Tales from the Stinky Dragon - Gems of Glrrb - C02 - Ep 23 - The Plunder of Underglobula

Episode Date: November 14, 2023

The party fights their way through the maze of the Underglobula and discovers a large crystalline grotto! Support us at stinkydragonpod.com/first ! Join us on Discord: https://discord.gg/roosterteeth Check out our merch and follow us on Twitter, Instagram, TikTok and more: https://linktr.ee/TalesFromTheStinkyDragon Go to http://shopify.com/dragon to sign up for a $1/month trial period. Go to https://hensonshaving.com and enter STINKY at checkout to get 100 free blades with your purchase. (Note: you must add both the 100-blade pack and the razor for the discount to apply.) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is a Rooster Teeth Production. Shinky Dragon, imbibe our latest brew. Hybrid you a do. It's a mixture of trench roast coffee, a bite of bitters, vanilla claw extract, psychic screech sugar, shape-changing soda, and topped with battle-axed orange slices. One pour of this percolation is enough to transfigure out the root of any problem. Previously, our adventurers were winding their way through the subterranean labyrinth of underglobula in search of a mysterious mold. After some twisting turns, treacherous traps, and other tumultuous troubles,

they now find their new friend, Hexel, in need of help from a cubicular conundrum. Pour yourself a potation. Let's proceed with this pungent potboiler. Hello, everyone. Welcome to Tales from the Stinky Dragon. My name is Gustavo Sorolla. I'm the dungeon master of our putrid party.

I'm going to hit our four players with an arrow. Woo! Yeah, there we go. Normally, someone says, Al. I was waiting for Barbara. I send it back with my special powers of monkness and i'm in charge now hi everybody matisse here the dm of grotesque now i can be a player this week's role-playing warm-up question is describe your character's current relationship with the character that is alphabetically after you.

So Barney, describe your relationship with Chip. Chip to Elga. Elga to Mateed. And then Mateed back around to Barney. What about Jacques? You can reply as Jacques if you want. Who would Jacques go with? Okay, so it would be Elga's relationship to Jacques. No, we don't have to do that.

So yeah, go ahead and kick us off Barney, if that's okay with you. I'm Chris Damaris and I play Barney Farney, who is a human cleric. Barney Farney. Barney. I think Chip is a good young

man and he's got a lot of Chip kick to his steps. Kick to his step. What's Barney's relationship to Chip? That's a description of Chip. What's Barney's relationship to him? His relationship? Relationship? I like Chip.

You know, I like him. I think of him like a nephew. The nephew I never had. Or maybe I did have. I don't remember. Someone I can be nice to in small instances but don't have to be around all the time get them nice gifts once a year I think he takes care of me more

than I take care of him so I don't think it'd be fair to say he's like my son there you go so I guess I'm a crazy uncle I think that's your relationship to all of us to be fair all right I'll go uh hey hey been a bit who am i blaine gipson also known as blaine gipson i went in reverse order on that question mark i'm ron burgundy i'm a male tiefling rogue level five are we still level fives

yeah you threw in male that's a new one it says on the i mean i didn't just read that but it's like you do it for the first time every week listen okay this one's legitimate though because we haven't recorded with these characters in like a month it's true it's been a hot second oh oh elga oh where do I even start? At the beginning. Oh, goodness. She's like a daughter to me. But you know how sometimes you get those dogs and you look into their eyes and it's like, wow, you've lived like hundreds, thousands of years.

You might be a human trapped in the soul of a dog. I see that in Nelga. So as much as I want to say she's like a daughter to me, I feel like she's actually like a grandmama, like a Grammy. So I don't know. All I know is I sure do like that Elga. Oh, gee. That's a lot to write on a birthday card. It's just four lines of oh.

It's like a dog that's had lived a thousand lives. Why couldn't it have been like a child that had like old soul eyes? Why was it a dog? Have you seen a child that has old soul eyes? Because if so, that's creepy as heck. Yeah. But I guess I'm just, I guess I just thought it was like, he would like a daughter to me, but no, when you have a dog. She's like my daughter dog grandma.

Yeah, dog that likes to bite everyone with no explanation. Drink their blood. Classic dog things. Okay, thank you. That's very sweet. She's also like a chihuahua that likes to bite you, but you still love her so much.

Ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff. For my form of the beast, could I turn into a chihuahua that likes to bite you but you still love her so much. Ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff. For my form of the beast, can I turn into a chihuahua? Is that a thing? Sure. Elga just starts shivering. Oh. Oh, hello. My name is Elga Von Brass. I'm Barbara Dunkelman

who plays Elga and she's a half-elf vampire barbarian and you know my teeth my teeth i would say is still very mysterious and you know you can't spell mysterious without my teeth but you know it's kind of like when you have one of those neighbors who you like you don't know very well but like they're really sweet and they like make sometimes goodies for the other neighbors, but they don't really talk a lot. So it's like you like them, but you're still wary of them, but you want to be friends with them, but you don't know if they want to be friends with you. And so you just kind of like do your thing together.

That's my tea. Okay. Hi, I'm john reisinger i play matty confucius who's an eric cochrane ghost monk and uh matty's relationship with uh barney is complicated um matty is interested and intrigued by barney but um matty doesn't trust people very easily and barney is very mysterious barney is not very specific about his past, what is there. And so Matide's not sure whether or not to trust this odd, wildly athletic man who can jump out of windows.

It's still something that rings in Matide's memory, that moment of watching a geriatric man with a walker leap out of a college window. So yeah, it's just apprehension because of the mystery behind those eyes, those old eyes. Like when you see a dog that has old eyes. That is what Matisse thinks when Matisse looks at bunnies. That is an old dog.

And like you say, he's like an uncle to you? Or what kind of family relative? I mean, um, Mateed's pretty sure Mateed might be the oldest one of the group. And so Mateed doesn't actually see Barney as like an elder to Mateed.

Interesting. That is interesting. That makes sense. I was gonna say, I imagine all this in front of a family therapist. Like we're all saying these things and someone's like, 100% in family, in group therapy, Mateed would be just blunt and just would say the truth. Dog that's lived a thousand years. I see.

Needs to be put down. Yeah, that is interesting about the age dynamic. Even though Barney is the old man, Mateed and Elga might both be older? I don't know that. I think Chip's probably the youngest. I'm the baby of the group. The baby. Where's my wife?

It's just interesting. I'd never thought about the specifics of that age dynamic. Just because Barney's the only one who appears to have aged. Anyway, that's it for the arrow question. If you all remember, you collapsed into a square stone room with a raised stone catwalk skirting the perimeter above you. To the north and south were two doors, and on the catwalk above you, you found a third exit.

Unfortunately, while speaking with and striking on four stone statues at the corners, Elga became trapped inside a transparent gelatinous cube, and though she managed to find freedom, Barney succumbed to the slime's insides instead, and as if that weren't enough, while your backs were turned, yet another gelatinous cube revealed itself and engulfed

your companion, Hexel. We were in the thick of it, so we're just going to jump right back in. Elga, it was actually your turn. You are the one who is up. Oh god after is barney real quick could we go ahead and just check the box for taking a long rest since we've been in this cave for four weeks you've been like in suspended animation it's not actually restful you've been like frozen it's like when you're playing a video game and you pause it and you go do like run an errand for a month and then you come back you're like oh right i was in the middle of something.

Like in the middle of combat. Yeah, if you could remind me where I am in relation to Barney and Hexel. Yeah, you were near the, I think all of you actually were pretty much for the most part up near the northern part of the room engaged with a gelatinous cube, the one that you were aware of initially.

Hexel and the other gelatinous cube are on the southern end of the room by the southern door. So that's pretty much how it's laid out. So the one in front of us in the north is like, that's taken damage. Yeah, you all have done a bit of damage to that one. Okay, I'm going to try to just destroy that one so it doesn't keep creeping up on us.

I'm going to use my great axe of gaining to give it a little slicey slice. Cut this into little jello cubes. It slices. It dices. What else does it do? give it a little slicey slice. Cut this into little jello cubes. It slices. It dices. What else does it do? There's always room for gelatinous cube.

Elga, be careful with the slashing damage. We're not sure if the cubes were split into asia cubes. Oh, but doesn't that be so cute? Like little baby jello cups just like moving around on the floor and then we could just squish them with our feet. Now, Mateed, would you want to fight one 30-foot gelatinous cube or 31-foot gelatinous cubes? I think

Mateed would rather fight the tiny ones because Mateed would do unarmed kicks to all of them and just stomping them all out. Yeah, a little area of attack as well would work. Okay, I'm going to do my great acts of gaining. Get those gains, Elga. 15, a little area of attack as well would work. Okay, I'm going to do my great acts of gaining. Get those gains, Elga. 15, does that hit?

Yeah, that does hit. Nice. Excellent. They have low AC. Doing 17 points of damage. All right, 17 points of slashing damage. Elga unleashes her great acts of gaining and puts some serious slashes into the gelatinous cube,

which is starting to look a little ragged. It does also a plus two because I'm raging, so that would be 19 points. Yeah, the cube is worse for wear, but is still quivering with delight as it slowly digests Barney Farney. Well, that's the one on the south, though, right? No, Barney's in the one in front of you.

Hexel's in the one in the south of you. Okay, well, I'm going to slash it again because I got two attacks. Two attacks. Boo. I missed that. That is a 26. That does hit. And then I will do shwing a shwing.

That would be 11 points of damage with my rage. Shwing a shwing. Shwing a shwing. Shwing a shwing. That's Elgo's new catchphrase. It's classic. Shigga the swing. Shigga the swing. You hit it again.

It looks like the gelatinous cube has a tentative hold on its strange life, but it is still alive. Dang, this thing's got a fair amount of health. Yeah. Because it took like, it took damage from like Chip, it took damage from Barney, it took damage from me and now Elga. The trade-off is it has pretty terrible armor class.

And Goss, again, is not telling us if any of these are resisted. Oh, yeah. When we first started fighting it, I bet it was like pristine jello, like transparent and beautiful. And now it's like when you go to like CC's Pizza and then you like get one of those little sticky things and you've been hitting things with it all day and it's got hair. Oh, like out of the gachapon?

Like a little sticky hand? Yeah. Disgusting. It smells. No one wants to touch it. Do they smell? I wish I did this before. Now, I'll hold on this. Okay. Sorry. I have a spell as a bonus action that I could have used to do some extra damage on it before I attacked, but I have Hunter's Mark, so.

Oh, yeah. Next time. Mark, so. Oh, yeah. Next time. All right, so that is my turn. Yes. Okay, that's it for Elga. Barney, you're up. Then Gelatinous Cube and then Mateed. Oh, Barney, you're in the cube.

You take acid damage. Okay. Can I do anything in the cube? Like, how does it work? Yeah, after you take your acid damage. Okay. You can take damage. Oh, 25 points of acid damage on Barney Farty.

That's 66. You got almost like perfect score on that. Oh my God. I'm a high achiever. I'm out. That was fun. Oh, you'll digest even better now that you're not rickety in there. Sorry, I didn't... I should have taken you out.

I thought I would be able to take this thing down. Barney goes limp. It's hard to tell, but he's floating in suspended animation inside of the gelatinous cube. Now, Barney, this might hurt, but think of the wonders for your skin. It's got exfoliating qualities, I'm sure.

You're going to look clean as a whistle when you get out of there. I think he is unconscious in there. He might be dead, guys. I don't know how this works. If I take poison damage at my turn, do I still get it? Do I do a death save?

At the top of the turn? Yeah. Well, it's acid damage right at the top. And yeah, you asked about your death save. Yeah, do I do one or I wait for the next round? So it's when your character hits zero, they become unconscious, and that's when they begin making death saving throws.

So you would make one right now. So that answers your question of what you can do, Chris. You can do a death save roll. 11. Hey, that's good. Yep. Yay. Okay, that's it for Barney.

It's time for the other gelatinous cube. He's pretty happy digesting Hexol. Let's roll some damage for that. Oh, it's that one. One on the south. How far is it from, like, the closest member of our party? 21. We're all, like, between these two things. It's about 40 feet away.

Okay. The room is pretty big. They're pretty much on the other end. Yeah, on the other end of the room. To total, the room might be between 50 and 60 wide. So it's about 40 feet to the other side. And you just did 21 damages to Hexel. Yeah. Are they still okay?

Hexel's still moving, unlike Barney. Oh, I guess Hexel can try to make a save to get out of there. Wait, it's the gelatinous cube's turn. It's not Hexel's turn. I'm getting ahead of myself. Mateed, it's your turn. Okay. After Mateed is Chip.

Yahoo. I'll chip off the old block. Mateed's going to gamble that the cube that has Barney in it is close enough that Mateed could probably finish it off and then pull the cleric out. Try it.

He seems comfortable and fine there while he does his death rolls. He doesn't seem to be struggling. Yeah, he's got all the time in the world to roll his little dice. Yeah, because like pulling him out right now would be like what? Just pulling out just an unconscious body. He's got a couple more death save throws. He's very pragmatic. These are all things that goes in Mateed's mind, like just trying to think of what they should do. He's just nod couple more death save throws. Matide's very pragmatic. These are all things that goes in Matide's mind,

like just trying to think of what they should do. Chris is just nodding. Yeah. Okay. Poor little guy. Poor little Barney. We'll get you out there, little boy. I'm an old man.

I can do two actions, two attacks per action. I get my one action. So I'm going to use my bonus action, and I'm going to cast Arms of the Astral Self, which starts off with an AoE attack to anything within my sight that I choose. Within 10 feet, sorry, within 10 feet, which I am right by the queue,

because that is where I ended my last turn. So that starts off with 2d6 force damage on a deck saving throw. So dc14 deck saving throw from the cube, please, Gustavo Sorolla. All right. FYI, whenever you use arms to the astral self, I picture like those gifts people make where they add like little stick arms to things that don't have arms. And it's like, hey, like going around like jazz hands and stuff.

That's what I always think in my mind. I thought it was cool when i added it to matide's uh because it's like one of the paths you can take with a with a monk and i think of it more like multiple wings but that's just how i envisioned it no i i envision it the same exact way that you did gus like to a t when people just draw on the arms to like birds and stuff like that. I was thinking more like Angemon from Digimon. I'm sorry, what was the save that you asked me for? 14, deck saving throw.

14 decks. You'll be shocked to know the gelatinous cube has a negative four on its dexterity. So it needs an 18 or better in order to make this save. It'd be really cool if this damage could just end it, and then I could do a lot of other... Nice. Cool.

Still a good roll, though, but... Still a good roll. If not, if it had a negative four. Yeah, I rolled two ones. It was two points of damage. Not quite enough. So it really was stick figures then. Yeah.

Yeah. I always imagine, like, imagine like in like Bollywood where they're doing like the multiple arms and then you know all that cool stuff. Oh yeah. That'd be cool. Yeah. Okay. Then I'll go ahead and do a attack on

this gelatinous cube with I think my spear of the superior baker is what I want to do. Okay. And I want to make sure not to pierce the little man inside of it. I mean, it's already down. What's worse that could happen? You can do damage to them. So that's a...

I'm going to roll for attack. That's a 22. That hits. That's 12 points of damage, piercing damage. Yeah, the cube shudders and shivers a little bit and then seems to lose its form and melt away into the ground. Oh!

Leaving Barney, resting him gently onto the stone floor. He's like a fresh baby just covered in placenta. I'm just imagining her little baby Barney. You know like Han Solo coming out of the Carbonite Like that but dead No breathing Everyone thinks of something different I was thinking of Neo

Coming out of the pod in the Matrix Me and Gus same wavelength Today Slippery and for some reason Nude The acid hate away Is closed slippery and for some reason nude and barney lost his clothes in there except he somehow still has briefs on his tight whities which barney wears tight whities oh absolutely um okay so barney's good well relatively he's fine. So I'm going to turn my attention to the other cube and fly towards that cube.

And I have another attack in my action. So I'll go ahead and do, I guess it's that spear again. I stab it with an attack roll of 24. That hits. 13 points of piercing damage. This is the first bit of damage on this cube. Your spear pierces it. It's not as effective as the other one.

It doesn't kill this one, but it does seem to hurt it a bit. Okay. And then I think that's everything I do because I did my bonus action, did my action, did my movement, and I blow a cheeky little kiss at the gelatinous cube.

Oh! Did it blush? Two sides of it just become little red splotches. I don't know if a bird can blow a kiss because they can't make a kissing sound. It just clicks. Gelatinous cube

that's what Kawaii does. That's what Mateed does. Mateed does more like a drag queen click, like a, you know. And winks. The cube replies, uwu. Okay, I'm done. All right, that's it for Mateed.

Back up to the top. Chip, who will be followed by Hexel. Hey there, Chip Haney here. What's my distance from the cube and what's my distance from Barney? You're pretty close to Barney. You all were, you know, pretty much right up on it. I'll say Barney's five feet away from where you are.

Okay. And the other, you know, this cube at the northern end has been vanquished. The other one down to the south is probably about 40 feet away. Okay. I run 10 feet away from Barney, away from the cube,

and then I sprint 15 feet towards Barney so that I can slide in like a dude in a baseball game. And I say, Barney, Barney, stay with me! It's not your time to go! And then I...

Just for my mental picture, do you do like a leg first slide or like a head first slide? A leg first slide. Okay. head first slide? Leg first slide. Yeah, it's very cool, very dramatic. And I take a potion of healing out of my bum bag and I take the cork, I

spit it out and then I put it in my mouth and then I put it in his mouth and say, I'm gonna bring you back to life. Do you baby bird it? Yeah, are you baby birding him? Mateed, are you familiar with this? You said that with the potion

in your mouth. I want you to take a gulp of water and then say the same, deliver the line with that liquid in your mouth. Here he goes. Oh, that's a lot. Roll the gulp of gulp, oh, Barbie. That's where Blurble Gerbil came from. I just spit all over himself.

It's very cold up here, too. Oh, that's great. That's great. So I baby bird the potion into Barney's mouth hole. Okay. Oh, you're so slippery. You're so slimy. I can hardly keep my hands on you, my baby boy.

All right. Go ahead and roll for that healing Barney, I guess. Okay. I do want to call back. Remember when we were talking about kind of our rule that we were thinking where if it's an action, they get the full effects of the health potion. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

Is that still a play? Okay. You want to do that? If that's cool with you. Oh, yeah. Because that'd be 2d4 plus two. So that'd be 10. 10.

Yeah. So then you get 10 points of health back, Barney. Where am I? I slap his face a couple times. You're with me, Barney. It's your nephew, Chipaney. Why are we slowly sliding down the floor?

You fell into a giant jello, just like Thanksgiving. And then, I mean, that was my action. And I did a lot of movement already to do the dramatic entrance. Yeah, 25 feet of movement. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You got five feet to go. Oh. Right? Don't you have 30 feet? You have 30. Yeah, you have five more. Then I move two feet and then I slide back three feet again just to make sure we're all rounded out that just looks like you slip there is goo everywhere okay so then outside of that uh what's that stinking thing that i got there you got a bonus Yeah Yeah What is it?

I'm working on it Cunning action You can take a bonus action on each of your turns Just take the dash, disengage your hide action So I'm gonna hide You can dash towards the other cube What am I gonna do? I'm gonna dash up to it just to get swallowed myself Sure, I guess

Sorry, that was very aggro Thank you for your input, Matin. No, you do rogue things. You go hide. Alright, I'm going to go hide. In this open arena we're in? Can I hide? Yeah, I mean, you can always try to hide. It's your ability.

You're a rogue. He's hiding behind the unmoving body of Barney at this point. I like the keyword there is, you can try. You can always try. It's always a matter of what the role is. All right. So yeah, I'm going to hide.

What if it's just Chip gathering up a bunch of like the gel from the dead one and just covers himself in it. And now he looks like he's one of them. Camouflage. 14 points of acid damage. Hey, stinkers. The holidays are here, which means holiday deals. November 13th to 16th, buy two, get one free on all tops

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Keep an eye on the store on November 20th before they're all sold out. The first album from the Groteth campaign, Arrested in Atro City, is streaming now. You can listen to it on all your favorite music streaming platforms. It features 11 tracks of monstrous melodies and thrilling themes, including the campaign's main theme song, Greetings from Grotef. Check it out wherever you stream music. What's something that works so well it feels like magic? What comes to mind for me are things like air conditioning,

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So if I use a cheap razor, it really nicks and irritates my skin. I do not have that problem at all with Henson. The blades are so great. They just cut right through my thick hair and really, really give me a great close shave, which is really tough to get for me. It's time to say no to subscriptions and yes to a razor that'll last you a lifetime. Visit hensonshaving.com slash stinky to pick the razor All right. Is that it for Chip? dot com slash stinky and use code stinky. All right. Is that it for Chip? That's it for Chip. Good job, Chip. Oh, yeah. Oh, did Chip get medical training while he was a volunteer firefighter? Is that why he was so good at that?

Oh, of course. You want to talk about the volunteer fire brigade? I can spin you a yarn about it. It's one of my favorite things. Spin you a yarn. I also like how he was probably like a little, like a softball league, little league, whatever it's called. Yeah.

How did you know? Coach or player. Yeah, volunteer. Or both. Column A, column B. That's my turn. Alright, it's Hexel's turn. This time, Hexel's going to try to make that strength check. Get out of there. This should be pretty easy.

Hexel needs a four or better. Don't roll a one, Hexel. 14. Good job. Yeah, Hexel is able to burst free from the gelatinous cube that's engulfing it currently. Then what are they going to do? Hexel got any attacks? Yeah, Hexel's got some stuff.

Okay, Hexel seems to be, you know, vibrating and quivering a bit. And then it seems like Hexel reshapes itself and now looks also like it's taken on the form of Elga. Oh, that's fun. Wait a minute. But it's called Jelga. Jelga. Jelga.

You know, I do have a twin sister, so this is messing with my head a little bit. Hexel also kind of moves a bit just to be out of attack range from the Gelanus cube. That was a cool trick. That was cool. I like Jelga. Welcome. It is now

Elga's turn. I like the idea that it's just like the same size and shape as me. It's Jel with like a blonde wig on and like googly eyes that are just like swooping down. It's all stuff it found in the gelatinous cube. Like the remnants. It's not a wig. It's like someone's scalp. Like a previous victim's scalp in here. So Elga, it's your turn after Elga is Barney.

Just FYI, Elga, because Jelga is there, the gelatinous cube will have difficulty attacking you. So, Jelga's, like, protecting me almost? Kind of like a distraction. Like, it's confusing. What do I do?

You can attack it. Now that Jelga's there, does it also take on Jelga's voice qualities? You know? Oh, I'm a little girl and I'm by the gelatinous cube. Which one do I hug? So I don't want to attack Jelga because... Well, Jelga's on your side.

Jelga's Hexel just reformed. Just reformed. Wow, that's so weird. Okay. And how close am I to the cube now? You were still pretty much right up on it because you attacked. Oh, wait, did you attack it? No, you didn't.

Mateed attacked it last time. I attacked the one in front of us. Yeah, you're up at the northern end of the room still. So you're about 40 feet away or so. Okay, well, first I'm going to cast Hunter's Mark as a bonus action. And I'm going to choose that big old gelatinous cube. So for this, since you choose a creature, you could see... Is this considered a creature?

Yeah. I imagine so. Okay. And then until the spell ends, you deal an extra 1d6 of damage to the target whenever you hit it with a weapon attack. But I have advantage on any wisdom or perception or wisdom survival check you make to find it as well. So, Cashed Hunter's Mark. This is my first time casting that spell ever. You're a wizard, Elka.

I'm a wizard. And then I would like to run up closer to it. My walking speed is 40, so I want to get like, you know, five feet away from it. Melee range. Melee range. And then I would like to use, once again, my great axe of gaining to slash at it.

Okay. 12? That hits. These things have terrible AC. Excellent. Okay. And that does, oh my god. Technically 9 points of damage with my rage. Nine points of damage. Rolled a one on damage.

But it's plus six, so it's seven, and then plus two for my rage is nine. And then for my hunter's mark, I do an extra D6. That's a six. So it'd be a total 15 points of damage. All right. That's a pretty good amount of damage.

And I know, just FYI, some listeners who are D&D players may know that barbarians cannot cast spells while they are raging. But Elgus Hunter's Mark is a paranormal power that is part of her being a vampire. So it is okay. It's not casting a spell. It's a paranormal power, which is kind of like a little homebrew thing that we got going on. I was wondering what that paranormal powers meant under it. I was like, it feels like it's not casting a spell. It's a paranormal power, which is kind of like a little homebrew thing that we got going on. I was wondering what that paranormal powers meant under it. I was like, it feels like it's not typical D&D. Okay, and then I want to attack again

for my second attack. With that axe again, serving me so well. Doing a little slash nat 20. That's a critical hit. Yep, go ahead and roll your damage. The second die is that if it shows to die whatever the second die is yep we'll just say is a 12 okay so it'd be 1 plus 12 plus 6 13 19 plus 2 21 and then plus another d6 for hunter's mark so it would be another four so 25 points of damage

correct a bad little round. So 25 points of damage. Correct. That's not a bad little round. That's a lot of damage. You got away from Jelga! Elga looks like she went to culinary school with those slashing skills, but the gelatinous cube is still up. It is pretty damaged after Elga's fearsome attacks, but it is still oozing around.

A gelatinous cube with little bandages on it. I don't feel so good. You know, when you're in culinary school and you're cutting jello. Yeah, that's like the first lesson they teach you. Boil water and cut jello. Yeah, make thin slices. That's my turn. All right, that's it for Elga, which means it's Barney's turn.

Then the cube, then Matide. Okay. How far away am I from that cube? About 40 feet. All right. Well, that's good. I'll cast. Okay.

No, no. I just want to make sure I was far away from it. Barney's a little scared of it. Oh, gotcha. Barney's going to cast Guiding Bolt. Level one like last time? Yeah. That's a crit for 30.

All right. Yeah, that hits. Do spells crit like that? Does it change the damage? Let's see how it rolls this damage when you hit it. I'm curious to see what it does. That's 35 damage. Oh, my God.

Well, it's going to be more than that because it made you roll twice. So some of those we're going to say are max. I don't know if I ever dealt with this before. You sure that was a level one guiding bolt? It said crit when I rolled. Yeah, it critted. So normally it's 4d6 for guiding bolt, but it threw eight in there. I was seeing 8d6.

I'm like, that is not a level one spell. Yeah, it's because it doubled the amount of dice. Yeah. God. I'm imagining Bar crit. It doubled the amount of dice. Yeah. God. I'm imagining Barney still prone and covered in, like, goo, and he just raises a finger like an uncle having you pull his finger. Just, damn. Nuked it from orbit. Yeah.

Barney lifts a weary finger pointing at the gelatinous cube on the other side of the room and a guiding bolt that seems way bigger than normal, way faster than normal, shoots out straight to the cube and explodes it into many, many little chunks spraying all over Elga and Jelga.

You all got slimed. Barney just did a Kamehame shot on this guy. But it's also like I loosened the can. Yeah, yeah. And then he just kind of popped it open. Your two slashes

actually formed an X. And he shot at that X, the target. The finishing move, yeah. The cube explodes and you all are safe from any gelatinous cube. You have vanquished both of them. Oh, we're done with the cave. Good job, everybody.

Just kidding. We've only got two right paths. We need five. Oh, shoot. Yeah, that's right. That was just combat from a monster card. Yeah, just go ahead and shake it all off. You all are ready to continue your search for the mold of Underglobula.

Does anyone perhaps have anything to bring this cleric to maybe a more formidable health level? I can do that. Not very healy. Yeah, as a monk, there ain't nothing in my... I break things. I don't build them back up. I think Barney is our healer. Yeah.

So since you all successfully vanquished the gelatinous cubes, you all can take one short rest and you earn one right path card. So you are actually a little closer to finding your right path. Oh, yeah. We're still going through this place. Lovely. All right. I'll take a short rest.

Yeah, I guess so. Well, I have a temp HP, but I wonder if there's something that refills when I take a short rest. For a rogue? Yeah. Lucky. Is cunning action reset with a short rest? I don't think cunning action has, you know,

blues cunning actions. Yeah, you can do that like every turn. Unlimited cunning? That's right. Gang, I'm gonna opt out of this here short rest, but while you guys take a seat and rest your bones, I'm gonna show you my break dance routine.

Make a performance check. There it goes. Mateed's actually watching. Mateed doesn't actually sleep. Oh yeah. That's a nine. Oh goes. Mateed's actually watching. Mateed doesn't actually sleep. Ha-cha. Oh, yeah. That's a nine. Oh, yeah.

Mateed is doing the very much like just the nodding and eyebrows raised up like, yes. Whoop, whoop. Some people might call that dancing. Yes. Here we go. All right. Now kick it. You, Mateed.

It's more like broken dancing, am I right? I'm not going to laugh at that. That's rude. All right, so just a reminder's sake, this room that you all were in with the gelatinous cupidices, I assume, where you take your short rest, had two doors, one to the north, or on the lower level where you are,

one door to the north, one door to the south. And I believe Mateed had flown up to the catwalk and you had seen another third exit up there to the north as well yeah because we fell right correct yeah should we take one of these doors or should we go up to the catwalk and take that door oh well how hard is it gonna be to get all of us up to that tall door how high up is it yeah i like, you're the only one that can fly, so unless you're going to shuttle us back and forth. What? You guys cannot fly? I thought everybody could fly. No, actually.

Why didn't you learn how to fly? That seems like a very helpful skill for you to have. Well, see, I learned how to sneak, and that's where I put all my die in. You learned how to get lower to the ground, not higher off the ground. Hold on, let me try something. Bet. Bet. Bet.

Not quite yet, Elga. No. You grow some hair in your ears. It's like I'm slowly hitting puberty. Yeah. Not yet. The cat walks about 30 feet up above the ground floor.

Yeah, I could get each of you upstairs. That's the way we want to go. Yeah, like just carrying us each one by one type thing. Yeah. Me first. Chip reaches up.

Elga pushes Chip away. Up you, lady first. Apparently we are going that way. So yeah, Mati does a little bit of a taxi service of taking everybody up to the catwalk. We... Okay. You all are able to get up to the top and exit to the northern passage. Why not?

All right. Chip, you are the one who drew the last card, which means after you, it is Elga's turn to draw a card. You have center and right. And what are the... Available to you currently, you have careful consideration and boost morale. And one of those is charisma and the other one is dex? Morale is charisma. Careful consideration is wisdom and boost morale is charisma.

I love that confidence. I'll do the... I'll boost morale. You know, Elga's feeling really good after beating those Jellos, and so you know, I think we're feeling better than ever. Am I right? Yeah! Am I right, Barney?

Start breaking dance. Am I right, Matide? Matide gives a little pat on Elga's head. Okay, that is the most enthusiasm I've seen from Matide's ages. Let's go, team! I like to think that I gotta wait to see how your roll goes, and then that would determine the reaction. Yeah, so after exiting the cave,

you all, you know, came across what appeared to be an unfinished junction. But you carve your way through the miry cave wall, making your way closer and closer to the destination. Elga begins cheering everyone on, making her charisma check. Do, do, do, yeah! Woohoo! 20! Oh, Mateed is very excited. Mateed just pass, pass, pass, pass, pass. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Big wings going everywhere and everything like that. Helga's like a basketball. So boost morale allows you to remove a dead end card in the crossroads from the game. You draw a new card from the deck and place it face down in the crossroads. Is there a dead end in the river? There was one in there. It has been removed. So you have three options available to you, Alga. Left, center, or right.

Let's go center. Because you guys sent her to pick a card. Hey. Yeah, you go center through the cave system. And as you're walking along, you find a set of bone dice on the ground. Bone dice? Yeah, like dice made out of bones.

Pick them up and roll them? Let's say it's two six-sided dice. Okay, so it's two d6s? Yeah. You playing craps, Olga? I'm playing something. I rolled a one and a four. Yeah. The point is

set at five. I don't want to play craps. Did a voice just echo through the caves like that? Yeah. It's a craps joke. It's a gambling joke. They just appear to be... I'm going to put it on the pass line. There you go.

They appear to be just dice made out of knuckle bones. Okay. Could I like investigate them for like any sort of magic or something? Sure. If you have that ability or you can just make like an arcana check. I'll do an arcana check. 15? They don't seem to be any kind of magic device you're aware of.

They do seem, however, to be finely made bone dice. Could I pocket them? Yeah. All right. Elga's got bone dice. Could I pocket them? Yeah. Alright. Elga's got dice. No way those are haunted. Yeah. They're not. Totally not cursed dice. Could I show them to my party members?

And be like, do you guys like these? Do you think we should take them with us? Or do... I don't know what they do, but maybe if we want to play a little game while we're bored traveling, we could play something. I don't know if there's any relation but those are cubes and there's two of them and we just fought two big cubes i'm so proud of you chip you know your shapes that's wonderful you are progressing quite well, my friend. Did you know he could do that, Elka? I did not know he did that.

I'm very proud of you, Chip, you know? You learned, you know what the ball is, now you know what the cube is. I go south to that door we just went up to to just walk off the cliff. to just walk off the cliff. Is there anything else in this room other than these bone dice? No, that's it. From a metagame perspective, Barbara, that was a treasure cart you turned over.

So you got treasure. Okay, so I do pocket them. All right, that's it for Elga. Barney, you are up after Barney is Matide. Only one check left? Correct. You did boost morale, so all that's left up after Barney is Matid. Only one check left? Correct. You did boost morale, so all that's left is Careful Consideration, which is Wisdom. Careful Consideration reveals two cards in the crossroads, and you can choose one.

Okay. So I rolled a 17. 17. Barney, despite his bumbling exterior, does actually have some Wisdom here. I magoo it. Your what? Mr. Mag wisdom here. I'm a goo-it. You're what? Mr. Magoo-it. I'm a goo-it.

Yeah. Oh, I'm fluent in Chris. Oh, I think they said I'm a goo-it. That's what I heard. Like you know goo really well? Or maybe like, maybe, what's his name? That one detective. Columbo?

Columbo! I Columbo-it. Again, I'm fluent in Chris. I thought I was. Wow. Because of your careful consideration, the wisdom you bring to the party, you're able to know that going left leads to treasure

and going right is the right path. Oh! Both seem good. Selfishness or progression? Well, I mean, we would end up doing both of them right Do they stay or reset after this Reset Oh

And then he says eh treasure What do y'all think Should we get some treasure I mean we do have a right path right there right Which we need Well yeah Perhaps the treasure was our time all along. Okay.

How many red paths do we have now? Three or four? I can be very clear. This is where Chris has a hard time making decisions because this is where Chris conflicts with character. Character should be that Barney would make an altruistic choice. Chris is a hoarder in video

games and a hoarder in any of this stuff. And he's just like, I see shiny. Can I get shiny? I want shiny. It's always, it's like that gambling thing of like, well, what could we win? Well, Barbara just got a pair of dice. I got a pair of dice. Greatest stuff ever.

I'm thinking, and this might be metagaming too much. I'm thinking these dice might be like a bonus I could add to a roll potentially down the line. Or they're like valuable. Yeah, which, you know, it's pretty good. But also we need five right paths. So, yeah. Okay. Well, we'll just go to the right path if they reset.

We just walked past fantasy lottery. Like it's like it was like all the money we could possibly imagine. All right. Well, let's keep going. All right. Barney, you spot two gemstone statues pointing down a corridor, and you follow the path and discover another constellation carved into the cave ceiling. You feel like you're almost there.

We're almost there. All right. After Barney is Matide. What's my three checks now? And the river is fully reset too? So this is like fresh. Fresh, fresh? Yeah.

Don't talk about fresh. Look at these dance moves. Ah, kick it. Here we go. You going to roll for performance play? Ooh-ah, ooh-ah. Performance, that's eight. That's an eight.

That's worse than last time. Awicka, wicket. You have available to you Scout Ahead, which is Dexterity, Careful Consideration, which is Wisdom, and Boost Morale, which is Charisma. Scout Ahead does what? Scout Ahead reveals the top card of the deck in addition to a card in the crossroads,

and you choose one. Okay, I do that. I have good Dexterity. And I roll I do not have good dexterity. I roll an 11. You do your best to try to figure out and divine what the best path is, but you just can't quite seem to make sense of it.

Ah, well. Ah, well. Better luck next time. I can still just pull a card. Yeah. You have left, center, and right. Uh, let's go Yeah. You have left, center, and right. Let's go right. You head to the right, and you hear a low rumbling that reverberates off of the wall,

and the ground shakes and vibrates. Suddenly, rocks start falling from the ceiling of the cavern. It's a cave-in. Oh, no. Everyone needs to make a dexterity save. It's a trap card. It is a trap card. I rolled a nine. Nineteen.

Fourteen. Seven. Those are not good rolls. Well, 19 and 14 for Chip and Mateed. I rolled a nine. 19, 14, seven. Those are not good rolls. Well, 19 and 14 for Chip and Mateed. That's pretty good. I was limbered up from all the dancing. Kick it! Mike, I hope you put music every time I say kick it.

Elga and Barney take some damage as rocks fall from the ceiling and hit them in the head. They take two points of bludgeoning damage. Ouchies. The passage collapses in a heap and blocks the path before you. Don't worry, everybody. I've diffused this trap card for you now. You have, we can, we can look at these other two directions next turn. Thank you for your sacrifice.

All right. That's it for Matit, which means it is Chip's turn. Chip, are you going to be able to do the impossible? Are you going to be able to find the correct route? 100% have total confidence that I am about to find the right path card. What are my options? You have careful consideration, which is wisdom, and boost morale, which is charisma, both available to you.

Oh, how's that wisdom looking? It is not good. But doesn't the boost morale just remove a dead end or something? Yeah. Yes. So not useful either way. Yeah. The charisma one's not useful.

I'll go for the careful consideration. What's your modifier for wisdom? Minus one. Minus one? Oh, okay. Big roll. Big roll. That's a 20. 19. Well, careful consideration allows you to reveal two cards in the crossroads this turn

and choose one. So there's two available to look at, right? Or does the trap reset? The trap card stays in the river. So left and center is available for Chip to look at. Correct. Let's look. You weigh the options in front of you,

and you know that going to the left is a dead end, but going center is a trap. Oh. So then if I go to the dead dead end it just resets and we'll yeah okay uh hmm in universe how do i tell this to the team it's i think a chip it would just be full confidence this way guys and just straight to a dead end follow me gang put some pep in your step and i'll walk into a wall i trust trust you, Chip, to land on Earth. You'll never lead us in the wrong direction, ever.

Never, ever, Elga. You can count on that. You can put money down on that. Well, I'd rather not. Okay, we follow him, I guess, right? Yep. You follow him. Rather than a wall that he walks into,

you walk through the passage and end up on a cliff with a very wide river down far below. Impossible to pass on this side. It is, unfortunately, a dead end. Do we see anything down in the river? Anything like that? Or, like, any visuals? It's too dark to really see at that far.

You can barely make out a very wide river with various glints of light off of gemstones embedded in the walls. Chip would have run ahead to lead the group and then he would have used hide to make the group think that I fell off

the cliff. And then I pop back up and I say I'm goofing. Psych. You thought I was dead. I am not. Gotcha. All right. That's it for Chip's turn, which means it's Hexel's turn.

Hexel's going to try to help someone. Could he? Okay. I was like, Hexel doesn't pick a card. I don't think. Hexel's been just buffing someone. Correct. Hexel will buff. Oh, El Correct. Hexel will buff Elga.

So you will get advantage on your next action. On my next action. Yeah. And oddly enough, you are next. It is Elga who is next to go. And then after Elga is Barney. Everything's coming up, Elga. I miss

Jelga. I think she might still be Jelga. Me too. No, no, no. Hexel is back to their normal form. So then all you have available to you, Elga, is boost morale. Well, guess what, team? It's time to

do it again! Is there any benefit from a successful boost to your morale at this point? So the rest of the river resets, but that dead end card does stay there and boost morale does remove a dead end card in the crossroads from the game. Nice. And that's charisma, right? Correct. Charisma.

Ooh. My throat is so sore from all the cheering I've been doing all along the way. So it's a four. Unfortunately, you're a little too worn out. Your enthusiasm is not infectious. Unfortunately. Yeah.

Oh, Chip. Nobody seems to be roused. So the path in front of you to the left is the dead end and center and right are both available. Okay. I'll do right this time. Oh, wait. Don't I have advantage on that check that I did?

Oh, yeah, you could have advantage on that. That's right. If you want to do that, you're welcome to. Okay. Yeah, let's do that again. I'll just roll again. Oh, 20. Wow.

You start talking, your voice cracks, and you think you're going to lose everyone. But, yeah, you clear your throat and pull it together, and you do indeed manage to lift everyone's spirit. Give me an E. E. Give me an L. L.

Give me another L, which some people forget I have two L's in my name. L. Because some people forget it's in your name. There you go, my teeth. All right. Now G-A like Georgia, which I definitely have to learn. Like the mythical land of Georgia. And that spells?

El Georgia. Georgia. All right, team of brainiacs. You actually have two dead ends in front of you, the left, the center, and then the right is not visible. So you can remove either the left or the center and then the right is not visible so you can remove either the left or the center dead end i guess i'll remove the center dead end remove the center dead end and replace it with a new card from the deck and it is face down which means you can either go center or you can go right and center is a new card that just got placed uh i'll go center did

we win well we need two more do i need to dance well no i think we need one more because barney got one correct you just need one more right and we got awarded one for the fight that's right correct elga you spot what looks to be a shortcut you follow a trail that leads down to a rectangular tomb with three effigies and a stone door seals behind you. The door bears no handle or lock, but the center of it bears an emblem of an orange diamond. Orange diamond. And I'm in there alone?

The whole party's there. We'll say y'all are traveling together. So we're looking at three effigies and how many tombs? Is there like coffins or anything or sarcophagi or? Yeah, there's three of them. Three effigies and three tombs. Mm-hmm. Do you remember when we were out there looking at the stars and it created a diamond shaped?

I think the diamond is important here. I want to clarify something, John, super fast. You're in one tomb. It's like a big tomb. Tomb, yeah, you're right. And then in this tomb, yeah, are three effigies. Sorry. Okay.

What are the effigies of? Kind of like big coffins. Think of it that way. Okay. But we can't, do they have any like imagery on them or like heads? Yeah. I guess you go up to them and take a look. It goes without saying. They have etchings on them. The one to the north appears to have some kind of axe.

The one in the center has some kind of hammer. And the one at the far south has what appears to be a shovel. Didn't we come across things at the beginning of this place that had pickaxes? There were, when we were in that arena fighting the two gelatinous cubes, there were like, not glerbians. What are the other ones? What's the bad ones? Globulins.

Globulins. Well, not bad ones. We don't know. But those ones, and they were holding pickaxes, I think. That's right. Is it an axe, axe, or pickaxe? A pickaxe. Pickaxe, hammer, shovel.

Shovel. Gotcha. So it's just a recurring theme here, I guess. Maybe. What direction did we come in from? You came in from the eastern section. Okay. And they're lined up like in a vertical formation?

Correct. Yeah, going from north to south. So we see the hammer probably right in front of us? Correct. Okay. And they're lined up like in a vertical formation? Correct. Yeah, going from north to south. So we see the hammer probably right in front of us? Correct, yes. We could goof around and look into... Sorry, I got that goof from the last fight in my mouth. We could look around and look at these coffins.

You know, free loot crate. See what's inside? I just like how you pronounce. I just like how you pronounce coffins. Coffins. Axel, do you have any input on this? No, this is all very bizarre. I've never been down here or seen anything like this.

Okay. Useless. Wow. Wow. We were all thinking it. We were all thinking it. That was Blaine. That was Blaine.

I just also want to point out, like, I think there's some connection here with the diamond shape. There's an orange diamond on the door that we came in on. And when we were looking at the stars, it made like a diamond shape as well. Is it diamond? I think you described the constellation as a five-sided diamond or a four-sided diamond, Gustavo? I believe it was five. Yeah. So is the one behind us the? I believe it was five. Yeah. So is the one behind us the same kind of thing?

Yes. Okay. So that kind of diamond. I didn't know if it was like diamond gem or diamond like the thing on Mr. Sinister's forehead. Five-sided diamond. It's like almost like a star. Like think of like when you like a cartoonish big old actual diamond like that they would be on a ring. Think of that shape.

Like a Superman crest. Oh. Like you're looking at it from the side. Like it's cut down the middle. Yeah. Okay. Can I investigate the shovel tomb? The coffin? Yeah. What do you mean? Do you want like make an investigation check or like what do you mean?

Let's open her up. Let's see what's inside. That's where his plan ended right there. You open her up let's see what's inside that's where his plan ended right there you uh open it up and this seems to be occupied by some kind of plasmoid creature bearing corroded armor and a shield i close it what was in there chip nothing Let's get out of here. There's nothing in this here tomb. Gee whiz. You guys want to see some more dance moves?

Can Barney go to, I guess, the hammer? That was the one that Chip just went to. Oh, shovel. Oh, you went shovel. Yeah, he went shovel. So shovel, just for reference, is the one furthest to the south. Yeah, so that would have been to the left. Correct.

Okay. So you're going to hammer and you're doing what with it? It's hammer time. And open it. Are you going to hit it with a hammer? No. I've never heard that expression before. That is new.

You should coin that. All right. You open it up and there is like some kind of plasmoid creature in there. However, coming out from the chest of the plasmoid creature is some kind of like almost like snake-like serpentine disgusting looking creature, which strikes out at you. Everyone roll initiative. Oh no.

Oh my God. Dang it. Oh, is it a monster? You should have closed it. 10 for Elga. I think I, oh shoot. Five. I rolled a six. I rolled a six.

I rolled a five. So five for Chip, ten for Elga, six for Barney, five for Matide. Yeah. My dex is plus four or is 18. What's yours, Blaine? It is plus two. Okay. So I go ahead.

So Matide first. All right. Well, the creature that Barney encountered rolled a 20 on its initiative. So it goes first. I wonder who it's going to attack. It slams out, trying to hit the elderly cleric in front of him. Okay. Hitting AC 24.

That will hit. That will hit, yes. Indeed. Doing five points of bludgeoning damage. Okay. Bludgeoning damage? What does it do, headbutt him? It just, like, hit itgeoning damage. Okay. Bludgeoning damage? What does it do? Headbutt him?

It just like hit it with its body. Oh. A body slam. Yeah. It's like a weird kind of semi-liquid snake-like creature. It's not like any kind of life form you've ever seen before. So it's not a humanoid? No.

Okay. That is it for its turn. Hexel is next. Hexel runs up to try to assist Barney and rips off a piece of its own ooze and attaches an extra pseudopod onto Barney's body. What? What?

What? It's like a helping handopod, Barney. You'll gain advantage on an ability check or an attack roll. Wow. Thank you. That's cool. Just one? Disgusting. Yeah. Alright, Elga, you're up. Okay, this might be

a bit of a waste of a turn, but I'm gonna do it anyways. I'm going to use True Strike. So I point a finger at a target and my magic, which I imagine are my paranormal powers, grants me a brief insight into the target's defenses. On my next turn,

I gain advantage on my first attack roll against the target, provided that the spell hasn't ended. So do I get to learn anything about like what it's resistant to, what it's vulnerable to or anything like that with this? You feel like this kind of creature, like there's something like it's, it's a very strong creature. You think that normal attacks, like normal non-magical attacks might be not quite as effective as magic or as elemental attacks.

And you learn his name is Chuck. Aw, Chuck. You can't hurt a Chuck. Aw. All right, cool. Well, that's my action. So I unfortunately can't do anything else. I think that was worthwhile.

No bonus action? Yeah, I'm not trying to tell you what to do or anything, but I'm just reminding you, like, if you wanted to, I think you could rage, right? Because raging is a bonus action. It is. And I guess because we did a short rest, I'm not alone.

Obviously, it's been time, too, so I'm not raging. I am going to rage as well. Okay. So that's it for Elga? Yes. Okay. And so I will have raging. I am going to rage as well. Okay. That's it for Elga? Yes. Okay. And so I will have advantage on my next attack on this creature as well. Correct. Help me remember that, please. So Elga

is analyzing. Barney's up there. I assume Chip and Matide are kind of hanging back near where Elga was as well, right? Like you all are kind of near the door? Mm-hmm. Okay. As you all are standing there, a second one of these creatures drops from the ceiling above you near the party that's

at the door. Eesh. This room sucks. Let's see. Which of you is it going to target? One and two is Chip. Three and four is Elga. Five and six is Mateed. You don't want to touch her, Chip. Three. That's Elga. Uh-oh. Make me a dexterity saving throw, Elga.

Good thing you're aged. Nine. Well, could I... I have advantage on dex against effects that you can see while I'm not blinded, deafened, or incapacitated. So I have advantage on that? Yes. Okay.

Advantage. All right. The nine is better. I rolled a six for my second one. All right, the nine is better. I rolled a six for my second one. All right, this strange, almost semi-liquid creature lashes out at you and wraps itself around you. Uh-oh. Starting to constrict you. I don't like this at all.

You find it's very difficult to breathe. Oh, no. But Elga doesn't have to breathe. Don't I? I'm a vampire. I need to breathe. Yeah. I? I'm a vampire. I need to breathe. Yeah. I think Jon's probing for weakness.

Oh, I don't know. Like, I'm, you know, what's the vampire rules in our world? I think I need to breathe. Yeah. Okay. Do I take any damage or conditions? You'll take damage on your turn. Your only condition is restraint.

Barney, you're up. Then after Barney is Mateed, then Chip. How far away is the other snake that just... There's one right up on me, right? Right. There is one right up on you. The other one is back where the party is. We'll say 20 feet or so.

Well, I'm going to cast Channel Divinity. Okay. And I'll do Twilight Sanctionary. Send around me a 30-foot radius. It's a little dim light. Just around me for one minute. And it gives 1d6 plus five temporary hit points. Everyone in that group.

And just for reference, it's like channel divinity is not like a spell you cast. It's just an ability you have. You have various like twilight sanctuary is a channel divinity. Like it's just, yeah, yeah. It's my nitpicking.

Yeah. Does it count as a special action? It's, it's an action. It's an okay. Yeah. Do. Yeah. Does it count as an action or a bonus action? It's an action. It's an action. Do we roll or does he roll for everybody the same number? It says you, Grant, so I'm going to say he rolls since everyone the same number. Okay.

It's three plus five, so eight. Eight temporary hit points for everybody. Oh, no, no. It's whenever you end your turn. Oh. I'll count that for me, so that'll be eight temporary. So that's the end end your turn. Yeah. I'll count that for me. So that'll be eight temporary. So that's the end of your turn.

It's every time you end your turn. So it's like you can take advantage of it more than once. You can proc it. And then I'm using my little clock thing so it doesn't use up my channel divinity. Okay. And then, so I have telekinetic shove. It can telekinetically shove a target five feet toward or away can i cast that on the the little snake that's choking elga yeah you could but since

it's restraining her and grappled with her i would say that it would move elga as well like it would shove both of them it's just barney witnessing someone being strangled by a snake and just like, I'll push him. I'll push him and I'll fix him. I'll call him a nerd and I'll take a shot in their face. Well, then I don't think that's going to be helpful. I'll shove the one that's in front of me. Okay, let's go with that one.

They always say that. Shove the one you're with. Shove the one you're with. And you want to try to just shove it away from you. Mm-hmm. All right. That's a 12 plus 3, 15. It narrowly fails. So you shove it back away from you.

Okay, and then I'll run back behind the one that's Alga to be ready to, I don't know, help next time. To do something. And then everyone can be near my little glow. Okay. I love being in Barney's glow. You get your temp HP and it's Matit's turn after Matit is Chip. I'm really bothered when we're presented

with puzzles. That's clearly like some sort of puzzle kind of thing and I can't figure out what it is. Like I've been trying to think about the axe, the hammer and the shovel. There was that the hammer either there was nothing in there or Chip closed it fast enough,

but it didn't seem like Gus was waiting for him to delay. So I think there might have been nothing in there. But then something fell from the ceiling. That was the same thing that was in the shovel box. I don't like this. And also before the giant cube of gelatinous stuff, we saw three statues that were like reaching out, running and crouching. Oh, yeah.

I forgot. Remember we were trying to make friends with them? But I think that's just because I got frozen by the glob maybe. Plus, as you know, the dice, they are also cubes. Because like I obviously just want to like I'm in attack mode. We're

in initiative and I'll fight these snakes but I'm like should we be smarter than this? Is there like a smarter path that like there's a unlock the key kind of thing we could do? I'm just a barbarian. La la la la la. I don't know. Ask Elga.

No, Elga's being choked by a snake right now. A bit tied up literally. I'm trying to think is there anything I can do to investigate what's going on? I also have terrible investigation bonuses, so it'd be bad. I'm wasting so much time. I'll just do what I do best and attack these snakes. Why not? I'm just here to kick stuff and have fun.

Is there an attack against the one around Elga that would not attack Elga? Like if I were to do like an unarmed strike or something against that thing. You think that they are so entwined that any attack you do on one would affect the other. Okay, then I will do what? Some sort of strength check in order to try to pull the thing off of Elga?

Sure, why not? Sure, let's do it. A rolling strength check? Is to try to pull the thing off of Elga? Sure, why not? Sure. Let's do it. A rolling strength check? Is that what I'm doing? Yeah, make a strength check and then I'll make an opposed one here. That's a 13. I'm fascinated by these things too. They're like liquidy, sneaky things. I rolled a one. It was a 19, then

it like went over at the last second to a one. Yeah, you've never seen anything like this before, Barbara. They're like, they kind never seen anything like this before, Barbara. They're like, they kind of like flow like liquid, but they're solid and snake-like and they slither around. It's really, really bizarre. Would you call them solid snakes? No, they're more like liquid snakes.

You see it on the strength check against it. So I assume you grab it and try to pull it off? Yeah. Yeah, we'll say you grab it and manage to pry it off? Yeah. Yeah, we'll say you grab it and manage to pry it loose from Elga and toss it to the floor. Okay. Thank you, my mysterious neighbor, Matid.

That quote. I use flurry of blows. That was my action, yeah? Doing that? Yeah. Okay, then I use flurry of blows to do two unarmed strikes against this thing that I've just thrown to the ground. Okay.

And they are with my feet. My talons. It also, when I did my insight, or like, when I checked this thing, it's not as vulnerable to physical blows. Well, I can't do anything magical in attacks with my bonus actions. If with my actions, I could have. Unfortunately, all that I have left is bludgeoning.

All right, let's do that. Roll for attack. I rolled a 21. Ooh, that hits. And then I do nine points of damage. All right. Followed by something I'm going to re-roll with my inspiration dice because that was a one.

Son of a bird. Ten. Oh, that does not hit, unfortunately. Oh, son of a bird. But you did manage to do nine points of, or you rolled nine points of flurry of blows damage, right? Yeah, it was a very specific way of phrasing that, Gustavo. All right. Oh, your first fl very specific way of phrasing that, Gustavo. Alright.

Oh, your first Flurry of Blows connects with it, and it does seem to do some damage to the Liquid Snake in front of you. If I were to move, would it get an opportunity attack? I'm going to say yes, because you were in melee range to be able to hit it with your Flurry of Blows. I'm going to take the damage, and

I want to investigate. Can I, with my movement, would I be able to hit it with your flurry of blows. I'm going to take the damage. And I want to investigate. With my movement, would I be able to move to that effigy? Yeah, it's only 20 feet away. Okay, then I'm going to take the damage of whatever this little Metal Gear Solid character is going to do. Let's see if it even hits you. It lashes out, hitting AC 19, which I assume is a hit. Barely.

Really? I actually have pretty high AC. How high is your AC? 17. Oh. Monks get like AC bonuses. It lashes out doing six points of bludgeoning damage. Okay, I'll take that.

It's weird that they're like liquid snakes, but they're doing bludgeoning damage. Because they're just hitting us. They're just like slamming against us. Right. But yeah. Okay, yeah. I want to look at that. I want to look at that. I want to look at that effigy that Chip was at.

Okay, yeah. That's the one further to the south. Inside is a plasmoid creature bearing corroded armor and a shield. That was the one that was inside the hammer? Shovel. Shovel. Oh, he went to hammer. Barney. And he went to shovel. Correct. Chip.

Okay. So that's inside the effigy or that's on the effigy? It's inside. Inside the effigy is the plasmoid with the armor and the shield. You can make an investigation check. This will go so well. It will. 19.

19. Yeah. You just got to say that before every roll. Yeah. You notice that the shield bears an emblem of an orange diamond. Oh. Another. What does orange have to, like, do you guys remember orange in anything else?

I'm just wondering if there's significance there. Can we do a cheeky little, like, history check to see if we know what this, can anybody do a cheeky little. Is that going to be an action, though, like, if we're in combat? I'll say you can do it freely on your own turn if you want. So, Matit, if you want to make like a history check, sure. I think quickly. That's only a 12. You can't recall anything special about that color, but, I mean, you are aware that the orange diamond on this shield

does seem to very much match the orange diamond on the emblem of the door. Is it like a key? Like a big dorky key. Okay, well, that is the emblem of the door. Is it like a key? Like a big dorky key. Okay, well, that is the end of my turn. There is an orange diamond on this shield, and I am done doing things. All right. On this shield?

You get 10 temp HP. All right, Chip, it's your turn. Here, Chip Annie. Oh, I just remembered. When I opened that sarcophagus, that sarcophagus, there was a diamond shield. So I'm going to run over to that.

So how far away is that? And then how far away is the... Did you move away from it? I guess I didn't. I guess I had been there the entire time. Yeah, I don't think you moved. Because action commenced when Barney looked at the other guy.

So I might still be by it. So you're there. Okay. Mateed showed up and shoved you out of the way. He was like, look at this. So then I move the thing back, and I take the shield out. All right. And then I guess I'll run over to the one that's on the wall.

The door. The door. Yeah. And then I just try to shove it in. Smashing that shield against it. I know my shapes. I know try to shove it in. Smashing that shield against it. I know my shapes. I know this shape matches this shape. Very good, Chip.

Very good. You press the two matching shapes together, and you hear the door click and unlock, and it opens. It seems to unseal. They kissed. I saved the day. The snake guys, did they go away or are they still around? They're still there.

Algar, are they still there? I do see them. The bird is slimy gross. I don't know if you guys want to try to escape or if we want to try to kill these guys. But if the door is open, we can maybe slip out like a snake. Disengage. Yeah, I think an AC retreat would be wonderful. Okay.

I mean, they're not grappling you, right? Because Mateed ripped it off, so. Yeah, she was freed. Okay. Yeah. Yeah, I guess I like head out, but I have a hand crossbow, so I can shoot that at one of them

to cover the retreat, I suppose. Sure. That sounds fun. Sure. I'm going to roll for that. That cover the retreat, I suppose. Sure. That sounds fun. Sure. I'm going to roll for that. That is a seven. You shot Barney. You shot Barney.

If he rolled a one, we could talk about that. The bolt flies wide, clattering off the far wall. You know when, like, people in movies are bad at shooting guns, so they have, like, a hand in the air, and they don't really know what they're doing with their bodies, so they just go, Ugh! Alright. That was my way of getting everyone's attention.

I go, Bang! Everyone, we're leaving! Those crossbows that go bang? Yeah, when I shot the arrow, though, I went, Bang! Everyone, we're leaving! And then I leave. Alright, I assume that's the plan.

Everyone's gonna beat a hasty retreat out of here? Yeah, that's what Mateed will do. Yeah. Yeah, we'll say that you all are able to successfully navigate your way out of there. Run back down the corridor, turn a corner, and it dawns on you, you've reached the end of the

labyrinth. We did! Everyone get your temp HP. Also, I'm going to roll for everyone get temp HP. Well, who hasn't gotten it? Well, but before you do that, Barney, I do want to say, reaching the end of the labyrinth gives everyone either an inspiration die or five temporary hit points.

So temporary hit points don't stack. So if you give them the temp hit points, that'll affect their decision for what they get. Yeah, my temp HP will be better. I have an inspiration. What's your temp HP? He'll roll it. I'll have to roll for it, but it's plus five plus six. Roll. I'm taking

the inspo die. All right. I already got an inspo die that I forgot about. I just rolled. So someone gets a ten temp HP. I'm good on temp HP. I took inspo die. I'll take the ten. All right. Barbie gets a 10 Temp HP. I'm good on Temp HP I took Inspo. I'll take the 10 Alright, Barbara gets a 10 Woohoo! Who is Baba? Elga! Wait, Blaine

Did you already get some? I'll take your Temp HP. Oh, 11! I'll take it! That overrides the 1 HP Temp I already had And you already got some, right? I'm giving some to Exile Yeah. They only got six.

All right. That's fine. They have plot armor. Before you is an immense archway hewn of stone with a faint mark on the center. On either side of the archway are gemstone statues of plasmoid creatures, a jasper one holding a war pick and a garnet one holding a war hammer. But the way through the archway is blocked by a large mound of rocks like a cave-in.

Okay. What is this three threes of the three statues and then the three effigies and these three dudes? Aren't there only two here? There's only two here. Oh, there's only two. There's one with a war pick and one with a war hammer. Correct. And they're

like giant statues, right? Or are they just normal size? I don't know if I'd say giant. They're big. And it's just a cave-in? Yeah, it just seems like there's a large mound of rocks, like a cave-in blocking the archway. A citizen might be trapped under that rubble.

Let's help. Do the things that they're holding, could we take out the war pick from its hand? I was going to ask that, but it seemed like it was large. They're big. It's all part of the statue. It's like carved into the same. So it's not like a statue holding a thing you could take out.

Correct. Okay. I'm just going to start moving rocks. Sure. Mateed will help as well. Oh, and I do my thing that gives me advantage on the next fight. Oh, gotcha. Good call.

If you want to start moving out rocks, you can make a strength check. Okay. I'm also going to help as well. Now lift with your legs, not with your back. Nine. I forget. I could be imagining this or I could be misremembering from our other campaign. When we first got down here to under Globula, did one of you find like digging tools?

I think I had a pickaxe. Yeah. I thought Elga did. So if you want to use that, that would also help you. Would that give me like advantage on my strength or something? Or what would that do? It lowers the check you need to make that I'm checking against. You know, I'm looking in my inventory and I do have a neat flag.

Does that do anything for us? No, it does not. Okay. My strength check is a 21. So it's a 21 for Elga, 21 for Chip, and a nine for Mateed. Is that correct? And a 17 for Barney. Nice.

Barney's old man strength popping in. Yeah. You all begin digging out the rocks, and it's hard work, but you do make pretty good progress pretty quickly through here. Everyone make me a perception check. Oh, you got it, Chief. 14. 14.

Nine. Whoa, two of us rolled 14, two of us rolled nine. That's wild. Mateed and Chip, both of you got 14s. As you're digging, you find a third gemstone statue made of peridot hidden amongst the rocks, but this one's top half is in pieces. What's threes?

I knew it. What's peridot? Peridot. Peridot. Sorry, I said it wrong. I only know that word because of Steven Universe. Steven Universe. Heck yeah.

So yeah, after a lot of backbreaking work, you manage to clear the pathway and you pass through the archway and enter a circular crystalline grotto. From the ground to the ceiling, your eyes are filled by the scintillating light of gemstones ranging from pebbles of deep blue azurite to melon-sized deposits of fiery yellow sapphire. Dividing the center of the grotto is a 30-foot crumbling chasm flanked by pools of turquoise liquid.

Hexel looks around, seemingly amazed. Have you ever seen so many gemstones? And so many colors? Green gems and blue gems? I can't believe these gems have just been sitting here underground all this time. Have I been saying gems wrong my entire life?

Gems! Are those different than gems? Holy mother of maw! Look at that! Pegsel points across the chasm and you spot the largest deposit of diamond ore you've ever seen in your lives and afterlives. It's easily bigger than a covered wagon and glitters with a thousand facets. Ding!

Chip, something's chiming in your bum bag of holding. Oh, uh, hold on, I just got a beep from my beeper. You received mail in your cartas de allá. Oh, that's the letter thing. Yeah, you open the letter but stare in confusion for a second. All it says is, I'm amongst the dead now. Oh. Oh, dear.

I'm amongst the dead now? Do I recognize the handwriting? We'll have to find out in the next episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon. That's the most genuine, like, how dare you? No. Thanks for listening, everyone. I had a lot of fun. It's always fun when we do these mazes.

I like doing these. I like them a lot, yeah. And I don't know if y'all have heard or not, but Stinky Dragon Adventures, our adaptation of the Infinite Campaign, is out, right? Yes, it's out at this point, at least the first episode is,

at ruchete.com. We're super proud of it. We want you to see it. But also, Micah made a banger of a theme song. I've been singing it non-stop. When we were doing rough cuts on set, people were like, they're like humming it.

It was great. I haven't heard it yet. I'm excited. I'm excited to get your live reaction. All right, everyone. Prepare your ear holes. Here it is. Hyporc shoots bones. Action surge. Gum gum likes her. Magic boy. It's time for sneaky dragon adventures. Woo. That's a banger. It's like an 80s cartoon theme song.

It's so good. So good. It's very good. Well done, Micah. The claps are good. Maybe the best instrument on the entire song. Absolutely. Exciting.

Well, I'm excited to see those episodes. Yeah, that's awesome. Go check it out. It really helps us also just, you know, just check out the website, support us, and we appreciate it. StinkyDragonPod.com. Thank you very much. Hi, I'm GumGum, and I'm a wizard, but I'm also an actor.

And recently, the people at Rooster Teeth were like, wow, we really like your adventures. We want to make it into a TV show. And I said, okay, neat. And so they did. And it's called Stinky Dragon Adventures. And it's a brand new show, eight episodes, an adaptation of our real life adventures.

So if you want to see it, it's the best thing ever. You go to stinkydragonpod.com and check out all of our brand new adventures. So if you want to see it, it's the best thing ever. You go to stinkydragonpod.com and check out all of our brand new adventures. There's familiar faces and names and brand new stories too. I really like it. And if you don't know who I am, go check out the Infinite Campaign. It's us talking

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This episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon was produced by Ben Ernst, written, edited, and composed by Micah Reisinger with additional editing work by David Sonier. This week's arrow question was submitted by Micah Reisinger. Hey editing work by David Sonnier. This week's Arrow question was submitted by Micah Reisinger. Hey, I know that guy. And here's a quick shout out to folks who are interacting with us on social media recently.

Here's some NPCs named after them in this episode. Hexel, the blob's offspring, named after AtEggs, the world destroyer on Instagram. Go follow us at StinkyDragonPod or on Twitter, Instagram, TikTok, Facebook, and YouTube. Interact with the community over on our subreddit at r slash StinkyDragonPod. We're on Twitter, Instagram, TikTok, Facebook, and YouTube. Interact with the community over on our subreddit at r slash StinkyDragonPodcast or on the Roost Teeth Discord.

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what's in the box? It's a Taco Bell reference. Think outside the box. David Fincher was a huge fan of Taco Bell. Think outside the box. What's in the box? I want to see that cut of The End of Seven. That's a product crossover.

I didn't know I wanted it. Now I need it. What did Chihuahua do and it's shivering? It was burritos and tacos the whole time.