Tales from the Stinky Dragon - Deja Ürbloom - Ep. 14: Strike While the Eironhoff is Hot

Episode Date: August 17, 2021

The Interns are gathering what they need to build the recapitulator, leading them to all of the districts of Ürbloom to find what they need. First up, a bit of a stormy situation involving a blacksmith, a shwingblade, and a horde of halflings! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Your teen requested a ride, but this time, not from you. It's through their Uber Teen account. It's an Uber account that allows your teen to request a ride under your supervision with live trip tracking and highly rated drivers. Add your teen to your Uber account today. This is a Rooster Teeth production. Guten Morgen, Manticores and Minotaurs. Get your tail into the Stinky Dragon and sip our newest cocktail, the Pina Collider. It's a monstrous mixture of recycled rum,

coconut shells, and prickly pineapple peel. It's a massive mishmash with a bite you won't want to miss. Last time, our adventurers were saved by the sonorous satyr, Wilhelm. They learned more about Sleek and were sent to save Wilhelm's partner, Howie. After devouring some dough and purchasing a capricious pet, they finally managed to rescue Howie, the absent-minded inventor of the recapitulator.

Not a moment to lose. Let's tell this timely tale. Hello, everyone. Welcome to Tales from the Stinky Dragon. Lots of alliteration. How much alliteration? So much alliteration. I love alliteration. I spit a lot on my mic. You know how the smell of a spitty mic and it's just kind of sour? Is that what it smells like right now?

Give it a sniff. It's bad. Anytime I get close to my mic, I smell it. I do too. Sometimes I itch my nose on my mic. Yeah, I think a lot of people who don't record a lot of audio may not understand that, but it stinks. It stinks so bad. Mine smells great. I don't know what you guys are talking about.

You have minty fresh breath, I guess. Mine smells like a retainer, you know? Wow, the sights and the smells of Stinky Dragon for the audience. Stinky Dragon 4D. I'm going to give my microphone a big sniff so the viewers can hear it. Can we not?

Oh, yeah. That's the spot. Yeah, smells. Oh, John doesn't smell. Oh, right. No sense of smell. You're lucky for now. All right.

So the sun begins to dip into the cloudy horizon, casting amber and ruby light rays across the city and its blossoms. Wilhelm hands the schematic over to Howie, who studies the paper for a moment that says, Oh, right. The recapitulator. That's the whole reason I came here. Howie turns to you all and holds out the schematic over to Howie, who studies the paper for a moment that says, Oh, right, the recapitulator. That's the whole reason I came here. Howie turns to you all and holds out the schematic.

Would you like to take a look? This may sound preposterous, but I believe this device could potentially suit a subject back in time. Yeah, let me take a look at that. And then I hold it upside down, the plans. And I just stare and I go, hmm. A little bit of drool rolls out of the side of Kyborg's mouth.

Who's the techiest one of us? I just mean literally in character. Who's our gadget fiend? I have a robot for an arm. I think either Kyborg or Bart would probably be the most. I was going to say, I'm inclined to Bart liking little contraptions. Yeah. But I mean.

Is that a short joke? Little contraptions. I'm small but mighty. He flexes. Yeah. Is that a short joke? Little. I'm small and mighty. He flexes. Yeah, I think normally you rely on Dr. to do your tech for you. Mud looks at the schematic completely confused. Let me check it out.

Could I jump on Mud's shoulders to see the paper? Well, I think Kyborg's holding it. Oh, well, I want to see it. So I jump on Mudge's shoulders to see the paper? Well, I think Kyborg's holding it. Oh, well, I want to see it, so I jump on your shoulder still. Oh, okay, just to get a view. Yeah, exactly. Just to see it. Howie chimes in as y'all are examining the schematics and says, It's really quite simple. The Rigapitulator is similar to an hourglass.

It made up of four key components. Metal, wood, glass, and most important ingredient, love. Howie's jaw drops and his eyes widen. Deja violets. Howie takes off at a gallop to a flower bed

at the western edge of the district courtyard. He found the flower he needed. How many deja violets do we need? Oh, who are you asking? Well, I guess he just left. Yeah, he took off. He galloped off

to go look at the flowers. Should we follow? Yeah, that guy kind of sucks at memory, so maybe we should go help him. Oh, yeah, okay. That's a good call. Okay, we follow Howie. I run 88 miles per hour. And I'm still on my shoulders.

So no running for Bart. Why 88 miles per hour? Back to the future, bro. We're doing ton travel. Howie comes to a halt just shy of the flower bed. He points to a nearby patch of violet flowers. The purple petals seem to intertwine with each other, forming

figure eights around a stem. It sounds like the bell from the Twilight Tower begins to chime. Sleek steps out onto the balcony of the Glockentower once again, bows and says, Thank you. Thank you. You are too kind and now for the next movement in my symphony he begins to play his lute again and a repetitive melody fills

the air can i cover my ears an emerald wall emerges from the ground at the eastern edge of Grubdorf. Like a wave, it slowly starts engulfing the entire district. Nearby townsfolk are caught in the green wave and become motionless, frozen in their tracks. I know from the movement list that I got that that is the third of the five movements. We've only got two more movements left.

Nerd. Or lack of movements. Oh, there you go. If only there was some way to get more time. Howie yells out, no, no, no. I'm closer than ever to rebuilding my recapitulator. He begins trotting closer to the flowers. It seems like time rewinds a few minutes for everyone.

Oh. Interesting. Howie explains the recapitulator. You watch him again get distracted and run off towards the Deja Violets. The bell gongs again. Sleek begins playing Da Capo. And the emerald wall once again begins emerging across the Grubdorf district, freezing everyone. Huh.

Where is the green wall in comparison to where we're standing? How far are we away from this green wall? You see it coming across the district. It's still a little ways away. Okay. Could we try to run towards the Deja Violets? Oh. You're along with Howie close to the Deja Violets?

Yeah. Time once again rewinds for a few minutes. Once again, you listen to Howie explaining the recapitulator. Could I try to send my mage hand out there to pick some violets? What are you going to do? Like send your mage hand out to like pluck them out of the ground? Yeah. All right, guys.

I think something crazy is happening. Let me try something here. So I guess while Howie is like re-explaining the recapitulator, you say that and you walk off in the direction of the Deja Violets? Yeah, just close enough so I could use my mage hand within range of those. Okay.

Bart casts mage hand and plucks a few Deja Violets out of the ground. But it seems like the instant that they're removed from the ground, they shrivel up and die. Oh. Oh my God.

Oh. Well, this is, we're in a little bit of a pickle here, fellas. How do we get the violets without killing them? Keep them in the ground. Keep them in the mud, mud. I guess that's an option. Howie has gotten distracted.

He's run off along with you guys, and now he's staring at the Dajah violets. Howie, how do you pick the flowers? Howie says, oh, you have to be very careful. They're very fragile. They need to stay in the soil. Oh. Sounds like a job for mud. Oh, you have to be very careful. They're very fragile. They need to stay in the soil. Oh.

Sounds like a job for Mud. Mud, I guess, tries to approach the flowers and takes his big old hands and tries to get a big old scoop of the dirt around. Mud approaches the flowers and once again, time seems to skip back a few minutes. Well, darn it. You're standing in front of Howie as he's explaining the recapitulator.

All right, mage hand. This time, you're going to scoop. All right, little buddy? I like how you're addressing it. You're going to scoop. It's talking to the hand. It's looking at me and it's nodding with its fingers. It doesn't give you a thumbs up?

You know, that would make way more sense. Inspiration died to Gus. Hey! I get to make an extra roll against you guys. No! That's not good. You know that mage hand lasts only for one minute, so you feel like you need to hurry a bit, Bart.

Okay. All right, go! Mush! Mush. Okay, you instruct your mage hand, and it goes and reaches into the soil and brings out a clump of soil with deja violets in it yay how he sees them and says oh excellent here he runs up kind of close but not super close to the deja violets puts his bag down uh then comes back to the group and

says put them inside that bag we should be able to hold them in there will do nothing could go wrong here uh bart's mage hand lets go and gently places them in the bag. The mage hand then cinches up the bag and Howie tentatively trots up to it and cautiously reaches out to pick it up. Nothing out of the ordinary seems to be happening. Howie says, Well, so far so good. Once again, you hear the twilight bell ring and Sleek begins playing Da Capo. The emerald wave continues to freeze everything and everyone in its path.

It's creeping toward you, getting closer and closer with every pluck of Sleek's loot. He should be hurting a little bit now. All right, how else do we need to make this glass thingy? What do we need to do? Howie seems distracted once again by the Deja Violets. He's, you know, looking at all of them in the flower bed there. And Wilhelm seems to be trying to pull him away to safety. I'll help.

You want to help? How are you going to help? I'm going to pick him up and carry him. The way that Gum-Gum helps anyway. All right, go ahead and make a, what would that be? Like a strength check, I guess. Again, this is a centaur you're picking up.

20. Gum gum we're talking about. He rolled a 20. Gum gum's strong. I know. I'm just saying visually. If you want to visually understand what's happening right now. How tall is gum gum? 7 feet. You can pick up a centaur, no problem. He's big. Despite how he's big sized, Gum gum is able to pick him up fairly easily

and carry him and Wilhelm follows along. So I guess you all move away from the wave like Mud suggested, out towards the edge of the district. Yeah. Yeah. Sleek strums his mossy lute with an emphatic final chord, and the emerald wave comes to a halt at the border between the Grubdorf and Ironhoff districts.

With a fetching smile, he bows to the city and disappears into Glockentower once again. This guy sucks. Should we maybe ask Howie how to stop this from happening? I think we gotta bomb the Glockentower, guys. Can we hold up the plans? Howie, what do we do?

Howie looks at it and says, like I said earlier, you need four key components to make the recapitulator. You need metal, wood, glass, and of course, my favorite, the Deja violets. Which we have now. Yeah, we have the violets. And where do we get glass? Well, lucky for you guys, you spot a sign pointing to your left that reads Ironhoff District.

Oh. Let's go. Let's go. Howie and Wilhelm say, Things are far too dangerous for us and Pip here. We're going to leave town and head back home. All you need to do is find those components and you should be able to craft the recapitulator.

The district's all specialized in different items and should be able to help you build the recapitulator. Howie hands over the bag that contains the Deja Violets and says, Here, you're going to need these. Here, you're going to need these. Here, you're going to need these. I'm just kidding. Thank you for reiterating, Gum Gum.

Appreciate it. And with that, Howie and Wilhelm take off with Pip in tow. Ta-ta. Cute couple. Pip in tow. Is my badger still giant? No, I think the badger would have drunk back down to normal size by now. Okay. I give it a cute headbutt. Not a hard one.

A cute one. Yeah. He's on my shoulder. Let's do opposed strength checks. Roll a d20. What? Strength checks? Yeah.

I don't want to actually headbutt him. That's super hard. 16? Okay, yeah. I was just checking to see if his headbutt hurts you. Oh, okay. Oh, because he's trying. Yeah.

No, no. You headbutt him, and he really tries to headbutt you, but it doesn't seem to have much effect on you. Ah, little guy. Good Gumball. So like I said, there's a sign pointing off in the direction of the Ironhoff district. Okay, let's go. All right.

That's the kind of leadership we need. I like gum-gum with a purpose. Let's go. He gets very determined. Yeah, got to save the world. You follow a paved path with flower beds on either side that opens up to another cobblestone courtyard surrounded by six tin-roofed buildings with sheet metal walls and iron doors. The buildings are clearly scaled down for smaller folk, and sure enough, as you enter the courtyard, you spot a crowd of halflings that are surrounding a raised silvery platform in the center. Oli, you go ahead and make a perception check.

All right. Ooh, 17. 22. That's a nat 20 for 27. Whoa! We're all so perceptive. You all had amazing rolls there. About time.

We know every person in this village. So all of you are able to peer past the crowd and see two halflings on stage About time. We know every person in this village. So all of you are able to peer past the crowd and see two halflings on stage, dressed in full suits of armor, standing around an anvil. One is holding a hammer and chisel, and the other is holding up a long, ornate sword to the crowd. You also notice that everyone else in the crowd is either wearing full-plated armor or leather aprons. They all appear to be standing at attention with solemn faces. You think that you may have come into some kind of ceremony or service,

maybe something related to the district's guild or militia. And in the distance to the northwest, you hear a crash and a few screams. It sounds like they're shouting, Hair sentimental! Hair? Like, on your head? That's what it sounds like.

Huh. Can we look off in that direction? Yeah, you can't see too much in that direction, mainly because there's that big platform that seems to be attracting everyone's attention. Atop the platform, the halfling with the sword steps forward. She removes her helmet, revealing her bronze-toned chiseled face and a platinum-colored pixie haircut.

Etched into her chestplate reads, She says, I take great honor in sharing this day with all of you, my fellow halflings, for today we salute Chunky Golden God for their excellence in craftsmanship and the art of swordplay. Swing blade salute! Everyone in the crowd

hammers their fists into their palms three times. Smack, smack, smack. Bart does the same. So does their palms three times. Smack, smack, smack. Bart does the same. So does Gum-Gum. Smack, smack, smack. I punch Gum-Gum three times. Oh, oh, oh. Mud and Kyborg seem to be getting some rather mean looks from the nearby halflings.

They're like, looking at you guys. Okay, I do the follow suit. Ellie places the blade on the anvil and turns to the halfling with the hammer and chisel. She says, Chonky, please do the honors and mark your initials in the swing blade, blade of glory.

Chonky bows. They place the chisel on the blade and raise their hammer high. A huge gust of wind plows through the crowd from the northwest corner of the courtyard. Halflings and pieces of armor fly across the cobblestone. A rotating column of air touches down on the ground and violently rips up cobblestones as it floats toward the platform.

It reaches out with a column of wind and sucks up the swing blade blade of glory into its core funnel and propels Chonky into a nearby wall resulting in a crunch. A deep wispy voice bellows from the tornado. I am Shandell and vengeance is mine! Alice screams out, Loose air elemental! Halflings

to arms! To arms! We must retrieve the swing blade blade of glory! The crowd of halflings disperses into the nearby buildings and two small platoons of armed halflings march in formation toward the air elemental. There's a lot of drama in this town. This is cool. Yeah. Like, is this, what's the state of

the actual town? Has news of Sleek reached this area? Like, is everything in chaos? Like, is this like Columbia and Bioshock Infinite? Well, it seemed like they were carrying through with their ceremony when you walked up. It kind of reminds me of Hercules,

that town, I think it was called Town of Pheebs, where it was like super chaotic and they always had bad things happen and then Hercules shows up. Yeah, so that's us. We're Hercules in this situation. We're here to save you, townspeople. There's an air elemental attacking

that has sucked in the sword. The swing blade blade of glory. It has a name. Swing blade. Swing blade blade of glory. The swing blade blade of glory and is now standing in the middle like close to us.

Well, it's not close to you. It's off in the distance on the platform. Like I said, there's some platoons, farmed halflings, marching formation now approaching the air element. This seems like a good time to earn some favor with the crowd if we go help. Okay. Yeah, can I run toward them and ask Air Mantle why she's mad? So just for reference, you all entered from the southeast corner of this district into the courtyard, and everything is out in front of you

so off kind of like to the north and northwest okay so gum gum you said you were gonna try to run up to the air elemental why are you mad well gum gum tries to get up closer to the platform to the air elemental but you're stopped by a squad of halflings who are wearing armor and they say halflings only we have this under control folks oh halflings only. We have this under control, folks. Halflings only, huh? Bart, Bart, Bart. They nod at Bart. Bart steps up and goes, let me help then. Yeah, I mean, they let you through, Bart,

but it seems like they're blocking everyone else. If you're going to help me, these fellows behind me are honorary halflings and they will absolutely help you defeat this air elemental. I promise. Cat Borg is picking his nose. I'm her steed. Her noble steed. Go ahead and roll a persuasion

check, Bart. Persuasion. Bart, Bart, Bart. And I lower down on all fours. I want to see, I want to, I hope some people send us fan art using hashtag stinky dragon pod. I want to see Gum Gum the some people send us fan art using hashtag stinky dragon pod. I want to see Gum Gum the half orc on all fours as a steed as Bart the halfling rides him.

He loves it. Oh, look, phrasing there, bud. Yeah, Bart riding Gum Gum. It's family friendly. It's family friendly. Yeah, they seem suspicious, but Bart, you were so persuasive to them that they opened up their ranks and they let you all pass through. You won't regret it. Okay.

Is Bart on me now? That's up to Bart. He could be. No, Bart's going to keep walking. No, we got to be professional. All right. Well, I'm still on all fours. On all fours. I'm galloping.

Bart goes, come on, boy. Come on. Let's go. And I gallop towards the air elemental. Chanel. Ready to go for a spin. Ellie winces at the sight of her brothers and sisters being tossed around like ragdolls. She looks around for the next platoon, but her ranks are either scattered

or wounded. She sees Bart and quickly sizes him up. She sprints over to Bart and says, You there, stoutly halfling. I see you're hardened by battle and armed with both sword and loot. You must be the leader of this tall, motley crew of big folk. Will you and your party answer the call?

Will you join our ranks in our hour of need? What's in it for us? Oh, God. It's your people. Allie kind of furs her brow and says, we'll let you get one item from the blacksmith for each of your party. That works.

And we'll give 10 gold each. Oh, and of course, it goes without saying, fame, repute, and glory amongst the halflings of Ironhoff. Oh, perfect. Yes, absolutely. You know, I would have done halflings of Ironhoff. Oh, perfect. Yes, absolutely. You know, I would have done it for free. We're your men. Bart does a salute, but is really awkward

about it. Knocking your fist in your palm three times? Yes. It's kind of like when you play paper, rock, scissors, if you imagine that. Oh, got it, got it. I thought it was like in front of the chest, like punching straight out. No, that's not it.

Yeah, I wanted to clarify. It's kind of like doing paper, rock, scissors. Okay, yeah, he does that. Allie says, I knew you were full of honor to the battlefield, but let's try to flank it from the rear. Follow me. She leads you around the back of the buildings to the west side of the courtyard.

As you're treading through the flower beds to your left, you notice the spur line sail road and the northwest platform up ahead. It looks like a hurricane ripped it in half with luggage, trolleys, and bodies left in the wake. Goodness gracious. Bart, make me an investigation check. You got it.

Investigation six. This looks terrible to you. Hold on. Let me put my contacts in. Are you just going to roll again? I was going to see if Gus would let me. No, no.

You finally round the corner of the last building and come to the northwest corner of the square, now looking at the back of Chanel the Elemental. Allie says, All right, we need a plan. Clearly charging headlong and using normal weapons of battle have little effect on this creature.

Do you have any suggestions? We could attack it from above. How? How tall is it? It's pretty big. It's an air elemental. It's essentially a living tornado, Chris. Right, it's exactly, yeah.

Allie says, Quick, we must figure out before more halflings are injured. Can you gum up its works by getting too much stuff inside of the air elemental? Are you asking Allie? Yeah. She thinks about it for a bit and says, I'm not certain. I've never actually had to fight an air elemental before.

Oh, neither have we. We're in a new territory together. Well, in Pokemon, bug is good against flaunt. No. Nope. Rock, ground, rock. Rock. Rock.

Rock. So just for reference to air elemental, this one would be considered large, so about 10 feet by 10 feet. Okay. Oh, damn. I could jump over it, get a bunch of rocks. I would jump into it.

I have a ring of jump. We also have our boons, our boons of things. We do. Is there anything that would help us in this situation? I have boon of speed, which I'm not sure how it could be effective right now, but what do you guys have again? The ring of jump triples my jump distance. I could get above it and come down on it.

How do we, the question is, how do we stop air? Do we blow it in the opposite direction? Superman always flew around in the opposite direction. Yeah. I know. Mud turns to gum gum. Let's get... We can get into it and kill it from inside.

Okay. Let's do that. Yeah, let's do that together. Can you do it too? Yes. You can jump. No, I'm going to go from below. You'll go from above.

Okay. I don't know how you jumped that low, but okay. At this point, Chanel takes notice of you all and charges in your direction. You really think you can throw caution to the wind? Can you find me? But suddenly, lute music begins to play over the air and two emerald circles materialize in the courtyard,

one to the north and one to the south. Uh-oh. They both appear to be 10 feet in diameter and spinning counterclockwise. As Chanel is charging towards your group, one of the emerald circles appears in front of them, and the loop music gets louder until... all of time seems to pop back a couple of minutes.

We were just given redo circles. So if we totally ruin this or die, somebody needs to get back in that circle to reset us. Okay. Chanel plows into the courtyard from the northwest. They reach the platform, suck up the swing blade blade into their core funnel, and propel Chonky into a nearby wall.

Crunch. I am Chanel, and vengeance is mine. Again. All right. Wait, that means that Chanel's aware of time manipulation. Is it said again? If the wind goes clockwise and then we do it backwards,

it'll be counterclockwise, and then it means it goes away. Allie jumps down from the platform. Loose air elemental, halflings to arms, to arms. We must retrieve the swing blade, blade of glory. Allie points to you all and says, you, the stoutly halfling and big folk, follow me. Is that right? Yes, we'll follow you. Where should we go?

Allie leads you on the same path you took before, behind the western buildings, parallel to the sail road. You reach the northwest corner of the courtyard again, and she turns to you and says, does everyone else feel like we've done this before? Yes. No. I'm just kidding.

That was a little joke. Is there any chance that there is something that Mud can roll to see if he knows anything about air elementals? Yeah. As being a magic-based creature and Mud is magic-based? Roll, I guess, like an arcana. I was hoping you wouldn't say that one. Yeah, arcana check.

Okay. That's a 10. You think that non-magical attacks would be fairly ineffective against it. Okay. That's a 10. You think that non-magical attacks would be fairly ineffective against it. Okay. I can relay this to the group. I'm just saying we need to attack it with magic. Who's got magic to attack it with? I have magic.

Okay. Allie chimes in and says, it seems we can't get near it. We can't kill it. And now it can send us all back in time. We need some kind of new plan. How do you capture something without it knowing? Uh... A big net. I use

my dwarven stone of bread, and I create darkness and smoke all around us to, like, to kind of create just a lot of smoke around, so that we can maybe try to approach it stealthily? I don't know. I'm really just grasping at straws here. Cool.

What is in our eyeline? I think if we dropped a building on it, that would help. Yeah, you're kind of between a couple of buildings near some flower beds, between buildings next to the courtyard. Out in the courtyard is that platform where Allie and Chonky were, Golden God, and like the spur line railroad, sail road, where the trolley got knocked over. Oh, I have an idea. I have an idea.

How many of those flowers do we have? How many flowers do we have? That's a good question. The mage hand was only able, like, imagine your hand reaching in and picking up like a plot of dirt under flowers. So it's like one bundle of Deja Violets. Could we throw a flower at it? It'll pull it out of dirt and it'll go backwards and the tornado will spin.

It will wilt and die if we pluck it though. No, no. We just, we throw it with the lump. We give it a flower with a lump and then it spins backwards and turns itself inside out. I'm not sure the flower is going to make it spin backwards. Yeah, I think that'd take us all back in time. Can I see the sword inside of it?

It's hard to make out. There's a lot of debris in there in general. If you want, you all can try to roll maybe like a wisdom or intelligence check if you want to try to see what we can figure out from here. Yes. Oh, what if you'd heated the metal? That's what I was trying to see is if I can figure out from here? Yes. Oh. What if you heated the metal and it would glow? That's what I was trying to see is if I can see

the sword so I can do that. Hmm. That's a 13. 11 for wisdom. Oh. Six. Wisdom is six for me. Oh, we were doing wisdom? I did intelligence. I think he said either.

Intelligence. Yeah. Oh. I'm going to roll. I think he said either. Wisdom or Intelligence. Yeah, whichever you prefer. I'm going to roll. I'm going to stick with my 13. Take the best of both worlds. Sordo chimes in and says, What if we do what we did with the Deja Violets? We used Mage Hand to pick the dirt.

How did we do? Was it getting, when we got closer to it, was it, it was turning us back. Sordo says, sneak up on it without it noticing. That's why I cast the dwarven stone bread. Oh, so you actually did that. I thought you were just like speculating, like trying to like spitball. Yeah, that's why I figured getting up to it without it noticing us would be the better thing. Oh, okay.

Sorry, my bad. I thought you were just like spitballing possibilities with the group. Yeah. So it creates darkness and the smell of freshly baked bread. So we're now in a, we have now a darkness. I also want to use Mask of Wild, which obscures me in natural phenomena, which I feel like a windstorm is a natural phenomena, is it not? Well, a windstorm is, but an elemental is not.

Allie says, of course, we can set a trap if you obscure yourself and we just need some kind of cage to capture the creature without their knowing it. I thought it was a cage back at the apothecary. Okay. Allie says, okay, new plan. I'll tell you what. I'll order my platoons to distract Chanel for as long as they can and to steer the creature away from those emerald circles. They're going to need a leader in my absence. How about you with the blue spiky hair? You look like you could wreak some havoc on that elemental. Brink raises an eyebrow and a smirk comes across his face. He starts to chuckle and bolts off towards Chanel.

What did he get here? Was he with us the whole time? He's been with us the whole time. I didn't know it. He was at the bakery. How have I not been just totally ragging on Brink Tuster this entire time? You guys didn't tell me Brink Tuster was hiding behind me. He's your best friend now. I hate this.

He's working with us. Brink Tussler. Allie watches him run off and says, okay, I guess I'll take that as a yes. The rest of you, come with me. Okay. Hey everyone, thank you for listening to and supporting Tales from the Stinky Dragon.

If you got the time, I would love it if you could go and tell a friend about the podcast. You know, podcast live or die by word of mouth. You can engage on social media, tweet or engage on Instagram with at StinkyDragonPod. You can use hashtag StinkyDragonPod and maybe we'll use your name in an upcoming episode as an NPC. Just like ChonkyGoldengod, the halfling based on AtKeruali. Apologies, I'm sure I mispronounced that. Chanel the Wind Gin, who is based on AtFruitBat. Thank you so much for tweeting at us.

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She raises her elbow and jabs it straight through the window without flinching. Glass shatters and spills everywhere. She looks to you all and says, after you? Are we at the apothecary? No, you're at one of the buildings there in the Ironhoff district. Remember the apothecary is back in Grubdorf, which is now in the Emerald Wave. That's what I thought.

Covering green. Yeah. I run and dive through. Make an acrobatics check. So many acrobatics checks. One, one, one, one. It was a one. Was it actually? Yes, it was.

It was an add-on. Gum Gum tries to run and dive through the window, but runs headlong into the wall of the building. He takes four points of damage. Oof. Is that what it looks like when I do it? Yes, it does. He takes four points of damage. Is that what it looks like when I do it? Yes, it does. It looks exactly like that.

Oh, God. Mud goes in through the hole like a normal person, steadying himself as he does it. Are you sure you don't want to make any unnecessary checks for this where you could potentially damage yourself? No, I'm okay. I'm a big boy who just wants to make it through the hole. I was trying to be quick. I say to the wall.

Are we going through, is this a window or is this a door that we just busted through? It's a window. I dive through, I dive through. Make an acrobatics check. 25. That's how you do it, Gum Gum. Oh, yeah.

Kyborg dives through the window perfectly. Not a scratch. I kind of just flop. I kind of limp through it. And Bart, you join them as well? Yeah, he does a little hop in after the window has been clearly broken open by Kyborg and does a little...

Acrobatics. Acrobatics. Nah. Nah. The way she described it sounds like it's just like a pretty easy hopping in. Moving like a normal person. Nothing fancy. You enter what appears to be

a halfling-sized forge in pristine condition. It's really comfortable in here, guys. Huh? Mud, cyborg, and gum gum all make me dexterity saving throws. Saving throws. 19. That's up.

17. Come on, gum gum. Seven. Oh. Gum gum, you're not used to being in such a small building that's built for people smaller than you. So you hit your head on the low ceiling and you take another five points of damage. Five? Jesus. Gum Gum's gonna

die. This building is Gum Gum's greatest enemy. Well, yeah, this building has damaged me nine damage. Please let it damage him some more, please. I want nothing more than to Gum Gum to just almost die from a building. Yeah, has anyone

in D&D ever died from a building? We're about to see it. I'm sure. Like not a trap, not a magical building, just a normal building. I guess I was disoriented from hitting my head so hard that I walked into the ceiling really hard. Yeah, Bart sees this happening and goes,

oh, that's rough. I'm going to take one of my potions of healings for myself. Yeah, do it. I'm going to look one of my potions of healings for myself. Yeah, do it. I'm going to look for comically small furniture. Do I see any? Well, it's not comically small, but yeah, it's made for smaller people. I mean, you're in a forge, like a blacksmith shop essentially, and on the left side of the room is

a furnace the size of an igloo with piles of coal and a shovel. In the center of the room is an anvil larger than Allie's halfling body and a hammer the size of her head. On the right side of the room are workbenches with various tools and weapons neatly organized. I take a chair from the workbench and I set it by Gum-Gum and I say,

Here, buddy, take a seat. You look like you've had a rough day. I pick it up. No, no, no. You take a seat. I picked it up. Gum-Gum, take a seat. You said take a seat. I picked it up. Gum, gum, take a seat. You said take a seat. That's his thing. Oh, God.

You need to be clearer. You played right into it. Yeah. You said the phrase. I just wanted his dumb idiot self to crash through the chair. Nope, you picked it up. Now I'm just holding a chair. Sit down, gum, gum.

Sit down. Allie says, welcome to the Swing Blade Forge. We normally don't let just anyone in here, but these are extenuating circumstances and I need extra hands. Do any of you have experience using Smith's tools? Are we going to make a cage? You know, we don't have much experience in this, but we're very eager to learn. Right, guys? Yeah.

I love that attitude. Bart really wants to impress Allie. Oh, she seems to like it. Excellent. She puts her hand on your shoulder and says, I love a clean slate. I'm going to guide you all through building us a metal cage for that dreaded elemental out there.

So welcome to Blacksmithing 101. No better time to learn than during an attack on your town. A multi-tiered emergency. I also forgot I have danger since I did have advantage on that saving throw against that wall. Too late now. Too late now. With Allie's hand on Bart's shoulder, he laughs and a little bit of spit comes out. Oh, I love it. He laughs and a little bit of spit comes out.

Oh, I love it. So Ali says, there's four steps to blacksmithing. We need each of you to take care of one of those steps. Okay. We need someone to take charge of the furnace, someone to take care of the forging, someone to do the welding, and then finally someone to quench. All right.

Which of you is going to handle each of these? Well, I'm really good at drinking things, so I could do quench. Which one of these steps involves dirt? Dirt. Probably none of them. Unless you count. Is metal dirt? To a degree.

Yeah, you're right. To some people. Yeah. No. I want to do welding because that sounds like the coolest one. Okay. I'll do furnace because I love being number one. Allie looks at Mud and says,

well, lucky for you, forging has the most metal slash dirt. I imagine forging involves a lot of hammering. Of course, strength. Yes. It seems like we should give that to our muscly friend over here who just hit his head on the ceiling. I can hammer. Oh, I thought he wanted to quench his thirst.

Wow. I think he'd be better with that big old chair lifting body swinging the hammer. Okay. So is that your order? Yes, I'll take the quenching. Perfect. All right, we don't have much time.

Now that you've all decided, let's talk about your tasks. All right. Each of you has one minute. Hold on, Spin hold on let me get my timer ready before i get into this oh god we just do just timer in our head right each of you has one minute to complete your respective tasks oh so bart you're gonna have to take care of the furnace you're gonna have to heat the metal until it gets to the appropriate

temperature then gum gum is gonna have to shape the metal by hammering on the anvil. Next comes Kyborg, who's going to join the pieces of metal together by welding them. And then finally, Mud is going to rapidly cool off the hot pieces of metal by submerging them in the water. All right, no big deal. We got this. We got this. First try. From a metagaming perspective, just so the audience can follow along as well, each of the characters is going to have to roll a skill check until they make a successful roll. Then they have to roll a particular dice, depending on which step they're on, until they get to a number goal. And if they do that within one minute, they succeed. If they don't, then they fail and

they have to go back and start over. I assume we're doing this one at a time, right? Right. It's one, then the next, then the next. It's a little different each step. I'll try to explain it as we go along the way. And it's, yeah, it's one real-life minute. That's why I've got a timer up here on my computer. Two questions.

If we roll a critical fail, do we have to start from the beginning? So if you roll a critical fail, no, because that's the first step is the skill check. So once you get the skill check, then you go to rolling

a specific hit die. If you roll a one on that die, then yes, your cumulative total resets to zero. Okay, and then when you say we have to start over, does that mean like going back to furnace or starting over welding? Depending on

where you fail, you have to go back one step. Yeah, so if I fail, we have to start completely over because I'm the first step. Right, but if you fail at quenching, then you go back to welding. So if you fail at step four, you go back to step three, because I'm the first step. Right. But if you fail at quenching, then you go back to welding. Yeah. So if you fail at step four, you go back to step three, essentially. Got it. Perfect.

All right. Well, no pressure, Bart, but you are up. I'm going to start the timer. You have to roll an intelligence check. Go. All right. Rolling. All right.

Failed. That's a four. Fail. That's a nine. That's a failure. That's a four. That's a failure. Fifteen. Fifteen. All right. Failed. That's a four. Failed. That's a nine. That's a failure. That's a four. That's a failure. Fifteen. Fifteen. All right. Fifteen. That's a success. Okay. Okay. Now roll

a d8 one at a time. You have to get up to 30. Okay. We got an eight. Excellent. Nice. You glance inside the furnace and see the raw ore beginning to smelt. We got a two, so we're at ten. Ten. Another two. Twelve. Thirty seconds. You grab a two, so we're at ten. Ten. Another two. Twelve.

Thirty seconds. You grab a nearby set of bellows and start blowing onto the hot coals and bright flames lick the edges of the furnace. You are making the slowest fire ever. Turn on turbo. Turn on your turbo. Twenty seconds to go.

Oh, gosh. Come on. Twenty-five. Twenty-five. Come on. Twenty- 25. Come on. 27. 10 seconds. 27.

We got over 30. 34. You did it with four seconds to spare. That's stressful. The button to get the D8 on my computer. I'm like, get it. It seems like initially when Bart's trying to stoke the furnace, he keeps failing.

He keeps spilling coal everywhere, making a huge mess. But eventually he manages to get the furnace to the right temperature and begins heating the metal. And just before failing, he's able to get it done in the nick of time. So we're on to forging. So Gum-Gum, it's up to you to get the forging done correctly. You have one minute starting now. Roll a strength check.

You grip the hammer laying atop the anvil and swing it violently at the smelted metal. 21. 21, you did it. Oh, wow. All right, now you got to roll a D6 one at a time. You got to get up to 20. Oops, I did roll two.

All right, it doesn't count then. Roll one D6. Come on, Gum Gum. Three. Sparks fly as you beat the gleaming metal into submission. Six, that'sum. Sparks flies to beat the gleaming metal into submission. 6. That's 9. 40 seconds. 10.

15. Come on, GumGum. 16. 30 seconds. Hammer harder, GumGum. You rolled a 1. Actually, that resets back. Gotta keep going. You pummel the metal too hard and its shape begins to warp.

That's a 1. You pummel the metal too hard and its shape begins to warp. That's a one. You're at zero. Oh, gov, gov. One, zero. Oh, gov, gov. Three, three, six. Good, good. Ten.

Good. Three, two, one. That's time. Time is up. Oh, no. Did we do it? No, that failed to get there in time. I'm sorry.

There were too many ones by Gum Gum there. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, up. Oh, no. Did we do it? No, that failed to get there in time. There were too many ones by Gum-Gum there. It's lava roughly in the shape of a sword. Gum-Gum hammers so hard on the metal, he's so into it, that he breaks the metal.

It shatters into various pieces. I'm sorry. Quick metagame question. Because I'm a bard, if I roll a one, I'm lucky. Does it count for this game? Ah. Or is it still? I go back to zero.

You only get to roll that on skill checks, like a d20. Gotcha. Okay. Since Gum-Gum destroyed the metal, we got to start over with Bart redoing the furnace. All right. Hey, I hope you're hanging out at the end there, Mud, because you'll be there for a while.

Mud is hanging out by the water and just playing with his shape of water spell and just like making shapes and stuff, float around and entertaining himself. Intelligence check, go. We're ready. 13, we did it. All right. Much better. First try. Roll a d8, one at a time.

Six. Nice. Six. Seven. Excellent. No whammies. No whammies. 13. Seven. I roll a d8 one at a time six Seven excellent whammies no any 13 2020 Doing really good 22 40 seconds 27 or sorry 29 Yeah, 32 you did it in 26 seconds.

Excellent. Got the hang of it. So since you were able to succeed so quickly, I mean, I guess you really learned from your previous attempts at this. Since you finished it in under 30 seconds, you get an inspiration die for this mini game. We're going to call it a do-over dice.

You can use the do-over to reset something. So you all have one do-over die. It can be used for any die roll. To be used by the group. Yes. Gotcha. Cool. All right.

So yeah, use it if you guys need it. All right. So we're back on gum gum. I'm ready. You're going to have to make a strength check. You have to roll right now. Go. Gum gum smash.

Yeah. That's a success. All right. Roll a D6 one at a time. Four. No right. Roll a d6 one at a time. Four. Four. No ones. Come on.

No ones, my dude. Seven. Good. 11. 13. Come on. 18. That's right.

That's right. So close. One. That's a reset. So close. Ooh. You missed the anvil entirely and smashed your own hand. Do my inspiration die.

35 seconds to go. Did it. Did it. 23. You did it. That was under 30 seconds too. No, it's 34 seconds. Nice try though.

I like you boldly claiming something you have no way of confirming. All right. All right. So that burns your do over die. though. I like you boldly claiming something you have no way of confirming. Alright. Alright, so that burns your do-over-die, but it did save Gum-Gum from destroying the metal. I whisper, thank you. Gum-Gum seemingly got the hang of it a little better this time than the last time. It was able to shape the metal

by hammering it on the anvil. And he hands off the pieces of metal to Kyborg for welding. So, Kyborg, it's up to you to weld them together. You're going to roll a dexterity check first. And then after that, you're going to roll a d6 one at a time until you reach 15. However, if you go over 18, that's a failure. The metal will break.

No, my strength may be too strong. Don't do that. Ready, go. Watch and learn. 17. You take hold of the sheets of metal and place them in the furnace's flames, preparing to meld the two slabs.

Five. Dang it. Start over. Dang it. Start over. Reset. Dang it. Reset.

Five. Five. Dang it. Reset. Five. Five. Dang it. Reset. No. Six. Six. Six.

Twelve. Twelve. Thirty seconds. Four. Sixteen. Sixteen. Oh, success. Woo!

You successfully do it right at 30 seconds. That doesn't qualify for a do-over die, but you did manage to get through it pretty quickly. It was a little harrowing there. Some resets by Kyborg on the welding process, but you were able to successfully weld the pieces of metal together. I forgot I was right-handed for a moment. So I was hammering it with the wrong hammer hand. We move on to the final step, the quenching of this hot metal.

I just have to dunk metal in water and not screw it up. To cool it correctly. So from a metagaming perspective, Mud first has to roll a wisdom check. Then he's going to roll a d4 one at a time until you reach 10. However, if you go over 12, the metal becomes too brittle and it's a failure. And you also have one minute. So go, wisdom check. 18.

18, that's a success. Roll a d4. Two. Was that two? Dang success. Roll a D4. Two. What's that? Two. Dang it. One. Reset.

Oh, no. Three. Three. Seven more. Five. A plume of steam rises from the brine as the metal starts to harden. Nine. Nine.

Yoke over three. I went to 12. 12. Oh, you're fine. You're fine at 12. If you go over 12, it's a failure. Nine. Yoke over three. I went to 12. 12. Oh, you're fine. You're fine at 12. If you go over 12, it's a failure. Yeah. You did it in about 30 seconds.

But yeah, you're able to successfully quench the metal, and you all are able to form a cage for you to trap the air elemental. Good job, guys. Only one failure. Only one reset. I don't know what you're talking about. As you all are admiring your work, Allie is off to the right side of the forge

at a workstation, tinkering with something. She turns around and says, Well done, my apprentices. You might have a career in blacksmithing if you keep practicing. And if you're going to practice, then you might need a set of these. She holds up a set of smith tools.

Oh. I have the thieves tools, so I don't want the smith tools. I'll carry them. You failed. You were the only one of us who failed. I'm saying I can carry them. Are they for the group? Well, yeah. It's just one set?

Yeah. Okay. I don't really care who carries them. Gum Gum can have them. Alright. I also incorrectly gave myself an inspiration die because I thought I got one for myself, but it was for the group, so I'm taking that away. Why don't you go ahead and keep it? No, no, no, no.

Keep the paperwork all in order. Allie says, oh, and while you all were working, I crafted these for our cage. She holds up a set of hinges along with a lock and key. And with lightning speed, she manages to weld them to the cage with precision. Now, all that's left is the plan. First, we need to disguise the cage.

Is there anybody good at disguises? Hard. Probably me, I would guess. Okay. What would I have that would indicate that? Something in my inventory? Wait, also, what's the disguise? Oh, I have a disguise kit.

Do we need an animal? Oh, okay, never mind. I have a disguise kit. If we need an animal in the cage to trick him, then that's Mudd's, like, fetish. Yeah, because air elementals really like what kind of animals? Puppies! Puppies!

I can get in the cage. Badgers. Badgers. Now! Ellie says, second, we will need to steal the swing blade blade of glory back from the monster. Who's up for that job? I'll do that! Okay. Third, we need some sort of bait or distraction. Who's good at distractions?

Oh, wait, I'm good at that too. I can take care of distractions. Okay. And fourth and finally, we need someone to close the cage on that elemental and lock it in. Oh, Jesus. I guess that's me. All right.

I think I can do it. So Bart, I guess go ahead and roll. What does your disguise kit give you exactly? It says it gives me a pouch of cosmetics, hair dye, and small props. It lets me create disguises that change my physical appearance. Proficiency with this kit lets you add your proficiency Bonus to any ability check you make to create a visual disguise. Ooh, all right. So I guess go ahead and make like a Deception check.

Deception, okay. And would I add anything on to that roll in addition? You would be able to add your Proficiency Bonus to that. Another plus two. Okay, so that would be a 14 total. Okay. So you have to disguise the cage as something like inconspicuous that the Air Elemental wouldn't notice. What do you want to try to disguise it as?

Maybe just like a wooden box. Just like any box that would be out about in the district, like nothing special to it? Yeah, like a crate. Yeah. Like something that someone would be shipping something in? Yeah. Okay. Right, like it's holding like fans. That could be really, really, you know, the air element would really like it.

Oh, friends. going to be really, really, you know, the elements I really like. It's like, oh, friends. So I guess you all are going to disguise the cage, put it out there. Gum Gum, how are you going to try to steal the sword back? Well, it's inside of it, right? Right. I was going to try and jump up over it and go through the center.

Okay, and then just get it. Yeah. Going into the eye of the storm. Okay, and then Mud, what are you going to do to distract it? You're going to need to distract Chanel and then lead them to the cage. I'm going to... That's a good question. You could be like bait. Yeah.

Could I cast some magic like earth tremor and shake the ground beneath it so it gets its attention? And then I suppose turn into a camel and run towards the cage. Camel bait. Is the cage like iron bars? It's solid iron. Not bars. It's like solid iron. So if I go into the cage, how am I getting out of the cage? Do you do like minor illusion inside

of the cage? I don't have that. Well, hell. What are you doing? Could I cast summon beast and send a bestial spirit into the cage for it to chase? Sure. That's the plan. Okay. Hey, Gus, you can ask how I'm going to close the door on the monster.

You can ask me how I'm going to do all my stuff. Well, I mean, yeah. How are you going to do that? Are you going to hide next to the cage? What's your plan there? I'm going to pull out a nail file. I'm going to be hiding on the other side of the cage. And then when he goes inside the cage, I'm going to walk around.

And then I'm going to close the door on the cage. Okay. That sounds like you all have a plan. The sound of me dusting off my hands. I can't wait until you somehow, you're going to mess it up somehow. And I'm going to love it. Talking to the guy who messes up literally everything. Thanks, Chris.

Teamwork. You guys ready to try this? Yes. Okay. Bart did a really good job, actually, disguising the cage as just a plain wooden shipping box. So I guess you all push it out into the courtyard. Gum, gum. Are you just going to run straight up and charge at the air elemental?

No. I so unlike him. You tell me what you're doing. Well, what is it doing right now? It seems to just be creating havoc, fighting with the platoons of halflings who are distracted right now. Okay. We bring on the other side with them. Before Gum Gum tells us his plan, Mud slaps him on the butt and gives him guidance for whatever the heck he's going to be doing.

Okay. Is it distracted where if I just run up, it's like... Yeah, I mean, you probably would have to make a stealth check, but you would have some advantages on it because it's not looking in your direction. It's preoccupied with the halflings. Then Gum-Gum wants to sneak up to it,

ducking behind halflings. I picture Kronk in the Emperor's New Groove sneaking around. Dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun. Wee-oo-wee-oo-wee-oo. I'm sure Kronk in the Emperor's New Groove is sneaking around. Dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun. Wee-oo, wee-oo, wee-oo. This is the second time we've made that reference to the Kronk moment. We really like that movie. It's a great movie.

Go ahead and make a stealth check, Gum-Gum. 11. I'll say you have advantage because, like I said, they're distracted by the- He also has the guidance. 19. Yeah, we'll say Gum-Gum still has it because he had advantage on this. All right, so GumGum, you managed to successfully sneak up behind Chanel. What's your next step?

All right, gonna use the jump spell. Is there something nearby that's, like, I can jump onto as well to give me even more height? Not really. Most everything around it is destroyed because of the winds from the air elemental. It's, like, ripping everything up. But if you have that ring of jumping, you can triple your jump distance.

So, I mean, that should be sufficient for you to jump up into it. Well then, yeah, I'll jump in from the top and come down the center so that it can't push me away. Okay, and then what? You're gonna grab the sword at that point? Yeah, I'm gonna be swinging around, grabbing the sword. Yeah, we'll say you're able to jump up.

From everyone else's perspective, it seems like Gum-Gum just shoots into the air with a really high jump. It's like a Jedi thing. He jumps up into the air and down into the air elemental. Roll me a dexterity check. 21. Yeah, you're able to grab the swing blade blade of glory. I'm flying through it and I grab the sword.

That's so cool. Yeah, using momentum from your big jump, you're able to grab the sword. That's so cool. Yeah. Using momentum from your big jump, you're able to grab the sword and then roll out of the air element. Ooh. So now you all have Chanel's attention. So now it's Mud's turn. Yeah.

I cast Earth Tremor to get its attention. Mm. It has to make a save. Yes. Deck save. 15. De a save. Yes. Deck save. 15. Dexterity. Ooh.

How is air dexterous? Air elementals are very dexterous. It has a plus five dexterity. Not enough. Yeah. Your spell is successful. Does three damage. So yeah, it takes three points of damage.

However, it is not knocked prone. You can't knock an air elemental. Okay, so then I cast Summon Beast, and I summon as big of a bird as I can, and the bird is just flying circles around the air elemental, trying to get its, like, gaze, and then once it realizes it has its attention, it flies directly towards our box. Make a performance check to see if you can get its attention.

Three, three, three. Oh, yeah, it doesn't quite seem to work. Chanel notices you casting these spells and rushes over to you and makes a slam attack against Mud. Oh, my. Oh, no. pushes over to you and makes a slam attack against Mud. I'm going to blow your mind! Oh no. Oh, and that does connect. That hits and it does 14 points of damage to Mud with a slam bludgeoning damage.

14 points? Am I able to see the thing from the cage area? Yeah, you're like trying to hide up against the cage with your file and yeah, you see this happening. Can I shoot an arrow to get its ascension? Sure. Sorry, I'm just trying to help Mud out. Since I've seen it in the last minute,

I'm gonna do seeking arrow if I land this shot. So, ba-doom, that's a 11 plus eight. 19. 19, okay. Yeah, it hits. So it makes to make a dexterity save. What is that? DC 9?

Yes. Dexterious. Yeah, it makes the save. It rolled a 14. So I don't land it? Oh, you land your hit. However, it doesn't take the additional 1d6 down. The additional.

Got it. Okay, okay. I want to keep in mind that I was also just sitting behind the box. I didn't actually look at it. I just shot the arrow. And since it was seeking arrow was also just sitting behind the box. I didn't actually look at it. I just shot the arrow, and since it was seeking arrow, it just found its way over. I'm still filing my nails. Roll me a d20.

I want to see if it gets its attention, or if it's still focused on mud. Please no longer focus on mud. Mud cannot take one more of those hits. Eleven. The air elemental takes note of you and begins running over in the direction of the cage. Okay. I'm in here in the direction of the cage. Okay.

I'm in here. I'm in the cage. I'm in this box, this big comfy box. Let's have Mud roll to see if the distraction kicks in. So go ahead, Mud, go ahead and roll me a d20 again to see if your distraction kicks in to get the air elemental to go in the direction of the cage. 14. Okay, yeah.

The air elemental shifts direction slightly and begins running in towards the cage. Now it's up to Kaibor to actually spring the final step of the trap and close the cage. Go ahead and roll me a strength check, yeah, to see if you can close it and keep the air elemental in there. All right, there we go.

Is that 25? 25 with authority. Yeah, I kick the door, it will close. Is that 25? 25 with authority. Yeah, I kick the door. It will close. Open or close? Wait. It's open to let it in. It goes inside.

Then I close it with a kick. I heard you stumble, so I knew you were a little confused about it. Okay, yeah. I want to be very clear with what's going on here. You slam shut the cage door and close the lock. Everyone looks around nervously for a moment. You slam shut the cage door and close the lock. Everyone looks around nervously for a moment. From inside the cage, you hear a muffled bang and boom until finally silence.

The entire district of halflings erupts into cheers. They all throw their helmets in the air and a platoon of halflings charges towards Bart. They hoist him up on their shoulders and Allie says, Three cheers for Bart the Monster Slayer and his big folk companions. Hip hip hooray. Hip hip hooray. Hip hip hooray. on their shoulders and Allie says, three cheers for Bart the Monster Slayer and his big folk companions. Hip hip hooray. Hip hip hooray. Hip hip hooray. They're lifting me up and I'm like bouncing.

Yeah. Bart, you're the man of the hour. All right, yes. Well, let's do this again, but put me on a chair and everyone go, ha, ha, knock, knock, knock, knock. And I tossed the chair that I've been carrying this whole time. There's a chair that I've been carrying this whole time. There's a chair that goes flying through the air.

There's already a ton of metal helmets flying through the air like it's graduation day at the, I don't know. School of Halflings. Do they just go, for he's a jolly good halfling, for he's a jolly good halfling. Oh, you know their song. The song of my people, Gus. They finally lower Bart to the ground and Allie looks smilingly at all of you. Oh, you know their song. The song of my people, Gus. They finally lower Bart to the ground and Allie looks smilingly at all of you. I'm very grateful for your bravery, honor,

and the heroic service you have done for our district of the halflings today. Because of you, Ironhoff can sleep peacefully tonight and knowing that we are safe and... Suddenly you hear screams in the distance. They appear to be coming from the next district, Steinman. Up the path, you see a flamboyantly dressed, though disheveled man sprinting away from Steinman straight towards you. As he finally reaches the threshold of Ironhoff, he stumbles to the ground, exhausted and heaving.

Allie steps forward with authority and addresses the man. What seems to be the trouble, young human? The man struggles to catch his breath. Spit it out, boy. The man takes in a deep breath and with terror in his eyes says, Dinosaur! Yeah!

Yeah! In the distance, you hear the roaring of a Tyrannosaurus Rex. Maybe not as cool as I thought. That might be a bit much. Must go faster. Must go faster.

Must go faster. And that's it for this episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon. Are there actually dinosaurs in Dungeons & Dragons? You're going to have to tune in next week to find out. I got to say,

when you started bringing up Velociraptors recently, I was like, it's like you can see the future. I want it. I want it. You willed it into existence. Have we talked about our new merch?

Oh, yeah, we should. We should plug it on the show. Yeah. I'm wearing a hat right now. Yeah, we got new merch. We got shirts, hats in two different colors. Three. Three?

The shirts and hats are three. We have like the navy, like that kind of khaki color. What's the other one? And black. Oh, and black. Oh, I didn't know that. Today I learned. Look at that.

And yeah, they had the little stinky dragon logo embroidered on the shirt and the hat. And you could get them in three different colors. It's very cute. It was great because when we were talking about making these pieces of merch, we had to try to figure out how many stink lines should a dragon have and in what direction should they go. I think it's perfect. And we perfected it. We made a successful

save. What'd you say, John? I said, why is the dragon stinky? What makes the stink? He's got halitosis. Okay. Why is it coming out of his butt then? That's where his mouth is. Oh. Two-headed dragon.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, of course. Anyway, you can check it out at store.roosterteeth.com. We got tons of great Stinky Dragon merch. You can show your support for the show that way on top of, of course, any love on social media you can send us. We really appreciate it. But thank you so much for listening,

and we'll be back again next time.