Tales from the Stinky Dragon - Karcasuuk Coup - C02 Ep 19 - Sphoenix From The Ashes

Episode Date: September 13, 2023

The party attempts to interrupt High Lector Mish Nomer and Pharaoh H’Dee’s ritual! Check out our merch and follow us on Twitter, Instagram, TikTok and more: https://linktr.ee/TalesFromTheStinkyDr...agon Go to http://shopify.com/dragon to sign up for a $1-a-month trial period. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:00:00 This is a Rooster Teeth production. Felicitations to all you fire snakes! Slither on into the stinky dragon, take a taste of our latest tonic. Never hurts to ask. It's a mixture of Rattler Roast Coffee, Cindermonth Sticks, Ember Boa Berries, and a bite of lemon. One sip of the Serpentine Sauce is enough to satiate your inner salamander.
Starting point is 00:00:33 Previously, our adventurers proceeded into the Pyramid of Antique, participated in precarious and perilous ploys and traps. But they finally found Pharaoh Hadee and his lectors mid-ritual summoning us phoenix. Can the party stop the summoning in time or will they fail in a fiery fallout? Grab a guzzler and let's get back to this gassy goss. Hee hee hee hee.
Starting point is 00:01:00 Don't you okay today? I got a nosebleed. Oh, you got a nosebleed so you have a little piece of tissue paper in your nose. That sounded so soft, like you're on the verge of tears. Do we need to stop down? Are you okay? I'm trying to avoid swallowing too much blood. Oh, no.
Starting point is 00:01:14 I feel like that's appropriate for this campaign, too. Do you want me to get you a tampon? No, I improvised one here. Hello, everyone. My name is Gustavo Sorolla. I'm the dungeon master of our putrid party. I'm going to hit our four players with an arrow. This week's role-playing war up question is,
Starting point is 00:01:30 who is your character's personal hero? Besides me, obviously. Oh, that was going to be my answer. Start all of us. No free inspiration dice here. I can take this one first. Okay. Hey there, Chip Payne, played by Blaine Gibson.
Starting point is 00:01:45 And I'm a tiefling rogue. Stop laughing at me. Because you looked at your phone to remember what your character was. My hero, it's Mike Haney. It's my papa. Oh, that's sweet. And even though I was afraid of him for the first, oh, 13, 14 years of my life, and we don't align politically.
Starting point is 00:02:05 And I have very vivid memories of him screaming right in my face on the sporting fields. All right, now who's chips? Yeah. I still love my papa. What's going on with Mike Haney these days? He went into retirement and then he got out of retirement
Starting point is 00:02:20 and he's coaching the ball again. He just can't get off the field. So going into retirement and coming out of retirement runs into the coaching the ball again. He just can't get off the field. So going into retirement and coming out of retirement runs into the family then? Yeah. Sorry, I'm actually telling partly stories of my dad. He retired from football and he's like, I miss
Starting point is 00:02:35 football. And now he's back in football. Well, it's good to know. A little bit of Chip Haney lore there. A little bit of Blaine Gibson lore as well mixed in there. I can go next. I'm Chris Damaris, and I play Barney Farney, the human cleric. And my personal hero is also like Chip's.
Starting point is 00:02:55 It's not his dad. It's my dad. Oh. Is your papa still alive? No. Oh. No, but he always kept me and my family safe. And he was brave. So he's my hero.
Starting point is 00:03:06 Wow. All right, who's next? I will go next. For Elga, her personal hero is the one and only Elga. Yes, Elga is her own personal hero. She is brave. She is strong. She needs no man.
Starting point is 00:03:22 But secondary hero would be Dracula. Oh, yeah. We did see a little bit of that earlier in the campaign. I need no man, but this one man. If there was one. And I guess my father is somewhere on the list. Who knows? Since Elga is Elga's hero, is Elga named
Starting point is 00:03:38 after another Elga? That's a good question. I don't know. Okay. I'm Barbara Dunkelman. I voice Elga von Brass, the half-elf female barbarian vampire. Oh, I didn't realize you Okay. I'm Barbara Dunkelman. I voice Elga von Brath, the half-elf female barbarian vampire. Oh, I didn't realize you're half-elf. Yeah. Half-elf. Elga didn't really get to, you know, be around her mother very much before her mother left her.
Starting point is 00:03:55 So maybe her mother named her after someone else. Interesting. Elga lore. Elga's actually the first Elga ever. Ever. In this world. This world and our own human history. Yeah. No one named Elga lore. Elga is actually the first Elga ever. Ever. In this world. This world and our own human history. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:04:08 No one named Elga. Kids listening. She's the first. She's the first. What about Matide? Bonjour. I'm John Reisinger. I play Matide Confucius, who's an Eric Cochran ghost monk.
Starting point is 00:04:17 Matide has never really subscribed to the idea of idolizing other people or having an hero. Seems unnecessary. Just better yourself as much as possible and focus on that. With no like figure to aspire to, just personal improvement for the sake of personal improvement.
Starting point is 00:04:32 Yes, that should be motivation enough in life. You do not need to compare yourself to other people. You do not need to put other people on a pedestal. It is unnecessary. You know, Matilda, if you're looking for a hero, Elga's available. I will keep you in mind. Is Elga going to start a cult?
Starting point is 00:04:50 Are we doing a cult? Elga does strike me as like someone who'd fit in in Cult of the Lamb. All right. You all step through the curtains and immediately feel a wave of sweltering heat sweep over you. You climb flight after flight of stairs, your palms and foreheads sweating with every step. Finally, you reach the last step and enter an extensive throne room of sandstone tiles that could easily be a few hundred feet long. Ornately carved alcoves of varying sizes line the sides of this candlelit corridor, flickering with fire and
Starting point is 00:05:21 pulsing with veins of light. You look up and realize you're in the top of the pyramid, and the peak is a triangle of glass revealing a starry sky streaking by in a blur. You hear chanting, Rahat al-Yameen! Rahat al-Yameen! Way at the far end of the room you see four people chanting in unison, each of them swathed in resplendent wrappings and wearing masks resembling felines. Next to each masked figure is a mirror angled towards the throne, and the whole dais is glowing like a fiery forge,
Starting point is 00:05:55 backdropped by a trifold of vanity mirrors and mounds of gold. Lazily sitting atop the throne is a skinless gray physique of brawny sinew wearing a golden headdress and a splintered smile of jagged teeth across his face. A fifth feline-faced figure steps out from the shadows, dragging a bounding gag mummy. Pharaoh Hadee, we have recaptured the infidel falsely claiming to be queen. Shall we dispose
Starting point is 00:06:16 of this idolatrous? The gray pharaoh rises from his throne and inspects the mummy closely, her hair hissing at his headdress. Hmm, she's clearly a bad copper piece. Always turning up. No, she can stay, Mishnomer. She can bear witness to the glorious festivities.
Starting point is 00:06:34 Boom, a beam of sunlight streams in through the glass ceiling, strikes one of the angled mirrors below. The light reflects toward the throne, which illuminates even brighter. Well done, my lectors. But let's pick up the pace, shall we? Copy that diem. Pulls up a glowing book. After all, it's not every day you meet a Sphoenix.
Starting point is 00:06:56 Just for everybody, if they went into my mind space, I'm imagining that Iron Maiden album cover. I think it's called Power Slave. And it's all like Egyptian themes. I was just imagining we were inside the Luxor Pyramid from Las Vegas. Chris was imagining we were at the Cabela's in Arkansas or wherever. It's a Bass Pro Shop. It's Bass Pro Shop.
Starting point is 00:07:15 So sorry. And I was imagining exactly as you described it. Ironically, I believe that is in Memphis, Tennessee, if I remember correctly. Yeah. So Pharaoh Hadid. Yeah. And a sphynx. Is he referring to himself or the mummy?
Starting point is 00:07:29 Or something that's going to get summoned? Because he's like, it's not every day you get to meet a sphynx. I think that's what they might be summoning. Or did he mispronounce sphynx-er? And he's got some bowel problems. Who's to say? This guy's got no skin like what's-his-face, but he's not what's-his-face. Right.
Starting point is 00:07:45 He's skinless gray. Yeah. You said like you didn't describe anything green, but I heard jagged teeth and no skin. So it seems very familiar. Okay. Okay. John picked up on something. I think Eddie is Pharaoh Hadi.
Starting point is 00:08:00 There it is. Also Iron Maiden's like mascot guy is named Eddie. Micah, have you been listening to Iron Maiden? Yeah. Micah's a big Iron Maiden fan. Can we do like some type of check to see if we recognize him? I want to perceive if I recognize him. You want to perceive? Let's roll a round of intelligence checks. Oh great.
Starting point is 00:08:18 The party to do it. My speciality. That's a two for Barney. That's a two for Chip. Critical fail. Fourteen. I did a two for Chip. Critical fail. 14. I did a seven. Yes, Elka and Matide, you do recognize this as being Eddie. Darn tootin' I do.
Starting point is 00:08:33 And new trappings, new clothing. Barney and Chip, you have to struggle to focus to remember to breathe. And not swallowing your tongue, which apparently are very important things for you to remember. not swallowing your tongue, which apparently are very important things for you to remember. You ever done that thing where you start, like, recognizing your breathing and you're controlling your breathing and it's hard to transition back to
Starting point is 00:08:52 autonomic breathing? I'm gonna do that the rest of the day. I hate you. There goes the comedy, because I'm gonna be thinking about in, out. I'll tell you what, for funsies, let's everyone go ahead and roll initiative just so we can get everything in order. Are you sure, like, we can't be like, we'll be right back, go take a little nap-ski? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:09:09 I think that all the time. I think that all the time. Because we're old. Eight. Ten. Eight. Five. Wow.
Starting point is 00:09:17 What's your dexterity? It's initiated off. My dex is 17. What's yours? Don't worry about it. I always, man, my initiative rolls are bad. So I have a 15 so then you would go first. I feel like I'm the only one
Starting point is 00:09:30 in this whole group that doesn't mind getting on a low initiative of just like, oh wait. Well actually, it's most beneficial for our party for you to actually go first. Probably, yeah. Because you are our tank. I would say for her to go second for me to go first because I have an ability that if no one else is attacked, then I have like, I would say for her to go second, for me to go first, because I have an ability that if no one else is attacked,
Starting point is 00:09:45 then I have like, I think a crit. So no one else on the team or no one else in the battle? Battle. If they haven't like initiated combat or whatever, then I could like. I like to go first because I have like buffs and stuff I can do. Yeah. To get like before everyone else.
Starting point is 00:09:59 I'm just nervous because I'm out of rages. I'm out of hell of tribukes. Barney, you had a 10. Mateed and Chip both with eight. Mateed going first and then Elga with a 10. Matide and Chip both with 8. Matide going first and then Elga with a 5. So like I said, there's this long passageway. It's maybe a couple hundred
Starting point is 00:10:12 feet long. You're at the southern end and you've just entered it and you see all these alcoves along the way leading up to and at the far end is where the dais is with the mirrors focusing the light and the lectors chanting at the far end along with Pharaoh Hadee and Mishnomah and the Bound Mummy. So Pharaoh Eddie is at the end of the whole way.
Starting point is 00:10:33 Correct. At the far end on top of the dais. And between me and him are these individuals who are chanting. So one of the people's mirror got hit by light from the top and is pointing to Eddie. Correct. It may be not Hadith specifically, but like the dais in general. Yeah, but that direction of the room. Yes. Okay.
Starting point is 00:10:52 I also, I hate to point this out, but I think a few of us are poisoned still. No, I cured. Yeah. Okay. Well, I'm still poisoned. Oh. That means I have disadvantage on all my attack and ability checks. I'll tell you what, the way that that poison works, make me a constitution saving throw, Elga.
Starting point is 00:11:08 Okay. Also, sorry to interrupt you, John. No. You're being such a good little student. It got awkward, Barbara. So 13? Yeah. By this time, your body has processed it and it has run its course.
Starting point is 00:11:16 So it has faded. Tiny child metabolism. You'd eat three buckets of ice cream. Yeah. That's how kids work. They process poison faster than adults. Metabolism. What side of the room is the light hitting the one mirror?
Starting point is 00:11:31 It's all coming in from the top. Which mirror? Which mirror? Oh, you're saying we should shroud ourselves in the darkness. Or break the mirrors. Now you're talking my language. Because we all have night vision. We all have dark vision.
Starting point is 00:11:44 So they're laid out kind of like in a square. I'm going to refer to them by cardinal directions. The one that's illuminated currently is the one in the southeast. So it's the one closest to you to the right. I want to go southwest. Okay. So you start making your way up in that direction. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:11:57 How far? From where you are. I know we rolled initiative, but I'm kind of being a little loose here because they haven't noticed you yet. Oh, if they haven't noticed us, then maybe if only Elga had a missing ball. Oh, I'm happy to whip it out anytime. Wait, didn't we already do that with Eddie? Yeah. The missing ball.
Starting point is 00:12:15 Oh, no! And he's like, wait a minute. The mirrors are slightly over halfway up the hall. Okay. What's the distance on that? Could I make it to the person in 35 feet? 35?
Starting point is 00:12:30 No, but your flying speed is faster, right? Isn't your flying speed like 60? Flying speed is, I think, 50. If you double move that, I'd say you'd be able to make it. How tall is the room? The ceiling- How tall is it? Is pretty tall. I'd say 30 feet.
Starting point is 00:12:43 Okay. If I were to fly my max distance but go up a bit, would I theoretically be shrouded in darkness still? Are you going to make me do trigonometry? No, not distance. I just meant like is it dark enough and like would you in your... Also, don't pretend you'd be sad about it. Oh, dog.
Starting point is 00:13:02 You have a nosebleed. I'm tattooed on you somewhere. You have peak nerd vibe right now, my dude. You work lower plus B. Yeah. I'll say it's still kind of pre-Dawn-ish. You do still see stars, so there would be some obscuration for lifetime.
Starting point is 00:13:18 Okay, I'm going to do that. I have a question real quick. Before any of us start acting, no one has seen this. Can we have a huddle as a group before? Sure. This is your time to huddle, and I'll give you all one move or one action each. For example, what John wants to do, and then we can
Starting point is 00:13:31 proceed. Okay. Barney, it seemed like he got a plan. I can make a cat noise and distract him. The disappointment in the H3C. I watched it. I watched his face melt from hope. I put my head in my hands.
Starting point is 00:13:49 They like cats. I can make a cat noise and it'll distract. Elga has already left the group huddle. That was like, you know, everyone's always like at the wedding, they're watching the bride. I watched the groom and the groom was not happy. Well, okay. So based on your hovering there, Mateed, I can tell you that you want to fly. But if you drop me on somebody, I could get the bounce on them.
Starting point is 00:14:09 We could do a little stab, stab. And then, Elga, you also have some abilities that you could whip out early on too. So, like, maybe if we get them by surprise, we could really tip the, you know, scales in our favor. Normally, I like to work by myself, but I love the idea of dropping you on someone. Oh, yeah. Apparently so to my parents. That sounds like
Starting point is 00:14:29 a win-win. Yeah. No matter what happens. I love win-win. Wee-wee. Yeah. Mateed picks up Chip and you said if I double go, I could get right above one of the prophets? What are they called? Yeah. Lectors. Do you want to bless this mess before we go, Barney?
Starting point is 00:14:46 Is there any spells you can do? Before you get too deep into this, I also want to clarify something. I don't know if we've used this in the past, so I just want to make sure, Blaine, you understand this ability that Chip has. If you want, as a bonus action, you can hide. And if you make a successful stealth roll,
Starting point is 00:15:01 you're hidden until your next turn, and you get advantage on your next attack and disadvantage on any attacks made against you. So he could do that and then I could fly with him. Right. And if you have advantage on an attack, that's what opens you up for sneak attack bonus damage, but that's also a bonus action, just FYI. Well, it seems like we're kind of going out of order of initiative if we do this. Like people would have to... I don't know. Elga, you haven't been... You got any ideas? Any ball? I will smash. Okay. Should we break the mirrors?
Starting point is 00:15:31 I only say that because Elga's pretty much out of any special abilities. Can't rage. Can't become a beast. Can't use her hunter's mark. It's got cone of cold. That's pretty cool. Cone of cold is a really good one. If we stay far enough away. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:15:46 Yeah, Mati picks up Chip. So I hide. I'm in stealth mode. How do you do that? And then I pick you up. What do you do? He becomes a ball. What do you do?
Starting point is 00:15:54 Come on, big ball of purple skin. Just whisper hide. Sneaky, sneaky, sneaky. It's alive. It's alive. It's alive. Yeah, you would just make a stealth check. Plus six. It's got to be ten.. It's alive. Yeah, you would just make a stealth check. Plus six.
Starting point is 00:16:05 It's got to be ten. Okay. Does everyone know what they're doing? Everyone's ready to get into this? Yeah. I guess so. Okay. And break.
Starting point is 00:16:14 I Amazon deliver chip over the elector. That's what I do. So I'm holding them up there. Gotcha. But I've dashed, so that's my action. Okay. I'm going gonna make a perception check to see if they realize that you're there i'm gonna do it at disadvantage
Starting point is 00:16:29 because you are staying in the shadows yeah you are five okay the enemies do not notice you taking flight carrying a uh a tucked up chip haney i'm very it's very silent you know like how owls like just have that special feather that they don't make noise. So then in that case, Barney, you would be the one acting first here. Okay. Well, and they've not seen us yet. Correct. Not as far as you can tell. That means they've seen us.
Starting point is 00:16:54 If I do my twilight sanctuary divinity, it creates a sphere of twilight around me. Would that alert them? Would they see that? Would they see the light change? It would do dim light centered around the 30 feet, but I don't know if it's bright enough where that would make a difference or... Normally, I would say this is something they would notice, but twilight's a lot like dawn, isn't it?
Starting point is 00:17:16 And we're at dawn, so the lighting would be similar. Yeah. So I would say it wouldn't stand out too much. I'm going to say it would probably be a safe bet. The illumination would be similar to what you're already experiencing. Personally, I think I'd take note if Robert Pattinson was in the room with me. I don't know about you guys. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:17:31 Get out. That should be your hero. No, he gives us a bad rep. Oh. I mean, them a bad. Saved it. So I guess I'll do that. So anyone who ends their turn within 30 feet of me gets bonus HP.
Starting point is 00:17:48 So y'all know. Okay. We're not that, we're farther away right now. I know y'all are. Yeah. If it comes up in the future. So I'll do that and be sneaky. Barney sneaky.
Starting point is 00:17:57 Barney not sneaky. And then. Ka-chunk, ka-chunk, ka-chunk. Yeah. So they're up high above which side? I believe John said the southwest. Yeah. The southwest.
Starting point is 00:18:05 And the light is currently on the southeast. Correct. It's how far? Like 30 feet away? No, it's probably if I had to take a stab at it, I'd say 100 feet or so. Well, that's pretty far. Yeah, that's why I had to dash. I will take a stab at it.
Starting point is 00:18:16 Also, is it possible at this point that you'd be able to drop me behind the throne? No, we're still far away. We are only at the first lectern and Eddie is even further away. You all are just over halfway to the dais, so it would probably be another let's call it 75, 80 feet or so. Wow. This is a big room. I also like considering how
Starting point is 00:18:36 Eddie like killed you. I don't know if you'd want a 1v1 this guy. I'm also nervous about this phoenix. Yeah, that's what I mean. If Blaine's like drop me behind and I'll assassinate Eddie, it's like, that's how Chip dies again. Reconsidering this is funny. Those are my favorite episodes.
Starting point is 00:18:52 Yeah, yeah. There's so many to choose from. Chip dies, man. I'm going to... Put me down, bro. Put me down. I guess head towards the west side, the opposite one they went to, I guess.
Starting point is 00:19:03 That's the east side of the opposite. They're heading to the west. I'm looking. Does that sound good to you? You do you. You can't talk to them. They flew away. You can talk to me. Should I go to the... Yeah, sure. Elga, you can always trust her for
Starting point is 00:19:18 a yes and. So I'm going to head that way and I can move 40 feet with my walking stick. I was going to joke that you were going to hobble over there, but look at you. All of a sudden pops out wheelies. Was the twilight thing a bonus action or an action? That was my action. Okay, so you can't dash.
Starting point is 00:19:33 Yeah, I still have a bonus action I could use. You can make a cat meow. But I could do without alerting anyone. Well, are you just moving before you started thinking about your bonus action? I was going to ask you to make a stealth check for me. Okay. As you clang around going up there.
Starting point is 00:19:47 And you said you were going to the east? That is what he said, yeah. And we came in from the south? From the south. Nine? Okay. Do they hear me? Does anyone, do I see anyone turn?
Starting point is 00:19:55 Yes. Meow. Okay, who do I see turn? You see the two lectors by the southern mirrors turn and look in your direction. So one of the ones that I'm walking towards? Yes. And how far away is that one? You moved 40, so we'll say it's probably another 55, 60 feet away.
Starting point is 00:20:14 Okay, cool. Then I want to use my bonus action to do spiritual weapon, and it's going to make, turn into a fist. Okay. No! It turns into a cat! You know that classic D&D weapon, cat? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:20:27 Yeah. Well, do you mean like a cat's head or a cat's paw? You create a floating spectral weapon within range that lasts for duration. I guess what I'm asking is, is it going to be a cat bite attack or a cat claw attack? Can I make just like, make it look like a full cat that will then swipe? I think the idea is that it should be a weapon. Yeah. Like I think...
Starting point is 00:20:44 It's a weapon. Yeah. In, I think. It's a weapon. Yeah. In the spirit of the spell, it should just be like a paw then that swipes or a cat mouth that bites. It's not a full. And I think even you saying that is being nice, Gus. I think I'm being very nice here. It's just a weapon could take whatever form I choose.
Starting point is 00:20:58 Right. But you're supposed to choose a weapon from the weapons table. If you're going to start rules lawyering me, I'm going to bust out the weapons table. I know. I was trying to clue him to not push further. And he still pushed further. If you're going to start rules lawyering me, I'm going to bust out the weapons table. I was trying to clue him to not push further. Can I do cat head? I'm going to do cat mouth. It's not an illusion.
Starting point is 00:21:11 I was going to make a headbutt. Jesus. A headbutt is not a cat attack. Alright, then I guess a cat. I'm going to kill these guys, Mike. These guys? I'll do a cat claw. Okay, a cat paw appears. and then the mirror that's it's
Starting point is 00:21:28 hitting can it like punch them like attack the mirror not in here okay i'll tell you what i'm gonna open this up for you all's input on this baldur's gate 3 came out the other day this is not this is not an ad for baldur's gate 3. but playing the game made me think about the way spiritual weapon works and the way we've been using it because i've been using it a lot in that game in the game which is a dnd game for people who don't know if you cast spiritual weapon in the game it rolls its own initiative acts on its own initiative and can be the target of attacks like enemies can attack your spiritual weapon what hp does it have i don't remember off the top of my head i'm sure i can read and find out so do we want to use spiritual
Starting point is 00:22:02 weapon and have it roll its own initiative or do we want to have it continuing the way we've done in the past? It would act on the caster's turn. So in this case, it would act on Barnes
Starting point is 00:22:09 turn. We did that with like familiars and stuff. I think that's easier to go with. The way this works is I move it and stuff as a bonus action every time.
Starting point is 00:22:17 So I can, it acts using my bonus action. So I would just imagine that it would not have its own. It would have, I would have to, because it can't do anything unless I use my bonus action that being said ball is g3 please sponsor us we'll take it okay so we'll continue having an act on the caster's turn but i may target it in
Starting point is 00:22:36 the future because uh i like i like that mechanic okay i don't know it doesn't have health listed or anything like that i'll look it up don't worry about it. And then, yeah, I want to attack the mirror. And on a hit, the target takes force damage equal to 1d8 plus my spellcasting modifier. So that's a nine. Did it hit the mirror? No. I mean, so a nine is not enough to overcome the armor class. So in this case, the mirror's not moving.
Starting point is 00:23:00 I would say the spiritual weapon hits the mirror, but does not hit it hard enough to cause enough damage. Like it hits it and then glances off. Does not appear to cause any damage. Can we see if it actually like hit it or there's not like a force field or something around it or anything like that? No, it just seems like it was a weak attack by the spiritual weapon.
Starting point is 00:23:17 Okay, shoot. Well, then that's what I got. And I'm gonna yell meow. And I'm done. Make a performance roll. Okay. I knew that would come into play at some point 12 pretty good oh yeah he tries to sell it 12 pretty good
Starting point is 00:23:32 you all think there might be an injured cat somewhere in the in the room with you you are you are being cruel to Mateed's intelligence if you think that's what Mateed thinks right now and I guess since I'll end my turn, I'll do the Twilight Sanctuary to get the bonus HP, which is 1d6 plus 3. Okay. That's seven total. The lector by the southwest mirror.
Starting point is 00:23:57 Oh, that's the one under you guys. It seems to have turned and is looking in Barney's direction. This mirror is not illuminated. This lector has turned and looked, but it's still continuing the chant. Like almost like the lector is aware that there's someone there and is preparing, but it's still focused on the chant and whatever this ritual is that is occurring here in front of you guys. After that one is the lector at the southeast, which is where Barney's heading.
Starting point is 00:24:21 And it's kind of the same thing. This lector has turned and looked in Barney's direction, but it's continuing to chant. And oh, this one, this mirror is illuminated, but it is continuing to chant. And the chant is Rahat al-Yami, right? You're going to make me look it up, aren't you? Rahat al-Yami? Oh, look at you.
Starting point is 00:24:35 Yeah. Okay, excellent. They're saying yummy. It's whatever this is, is some sort of delicious. Yummy, yummy, yummy. That being said, it is Mishnomar's turn, who is up by the dais and has been clued in that there may be something going on because the lectors are distracted. So Mishnomar is going to start moving down to the south in the direction of the mirrors. There's not enough movement to get all the way there, but it started moving. It's kind of pretty close to you guys, within 30 feet at this point.
Starting point is 00:25:11 I love how the room is so big that it's like getting in the way of like, I'm going to get you. Yeah, five turns later. Which means it is now Matide's turn, then after Matide is Chip. I actually want to defer my turn and drop Chip. So you're going to drop Chip and then hold your action. Yeah. Do you know when or just in general? That means that they go after Chip?
Starting point is 00:25:31 That means I go when I want to defer my action. I'll go, who's next initiative order? Chip. I'll go after Chip. I do want to say, I have this thing called the Robe of Serpents and on a bonus action, I get to drop a giant poisonous snake. So we could just airdrop seven serpents.
Starting point is 00:25:45 That's pretty funny. Oh, okay. So you don't want me to drop you. Well, you made a good point about me getting my butt handed to me by the lady there. So Chip wants to like take a stab at like long range fighting as a rogue. Long range serpent dropping.
Starting point is 00:26:01 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Serpent drops. Just real fast, just to backtrack. You would be using your reaction. That's what your hold action is. So then it's like you aren't changing your initiative order. You're just going to wait and use a reaction at some future point. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:26:13 Do you want me to hold on to you or drop you? I would say drop me on one of the mirror people that's like the furthest from like from Eddie and the others. That's this one. Yeah. Okay. Then, yeah. Okay. Then, yeah. Okay. Then I drop.
Starting point is 00:26:27 Okay. So Mati drops Chip over the mirror that's in the southwest corner. Oui. Chip. Okay. So I have, I have the assassinate thing,
Starting point is 00:26:36 which is you have advantage on attack rolls rolled against any creature that you haven't taken a turn in combat yet. For fun. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Make me a dexterity check.
Starting point is 00:26:42 You just fell 30 feet. Yeah. But I'm, you know, like I'm a rogue. I'm light on my feet. Dexterity. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Make me a dexterity check. You just fell 30 feet. Yeah. But I'm, you know, like, I'm a rogue. I'm light on my feet. Dexterity? Yeah, dexterity, light on your feet. Cat, like Barney. Meow.
Starting point is 00:26:56 Come on, Chip. Nine. Don't you have advantage on that or anything since you're a rogue? He's not a very dexterous rogue. I don't know that I do. Surprised? All right, you drop to the ground. Couldn't I land on him, though? Doesn't that give me any sort of cushion? Oh, you're a rogue? He's not a very dexterous rogue. I don't know that I do. Alright, you drop to the ground. Couldn't I land on him though? Doesn't that give me
Starting point is 00:27:07 any sort of cushion? Oh, you're trying to land on him? Yeah. Mm, Mateed, you make me a dexterity check as well to see if you drop him at the correct accuracy check. Sure, sure. Right. Mateed's got like one of their eyes closed trying to look down and see like how, doing math in their head. Trigonometry. Doing bird math.
Starting point is 00:27:24 17. Okay, yeah, so you dropped Chip pretty accurately. Don't worry, I got the good dex checks. Thanks, bud. Chip does not stick the landing, but he does fall in a heap on top of the lector there. In a heap. Mateen notes this and goes, that was fun, we should do that again.
Starting point is 00:27:40 Elgar's just going, up he is, up he is. Chip only takes one point of damage from the fall. Okay, that's not bad. Did the bad guy take any damage? Yes, but I'm waiting to see how Chip resolves this. So I have assassinate, which is you have advantage on attack rolls against any creature that hasn't taken a turn in combat yet. And any hit you score against a creature that is surprised is a critical hit. So I would say this creature has taken a turn in combat.
Starting point is 00:28:02 Well, gee. But you still would get sneak damage. I have the sneak attack, which is once per turn, you can deal an extra 2d6 damage to one creature that you hit with an attack with a finesse or range weapon if you have advantage on the attack roll assuming i have advantage uh you don't need advantage on the attack roll if another enemy of the target is in the five feet yeah you do have advantage because you were hidden okay and they were unaware of you so roll for uh attack with advantage yeah so, so I'm going to use my arm blade. It's the real Assassin's Creed style.
Starting point is 00:28:27 22. Yeah, that actually easily hits. Okay, and then I rolled, oh my God, four points of damage, but I also have... 2d6. Give me two sixes. Come on, come on. Two sixes.
Starting point is 00:28:39 Two sixes. Box cars. Six. Oh, you got one box car. So 10. Let's figure out how much damage a falling chip causes. I didn't say this. Mateed actually tried to drop him head first so the horns would go in first.
Starting point is 00:28:54 I didn't say that. Brilliant strategy. Eight points of chip damage. So 18 total. That's a good attack. Sorry about that, Bell. Yeah, which actually causes the lector to silently slump to the ground. Wow.
Starting point is 00:29:08 Oh, okay. Well, while I'm at it, I believe, okay, I saw the bonus action, right? Yeah, all you've done is you got dropped, which was not your action, and you performed your attack. Okay. So you still technically have move and bonus. Then, okay, well, do I even need to use cunning action for dastish engage or hide like can i just hide with my movement or is that like no hide would be an action however since you are a rogue you can use your bonus action to hide okay yeah i'm gonna i'm gonna hide okay sneaky sneaky
Starting point is 00:29:36 go ahead make me a stealth role it's the role that you should be good at. You keep recoiling at stealth checks. Oh, my God. It's not 26. I just disappear. I like how you're like, oh, no. It's like, that's your highest. Oh, perfect. Yeah, he has plus six.
Starting point is 00:29:56 26. You should be excited every time you get to do a stealth check. Yeah. Okay, is that it for Chip? Yeah. I have an item, but it's this robe thing, but I think it requires a bonus action. Are you going to move anywhere, gonna move anywhere are you happy there i mean maybe i'll make my way to another lector is that possible for me to stealthily move to it you still had a move action now you are
Starting point is 00:30:13 hidden well i guess i'm not moving anywhere no no i'm saying you're hidden so you can move yeah i want to move in to buy one of the other lecterns so there's one to your north that is not yet illuminated one to your east that is not yet illuminated, one to your east, which is the one that is illuminated, and then the one that's furthest from you is the one diagonal from you, which is northeast and not illuminated.
Starting point is 00:30:32 I'll go east to the one that's illuminated currently. Okay. See if I can just like stop whatever they're even trying to start. What's your move, like 30? It is 30. You reach it.
Starting point is 00:30:41 It takes all your move, but you get over there. Why don't my feet get a little tippy toes? Is he within my twilight zone? I think you're still like 60 feet away. Yeah, you're still takes all your move, but you get over there. Why don't my feet get a little tippy toes? Is he within my twilight zone? I think you're still like 60 feet away. Yeah, you were still further away. Oh, that TV show. Also, a good song. Golden Earring.
Starting point is 00:30:53 Look him up. Okay. Let Barbara go. No, I think it's your turn. Well, you can go if you want. It's one of the lector's turns right now. Because Mateed said they were going to go after Chip. Oh, if you go after Chip? Yeah, you can go. Yeah. The one north of me? How far?
Starting point is 00:31:07 30. I can do that. Because you were right over the one that you dropped Chip on, right? Yeah. Yeah, so it's about 30. We got to name this move that we do here. If you air dropping me into stuff. The Chip bomb?
Starting point is 00:31:16 We're just going. Chip bomb. It's very cool. Yeah, yeah. I like that. Okay. Mateed would go and swoop down and do an unarmed strike on the... That's a seagull.
Starting point is 00:31:28 Seagull, yeah. I'm going to attack the lectern just north of me, who's next to the mirror that has also not been illuminated. And you're a seagull at the beach, and someone on the beach is eating a delicious hot dog. Yeah. And you go down to swipe it. Dude, I had a seagull swipe for fries in my hand once,
Starting point is 00:31:45 miss, and like peck my hand. They are brave. It hurt. Terrifying. Yeah, I'm going to go in and do that. Yeah, go for it. And so I get to do, if I do an unarmed strike, and if I do flurry of blows,
Starting point is 00:31:56 I basically get to do three unarmed strikes. Wow. That counts as my bonus action. Action and bonus action. So I'm going to swipe at this little nerd get a 20 on attack I do five points of damage I'm just gonna do this two more times that one's not gonna work that's an eight nope that's a 15 that does not hit the lectern right above me that's the north of me yeah that counts as my bonus action.
Starting point is 00:32:26 So that was five points of damage? Yep. Do you have inspiration diary? Yeah. You do? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:32:30 You already rolled one? No. Okay. I'm good. Cool. You hit the lector. Which one was the one in the northwest
Starting point is 00:32:37 with such ferocity that it interrupts him mid-chant. Yeah. Like you hit him in the solar plexus and he struggles to catch his breath from such a surprise mid-chat. Yeah. Like you hit him in the solar plexus and he struggles to catch his breath from such a surprise hit.
Starting point is 00:32:48 Yummy. Yeah. Concentration spells. What is a lector? Kind of like a priest. Okay. Like a spiritual figure. Someone who's a lectern.
Starting point is 00:32:56 Ha. Ha ha. Ha ha. Thank you, Barbara. All right. Is that it for Matide? Oui. All right.
Starting point is 00:33:04 C'est fini. C'est fini. It is the lector's turn up in the northeast, which nobody is by. Do you want me to come keep you company? He definitely needs to keep chanting, but I'm going to see if he can do anything because this is concerning for him. No, the summoning is more important. Oh, man. That is good, Ben. Ben suggested the chip Mateed sneak attack combo name be Foul Play.
Starting point is 00:33:27 F-O-W-L. That's pretty rad. What's the thing when Colossus throws Wolverine? What's that called? Fastball special. Fastball special. We need that. Foul Play.
Starting point is 00:33:35 Rah! Okay. That lector is nervous but needs to continue chanting. Elga, you are up. And then some NPCs. Okay. I've been going through my inventory and my abilities and I'm like, I'm so lost on what to do here. Smash.
Starting point is 00:33:51 I'm currently by Barney still, right? Barney moved up a bit. He's 40 feet in front of you. Okay. 40 feet in front of you and kind of to the right because he headed towards the east. Okay. I'm going to go to where Barney is. Okay.
Starting point is 00:34:03 Or close to since my walking speed's only 30. And then I want to try to smash the mirror as well. Nice. So could I throw my axe of the scarab up at that miroir? Yeah, go ahead and make your attack roll. Okay. Now you do know this is seven years of bad luck. I'm gonna use my inspiration die because I rolled a one.
Starting point is 00:34:20 Go for it. Rolled a two. So that's a 10 total. Yeah, the axe of the scarab flies out, hits the mirror but bounces off seemingly ineffectively. That is so... What a stupid inspiration die. Gave me
Starting point is 00:34:33 an extra one point. Well, one could have been like something bad happened. Yeah, that's true. That's very true. Yeah. This is a very... This is some good craftsmanship on these mirrors. I know. They're doing a really good job. I could put one of these above my armoire. I literally have a pointy to that. And it just went, doink.
Starting point is 00:34:49 But you moved. I moved. Now I'm near Barney. Okay. You can, in your turn, you can get a roll for your bonus HP if you want. Yeah. Let's do that. Elga's move is 30, so you're about 10 feet behind Barney, but you're still within the influence. So you get six bonus. Is that temp HP? Thank you, Barney. I you're still within the influence. All is not lost. So you get six bonus. Is that temp HP?
Starting point is 00:35:05 Temp. Thank you, Barney. I'm so embarrassed. Please don't tell anybody what happened here. What happened? Yeah. At this point, it seems like, I just want to make sure I have everyone in my mind correctly.
Starting point is 00:35:17 Three of you are converging on the southeast mirror. Chip is pretty much there. Barney is most of the way there and Elga is just a little further behind that. Mateed went up to the northwest mirror and is currently occupied over there. Barney is most of the way there and Elga's just a little further behind that. Matide went up to the northwest mirror and is currently occupied over there. And is the mummy with Eddie? Currently
Starting point is 00:35:31 restrained on the dais. Okay. So like right next to him essentially. Yes. Or like next to a throne that Hadi is on. Hadi. Get ready to meet your Hordoo! At this point, from one of the alcoves next to that mirror to the southeast, a Hordoo. At this point, from one of the alcoves next to that mirror to the southeast, a Hordoo guard steps out.
Starting point is 00:35:48 Who had been lurking in the shadows unseen up until this point. Fellow lurker. He does not appear to be aware of your presence, Chip, but is instead turning his attention down to Barney and Elka. He closes the distance with Barney and takes a swing at him with a rotting fist. Ew. Is this like separate from his own fist or is this his fist?
Starting point is 00:36:12 Excellent question. It's his own fist. I don't get it. He's just holding a rotting fist. But he rolls a one. Oh, man. I know the feeling. His attack misses Barney and he stumbles a bit and is off balance.
Starting point is 00:36:28 At this point, that mirror in the northeast illuminates as well. Okay. As the lectors continue chanting. Elga, would you give a hiss or any sort to light? No. Okay. Elga's okay with light. Just don't look in the mirror hello everyone i often get
Starting point is 00:36:49 asked what's the best way to support tales from the stinky dragon so to help explain i brought my good friend john along to chat with me about it yeah so the best way you can support us is by one i mean obviously just being yourself that's what that would support me is just knowing that you're being your true self me too and knowing And knowing that will help us. But beyond that, it's by becoming a first member on roosterteeth.com, which is essentially our patron model for people who want to support the show in a financial way. And so if you go to roosterteeth.com and become a first member, it's only $5.99 a month. And basically if you either become a first member. It's only $5.99 a month. And basically, if you either become a first member or even just watch our content on roosterteeth.com, we get the most value out of it, which we then can
Starting point is 00:37:32 turn the most value possible into even more stinky content. And on top of just supporting us from an altruistic standpoint, you also get stuff out of it too, right? Like you can listen to our episodes ad-free, for example. I hate ads. You could take up a hobby with all the time you save not listening to ads. Maybe you could make your own dice for your own Dungeons & Dragons campaign. Your hobby could be that you join us on our official Discord, which is only for our first members on our Rooster Teeth Discord, where we're posting exclusive content. Today that we're recording this,
Starting point is 00:38:00 I posted some behind-the-scenes photos from our Stinky Dragon Adventures production that just went into production this week. Well, you know, it's... Man, you set me up for the perfect segue there, John. On top of that bonus stuff, you also get access to Second Wind, which is our bonus show for Tales from the Stinky Dragon. It's pronounced Second Wind. Second Wind. Yep. Where, you know, we do a dive into that week's episode. We talk about things that happened, what's going on, you know, maybe avenues that were left unexplored, where the party is, what the plans are, what you all messed up. Sometimes either myself or Michael will be there to help give more information.
Starting point is 00:38:31 I've never messed up on this show before in my life. Everything has been strategically planned. Sure. We'll find out the rationale behind, John, when you listen to Second Wind. As a Rooster Teeth First member, again, just $5.99 a month, you get tons of bonus stuff. You get a discount on the Rooster Teeth store. Get no ads and tells them the Stinky Dragon. Background play, offline viewing on mobile apps.
Starting point is 00:38:50 Check it out. It's pretty great. If you haven't checked recently, I'd recommend you head over to store.roosterteeth.com because we got brand new Stinky Dragon merch. All kinds of stuff is out there. Oh, John, you scared me. I didn't see you there. Blurble gerbil to you.
Starting point is 00:39:00 Oh, and a blurble gerbil to you too. Did you know you can buy blurble gerbil merchandise at store.roosterteeth.com wait i can get blurble gerbil on actual physical objects i can have my home what could i get that on you could be living the blurble gerbil lifestyle john go check out all of the fine blurble gerbil merch again at store.roosterteeth.com we've also got roteth player character apparel all on mugs shirts posters beach towel you name it we got a blanket we have a blanket i'm excited to get my dot receive dot com. We've also got Roteth player character apparel, all on mugs, shirts, posters, beach towel, you name it. We got a blanket. We have
Starting point is 00:39:28 a blanket. I'm excited to get my blanket. I don't have the blanket yet. I know. I've got mine on the way right now. I'm excited to snuggle up with some Stinky Dragon blankets. They're not stinky. The blankets are not stinky. I want to make that very clear. What you do with them once you get them, that's your own business, but they're not stinky from the factory. You, the community,
Starting point is 00:39:44 can make whatever Stinky Dragon merch you want stinky after you get it, and we kind of encourage it actually. But we can promise that it'll come to your house not pre-stunk. We'd also like to hear from you any ideas you have for merch that you want to see, whether it's a Yamford Yams college sweatshirt, a shouldy, an ethereal fanny pack, or bum bag of holding, whatever we called it. Personally, I'm pushing for live, laugh, blurble, gerbil poster. That's what I want. You know, the sky's the limit
Starting point is 00:40:10 with blurble, gerbil and our merch. And the community did such a good job of knocking it out of the park when we released our dice, which was like, we were trying to see if this would work out. And like that stuff sold out
Starting point is 00:40:19 so quickly that we're like, that's awesome. We'd love to get more stinky stuff out there. And we'd love the community's involvement as far as deciding. So if you want to go to socials and let us know what awesome. We'd love to get more stinky stuff out there and we'd love the community's involvement as far as deciding it. So if you want to go to socials and let us know what you think you'd love to see,
Starting point is 00:40:29 or if you want to go to our exclusive Discord, if you're our first member and you can go there and let us know. We want your input. We would love to know what you would love. We've got some ideas ourselves coming the way. We might even have like more dice coming. Ooh, I'd like that.
Starting point is 00:40:41 But beyond that, if you want to give us your ideas, we're open to them. Head on over to our socials or Discord and let us know. Let us know. Hey Gus, I'd like that. But beyond that, if you want to give us your ideas, we're open to them. Head on over to our socials or Discord and let us know. Let us know. Hey, Gus, I got a question for you. What happened to the puppets on our social channels? Where'd they go? Well, right now, puppets are taking a brief pause and will have animation
Starting point is 00:40:56 instead, taking their place for a little while. Right now, the puppets are busy working on another project. They're working on Stinky Dragon Adventures right now. Yeah! That is going to be our long-form series that we're actually going to be posting on RoosterTeeth.com later this year, starting in November. You guys were so good about
Starting point is 00:41:11 tuning in for the puppet stuff on our socials like TikTok and Instagram that the powers that be said, hey, make a whole series about this. And so we, you know, Blaine and Chris and Barb, they're actually on set right now shooting the series. It's horizontal, not just vertical. We're using the whole screen now. They're actually on set right now shooting the series. It's horizontal, not just vertical.
Starting point is 00:41:27 We're using the whole screen now. We're using the whole screen if you turn it sideways. And we appreciate you guys giving the puppets their time to go and work on that. And we also appreciate you guys tuning in for the animated stuff.
Starting point is 00:41:38 Our animation team has been knocking it out of the park, turning some of our more complex moments from the shows. Difficult to puppet. Yeah. Like I just saw a version of our episode that's going to be of the moment
Starting point is 00:41:50 where Kyborg jumped out of that tavern window naked. Oh yeah. A harder thing for us to do with the puppets. Now we can do naked animation. Okay. That's what we can do. You want to see Kyborg's butt? Check out our animation.
Starting point is 00:42:03 But yeah, the puppets have gotten a promotion. That's why they're working on the new Stinky Dragon Adventures. We're going to make sure it doesn't get to their heads because if it gets to their heads too much, we're going to go ahead and replace them with new different puppets. Maybe even some grotesque puppets. We'll see. Anyway,
Starting point is 00:42:19 go check it out. Speaking of socials, Gus, where can people find us on the social networks? People can find us at StinkyDragonPod on all social platforms, even the YouTube URL included at StinkyDragonPod. Super easy to find. We believe in consistency.
Starting point is 00:42:34 Yeah, and if you go to those social channels and you leave a comment or interact with us or just post anything about the show, that's how we pick our NPC names for characters in the show. So if you use the hashtag StinkyDragonPod, you could become someone that we buy merch from
Starting point is 00:42:50 in the game. Or maybe someone that Blaine's character Chip will kill. Maybe Blaine's character Chip will kill your character. In every episode, you'll hear me highlight the inspiration for the names of our NPCs. And you could be one of those people. Whether it's on social platforms, our fan run subreddit, our slash StinkyDragonPodcast, or the roosterteeth discord which is of course first only or just
Starting point is 00:43:09 whatever social platform at stinky dragon pod we pull from all of those you hear that sound it's the sound of a sale you're missing out on because you're not selling on Shopify what does it sound like with Shopify uh Ah, much better. So start selling with Shopify today. Shopify is the commerce platform revolutionizing millions of businesses worldwide. Whether you're a garage entrepreneur or IPO ready, Shopify is the only tool you need to start, run, and grow your business without the struggle. Shopify puts you in control of every sales channel. So whether you're selling satin sheets from Shopify's in-person POS system
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Starting point is 00:44:24 Shopify.com slash dragon to take your business to the next level today shopify.com slash dragon out from the western alcove chip where you assassinated that other lector there's another hordum guard who steps out from that side the hordum guard sees combat to the north this guard is going to head to the north where matide is to try to support that lector because it sees the other Hordoom guard is over there with Barney. So this one takes a left and heads up to close the distance with Matide and also exhales loudly and dust and sand seem to come out of its lungs, swirling all around you.
Starting point is 00:45:03 Go ahead and make a constitution saving throw, Matide. Not this again there's a 12. oh it needs a mentos i think i can use inspiration on that one then yeah why not okay as a 16. you see the sand coming you've had enough experience with it you close your eyes and hold your breath for just a moment as the sand i don't breathe and dust course over you not having any effect on you none gets in your eye none you don't inhale any way to go yeah all right it is now that Lecter's turn there in the Northwest and he was the one who kept chanting right this is the one who stopped chanting he got hit so hard by Matide that it took his breath away oh my God if you ever had the wind knocked out of you oh it's the worst oh my god take my breath away the lector at the northwest bayou matit catches their breath and once again resumes their chanting okay barney you're up then your spiritual weapon then some npcs then eventually matit and
Starting point is 00:45:56 chip so barney cool how far am i away from the mirror the one to the southeast that you were closing the distance to you are probably still 50 feet or so away. I don't know if I should go for the mirror or the man chanting. There is a Horduum guard. But next to me, yeah. Now, you said he was thrown off balance. Does that mean he's like, what does that mean? He just seems like, you know, he took like a big swing
Starting point is 00:46:18 and then put too much of his weight forward since it didn't connect, and he's like a little shaky. Metagame-wise, if you attacked him, you would probably have advantage. Okay, I guess I'll start by using my bonus action to use my cat paw. Is the other guy still chanting? Yes, the ones in the north at the northeast and northwest mirror are chanting. Sorry, you said the one in the south?
Starting point is 00:46:41 The one I'm near. Oh, sorry, the one you're near? I'm sorry, yes, yes, that one is chanting. Everyone's chanting, but the one who is asleep at'm near. Oh, sorry. The one you're near? I'm sorry. Yes, yes. That one is chanting. Everyone's chanting, but the one who is asleep at Chipcott. Yeah, deep sleep. You said that. You used that word. I guess I'll... I don't remember.
Starting point is 00:46:53 Should I attack the mirror? I don't know. It's hard to tell because maybe there's some source of power coming from the mirror. They're really strong. I'm going to attack the mirror with my thing. Okay, so your cat paw moves up to the mirror in the southeast, which is illuminated. It was the first one to be illuminated. And takes an attack at it.
Starting point is 00:47:10 Oh, nat 20! Yeah! Yeah! Hitting AC 20, which is a hit. If the mirror's AC was higher than that, I feel like... The mirror's AC was 20? I didn't say that. No, you didn't say that.
Starting point is 00:47:19 Oh, oh, oh. I said you hit AC 20, which is a hit. Okay, sorry. So that's a crit with my thing. So what's the damage on a cat paw? Well, the spiritual weapon is a 1d8 plus my spellcasting. So that'd be four plus four. So that's eight plus eight.
Starting point is 00:47:36 So 16. The cat's paw, which is maybe the weirdest spiritual weapon I've ever heard of in D&D, rears up and bats at the mirror as like it's a ball of yarn and smashes it, breaking it. The mirror falls to pieces, no longer illuminated. Did anything happen? That was the only one that was illuminated, so none of them are... Two of them are illuminated. The one at the northeast
Starting point is 00:47:56 also illuminated a couple moves ago. But we're down to just one illumination? Correct. Unless it starts spreading to the other ones. And then I guess I will... I'm going to cast a deep breath. The guy that's up near me, he stumbled, right? Correct.
Starting point is 00:48:10 Well, I don't care about him. I'm going to attack the guy that's chanting. The lector? Yeah, with toll of the dead. Wait, in what corner is he? I was about to ask. I assume the one there at the southeast by the mirror you just shouted? Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:48:21 Okay. I'm going to attack him with toll of the dead. He has to make a wisdom saving throw of 14. You want to make sure he's not attacking my end. He is. Yeah, this is the one you just shattered? Yeah, yeah. Okay. I'm going to attack him with Toll of the Dead. He has to make a wisdom saving throw of 14. You want to make sure he's not attacking my end. He is. Yeah, this is the one you're heading towards. That's the one you're heading towards. It's the only one I can hit.
Starting point is 00:48:31 I thought it was the southwest. You killed the one in the southwest and then you moved east to the southeast. Get a napkin out and make a little diagram. Plus three on this, so I need an 11 or better. Six. Yes. All right, what does that do?
Starting point is 00:48:42 It's 1d8 necrotic damage. Necrotic? Burn it, burn it. I bet you they're resistant to necrotic damage because they're necrotic themselves. Possibly. I rolled a one. One point of necrotic damage against the lector. Okay, the damage seems to catch the lector off guard who
Starting point is 00:48:59 stumbles a little bit in his chanting. And then, I know this guy's within opportunity range, but I know he's also stumbled. So I'm just going to move towards that guy or towards everyone else, like 30 feet, trying to get close to... North.
Starting point is 00:49:12 He's talking to the north. To the southeast mirror and lifter? Yeah, towards that. Yeah. Move, I guess, 40 feet within it. Okay. Is that close? You'd be pretty close.
Starting point is 00:49:20 You'd be within about 20 feet at that point. 20 feet of the guy? Yeah. Because I was about 100 feet from when you started. This would be your second 40 move. Yeah. So you'd be about 20 feet away. Okay. I'd like the guy? Yeah. Because I was about 100 feet from when you started. This would be your second 40 move. Yeah. So you'd be about 20 feet away. Okay.
Starting point is 00:49:27 I'd like it better if you're five feet away from him. I know. That's what I was trying to get. Appreciate you. I'm going to make an attack of opportunity, but I'm going to give it disadvantage because he's off balance. My rotting fist. Flam.
Starting point is 00:49:37 Flam. Eight plus three. Eleven? Nope. Yeah. It misses on its attack of opportunity against you. All right. And that is it. Meow. Make a performance its attack of opportunity against you. All right, and that is it.
Starting point is 00:49:45 Meow. Make a performance check. That's a nine. There's definitely someone pretending to be a cat out there. It's getting in their heads. Mind games, Barney. There's a cat attacking the mirror. There's a meowing.
Starting point is 00:49:56 Now it's the lector at the southeast's turn. I don't think these guys are scared of cats. They're wearing cat masks. Don't they do that because they're afraid of them? Yeah, maybe they're like the Batman. They do think they're gods or something. Okay, you connected for me, Blaine. I appreciate that.
Starting point is 00:50:11 That makes sense now. All right, this lector had its chanting interrupted by your Toll of the Dead, Barney. So it's going to have an opportunity to do something. It is going to close the distance with you and swing a scimitar at you. At me? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:50:26 Okay. Because you're the closest enemy it can see. Because Chip is there in the vicinity unseen because he rolled really well on his stealth check. Elga's further behind you and Matiz at the other one. So yeah, this one closes the distance with you and swings a scimitar at Barney. Hitting a C. I rolled a one. You did.
Starting point is 00:50:45 We're excited. Gus is very upset at this. Taking glasses off. I just want to do some damage to you guys. I just want to hurt someone. We're so squishy. Leave us alone. You got plenty of opportunities, Gus.
Starting point is 00:50:55 There's so much more in this fight. You're right. We haven't even gotten to like Mishnomer. We haven't gotten to Eddie. Or the Sphincter, whatever it is. Shut up, big guy. Sphincter. Eddie. Or Hedy. Or the sphincter, whatever it is. Shut up, big guy. Sphincter. Okay.
Starting point is 00:51:06 Phoenix. Phoenix. I thought you made that as a joke. I couldn't remember, and that's all I could think of. Yeah. The sphincter is getting closer. It is Mishnomer's turn, who has made their way down between the mirrors, definitely sees the fight that's going on.
Starting point is 00:51:21 I don't know what you're talking about. There's no fight here. I was just throwing my axe up in celebration. Matide is over there. Chip is invisible. Hey there. Chip is invisible. Immediately talks.
Starting point is 00:51:37 Well, hello there, Chipaney. Hey there. Mishnomor chants some arcane words and points at Barney. Hi. Hi. Meow. It seems like, you know, you were in this twilight, was it called Twilight Sanctuary? By the way, did everyone at the end of your turn,
Starting point is 00:51:53 or as people have been ending turns, have they been getting their hit points? So far it's only been Elga. Okay. But you feel like the twilight begins kind of fading away and instead replaced by blazing sunlight that just seems to really begin to focus and then illuminate out from near your feet go ahead and make a constitution saving throw all
Starting point is 00:52:11 of us barney and oh chip you're by there too yeah you too chip what the heck it's a good thing you said something blame you might have forgotten uh that's a five i was going to 12 okay radiant damage begins flowing out and overcoming you. Both of you take 18 points of radiant damage. Oh my goodness. 18? Yeah. And you're both blinded until the end of your next turn.
Starting point is 00:52:35 And that was from Mishnomar? Yeah. 18. This isn't good because Elga's vulnerable to radiant damage. I have one health. You have one health. Well, lucky for you, Mishnomor has one more attack. Great.
Starting point is 00:52:49 Am I still in stealth? Yeah, you are still hidden. Just quietly going, Ah! God damn person. That hurts. That stings real bad. Mishnomor points out their other hand and a...
Starting point is 00:52:58 That's the Macarena. A ray of energy shoots out in Barney's direction, hitting a C22. Darn it. Man. It's all that meowing. Barney's direction. Hitting AC 22. Darn it. It's all that meowing. Barney's going to be down. Yeah. For 15 points of fire damage.
Starting point is 00:53:12 Wait, who is this against? Barney. Just Barney. This is a balanced fight. He has one, so. Barney's down. Well, don't worry. Elga will dispatch of this guard and then pick up Barney.
Starting point is 00:53:23 Yes. One by one. All right. That's it for Mishnomor, Mateed guard and then pick up Barney. Yes. One by one. All right. That's it for Mishnomor, Matit, and then Chip. I'm near Elector, who is chanting again. And then did you say a guard approached me as well? Yes. A Horduum guard is in your area as well.
Starting point is 00:53:38 How far is the guard from me? It's like within melee range. Oh, yeah, it breathed on me. I take offense to that because I don't like breathing. And I cast, with my bonus action, Arms of the Astral Self, which I summon arms all around me, and each creature of my choice that I see within 10 feet must secede on a deck saving throw at DC 13
Starting point is 00:53:59 or take some damage. And that includes the mirror. Well, that only affects creatures. Oh, well, that's poopy. Are you saying the mirror's not a creature? It is not. I'm okay. I'm okay with that. That's mirrorism. Okay, I do that. So
Starting point is 00:54:13 roll for the two for the lector and the guard. Alright. Dexterity. The lector gets plus zero and the guard gets minus one. Great. So here's the plus zero. This is the lector. Seven. Cool. And the guard gets minus one. Great. So here's the plus zero. This is the lector. Seven.
Starting point is 00:54:27 Cool. And the guard gets. Give me another seven. Yeah. Zero. One minus one. Wow. He critical fails on that.
Starting point is 00:54:34 Yeah. That's your damage. I don't know. You really get him. But I do get to roll for two D4 Jedi damage. Six. That's not bad. That's not bad. That's not bad. This is also your second attack on this lector
Starting point is 00:54:48 who must make a roll. Concentration. Once again, you knock the wind out of it and out of this lector. It's just, it's just, La-champ. I could take this on you, Dive. La-champ.
Starting point is 00:55:00 This lector stops chanting. Stop it. So sorry. Which was this guy? This is the northwest. I'm on stops chanting. Stop it. So sorry. Which was this guy? I'm on the northwest. I'm on the northwest. Cap, be you. So now two or three lectors are down.
Starting point is 00:55:10 Well, no, he's just not chanting anymore, but he's not down. One is down. Two are not chanting. Only one is chanting. Anything you can do to make the last one stop chanting? I've got my own issues right now with a guard on my butt. And I just saw how much damage Mish nomer just did so gonna be cautious and i'm gonna i'm gonna disengage okay and go up you have disengage as a like a yeah
Starting point is 00:55:35 something you can do okay step of the wind lets me do it it says it's a bonus action but i can take a bonus action as an action i mean it's just a bonus action but i already used my bonus action to do the arms of the spectral. I see. So I'm just going to like... Yeah, well, I think we've allowed that in the past where you just like burn an action for a bonus action. Then man, because I can't really do this. This guard has had no damage
Starting point is 00:55:56 done against them and they're up close on me. So yeah, actually, I want to go up. You did some damage with it right now. Oh yeah, but not much. Six points of Jedi damage you said? Yeah, I go up all the way to as high as I can. Okay, so you go up 30 feet, presumably, because that's what we said the ceiling was. Okay, sure.
Starting point is 00:56:13 Okay, is that it for Mateed? Away. All right, Chip. Okay, real quick, just as a question. You did that move with Mishnomar, and it had the radiant damage. It seemed like an area of effect attack. We were surrounded the southeast
Starting point is 00:56:26 dude. Did he take any of that damage? Oh, that's a good question. Smug smile on your face. You would have pushed up your glasses if you were wearing them. Yeah, sure, why not? Let me make him make a roll as well. A teacher, he didn't get homework. Um, actually... These have
Starting point is 00:56:42 a good constitution. That's a 16. You all took 18 points of damage? Yep, they did, yeah. That takes about half. So half and not blinded. So enough of correcting me. Okay, so sneak attack doesn't matter anymore,
Starting point is 00:56:57 even though I'm still in stealth, because I have a disadvantage on the attack roll. Because you're blinded? Yes. If I were to do a bonus action, say, use the robe of serpents. So, let's step back for a second here. Okay. Because wouldn't that negate it? Right.
Starting point is 00:57:11 That's what I'm going to ask. Like, since you're already stealth, you would have advantage. Blinded, you're at disadvantage. So then doesn't that just leave you neutral? Right. If we really want to tally it up like that, if we want to tally it up like that, Barney's also within five feet of the guy, which would be another thing that would proc the sneak attack right but barney's also blinded so he's not threatening says you don't need an advantage on the attack roll if
Starting point is 00:57:35 another enemy of the target is within five feet i'm incapacitated oh yeah he's down so then that just yeah yeah it does okay all right all right. All right. Chess. Yeah. The Kings game. I never understood, you know, during the whole like satanic panic of the 80s and 90s when like parents said that D&D was like devil worship and tried to stop the kids from playing D&D. Never understood.
Starting point is 00:57:57 It's just math and improv. I mean, that's really all it is. Truly. It's Oprah's fault. So because I'm blinded, say I were to do the Robo Serpents, which is, it's a's fault. So because I'm blinded, say I were to do the robe of serpents, which is, it's a stylish silk garment that is popular among wealthy nobles and retired
Starting point is 00:58:10 assassins. The robe is emblazoned with one D four plus three stylized serpents, all brightly colored as a bonus action. And on your turn, you can transform more of the rope serpents into a giant poisonous snake. The snake instantly falls from the robe slithers into an unoccupied space next to you and acts on your initiative count. Snake can tell friendly creatures from hostile ones.
Starting point is 00:58:26 Yeah, it like auto attacks. And attacks the latter. Snake disappeared in an hour or when it reaches zero HP. Yeah, do it. Would that take me out of stealth though? Or could I just be like, hey snake? And then it just like.
Starting point is 00:58:38 Do your attack and then do that. Well, I don't think I want to attack because then that's going to take me out of stealth. And I kind of want to like. I'm going gonna say it does not take you out of stealth but it does not necessarily convey that stealthiness onto the snake that's fine snake appears snake is seen yeah yeah we're out in the carcassouk and there's lots of snakes you know one slithered in what the heck right so i'm gonna poop out a snake. Please don't. Snake! How does it sound?
Starting point is 00:59:08 How does the snake sound? It's a weird snake. The snake is farting somehow. Yeah. Snakes have to fart. So I'm going to lower the available charges of planning. Okay. That was my bonus attack.
Starting point is 00:59:20 So if I were to get out of stealth and try to attack this guy, I wouldn't be able to go back into stealth. So I... Correct. Unless I guess the crossbow doesn't range. Does that keep me in stealth or anything like that? In the shadows? Well, you're just...
Starting point is 00:59:32 Then, you know, they have an advantage or they have a better opportunity to detect you is how it boils down to. They have a projectile that shows them where it came from, but it doesn't necessarily take me out of stealth and it would just be that guy. So say I kill that guy, would he, you know? It might still continue.
Starting point is 00:59:47 Don't believe Gus. Don't believe Gus. Well, I got that and a snake that could attack him. So, okay. Wait, is it a bonus action? The snake is like a spiritual weapon. It attacks on its own. Right.
Starting point is 00:59:56 It's not blinded too. Oh, there you go. There's something. Okay, I'm going to try to shoot with the crossbow. I know I'm blinded, but as you said, we're kind of negating the so you're at just normal you're sitting normal and you're attacking what the southeast guy i'm gonna try to attack then to be clear the southeast lector not the guard yeah yes all right we're just gonna
Starting point is 01:00:14 roll the crossbow thing and then go between this and snake it is about 21. that hits all right here's the damage six he's probably down he. Okay. Not quite. Snake, go get him. We have one party member who yells bat all the time and another one who started yelling snake. Yes, all together now. All of us. Yell animals. Hard. For no reason.
Starting point is 01:00:37 All right. So go ahead and roll the attack. It's a D20 plus six to bite. It's a 15 plus six. 21. The bite connects. Oh, the reach on this is 10 feet that's interesting okay the damage is 1d4 plus 4 piercing damage because snakes can like do a little jab strike jab that's one plus four or five is that enough there's more so it does 1d4 plus 4
Starting point is 01:00:58 piercing damage and the target must make a dc11 saving throw, taking 3d6 poison damage on a fail save or half as much on a successful one. Nice. Snake's a little OP. I miss turning into snakes. This one's name's Todd. That's a good name for a snake. You're going to name each of them as they fall out of the robe?
Starting point is 01:01:16 That's right. They're all going to have unique little voices too. I want them all to have just like white dude names. So you got Todd, you got like Jeff. I'm naming them after my old college buddies from yamford you know me and todd we ruined back freshman year in the co-op those were good days so the i hated todd at first the lector makes its saving throw but it still takes half damage and that's enough poison to uh cause it to keel over and fall down dead and no longer chanting, of course.
Starting point is 01:01:46 Yeah. So both lectors in the south, the one at the southwest and the southeast are now down. And seeing that two of their friends are down, they all disengage and think better on their actions. That's right. And then in stealth, who's the next lector that's close to me? The next one close to you would be the one to the northeast.
Starting point is 01:02:03 It's about 30 feet away. And that's the one that you're dealing with? Mate to you would be the one to the northeast. It's about 30 feet away. And that's the one that you're dealing with? Mateed's dealing with the one to the northwest. Okay. Then I go to the northeast one and I stay in stealth. Okay. And is that the only one still chanting? The northeast?
Starting point is 01:02:13 As of right now, yes. Okay. I stay hidden. Make me another stealth check. Because you're moving around again. Oh, shoot. Ten. Okay.
Starting point is 01:02:21 Is that it for you, Chip? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Jesus.
Starting point is 01:02:28 It takes four yeses to confirm. I had to make sure. I had to let them all work their way out. Yeah. Musically. Yeah. All right. This selector, let's see if it sees you.
Starting point is 01:02:37 I'm willing to bet it's going to see him. 13. Yeah, it sees you. Oh, hey there. Just Chipainy. That's my name. So you moved up. You're pretty close to it because you had all your move, right?
Starting point is 01:02:47 You had like 30. 30 was the amount of move you needed to get up to there. Okay. It turns and still while chanting, swings a scimitar at you. Don't do that. Seven. Steer, right? It swings again.
Starting point is 01:02:59 Eight. Oh, my God. Strike two. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Both us and Micah look not happy, and I don't approve of this. Barney is down. I don't know what you guys think.
Starting point is 01:03:09 That's like the one, like, no enemy has hit you except for Mishnomar. They all miss. Yeah, because we're really good at D&D. This lector continues chanting. Elga, it's your turn. Nerd. He goes, swipe, swipe. So what's the lay of the land for Elga right now?
Starting point is 01:03:27 A lot of people have moved around. There is one Horduum guard about 10 feet away from you where Barney was when he finished his last turn. Then 40 feet beyond that, so 50 feet from you, is where Barney is down along with one of the lectors.
Starting point is 01:03:44 30 feet north of that is where Chip is at the other mirror. With the one still chanting. Yeah, kind of in the middle of all of it is Mishnomar. And then northwest from you, a good distance away is Matide at the other mirror. I guess I should probably just take care of this guard first. It's either that or get to Barney. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:04:00 Just to set the stage, if you pass by this guard in an attempt to get to Barney, this guard will most likely take an attack of opportunity. Okay, and the guard is the priority. Yeah, I'm going to try to swing my axe to the scarab at him. Okay, so are you throwing it or are you closing the distance and attacking? I'm going to close the distance and attack. Okay.
Starting point is 01:04:15 That's a 16. On this guard, that's a hit. Okay, cool. Thank goodness. And that does nine points of damage. Okay, this guard falls to the ground, cleaved in twain by your mighty Axe of the Scarab. And then I have a question. Okay.
Starting point is 01:04:33 Would using one of my scrolls be an action or is that like a bonus action? So reading the scroll requires the spell's normal casting time. So if the spell can be cast as a bonus action, it's a bonus action. But if the spell is cast as an action, it's an action. I don't know if this is or not. It's the one for blur. It's one action. Oh, it is.
Starting point is 01:04:54 Okay, cool. Sorry, but I cannot use it. So you can move. I'll move closer to Barney. All right. So you move 30. You're 20 feet away from him then at this point. Okay.
Starting point is 01:05:04 Is that it for Elga? Yes. Barney, you need to wake up now. It's not the time or place for nappies. As you close the distance to Barney, the mirror to the southwest suddenly illuminates as well. So now three of them are illuminated. We've been taking these dudes out.
Starting point is 01:05:24 Yeah, but one's still chanting. Man, I wish I had illuminated. We've been taking these dudes out. Yeah, but one's still chanting. Man, I wish I had more. I really want to do something, but it's always a mix between like wanting to stop certain things that are happening, but also wanting to like
Starting point is 01:05:33 kill all the enemies that are around you. Because there's something I want to try to do, but I can't do it for another probably 45 minutes. The Hordum to the west
Starting point is 01:05:43 who tried to breathe sand on you, Mateed, tries to strike at you with a rotting fist. I'm 30 feet in the air. Oh yeah, you're 30 feet in the air. That's why I did it. That's why I used my action to get away.
Starting point is 01:05:57 Smart. You smart bird. It shakes its rotting fist at you angrily. I spit at it. I spit at it. Okay. And so does Jacques. I taught the cat how to spit. This lector here in the Northwest resumes its chanting as well.
Starting point is 01:06:14 He's gotten the wind knocked at him twice. Twice. He's still going. Yeah. Barney, go ahead and roll your death save. You know, Barney's on the ground, you know, trying to maybe stabilize himself. As you know, you're laying there, Barney, you know trying to maybe stabilize himself as you know
Starting point is 01:06:25 you're laying there barney your vision is like watery and it's like you're fading in and out you can hear a voice ask when will it happen keep hearing these voices when we're about to die when what's happened when will it happen uh and that's a 19 you make it your spiritual weapon goes away when you go down right yeah i assume, I assume, yeah. Weird. It would still be there. It's not a concentration spell. But it doesn't act because normally it acts on Barney's turn.
Starting point is 01:06:53 Does it have a big cat head floating above you? It's just waiting. It's based on the spellcaster's bonus action. It's there, but it's just not moving or doing anything. It's playing with one of the dead bodies. Mishnomers turn. Who's M with one of the dead bodies. Catwood. Mishnomers turn.
Starting point is 01:07:08 Who's Mishnomer going to kill this round? Mishnomer's up there. Elga's over there. Chip. Let's see if Mishnomer sees Chip. He's got a body shield. You hit me, you hit the dum-dum. Who?
Starting point is 01:07:17 Oh, the lecher. Yeah, you want him to keep chanting? You don't hit me. Don't do it. One, two, Chip. Three, four, Mishnomer. Think about this, Mishnomer. You don't want to hit your own guy? Come on. Four, two, chip, three, four, Mateed. Think about this, Mishnomor. You don't want to hit your own guy.
Starting point is 01:07:27 Come on. Four, Mateed. Mateed's flying up in the air. Okay, I know. Mishnomor chants something at you, drawing your attention, Mateed. You think you can get me up and get soft, but if not, it's my huge thing. And locks eyes with you. Make me a wisdom saving throw.
Starting point is 01:07:42 19. Wow. When Mishnomor looked at you and you locked eyes for that second, you felt compassion and sympathy for just a moment and felt like felt like maybe Mishnomor was on the right side of things. First time in Matide's life.
Starting point is 01:07:58 You shook it off and reverted to your normal Matide self. Disgusting. So instead, with fury, Mishnomor points at you and a arc of fire erupts from his outstretched finger and leaps towards you say pull my finger counts as a missile right ranged weapon it's not a missile necessarily it's magic so it's not a okay so missile is a physical object I have a deflection thing I can do it It's a spell though
Starting point is 01:08:25 so it's not like a weapon. Hitting. Ooh. That's a crit. Oh. You get impacted with fire damage and take eight points
Starting point is 01:08:33 of fire damage. Copy that. That's not bad. You've had worse. You can do this, Matide. Yeah, that's it for Mishnomer Matide. It's your turn.
Starting point is 01:08:42 And then after Matide is checked. Either. Matide's going to use Sling of the Song that you guys keep singing. I will use... I'm starting to avoid it this time. Did we take a short rest before this?
Starting point is 01:08:55 You did take a short rest at one point. I don't remember if it was since you last used it. I don't think so. It's okay. It's still plus two bonus to attack rolls. So I'm going to go ahead and do a long range attack at the dude who will not quit singing. Can I be obnoxious? What?
Starting point is 01:09:13 I think, aren't we still blinded? Or is that what- I'm not blinded. You were blinded. Okay, great. Good. They shot at you. Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 01:09:19 So I'm going to roll for attack with the sling of sandstorms on the dude, the lector who is still chanting. The one... Below me. Below you to the northwest. And your blindness cleared after the end of your turn. Oh, I was going to ask about that in the next turn. Just checking. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:09:34 That's a 23. That hits. Nine points of damage. Oh, that lector falls to the ground. So there is only one lector left. It is the one to the northeast. But they're all not singing anymore, right? The one to the northeast is still chanting. Oh, okay. I'm is only one lector left. It is the one to the northeast. But they're all not singing anymore, right? The one to the northeast is still chanting.
Starting point is 01:09:47 I'm on that one. I don't think that one has been interrupted. Not yet. You'll have to get a knife to the throat and we'll see the interruption there. Try singing without a throat. That's right. Loser. How far am I to that, the remaining guy in the northeast? Horizontally about 30 feet. Okay. Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 01:10:03 So it's about 30 feet to the east i'll dive at that guy okay and since i used a monk weapon i can make one arm unarmed strike as a bonus action he's scheming over there rogue schemes lane is making little like hand motions of like just that's a 18 yeah that hits five points of damage okay ow you punch him oh he has to make a save. Yeah. I have failed every one of these. You know. Make it four.
Starting point is 01:10:28 Don't break habits now. Hey, I did it. Okay. Now he continues chanting. Okay. This is northwest? Northeast? Northeast.
Starting point is 01:10:35 This is the last remaining lector. Remaining lector. All right. Is that it for you, Mateed? Yeah, that's it. Okay. Chip, you are up in... Hey, Chip.
Starting point is 01:10:42 There's someone within five feet of this guy that you're about to... That needs to go down. Oh, yeah, great. Okay, because I was also going to ask because my snake's near him, too. Technically, that's an enemy of this guy, too. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Two people are within five feet.
Starting point is 01:10:54 Yeah, yeah. So I'm going to use a sneak attack. I didn't write your snake on here. Snake. His name's Todd. T-O-D-D. Todd. Three Ds.
Starting point is 01:11:04 Oh, three Ds. No, three Ds. Three Ds. Please get it right. Ta-da-da-da-da-da-da. I'm going to use my arm blade to give him a good old walloping in the throat. Do I get advantage on this? Or is it just the 2D6? Well, he did his stealth check.
Starting point is 01:11:17 Yeah, but you have advantage anyway because there are multiple enemies here. You get advantage. Okay. All right. So roll that again. Oh, 22. Believe it or Oh, yeah, you get advantage. Okay, all right, so roll that again. I think... Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, 22. Believe it or not, that hits. All right, and then we're going to do a little stabby stab.
Starting point is 01:11:31 That's a four plus the 2d6 because of sneak attack. Oh, five. So nine points of damage. Shucks. And then my snake. Oh, yeah. Okay, how would this work? Because I want to hide then move,
Starting point is 01:11:44 but is the snake operating with me, or would that mess things up? No, the snake operates on your turn. It's in your initiative order, but it's not you. Right. It's like the spiritual weapon. Anything Barney does doesn't really affect it. It's like when Mud had conjure animals.
Starting point is 01:11:58 Right. Okay. Then I'm going to take a bonus action to hide. I need to get the name of that thing. Cunning action. I'm going to use cunning action to hide.. I need to get the name of that thing. Cunning action. I'm going to use cunning action to hide. So then you roll for what?
Starting point is 01:12:08 Stealth? Yep. Yes. And then I want to scurry away. Gosh. 11. Okay. And then you try to move away?
Starting point is 01:12:14 Yes. Okay. Yeah. The lector still does see you with an 11 and gets an attack of opportunity as you step away. Does snake do anything about that? I mean, your snake will act, but it hasn't gone yet. Okay. All right. All right. Do it. The lector slashes out.
Starting point is 01:12:31 Should have killed him with the snake first. With the scimitar. Can I not? I thought that was part of it. Hitting AC 17. Yeah, yeah, it hits. Doing... Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, one of these finally hit. This is the first time a lector's actually hit.
Starting point is 01:12:41 Oh, I'm so happy for you guys. Wow, congrats. That's good. Doing six points of slashing damage. Okay. Uh-oh. How you doing, Jip? Not too great.
Starting point is 01:12:49 And three points of fire damage. Resistant. So... One. One. Oh, I was hoping to sneak that in there and have that drop you. Gus is so sadistic this episode. When the scimitar makes contact, it briefly is engulfed with fire, doing a little bit
Starting point is 01:13:03 of extra damage. Too bad I love fire. Yeah. All right. Fire. Big fan of them tamales. And then I want my snake to hit him. All right.
Starting point is 01:13:11 Go ahead and roll your d20 for your bite attack, then add six to it. Todd, I choose you. Go get him. Use bite. It's 15 plus six, 21. Yeah, that hits. Plus, what was it? So roll for damage.
Starting point is 01:13:24 Yeah, so roll d4 plus 4 for piercing damage. That's a 7. And then I have to make a constitution saving throw. He's still up, even with that 7? No, but I'm going to make a 7 anyway. For dramatic effect. Okay. See if he's poisoned for the last half a second of his life.
Starting point is 01:13:42 Makes the save and then takes half of 3d6 poison damage. Go ahead and roll the poison damage just for fun. Half of 3d6. I'll just roll 3d6. For those at home who are keeping track of how much damage each of our characters do to 7 divided by 2. So it'd be 3. I bet you someone is doing it.
Starting point is 01:13:56 That lector falls to the ground with a snake attached to it. That's way to go. That's good for 4. Todd, you're... Oh, Brewski's on me, pal. What happens after that? Mission number kills us all. You all receive inspiration die and five temp hit points.
Starting point is 01:14:14 I'll take it. But I'm still down, so I don't get the. You don't get the temp hit points. I'm sure one of your party members will come stabilize you if they like you. Hadid stands up quickly from the throne. No! Your party members will come and stabilize you if they like you. Hadee stands up quickly from the throne.
Starting point is 01:14:24 No! The book of Daybreak crumbles to dust and the golden throne withers to ash, drifting down the stairs of the dais. For a bunch of numbskull nobodies, the four of you really know how to spoil a pharaoh's fun. You know, this reminds me of some wise words I once read. Medar, Astikaz, Alv, alza ja, nos de de Phoenix! Never heard that one.
Starting point is 01:14:50 Can you do it one more time slowly and spell every single word you're saying? The ashes rise from the floor, shimmering as bright as the sun. They catch fire and form into four fiery paws, followed by a blazing tail. Two burning wings stretch out from a feathered body
Starting point is 01:15:05 that leads up to a flaming feline's face with scorching eyes. Who has summoned the almighty Sphynx? Ah, it's the Sphynx. It is I, oh great one, Pharaoh Hadee, a humble servant of the Antique and the people of Karkasuk. The incandescent cat surveys the room with scorching eyes and stares at Hadee, a humble servant of the Antique and the people of Karkasuk. The incandescent cat surveys the room with scorching eyes and stares at Hadee. What do you desire? Eddie's jagged teeth split into an even wider smile.
Starting point is 01:15:35 The destruction of globe. So be it. But first, put an end to these unbelievers! This phoenix turns to you all and smolders with firelight. It lunges after you with open jaws and an inferno of flames engulfs every last one of you. Resistance. Find out how that resistance plays out in the next episode of Tales from the Sneaky Dragon.
Starting point is 01:16:17 Where from? Aw, we even have a cat. Who said we were non-believers? Yeah. We didn't even have a chance to defend ourselves. Elga's open to conversion. She's down, you know, she's open-minded. I mean, if it saves my butt from it.
Starting point is 01:16:30 All right, well, thanks for listening, everybody. We'll be back next week to find out what happens. Before we go, I want to tell you about my new series that's coming out. A couple months ago, I went to New Zealand and attempted to walk from the set of Hobbiton to the Lonely Mountain, which is like 160 miles, and then climb it dressed in Hobbit outfits. It's a sequel to A Simple Walk in the Mordor, which I did like over 10 years ago. And it's coming out next week on September 21st.
Starting point is 01:16:57 Are you kidding me? And right now, the trailer is out for this new series. And if you want to watch the extended edition of the original series, you can now watch that on roosterteeth.com. I'm so curious if Chris and Carrie survived. But if you're a fan of Lord of the Rings or just honestly just documentaries and stuff, it was really crazy. It's a great little adventure.
Starting point is 01:17:17 Little adventures. Yeah. I'll say this. It was supposed to be released in July and only just one episode. And it was so crazy. We made a full series. Oh, yeah. I'm looking forward to that. Yeah. Because it's coming out so soon. Yeah. That's awesome. And check out my series
Starting point is 01:17:30 A Complicated March into into a Barbie land. Alright well thanks for listening everybody go check that out and we'll be back next week. See you later. Bye. Goodbye. This episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon was produced by Ben Ernst written, edited, and composed by Micah Reisinger
Starting point is 01:17:45 with additional editing work by David Saunier. This week's Arrow question was submitted by Josh Clay on Discord. And here's a quick shout out to folks that interacted with us on social media recently. Here's some NPCs named after them in this episode. Ryder Rajad, aka The Mummy, named after user Ryda7s on Reddit.
Starting point is 01:18:00 High Lecter Mishnomar, named after at Mr. Mishnomar on Twitter. Also want to give a special thanks to friends who provided voiceover for characters in this episode, like The Mummy, voiced by Hannah McCarthy, at HiHello underscore Hannah, Pharaoh Hadi, aka Eddie, voiced by Andrew Rosas, at MrAndrewRosas, and The Sphenix, voiced by Christian Young, at XChinYoung. I am also resistant to necrotic damage. Why would you be resistant to necrotic damage? That was in Barbara's meta voice.
Starting point is 01:18:42 I can't break carrots. necrotic damage. That was in Barbara's meta voice. I can't break character. That was the most honest thing you ever said to me. I can't break character. I will say, for like the first hour after we're done
Starting point is 01:18:58 recording Stinky Dragon, I still talk like this a little bit. Now we know the pain that Jared Leto must feel.

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