a wisdom saving throw? Yeah. What's the DC on that? 16.

16. All right, I've got plus one, so I need a 15 or better. Nine, so that's a ten, so that's a failure. Yes, they are afraid of me. I say you back down, throads. Ooh, they're afraid, and you did additional damage? Next to your five damage. I could tell from over here he's being really menacing.

And I go to my, I take a moment and go to my corner and toll splashes water on me. I'm like, oh, that's so cold. But then it also gives me a second wind. Oh. Oh, available exclusively for Patreon members at stinky dragonpod.com. At Gunther, I didn't know you were on a Patreon. Let me see what second one does. 1D10 plus 8.

And that's hit points, right? HP. Yeah. That's only 10 total. But I'll take it. Better than nothing. All right. So that's it for your turn, Gunther?

Yes. Okay. And I do that, my fighting face. That I practice with Toll and go cross-eyed. Yeah. Yeah, that'll show them. All right, so we're back at the top of the initiative order. So who wants to give Gunther a pep talk this time?

I'll do it. All right. All right, Doug, what do you say? I think Doug would pick Gunther up by the armpits. So that he's like face to face with him. So emasculating. All right. Listen here, Gunther.

You are a fighter. You're strong. You're smart. You're brave. That's right. Okay. Don't go in that ring and just fudge. about, okay? We got to actually put some real work in here, okay?

Yes. All right. Go team on three. Ready? One, two, three. Go team. Go team. And then he'll just let him go. Okay. Why don't you have me roll a charisma check with advantage? Because I like your reincorporation of Fudgel there.

Eight. Yes, a three and an eight. So we'll take the eight. So Gunther, because of those encouraging words, you once again have a a negative one modifier to your next attack. It's because I dropped him. No. It's like, no, I'm not that smart. And no, I'm not that brave.

Oh. The throng-tong come back out and they once again, enter a fighting stance and it seems like they almost like enter a pre-practice routine where they hit you with a one, two, three punch. But can they? Because they're afraid of me. Oh. What is that status effect again?

They're frightened. So I don't think they can move towards me. You have to move closer toward the target and disadvantage on attack rolls. Okay. Okay. So I, and I moved back to the corner to get my, well, I guess I would have provoked opportunity attack,

so I guess I'm still close. It was the end of the round. Like, I should have said it better. I figured I was going to get it in a pickup, but every round of combat is like a different round in the boxing match. Okay. So, yeah, now we're in round two, which is why Doug had time to talk to you and give you the pep talk.

Gotcha. Only 11 more rounds. Or a K-O. It could be either way. It seems like the throng-tong, they're a little unsure of what to do. And in the middle of combat, they very quickly huddle up,

and they begin chanting. Prong-tong-tong, throng-tong. You hear a little voice next to us. It's almost like they're psyching themselves up and hyping themselves up. And then they pick up one of the members of the Strong Tong and they throw him at you. Oh.

And while flying through the air, he lets out a flurry of blows fly. They are not very good. One of them hits. As it flies by in your direction, one errant blow lands on you in your stomach, Gunther, doing eight points of blood-jending damage. Oh, throng-tong. So did two of them miss? Yeah.

Okay. I want to use my reaction. I'll take the damage. Take the damage. Oh. And then I repost. Is that how you say that? It's repost, I think. Repost, okay.

I think. When a creature misses you with a melee attack, you can use your action and expend one superiority die to make a melee weapon against it. Wait, actually, can I only use one superiority die per turn or per like action? So, yeah, since this is a reaction, you can go ahead and use one here. But on your turn, you should use just one superiority die. But again, this is not. Gotcha.

It's your turn. So you're good. Okay. So I use my bonus reaction. I rip post. Nice. You said that word good. Gunther.

Okay. And then if this hits, I add that superiority die to this. Okay. 13. Ooh, that does not hit. Dang it. Hope is correct. That's what just came out of me.

When I got punched in the stomach. You're louder on your feet. Yeah, we got to work on here like, pelvic floor or something. I mean, if you're not expecting it, I could see why that could happen. I feel like there's some muscles we can work out that automatically kick in. They fly by, miss, and you try to repost, but also, unfortunately, you miss as well. It's like they're dancing without touching each other.

Yeah. You're beautiful. Okay, so that that thud lands and looks at you, Gunther, after you miss your repost, and says, So weak, there's no way you can attack the throng. Tongong like that. Might you make me a charisma saving throw? Oh, no. Gosh, no, it was a one.

For a two. Yes. He gave me the one two punch. I've played my trap card, and you've played right into it. There's something about the insult that just really hits at your core. His very weak core that poops if he's hit.

Yes, that's one. There's something about that insult that just hits you to the core, and you take 24 points of psychic damage. Oh. Jesus. Are you down? How you doing?

I'm not great. I say that. And it compels you to move as close as possible to the throng. So you get right up close to the mass of fighters. I know. We do that thing where the boxers, they like are like hugging. You know, they're like, oh. So tired of they're hugging on each other?

Just jabbing the hell out of them. They're like hugging. You're like, what are they doing? Yeah. Taking a break. Okay. That's it for them. It's your turn, Gunther.

I must get stronger. I must stop Christmas from coming. Sorry, the way he said that reminded me. We just hit one of Barb Stims. All right. I want to cast Hunter's Mark. Okay. What is that?

On the thong. Is it? Is it, well, I guess a question. On the thong? On the thong. On the thong, the thong, tongs. Thong. I choose a creature you can see within range

and mystically mark it as my query. Until the spell ends, deal an extra. You have questions for them? Yeah, you say query, which is like a question. You're quarry. You're fighting them. Until the spell ends, you deal.

He's going to ask this dog a question, okay? Until the spell ends, you deal an extra 1.D6 damage to a target whenever you hit it with a melee with a weapon attack and you have advantage on any wisdom or any perception or survival check you make to find it. The target drops to zero points.

I can reassign it. Okay, great. That's handy. That's a bonus action. Okay. Okay, here we go now. And I attack. Aha.

About 14. Yeah, that is a miss. Oh, man, this is so slippery. Oh, actually, that's a 13 anyway because of Doug's pep talk. Oh, God. I'm so sorry. Can't miss an opportunity to make Doug feel bad. That's my stim.

I'm already kicking myself I'm going to use my superiority dye to make a precision type I can spend one superiority diet to add it to the roll before or after the roll but before any effects are applied Oh okay so you can add it to this role that you just did So you're adding it to the 13 yeah An extra eight

Nice believe it or not that's a hit Yes yes And then I I can't wait for us to fight a big boss after this This is all just Micah Weakening Gunther's eyes are swollen shut slammed in the face. That's 15 damage plus the hunter's mark,

which it's a 1D6 additional. I believe so. Plus four. So 20. 20. Great. Okay, yeah, that's a lot of damage. You strike at them.

It seems like you're going to miss, but the last second you redirect your rapier and connect with a thong-tong. Doing 20 points of damage. Out. Way to go, Gondor, you got him on the ropes. Oh, I can't see. Nice or so.

They're looking pretty rough, too. Maybe not quite as rough as you are, Gunther, but they're looking pretty beat up with these healthy attacks. Is there anything else you can do? Yes, I'm going to make another attack. Okay. And just quick meta break. I had already told you it missed.

If you're going to use that superiority dye, you've got to call it out before. It's kind of like using the inspiration. Oh, but it says you can do it before or after the roll. Oh, it does say before or after the roll. before after you told the result. Oh, let me... Because, like, you could do it after the roll.

Oh, I see what you're saying. I see what you're saying. Like, I can do it before after the roll. Right, but before I tell you, it's a hit. Gotcha. Just, it's fine for this time. But yeah, just move forward. But before any effects are applied.

Right, yeah. Okay. I rolled, and that was a 13. 13. That is a miss. Okay. Then I will... Uh, uh, uh, uh, action search.

Oh, okay. I thought your pelvic floor was giving out one. again. Car goes wild. Woo! Action surge. So then I attack her again. Oh yes.

That's a 19. Oh, that hits. And I attack there. That's a 10 damage plus. That's a plus 5, so that's a 15. Go for the K.O. Gunter. Oh, yeah. The throng tongue is teetering, but they're still standing.

Black eyes and bloodied, but they're still waving their hands around in a menacing manner and their tongues around in a menacing manner. missing manner. Another attack. Oh, 27. Oh, that's a hit. For two. Okay, so 13 points of damage. Yes.

Yeah. And then another question on the superiority, is it, if I use a second way or action search, is that a second, does that count as a, do I get a chance? Can I use a second superior to die on my turn if I use second wind? because it's a separate action, or is it still? That's a good question. I think the spirit is you wouldn't, but the rule of cool is you would.

So, yes. And we are in like an icy tundra, so it's very cool. It's true. And plus, action search is already limited anyway. It's not something you can do repeatedly. So it's not like you'd be able to do it every round or every encounter. So, yeah, I'd say it's fine. Yeah, imagine spanning action search.

How annoying that would be. Add additional. D8 to make this precision attack. He's holding in the, it's that floor that John's been talking about. They say when you're doing like really hard physical activity, don't breathe. That's an extra two damage. So that's 11 plus 2 plus 2, which is 15 points damage, right? 15. Yes.

Yeah, you lash out with your rapier at the strong Kong in front of you, hit them once again, and they begin teetering on their feet, leaning, weaving to and fro before eventually falling back, landing on the ground in the boxing room. Yay! Qatar raises his hands. Toll start doing the count of one, two.

Wait, I guess it's boxing. He's holding his hands and then just kind of falls back. The winner, the challenger, for making fly flats proud, Gunther Boot Kiss Windbreaker! Is catching grubbles in the ring with holding his hand up too? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Flowers in a belt. He's got flowers in a belt. How much gold did you contribute? Was it five gold? Yeah, that's what you said to do. Okay, so you... The pool. Yeah, you win the pool, the prize pool.

Oh, pool. All I love swimming. So you win 37 gold pieces. Wow. Plus, also, up from the floor, rises the C, C, C, C, C, C belt. What's your stand for, Gunther? They said it at the top of this. The CCC.

Cross-country. They said a bunch of C words that were like the name of this whole thing, and I don't remember them all. Cross-country clash of competitive championships? Take an inspiration done. That was good. It's close. It's the cross-country clash of competitive combatants championship. Wow.

Wow. Gunther, what does it look like? Tell us. Describe that CCCCC-CC belt for us. It is a very pretty belt. It is like a, it is shiny, and it's got all these people fighting of different races, and they're also running a race across the country.

So it's like they're running and fighting like that. And it has them running all the way around the belt, and then they look back around again. And they're still fighting. And then the center is a big smiley face. I mean, that's what you want to see when you win a competition, right? you guys help like a happy. Yes.

Would you scream for Punea? Like, like, Adrian. Pune. Punta. The Throng Tong prop themselves up on their feet and walk up to you, Gunther. And one at a time,

they all go and put their hands on your shoulder. You have warned your western well, Gunther. Thank you. It's a rallying serge. You can use your allies to help you when you need assistance in a fight. Oh. I like that.

So I'm laughing at how much his allies helped him in this fight. Just not talk about that in the past. Now I know how to do it better. Yeah, yeah. The way to learning how to do something is failing until you succeed. Figure it out. That's it. That's true. So if you refresh your D&D Beyond page, you should have a new ability on there called rallying search.

And metagame-wise, when you use it, your action surge, you can choose allies who can hear or see you up to a number of allies equal to your charisma modifier. And each of those allies can immediately take a reaction to either attack or move. Cool. Wow. That's useful. So when you action surge, it allows your allies to also do a reaction to either attack or move as well. Oh, that's cool. Everyone rallies together and gets an additional action. That's really cool. I like that. Yeah, the crowd seems to be dispersing now that the fight is over. And the throng tong returns to their corner, kind of nursing their wounds and taking care of each other.

Can Natty walk up to them? Yeah, absolutely. Is that also the name of their, like, species? No, they're thodes. Just this specific group is the throng tong. Gotcha. Did they do the good game, good game, good game, good game thing to Gunther? Yeah, yeah, they did.

Dude, as a parent who sometimes has to sit out in the sun for lengthy softball games, once they start lining up like that, I get so happy. It's over. I know because my kids don't have like their, my daughter who does it. Like there's not like a set amount of it. It's like more like time and fairness as far as like everybody. And so I'm always like when he gets to a point, I'm like, please line up. Ah, another ending.

That's just because of the heat. I love my daughter. Yeah. Yeah. Natty walks up to him and goes, salutations. My name's Natty wonder. I was wondering. Natty wondering.

Thank you, Doug. I was wondering like, what is all this? This feels like just like a random place to have a boxing match and a boxing ring. Like, is this your guys' organization or what's going on? Are you guys going to just keep flash mobbing Gunther with random attacks? Like emphasis on the mobbing. Any place is a random place for competitive combat, wouldn't you agree? Why do we have specific places for that?

But we do. We do have specific places for combat. And this is one of them. Okay. I guess then, then yes, you're actually, you're nailing it on the head of like, this seems to me out in this like frozen tundra, are we near like a city or an organization or something? Or is this like a secret? Is this a fight club?

Did we find a fight club? One of the throng tong just kind of puts their finger on their nose, taps it. To which question? Nanny asked a few questions about just being a city or a fight club. So which one are you? Again, they touched their nose. Nettie goes over to Dund goes, I know the rules of this. We're not supposed to talk anymore, okay?

Oh, okay, okay. So how did you came? Yeah, how did you know we are coming? Oh, we were sent by Shannon to teach you a lesson. Uh. Isn't that your aunt? Yes, she was a good lesson because my head hurts. And I, I pooped.

We saw, everyone saw. Did Shannon put like a lowjack on you or something? How is Shannon finding you? I don't know. Maybe she, maybe she. Maybe she casted hunters mark on me. Wow, that would be pretty impressive. She told us we could find you here.

That is smart of her. I don't know, understand it. But how would she know that you're here? I mean... You tell me, Doug, I'm trying to understand it. Has she hacked my GPS or something? We all turn and find out that Gigi's been tweeting his entire, like, live tweeting our entire adventure so that everybody can just track us all the time.

Yeah, he's posting photos with, like, geolocation data, tagged us. dropping pins on Google Maps. What's that called when you tell on yourself your location, you get, is like swatted? Dox, doxed? Doxed. I feel more like I got swatted by all these punches. Is that a joke about flies?

Because you're a frog guy. Yeah, while you all are standing there, it seems like they're already starting to train again. A few of them were shadow boxing. A couple of them are using the jump rope. And one of them's massaging another. other ones back. I was going to say, you said that Shannon has sent you guys here to teach, gone through a lesson.

But like, what lesson? Did she just think he wasn't a good enough fighter and he needed some more training or something? She knew he wasn't a good fighter because, remember, he fought her and lost and said, you need more training. That's why he keeps, now he can do that rally thing to help us out because he's a better fighter now. Well, I guess it's a favor then.

Very nice. Yeah, she beats the dickens out of him every single time, but then he gets like a little gift to make it all better. It's a weird relationship. It's, what's it called? Tough love. Yeah, tough one. I will say metagame-wise, they almost had you Gunther.

You legitimately won that. I mean, if you had not had that action surge in that last minute thing, they would have probably finished you next round. Yeah, I was one hit away. My God. Can I ask the Throng Tong something? Yeah, and we can talk about that in a second one, just a quick plug for that.

We maybe talk a little more about the mechanics of the throng-tong and how close it was from behind-the-scenes perspective. I think you need to spend some more time talking also about the refreshments that were offered there. We didn't spend enough time on that topic. So strong tongue, what do you? Thoughts on the wilder flower. Hmm, the wilder flower.

Yes, that's the one. She is very knowledgeable. Oh, okay, so we, do we like the wilder flower? Like, are they... Oh, yes, absolutely. Cool, good deity, we like them? Yes. You would never entertain the idea of, say, leaving them

if she turned her back on you or anything like that? All seven of them spit at the same time. Okay, he did not have to go for my face. Gunther does it too. Gunther, that's not dice either. I think it makes canonical sense for the robot of our team to have the gall to go up to people of a religious nature and be like, you're thinking about leaving your religion?

Like his robot brain can't understand that. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, but I have a good relationship with the seed drinker, though, It's just we saw the relationship with Wilderflower, so I'm just trying to find any thing that's going to help guide Gunther away from it. But this is a dead end, so I won't. Every religion's different. Every group of people worship their deity in a different manner and accept different things.

You never know. Do you guys happen to know where the Wilder Shield is? I mean, we're not supposed to know about that, but. They all, like, put their boxing gloves up in front of their mouse and they giggle. That's horrifying. Yeah. Just to recap my brain correctly, Bunlap went to it to the chimera, I can't say that word, Chimera keep. Chimera keep.

Chimera keep to the Kamericap. Yes, Bunlap left you a note saying that the Wilder Flower had appeared to him and entrusted him with finding the Wilder Shield and gone to Chimera Keep. Why'd y'all giggle at that? It was so funny. Yeah. We heard about that. Is it a joke?

Or is Gunther a joke? I'm the joke. Glenthal is no longer trusted to find a shield. Oh. They all giggle again. It's okay. It's funny. I'm shameful.

All right. I'm with Tov now. Your people are mean. Your God is mean. I don't know if I like this. This phone. Hey, hey, smart Alex. Do you guys know where the escarpment of exiles is?

Are you going to giggle again? That place doesn't exist. It's just a legend. Maybe you guys can actually be helpful and tell us where we can go for a rest because some of us are not doing so well. Under the grandstands out in the tundra. I don't know. Good luck. Under the grandstands, that's a good idea.

Very smart. Yeah, we could stay in the place that Gantra got his butt kicked. That's just the seats. We're just going to sleep under the seats. It's better some protection from wind. That's true. Oh, the fighting ring. Is there like a, could we go underneath it?

Like, is it like a curtain? Yeah, I guess it's probably skirted around the side. You could probably go under there. Honestly, I don't know what's actually in real life. I don't know what's under a boxing ring. I don't know if you could or if there's supports under there or how that actually works. Folding chairs for the wrestling match.

Let's say yes. You could go under there if you want. Under here is a good place to nap. Yeah, Commander Doug, could we take some nannis? Let me scout the area first to make sure it's secure and safe for everybody. Now we could do a little kip in here. Doug will do like a perimeter check. Oh.

Okay, yeah, make a investigation check. Oh, come on. Eight. Totally clear. Nothing at all. Cool. You know what? I have a flash of genius just now, so I'm adding plus four to that, making it a 12th.

Still, totally clear. Nothing out of the ordinary. It seems like all the crowds are dispersing. There's not nearly as many people as there were before, and no natural enemies or predators that you can discern. Okay. It is, however, very good. cold. Okay, well, let's all

kind of bundle in together and maybe make a little fire in here. Okay. We're kind of covered so I don't think I'm too concerned about it alerting anybody to our location or anything like that. Okay. I have to like poke a hole into the canvas to let the smoke out. Yeah.

Okay. So are you all taking a long rest, spending the night? What's the plan? Definitely. Long rest. I think, yeah, I think we don't know. And I assume it's like how you all regularly do it, 12, you'll kind of maintain, like, Sentinel.

Everyone else will go to sleep. That's the one. Yes. Everyone, I guess you can go ahead and mark a long rest. Thank you. Oh, thank goodness. I wouldn't mind asking Gunther some questions, though, once he wakes up and he's, like, recovered from his fight.

Yeah, well, let's see, yeah, some time passes. Gunther, you have fitful dreams. You're unable to really get a good night's rest, despite winning the belt and winning the championship away from the throng tong. You have a vision. You see a flower sprouting before you, growing bigger and bigger until it's your size. And then the petals open up into a blossom and they catch fire. And out from inside the flower steps a familiar sight to you.

It's the wilder flower. Hello. Not her again. Oh, no, really go. What are you still doing here? I'm here to say hello and that I'm here always to do as you wish. and bows. Well, I wish you would stop looking for the wielder's shield.

I've already entrusted that to someone else that's more capable and trustworthy. I wish to prove myself again. I can, I can, I can, I can help them. And I do not have to be the one looking for it. I can just assist them. I think you've proven that your assistance is not necessary. Bunlap is already on the case and he will absolutely take care of this for me. I know he will.

No, he will. I wish to help. Please. She turns her back on you and like stomps a foot. What do you, what do you want for me that I can do to regain your trust? I've told you what I want already. Leave this task to Bunlap. You are not needed, Gunther.

Uh, okay, but I've brought you a gift. She spins around. A gift? Yes. What is it? Me, more of me. Oh. And does this same thing?

thing really cuts himself on his hand. Your face did perk up when you mentioned a gift, and when you told her what it was, it visibly sours again. And you said you cut yourself on the hand, right? Uh-huh. She goes up and inspects the cut and puts her hand over it and says... Yeah, that's the spirit. We'll keep it like that, won't we, I'm there?

And with that, she disappears in a... Okay, I'll see... talk to you later. It's a... It's a... ...that a toot, time. Yeah, you wake up with a start from this unsettling dream. Metagame one. wise, you see that you see that cut that you put on your, on your hat still exists when

you wake up. And metagame wise, your AC is diminished. It's cut in half. Oh my God. Wow. For a fighter too. That's no good. Rest in peace. All right. That's good. It sucks. It's the next morning now. Tov, if you had questions, there's anything you want to talk to Gunther about. He's awake. He looks very unhappy, but he is awake now. Okay. Tolv would have set up camp and made coffee. He doesn't drink it, but he would want to provide it for his organics, his friends. Organics. And he sees that Gunther is like clearly still pretty sleep deprived. So he'd be like, hey, Gunther, good fight yesterday.

He did such a good job. How are you feeling today? I do not feel good. I've ashamed everyone. I don't think you have. You've made us proud, right? Gang, Natty, Doug. Yeah.

Yeah. I've been working on my speech. of motivation if you want another one. Oh, I'd love to hear that. Yeah. Okay. You motivate someone who needs to deserves it. You are beautiful in every single way. You are beautiful, no matter what they say.

Words can't bring you down. Whoa. I came up with that myself. Definitely not a Christine Aguilera song. Whoa. From the late 90s, early 2000s. That's really good. I don't know who Christine Aguilera is, but wow.

She's a poet for sure. Gunther, I'm just out of curiosity. You know, you've been attacked by your aunt, Shannon or Shanna, and the throng tong and all these guys. Those guys are nice. Very nice, yes. And I've kind of heard tale of how you and your deity operate. Like, what's your reputation like around?

Like, tell me, like, typical day back at your home. Like, what's that like? Do people, like, look up to you and receive? respect you? They did somewhat, not like the most respected, but yes, I was, I was, uh, but then I left, so not so much anymore because I'm not there. I see. No, I just, I need to find out, I can't go back.

Okay, well, um, sounds tough, but I want you to know that we're here for you, Gunther. And, um... Nadi, Natty, like, moves up towards Talbush. and goes, is this going how you expected it to go? I mean, honestly, kind of. Because I can put up with a lot of awkwardness and even I'm having a tough time watching this. Yeah, I know my cringe sensors are going off the touch.

Gunther, I just want you to know that, you know, you deserve to be treated with more respect. And I want you to know, I consider you a close friend and ally. And because you did such a good job in your fight yesterday, I wanted to give you this bronze blood shield. Do you want that? Does that sound cool to you? Bronze blood shield.

Yeah, we acquired it back at the, what was it, the temple of the blood bay there? The Basilica of the Blood Bay. That was like three years ago. We told him remembered he had it because we just listed the episode where he got it. The second win might have also revealed

that this would be in better hands of Gunther. Would that be something that he would help you out with your AC? You wouldn't need help with your AC, would you? My ace is so, yeah, it's hot here. You don't know this, but while we sleep, Tov does that thing that, like, what's his name,

like David did in like Prometheus, where he just watches our dreams. Yeah, creepy. Yeah, okay, yeah. I could maybe use a little help with that. I'm feeling a little vulnerable. If you're unable to acquire the Wildershield, I mean, I guess this will work, right?

Yes. Yeah, well, why don't you hold on to this until we, find the Wilder's shield. I know that you're going after that, but how I think the Tov shield will do, you know, in the meantime. That is very kind of you, Tov. Very kind. More kind than I deserve.

Okay. Well, I think you deserve more than you think you do. But here you go. I don't know. I'll unequip it from mine. And it's only been a couple episodes, but just as a reminder, if I recall properly, you can injure yourself, take some damage, spread blood on the shield,

and it gives you the benefits of the shield spell, which plus five to AC, and you block magic missiles, if I remember correctly. Yeah, the shield spell. And it's just, I think, a stronger shield than the one I had. Great. There you go. That's helped.

Imagine when you get your full AC back. Yeah, be untouchable. That'll be powerful. Okay, yeah, so you all are awake. It's the new day. Still bitterly cold. But, because this is like a tundra-type environment. But what's the plan?

What do you all want to do? Yeah, Doug. Doug? Well, we head north. He's so decisive. He's so good. He's going for this job. I've made my choice, but those guys did say that it's, you know, just a legend, just a myth, this place. But I don't think I trust him. I think it's real. I want to believe.

Yeah, it's also like, from Doug's perspective, it's like some randos that he just met telling him that versus his deity that he talked to who told him this. Yeah, so it's like there's different levels of trust in this information that you're gathering. So to recap, we're going after the scarpment of exiles. by following the guiding Providence sensor, right? Yeah. Okay. And then this is also where we think the Pathfinder. Pathfinder is.

Okay. Correct. Off the map on the border. Got it. Contextually where we were, where was the chimera, Chimeric. Chimera keep relative to where we are. Chimera keep is on the way.

You will pass by Chimera Keep heading to the escarpment of exile. Interesting. All right. Well, if I don't say so myself, To exploit the convenience. That is great. Let's go north. Or not.

Depends. All right, you all continue your trek north. Again, it's a barren land. There's not many natural features, not many landmarks, but you continue trudging. You don't encounter anyone else or any other creatures on your way north. I spy with my little eye, something white. That's me.

That's Barbara. Natty sees Barbara. The fourth wall's broken again, put it back up. I'm like Mufasa in the sky. Natty. Sorry, proceed. Yeah, just keep walking. After a couple hours traveling to the north,

through freezing temperatures and a dry, barren, tree-less landscape covered by a thick layer of permafrost, you come across some massive iced over arches and what appeared to be tiered castle ruins. Ooh. Let it go. Let it go.

What do you all want to do? Is this like a place that Doug might recognize from like any sort of story or history book? Make a wisdom check for me, Doug. Wisdom. 20. You recognize this from stories as being chimera key. Hey! Oh my goodness.

Can't believe we've made it. Do I remember from any stories what the like people who inhabit this area or? What kind of weapons they might use? Is it inhabited? You, since only because you rolled so well, I'll tell you a little more. Just because we're such good friends. EFFs. Legend says that there used to be a gold mine in these parts.

And the castle ruins have been occupied and picked over by generations of thieves, soldiers, and monsters. Well, shall we approach the key? Yes, so. Hopefully what we're looking for is actually here, and not stolen, like everything else around here. Well, only one way to find out. Okay, let's go. It looks pretty deserted, so I think we could just walk right in. Let's do it.

All right, as you approach, those arches get larger and larger, and you see that they're iced over iron arches that protrude from the frozen ground and they're triangular in shape. Like they're just arches that go to a peak? Yeah, pretty much. But they're iced, you said? Yes, they are iced over, and they appear to be made out of iron, and they are peaked, like John said, like they're triangular in shape.

Gotcha. Does Natty walk up to one? Yeah. Is it iced over enough that you couldn't go through them? You'd be able to make it through. The arches themselves are iced over, but there's enough space for a passageway through the middle of them. Is this a harbor of any sort?

No. Nothing water-related? No. Yeah, Nadi walked through him and kind of look around at the arch as she walks through to see if there's anything interesting, like a note or a bell that goes off when she goes through. I don't know. Maybe instead of the iron arches,

maybe are there any golden arches perhaps? You know, hey. Not sponsored. There's a guy taking a bite out of a hamburger and he looks like he hates his life. You mean product? His product. Look at this product. Now you're able to walk through, no problem at all.

Okay. Yeah, Natty just starts kind of doing the thing like when you walk into like something like a garden or a museum and just kind of strolling through and looking around and just kind of seeing what she sees. I think Doug would follow Natty. And for some reason, he's compelled to see something. say, it's alive? Yeah, you're able to walk through as well, mumbling, it's alive under your breath to yourself. Oh, I remember that now. Now I get the reference.

It's from a grotesque episode for those who are still confused. Here's how far my brain went. There was actually a Halloween promotion thing for McDonald's, whereas da-da-da-da-da-da-da, it's alive. Like that was the thing, and I thought that's what you're referencing. But nope. Yeah. Could Nadi just call out and just be like, hello? Oh, wow.

Wonder, wonder. Here, here. Thank you. Everyone makes the same joke. The ground rumbles a little bit. Natty puts her ears to the ground. Well, one ear. You can't put both ears to the ground.

That would be gross. Make a perception check. Also, while this is happening, I think Doug would grab Gunther and shove him back into his vest to keep him warm. His little papoose. Yeah. Don't you freezing little guy?

12. What's my perception? 3. 15. You put your ear to the ground and hear a muffled wailing deep beneath the ground. However, the sound is quickly overtaken by thunderous rumbling. The icy ground cracks and gives away. You all collapsed suddenly into a sinkhole. Oh.

Everyone roll a dexterity saving throw. 15. Or 18. Roll a 15 and then a Nat 20 because I've got advantage. So, Nat 20. You all plummet 30 feet down into a cavern below, but most of you keep your footing, managing to tuck and roll into the fall, except for Doug, who takes 12 bludgeoning damage from

smashing into the rocky floor. A dilapidated sign clatters from the ground next to you. It reads open-weave gold mine. Once the cavern settles from the cave-in, you make out the shadows of an underground mine with walls marred by caustic burn marks. Something suddenly breaks the silence. Heavy footsteps thump in the darkness, heading straight toward you. Find out what happens next in the next episode of Tales from the Steaky Dragon. Fun lappers at you. He just walked back and forth a bunch of times. All right, thanks for listening, everybody.

We'll see you all next time. Find out what's going to happen. Will our hero survive? I don't know. Maybe everyone except Gunther. The next episode will be titled Dig Dog. Thank you, Chris. Listen, I'll play so much Pocopia before next episode.

I'll be ready to go with all my mining. Nice. There's a digging Pokemon called what? Diglet? Yeah. Yeah. There's also Dilber and all... Yeah, Drilber, yeah.

All right. We got to let Barbara go, so you should go play for Kobe. We've released a dia gem dice at store. Dot stinky dragon paw.com. Tis right, thine prayers hath been answered. All ye faithful followers of Daya, the sacred diagems have been unearthed and can now be yours in the form of dice.

Unlocked the celestial and magical. mysteries of dye with all six colorful gemstone diegem dice and the purlicent white diadem of Diagems D20. Fair warning to all followers of Daya, these premium glass and stone dice have been known to make you roll like gods. In honor of five years of magic,

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Stop missing out on the adventure. Become a patron today at stinky dragonpod.com. Some of our friends provided voices for NPCs in this tale including the veiled eye, voiced by Andre Ulet at andre. Throng Tong, voiced by Ben Singer at Ben B. Singer. Check out their animation channel, Death Battle, or their board game channel, Nightly Brew. The Wilder Flower, voiced by BK at Black Crystal. This week's arrow question was submitted to by Mini Hami 11. This episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon is produced by Ben Ernst and Micah Rysinger, written and composed by Micah Rysinger

and edited by Elena Lecorchick. Join us in the tavern next time for the aromatic adventure of Tales from the Stinky Dragon. She, uh, very, very knowledgeable. Very knowledgeable. I have to talk like they have something in their mouth. Sorry, so I have to...

Just put it in your mouth. Yeah, push it in your mouth, Jess. Surely you have an incrustable, very close to you. Very knowledgeable. Okay. Less things in your mouth, Gus. Is this? Is that a sock?

Very knowledgeable. That's, mm. Okay. Very knowledgeable. I've got a bunch of eyeglass clean, like cleaning cloths. I just stuck in my mouth. I was going to say, you're not going to be able to use those to clean your eyeglasses anymore. Very knowledgeable.