Tales from the Stinky Dragon - C03 - Ep. 45 - Under Oondar Fire - What's Mine is Yours

Episode Date: June 10, 2026

Brutaliteam explores the mines below Chimirrora Keep.Support us directly on Patreon https://www.patreon.com/stinkydragon - get access to ad-free episodes, bonus content like Stinky Dragon Adventures & Second Wind, our patreon-exclusive discord, and more!Check out our new merch at store.stinkydragonpod.com - Dice, Player Character Tees, Blankets, Hoodies, and more! Follow us on our socials at https://linktr.ee/TalesFromTheStinkyDragonCast: Gus Sorola, Blaine Gibson, Barbara Dunkelman, Jon Risinger, Chris DemaraisWriter/Editor/Composer: Micah RisingerProducer: Benjamin Ernst Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Drop dead into the Stinky Dragon and Knock Back our latest leaf juice. Frightened to breath. It's a mixture of Gala Apple grapple, a gasp of orange aura, a wing span of water, thunderous deflation tea and topped with a pinch of pantine pepper. One batch of this baited beverage will take someone else's, brother way. Previously our adventurers were given godly guidance via the veiled eye about pinpointing the position of the Pathfinder. Next they navigated north and noticed a nomadic melee match in motion. Then Gunther's name was thrown into the ring for a throwdown against Throng Tong who was

there to thrash Gunther with a thought-provoking thesis. When the walloping was over with, they went their way but were withheld by the Wilder Flower who wanted Gunther to withdraw for wanting the Wilder Shield. Conclusively, they convened at Chimera a keep, but confoundingly collapsed into a cavern. cobble a cup and let's continue this coccodorous Chronicle Hello everyone Welcome to Tales from the Cicodorus Dragon My name is Gustavo Therola And I'm your Dunger Master

I'm gonna hit our four players with an arrow Whippy! By the way, Micah does this to himself I'm just gonna say it Yeah, it's a mouthful You do it to yourself, Micah Next time you read an intro Just put a boxing glove on your mouth like the throng tong Just up that ante

This week's Arrow Question 4 Ooh I did it to myself This week's arrow question for players is if you had to defend yourself in combat using a vegetable, which would it be and why? And that was submitted by a water bear. Everyone going to roll a D20. Let's get this in order. I used to sleep on a water bear, but it was not good for my posture. That's what they call me when I go swimming.

Sometimes I sleep on a bug bear. I don't have a joke. I'm just going to sit as we just went around the horn. Seven. Seven. It's a roll off. 18 14

dang it dreads John what was yours I didn't hear yours I was waiting for Chris but he's taking his sweet little time I was trying I couldn't find it

eight oh critical failure okay so it's Barbara Blaine Chris John oh no Blaine I think it's Chris

because we both rolled seven That's right okay so Chris Barbara Blaine John thank you Let me teach you a little thing about dungeon

mastering Well the thing I learned from it is that when everyone just yells out numbers. Sometimes it's hard to keep track of them all. So that's why when you guys said you had a roll off, I was like, I'm not going to crowd Gus with any more information right now.

The problem was, before I had you all roll, I thought, should I write these down? I thought, no, I can't remember four numbers. And then the roll-off happened. I was like, oh, I'm not prepared for this. I like to crash Gus like he's a computer and throw as many pieces of information at him to overwhelm him. He can handle it. To where he goes, thunk. And then I have to control, I'll delete Gus. Yeah, I make that, uh, that Mac sound. Yep. Okay, Chris, you are up. Hi, I'm Chris Damaris. I put Gunther.

Defiant today. Oh, my gosh. Fighter, level eight, broke folk. Here's what's going down. What are you going to do about it? I actually did have to defend myself with a vegetable one time. That tracks. Oh, yes, yes.

So there is this. So Bunlap, he has, there were two sisters and he liked them both. And so we went out into out to the dangerous part of the desert and to look for a very special very special flower to give to both of them. We had to find two. And in the way we were of course attacked by birds. And these were and they nearly I nearly died. I nearly died.

But then at the last second, Bonap was like, the cacti. And so we used the cacti. We burrowed in and pulled them out and then used them as swords to the fight of the birds. Is it cacti a vegetable? Do you eat cacti? What side, like what main course do you eat with? We're using cacti as a side. Just curious.

Oh, it is a vegetable. You can eat, you can eat. It's kind of like cucumber. You can eat it doesn't define it as a vegetable. Yeah. Well, we eat it where I am. At my village, we eat cacti. We used to just like, we used to divide things into vegetable, mineral, and animal.

Like, that's free. What a wild categorization. Why did we do that? Don't get me wrong, Chris or Gunther. We eat it where I'm from, Mexico. But I don't think we call it a vegetable there either, just for a real world connection here. But, okay, okay, I guess. What would it be then to you, Gus?

Just out of curiosity. Because I don't know. I don't disagree with you, but I'm also like, it's a plant. Yeah, I never thought of it. There's a vegetable growing up. Like, I don't know. Like lettuce is a vegetable, right? Cactus are the other, like, prickly pears?

Those veggies. It's a plant. They might be a fruit. They're vegetables. I thought, stick with it. Hey, stick to your guns. You started so strong and defying earlier, Chris. Stick to it.

It is a vegetable. Yeah. Okay. I'm seeing conflicting information online, Gunther. Some say you're right. Some say, some disagree with you. We'll say you're right. I tell you this, the birds that attacked us.

They, they said nothing because they were killed by vegetable. Okay, you're right. Put the cactus down, Gunther. We're all friends. To be clear, he comes from a certain people group, maybe to the croak folk. They are vegetables.

We don't know how good of scientists the croak folk are. Yeah, you guys can't be insensitive to Gunther's culture. Please. His culture, comma, ignorant. Ignorant is part of our culture. Now you... Oh. It's all making sense now.

It all makes sense now. I understand Guntar completely. I get him now. So did you all, you all gave the flowers? Was the mission successful in the end? Well, yes. And let me tell you this. Bunlap was very popular.

I could tell why. Okay. All right. Thanks, thanks, Gunther. All right, next step I think was Barbara. Yes. So I am Barbara Dunkelman and I play Doug Boone, the artifice or bug bear.

And when you're talking about, you know, vegetables and what constitutes a vegetable, there's a lot of a debate, apparently, that can be done. But what you're not going to debate about is this being a vegetable, and that is broccoli. Okay. And the reason why I'm picking broccoli, when you're defending yourself, you know, in a battle situation, part of your strategy is disguise and being able to be sneaky. And broccoli, if you've seen it in, you know, large amounts, kind of looks like, a bush or a tree or something like that.

So if you have enough broccoli, you could kind of camouflage yourself as if you're in, you know, the woods or hiding in some type of shrubbery. Sure. And so, you know, I think sometimes the best defense is a good offense. Doug, have you seen how big you are? Yeah, I got a lot of broccoli. But also, in Doug's defense, Doug can squish down real small into tight spaces. So I think Doug could hide behind some broccoli.

This is a clever I'm going to do right Think of it next time when I'm in danger Oh yeah I always got some broccoli in my pocket gunter And I think like the small handful I have Should conceal you pretty well That is an excellent plan

I feel like I'm having a flashback to Another timeline Another life Yeah okay broccoli You gotta hide The best offense is a good defense Yes Okay got it

I was about to say That you know broccoli's a vegetable Because it was in veggie tails But those guys had a tomato leading that show, and that's not a vegetable, so I can't, I can't trust this. And I know because Blaine's favorite fruit is a tomato, so it can't possibly be a vegetable. That's me. I talked about it in second win.

If you want to hear more about my love for fruits, second win, that's the place for you. Just wait until you hear Ben's favorite fruit. You'll have to listen to it. I don't remember what it was. So, yeah, I'll have to re-listen. All spoiler. It was a borg. Oh, sorry, that was so long ago.

I forgot. It's this morning. No, bleak that out. People have to go listen to the second wind and know. Blip it out. Sticky Dragonpod.com. That settles that. Next up, speaking of Blaine.

Hey, it's Blaine. I play Tov, a male Thomotech barbarian, level 8. Yoo-hoo, it's me, it's Toll. And, oh my goodness, if I get into a situation where I have to defend myself with a vegetable, I'm in a bad predicament. But I'm always going to turn to my trusty-wusty friend, the rhubarb. Yeah. You know, rhubarbbs, they're dangerous.

You know, like the stonks, they're edible. You know, I wouldn't know because I don't really need to eat. I think it gets pretty sharp, I think, too, right? The leaves are poisonous. Oh, what? Yeah, yeah. So you'd be careful with those rhubarbes, but I also have an affinity for the rhubarb lady.

She was a meme several years ago, and she went, Rubarb! And I think that's funny. I don't remember that one. There's something about Barb. That makes me laugh so much. Oh. Oh.

Thanks, Blaine. I appreciate it. Yeah, I make you laugh. Wow. It's fun. I'm told who are you talking to? Oh, wait a minute. Wires across.

Yeah, for some reason, Barb is a really great, it's just a great sounding, like, mouth feel, Barb. You know, it's a great name to give someone. Oh, Barb. Definitely not, you know, reserved for those over the age of 50 or anything like that. Yeah. Definitely has not fallen out of fashion. Definitely not.

It's weird how names do that. I know. Yeah. Not a lot of Gustavos. No, not even in Mexico anymore. It's not a very common name anymore for some reason. Not Johns and Chris's are a dime in the dozen. Yeah.

Yes. A lot of blames. The pain of having a complicated-sounding non-English-based name is having to spell it every time you place an order for something on the phone. Anytime a call like a takeout order. All right, here we go. G-U-S-G-U-O. You ever got a good one from Starbucks or something?

Normally, I think lots of times what I do also to kind of... Well, on Starbucks, actually, I use the app. And so they printed out. That's true. So, yeah, I can avoid that nowadays. He's beating the system. But, yeah, thankfully, technology is paving the way

so I don't have to constantly spell my name. And it always talks to me how slow people write. Anyway, thank you, Blaine. Last up, John. Also funny spelling John. Yeah, J-O-N, for those who don't know. I wasn't going to say anything when you were like, oh, having to spell my name.

Like, what if you have the most common name ever? but still have to spell it every single time. Like, what if you had the name? They literally used to describe people who don't have a name. But it's not the right way. Anyways, I'm John and I play Natty Wonder, who is a drow, warlock drag queen,

mother of the bringer of the apocalypse, you know, forever friend to Captain Grumbles and wife to, or betrothed wife, we haven't really sorted that out. I like death. I like death. She's cool. All right. If pressed with, I was thinking, I'm thinking about this while all my very intelligent compatriots were sharing their knowledge of the vegetable world. And I was thinking about, oh, I remember this one time that I was sifting through a bunch of stuff in my mama's temple and they had this box full of like really important, like old little tablets, little little stone tablets that were like small and like palm size. And I remember seeing all these little creatures.

that were sketched into him. And I saw this one that was like a bird. And he was holding a leak. And he looked so scary holding that leak as a weapon that I was like, man, that must be the best weapon in the natural world. And so that's my answer. As I learned from these very historically important little stone tablets that leaks, they're deadly. I don't know.

That sounds a little far-fetched to me. There it is. There it is. and no one else. The blank faces right now, Chris, the blank faces. I was just going to say that a leak could be deadly if you have it in a boat. True, true, true, true.

So I'm guessing at this point, you haven't found a far-fetched in Pocopia yet. I don't know if I have. Let me see. I'm just letting you know, Barb, that was a very, very lengthy reference to Pokemon. Oh, it's a guy who has a leak. I see.

Yeah, he has a little bird. Yeah. No, I have not found him yet. What's his habitat? I don't know. That'd be a good question. That we should not let the birds learn of this offensive movie. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

They do not need it. They're dangerous enough. Wait till you find out the one that uses the other side of the leak as a sword and shield. Oh, my gosh. I do not want to meet such a bird. That would be a rivalry, gundo. Thank goodness that technology has been lost. These ancient tablets.

I'm so confused, but I'm happy to be included. Yeah, I can tell Gus is like, I don't know what's going on. Hey, no cap. Okay, great. Lots of, lots of vegetables, lots of, lots of information gleaned here from the arrow. Thank you, everyone. Let us know in the comments what dish you can make with all four of our vegetables. Yeah, the classic cactus, broccoli, rhubarb.

You can do a smoothie, it would just be real bad. A bitter smoothie. You put your ear to the ground and hear a muffled wailing deep beneath the ground. However, the sound is quickly overtaken by thunderous rumbling. The icy ground cracks and gives way. You all collapsed suddenly into a sinkhole. Oh. Everyone roll a dexterity saving throw.

15. Or 18. Roll a 15 and then a Nat 20 because I've got advantage. You all plummet 30 feet down into a cavern below, but most of you keep your footing managing to tuck and roll into the fall, except for Doug, who takes 12 bloods and. damage from smashing into the rocky floor. A dilapidated sign clatters from the ground next to you.

It reads, open-weave gold mine. Once the cavern settles from the cave in, you make out the shadows of an underground mine with walls marred by caustic burn marks. Something suddenly breaks the silence. Heavy footsteps thump in the darkness, heading straight toward you. You hear a voice.

Oh! You know, I've always said we could use another entrance to the mines, and sure enough, there you all come, a tumbling-down smack dab right in here without a little. even knowing where you were going. Well, you know, at least I assume that's the case. Oh, you know, mom said I always shouldn't assume. You know, what she'd say, Claudia, if you assume, you'll turn into a donkey.

Which doesn't make much sense to me until that is she turned into a donkey herself. Just out of the blue. No explanation, no warning. Mom's a donkey now. Man, what you go and do? She up and ran off into the woods with no goodbye, letter or nothing. Just no more mom or donkey, I guess. Donkey, I guess.

Donkey mom? Anyway, listen to me, Gabby, all about me, me, me, me. She'll be welcoming you to open weave gold mine. Why do they call it that? I'll never know. But what I can tell you is that in here, what's mine is yours? Tolvia breaks. Well, I tell you this. Your mom sounds like a jackass. With a wink and a flourish of her hands, you see the source of gabbing is from a Goliath about 50 feet away.

She has filthy ginger hair and chiseled muscles from head to toe. She's wearing overalls and knee pads made of what looks to be waterproof chambray, but what really catches your eye are her chartreuse, green, powdery wool. socks. Get it? What's mine is yours? Anyway, if you folks are going to be down here in these parts, I'd highly recommend you take a little perusal of my mining merchandise, could save your life. I mean,

it would have saved Lester for sure. Poor Lester. He swore he could hold his breath for longer. He said, I don't need no special mining equipment. I'm a professional. But I tried to warn him, this place is no joke, even for veteran miners like Lester. Oh, that reminds me. He told me this great story about how one time he dug up these two gemstone eyes in a camera.

I rolled a four. Giggy attacks her. I rolled a D20 and I rolled a four. I was like, are we supposed to it? Yeah, Gigi is biting her shartreuse wool socks right now. Oh, look at that with you. That would a cute little guy. I think he just wants to come up here and play. Do you think he's overstimulated?

Maybe he just needs to get a little bit outside time. The dust of the cave in has more than cleared by now. And you see you're in a slow. It's important. He's overwhelmed. I think he's going to go get his medication now. He was literally giving me like a sensory overload. And I was like, all right.

All right. We're taking a break now. Okay. Chris peed his pants. I could see it on his camera. He's too much. The dust of the cave in has more than cleared by now, and you see you're in a sloped mining cavern that's partially submerged in water. The walls and ceiling are made up of brownish-red rock,

and all along the ceiling are pipes that drip every now and then. In front of you is a railway that slopes north down into a water-filled corridor, and to the southeast is a stone door with no handle. And Claudia, the Gabby and Goliath stands near the northern watery slope behind a merchant-style made of mine cars. What do you want to do? Cabin Goliath. Man, I feel like we are supposed to go talk to her to find out what it is we can buy from her.

But I don't. You're like, I'm good. You don't have to. There's another exit. Nattie Wood. This is the problem. This is like, this is character versus John right now. Gotcha.

Cabin Goliath, they might have swears to sell. They're running a store, are they not? Yes. amongst many other things that is one thing she mentioned Okay Yes what do you have That you would recommend

Yeah and when you say Which mine is yours Does that mean like We could take anything for free? Or is that a mind pun? Also respond succinctly We're gonna play a game Called Five Words or Less

You know I have to say I feel bad for Claudia Because they're down here Assuming they're all alone So they just want to They just want to chat They just want to you know Why do you think they're all alone?

Bolly, Natty, you mean. Nope. John, that's John. I want to be very clear. That's John talking. John's the bully. John's the bully. She's splitting her attention, looking between you and a giggy, unsure what to do about the child gnawing at her socks.

Oh, you see, I've got plenty of wares to offer visitors like you. You see, you're going to need all kinds of stuff when you go down to the mine. I got a pick hammer, a hand drill, a wedge, a storkleface mask, a mine car, a mine permit. Got to get her mind permit if you go out to go out of a mine permit. go down to the mine because if you go down without a mine permit then you try to help you get stuff out of the mine. Hey guys, why don't I take care of the mine permit? I'll do the paperwork while you guys take a look at the wares.

How about that? Sure, yeah. Could I sign you for all four of us at the same time? Absolutely. Signing, you know, here you go. You got the mine permit right in front of this five gold pieces. You know, normally supposed to be each, but I'll just go ahead and do a special deal for you because I like to cut of your gym.

Just five gold for all, we'll cover all of you. Now, do you guys have like, does this mine specifically like coffee, beans or some sort of caffeine mineral that you have consumed. Oh, heavens, no, I'm just, I'm just full of life and, you know, happy to be here, happy to be talking to some friends. Love that. Also, could I do a quick read-through of the contract, the, the permit to make sure we're not, like, signing away something important?

Oh, that's smart. Yeah, make, uh, intelligence check, Doug. Uh, I rolled one, uh, but I'm going to do a, my inspiration die. This is probably a good call. of 10? Not bad. Okay. You know, hey, who actually looks through and reads line by line their contracts?

You kind of go, okay, yeah, yeah, y'a, got, yeah. I think Doug does it for fun because he could read very fast. Oh, I see. Can he read as fast as he can talk? Fasto, actually. Ooh, it seems to be on the up and up. It grants you a non-exclusive permission to dive into the mine and to retrieve and keep any precious metals that you may find.

Oh, so finders keepers, essentially. Yeah, cool. What's mine is yours? All right. So you said five gold? Yeah. All right, coming in. I wouldn't check.

The snorkel face mask, I'm assuming, is for helping you go underwater. But I feel like Tov has something that has that ability. Hold on. I'm checking. Well, didn't you spend, like, a ton of time just sitting underwater? Yeah. I just want to make sure. I wasn't going to say it.

Oh, you see, all of the tools I sell are water repellent, because you might need some of the parts of the mine are underwater. Ooh. That's real fresh. What do you think my mom is up to right now? You know, she just wandered off into the woods. You think she's carrying stuff around? Do you think she's helping someone?

Does she need help? Does she because she's a donkey? Yeah, she's a donkey mom. Well, you guys having, like, a familial misunderstanding where you guys, like, really didn't understand each other. And, like, you know, your mom was trying to convince you to marry someone. You didn't want to, and then she turned into a bear. I mean, donkey.

And, like, do you have, like, really red curly hair by any chance? And, you know, you're short and foot. your own hands and all that stuff. Take an inspiration die, that's good. That's had you do, but... That was a reference to Brave for those of you who still look confused, Chris. Okay, I haven't seen it.

I have a hammer and a pick for my... Just dismiss tools. They would have a hammer, pick, and a wedge, right? Yeah, I imagine. Okay. I guess the only thing we might need is if you guys want to go under Votter

and then, you know, a mine car. How big are the mine cars? What are the features? Airbags? Four door, two door, hatchback. And will they fit all of us in one? All six of us? Four of us. We'll say you could probably all fit into one mine car. I'll be nice there. How much for a face mask? Oh, snorkel face mask, guaranteed to not fall off. Only 10 gold pieces. Jeez, whoa. I'm used to being underwater. It's high quality. You can't expect to cheap out on high quality merchandise like this.

Mm-hmm. All right. I will use 10 of my 11 gold pieces to buy one for myself. How do you have so few? Because I got rid of them all because I'd bet on worm horse thingies. Oh, right, the Burma Mustang. Oh, you won't regret it. You're going to enjoy that. That's going to keep your face nice and dry. Could I quickly tell if she's lying about there being water underground? Can't we see water? You can make a vibe check if you want, but you can see water to the north.

Okay, so. You know what, how about Nadi I buy your water mask? Sure, if you want, I'm okay using my money. I'll buy both of them for me and Natty because I don't think Toll and Gunther need it. Yeah, I don't think I wouldn't need one, right? Because I'm used to, like, being in the water.

You tell me, what is your character you should say? Well, I don't know, it doesn't say anything about water, but... Nor does mine. I think it's interesting how Chris has been very specific about saying he's a desert-type frog, but he always brings up that, like, he's very adept in water. Well, because that's where their town is.

it's in like oasis. Yeah. Think of the beach. The opposite of the beach. Oh, sorry. Barb was trying to help, but Barb did it wrong. Think of the beach and then think of not a beach and what that wouldn't be, apparently. Well, like, instead of a little bit of sand and a lot of water, it's a little bit of water and a lot of sand.

That further is the idea that you would be really bad in the water. Yeah, but I grew up and I grew up. I grew up in the water. I'll take a hand drill, a snorkel face mask, and that's it. Okay, yeah. Oh, yeah, we can double those up. You get a special deal, 15 gold. Okay, let's do it.

How about mine car? How much does that cost? Funny you should ask, that's also 15 gold. Okay, I'll take care of the mine car. Can you do, can you, Claudia, can you do 12? Let's play paper, rock, scissors. Here you go, ready on three, one, two, three, go. Oh, let's go.

On three. One, two, three, shoot. Oh. Paper peeper for rock, sorry. No, can't do 12. You got to do 15. I did a rock, you know. That's just so me, right?

A rock. Oh, God. He's a mine. I know. I'm trying to be thematic here. I know. I'm surprised she didn't go with a rock. Yeah.

Well, maybe, you know, if the person controlling me had thought about that, you probably would get on a rock. Now, oh my goodness. Now that I'm looking at this mine car, there's like an owner's manual. Claudia, can you read this to me really quick? I wonder what her version of Real Quick would be. She just kind of explodes. When you listen to Nobody listens to Paula Poundstone, the comedy podcast, you learn stuff.

I've been learning to throw a boomerang, because this is the kind of thing that really gets the listeners engaged, you know. Interviews with people who will make you smarter. Does the amount that you learn protect you from cognitive decline? Can't people just listen to the show? Can't they just enjoy a delightful treehouse full of information? I think I'm bleeding. Join us and be a nobody. Do you remember that feeling of your first critical hit?

Are you one of those people who are getting ready to start that journey? Well, I have a show for you. It's called Girls Who Don't D&D because none of this all-female team of players has ever joined a D&D game before or any other role-playing game. They go from learning which dice is what to challenging the gods themselves. They're surrounded by a beautiful character. environment has been described as a cross between Terry Pratchett's Discworld and Douglas Adams, Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, and to World, you can be part of two. That's because their listeners perform pre-recorded sections that fit into each show. Those parts and the rest

of the show sound amazing with carefully added music and effects that bring a touch of the cinematic to your experience. It's kind of cool how they're complete amateurs when they started and they really progress. I think you can probably, you know, we can relate to that with Tales on a Stinky Dragon starting off kind of as newbies and then really learning the game as we go. I think that's a great way to approach it. And you can join this group of assuming Australians, otherwise known as the girls who don't D&D on any device that lets you stream podcast. But I'm warning you, this one's addictive, heartwarming, heartbreaking, and very, very funny.

What happens when two people who grew up in a very strange corner of Los Angeles look back and realize just how bizarre their upbringings really were? They start a podcast, of course. I'm Ashley Johnson. And I'm Talies and Jaffe. Before we became the internet people we are today, we spent our childhoods as working actors, appearing in shows like growing pains and films like Mr. Mom. In our podcast, Weird Kids, we're diving deep into our unique upbringings,

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All right, so you're in this room, and just as a reminder, there is a corridor to the north and a door to the southeast. Yeah, I was going to ask about that. This is a door down here. Where's that go to? Because I assume the little railroad tracks in the north are how we'll take our car out of here. But what's that door go to? Oh, you know, I've never gone up that door. I don't know what's going over there.

Maybe you should go take a look and tell me what you find up there. Sure. Mystery door. Daddy, you want me to come with you? I mean, yeah, more than merrier. You said it was a door without a handle. How do I open? Yeah, you take a look, and it appears to be a door made of solid stone with no handle on it.

Is there a hinges? Not that you can see. Maybe they're on the other side. Oh. Okay. Well, Doug, we've got a conundrum here. I could figure it out. Yeah, I'm hoping you could.

He said it. He said the line, Bart. Oh, that'd be a good shirt. Like a little construction, Doug. Oh, yeah. What if I did this? What if I used my ghostly gate and looked through the door

to see what's in there to see if it's worth it. Is that your other drag name? That's my crew. Yeah. Yaws. I can see through it. What do I see through the door?

Yeah. Also, Natty finds it works best if she puts her face right up against the object. She's trying to see it through. So she's got her face flush against the pushed, smushed up against the door. Excellent. You see what appears to be like a mechanism. You can see an internal mechanism in it that opens it with hinges on the other side that connect to a foot switch that's kind of hidden beneath some dust and dirt on your side of the door. Oh.

On the other side, you see what appear to be steps leading higher. Natty does like a little soft shoe dance and then ends her little dance with pushing her foot on that little button that she now knows exists on the side of the door. Yeah. You do a little soft shoe and shuffle over and step on the switch and the door slowly slides open. Tadda! Wow. Nadi, I must say I'm wildly impressed. That was adorable.

You know, I've been in this room a long time and I've never seen anyone go over there and touch that door. In fact, I wonder my under a... Manny goes in the door. Closes it. Nanny goes in the door. As soon as you, like, right as you begin walking towards the door, it begins sliding closed again. And you managed to step through right before it closes. All right. No one follow me. I need something to let me out. Okay. Doug's on the other side.

Doug will stay on the other side of the door, but saw Natty do that so knows how to open it, I would say. Okay. Make a perception check for me, Doug. Okay. I was like, Doug. You're going to hide this button? Well, we've got to see if Doug was so enthralled with your dance that he noticed where you stepped or not. Okay, yeah, Doug did see where you stepped. He did notice that the dance ultimately led in that. I got eyes in the back of my head and the front.

Inside. I am a biblically accurate angle. Do not feel me. Be not afraid. Natty, you climbed this staircase and come to the top and you find a similar solid stone door at the top of the stairs. But you know, you're on the inside of the inside of. and you trigger it to open.

And when the door opens, you see what appears to be some kind of foyer. It feels a little cold. It's carved of marred but an ornate stonework dappled with gold flakes. In this room, you see a frozen pond and a smooth stone footbridge crossing over that pond. There's mirror shards penetrate an arched ceiling. Oh. Mirror shards, as in they're like stuck into the ceiling? Yeah.

Okay. We encountered magic mirrors. Remember? They were like portals. Yeah. Yeah. In the underground place, under ocean place, right? Yeah, we were able to put like our arm through it.

And it would come out the other side. Oh, there were that now. Yes, yes, yes. First, Natty's going to take her foot off of this new button and see if the door closes on its own. Because she's going to have to figure out a little system here if it is. Yeah, you wait a few seconds and after several seconds, the door slides closed as well. Okay. Can we say I have Captain Grumbles with me? Sure.

Okay. Cat and Grumbles? Stay. Stay, Captain Grumbles. He's like your gambot. He just is there when you need him. Yeah, he just doesn't do anything and curses a lot. Yeah, it's perfect.

It's like everyone's favorite uncle. So then Natty goes into the foyer. Huh. Yeah, he is. Let me give you one additional bit of information that maybe I didn't give you there. From this room, you see a couple of different exits. You obviously have the door that you're walking in through, which is in the northwest corner of this room.

On the northeast corner, you see another door that appears to be kind of shiny, and then to the south you see a turn style. This is purely in Natty's room, right? Yeah. Or is this? Okay, okay. What is this? Mine?

There's a turn style? Well, think about it. Make a wisdom check for me. That's a Nat 20. Ooh. Yeah, if you think about it, you all came in on one level with the keep and then fell down.

And then from down, you took stairs back up. So you're back like on the grip. Oh, I'm in a foyer, so I'm in an entrance. Right. This is the entrance to the mine. Okay. Frozen Pond, little bridge that goes over the pond. Yeah, the footbridge.

Bridge leads to turnstile? Yeah, the footbridge goes north to south. So, yeah, it does, the footbridge does essentially lead to the turnstile. Okay. Then shiny door, Natty investigates. Yeah. You walk over and take a look, like you just, investigate, you don't open it or anything.

He's got a handle? Yeah, it does. Oh, okay, yeah. Natty checks it. The door, you know, as you go to open it, you realize that it's some kind of gilded material. And you open it, and once you open it, you're overwhelmed with the smell of wine. Ooh, mommy juice. And, yeah, looking through the door, you see what appears to be maybe a banquet hall of some kind on the other side of that door.

Whoa. Is there anybody in there? Make a perception check. That's only an eight. What's my modifier? Three, so 11. Yes, you do see a couple of creatures on the other end of the hall who seem to be unaware of you opening the door

because they are in a heated argument at the moment looking at a document on the table in front of them. Oh, Natty would have a hard time not listening in on an argument. At the far end of the table, you see three creatures that look like massive bullhorned Undarian Devils. Oh. With mandibles. The three of them are in a heated argument.

No, I'm telling you, The Wilder Shield is further up in the keep. Then another one interjects. Yes, but that's where we saw that fighting frog that killed so many of us. We must proceed with caution. Natty would change her visage to match them. Okay. Using Natty's abilities to transform her appearance.

We'll get to that in one moment. I'm going to hop back to everyone else and then we'll deal with that. Okay. Okay, yeah. So the three of you are still waiting there in that little entrance area with Claudia. Do you think your friend left you? Is she ever going to come back? Because, you know, she went up there and then she didn't come back.

It's kind of like what happened to my mom. She just went off into the forest and then she didn't come back. But she was a donkey, of course. Your friend wasn't a donkey. I don't know. I would never say that about your friend. Your friend seems like a totally fine person. Yeah.

Yes. Do you want to like find your mom or something? Yes, this a quest? Oh, heaven's no. No. Oh, okay. Are you lonely? Do you have any other company or anything?

Oh, no, I've got lots of friends here. And she pulls up her right hand from under the table that pretends like it's a puppet. You see, I've got Handy here. Hello, my name's Handy. I'm friends with Claudia. I can sit here all day and I sell stuff. Well, Handy, you're going to let me talk every now

and then you can't just hog the conversation. I know, I know. It's a fault that I have. I know, you see, Handy always does that. She always butts in and just keeps going and doesn't know what to shut up. You've got to let other people talk to have a good conversation. Isn't that right?

Yeah, I know. And I thought I always tell you. Handy, I told you, stop interrupting me. The one time I don't have sleep as a spell. Do we want to make our way towards Natty, or should we wait for an indicator that they're... What was that, Naddy? Yes.

Oh yes Sorry our friend is calling us It sounds like Hey guys I think Nanny needs our support Over here by the door Yes Oh yes

Yeah Claudia you want to come along Oh yeah That'd be great I'd love your friend Yeah I know I already miss your friend Who's already up there Do you think she likes me Because I like her

I think we could be I think we could be best friends So Come along Come along Yeah I think she really likes you They took a shining to you for sure

Yes Yeah I think actually, if you, do you want me to open the door and you could go in there and go find her? I think she might be lost. You might need to go help her. We're going to send you ahead. How does that sound, Claudia? The listeners don't know this, but every time I start talking is Claudia, John slowly takes his headphones off.

I don't have to listen. I'm not in the room. I'm not in the room. Danny's gone. It's canonically accurate. I don't know what you say. It's role playing, yeah. I feel like I've discovered John cannot stand the quick talking.

Blaine cannot stand the slow talking of was it captain? And Kirk. Oh, yeah. And the sloth people from Campaign 1, yes. Yeah, I don't like the slow talk. Oh, I will take a slow talker all day long. Well, let's go on an adventure, yes? Well, I think, should maybe one of us at least stay out here just in case you can't open the door from the other side?

Yeah, that's what Captain Grumbles is for. Captain Grubbles is up top. Like, Natty. I don't want to offer it up, but do you think a Gambaud? would be cool watching the mine car and the door. Why don't me and Gunther stay out here watch and told him, why don't you go in and find Natty? And with Claudia, of course, yes.

Well, Claudia, you could stay out here with us. Okay, okay. I'll just stay here. We just have to come up with a signal. Then you knock a certain way, then I knock a certain way, then you knock a certain way, then you knock a certain way, then you knock another way, then I knock a different way, and then I let you in. Claudia, I think we must all stick together.

We can't leave you behind. You're parts of the party now. I think we could leave Claudia out here. It's just for safety purposes. you know, guys, that's an important part of the team. Heavens, no, I can't possibly leave my shot behind, you know, because this is all I have left. Do you have any, do you know any fun songs or signals that you would want to do?

How about this? Mm-hmm. You hear us knock. It means to open the door. I don't know if there would be any other reason that we would be knocking other than if we wanted to come back out through the door. Okay, got it. So when you say knocking me like a knock or a knock-knock or what kind of knock?

Mm, that'd be thing. Why don't you determine that, Tollve? A knock, knock, yeah. Just a simple knock-knock. Knock-knock. Maybe, hey, you know what, Claudia? Maybe I'll throw a little flare at you when we come back, huh? How's that sound?

Ooh, okay. I look forward to it. I can't wait to see if we get a little flare again. Okay, all right. Like Googling songs that you could play with Knox. It's Phil Collins in the air tonight. Ba-boom, boom, boom, boom. All right, we'll see you later, Claudia.

Keep an eye on that mine car for us, wouldn't you? Oh, you got it. I won't even charge you for the extra supplemental mine car insurance. Okay. I'll tip him one goal. I feel bad. Claudia's, I feel bad for Claudia. She's, you know.

She's lonely. Yeah. I know this, I know this personality. Maybe I have this personality. I don't know. I see me in this picture. All right, so we go through the door? Yeah.

You all proceed through the door and there's a staircase going up. And you come up to the top and you find yourselves in what appears to be like a foyer for a building. It's kind of frigid. It's carved of marred but ornate stone. work dappled with gold flakes, a frozen pond, smooth stone footbridge it crosses over the pond north to south, and mere shards penetrating the ceiling. Natty had a plan of something she wanted to do that would require her to be alone, so could we resolve that before they join me in this area?

Yeah, I'm going to resolve you as soon as they come up and see you. They're going to see you walking out. Okay. Can I quickly test, like, I don't know how high on the ceiling these mure shards are, but can I see if they are not like stab and then create loud noise, but can I test to see if these are portals or just actually mere shards. Sure, we'll do that when we come back to you because right as the party comes into this room,

you all see Natty doing something at the door, at the door in the northeast corner of this room. And what you see is... First, Natty's going to take a moment to think, and Natty's going to use her ability moment to think to stop time, basically. And just walk over, since I can't interact with stuff, this is just reconnaissance.

I'm going to walk over to where those three guys, are, those three Andarians, and just see, like, do they have anything on the table, notes, weaponry, anything that would give me some sort of information or an edge on, like, if I were to approach them or talk to them, or anything like that? Yeah, make an investigation check for me. And I'll give you advantage because you are taking a moment to think here. First role was a 14 plus 1, so that's a 15, second row was a 12. So it's 13, so 15.

Okay. I'm going to further read the description of the room for you now that you're walking in, and then we'll resolve your question about what you can find there. So this is definitely a banquet hall of some kind. It smells of wine. You knew that the smell from when you opened the door. There's a wooden banquet table that's broken in half by a curved fang piercing it through the ground, through into the ground.

Golden chains of macromay design hang in possibly sideways dangling towards the center table. The top of the table is rather sparse. However, you can see where these Undarians are at the end of the banquet table. The document that they're huddled around appears to be some kind of map. Oh. Nanny wants to look at that map. The map appears to be, it's rudimentary and seems to be incomplete, but it does appear to be, based on your limited knowledge, it shows the room you came from and this room and some of the surrounding rooms.

Oh, so it's like a map of what Nattie thinks is like the mine, or the keep. Right. More like the keep. More like the keep. Okay. Man, would love a camera right now. Just don't have one. I feel like you got a good memory, though, to be able to recreate it.

Yeah. I remember we discussed the photographic memory of Natty Wonder. Yes, yes, yes. I mean, yeah, I mean, John has one, so John would be able to take a little mental image of it. Okay. Then Natty would go back to where the entrance of the door was, no. Oh. Is there another door that they would have come in then? Yeah, there are a couple doors.

Okay, tell me about those. Because I imagine they're not using the mine door. That's what I was wondering. Is like, did they come in through something and, like, came into the foyer to the banquet hall? Or is there another room that led them to this banquet hall? Yeah, so there's the door you came through, of course, which is in the shiny one. Yeah, the southeast corner of this room. To the north, there appears to be a dark corridor that's also an egress out of this room.

Just open corridor, no door wet, no door on it. Correct. Yeah, Natty's going to go up that way because this actually helps with Natty's plan. Okay, so while time is still frozen, you're going to go over there. So just letting you guys know in a meta-wise, I'm going to try something. If it doesn't work out, you guys are going to need to save Natty. We are your teammates, we shall.

So it gets really good that we made sure you guys are on the way. So you make your way to that northern corridor, and it's rather dark and drafty. Make a dexterity saving throw. Okay. Give me something good. That's a 19 plus dexterity. 22.

That's pretty good. Pretty good. You walk into this corridor and you almost lose your footing. Because as you step through the corridor, you realize that the floor here is collapsed and there's a sheer drop down to some kind of tunnel system. You land before Claudia. She starts to jabbering.

Psychic damage. Psychic damage. You managed to keep your footing, but the shock of it, scares you a little bit and your right leg goes numb. My right leg goes numb? Yeah, you shake it all about. Yeah, just from the fright.

Oh. The fright? Of almost falling into the darkness. Gus, does your leg go numb when you get scared? Do we need to take you to the doctor? Metagame-wise, I'm rolling on the meat grinder table, so stuff starts happening as you all are moving around. That's fine. Nanny's going to use this.

Nanny's going to use it. You always use it for the performance. And so Nanny then starts time up again. And then shambles into... Like Captain Grumbles. They're starting to have each other's mannerisms. Actually, Nanny's going to actually specifically use this leg thing and change her visage to be damaged, hurt.

But she's Andarian. Okay. One of the Undarians at the table, I don't know if I mentioned earlier, is also injured. The one that was screaming about... Yeah, yeah, yeah, because they were talking about that. Yeah, yeah. And I'll come in and be like, guys, guys.

The frog is back The frog is back It's right up That corridor Let's go get him The frog The one who's injured Looks rather worried

But the other two Grab their weapons I'm not in a state to fight He's just right up that way up in the keep I'm gonna take a rest here You guys can handle him right Making deception check Can you see toll

Through like past them Maybe I'm like mimicking a faint Oh, yeah, I like that. I was going to say it's low. I rolled 11, but Nanny has plus 7 on deception. Oh, my God. 18, my dude. Okay, yeah, the two uninjured ones pick up their weapons and charge off through the northern passageway.

The one who's injured remains there. And then Natty faints. Oh. Oh, dear me. I have something that I can, I have something I can do with the injured one. Kill him. Yeah, I mean, at this point, if you all had walked over, you could intervene. You could see you would have gotten to the door to see Natty or make a intelligence check.

Also, what do we know it's Natty? That's why he's making this intelligence check. Okay. I rolled a five, but I'm going to use my inspiration die because I really want this bit to work out. I think this is a great bit. Oh, that's a bad. 15. Okay. You see this scene play out, and you're pretty sure.

sure the creature that fell down, you know Natty well enough having traveled with her, that you feel like she's probably in disguise and has convinced these other Undarians to leave and has pretended to faint in front of this one remaining injured Undarian. Okay. I sneak up very quietly and then I use my mitten of mushrooms and I release the fungal spray. And as a reminder, it's a mushroom covered Thomitech glove. It smells musty, spongy texture, attracts hungry animals, glows in your fungus. making Fist releases fungal spray, 15-foot cone, DC-13, Constitution Save.

On failure, Target unable to form short-term memories for 1D-4 turns. On success, Target loses current train of thought. Whoa, good use. I like how you could have just said this makes us so they can't make memories, but you read us the entire item. Good stuff. In his defense, I normally ask for that. Just to remind everyone.

Yeah, make me a stealth check. Okay. Also, I think Doug would see you using that and be like, Oh my god, that is so cool. I need to figure out how to make one of those for myself. But I have to warn you, anytime I use it, it makes a fart noise. It just goes, does that mean we have to take away one of the party farts? Oh, no, that's my ammunition.

Ooh, okay, my stealth is a disadvantage, so unfortunately this is a five. Oh, I was going to make you roll with advantage because Natty's distracting, so that'll even out. So we'll just take the first one. That'll evens out to one roll, so we'll just go off that 17. Okay. Yeah, you managed to sneak up and release the fungal spray into the face of this Dari and who is unaware, who has to make a constitution saving throw, I rolled a 10.

Cool. On failure, target unable to form shirt to memories for 1D4. Okay, so 1D4 turns. I mean, I'll roll a D4, but I don't really know. Four. Great. So they're like max confused. All right.

Yeah. Natty will spring up. Yeah, I back away. I back away. I've done my business. Well, knowing this guy just like is just now like dumbfounded for a second. Uh-huh. Natty's going to grab the map and walk towards the door and grab Tov and just pull him like a mother pulling their toddler out of Ross.

You know, that... Specifically Ross. To the door and then go through the door and close it behind her. They were busy hiding in all the coat racks. I was playing, Ma. Back into the foyer. Yes, back into the foyer. Okay.

You do that, grab the Umarion's. Very confused. Tries to stop you. Then forgets. what he's doing, and tries to stop you again and just like seemingly stuck in a mini time loop.

And this door had a doorknob, yeah? This door was closed, yeah, and it was unlocked when you came through. But has a doorknob, yeah? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Hey, Tov, yeah, I'm gonna need to use that hammer of yours real quick. Hold on, I want to see if I can do it with my bare hands. I'm gonna rip the handle off.

Make the check, Tov. Was the strength? Yeah. Yeah. D-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da. Dirty-20. Yeah. You're able to break it and that kind of jams up the door so that the knob doesn't work to open it.

Still got it. Amazing. All right. Toles, you break off the door knob, making it more difficult to get passage through this way through the rooms. And Natty, you're reunited with your party. But before you're able to say anything to them, everyone roll me a perception check. Okay. What do you perceive?

13.6. Nat 20. Nice. 18. So I think everyone but Gunther would hear this. You hear a few different voices calling from the south. Like, not in this room, but the other end of the turnstile. Yeah, you hear voices calling out.

Belder! Belder! Beldr! Beldr! Beldr! Bob? Beldr! Is that you? Hello! Doesn't Maddie say that? Yeah.

You all hear footsteps coming closer, and then from the southern end of the room, from the other end of the turnstile, three Goliaths approach and regard the party. Oh! Have you seen you? builder. I don't think we have, but we have seen our very good friend, Claudia. Did she talk your ear off? Oh, but yes, but Claudia's so nice. She means well. And have you met Handy?

It's true. He was real talking at that one. Yeah. What about Indarians? Have I seen any Endorians? Natty quickly turns her visage sonabi. I had assumed you dropped it when the spores went off and you all were leaving that room. Yeah, they were running around and screaming about frogs or something. What?

They were screaming. Do you know that there are Hondurians here? Is this a place that they camp out? We think they took our leader, Beldr. Oh.

No, is it Beldr or Bilder? Beldr? Beldr? It's just like it sounds. Belders. Okay. You spell that out for me? What are you all doing here? Are you looking for gold?

You better not be looking for gold. We just kind of stumbled upon this place, actually. Literally. Yes. We're actually here to deposit gold. Deposit gold? Yes. We did spend quite a pretty penny to get the supplies we have right now.

That's true. Supplies. Supporting the local economy here in wherever this is. Gold mining supplies? No. No. Adventure supplies. Yes.

Yeah, we got a mine car just to go cruising through the mines, you know? We're scientists. Yes. You could deposit the gold with us here. We'll hold on to it for you. When we get, if we find any, which we definitely won't. Your friends said you were here to deposit gold. Yes, exactly.

Yeah. We don't, no, we don't have yet any. How can you make a deposit if you don't have any? Well, we already bought the, the... Oh, you've confused me. We don't know you. Why would we give you our gold? Yeah, and Claudia said, you know, what we find, we get to keep. Finders keepers. Well, Claudia's not the boss.

Belder is. Well, Belder's not here. We're trying to find Belder. And Belder says you can't take the gold. What are your names? Let's the, there's a little kind of an air of confrontation. Let's just like, calm down. What are you guys' names?

Confrontation. You look like a glary. Glary. Glizzy glary. Me? I'm Sleepy Z. What's up, Sleepy Z? What's up with you?

Sleepy Z? That's cool. You like an artist? Like, I don't know, do you do music or anything? That's just a cool name. No? I'm just looking for Belder and taking care of the gold mine. Well, why don't we just go look for her down there?

You know, we'll be on our way and we'll see. and we'll see if we could find her. What does she look like? Yeah. Beldar? Oh, you'll know her when you see her. She's really energetic. Can't miss her.

Okay, that's not really a physical description. Yeah. Yeah, thank you, Doug. It's like, maybe just tells us what color hair she has. Well, Beldar's also a Goliath like us. So you can't miss that. She's got a lanky frame. She wields some golden butterfly swords.

Can't miss it. Okay. Cool. Waterfly, sorts. And is it Goliath as well? Yeah. If we run into Beldor, we'll tell them sleepy Z's looking for them. We're going to send her right your way.

Ooh, you're going to be employer of the month. You're going to, oh, big rays coming your way. And don't take any gold. Of course not. No. You're going to give us gold. We'll consider it if we run into any. I want to be very clear.

I said we're going to deposit into the mine. It's like a game. We put it down in the. there and then if you find it, you get to have it. But you can skip that and just deposit it straight to us. Nope. Part of the fun is the game. It's like Easter.

I could give you the chocolate, but I'm going to hide at first. I don't know this East Tar. I'll tell you about it later, but it's fun. Trust me. I'm a mama. That is technically very trustworthy. Hmm. Make a persuasion check for me, Natty.

15 plus 3, 18. Okay. As long as you promise, you won't. take any gold, you help us find Belder, and kill any und Dorians you find on the way, then you're okay. I mean, we'll do the first two, but I'm not going to promise strangers I'll kill people. He looks you up and down. Aren't you in the Mortallion?

Maybe you ain't my commanding officer? You're not superior. You're not small and yelling at us in her shrill voice. Yeah. Somewhere in the distance you hear, uh, Steyleye. Yeah. Okay, well let it slide this time, but don't take any gold. Yeah, you better.

We better? Yeah, you get a little snippy here with me, okay? I don't like it. It's too much attitude. You're in our home. What if we didn't mean to? Bring it in, Sleepy Z, big hug, big hug. Yay, everything's okay.

Let it all out. There we go. Now, do you calm down. I just don't like it when people come in with too much of an attitude when they mean strangers. What if they're not? they'd come into your forest home, and then people were like, then I would have been like, hi, how are you? I'm Nanny Wonder.

Well, that's your culture. You know, maybe they're just bummers here. Did I start slowly placing each of our teammates into the mine car? Dumb Dums and Dice would like to welcome you to the grim darkness of the 41st millennium in the Valentine Heresy, a Warhammer 40K RPG podcast. Newly promoted Inquisitor Lucius Valentine has received visions of the death of the God Emperor, so it's up to him and his rag-tag team to save the galaxy. The Valentine Heresy is a show for Warhammer veterans

and people who've never played before, and you know it's good because it's been downloaded more than three million times. The Valentine Heresy. Listen now, wherever fine podcasts can be found. These Goliaths are leaving back to the south of what are you all doing? We're going to go back to the door. Yeah, heading back to 90's dear friend Claudia. Yes.

Okay. My dear departed friend Claudia, right? Unfortunately not. So you're going to go back downstairs? Yes. Can I ask what this frog? You said there were frogs. What other frogs?

Who are you asking? I'm asking Natty. The guys that I just got to get out of here, they're talking about a frog who was killing all their people. And I would assume... What? I would assume it's Bunlap, but they didn't say he was attractive, so I don't know. It's hard to tell.

And where was he? I don't know. They just said it for a second. I had to move quick. I didn't want to die. They also said they said something about the Wilder Shield or something. You don't know that. Yeah, we don't know that.

Four of you make me a perception check. Ooh, that was bad. Six. Five. Oh, 26. Whoa. Three. As you all are making your way to that door that you all came up through,

Doug, you hear a very timid voice call out. Are they gone yet? Captain Grohlblitz. It's first words. I mean, yeah, everyone, everyone but us is gone, so probably whoever you're referring to, yeah. Are you belliter by any chance? You turn around to see the source of the voice and a Scroni Undarian crawls out from under that footbridge. They must have been hiding down there.

Their breastplate is iced over and they have a small satchel with them. Well, I'm just so scared of them. They're so big. Is a Scroni Undarian? Not sleepyy, no. Yeah, it's a Scronyundarian. It's like the one. that were in the other room.

You were in... Yeah, you saw them. Like, the one that you... The fungus spray on, uh, toll. Oh. Why would they not like you? Why are you afraid? Well, they're, they're trying to kill our kind.

Aren't you, aren't you an Andarian? Well, yes, but I don't want to be. Oh. Oh, self-aging on Darian. I want to leave the castle and leave the Udarmi, but it's just so, so... So difficult. Well, good news. We have room in our party to add another person if you want to join us.

Yes. Can I? One in one out. I guess Captain Grumbles has to stay behind. We'll put you in Bill's PC. You heard her, Tov. One in one out. We'll see you later. Okay? You go find your siblings. All right, bye. My name's Rosalberry. What are your names? My name is Gunther.

Roselberry. Why are And Arients here in the first place? I'm Doug, by the way. Thank you for letting all of us introduce ourselves. Sorry. I am so rude. These are my friend, Doug. It's okay. Listen, Rosal Berry, our friend Gunther here just heard about potentially his old buddy bunlap, potentially being involved in some shady stuff.

Have you seen him by any chance? He's like me, but stronger, more handsome. Sexier. Yeah. Better and kind of. Every, like, facet that a person could be better. Yes. I'm just kidding.

No, it's true. Bunlap is very good at lots of things. Also, that's Natty and that's Tov. Rosalberry, my name's Dosei. Wink. I don't want to, they could be a spy. I don't want to give the way my information. Oh, yes, and my name is Nunther.

Nantir, yes. Well, the Udarby's here looking for the Wilder Shield. They know it's here somewhere. They what? Uh, I don't know. Uh, the Wilder Shield? Why would they need... They should not have that.

Do you have it? What's in that satchel? No, this is my stuff. What value does the Wilder's Shield give to the Undarians and the Undarmi? Great name, by the way. I don't know. That's beyond me. They just told us to find it.

As far as a frog person, no. I don't think so. Is he meat? Is your frog mean? Does he look like this guy? He points at Gunther. I mean, he looks a little like him, but I don't have a real. call him being very mean, although if he is fighting against you, he might be seen as pretty

mean. I could understand that. Oh, he sounds scary. Now that you're on our team, he will not be mean. Oh, okay. I mean, technically, he was, you know, he left us and you're like the betrayer of your people, so we don't know that Bunnap wouldn't turn on you, Unther. He would not. He would not. I was going to suggest maybe, uh, Rosal Berry, you know, like you clearly don't want to be part of Andarians. You're trying to kind of get out of here, right? You'd like to maybe leave without a tray so they can't know where you are and kind of get out. Yeah. Well, we could help you do that.

Maybe if you give us some information. Oh, yeah. Okay. I have lots of information. Bless you. Bless you. Good intight. Oh, yeah.

Allergies. Do you know why you guys are looking for the past? Pathfinder? The Pathfinder? From what I understand, the Pathfinder is the key to the Und Army victory. Vague. Well, I mean, think about it, it's like... They're trying to find the gates of Hira, right?

Yeah, this is like, essentially, will be a grunt in the army. Like, how much information really filters down? What do they need to know? You know, it's like, these are higher-up decisions you're asking about. Fair. Have you been up there? You point to like up in the key? Uh-huh.

Yeah, I have. Was it, was it all on Undarians? Who is up there? Who is up there? Well, there's Udarias, and there's Golias, and there's monsters? Oh my! They're all pretty nice, though, so far from what we were able to tell. They're not really scary.

Oh, they're scary to us! Well, I, for one, would like to go up there, if that is where the wielder shields are, and also where one that may be. I mean, what we do... I wonder if that map will tell us... Could you fill in the blanks on this map? map that we have like a map here that seems a little incomplete and maybe you can kind of tell us roughly where the Wilder Shield and this crazy frog beep beep bo do do do do it could be crazy frog

crazy frog come on crazy frog I don't know if that's the exact tune but it's uh it's like that silver metallic looking frog thing had the goggles on his head beep beep yeah come on crazy frog no it was it's from a long time ago like questions. Oh, I know. I know what it is. I'm waiting for Chris to figure it out. I looked it up, but I recognize

the way it looks. Old means. But I don't know. You don't remember going to like a skate park as a kid and that was with their blasting at the skating ring. Beep, beep. Well, I don't know where the wilderness shield is. Otherwise, we would have found it by now.

Right. Okay. Okay. Mm-hmm. Okay. And you don't know where the frog is. You said that much. He's hiding.

He strikes where we're not expecting it. Cool. Predator. Nice. Love it. Well, Gunther, do you and Bunlap have like a secret phrase you say when you're like, it's all clear and you want each other to like come out or something like that? Yeah. What we say is it's all clear. I like it directly to the point. Okay. Oh, Rosalberry. Here's a question for you. Have you seen anybody that looks like me and I rip my face, my Bjorn face off? And I show him my Thomitech face.

I'm going to make a roll to see if that scares them. Rosalberry starts screaming uncontrollably. Are we done? Gigi is going, oh, I actually rolled a Nat 20 on this with Gigi. Gigi's going to go over and try to console them, because Gigi's also Indarian looking, and so Gigi's going to go over and try to go for a hug. Oh, my God.

Oh, what a fun little guy. That's not at all terrifying. Tell your friend to keep her skid on. The Gickey turns around and starts talking back to Tullum. Like, like wagging his finger. Dove did nothing wrong. Listen, we're all... Now Gigi is doing it to Gunther.

It's okay, it's okay. All right, I'll put it back on. But anyways, have you seen anybody that looks like that, though? They're called Thalmatics. It's actually quite nice. No, I think I would remember that. I've never seen anyone like that. Okay.

All right. And you should not yell in horror. There's nothing wrong with not having skin. Well, no, but you've got to admit it was pretty shocking. He did it for shock value. He was trying to get a reaction. And that's the reaction he got. Guthr's being...

Guater, I appreciate you defending me. It's okay, Guetra. I'm used to it. It does not make it right. I know. Inspiration die for you, Gunther. You get a special edition of inspiration die. I've used whenever.

No expiration date. That didn't eat. Okay, so I don't know how much Rosalberry's going to be able to help us out. They are so low on the totem pole that I don't think we need to take Rosalbury with us. I think we should. Oh, I didn't know if that's what you were insinuating, sorry. Well, no, I'm just like, I don't know what else we can ask them. Is there any other open-ended questions that we need assistance with? Well, Rosalberry, do you know where the Undarmi might be headed to next? Well, from what I understand, from here, the U-Darby is

marching straight to Fort Edridge. Oh, that's not good. Oh, why there? Well, to fight. Oh, that's like home base. That's like headquarters. Well, not do this now, because you are now in our team. No, no, I'm trying to leave. I don't think they want to be in any military. I think they're trying to get out of fighting, so.

I just want to go home. If you want to come in or go the way we came in, if you just head up, there's a giant sinkhole that we created that you could maybe pop out of and escape that way. Well, how about this? I like the direction you're thinking, but what if we give Rosemary? Rosemary, there's someone in the room down this hallway

and they're very friendly and I think they might be able to help hide you until your compatriots have left the area and you can go independent. Okay, that sounds good. Okay. Wait, who is it? It's not Claudia, is it?

It is, Claudia. Oh, she met Claudia. Have you met Claudia? I can hear her talking. Yeah, well, you know, I get that you're... That's a lot. I'm going to agree with you. That's a lot. But she's a Goliath, and the Undarians are not going to be coming down here and mess around this.

They're also not going to want to spend time near her, so... And I think the other Gleyes don't want to spend any time near Claudia. So she's kind of a repellent, which is kind of what you need right now. That's true. But Claudia's allied with Belder. And Belder's bad. They're trying to eliminate the Undarians. Okay. Um, hmm. You know what? Do you know how to get to the Tropicaran Islands?

Hs... Go along with me? Uh, yes. It's, uh, it's due west. Okay, I have a sister there. Her name is Elva. She's so lovely, very good person. I think you could team up with Elva. Because she's also not like, part of the Undarmi, part of the Mortallium. She's kind of just like a wild free spirit, which sounds like a wild, like up your alley, dude. That sounds wonderful. Yeah, maybe, okay, so I, can I,

I'll give you her bird address, I don't know, so you can write her a letter and find her, but she should be in the top of Carni Islands. She looks like me, and I pull off of the Bjorn mask again. Check your prejudices. So maybe, maybe you can stay in touch with us. I wanna make sure that you get there safely, but I don't know what else to do for you, Razelberry.

Okay, no, that sounds great. Have you been in contact with us? with her? When was the last time you talked to her? What's the last thing she said? It was a while last time we talked to her. I think we were at Fort Indridge, which is where your army is going to attack, and she was in the Tropic Karen Islands. God, I hope you're not to spy. That will totally suck, Rosalberry. No, no, no. I'm not a spy. Maybe you said her word that I'm coming, and I'll head in that direction, and then you send a bird, and I'll send a bird, and your bird will verify my bird. Oh, yes. I do not like that.

This talk of birds. No, it's two-factor authentication here, Gunther. It's good. It's good. We like this. T. FAA stands for two-Falcan authentication. Taking inspiration die. That's good. Send them in. I'm going to, okay, I'm going to scan you. And then I draw a picture of Roselberry

so that I can send the letter to... It's just ASCII. Okay. So, yeah. I'll write that letter to Elva. and then we're at the first chance that we get of running into a bird. Maybe Claudia has birds. I don't know. Jeez. Okay. That's a good idea.

I'll sneak my way out past Leapy Z and make my way west. All right. Best of luck, traveler. Give this to Alva for me, and I give them a big hug. You seem like you need one. Thank you. And then while I have them in my arms, they pull off my mask when they're not looking. Stop it. Stop it. And they look back. It's just my naked Thumb attack face.

Okay. Okay, I'm getting used to it. It's a little better every time. Good, very good. See? Progress, Gunther. Okay, yeah, Rosalberry would begin trying to slowly sneak their way out in a southerly direction to leave the key. Godspeed, Rosalberry. He saluted.

Salute. All righty, time to mosey guys? Yeah, I guess we know now that they're going to have to Fort Endridge, so we should probably, uh, hustle and get word back to iron. What, no, not ironclad. That guy's a stinky dinky. Steel eye. Yeah, sorry, it's all the metal guys.

Mm-hmm. Yeah, and I fear if we're here for too long, those undarians who went looking for the frog, we're going to come back. Yeah. So what is, speaking of which, nice segue, Doug, what is the idea here? You're all going to stay in this room,

gonna go in a different direction. Whose team leader, by the way? I don't think I, I think I forgot. It's Doug. Is it Doug? Okay. I would think we would just go back out the way we came

and then instead of going through this door we would go towards the I guess the mine so you want to go back down the stairs to where Claudia was and then north up into the mine yeah and Tov is going to give us the knock

Okay here it goes Do do do do do do do Do do Do it go Nothing happens Claudia It's us Open the door, we knocked.

Oh, you see, I thought that might be you guys, but it wasn't the knock that we agreed on. So how do I really know it's you guys if it's not the knock that you said you were going to knock? Because if anybody could just knock a knock... I said, I was going to give you flavor! But then we said, you know, we agreed on a specific knock, and then you're not doing the knock.

So then I was like, when me, it's not there. Okay, here you go. Knock, knock. Okay, the door slides open. All right, Toll, feel free to continue your song if you want to continue playing or something like that. Yeah. Just to be clear, as soon as the door opens,

Natty B-Rows to the mind cart. And it's like, and is holding Giggy and dragging Captain Grumbles behind her. Like covering your face as you're walking by kind of thing, yeah. Holding Giggy up over her face so she can't see and then just, and just holding Captain Grumble's hand and heading to the mind cart. You caught her on a bad day. She's on her way somewhere. Yeah, that song that Toll was playing, Doug, now that's just stuck in your head.

You cannot get it out. Like, it's difficult to concentrate on anything else. I can't feel it. I mean, it's no Madonna, but it's pretty catchy. It's, yeah, it's going to be difficult to think about anything else for a little while. It's all Phil Collins all the time in Doug Boone's head. Do you remember? What happened?

Did he smell something? Or was there something that caused that? It's the meat grinder table. Stuff happens every time you all change rooms. So this one is mental stressor. Song stuck in head. It's like, oh, well, this is perfect because you just did that. I once saw the most brutal thing on the internet where someone said Phil Collins's music sounds like how a burp smells.

I don't agree with that at all. I love Phil Collins, but... I understand the line of thinking. I disagree. Yeah, no, it's... Phil Collins is amazing. Yeah. He brought us the Tarzan soundtrack, thank you.

Absolutely. So, Natty, you make a B-line to that northern edge, right? Yes, please. Yeah, it's frigid, muddy water. that floods the northern half of the room and this water has a brownish red tint to it and like we said before there's a well you all bought a mine cart so you can

take a mine cart to the north through this partially submerged corridor gnatty puts her mask on as well in preparation so does Doug because Gagher will too and Gigi turns into a aquatic creature he could do that

yeah Captain Grumbles you do your thing Captain Grubbles doesn't have to breathe oh right What is swearing underwater sound like? Yeah, so you all continue north past Claudia to the room that's a little further to the north. And in here, you enter this room and you see it is a circular mine shaft. And there's hissing steam and a low ceiling. It's almost like it's small folk size.

So it's pretty cramped. Is it Goliath's mine? It's a mine? The Goliaths are here. Who knows? Well, they said they owned it. That's what I'm going off of. I mean, they might just run it, but not actually go down in there.

To the west, you see a caved-in corridor and a separate pile of rocks nearby, and a central steam-powered elevator that seems to spiral. All forge a head? Yeah. I see what you did. Wait, steam-powered elevator going down? I assume you go up and take a look at it, too. Sure.

Yeah. You take a look at it, and it seems to be a spiraling elevator, a spiral veer. A spiral vater, if you will. I will not, thank you. Spiral evader. It seems to be like it's powered by natural steam, and there's a silk-like parachute material. It holds about two people at a time,

and it looks like it goes up and down. What's the strength modifier needed to ride the lift? The DC. How many gold coins are you going to spend riding this thing? Help me visualize this room, Gus. So we went north to where they... there's tracks that are mine cars on. Yes?

Yeah. Yeah. And then this led to another room we're in that has an elevator, and then there's a room to the west. Spiral elevator. There's a, I'm not going to say that. Spiral elevator. Spiral evader.

Spiral evader. And so does the track, do the tracks end here, or do they go further? They head all the way up here to the spiral evader, and it seems like, yeah, it seems like they come to an end here at the spot. elevator. That's all we paid for? All right, hop off. It looks like the rail is unfinished, like it's still being added on to.

All right. So I got a mine car. That's like buying a vehicle for the highway that has like a kilometer done. Yeah, pretty much. Pretty cool, right? I want my 16 gold bag. Okay.

And then there was a, there said there's another room with like rubble to the west of us. There's a caved-in corridor to the west. Okay, caved in. So does the spiral vader go up, you said? It was like the steam and the parachute. Up and down, yeah.

Okay, theoretically, would that be roughly the same geographic area that the lavish hall, dining hall, leading to, like, where we sent those Zundarians off to, would it kind of, like, do you think, cross paths with that area? Because that might be where the Wilder Shield and Bunlap are. You think it would, based on the layout, it would probably be close. but maybe not exactly lined up. So you wanna go up and not down further? I'm talking to Talov.

I mean, in the very least, we might be able to get the jump on those Jundarians that we sent in. I do feel like we need to find Bumlap in the Wilder Shield. Because otherwise, I don't know what else is in this mine. Like, where else? There is also another corridor to the east out of this room. That's another exit.

I forgot to mention her. That just complicates things. I mean, I feel like if we're in a mine, we should go down. That would be my first thought. See what's down there. I guess to me I do not need anything that is in a mine everything I would want is in the opposite of the mine The bun lap and the wildrovaled tail I mean we got these snorkel masks and you know I kind of want to test it out uh group vote or do we want to let the team leader make the call you are a leader

we'll just take a peek down there let's use this uh spiral evader and then if we don't see anything we could uh maybe take the corridor to the east or go up I mean, to be clear, you have no idea where Bunlap is. He is up there. For all you know, no, you don't know if he's up there. He could have gone all kinds of directions. We just know that he fought some people at some point in the up. We don't know if it's Bunlap. He could be down in the mind further.

It could be some other sexy, sexy frog man. I was hoping someone would say it. I didn't want to burst Chris's illusion here. It's like he was really stuck on going up. And I was like, I don't know. You have no idea where he is. I thought, okay, maybe I'm wrong. I'm misheard.

All four of you make me a perception check. Okay. Conception. 19. 11. 8. 1. That's a 2 though.

Last 2 plus 1. Equals 2. What was yours? Natty, you had a good one. 19. 19. Okay. While Doug is talking about the spiral evader and, you know, the prospect of going down, that must draw your eyes to it and to the lower level. And as you're looking down near the spiral evader,

you see something in the water. Oh, a mermaid? A mine made. Mermine. You see a corpse of one of those Undarians that you had seen previously in the banquet hall. Oh, it's not Roslbury, is it? No, it's not.

And it's skewered by a lance, and you can see the broken tip of the lance inside the corpse. And the tip of this lats catches your eye because it's unusual. It's made from a bird beak. What? Well, there you go right there.

I think this is a calling card of a people that probably vanquished birds and then use them as materials for weapons. Did, uh, Gunther, did you and your people used to do that? Or did Bunlap used to do that at all? Do you remember? I will say this. Bunlap, his name. His last name, not his actual name.

Bunlap, Bigbane? Beekbane. Beekbane. Beak pain. What's his theory? This guy just keeps getting cooler and cooler, by the way. I just got to say. So I could see him using the beak of our enemy with his sword. Is that typically his calling card? His calling card is winning.

That's so cool. This guy's legendary. He seems to be winning. He was cute Charlie Sheen from 2009. He's got Tiger's blood. Is there anything else in the water or any other? paths to take. Make me an investigation check, 12. You got it. This is going to be a winner here. That's a 13.

Not bad. Sorry, I was just getting ready to fail. Yeah, you see shiny rocks in the water. Shiny rock? Shiny rocks. I just, I feel like that's a trap. I don't know. Is there any way I can fish those out? Diggie goes for the shiny rocks. Okay. Oh, there they are. There goes.

Diggie picks up one of the shiny rocks and it's a gold nugget. Oh. Oh. Pocketage. Don't show that one guy. Don't show Z. Gigi looks at you, Doug, and he gives you a nod, and then he swallows it. Well, I mean, that, I guess technically works. It'll come out, solid all the way out,

so we'll get it one way or another. Giggy, if you find more shiny rocks, just go ahead and eat them up. Gigi gives you a big thumbs up. We're going to regret that. That's important. Could I go investigate the dead and Darian? Yeah, it looks very similar.

You did not see the other ones in the banquet hall, Doug, but you did see Rosalbury. This looks like a more, like a stronger version of Roselberry, like a warrior of some kind of fighter. I was just going to see if I could like take the spear and take a look at it and maybe bring it over to Gunther. Yeah, the lance is broken. So, you know, it's like a broken shaft and the tip, which is this long bird beak, which you're able to dislodge from Moon Darien. And you can show it to Gunther if you want. Is it possible to tell what type of bird it came from and what region that might have existed in?

Make a, is there nature? Make a nature, yeah, make a nature check. And do I recognize it? I'm going to use a flash of genius. It was a nine, but I'm going to give it a plus four to make it a 13. Okay. Yeah, you look at it and Gunther also takes a look at it. And it seems like it's some kind of large bird from the desert,

a very desert region. Oh, Gunther, you might know the name of it. What was the name of this kind of bird? Oh, the goggles. The goggles. Bless you. The goggles, bird. They gather in goggles and then they, oh.

Yeah. A gaggle of goggles. Gaggall. Golg. Golg. G-A-L-G-U-O. You sure? Gaggle.

Gaggle. I can do something to help. Do you want to talk to him? Oh, you talk with a dead, right? Well, Gus, I was reading, animate the dead. And there's an interesting paragraph in it that I never noticed. And animate the dead is about animating them

and then maintaining control over them. And you reuse the spell to maintain control. I get to use the spell again if I use a long rest. But until that control is not maintained, I can cast it again to animate more dead and I can control up to four dead creatures. Really? Yes.

The creatures under control for 24 hours after which it stops obeying any command you've given. To maintain control of the creature for another 24 hours, you must cast the spell on the creature again before the current 24-hour period ends. And then this use of the spell, reasserts your control over up to four creatures you have animated with the spell, rather than animating... Yeah. I think that's assuming you cast it at a higher level. Oh.

What you can do is do a reset right now, reassure. your control over Captain Grumbles right now and add this creature on as well. Sure. If you promise me, don't make this another NPC. No, no, no. No, this is not, this is a... This is Hellboy just talking to a dead person

in the graveyard to get information. Yeah. Are you about to factory reset Captain Grubbles? No, no, no, no. He goes through this every day. He's used to it. Him and I, we just have a little moment where we re-up our relationship.

He goes through his severance. Yeah, yeah. We just kind of, we just kind of, we just kind of reassert each other and that we, you know, we like each other. Just one of us is using necromancy to do it. To enslave the other, yes. I like you, do you like me? Circle yes or no. Okay, so then I cast animate dead on this guy.

Natty, your eyes cloud with an otherworldly darkness. What little light was in the cavern is immediately distinguished. As you conjure necromanic energies from the realm of the dead, the veins in your gesticulating fingers pulse with an unnatural purple glow. The corpse's fingers mimic your own, cracking and sprinkling to life, like desiccated worms writhing in the dirt. The cadaver suddenly slams its fists to the ground, releasing a cloud of steam all around as it hobbles to its moving feet. Its horned head wafts through the mists and stares with narrowed, unblinking eyes locked on Gunther. You cannot kill Kleina so easily, croak-folk.

I will have my revenge. Without warning, the undead Undarian charges, horns first straight for Gunther. Just choking, Gunther. Oh, cleverl. Hey, guys, it worked. Find out what happens and how effective that is on the next episode of Tales from the Steaky Dragon. You're welcome.

I don't know. Friend. You might have to reanimate Gunther out here. He can have up to four, so yeah, he can still be in here. That's Nunther is my name. Just fast forward to the end of this campaign. And just Natty has all of you guys. just as zombies falling around.

That's how we get Nuthar for real, his brother. Thanks for listening, everybody. We'll be back next time with another episode. Find out what happens to Klinea. Will Kline get their revenge on Gunther and the Krokefolk? We'll see. Don't miss the extra content on our Stinky Dragon YouTube channel and Instagram account. Not only do we share the grand tales of our podcast,

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from the Stinky Dragon. frog is back. It's right up, it's right up that corridor. Let's go get him. Which frog? Not talking to you. Talking to the entire. Oh. God, which frog were you talking about? Like there's a frog? That's not me? Doug just comes to the door.