Tales from the Stinky Dragon - C03 - Ep. 50 - Under Oondar Fire - Chalice in Oondarland

Episode Date: August 19, 2026

Brutaliteam chases down Giggy while on the run from several factions in Chimirrora Keep! Support us directly on Patreon https://www.patreon.com/stinkydragon - get access to ad-free episodes, bonus content like Stinky Dragon Adventures & Second Wind, our patreon-exclusive discord, and more! Check out our new merch at store.stinkydragonpod.com - Dice, Player Character Tees, Blankets, Hoodies, and more! Follow us on our socials at https://linktr.ee/TalesFromTheStinkyDragon Cast: Gus Sorola, Blaine Gibson, Barbara Dunkelman, Jon Risinger, Chris Demarais Writer/Editor/Composer: Micah Risinger Producer: Benjamin Ernst Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Volvo is leaving the chaos of rush hour outside. Start by settling into your saddle-stitched Napa leather seats. Notice the open space around you, unc cluttered, elegant, intentional, warm ambient light, and natural wood details to ground you. This is Volvo's Scandinavian sanctuary for every journey. Learn more at Volvocars.caps.ca, optional features mentioned. Real Canadian Superstore has everything you need this back-to-school season.

Save on lunchbox savers like Ziggy's sliced deli-Me products for always $375. And get life brand pure Vita shampoo or conditioner for $8 each. At Real Canadian Superstore, when you're ready, we're ready, with a whole world and more. Hey, I'm Arne Neekam from the fully improvised comedy podcast, Hello from the Magic Tavern. I'm here with my co-hosts, John the Talking Badger, Bing Bong, and Yucinor the Wizard. I greet the listeners. I'm trapped in the magical land of foon. So I started a podcast interviewing elves, unicorns, and other weirdos.

We have great guests like Felicia Day, Jason Manzschus, Brennan Lee Mulligan, Amy Mann, and so many more. Oh, and I think one time we interviewed a sentient shoe? I hope it was sentient. Not to mention the evil people we've had to interview. How I hate evil. Join us as we bar crawl across the magical land of foon. Looking for adventure. Getting caught up in escapades.

Hello from the man. Magic Tavern is available right now on your favorite podcast app and add free and with lots of bonus content on Patreon. Subscribe to Hello from the Magic Tavern today. What's going on all you oracles of storms? Drift on into the stinky dragon and coiffar lettuce cupa, silver lining divining. It's a mixture of macha powder of mortals, rebirth rice milk, hails of ice, duality of form foam and topped with storm clouds of sugary soothane. One throwback of this thunderous thirst quencher and you'll be saying, see you're later. That's a medium joke, but I make it look easy.

Previous there adventurers were in a battle between bullheaded Undarians, gold-chasing Golias, and the crystalline colossus called the chimera. In a shattering and smattering of events, Gunther grabbed the Wilder's shield but was wiped out. Tov traversed the top of the treasure vault, and Gigi gave up the ghost, but was granted another go thanks to Natty and the silent steed. But what's behind the golden door? Round up our refreshment and let's see what's in store.

Hello, everyone. Welcome to Tales from the Stingy Drag, and I'm your Dungeoner, I was a roll and I'm going to hit our four players with an arrow. Why am I doing that? Stop. What's going on? I don't like this. This one thing you like most about Gunther included.

What? Everyone go ahead and roll me a D20. Pass. I'm kidding. Okay, seven. 11. Oh, thank Kevin. Sorry.

Sponsors. Ten. One. We're a quick trip family. I went and saw a production that was put on by my daughter's high school group, and it was the one, it was one of their plays where they directed it and everything like that. I can't tell you how many six, seven references they worked into their production. Brutal. Don't get me started.

I made that joke on one episode, and half the comments were just like, Barbara? No. No. It's a timeless classic. Remember in Breakfast at Tiffany's, what Hodry Hepburn standing out on the street? She goes six, seven, and puts her hands up and down. in her hands. And then Mickey Rooney comes down in a super regrettable racist area type character.

Ooh, boy, that's a classic. That stands the test of time. Classic. Give me the impression that he says when he says six seven. Stop, stop, stop. Please, let's just talk about Gunther. It's less awkward. It's Tov Natty Doug Gunther.

Tov, what's one thing you like most about Gunther? Yes. Also introduce yourself. It's Blaine. I play Tov the male orc barbarian. Thumbtech barbarian. and oh, Gunther, where do I begin? He might be the smallest guy on the battlefield,

but he's one of the bravest and mightiest. And although he may be the rebut of jokes, he rolls with the punches. And I just think that he's such a nice little dude who's down for anything. Aw. Wow. Oh, God, you were right there the whole time.

Are you saying he's down for anything because he's so short? Yes, yeah, you do his high. Very good. He is the shortest member of the team. Small person, but big talk from Toll. Thank you, Toll. Natty, I believe you're up next. Yes, I am John Reiser, and I play Natty Wonder,

who is a drought warlock drag queen mother of one very special little boy. Scary boy. Who has a very big job ahead of him. So scary now. And speaking of which, you know, thinking about, like, what's my favorite part about Gunther? and there's just so many good things to say. Oh, where do I start?

Where do I start? No, I was thinking about this for a second, and I was like, you know what? My favorite thing about Gunther is that he is a very curious and enigmatic creature that I do want to know more about, and I'm just glad that I got to meet him before the apocalypse happens. Oh. And I'm going to assume that before the end of times approaches us,

I finally get all the answers about your weird little backstory that you won't tell us about. So that's my favorite thing about Gunther is I'm going to get answers eventually. I feel like that's the opposite of something you like about someone, is that this circumstance has forced us into finding out stuff about him. No, I mean, I would say that if I did like him, or the opposite that would be like, oh, why'd I have to meet you before the apocalypse? I wish I met you after it. True.

Wow, that's beautiful. Wow. What a nice thing to say. Oh, sincere. Yeah, beautiful in its own weird way. Yeah. I think we know you well enough, Natty, now to know that that's a true compliment. That's the kind of eulogy at a funeral where it's like, I didn't have any friends in it. Hey, weird compliments for weird little guys. And I love spending time with you. All right. My turn? Yeah, Doug. Yeah, you're up. Absolutely. Well, hello, everyone. I'm Barbara Dunkel, and I play Doug.

Boone the bugbear artificer. And, you know, actually, I agree with Natty. There's a lot of things to like about Gunther. So many things. Where do we begin? How do we countaways? I think you're just drawing things out. Let me open my notepad and look at all the reasons I've written down of why I love

Gunto. And I will tell you those things right now post-haste soon. Post-Hase soon. Webster's Dictionary defines Gunter. Well, actually, I got to tell you guys. There's something that you guys. don't know about Gunther that I do.

And Gunther, I'm sorry to out you about this, but... He's gay? Gunther gives the best back scratches. He knows how to just get in there. He finds a little itch on my back and he scratches, you know, got a lot of fur that he has to get through. But it's really

nice and he's just really attentive on those back scratches. This is like those little birds are on the back of hippopotamuses, right? Like a little symbiotic relationship in nature. Listen, not everyone's willing to of Doug a little backstretched. Well, I mean, he lacks bugs and, you know, maybe, I don't know what's in your fur.

I think he might be looking for flies in there, to be honest. This is how we find out you have lies. Oh, no. He's been picking them out for you. I will not lie. I do say there are sometimes some bugs in there are delicious. But I want to make sure that the knots are out of your muscles and also your fur. Oh, yeah, exactly.

So he's just a really caring guy and a really good friend overall. But those backscratches guys, they, uh, huh. Something to write home about that's for sure. The clutch. Good back scratches. I did not, Doug, I did not know you suffered from itchy back, but here we are. Oh, have you seen me? I guess that's true.

That's true. Have you seen a lot of them? Have you seen me? Actually, no. In my mind's eye. All right, Gunther, you're a blast. Say something nice about yourself. I am Chris Ramersstein.

And I just want to say that it's all these nice things that everyone has said to me. It's just so nice. And after, wait a second. Quine? Did I die? Oh, is this my funeral? Am I watching my... Last I remember, I had died. I had fallen. Oh, my goodness. I'm watching my friends give a eulogy over me.

It was pretty okay. Good night, sweet prince. Who's eulogy? Did you like the best? Oh, I like the part about the back scratches. That's how you want to be remembered. Amazing grace. Yeah, you can sing that one. No, that sounds like that doesn't have copyright.

Royalty free. Bice, bice, bice, bice, bice, bice, bice. I know none of you can hear me, or I assume I am a ghost. But I will say, since to wrap up this eulogy that the thing I like most about myself is the amazing people I have in my life who I do not deserve more better than me,

and yet they are still my friends. The three here who were giving me this beautiful eulogy and Bunlap and my beautiful wife, Borna and my children. My favorite thing about you is also Bunlap, actually. And that is what I would say. And with that, goodbye. Gunther! Oh, he's gone.

Oh, he farted. Say hello to Addie's wife for us. What a beautiful moment. And curse you, Barbara, you stole my joke. I was going to say my favorite thing about Gunther was that he introduced me to Bunlap. Yeah. You race down the passageway and you find a golden door that must be locked because Gigi's at it, pawing at it, from this side of the room.

That's weird. Uh, Gigi, do you, do you know what's in there? Are you just, are you just trying to, are you a little scared? His head turns around 360. Well, yeah. He lets out a roar louder than anything you've ever heard him make it before. I think Natty would walk up to the door. I think she would like, like, still in this, like, crazed state he's in.

Nanny would still, like, trust that, you know, her wife and Gigi are doing something they're supposed to and would try to open the door. Like, is it a doorknob? You turn at the doorknob and the door opens. Okay. Somewhere in the distance, the silent steed has a downtrodden look on her face. A single tear falls down her cheek. It's black and sandy.

She looks up and says, No. It begins. The Apocalypse is nigh. Natty, you opened the golden door that Gigi continues to paw at. You're immediately confronted by a wall of water. In fact, the whole room before you appears to be a submerged chapel. The water churns and bubbles with religious furnishings floating about.

The wall to the east is made of solid gold, and in the center of the chapel is an aquamarine chalice sitting atop a pedestal. And without warning, Gigi plunges into the submerged room headfirst with a splash. Hold on. Wall of water, but not a wall of water. Wall of water would mean that there's, now I've opened up a room, Paddington style, and the water's rushing out. Or is it like a waterfall? It is a wall of water, but it's not like, so there is water coming out,

but it's not like an overwhelming, drenching amount that's pushing you back. So it's not a fully submerged room. It is, the room is fully submerged, but let's call it a half wall of water, if that helps you mentally picture it. I think it made it worse, guess. I'm not in the room. Micah has a better description I'll go with it

Go figure The writer is better at At the setting the scene Since we're playing in a world with magic Imagine that it's a wall of water But the water is not rushing out It's like gelatinous Okay, that's yeah

Because also we're Gravity's all weird It's kind of like Stargate You know the really bad visual effects From Stargate Right Gus? The great visual effects Yeah

I like Stargate Hey What do you do? Me too We tell you about, I started saying. The visual effects were, you know, like a wall of water. Okay. It was fine.

We cut back to the treasure vault. The remaining Toriuses look down at their fallen comrade, now torn asunder. Toll, even from the ceiling, you see a vain redness take over Etun Darien's eyes and a look you're all too familiar with. Rage. These bulls are ready to charge. Doug, Bundlap's dreamy golden eyes look into yours. Time slows down.

There's nothing but you in his perfectly chiseled chin and luscious slips. Oh, my God. Doug, look after Gunther. Get him and the Wildershield out of this keep. I'll hold the Indarians off as long as I can. I don't know if I'll ever see you again, but I want you to know, Doug. I would happily cook a meal with you any time. Yeah, uh, anything for you, Bunlap.

I'll take good care of your friend Gunter and when this is all over, we'll definitely, we'll do that. Yeah. As Bunlap hands you the Wilder Shield, He offers you a wink. He backflips high into the air like an angelic amphibian. He effortlessly lands across the room with lance already in hand and rush his support the now charging Tauruices. Time speeds back up. Doug, you have seconds to take action.

What do you want to do, Doug? We have Natty and Gigi have exited to the southwest. Gambot is made of solid gold now. Toll is enraged and engaged his overclock protocol, now ballistically battling the chimera upside down on the ceiling. The gold chasers are crowded to the southeast. they appear to have run out of patience and their eyeing your group. The painting of the Golden Rod's Great Hall is still stuck to you and facing the ceiling. Bunlap is single-handedly taken on a group of Tauracist to the southwest,

barely holding them at bay, and Gunther is on death's door, or perhaps some more fitting idiom, he's about a croak. What do you do, Doug? Could I run towards Gunther to try to swoop him up, and in the process also grab Gambot and, like, stow him away, and be like, I'll deal with that later, essentially? Sure. As you pick up Gunther and Gambat and you have this momentum going, is there a direction you're heading towards or is there a bigger goal in mind beyond this immediate action? I think just getting out of this room, getting away from all of these things that are trying to kill us, essentially.

Imagine when you pick Gunther up, you're just kind of dragging him like he's like a stuffed sample and he's just like he's just a floppy little puppet man. No, I think Doug has learned a lot from his fellow teammates and I think he would, a slide move and try to scoop Gunther up off the ground in a really heroic way. Oh, that's pretty cool. But he just slide tackles into Gunther's carcass. He's kick him in the head. He might. He might.

So when you say you're going to be making your way towards an exit, there are two exits to this room that you're aware of. There's the exit to the southwest that Gigi and Natty have gone through. And there's also the exit to the southeast where the gold chasers came through. I think I'd probably want to follow Natty. Okay, so picking up Gambot, sliding smoothly, picking up Gunther, and then trying to continue in the direction of the Southwest, kind of following along the direction Natty and Giggy went out of. Yes, and I don't know if it's too many moves, but could I also do cure wounds on Gunther as I'm running with him? Well, you're running, we can play it like this. You are...

Because I'm touching him. Running, which is movement. You pick up Gunther and Gambot, which we can fudge that. say they're both as a bonus action, which would leave you an action. So you wouldn't be able to double move, but you would be able to move your movement speed, which I believe is 30 feet in the direction of the door. And you could do that. Before we resolve that cure wounds, there is something that I want to do first.

Is it another Bunlap little romantic moment for me? Perhaps. Perhaps. Micah came up with a new table here that I'm excited to use. Oh, no. It's called Wounds. and trauma. And Gunther, since you dropped to zero hit points, we need you to roll on the wounded table.

Yeah. And it's going to, think of it like a bit of an effect that might carry with you because as a consequence from what has happened here. Like permanent? Or till long rest? Well, we'll see what he rolls. And then we'll see what it says.

And we'll play it by ear and go from there. What do I roll? So I want you to roll me a D8, Chris. Want to know how I got these scars? Yeah, I was going to see, if you got a cool eye scar, I, you know. Eight. You know, it's either really good or really bad. Okay.

So. I think it's great. I think it's really bad. you get all of the injuries. go to therapy. Don't y'all. That's my better hope. So you have what Micah has dubbed a trauma effect, which means you're terrified and the circumstances around your trauma are all you can think about.

So the downfall of that, or the downside from this, is that you cannot use class features for one session. So you cannot use any of your fighter features for this episode. A whole episode? Yeah. Listen, as far as trauma goes, that's not that bad. If, just to expand a little further on this, if you continue to receive trauma, there are, they are cumulative. There are additional points that can get, yeah, that can get added on. And trauma points can only be removed by extraordinary, often magical means.

So it's kind of bad, to put it mildly. So I have it until something extraordinary happened. Or the end of the session. No, I can do the whole thing. I can do it until something extraordinary. Or until next thing. I'll go hard. It's not a challenge, Chris.

Let's get a trauma. Okay. That being resolved and that being talked about, which I'm very excited about. Doug, you can go ahead and do your cure wounds. I do. Eight points of wound heel. Which stabilizes. Yes.

With cure wounds, is it like a touch? It is a touch. Yeah. He's got the touch. Give me a back massage. Like, I've always gave you. Yeah, as I'm running with him, could I give him some scritch some scritches? on the back.

He's in too much of a rush, so he has to do a Three Stooges style like... You scratch my back, I scratch yours. They are curative healing scritches. And I don't know if I said this, Michael just pointed it out, so I want to say it to be safe. I did mention that trauma points are cumulative.

That trauma point stays with you beyond this episode. The effects last this episode, but in the future, you might get a second trauma point, which means you would have two, which would be a different, more severe consequences.

Oh, yeah, yeah. I thought D&D was a work of fiction. Okay, what is happening? So I'm sorry, I want to focus on this a little bit more. Like, long term, if he goes down again or if he goes below a certain threshold, then it takes effect? We don't know. Oh, interesting.

If he falls to zero hit points, then he rolls on the wounds table again. Then if he ends up with a trauma again, he gets another trauma point. So it would not only the next episode be like he can't use class features, but whatever else for a session. Right. Well, it would just be like a level two trauma.

Level two trauma. Maybe we could talk more about this as a second wind. That's great. Yeah. What are you showing our Patreon? Go to Stigrayag's on. I'm also just like, I want to play. I want to play.

Yeah. It's an interesting game. Probably want to write that down in your note. There are some other circumstances that could prock wounds. Again, we'll get into that in Second Wind, which is a show available for at every level of support on our Patreon. John, which you can check out at stinky dragonpod.com. John, take an inspiration die if you don't have one

for playing Second Wind. Also, it's every other week, so... That wasn't even funny, though, Gus. Take away an inspiration die. No, no, no. I work hard for these. Okay, between all of that movement and the action you took, Doug, that would put you probably

pretty close to the threshold of the door to the southwest. Freshhold? Ugh. So am I, I'm conscious again? Yeah, you're... just getting back scritches in Doug's arms. It's okay, little guy.

I'll take good care of you. And not only because Bunlap asked me to. I'm imagining that scene from 101 Dalmatians where the ones trying to like revive the one little dead puppy in his palm. That's Gunther in Doug's hands. And he's just like rubbing Gunther. He dies in 101 Dalmatians? No, it almost does.

Oh, God. It's like I'm holding a frog, basically. It doesn't sound very lucky. He's lucky because he survives. Oh, oh, oh. You'll be okay, big guy. I thought that was your little guy. You'll be okay, little guy.

Where's everyone? Sleep time. Doug begins choking him out. Shh, shh, don't waste your energy. No talk, only sleep. Only sleep. Okay, that's it for your turn then, Doug. I assume there's nothing else you can do.

Yeah, okay. So we already have, just a reminder since this is a new episode, So we already have an initiative order we were working through. And Nati, you had gone last in the previous episode, which is why Doug went now, which means we're on to the Toreuses who are engaged in combat with Bunlap. Bunlap is doing his best to hold back to charging Toreases so you all can escape. It seems like he's on the verge of being overwhelmed, but he is managing to hold them at bay as he deftly leaps around with his lance.

Which brings us to the gold chasers, and after the gold chasers, we're back up to the top of the order. So after them, it's going to be Gunther, Bunlap, and the chimera. The gold chasers, they seem pleased at the fact that Doug is making his way towards the exit, and it seems like they're drawing weapons and becoming impatient at the scene that's playing out before them. And they got a red blanket to wave at them? Like the Matador? It's funny you say that because the Tauriocyst are a little more like bulls. Yeah, you had mentioned that, so I thought.

Yeah, yeah. The gold chasers are more like Goliath-like. Mm, gotcha. Okay, that's it for. for the goal chasers, which means we go back up to the top of the order. So Gunther, then Bunlap and Chimera. Gunther, you find yourself in Doug's arms at the threshold of the door to the southwest of the vault.

Okay, and Bunlap's losing, it seems like, what's he doing? What's his, like, can you be specific about what his actual actions are? Like, what's he holding with, what's he wielding? Yeah, he's wielding that lance with the bird beak tip. And he's fighting for Toriuses who are in. that southwest corner who seemed to be enraged. It's not too much for him. You know, I think you kind of, you let it slip out, he's losing,

but I wouldn't go that far. He's holding his own in this four-on-one, and it seems like he's keeping them at bay trying to buy time for B-Team to make their escape. And Doug has the axe and the shield? Yes, Doug is currently in possession of both of those items. Okay. And then upstairs, the chimera, what's...

They're just fine. Just to clarify, since you said upstairs, On the ceiling is the chimera and toll engaged in combat. I know, and a fun house in here. Both you and Doug, since you're at the threshold to the door to the southwest, you can see down that corridor and you can see Natty standing at that door with what appears to be a wall of water and Giggy doing the backstroke through it. Okay.

It's not a very efficient swim style to make it through this matchful room of water. He's not in his right mind right now. It turns out he's doing the brushstroke, but his head has turned out he's doing the brushstroke, but his head has turned all the way around in his possession. Yuck! Yuck! Oh! Real Canadian Superstore has everything you need this back-to-school season. Save on lunchbox savers like Ziggy's sliced deli-meat products for always 375.

And get Life Brand Pure Vita shampoo or conditioner for $8 each. At Real Canadian Superstore, when you're ready, we're ready, with a whole world and more. Hey, y'all, it's Kelly Clarkson with Wayfair. Ever order furniture online and wonder, what if? Like, what if it doesn't hold up? That sofa was four days old. You should have ordered from Wayfair. With Wayfair, there's no what-if.

Just style you love and quality you can trust. Visit wayfair.ca. Wayfair, every style, every home. Do you remember that feeling of your first critical hit? Are you one of those people who are getting ready to start that journey? Well, I have a show for you. It's called Girls Who Don't D&D because none of this all-female team of players has ever joined a D&D game before or any other role-playing game. They go from learning, which dice is what, to challenging the gods themselves.

They're surrounded by a beautiful, chaotic environment that's been described as a cross between Terry Pratchett's Discworld and Douglas Adams' Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy and to World, you can be part of two. That's because their listeners perform. pre-recorded sections that fit into each show. Those parts and the rest of the show sound amazing with carefully added music and effects that bring a touch of the cinematic to your experience. It's kind of cool how they're complete amateurs when they started and they really progress.

I think you can probably, you know, we can relate to that with Talesman of Stinky Dragon starting off kind of as newbies and then really learning the game as we go. I think that's a great way to approach it. And you can join this group of unassuming Australians otherwise known as the girls who don't D&D on any device that lets you stream podcast. But I'm warning you, this one's addictive,

heartwarming, heartbreaking, and very, very funny. Since Gunther doesn't have any of his fighting abilities, Gunther wants to pull out his gun. What? Not a gun? What'd you get that? You can't spell Gunther without gun.

I have. I got it from some fight like forever ago. Oh, you're serious. You do have a... I do have a gun. Oh, was it from one of the pirates? I also want to point out, Chris is holding his hand up in a gun motion right now as he looks for the details.

Also, non-zero chance that someone. would just heard Chris yell. I do have a gun. I just have it as pistol. So if there's specifics to it, I don't know. All right. So you pull out your gun and what are you going to do with it? I guess I'll shoot to the chimera.

Go ahead. Make my day. As he's half dying in my arms, just holding a gun out. And then shoot it. All right. And you're going to fire it at the chimera. Got it. Okay.

Yeah. I want to try and distract it from Tov. But it's not loaded. And since it's a flintlock pistol, he needs about five minutes to load it. Well, I assume it's been loaded. I'd had it. The block powder in. I'm sure.

I'm sure. Yeah. Now put the rod away. Tamp. Tamp. It's wet. You got a towel. Oh, no.

I believe I have found the item you're talking about. You pull out your flint lock. Aim it in the direction of the ceiling. Set your sights on the chimera and pull the trigger. Yeah. wait for this bullet to ricochet and hit you. Immediately going off the armor and into me. Just this monstrous creature made out of armor-like mirrors.

Won't even notice, unfazed. Don't give him ideas. Stop, John. Listen, I don't need to give Gus ideas to kill your characters. I know, I know. We got plenty of ideas on that. Gus just pulls out a notebook. Ways to kill Blaine's characters.

Volume one. He wrote them all of themselves. With a thunderous roar, the flintlocked pistol lets out a cone of flame in the direction of the ceiling. Both the chimera and tolls

need to make dexterity safe. It's all right, Chris. That's not what's written on my pistol. This is the pistol of friendship, Gus. He's talking about the pistol that he just custom added to his inventory that has no connection to what Micah or Gus made.

I said I got a gun and I added a gun. No, yeah. That's what I'm saying. I am looking at the specific gun you picked up. You said deck save? Yeah. Yeah, dexterity saving throw. Okay.

Fortunately, I have advantage. So that's a 19 for the first one. Nice. And a 15 for the second one. Matrix. Yes. Okay. Ooh.

There is no spoon. Both of those are successful. I'm going to go ahead and roll a dexterity saving throw for the chimera. Can you fail, please? Oh, I absolutely might. Let's see. Gunther's got a gun. I had bad news, playing.

I rolled a 20. Shoot. I saw it just going at 21. Oh, no. A peppering of steel shot rains all around both the chimera and Toll. You both succeeded on your same thing, so you take half damage. Each of you takes five points of fire damage. And since I'm raging, do I just take two?

No. No, you take five because it's fire. Oh, yeah. He didn't even hear the type of damage. said Gus, he just was already ready to say that. To be there, as all of us who have played barbarians before, sometimes we forget. Yeah.

Yep, it happens. Leave me alone. You haven't played barbarians. You don't know our life. Yeah, you don't know it. You're not in the council. Listen, I've had to experience three barbarians. Which one was the best?

Yeah, go ahead, John. Rank them. Yeah. That'll be on our new supplementary podcast where it's John's drag race, but it's just barbarians. Oh, okay. You all compete as barbarians. This week is a design challenge. Please make your best unarmored underwear to be wearing as a barbarian.

Wonderware. Wonderver. Is there anything else you want to do, Gunther? I think I've done enough. I guess I will do a, I haven't already, take a second wind. Use a bonus action to regain 1D10. Which you could find on stinky dragonpod.com. Is a second wind a class feature?

Oh, it is. Uh-oh. Yeah. Dang. This is already coming back to bite you. Yeah. What was it called? Trauma?

Yeah. Yeah. Bummer. Trauma's always come back to bite us down there. Yeah, they really do. Well, that's it then. It's okay, Gunther, you did good, kids. You have like a health potion?

No. I just have a gun. That's the only thing in your inventory. You have like a gun of healing for chance? Yeah, I tried using it on you. It did five damage. All right, that means it is bundlapped her. He continues to cross weapons with Vitoriouses, keeping them at bay,

with lightning-fast flurry of attacks from his lance. Which brings us to the chimera, who has been peppered with shot from this flintlock pistol, who roars in anger. His heads, all three of them, whip around, staring at Gunther in your arms there, Doug. Pardon, Gunther and Doug. Yeah. Yes, yes, thank you.

You decided to pick up the frog with a gun. Listen. We're at the doorway. Yeah, it is unhappy. The chimera leaps off of the ceiling and with unfurls giant pterodactyl wings and glides effortlessly down and lands right next to you, Doug. Does it, though? Why?

Why do you say that? Because I have an opportunity of attack and I also is a thing that reduces their movement to zero. Sorry, this is a barbarian thing. Oh, may I continue? With a flash of mirrors, the chimera dazzles you to the point where you're unable to take any attack of opportunity on it as it glides away. I just saw, just death enter Blaine's eyes as you said that. Tov upside down, frumps down criss-cross applesauce really mad. Sitting on the ceiling.

This is poopy. The chimera is a beast with many abilities. and it's going to use some of those attack ones right now on you, Gunther. Oh, God, I'm going to get more trauma today. It's now just Doug holding Gunther up to block whatever the chimeras. The frog shield. Once again, like in the ice cap keep, Doug's going to turn into an outline of dust and just disappear.

If you want me, you're going to have to go through him. So brave. That's the same, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, the left head is currently a walrus. It's going to try to gore you, Gunther, with its giant tusks. You know how walruses do. Yeah, they do.

They attack with them. Are you talking about? I just not heard of a whale, a whale mall somebody. Yeah. A walrus. Walrus. Oh, walrus. Sorry.

That hits AC23. What was this attack again that it did on me? Tusks. It's attacking you with its walrus tusks. It's attacking you with a Kevin Smith movie. That's good one. No, it's not. No, no, the joke was good.

The movie was not. Don't forget you're traumatized. Yeah. Do any sort of fighter things. That's my inner voice talking to me all the time. Don't forget your traumatized. Hey, John. Hey, you're traumatized.

Sorry, pal. How did his brain get on microphone in here? And then my Zoloft goes, no, you're not as much anymore. Yeah, y'allel. And then they are really fine. And then they hug. And then they had a baby. Are you still researching Chris?

Yeah, I'm just coming up with a plan. Keep it simple. I'm looking at my reactions and see. Can the plan just be you take the damage? Well, no, because I don't have much damage to take. I mean, aren't reactions going to inherently be tied to your class? Yeah. Sorry, what did you, how much was the AC of the hit?

23. 23. What is your AC right now? Not 23. Yeah. Oh, God. Oh, I forgot. It got halved.

Oh, my God. Yeah. Never mind. I can't do it. I had a way to block it. I'm not trying to prolong this. But doesn't he have the Wilder's Shield? Does that not account for a...

No, I have the Wilder Shield. Okay. Okay, continue on. I take it. But if I have it, he has... I mean, we're... No, oh, no. Oh, do you want to partake in this damage, too?

Anyways, what happens to do you? How much damage does he take again? Does he get it? Doug, did you cast a warding bond? No. The Tusk gores you and pierces your skin, Gunther, doing 21 points of damage. I'm down again.

Oh, no, more trauma. I'm done again. No, no, he's just... Roll it, he's just down. Well, now you get a whole other round of dice rolls. Yeah. Listen, yeah, on the bright side, we already know how the window table works,

so I don't have to re-explain it. Yeah. That's true. Eight, eight, eight, eight. On the bright side, this really fun game mechanic that Micah made is getting used. Yeah, yeah. Thanks, Mike.

Oh, yeah. Good job, Chris. Roll me a D-8, Gunther. Oh, Kate. Does you roll it now or when he revived? Yeah, Because he might die and you don't have to worry about this. We're going to do it right now.

That's the way it should have gone because of the pacing and the cliphanger and everything we didn't get to it in the last one. That's fine. You want to borrow my D8 or? Two. Okay. What did I get? This one is titled, What Doesn't Kill You? You gain one level of weary for the next three sessions.

Wow. Three sessions. Wary. After which, we're weary, not weary. Weary. Weary. Just like query and he has questions. After which, your strength permanently increases by one.

Oh. See, not all trauma. It's all that bad. My trauma made me kind of funny. To be fair, this is just wounds. He's on the wounds table right now. He has to roll an eight on the wounds table to get to the trauma table. Yeah, okay.

Weary gives you disadvantage on strength-related checks and melee attacks. And this is... So he can't use any of his fighter abilities. Real bad fighter. And disadvantage on everything's strength. Oh, he can't use any of his fighter things anyway. Yeah, but if he tries to use his sword, now that's disavit. Is it strength for sword?

He said melee. Mele. It's okay, I have a gun. This is America. Gunther falls limp in your arms, dug. Oh. And the chimera seems somewhat happy about this. Yeah, no kidding.

He tried to shoot it. It looks around at everyone in the room and once again, roars in anger and fury. Everyone, except for Gunther, make me a wisdom saving throw. This reaches down at the end of the hallway? Uh, no, it does not. You're okay, Natty. How about to the roof? Yes, definitely.

Does it raise the roof? Oh, count. Seven for Doug. That's a 10, but I have an inspo that I'm going to use. Wait, no, I don't. That's a 10. So, seven and 10. Once again, gravity seems to shift in the room.

And instead of the floor being down, now the wall to the south is down, in air quotes. Oh. Like now if I went through that door that Ghee went through, I'd go like, clunked into the water. Well, Doug, funny you should ask that. You fall straight through the door. But I'm still holding Gunther too, right? You're still holding Gunther.

So you are no longer in the treasure vault room. You are in the hallway next to Natty. Hello. We'll say on the floor, on the floor. You're not standing. You're like on the floor next to Natty holding Gunther and looking up as Natty is probably somewhat confused looking down at you. I know what it looks like, Natty. I didn't do it.

I swear. Wait, what? You think I think I think you killed Gunther? I don't know. He's dead in my arms. I know it's not a good look, okay? That's not the first thought that came into my mind. In what world? Look, Doug has trauma about things like this, too. Okay. Don't put it on me. Cole, you also slide along the ceiling to your new...

Oh, wait, you have the mittens on. No, it's silk stock. The wider silk stockings, yeah. I'm sticky. How does that work exactly? I will read it. Awesome. Yeah, it's pretty rad. Just awesome.

When you got those, it's like, dang, that's awesome. Hey, all right. Parathometech legs or stockings made of spider silk, extremely sticky, adheres to services, grants ability to climb sheer services. Good luck getting them off. I never saw that. It's pretty sticky.

Okay. So you're still stuck to the ceiling, but gravity is pulling you in a different direction, if that makes sense. So whereas before you were resisting opposite of where, how you were standing, now you're resisting 90 degrees against how you're standing. So it's just like flop.

Yeah, okay. So yeah, instead of down pulling you, one of the sides, left is pulling you, you know? Oh, okay. We're really engaging the core now. Wow. Legs and straps. Plotties joke for the no people who understood that.

I got it. Yeah, you do. Love Pilates. Oh, Tov you, you're the only one left in the room. Yeah. Yeah, I am. Along with the Torius' Bundlap and the gold chasers. If it makes you feel better, I'm probably going to just try to leave soon, so you can just, you know, wrap this whole boss fight up if you want.

How does Toll say that to the chimera? Oh, I'm making myself as small as possible. I don't know. I mean, it's on my turn yet, so I'll wait. Hey, the painting that was flipped on its side, did it move? Yes, it also slid and is now against the southern wall of the room. Is it? Did it flip up?

Yeah. You know what? This D&D, let's roll to find out. Excellent. You all designate one person to make a luck check on your behalf. Who's the luckiest member of our team? Well, I'm dead twice over. So Chris is out.

Chris is out. 13. 13. The painting slides along the ceiling face down until it hits the southern wall with a clatter. It rattles around, you know, how sometimes you like drop a plate or something, like one, one, one, one, kind of rattles around for a little bit. And then flips over so that it is no longer facing the surface. The painting itself is facing in. into the room in the correct orientation.

Cool. Mission to come. Look at you. There's your exit. How far away is that from Toll? It's probably about 30 feet away, let's say. That's also an exit for the chimera, isn't it? No.

I don't think it fits. The chimera begins padding around the room, and as it's doing so, once again, your eyes seem like you're playing tricks on you, and you see five duplicate reflections of the chimera appear alongside it. That's it for the chimera, which means up next we got Toll, then Natty, then Doug.

Okay. Dunlap is still in the room taking on the Torians, yes? Yes, Toriuses. Yes. Toriuses. How many Toriuses are there? Four. Okay.

And when they're all dead, they'll be notorious. Notorious. Take an inspiration, Doc. Yes. Okay. I'm going to start making my way towards that painting. I'm shifting focus away from the chimera, because at this point, that's like a lost cause. But I do want to help Bunlap, but I also recognize, like,

I need to get the heck out of here. So I'm going to be throwing javelins at Toreases that are near him. Oh, interesting. While running towards the painting. Yeah, okay. Why are you going to go to the painting? So I can hop out. Oh, so you're ditching us?

Are we all heading to the same direction? We're all at the end of the hallway. We're in the hallway. Where does this painting go? It goes back to the gold. Right. Dude. Does that room not also connect?

Well, I don't know. So from where you are in the vault, this room has two exits. The southeast, you don't know where that goes. The southwest, which is where Natty, Gunther, and Doug currently are. That leads to the submerged chapel room. Beyond that, you don't know what connects on the other side necessarily, but you do know that the painting takes you to that banquet hall room

where you saw the golden rod and talked with him. I mean, he wouldn't want to abandon Bunlap, but also... Okay, he's going to... Screw us. You guys are out, though. I feel like you guys can get away pretty, and you got crazy giggy. Yeah, he's the one fighting, to be fair.

But, I know, but he was like, I don't want to abandon Bunlap. Have you seen? Have you the abs? You guys left me. So who's leaving who? Like I said, I'm going to provide some sort of air support for Bunlap by throwing some javelins. And then I'm also going to communicate. You-hoo, Bunlap. I'm going to get out of there.

Go away from the Toriuses. They're born in the mother. of May typically and boy are they independent and they don't like to socialize most of the time. Wayne's a tourist, by the way. Oh, that's what that was. John, you don't know an astrology joke? Okay, well, I rolled a seven on my... Well, you rolled a one.

Sorry, sorry, yeah, I rolled a one. Do I, what is, do I get any sort of like... Well, you're raging. I'm raging, so that gives me plus two, does it not? Well, one's a critical fail. We're definitely on attack rolls. Hold on, hold on, hold on. No, no, no, no, no.

A thumb attack attacking. I got my over-collect protocol. The duration of your damage, ha-ha. Your damage outputting greases to 1D20. Yeah, but that's it. That's all that's. But you wouldn't miss because you didn't. Yeah, it doesn't.

You probably hit Bunlap. What side are you on? I was already doing it. I was waiting for Blaine to go through his list of futile attempts to remind him, is a critical fail. So you need to make me a luck check to see whether you hit Bunlap or not. Okay. Just roll a D20. Sorry, playing. What?

What is that? Upside down. 16. Oh. Sorry, I was like, 91! I'm so glad that you process outwardly so we all get to hear what should be going on just inside your brain. Yeah, those are inside thoughts. Yeah. You throw the javelin and as it's flying through the air, I don't know, I don't know, Maybe a draft hits your gravity affects it weirdly.

Instead of flying in a straight line, it begins tumbling. And the dull end smacks the bun lap in the top of the head. Oh, no. He rubs the back of his head, turns around, and looks at you 12 and just yells. Really? Great, I have your attention. Head towards the exit buttlap. We're leaving. And then I throw another javelin, because I haven't learned my lesson.

Okay. And that's gonna be... Please be a one. Please be a one. Please be a one. I would love it. I would love it. That's gonna be a nine plus... I think because I'm raging, don't I get an extra two? That's for damage.

It's a, yeah. Ducks. Not to date. I thought you knew everything about being a barbarian. What is this baby voice? What are you doing here? Nine. Unfortunately, those Tories are notorious for having a little L.A.

Am I right? Get them. Yeah. No, no. The javelet flies wide. Again, maybe you're not compensated for gravity correctly, and it clatters to the side of the room. I can't wait for the comments.

Why is John so mean to Blaine this episode? This episode. John and Blaine are both heavily caffeinated today. Your rage thing, the electric thing, can use that? I think it's only one I make... Oh, they have to be within 10 feet to me. I don't think any of these are. Thank you, Chris.

Okay. Someone's trying to be helpful. Okay. So, you know, you know when you start... You're running and you're pretty confident, but then you kind of bum a couple of things, and then you just... I just slowly putters out to, like, a sad walk as I walk out of the painting.

for the remainder of my movement. Okay, so we'll say you get to the southwest corner of the room, which is where the painting and the exit both are now. You're not able to go through either, but you're at... We'll say it's like the threshold for both the painting and for that door to the south. What if he just, like, Michael Serra, rest of the element collapses into the painting? That's exactly what I was thinking.

When you're talking about being all dejected, that's exactly one of the mental image I had. You could just release the spider things and you'd fall through it. Because. No, it's fine. It's fine. You'll go through next turn. No, no, no.

We'll wait for that to resolve in the next turn. Okay. After the chimera, I can fight you again. Man, I'm the only one in this room with Bunlap who's taking on a bunch of guys. I feel like I'm about to witness a sad thing. Oh, no. I hope not. You're going to roll eight on the trauma.

Yeah, all right. All right, that's my turn. Okay. That means we are up to Natty, then Doug, then the Toriuses. Natty, it is your turn and you see before you this room we previously described with this wall of water

there's a submerged chapel that's pretty, that's really tall I'd say it's probably 70 feet tall there's churning and bubbling of water all in this room with furnishings floating about it the eastern wall is solid gold and there's an aquamarine chalice on a pedestal in the chapel

Gigi seems to be making a bee line for the chalice Okay, okay, yeah I mean Nettie would obviously Obviously, you know, without thinking, dive into the water as well. Actually, she would think for a second, and that would include taking your earrings off, handing them to Captain Grumbles, and then jumping out. I got her makeup. That stuff stays on through water. A waterproof X-Roe.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's good stuff. Yeah. All time. Yes. Not sponsored. But if you want to. Unless.

I mean, I have to buy so much from my daughters. I will take it. Yeah. Natty's gonna swim towards where Gigi's going. Okay, great. And as you just, swimming following Giggy, you notice that besides the entrance you have entered this room, there is another corridor to the south as well that appears to be another exit out of this room.

You said east wall is gold, south is exit, so where are we entering from in this room, just so I can make a mindscape of this? You all are entering from the northeast. You left the other room in the southwest direction, and you're entering this room from the northeast portion of the room. Okay, so pass the chalice a little bit, you know, not past it completely, but there's another door south. Yeah, if you head towards the chalice, yeah, then turn left towards the south, then yes. Okay, can I catch up to Gigi? What is your movement speed or what is Gigi's movement speed?

30 feet. Okay, and is the same for both you and Gigi? Giggy. No, his is 40. Okay, so you're not able to catch up to him. He's putting a little bit of distance between you, but you're maintaining a pretty close chase. He, you know, is swimming ahead of you and does manage to get to the chalice. The chalice itself looks like it's larger than what you would normally expect a chalice to be.

It's made of aquamarine, and it's affixed to the pedestal that's carved with etchings of squid-like creatures. Giggy beats you to the chalice and grabs it and seems to be fixated on it. And while he's doing that, you are able to close the ground and catch up to him as he's there holding the chalice. Does an old knight say, you have chosen, holy. I see what you did. I mean, Natty would at this point, she would probably try to try to. talk to Gigi. She's just trying to reason with her maybe possessed child.

Yeah, how those inky black eyes looking. But you are underwater. Oh, okay. Hmm. Do you have any, like, mind, like, telepathic? No, not with Gigi or anything like that. Just the normal connection that a mother has with her child. Maybe he would still recognize your gurgles.

Natty would try to grab the chalice as well. Giggy's like holding on to it. So you can grab it, but like, Like, he's also holding onto it. Like, are you trying to take it out of his hands? Well, he's holding onto it, but I'm assuming that you said it was affixed on the pedestal, so he probably didn't pull it off the pedestal? Oh, no, no, he grabbed it and pulled it off.

It's like, it was like, I say it's free to let you know that it wasn't floating around with everything else. I appreciate that. And there are egresses, like we said, to the south and to the northeast. I'm just mentioning that, like, those are not underwater spaces. He does not have his leash on. No, yeah, you removed it and told him to go attack the Taurius in the last episode, and he killed one. before they dropped it. Okay.

Your responsible mother. I still have the leash. You have the leash, but it is not on them. I also have Mage Hand. Can I use Mage Hand to put the leash back on Giggy? Distruct him with a treat, quick. You could do it yourself. You are there with Giggy.

Oh, okay. But it looked cooler. Yeah, exactly. Once he stopped and grabbed the chalice, I said you were able to catch up to him. Okay, yeah. Let me leash this little fish. Okay, yeah.

He seems fixated on the chalice and doesn't seem to even notice when you reattach the leash to him. Do we know the significance of this chalice at all? I've got squid-like stuff, so I wonder if it's Seedrinker-related. I think it's Seedringer-related. That's what I pointed at you. Okay, so I've got Gigi on the reel.

I used my movement speed to catch up to him, but I could double movement speed to start pulling him towards the south exit? Sure. You go south or northeast, totally up to you. Yeah, I actually, I want to do that. I don't say northeast again to try to influence you just to remind you what all of the egresses are.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because I want to keep moving, but I don't want to lose a second. I want to cast Moment to think to just want to look around this chapel. You said it was big, like 70 feet high. Is there anything above me that's worth taking in visually? Like a... I'm going to be a bit of a stick in the mud. Moment to think requires verbal components to cast. And since you're underwater, you cannot speak verbally.

Okay. That's fine. Like moment to stink. Got them. Then I will just beseech while I'm swimming. Can I look up while I swim forward? Yeah. And which direction do you want to go to the south, I believe you said?

Yeah, I want to go to the south. I figure Natty's thinking, get away from whatever battle was happening back there. Kymir is back there. Let's try. Gigi was going this direction for some reason. Let's trust in the little bringer of the end times. Make a total sense. You look up and you see various things floating in the water above you.

Furniture and religious relics float around this churning and bubbling water. you see rugs and tomes and various candles floating around above you between you and the ceiling. But as far as the ceiling itself, there does not appear anything necessarily special about it. Okay. I was looking for anything like a mosaic or a mural or anything like that that was depicting anything that just gives information.

Okay. Because you said that, I'm going to read you a bit of information that maybe got passed over a little bit. Oh, please tell. I mean, the gold wall, I remember that. Right. But the solid gold eastern wall does appear to be a relief of some kind.

It depicts a human man wearing a crown, holding up a large fish surrounded by piles of gold. Holding up a large fish like up over his head? I think of like, um... It's like a Tinder profile. Like I was what I'm saying, yeah, like every man on Tinder holding out his fish. Can I swipe left on him? Women like this. Yeah, I was going to say, think of it like a fisherman who's holding out or displaying a trophy, is what I was going to say.

And you said he had a crown on? Yes. King Miser. King Miser. The way Chris's eyes got so big just now. He was commissioned. Chris, take an inspiration die, Chris. Thank you.

I mean, that's, you're, wow. Bravo. He commissioned the paintings from Jeremiah. Okay. Germathy. And I'm assuming the fish could be the golden rod if there's treasure all around him. You know? I was going to say it probably has to do the golden rods.

Like the goose that lays the golden eggs kind of thing. That was impressive. Recall on Chris's part. Okay. I totally forgot about that. Yeah, I'm going to keep heading to the south. Okay. Is it a door?

to the south, you see a corridor. It appears to be a damp ivy tunnel. Okay, so this is where water ends again? Yes, exactly. Right. You've conquered the Water Temple. Yeah. So you exit into that corridor?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, yeah. You exit and you're in that southern corridor. Like I said, it's a damp ivy tunnel. And once you exit, you hear the sound of mellow music coming from the other end of this corridor. Mellow music. Did you give me an instrument?

Or just a little rendition of what that sounds like us. Use your mouth. I wasn't being that mean. They're being that mean. Make me a... I won't even make you make the check. Just because we... You're talking to a musician, Natty Wonder.

We record this over, you know, several episodes. But in game, all this stuff happens pretty quickly. So your character would remember, this music sounds familiar to Natty. You feel like you heard it. very recently when you were dealing with that mermaid and that party. The siren? Is it the siren's music? It sounds very similar to that, yeah.

Okay, okay. Yeah, I want to keep going this direction. So Nadi would just use maximum walking speed. Is Gigi compliant? Yeah, I'll say you probably cannot move any further than this since you already swam through the chapel, picked up Gigi and the swam to the exit. We'll say you're able to get into the corridor,

but not proceed any further. Yeah, Gigi seems just like transfixed on the chalice holding it. Okay. And staring at it. Yeah, that gets my turn. Make me a perception check night. 17 plus 3.20, 30, 20. I had previously described a chalice as being made of aquamarine,

but now that it's closer and it's in Gigi's hands and you look at it, you see that the inside of the cup is golden, and it's marked with ancient celestial glyphs. I think I read Celestial. We've had a run-in with chalice. I'm looking through my notes, but a chalice is ringing a bell. That's not something we saw where we had to do. They were like a reality check on it, did we?

I feel like we encountered a chalice at some point, and I don't know if it was a reality check or if it was something of Sea Drinker-related. This is sounding pretty... Half-ling sailor drowning for a chalice and the sky overflowing with water. I feel like we've seen chalices in, like, artwork and stuff. Or like tapestries.

Yeah. Or perhaps the, like, tarot card. Yeah, when did we meet up with Fismum? That was so early on. Okay, I think it was like paintings, and that one of them had a half-ling sailor drowning, drowning for a chalice in the sky overflowing with water. Toll, you do know that the sea drinker symbol is a chalice overflowing with water.

Oh. That's right. Oh, my God. Literally, I was purging my notes. It's the third line right here. Symbol chalice overflowing with water. Idiot. Sea drinker.

I think I can speak celestial. So you speak celestial? I believe I do as well. No, I do. Right there. Celestial, common, and elfish. What does it sound like? Oh, Flind.

I sent you what it says in Celestial, if you want to read that, John. Make sure we layer some of the singing to make it roll sound. It's not far from what I just... I'll do, I'll do it, right? Oh, say, po'u-a-tumu, elea se foe, momo, hey, I-in-u-ai. Now break it down. And that means what, Gus? Take a look.

And it means welcome Christmas. About moo-mooh. Okay, in common, why is it written like King James style? Okay. An or runeth cup may be vain to drink, yet when bone parched in gold let it sink. And to just tell you, the o-apostrophe-e-er. O-a-er, like over.

An overrunneth cup may be vain to drink. Yet when bone parched in gold let it sink. Well, I know what I'm doing with Gambot. When bone parched comma in gold let it sink. Ah. It's because it's written like a verse out of the Bible. So I wonder if we have to put something like gold inside of it. When bone parched.

Okay, well, I'm on my way to you. So I got gold Gambot. Yeah. Well, I don't know if it's saying that. And when Gigi pulls it out of the water room, is the child's full, or is it empty and it's just a gold inside? Obviously, in the room, it was filled with water because the entire room was filled with water.

You know, you pull it out and you're in the hallway now, and there's still some residual water in it, but it's not like it's full of the brim or anything. Yeah, but it's not empty. Okay. Well, I don't know what this does, but I'm sure it's important, so let's just hold on to it. Chug, chug, chug.

I'm not chugging. You're not there. Oh. When West Jet first took flight in 1996, the vibes were a bit different. People thought denim on denim was peak fashion, inline skates were everywhere, and two out of three women rocked, the Rachel. While those things stayed in the 90s, one thing that hasn't is that fuzzy feeling you get when WestJettings you on board.

Here's to WestJetting since 96. Travel back in time with us and actually travel with us at westjet.com slash 30 years. Hey y'all, it's Kelly Clarkson with Wayfair. Ever order furniture online and wonder what if? Like, what if it doesn't hold up? That sofa was four days old. You should have ordered from Wayfair. With Wayfair, there's no what if.

Just style you love and quality you can trust. Visit Wayfair.ca. Wayfair, every style, every home. What happens when two people who grew up in a very strange corner of Los Angeles look back and realize just how bizarre their upbringings really were? They start a podcast, of course. I'm Ashley Johnson. And I'm Talison Jaffe.

Before we became the internet people we are today, we spent our childhoods as working actors, appearing in shows like growing pains and films like Mr. Mom. In our podcast, Weird Kids, we're diving deep into our unique upbringings, our friendship with each other, and all the delightfully odd interests we still carry with us today. In each episode, we get to share stories of our youth,

the things that bring us joy, the problems that we face, and occasionally the friends we've collected along the way. If you're a misfit, an outcast, or just a weirdo who loves all things nostalgic and unconventional, come take a seat at our table. Each week, we'll be releasing previously members-only episodes on YouTube and all major podcast platforms, with new episodes dropping exclusively and ad-free on beacon.tv. Natty, I believe that is it for you, which means up next is Doug the Centauriuses and Gold Chasers. Doug. Quick, resurrect Gunther.

Let's see how many times we can roll this thing. Make a miracle. You didn't have any effects when you went into the water, right? Nothing changed on you or like... No, there's no HP recovery or anything like that. Like healing waters? Yeah. She just chucks the lifeless body.

From Doug's perspective, you cannot ascertain whether or not anything happened, Nadi. At least you can say Nadi came out on the other side and does not seem to have any ill effects from her journey through the water. Okay. Well, I'm going to, I think, continue to go the way I saw Nattie go with Gunther. they're in hand, of course. You might want to do something to stabilize the dead person before you submerge them in water. I'll do cast cure wounds again, but I'll do it at the second level this time.

Although, does it really matter? Because, like, it's not like, it's just to stabilize, right? I'll do it at the second level. Okay. Casting cure wounds. Nine. That's good. I rolled a four and a one on my two D8.

I'm so stupid. I think you gave him pain last time. I did. I guess I can't do an inspiration die on a spell. Nope. How the dice work. That's how them dice fall. Before you jump into the water, you cast cure wounds on Gunther.

So then do you carry Gunther into the water or do you let him go here? Like what is your order of operations here, Doug? I would take him with me, I think. I'm not letting this guy out of my sight. Not for one second. Thatther loves the water. Yeah. Maybe, you know.

You did promise Budlap. You'd take care of him. Exactly. But I would try to, like, shield him in my body as we go into the water just to, like, really protect him in there. Sure. And once you enter the water, what is your goal, Doug? You know, how great it is to go swimming in a giant fur blanket.

Oh, my God. You ever tried going swimming in jeans? Not fun. That's good times. I think I would just try to see where Natty was going and try to follow her because I just want to stick close. Yeah, you do see that exit to the south, and you do see that for Natty. went. So you make your way there.

We'll say you're able to reach that exit as well and you're on like the same footing as Natty. Okay. What do I see when I get there? You find yourself in that corridor, which is a damp ivy tunnel and you hear mellow music coming from the other end of the corridor. Do I recognize this music? You also recognize the music as well

as being the music from the siren. Furthermore, you do remember there was an exit to the north from the area with the siren that you all never ended up exploring. You all went to the east and that's where you found the rickety bridge. And Natty has the chalice? Natty has Giggy who has the chalice. Giggy. Okay. I imagine Natty, have you shared this celestial phrase with me that you were?

I mean, I wouldn't have had a chance yet. Okay. But I mean, once we settle, I will share it. Yeah. Okay. Because order of operations, you're coming in after I have read this and I haven't had a turn yet. Could I ask Natty what's going on? Sure, yeah, free action, right? Sure, I'll allow it.

Is talking a free action? Nah, Natty, sorry, I think I swallowed some water. What's going on? What is that chalice? I'm not quite sure. I think it's got connections to the sea drinker and it's got a little riddle on it. And Gigi is obsessed. Okay. What's the riddle say?

Something about, hold on, let me open up my phone. Doug could also read or understand Celestial. He speaks Celestial, so I don't know if he would just. It's about a runneth cup, maybe vain to drink, but when your bone parched in gold let it sink. Yeah, so I don't know what that means. Have you tried drinking from it? No, I don't think that's a good idea.

Why not? The first part of the riddle says, an O'er-runneth cup may be vain to drink. Oh, that's fair. Well, why don't he put Gambot in it? See what happens. He's kind of, you know, stuck this way, so I think anything's going to help him right now.

Sure. Does he fit? Yeah. It was a big chalice. That's me asking cuss. Like a bowl. Yeah, can I put Gambot in the chalice? Yeah.

The normal, in a normal chalice, Gambot would not fit, but this is oversized. So you think Gambot, yeah, could fit in there. Yeah. All right. I'll put him in. Just half of him. Yeah.

His legs. are sticking out at the top. So you put him like head down in? Yeah. She's dunking him like a chip in dip. I was thinking more like Gambots, the Oreo, and the chalice has milk in it. Oh, yeah.

That's why I'm testing it with Gambot before I dunk Gunter in there. You guys are always doing stuff I'm not expecting. You're all a creative bunch. Well, that's what happens when you guys give us riddley riddles. Well, I wonder if it's connected because we've Gambot encountered that liquid gold that made him. I wonder if that water flow or whatever was connected to, the chalice. Like, that's what's making the gold.

Yeah, but also there's a room full of gold. There's like a treasury related to golden rut. So there might be some connection there. Doug, you take Gambot and kick him into the chalice head first. And as you do so, reality seems to warp around both you and Natty. It seems like what's in front of you changes. You're physically somewhere else. You arrive in a steamy room of stifling heat.

Flickering firelight cascades across wafts of invasks of invas. obscuring your already watery vision. Your feet splash on a flooded black stone floor. Sudden screams of pain frighten you from some corner of the room. Amid the suffocating steam, you catch fleeting glimpses of blackstone architecture. Jagged columns, horned archways, and an ominous altar that claws out your soul. Atop the altar are glass globes burning with undying dark flames. Etched onto the altar's side is smoldering text written in infernal.

Do I hear you speak infernal? Doug, do you speak infernal? I do. Well, no, wait, never mind. Primordial, not infernal. Uh, I do. You're not there. You're not there. Well, yeah. No, no. I'm not. I was being carried. But even though I was carrying him? Just, just dug in Natty. Okay. Well, it almost seems like this was on purpose.

Well, I would say that your, you had to let him go to grab Gambot and put Gambot into the chalice. So there's infernal on this altar. You see infernal written on the altar, which you don't understand, but in your mind, you hear a voice whispering, She shall rise and raise their golden gates to the ground. She shall slay him where he stands for all of his deafect depravity. She shall rule in every echelon for eternity. All hail the Udarian overlord!

The blade of Mother Flames pierces the flickering firelight and darkens the room unnaturally. Leathery wings fan the steam aside. Moulton lava drips from the mouth of inferred. of Infernes. You will regret setting foot in my sanctum. The tingle down your spine halts for a moment. She's looking at someone else. Your eyes follow Infernes's gaze to see the sea drinker, her frail, watery figure even more

feeble than when you first found her. I only wish to free the fire. I know what you sought. Your efforts were in vain, Leora. The squid-like god shudders. Your beloved was my captive in Midrace, not in under. The sea drinker cries with tears that immediately turn to steam. But fret not.

I can grant your wish with but a wave of my hand. Infernes raises four clawed fingers. No, I beg of you, leave her alone. A hand grabs at your watery shoulders from behind. You both turn to see a half knoll with perky cheekbones, a strong jaw line, and acute dog nose. Laskill. Ah, what? How's it Undar did you get here?

And why are you so? So wet. It's a long story. That's a good question. There's a podcast that has been documenting it if you want to listen to it real quick. There's no time. I'm getting out of here and so should you. We need reinforcements.

There's no time for here. The blade of Netherflame severs last steel's shoulder. Black blood eerily pours from the open wound. Oh, leaving so soon, but the party was just starting to heat up. What? Brash, a tungsten statue of a dragon smashes into the black column. No, Blaga, my love.

Can you hear me? Silence! Infernes kicks Laskill to the ground and points her blade of nether flames at you. Tell your friends. They're masked. She brings down the blade, cleaning your face in two,

with a splash. You come to the chalice still in your hand, but it is now split in two. Where's Gambot? Gambat is on the ground. Is he still in one piece? Is he still gold? What's he look like?

Still in one piece, still golden on the ground. Gambat! Gambat! Are you okay? No response. Oh gosh. I really thought that was going to work. So does Gigi have the two pieces of chalices in his hands?

The chalice itself isn't two pieces on the ground. Gigi is still in your hands. Oh, okay. Not holding the chalice, but looking down, kind of like reaching out with arms towards the two halves of the chalice on the ground. Gus, what did I see? That's a good question. Yeah, from your perspective,

Doug, you know, put you down to grab Gambot, and they blinked out of existence for a second. You blinked your eyes, and then they were back in front of you with the chalice on the ground, split in two. Okay, so they were actually transported. Yeah, actually transported.

It wasn't like a vision. That's what I, yeah, that's kind of what I want to... It might have actually... Does it smell like sulfur when they come back? is it kind of like a farty-tootty smell? That's just me, sorry. Yeah, he just saw in furnace.

I got nervous. So speaking of Giggy, since you asked about Giggy here, you know, and how he was reacting to the chalice, there is another new mechanic that we've kind of introduced here with Giggy. Since Giggy suffered catastrophic wounds to his mortal body, his resurrection has come at a cost. Okay. And he is now set on a hastened path.

to become the harbinger of the great end, immortal keeper of souls, and blood harvester of darkness. What did he roll? That's been his title from the start. Thank you very much. A lot of eights. Our sixes.

Yeah, three sixes. Since he met his untimely demise before realizing his destiny, Gigi now requires souls to live. Oh, cool. Very cool. I feel like I know someone else who requires souls to live.

Yeah. Every session, Gigi must consume at least one soul of a nearby dead creature, freshly dead, or he will gain a scar and lose one hit die of max HP. However, for every additional soul he consumes the top of his one required soul, Giggy will gain an additional benefit. Oh, so he charges batteries. His little evil batteries.

It's funny, because I feel like some people play D&D in a way where, like, they actually have to have food and water for their characters to, like, survive or, like, each episode, now we have to feed this guy souls every single session. He's like a FromSoft game. Yeah, at least one, but more is beneficial. Thank you for not feeding me to giggy. Yeah. Just so you're aware that that is also in play now too.

Okay. Can we cheat it to where we like make Captain Grumbles die, feed him and then we bring Captain Grumbles back and it's just like a perpetual food meal? What happens if we feed him after midnight? It's a good question. We'll find that out when we get there. Doug, I believe that that is it for your turn. I guess so.

You're welcome, everyone. I'm going to peel back the curtain a little bit here on some DM stuff. No, should I... You should go ahead, Gus. Yeah, do it. Go on. Gus, Gus, Gus, Gus, Gus. No, I'm not going to.

I'm not going to. You'll find out in second one what I was talking about. I'll mention that as well. It's the Toreas' turn. Tolls, you're the one who sees it. The Toreuses seem to be... Their rage seems to be kept in check by Bundlap.

And he's holding his own. He's an amazing fighter. You know, you would think four-on-one would be an unfair fight, but maybe it is an unfair fight for the Toreuses. The gold chasers act, they're all pointing at the painting, which is now facing the correct orientation. They seem to be huddled up, trying to figure out what their next steps are,

which takes us back to the top, which is Gunther, then Bunlap and the chimera. Gunther. They just... Okay, you guys just blipped out of existence. I'm going to assume they explained what happened, so we don't have to rehash that. Are we trying to escape now?

Is that our goal? You got your shield. All right, what a great setup for the thing I was going to mention a little while ago. Yes, I believe your goal at this point, would be to escape. And in fact, there is a chase mechanic that Micah has come up with

to track your progress getting out of the key. So I have two die in front of me, a D6 for the pursuers and a D6 for the escapees. You all are trying to escape while being pursued by the enemies here. Your die starts at one and it's gonna tick up and when you get six, you succeed. Anytime you succeed on a skill check or a roll, your die ticks up.

The pursuers are set on six, and they're going to count down. Anytime you fail, theirs goes down. And if they reach one, they catch you. So you all are being chased by the Toreuses and the gold chasers, as well as the chimera, actually. There is a lot going on here. So Gunther, you're going to kick off the escape here.

What do you want to do? So you just try to come up with a skill check or an action. Like we're going to keep things bright. It's kind of like, I feel like we've run similar mechanics in the past. Yeah. This is just like a refined version of, this mechanic. Better than doing stupid riddles with a teradactyl.

Yeah. Ah, you didn't say... Do we know where to... The exodus from here? We've never been in this chapel. So, great question. You are to the south in that corridor. You hear the music coming from the south, which you remember was where the siren was.

Oh. Which is a room you have been to before. So you could work your way backwards from there and get... Okay. Work your way out of the key. We have to retreat! I don't know why I do it. It sounded like Arnold's words.

Retreats. Quick, everyone cover your ears with my blood. Yuck. Okay. Yeah, I try and cover my ears and back trace our steps. Oh, you're covering your ears because the siren's effect. Got it, got it. Yeah, what kind of skill would you want to use?

Or like, we need to make some kind of check here to count down or up the die. If he runs down this corridor towards the room where the siren is, what's he looking at? That room or that area where, where that area, with the siren was a stone, yeah, it's a stone colonnade, the sound of mellow music, and there was a large painting chain to a tree that depicts a mermaid. Previously, you saw blankets of gold, silver trays of food,

and handsome folk enjoy merriment and music in the air. But then when you, when Natty used Moe to Hell and silenced the siren, you realized that that was all piles of garbage and corpses. Now that the music is flowing again, it's still, it once again appears to be blankets of gold, trays of food, and people enjoying merriment. Even with ears close?

Yeah, you still see it. And in fact, I'll tell you what, some of these illusions of people are trying to dance with you and they're blocking your way and they're trying to keep you from making your way through the area. I like how you said, I'll tell you what, as if you were doing us a favor.

Yeah, yeah. I'll tell you what. Here's another obstacle. Do what? You're being chased. I'm setting up something for Gunther to make a roll again. Ah. Yeah.

Take out your gun. It's not my solution. All right, well, then how about I try. and do a dance past them, but like in a way that's like, I want to jump past them. You're like dancing through the room trying to like slide by everyone?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, make a, what would you call that? Like a performance check? Performance, yeah. Okay. Eight. Okay. Rough day for Chris.

Brink of death. You try to, you know, slide your way stealthily through the room, but every turn you make, it seems like you're bumping into someone. You just can't seem to find your way through and make it cleanly. through the room.

Gunther's the same rhythm that I have. Is there anything else I can do? No. So I tick down the pursuer die from six to five. I'm sorry. I am so bad at dancing. I thought you did great, Gunther. Tov, at this point, I would encourage you to,

you can do whatever you want. I would encourage you to reconvene with your team or go through the painting. That's up to you. Those are it seemed like the two best options for you in this moment. You can do whatever you want. You can leave your friends. If your friends don't dance me.

No friends I'm mine. This was my turn to do we just kind of skip over Bunlap and Carrie? Yeah, yeah. Tov and then Natty, then Doug. How far away is the water temple door exit that I saw my team go through? You're at the threshold to both the painting and that door. They're like to your left and to your right in front of you. You can go in either direction.

How far is Bunlap? Bunlap would be pretty close. I'd say Bunlap's probably 25 feet away. Okay. I'm going to throw two more javelin. Yes! Yes! To cut, to give him an out. So I'm going to throw those at the Toreuses.

Okay. Yeah. 13. So since we are also doing the chase mechanic, this will affect the chase too. Great. Good stuff. Well, 13. 13's pretty good.

13? I can let, if you want a second guess anything, I'll let you before I tell you whether that's successful or not, just because I didn't say it. I think you should not do it. Okay. I'm going to, I'm going to chase up to the team. I'm going to, I'm going to head towards the water temple. I'm not, I don't want to negatively impact the. thing.

You reach the water and you have to swim through. We'll call this your ability check here. Make an athletics check to swim through the water and see how... I feel like you should have

advantage on this because he came from the water. Yeah, it was born by... Bounder. I breathe under water. Right, Gus, right? He probably has pretty good bonus on his athletics check,

so we'll see. 12. The water seems to be churning even more and slowly starting to spiral in Whirlpool, Whirlpool, perhaps because the chalice itself is missing. I preferred warples.

Warple, Whirple. Oh, no, two whirples. I'm not a warple. You're a warple. But yeah, with a 12, you manage to set your angles correctly to compensate for the churning and the current, and you're able to find a very quick line through the room and emerge on the other side,

seeing your friends close by in the corridor. So that makes your escapee die tick up. Yay! You did it. So right now it's them, five, us two. Correct. And we'll say at this point you're bunched up and you're caught up with everyone. And Gunther is like just half a step in front of you guys dealing with that room. He's in the middle of doing like the cha-cha slide right now.

Yeah. Half a misstep. Would it hinder us if knowing that Gunther is having a hard time getting through the dancing people, if I like tacked them or tried to assist him or am I just kind of either way turn? Because of the movement and the checkup, I'll tell you what? If you want, you could make, let's say you could make an attack of some kind to perhaps clear the way for the next person who's going to try to go through. Okay, I will do that. That way can also keep my rage coming. This may also affect your, the chase mechanic. Just do it.

I don't know. Sure. Okay. I'm going to do it anyways. Come in. What are you attacking? One of the dancing folks that's like catching up Gunther. Hey, tell if you should attack that painted lady that's causing the spell in this room. I attack the painting with the gavel of ghost. Can you do that? Okay. Yeah.

Net 20. Really? Yeah. Yes. For 26. But also, I'm doing the Thametech overclock thing. So that gives me a D20 of attack damage. Yeah.

Sorry, damage. So would that max out plus the critical? How does that work? How do we want to work at? Yeah, we will. So roll your D20, then we're going to add 20 and your bonuses. Oh, Chi-Chi-Chi. That's a 14.

So plus 20, that's 34, plus your strength, which is 3, so that's the 37, plus 2 because you're raging, that's 39. Yeah. You bring the gavel of gale strip down, and just with like an overwhelming force, you smash and splinter the painting. And you hear a scream as the painting flies apart into hundreds of pieces, and the music stops and the illusions all disappear. That's it for Toll, Natty, you're up, then Doug. Oh my God. This was a Picasso original. Did I make progress?

Is that so progress? Yeah, no, that's great. Yeah. Does that mean we're at three? I'm going to take you up to three. Yay. Blaine, I let you take two actions there because Toll was a little behind just to catch everyone up. But yeah, from now on, everyone would be like one action per turn.

Natty, you're up. So in this room, you said there was a, there was an egress that we had not explored previously. That's where you came from. Oh, okay. So we came out of that. Yeah, you came from the north. So then what is available is the entrance that we came in originally, which would theoretically take us backwards through the keep to the...

Yeah, so the remaining exits are to the east where you know the rickety bridge was. That's where you all went. And then to the southeast, there's that forest slope that goes down the ridge. That sent us the demon children. And then down there's where you saw granny fungus. Yeah, and the grandkids. Well, let's go bridge. Let's go backwards.

Keep going backwards what we know. Just to clarify, bridge was more lateral. Southeast down the ridge was more backwards. Yeah, Natty would go southeast. To the southeast. Okay, yeah. You make your way to the southeast, and you find yourself at a forested lake

with the scent of cedar and distant singing. There's a pristine lake of freshwater fish, fog that lingers the top of tall evergreen trees on either side of the lake, and a rocky, rushing river mouth that feeds into this lake. from this area the egresses are to the southeast there's stairs

the northwest ridge which you just came down and the northeast ridge which you have been to as well that's the other side of the bridge imagine we want to keep going south yeah I want to go to southeast stairs but I know you can want me to do something

to do a check as you enter this area and begin making your way to the southeast you begin getting pelted with pine cones from the top of the trees those reddy fungus is popular children yeah I'm gonna I'm gonna shoot them with an Eldridge Blast.

Do they still have, they don't still have your skin. No, he got it back. No. They had put it back for him and they had, what do I say? They swapped the feet in the hands. Yeah. You can make an attack or you can try to make a dexterity save or a dexterity check to dodge the pine cones. Either way, totally up to you, just giving you options.

Yeah, I want to shoot them. Let's go. You throw stuff at Natty. She's going to turn around and send an Eldridge Blassie. you're away. That's what's going to happen. Okay. Oh, and then you can feed Gigi. You know, two birds on stone. Yeah. Sol. Yes, multiple. Good thinking, Tov. I'm going to keep forgetting. We've got to feed him. Eldred's blast is a plus seven to a 19, 26. Yay. That hits. Do you want me to roll for damage or just to take that as a tick up? That is a tick up, but I do want you to roll some

damage. 10 plus four, six, plus four is 10 plus Natty's. agonizing blast plus four to damage if it deals on a hit and uh genie's wrath which is another three damage so 17 damage in total yeah you and if they're not dead i will shoot them again because i have two elders blast yeah you see uh three small fungus-like creatures fall out of the tops of the trees around you and dying they fall unmoving around you uh three of them However, that being said, the pine cones they were throwing at you released spores all around you.

So you take seven points of poison damage. Oh, come on. And you have to sing instead of talk. Okay, I can do that. I've already done that this episode. As Natty. As Natty. Right, right.

Yeah, yeah. Okay, so then for Gigi's turn, dinner is served. All right. How many does Gigi want to eat? Bon. He has three. There's three of them. How many can Gigi eat?

Can you eat all three? What does it look like when he eats this? Is it like a, like a sucking him in? It's like Shao Khan. Your soul is mine. Your soul is mine. He opens up his mouth and attaches it to the body and just like starts inhaling. Like sucking the juice out of an orange and just like leaves a shrivel, desiccated body behind.

Natty, if you turned and look at Natty while that's happening, you see a look of pride. Okay. So one was necessary to maintain himself. What about the other two? Yeah, he eats those two. He's a hungry boy. It's growing. Okay.

In that case, Nadie... I don't like the way everyone is smirking right now. No, no, it's just... I'm not smirking. No, not you guys. The DMs. All the DMs are like, alright. You get to roll 2D10 on the sole surplus table,

and we get to find out what benefits Gigi gets. I feel like we're hastening the end of the world. Yeah, let's get on with this. You're the only one that wants this. No one else wants this. And guess whose turn it is? I kind of want it. That's three on my first roll of the souls.

Oh, Gigi now gains an additional five feet of movement. Okay. Great. And then our seven unsold. Giggy gains a weapon. Cool. He's got a gun. He's faster and has a weapon.

He wrestles the gun out of Gunther's hands. No, no. It's my one thing. He just wields Gunther. Oh, goodness. If you see a weapon you like, we'll play with that, unless you have one in mind already, Natty. This will come in effect. so I'll explain what weapon he found in our escape.

Yeah, Mike and I will offline it. Next session, we'll reveal what that is. Okay, great. That's it for Natty, I assume. Natty will turn to her compatriots and shoot a... I'll just blast towards, not them, the door. The door, we should be like, head that way. Okay.

Doug, you're up. You just witnessed something horrific. I think Doug would just be standing there, mouth agape, just kind of in shock as to what he just saw. He's all full. He ain't going to eat you. They were younglings. They stole your skin.

They were younglings. I think I want to keep southeast. Okay, so the southeast stairs, that's descending stone steps that were, feels humid. Yes. You go down those steps and you find yourself in a laboratory or workshop of some kind. It's pretty humid. There's a cistern in the room, which you remember, there was an area you hid down there and met up with Bunlap. A shelf of objects, a shelf of glass cylinders containing specimens.

The exits out of this room are that northwest archway which you came through, which you also remember is trapped, and I will make sure you skirt your way around that. And a door to the south that appears to be dark and drafty. We want to keep going south. But before we do that, could I try to knock over a shelf of all these glass jars in the way we came so that if people come through following us, they would maybe slip and trip and stuff like that? Okay, yeah. You begin knocking down the shelves and, you know, breaking all the glass behind you, trying to cover your tracks. You're pretty successful at it, and when you turn around from the south, you see a creature making its way up towards you from that area. It's got a wolvering body and a mane of pine green hair and a long tongue.

Have we seen this one before? You all encountered a similar creature earlier in the keep a few episodes ago. I don't know if we ever said the name. It's called a gildalax. Gildalix. Sorry, Gildalix. We have. That sounds familiar.

When did we encounter it? Like early on, like the first or second episode you were here in the key. It makes puffing sounds. I'm about to do this sound. Maybe you'll remember. It comes into the room

and starts making noise. I remember that. Yeah, and the creature comes up to you, Doug, and begins sniffing at your pack. It begins clawing at it. Like pawing at it. You know how, like, a dog or if they're interested in something, they'll start pawing at it.

Do they want gold? Could I try giving it a gold piece? Yeah, you pull out the gold piece and its eyes are fixated on it. Make me an animal handling check. Okay, I will want to throw it. I'm going to do an inspiration die on that if I can. That was a 10. Okay, all right.

Oh, sweet. 20. Okay. This is your check for this room, so your dye counts up. You are now at 5. Yay! The creature is fixated, staring at the gold piece. Okay, I will toss it as far away from us in the opposite direction we're heading in as possible.

You throw the gold piece in the opposite direction, the Gildilix follows it, and you continue forging ahead south. And as you do so, your guiding Providence sensor begins chirping like birdsong. What does that mean? Low battery. What does my invention mean? No, this is something that I got from the veiled eye. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I would know what that meant if I invented. What does it mean? You pull out the GPS and in a robotic voice it says, Head southeast to the last voice. Roger that, on the case. We were already going that way. Well butter my biscuit, that's my hometown, y'all. Y'all better put it on your Sunday best

because you're fixing a meat my mamas. Find out what it all means on the next episode of Tales from the Snakey Dragon. Oh! He's coming. That's how be okay. No, he was in a fight with like a bunch of dudes in a camera robot.

Yeah, but it's Bunlap. He's somehow going to come out more heroic than before. Guys, Gigi's got a gun! Action search. Khyborg Quest is out now. It's a five-part mini-campaign featuring Mud, Bart, and Gumg, on a dangerous sci-fi rescue mission to find the coolest infanite, Kiborg.

This tavern tale is available to all paid members of the Stinky Dragon Patreon. But even if you're not a patron, you can still be part of the adventure by grabbing the brand new Khyborg Quest merch. Get a tubular t-shirt, eye-pop and poster, or killer commemorative glass. Can Khyborg even say commemorative? We'll find out. Grab it all now at store. Dot stinky dragonpod.com

and listen to Khyborg Quest over on our Patreon. New episodes of Tales from Stinky Dragon premiere, every other Wednesday, wherever your streams of podcast flow, and on the Stinky Dragon YouTube channel. Tired to waiting for the next adventure and looking for a quest. Join the ranks of the Stinky Dragon patrons

at Stinky Dragonpod.com, get early access to episodes and unlock a horde of exclusive treasures and powerful artifacts. For example, every one of our patrons gets access to Tavern Tales. Their special D&D, one-shots, many campaigns, and other sorts of role-playing grand adventures spun within the hearth of the tavern. You can also receive a coveted shout-out on the show, just like Casey J, Bailey Whittinglow, Devin Hauer, and Hi Hello, Hannah.

I think I might know that one. These featured patrons directly support the show and get access to all these perks and more on our Patreon. Stop missing out on the adventure. Become a patron today at stinky dragonpod.com. Some NPCs were named after patrons on our Stinky Dragon Discord and some of our friends, provided voices in this tale including Bunlap, voiced by Devin Finn at Devon underscore Carruthers. Infernes, voiced by Laurel Rothamol,

the sea drinker, voiced by Kaylee Herzberg. Lousy Laskeel, named after Alex B.007, voiced by Chad James, at Chad James RT, from Death Battle. This week's error question was submitted by I.O. This episode of Test for the Sting Jargers, produced by Ben Ernst and Micah Risenger, written composed by Michael Reisinger, and edited by Elena Lecorchick.

Join us in the tavern next time for another aromatic adventure of Tales from the Stinky Dragon. And it seems like Gigi is making a beeline for the chapel. He wants to confess his sins. Yeah. When you say he's making a beeline for the chapel, I was envisioning the room as a chapel, but is the chapel like a separate part of this room? It's in the room. The chapel is inside of a room.

Yes. So strange. I thought the same thing. Mike is making a confused look on his face. Like a chapel, like the thing at the front of a... I know, but that's a room. So I'm trying to figure out what is a chapel inside of a room. What are those called?

You're married under him. They'll alter. Alter. I think I may have been confusing some words, and I think that's why Mike is confused. The room is a chapel. He's going towards the chalice. I think I was saying he's going towards the chalice. Okay, okay.

My brain just has those two words in it, and I think I was saying one, what I thought I was saying the other, and I didn't understand why you weren't understanding. One person's gun is another person's blunderbuss, whatever it is called. You didn't even say the right word. Histol.

So I'm going to do a quick pickup just to make sure that it's all clear. Yeah, go for it. Because we'll want a clean cut of this so that we can edit this out. And we don't show that you made this big mistake. No, not at all. I'd never make mistakes. Hey, y'all. It's Kelly Clarkson with Wayfair. Ever order furniture online and wonder what if? Like, what if it doesn't hold up?

That sofa was four days old. You should have ordered from Wayfair. With Wayfair, there's no what if. Just style you love and quality. you can trust. Visit wayfair.ca.