Tales from the Stinky Dragon - C03 - Ep. 46 - Under Oondar Fire - Smoke and Chimirroras

Episode Date: June 24, 2026

Brutaliteam confronts a slain Oondarian for more information about Bunlap. Support us directly on Patreon https://www.patreon.com/stinkydragon - get access to ad-free episodes, bonus content like ...Stinky Dragon Adventures & Second Wind, our patreon-exclusive discord, and more! Check out our new merch at store.stinkydragonpod.com - Dice, Player Character Tees, Blankets, Hoodies, and more! Follow us on our socials at https://linktr.ee/TalesFromTheStinkyDragon Cast: Gus Sorola, Blaine Gibson, Barbara Dunkelman, Jon Risinger, Chris Demarais Writer/Editor/Composer: Micah Risinger Producer: Benjamin Ernst Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Hey, I'm Mike Barronholz. On my new show, Funny You Ask, trivia starts the conversation, and then things immediately go off the rails. I ask a question. My guests think they know the answer. Sometimes they do. More often, they do not.
Starting point is 00:00:14 And then the conversation takes a turn. One trivia question turns into stories about career highs, painful bombs, and behind-the-scenes moments that probably should have remained private. You'll hear confidence, misplaced confidence, bold guesses, wrong answers, quick laughs,
Starting point is 00:00:30 Slow realization that maybe this was a bad idea to say out loud. If you like smart comedy, sharp conversations, and trivia that exists purely to melt people's brains, this is Funny You Ask with me, Ike Barrenholz. Follow Funny You Ask with Ike Barronholtz on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Do you remember that feeling of your first critical hit? Are you one of those people who are getting ready to start that journey? Well, I have a show for you. It's called Girls Who Don't D&D because none of this all-female team of players has ever joined a D&D game before,
Starting point is 00:01:01 or any other role-playing game. They go from learning, which dice is what, to challenging the gods themselves. They're surrounded by a beautiful, chaotic environment has been described as a cross between Terry Pratchett's Discworld and Douglas Adams' Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy and to World You Can Be Part of Two. That's because their listeners perform pre-recorded sections
Starting point is 00:01:17 that fit into each show. Those parts and the rest of the show sound amazing with carefully added music and effects that bring a touch of the cinematic to your experience. It's kind of cool how they're complete amateurs when they started and they really progress. I think you can probably, you know, we can relate to that with Tales on a Steal
Starting point is 00:01:31 Thank you Dragon starting off kind of as newbies and then really learning the game as we go. I think that's a great way to approach it. And you can join this group of unassuming Australians, otherwise known as the girls who don't D&D on any device that lets you stream podcasts. But I'm warning you, this one's addictive, heartwarming, heartbreaking, and very, very funny. What happens when two people who grew up in a very strange corner of Los Angeles look back and realize just how bizarre their upbringings really were? They start a podcast, of course.
Starting point is 00:01:58 I'm Ashley Johnson. And I'm Talis and Jaffe. Before we became the internet people we are today, we spent our childhoods as working actors, appearing in shows like growing pains and films like Mr. Mom. In our podcast, Weird Kids, we're diving deep into our unique upbringings, our friendship with each other, and all the delightfully odd interests we still carry with us today. In each episode, we get to share stories of our youth, the things that bring us joy, the problems that we face, and occasionally the friends we've collected along the way.
Starting point is 00:02:27 If you're a misfit, an outcast, or just a weirdo who loves all things nostalgic and unconventional, come take a seat at our table. Each week, we'll be releasing previously members-only episodes on YouTube and all major podcast platforms, with new episodes dropping exclusively and ad-free on beacon.tv. Long time no see, all you lamb bitten dregs. Chase your pledged prey into the stinky dragon and imbibe our latest brew. Sick in the mud. It's a mixture of altered apple, octaer. green orange, water wave of contamination, delirium drug tea, pockmarked pepper, and topped with
Starting point is 00:03:25 ill-expelled juices from the nearest sickly sufferer. One ingestion of this infected icker, and you'll be glowing, glowing, spawn. Previously, our adventures came upon conversational Claudia while clambering through chimera keep. They undercut some mundarians, got the goss from Goliath gold chasers, and uncovered croak folk clues connected to Bunlap's business. Now, Nuddy has necromanced the non-living for nuggets of wisdom. Grab a gun Guesler and let's get back to this Cassie Goss. Hello everyone, welcome to Tales with the Stinky Dragon, and I'm your Dungeon Master Gustavo Sorolla,
Starting point is 00:04:12 and I'm going to hit R4 players with an arrow. Do it, coward, do it. Take the shot. I'm starting to enjoy the arrow, actually. It's a little wake up. Acupuncture. Could you direct all of your arrows at Just Toll? Oh, make me... Wait, what's your armor class, Toll?
Starting point is 00:04:30 No, this episode's arrow question is, what would you wear to Natty's wedding? Oh, and that's from Smarsh equals king. Smarsh does equal king. Very good name. That's some solid math there. Ooh, four, 11, 10, 17. So we're going to go, Doug was 17, Gunther with 11,
Starting point is 00:04:52 Natty with 10, then 12 with 4. Doug, why don't you lead us off? What would you wear to Natty's wedding? What would I wear to Natty's wedding? That's a great question. Barbara would wear white. No, I'm just kidding. just to really take the spotlight.
Starting point is 00:05:08 I'm Barbara Donkomen and I play Doug Boone, the artist is your bug bear. And, you know, in thinking about Natty's wedding, you know, Natty is marrying death, right? That's her wife. And so Doug was thinking about, well, when Doug meets death, what does Doug want to be wearing? So it's less about the wedding
Starting point is 00:05:26 and more about, you know, the relationship and the people involved. And so Doug's going to be brave. and Doug's going to go in his birthday suit. My God. Wow. Yeah. Just full, like natural bug bear.
Starting point is 00:05:42 Because when Doug, you know, crosses over to, you know, the other side, death, whatever it may be, he doesn't want to be in his normal clothes. He wants to just be unnatural. Wow. Go out coming in the same way he came in. Exactly. Yeah. That's a, that's brave. I've never, I've never thought about either attending either a wedding or dying fully.
Starting point is 00:06:02 At the same time. It would be quite a funeral. Yeah, it would be. Although, if it's okay, I might just wear just a simple bowtie. Okay, classy. And nothing else. What color? Doug is also the entertainment for the bachelor party.
Starting point is 00:06:19 Yeah, the bachelor bachelor party. Oh, I heard there's some betrothed ladies in here. Woo, Doug Boot. Oh, of course, there are classic black folks. tie guys, of course. Is that a gambot in your pocket? Oh, I forgot about Gambat, boy you? Well, Gambat's always in the nude.
Starting point is 00:06:41 Yeah, that's true, but I just don't know where I would keep them. In the bowtie. All right, surprising answer to lead us off from Doug. Thank you, Doug. Up next, you got Gunther. Yeah, it is a very formal occasion. And so, of course, I would wear my... Introduce yourself.
Starting point is 00:06:58 I would start with the top... Oh, yeah, I'm Chris, Demarest. Stranger. As I play a crook folk fighter named Gunther. Yes, I would just start to off with, I would, of course, wear my, my hat. Oh. That we all know and love. Oh, the bicorn hat.
Starting point is 00:07:16 Yes, I would wear that. The one that I can see your screen chaining so you can look it up. Eel skin. Eel skin. The flash of white. Yeah, we can see just a flash of light as you were like, you had, like, I need to tell you this, Chris. I don't know if you realize this. your eyes change focus
Starting point is 00:07:33 and how they look when you are looking at your screens and not at us. So we can tell when you're doing that and not like just talking to us. That's even worse. We hate that even more. Yeah, because when Chris is looking at us,
Starting point is 00:07:47 his eyes light up, of course. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. There's a joy. So your hat? Yes, it's in my heart. And then, of course, poniore. She is very good at making clothing
Starting point is 00:07:58 and she has made me a very full. Normal suit. It looks very good. We do not wear ties. Oh, why not? We just do not. This is not what we do. But we do wear, we do where, they look like a scarf, but that hangs down.
Starting point is 00:08:18 It kind of symbolizes a tongue. They are red. Okay. So it is like a tie, but more like a scarf. Like Green Ninja? Yes. And then. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:08:28 And then I, of course, for, it. Formal occasions, you do not wear shoes. But for not formal occasions, you do wear shoes. It depends on if I'm needing to walk on things that are hard. You don't have shoes on right now. That's what I'm saying. Arrows are very formal in his culture. I say that as in just so you know, I'm not going to wear shoes.
Starting point is 00:08:51 I hope it's okay. It's okay. I'm not wearing anything. So, yeah. Except shoes. And a bow tie. There's something really funny about like shoes with socks that go up high Yeah
Starting point is 00:09:05 And then a bow tie and nothing else I feel like I'm having flashbacks to the boots you wore Chris Back when we were at Richard Tweet there were these white like knee high Yes Like water boot or like rain boots or something like that They were like fashionable women's boots Fashionable in quotes All the time
Starting point is 00:09:25 Yeah it's a it's like that Reno 9-1 once get the The new boot goofing. Yeah. Scootin. Scootin. Scootin. Scootin. Scootin.
Starting point is 00:09:32 New boot scooting. Okay. Thanks, Gunther. Up next, I think it was Natty. It might have been goofing. Now I'm second guessing the joke. I thought it was goofing. I think it is goofing.
Starting point is 00:09:42 I think I've, I've, Bernstein, bared myself. Hi, I'm John Reisinger, and I play Natty Wonder, who is the drow, warlock, drag queen, and lady who we're all talking about her special day. Do do do do do. That's the wedding. Continue on.
Starting point is 00:10:02 I'm sorry. And I know there's like the traditional kind of understanding of what a wedding dress should be. But I think anybody who has spent a lick of time with me knows that, you know, traditional went out the window years and years ago. And so I have already commissioned my wedding dress, not complete yet. It's going to take a bit. And the wedding dress is top to bottom from the veil to my shoes, denim. And the veil to the toenail.
Starting point is 00:10:39 Veil to the toenail, denim. And it's not just like plain old denim. It's all bedazzled and rhinestoneed denim. So much so that in certain parts of it, as I move around, I'm sure it's going to blind some people, which I think is fantastic. Question for Natty. How do you see through a denim veil?
Starting point is 00:11:03 You know, you know when you have like old denim pants that like have like worn out areas? Oh yeah. That's what it is. I thought you were going to say like just like the fibers or something like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. A little bit like this fella I love Orville Peck. I'm going to have a little something like that, a little dangly mass. Is it like a like a, like match?
Starting point is 00:11:24 like matching denim or kind of like mixed washes? I think it's going to come out to be a little bit mixed washes so there's some little break in the tonal value across it, you know, and also all... Barber is inspired. All the rhinestones and everything like that. So it's, I think it's going to be quite the statement. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:11:45 Hey, if Kristen is still looking for a wedding dress, I think we just found. I'm writing ideas, yeah, I know. Yeah, a wedding in the summer of Austin wearing all denim. Yeah. She won't die. Anytime in Austin, really. Oh, the, that's, I've never seen that before, Natty, and now I kind of want to see it. All right. Thanks for that. Everyone so far, really interesting choices.
Starting point is 00:12:08 To hold if you're up next, I'm curious to see how you're going to put a cap on this. Yeah. Hey, it's me, Blaine Gibson, and hold on, let me look something up. Just the brightest flash on your face. This is an audio-only feedback. What did you do to make that happen? I turned on my lights, my ligato lights. Oh, you have like performance lights.
Starting point is 00:12:31 Okay. Yeah. Because I was like, you reached for something. There was a light ready to blind you. I'm also going to look for something. Hold on. That's a goof just for you guys. That's a goof just for you guys.
Starting point is 00:12:41 Hello, I'm Blaine Gibson. I played Ptollve. The male Thomateg Barbarian. Uh-huh. Oh, a wedding. How exciting. Wee! Oh, I don't know where to start.
Starting point is 00:12:52 I definitely want to wear a car. Cumberbond and a suit, but I think it's important, you know, I need to show up in a way that people will recognize me and I don't want to be too shiny, so I have to hide away my Thermotech skin, even though I will have it polished for the big day, but I'm also going to make sure that I dry clean my Bjorn skin. I don't know what the results of dry cleaning formerly living flesh would be. maybe it will give it a nice leather polish or it will make it fall apart
Starting point is 00:13:27 and I'll look like a zombie sitting in the crowd next to Captain Grumbles, who knows? But very exciting. Hopefully I am a like some sort of like flower girl boy. I don't know. Whatever you need. Wedding planner.
Starting point is 00:13:41 Flower robot. DJ. It could be a photo booth if you want. Whatever. You're all the tech needs of the wedding. Yeah. Before you. started talking about the whole skin edition.
Starting point is 00:13:54 The immediate image I had in my head was Bicentennial Man at the wedding in that movie where he was wearing a full suit over his robot body. That's the Robin Williams one, right? Yeah. Okay, okay. I need to watch that. Is it worth a watch?
Starting point is 00:14:09 I think so. It depends on who you're talking to, and if you're talking to Barbara or me, it's a resounding yes. Great. All right. And Mike is in chat, yes. Okay, okay. But other people might disagree,
Starting point is 00:14:19 but I think they need more whimsy in their life. I agree. And that's why they're here, listening to Tales from the Steaky Dragons. It's true, it's true. Take it away. A whimsical tale. Natty, your eyes cloud with an otherworldly darkness. What little light was in the cavern is immediately extinguished.
Starting point is 00:14:38 As you conjure necromanic energies from the realm of the dead, the veins in your gesticulating fingers pulse with an unnatural purple glow. The corpse's fingers mimic your own, cracking and sprinkling to light, like desiccated worms writhing in the world. The cadaver suddenly slams its fists to the ground, releasing a cloud of steam all around as it hobbles to its moving feet. Its horned head wafts through the mists and stares with narrowed, unblinking eyes locked on Gunther. You cannot kill Kleina so easily, Crokefolk. I will have my revenge.
Starting point is 00:15:10 Without warning, the undead Undarian charges, horns first straight for Gunther. Clina turns the corner and sees a croak folk field dressing a recently slaying gildilics, assumedly for food. Vettorius lowers his head of horns and attempts to gore the amphibian, but at the last second, the fair-faced frog moves high into a backflip behind Clyna. The Undarion's momentum sends his horns forward, piercing the spiral vader with a loud bang! And the croak-folk unleashes his tongue, grappled the lever in the lift, and the whole contraption lowers rapidly, hitting Kleina and his horns to the ground. Wham!
Starting point is 00:15:46 The croak-folk arms himself with a beak-tip lance and asks, Where has the chimera run off to? I don't answer to you, Bortface. Then why are you bowing before me, Undarion? Klinea swings his catalanx at the frog's legs, but the Krokochkberg carries it with panache. The catalan flies into a nearby wall. Ding!
Starting point is 00:16:05 You fight with cowardice, Unardian. Come face me another day when you have found your honor. The Krokefolk turns to leave the cavern, and Kleinen thieves the Spiral Vader off his head and charges the frog in rage. Blood spills on the ground. Klinea looks down at their gut impaled by the frog's lap. The beak tip breaks off as notorious tumbles to the stained floor.
Starting point is 00:16:28 Blackness closes in and consumes Kleina's vision. I should be taking nose. I was really good. So it was stealth defense on the Kroke folks' behalf, you know. Have we learned what a guildelix is? You probably don't know what it is. It's got, it's a creature with like a wolverine body and a mane of pine green hair with a long tongue.
Starting point is 00:16:48 A voice echoes deep within Kina's soul. I would welcome you to the coil, but it seems you are not. It seems you are needed elsewhere. Say hi to my wife. And with a crack, Klinah's eye snap back open. His gaze burns with blood-boiling fury
Starting point is 00:17:02 as he sees the Kroke-folk standing before him. You cannot kill Klinah so easily, Kroke-folk. I will have my revenge. What? So he was dead and we reanimated him. So he, or I guess came back to life?
Starting point is 00:17:17 Oh, hello. My name is God. He charged. his horns forward ready to pierce the frog. Straight at you, Gunther, hitting AC. No. My AC right now is eight. Well, bad news, Gunther, because I just saw that roll.
Starting point is 00:17:37 Yeah. What is it? It didn't pop up on my... It's a net 20. It's a net 20. Is it? Do your work. Okay, yeah, the attack hits you,
Starting point is 00:17:49 charges right through you, doing 16 points of bludgeoning down. And it knocks you back into the wall behind you, Gunther, because it's such strong force. You take an additional eight points of bloods of bloods from colliding with the wall. Notorious looks around with fury and anger in its eyes. Hi, I'm Natty. And I need you stop doing that, okay? Oh right, you can command it, right? Yeah, yeah, that's my buddy.
Starting point is 00:18:19 That's my, that's my buddy, my new buddy fighting my, my, my, my, my, my old. old buddy and I need my buddies to be buddies, okay? I thought you were telling Gunther to stop bleeding to death and moaning. Stop dying. Yeah, like, stop at. Stop dying. Keep it together, Gunther. You're okay. I like to think Natty was maybe doing a two-for-one when she said that. Okay, so I guess it's compelled, it's compelled to listen to you. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Just like anybody who has a taste of Nattie's charisma. What's, I don't know what to call you. Do you have a real name?
Starting point is 00:18:53 Kleina. Kleina. Kleina. Okay, well, Kleina. What's you doing here? Why are you here? Searching for the Wilder Shield. Okay.
Starting point is 00:19:06 Yeah, that makes sense. So your party or whatever, like, group, you're part of your troop, they hadn't located it quite yet, but are on the hunt. Remind me, why do you guys want it? I know why this dude over here who's bleeding out wants it, but I, why do you guys? The wound army has been summoned here by Infernes because she desires the Wilder Shield. Okay, okay. Yeah, she's quite a collector. Where are you looking for it? I like the pain delivery there.
Starting point is 00:19:41 We have a map if you want to point. See where you can tell us. We are scouring the keep. I was searching the lower levels of the mine. Okay. Is it definitely in here? Is that what you were told? Somewhere in the keep. Oh, good to know. All right.
Starting point is 00:19:58 Well, how many y'all are around here still? Because we, have we, what other Andarians? We, we had the three in that room. Yeah, this is the same kind of creature as those three that were in that room. Oh, but it isn't. This one was in that room, right? Yeah, because we got the one that was let go the previous episode. The grunt.
Starting point is 00:20:17 Razzleberry. Roselberry, yeah. I guess that's four. This is a new one. Yeah, this is a different one. This is not the same as what we're up in there. 79. Oh, God, bad, drag.
Starting point is 00:20:28 That's a good crew. Is that including you because now... It'll make a big difference. Oh, is it around 80? Was it around 80 before they, you know, you get killed? Math. Do math. Ballpark figures are fine.
Starting point is 00:20:43 Ballpark figures are fine. When it's numbers that high, we don't need to know. We have enough to play ball. Wait, I'm dead? It doesn't change much. if you say it's 81. I like, okay, that's a lot. Wait, I was killed?
Starting point is 00:20:54 No, no, no, no, you're fine. You're fine. I have a quick question. It's not for, uh, Klein, uh, cover ears, cover ears. Natty, if you can bring back dead people, right, Klein, uh, Captain Grumbles, Klein is over here yappity yapping. Why haven't we heard a peep from Captain Grumbles?
Starting point is 00:21:12 All he goes is, blah, uh, he can, Captain Grumbles, can you talk? Uh, are you choosing to do that? Can you, have you actually been able to, talk and understand this entire time? You know, I think I'm understanding him, actually. He just said, Oh, he just said, I am Groot. In combat, when you all were fighting Captain Grumbles,
Starting point is 00:21:33 someone hit him in the neck and destroyed his voice box. His larynx. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Recton. But not his ability to swear. It's intent. That's from the sheet. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:21:46 That was coughing at blood. Yuck. The, uh, you say, you, uh, uh, uh, faced, uh, someone who looks like me, but like more handsome. Um, where, do you know where they left off to? Did you see where they went after they definitely didn't kill you? Oh yeah, he was way more handsome. You look like garbage. I know exactly what you're mean, what you mean and who you're talking about.
Starting point is 00:22:15 He was here. He was right there And he points to by the Spiral Vader Where did he go? I'll pour down You got a 50-50 shot on this one, Klinea. Yeah, he don't know He got this curtain call
Starting point is 00:22:30 Before Bunlap made his exit Yeah, I think it happened right on this level That we're on right now Where did he go? He's looking around now We don't know, listen Listen, listen, I'm gonna be Reven
Starting point is 00:22:44 Nope, I'm gonna be No, please don't No. I'm gonna be straight up with you, okay? We're kind of full up on party members for us. And I've got a reservation to take care of this guy over here. And I point to Captain Grumbles. But don't worry, you're going to be in good hands, okay?
Starting point is 00:23:07 You might have already met my wife. She's a lovely gal, takes care of her people. and so, you know, this is going to be a short visit. I'm just giving you time to process that. Okay. We haven't even had. We only just met.
Starting point is 00:23:24 Before you go there, Kleiner, are there any, like, cool secret pass codes or anything where if we were to encounter your friends, you know, they'll know we're cool. Because, Klein, we're cool, you know, so, like, do you guys have, like, a, you know, a thing? Like a secret handshake or, like, a... Yeah. Passwords.
Starting point is 00:23:44 Roll me a check of some kind, Blaine. Roll me, roll me, we're going to see, we're going to call this a luck check, which doesn't technically exist. So roll me a D20. A D20. Hot-tah-ta-ba. Well.
Starting point is 00:24:06 Do you want my inspiration? What is it? It didn't show up on our screen. I think this needs to be based, this needs to be based off of Blaine's luck. How did your luck turn out, Blaine? What an unlucky day? That's a one. He's number one.
Starting point is 00:24:20 Yeah. All right, go ahead. Tell me what, give me something good. Barbara, I appreciate it, but yeah, we'll let it ride. I don't want to take yours. Or do I? I don't know. Yes, here. And Kleina puts his head down and gives you a nasty headbutt.
Starting point is 00:24:36 I mean, just like full force, straight on, right on, what would be your nose, but you're a thaumatic. Uh-huh. As Doug sees this, he's writing it down in his head butt. And it causes one point of bludgeon damage. Okay. Oh, okay. So it's something like this, and I headbut him back. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:24:59 I was hoping you would just die. He falls, he says that and then falls to the ground unmoving. Wait. Oh. Well, I think we've gleaned all the information we need to from him, right, Gunter? You have what you need. I guess. It better be because I can't do that again.
Starting point is 00:25:19 I got to take quite the rest for that to happen again. Then yes. Guntar give him out to mouth. He's he can bring him back. I promise you. I think it's good to know that the Bunlap is clearly here and he's looking for the wielder's shield, which also is somewhere here.
Starting point is 00:25:34 So I don't know. Maybe we could try to get to it first or try to meet back up with Bunlap. Well, I feel like if I get to it first, and that might not be... I need to get to Bunlap first and then go with Bunlap because I do not want to
Starting point is 00:25:47 anger my deity. Yeah, that's probably you're for the best. Well, spoiler alert you already have. There's 79 Naurians and we know that they went down the spiral elevator. No, we don't. No, we don't.
Starting point is 00:26:05 We went up or down the spiral of the air air air. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. So we don't know, so don't say facts that are facts. This group really runs with, those. Are you one of those media strategy people clicking through slides, scrolling spreadsheets? Yes? Good. This is for you.
Starting point is 00:26:27 Because on Spotify, there's an audience that's different, locked in, loyal, invested. They're called fans. Fans don't just listen to music. They feel seen by it like it belongs to them. So when your brand shows up on Spotify, that's who you're talking to. And you're right next to artists like me, Lizzo.
Starting point is 00:26:45 So, are you ready to talk to fans? Fans? Spotify advertising. You're among fans. Hey, I'm Arne Neacam from the fully improvised comedy podcast. Hello from the Magic Tavern. I'm here with my co-hosts, John the Talking Badger, Bing Bong, and Usenor the Wizard. I greet the listeners. Look, I'm trapped in the magical land of food. So I started a podcast, interviewing elves, unicorns, and other weirdos. We have great guests like Felicia Day, Jason Manzukas, Brennan Lee Mulligan, Amy Mann, and so anymore. Oh, and I think one time we interviewed a sentient shoe? I hope it was
Starting point is 00:27:20 sentient. Not to mention the evil people we've had to interview. How I hate evil. Join us as we bar crawl across the magical land of foon. Looking for adventure. Getting caught up in escapades. Hello from the Magic Tavern is available right now on your
Starting point is 00:27:36 favorite podcast app. And add free and with lots of bonus content on Patreon. Subscribe to Hello from the Magic Tavern today. Dumb Dums and Dice would like to invite you to listen to Agents of the Inquisition, a Warhammer 40K RPG podcast. Interrogator Morgan Rawls is hauled out of prison and assigned a team of hand-picked operatives to save the Imperium. Will she become a true agent of the Inquisition? Or will her team
Starting point is 00:28:07 fall to chaos? Spotify called Agents of the Inquisition an instant hit in 2025. Follow and listen to Agents of the Inquisition wherever podcasts can be found. The Emperor commands it. Can I do a check, like a survival check to check for, uh, unlapse footprints and any, any smells or anything that might guide us as to where he went exactly and maybe. You can make a survival check. If while you're making that check, I just want to remind everyone, I think we talked about it already, but just to be safe about the ways in and out of this room. Oh, that's an out point, 24.
Starting point is 00:28:50 Thank you. You all came in from the southern end of this room. And then from this room, you can go, there's a corridor to the west, which is caved in, a corridor to the east and the spiral evader which goes either up or down just so everyone got it in their head so 24 yeah you
Starting point is 00:29:09 you know it's this is not I'm gonna be honest with you Chris I probably wasn't gonna give you anything here because this is a very difficult room to track in with the water and you know the combat that happened and everything going on but you know with a role that good you are able to discern that it appears
Starting point is 00:29:24 that Bundlap steps go to the spiral evader now based on his footprints, is he, is this a formal event or a non-formal event? By that, I mean, is he wearing shoes or not? Very formal. No shoes got it. Okay, I don't take any clothes off. Okay, go. His grippers are out. Oh, no.
Starting point is 00:29:44 Is this part, it can go up or down? Correct. And there's no way to discern. Is there a way to discern where, which direction the elevator went most recently? I mean, we could just choose a direction and then explore that. And if that's not it, then go down.
Starting point is 00:30:01 You could ask the Wilderflower. Oh. You want you have a little conversation? All right, guys. How about we leave it up to chance? How about this? I'll help. I can help.
Starting point is 00:30:11 I can help. And Nat and Natty has as hell. What? Are you going to revive this guy again? No. Gunther's like, I can't take another one. Let me take a quick long rest here. Yeah, let's do augury.
Starting point is 00:30:25 Oh, the bones. Yeah. Sold them dice down. We shall consult the bones. Yes. And as a reminder, you receive an omen about a specific course of action that you plan to take within the next 30 minutes. And then you, the DM, say, wheel, and woe, or nothing. And those determine, yes, no.
Starting point is 00:30:46 So. Is that dumb boon speak? Reel or row or? Yeah. Stop. Listen. I'm working on it. You're perfect how you are.
Starting point is 00:30:54 I roll the bones and I say, should we go? Damn. This was in Stardust, one of my favorite movies where they throw the bones up. It is. It is. It's on Willow. I haven't seen Willow in decades. I didn't watch it again.
Starting point is 00:31:08 So going down, Wheeler, whoa. Yeah. Wheel. Yay, we're going down. We should start calling it Wheel or no wheel. Wheel, Bob. Wheel of fortune, but, you know, whatever. Teach their own.
Starting point is 00:31:25 So let's, uh, let's, let's take an elevator. down. Going down? Spiral Evator. Sorry. Sorry. Is there like a funny goblin and like a little bellhop suit
Starting point is 00:31:34 with a little pillow hat? He says, oh, hello, can I take your bags? I will put on the gas, no, the scuba diving mask, snorkel mask and my eelskin hat so that I look not like me so that if we meet on Dariens,
Starting point is 00:31:51 they will not immediately attack. Sounds good. The spiral evader, I mentioned this in the previous episode, but I have not mentioned it again in this episode, so I feel compelled to say it again. The spiral evader is pretty small. I can probably hold about two people at a time. Oh, yeah, you did say that.
Starting point is 00:32:07 Who wants to go down for... I assume we're going to go two and two, but you tell me, how are you all going to approach this? I'll go first. I'll, you know, secure the area. I'll go first in case mudlap is there. It's probably makes sense from a size perspective of a big guy, small guy, and another big guy, small... That's good, yeah.
Starting point is 00:32:26 Small Natty. Okay. So Tollve and Gunther first, then Doug and Natty. No. Tollvin Gunther first, and then Gigi and Captain Grumbles, and then Doug and Natty. Okay, got it. John, I'm going to kill him. I'm just kidding.
Starting point is 00:32:44 I know it rises. I'm like, where do I go? Guys. I'm going to go ahead and read it. So Toll and Gunther, you both descend through. the spiral evader and when you emerge on the lower level it appears to be a sort of archaeological dig and you get like a like a waft a scent of smoke in the air and on the wall you see two what appeared to be two blue gemstone eyes oh scary the area checking our corners looking around
Starting point is 00:33:16 the eyes pop open and immediately focus on you told they're rough hewn through the rock and they're stacked one on top of the other so so but their their eyes or they're blue They're blue gems. They're blue gems that appear to be like eyes. But one on top of the other? Yeah. Almost like a squared off eight. You know, like you like an LED clock, you know, the almost like two boxes one top of the other.
Starting point is 00:33:40 They're like, oh. Like they're right on top of each other. They're kind of cross-eyed. They're right on top of each other. I wouldn't say they're cross-eyed. They're like vertically one on top of the other. They look like eyes, but they're not necessarily eyes. Correct. Yeah, that's good we think of it.
Starting point is 00:33:52 But they just opened? Yeah, they're opened and there's like a blue glowing eyes. light out of them and they're fixated on you told this is what Trevor sees when he comes into my into our bedroom when I'm already getting ready for bed and I'm just like welcome to the bedroom come here I turn my head sideways to greet them in a way that they can see us me eye to eye and I say you it's me tolve hello blue eyes my blue eyes hi Frank Sinatra what are you doing here They just blink at you. I blink back.
Starting point is 00:34:28 Blink. Nothing. Okay. Is there anything else in this space? Yeah, are there any dead bodies? Does this seem like a security system of any sort? Make a, let's call it an intelligence check. Oh, okay.
Starting point is 00:34:42 Both of us, sir. Yeah. That is a 16. A six. You begin looking around, trying to see if it's, you know, like you're trying to work on your theory that it's a security system. And it doesn't seem like there's much else of no. Nothing that would appear to be like a security system like you're thinking.
Starting point is 00:35:01 Okay. And as you're thinking about this, poking around, trying to figure it out, the rest of the party comes down to Spiral Vader and George. Hello, guys. There are some blue eyes. I do not see a white dragon, but, you know, just be aware. It's a Yukio reference. It's very funny.
Starting point is 00:35:17 Laugh. Very good. Yeah. Bar already made the reference. Do I have to laugh when you make it to? What? I'm like, my blue eyes. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:35:26 It's okay. It's funnier. You were thinking of Frank Sinatra. Yeah. It's funnier when you deliver it. Oh, man. I believe it, I think it might be a security system, but it doesn't seem to pose a threat. I don't, I'm going to go up to it and maybe touch the top one.
Starting point is 00:35:49 What the heck? As you get closer, the, uh, the eye seemed to. to track you and you go up and touch it. And right as you're about to touch it, the eyelid closes. So you touch the wall. And then as you pull your hand away, it reopens and still looking at you.
Starting point is 00:36:02 This seems somewhat familiar to you, Toll. Is it a similar blue hue to my shield that allows me to see thomatex? Oh, it's recognizing me. Because I'm a thomatech. Your shield is glowing. Oh. Oh.
Starting point is 00:36:18 Oh. Are you, are you, hello? Is this one of you? my brothers or sisters. Without a doubt. What? Which one? Norm, Ed, Diva, Trey, Friar, Fyre, Fim, Sex, Sjew, Sets. We have a nickname for Sex.
Starting point is 00:36:35 We'll get me to that later. Stu, Atta. It is certain. Are you at her? Do I need to go backwards? Yes, definitely. Okay. Good.
Starting point is 00:36:50 So good to see you. Why do you look? this way. Are the eyes similar to the size of tolls? For some reason in my mind, I'm imagining them large, but I guess is it just like, is it just like two normal phometech eyes? Yeah, I thought they were big,
Starting point is 00:37:05 but, I mean, they're kind of big. Why aren't they really answering you, though? Like, they're really saying who they are. They don't have a mouth. That you can see. Yeah. I just mean, like, you're asking which way, wait, wait, I want to follow Chris's logic. They weren't answering
Starting point is 00:37:21 because of a mouth, but they were talking. So how are they talking? Yeah, okay, that's fair. Okay. Yeah, do I see any, is this another Neo-Tio situation where there are body parts missing? You can only see eyes. Can I try something? Yeah, go for it.
Starting point is 00:37:37 I have this thing. The octopod of obscure turns water and inquisitive ink dribble some out. Ink flows towards hidden things in area. Oh, that's cool. Mm-hmm. And see if, can I try that and see if there's anything hidden in this room that we're missing? Yeah. Or like there's more body parts or anything?
Starting point is 00:37:55 Absolutely. Do you have to like say what you're looking for or just like it just flows to things that are hidden, right? It just says, yeah, things that are hidden. And I roll, I have four D6, I think, per long rest. So I'll roll. I'll roll. See if it uses one of them. It's a three.
Starting point is 00:38:11 So does that mean it's used up? One to two exhausts it. So, no, three does not. Oh, okay. Yeah. So you pour out the octapot of obscura on the ground. And it's slowly flows. I was going to say roll.
Starting point is 00:38:22 It flows in the direction of the wall where the eyes are. And just as a reminder, this level is carved out. It looks like an archaeological dig of some kind. So this is like that other leg that we found way, way back. We need to. Maybe the rest is still in stone. It's time for a dig. Yes, uh, uh, dear family member, blink twice if you need, like, to be freed.
Starting point is 00:38:51 because you're trapped in this wall. Outlook? Good. Oh, no. Okay. I think, guys, I think that they are in a bit of a crisis situation where they're not thinking or responding correctly. So if you guys wouldn't mind helping me get my family member out. I don't know. I don't know how well it's coming across, so I feel compelled to mention it. Every time it's replying, it's a different voice.
Starting point is 00:39:17 Interesting. So is it multiple family members? Okay. Or something's weird. happening with like his voice box. Yeah. It's a real bumblebee from Transformer situation. Yeah, I mean, Doug, I feel like you would be very helpful for this. Do you have any sort of machinery? Like Gambat to do anything to help me excavate my family member?
Starting point is 00:39:38 Yeah, absolutely. Why don't I take a look? Permission to come check you out, Ada? As I see it? Yes. Okay, that was a verbal yes, so I'm coming over. Uh, could... Could Doug, like, I guess, check out mechanically how this is functioning
Starting point is 00:39:56 and if there's like a piece out of whack or anything like that? Because, I mean, he has spent time with Tollv and also Neo-Tio and all those other siblings. So I feel like Doug would have a pretty good understanding of like how the Thomatech form would be and all the parts and pieces and stuff. Yeah, I think that it's, you know, it's technology that's, I don't want to say it's beyond Doug, but it's like it's very complicated, very powerful technology, but like you said, you have spent a lot of time with it. So while you don't have the ability to build a thaumatic per se,
Starting point is 00:40:28 you understand the ins and outs and more or less how it all connects and how everything works. So, you know, you poke around a bit and, you know, try to see what's going on. And make me an intelligence check, Doug, with advantage because of your thaumatic knowledge. Okay. Yes, I have caught Doug looking at me when I,
Starting point is 00:40:49 in a trans. Yes, I'm studying. 21. Nice. 21. That's really good. Yeah. You trace the outline of the eyes and, you know,
Starting point is 00:40:58 try to touch the wall and ascertain what's going on around you. And from your perception, what it appears to you is that this Thaumatech is buried in the wall and only the eyes have been excavated so far, that if you continue the excavation behind it, that you will uncover more of it. Okay. I think I have in my inventory. Let's see. I could have sworn I had like a pickax.
Starting point is 00:41:26 But maybe I don't. Yeah, yeah. I have a, I have smithing tools and I have a... I do have a pickax. Okay. You did buy some from Claudia. And anyway, I got a drill. Yeah, I already have a pickax smith tools and I think also a heavy duty drill as well in my inventory.
Starting point is 00:41:47 Yeah. I believe you got that pickax under. Fort Endridge, if I'm remembering, right? I did, yeah. I think, yeah, you got that a long time ago. And I have a war pick, a wafting war pick. Could I gently try to, like, excavate the rest of this pneumatic? Yeah. Tov, I promise I'll be gentle. Okay, I won't hurt your sibling. I'm not worried about it. I know. You are very chintel. It's okay, dog. I'm going to help in any way I can. I'm just going to provide assistance. Yeah, you begin slowly picking at it. You know, as you begin uncovering it, you start to realize the scope of the work.
Starting point is 00:42:21 And you think it's going to take some time, you know, to get it all done. It's not impossible, but it will take a little bit of time working at it in order to get it all excavated. Well, I mean, I got time. Okay, yeah, you begin picking at the rubble around Ada and make me a dexterity saving throw, Doug. Saving through, okay. Gonna use my inspo duck, because I was in 11. Whoa. Yes.
Starting point is 00:42:46 Not 20 for 22. Ooh, okay. Yeah, as you're picking at it, you feel a small, a slight rumble in the wall and in the ground under your feet. And you dodge out of the way just in time as a large piece of the ceiling falls and collapses right where you were standing just a second ago. I swear I didn't do that. How is that, are they further buried into the rubble or was this just a... No, that frees Ada. The collapse of the ceiling causes part of the wall to fall as well, which allows Ada to roll out from the wall. And now you can fully see Ada before you. And you see Ada has a sphere-shaped body and is cart-sized.
Starting point is 00:43:25 And it appears to be made out of some kind of black metal with a central circular display of two square eyes made of sapphire with one on top of the other. And Ada begins rolling around, moving around. Do you that always look like that? Ada sounds like a Star Wars droid. Yeah, they do. Oh, Cho, what's up? How are you?
Starting point is 00:43:44 Do I go in for a hug? You go in and feel the cool metal sphere that is your sibling Ada. Oh, so good to see you. What are you doing down here, Atta? The eyes just blink. Do I remember if Adda's always had difficulty communicating, or is this a new, like, symptom of something? I'll say this. You know, Ada blinks and you look at Ada, and they reply to you.
Starting point is 00:44:11 Concentrate and try again. Are they like a magic? They're a magic eight ball. They're a magic eight ball. I just got it now. They're a orb with the eyes on top of the other truck looking like an eight. With an eight. Eight.
Starting point is 00:44:24 Yeah. Guys, I should tell you this. Atta is a little quirky. Okay, they're not very straightforward, but they're very good people. Okay. Everybody say hi to Ada. Hi, Atta. Hello, Adda.
Starting point is 00:44:37 Nadi say hi to Ada. Nadi goes up and shakes Ada. You gotta ask a question when you do it. Yeah, and says, are you gonna come to my wedding? And then Natty waits. It is decidedly so. Oh, great. Also, what does the head count at your wedding?
Starting point is 00:45:00 My God. Inviting people really nilly. Hey, Adda, have you seen a very, very... I'm sorry, it's your family, Tov. I'm inviting your family and you're mad at me? No, not at all. I hope you can invite all 11. Heaven of my brothers and sisters, but gee whiz, like, that's a ton of people.
Starting point is 00:45:18 That's very expensive. You must have come from wealth. Blaine would know firsthand, how expensive. Having a lot of guests at a wedding is. Playtid, or is it like, you know? Uh, have you, by any chance, seen a very, very, very handsome frog-like guy walking around here? Yeah, not that one. No, I mean, you know, I did say very, very handsome.
Starting point is 00:45:43 him. Stars point. Yes. Oh, I didn't realize you had lungs. Don't count on it. Oh. Can I examine Ada? Like, I know that they're, this is how they communicate.
Starting point is 00:45:56 Are they damaged from this? You think this must be some kind of new symptom, right? Like, Ada wasn't always like this, that, uh, Ada used to be able to talk more. This, something must have happened. Okay. Hmm. Should I continue checking out their voice box?
Starting point is 00:46:13 That's something I could do. And if you need any spare parts, I will donate any of them. It's like, Blaine's doing the robot as he sits there. He's doing the C3Pio is what he's doing. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I mean, if you want, you can make some kind of check on that. Intelligence, I'm trying to see if what would make sense. I guess intelligence would make the most sense.
Starting point is 00:46:35 Okay. 19? You get through there and, you know, take a look at the workings of Ada's voice box and try to see how everything connects to each other. But it doesn't quite make sense to you. Everything is wired the way it should be. You can see that it's working, and you can't just figure out why the vocabulary is limited.
Starting point is 00:46:59 Typical IT problem. Yeah, typical. Does this seem like something that's like a life-threatening thing, or is this just kind of a new thing that they're going to have to deal with? I mean, Ada's rolling around and seems, from what you can tell, seems fine, limited, like, limited speech. It's BB 8 ball. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:47:19 It flicks out a lighter and gives you a thumbs up. What did they say earlier about if they saw Bunlap? You said signs point to yes. Yes, yes. Okay. Starr's point to yes. Atta, what you want to join? Oh, by the way, quick catch up.
Starting point is 00:47:35 I've run into some family members. Elva, Neo, and Tio. They're in good health. Things are going well. Here are their body parts. You know, who? as a finger. We've been doing a cute little trade thing
Starting point is 00:47:47 any time we run into family members. We'll worry about that later. Let's get you out of this cave eventually. But you and I can do a little trade. That way it's like we have little piece of each other to continue our journeys. So, yeah. Yeah, as you're saying this,
Starting point is 00:47:59 something enters your memory banks. Oh. And your vision goes a little wonky toll. Your vision changes, and you get a little further information. You can, you understand a little bit more about Ada, I should say. Buffering. Hold on. Hold on. Buffering.
Starting point is 00:48:15 We just see his eyeballs with the little swirly thing of loading. 63%. 70. 71. 80. 82. 90. 99. 100. Okay. There it is. Okay. You should have buffered on 99 for about 10 minutes. I could tell. John was seething. I didn't want to do it. You see the last few seconds of reality that you experienced, but slightly different. The places where Doug and Gunther are standing are swapped.
Starting point is 00:48:44 And this is something that Tov Seas happened? Only Tov C's, yeah. So it's, and it's from Ada's perspective, and it's... It's your perspective. Like, you're standing there in the same spot, but from what you can see, Doug and Gunther are in different spots. They swap places, and then you catch back up to reality, and you look at them, and they're where you remember them being.
Starting point is 00:49:06 Okay. Could we sense if there's any, like, like, something in the air or in this like area that we are in that might be like infecting. Are you asking if there's something in the air tonight? Dood do on. I mean, it's still in my head, guys. I can't shake it. My question to Nadie.
Starting point is 00:49:27 Did Gigi put a fridge magnet on the back of my head and I just can't see it back there? I'm feeling a little loopy. What is, what is it you just experienced? Because I don't know what it is that you just experienced. So I just noticed that Ad is a little off, and I was looking at Gunther and Doug, and I think that they just swapped places, but then they swapped back, so I feel like I'm taking crazy pills. I don't know what's going on. Like a glitch almost.
Starting point is 00:49:56 Yeah. Was it like we swapped where we were standing, or the things that we were... Yeah, you swapped where you were standing, yes. Okay. Maybe look elsewhere and see if it happens again. Make a history check for me, Toll. History check. Oh, not bad.
Starting point is 00:50:14 17. Am I Doug? You got the fur on still. You wish. 17 on the history check from Tov Toll. You recalled that Ada was built and designed to predict the future. Yeah, I share that with the team. So what does that?
Starting point is 00:50:40 I mean, are we... There's no fate but what we make? No, what is it? What's those? Yeah, I think that's it. Well, yeah, because, like, if he did that and then we're like, oh, well, then let's switch spots. Let's switch spots. I guess, I guess so.
Starting point is 00:50:53 Should we change clothes, too? Well, I don't know if I want to wear your underwear, Guntler. Okay, okay. Just get in your wedding attire. Yeah, you two switch spots, but nothing seems to happen. Toll, you suspect that maybe it's a slight malfunction on Adda's part. Maybe Adda's not seeing the future correctly, question mark? Maybe Ada is seeing possibilities.
Starting point is 00:51:18 Or just that their visions of the future is somehow being manipulated or skewed because of like some type of malfunction. Well, yeah, yeah. I think that's part. If Ada is a computer, as a robot and has a computer mind and Ada was designed to see the future, then what a computer can do is just take all the data that's coming in and make predictions. but that prediction process would involve them making all the predictions and then nearing it down the most likely one. And so they're not.
Starting point is 00:51:49 Hold that thought, Steve Wozniak. Oh, yes, what's going on out of? I think they have a virus. It's Giggies coughing uncontrollably. Oh, that's okay. Just give him a second. He'll get it out. Did you eat more gold?
Starting point is 00:52:02 I'll just pass and pack them on the back. He spits up a saliva and covered rock. Oh. Is it gold? No, it's just a plain rock. Oh, because wasn't he eating all the gold before to keep inside him? Normally he don't cough it up. Normally he passes it pretty well.
Starting point is 00:52:19 Well, earlier when we were talking to Atta, they started going, ah, ha, ha, ha, ha. So could I look at the rock? Yeah, Doug. By the way, we're taking inspiration after remembering that. That's pretty good. Also, I think, Gunther, you're also a pretty big expert on rock, so you want to take a look at this with me?
Starting point is 00:52:36 I do like pebbles. You do. But this seems more than the pebbles. Yes. Giant apple. He's a big rock. What's a Duane Johnson? You go over and take a look at the rock,
Starting point is 00:52:48 and it appears to be like a brownish-red rock with almost like a swirling sort of texture. Gensel, do you recognize this? Do I? Do I, do I kind of, I don't know what would be a history or a... Uh, nature check. Nature, nature, okay. 14?
Starting point is 00:53:06 Not bad. You don't recognize it, but it would, It does appear to be similar to other rocks in the area, in this excavation area. Natty, make me a perception check. I have a feeling these rocks are making us sick. 13 plus 316. Gigi seems like he's acting kind of weird. Giggy, you want to talk to Mama?
Starting point is 00:53:27 You want to try to tell what's going on? He's sitting on the ground with his arms outstretched. Seems like he's trying to reach towards the ceiling. I think he wants upies? Like directly up and because I, up. Upies is more like arms towards the person you want. It's not upies. He's like grabbing at something that you can't see.
Starting point is 00:53:47 Okay. Natty would look up in that direction to see if she could follow his line of side. You follow his line of sight and there's just, there's nothing there. It's just a plain patch of the ceiling. Okay. Here's what Napa's going to do. Now he's going to pick up, Gigi. Is the ceiling, is this room like fairly tall?
Starting point is 00:54:03 No, it's pretty small because it's being excavated out. So it's a pretty low ceiling. Give me a height. Six feet. Oh, oh, very, very. So, okay, well, then I'll just pick them up. I, I mean, I had mentioned it only in passing, I think, in the previous episode, but these passages are small, like almost they were carved out for small folk.
Starting point is 00:54:20 That makes sense. In a mine. Yeah, you don't carve out more than you need. They called it a mine. I'll lift him up. See if, like, his hands reach what they're reaching for. Yeah, he grabs something that you can't see, and it just starts, like, shoveling it into his mouth, like he's eating the air.
Starting point is 00:54:37 Well, is there a chance that Nettie could try to touch what it is that like he's grabbed? Like, is it tangible to Natty? Yeah, you reach out there, and it seems to just be air, and as you do that, Gigi begins slapping your hands away. Oh. Oh. Does he just want to eat more of the rock? Make a, make me a medicine check, Natty. All right.
Starting point is 00:54:59 That's another 13. What's my medicine modifier? Nothing. 13. You think that maybe he's under some kind? He says he, you think he's seeing things that you can't see. Almost like there's some sort of hallucinogenic effect that he's suffering from. Okay.
Starting point is 00:55:15 Oh. Hold on. Even though he spat out the rock? Yeah. So maybe if Gigi's seeing something, told maybe you're seeing something. Did you eat rock? Did you eat rock? I want that on the shirt.
Starting point is 00:55:32 I don't know. This is really perplexing. We got Gigi glitching out. We got tall of glitching out And we got a new robot buddy Gunther eats the rock All right Willingly
Starting point is 00:55:44 Gunther, you go and eat the rock I don't normally eat rock Yeah You're because we're organic creatures Am I going to be the only sober one here And have to take you guys all through Like your trip D-D
Starting point is 00:56:02 Don't hit us with your mushroom glove You see your friends in front of you staring at you in disbelief as you eat this rock gunther And you're looking at Ada Then Ada looks weird Can I voice what I see? Let me slack it to you Okay That way they can party can hear
Starting point is 00:56:22 Oh guys I see Atta They are growing arms Eight arms Like Octobus And uh oh oh oh no There, watch out. There's blood flowing out of the walls. There's blood flowing out. Oh, oh no, everyone. The blood is everywhere. Swim! Put on your goggles. I think you're hallucinating. You're hallucinating Gonto. Spit the rock out.
Starting point is 00:56:52 Doug will try to do the Heimlich maneuver on Gunther, trying to get it out. You grab Gunther. I'll say there's no problem because he's a little freaked out right now. And, uh, began squeezing at him and, uh, he spits the rock out onto the ground. It dribbles around. Okay, there you go. Cough it up. Good, good. Oh, I was freaking out, man.
Starting point is 00:57:22 Dumb Dums and Dice would like to welcome you to the grim darkness of the 41st millennium in the Valentine Heresy, a Warhammer 40K RPG podcast. Newly promoted Inquisitor Lucius Valentine has received visions of the death of the god emperor, so it's up to him and his ragtag team to save the galaxy. The Valentine Heresy is a show for Warhammer veterans and people who've never played before. and you know it's good because it's been downloaded more than 3 million times. The Valentine Heresy.
Starting point is 00:57:47 Listen now, wherever fine podcasts can be found. So you have described, like, the rocks around this area in that similar, like, hue description of, like, reddish? It's like reddish. And so, but you said this one, the rock itself had a swirl to it. Is that swirl consistent with other things in the wall, or does that rock seem to be different from the rest of the general detainable? When you see these rocks, they all kind of have that similar kind of texture.
Starting point is 00:58:24 Okay. And it's not every rock. It's like, you know, there's different kinds of rocks in the wall and different, you know, ores and veins. But it's not uncommon. It's not uncommon. Right. Okay. It's pretty common, yeah.
Starting point is 00:58:36 Hey, Ada. You said Ocho a second ago. It broke my brain. Ada. That's their nickname. That's what friends call them. Yeah, yeah. That's fine.
Starting point is 00:58:45 That's fine. It works. Do you perhaps know anything about? about these rocks, you seem to have spent a lot of time with them. A little too much time if you're asking me. Wait, wait, one moment. Dolf, were you always purple? No.
Starting point is 00:59:00 Wait. Hi there, it's me. Doug? Yes. Why are you green? Green? I mean... Natty, you're blue.
Starting point is 00:59:12 And I don't mean sad, but like literally blue. Why's everyone in different colors? I think he's still kind of tripping out. He might have licked himself. to add compounding effects. And Natty, you asked Ada if they knew anything about these rocks or they'd seen these rocks? I just said they knew anything about them. I know this is a yes and no kind of situation, so we're going to have to narrow it down.
Starting point is 00:59:35 My reply is no. Okay, okay. We came down this spiral vater and we obviously immediately were interested in these eyes in the wall. Is this a closed-off room? Is this the end of the mine? or is there further corridors out of here? So is this closed off mine? Are there further corridors out of here?
Starting point is 00:59:57 Like, did we come down the elevator? And this is just the room is this, and there's no exits, other than going back up the spiral vator. Yeah. It is certain. I wasn't asking this. I like that I was asking Gus this, and I got out of answer. That's why I was like,
Starting point is 01:00:17 that's why I restated your question. try to shape it into a yes or no. Okay, okay, that makes sense. That way could you have added answer? Wait, so then, what did you say yes to? Because I think I asked more of the... Is this the end? This is the... Yeah, this is the only... Okay, okay, okay.
Starting point is 01:00:31 Broke my brain. It's a little Joe Pesci from Lethal Weipat 2 there. Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay. Okay, okay, okay. Can Tolv tell if the... I just spit all over my microphone. Tatoel, tell... If the red rocks are what is causing
Starting point is 01:00:48 Ada's kind of like dysfunction or if this is a sub if this is something more to do with their Do we just need to like blow on Ada a lot? That's a good question. Maybe just take them out of here. Yeah. That's a good question.
Starting point is 01:01:00 Also make a medicine check, Tollv. Okay. Robot medicine. Robots medicine. 12. Well, for Toll it's just medicine. You think that it's something separate. The rocks probably have nothing to do with
Starting point is 01:01:12 Ada's current state. Okay. I think we should scubidididoo. out of here is a, okay, so Gigi was tripping because Gigi ate that rock. Same with Guntor. So we know there's a high chance that these rocks have like some sort of psychotropic properties to them. So let's just keep that in mind.
Starting point is 01:01:33 Giggy, Gigi, only eat, you can eat everything but those rocks, okay? You get you, I don't say no to you and anything, but I'm saying. I might be worded that a little differently. Oh, make a roll to see if Gigi listens. Yeah, I'm going to make a check. Nattie normally doesn't like to say no to her baby, her perfect angel, her light of her life. Oh, we know. The guy, the little man who could do no wrong.
Starting point is 01:01:58 But, you know, I got to worry about him having, you know, he's a little young for drugs. He can do a little wrong. Dang it. I rolled a two. Rock's going in. Yep. All right. Okay.
Starting point is 01:02:09 I'd say that the current rock is out of reach since Gunther spit it out. Natty, she takes the leash and does that thing where she wraps around her hand a couple times. just to really like short the Dutch maneuver. Yeah, and get a good grip on it to like she just knows she's going to have to pull this child away. Real fast. Gicky isn't very receptive to you telling him no. But that's fine. Natty, this might be a prime opportunity for a life lesson with Gigi.
Starting point is 01:02:34 Oh, no. What? It might help, you know, reinforce that sometimes he has to listen even though he doesn't agree with you or he doesn't want to do what you say. That sometimes maybe mama knows best for him. I'm conflicted because that's not how Natty parents. But this was a one-time exception. This was a different thing. How about this?
Starting point is 01:02:57 Natty doesn't want to tell Gigi what to do necessarily on a regular basis, but Natty wouldn't mind Gigi understanding the effects that certain things can have on him. So then he can make a choice of what he wants to do. If he wants to eat the trippy rocks, as long as he understands what they're going to do to him, you know? Sure. So this is maybe, this is a hard lesson. A hard lesson, okay. Because this is, like you said, this isn't something that's normally necessary in the wheelhouse of how you approach this.
Starting point is 01:03:28 It's like the more you know about like taking large amounts of information in and figuring out the consequences. Good or bad. Is it possible for Doug to put Gambot next to Giggy so Natty could teach both of them this lesson? You can program your little dude. You literally made him. Well, I just feel like a motherly touch would be nice for Gambot. All right. We'll do a separate upgrades with Gambot later.
Starting point is 01:03:58 DC 16 wisdom check. Yes. What is Natty's? This is advanced doomsday philosophy for those keeping track at home. Natty has no wisdom modifier plus zero. All right. 16. That has a 13.
Starting point is 01:04:13 Okay. Gigi ain't learned anything new today, but he's still perfect. Gigi goes back to the rock, grabs it, and just holds on to it. Is it kind of like when a child is like threatening something? Or they go, ah? No, he's just like defiantly holding on to it, just like it's his. That's fine. That's fine.
Starting point is 01:04:33 That's fine with me. Okay? You want that rock, you can have that rock, okay? Don't give it a gunther anymore. I'm going to say, though, that in order to grab the rock, Gigi is finally, going to drop the axe. What? This is now more important to giggy in this moment.
Starting point is 01:04:48 They've been holding that the whole time. Oh my goodness. Yes. And I pick up the axe and I give it to Captain Grumbles. So that he has an axe and shield now. Oh, nice. All right, Cam Grumbles, you got to hold on to that because I'm pretty sure if I remember correctly,
Starting point is 01:05:04 we're supposed to give that axe back eventually to its owner. So now it's in your care. And now Captain Grumbles refuses to drop it. Rigamortis has set in from one child to the other His arm is straight out Just holding it Before we go
Starting point is 01:05:23 Could Gunther collect a couple more of those rocks Just to He's Chris He's addicted guys You absolutely can But just so you know Chris slash Gunther They're everywhere
Starting point is 01:05:33 They're a common stone You've seen them in every room In the mine you've been in Okay Well yeah I'll just take a couple Not for me it's for a friend Okay, yeah, grab a couple rocks and hold on to them. As you were picking up these rocks, Gunther, one rock in particular stands out.
Starting point is 01:05:51 It's slightly different than all the other rocks. It's an unusually smooth stone, and it feels out of place compared to every other rock you've seen here. Everything else is very rough. You know, it's all been excavated. This one is very smooth, and it's got names etched into it. Crokefolk names etched into it the names of those who have fallen in battle
Starting point is 01:06:15 Oh, do I recognize them? The names? You don't recognize the names necessarily but you do know that this is a tradition over from bygone grotto in Fly Flats. Is it maybe something that Bunlap had on him that he dropped? It must have.
Starting point is 01:06:34 You can, if you want to read some of the names, you can read some of the names. Yes, I will honor them. Dasher, dancer, Yeah, that's up to you. Yeah, yeah, no, yeah, I will look. But are you going to slack them to me or? No, no, you make them up.
Starting point is 01:06:48 Oh, oh. Yeah, that's why I was like, it's up to you. No, no. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yes, yes. Slonker. Slonker. Slonker?
Starting point is 01:06:58 Yes, and then slunker. And puddle whack. Puttel whack. Oh, puddle whack. Yes, puddle whack. Was puttelwak killed by a gloggle? No, no. No, no. He was a great tragedy.
Starting point is 01:07:11 Portal whack. What happened is he was out. And there was a construction error. And he was crushed while just in the walking around. Tragic, tragic. And then, mm, mm, mm, mcels. Bickles. Who could forget Bickles?
Starting point is 01:07:28 Who could forget Bickles? I honor them all. Mm-hmm. Just the three? Well, I can, I'll continue. Uh, is, uh, is peaches on there. I think I see at least seven. Cal,
Starting point is 01:07:43 Calconcon. Count, he was a count. Cal, Cal Concon. Oh, Cal Cal Concon. Cal Cal Con. I'm writing these, I don't know why I'm writing these down. I don't know either. I can hear typing.
Starting point is 01:07:56 I can hear so much typing. This is important to Guelter's people. And then, and then of course, Harriet. Harriet. Oh, yes. I heard she was a spy. Yep. There it is.
Starting point is 01:08:10 Spelled with a Z. I'm glad you're writing down because I wasn't and I'm... I got it. I got it. Well, may they rest in peace. Yes. They have gone now to give themselves to the wilder flower. Should we maybe take this rock and give it back to Bunlap when we find him?
Starting point is 01:08:27 I could give it to him. Okay. Because, you know, I think he might be really thankful that, you know, someone found it and maybe he'll give them a hug. He wants to give a gift to the hot frog. I was wondering what the angle was. He wants Bunlap to like him. Listen, you can't take Bart out of me ever. That's really funny.
Starting point is 01:08:50 I think what we have ahead of us is a couple of options, but the main ones we've got to go back up because there ain't nowhere else we can go down here. We can go back up to the level where we met our good friend, Kleiner. Honestly, Blaine's joke has helped me remind me of that guy's name. Recliner. Kleiner.
Starting point is 01:09:08 Kleina. And there was a path there was a path there that we hadn't explored yet. So maybe we could exhaust that before we go up up to the Cape. What y'all say about that? I'm super diggedy down. Ada, do you want to join us? Not likely. Oh, I had enough to have. Well, that's too bad because I need to get you to the surface to make sure you're safe at, okay. Error. Error. Error.
Starting point is 01:09:36 Wait, Ada, do you want to? You want to stay down here in this hole? Some say yes. Some say no. Hmm. How very insightful. Ada, you're so quirky. Oh my God.
Starting point is 01:09:50 What a hoot and a holler. Ada, do you want to leave this hole but not with us? Like you got other plans? Most likely. Okay, okay, okay. I get it. You, you know, we all need our alone time. We all got our own things to do. Tov, did you do a swap you already?
Starting point is 01:10:10 No, I guess Adda, you know, if that's your thing, I guess we freed you. I know you're very capable of handling yourself, so is it cool with you if we swapped components? That way, when you see our, you know, brothers and sisters and siblings, they'll know we encountered each other and I can show off proof of life. It is surgeon. Oh, big hug, big hug. What components are there on Ada?
Starting point is 01:10:41 I'm trying to think of... Oh, your butt cheek. I saw John pantomiming over there. Chris, I don't know what's wrong with you. Well, your butt cheek is round. But John's pantomiming to his eye. Yeah, I'd be down for that, Adda. You'd be comfortable with that if we switch ocular components?
Starting point is 01:11:00 Cool. I don't remember that one on a magic ape ball. That one I laughed and I fart a little bit. I'm going to let you know. You John or Natty? That was John. That was John saying I laughed at the last and I farted. Giggy, you want to see something crazy?
Starting point is 01:11:17 I take off the Bjorn mask. He's going to move. He begins clapping. And I remove an eyeball. Which one? My right one. Okay. Giggy starts reaching for the left one.
Starting point is 01:11:29 I was going to say he's trying to try to eat that eyeball. And I pushed them away. If Giggie's hands weren't full with rock right now, maybe he would be doing that. All right, so you pull your right eye out and swap it with Ada? Yeah. All right. So, yeah, now you've got a, like a blue sapphire eye in your right eye. You got some heterochromia. Cool.
Starting point is 01:11:49 An eye for an eye. Ha, ha, ha, but like the good kind, like, it's cool. Yeah. Yeah, all right. Anyways. Okay, well, I give Ada one big hug. And then I also relay where Elva, Neo, and Tio. are that way if they want to regroup with them and uh i i wish them safe passage good good luck on
Starting point is 01:12:10 your journeys no more getting caught in any more caves okay ada yes definitely okay all right carry on see you later pal let's rock and roll to there rocks and and atta rolls that's pretty good that's you like that that was a whole like a a really stacked pun that you had there gunther so multi-level. Yeah, nice, nice. All right, what's the plan here? What are we doing? Back up to Klinea level.
Starting point is 01:12:43 Does it go down deeper? But there's no other places down here because we were told, or it was hinted at, that he was, or Bunlap was seen down here. But I guess he could have easily gone somewhere else or upwards. Yeah. There are no other exits other than the Spiral Vader to go back up. Yeah. I guess we technically asked, should we go up or down?
Starting point is 01:13:02 and they said down, but that meant maybe we should go down to get to help Ada. Or just, yeah, maybe that's where he had sought Bunlap at one point and then left. Kleinna didn't know, to be very clear, Clina didn't know where Bunlap went. Guys, I miss Kleiner. We asked Augrey, and Augrey was like, yes. Right, my bad. That's fine. Just want to clarify.
Starting point is 01:13:24 When I can see confusion happening, I'm like, let's unravel this. Let's unravel this. Let's head it off. And in Augrey's defense, you did find evidence of Bunlap being here. That's true. Yeah. I got your rock. All right.
Starting point is 01:13:37 So what order are you guys going back up to Spiral Vader? Is it the same? Sure. Okay. Yeah, so we got Tov and Gunther first, then Captain Grumbles and Giggy, and then... Thank you. Natty and Doug. Have you guys noticed how fortunate it is whenever I encounter a sibling?
Starting point is 01:13:54 It's in numerical order going backwards. Isn't that fun? Isn't that cool? The universe is a weird place, isn't it? Yes, it is. What does Atta mean? Eight. Atta's eight.
Starting point is 01:14:05 Oh. I didn't know that. Yeah. So far we've had Elva, Neo, Tio, and now Ada. I love when we meet told siblings. It's my favorite. Also, Barb, it plays into the whole eight ball thing. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:14:19 Yeah. Sometimes Barbara operates at a slower speed. Certain days. That's one of today's. First, I had it in my head that Ada was one for some reason. I don't know why. It seemed like a very one number. That's Ed.
Starting point is 01:14:35 You'll run into Ed later. There are a hoot and a holler. Mm. You all get back up to the, I guess what you would call the main level of Spiral Vader, the middle level of the Spiral Vader. And you reconvene there, the body of Klein is still there. Doug, I don't know what it is. You're getting kind of peckish, a little hungry.
Starting point is 01:14:54 Ooh. What else is new? Maybe it's all these people eating rocks. Should Doug eat a rock? Do you want the rock? As a meat grinder. You're a bad influence right now on me, Gantor. I saw what it did to you, but that is looking quite delectable.
Starting point is 01:15:09 Maybe I just had a bad one. This is a different laugh. I mean, you don't have to eat a rock, but I mean, rocks, right? Can I just pick it up and just give it a little lick? Do you have hit to this man? Go ahead. I just want to just a little, just, I mean, what bad could a little taste do? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:15:28 Well, there might be blood on the walls. Well, I'll try not to take one of those rocks. Take the rock from Gunther and hold it and regard it. And you give it a try. For science, right? For science. Yeah, I'm experimenting.
Starting point is 01:15:45 Your vision changes. Oh, guys, I don't feel so good. Is the room swirling and changing for anyone else? Is that snow? I thought we're underground. That doesn't make any sense. It can be snowing in here. It's all over the ground.
Starting point is 01:16:00 Now trees are spouting up? Oh, trees are nice. Oh, and they're so tall. They're reaching the sky. These are really big trees. I feel really small right now, and that's a rarity. Guys, I don't feel... Is anyone there?
Starting point is 01:16:16 We are here, Doug! Am I here? I think I'm disappearing. Doug, you're... No, you're here! Did I accidentally take my Gash's form potion again? Oh, no. Oh.
Starting point is 01:16:27 Doug! I think I'm floating away, guys. Someone hold on to you. me. I get in Doug's face and go, nightmare, nightmare, nightmare. Cut to reality and Nattie is just holding Doug's hand and like walking along with him. And he's just like saying all this as his head is like rolling around everywhere. They're getting dragged along the floor. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 01:16:44 You're holding me? I think I missed. I got you. I got you, buddy. I got you. I got you. It's just going to ride this out, okay. I'm going to perform a procedure that you might find uncomfortable. No, I'm back. I'm good. Oh, you are? Okay. Sorry, I said you were about to give me mouth to mouth. It was not mouth to mouth. Oh.
Starting point is 01:17:06 Well, actually, okay, let's see what it was. The danger was not worth it. One left to do the mouth to mouth quick. Okay, I think I'm okay, but, I mean, Gantto, if you want to try what, you're going to try it. Well, I don't, no, not if you don't need, if the rock has passed, then I will not do it. Boy, I, that was kind of cool. It's not going to lie. You're freaking out, man.
Starting point is 01:17:30 Weird show. So could we, since we're now at level lobby, can we go to just see what that passageway leads to, to the east? Okay, yeah. You look to the corridor to the east, and it appears to be an excavated corridor that's well finished. It's a high ceiling, and it's exceptionally warm and moist. There's an old wooden ladder leaning against the wall, and it leads to the sound of like scampering footsteps and some kind of clicking. Tell us more about this ladder. Is it like a diagonal ladder or upy downy's ladder?
Starting point is 01:18:06 No, no, it's just, it's, it's, there is, it is no diagonal ladder, diagonal stairs. What was the, what was the thing? It's a diagonal ladder. It was a ladder. He was saying that he could walk down. Walk down a diagonal ladder with a bow and hand. Yes. And you go diagonal ladder, yes.
Starting point is 01:18:21 You mean stairs. No. Not your ladder. You pass through into the next room and you find yourself in a great hall. Via the ladder or past the ladder? You find it past the ladder. Okay, so above the ladder we heard skittering, past the ladder into a great hall.
Starting point is 01:18:38 No, past the ladder you hear the skittering. Okay, thank you. It's just the ladder's leading there by the corridor. You pass the ladder into the great hall, and you hear the scampering of footsteps in the occasional clicking sound. It's a painting of sparse treasure vault hanging on the west wall, and a painting of the Slean Sea leaning on the east wall.
Starting point is 01:18:56 And a fishing rod handle dangles from fishing line that disappears into the vaulted ceiling. Some of those Goliath you met earlier frantically come and go in and out of the hall. Seems like a gathering place with a bunch of stuff that they've stacked up in here? Maybe, yeah. Is this an alternate entrance into the great hall
Starting point is 01:19:14 that we saw that Natty did the whole deception thing to the Ngarians? No, that was a banquet hall. Oh, silly me. I'm so a trash person. It's like a mediocre hall. Out of this room, you see, for the exit, Of course, there's the corridor you came through. There's a tunnel to the east and what appears to be a water slide in the northwest.
Starting point is 01:19:37 Wow. Tunnel to the east, water slides. Okay. Go up. The Goliaths that are there? Yeah. Are they the ones we saw before or are they new ones? This is not the one you saw before.
Starting point is 01:19:48 Oh, man. I was hoping to sleep easy. Hello. One of them stops and looks at you and says, what are you doing here? Yes. Are you here to take our gold? Not at all. We are here to help you find your leader. Belder. Belder. How do you know about Belder?
Starting point is 01:20:06 Well, because we're here to help find them. That's how I know. I could not find someone I did not know who I was looking for. I was wondering, have you seen a frog that somewhat looks like me? Why don't you make me a deception check to lead that off there, Chris? He uses somewhat very liberally, Because, I mean, it's night and day. I mean, this other frog, wow, 10 out of 10. Yeah, you would remember this one.
Starting point is 01:20:36 I trust me. 11. Oh, no. Hmm. I don't think you're here for Belder. I think you're here looking for that frog. Well, the frog might know where Belder is. So I'm trying to find the frog to then.
Starting point is 01:20:52 I love the circular logic. From Gunther. Chris, make me a luck check. Let's call it a luck check. Girl me a D20. Oh, another luck, check. Luck, look, look. Also, if you met this frog, you would want to be looking for them as well.
Starting point is 01:21:04 Trust me. Ooh, 17. Very lucky. Oh, looks like you, but way more handsome. Exactly. Glad we're on the same page, you. Yeah, yeah. The last I heard, uh, he was upstairs somewhere in the keep.
Starting point is 01:21:19 He's staying away from our gold, as you would be wise to as well. For sure. And, and, uh, do you know who took Belder? Well, no. if we knew that we'd be able to find Belder. That's fair. That's a good point. But you're here to find Belder.
Starting point is 01:21:35 So you say, wink. Yeah, well, indirectly. Yes. Indirectly. Anyone else have any questions for, what was your name? The name's Rooster. What's your name? Peace.
Starting point is 01:21:49 The name's Rooster cockfeather, which seems a little, uh, we're going to go with Rooster. Yeah. Gunther. Friends of Sleepy Z. Oh, you know Sleepy Z? Yeah. Oh, I see more like acquaintances. What's he up to? Is he sleeping? Probably.
Starting point is 01:22:06 Oh, you know, Sleepy Z. He gives you a fist. He puts out his fist for a fistbone. I do it and it knocks him. Hey, what's that for? Nanny points to that, the fish hook. Oh, that's very important to us, gold chasers. You see, that allows us to summon the golden rod. Skull Chasers, you said? Gold chasers.
Starting point is 01:22:30 Gold chasers. I heard... Ain't that like a weed? Is it? Goldenrod? Yeah, it's a weed. Oh, I thought you're asking gold chasers. No, no.
Starting point is 01:22:41 No, no. That's someone's the golden rod. Yeah, didn't answer my question. Is that a weed? Is that a person's name? Oh, I see. I thought that was John making a comment that golden rod was a weed. Totally misunderstood.
Starting point is 01:22:54 You don't know of the golden rod? Oh. Oh, you're in for a treat. That's a very important deity to us. God, it's just popping up everywhere like weeds. Yeah, and that thing you're looking at it, you can see this fishing rod, like the handle that's dangling from a fishing line that disappears into the ceiling. And the rod itself, now that he says that, you realize the rod is made of solid gold.
Starting point is 01:23:15 And it's going up? Yeah, the fishing line disappears into the ceiling. And occasionally, as you're looking at it, the rod like whirrs and zips and clicks and, you know, makes noises. This is an actual physical thing that's in front of us? Yeah, it's hanging from the ceiling. So there's a painting of it, and then there's also the physical rod itself. There are, so there are two different paintings. There is a painting of a sparse treasure vault hanging on the west wall,
Starting point is 01:23:42 and there's a painting of the Slean Sea leaning up against the east wall. The fishing rod handle is dangling from a fishing land that disappears into the ceiling. So there's a painting on the west wall, painting on the east wall, fishing rod dangling from the ceiling. So, Rooster, what would happen if I pulled that rod? Well, if you reel it in, you would summon the golden rod. Am I allowed to do that? Because I'm quite curious.
Starting point is 01:24:05 Well, that's up to you. It would be wise to not waste the golden rod's time. Well, I'm not a time-waster. That's very presumptuous of you to think that my time is a waste of their time. Well, you all are wasting my time right now. And we've reached the point where Gus bleeds into the character. You know, I think we should meet this here golden rod character. We have a friend, who is in the market for a new deity.
Starting point is 01:24:36 I was going to say maybe you guys meet this golden rod, and I'll just kind of hang back. I don't want to get the wrong impression. No, no, no, no. I have the sea drinker. Me and the sea drink are like besties. Oh, my God, the best. So, like, I think you would be cool if you know God met a new deity.
Starting point is 01:24:52 I don't know if the wilder flower would like that. Oh, what if the wilder? The hour's not here to see anything. They will see it. They know all things. No, they're fine. You're fine. Go ahead.
Starting point is 01:25:02 Okay, let's go to the golden rod. Give me golden rod. Natty jumps up and starts reeling it in. Okay. Rooster sees you start reeling it in and he makes himself busy walking to and fro doing various things in the room. You can begin reeling in the reel. And it's like you're reeling in a fish. It gives you a little bit of fight.
Starting point is 01:25:20 But eventually you're able to get it in. It's okay. I've played a lot of Stardue Valley. I got this. Is there like a meter? that you had to press the certain button. Yeah. Oh, a little treasure chest showed up.
Starting point is 01:25:31 I got to get that too. Let me see. Uh-oh. Every game's fishing mechanic is different. It's so funny. It took me a long time to get the one on Star Due figured out. I was terrible at it for a long time. Same.
Starting point is 01:25:41 You eventually reel it far enough and out from the ceiling pops a tiny fish with its mouth hooked by a floating golden rod. You got the golden. Howdy? Why do you summon the golden rod? I'm already a fan of you. I gotta say that. Well, of course you are.
Starting point is 01:26:03 Are you talking like that because you got the rod or like the hook in your mouth or is that just the way you talk? I'm a little tongue tithe at the moment. Some help down there. Could I unhook them from the hook? No, no. Thou shall not putt the golden rod. Oh, okay. It's cool, it's true.
Starting point is 01:26:21 Hey, golden rod. My name's Tov. This is my friend. Have you met my friend Gunther? No, I'm... Nunther. No, his name's Gunther. Don't, don't.
Starting point is 01:26:30 He's real shy and golden rod. You shouldn't be my friend. Pleasure to meet you, Gunther, nunther. I don't care. It's not a pleasure to me, you displeasure. You are not my patrons. Why do you summon the golden rod? That is for sure.
Starting point is 01:26:49 I guess the golden rod would look at you, Nadi. You have the rod in your hands. I'm just like waiting for these two kids. So you might have, you might, you're probably familiar with, you're, you seem to be one of the great gods, right? It was like a real important god, yeah? I'm getting that vibe off you. It's wafting off of you.
Starting point is 01:27:11 None are greater than the golden rod. There you go, there you go. We're in the presence of something amazing. Praise beats the golden rod. No. So, you ever met the steed? The silent steed The silence deed, thank you very much
Starting point is 01:27:28 We run in similar circles Oh do you So in what way That makes me curious We are work acquaintances Okay, okay Well I'm That's my wife
Starting point is 01:27:42 And so I just wanted to kind of make that connection So you know I'm not just a rando You're right, I'm not your patron But I ain't just anybody you know So we can maybe have a little bit of conversation Regarding... Do you know of the Wilder Shield? It's a very important artifact
Starting point is 01:28:00 that's involved with the Wilderflower, a lesser god, we'll say. Why, don't... Hey! The Wildersield? That seems like something you would talk to the chimera about. Is the chimera another god, demigod, creature? A bartender?
Starting point is 01:28:20 The chimera is a creature you will find here, Camirara keep. I have a question. How many toes does Camara have? Oh, one of those guys, huh? The Camirara has 17 toes. 17.
Starting point is 01:28:42 Is he also purple? Fighting kids? No, the Camira is not purple. Okay. Why are you asking purple? Gunther, I don't think it's the guy you're looking for. Oh, oh, oh. Okay.
Starting point is 01:28:53 And Kamira, what? Up in their keep right now, not down here in this mine area? Wandering around. Okay, okay. Okay. The 11-toed person that Gunther is looking for is also purple? I believe he said he was. Yeah, he said that. Purple feet.
Starting point is 01:29:07 Have we considered that they might have been stomping grapes right before the murders? Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Okay. So why does the Kamira, what's the association with the Kamira and the Wildershield? Because you're not the first person who said that. I care not for the wilderness field. I care for gold. Perhaps the chimera who spends time in the keep
Starting point is 01:29:32 will know more of what you see. Okay. Well, final question. You doing okay? Oh, you know, it's not too bad. Yeah? It's been pretty good, you know, just hanging out. And this isn't uncomfortable?
Starting point is 01:29:46 This is like your thing, like it's a piercing that you're cool with? This is the golden rod. Okay. And you're the golden rod as well. Yes. Do you eat gold? No. Oh, okay.
Starting point is 01:30:03 Okay. Well, Natty would like flick, would be like hold a gold coin. Like, may I pay tribute? May I pay tribute? Oh, that's interesting. So you want to give... I want to leave on good terms.
Starting point is 01:30:15 So you want to give a piece of gold to the golden rod? Yeah, they said they let gold. Okay. Go! That's exactly what. Where my brain went playing. How much are you giving? I don't have a lot.
Starting point is 01:30:29 See, I'll give it all. 11 gold. You give 11 gold. So you're like, God, Natty, Natty. This is why we are always having to lend you money. Saving up for a marriage. Yeah, think of the wedding, good Lord. You're inviting everyone.
Starting point is 01:30:44 You guys keep worried about it. You do understand that my wife is the God of death. She's got resources. More like your. sugar mama. I mean, come on. Should we invite Rooster and Sleepy Z and Razzleberry? Oh, hey, Goldenrod, do you want to come to my wedding?
Starting point is 01:31:02 Oh, my gosh. Oh, yes. Absolutely. Oh, great. Okay. She's just inviting everybody now. I feel like special. No, this makes sense. Ignore them. Ignore them. Okay. Bring a good gift. And so I give 11 gold to the Goldenrod.
Starting point is 01:31:18 I say, I say it's not much, but it's all I have. So it's a lot to me. Okay, yeah, you present the gold, the 11 piece of gold to the golden rod, and with a flick, he tosses it over to the painting of the vault. Oh, so it's like a Mario situation. Yeah, kind of, yeah. What's on the other painting? It's an ocean or something? The Sleen C.
Starting point is 01:31:39 Sleen? Yeah, S-A-Posophie L-E-E-N. Well, Natty would turn around to her party and be like, is anything else you guys need to say to golden rod or are we good here? I'm good. Can't though anything to say? I say uh
Starting point is 01:31:51 it it was a did bye we're gonna work on that okay thank you golden rod all for you make me a perception check
Starting point is 01:32:04 16 21 net 24 23 5 I think Gunther's avoiding eye gaze because he doesn't
Starting point is 01:32:16 like yeah you're like looking down at your feet yeah the golden rod kind of dives back into the ceiling and disappears. And as you're looking at the golden rod disappearing back into the ceiling,
Starting point is 01:32:29 everyone except Gunther, there's some motion in the water slide that catches your attention. You see almost like a reflective image in the water, a beast of some kind looking at you. In the water at the bottom of the water slide or the water like rushing through the water slide? The water rushing through the water slide.
Starting point is 01:32:48 Could I go up and take a closer look? Yeah, you go up and... And as you're approaching it, the beast begins like pacing back and forth. And then it slowly steps out from the water before you. And it appears to be like a large fusion of three different beasts made up of some kind of multifaceted glass. Oh, the chimera. It's three-headed, two-winged, and one-tailed. And it looks at you, Doug, locks eyes with you, and with all of its heads,
Starting point is 01:33:17 lets out a cacophonous, hideous animal roar. Say hi back. That might just be the way they greet people. All right. Find out if that's the way they greet people or not on the next episode of Tales on the Steaky Dragon. I'm going to think that's not. Aw. All right.
Starting point is 01:33:59 Thanks for listening, everybody. We'll see you all next time. Oh, my goodness. What better time to restock your closet than the summer. From now until June 30th, we're having a special summer sale in our store where select items are available for 25% off. That's like a quarter of a shirt. It's free. Wanna grab yourself an infinite embroidered hat or yamperd yams tea? Head over to store.stinky dragonpod.com to get those and much more on sale.
Starting point is 01:34:24 And did you know that the ultimate competition in Stinky Gaming is here? Four contestants, Blaine, Barb, me, and Gus, we face off each month in various games and battle for points all year long until one wins the Stinky Cup. It sounds grosser than it actually is. Join us each month in a different game with special bonus rounds available only to big Stinkers and Op at Sticky Dragon.com. New episodes of Tales from Sticky Dragon premiere every other Wednesday wherever you get your podcast and on the Sticky Dragon YouTube channel. Tired of waiting for the next adventure and looking for a quest,
Starting point is 01:34:57 join the ranks of the Sticky Dragon patrons at Sticky Dragon.com to get early access to episodes and unlock a horde of exclusive treasures and powerful artifacts. For example, Super Stinkers and above get access to our members-only live streams and stinky community events. Come gather around the virtual heart with us and your steadfast companions for times of merrymaking audience guests and digital contests of skill. You can also receive a coveted shout out on the show just like Thomas Grace, Otto Zamudio, Mori, Mochi, and Dustin Badger.
Starting point is 01:35:29 These patrons directly support the show and get access to all these perks and more on our Patreon. So stop missing out on the adventure. Become a patron today at sticky jugger pot.com. Some NPCs were named after patrons from our StickyDugget. Dragon Discord and some of our friends provide voices in this tale, including Bunlap, voiced by Devin Fenn, who's at Devon underscore Crothers, the Silent Steed, voiced by Jessica Vasami, at Jessica Vasami, Kleina, named after Logie Jokelson, voiced by Corey Akagi, Ada, voiced by Mali
Starting point is 01:36:01 Rust, the Golden Rod, voiced by Kristen Young, at X-Jing Young. The arrow this week was submitted by Smarsh Equals King. This episode of Tales for Sticky Dragon, was Produced by Ben Arts and Micah Rysinger, written and composed by Micah Rysinger, and edited by Alina LaCorcheck. Join us in the tavern next time for another adventure of Tales from the Sticky Dragon. I guess Ocho does mean eight.
Starting point is 01:36:30 She's catching up from the last hour. What's funny, she has like really good memories, so you're like recalling everything we've said to them. Yeah. All the signs were there. It's like memento. It's all making sense. Wait, I don't want to be that guy.
Starting point is 01:36:49 But this is the opposite of Memento because he doesn't remember anything in that movie. Except all the photos. Let them connect all the dots. Did you watch Memento recently or something? No, it's probably been two decades since I've seen that movie. That's an old movie. Don't believe his lies.

There aren't comments yet for this episode. Click on any sentence in the transcript to leave a comment.