Tales from the Stinky Dragon - Infinight Infirms Pt. 2

Episode Date: October 31, 2023

The Infinights traverse the mirror world and fight some very familiar enemies? Check out the first campaign over on stinkydragonpod.com or support us over at stinkydragonpod.com/first! Join us on Discord: https://discord.gg/roosterteeth Check out our merch and follow us on Twitter, Instagram, TikTok and more: https://linktr.ee/TalesFromTheStinkyDragon Go to http://shopify.com/dragon to sign up for a $1/month trial period. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hey everyone, it's your friendly neighborhood Dungeon Master here. Just want to give you a quick heads up. Due to some thematic elements in this episode, we used some unusual audio filtering. So I want to give you a heads up about that. Can't spoil too much because I don't want to spoil what's happening in the episode. But if you hear audio that you think sounds a little unusual, it has to do with the setting and things going on in the story. Just a little bit of a FYI.

Good day to all you death tyrants. Hover on into the stinky dragon. Make way for our latest mouth-watering mocktail, Tomorrow's Another Ray. It's a mixture of slowing soda, cone of negative cucumber energy, yuck, paralyzing lime juice topped with a sleepy syrup. You just made Blaine yawn.

You just made Blaine yawn. Guys, I'm an empath. Previously, our adventurers were invited to a birthday bash for our favorite Whizberry and Gum Gum. Little Jimmy hosted the Galandoric gathering at his castle on Isla de Venganza. But after blowing out the birthday candles, Little Jimmy was kidnapped by mysterious malefactors and the party plunged into a funhouse mirror to find their friend grab a guzzler let's get back to this gassy goss

what's a death tyrant tyrant who causes death no pause ultimate confidence it's uh a death tyrant is like a D&D enemy. That's kind of like, you could say it's like a beholder, but if the beholder was just a skull. Yes. Oh, those are in Doom. Oh, yeah. They're kind of like the monsters in Doom.

Yeah. Those are cute. But it's got like, its attacks are rays. That's why it was a lot of tomorrow's another ray. Get it? I don't understand. Layered humor. Thank you, Mike.

Oh, a pun. The levels of jokes, the levels of D&D references. You're familiar with puns, right, Barbara? Just a little bit, yeah. But there haven't been very many in this show, so I don't know. It just comes out of a, it's very surprising whenever there is one. Yeah. No puns and no dated pop culture references.

Never. I made 10 puns one time and like no one understood them. So it was like no pun intended. Nah. All right. Thanks for listening, everybody. We'll be back. I can kick people from the Discord call, right?

I can do this. I think. Before we get started diving back into this tale, let's remind everyone who you are and what character you play, please. I'm Barbara Dunkelman. Barbara was in the middle of a food bite. Oh, I wasn't looking. I'm sorry. She did that like she's trying to swallow a cracker without any liquid.

Hello, everyone. I'm Barbara Dunkelman and I don't play Mud Bramble Cracker. But I do play Bartholomew Finn, the halfling bard, level 16. Yeah, little bargy boy. Yeah, in this campaign, but Elgo Von Brath in our Groteth campaign. What? You'll have to check out if you haven't yet. Yeah. I'm Blaine Gibson.

I play Kyborg the Mighty. He's a wood elf fighter at the 16th level. I'm surprised that none of us leveled up since our previous adventure you know i mean like you stopped uh adventuring yeah that's not true cowboy never stops adventuring from a metagame perspective we didn't want you guys to have to look at and learn a bunch of new abilities yeah that's fair that's fair maybe we can dive into that a little more uh in second wind but uh you said, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, wood elf, I thought you were going to say, whoa, whoa, whoa, wizard.

And I thought, does he know who he's playing? No, he doesn't. He reads it every single time. Where am I? Who am I? Where's my wife? Just kiss something. I'm Chris Damaris, and I play Gum Gum.

Gum Gum. The half-orc barbarian, level 15 barbarian, level 1 sorcerer. Mighty sorcerer. Yes. I am John Reissner, and I play Mud Brumblecrack, who is a fear bug druid, and whose companion is named Gumbo. He's a badger. We have never established what level badger Gumbo is.

He's actually level 30. Wow. He's been holding back this entire time. Level 30 badger. He's like Goku. Eventually, he's going to just take off that level 30 badger he's like he's like goku eventually he's gonna just take off that little piece of armor that i made for him which actually like weighs like a ton he'll take it off and he's gonna be like faster than light cool it is funny when we're recording uh for stinky dragon adventure and like we have like a lot of the audio recorded

but sometimes like the timing is not quite what we want so like chris or blaine will do the voices of each character to get the actual timing of the voice and so like they'll imitate our various characters and it's always funny trying to hear them do the the scottish accent it's bad every time and i love it but it's the funniest when they try to do bark because they just go no problem that's what i baked into, ah, yeah. It's no problem. That's what I baked into these voices. If you make them hard enough, I can't be replaced easily. Very true. We'd have to hire a real Scotsman.

Where are you going to find one of those? Where are you going to find one of those? That's from the magical land of Scotland. You pass through the mirror and feel the glass envelop you like a thick swirling soup of prismatic colors. Fragments of reflection spiral past you with faces and vistas, many of them you've never seen. Finally, you tumble onto the floor, or is it the ceiling? You appear to be in a square room purely made of glass, but perhaps I should be clearer. It's not a cubed room, it's specifically a square.

You can look side to side and up and down, but depth is no more. What? Everyone and everything is now two-dimensional just like my acting what's the aspect ratio are we talking like a tube tv one one oh no are we like pixelated are we like like are we a game boy are we now like a jrpg like like like a Nintendo, like Final Fantasy or Pokemon or something? Are we Tamagotchis? Wow. I poop, I poop, attack poop. Feed me, feed me.

Keep sleeping. Sleep. Well, now I want like a pixel art of our characters. Yeah. Me too. You look around and there appear to be four doors made of crystal, one on each wall, right, left, top, and bottom. Above each door is a silver-framed mosaic crafted with stained glass,

but each door mosaic are rotated 90 degrees from the last. So it's top-down like original Zelda. I was going to say, we're like in a Zelda temple with doors. So are any of the paintings the right way up then? Since they do rotate on each one, which one's the right way up? Relative to the door, they're all right way. Actually, relative to the doors, they are right way up. Wait, how are we seeing?

Oh, I see what you mean. How are we seeing paintings? So, like, since this is a two-dimensional space, is it like Pokemon? It's spreading. You've been around Chris too much. Where it looks like there's a crease where the wall is and then the door is laying flat to kind of...

I think we're top-down. I think we're top-down view. Just to clarify, it's not exactly top-down. Top-down is the the way when you look at those old games like zelda that's a 3d world that you're looking top down on like yeah this there is no depth to look down on this is totally flat two-dimensional so it's like a side view is the better way to think about it i'm drawing it on a paper plate I have in front of me. But the paintings over the door, paintings?

Mosaics? Mosaics. So would it be like this, where it's like, you know? Very similar. But yeah, the doors are... Yes, but the doors are in the square. The way you drew it,

the doors are out of the square. Okay, okay, okay. Okay, okay. Did you just draw that on a plate? Barbara drew a square. What are you... Yeah, it's a plate. It's like a paper plate. This is what you just draw that on a plate? Barbara drew a square. What are you? Yeah. It's a plate.

It's like a paper plate. This is what I had my lunch on. So there is only length and height, no depth. Gotcha. So that means you yourselves and all your belongings are now flat, just as well as like the doors, the mosaic. There is no depth. So that's why the top top down idea of looking at stuff doesn't quite work what are the mosaics of exactly like what's on them so we're asking same thing same brain so i can tie that into the question barbara asked earlier i

think it was barbara who asked it from your perspective the there is there is one that is the correct, well, I don't even want to say correct. There is one that is the same orientation as you. This one appears to be a mosaic of a clock surrounded by rainy skies. A clock surrounded by rainy skies. Yes, and the mosaic is above a door made of crystal with a handle. And the other mosaics are not in the same orientation as us, but

can we see what they are? From where you are, yes. I'll say yes. You can see them. Do you want to know what they are? Yeah, I'd love to know all of them. To the right would be a ship sailing on an ocean. Above you, well, not above, but like...

Top. Yeah, top would be a thick forest of trees and then to the left would be a castle and do they all have crystal doors uh yeah all the doors appear to be the same they're all uh made of crystal with a handle what time is it on the clock in the clouds and to be clear foggy it's like you said rainy clouds but it's like foggy cloudy kind of like overcast kind of deal the time on it currently reads 11 p.m okay if i may i think that these doors relate to our backgrounds mud was born as a bramble crack and royalty castle i was born in the everwinter woods thick forest bart had a background as a pirate ship sailing on an ocean and gum gum rainy clucking clouds and fog well gum gum was like you were you were preserved in time

because your mom yeah yeah like no that's great weirdly and remember we need to look within so i think we need to each go to our respective doors hold on hold on hold on just want to just rewind back chris said yeah because gum gum time weirdly that's what chris just said okay and i stand by that dude it didn't even register that he said that thing because i just i speak chris yeah me neither i totally missed that it just totally was like okay yeah got it that's why i fear that's why i point these things out because I fear it is just becoming normalized. And for some reason, that concerns me. Maybe it shouldn't.

Especially with, like, us being on set for, like, hours and hours a day. We've developed a shorthand. If you just leave us in that room for a year, we're going to come out with a different language. Just sounds. What do you speak now? We speak puppet. We speak Chris and puppet. I got Chris on my Duolingo.

I want to go to the thick forest of trees on the top. How are you going to get there? I go through the door of the thick forest of trees. Hold on. How are you going to get there? Oh, how am I going to get there? Yeah. I walk.

I use my legs. From your perspective, it's like above you. I don't get this too, Ethan. The clock surrounded by foggy, clouded skies is bottom. Below us. So, correct. Okay. So, it is technically in a two-dimensional space is a vertical trajectory to that door.

To the forest one. Yes. It's like if you were trying to get, if there was a mosaic and a door on your ceiling right now, how would you get up there? I'd jump real hard onto the doorknob. Well, are we on any sort of platform or anything like that? I think we're on the bottom. Are we? Yeah, you're on like the floor.

All the wall. This, from another perspective, this could be a wall because the wall looks like the floor. It all looks the same. Could you remind me which was on the left and which was on the right? Left was castle. Right was ships sailing on the ocean. Correct.

Oh, hey, Kyborg. Huh? What would happen if you were to just run straight at the wall to our left and then just keep running up the wall since we're in a two-dimensional space? We're about to find out. Let's do this. And I do exactly what Mud just said. The left wall, so that's the wall with the castle.

Yep. Do you have to hop over the castle door? It's a door jutting out from the wall. Correct. As per Barbara's diagram. Correct. And Ky Barbara's diagram. Correct. And Kyborg was running. So from where you are, you know, you're kind of near the door with the clock over it.

That wall is about 15 feet away. So do you take, like, you start from where you are, get 15 feet worth of speed, and then try to run and then transition from your floor to that wall? Yep. I don't know what this is so i'm gonna say yes i roll for that okay yeah go ahead and roll let's do first of all let's do athletics for the running that should be like super easy for you all right super easy yes that was a one that was a critical fail listen i was working out with my wife this morning

we went on an extra long power walk you have an inspiration dice don't forget you all also have those uh age-related disadvantages that we talked about in the previous episode all right i used my inspiration die to do i kind of want to see what would happen with that one i keep my inspiration die and i fold my arms content with my work. All right. You're going to go with that? Yeah. You're kind of trying to gauge, like, how you're going to transition from here to the other one. Like, it's a 90-degree switch.

How's their footing going to go? What's about your center of gravity? And you just, when the time comes, you just fail to execute and run full force into the wall. Taking two points of damage. I'm resistant to pain. I'm going to take half that. Sorry, go ahead. Do we like weigh the same amount in this area?

Like is everything other than the fact that we're like 2D instead of 3D? Oh, so like does your 2D body weigh the same amount as your 3D body? It feels the same to you. Okay. Should I just look through the door? It feels the same to you. Okay. Should I just look through the door in the bottom? Just go down.

Yeah. Can I gum-gum stick his head into the bottom door? The rainy clouds. Yeah. Yeah, the door is closed. I assume you open it. Oh, yes. I open the door.

You open the door, and you say you stick your head in, or do you walk in, or you just open it? I stick my head in, open it, and, like, you know, in or do you walk in or you just open it? Yeah, I stick my head in. Open it and like, you know, look as best I can in this two-dimensional world. Does Gum-Gum need to push up to enter the door? You stick your head in and you see a wet cobblestone courtyard shrouded in shadows. With three dimensions or two? Two.

There's cobblestones and shadows. I'm in a cool. I guess I'll go in. Okay. Gum-Gum steps in through the door. I'll follow. I'll come too. Yeah, I'll go.

Yeah, let's not split the party with that. All right. You all step onto a wet cobblestone courtyard shrouded in shadows, and you hear a gong. A familiar bell chimes high in a tower to your right, piercing a gloomy gray sky. And crack! A flash of lightning

illuminates the courtyard and four figures appear lurking beneath the tower one of them has a large white cape person hanging over their shoulders you hear a voice asking do you remember you were so careless lives were destroyed and now you obey the four figures turn for the tower and walk in. Is this... The white cape is the one I think that's little Jimmy. Is this Airbloom? Erbloom? Yeah, it looks like Erbloom to you.

The clocks with the clouds would make sense. That was a foggy... It seems like you're back in a familiar setting. It seems almost exactly like how you remember it, the night like you're back in a familiar setting. It seems like almost exactly like how you remember it, the night after you went back in time. So we went down into this place. Which direction is the tower?

Well, just to lay it out. So from where you are, kind of to your right, that's where you see the clock tower. Okay. And then nothing to our left or down? No. Can I run to the people that slunked away? Yeah, I'll tell you what, Gum-Gum,

go ahead and make me a perception check as well. I feel like I should have re-listened to our whole first campaign before doing this. All of the episodes. Because I'm just like, how did we get out of this? How do we fix this? I forget. My dumb memory is still helping out. As you begin running, something catches your eye, Gum Gum. Partway between you and the clock tower,

you spy a wooden planter with three purple-petaled flowers. Uh-oh. Oh, I know these flowers. They make you do everything again, flowers. That's their Latin name. Yeah. They're not amnesia flowers, are they? Yeah, that's what I assumed.

No, I don't think so Amnesias were different Amnesias were the slime people That's right Correct I want to say they were like Remember-alls or something Or like

Nope, that's a Harry Potter thing No, time They're time They make you go back in time Time flowers Yeah, yeah, yeah Just for fun Gum-Gum goes and picks one up

And now you will pay. The four figures turn for the tower and walk in. Gum-Gum runs. You're back with the... Gum-Gum runs past, goes to the flowers. This time, casts Mage Hand, which he's got, and picks up a flower. Okay, yeah.

You're holding one of the Deja Violets in your Mage Hand. Deja Violets. I was looking for it. I was scrolling through my old notes. Now what? Are the figures still there? Can I throw the flower at them? No, they're gone.

They walked in. I have a flower. I don't have mage hand or anything like that, but I think you nerds do. I think Gum Gum can just move the flower out of the way and we can go past it to the tower. That will work. He can just throw a path, I guess, for all of us.

I'll do that. Is there a way I can put the flowers in a bag or something? Yeah. You remember that's what you did previously. I didn't do that, but that's what Bart did. That's what the party did previously. No, that's what Barty did. Old Barty boy.

So I guess I'll put the three flowers in a bag. I can do magic. Let's go. Beyond the planter, you see the tall clock tower with a door at its base. Okay, so if memory serves, this tower door was locked, I think, and we had to climb up

the wall. Yeah, you turned into a spider and you pooped everywhere. Can I perceive if there's poop on the ground? Make an investigation check. Okay, investigation check. I'm the peaton. Am I right? That's a zero.

You failed to find any poop. But while you're at it, make me a wisdom check, Kyborg. All right. My strongest roll. wow you remember spider gum gum happened at the escalon yeah that wasn't here that was at the pyramid this was this was spider mud yes going up i always get you which i think was the inspiration for spider gum gum do we see any Spider Mud poop? Spider Mud knows how to hold his duties.

We shouldn't go in the door. Mud goes and checks on the door. The door appears to be unlocked. Mud goes in. Let's go in. Let's go wrong. Is there anything above the door? The clock tower?

A clock. What time is it on the clock tower? 11 p.m. 11 p.m. All right, and then... That's the same time that was on the clock on the picture on the door. Oh, my God, it all makes sense now. Wow, it's almost like it's reading the time from inside. Okay.

Everyone goes in the door? Yeah. You walk through the door at the base of the clock tower, and it closes behind you, and you reappear inside the square room you were previously in. And it appears like you're walking out of that door and closing it, and now you're on the other side of that door, still on the floor. So do we have access to one of the other doors now?

It's a great game door on the floor. Now that you've walked through that door, the second mosaic depicting a ship appears to light up with color. That is the next door mosaic to your right. To the right. And what happens if we try to walk along the floor and then jump to get to the other wall? Do we stay kind of level or is it like completely vertical? Like we have to scale it almost. How do you try to do that? Do you like try to jump and reorient yourself so your feet are moved like talk me through that i kind of imagine it like we're in like a zero gravity situation where there's no real up or down it's this what we're gonna do we're gonna do exactly

what joseph gordon levitt did at inception and we're just gonna walk and just and just make our way through this as though we're gonna get to the corner and just hit the wall i think the mission is we go through the door we don't do dumb puzzle opens up next door we do dumb puzzle rinse and repeat baby let's go through that ship door i i'll paint this this picture is easy simple puzzles going mud walks to that wall and then just puts one foot up flat up against the wall. So he's got one foot down and one foot to the right. And Bart supports his back.

I'll bite you, Mud. Don't worry. Go ahead. Bart's always got your back. Yeah, I got your full weight, buddy. Doesn't matter. That mud is like three times his size. No, trash ball. Do it. Come on. Bart is a full weight, buddy. Doesn't matter. That mud is like three times his size. No, trust fall. Do it.

Come on. All right. Bart is a stout halfling. Okay, let's test it. It's going to be a flat halfling in a second. Well, it already is. There you go. I take my foot on the downward place and try to put my foot to the right.

So both feet are to the right. Yeah, make an acrobatics check while Bart makes an athletics check. So Mutt's trying to be nimble and get onto the other wall while Bart's using brute strength to try to support Mutt. I hate to remind you, but I think I have disadvantage on athletics checks. Oh, that's correct. Okay. You're bad back.

This isn't going to work out. A 14. Nine. That's still really good. Your bad back. This isn't going to work out. 14. Nine. That's still really good. I have a plus 10 on my athletics. I forgot Bart was so athletic. Athletic boy. Nine from Mud, 14 from Bart.

Yeah, Mud, you try to shift your weight, but something about it is just breaking your brain, trying to move your perspective from one wall to another, and you just fall down. Oh, you would fall down, but Bart manages to prop you up and get you back on the floor. Okay.

What's to stop us just from trying it again? I have a question. How high up, like, if we were on the ground where the door just, we just came out of, how high up is the next door? About 15 feet. 15 feet. Yeah.

I feel like we could probably just, like... Screw it. Mud turns into a spider. I'm tired of being mud. I'm going to be a spider now. And I'm Spider Mud. Spider Mud, Spider Mud, does whatever a Spider Mud does. I want to get to the next door.

So I climb up and I shoot a web down to give them something to hold on to, to make their checks to follow me easier. You just make a way. You don't actually shoot them and follow me easier. You just make a way. You don't actually shoot them and pull them up. You just shoot a web so they can climb. They can pull their own butts up. What they can do is they can basically be like Adam West in the old Batman show and just basically be pulling themselves up.

Right, just turn the camera. Yeah. As a spider, you're able to easily adhere to the wall, climb up to the next door which is 15 feet above you and shoot a web back down for all of your your friends not your friends your party members to follow you that's their friends that's fine are they okay i don't want to speak for you yeah we're all best friends right now we're friends we're friends best friends there is a life one of my best friends is in this room. I will say that.

Gumbo? Who's going to be here? Are we going to have to roll off? All right. I follow the spider web up, and then I go to the door. All right. Is he able to do that? Yeah.

Gum does as well. So does Bart. Yeah. You just got to climb a little bit, but, you know, it's like riding a bike. Y'all never forgot how great it was to have Spider with. Yeah, to help you out. So y'all are standing at the door, and I assume you open it up. Yeah. I let Bart go through.

Bart shoves his way through. It's my door. My door. You step onto the stern of a pirate ship in mid-battle. It seems to be anchored just offshore of an island where cannons are. Pow, pow, pow. Everyone make a dexterity saving throw. Oh. 19. That's a six. It seems to be anchored just offshore of an island where cannons are. Pow! Pow! Pow! Everyone make a dexterity saving throw. Oh. 19.

That's a 6. 21. 15. I feel like as a spider I should have advantage. As a spider? Maybe it's been a minute. You've... Over the past 82 years you've experienced many more animals and transformed into many different animals. It's been a little while since you've been a spider, so maybe it's just taking a minute to come back to you. But maybe that's the reason you're caught off guard

as a cannonball flies by and hits you, Mud, doing 19 points of bludgeoning damage. Good lord. That would have taken us out in level one. Yeah. It was a 2d10. You got maybe the worst, almost the worst roll possible there. Good thing I'm a spider. You all seem to find yourself

amidst a battle between several different pirates on a ship that's anchored offshore from a small island with a skull-shaped cave. Hey, do you guys think that this is the naval battle we were supposed to have? I don't know what you're talking about. Do we recognize any of the pirates?

Make a perception check for me, Bart. Perceiving. 17. Your years of pirating paid off. Yo ho. Oh yeah, it's like a second home for you, Bart. You realize that you're aboard a ship called the Howling Shark. You've heard of this ship before. And as you look around on the shores of the island nearby, you see a rail-thin halfling standing there fighting a bunch of other creatures. And as you're looking in that direction, you turn towards the bow of the ship

and see a brutish half-orc barbarian tearing through pirates and he locks eyes with you and charges straight at you. Everyone roll initiative. Wow. Oh. He's like you. Oh no. 21. 21. 15.

22. I think I also have a thing that gives me advantage on initiative. I think 22 also. I mean, gives me advantage on initiative. I think 22 also. I mean, I guess depending on the enemies, but you have... Yeah, I want to make sure I'm out of this one of these guys. Let me roll them right now. I'm going to look for this thing.

Oh, my gosh. Six and one. Great. Gum Gum or Mud, which one of you has the highest dexterity? Probably Gum Gum. 15. Mine's 14. Oh, okay. Me. You are up first kyborg you're on

the stern of this pirate ship as this battle is going on that half orc seems to be running at you from the bow and then beyond that a little further is that island with the skull shaped okay so that half orcs running at me right now yeah it, it's running towards the stern of the ship, towards all of you. I'll tell you what. Since that half-orc saw you guys as charged first, I'm actually going to skip ahead and give it a surprise round on you guys.

How dare. What the heck? Yeah, since it locked eyes with you, Bart, yeah, it's going to go ahead and come at you and make an attack. There's a plesiosaurus when you need one. Am I right, everyone? It pulls out an axe and swings it at you, Bart.

Whoa. Hey, whoa, hey, whoa. Hey, no need for violence. Hitting AC 22. Yeah. Doing 27 points of slashing damage. Ooh. That's a good hit.

That's tough. That smarts. It smarts my little 2D body. 2D body? The axe really smarts as it hits you. It appears to be made entirely out of thorns. It's really scratchy and pokey and ouchy. Ouchy, ouchy.

Poking all these holes in me. The half-orc shifts the axe into one arm, freeing up its other arm, and it reaches out and tries to grapple you, Bart. Make a strength check. Come on, Bart. The strongest of our party. The 11.

Look at him go. Look at him go. I'm all cut up, okay? I'm weak. The half-orc grabs you, puts you in a headlock, and pulls you in tight to its chest. Are you going to give me a noogie? It would be, you would be in prime position to receive a noogie

if its hand wasn't otherwise occupied with this thorny axe. Don't use your axe for that. Kyborg, it's your turn. Okay. He's not using Bart as, like, cover, is he? No, but Bart, because of the grapple, Bart is right up against his body. Okay.

I say, oh, my God, you have something on your face, and I point at his face, and then my wrist clicks down revealing my hand Cannon in the head it's not a cold shot but you know what I mean yeah yeah yeah no no it's cool 17 plus 5 22. nice that hits all right so then it's 46 bludgeoning damage and 46 fire damage so So we roll. One, two, three, four. Here's bludgeoning.

That's a 16. And one, two, three, four. Here's fire. A little spice. 18. Combined total of 34. Nice. Yeah.

The half-orc howls in pain, looking at you with bloodlust in its eyes. I howl with laughter. Ha ha. You should have seen your face before I shot it. Ha ha ha. We all miss Kaibark. Okay, I'll joke this out. I'm going to shoot you with a bow and arrow now, and then I pull out the longbow of crystallina and I shoot him

again because I have two actions. Yeah? Yeah, go for it. Cool. Here we go. 16. That does not hit. Inspiration? Is that cool? That's up to you. Yeah. Lucky feet! I get my lucky feet. Here we go. Rolling it again. And that's a

26. That barely hits. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. Way to go, Bart. Hey, I give a thumbs up to Bart before I shoot this guy in the face. Here we go. 15. 15. 15 points

of damage. Okay. The half-orc is still standing at this point now starting to wave Bart around kind of like a ragdoll. Oh, okay. When you make a ranged attack roll at this weapon against your sworn enemy, you have advantage on the roll in addition to your target gains no defense from cover until you suffer. Attack hits your sworn enemy takes an extra 46 cold damage, so have advantage on the roll. In addition, your target gains no defense from cover. You suffer from attack hits.

You sworn enemy takes an extra 46 cold damage, so then I gotta roll the 46 cold damage now. Ooh. Obviously, um, Forever Winter. 1, 2, 3, 4. You have to say it. You have to say it. Forever Winter! Here's the

cold damage. That's 19. Ooh. Chili. Yeah, forget how much damage you guys used to be able to do. That's 19. Ooh, chilly. You forget how much damage you guys used to be able to do. Lots. Yeah. Yeah, now, first, the half-orc was on fire with fire damage, but luckily you iced him down with the nice, cool attack. He's evening out,

but he's taking a significant amount of damage, but he is still standing. That's what it's like to chew five gum. Action surge. Gonna do two more actions. I want to down this guy. I want him out of the... I want him to let go of my bark. I shoot the arrow again.

Help me. 24. Yeah, that hits. All right, here's the piercing damage. That's 11. All right. Here's the cold damage. That's 12.

Nice, nice, nice. Okay, 23. How's he looking now? Still standing. I mean take take a significant damage, but still I mean this is a this is a beefy enemy Dude, just just die already And I'm gonna shoot you I'm gonna have to shoot him again. I like our first attack Opportunity it's just it's just kyborg and he hasn't killed the guy. He's like why isn't he dead? opportunity it's just it's just kyborg and he hasn't killed the guy he's like why isn't he dead I turn you should be dead look how much damage I've done 29 29 hits all right here's the piercing all right here's the ice 15 so it's an

additional 26 points and why aren't you dead? The half-orc, you know, gets shot by your arrow, pulls the arrow out from its flesh, and spits a gob of blood on the deck and is still looking at you. Wow! I assume that's in character. Yeah, we shall!

All right! And then I just kind of frump down and walk away Hey there, it's Chip Haney or am I Blaine Gibson or am I kyborg the mighty or am I Sawyer the lawyer? Anyways, I just want to give you a quick heads up that stinky dragon adventures is coming out November 9th What stinky dragon adventures why it's a puppet show. That's, a puppet show. It's based off of the Infinite Campaign. It's got all your favorites, plus a bunch more. And it's a fun little puppet adventure.

And there's eight episodes of it. And you can watch it on StinkyDragonPod.com when it drops. And while you're at it, just check out the campaign. It's based off of the Infinite Campaign. And then while you're at that, why don't you check out our other new campaigns and one-shots and miniseries and much, much more. So I actually I challenge you audience to see if you can listen to all of Stinky Dragon before it comes out in early November. And if I crunch the numbers correctly, you just need to listen on it at double speed night and day for three weeks and you'll be good to go.

All right. I'll see you there. Hey, you listener, did you know the best way to support Tales from the Stinky Dragon is to support us through a first membership? You can directly support us. And on top of that, you get something. You get ad-free episodes. Yeah, it's only $5.99 a month, and you get access to all the Stinky Dragon stuff, including Second Win, our bonus show,

where we go deep dives into, like, the week's episode. You get, like, behind-the-DM information. You get insider knowledge from Micah, the world builder. It's great. If you want to find out more information, head over to stinkydragonpod.com slash first. Get more information and hey, sign up today. Do it.

Want to get your hands on some Stinky Dragon merch? Head over to store.roosterteeth.com. Check out Tales from the Stinky Dragon merch, like our grotesque player character apparel, durable gerbil mugs and shirts and much more. Again, store.roosterteeth.com. What's something that works so well it feels like magic? What comes to mind for me are things like air conditioning,

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Shopify.com slash dragon. Cool. That's my turn. Okay, Mud. Bart. Yeah? Do you still have your vest of Slow Fallen? Yes, I do.

I'm wearing it right now. Mud turns back into Mud and casts Reverse Gravity on a space that encapsulates Bart in the half-orc, but not us. Whoa. That sounds cool. Which reverses gravity in a 100-foot cylinder, and everyone in the area that is there when I cast it goes to the top of that 100-foot cylinder

and must deal with the fall damage. Okay, so it's a 50-foot radius, 100-foot high cylinder. Since we're in two dimensions, it looks like a weirdly shaped rectangle that is 50 feet wide and 100 feet tall, more or less. Yeah, and we're on a naval battle, so there is no ceiling. Yeah.

And we're also on a ship. The caveat is a creature can make a dexterity to grab onto a fixed object it can reach. Can this guy reach anything? So that's exactly what I was going to get into. The only thing that it could reach would be either reach anything so the that's exactly what i was going to get into the only thing that it could reach would be either the mast or the sails as they are reversed in gravity trying to grab onto anything i'm trying to measure out how big 50 feet is here give me one moment 50 feet i would say if my calculations are right is 50 feet oh

you're welcome i would give you an inspiration dive, but you already have one. I thought you were going to take it away. So 50 feet wide is about just under half the ship's length. So it's, you know, most of the ship is affected by this. 100 feet is just beyond the top of the main mast of this ship. Would the ship go upside down then? No, I don't think so, because he cast it, like, on the ground there, going up.

Yeah, like, they're up. Yeah, we're not going to deal with that. Yeah. What you could say is, like, the sails that are hanging from the mast are no longer, like, pulling down because of gravity. They're kind of pulling up instead. Okay, so what's the save on it?

18. Dex on this is plus 5, so I need a 13 or better. 4. Yay! Bye-bye! Whee! It just looks like he's being abducted by aliens.

Bart puts his hands out. Whee! Thank me. Bart, you go ahead and make a save as well, since you're in the area. Might as well. Oh, that's a 28. Dang.

So Bart grabs onto something. The enemy misses its saving throw, so it begins floating up. Bart manages to grab onto something, so I'm going to make a check to see if the creature loses its grip on Bart. Nine. Okay, yeah, so Bart, you grab onto something

as the half-orc begins floating into the air, losing its grip on you. I like to imagine that he's trying to hold onto me as he's being lifted and, like, is now holding onto my ankle, and I'm just kicking my foot as I'm holding onto something. I was like, get up. Get out of here. All right. Is there anything else you do, Mud?

No. Basically, he then falls. He goes up and then falls immediately? He goes upies, then he goes downies. Reach the top of the area when you cast a spell, and then they have to fall. At the end of the duration, affected objects fall back down. Or the end of my concentration.

I can choose to end it with end of concentration. Okay. So you stop your concentration once they head up there. All right. Kyborg toots to break Mud's concentration. Here, let me help with that. So that's a hundred foot fall. That is 35 points of falling damage.

Oh, my God. Yeah. It's got to be also like prone, right? Yeah, I'll say that the enemy falls and lands prone on the deck of the ship in front of you. All right, Mug. Woo! Talk about second wind. Hey.

I got to point out, what a great use of that spell, knowing that Bart had the Sylvester's Lotus in. That's like... That's so cool. That's a magnifique D&D plan right there. Thank you. It's also good because I have high dexterity, too, so... Yeah.

Easy to save on that one. I'll end my turn there. I'll end my turn there. Thank you. It's also good because I have high dexterity too. Easy to save on that one. I'll end my turn there. Okay, that's it for Mud. Gum Gum, you're up after Gum Gum is barred. So this guy fell on the ground. Is he still rocking and rolling or are they dead? Make a perception check. Five.

Oh, they're dead. They're totally dead. Don't tell Chris that. He's going to play in roll and act like he's dead. Because in character, Gum-Gum thinks he's dead. All right, who else is out there and about? You see various pirates. The pirates don't seem concerned with you. And then, like I said, out on the island,

just beyond the ship, is a halfling standing at the island that has the giant skull-shaped cave. Do you recognize that halfling? Do I recognize that halfling? No, seems like a very rail-thin halfling. I don't remember there ever being. Yeah, super pale white dressed in rags.

Gum Gum, it's pretty messed up of you to assume that one halfling would recognize another halfling just because they're both halflings. Well, it's also on a ship. Bart has a background on a ship. Uh-huh. I'm going to go help that thing.

Can I jump to it? How far away is this? This is the arc where we learn that Gungam has face blindness. He actually can't, like, tell people apart from other people. He's like, is that Bart? Yeah. Bart's over there. Bye, Bart.

From where you are, you're still kind of at the back of the ship. To get off the ship and over there, it's probably about, let's say, 160, 170 feet from the back of the ship. So you'd have to cross to the front of the ship and then from the front of the ship, jump or try to find or make your way

from the ship to the island. I guess you could swim, too. So that's a long way. 100-something feet, huh? 150, 160, somewhere around there. Oh, wow. Okay. Okay. the ship to the island i guess you could swim too so that's a long way 100 something feet huh 150 160 somewhere on there oh wow okay okay all right okay i'm gonna rage and i roll my i roll my uh thing uh twice your wild magic yeah yeah he wants us to guess what he's doing. I speak Chris. I roll my thing. And I can pick whichever of the two I want. So that's a three and a six, which is... A flump.

Oh, the flump. Yeah, flump is back. Or I get protective lights of plus one AC. Man, I don't want either of those. I want the flump. We'll have no flump disparaging on this podcast. Okay, I'll choose the flump. Yes. The flump disparaging on this podcast. Okay, I'll choose the flump. Yes.

The flump. And then I'm going to run and can I, can I, my immovable rod, that takes me 40 feet. So I'll do that out to the ocean towards the halfling. So when you say out to the ocean, because you're at the back of the ship, you have to traverse the entire ship, and then there's a little bit of water, and then the island. Yeah, so I'll put my flump on top of that orc to guard its body. Then I got 40 feet. I'll run, jump as far as I can. I don't know if I can use my ring of jump and the immovable rod.

That's probably not. Well, the ring of jump would be, it just helps you. Like, it's not anything more than just jumping. The immovable rod, I believe, was an action. Okay. Well, then I'll do that. I'll use that as my action. I'll go 40 feet and then use my immovable rod to shoot me another 40 feet.

One second. I'm sorry. I guess I misremembered something. The ring of jumping is casting the jump spell. Yeah. So that's what the action is. I don't think he wants you to go to that island no no no he can just i just want to make sure i'm i'm i'm getting it correctly and then casting the spell the ring allows you to cast it as a bonus action at will so you can use the ring of jumping as a bonus action but you already used your bonus action to rage i shouldn I should have Raged.

Anyway, well, I'll still run. Get to Rage. Yeah, get some of that anger out. And then I'll use my immovable rod to shoot me 40 feet further than my walking speed, which is 40. Okay. So you can double move as well. No, you can't.

You can move and then act. No, you can't because then you're using the action. So 80 feet total. I guess I don't need to use the immovable rod. I'll just double move 80 feet. Yeah. And save that. And I'm on the...

Am I in the ocean? I think you're at the bow of the ship because we said that the 50 feet from the reverse gravity was just about half the ship's length and you're at the very back. So if you went 80, you're close to the bow of the ship. I didn't even get to the water. Mm-mm.

Dang. All right, and that's it. You know in old video games, whenever your internet connection would mess up and you'd see your, like, friend just walk into a wall, just walk off and then into a wall. Yeah. I'm coming.

That was Gum-Gum Bart. All right, so we got this half-orc on the ground prone. Don't know if he's dead. And then gum gum running off into the distance. Oh, my fluff exploded. I forgot to mention. Oh. It has 1d6 force damage unless they succeed at dexterity.

Sorry. Is there anyone else around us right now other than this guy? A couple of pirates who are engaged with each other who seem to be paying you no mind. Okay. Congratulations. Roll that d6 and I'll just keep track of it. Thank you. When's the wedding? What? The pirates, they're engaged with each other.

Ah. We make jokes here. Not funny. Comedy podcast. Can I see if the guy is still alive? Smart. Are you just going to see if the guy is still alive? Smart. Yeah, make a... Like, are you just going to look?

Are you going to approach? I'll just look. It depends on the check. If you're looking from a distance, it's perception. If you get up close, I would make you make a medicine check. From a distance, if you're just looking. Yeah, perception. I'm going to use my inspiration die.

I hope you love it. Oh, man. 16. The half-orc is face down on the deck and very clearly still breathing. Still breathing? Okay. I'm going to cast Cloud of Daggers around him. Oh, my God.

Ouch. Assuming that no one is close enough to get hit by this area of effect, but I don't think we're close enough. I think everyone's still pretty far away. Correct. You could position it in such a way, but just as a reminder, in a 2D world, there is no going around

a cloud of daggers if you put a cloud of daggers between yourself and the and gum gum at the bow of the ship right okay i'll do it i could always stop my concentration yeah in a 2d world we'll call it a square of daggers i'm gonna cast my square of daggers probably a circle if it's a cloud a circle of daggers i'm gonna cast that 13 points of damage okay i think if i remember right the way we had settled on it in the end was they take damage on their turn but i will denote the 13 and mark it i think it's whenever they yeah if you they start their turn but if they like go and come back into that area they get hit again correct if they start their turn or if they enter it on their turn, then there is damage taken.

So 13. Yep. I wrote it down. And I think I re-roll that every time someone moves into that spot. I don't think it's just a flat 13. Correct. Okay. So we're gonna use 13 for the start of their turn.

And then every time it procs in the future, you will roll that. And if it's a five foot cube, so what's five foot cube so what is that five foot square five foot square yeah yeah square dagger see i was right oh yeah you're right yeah you're right so five foot cube was five foot cube yeah it says the area is a five foot cube just for some reason in my mind that spell was always bigger i always thought it was a circle a big circle the range is 60 feet but the area is five foot cube okay so it's a five foot square all right i don't know why i did it at the second level instead of much higher considering oh you could have casted a higher level i just got i just did it at second level for some reason because i was i forgot how to play dnd catch your little

shower little shower light i already already rolled the damage and stuff. I'd feel bad for taking that. I wouldn't. You know me. Hey, live your best D&D life. Take up as much time as you want, Barbara. And then, how's Kyborg's and Mud's health right now? Are you guys full?

Yeah. I'm bueno. I was spider when I got hit so i'm good well i'm still going to cast bardic inspiration as a bonus action i'm going to give it to mud as a thank you thank you so you're going to gain an inspiration die for 1d12 wait what well you could add it to one ability check attack roll or saving throw okay yeah yeah yeah and you could add it after you see the roll before knowing the outcome yeah okay so i have bardic inspiration thank you all right thank bud all right is that it for bart yes okay the half orc enemy who had previously grabbed bart stands up into a square of daggers taking 13 points of damage and then steps away from it towards the

party so it is now on the side of the daggers with the bulk of the party, Gum-Gum being the one exception on the other side. And he's going to step forward and growl at Kyborg. Kyborg's the one who did a lot of damage to him. Yeah. I growl back. Does he pass by me?

Oh, right. You would be there. So then it would be Kyborg, Bart. Bart would be the closest one. So, oh, yeah, he's going to have to jump over Bart. Do I get an attack of opportunity? It's just going to go and attack Bart. Man!

Okay. Actually, what it does is it growls at Kyborg without needing to pass by Bart in a very scary manner. Make a wisdom saving throw, Kyborg. Oh, okay. And then while this is happening, Bart goes, I want to reroll that.

That was a nine. I'm using my inspiration die, and that's a 13. That growl and that enemy is still standing. This might be the scariest thing you've ever seen in your life. Thank goodness. From a metagame perspective,

you have the frightened condition now. Okay. Just you've never seen anyone take that much damage from you. You fired your cannonball right into its face, took an action search, and it's still getting up

and fighting. I'm impressed. And it swings its thorny axe around one more time at you, Bart. Mm-hmm. Hitting AC 23. Yeah, that hits.

Doing... My little 2D body. Ooh, 61 points of damage. 61 points of slashing damage. Do I take all that, huh? Mm-hmm. 61. Yep.

If you're raging, you can take half. Are you raging? Nope. Oh, Bart, you should have raged. I'm a ranged little spellcaster boy. What am I doing up here? Okay. Then this half-orc reaches onto its back,

and it seems like it breaks something off of its back, and in its hand is a thorn, and it hurls the thorn at Mud, hitting AC 29. Oh, yeah, that is. Doing 13 points of piercing damage. Oh, Mr. President.

I don't know if I could get hit again, by the way. Now I'm sad I'm not playing Matit and don't have the missile. Oh, you take it and you snatch it out of the air. Oh, that's so cool. Such a dope move. I got shot. I've been shot.

From the island, you hear a voice calling out. Grim, grim. Grim, grim. I need your help. Grim, grim. The half-orc, it's like ears perk up, and its head snaps and turns, looks at the island, and it immediately begins bolting,

running as fast as it can away from you all in the direction of the island leaping huge bounds closing lots of space jumping off the bow of the ship towards the island do i not get an opportunity attack on him yeah you can you can get an attack of opportunity bart i'm gonna use my dagger all right and that hits for 25 or ac25 that hits okay eight points of damage. Yeah. The half-orc seems to not even notice. Yeah. You clearly hit it, sink your dagger into it,

but it's just entirely focused on what it's doing. It said Grim Grim, the creature off the island. The half-orc picks up the halfling on the shore of the island and runs into the skull-shaped cave. Do you think these are like alternative universe Barton Gum Gum? Grim Grim? And the other one was a halfling. Whoa. Are we fighting

ourselves? Are we looking in? I don't know, but this version of Gum Gum isn't very, it doesn't give nice hugs. Totally sucks, yeah. Painful hugs, spiky hugs. Man, that's crazy. How far away are they?

Can I shoot my longbow at it? They've disappeared into the cave, the skull-shaped cave. Okay. Are we still in initiative? Y'all can break out of it now at this point. Am I still frightened? It would end at the end of your next turn, so since we're out of initiative, we'll say that that dropped.

I wasn't afraid of it. I wasn't scared of Grim Grim. I think I figured it out. Yeah. That halfling, its grandmother, is that half-orc. that that dropped i wasn't afraid of it i wasn't scared of grim i think i figured it out yeah that happening it's grandmother is that half work oh graham graham i think it's a grim grim yeah it was definitely grand grand yeah i'm thinking mud's on to something here nope gum gum mud while we're doing this could i cast cure ruins on myself absolutely okay i'm gonna do it at a high level just to get some

35 points of healing That's a good amount of health Can I take a short rest so I can get action surge back I feel like I blew it on that Grim Grim No no We did this campaign for like forever And you never learned to stop Blowing that stuff at the first battle

We got into If you got it, use it. You think we should go after them? Find out what the net skull gave? I feel like we should check out the other rooms around here. I think we're getting just glimpses into something going on here, and I want the full picture.

Well, maybe if we go into that cave, we'll come back out in the rooms that we started in, just like what happened in that fake herb loom kind of place. Go to the cave. I want to see how hot alternate dimension universe Kyborg is. Could I look around and see if there's any of those

little spiky things that that guy left behind on the ground? Like the thorns? There's the one that it threw at Mud. I'd easily take that with you. Just rip it out of him. I put the thorn into my pack. Okay. So how far is it to get to the skull cave?

You're a lot closer than the rest of the party from where you are, you know, maybe another 60 feet or so. Are we going to go? I think we should. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Mug, can you give us some sort of up ease of some sort to get us there fast?

No. Is that possible? Okay. I jump off the boat and I start swimming. How far away is the ship from the shore? Well, it depends on whether you're talking about like the bow or the actual like hull. The bow itself, you know, from where,

if you were thinking about jumping, if you're asking for that reason, it's probably 40 feet. Okay, I cast Gust of Wind with my Rainbringer staff at the sail of the ship and push it to shore. Wow. Master and Commander. I cast Gust of Wind as well.

I'm going to help. Oh, well, then I do not do it because I will save my target. No, I feel like it's fun for us to do it together. Yeah, yeah, the blow bros. One, two, three, let's break wind together. Dinky. So you cast Gust of Wind, Mud chimes in with a second wind, and you, you know, you inflate the sails

and promptly ground the ship on the sandbar that it was moored off of. It doesn't necessarily get too much closer, but it's definitely bottomed out and stuck now. We crashed Grim Grim's ship. Hey, Bart, what was the name of Marge's ship? The Jebediah.

And yours is called the Dissonant Whisperer. Okay, this one's called the Howling Shark. I'm trying to see if there's anything there. Who wants to go to shore? Guy Borg! Yeah, I jump off and head to shore. Do you want to go at peace? Yeah, carry me, Gum-Gum.

Carry me in those old man arms. But I hop off and I can walk on water. So you all make your way and go into the skull-shaped cave on the island? Yep. Yeah, what's howling shark?

Yeah, you all go through the cave opening and as you do so, a door closes behind you and you're back in the square room with all of the doors. Oh. You immediately fall

on your backs atop the door because of the orientation of everything. Not Bart. Bart falls on my stomach. Boing.

The third mosaic depicting a forest lights up with color. So it's 15 feet above you and upside down. And a little off to the side. Can I shoot an arrow with a rope attached and we can climb up so that I can be of use for once. If only one of us was able to reverse gravity. I think the use of mud spell for that was way cooler on the ship than it was in this room. You could absolutely fire an arrow with a piece of rope attached to it. Just make an attack roll just to aim and see if you hit your target.

16. Yeah. You're able to easily hit the door with an arrow and secure a rope. Okay. And then I climb up the arrow to the door. All right. I follow. Yeah. Same. Same. Okay. Same as before. There's that mosaic and a rope. Okay. And then I climb up the arrow to the door. Alright. I follow. Yeah, same. Same.

Okay. Same as before, there's that mosaic and a door. I presume one or multiple of you open it and go through? All at once. Kyborg's going first? No, we all go at once. We all shove our way into the door. Kyborg tries to go in as Gum-Gum shoves his way in

and says, everyone together! I let this happen. As one. You step onto a treetop overlooking a dense forest canopy blanketed in black smoke. Everyone roll a perception check. I think that's fire. I have disadvantage.

15. 26. 13. 18. Wait, now I have a question. Do I have disadvantage on all wisdom-based checks or just wisdom? Just wisdom checks. Right?

Yeah, because it's memory. Yeah. You feel the tree below you swaying in the wind gently. Mud amidst the smoke, you make out another treetop, maybe 40 feet to your right and 50 feet down, and you hear like a whimpering sound, like a hurt animal coming from that tree. Kyborg, are you a 15?

15. Kyborg, yeah, you feel the same thing. Gum Gum, you spot another tree top 30 feet past that, but it's difficult to make out in the black fumes and foliage. Bart, you think you hear a twig snap in that far tree, but you can't see anything other than all of this vapor and vines. Okay, I tell the party that I heard a twig snap in the other tree, but I can't make it out.

Theory, either this is our first encounter with little Jenny, which took place in the woods, or, especially with the smoke and stuff, this is the Everwinter Woods, and this is the burning of Kyborg's village. My dark origin story. Could be, could be. Does it smell like fire?

Can we tell it is fire for sure yeah it's like a black smoke you're fairly confident it's some kind of fire smells like gum gum can we maybe get closer to the tree where you heard the twig snap yeah i mean you gotta find a way to make your way there first you know there's this tree that is closer that i think mud saw and then beyond that is the other tree where you heard that twig snap from. Are they close enough to like jump between? This first tree is 40 feet to the right and 50 feet down. So it's far. Depends on how you could approach that.

Give me a rope. You can make like an athletics check. He's got the immovable rod and a jump. I can hand you the end of a rope if you want to go nuts. I take the rope and then I do a big jump and use the ring of jump to try and make it. Yeah, that should be pretty easy with the ring of jump. Just go ahead and roll me an athletics check anyway.

I'm going to get it with advantage. 26. Wow. Oh, yeah. You easily clear the distance and jump to that next tree over. That was the closer one that you all heard the whimpering sound coming from. Can I quickly tie the rope to the tree and check for the whimpering animal? Yeah, you tie the rope so everyone can come across if they want.

You look around for the whimpering. Make an investigation check. I skitter across as he's doing that. I do the same. Same. Oh, no. Oh, my God. What does that even mean?

Negative two investigation. Negative three. How would you? Wow. He rolled a one. So it was a critical fail. And then he had a negative three for modifier. There's nothing here.

Must have been the wind. Just goes back to the other tree. Can I climb down and then also investigate with Goku? Yeah. Make an investigation check. All right right let me show you how it's done there's nothing here i promise that is a eight five i told you there's nothing here yeah it was just the wind i guess guys let's move on there's nothing here let's go to the next tree i investigate as well. Make an investigation check. Gum Gum's already jumping to the next tree. Twelve. You find what appears to be a baby

owl that has singed wings from fire. Oh. No. What kind of cruel god would write this? Can we save it? Is it a little baby owl? Yeah. Do you have healing? I do. I think we gotta put it out of its misery, guys. Stop. What? I push. I think we've got to put it out of its misery, guys. Stop!

What? I pushed Kyborg out of the tree. As you're trying to figure out what to do with this baby owl, it seems to transform in your hands. What? Into some kind of amorphous blob figure that begins laughing maniacally. It mutters something. And some twisted saplings appear in the area, begins laughing maniacally. It mutters something.

And some twisted saplings appear in the area, kind of rising up from the ground, surrounding you all. Everyone roll initiative. Oh, my gosh. I don't even have action surge anymore. 21. 11. 25.

Woof. 22. Dang it. I want to go first. Those rolls were all like a number off from your previous rolls. That was weird. Must be these weighted digital dice we're using. Bart, you would go first, but again, you all were kind of caught by surprise.

God dang it. These creatures are going to go first. It's almost like twisted, burned, grotesque saplings surround you all and lash out and make an attack against, I'll say mud because mud was holding the owl. How are we all positioned by the way? Are we all kind of like in the same spot? Right, like a straight line kind of all in the same area. On a tree, right?

Yes, that is an 11 plus. I told you we should have killed the owl. You actually called it. That's a 17. That hits. So it lashes out's a 17. That hits. So it lashes out with like a branchy claw doing 11 points of damage. Okay. And it lashes one more time at you.

Ooh, that's probably a miss. AC 11. Yeah, that misses. It misses. Yay. Bart. So there's like this blob and like this kind of like twisted tree looking creature. If I were to cast something out from me, would I hit any of my party members or are we all on the same kind of plane?

Since it is 2D. You could position yourself around them. I'll say you all could like swap positions if you needed to. Okay, could I go to the front of the party and cast out Thunderwave? Yes. Thunderwave! Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah. cast out thunder wave yes so thunder wave it's gonna be a 15 foot square yes that goes out in front of me man only 16 16 points of damage each creature that was in the 15 foot area in front of

me but they also get pushed though or prone this that in addition, unsecured objects that are completely within the area of effect are automatically pushed 10 feet away from you. Okay, yeah, so the blob and these sapling creatures, are they gonna actually make a constitution, there's a save on it, right? It's a constitution save? Yeah, of 17. Way to go, Bart.

The sapling gets pushed away, but the blob type creature is still, seems to hold its ground. Okay. And then as a burnish action, I'm going to do my mantle of inspiration. So I use one of my bardic inspiration to grant 14 temp HP to four creatures I could see,

up to four creatures I could see. Thank you. So everyone gets 14 temp HP. Woo-woo! And that's it. After bard is Gum-Gum, then after Gum-Gum, Kyborg. Where am I in relation to the saplings

and the evil ones and the owl? You are, we'll say you're behind Bart and they're to the right from you. And the evil owl thing is? That turned into the blob, which did not get pushed back by the thunder wave. Okay. I will rage!

Okay. Ah! I'm rolling two. Let's see what happens. An eight rage. Okay. I'm rolling two. Let's see what happens. An eight and a six. That is a bolt of light shoots through my chest. And you can see it takes radiant or blind. Or I get the bonus AC.

I want to do the bolt of light. Another creature of choice you can see within 30 feet of you must succeed on the constitution saving throw or take 1d6 radiant damage and be blind until the start of your next turn. What was the save on it again? Constitution saving throw. Yeah yeah what's the number 1d6 plus my proficiency bonus plus my constitution modifier so that would be that's a 15. i was gonna say he he he did say constitution shaving this guy has a beard it's gone now i guess I'll shoot at the blob. Can I shoot at the blob? Do they have eyes? Yes, you do. However, the blob rolls a 20 on its save, like a nat 20 on the save.

So seemingly unfazed. These characters are too strong. You see the rolls. I rolled a nat 20. That's just dumb luck. I will then instead. Do these blobs look like they are fire-based? Because they're all like smoldered and burned and stuff.

No, I said the baby owl was singed. Oh, okay. Oh, you said blobs. Do you mean the saplings? Saplings, yeah. No, they don't appear to be fire-based, no. Okay. Well, I'm going to attack the blob with my...

Recklessly with my axe. My balancing axe. Ha! Yeah! I get advantage on that. That's a 27. That hits. And I go, ha! And that's eight plus my rage bonus, which is three, so.

11? Yeah. Okay. You swing with your balancing axe doing 11 points of damage. Does it seem to impact the blob in a painful way? I mean, it seems to hurt it. Yeah, you know, you slash at it, but I mean, it's still very much there.

Very blobby. Yeah. Then I shall do it again once more. Someone said if I recklessly attack, is it both by attacks? I think it's not. It says, giving you advantage on melee weapon attack rolls using strength during this turn. You make your first attack on your turn,

you can decide to attack recklessly. But make my first, giving you advantage on may they make an attack rolls using strength during this turn. During this turn. So I have to decide on my first attack. Okay, so I guess you make the decision on your first attack and then it affects all of them on that turn. Got it.

We did that wrong the entire campaign. Someone called it out on social media. So that's 25 to hit. All right, that hits. Yeah. Yeah. 16 damage. All right, that hits. Yeah. Yeah. 16 damage. All right.

The blob is still there. It's a little sliced up, but still standing its ground. And that is it. All right. It would be Kyborg's turn, but one of the other ones acts in the intermediary. What? Hey, you're cutting line, pal. What are you doing?

It rolled well. You hear a voice from the far tree. Leave it to me, Muck. Muck. And you hear like a clicking sound and You hear a voice from the far tree. Leave it to me, Muck. Muck. And you hear like a clicking sound and you hear a boom and a bullet seems to fly in a straight line at all of you. All of you make a dexterity saving throw. This is the mud version.

No, this is fake kyborg. It's both. He shot his arrow at the can cannon. 21. 22. Nat 20. 21. 22. Nat 20. 21. 14.

Mine rolled over from an 18 to a five. And so I got 14. Everyone ducks in time, except for Bart, who gets a square in the chest. I'm so short. If they duck, they're the same height as me. Everyone jumped at just the right moment, except for Bart. Damn. Who gets hit in the torso with a magical bullet. Bart takes... I'm getting beat up.

I know, this is... It's not your day. This is the campaign of just beating up Bart. 26 points of damage. I think I healed up a little bit. Yeah, really? Yeesh. Then you hear another clicking sound and another bullet comes flying out.

You only get one fake kyborg. Everyone make another dexterity saving throw. It's one spur short rest. You're cheating. I have such a good modifier on my dexterity saving throws and I'm rolling so bad. I rolled an 11. 18. 19.

I rolled a five. Oh, I guess I can add a D12 to that. Why not? So I rolled a 14. That's going to hit me still. Yeah, your total is 14. Yeah, you still get hit along with Bart. Bart, you had an 11 that time?

Yeah, I did. Well, this one actually only hits one person. So it's either going to be Mud or Bart. I'm going to roll evens, mud, odds, Bart. Odds, Bart. Odds, Bart. It's so good. It's so good. It's so good.

Ow. A second bullet fires out, impacts you, Bart, and explodes into a huge burst of fire. You take 17 points of piercing damage, and then you explode into five points of fire damage. That's 22? Yeah. What I like to imagine is you guys jumped on the first one.

Bark didn't try to duck, got hit. And then on the next one, he tried to jump. You guys ducked. We all ducked. Everyone make a perception check. Okay. I have disadvantage.

21. 10. 9. 11. Everyone except for Gum-Gum sees this, but in the far tree, there appears to be an elf made almost entirely out of iron. It has two left arms made of firearms and no right arm.

Oh. These are evil us's. If we'd given into the dark side. Isn't that what I... No, it wasn't. Wait, Glenn, you're the first one. Isn't that what I... No, it was. Wait, Blaine, you're the first one to bring that up? I did it. We had Grim Grim and the other...

No, no, Barb, let him have this moment. He really figured something out, okay? Men are so smart. No, no, listen, you said earlier that these are alternate dimension us as we all agreed on that. I'm saying this is like the kyborg if he had gone to Quadrant.

You didn't specify that. That's what I'm saying right now. As kyborg if he had gone to the quadrant. You didn't specify that. That's what I'm saying right now. As you all are looking in the distance at the elf, the blob slinks away, retreating over towards the direction of that elf in the distance, and they both disappear into that third tree. We head to the third tree, right? I don't know.

Is a dumb door up here or something? What are we doing? Well, they went into the tree. Do you think we need to find these versions of ourselves and open them up and look inside them and then... Yeah, I go to the next tree. I go to the tree that they were at. Yeah, me too.

You see that there's a tree hollow here atop this tree and you all cross through it and a door closes behind you and you immediately fall to the ground. Everyone make a dexterity saving throw. Oh, goodness. Saving throw's at the wazoo. No.

18. 15. 15. I rolled a one. Kyborg, you fall on your face, taking five points of bludgeoning damage. Okay, but I kiss the floor. Oh, it turns into Lin-Mir's face. Okay.

Hey, honey. A 2D Lin-Mir. Weird. Okay. Hey, honey. A 2D Lin-Mirror. Weird. Yeah. You are now atop the fourth door, and the fourth mosaic depicting a castle lights up. Could I cast Cure Wounds on myself again? Yes.

We're on top of the door that we haven't gone through yet? Yeah, you fell out of this one on top of the other door. Okay. You're casting your healing. 34 points of healing. You want to cast that, like, twice or something? If you allow it, we can put it on on my friendship bracelet and it will protect you. Okay.

I don't think we should handcuff each other right now. I have my bonding friendship bracelet. It can cast like 60 foot distance and it can do warding bonds so that I absorb damage. Okay, yeah. Maybe for the next room, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. Okay. All right, let's go to the next room, yeah. Okay. Alright, let's go to the next room.

Hopefully there's a cloud room full of nice soft pillows and unicorns. And we've burned it friendship-wise. I go in. Let's go in. Let's do this. I open the last door and we go in. You all pass

through the door and you feel glass envelop you like a thick swirling soup of prismatic colors. Fragments of reflection spiral past you until your feet land on a dim mosaic tile floor. Your vision adjusts to a third dimension, depth. You and your surroundings are back to normal. You find yourselves back in the ivory grand hall of Castle Espejo. A single beam of moonlight dimly lights the center of the hall. It's still decked with hanging floral banners, topiaries, a stage, a corral of beasts, and an archery range.

Standing atop the dim stage are the four figures you recognize from your previous two-dimensional bouts. A voice calls out, D-d-don't hurt me! I would never want to do anything to hurt anyone! I missed on purpose. It was a warning. A strapping silhouette steps out from behind the shadowy figures, his white mantle gleaming in the moonlight, little Jimmy. You tackled me, berated me, shackled me,

impugned my marksmanship, stole from me, and you think we can just be friends? It turns out I'm not the only person you left in the wake of your careless collateral damage. You tampered with time to save the day, discarded yourselves to a destiny of devastation. That is your past selves. Take a look in the mirror and say hello to the infinite externs. Four distorted, albeit younger versions of yourself step out from the shadows.

A thorny barbarian, a gaunt bard, a defiled druid, and a metallic elf with two left arms. Cool. Lil' Jimmy holds out his hands. His white mantle shifts to jet black. A bow made of silver dragon scales appears in his right hand, and a skull made of obsidian appears in his left. Hi, Lil' Jimmy. I met the externs in the Elder Pines after they had been attacked and imprisoned by ruthless raiders. They showed me this place, Isla de Venganza, where we found the skull of Ojo Porojo.

It offers lasting life for those who seek vengeance. Holding up the obsidian skull. No more warning shots. Now you shall taste the wrath my arrows truly bring. Truly brave. Everyone go ahead and roll initiative and we'll find out how this concludes in the next episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon. Will the interns be able to vanquish the externs and everyone that's been left in their wake their wake of destruction who really is the bad guy don't worry little jimmy will save you

we'll come come save little jimmy let's find out all right thanks for listening everyone oh man all right bye hey everyone it's me bart thank you so much for listening to that episode of tales from the Sneaky Dragon. In case you guys didn't know, we have something really cool coming up. On Saturday, November 11th, we will be raising money for Children's Miracle Network Hospitals. It's RT Extra Life. We are back with a 24-hour stream with the whole crew, the whole Sneaky Dragon crew. We're going to be doing a one-shot.

It's going to be uh with some uh characters you might know from a certain campaign called grotesque so uh so yeah come check it out it's gonna be a 24-hour stream starting saturday november 11th into sunday november 12th because that's how 24 hours works yep it's gonna be good i also want to mention that this episode of tales from the stinky dragon was produced by ben ernst written edited and composed by Micah Reisinger, and additional editing work by David Saunier. Did you know that you can directly support the show and interact with us by subscribing at stinkydragonpod.com slash first?

Yeah, it's pretty cool. Only the coolest people of the club get to be a first member, so you should sign up, support the show. We'd really appreciate it. And now I'm gonna say thanks to some of our very cool, very amazing first stinkers. Hope I pronounced your names right. Not too very good at this, but we got

Luzij99, we got Johan, we got Rodrigo Ledesma, Caboose4Prez420, hell yeah, and of course4Prez420. Hell yeah. And of course, we have Onamzu. Thank you guys so much for supporting the show. If you do choose to become a first member, of course, you directly support the show and

get access to more great content like Second Wind, interact with us on our subscriber-only Discord channels, and a ton more. Again, go to StinkyDdragonpod.com slash first. And here's a quick shout-out to those who interacted with us on social media. Some NPCs named after them on this episode were Little Jimmy, aka Jamie Espejel, at JimmyKing411 on Twitter, and EsquireErica on Reddit, user EricaMakesThings.

Thank you guys so much for interacting with us. Make sure to use at StinkyDragonPod, hashtag StinkyDragonPod. You know the drill. Maybe you'll be an NPC on future episodes. And speaking of special shout-outs, we want to give a special thanks to some friends who provided VO for the characters in this episode. First up, Little Jimmy.

Some guy named Gustavo Sorolla. I've never heard of him. He's at Sorolla on social media. And we also have Esquire Erica, played by Kristen Bates, at Kristen K. Bates. Thank you guys so much for providing your lovely, lovely voices to the show. And last but not least, go follow us on at StinkyDragonPod. We're on Twitter, Instagram, TikTok, Facebook, YouTube. Are there any other social media platforms? I don't know. Anyways, interact with the community over on our subreddit

at r slash StinkyDragonPodcast or on the Rooster Teeth Discord. For access to the Discord, just go to StinkyDragonPod.com and on the left side, you know, the way Kyborg always goes, just click on Community, and then Discord right underneath. I don't really know how the internet works, but that's where you find it. Hope to see you there. Anyway, thanks again, and we hope to see you next time when you tune in for another thrilling episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon. anytime i used action surge in balder's gate 3 i imagined you saying action sir action search