Tales from the Stinky Dragon - Karcasuuk Coup - C02 Ep 13 - Mummy's the Word

Episode Date: August 2, 2023

The party reach the desert city of Karcasuuk and learn of a false pharaoh that has taken control of the city! Check out our merch and follow us on Twitter, Instagram, TikTok and more: https://linktr.ee/TalesFromTheStinkyDragon Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is a Rooster Teeth Production. Best wishes to all you bone claws. Shadow jump your jawbone into the stinky dragon. Knock back our latest bev. Go off without a lich. It's a mixture of scar de mom seeds, sliced cold brew, topped with skewered pineapple chunks and cherries. One nip of the snosh is enough to scratch that itch to be a lich. Previously, our adventurers were deserted in the desert with nothing but a caboose to their name. But after scavenging supplies and traversing

scorching sands, they finally found their first signs of civilization, a pyramid. Latch onto a libation, let's leap into this accruedulant lore. Hello everyone, my name is Gustavo Sorolla, I'm your dungeon master for our putrid party. Hello, everyone. My name is Gustavo Sorolla. I'm your dungeon master for our future party. I'm going to hit up our four players with an arrow. It's a little role-playing warm-up question. This week's question is,

what profession did your character want to be as a kid? As a kid? You mean currently, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And if you don't mind introducing yourself, your character, and then answering the question for your character, please. Oh, man, I have to go first. I need to think about this. Well, I'm Barbara Dunkelman.

I voice Elga Von Brath, who is a female half-elf vampire barbarian. And as a kid, so long ago, for Elga. She wanted to be, you know, I don't, you know, Elga wanted to do so many things. I'm sorry. I feel like almost Elga, when she was young, it was so long ago that she wanted to be something that isn't a contemporary occupation anymore. Like it's come and gone. temporary occupation anymore like it's come and gone i think when i was younger i wanted to work at the morgue because you know it seems peaceful and quiet and you know you get to learn about the human body which as a young girl i was very curious about

my my brain finished your sentence for you before you did it and then all my brain says like Elga wanted to work at the mall is what she wanted to do. She wanted to work at the MTMs. Or what was it called? The pretzels? Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's great. God, I want a cinnamon pretzel now. Hey, it's me, Blaine Gibson. I play

Chip Haney in Tiefling Rogue. Burble garble, everyone. Burble garble. Burble gar Rogue. Burble Garble, everyone. Burble Garble. Burble Garble. Burble Garble to you. And a fine Burble Garble to you. I think Chip wanted to be a pizza cook. He wanted to make the pizza.

He loves eating pizza. He always brings a smile to his face. And he wanted to see smiles on other people's faces. He wanted to be a pizza maker. Chip would look great on a pizza box. I think so, too. Like holding up a little. Yeah.

We had an old podcast shirt with Gus and he was like doing the like Mamma Mia symbol. Is he okay? Well, I would say it's the okay sign, not the Mamma Mia symbol. Yeah. Well, it's the Mamma Mia symbol. Mamma Mia. I feel it should be canonical now that Chip also has a pizza cutter in his fanny pack arsenal.

In his fanny pack. It's good for slitting throats. You just roll it right across. We got to have somebody who can enchant Chip's fanny pack so that it's like Mary Poppins bag and just is forever reaching down in.

There's a bag of holding. You had the last campaign, didn't you? Fingers crossed. and just is forever reaching down in. Hey, there's a bag of holding. You did. You had the last campaign, didn't you? Fingers crossed. Put the bag of holding in your fanny pack. And so when you reach in, it's like a double bag there. Can Barney remember what he wanted to be when he was a kid? Well, I'm Chris Damaris and play Barney Farney.

Verbal, verbal. Reputation precedes me. Human cleric. Verbal, verbal. Reputation precedes me. Human cleric. And I think Barney, as a kid, wanted to be a hero. Wow.

Wow. What kind? When did Barney give up on that dream? I don't know. But just a hero. I mean, there's heroes everywhere. Bus drivers, teachers, janitors, you know, they come in all shapes and sizes. That's true. It's very true.

Even the guy listening right now at Subway who's making a sandwich. I was about to make that joke. Who's making a hero sandwich? Oh, nice. That's my one joke I get for the whole episode. I wasn't giving inspiration to I, but you already have one. Aw, dang it.

I'll take it. I always do that. I never, I'm not the jokester. I'm not the funny man of the group. And whenever I do actually make one, I already got an inspiration die. John, you're very funny. I'm John, by the way, the very funny guy who plays Matty Confucius, who's an era Corchrane ghost monk.

And Mati, when Mati was un petit bébé. Fledgling. Un petit bébé. Un bébé. I thought it would be very helpful and interesting to be a librarian. I've always loved reading and learning and teaching myself everything that I can. And so it seems like easy access to all the information. It's a quiet place.

It's a reflective place. You know, so I love the library. You like the quietness, Mathieu. Do you like partying with us every day, every time? Let's just not start this adventure with negativity. Okay, the four of you travel for several hours across countless sand dunes. Your joints are aching, your clothes are caked with sand and sweat. You peer across the horizon for any sign of progress, but all you see is more...

Wait, that wasn't there before, was it? Something stands tall above the dunes, piercing the skyline with a sharp point. Is that a pyramid? Oh, right. After some deliberation, you'all decide to make camp for the evening before proceeding any further so everyone can take a long rest. Yay!

I don't think I need one, but I'll do it. Actually, if I don't need to take a long rest and I don't actually have to sleep, can I use that time for whatever I want? Yeah, it's Matide time. Okay. Matime. Give us a taste of that. What's Matide time like? Honestly, in character, Matide's getting a little suspicious of some of you. Oh, really?

Matide is not necessarily immediately trusting of everybody. And we've only been together for a short while. So I'm, you know. There's nothing to be suspicious of. Nothing that anyone's hiding from each other or anything that anybody did in private. What does that entail? What's when and what's your investigation involved? Yeah.

What are you looking for? Yeah. What are you looking for? You're asleep. You're asleep, old man. You're asleep. I need Chris to be method. Go to sleep right now.

Don't tempt me, John. Oh, my God. I have hellish rebuke sorry i was like i'm i was curious about my own character and what john could find out about me he found out that i have hellish rebuke i think at this point not to completely go into you know to to uh break everyone's you know privacy i think matide would just stay awake and would just watch over them and see what they might dream about you know see if there's anything you could tell from like sleep talking or their sleeping habits and just would uh does matide see any peak of fangs coming out of elga's mouth yes matide has been around for a while between the two of us who have been around longer than these other mortals yeah Yeah. Mati wasn't born yesterday. Understands what a vampire is, but definitely was not born yesterday.

Let me tell you. No. Is there any flavor text you guys could give me on any like dreams and any sleep talking that might occur? OK, I'm going to give you a little bit of taste. Chip, big smile. He's sleeping like a baby, you know, like hands together as if in prayer, cupped up to his cheek. he's having a

great time he's just dreaming of murder nothing but stabbing people all the people that he's assassinated in his past life that's all he's thinking about how does that sound i mean you can if you look into his face he's just but inside his brain it's just i like it. Elga, of course, sleeps on her back with her arms crossed over her chest.

As all little girls do. As all little girls to protect, you know, herself from things that might come. I like the idea that in the desert you have actually buried

yourself in the sand as well. Mummified. And she is probably just doing like the phantom bites and dreaming of flying is elga a drooler like does the little fangs keep her lips from the ceiling so she got like a little bit of drool coming out the side of the mouth there's a hundred percent of drooler because she's sleeping on her back, it comes out both sides. She's just salivating, thinking about... Is her drool a little red? That's weird.

No. Barney, what's your sleep like? Barney, 70% of the time, snoring loudly, perfectly content and happy. And then occasionally, he'll look really sad or upset and then he'll be really happy. So he's kind of waffling. Okay. Like a dog that's

having a dream. Does one of his legs like start kicking a little bit? They do kick. Yeah, they kick like he's running. I'm surprised he doesn't have a magic CPAP machine or something. Is he also making little like like the little dog squeals. All right.

So what'd you glean from that, Mateed? I've made notes. Okay. We can proceed. Sorry. That was a total detour, but I thought that was fun. I like it. That's fun.

It's necessary. Everyone go ahead and make me a perception check. 16. 17. Nine. 16 for Barney. Oh, two 16s, a 17 and a nine. Wow.

Mateed, we'll start with you. Perhaps you spend a little bit more time than expected studying everyone. So you're not really looking around, paying attention to the surroundings. You're just kind of focused, maybe processing all that you've learned throughout the night. Then the other three of you wake up to the faint sound of someone yelling in the distance. You open your eyes and realize it's daybreak. You squint past a few dunes to see three stiff figures in a huddle.

And as you empty the sand from your ears, you're able to make out the cries. Untie me at once. Is anyone out there? Please, help. What was that? Barney, was that you? No.

Did anyone else hear a voice crying out for us to untie them? Yes. Oh, okay. We should untie them. Where are you? Which direction is the pyramid to us? From where you are, it's kind of off to the north. But these cries are kind of coming from that same direction.

A little maybe north, northwest. Okay. All right. Now, gang, there's a possibility that this here could be a trap all right mid-sentence matit fly straight up in the air okay goodbye every time they do that i just assume that's the last time we'll ever see well they do know a lot more about this maybe so maybe they're scared you're like a dog with separation anxiety anytime you're like oh no with separation anxiety. Anytime Mateed leaves, you're like, oh no, object permanence. Mateed's gone forever.

Yeah, I go up and look the direction that that sound's coming from. And you said we see three figures as well? Yeah, like past some of the dunes to the north, you see three figures kind of in a huddle. And I assume that's what Mateed kind of focuses in when they take to the air. And in that area, you get like a little bit of a better view. Maybe, you know, the sand's not blowing as much once you get up into the air a bit, Matide. But you can see three figures appear to be wearing a fourth figure in the sand. Oh, I come back down and I relay that information to the group if they're not aware of it thus far.

There seems to be a bit of a party going on to the north. One person might be not enjoying the party as the others. I think we should do like some sort of you guys distract them while a couple of others go behind. We can do just like, you know, a little bit of a pincer maneuver. I mean, we could just walk over and see what's going on, because if they're friends, doing something without consent is not appropriate. And they should know that this is not a way to treat their friends. We could be a shining example of how four friends act together all the time, trusting each other, one another.

Matide would not be able to stifle completely a little chuckle to that. I sense by your chuckle that you agree, Matide. Thank you. Oh, yeah. Big endorsement. So we're going to go in fisticuffs raised. I sense by your chuckle that you agree, Mati. Thank you. Oh, yeah. That's, yeah, big endorsement. So we're going to go in fisticuffs raised. I want to hide. I just want to sneak through the sand like a bit of a sandworm, shimmy my way through just in case things get dirty and I got the jump on them. With Chip saying that, is there any change in the planar height of anything between us and them?

Or is it just flat sand between us and them? No, there's dunes along the way. It's not totally flat, but yeah, there are dunes that rise and fall between you and there, which may be another reason you're able to get a better view when you were up in the air. Okay, I like it. I was really hoping it was completely flat

and we would just see Chip army crawling across the sand. Snithering through like a snake. I don't know if I had said this earlier, and I just want to say it just for a sense of clarification. There's also some like ruins, like some dilapidated falling apart buildings

as well between you and there. Cover. Oh, whatever I was pretends to be a ghost. Yes, pretends. Mateed looks at Chip.

Oogie boogie. Oh, that is very, that's not nice of you to do that. We are not like that. That's very stereotypical of you to do that. We are not like that. That's very stereotypical of you to do that. Oh, so sorry.

Maybe we should just walk over. Chip, if you want to be sneaky, you go for it. You know, you do you, boo. But I think maybe we should just, you know, calmly walk over there and see what the trouble is. Okay, let's go. I'll follow you guys' lead. Elga, you're team commander, all right?

Okay. So does that mean Elga's taking point since she's commander? Let's establish a marching order here. Elga first. And then Barney come up behind, acting as a ghost. What does that mean? Does that mean Barney's second? Does that mean Barney's fourth?

Second. Okay. Matide? Matide takes the rear. Okay. I'm going to go lone wolf. I'm going to go around but i'm gonna wait on elga's call you give me the signal elga and then i run away without establishing a signal

who like an owl he's already gone he can't hear what the signal is gonna be he's just gonna have to guess all right so elga you begin casually walking over in that direction leading uh your party minus chip who's flanking off somewhere waiting for a signal. Yeah, and Elga's version of trying to be casual is she's just like strolling over, pretending to chew gum and like whistle and look around. And Barney goes, as he approaches.

Elga, do you also have like your hands in your pockets? Real casual, like. So casual. Just happened to be out for a stroll in this desert when we came upon him. Do you have one hand in your pockets? Mm-hmm. Real casual-like. So casual. Just happened to be out for a stroll in this desert when we came upon him. Do you have one hand in your pocket? And the other one is... Giving a peace sign, I believe, is the lyric. Okay, I didn't know the lyrics.

You know what? You picked up on what I was laying down. I appreciate it, Barbara Dunkelman. Ay! Yeah, as you close the distance between you and the the figures you hear what appears to be some groaning and you also hear maybe what might be the person being covered up with sand the sand getting into their mouth and they're breaking the sound like burble gerble oh what a great oh they're friendly can we tell who the the three people bearing this person are?

Like what they look like, what they have on? Make a perception check for me, Elga. I'm looking too. 22. 20. The three figures who were huddled up appear to be very stiff. Like they're not moving very smoothly at all. And they're kind of dressed in fine linen

with their head and their shoulders covered like a scarf of some kind. I relay that information to Barney. Yeah. Okay. Like a mummy? I mean, yeah, wrapped up, maybe, perhaps. And can we see the fourth person being buried

or are they too much under the sand for us to see them? At this point, they're mostly buried in the sand. Looks like it's someone bound by rope struggling as sand is getting poured on top see them. At this point, they're mostly buried in the sand. Looks like it's someone bound by rope, struggling as sand is getting poured on top of them. Oh, dear. Excuse me, fellow desert hangout people here in the desert with us

also hanging out here. Barney gives a head nod. Yes, you're doing it, Elga. What are you guys doing to that person? They seem to not enjoy being buried in the sand. It seems almost like you maybe startled them. The three of them turned around with a sound. All three of them point a finger in Matid's direction.

You go, and everyone go and roll initiative. Oh. Chip is the signal. Chip. Chip. Chip. Oh. Chip is the signal. Chip. Chip. Chip. Chip.

15. 18. Vontaeon. What? 18. That one I didn't know. John, I had to look at that one. Yeah.

I'm teaching. I'm a teacher. All right, Mateet, you have a 21 on initiative, so you're going first. What's their distance to me? From where you are, we'll say they're 20 feet or so. Okay. It's three of them?

Yes. Okay. I charge in and I cast Arms of the Astral Self. And that summon causes anybody within 10 feet of me, if I'm like 10 feet from them, they must succeed on a deck saving throw or take 2d4 force damage. And so I'm going to do that. What save do they have to roll?

Like how, what's the number they're looking for? 13. They have a minus one on their save, so they need a 14 or higher. Okay. I'm rolling for all three of them because they're all pretty bunched up and all three of them fail with a 13, eight and one.

Ooh, lovely. I'm going to roll for damage on that which is a fatty six force damage nice so you just go in with like astral arms wailing uh they're wings they're wings thank you thank you don't you have wings and arms yeah but i want wings when these come out yeah why are you being so difficult with me i want i want wings no i don't have arms and wings, do I? Yeah. Well, how are you holding things? I thought I was like a... Yeah, you do.

In my head, sometimes I think I'm more like a Zelda bird. What are they, Reno? Is that what they're called? It's a Reno build. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I like that. But yeah, you're right. I think I have arms.

God, I should know. I should really change my avatar to look like that so it's not croissant. It's not birds, it's croissant. So, okay. Anyways, I should know. I should really change my avatar to look like that so it's not croissants. You can't catch them. So, okay. Anyways, it's wings. So your astral wings flutter about knocking these figures to and from for six points of damage. Yes, and that's a bonus

action. And I'm going to stay ten feet from them when I do that so that the force damage happens, but they're not within melee range of me. Okay. Okay, so I am going to, since I have 10 feet reach for melee damage, I'm going to do a nice little melee attack using the arms of the astral self

and I'm going to do that, I guess, to pick a dude. Gus and I attack that dude. Roll me a D6. One and two is the first one. Three and four is the second one. Five and six is the third one. That's a one. Okay, that's the first one. The one on the left. That's an eight. Nothing happens. Nothing happens. I just... Believe it

or not, that hits. What? Whoa. These people must be real weak. I thought I was just gonna, like, fan them. A gust of wind from your wind. Just cooling them off. Their AC is actually eight, so that is the

exact number you needed. Rolling for damage. Five damage. Okay, yeah. You kind of use one of your arms of the astral self. It lashes out at it. You're not particularly confident in the attack, but it connects, hitting it right in the face and knocking it to the ground where it is no longer moving.

Oh, wow. All right, I go up. And then Matide takes off, Top Gun style. Have at it, Sim. Is this where they go up. And then Matide takes off Top Gun style. Have at them. Is this where they go to get milk from the convenience store and never come back? There they go. I think they're going to the danger zone. I want to like a French like accordion version of Highway to the Danger Zone to play along.

The danger zone. Yeah. If they put that into the movie Amelie, that's what I want that to sound like. All right, Barney, you're up. Then after Barney is Elka. Barney casts Guiding Bolt on one of the mommies. The remaining two?

Yeah. Whatever it is. The Tattered Individuals. Which one? The one in the center or the one on the right? Whichever one looks the least damaged. They've all taken the same amount of damage except for the one that's down. Then the one in the middle.

Okay. That's a 22. That hits. And does 11. This one also falls to the ground unmoving from your guiding bolt. I showed him or her or them. Is there anything else Barney wants to do is there anything else a legit old man i think barney's actually falling asleep right now that's it that's it for barney oh bardy efficient okay wow elga you're up then the creature that's tied up then how much distance between the creature

sorry the last standing thing and the person who's in the sand then chip. How much distance between the creature, sorry, the last standing thing and the person who's in the sand? Not too far. I think let's call it 15 feet. Okay. I mean, I'm just going to go and swing my great axe at the last standing figure. All right.

Go ahead and make that attack roll. I can't wait to find out these guys were coming up to Mateed for an autograph. 100% they're going to be good guys. You know it. That's a 15. That hits. Damage is only a five.

Lucky for you, he did not have very many hit points left. So that drops him and he also falls to the floor. It also falls to the ground, unmoving. And then I don't know if I have more, but I would like to go over to the person who's being buried in the sand and help pull them out. Sure, why not? Are we out of combat?

Yeah, you're out of combat at that point, but I'll let Elga go and continue that. Chip, you can come out now. It's safe. You hear a voice from across the dune say, did you send the signal yet, Elga? Can I come out? Can I attack? You know, why don't you just stay where you are for now, you know, just in case. You see a purple thumbs up come from over the dune. You got it! I'm just kidding. You come.

Come join the party. I sled down the dune. Ow. Elga, you walk up to the hole and you find someone who's mostly buried, bound by rope, struggling to free themselves. Can I pull them out? Make a strength check just to pull them out. Just for fun.

I'd say 14. Elga's pretty strong. You managed to pull the figure out and you recognize her pretty immediately. You saw her not that long ago. It's the mummy. Like from the parade? The, the, correct.

Yeah, the, not a mummy, the mummy. Thank you so much. I really appreciate it. I thought I was done for. Oh, you're very welcome, mummy. Mum, mummy, mum. I mean, mummy. I mean, I mean.

Chip approaches, pulls out his arm blade, holds it up to her face threateningly, then smiles and cuts off the restraints. Let's get you up. He pats her off the dust and the sand. And good as new. Oh, there you go. As you're doing that,

your hand kind of brushes up against her hair. But yeah, as it brushes, you realize that it's very strange hair. It's like shifting and it almost moves like snakes, like cobras. They're very bizarre. Oh, what have you been doing to your hair? Those locks are so luxurious

and nice. What's your routine? Chip and Elga, the two of you since you're up close to the mummy, why don't both of you make a perception check? Is it the leave-in conditioner or something that you're using? I do a two. This is accurate because men don't know how to take care of their hair. What does Chip do? I do a two.

I do a two. Chip is very cat-like. He sees a lot of sand, knows that he can go. I do a two. I do a two. Chip is very cat-like. He sees a lot of sand, knows that he can go. I rolled a 18. Elga, you are much more perceptive than Chip over there. It's because Chip went face first down a dune and now just has sand all in his eyes. The mummy appears to be a decaying woman

wrapped in linen strips. Her rotting face is tattooed all over and her hair shifts and slithers like cobras. Since the last time you saw her, it appears that she's missing her golden headdress. She's also missing her double-bladed scimitar. Matide lands. Why were those individuals burying you in the sand? It's a long story.

Pleased to meet you, by the way. My name is Ryida Rajad. Bonjour, je m'appelle Matin. Can you spell that out for us? R-A-I-D-A-R-A-J-A-D. The name's Chip Haney. Pleasure to meet you. Yes, you as well. I was betrayed by my priests, the lectors.

Specifically, High Lector Mishnomar. My headdress of the antique was stolen by someone else who was calling themselves the true pharaoh. Then I was unceremoniously let out here to this fate. Sounds like a bunch of Judas priests. That's right, I know rock and roll. I'm a bit of a metalhead

on the weekends. I think you need to go hide again. Okay. So did they, I noticed that you are missing your Headdress and your sword Did they take those as well? Yes

My headdress was stolen by the Imposter Hadee Who was claiming to be the new Pharaoh and I was Left without it My headdress is very important to me, and I would like to get that back. Why is it important?

It's a source of power and an acknowledgement of my status. So was it stolen? Yes, it was stolen. He just told us it was stolen. So what's like the governing body here? Is this like a monarchy, a democracy? Like how were you put into the higher up position? Obviously it's a matriarchy if they're a mummy.

True. But like, is this like a royalty thing? Like, did you, you know? Due to my work to help the people of this area i was granted this elevated position i don't really see that many people in this area who exactly are you referring to karkasuk of course the city behind me in the dunes wait you're telling me that that big pyramids is city like a bass pro shop is that, you're telling me that that big pyramid's a city like a Bass Pro Shop? Is that what you're telling me?

Is there people in there? Not just the pyramid. The city at the base of the pyramid. Oh, I didn't see that. Okay, I thought we were in Memphis, Tennessee. No, everyone knows that. So obvious. You had described there were ruins between us and them.

Right. Are they pointing at something that is towards that pyramid and at the base of it, but far enough away? Correct. Correct. My devotion to the Antique helps guide the city, and its citizens are grateful for it. Who is Antique? The Antique are the ancients. The whole city is devoted to the Antique.

We perform sacred rituals and offerings regularly to the Antique. You said there was this true pharaoh who usurped you. Did you get a good look at who this was? They were difficult to see. They were wrapped up and wore a cloak. They were like tall, short, muscular, skinny. Seemed to be a muscular humanoid. Did you catch any green veins?

Big smiles? Dead? Maybe, Smiley. They had a lot of teeth. Yes. Smile. We're very familiar with those who are smiley. Elgo looks at Chip.

Yeah. Big smile. You know, it is very unfair when people take what belongs to you. And this does not make me very happy. So I think... And elga looks back to her team we should help right we should help mommy find her crown and her swords oh yeah yeah did you call her mommy i mean the mommy uh mommy sorry mommy sorry what's the situation we're gonna be walking into here like is this you've been outcast and like, you're like an enemy of the state

or do you still have allies? Like, what's the scale of this here coup? It's going to be difficult. Whoever wears the headdress of Antique can awaken the citizens of Kakasuk and command them as a legion. So, if this imposter is wielding the headdress of Antique, we could find quite a bit of resistance within the city.

What makes them the imposter and not you? Because I am devout to the Antique, and they are not. They just showed up. So, like, say we, you know, kind of like your three friends here that weren't your friends because they were trying to kill you say we take them down and kill them are these like brainwashed citizens and we're doing a bad thing or would they come back because you know it's like an undead kind of situation every citizen of karkasuk who serves the Antique is essentially given everlasting life, so that is not something you need to be worried about. Okay, so safety's off. Got it. You can

identify a Karkasuken easily with this ceremonial tattoo. She walks over to some of those three figures that you all were in combat with and points out a tattoo that's on them. It looks like a brown sigil. It's like a double-bladed scimitar with an eye on each blade. Cool. Where's the tattoo? It's right above their, it's on their tailbone, right? Right on their lower back there.

Like a stamp of some sort? Yeah. It's not in a consistent place between the three of them. Two of them are on the arm and another one is on the leg. Okay. Chip, make a history check. Oh, yeah. It's not in a consistent place between the three of them. Two of them are on the arm and another one is on the leg. Okay. Chip, make a history check. Oh, okay. There is a 14.

You feel like this tattoo reminds you of something. It's hard to place, but it's like waking from a dream. And like, as you try to focus on it, you can't grab it. It's like, it's just on the periphery of your mind. I just seen the dialogue underneath the screen saying, Chip will remember that. I have a question. When we approach these individuals who are burying you,

they seem to be a bit enthusiastic about approaching me particularly. Would you have any insights as to why they were so interested in me? Most likely it's your feline friend. Jacques! You mean Jacques. My umpte t-shirt. Talk of the town. The Hordum are frightened of felines because they're

largely viewed as keepers of the undead. So these three people they were not Karkasuk? Yes, they were Karkasukans. However, they served in the Hordum army, who are awakened and commanded by the headdress of Antique. Okay, so they were being controlled by the headdress to attack you and to bury you.

Exactly. So they were chasing the kitty because they were scared of it? They wanted to be rid of it. Oh, goodness. I pet Jacques. We better put that kitty away. Jacques and Matide both give a glare at Barney. I like this animosity between Barney and Matide.

I just want to try and take care of the kitty. Matide still has their rings of astral self And just flaps them up and looks as big as possible Looming over Barney And just goes, not going to happen Little man Okay, if your kitty dies I guess it's got to eat more lives Don't you dare touch that kitty

Barney There will be hell to pay Why do you think I'm going to hurt the kitty? Because of everything you said. I say, hey, let's do a quick little icebreaker. Zip. Zip zap. No, your name is Chip.

What is there? Not that we are opposed to helping along the way when it's opportunity arises, but hopefully there is something good that can come out of it for us. Perhaps something that we could get out of this in exchange. I'd be happy to reward you with riches. The one catch is that they're located at the Pyramid of

Antique, which is what you see off in the distance to the northeast. But you're welcome to anything once you help me recover the headdress of Antique and my scimitars. Hey, full disclosure,

we were just on the run because people thought, no, Matide's giving me some shrugs. Matide takes all six wings and muffles Chip. Why? Why? Why give information out? You know, maybe he sees an illusion All six wings. And Muffles chip. She's like, why? Why give information out?

You know, maybe he sees an illusion out here in the desert. You know, mirage. And maybe he's thinking things and seeing things. Listen, friendship is one big trust fall, all right? And I don't want any surprises as the mummy is coming into our arms. So I was just going to lay it out on the table. Is this a bad thing? Yes. Okay.

I'm still muffling you. I'm still like all wings around you. Jacques is like ready to swipe at you. I think we operate on a need to know basis. Yes. Okay. You know, maybe if mummy asks us, we could be honest. But until then, we do not give up information.

Okay. I catch the hint. I'm sorry. We're really bad at having these asides out of earshot. You just do some stage whispering. What I meant to say was full disclosure. I got a lot of sand in my shoes. These are my sneakers.

Let's get going to the city, huh? Let's go to the antique roadshow, whatever it was called. What was it called? The city of antique? Pyramid of antique? There it is Bonus die Here we go That's the one

I'm down to get going Do you feel like we've adequately questioned Have we talked about What the mummy will do for us If we help? Riches Just riches? That's so ambiguous What would you prefer, Elka?

Oh, you know, maybe a signed poster of Dracula If you happen to have one I know you and him are close I was saying, if they're on, like, the council You know, like, the big, you know They're, like, one of the big guys that was in their parade Like, if we let them know our situation they scratch our backs we we we scratch their backs they scratch our backs nailed it there is a way in order to convey that without having to give all the

information out i'm treating this like a first date with my wife, Carol, for instance. When I first met her, I said, hey, full disclosure, I'm a murderer for hire. I'm not going to do that for you. I'm not going to kill you. But you need to know that I come with a little bit of luggage. And it's not the fancy Samsonite to me kind of stuff. It's the Walmart store-bought luggage. It's dirty. If I know anything about women,

you want to, on first date, say, I'm not going to murder you. That really makes them feel comfortable. So comfortable. It's good to specify. She thought it was a turn-on. She thought it was hot. And then we got married, and now she's missing. I didn't murder my wife.

The more you tell us you didn't murder your wife, the more I think you actually might have potentially murdered your wife. You know me. Look at this face. It's a face you can trust. Oh, you know what?

I actually do trust you. Yeah, so that works for us. We can proceed. Perhaps also, if you are trying to reconnect with some missing friends, we'll find them on the way. We have friends?

Are we trying to reconnect? Yeah, the alchemist. And the other one. Who was? Sorry, talking about my wife. I'm going to look at my notes. Frankenstein. Was Frankenstein with us?

Weezer went with you as well. Oh, he was on the train. Oh, yeah. Hey, don't forget. I forgot. You guys have a rug. You got a flying rug. Oh, yeah.

Chip has that, right? Yeah, yeah. Yeah. And we got the glass orb. And then the blue crystal earring, I think, is Elga has that. Elga had that. And then Barney has his ear horn. And a walking cane. And a cane. The alchemist's cane, right? Yeah. So you get ready to go and the mummy stops you for just a second and says, You all would stand out a little too easily among Karkasukans. Perhaps the first order of business should be to travel to Banish Bazaar to get the tattoos, obviously temporary ones, and any necessary equipment. ones and any necessary equipment.

That way you don't stand out as much and it will allow you to move about more easily. That's a good call. And can we get any of these linens from the fellows down there that we heard? Use those? Are those helpful? You probably want your

own from Banish. Fresh ones. Exactly. I got a roll of teepee paper. You carry that on you at all times? All the time. Right here in the old fanny pack. Fanny for the fanny.

You don't want to get caught out in the field with a mud butt. I'll tell you that much. It's mud with two Ds. Felicitations, my foul smelling friends. Did you know Stinky Dragon has a soundtrack you can listen to right now?

Go listen to it anywhere you listen to music. I guarantee it's on there. Just search for Tales from the Stinky Dragon. You can jam along to the music we use in our episodes. Great news, stinkers! The Stinky Dragon dice will be available on August 4th to everyone in the Rooster Teeth store. These sold out super quick at RTX, so get them while you can August 4th at store.roosterteeth.com.

All right. So you all are going to need to travel through the crowded city, but you need to, you know, try to keep a low profile while you do that on your way to Bonita Bazaar. So, you know, we need to do like a group check to see if you all are able to successfully navigate without being discovered. I want to point out that Chip has a disguise kit. So if that offers any sort of advantage or.

Yeah, you'll get advantage on that check then. Okay. So I guess everyone make a deception check. Chip, you get it at advantage. That's a 20. 21. 23. All right, Barney, your turn.

Five. 20, 21, 23, five. I think collectively we pass. He's at, yeah, disadvantage sucks. Well, no, he hits deception, so he doesn't have disadvantage. That was just his regular roll. He has disadvantage on stealth.

Oh. After your experience in Atro City, having to move discreetly, y'all are getting better at it. So you're able to navigate the city, you know, using guidance from the mummy. You make your way past the sandstone ruins and pass through an archway into the sprawling city of Karkasuk. Every sandy street is congested with locals dressed in linen garb going about their day. As you pass through a neighborhood, you take note

that there don't seem to be any children running through the streets. The mummy chimes in. There is no need for offspring in our city. After all, Carcassoucan lives span many, many years before they pass on to the afterlife. You continue onward, crossing a sandstone bridge across a wide-flowing canal. The wide-open landscape narrows harshly into a canyon, and you notice a sign that reads Boniche Bazaar. Everyone roll a perception check. Elga, you probably

stand out a little bit in this here crowd. Maybe I'm just a very short, older person. Seven. Sixteen. Twenty-two. Twenty-one. Chip, a gentle breeze drifts by and you are immediately bombarded with a myriad of aromas.

Saffron, cinnamon, honey, and myrrh. Oh, farted! They're lovely, but it's really starting to give you a little bit of a headache. Somebody toted. Mateed, your ears are filled with the constant chatter of haggling and commotion of footsteps echoing off the canyon walls. You survey your surroundings and see stall after stall of vendors peddling their wares from weapons to clothing to knickknacks. Barney and Elga,

amongst the markets, you spot a booth offering tattoos. You wonder if maybe they offer temporary tattoos. Furthermore, as you're considering which market to visit first, you hear something odd. A cough. You know, not unusual to most folks,

but to amongst folks with everlasting life, it's kind of an oddity. Is the cough coming from someone inside the store? Yeah, they're in the market. In the market, sorry. Yeah. I want to make sure you're picturing, like, it's kind of an open market. You're not, like, in one specific, like, store.

Open-air market, kind of. Yeah, lots of different stalls, you know, selling various things. What do you guys want to do? Maybe we should first get those tattoos, You know, have them on right away so that if people question us, we could just show them that we belong. Maybe they practice the art of henna. It's like a permanent semi.

It's like, well, it's temporary, but it's more permanent than usual temporary. That was good. That was good. Just a word sniff Yeah Okay could I go walk up to the tattoo

Person section Stall Yeah there's a sign at the tattoo stall That reads ESO's ink It's ISO ESO reeks of rosemary and brimstone That's a lovely smell Welcome You smell so good Iso reeks of rosemary and brimstone. That's a lovely smell. Welcome.

You smell so good. Oh, thank you. It's a custom fragrance I made myself. So I hear that you give the tattoos that people in the city have, but, you know, I'm so indecisive that I'm trying to figure out what a nice place is. Me and my friends, you know,'re all indecisive. Is there a way you could do like a temporary one

so we could try it out for a little bit to see in case we want to permanently put it there? Make a charisma check. Oh no. Elga's got the Riz. Nope, Eldica does not. I think it's you're the one who's the Riz of the party. I am the Riz. I lucked out though, I rolled an 18. You did.

18 is a good roll. That's Rizzy. I only have a plus one on that, so. I think we can accommodate that. We have a couple of different tattoos I can offer. Either an Illuminator's tattoo or a Masquerade tattoo. I could potentially make it so it's temporary. I'm specifically looking for, like, a tattoo that's brown and it's a sigil with like two swords and an eye on it.

Oh, of course. Everyone knows that tattoo around here. Yes. But I can make it any design you want. Well, that one I think is the one that we all have our eye on, if I'm not mistaken. You know, it's a bachelor party and uh we're all just wanting to get matching tattoos we're feeling a little goofy had a couple drinks you don't want a butterfly are you sure no although i am interested in a in another tattoo separate

permanent this is carol has a heart we can talk about that later. Dagger through it. Yeah. A pizza cutter. She does love the pizza. Pizza. Info checking to make sure I understood you correctly, Gus, when you were giving this information. The double-sided scimitar is a symbol of... What was it exactly again? The citizenship. The carcassic?

It is citizenship? Okay. Yeah, the citizenship carcassic, yeah. Okay, well well where do people typically get it there's no one common place i've tattooed arms legs backs foreheads second foreheads maybe just the arm i'll get mine on the back of my hand that way whenever someone says are you sure you know this place and i can can say, oh, I know it like the back of my hand. And then I say, whoa, whoa, who put that there?

I have a question. Yeah? I got a few barriers of entry for tattoos. One, I'm feathered and two, I'm a ghost. They go to tattoo you and it just goes right through you. I mean, I am you know, corporeal to a degree.

But do I have pores? Can you do it on your beak or something? Oh, there are special inks that apply magic tattoos. Okay. Can you tattoo a cat? What do you want? Like your driver's license number? No, I was just thinking about Jacques.

Jacques needs to blend in as well. I feel like Jacques is going to have to lay low for this mission. Matide has an overhead scarf. Jacques is in the little hood of the scarf on my shoulder, crouching and kind of hiding. That's often where Jacques likes to hang. Crouching Matide, hidden Jacques? Yep.

Is he giving you like a little back neck massage? Yeah, he's making biscuits back there. It's the best. Okay, so Chip, you wanted it on the back of one of your hands. Which hand, left or right? Oh, we'll go with the left hand. Left. Elga, I don't know if you ever said where you wanted it.

I'll get it on my forearm, on the inside of my forearm. Which arm? The right one. Okay. It's not trick questions, by the way. I'm just like curious so we know. Just for details, yeah. Yeah, for flavor text. Like where is it going? Barney or Mateed I'm just like curious so we know just for details yeah flavor text like where is it going Barney

or Mateed I guess like back of forearm the inside of your forearm the inside Chip if you don't mind grabbing one end of my pulling the skin it's a lot of skin I pull his sleeve up and realize he is completely tatted up like Barney's got a full sleeve

I don't remember getting those that's very good just to verify you were I think you were like Barney's got a full sleeve. I don't remember getting those. That's very good. Just to verify, I think you were holding up your left hand, Chris, for Barney? Okay. Is that where the other ones had it?

I think I said it was on their right arm, and I was thinking like their upper arm. I'll do my right arm then. Okay. Yeah, Mateed goes for, I like the backs of your palm thing, so Mateed mimics Chip. Same hand as well as Chip?

Opposite. I'm a trinciter. 20 silver each. Oh. Yikes. It's okay, guys. It's my bachelor party. Wink.

Tattoos are on the house. Oh, nice. What's copper to silver? They're on you. How much? So one silver is 10 copper. I have so much copper. So that was 20 each, 80.

800. 800 copper. Would that be right? Yeah. Okay. Oh, you're so sweet, Chip. You pay for a tattoo? Oh, yeah, yeah, gang. Yeah, your friend's so sweet.

Paying in all copper. Thank you. Yeah, I was going to say it's all pennies. Hey, here's a little tip for you. And then I give him one additional copper piece. Whoa. Tipping isn't necessarily even a custom here.

You know, I'm a big shot. What can I say? Thanks, Big Spender. No, my name's Chip. So we get our tattoos? Yeah. Okay. You each get temporary tattoos. Everyone said temporary, right? Everyone gets a temporary tattoo. Yeah. And, right? Everyone gets a temporary tattoo. Yeah.

And you're still out and about in Bownish Bazaar. Where was that cough coming from? Make a perception check. D to D to D to 16. It seems like it was coming from a customer at one of these stalls, like three stalls over from where you are. I walk over and stand next to them as though I'm browsing next to them and do a little bit of side eye. Okay.

Just seems to be a citizen. That doesn't look too different from one of the people that you were fighting who were trying to bury the mummy earlier. You know, wrapped up, kind of stiff humanoid. But aren't those the bad people? Possibly. The Hordum? Why would they be the Hordum? If they look like the people that were burying the mummy.

But they are coughing. Yeah. I cough next to them. People don't really seem to take too much note of it. Okay. Welcome to Jade's Jars. How may I help you? The vendor of this stall has locked eyes with you, Mateed,

smiling a big smile at you with teeth made out of various metals. Cool. Pretty cool wings you got there, friend. Jesus, this guy is a bit aggressive. What wares am I seeing in front of me? By the way, if you want to make me uncomfortable in public and you're like a worker at a place, do this.

Don't acknowledge my existence when I'm shopping. It makes me want to jump into a hole. What can I help you with? Everything's 20% off today. And if you go in the back, there's a sale rack. Can I help you with anything? You look strong enough to save a child's life. Do you want to sign up for this thing?

John, you and I, I think, are the same at this. I just want to be invisible. In front of Jaid, you see various jars laid out. I've got various blessings that can be available to you for low, low prices. Are they jars of clay? No, you look at them, and they're jars, and they each appear to have a different animal that's on the top like a stopper for the jars you got peanut butter and or jelly are you there too chip

this is just chip poking out from behind the teeth's wings i'll sign up for whatever you want one of them's a crocodile there's a jackal there's a falcon and there's a baboon you can buy them or you can trade. Let's make a deal. What do they do? Each of these babies has a different purpose. The crocodile here, if you open or break this, you receive a blessing of the crocodile. Metagame perspective, it would give you advantage on strength-based checks.

This baby here is the jar of the jackal. If you open or break this, you get a blessing of the jackal. Which would increase your AC by three for a minute. For a minute? Yeah, that's like ten rounds of combat. Is there a blessing of a donkey in there? You also don't need food or drink to sustain yourself. Are you here also talking to him, Chip?

Oh yeah, absolutely. Oh, he locks eyes with you and says, where'd you get that? Get what? He's pointing at the rug. That's my rug! That's part of my missing shipment. You need to give me that, where'd you get that? Get what? He's pointing at the rug. That's my rug. That's part of my missing shipment. You need to give me that back. Did you steal that? Dip, you just had this out in the open.

Disengage. I want to leave. I want to leave. No, no, no. Where are you going? That's my rug. You need to give that back. Nothing says innocence like running away after an accusation.

I don't see your name on it. This is my rug. I bought it back in Grotev. Oh, Chip is lying. Yeah, I am. I'm going to roll this dice. Yeah, make a deception check. That is a... What'd you roll? What was the base number before modifiers? What was it?

What was it, Chip? Was that a one? Was that a one? That was a critical fail. Look at the tag on that rug. It says property of J.E. on it. Gee willikers, it does say that. Here you go.

I am so sorry. Oh my gosh, what a oopsie daisy. It seems that our friend was able to return your rug. It is so fortuitous. Perhaps you could give him one of the jars. Yeah. I appreciate that. Thank you for being such an upright person. Despite that face

you have, you are welcome to take any jar you want. Alright, so there's jackal, crocodile. I also have the jar of the falcon, which gives you the blessing of the falcon. It cures you of poisons, disease, and curses, and gives you resistance against poison damage. Lastly, we have the Jar of the Baboon,

which gives you the blessing of the baboon. And increases your movement speed by 20 feet, and you gain a climbing speed of 20 feet as well. I want the baboon one. Does it make my butt red? Here you go, friend. Fair trade for an honest devil like you. All right.

Isn't Chip like bright, like pink already? He's purple. Purple. I'm purple. Blessing of the baboon. It's the jar of the baboon. Burning around there. If you join up with them.

And I am relinquishing my magic carpet. All right. Honestly, I'm glad to get rid of it because it was stressing me out knowing like it was like on me somehow, but not in like a good looking way. And like, I don't know. I think you're the only person in D&D history to care what you look like while carrying a very useful item. Just a big old carpet.

What am I doing to this thing? I'm a stealth guy. That allows you to fly. Yeah, you know. I am interested in the jackal. Ooh, what do you have for trade? I hold out my orb of direction, and I go, is this of any interest to you? Ooh, orb of direction.

A very sought-after device. Yes, I'll gladly trade you for the jar of the jackal. I'm suspicious that he was so keen to take that immediately without any haggling by my friend Gustavo Sorolla. What do you mean? He just wants to make a deal. No, I don't trust when Gus is like, yeah, totally. Out of curiosity,

how much for just a monetary exchange for these jars? Jar of the Jackal. I can let that go for ten gold. Jesus. That rug must have been very valuable to him It was a flying rug, yeah Yeah, that's true

Yeah, I'm gonna buy it, I'm gonna buy it Ten gold? Yeah Alright Ten gold, and you get to keep your orb of direction Yeah, I'm gonna keep my orb of direction I have a question Is there perhaps a stall here who could

I could turn in some precious stones for money, perhaps No place like that Because most vendors will trade with you directly for the gems, if that's what you're keen on. Understood. Okay. I will take ten gold out of my inventory and add me a jar of jackal. Yep. How about a weapons guy?

Any weapons dudes here? Oh, you want to talk to Nina and Alexandra. Okay. Where are they? Where are they? Where are they? Jaya points across the walkway there to another stall that's just across. Can I hold up my jar in the direction of the person who coughed and try to get a better look at this person? I'm just like, they coughed.

You said they don't cough in a place where people are immortal. I'm curious about this individual, and I want a better look as I look like I'm looking at my jar. That's smart. I'll say while you were engaged with Jaiyid talking about the jar and the orb, that person moved on and is no longer standing at that stall. Where are they headed? Yeah, could you see where they went? Could Matiz see?

No, they just disappeared into the throng of people walking in the marketplace. You guys, I'm worried that this is a bad person amongst the crowd who might try to stir up some bad things. Is there a D&D version of like Craigslist like Miss Connections? Can we do something like that? Believe me, I tried it with Carol and it ain't working so good. I was large Eric Cochran with smelled like croissants. You were coughing. I was your tiefling husband.

Your name is Carol. I miss you dearly. Please come back to my arms. I miss you dearly. Please come back to my arms. I miss you. Weapons. You want to go there? Yeah. Are all four of you going over there?

Yeah, I'll go. All four of you walk over to Nina and Alexandra's armory. There's two shopkeepers, Alexandra and Nina, obviously. They both have scars all over their bodies, and they have an array of weapons laid out in front of them. Yeah. What do you want? Oh, Nina and Alexandra,

good to... Oh, the reputation precedes you. The best arms dealer in this side of the pyramid. What do we got for us? What do you got, huh? Mm-hmm. Laid out in front of them, you see an axe, a scimitar, a staff, and a sling. Ooh. Could we see

if the scimitar looks at all like the one that is missing from the mummy? The gold one. The mummy, you know, is with you and does not seem interested. This does not catch her eye. So you don't think it's the same one. Are these magical or enchanted in any way? Each of these items has their own special use.

Can you elaborate? Depends. Which one are you asking about? Do I have to go through the whole menu for you? Sure, I'd like a tasting menu. Here we go. It's gonna be one of those days. Okay, here we go. We got

the Axe of the Scarab here. A well-known axe that helps improve your martial prowess. It makes unhittable foes easier to hit. Elga's eyes widen. Also, if you let the axe fly, you can recall it to your hand.

Oh, like a boomer axe. Elga, Elga, you get that. Is it called Yorn Bjorn? Additionally, if you're the target of a spell, you may use your reaction to counter that spell with the axe. Dang! How much is this axe?

For a pretty girl like you, I'm sure we can come up with a deal, whether it's money or a trade of some kind. Oh. Oh, maybe a trade. What are you willing to take for it? Well, what could be of interest to us? Oh, well, so many things. May I offer you two hand axes axes two for the price of one

these aren't just any two hand axes these are the hand axes of the blood spire oh they're so powerful they're the most powerful yes many generations they have been passed down and have done very aggressive damage to many foes. Yeah, I've seen this small, innocent-looking child wield these things. Entire armies fall into her feet. Oh, the humanity. Chip, make a deception check. I got you, Elga. That's an 18.

That's my boy, Chip. Elga, you make a persuasion check. Okay. So good, these axes. 15. God, y'all actually rolled enough. 15, 18. How's this gonna work out, Gus? Alexandra, you know, picks up the axes and, you know, kind of runs her finger

over the blade, like testing the sharpness and says, These don't look necessarily of higher quality, but you say these are axes of the blood spire? Yes. Yas, yeah. Blood spire. Blood spire, that's the one.

And they've been passed down through your family for generations? So many generations, yes. We lost track of the generations. And they've been passed down through your family for generations? So many generations, yes. We lost track of the generations. Hundreds and thousands of years. Fine. It's a deal. Fantastic.

Okay, so I will remove both hand axes from my inventory. Careful, those are dangerous. I know. One false move and I could take down the whole bazaar. Yeah, and you can add axe of the scarab, Elka. All right, Nina and Alexandra, tell us what else you got. I want to hear the rest of these. We also have the Kopesh of the Desert Tempest. This is the weapon that looks like a scimitar, by the way.

of the Desert Tempest. This is the weapon that looks like a scimitar, by the way. This Kopesh is Stormforged, so it helps you strike at difficult-to-hit enemies. Additionally, it is imbued with the power of lightning as well. When you score an exceptional hit with this weapon, your foes have a chance of becoming stunned. Oh, my. Is the lightning loud

when you hit it, or could it be like stealth lightning? I don't think it's really stealthy. What if I traded you one axe of the scarab for it? The lightning isn't very loud, but it's a very

bright flash, so it's difficult to contain that. One would almost think that following the lightning might come a thunderous sound after using it. Oh, maybe that's the scabbard. Is the scabbard a thunder? Oh. You going to buy this? Nope. I'm looking at the sling.

I'm looking at the sling as well. I'm curious. We have the staff of Candor. It's a magical staff, of course. While holding it, you get improvements on your spell. If you're a spellcaster, you get a bonus for your checks to determine whether or not someone's attempting to deceive you. Additionally, if you're pure of heart,

you can use a spell zone of truth once per long rest. Oh, that sounds like a fun little stick. Gross. How much for that? It would go great with your kind eyes, old man. Well, that's very nice of you to say. Do you want to trade or buy it? How much money would it be? Alexandra and Nina, you know, whisper for a little bit back and forth. We can let that go for 15 gold. 15 gold. Okay.

And what if I threw in a limited edition, a scroll of a dragon's body? No, not the scroll of the dragon's body. It passed down from generation to generation. So many. I also have this I Survived Teenix shirt. Oh, the ancient I Survived

Teenix shirt. The one that's so valuable, you can sell it for so many gold on eBay. The three of you not counting Mateed make deception checks. Mateed is not participating although you kind of wish Mateed was because Mateed's got

pretty good modifiers for deception. That's a nine. Sorry, Bernie. Eight. All single digits. All single digits. I rolled a one plus three is four. You used up all your good juju by getting that axe. That's okay.

It's affordable. If Barney needs help, I can offer a loan. This teacup was overprinted. I think they're being used as insulation for housing now in Atro City. Well, it's certainly hot here. They don't know what they're missing. Well, I also have this gemstone that's worth at least 50 or 60 gold. Ooh, perhaps we can make a trade with that.

You might even end up with a little extra coin in your pocket. That sounds lovely. Yeah, if you want to trade that, then just take the balance in gold and you can add that to your inventory. Oh, there you go. So it was 15? Yeah. So if it's worth 50, then you get 35 gold as well from the exchange.

And it's called the Staff of Candor, C-A-N-D-O-R. The Sling! Lastly, here we have the Sling of Sandstorms. It's enchanted with a desert's eye, which helps you hit difficult to hit foes. It can activate certain charges as well as allow you to either increase some of your force damage or potentially create a whirlwind of course stand around you this causes your foes to struggle to stay on their feet i like this if your foes fall they become blinded and take damage blame me likey i know i'm a teet and it's got like a whole wind thing

that just fits your vibe it would go great with your scarf which is very very fetching by the way oh merci beaucoup yes I'm interested in this thing how much for it in just pure gold just gold we can let this go for 15

okay I also have a very... Do you have something passed down from generations that's very valuable? No, I do not. So many generations. Nope, that's not what we are doing right now. Thousands of years I have searched for

what my team has. Just a hand comes over like Elga's face just getting pushed back into the sand. I have also a valuable gemstone that I would like to exchange for. And if you could give me back the remainders, that would be wonderful. Absolutely.

We're happy to trade in gems here. Great. Mine's worth 100 gold. Ooh. Okay, yeah. Then you happy to trade in gems here. Great. Mine's worth 100 gold. Ooh, okay, yeah, then you can trade that in. You get the item and 85 gold back. And it was called the Sling of Dorudo Sandstorm. I'm feeling a little bit of envy here. Everyone's got these cool new toys.

You got a jar. Did you get a jar? I got a jar, but get a jar i got a jar but it's not it's not a weapon and i am the probably least uh damage dealing member of this team but i'm glad for everyone i'm happy the sling was obviously a perfect fit for my feed do you got any like stealthy weapons like any like oh the The knife of a thousand silent sorrows. The knife of how to find my wife. Oh, yes. The compass of finding my loved one.

My knife. Very nice. There it is. We found it. We found the joke. Shirley, you have a back room with your most precious and coolest weapons, huh? Unfortunately, all we have is what you see in front of you. Wish we had something you like, sir.

Chip, it seems like there are two hand axes up there that are very rare. I am not strong enough to deal the blood spires. So the scimitar, what is the scimitar? Just real quick, run me through the scimitar and like the meta stats if you could. It's a plus one bonus to attack rolls. On a hit, you deal an additional 1d4 lightning damage. If you score a critical hit, your target makes a constitution saving throw.

If they fail, they're stunned until the end of their next turn. So what's the damage? 1d6 slashing plus 1d4 lightning. Okay. Yeah. I don't know. Maybe I should do that because my arm blade's 1d8 plus 2 so it's like it's it's uh it's pretty close i don't know gang what do you think do you think i should you

think i should go get it this one also does like i said have a plus one to attack rolls as well which i don't think your arm blade has currently no i don't know gang get it i mean i always go by the classic phrase off review which is is often translated as treat yourself. All right. Well, as my feathered friend here said, offrez-vous. Hey, let's let's make a trade. I think you just said something very offensive in my language. Forgiveness. OK, so in my many journeys across the land, I've discovered crazy things. Crazy things.

Things you wouldn't believe. Oh, are we trading a story? Somehow everything has gone dark and there's a spotlight on Chip. Visiting the scary area, was it area 52 or 15? Mateet stands behind Chip and starts gusting up some wind to make it all mysterious. The wretched land of Area 15. I came across a food so

horrifying and powerful. I am one of the only ones to take it with me on my travels. May I present to you the green screaming lollipops. I have three of them. Very rare item.

Barney runs off afraid. I forgot you had those. Three lollipops. We don't get to see those very often around here. You may never see them unless you visit Theria 15. You know, we could trade those and some some gold we could discount the price a little bit with these you could trade these and 10 gold yeah what the heck that sounds like a fair deal what's copper to gold it said it says that indian db on okay so you said 10 so, here we go. Here's 700 copper.

So that takes care of seven gold. And then silver, so that 30 silver. I offer 300 copper. I want this all copper. I offer 300 copper. Okay. Oh, thanks, I guess. Be careful with those lollipops.

Heed my warning. Hello. Alexandra scribbles a sign that says scary lollipops and puts them on the table. For 400 gold. What's the thing called again, the scimitar? It's the Khopesh of the Desert Tempest. It's K-H-O-P-E-S-H.

We all got new weapons. Shopping montage. Hey, hey, you guys, come over here. Come shop over here. Who's saying that? The vendor at the next stall over is pointing at you, trying to wave you all over with kind of a mangled hand. I'll walk over.

Welcome to Rin's Rags. We can outfit you with really high quality cups. Oh, we need rags. I know the place is called Rin's Rags, but these are high quality vestments. It's an insult to call them merely rags. And why did you name your shop Rin's Rags if you didn't want

us to call them rags? It's alliteration, you know? People like that. Oh, yeah. Yeah, but the PR. Let's talk about that, you know? Like I said. Oh, yeah. Yeah, but the PR, let's talk about that, you know? Like I said, he waved you over with kind of a mangled hand. It looks like it was crushed at some point and just never amputated. It's kind of gross looking. And he's got a few different items laid out in front of him.

Boy, do we know someone who could fix that hand up and replace it with another one. Are you making a reference to Kyborg? No, how we... Frankenstein. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Who is Kyborg? No, how we... Frankenstein. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Who is Kyborg? He sounds cool. He sounds kooky and fun.

I killed him in a past life. Oh. Okay. Is the hand like... Can I try and mend it? I think mend is for non-biological items. Yeah, I don't know, but like, it's not, I don't know. Yeah, mending's for like John said, like inanimate objects.

It's like Hermione casting Oculus Reparo. Well, if you ever need a new hand, there's a whole like little place with the water. And then there's some hands in there that I think are up for grabs. No pun intended. Oh, this thing? Oh, I forget about it all the time. We should stop fixating on this person's disability. Do we need rags to like blend in, right? Yes.

We are actually in the market for some new apparel. This is perfect. How much for a full outfit to make us look like as beautiful as the locals? Run-of-the-mill outfit like that is a five cup. Oh. Oh. Wow. That is the bulk of Rinsrag's business.

However, we do have some special merchandise if you're looking for anything else. Oh, dang. We got more time for shopping? If you want. All right. What is the specialist of the merchandise you offer, Rin? Okay, I'll show you my four most special items. You're going to love them.

Oh, four. Perfect. The perfect number. I have here the wrappings of the antique. They look like wrappings that you put around your hand. While wearing these, you become stronger against necrotic damage and you age half as fast as normal. Oh, I might need that.

If you attack while wearing these, you can use an action to attempt to wrap one creature near you with them by making an unarmed strike. If you're successful, your target is grappled. Until the grapple ends, your target is restrained. Additionally, you can use a bonus action to drain a creature you grappled and any damage you do, you regain as life. I like this. Wow. That's cool.

Let's see what's the rest. Let's just get the whole package. Yeah, yeah. Spill the beans there. Let's taste it all. I also have the Robe of Serpents. It's a stylish silk garment, very popular amongst the wealthy nobles and retired assassins. This robe is emblazoned with stylized serpents, all of which are brightly colored. You can transform one of the robe's serpents into a giant poisonous snake. The snake falls from the robe, slithers and acts alongside you.

It can identify your friends from your foes,, slithers and acts alongside you. It can identify your friends from your foes and it attacks your foes for you. Amazing, right? By the way, Chip has perked up like a meerkat. Unfortunately, once a snake has detached from the robe, it can't really return to the robe.

It will dismiss into a hummus puff of smoke in about an hour. Is it like once per long rest that I get it? How many snakes are on it? There are... Tell me there's not a finite amount of snakes. Seven snakes on it. Are you kidding me?

What? There's ammo? Oh, my gosh. How do I refill my snakes? Once they're gone, they're gone. No way to refill them. Who needs more than seven giant poisonous snakes anyways? An assassin!

A guy that kills for a living. Who's on a desperate search for his wife. That could be anybody though, not necessarily anyone here that you're talking to in the moment. Yeah, I don't know why I'm getting all riled up. You're right, Matita, or Elga, I'm so sorry. Continue. I also have eyes of minute seeing. These are crystal lenses that can fit over your eyes. While wearing them, you can see much better than normal, out to a range of about one foot. You have advantage on investigation checks that rely on sight while scanning an area or studying an object.

That's cool. Some people here could use help with investigation. Okay, lastly, I have the Scarf of the Sightless. You could put the scarf over your eyes to gain tremor sense out to 15 feet. While the scarf is worn this way, you are deaf and blind with irregard to your other senses. What is tremor state? Tremor sense is like you can pinpoint the origin of vibrations within, in this case, 15 feet. It's like kind of a way to see and identify things

within 15 feet of you. So say we were like in a situation where none of us can see, I guess. Yeah, it's like Daredevil. Or if you're blind, if you're blind and deaf, maybe. It's Daredevil. Because we've gotten blinded before. This would be on purpose.

How much for the and wraps? The wrappings of Antique are 15 gold. If that is all right with the rest of you, I would love to buy these items. Yeah, go for it. I did not have my eye on this one. If that indicates what I'm looking at. Mateed already has like a nice little wrapping kind of a motif going on with some of their fashion. So this kind of just works with it.

It's also like you're a monk, right? Yeah. So it's like, yeah, it's like fisticuffs. Rin turns his focus back to you, Chip, and says, perhaps you could find a mage somewhere in the world who could re-impew the robe with serpents? I don't know about these things, but I know it's possible. It's as if a higher power just told you that

and you're now implementing this change on the goal. Interesting. Buy them. How much are the snake boxers it's a robe it's not boxers but what if i like my shouldy it's a it's a shirt and a hoodie you know should he wear it should he not 15 gold how about How about trades? You guys like to trade. Mmm, I love trades. What do you have? Oh, oh. Come with me on a journey, if you will, to a scary land filled with dragon bones. Dragon bones. Oh, it's so scary. Trees, twisted and wretched and evil looking.

Very sticky. So, so sticky. Here is a jar of trinkle sap. Oh, be careful. You have the weirdest stuff in your inventory. Yeah, I always think of Chris as being the one who collects all the weird things in the campaign, but really it's Chip, apparently.

The screaming lollipops were going to be a distraction, but, you know, whatever. Didn't get to that. And then the treacle sap is to make someone stick in place during combat, but this is all, like, homebrew crap. Use it, use it. Oh, the treacle sap! Parentheses

sticky! Hmm. Treacle sap. It can be difficult to acquire treacle sap. There is some value in this. Rin seems to be somewhat familiar with it. I can give you, let's say, 10 gold worth of credit for this treacle sap. Oh, only 10 gold. I suppose so.

I can part ways with it. Talk about treacle sap. He didn't hear that. He didn't hear me say that. Okay. So I pay five gold left? Yeah, and get rid of that sap. I do wonder if there's ever a time

the sap would have come in handy for us to climb something. Nah. And then 50 silver is five gold, right? Yes. Okay. I'm so sorry. I ran out of copper, so I'm going to have to give you silver.

That's okay. That's fine. Spins just the same. That's a lot of coins. Anybody else want anything? I would like the lenses for the eyes. Unless you, Barney, wanted this. No.

No. We could share. I don't think breaking them in half would be any good. Yeah, that's true. You get one and I get one. We could share. I don't think breaking them in half would be any good. Yeah, that's true. You get one, I get one. Just do that. Little heterochromia. 15 gold if that's something that interests you.

How about 10? She's just flat out bartering now. I love it. Make a persuasion check. No, I think 15 actually sounds pretty good. What'd you roll? A one. Plus? A one. Plus?

Plus one. Yeah. 15 is as low as I can go on that. Okay. I also, in my inventory, I forget if I changed these into money already, but in my inventory, I have two gemstones worth 50 gold pieces. I don't think you did. Okay.

So I'll give one of those and then get the... 35. This is not turning out too bad. I like this town. It's a good town. Yeah. Got the robe of serpents. Yeah.

And I'm going to turn them into boxers. I guess I'll get this. What was the fourth item? Scarf of the sightless. I'll take the blind man scarf. Oh, yeah. Quality item. Scarf of the sightless could be yours for

15 gold. Would you accept 12? Make a persuasion check. 14. Let's see what Rin's roll is. Bad roll. Bad roll. 19. That's a good roll. No, I have to be pretty firm on the price at 15. bye-bye do you walk

away did barney just leave yeah as if you're not no no i bought it sorry you didn't say bye-bye i'm walking from the deal or unless he's saying bye-bye like oh yeah that's like that's a good tactic though if he just kind of walks away it's what you do you know 15 gold scarf of the silence okay what color is the scarf it walks away it's what you do you know 15 gold scarf of the sightless what color is the scarf it's modeled it's like got purple and blue and green colors on it oh very fetching we also have to get like regular garments too oh yeah yeah yeah i think y'all were going to uh rin offered them for five copper a piece yeah Yeah, green, silk, because I'm purple, so I want to look like one Barney the Dinosaur or Unit One from Evangelion.

Well, they're not silk. They're linen and green. Yeah, I've got some green linen. Neato, I'll take it. Five copper. Here you go. Five copper. Thank you.

Oh, God, are you okay? Suddenly, you hear someone to your left start to hack and wheeze uncontrollably. Ah! Then another person to your right screams at the sight of their arms and legs swelling with warts and boils. One after another, more people in the crowd start to either cough or swell until... Spilling out of people's throats are cankered frogs riddled with warts and boils. One after another, diseased frogs leap forth from people's mouths and quickly grow in numbers.

One hops near your feet and with one final croak, it explodes. Boom! Find out what happens on the next episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon. The plague. Well, thanks for listening, everybody. We'll be back next week with another episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon,

maybe with frogs. Ribbit. This episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon was produced by Ben Ernst, written, edited, and composed by Micah Reisinger, with additional editing work by David Saunier. This week's Arrow question was submitted by Odin's Keeper on Reddit. Thanks, Odin's Keeper. Here's a quick shout-out for folks that interacted with us on social media recently. This week's arrow question was submitted by Odin's Keeper on Reddit. Thanks, Odin's Keeper.

Here's a quick shout out for folks that interacted with us on social media recently. Here's some NPCs named after them in this very episode. Ryder Wajod, aka The Mummy, named after user Ryda7s on Reddit. HiLectorMishNomer, named after at Mr. UnderscoreMishNomer on Twitter. Jaid the Jar Maker, named after at GraceJaid on Twitter. Nina and Alexandra the Kind Armorers, named after at LilaKid on twitter nina and alexandra the kind uh armorers named after at lila clupin 630 on twitter rin the rag maker named after at j10 shanu to konoko on instagram get a shorter name at j10 shanu to konoko uh and iso the ink artist named after user isotope 836 on reddit also want to give a special thanks to some friends who provided voiceover for characters in this episode.

Ryder Rajad, voiced by Hannah McCarthy, at hihello underscore Hannah. Jayet the Jar Maker, voiced by Cameron Hay, at Cameron Hay Films. Nina and Alexandra the Kind Armourers, voiced by Sarah Weems, at Sarah K. Weems. Bryn the Ragmaker, voiced by Cody Hawkins, at Hot Hand Hawkins.

Iso the Ink Artist, voiced by Braylon Calhounoun at Bray Calhoun. Tune in next time for another thrilling episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon. you