Tales from the Stinky Dragon - C03 - Ep. 48 - Under Oondar Fire - Hot Cross Bunlap

Episode Date: July 22, 2026

Brutaliteam catches up with Bunlap and learn about what he's been up to in Chimirrora Keep. Support us directly on Patreon https://www.patreon.com/stinkydragon - get access to ad-free episodes, bonus content like Stinky Dragon Adventures & Second Wind, our patreon-exclusive discord, and more! Check out our new merch at store.stinkydragonpod.com - Dice, Player Character Tees, Blankets, Hoodies, and more! Follow us on our socials at https://linktr.ee/TalesFromTheStinkyDragon Cast: Gus Sorola, Blaine Gibson, Barbara Dunkelman, Jon Risinger, Chris Demarais Writer/Editor/Composer: Micah Risinger Producer: Benjamin Ernst Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Try the Creamy Parmesan and Bacon Quarter Pounder today or treat yourself to your Dreamburger lineup with our original Quarter Pounder with cheese or Quarter Pounder BLT. At participating McDonald's restaurants in Canada, product availability varies by restaurants. This episode is brought to you by L'Oreal Group. Beauty is a powerful force that moves us. That's why L'Oreal Group has built a business that is inclusive at its heart

with 100% of its brands, championing diversity. With 25,000 professional opportunities for people under 30 worldwide and 54% of leading positions held by women, diversity is a strength that helps L'Oreal Group create the best beauty products for all people. Visit L'Oreal.com to learn more. Hey, I'm Arne Neekam from the fully improvised comedy podcast, Hello from the Magic Tavern. I'm here with my co-hosts, John the Talking Badger, Bing Bong, and Usenor the Wizard. I greet thee, listeners.

Look, I'm trapped in the magical land of foon. So I started a podcast interviewing elves, unicorns, and other weirdos. We have great guests like Felicia Day, Jason Manzuckus, Brennan Lee Mulligan, Amy Mann, and so many more. Oh, and I think one time we interviewed a sentient shoe? I hope it was sentient. Not to mention the evil people we've had to interview. How I hate evil. Join us as we bar crawl across the magical land of foon.

Looking for adventure. Getting caught up in escapades. Hello from the Magic Tavern is available right now on your favorite podcast app. And add free and with lots of bonus content on Patreon. Subscribe to Hello from the Magic Tavern today. Pleasant trees, all you plain watchers, soaring into the sinky dragon and ingest our latest infusion, clear for takedown. It's a mixture of magic resistance matcha, word-bound water, celestial soy milk, a radiant lasso of

ice cubes, and topped with an enervating blast of extra planar juices. One pour of this pinpoint potation, and you'll be saying there's no plane like home. Previously, our adventures clashed with the conglomerate chimera. After a quick conflict, it cleared out into a cavernous canvas. B-team then bound their way up a slippery slide into a body of water. They met mushroom minions and their matron Grammy fungus. Finally, they flew down a flight of stairs into a facility of filigree and found a secret space beneath a cistern where a stud named Bunlap stepped in on them.

Latch onto our libation and let's leap into our lore. Hello, everyone. Welcome to Talesman Stingy Dragon, and I'm your dungeon master, Gustavo Sorolla, and I'm going to hit our four players with an arrow. If you were to create a charity, what kind would it be and what would it be called? And that's from Zach the Street Fighter. Can't wait to see you in the new movie, Zach. Not sponsored.

Dita not sponsored at all That movie looks bonkers And I want to watch it I'm gonna roll the D20 5 16 8 Got this out of my system Critical Failure

Oh good Good good good for you Told Gunther Doug Natty Did you already ask the question I'm sorry Yeah you did the charity Oh yeah yeah yeah

If you were to create a charity What kind would it be If you were to be called From Zach the Street Fighter I know we got a little distracted That was the part of that whole thing That I got focused on I was like, oh, man, yeah, a duken, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oh, it's me, Blaine Gibson. I play Tollve, the male Thumbentek Barbarian. Yoohoo! Oh, wow, first. That's a first. Okay, well, charities. I am going to start one that is near and dear to my heart. It has to do with recycling.

And, you know, when you're like, you've got like an old piece of technology and you're like, I don't know what to do with this. Should I throw it away? Should I recycle it? Well, you can donate it to my charity. It's called Toys. for bots and we take old technology

and then we like use it for spare parts or you know refurbishing it to make it into like a cool little gadget or gizmo for us robot folks uh yeah i got gadgets and gizmos are plenty i know exactly what he triggered with barbara i he said it barbara inhaled and i was like i know what she's thinking she's trying to yeah is that beauty and the beast no uh little mermaid Oh, oh yeah, yeah.

Yeah. Okay, yeah. I love the Toys for Bots. I'm guessing that's a Toys for Tots reference, or am I going crazy? Toys for What? No, it's called Toys for Bots. I don't know what you're talking about. Oh, that's very true.

I don't even know what Tots are. It's a Boys for Tots reference. All right. Tov, doing good charity work there for up-and-coming bots. Thank you. Up next, Gunther. Hi, I'm Chris Maris. I play Gunther, the male crook folk fighter.

And for me, that is an important charity, is that there are sometimes when people in my village, they get sick, they need extra nutrients and extra, and they do not have enough food. And so we need to, there are a particular type of fish that we give that are very nutritious for them, but they are hard to find and hard to, hard to come by. And so I would start a charity to help to make sure that every child that needs one has one. It would be called make a fish. You guys and your puns and your play on words today. Ten for ten. Make a fish. So you like go to a body of water and you assemble like fish parts and you make this,

you assemble this fish somehow. No, no. You would do a charity to grow these, to start a fish. Hatchery. Hatchery. Start a fish. And then to grow them, to let them. It's like, it's like, it's a,

like a build-a-bear, you know, but with fish. Yeah. I do want to say, Chris, your, your Gunther intonations and cadence are on point today. I was on that journey. Food. It was, it was good. In my piccanic basket. Poise for bots and make a fish.

I can't wait to see the parade of puns continue. Doug, you're up next. Hello, everyone. It's Doug Bulling, played by Barbara Dunkelman, the male bugger. Bear Artifacer currently level 8. I'm sorry. You said played by Barbara Duncanman, the male artifice. That's me.

I'm the male artificer. I've been working on it. But, you know, there's all some really good charities that you guys are starting, you know, some real good play on words. But, you know, Doug was thinking about how could he really help the people, you know, of this place, of Midrish specifically. And so he actually wants to start a charity. called the Minds of Midrish Initiative, also known as Mommy.

Oh, that caught me off guard. You know, just to really help people who are wanting to, like, expand their knowledge of science and just everything there is to learn in this world. So, yeah, the Minds of Midriss Institute. Oh, mommy. Mommy helped. It feels like the birth of that idea. started with the word and then went backwards.

It actually didn't. No, it didn't. Okay. I was thinking of like something that could involve the word middress in and then. I was like, well, mine's of middress. I would love for their programs to be things like upies. Like other things that is like it's just a joke acronyms all the way down. Man.

Yeah. It's funny. When you were saying that I was like in my head trying to figure out what the acronym was and what the joke was, I couldn't get there. And you beat me to it. So, yeah, that was really good. Although I'll just talk with Build a bear. I feel like that's a direction Doug should have gone in some capacity.

Oh, yeah. It's just an engineering charity. Build a Bugbear. Build a bug bear. It's just like one of those things, beanbags or whatever. It's a fat camp for bug bears. Oh, John, we need to do a bug, oh, we need to do a bug bear beanbag chair. Yes.

We can do that, right? Like the big Snorlax thing. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, exactly. All right. Thanks, Doug. Then last, definitely not least, we got Natty. Yeah, definitely not least.

It's John Reisinger here. It's your boy. John Reisinger. It's your 41-year-old dad boy. We're all just boys and girls here. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I play Natty, Wonder, who is the Drow, Warlock, drag queen, mother of Mr. Gigglesworth. And I don't, you know what?

Y'all are too clever. Y'all are too smart. y'all too clever, y'all too funny. And so since y'all are that, while I'm describing my charity, I don't have a name for it. So now it's going to be a race to who can come up with a name or acronym or pun. But my charity that I had in mind was obviously going to be centered around my center of the universe, my baby, my angel, Mr. Giggies. And it's mostly about, I don't ever want to, you know, say no to Gigi.

but I also am not ignorant to the trail of, we'll call it damages that Gigi leaves behind him. Definitely that you're going to say something else completely. He leaves a trail of all kinds of stuff. Bodily fluids, mayhem. And I just, you know, I love my baby, but I also love other people. So I just want to set up a charity that is all about replacing lost items and lost, well, mostly pets that Mr. Giggy would eat along the way so I can replace to the people who have,

you know, been visited by Giggy. And maybe I have a little bit less than what they did before he came and stopped by. And so, yeah, my charity would be about replacing and helping people kind of find, you know, filling the hole that he left. Sometimes it's actually a hole in the wall. And I just need somebody to fill that hole in their, in their downstairs den. They would follow around behind Giggy, and it could be the march of crimes. There you go.

See, I knew one of y'all. I knew it. I was wondering, like, Chris was raising his hand. I was like, I wonder why. Like, oh, he's making sure he gets in there with his coconut burgers. I couldn't even tell, though, if he was raising his hand? Because it was the most, like, it was like kind of a just a limp hand up kind of thing. I didn't want to interrupt.

I didn't want to make sure you got through before I. That's fine. Yeah. I'm glad it didn't matter. I'm glad that someone jumped in. I'm glad it was Chris. But, yeah, that's, that's my idea. I was thinking of some kind of insurance pun, like something people paying to and get their damages covered.

And Micah says that you kind of had rookie of the year hand when you were racing it there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, maybe it's like, you know, if he's eating a lot of people's animals, you know, there could be animals he's eating like cows and goats and stuff. So maybe it'd be called State Farm. Barbara, you can't sponsor them. What are you doing? Yeah, and people can gather in the giggy hood. It'd be more like reinstate farm is what it would be. Oh, that's good.

Oh, that's pretty good. Okay, great charities. I can't wait to see the work you all do in the future. Really looking forward to you all making the world a better place. But on that note, speaking of worlds and better places, let's dive into the episode. To be clear, I'm just trying to leave the world in the same place it was before Gigi was there. So that's just to clarify. But it's like the world gets worse and then you're making it better, which is back to where it was.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, I mean, does it seem like that. like someone has been in this room recently? Yeah, you take a look around and you see like a sticky pouch in one of the corners of the room under a cushion. Let me pick it up, see what it is. What's a sticky pouch?

It's like a pouch, but it's like sticky on it. Like it's like a pouch that you would, an adventurer would carry, but it's sticky. Okay. You open it up, take a look, and inside you see freeze-dried flies. Oh. Wait, could I hold it up and show Gunther? ask if he recognizes this or if he knows Bunlap has had this before.

Yeah. Oh, it looks delicious. Well, like, okay, I don't know how long these have been sitting here, but is this Bunlaps? Have you seen him wear this before? Yes. And the freeze dried is a way to preserve them and take them on long trips. Well, if he wouldn't mind you eating the rest of his snackies, then I think you could go out. I would mind him eating the rest of my snacks. What? Oh, that four is my snackies.

You'd look up and see a very handsome... His muscles glistening with sweat looking down from the still propped open door. I'd have fad myself off. Nanny got startled too much and shoots him with an Eldridge Flass. No. No. Save some of those for me. One lap has a few scrapes and bruises, but all in all, he still looks as dapper as ever.

His height is accentuated at this angle looking at him from... below the cistern. His biceps and forms ripple and glisten from the humidity. The golden flakes in his eyes peer into each of your souls and you know it within yourselves. You are safe. I see you found the same hideout. May I join you folks for a spell? Unless I'm intruding. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. Yes, I'm going to be killing space right here. How gracious of you, I am in need of nourishment of both body and soul.

Well, sorry to interrupt, but I happen to have found his little pow- of freeze-dried flies. I was thinking maybe I could, you know, cook some over the fire here and maybe make you a little meal. And feed them to you, massage your feet. Oh, I can see you have found my rations. What would you all say to a shared meal

in fireside chats? Doug, he looks at you. Are you skilled in the culinary arts? Why, yes. The wilder flower smiles upon us. Perhaps we can cook a meal together for everyone. You and me together? Yes!

He offers a winning smile to you, Doug, and slowly removes his green plate armor. You notice a platelet is missing, but what catches your eye even more is how the firelight of the hearth casts a playful shadows across his washboard abs. Now, what topic shall we discuss first? Uh, maybe we should talk abs, I mean about, um, um, um, uh, mottles. I mean, um, yeah, uh. And then, and then, and then Doug just farts out of embarrassment. It is good to see you. I, I was worried we would not find you in time.

Oh, fear not. We have been brought back together for a greater purpose, I suspect. I hope so. I was, uh, very sad when I was, when you had left because, well, I, if you may, what did the wildflower say to you? By the way, I was more sad when you left. That's beside the point. She exclaimed she was growing impatient

and desired for the Wilder's Shield to be returned at once and that you are not the devoted Krokefolk you once were, that you are no longer worthy of such a quest. Her words, not mine. Did she say why? What did I do? I humbly protested such a claim against a fellow Krokefolk

who bravely freed me from unwarranted imprisonment, but she insisted that you... I'm embarrassed to even repeat such an outlandish, accurate. She insisted that you were fraternizing with other deities that you had given over to blasphemy. She must have been misinformed. Well, no, you see, I was fraternizing is a very strong word. There was just a communication only in that's Nien Zadha was trying to get to find more information, not about like we were.

If you turn the camera to see Nadi, Natty has got her arms crossed and is giving a scowl to Tov a little bit. of a disappointed mom looked at all. I can't believe my ears. No, it is... No. Why, Gunther? What made you associate with those other so-called gods? Surely you have a good reason.

I... No, the only reason was to get closer to finding out where the shield might be. If I may, step in here. In Gunther's defense, he is like... way too into the Wilder Flower, like, troublingly so. No, he would never... Troubling. No, like, like, uh, do he...

No, well, okay, hold on now. My God, you're so muscular. Um, he is so devoted that it has come at a great cost to his personal well-being because of his devotion to the Wilderflower. There is no doubt in my mind that this man loves his deity. It's just that he is trying to pursue. do the goal of the wilder flower, and that requires him to somehow interact with other deities,

but not in a way of worship or, like, cheating. Is sacrifice not a sign of faith? I mean, he's sacrificing, like, he's sacrificing his own health and his safety. I wish we had cams on for this show so that people could see both Chris and Plain, just like the spinning rainbow shoes and with an umbrella. But you,

look, the other deities, they started talking to me first. They kissed me first. It means nothing. They came on to me. He's literally tried to use like a different persona and was like entrapped by other deities to talk to them. And he was like, my name's nunther, you know?

He doesn't want to associate with him. But personally, Bunkn Lap, I don't think that there is a reasonable expectation from the world of flower, but that's just my opinion. Yeah. You know, I want to just back up what Toll was saying here, like,

our friend Gunther here is, he is devoted. And, you know, I also could be very devoted, you know, to the right person. Some might say, but I just like, you know, I would trust him. He never, you know, ever lost his face and he's always been so devoted to wildflower and completing the mission and, you know, I understand the confusion, though.

Gunther, it appears you have fast friends who are willing to watch your back in my absence. For that, I am very pleased. Yes, well, now you do not have to. Now you can have the same. Yeah, we'll watch your back. Wash your back? I'll wash your back. Yeah, he turns around and his back is somehow even more shredded than his front.

How is that possible? You've already washed it. What's the opposite of a bench press? Like, where you're going backwards? Like lap pull downs or? I'm not, I'm like trying to think of like if you're bench pressing but like a bench push. Yeah, yeah. Bunn up, my friend, do you have any insight into how I might regain the good grace to Wilderflower?

He puts a hand on your shoulder, Gunther. I dare say, if it were me, dear friend, I would repent of my transgressions and seek the Wilder Flowers' forgiveness. But perhaps there is something we can do. to show that rather than tell. Perhaps retrieving the Wilderflower will change her mind. I hope so, but she said, do not do that. She told me not to, but I, so I'm both a very... Yeah, he found it like a week ago and then hid it further, so that, because he was like...

That's not true. That's not true. That's a bit of a joker here. She's a comedic relief in the group. That is not true. I feel, I feel at odds because they have both said to not come here, but I, I have to come here because if I don't come here, if I do not retreat the shield, I will not be able to return to home.

Since the hour I left your side, Gunther, I've done nothing but regretted. I know I was only doing the will of the Wilderflower, but I owe you my life. The least I can do is stand by your side once more in your hour of need. It would be my privilege to assist you in retrieving the Wilder Shield. We will bring honor not only back to the Fly Flats, but to the windbreaker name. And with that, one left reaches out his hand. Yeah, Gutter does this handshake where they grasp each other's... Forearms?

Forearms. Yeah. And then they... No, that's too weird. Do they just, like, croak with their necks getting like... Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. They do that and go br... I would think also, like, you grasp forearms, and then you, like, interlock legs

and then, like, hop around on one leg each, spinning around. Anybody else want to know where Chris was going with that before he stopped himself? Just the neck little pulsating thing? Chris, we'll cut this part out. Just tell it. Go ahead, tell us. You're going to say it's like, oh, they like, they like graft pans and then their tongues loop around, but I was like, that's a little weird.

No, no, no, no, no. I'll try that, you know, if you want you to demonstrate. I don't think that's necessarily, from a meta perspective, I wouldn't think that's weird in the Krokefolk Society just because of, it seems like Krokefolk use their tongues almost like a utility.

Like, it's a worked out thing and you use it in some attacks. So I wouldn't say that. necessarily a weird thing. I think that's, uh, that's human inhibition creeping in. I'm once again too weak. I am curious, you know, Gunther and Bunlap, I don't know if we ever heard the story about how you two actually met. Ah, ha, yes, tis a humorous tale to be sure. Maybe you guys could like tell it back and forth a little bit out of time.

You know, like you tell some Bunlap and then you tell some Gunther. I think that'd be a fun game. Well, let's see how this goes first. We were nearly froglets in fly flats and quite wet behind the tympana. I think you call them ears? A goggle bird came out of nowhere and I fell into the sacred oasis. What am I doing? Gunther can tell the tale far better than I.

Go ahead, my friend. Oh, and don't forget the part about the fireflies. So yes, he fell in. The Sacred Oasis, and he was like, you should not be there. And so I was like, what, it's a fool? I don't know who this guy is. And so I used my tongue to grab hold of a heavy boulder, and I rappeled down in after him.

I grabbed him. And then the part with the fireflies is the funniest. You tell that part. Seems like you guys are passing the fireflies part back and forth. Here to tell me more about these fireflies. Then we came out onto the shore and we had to dry off. And as we were drying off, Gunther said, Ooh, I am peckish. How about you?

And we turned and saw some fireflies, and then... Or then, we saw those fireflies, and we said, I'll race you to see who can get one. And you got all of them. And then did he say, you would not believe your eyes. Oh, what a story. Yes. So, uh, Bunglap, I know that.

Gunther has a mate whom he loves very much and at home. Pugna, do you have a mate? I've courted many a fetching croak folk back in fly flats. No, that's true. But sadly, no. I haven't had much time for such a romance as of late. Especially due to my incarceration, though many inmates have expressed interest.

I just like that we just made this legendarily hot character. How big is Bunlap? Like, I know he's bigger than Gunther, but he's still like a croak folk. So is he like still kind of small or what? Yeah. Yeah, he's definitely taller than most croak folk and muscular. So I would say like maybe four feet tall and just like four feet tall, but 200 pounds of just pure muscle. Sounds familiar.

That was Bart. Yeah. Like people who know this, Barber's four feet tall. A lot of people don't know. 200 pounds. It's all those bench pushes you do. All my back pushes. So like when you say he's strong enough to like carry someone really heavy,

like Doug or anything like that, like hold him in his arms and stuff like that if needed. Are you injured? Well, I mean, I could be. We're, you know, a pretty precarious situation here. Doug is looking around for something to hurt himself with it. I am strong, but you are a very tall bug bear, Doug. I don't know if I could pick you up. Okay, that's fair.

Maybe you and Guntur could work together and kind of, you know, if you need to. Yes. You are always, as always, not think high of yourself enough. Okay, let's pick Doug up. Matterwise, there's no way he could pick you up down. Well, you know, is there anything, like you say you're not really that strong, but, you know, is there anything you might be wanting to, like, learn or a skill that you might want to improve? Because you seem so talented and, you know, Gunther here was.

saying, you shouldn't, you know, talk down on yourself. But is there anything that you wish you could improve? Because, you know, Doug knows a lot of stuff, and maybe Doug could help. Learning is a thrill for me. Most folks don't know this, but I'm a bit of a book borrower. But there is one area that I haven't found much expertise in, blacksmithing. I've always had to have professionals assist me with crafting my armor or weaponry. I'm ashamed to admit it, to be honest.

But how else is one supposed to learn if they don't confess when they need help, right? Wow. We found some of your armor. I did. I did, yes. Could Doug take out the piece that they found before? Yeah. He's been sniffing it a whole lot just to make sure it's up to snuff, I guess.

I don't know. Just making sure it's not on fire or anything like that. Up to sniff. Up to sniff. I mean snuff. I could use assistance in reattaching this. Oh. Suddenly Doug gets pushed back by Gigi, pushing him back and cracking his knuckles and coming over.

really funny visual. Okay, I guess could Doug help him reattach it? Sure. I mean, he can keep talking while you two work together to reattach this platelet to his armor. It's seen in ghost, but it's just Doug wrapping his arms around. It's the other way. It's it's Bunlap wrapping his arms around Doug, but not getting all the way around.

On Netflix, The Hawk. From the mind of Will Farrell. Oh, Mama. I'm back. Comes a new original series. Get ready, get ready. That's it. Did I stutter? When an iconic pro golfer.

Lonnie. Lonnie! Hawk! Ah! Takes one last swing of greatness. You were a big shot golfer. I still am a big shot golfer. No one.

Dad, I'm the Hawk now. We'll stand in his way. Oh! That's how it's done! The Hawk! Now playing. Only on Netflix. Oh, please, not that music.

That music gives me nightmares from my childhood. Could we get something a little bit lighter? lighter music here. Are you a fan of true crime TV shows? And what about Unsolved Mysteries? The show that jumped started all of our love of true crime. I'm Ellen Marsh. And I'm Joey Taranto.

And we host I Think Not, a true crime comedy podcast. New episodes of I Think Not are released every Wednesday with bonus episodes out every Thursday on Patreon. But not I must ask, what have you found so far since you have been here? because I know you have been here and you have been sneaking. Oh, yes, I found a foyer entrance. Then I found a bizarre contraption that spins and takes you down and up. Ah, yes, we have found that as well. Ooh, very confusing.

From there, I found this lab in this area we are in, and a great hall. In that hall, I was able to travel to a room with riches. But there was a monster. So I retreated back to the hall and made my way back here to recover. Was it the chimera? I don't know what that is, but that sounds appropriate. Did it have but a bison on one side, a raptor in the middle, and an ostrich on the right, with big, big wings of the mantelray?

Oh, and covered in mirror shards, yes. Yes. Nope, that wasn't the chimera. Sorry, that was something else. So, Bunlap, it seems like things are all patched up, right? Like, are you in Gunther, like on good terms now, despite all the, you know, disagreement stuff with the wilder flower. I owe Gunther my life. He has been a tried and trude our life through all the years between you and me.

And he leans in close to you, told, and you notice he smells like fresh sandalwood and lemon zest. And he whisper softly in your ear. I've always looked up to Gunther. He is what I would call a croak folks. Croke folk. I don't know how he does it, but he exudes such confidence and strength without even exerting effort. Surely you've noticed this whilst traveling with him. Yeah, definitely, for sure.

I don't want to blow up Gunther's spot bun lap, but he admires you very dearly as well. I think you guys are good, good friends, and I hope that nothing ever causes a rift between the two of you because clearly he admires you as much as you admire him. Oh, nothing could come between two friends. The bond is extremely tight. Well, I can think of one thing, but, you know, that's...

We don't need to get into religion. That was a good little laugh. I like that. I want that sound. When we started these characters, we were like, you know, something that was like a thought provoker was like, okay, what are some missions,

what are some objectives that you can get? I think one of Toll's new missions is to get Gunther off of the Wilderflower. You think? Because I see how bad they are for him. Anyways, I just wanted to state that in case it wasn't clear enough. All right, all right.

It's been pretty clear. Yeah, yeah. Wouldn't up have you have you seen or heard the six toads swordsmen? I would say that again for people who are broken speakers in the car. We just look down and Gunther's just like lips to the dirt just speaking. But they understand each other though. Once more less base, more treble. The six sword.

Swordsmen also known that's the 11 toad, depending on where you're counting from. I'm afraid not, but I will keep my eyes wide as if for flies. Smart. Very smart. My last question for you, Bunlap, you know, is we're getting to know you more. You know, we've had time to really get to know each other and what we want to, you know, achieve and stuff like that. But what is your goal in life? Like, what do you wish to achieve?

I simply wish to return the Wildershield back to fly flats and with it the village's honor. Beyond that, I've had many a dream in my heart. But the one that soars above the rest is that which Gunther has already achieved. Love. He and Punea found each other, and they made a family together. It is a beautiful life he has made for himself. I don't know how he stands being away from her for so long. I hope to experience such longing for my future love one day.

Oh, that's so beautiful. It is not easy I say this. I sometimes have to lie down because I cannot stand it. Oh. Oh, that's beautiful. Oh, God, I'm going to grow. Well, I think Doug's crying a little bit. Oh, my God.

I remember so beautiful. He's a beautiful. Well, as, as good as this is, that we're all reconnected and, you know, talking and stuff like that, I think we need to get back to the mission at hand. Find this darn chimera-rah-rah, and hopefully the will-do shield

so that you guys can get back to your village. So, how about it, gang? But first, a meal. I am quite peckish, are you not? Oh, oh, my God, I'm so sorry. I'm a robot so I don't necessarily need food. But yeah, go ahead. Okay, well, I'm cooking us up a dish.

I haven't really experimented with the freeze-dried flies before, so you're going to have to bear with me. Oh, this shall be a treat. Maybe we will bug bear it with you. Inspiration dikempter. Thank you. Okay, so we're going to start with this appetizer. It's a capraise salad with a...

I never know how to say that word. Ever. I'm not saying you said it wrong. Every time that comes up, I try a new way of saying it. Caprizi. Yeah. Sounds like a cool 90s. I don't know. Jazz artist. Is it Caprizi or Caprizi? No idea. I just don't order it. Yeah. No idea. When I find out, I'll order it for the first time. I like the salad. I like that salad. Menus with the numbers are a blessing because you could just point and say, yeah, number 14 and you don't have to stumble your way through the pronunciation. And to be again, very clear, I don't know if, Barbara, you said it right. You just brought up that word. Every time I'm like, I like that salad, I'm going to just try a... The Prezze. It's very good.

But then for our main course, of course, we have flituccine Alfredo. Oh, ho, ho. I don't know if you guys like a cheesy sauce, but, you know, it's Doug's personal recipe. So here you go, eat up. It will be you who suffers later from the dairy. Where did you get the cheese? You know, Doug likes to pack some cheese in his pack. Oh, old Bun Lap can croak in more than one way.

Is it a far drunk? Yes. Oh, okay. I think Doug will also just, like, stay in there nervously watching everyone eat his dish. I think, yeah, Bunlap is famished. I think this would be an excellent dish, but even if it was not,

I think Bunlap wouldn't care at this point. He just begins wolfing down the food. Hum no, yum, num num num num num num num num num num num num num num num num. Numb Nave some for others Dereborn lap Nom nom nom nom nom Yoh-oh-o-0-0-0-1-1

Tolf how do you like it Where's it going in there in that stomach I think I've established this But I can absorb food And absorb the nutrients You just don't know when to see how it comes out That's all I'm saying It's like Wally where it gets squashed down into cubes

And then looking taken out It's exactly what I was thinking of Really? Yeah That's so great Wait, do I have my skin? No, the grandkids still have it. Okay. They stole it.

Was Bunlap surprised by that? I don't know if he had met me with my... No, no, no, he probably had, because we went to the... He knew, yeah, because during the breakout. The prison breakout. Yeah. Okay. Doug, I am very impressed.

You are skilled not only with the pan, but with the hammer as well. The quality of this armor repair is second to none. Well, thank you. It's an honor to get a compliment from you, Bunlap. I have much to learn from you in the smithing arts. Is it possible to also, I should have thought of this earlier, but I don't know if we have the time to do it, to do some infusing of the item.

Oh, yeah, yeah. What were you thinking? Yeah, I think I would have given it enhanced defense, which is for a suit of armor or shield, so I imagine this piece of armor could be infused onto. So a creature gains a plus one bonus to armor class while wearing the armor or wielding the shield of the infused item. The bonus increases to plus two when I reach level 10, which is not yet.

So it's just a plus one to his AC. That's pretty good. Doug, how have you made this even more effective? The quality is amazing. You know, I've been studying for a while, and, you know, we've had this piece for a bit, and I've just been kind of tinkering with it on and off and thought if we ever ran into, you know, you'd appreciate it. And, you know, we want to protect all the hard work you put into those muscles and stuff like that, you know.

Perhaps we should hug frequently so that I can absorb some of your knowledge. That's a great idea. Wow. You're a smart guy. Okay. He is, needless to say, Bonap is very impressed and very happy with the repair and the quality of the work. Doug is also very sweaty, by the way, right now. Because he's very nervous.

Yeah, you look in next to you like trimmer. You know, like when you know, those Pomeranians get washed. Lose half their volume. Is there anything else anyone wants to talk about or wants to do? Or we can just count this as like a little bit of downtime and move on. I think Tolvo was saying something about the plan. Okay, so right now we're going to go out to the chimera, right? We're looking for the Wildershield Avi.

And what am I missing? I need to get my skin back and do you get my pop-op yorn? Yeah. Am I missing anything here? Look for this swordsman that killed, that responsible for so much of

pain in our village. That's more like, okay, sure. We'll add that to the list. I don't know if that's going to happen or not because I also have to find like eight brothers and sisters, but I don't expect to find them in the next day or two. I do think you all also promised the golden rod you would fix the painting in the treasure vault too.

That is true. That is right. Yes. Okay. So I say we get out of this cistern, and we start carrying on upwards to the top of the tower, because that's where the chimera is. That's right. What was it? It was like a vault or something that we're going to?

Yes. Just a quick refresher on geography. You all are like just in this kind of secret room below the cistern, which is under the lab. From the lab, there are two exits. There's one to the northwest, which is that archway you came. through which had the trap with the beam of light and the water that turned you to gold. And there's another door to the south, which is dark and drafty. And in the previous episode you all had concluded that you had been to the other side of this corridor,

that on the other side was most likely the banquet hall that you all went to when you first entered Chimira Key. So told team leader what's the play here? I think you have successfully summarized your objectives and now it's just about figuring out next step. Nadi the Navigator. Where are we going? We're going. I just want to head upwards. Well, God,

do we have to go bother those stupid pesky kids? Do I see my skin anywhere, Bjorn skin? I mean, you all are still in that little secret lab cistern area.

Right. Area. So no, not down here. Okay. I'm going to pop out then to get back to where the entrance of this place was.

Okay, yeah. Yeah, well, follow. Yeah, there's that archway. You remember to avoid the beam of light

in order to avoid tripping the trap that spilled that spills the water and turns you into gold. And hanging from the archway, you see your Bjorn skin. Oh. They folded it. Wow.

It's real free. That's very nice of them. How is it folded kind of like with the arms across each other like Dracula style? I pictured it was hanging. Like they had pinned the arms up into the archway and it's just kind of hanging and flapping down in the wind. Something out of a serial killer movie. Yeah. Smells like sandal wood.

It could be a trap. Oh. 12 puts it back on and Natty can see that over the forehead. They wrote jerk and marker. Is there anything different about it? Is there anything that I can tell? Drew a mustache. He's got a beard.

It seems like they did mess with the skin a bit and the feet are where the hands should be and the hands are where the feet should be. I correct it and put it on. Okay. It's funny you said that, John. Mike and I bounced a bunch of ideas off of each other of what the grandkids could have done.

And one of them was write a swear on the face. Just like trying to think of what like mischievous little kids would do just to cause trouble in a situation like this. Okay, yeah, you're very adept at maintaining Bjorn skin. So it's not a big deal for you. You're able to easily swap out the hands and the feet and put it back in their appropriate place. Upwards and onwards?

Let's go. If you continue on this path, you'll end up back at the room where you encounter the grandkids and granny fungus that, like the forested lake room. So yeah, you continue back up, you walk up that stone path, because you had walked down a stone path to get here. So you do the reverse, walk up the stone path, and you end up back at that forested lake. You still hear that distant singing, and there's evergreen trees everywhere on either side of the lake with fog lingering on the tops. To the north, you see a rocky, rushing river mouth, which feeds into the lake.

And from here, from this room, there are a couple of different exits. There's obviously, of course, the stairs that you just ascended. On top of that, there are ridges that continue up to the northeast and the northwest, like forested slopes that go in either direction. From the ridge and the northeast, you hear what appears to be the sound of grinding stone mixed with water splashing. From the northwest, you hear the sound of mellow music. Let's head that way.

Towards the music? Music. Would we be heading in the same direction or you said northeast is the music and the north is the sounding sound? Northwest is the music. Northeast is the grinding stone. So they're both north. It's just whether you want to take more of a westerly path or an easterly path. I mean, I am a sucker for the tunes.

Let's go check out the music. Maybe pop by the jukebox joint, huh? What kind of music are we here and Gus? Perhaps that'll become more clear in a moment when you proceed a little further. I think they call this dub step. Oh, oh, this is my second language. That's just the sound of me walking. It's a dog step.

Oh, very, very, very good. Take an inspiration. I like it. All right, so you go into the northwest, to the sound of the music? The hills are alive with it. You go up there. Dull, dear, female, dear.

You go up the Northwest Ridge and you find a stone colonnade and the sound of mellow music. There's a large painting chain to a tree that seems to depict a mermaid. There's blankets of gold, silver trays of gourmet, food and handsome folk enjoying merriment and music in the air.

Handsome? Handsome. These are my kind of people. Like good looking. I would agree with that, that's for sure. Bunlap, you'll fit right in. Uh, I guess we're going to approach and say, hello, handsome people, party people. I don't know where I'm going with this.

And Gunther dances up. Yeah, yeah. Toll's doing like a really aged dance, like, oh, I'm hip, I'm cool. Yeah, you approach and there's gold, food, and merry folk. There's lavish amounts of gold coin, rare jewelry, and silk apparel. There appear to be succulent meats, cheeses, fruit, and delectable wine. There's folks of all kinds, dancing, singing, laughing, and eating. It's just a good time.

While Tov is, like, raising the roof and, like, he'll spin around in a boogie, and he'll look to his gang and under his breath go, don't eat anything, don't do anything that might be like cursed. I got the hebi-jibis about this place, but everybody act cool. What's up? Oh, wow. Come and join the party. To be very clear, Gigi has already eaten a whole plate of something.

Dick it. Keep that child on a leash. He is. It's just a very long leash. One more time? One more time? Too much merriment. Pat and grumbles, what'd they say?

The singing and dancing, or I should say the dancing seems to accelerate and pick up the pace. Does it seem like they're actually speaking a language we understand, but they're just kind of like slurring their words, or does it seem like a different language? That's a good question. Doug, why don't you make me a... I'm inclined to say intelligence check. Yeah, make an intelligence check. Okay.

That is a 14. It's not coherent. It's almost like if it's a language, it's not. one you don't understand and it's slurred, almost like drunken. Column A, column B. Yeah, like it's being slurred by drunk people or intoxicated people. What's the mermaid painting doing? Is it an actual painting or is it seem to be moving?

Yeah, one of the portal things. Yeah, Gunther goes and to take a look and... Dance is over it. The painting has a frame of black pearl and there's chains wrapped around the painting and a cedar tree. And it looks like it's a lifelike depiction of a mermaid playing the saxophone. What's she do, am I right? Did you guys come up with this painting using a Madlibs?

It's a stinky painting. Gunther, make me a... Let's call it an investigation check. There is a painting of a noun. Playing a music instrument. Not great, six. Some might call that bad. Synonym, not great.

Yeah. You could swear you saw the painting move or like its eyes look at you, Gunther. Oh. This is such a beautiful painting. I shall investigate. I shall look at it and enjoy it closer. Can I guess can't come to approach and be like, hello? Are you, why are you chained up? Oh, help me. I'm in prison. I'm being forced to play music for these folk, for their merriment. It's a very good tune. With that, you play under the sea, under the sea, under the water where it is hotter. Take it for me. I love how we've had two Little Mermaid song references in this one episode. It makes my heart happy. Just keeps popping up.

Gunther, you should kiss that girl. Shalalalal la la. Free me and help me. And I can reward you. Can you reward us with telling us how to go out of here? Too high to the top of the tower. I have not been there, but I'm sure I can figure it out. Can Nadi grab Gunther real quick?

Like in a not like a rude or mean way, but kind of just like, Put her hands around his shoulder and kind of take him away from the painting real quick. Gunther, roll me a D20. Oh, no. 15. Natty comes and puts her hands on your shoulder to pull you away from the painting, and you do not want to leave. Oh.

Oh, it's all sight of the siren sounds. Oh. She's drawing you in. Natty is trying to stop you from helping this poor, defenseless mermaid. Why would Nadi do that to you, Gunther? Why would you do this, Natty, Nattie? Notty let you see that she needs us. She's a poor defenseist mermaid.

She's being chained. She's in trouble. We must help. Look out. Look at it. Painting. Could Doug come over and cover Gunther's ears? Uh, yeah.

You've already established it doesn't happen. Yeah. That's exactly what I was thinking of. He was covered the sides of his head. I was like, we just talked about this. Croke folk ears keep coming up in this episode for some reason. Cover the holes that are receiving the sound. Yeah.

Doug, you walk over and do that. But I think Gunther is probably worked up from Natty trying to grab him, and he's going to resist that. So each of you roll me of D20. High number wins. Five. 13.

You go over and, you know, put your hands on Gunther's head. He's, like, thrashing around because he doesn't want you to do that. However, you are able to put your hands around Gunther's ears. You got Gunther there thrashing around with Natty's hands on his shoulders and Doug's hands over his ears.

Okay, everybody, everybody. Team meeting. Team meeting. Hey, meet him. Tov, get over here. Yeah, I'm coming. It's just the gunt that's being belligerent at the party again. But it better be some cool new dance.

So, I just want to clarify something, because I've been to operating this assumption. Bunlap, you said you've been to where the chimera was, right? Yes. Okay, so that means you could just show us where to go. Oh. To get to the chimera, right? No, I went through a passage in a painting in a grape hall. I have not been through here.

Okay, okay, yeah. Was there like a fish hook in that hall? Yes. There we go. Okay, all right. Well then, perhaps we should leave this party B considering the effects it seems to have on our crope folk buddy over here. And, yeah.

Yeah. This is John asking, where are the egresses in this room? since we came up into this colonnade. Good question. There's the one, of course, that you came up from the southeast, which was the ridge. To the north, you see an ivy tunnel,

which appears to be long and straight, that's kind of damp and cold. And to the east, there's a rickety, wooden footbridge. Okay, well, team leader, you want Ivy or footbridge? I mean, I'm quite fond of precarious, scary bridges, you know. Sorry, I feel like footbridge. That sounds like a lot of fun. Sounds something, I don't know, there's just something about being around Bun Lap that I want to do dangerous, adventurous things, you know?

Throwing caution to the wind. He makes us all brave, I think. Yeah. She has that effect on people. Okay. Bees for brave. Bees for Bon Lap. Maybe Doug, you should just hold on to Gunther until you feel him like maybe get this out of his system.

I just have a feeling that maybe whatever music is coming from this mermaid painting is, has everyone kind of under like a spell or something? type of a train. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Everyone make a charisma saving throw. Oh, except for Gunther. Not Gunther. You already failed it. Charismal saving.

12 plus. 7. 19. 12? I rolled a 5, but I'm going to take it again with my inspiration die. 19. Okay. Doug, you do not want to leave.

I think you take your hands off of Gunther's ears. Natty and Tov, you're the only two who seem to want to leave. Doug, the mermaid painting starts talking to you. It's not me who's keeping. you here. It's these people. Really? What are they doing now? What are they doing? It's the same way they compelled me and trapped me. The people are chanting.

Oh, how many people? We'll say six. Did you hear their language? That's how they get you. What are they saying? I don't know, but it's hypnotic. It traps you. Yeah, I do feel pretty trapped. Gunther, are you enjoying this as well? Oh yeah, I didn't think this is a good song. but also, we have to help. You have to help her.

I am Hallison. Harrison? How is a beautiful name. Yeah, she appears to be a teenage mermaid with red hair and a tank top of sailcloth. Her lower half is of shimmering emerald scales. Teenage mermaid with red hair, huh? Yeah, yeah.

Natty and Toll, you know that something here is trying to charm you. Both of you were able to resist it. but something unnatural is trying to grab hold of you. I'm pretty used to being at a party and wanting to leave and the people I'm just don't want to leave. Time for a speed run. Yep, yep, yep, time for an Irish goodbye. Okay, I'm going to ask, like, with Natty's connection to the archana,

as a warlock, you know, daughter of the priests of the temple, is there something that maybe Nettie could do to try to, I'm convinced there's magic here causing, you know, charm. I want to figure out a way to determine, is it the painting or is it the people? Is there something Natty could do? I guess you could make an arcana check unless you have a better idea. I don't have an ability, so that's why I'm like I'm fishing for just like Nattie's knows magics. Yeah, make an arcana check. Okay.

19. Not bad. Pretty good. Using your spidey senses of Arcana, you think that the source of this charm is coming from the painting. All right. Natty cast mode of hell on the painting. Oh my God. We've been through this before.

That's how you got a Captain Grumbles. Yep. And what that does is that it creates that mode. It's a 15-foot radius, but I'll cast it away that no sound can leave. Oh. No light, no sound can leave the mode of hell. Very clever.

Oh, that is super clever. So it's totally dark and totally silent on the painting, correct? Yeah. And before Natty says it says, this ain't no disrespect to you, darling. You looking pretty and everything. We got business to do, and she casts it. We're supposed to help her.

I did. I can't hear her anymore. Yeah, you cast Mode of Hell on there, and Gunther and Doug, both of you, like, snapped you. You realized that you were under some kind of magical influence that was compelling you to stay here. And when that happens as well, all of you look around and you see all the people, the gold coin, the jewelry, the food, all of that's gone. Instead, you see a pile of garbage, rotten food, and corpses.

Oh, so is all like illusionary, basically. Yeah, that's why Gigi was so into it. Wow. Yeah, Gigi is still eating the food, even though it's more into it. He just doubles down. He just coughs up a tin can. Sorry, guys, I think I painted myself into a corner of there. This party's dead, hey?

So there are no people. They're all dead people. It's corpses, yeah. It would have been you guys if we just let you here. But why don't we go down that romantic bridge and see what's down that way? Well, thank you, Natty, for saving us. I thought I was so enraptured by that painting. It was a very, you did a very good one.

Yeah, you guys make fun of me in my connection to death and hell. But, you know, it kind of came into hand, did it? Do we make fun of you? I feel like we very much appreciate it sometimes. You know what, you're right. It's mostly that robot over there that gets weird about my people's religion. Rope. Toll is staring off into the distance.

He can't hear any of this because he's turned himself to mute mode. Or he just deafness. He's got built-in discord. Yeah, yeah, deaf. So good. Okay, so I think we would boot scoot boogie out of here. Let's go to the rickety bridge. Okay.

Sounds good. You depart this area to the east. And you see. what appears to be a rickety footbridge. That's about 60 feet in length, swaying in the wind. It's chipped with golden paint, and it crosses over a rushing river below.

In the middle, you see a coin purse hanging on the handrailing. Oh, God, if it wasn't for the coin purse, I would have felt like this is a trusty bridge, but now it feels like a trap. Maybe it's a toll. Oh. Oh, that's not a bad idea.

Oh. Just to the west from here is the area you just left with the painting and the illusion. Then there's the bridge, and then to the east, on the other side is the other exit. And from that side, you hear that familiar sound of grinding stone again that you heard in the previous area.

Interesting. So across the bridge is the grinding stone sound? Correct. Oh, okay. Oh, that worked out. If you think about it, you were in one area, and you went west to the illusion, and now you're cutting east. And then from the area with granny to the northeast was where that grinding sound was.

So you would think it all kind of connects. Okay. Does anybody have rope? because I think we should probably send someone out attached to some rope. And then if this is inevitably like a trap, then we can catch them and pull them back and go the other way. I'm pretty sure I do. Natty just starts hovering off the ground.

I just, I wanted to come up with some sort of way that we could safely cross this. Natty is now just like turning upside down and like doing little like little slow rotations around Toll's head. And I feel like the safest way is to have like some sort of things. that we could grab someone, pull their weight back, you know. She's now cast dancing lights around herself, and it's just lights are all dancing around. She's flying and floating. Natty, do you want to so attach rope to you?

Yeah, actually, I would. You know, stuff can happen where you can't fly anymore, and so that's probably just safety first kind of stuff. I got some rope. Yeah, just do it. I'll grab hold of the other end. Thank you. Tov, could you actually help me to tie a nod around it?

Natty's right. Talk into the right car here, dog. I have been reading your books, your various books on it, but I figured I would watch from the expert. Oh, of course, of course. What kind of knot you doing? Oh, God. Don't do this.

Come on. A Google knot. Oh, that's a really high number knot. I want to do, hold on. I know that there are some knots that can get tighter and then they become like dangerous because they can. Oh, yes. A garlic knot would be good. Yeah.

Of course Chris would say that. I'm kind of hungry now. Bowline knot. What? Bowline knot. Okay. I couldn't hear you. There's some other guy talking.

Bolein not. There you go. This is somehow easier to understand when he did it in Toll's voice than Blaine's voice. Or maybe an anchor hitch. That would be fun. All right. Nanny starts to walk forward, but then turns around and goes, if they need money, I don't have.

have any. Well, just call back, if so. Okay, okay. Tolt's got a lot, right, Tolt? Yeah, I'm pretty fluid. Liquid. He's like our walking ATM machine right there. You try to put the bill in and it won't go in because it's just not registering, so he keeps

spinning it back out. Yeah. A crap out of Dr. Pepper and not a Coke. He's a vending machine, too. No, we already fought one of those. Yeah, we went through that. Natty, yeah, kind of just floats over. to the middle of the bridge and investigates that little baggie.

Look, rope floats. Yep. So you have the rope tied around you and you float and you go out to the middle of the bridge. Yeah. You know, as you're floating over it, you can see that the bridge is very precarious. It's missing planks of wood. And as the wind causes it to sway, it creaks at every slight movement. You float out to the middle and, you know, you grab at the coin purse.

And it's pretty heavy. You open it up and you find five gold nuggets inside of it. Oh, chicken or? Okay, now it turns back to the group. There's five gold nuggets in the bag. Do you think I need to put one in there? I mean, it does typically come in a six piece or ten pieces. I guess there's a four piece.

Barbara, you are killing me today. That was so good. Just for safety's sake, I'll flick a gold coin over to Natty. So I think I'd rather play it safe in the bridge, not give way. Okay. So what check should I do, Gus, to see if I catch it? Yeah. Holes making that, both of you actually make an athletics check.

Oh, my God. Good thing you have a plus six. 25. Wow. This could not be more accurate. Nadi has a plus one modifier and got an eight. Hold on. But flash of genius.

Butt flash. To give you plus four to your. roll. So 12, which is lucky when you're doing stuff with Tollv. That's a... Not Tov. Purs you and your flash of genius. The gold coin flick is spot on Toll. Hold on, Gus. Hold on Gus. I'm just gonna roll a dice real quick. Oh. Gigi would not... They're not even on the bridge. They can't float. You don't think I brought Giggy with me. He's on a leash. Giggy's like carrying like Natty, uh, adjust it. So it's like one of those papooses or something like where you're carrying it in the front and Giggy's just like, eh, hanging there.

So, Blaine, we all float down here. Every episode. Every episode. We've made that joke so many times. It's so funny. It's a good one. I rolled a nine, and so that means Gigi's going to try to eat the gold coin. I was going to say that the coin spirals out and was going to hit Nadi in the forehead.

But at the last second, Gigi kind of leaps up as much as he can and swallows the gold corn. Perfect. If I take back my flash of genius. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I need, hey, tell if I need another one. Oh, dang. Look at that. That was my last one.

Oh, shucks. That was your last one, 12? You're all out. What are the odds? No more. I guess you'll have to put the child in there. It should count fine. It's cool. Nattie just tries to see what happens when she floats past the pouch. Yeah, you continue all the way to the other end. And, yeah, you're floating on the other end of the bridge.

Well, here's a question, though. You've been floating all the way across the bridge. We don't know if the bridge is going to hold up for people walking across it. for some of us you can't float over here. Okay. Why don't you send somebody who's dispensable over there? Put Captain Grumbles out there. Captain Grumble steps on the bridge and dies.

No! He steps on the bridge and dies. You don't tell us how he dies. His planet needs him. How about this? How about you do a buddy system? You hold hands and one of you holds each side of the bridge rope and you guys just come across. Why don't you tie the rope that is on you to something on the other side?

and we can use it as an extra extra piece of... Sure, sure, sure, yeah, I do that. So you guys tie something on your end, and I'll tie it on my end, and there's another, like, extra safety rope. Yeah, then I tag Captain Grumbles to me in a papoose-type situation. Perfect.

And cross the ropes, Gus. Precious cargo, precious cargo. I would also say that Doug is holding onto the rope on the other end of the bridge because he will make sure you guys get across fine and then just come with the rope so he doesn't lose it. Oh, sure. We get to hit the rope.

And I did say that it was forested on both sides. So Natty, you're able to tie the rope around a tree on your side of the bridge, which extends now all the way to the other end, with Doug holding it on the western side. Natty, make it a good knot. You've been reading my books, right? Not a lick. So at this point, it's either to be Tov or Gunther,

who's going to go across, who's going to go? I'll go. Okay, Tov, you said it first. I assume you're holding onto the rope and trying to cross the bridge. Or why don't you paint the picture for me? Why am I painting it for you? Okay, I have Captain Grumbles over one shoulder, and then I hold on to the rope with the other,

and it's taut between Natty's tree and Doug, and I walk across carefully. Okay, yeah, you pick up Captain Grumbles, step foot on the bridge, and make me a dexterity saving throw. Okay, well, I have advantage, so that's seven and a... 17. As soon as you put the slightest amount of weight on the bridge,

It immediately collapses. Oh, beneath your feet. You're able to, like, pull your weight back onto the west side of the bank. Hmm. I got you, guys. I got you. I got you.

Okay. I'm just going to be burning all my slots. So if we have to fight something a little bit, like maybe a chimera, I'm just going to be shooting Eldridge Blast, okay? Not that I'm trying to direct you, but before you make any decision with that, don't forget in the previous area

where the painting was there was also an exit to the north. If you want an alternate route, just saying that there was another way. But this is such a cool, you know, like it's a crazy, scary bridge. I'm not telling you to do it. You can stay here. All right. Let's just, let's just solve this puzzle with magic,

the way that our DM loves us to solve everything. And Natty cast Shadow Portal. That's my last fourth level slot. So I don't got any of those spells for what's coming up ahead and makes two doors on each side of the bridge that they can just Shadow Portal across. Why don't you do that to begin with? Because I was trying to save a spell slot.

Natty opens up a shadow. portal, which is way more convenient, and you all see it open on your side. You've seen this before. You know what it is. Yeah, put Captain Grumbles through from his cargo, VIP. Natty takes grumbles and then drops the spell. No, sorry, spell stays up. Doug Tovel goes back. Okay. Same.

Nattie hugs everyone as they come through. Can you untie the rope there so I could grab it and come through the portal? Yeah, Nettie does that. Thank you. Yeah, you all go through. Natty, I don't think I said it. Each of those gold nuggets is worth 50 gold pieces. Oh, I didn't take them.

Oh, you didn't? Okay, they're in the river then. Okay, cool. You were so bad with money. I thought he was cursed. You know, you got a bag of gold on a rickety bridge and like some sort of possessed feet. You're cursed. You're a cursed.

All right, I'm out of spells. Next puzzle is on you guys. Okay, yeah. So from here, you see that there is like a forested area to the east from here, which is the origin of the sound of grinding stone mixed with water splashing. Everybody's across, right? Yeah. Okay.

I assume you continue in that direction. Yes. Let's go to the scary grinding stone noises. Okay, yeah. You continue a little further east and you find yourself in a forest glades. The sound of grinding stone mixed with water splashing fills the air. There's a small home. made of brownish red bricks and wooden beam flat roof.

There's a wooden watermill on the side of the home that flows with the river. From this area, their exits are, of course, back towards the bridge to the west. There is a ridge down to the southwest, which geographically, you suspect, probably goes back to where granny fungus was. And then to the north, there is a moist corridor. Moist corridor, yeah. Moist corridor sounds pretty good. Yeah, everybody, make sure you don't slip and slide. Bunlap, any of this seeming familiar to you at all?

He went to the painting. I know, but like maybe he also like saw other surroundings when he went through. Oh, like we're close, maybe. No, I have never seen this before. Oh, okay. We'll stay close, just in case. I will. Hold my hand.

Doug, can I hug you? Yeah, of course. Okay. Bunlap attaches himself with like a one arm around you and a side hug, and he draws his weapon at the ready. Doug, if you get tired, I can take over. Okay, absolutely, yeah. I feel so safe. Something tells me.

You have a lot of stamina for this kind of thing, though, so I don't... I don't know if I'll get tired for a while here. Cool. Carry on through. What does that mean? That means I send Gigi ahead. Nope. We solved the last thing.

You guys figured this out. He's going through the... You said the moist tunnel area. Yeah. Corridor. Unless there, is there anything to... You said that we're like at this water mill. Is it like a building or is it just the machinery?

It was like a little house. Yeah. It's a small home. of brownish red bricks and a wooden beam flat roof, and there's a wooden water mill on the side of the home that flows with the river. Okay, well then we gotta go into the home. And then there's the corridor as well. Okay, before we go to the corridor, I see we look into the home.

Okay? Okay, yeah. Examine it, and it appears to be a quaint, beautifully built home. The bricks are defaced with obscene graffiti. Tov, what do you see? What is it that you see with your graffiti here? It says like, fart face inter only, uh, do not pass unless you have poopy, pants. Do not pass unless you have gas. Doug, what do you see? I just see like a big frowny face.

Oh, got him. She's so rude. The gangs. Yeah. Natty? It's, I see, I just see a bunch of flowers and rainbows and bubbles. How offensive. And puppies and kittens. Yeah. The worst. Oh, Natty, sorry. We're looking at this house over here. Dirtlandry to Oh yeah, that was disgusting. No, I see skulls. I see ghosts.

I see zombies. They made a whole mural. Looks like death metal just made into a painting. Underneath all of this graffiti, this terrible graffiti, you see small, deep-set windows

and a wooden cedar door that's open. And there's a ladder on the side of the building that leads to the flat roof terrace. Okay, Natty knocks on the door. It's open. Nadi walks. Yeah, you walk in and you see what appears to be an art studio and you get,

you get like the smell of paint and inside there's a stone mill that's grinding. There's pipes and a hand pump that feed a basin and there's a shelf of jars with different colored liquids and a crate of brownish-red rocks. And it appears like there's a set of clothes on the floor. Are there any paintings that we could see that are like in progress or completed in here? Yeah, you see like a various frames set up and can around the room. It seems like one of them just has a,

like it's one of them's just being started out, like it's got a wash on it, like a white wash of some kind. This may be the paintings that create the transportation portals. That's what I'm thinking. I was going to say based on the canvases, the frames and the paint colors and things like that, does this seem to look like the other paintings we've encountered? One of these paintings looks exactly like the forest outside

that you just walk through. Oh, that's trippy. Can I, can I have Mario 64 this thing? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, you, so for our younger listeners, describe what that means. God, how old is Mario 64? Like 30 years old at this point? I was going to say, it's got to be at least close to 30.

Disintegrating into my chair. Well, okay, well, I walk away 15 feet with my back turned to the painting, and then I go, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, and then I do that back skid that you can do in Mario to fast travel. And then I do a back flip, and he goes to the painting butt first. Woo-hoo! And then there's a shimmer noise, kind of like, you know, yeah, it's like, and it's like, oh, ha, ha, ha, yeah, and then that, and it says how many stars we have to earn, and then what the world's name is.

Okay, we've made up Mara 64 references. What happens? You, uh, jump into the painting, and the other three of you see Toll disappear, but you hear Toll screaming outside of the house. What? So silly. So silly. So silly.

Toll, you find yourself outside of the house. Where did I exit from? Was there like another portal or was it just like air? Just air. Yeah, out in the forest near the bridge, near the side of the bridge. Okay. Bunlap, do you remember what the room looked like? The chimera room?

Oh, oh, oh, oh, like the vault room? Yes. And if that metagame-wise, you also kind of know what it looks like because you did see that painting before it got knocked down. Yes, I remember. perhaps we could draw it ourselves. Oh my God. This is going to go bad.

Gunther, you know the only painting I can do is finger painting. This is a good one though for me. Or maybe someone who is good at painting? But that would look at the party. Are any of you here skilled with the brush? We got one guy in our party that is catchphrase. I can figure it out. Doug looks around.

Yeah, yeah, I mean, you know, it's, painting's got to be simple, right? You see something and then you use, you know, your hand to recreate it. It should be pretty straightforward, right? You got like an idetic memory, right? Yeah, definitely. Idenic. Doug, you know, as you're looking around saying this,

you see, and I mentioned that there were some clothes in the room, you see that they include a tunic, a paint splattered apron, pants and orange beret and a leather eye patch. Perhaps you could use like the apron to protect your own clothing and your fur? I think I'd put on the apron and the beret. Oh, but over here there's actually just, there's a wig that's a, that's an afro.

It's like a brown afro. I'm gonna put that on you instead. To paint happy little trees. Denim on denim. We discovered a happy accident here. All right, Doug, you're gonna give this to go? We, you're painting, a magnificent painting. Gustavo.

I love it. I'm here for it. Yeah. Does Doug have any experience painting, like stuff like this in the past? Probably not. I think he has experience drawing when it's like he's like making a blueprint for something

or like some specs and stuff like that. Sure. But I don't know if he has any experience actually with like colors and, you know, painting. But yeah. He's a good idea. I think he has a good idea of like visuals. I think that, you know,

Bunlaps, like I said earlier, it's already attached to you. I think he would be very interested in this. And between your memory of the painting and then Bundlap helping give guidance and description of what he saw and experienced firsthand being in there, you know, you begin work on putting paint to canvas and trying to recreate what you think that the vault looks like.

It'll take a few minutes for Doug to bang out this work of art. Is there anything anybody else wants to do in the meantime? If not, we can just continue with Doug. Tollva is continuously running through the portal, ending up into the woods, running back in the house through the portal. He's just, this is amazing for him. He's like, whoa.

Now he's playing with portals. Well, they're painting, I guess, look around and see if he can find anything more about what, who this person is that's doing these paintings, or if there's any paintings that show anything that could be important that are already drawn. Yeah. Hey, Gunther, come look at this painting. It's a bunch of frogs at a table and they're playing poker. You can see that, you know, there's a mill in here that's powered by that watermill outside.

It's a hand pump that seems to be connected to the river outside, which feeds river water into this basin. Various painter supplies on the shelves and jars of almost every color dye imaginable as Doug comes and goes, you know, picking up various paints. You know, maybe some are missing. Maybe Doug's got him, I don't know. And there's clothes on the floor. The fact that there's clothes on the floor,

did it look like someone raptured out of here? Like it's in a way where someone fell down and poof, out of the clothes where they laid out like that? Yeah, I guess you could say that. Yeah, that's, that is what you picture it would look like. Or is it the situation where it's like you have tummy ache and you have to go to the bathroom and you get so hot and sweaty, take off all your clothes. Oh my God, Barbara, you just described my morning.

That was that this weekend. Hey, Gunther, do you want to, while Doug's painting, do you want to check out the roof with me since there was a ladder out there? I was going to drop one more thing here for Gunther. Yeah, and as on top of all of this. you find a leather-bound book with an ink well next to it on one of the tables. Could I read the book? Yeah, you open it up and the first page says, The Diary of and Private Property belonging to Jerimothy.

Jerimothy. Gerimothy. This was another one of those words. I've looked at a million times in the module, and I'm saying it out loud for the first time. Like, oh, that's an interesting word to come off the Jerimothy. Jeremiah. Yeah, Maca Sainah had it right the first time.

Jeremy. You flipped through and it seems like it's the diary and the personal musings of an artist. Do they say anything interesting or noteworthy or why they're doing this? Totally bummed today. Decided to cut off ear. Did not go well.

Don't feel any better. Now I can't hear. Yeah, you know, you read a couple of entries and there is talk of various topics, not only art, but alchemy as well. talk of something called hopelessite dust and color pigments. There's talk of being commissioned by King Miser to paint part of the keep as a forested lake.

We're in the keep, right? No, we're not. Yeah, we are. Did we go through a painting to get here? Is that why? Is that why we're in this forest? I will say it's been a little whilst recorded that previous episode, but Natty and John, I think you were very confused

about how there was a forest in the keep, and you asked granny fungus if you were still in the keep when you were talking to her. Yeah. No, I get it. I'm deducing that this Jeremythee is like not only creating like portals, but he's actually creating these like places. Oh, can I try something out real quick? I just had an idea.

Since I've seen the notebook, I say, Jeremy, are you in here, by the way? Like, if you are naked, we can like leave, let you get dressed. We might have come in at an opportune time, and I recognize that you might be hiding because you're just like buck naked, you know? Anybody? You get no reply.

Okay, all right, Dermoth he's not here. And what was it? Who was it? King, who was he drawn? King Miser. King Miser had commissioned him. It's M-Y-Z-E-R. Okay.

What's, you said, hopeless site? Hopeless site, yeah. Dust. And what was the other thing? A lot of talk of alchemy, hopelessite dust, dyes and painting. Gunther, anything else you want to look at or try to figure out?

No, I can let Natty raise the roof. All right, Natty. Does anyone want to accompany Natty? I think she had reached out offer to maybe toll for someone to go up there. Gunther. Gunther. All right, let us go. Okay.

Let's just see. It's kind of weird. There's a ladder outside, a little terrace up there. Let's see. Yeah. Both of you climb up the ladder, and on the rooftop you find a wooden stool and an easel with a painted portrait on a canvas of a human. What's he looked like?

The painting appears to be that of an androgynous young adult with a birthmark on their forehead wearing an orange beret and a leather eye patch. You recognize that beret as being the one that Doug is wearing right now. And there was an eye patch in the pile of clothes. It was like a self-porture. We got like a Norman Rockwell situation going here. Yeah, and there's a palette and a paintbrush

with dried up paint in front of the painting. And looking around, you see a gaping hole in the roof, roughly the size of a person. Wait, so Jeremyothy, they were up here painting their portrait. They fell through the roof and then somehow they gone, clothes not gone. Right. Hey, Jeremythy, are you in there? Oh, is that Jeremythy in the painting?

It does not reply. Okay. But does it move? No, it does not move. Is it any move yet? It's not a mermaid painting. Is the whole, okay, so Tov is still in the room, is the whole, can he see Natty and Gunther up on the roof? Is that where the hole leads down to?

Yeah. Yeah, now that they're looking down, you see it. It's right above where the clothes were on the floor. What's underneath all the clothes? I want, one of you made a comment in passing that I just want to circle back on earlier. Do you remember how you described the clothes being laid out on the floor? They were like, I asked if they were laid out in a way where it's like they got raptured out, like as if they just poofed, disappeared out of their clothes.

So did they get summoned back into their painting? and then I sucked up into the roof back into their painting. Can I tickle him? Can I tickle them? What are you doing? What's going on here, Gunther? Should we take a second here? You start tickling the painting, but nothing happens.

Can I look through the clothes? Maybe they got trunken in size. Maybe a teeny tiny now. Did you, why did you say it looked like someone got raptured, Blaine slash Tolv? What made you think about that? Just because if the clothes were just in a way where it's just like they fell down and disappeared, it'd just be so strange. Otherwise, I feel like they'd be like folded or stacked on top of each other and put on like a chair.

The fact that clothes are on the ground, so unceremonious means like, yeah. I thought maybe Tov was recalling a fairly recent experience he had witnessing people getting raptured. Oh, the bloodbather. Oh, remember that? He took the humans. The humans, yeah. I think Jeremy Thee was a human. Yeah, you know that they are human because you saw them on the painting.

Wait, so then is that mean that all humans? It wasn't just the ones at Fort Meadow. It was like all humans. Yeah, we can write a book about what is like for us to be left behind by them eventually. Yeah. I don't know not there, but can we recall if we've actually seen any humans since? Yeah. Doug, you don't think you have seen any human since them.

Yeah. Wow. Okay. So they were like in the middle of their self-portrait and then they got taken away. Okay. But why would they have fallen through a hole and then poofed out of their clothes? You could think of it like maybe they had come back in for a drink of water or to get a supply or something. Why is there a hole in the roof?

They got sucked up maybe. There you go. Oh, God. How painful. Ouch. Wow. Because that is how you saw. Came off when they tried to go through the hole.

It's just. That is how you saw. happened at Fort Meadow. The humans were extracted into the sky. Okay. Kind of horrifying. Wow. Okay. Well no, they're they're okay. The blood baiters protecting them. They're fine. Yeah? Yeah. What is they're left to protect but the broken neck? Who needs necks when you're in when you're in heaven? Let's check on Doug's painting. Yeah. I hope that he that he hasn't painted Bunlap into the painting. I think you're putting the finishing touches on it and it looks

amazing. Are you sure you never done this before? Well, you know, I think, well, maybe Doug picked up a new skill accidentally. That's really good. What you guys think? How good does it look? Like, on a scale from 1 to 10. Should I roll? I was going to say it's really good.

I was going to give you the benefit because you're also working with Bunlap. Let's say, if I were to rate it on a scale of 1 to 10, it's like an 8, 8.5. So this is basically Doug's painting of Bunlap's recalling of the room that they were in. And of the painting that we saw. Right. You all did see a window into it as well when you were in the hall where you were talking to the golden rod. Okay, so he's got, so Doug has some inspiration. It's like someone who saw a painting and then tried to recreate the painting.

And also talking to someone who was there firsthand to help guide the direction of the painting. I mean, I'm willing to be a guinea pig and jump through this portal painting if we want to give it a try. Doug, I am going to do something here. Before, sorry, you can try that, absolutely. But, Doug, I want you to make me a performance check. Oh no, why? Six? What's a six going to do, guess?

Da-da-da-da-da-da-da. You're going to stay with that. Don't want to use anything else. It's up to you. I use my inspiration die. My performance is just so bad. Oh. Okay, 13?

Can you flash a genius yourself? I don't think I need to. The painting's great. It's still 8.5. Really great piece of art. I'm going to say because you rolled a decent performance role, that you have gained proficiency in the painting skill. Wow.

You gain proficiency in painting with these tools, I should say. Now, that's job security right there. Way to go, Doug. In awe, Natty just whispers, he figured it out. I mean, if this works, though, we've unlocked some crazy power. I mean, we could just paint like, this is the Infernes killing gun machine, you know, painting. And then I walk in, I pull it out, and then Bada Bada Bum, we'll kill Infernes. But maybe it needs hopeless sight dust.

to work. I do not know. Or like a certain type of canvas or paint or something like that. Maybe it only works in certain situations. We'll have to dig. We'll have to find out more. You can get there, stick a finger, test the waters. Yeah. You stick your finger into the painting and it disappears. Oh! It's like through the painting. Wait. He pulls it out. It's gone.

There's no, wait, wait, wait, wait. As in like I punch a hole through it? No, no, no, no. It goes into the painting. You're the nine-finger toad. It's a momento situation. I think it is, I think it worked. Shall we all hold? How big is this painting?

How big is the canvas? He didn't make it to scale. It's like a 24 by 12 inch. We'll say like a 24 by 36, something like that. Okay. Like movie poster size. That's not bad. We can't go in all together at the same time,

but I have some 24 by 36 over there. Oh, 12. You and I might be a little too big for this. You can fit into small places. You're a bug bear. You can squeeze through. That's true. Tov, you might have some issues with this.

As a good friend once told me, I can figure it out. Nettie pulls out of power drills. Like, we can take you apart and make you so just pieces go through. Stop looking for the off button. I swear to God. It's not going to happen. I will not tell you you're not going to find it. Shall we?

I guess so. No time like the present. I think we shall. Blues could do. What order do y'all go in? I'll go in first. All right. That's confidence. That's an artist's confidence right there. I was debating first or less because I'm like, do I have to go down with the ship or, you know.

Bunlap will follow you and go in right behind you, Doug. I'll go behind Bunlap. I'll make sure he's secure. I'll follow him. And then Natty, bringing up the rear. Okay, you all dive into the painting and emerge in what appears to be a vast treasure vault. The floor trickles with gold coins reflecting torchlight. All around the vault are arched caverns filled with mounds of unique gold and treasures, like weapons, furniture, and so on. On the ceiling, you spot a gilded frame painting,

and next to it is what you assume to be the chimera, but it looks different. All the heads and body parts have changed to different beasts, and it stands upside down on the ceiling, roaring down. But not at you, but at a group of Undarian Tauruses, clanging with cowbells and throwing catalanxes at the enraised monstrosity. One Toria spots you all.

Boy, that crope folks back and he's got friends with him. And slam! Another golden door across the vault swings open and a posse of Goliath Gold Chasers bursts in. In the name of the golden rod! You should all vacate his vault at once. Gunther, that's when you spotted. Betwixt the three heads of the chimera,

lodged into its glass shard scales, is the sacred relic stolen from your village. The Wilder Shield. We've got a three-way standoff. This is going to get hairy. Especially because they have three heads. Find out how. how it all resolves in the next episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon.

I can't believe that that plan worked. That's so cool. Well, let's see if it may have led to victory. It may have led to your death. We'll find out next time. That was fine with me. Summer is hot, but what's even hotter is our Patreon. And what's even harder than that is our Patreon with memberships at 20% off. Get all your content, ad-free, tons of bonus shows and podcasts and access to our Discord by becoming a member of our party. All memberships, both monthly and annual, are available for 20% off using code summer stink. That's all one word, all uppercase.

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John has a question. What is sandalwood and why is everybody like how it smells? Oh. I actually don't know what it is. Is it a plant? But it's a very nice, like, masculine kind of smell. I assume it's a tree, yeah, because it has wood in the name, but I've never, I've never looked. You all just been loving this smell.

You don't know what it is. It's like, yeah. You smellers are weird. Everyone's Googling right now. It is a fine-grained wood derived from trees in the santolum genus. I don't know what that word is. All right. So it's a tree.

It's a tree. Yeah. Yeah. It's really nice. It's a very like masculine, woody smell. It's very good. Oh.

Smells like outdoorsy. Oh, okay. Thank you. Put it in like a nice way. Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. And lemons are a very tart fruit. They're yellow. Thank you.

That was my fall-up question. Beat me to it.