Tales from the Stinky Dragon - C03 - Ep. 47 - Under Oondar Fire - Crying Bloody Mirror-der

Episode Date: July 8, 2026

Brutaliteam meets a golden deity and an old grammy and her kids while climbing Chimirrora keep. Support us directly on Patreon https://www.patreon.com/stinkydragon - get access to ad-free episodes, bonus content like Stinky Dragon Adventures & Second Wind, our patreon-exclusive discord, and more!Check out our new merch at store.stinkydragonpod.com - Dice, Player Character Tees, Blankets, Hoodies, and more! Follow us on our socials at https://linktr.ee/TalesFromTheStinkyDragonCast: Gus Sorola, Blaine Gibson, Barbara Dunkelman, Jon Risinger, Chris DemaraisWriter/Editor/Composer: Micah RisingerProducer: Benjamin Ernst Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Your summer travels deserve an upgrade. With select Chevrolete, Buick, GMC, and Cadillac vehicles connected by OnStar, you can stream, game, and more on the go. Whether you're headed to a music festival or a cottage getaway, you can access hundreds of apps on Google Play right from your center display. Explore OnStar Tech today at OnStar.ca and discover how to take your summer to the next level. OnStar. Better never stops. Hi, it's me. Jesse Tyler Ferguson.

In case you haven't heard, and I don't know how that's possible, you're obviously not seeing my Instagram stories, but I have a podcast. I know, I know, I know. I didn't think there was enough podcasts, especially podcasts hosted by actors. So here I am. It's called Dinner's On Me, and it's actually pretty special to me. It combines two things that I absolutely love, eating and connecting with people. So in each episode, I take an old friend or a new friend. out to a fabulous meal, and as we break bread, we dive into everything from imposter syndrome and mental health to being a new parent, navigating new relationships. It's fun because you truly get to be a fly on the wall for some really intimate conversations. So please, pull up a chair, join us. You can listen to Dinners on Me, wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, I'm Arne Neckham from the fully improvised comedy podcast. Hello from the Magic Tavern. I'm here with my co-hosts, Chun the Talking Badger, Bing Bong,

and Usenor the Wizard. I greet thee, listeners. Look, I'm trapped in the magical land of foon. So I started a podcast, interviewing elves, unicorns, and other weirdos. We have great guests like Felicia Day, Jason Manz, Brennan, Lee Mulligan, Amy Mann, and so many more. Oh, and I think one time we interviewed a sentient shoe? I hope it was sentient.

Not to mention the evil people we've had to interview. How I hate evil. Join us as we bar crawl across the magical land of foon. Looking for adventure. Getting caught up in escapades. Hello from the Magic Tavern is available right now on your favorite podcast app. And add free and with lots of bonus content on Patreon. Subscribe to Hello from the Magic Tavern today.

Merry meetings, all you molars. Quarks grew into the stinky dragon and ingest our latest infusion. This little piggy digged up the market. It's a mixture of tunneling tea leaves, well water, ground up guava juice, a landslide of light. lemon juice, an avalage of agave syrup, and soy milk and topped with a clawful of cardamom. One engulfing of this ground-up gulp, and you'll be dishing the dirt, and digging beneath the surface, and then dredging up the past, and going down rabbit holes, and rethinking your life's choices. Previous are adventurers uttered with the undead to uncover the unknowns of this

underground mine. They spotted signs supplying bearings for Bunlap, unearthed another of thought-provoking thomatic, and gabbed with the golden-rod demigoddegod. Now they're toe-to-to-to-tot with the titular terror of this tiered keep, the chimera. Draw yourself a drip and let's dive into this dink drama. Hello everyone. Welcome to Tales on the Stinky Dragon. I'm your Dungeon Master Gustavo Sorolla,

and I'm going to hit our four players with an arrow. Hey guys, I just had a thought. I think we're good on no more plushes. We've got all the good ones made. You know, everyone who's got, who needs a plush made as a plush. We got them. True.

Technically four have been made, because I've got gumbo in one hand and mud in the other hand, so I think we're good. He is so tiny. I love him so much. What do you think, audience? You think we're good? I think we're good.

I think we're good. No more stuffies. Jokes on you, John, this is audio podcast and no one can see it. See what? See what, Chris? I don't know. Nothing. Oh, you almost fell down to his trap.

I rolled a one. Five. 17. Ten. All right. So it looks like we've got John with the 17, then Doug with the 10, Gunther with a five and Tov with a one. Tov, I feel like you've had some bad roles lately for hours.

Yo-hoo. No, no, not yet. Not yet. Last. More like boo-hoo. Oh, boo-hoo. Bo-hoo. It's me, Tov, I'm last.

The back of the line. You should you don't want mine? Get out of here. This week's arrow question is for what play would you audition and what role would you want? And that's submitted by Algae. Oh, great question. I feel like that's like the Algerawks child's fun nickname. Like Algarok Jr.

Algae. Before we get into the answers to the question, I do want to point. I don't know how often we mention this except at the end of the episode, but where are people asking these questions, Gus? Asking. Oh, what a great question, Barbara. Were they asking? Where are they asking these questions? I don't know why I said it like that, but you know.

These are taken from members of our Patreon at stinkyjragonpod.com. And as part of that, you can join our Discord. and you can submit questions like this. I thought we were just asking people on the streets. You go to our Patreon, stinky dragonpod.com. That's right. Stinky dragonpod.com. And you can submit your own arrows.

When do we tell Blaine we've all been getting paid for this and he hasn't for a while? Well, you guys make money? He just been on the street waiting for people to ask him questions. Everyone makes money. You just make funny. There is. That's good.

That's a shame the episode hasn't started yet. That would have been inspiration. John, you're up. Hi everybody. I'm John Reisinger and I play Natty Wonder, who is a drow, warlock, drag queen, mother of the bringer of the apocalypse, and generally all around good gal. Yes, yes, yeah, very good gal. If I were to audition for a play, I'm going to take this a step further.

I'm going to say it's going to be a musical. I know plays denoted just talking. But if I'm going to be in a play, there's going to be music, whether or not I've seen the script. So we might as well make it a musical. And I was thinking about this, and you know what? I was listening to an album the other day, and it just got stuck in my head. It's like, I want to be in the musical hair because I heard these two gentlemen singing a song from hair.

Go on. And it just sounded like a really fun show. The way these guys performed it, this duet of theirs, it seemed really good. And so, yeah, I want to be in hair. But, like, you ask, like, what role? And I just want to do all the hair. Can I just be that role? Can I just be in charge of all the hair?

And not just behind the scene, I want to come out on stage and do hair as well. So I'd just be constantly, you know, giving people more hairspray and body and, and, and blowouts and all that kind of stuff. I think there's another musical could be in called Hairspray. You could do a double feature, Natty. Yeah. What a creative answer, Natty. Why do you sound spooky? A creative answer.

Sad, blest. He's sulking. No leave. Boo-hoo. He's boo-hoo told. So yeah, that's what I do. I want to do hair. Oh, that's fun.

You ever heard of it? Gustavo. I may have heard of it. I may have been cursing that musical for a week or two a couple months ago. Oh, yeah. There's a mouth full of words in that song. Yeah. Another benefit of joining our Patreon is hearing Gustavo sing that song from hair.

Benefit. Making that word stretch a little bit. Join in spite of it. All right. Thanks, Natty. Appreciate that. Next up, Doug Boone. Hello, everyone. It's Barbara Dunkelman playing Doug Boone, the artificer Bug Bear. And so there is actually this play that I've heard of that I think Doug would be perfect for. To the point where I don't think Doug even needs to audition.

I think they would see me and see me interact with things and know that I'm perfect for any role in this play. Because Doug is a little clumsy if you guys weren't aware. And there's a play called The Play That Goes Wrong. where things are falling, set pieces are coming apart. There's all sorts of mischief and madness. And I think Doug just got to show up and be Doug and things will go wrong naturally. So I'm ready for my debut on the stage, put me in coach. It's, I think, a part I was born to play.

You're going to be a Doug in a China shop? I'm so upset by this answer because we were going to go to that play, when you mean and our significant others were out and I was like, we should go to this plane. You're like, we should go to Wicked. I was like, we'll go to Wicked. That's when you're in London, yeah. Yeah, it was great.

Wicked was great. But man, I still think about that play. It's so funny. Yeah, I've never seen it, but I've heard of it. And I heard it's very entertaining to watch. But Wicked was wicked. Wicked. Pretty wicked.

I hear they made a movie out of it. If I could sidebar about Doug for a moment here, you know, you were talking about Doug being clumsy. See if I get a little meta here. I think is what I meant to say. Yeah. And so I decided to look at Doug's character sheet and Doug's dexterity is 14. And I thought, oh, that's not that clumsy.

Then I compared you to everyone else in the party and you're the least dexterous. This is a very dexterous party that we've got going on here. Very dexterous. Yeah. Don't Doug is, I think it's because I got these like big old hands and big fingers. It's like, you know, you know when you're like trying to dial something on something and like you're pressing all the wrong buttons and stuff like that. It's just little things where, you know, I'm still trying to figure it out.

But if I try to work on, you know, electronics or some type of invention, then for some reason that I can really finesse that. You can do it. Your fongers become fingies. Fongers. I don't like that. I don't like that. I love the word fongers.

I've never heard someone say that in my whole life. I feel like someone would call me that in rage. All right. Thanks to Doug. Next up, Hunter. Hi, I'm Christopher Smyr. Gunther, the male crook-folk fighter. And for me, I would audition for the play Cats.

Oh. I've never seen this play. But I imagine it would help me. I would get insight into the mind of a predator of birds. Oh. And then also, I think... Hey, Gunther, do you know how many names cats have? I have a name of a character.

I was going to play, but I don't know how many names. How many names do cats have? Go watch the show and you'll learn. They tell you in the first song. Oh, well, the one I would play, I think because of the name, is Monkastrap. It's a good name. It's also a baritone. Oh, you feel like that's in your range?

Yes. I don't think you're a baritone. Sorry, you're a bit of a musical person over here. I don't think with that voice, I think you might. might be a bass. I see it was more of a rum-tom tugger. That's what I was thinking, Toll. I was thinking the same thing.

I'm glad you said it. Yeah, yeah. So is it a whole, like, enemy of my enemy as my friend kind of deal with cats and birds going on here, Gunther? Yeah, I do not particularly am friends with cats, but I'm not against them. I think you just, it's like learning,

learning new ways to hunt. The cats. Strategic alliance, yes. Yes. I want to see Gunther learn to like use retractable claws in his hands me now

I want that as an alert on my phone all right thanks Gunther and finally oh Tov ooh ho it's me it's Toll I've been waiting all day to answer this question I've been doing the peepee dance outside of the interview room

so ready Where am I? Oh hey it's Bling Gibson I play Tov the male thumbtick barbarian And as far as a play that I would want to participate in, I think I would be perfect for the Ten Man and the Wizard of Oz. And I want to clarify, not wicked, because that guy sucks, okay? He is filled with rage.

He is a really mean character. You're a barbarian. Well, I can still be a friendly barbarian. But anyways, I think I'm going to play The Ten Man. And yeah, I think I could just, I could be naked on stage. I'm costume, I'm warjo-breddyed, no makeup needed. Just shine me up with your turtle vaks. You know, it's funny, I was also considering having my answer be auditioning for Wizard of Oz.

Yeah. And you could, I mean, obviously guess which character I would audition for. The Oz! I mean, guys, clearly it would be Toto. Toto, oh, okay. Woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof. You would be a very large toto. Ha, ha, ha.

Or Dorothy, you know. There's no place like home. Yeah. I was thinking you would be the Wizard of Oz because he makes contraptions. Oh, but he's not a nice guy. He makes contraptions. What does he make? Contraptions.

What a fun motley collection. And maybe we could get all of you to play all your respective characters in one mega musical with hair. Cats, the Tin Man, all in the play that goes wrong. Yeah. Now I'm trying to think, like, us is the cast of Wizard of Oz. You'd have Natty as Dorothy, Tov is the Tin Man. Doug is the lion. And I guess Gunther is the scarecrow.

He's scared birds. Just like scarecrow. Hey, I'm missing a brain. I'm just kidding. That's a joke. The best jokes are followed up with. That was a joke. That was a joke.

And as you're looking at the golden rod, disappearing back into the ceiling, everyone except Gunther, there's some motion in the water slide that catches your attention. You see almost like a reflective image in the water, a beast of some kind looking at you. In the water at the bottom of the water slide or the water like rushing through the water slide? The water rushing through the water slide. Could I go up and take a closer look? Yeah, you go up and as you're approaching. approaching it, the beast begins like pacing back and forth, and then it slowly steps out

from the water before you. And it appears to be like a large fusion of three different beasts made up of some kind of multifaceted glass. Oh, the chimera. It's three-headed, two-winged, and one-tailed. And it looks at you, Doug, locks eyes with you, and with all of its heads, lets out a cacophonous, hideous animal roar. The chimera emerges from the reflective surface of the water slide, bone dry, catching you all by surprise.

The chimera looks like a weird amalgamation of different creatures. Its left head and hind quarters are that of a bison. Its center head and four quarters are that of a raptor. And its right head and tail are that of an ostrich, all with the wings of a mantaray. Oh, dear gosh. As the chimera emerges from the water slide and looks around the room, the gold chasers begin running away as quickly as they can out of the room. I have a question.

When the chimera emerged, did it go, because it was coming down a water slide? Did not get entertained is having a great time? Tell you what, why doesn't everyone roll me a D20? Okay. Just a standard D20? Yeah. To see if it had fun.

Is that what we're doing? Um, we'll call this luck. Five. Two. Eleven. Twelve, which, as you know, when Tov rolls it, isn't at 12. Like a Nat 20. Match 12.

Yes. The chimera whoops around very rapidly, lashing its tail out at the four of you. Why doesn't everyone make me a dexterity saving throw? The tail of an ostrich to be specific, right? Yeah, it has to get real close. I was going to say, it's mostly feathers. Oh, it feels so good on my face.

Oh, that's a good one. A six. Saving throw, 21. I had a nine and then a 17. Seven. So 12 and Natty. As the tail whips around and lashes out at the four of you, Natty, or John, making your comment about the ostrich tail, something about the light glistens off of it, and you realize that the tail is covered in mirror shards. Oh, mirror.

And it slashes at all of you. Those of you who fail your saving throw take 21 points of piercing damage. Oh, gosh. Those of you who succeed, take half, so we'll round down and take 10. Uh-chee-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-all- right. It's 21? Yes, Gunther, Aga O. And falls down.

Oh no. Aga O? Oh. You said there's shards of mirror in its tail? Yeah, like it's covered in it, yeah. Is it, does it look like those? Timirera. That's what I was thinking.

Like, are those part of its tail, or does it look like it collected those or, like, got hit with those? Make a nature check for me, Douglas? 12? 12. From what you can tell, you know, as it flashes by, you think it's all part of it. Okay. And it's just the tail that has it, not the full body? It's like composed of some kind of like diamond hard, multifaceted glass, the entire chimera.

Gotcha. After spinning around and lashing out at you all, the chimera looks around the room regarding it. Doug, with your nature check there, you think it's a little bit of your nature check there, you think it's It's got an angry look on its face. Then it walks back to the water slide. It's gonna go again. Shudders near the mouth of the water slide, then very quickly takes off in a run towards the western wall,

towards the painting of the treasure vault, and jumps through the painting. Oh. Whoa. Mario style. Yeah, and as you're looking at the painting, it seems like it changes. You know, you saw that it would look like a treasure vault a second ago,

kind of wobbles a little bit. And then it's almost like, from your point of view, it falls down onto the floor and is now face down facing the floor. Took care of that problem. It's trapped now. Can't get back out. I need to roll a giggy check. Okay.

I wonder where that went. To see if you'll go and peek at the other side of the painting. Okay. 18, that's a positive, so I'd say he won't. Okay. Good boy. But that was a thought, though, in my head is that I would want to look to see.

And I was like, all right, intrusive thoughts, I apply to giggy. I appreciate it. Oh. Could I go help Gunther? Chris, nice role playing. I like it. Quiet down, Gunther, please.

We're looking at paintings. We're admiring art. Yeah, Doug. What do you want to do? Could I go help him up and then cast cure wounds? Yeah. I'll do it at the second level because he's very hurt. Okay, that'll be 13 points of healing.

Oh, yes, thank you. Oh, you're welcome. That's happened weird. Sorry, they're not mean to make it Weird, Doug. Yep, that did. I'm glad you said it. I think I accidentally, like, pop something back in place,

so I get it, you know, feeling good. Oh, me next. I'll have what he's having. Can I just not cast the spell, but could I just go and try to, like, crack Tolps back? Oh, yes. That felt good.

I think I broke a fuse or something like that in there. I don't know. Take you, Doug. I apologize for falling down. If not, I'm only at half my strength. strength at the moment. That's okay. We'll get you back in ship shape.

Tip top ship shape. What is it phrase? I can tell you, Barbara, we're so not confident with the end of that idiom. Ship shape. Ship shop tip tape. Yep tape. Thank you, Tov.

Why are you only at half of your abilities, Gunther? I have made a sacrifice. Was it to your deity? Perhaps yes. Not in between us, not you. Note to self. When did you do that? Two episodes ago.

Girl, we need to go out for drinks and talk about this. You've got relationship issues that we need to get to the bottom of. Speaking of deities, with a click and a were the golden rod reappears from the ceiling. Hey, buddy. Oh, look what you've done. What we do? What do we do? What do we do?

You have locked the way to the treasure. can't get there anymore. What am I supposed to do? Put the map back up or the painting. We could just stand back up. Also, we had no involvement in that coming down, by the way. Yeah, that was the chimera. The chimera. So just to be clear, the painting in this room is still in the same orientation. But the view you see is no longer of the vault. You see the floor through the painting.

Wait, wait, wait, wait. We're playing with portals here. Oh, it's not face down? Right. It's like the other side of the portal got put down. onto the floor. Oh. Oh, so like, okay, so they went on the other side, knocked down the painting on that side, and so the port... Right. No, you all are the cause of this. And with that, the golden rod begins pouring water, like profusely, just water starts flowing out from the golden rod all over you, Doug. Oh, gosh.

And you feel like your joints start to stiffen up a little bit. Oh, geez. And everyone else can see that Doug slowly from his... his feet to the top of his head is turning into solid gold. Oh, no. Phil E! Oh my God, you look fabulous. We have to help.

Oil. Oil. Oh, you can. Can Nadi go rush over and put the painting back up? You can't. The painting in this room is still up. It's the corresponding one on the other side that's down. So imagine you're playing portal, right?

And then the thing that the other portal is out is turned down. Yeah. Okay. Turn down for what? Stop, stop. What do you want? We'll give you other things other than Doug. We'll give you gold. Gold? How much gold? All of it. Whatever. I don't know about all. And where am I meant to put it if I can't get to my treasure vault?

Will Gitties back up? Hey, where is your treasure vault? Because we could go there and we could fix the portal. The vault is at the top of Kamiura keep. It's where the Kamiro makes its layer. Okay, so to recap, this is just a shortcut. It's not like across the world. It's literally in the same building, and your door just got jammed to get directly there. There's no elevator, and gold is heavy.

I don't know what you're getting at, as if I'm lazy here. He's got a point there. Gold's really heavy. It actually is. It's quite a heavy metal. How old do you know? You have a gambling problem. I mean, okay, I think that this isn't easy enough.

issue to fix. We can just stop pouring molten gold on Doug here. He looks fantastic, but I don't want him to die. This is kind of painful. Just so you know, so I'm painting the picture correctly. It's water that's flowing over Doug. But Doug is turning into gold

as the water is flowing over him. Well, yes, but we can fix it. We will put it back, but we need Doug to do it. Could I try, like, moving out of the way of those? You can't. You are solid gold, Doug. The golden Doug. His catchphrase is literally, I can figure it out.

You need this guy for this job. Stop putting him into the gold form. And the other phrase is, I got a heart of gold and it's coming to fruition. Oh, no. All right, fine. Though it settled, you will restore access to the vault and I will free your friend.

But you free your friend first. Uh, you drive a hard bargain. And with that, it's almost like the golden rubber versus the direction of the water. And it comes back up out of Doug. and Doug restores himself into his normal furry self. Oh. Whoa, that was intense.

I think that gold had a little bit of a moisturizing effect because you look lustrous now. You are glowing, my goodness. Is it kind of, do I have any, like, remains of the gold on myself? Like, you know, and you're out in the snow and the little, like, snowflakes are just dusting you and it looks all magical and beautiful. Is that Doug with the gold?

No, but your teeth are gold. Oh. I'm kidding. I'm kidding, I'm kidding. Just one tooth, one tooth. One tooth. Yeah, we'll give you one tooth. You have one remaining gold tooth.

I like that. I have a question about this chimera. What do you know of it and how can we defeat it? Make a persuasion check for me, Gunther. 14. Oh, the chimera is ferocious and can take many forms. It can also move. It can mew? Like a cow?

Mew. You begin getting covered with water and Toll turns to gold. The chimera can also transport itself through reflective or translucent surfaces. Toll's your gold. Does that mean it could come through Toll's? Ooh, what a wise question, my furry friend. Is it going to be like the chestburster kind of situation here? The golden rod reverses the water and Toll is no longer gold.

Do you have a gold twos? No, you have nothing. What is there anything it is afraid of? Oh, yeah, like super effective attacks against it. We don't know as of yet. We have not been able to defeat it, so we cannot say. So what is your relationship with the chimera? Because it seems like you occupy the same space, you know, chimera keep.

So you must encounter it, like, a lot. Do you have any, like, super sweet tips or tricks? Give like a game guide or something, cheat codes. We have been unable to defeat it, so as of yet we do not know. What does it want? Besides just to knock over art. It desires peace and quiet. I feel that. It was probably your loud noises that drew it here and angered it to begin with,

which is why this is all your fault. Okay, I'm starting to see your logic on this one. Yeah. Now hurry, go restore access to my treasure. Okay, well, you said that's at the top of the keep? Yes. Okay, then what's the quickest way to get there? Because, you know, we're trying to do this for you, so you might as well help us.

The stairs? Well, that seems to make sense. Which stairs? Do I have to do everything for you? Ugh, the agreement is you figure it out. There are many ways to get there. Now, it's just go and do it. Okay, okay.

Gosh. Seems like we got a bit of a stealth mission on our hands. Yes. And with that, the golden rod disappears back into the ceiling. What a jerk. Time to go upwards. Yes. Do we want to attempt to walk up the water slide?

Who is team leader? Doug, I believe. I think it's still Doug. I think it is still Doug. I think it's time we change that. So just to, before you change, then, just to recap this specific room, and to kind of go back into what Tolfa's saying there, there is this water slide to the northwest that,

that the chimera appeared from. In addition to that, there's a corridor to the west, which is how you all entered this room to begin with. And there is a tunnel to the east, which is kind of dark and drafty. That tunnel to the east interests me for some reason. Anybody want to just check out that tunnel real quick? I'm curious what that draft is.

Yeah, let's do it. Nat, Natty walks over to the east tunnel. Yeah, you're still team leader, Doug. Before we could, I could still use, I'm still, I do not want to be a liability. I might need a short rest. Oh, I have an idea. If you want to not be a liability,

starts worshiping a different god, how does that sound? Got him. Do we have the opportunity to take a short rest here? Yeah, that's up to you guys. That's up to you, Mr. Team Leader. Yeah, you know, Gunther,

I want you to be able to be a tip-top shape. Ship, shop, ship, ship, ship, shape, shop, shop. Yes. So let's go ahead and take a short rest here. Take a couple deep breaths, maybe do some stretching. Perfect. This episode is brought to you by Accenture.

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Like an AI solution that works for you, not against you. SAP Grow is built with AI embedded at its core, working across every system. And it's ready to go from day one so you can hit the ground running. Bring it with SAP Grow, AI Cloud ERP for any size business. As you are taking your rest, you notice two animals walk into the room sniffing around. Looks like they have a wolverine body with a mane of pine green hair and a long tongue. What's the face look like? It's hard to see because a lot of the fur and the hair is like hanging over the face.

So you can't really see the face itself, but you do see a tongue sticking out, dripping saliva. It's like a zigzagoon? Can I go up to it? Yeah, it seems like startled, almost like it didn't realize you were there at first. And it backs off, the two of them back off, begin growlough. It's okay. We're not predators. We're just passing through. Don't want to cause any problems. Don't want to fight you. Everything is okay. Make an animal handling check for me, Douglas. I'm going to use my inspiration die. Inspiration die.

That was the three, so here comes the inspiration die to save the day. 20. Nice. All right. Okay. Yeah. They seem, they seem, they, they, they, they seem, they, they, they, they're going to be a lot. were like all the muscles in their body were super tense, but as you kind of talk to them in a calming, soothing voice, seems like their muscles relax a little bit. And they begin slowly backing away from you back towards the eastern corridor. Hey, Doug, you seem to have a good rapport with them. Why don't you see if they could guide us a little bit to our destination? I'll give it a shot. I don't know if they speak our languages though, but... Well, they seem to be calmed by your voice and presence.

We could always use more familiars, dog. That's true. I've never full enough of people we've got to keep track of here. Well, gentlemen, do you happen to know how to get to the closest staircase going upwards? Are the beatboxing, my God, beautiful. If I'm understanding Morse code, I was dot-dash, dot, dot, dot, dash, dot, dot, dash, dot, dash, dot, dash. No hesitation. I love it.

Did the chimera, when they like swiped at any of us, did they leave like a shard of glass or like hair or a feather? Just any sort of remnant of the chimera around. There's a pile of poop. I mean, I'll take it. Yeah, if they got that. Let's do it. We're trying to incorporate some new mechanics and doing things a little differently. Roll me a D20. Let's call it a luck check.

D20. 14. Yeah, you see a small shard of glass, like a little bit of mirror that must have broken off of the tail as it swiped at you. Nice. Okay, so I grabbed the mirror and I pull out a bit of ration kit and kind of going along with like what Doug is going after. I'd be like, you know, I hold it in front of them. You know, kind of like, where did it go?

Where's the chimera? This is what you look like. Could Doug maybe you also try to imitate the animal that we saw, or the chimera as well as Toll was doing that to like try to get them to piece the puzzles together? Now, you guys playing charades with these things? Is that what you're doing? Yes. Okay.

Doug, why don't you remind me, what did the chimera look like? Well, I'm very happy you asked that, Gustavo, because it looks like different creatures, a bison, a raptor, ostrich, wings of a manteree, and then the tail, of course, has shards of mirror in it. That's really good. Why don't you make me an animal handling check then for your performance there, Doug? Thirteen? Thirteen.

They get a, obviously, they get a whiff of the... the piece of mirror that you're waving in front of them told, and they see Doug doing an excellent pantomime of the chimera. And Gunther makes you a little scared based on what happened last time. You deserve to be on Broadway. The two creatures seem to get excited and make a bee line for the painting, and they start excitedly pawing at it. They might be babies.

Oh, okay. Can we try to pick up the painting or like, do you guys want to try to go through here or something like that? Maybe that's what they're telling us. Yeah, I mean, my understanding is correct. Like, the painting is on the wall, but the view is of the ground where the next painting portal is.

Correct. So, like, I can only imagine that at best we could try to pry the edges and see if we could, like, lift the very portal that we are trying to go through open, but I don't feel like that's going to work. Yeah. Then the two animals then take off running

towards the water slide excited. They're going to have fun. I think they might be babies of it. Like chimera babies. Yes, they are different things mixed together and they seem to get excited. Oh, such a shape we have to kill its mama. Not necessarily. Or maybe.

I think it will kill us if I'm being honest. That's very true. Is the water slide go up? Usually a slide would like, I mean, if you wanted to climb a slide, you'd be able to because it would be somewhere that's elevated, right? The slide comes down. It's an ascending water slide tube, but the water goes up. The water flows up?

Yeah, it doesn't make any sense. What's your idea at all? If the water goes up, then we could potentially float up through this slide. But if not, I have a backup plan for how we can climb this. We all float down here. Very good, anyways. The animals run away out towards the western corridor that you all came from. Okay, oh, okay, I throw my rations at them.

They seem to ignore it, and they just run past. Great waste of rations, cool. We wanted to go through that. I did want to say we wanted to go through that one corridor where the kind of air was coming out. But also, like, this seems like an upward direction if that one doesn't pan out. So maybe that could be plan B. Team leader? You know, I want to do what Tov wants to do.

Okay. Well, then, I mean, we can go up the slide, then if that's what we want to do. I think we should give it a shot. I mean, the water's going up. To me, it makes sense. Okay. Gunther, are you recovered? Yes, I'm good.

Let's go. All right. Let's go. Got the runs and jumps into the slide. Gunther's very excited. The water slide, you know, it's an ascending water slide tube that has rushing fresh water. It seems impossible for the water to be ascending like this. Gunther, you jump in.

So the other three of you see Gunther dive in and disappear up the water slide tube as it spirals up. Now we got rid of that guy. I'll follow. Toll dives in. What does that sound like, Cole? It'll be more pneumatic like when you go to the bank and they have the tube. bit of a little. Nice. I guess we're all going if we're going to stay together.

Shall we? Bug bears first. Doug and then Natty. What does it sound like when you dive in, Doug? He doesn't quite get pulled in and Natty has to push him in a little bit. And Natty, what does that sound like when you dive in? Natty jumps in and he just hear her go. Yeeha.

Yeeha. All right. Everyone go ahead and make me Constitution saving throws. Oh, no. Are we going to be turned to gold? 21 rolling hot today 20 24 17 Everyone rolled really well there

You dive into the water slide And it's very violent It spins you around Up is down, down is up, you tumble through it And it makes you really queasy But you manage to maintain your composure All four of you a pretty quick succession One after another

Emerge on the other end of the water slide Well from your perspective You're just in water You're in a big body of water. Gunther, you went in first. What do you do? Well, does it in somewhere? Yeah, like the water slide has spit you out into like a pool,

but you're at the bottom of the pool, essentially. Think of it that way. I'll look around because I can see you move around pretty well in water. Do I see anything stick out? If not, I'm going to swim up. Yeah, any lily pads? Make me a perception check, Gunther. 11.

It appears to you looking around. You know, you have some experience in doing this kind of thing. Like you're at the bottom of a lake of some kind of. Oh. And you look around and you see a couple of barrels on the bottom of the lake with something glistening in them. Okay, swim to the barrel and see what's up. Yeah, do you have any like special ability to like hold your breath or to operate underwater? It's not listed in my character sheet.

Okay, I just want to jerk if you anything. So you swim over and you see four barrels that appear to be cracked like they've been down here and they've been worn for a bit. And like I said, there is like glistening, almost like the glistening, almost like the glistening. like the glistening of gold in them. Oh, can't try and swim it up to the top? One of them? You mean like carry one up to the top? Yeah, there's it too heavy.

Like the barrel? Uh, make me a strength check. Five. You try to lift it up and it's just like, between the fact that it's partially embedded in the ground and all the weight of the water and whatever's in it, it just, it really doesn't budge. I'll take my wafting warp pick and smash the barrel. Yeah, you take your pick out and... you swing, you know, it's a little difficult to swing underwater, but you manage to swing your

war pick and strike at the barrel, and it splinters open. Revealing 61 gold pieces. I guess I'll take them if I can. Yeah, you reach out and start collecting the gold pieces, and this is when everyone else kind of enters the bottom of the lake as well, one after the other. You jumped in first with a little bit of lead time, so give a little bit of time there, the other three of you also emerge. All of you, you know, when you emerge, you feel a little queasy, you're kind of turned around and you're at the bottom of this body of water. You look around and you see Gunther smashing open a barrel, starting to pick up gold pieces.

But Gunther, as you're collecting these gold pieces, something's weird about them. They change. Oh. All of a sudden you're surrounded by a school of fish. Ooh. You thought they were gold pieces, but it's actually... They're goldfish! Small fish.

And they begin swimming around you very quickly, pecking at you. I'm gonna try and swim up and get out. Yeah, you swim up to the surface. Yeah, from the other perspective of you, other three, you see Gunther being followed by a school of fish that are, like, swimming around him. And he's swimming up to the surface. Oh, Gunther's making friends.

Oh, the other than Gunther's making friends. Yeah, Natty would start swimming up to the surface. Same with him. And Doug. And taking Giggy with her. And Doug, right? Well, my hand. And taking Doug.

And Giggy would grab Doug. Okay. Thank you. Could Tov take the barrel, not smash it open, and take it to the top? He can breathe under water. because I have Storm Salt. I wonder if the gold...

I wouldn't know that the gold fish turned from gold to goldfish. Yeah, you want to go over and try to pick one up? May I make a strength check? Sure. Ooh, 19. And make me a perception check as well. Six.

Okay. It's really heavy, but you manage to heave up and pull one of the barrels out from the floor of this lake and carry it up to the surface. You need to be, and everyone will say, is on the floor. there. Gunther, you managed to eventually escape your newfound friends. Yeah. I found some loot. Gunther, make me a perception check. Okay. 13? You think you're missing some gold.

Oh, you're missing 61 pieces of gold. Oh, clever gher, fishies. Clever guffies. Tov, you managed to pull your barrel out to the surface and it's filled with gold. T'orv, be careful. That It is not gold. It is gold fish, and they will steal from you. Okay. Can I take one piece of gold out? I mean, it's in a barrel, so they're kind of, you know, fish in a barrel, you know what I mean? Yeah, you take a piece of gold out. Okay, put it in my pocket. Yep. You got add one piece of gold to your inventory.

Seems fine to me. I don't know what you're freaking out about, little guy. Be careful in the water. Oh, so maybe when I go back into the water, that's when... Okay, then I wade out back into the water with my new gold piece. Yeah, there's gold. Okay, great. I'm nothing wrong here. Everybody load up on gold. How much gold in the 40 something? 46.

46 divided by four. It's me scrambling for a calculator. You don't need a calculator for that. What? 11.5. So everybody gets 11 gold pieces. A round it up to 12. You want for some of us. I was going to give the rest to Gigi.

You know, he's... I'll take 11. I'll take 11, too. Thank you very much. Well, Natty needs more than most of us. No, Natty doesn't need any. Y'all keep misconsturing Natty's lack of need of monetary wealth as Natty has a gambling problem. Listen, you haven't been to the clubs in a while.

You haven't done your circuit. You haven't been in any shows recently. I know work is hard right now. So we're on the shores of Chimira Lake. You find yourselves on the shore of a forested lake with the scent of cedar in the air. You hear distant singing, and this lake appears to be a pristine lake of freshwater fish. There's fog that lingers at the top of tall evergreen trees on either side of the lake to the west and the east, and a rocky rushing river mouth to the north that feeds into this lake.

Where's the keep? I don't know. Maybe you're still in the keep. Maybe not. Ceiling. Tell me about a ceiling. Is there a ceiling, or is there sky? Yeah, there's a sky. Well, you look up, actually, and you see fog at the top. of the tall evergreen trees. Okay. So we're outside. So would it be accurate in saying that fog is kind of limiting our...

Your line of sight? Visibility? Visibility, yeah. But is that what it is? Like, we can't quite see the edge. It's hard to see. The fog is lingering at the tops of the trees. Okay.

It appears like it down to the southeast. You see descending stone steps. Descending as in the steps go down? Correct. Into the ground. It's hard to say. Well, like... They descend into the southeast.

the distance, yeah. Like, they don't go underground. It's like descending off into the distance. Yeah, the perspective goes off and you can't see where they're going. Correct. Yeah, I didn't realize you meant like underground. It's just communication. People talk different. Last question. Really quick. Singing. What direction? Make a investigation check. Plus one. So that's nine. Yeah, it seems like it's coming somewhere from the tree tops. It's really hard to make out. It's almost like it's kind of echoing around. I say we climb the tree. See where we are. What if there's birds up there?

Then we are better in their house. You know, I don't know what that sentence meant like. I don't know what that means. Could you break that down for me, Google? We are better where we are in their territory and they have to defend themselves. We could push eggs. I mean, they have home field advantage, though, wouldn't you say?

No, they have home field advantage where they can dive on. From trees. With a loud crack, one of the trees starts falling near you guys. Everyone make a dexterity saving throw. Oh my God. It's gonna crush you. Dirty 20. 15.

11? I'm glad we didn't climb that one. 18. Yeah, you all managed to dive out of the way as a tree falls where the four of you were standing just moments before. And all four of you hear giggling in the distance. Okay, Natty is going to send Gigi after the giggling. Gigi, get those gigglers. Make a giggy check. See if he listens to you.

Charlie's in the trees. 11. That's good, right? That's enough. Okay. It's over 10? Yes. Is that the Gigi check?

Okay. Yeah. Giggy begins running into the distance. Gigi-gigig-gilling. Guys, there's something in those trees, and it ain't no man. The trees are pretty tall. They're like 60-foot-tall cedar trees with bluish green leaves and reddish-brown bark. And do we see the end of them and what's, or do they like kind of, kind of,

They have blueish gray droops and the fog that seems to linger at the top of the trees. And again, it sounds like singing or giggling. Giggy reaches the base of one of the trees and begins looking around, almost like sniffing the ground, trying to find the source. Okay. Gunther, climb a tree, the one that Gigi's looking at. Yeah. You run up to the tree and begin trying to climb it.

What is that, an athletics check? Athletics or acrobatics? I don't know. Yeah, I'm kind of split. I feel like a go either way. We'll do, I know it's better for you, so we'll do acrobatics. Yes. Thanks, Gus. Go right into your trap. 13. And the way Gunther climbs, he uses his tongue as a, both a thing to help, he spits it out,

laps of a thing, and uses that as to help him climb and also as a support so he can't fall. That's pretty cool. Wow. Off-brand Spider-Man. You begin climbing the tree without too much difficulty, and you make good progress going up to the top. And as you're climbing up in the tree, the singing seems to get louder and louder. It's hiding up here. Make me an investigation check, Gunther. 13.

You get near the top and you think you see someone up there. You see what appears to be an old woman hiding behind the other side of the tree with just her eyes peeking out looking at you. Humanoid? Yeah, a humanoid-looking woman. Not-thode-looking? No. Come down from that tree.

Get down from that tree. Can I gesture for the geistful? Yeah, describe the gesture to me. Well, I'm holding on with one hand in my tongue, and then he goes, oh, okay. So I'm going to, I'm going to point in and wave towards me and then point up and then do make a little humanoid person with my fingers, like two fingers down, two fingers up. Like, shir-oh, he's playing charades. He's playing charades. How many syllables?

You all see Gunther gesticulating bizarrely up in the tree. Hey, Gunther, we can hear each other from this distance. If you wanted to tell us with. Yeah, Gondor, you could just tell us. Yeah. His tongue, he's using his tongue. But we can still hear you with the, yeah, go ahead, go ahead. He does, also, guys, he doesn't have to use his tongue.

He has arms and legs. Well, you described it that way. He's just going like this. There is a singing woman. They're the thinging woman, he says. A thinging woman. What is she singing about? Yeah, what does she look like?

Old. She's got a checkered face and a toadstool body, green with yellow polka dots, And she's wearing a jerkin made of felt. How far is she from you, Gunther? Pretty close, Gunther, 10 feet maybe? Gunther, and gestures five, five. Okay. And point the direction she is?

55, she's 55. 55 is not that old. Gunther points up. He says he's number one. Natty shoots an Eldridge blast that direction based off of his triangulation. Oh. Oh, my God. Yeah, go ahead and...

This woman dropped a tree on us, okay. Okay. Shots fired. Do you have to make a roll for that? Yeah, an attack roll. Is that 16 plus? Where's Eldridge Blasts? Plus seven.

That's a 23. Okay, yeah, that hits. Okay. Out of kindness, because it is an old lady, Tov will run to the base of the tree to try to catch. Roll for damage? Yeah. Six.

Force damage. Gunther, to your horror, you see Natty pull out her finger pistols and shoot an Eldridge Blast. It sizzles through the air flying really close to your face. impacting this trail old woman in the tree top. Knocking her out of the tree. No. I got it. I got it.

Make a, make a dexterity saving throw. Okay. We have a saying back where I come from, it goes, Natty around and find out. Roll the one, but I saved it because I have advantage. So I rolled a 16. The one would have been funnier. That would have been really funny. It would have been pretty funny.

funny. I wish I always just stood to the one, yeah. Yeah. She falls very rapidly towards the ground, told you run to try to catch her. You stumble a little bit, kicking a rock, but you quickly regain your composure. And with a dive, you catch her before she's able to hit the ground. Oh, thank you,

dearie. Of course, of course. Let me give you a hug. Guys, I've got her. I also hope we do not recast this character. Why would you say that, Barbara? You got such a beautiful voice, even the way you speak is beautiful and very sing-songy.

Melodic? Is that a word? Melodic? Yeah. Anything can be a word if you want it to. Svizzle-duzzle. Svizzle-duzzle-dizzle. Hey? Yeah, swizzle-drizzle.

Why'd you throw a tree at us? That was my grandchildren. The ones who made the tree fall on us? Yes. Oh, okay. Where are they at? Somewhere safe. Somewhere over the rainbow.

You jumpy. What's your name? You can call me Grammy fungus. Grammy. Oh my God. There's a cream for that. Guys, I can't come into work today. I got the Grammy fungus.

Can I do something I've never done before? Yeah, what do you want to do, John? I'm going to use my auto harp. Heck yeah. I've had this new auto harp for so long and I've not used the abilities and it makes me sad every time I read through it. Instead of just straight up intimidation, Natty's going to play, use the action Famous Fable. Ooh. Which basically allows me to kind of do like a bardic thing and I can invent something that an NPC has heard about us or me.

This is an interesting ability. Okay. You might have to confer with Micah on the exact mechanics. of how this succeeds or fails, because that's the end of it, other than it gives an example of what this can be. But Natty plays a song that tells the tale of the four, the five,

the six travelers, five, eight, six, no, no, no, no, the seven,

seven travelers. And Rosalberry. Who, who, who, who, who those who treat them with kindness, find fortune in their future.

and those who treat them with malice, especially with trees, are cursed forever. Okay, so yeah, go ahead and invent the scenario. Yeah, I mean, just what would that be? You want me to make up a song right now? Like I'm Wayne Brady. Yeah, sing the song. Yeah, what's that like to come up with the song on the fly while I'm playing D&D? There was a tale of seven chaps.

they never needed any naps Treat them fair Or you'll get woe They've always fight And win their foe That's it That's all I'm giving you I like the incorporation of woe from Augrey

Into your famous fable No it was more just John said a sentence And then made later John figure out how to rhyme that sentence. That's all I did with Bart. Start with one and then you'll see where it goes. Yeah, you'll know where the next railroad track goes if you just put down one. Yeah.

I kind of want to play a Bard next campaign because this is, this is, sounds terrible. I love it. Me, not infratically, it's so fun. Barth's a great character. Ooh, I have heard to treat you fairly fair travelers. Okay. Yeah, because of the song that you just saying. Shut up, shut up.

So why don't you get your? Your grandchildren's down here so we can talk to them and see what's going on here. Grandchillins. From the treetops, you hear a chorus of voices saying, No, we don't think so. You're going to get cursed. You going to get cursed. Don't make me play the song again.

You can't find us. I've got a very strong grip on Grammy fungus. Uh-oh. My muscles are tinsing and it's getting tired. That sounds like the greased up deaf guy from family guy right now. Do it you have hurt you won't Are you beckoning me to kill your Grammy fungus? Dude

You need to have a talk with these grandchildren of yours Okay, hey, Grammy, are we inside the keep right now still? Because if you couldn't tell by the fact that we're all drenched and dodging trees, we're a little lost and we're on our way to complete a quest for a god. Of course you are in Chimera Key. That's perfect. You got great pitch.

Wow. Have you seen this guy and Doug does his impression of the chimera again? Yeah, Doug's good at this. So, yeah, it's a really solid impression. Did it once. Oh, yes. We have like a, we have like a shape. shifter, performer on the team, but I like Doug

being the chimera. I like it. He's doing interpretive dancing. It makes him feel good. Yeah, that's great. He's got to express himself. It helps. It's healthy. Exactly. Tov, be the wings, be the wings. It's a manta. It's a manta ray. The sound of a manta ray. Gunther's taking notes because he was so bad at it. When you did the knoll.

No, no, when I did the, just trying to gesture with my hands in the tree. Ah, yes. Find the chimera continue climbing the key. Y'all got stairs over there that seem to go down. Is there anywhere in this, we'll call it a room, that goes up? Take the ridges to the north, west or east, either is fine. Okay. You mentioned earlier that they had like a toad body or something.

There were like checkered body. Checkered face, toadstool body, green with yellow polka dots, where's a jerkin made of felt? And speaking of our patrons over at stinky dragonpod.com, this is an NPC that the community helped come up with Micah over on our Discord. If that sounds like something fun or something you'd want to do, head over to Stingodod.com. One of the many features, one of the many benefits. Okay. Well, how about you, how about you, you know, from one parental figure to another, you're doing a good job, okay? I know it's hard.

I know it's difficult and it's just like you're just wrangling monsters, but you're doing a good job. I want to make sure you know that. They told me I could kill her. They said not, they have no care for this woman whatsoever. She's better off coming with us. You ever had a kid?

No, you haven't. I'll answer for you, okay? And it's hard enough without people judging you because kids are going to be kids. You know, you can't control them. None of my kids have ever tried to kill me. He has hundreds of them. All kids are different, okay?

They don't mean that they're just playing. Hey, little kids, I'm going to break your Grammy Fungus's neck. What do you say about that? We're not playing, kill her. Gramey fungus, I mean, this is an issue here. All right, you know what? I've come full circle. I like those kids.

Those are some good kids, okay? I'm doubling down. You're doing a good job, Grammy Fungus. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Get a softer, lighter update. Introducing Old Navy's drapey denim wide leg, a new fit that moves with you. It's everything you want denim to feel like for summer. Easy, breathable, and effortlessly cool.

With a fit that creates natural movement and a wide leg that feels modern, not overwhelming. Plus, that signature, wait, for this price, moment. Old Navy's drapey denim wide leg. Craby fungus, I'm going to let you go. Best of luck, because I don't think you're good. I don't think you long for this world. Natty takes the 11 gold she just got and puts it in Grammy Fungus's hand and says, here, you need help.

Go buy herself something pretty. Yeah, you need help. Ooh, thank you. She takes the 11 gold pieces from you with her left hand. Then with her right hand, she outstretches it in your direction, Natty. And mushrooms begin growing out of her hand. For you. Psychedelic.

Like out of her hand, so I got to pick them off her hand. Yeah. Oh. That's cool. Are these, what are these for? Decorative, edible? Are these children? Are they like grenades?

They are what you make of them. Oh, good Lord, woman. Just tell. She's making you adopt her babies. They are mushrooms. I could tell. Okay. How many do I get?

Guys, how many mushrooms? Three. Okay, I'm pocketing the three mushrooms, and I'm going to wait to use these mushrooms at the most opportune time possible. Naddy, I have something like that too when I hold out my bitt of mushrooms. Mushrooms begin sprouting from it. They're trumpet-shaped mushrooms. They're green with yellow polka dots. They smell like your grandma, Natty.

You don't know what my grandma smells like. Well, these mushrooms do, apparently. Are you my Grammy? No. Okay. All right, team. Well, we've got at least a destination or a direction or at least option to go west or even. She said just go up the ridge.

Let's go. Okay. Up to ridge. Yeah, let's get a little. Oh, last question. Where did those stairs go? Yeah, that's a good question. Those stairs go to the lab.

Lab? Doug. What kind of lab? My friend's a bit of a scientist here. I'm a bit of a scientist, my son. I don't know. Not mushrooms. Well, team leader, where are we going?

Man, I don't know if I could decide in this case. Maybe it's time for me to give up team leadership. I feel like I'm having decision paralysis, too many decisions and too short of a period of time. Gunther, this seems like a job for you. You're giving it back to Gunther? It's just going back and forth. Wait, is you heard it before?

No, never mind, not Gunter. Let's give it to. 12. Me? Oh, I'm so unworthy of this. Okay, let's go. With that, Grammy fungus curtsies, and she goes back to the tree,

and instead of climbing it back up with her head facing the sky, she almost like gets on the tree upside down with her head facing the ground and her feet towards the air, and she climbs up the tree backwards. Weird. Her kids start throwing pine cones and rocks at her.

Good luck. I know you have decision paralysis, Doug, but do you need, like, restocking or anything for, like, lab equipment? Would you like to stop by? Because otherwise we can just keep going up Chimera Key, but I do want to give you this opportunity. I do feel just kind of guilty going, you know, to a place where just, you know,

I am interested in going, but if you guys are okay, making a little pitch stop in the lab. I mean, I like a lab. Okay. We can find use in a lab. There could be like Thermotech things. Okay. Gunther, is that cool with you?

Sure. I am just as bad of a leader because I like to think democratically. All right, we're going to the lab. Bill, Bill, Bill, Bill. the sign of a terrible leader listening to people it was more of a Bakeman's world house but yeah

feel nice good Doug Doug Doug Doug Doug Doug dooboon the science guy You all descend the stone steps to the in the southeastern portion of the room and they slowly continue descending and eventually you find yourself

back in what appears to be what you would traditionally think of like as a key going back to your earlier questions Natty you find yourself in some kind of laboratory or It feels really humid in here. There's a cistern and a shelf with objects.

Well, there's actually two shelves. There's a shelf of objects and a shelf of glass cylinders that seems to contain some kind of specimen. Toll check's a shield. Is there any sign of thomone technology? You take a look at your shield and it does not appear to be glowing. Okay. Oh, and the exits are, of course, to the northwest where you just came from.

And there appears to be a door to the south as well. Okay. Hey, Doug, you want to go check out that specimen? I really do. Okay, let's go over there. Okay, I'll go over there with Nadia. And in the process, Doug, is already taking out his tools as if he's, like, going to do science. He's salivating a little bit.

You guys could just go on your head without me, and I'll just meet back here with you. Doug and Natty, as you, you know, you step through the archway that leads into this room. And as soon as you do, I want both of you two to make me dexterity saving throws. Oh. 11 plus 3, 14. 12. Seemingly out of nowhere, water rushes down from the archway, dousing the two of you, instantly turning you both into solid coal.

Ah, the golden rod in here, not wanting us to do science, is that what's going on? Would toll be able to, without touching them, maybe using some sort of rope or something like that, pull them out of the water flow? Let me read you a little bit of this description, and then I'll let you act on that toll. So this archway, it's a Gothic pointed archway that's bathed in a beam of light from above, and it's ornately carved stonework. And at the top, there's gilded glyphs that drip with condensation at the foot of these ascending stone stairs. So yeah, you want to try to reach in and kind of pull them out of the water there, Tov?

Yeah, using some sort of instrument that I could easily drop. That way I don't, myself, get turned into gold. Yeah, Gunther, make me a perception check. Okay. Oh, sorry, Gus. Five. Five. Okay.

Toll, you reach out and you begin trying to knock Natty and Doug out from the water. And make me a... Just make like an unarmed strike, like an attack roll plus strength plus proficiency bonus. Unarmed strike was a 16. Okay, 16, yeah. You're able to knock them out of the water. Which direction? Do you want to push them into the room or pull them back towards you guys?

Pull them towards me, which is safety. Yeah, you pull them back. towards you. And once they're out of the water, the gold wears off and they reamination. Tov, where did your clothes go? Uh-oh. You guys are seeing Bjorn's birthday suit. I was going to ask, what are we seeing Bjorn or are we seeing actual like false Thomitech Toll? You're seeing Thomitek Toll. Okay. Oh my God. So it was like his skin might constitute his clothes. It's gone. My circuits, my motherboat. Look away.

Where'd they go? took your clothes. Are those little frog toadstool people following us? Not frogs. You hear the voices come from behind you from the room you just left. Natty shoot them with your Eldridge blast quickly.

Murder. Kill on sight. Death. It's too big for us, but we're wearing it anyway. Natty cast Mage Hand to go try to pull the clothes back. So let me get this straight. There's someone, children running around in Bjorn's skin.

No, they're all stacked up on top of each other. Like a trench coat. Oh, Michigan. Body. Yeah, you don't see them right now. You just hear the voices, but presumably it could be either of those. Okay. Yeah, the voices are just coming from somewhere in that other room up the stairs.

Listen, we got to go back that way. Well, maybe we don't. But we do. We'll go get the skin later, okay? Okay. I promise. We're not going to leave this keep without that skin. Hey, my eyes are up here.

Okay. Hey, I have to ask a question. Did you shave his butt? Is that what you? Did you have to shave the whole area? Who, Bjorn's? Yeah. I mean, yeah, it's part of the preservation, you know, keep moisturized, yeah.

He often got complimented for his booty, so I want to honor him. Doug, make me a perception check. 15. You think that there's something about that beam of light in the archway that triggered the trap. You think if you avoid the beam of light, that it would not trigger the water to fall on you. Am I close enough where everyone could hear me if I told them that? Yeah, you're right next to him. Toll pulled you back on that side.

Okay, could I just avoid that beam of light? I think that's what's causing this. Horizontal, vertical beam of light? Vertical. Vertical. Okay, so we seem like kind of shimmy past it. Yeah. Okay.

Then we shimmy past it. I assume, Doug, you resume your walking over to the shelf. You and Natty? Yes, please. Avoiding that beam of light. Natty has also changed her visage to have a lab coat on. Ooh, nice. You'd look around the shelf,

And it appears to be a wooden shelf of plants and animals kept in glass cylinders. There's some gold idols, some living. You take a look at a few? You think they've been like testing, turning living things into gold in here? Well, I mean, if you look at the... I feel like they'll be testing a lot of stuff. I mean, the chimera is definitely a culmination of a bunch of different animals and potentially even objects with the way its tail looked with all the mirror pieces.

So I don't know. There's got to be some experimentation happening here. Guys, do you think they dissect frogs in here? No, goodness, no, hope not. Gunther starts throwing up. But yeah, I definitely would like to take a look. Yeah, you take a look at one of the specimens, and it's a miniature sunflower in a glass of aisle.

Oh. Hey, Gunther, could Doug pick it up and show it to Gunther and say, by any chance, does this look like the wilder flower? Does it? No. No. Okay, never mind. I just, maybe it's a little insensitive of me to assume, flowers look like other flowers and, you know, the wilder flower.

Doug has flower blindness. It's a rare and serious condition, everybody. You take a look at another one, and in another specimen jar, you see what appears to be a solid gold toadstool. Toadstool, Blaine, Toadstool. It's one of, it's one of Gontas family. It's in the name. Thode stool? It's a stool sample.

We should not touch it. I knew someone's going to make a poop joke. I just wanted to quickly ask if the, I don't know if I'd be able to tell this, but is it like the way the toadstool looks gold, does it look like the same type of liquid gold that was pouring on us? Like, could I tell if it's the same kind of consistency? Well, it was water that poured on you, that turned you into gold. Right, I guess that's, you know.

Yeah, this just appears to be, from what you can tell, solid gold. Okay. Okay. Do you think they're trying to synthesize the wilder flower, like make a fake one or something? Well, there's also toots as a mushroom. There's wildflowers not a mushroom. Yeah. Well, the sunflower.

And they said, and there's also animals. I think it's just a bunch of stuff maybe from, that they found in nature and outside and stuff like that. I see. Make an investigation check, Doug. Yes, please. Mr. Investigator. Oh, come on. Oh, sick.

Hey, nanny's there too. Can nattie investigate? Sure. Okay. It's not going to be much better. It's a seven. But come on. That's what they're 13.

All right, rolling for Giggy. Let's see. Giggy rolled in 18. So what did Giggy see? Giggy sees some grandchildren wearing toll skin. They're also standing on top of each other. There's like three tall. It's like three little kids in a trench coat pretending to be an adult.

No, I think you're wrong there, Gus. Nanny looks and Giggy's on top of them and has made them four people. Yeah, exactly. Giggy has joined into the Congo line. Now, as you're putting the gold toadstool back on the shelf, Doug, your hand bumps into something else on the shelf. and knocks it over. And it falls to the ground.

And you see that it was a bent piece of a green armor plate. It seemed like it was floating in the air when your hand hit it. And then as soon as your hand bumped into it, it fell to the ground with a loud clatter. Does this look recognizable to any of us? Doug, you're going to share it with the group? Yeah. Doug, you find it and you turn around with it and you show it to everyone. And Gunther, you recognize it.

It's a green plate armor that's only crafted in fly flats. Is that that's where he's from? Yeah. This is armor of my people. Does it belong to Bun Lap? Maybe he left it behind? It very well could be so. Can you tell if there was like room,

enough room for his muscles and stuff like that? Like if this is the actual piece. I smell it? Does it still smell like him? I'll check. I'll check. You made me do an actual spit take, Barbara. Sorry.

Could be that his, he outgrew it because of muscle. And that's why he still. Oh no, what a problem. It was floating? Yeah, it was just like floating above the shelf and then clattered to the ground once it was bumped into. Is there other pieces floating? Not that you see.

I put something right where that was to see if there was something making it floating or if the armor was, you know, like if it's like a little floating pad. Yeah, you put something there and it just sits on the shelf, unmoving. Maybe if you try equipping it, you can figure out like it gives you some sort of benefit or something. You won't fit in it, you won't play it or whizler, it won't look as good as you as it will on one lab. Is it a full thing in armor or like just a little piece? Just a piece of a plate.

A plate let to be specific. Could Natty, I was, when we came in here and saw that stuff, the thought in my head is look for notes to see if there's signs of whose lab this is. Because we have thus far not, I don't think we've met somebody that strikes me as a lab tech. Yeah, I mean, you look around and, you know, you, re-examine the room and you can, you see, you know, the cistern, the shelf of objects and the shelf of the glass cylinders with the specimens, which you are at, but nothing that seems to really denote who owns it or who it belongs to.

Weird. But there's a door to the south. Yes, and then there's the archway to the northwest, which you all came through, and then a door to the south. Open or close? It's currently closed. Door handle? Yes.

Oh, you. Just to see if it's a closet, Nadi opens the door. You open it up, and on the other side you see a dark and drafty corridor with a collapsed floor. It's about a sheer drop into maybe some kind of tunnel. Then across the collapsed corridor on the other side, you kind of get the faint smell of wine from the other side. Is that where we fell through from the beginning? No, that was outside. Okay.

Okay, that's close. Okay. Because we've now actually gone up. Yeah. And so we're at the... And then you came back down. And then we came down. Ha ha ha.

So do we want to leave the lab and then go up the staircase that grimy fungus told us to go to? Yeah, we can go either way. We can either venture further or retrace and go up the thingies. Have we quite figured out what they're actually trying to do here? I don't know if all the pieces to the puzzle are here. That's your job. Oh, God. I need to spend much more time in here researching.

I mean, I need a proper sample size and I need evidence, you know. Is there anything that we miss? Bjorn takes a passive look around the lab. Is there anything else that we've missed? Sorry, I'm thinking about... They're playing Weekend at Bjornies over there with my father's skin. Nice.

Take an inspiration to I play. We can have Bjornies. That feels like you might have been holding on to that one for a while. No, man. Improv just like... Good. Good job, man. That's what you get when you listen to Tales of Sneaky Dragon.

Top-notch improv. Quality. Just as a reminder, you all at one point did... open a door to a corridor from a room that smelled like wine. I was going to say we, and there was it was, we described, or it was like described as like a dark kind of musty. Correct. So when you all were in the banquet hall, you opened the door.

You didn't end up going through, but there was a collapsed floor there. And that room, the banquet hall did smell of wine. Yes. So the logical leap would be that this eventually connects back to the banquet hall somewhere maybe. Oh, yeah. Because this was, I think, the place that Doug originally was. going to say before we decided to go up the water slide. So like that loop is closed.

I feel comfortable to move on. No, it's not. No? No, because he's talking about when we were down with Claudia. Claudia. And then went into that room with like the turnstile and the bridge with the frozen water. And then we went into the room with the banquet hall with, I drew things with horns.

I think they had like they had like little pincers. Undarians in there. Undarians, yeah. Yeah. This is where the Indarians went up, right? Yeah. They went through that door. Correct.

To go and follow Natty's persuasion. So we've closed that loop, but we can still go back out through the archway and go up the ridge the way that granny fungus told us to go. Well, now you presented another thing, though. We could go get Claudia. I mean. No. All right. All right, gang.

First and foremost, I'm taking that skin back. Very offensive. Imagine that I, like, paraded your Grammy fungus around and was like, oh, you wouldn't like that, would you? wouldn't care, Tolf. They told you to kill their granny. They might be into that. Okay, bad example, but I'm taking that's back. Shoo. So I'm, we're going to take the Bjornskin back. We're going to go back outside. We're going to go up the stairs. The Grammy Fung is recommended. Okay, you turned around to leave the room, and all four of you make me a, let's call it a perception check.

Ooh, 18 plus 3, 22. A notch 12. 12. 7. 5. We're going to be releasing dice and we want to release a 12 set and all the dice are 12. Nice. It's just seven dice of 12. As you're walking out of the room, say Doug and Natty, you take a look at the cistern, which is a three-by-three-foot underground kind of container of water.

It's filled with steaming water. And you see a golden mosaic-tiled interior. Do you think, is this the place where the golden rod probably resides? Well, I betcha it's a, I betcha the water is the same kind of water that turns things gold. Mm, potentially. Potentially. Maybe. Let's test it out.

Natty grabs like one of those gold vials that you said are like somewhere and like dips it in the water. Do you pick the sunflower or it's something else or the whole vial? Yeah, give me that sunflower. Okay, so you take the sunflower out of the vial and dip it in the water? Yes. You dip the sunflower in the water and the water. and the sunflower transmutes and turns into solid gold. Okay, so this is the lab where they make this water

that has magical my disabilities. I wonder what the point to this is. I wonder if it's supposed to be for the golden rod to get more gold. I mean, yeah, I mean, it probably is just part of their schick a little bit because they just used it to dump on Doug. As you're looking in the cistern and dipping the sunflower, or you take, your eyes are invariably drawn towards that mosaic. And you see the mosaic depicts a Venn diagram of symbology,

an empty circle overlapping with a golden circle and with a water droplet in the middle. And you see a solid gold plug at the bottom of the cistern connected to a chain. Yeah, Nanny pulls that chain. Sure. Nothing could go wrong, right? Yeah, as he said, there's a chain attached to something. I'm going to pull it. But watch is where the water is going to pull out.

Like, it ain't going to be landing on my feet or anything. You reach into the water to pull on the drain. Oh, the chain was inside the thing. Yeah. Is there something I could do to not have my hand in the water? You tell me. Is there a glove around? There's a mitten of mushrooms.

Well, Natty wears gloves and a full clothes, like a full sleeve shirt. So could I just do that? Sure. You try to protect your hand and you reach in and pulled on the chain that's connected to the plug. And it pops out. And the water begins very rapidly. draining out of the cistern. And?

The toilet is flushed. The poopie goes down. The school sample. The tiles shift. No, not the stool sample. The tiles shift, revealing something in the water. It reveals something that's in there. It seems almost like a secret room that was not visible before.

What? Secret room? Like a painting? Maybe a portal type thing? Because it seems like those act as portals, maybe. Maybe. Should we go in there? Cistern's big enough for body.

used to pass through? Yeah, it's like three by three feet. Three feet by three feet. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Flotes down. Yeah.

Well, you don't have, oh, you do. I was confused because of the liquid. Yeah. We all float down here. You, you hop in there entering this previously unseen room. And as soon as you enter, you have a soothing feeling of calm and safety. There's plush floor cushions around a hearth with a fire with metal drainage pipes and a lever connected to a chain. Metal drainage pipes.

And a lever connected to a chain. Yeah. Getting a lot of plumbing in this episode. Do we see where the chain is going to? Like the lever with the chain? You're mechanically minded, Doug. So you would probably be able to ascertain this. You suspect, you hypothesize, as it were,

that pulling... You theorize. You theorize that pulling the lever will most likely close the ceiling up again, making this room secret and hidden once more. Okay, well, now that we're all in here, should we close this back up just in case, you know, just no one could get to jump on? Sure. Sure, yeah. I mean, what could go wrong?

Us not be able to open it again and be stuck in this room forever? We get trapped forever, you guys are organics, you run out of oxygen, die, I live on for forever, surrounded by the corpses of my friends. What's the worst that could happen? Well, we'll figure it out. I feel like this is a fear you've been holding on. Oh, no, that's crazy. You know, you trapped under water and you think about these thoughts all the time every day, just walking, no oxygen, death, everywhere, death all the time. Well, then what if I just left it cracked a little bit?

I think that's a good idea. Okay. Could I, like, pull it, and so it's like, it doesn't katoonk all the way closed, but, like, leaves a little, or is it all or nothing kind of thing? It seems like it's an all or nothing thing, like pulling it is going to activate it. And that's not like, it activates something that proceeds. It's not like you're one-to-one pulling the lever and activating the tiles. Well, let's, uh, all right, everybody in search the room.

I'll be oxen free if you see something. Okay, I'll leave it open for now, but if we want to close it at any point, I'll run over and crank the lever. Okay, so you leave it, leaving it open for now. Yeah, I'll do my things that I did that looks for secret stuff. The whatcha-macall-it-things.

What's it called it? What's it-Col-it-T thing? Yeah, you don't have that on your character sheet? Everyone should have that. It's the... Where is it? Candy. Whatcha-M-a-call it, yeah.

Yeah. Octopot of Obscote. Skira. There it is. Ooh. Yeah, you pour out a little bit of the octopon. You got to make like a roll on that, right? Oh, yeah, that rule thing where it kind of governs what our inventory is.

Three. So do I keep it? I think it was 2D6E roll at this point, isn't it? Oh, that's right. Yeah. Does that recharge per rest or is it like once it's out, does it out? Yeah, for like a long rest. Okay.

And then a two. Yeah, both of those drops. So you have no die left until your next long rest. Hopefully you find something really cool. Yeah, you pour out the octapot, and it flows towards something secret or hidden. I mean, you're in a secret room. It flows around, and it goes to the border of the room, and flows all around the corners of the border of the room.

You found it, Gunther. I have the worst attorneys. Nanny would go over to the hearth. Oh, good idea. You go over. Ooh, nice and warm. And would sit down and enjoy it. It feels really invigorating, really relaxing.

Could Doug look around the room and see if there's any, like, mirrors or paintings or, like, anything shiny? I know that's, like, three different things, but... It's... I'll give it to you. Like, same general vibe. Yeah, in the decor section. Yeah, you look around, and there is nothing like that. Even the drainage...

The closest would be the drainage pipes, which are metal, but they... They're not lustrous. They don't shine. I guess same thing with the chain, but it's like a dull metal. Well, at least we're safe from the chimera right here. That's, you know, point one for this room. That's the thing we're trying to find, though. It's true, but it can't get the jump on us, you know?

Oh, okay, okay. Unless it comes down into this hole and we're trapped in here with the chimera. Yeah, but then it can't escape, so at least we get the jump on it, you know? You are. You are a glass, half-full gentleman, and I cheer you on for it. Does anything happen to Natty as Natty is enjoying the hearth? Like, I don't know, levels up or something? Levels up.

All my health is back, all my son. I mean, I have all my health. I only drop 10 points and then we short-rested. Yeah, no, it just feels good. Okay. You feel like a sense of calm comes over you. Like, you could really unwind and let your hair down as it were here. Okay.

And then an furnace pops up. Out of the fire of the heart. Is there anything else? We could get into a pillow fight that he mentioned there was pillows. Natty throws a pillow at Tov. Oh, he-h-h-hi-hi-hi. Now you, Captain Grumbles. E-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h.

So, like, meta-wise, it's like a secret room. It's a room you could take a short rest or a long rest if you wanted to without risk being discovered since you're kind of hidden here. Oh. So we just found kind of a safe spot then. All right. I think so. Well, I mean, does it seem like someone has been in this room recently?

Yeah, you take a look around and you see like a sticky pouch in one of the corners of the room under a cushion. Let me pick it up, see what it is. What's a sticky pouch? It's like a pouch, but it's like sticky on it. Like it's like a pouch that you would, an adventurer would carry, but it's sticky. Okay. You open it up, take a look, and inside you see freeze-dried flies. Oh.

Oh, bon lap. Wait, could I hold it up in show Gunther and ask if he recognizes this or if he knows Bunlap has had this before? Yeah. Oh, it looks delicious. Well, like, okay, I don't know how long these have been sitting here, but is this bunlaps? Have you seen him wear this before? Yes. And the freeze dried is a way to preserve them and take them on long trips.

Well, if he wouldn't mind you eating the rest of his snack east, then I think you could go out. I would mind him eating the rest of my son. Snack. What? Oh, that voice. My Snackies. You'd look up and see a very handsome, great book.

His muscles glistening with sweat looking down from the still propped open door. I'd have fanned myself off. Nanny got startled too much and shoots him with an Eldridge Flass. No. No. Save some of those for me. Mr. Mr. Bonnap, Mr. Bonnap, sir, it's so good to see you. I thought we would...

Wow. How are you doing? Find out how Bunlap is doing in the next episode of Tales from the Steaky Dragon. Oh, the worst cliphanger ever. We need to know. I like the imagery of him coming in, shirtless, glistening with sweat while we're in this, like, luxurious room with a fireplace going. And told him just being like, oh. Let's see some fan art in Discord.

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a patron today at stinky dragonpod.com. Some NPCs were named after patrons from our Stinky Dragon Discord and some of our friends provided voices in this tale, including the Golden Rod, voiced by Christian Young, at X-Cityung. Grammy fungus created with the help of Stingy Dragon patrons, voiced by me, Gus, and Bunlap, voiced by Devin Finn at Devon underscore Carruthers.

This week's error question was submitted by algae, or algae, one of those two. This episode of Tales from Stingy Dragons, produced by Ben Ernst and Micah Risenger, written and composed by Michael Reisinger, edited by Elena LeCourchic. Join us in the tavern next time for another aromatic adventure of Tales on the Sticky Dragon. It's a room you could take a short rest or a long rest if you wanted to without risk being discovered since you're kind of hidden here. Oh.

So is there like a table with med packs and with ammo? Bandages, syringes, yeah, yeah, all that stuff. Bandages, yeah. Pills here. Pills here. Thank you. You got the green plant, you got the red plant. So we just found kind of a safe spot then.

I guess so. All right. Does it seem like someone has like been in this room recently? Like it, like is there a hot cup of tea or a lit cigarette? A lot of cigarettes in our story. Grammy fungus was taking a smoke break from the... Yeah, I had to get away from them kids. She goes in there and immediately is like,

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