Tales from the Stinky Dragon - Of Life & Breath - Ep. 77 - Half And Halfling

Episode Date: December 28, 2022

Tasked with climbing Mount Saiyomoto the party must evade the Shaddo Dragon Ladoria quickly closing in on them.... Check out our merch and follow us on Twitter, Instagram, TikTok and more: https://linktr.ee/TalesFromTheStinkyDragon Shout Out to our Voice Actors for this episode: Inku - Raquel Lily (@RaquelLily)  Elder Wanabe - Ben Ernst (@RT_Ben) Bo-Link - Joe Lee (@theloejeez)  Elder Namido - Brendan Carruthers (@bren_carruthers) Elder Esdreem - Quentin Smith (@Quix_18) Elder Sheezu - Ashley Dillard (@ashl3dee)  Ashiko - Mike Howard aka SnowBikeMike (@SnowBikeMike) Jade Dragon Jio - Hector Gonzales (@hbag22) Silver Dragon Tsunam - Chad James (@ChadJamesRT) Bronze Dragon Sora - Kylah Cooke (@DefinedByKy)  Mysterious Voice - BlackKrystal (@BlackKrystal)  Hugh Männer - Trevor Collins (@_TrevorC)  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is a Rooster Teeth production. What's happening all you anise hags? Hunt your way into the Stinky Dragon, lap up our latest liquor, off to a flesh start. It's a mixture of Hag daniel's whiskey freshly brewed flesh presho flesh presho yuck it's a mixture of hag daniel's whiskey freshly brewed flesh espresso flaw fog cloudy cream and topped with chocolate covered crushed. One hearty swig of this hooch will feel like a hug that'll last forever and ever and ever. Previously, our adventurers arrived in a cosmic courtyard of draconic confusion. First, they were regaled with riddling repartee and relishable replies.

Next, they pushed past deadly defenses and found a friend waiting to happen. Then, they swapped prized possessions with the silver tongue sugar mama, finally fetched some missing lyrics to a debut of draconic ditty that led them to another diagen. Pluck yourself a potation, let's settle in for a stinky story. Can we send someone over to gus's house make sure there's no gas leak flesh espresso i'd read it i hadn't tried to say it until i was in the moment i got you guys hey guys i want to say thank you for always getting the intros done in your first try one take gus that's always perfect yeah always

perfect plush espresso does mud have a inspiration die uh here for mud yeah yeah go give yourself an inspiration die there yeah i have to break my back for those inspiration dies and here he is handing them out so maybe she were a little nicer huh how about that yeah so uh bart as you hold the sapphire die gem in your hand you don't notice any tear-shaped cavities appearing on your person as it did for cyborg and mud instead your musician's eye notices the shape of the gemstone is a perfect fit and size for something that you've been missing a plectrum a guitar pick to strum your loot the gemstone wraps around your thumb perfectly and you feel an influx of vitality fill your body from head to toe.

Meta-wise, while Bart is attuned to the breath diagem, his charisma ability score increases by two. What? Gains advantage with charisma ability checks and saving throws. What? And you gain a new ability called silver tongue. What?

You can mimic the speech of another person or the sounds made by other creatures. What? So will it automatically, when I do like a charisma check or something like that it'll automatically add to it or do i have to do it manually it's not attuned it looks like currently oh oh yeah you gotta do that button yeah oh i guess i could only have three things attuned at a time really yeah yeah i have ring of truth telling ring of mind

shielding and then i also had the Instrument of Illusions attuned. Uh-oh. Which one are you going to unattune? Instrument of Illusions. Because I can just cast Minor Illusion if I want, I think. All right. Just make sure you unattune it. Then you should be able to attune the die gem,

and then we'll give it another test. Oh, I have attuned my pick, my loot pick. Play us a ditty, Bart. Oh, there once was a boy named Bart and he rolled his charisma and testing it out. And it made him fart.

Fart, Bart. Isn't there a dragon right in the room? And we're like... We'll get to that in a second. We're taking this as housekeeping before we get to that. Just playing a song while there's a dragon right in front of me. Yeah. Dragon, you do not have permission to interact right now.

Dragon, oh dragon. Yeah, no, it looks like it changed everything on my sheet when I attuned it. So good. All right. I have an important question for Bart. Yes. But I want to do it in character. All right, Bart.

I have a very important question to ask you. Hold on. Let me just tune my loot real quick. This involves your lute. You've got a brand new magical... ... ...

... ... How many strings do you have on that damn lute? 17. No pause. The thickest lute ever. It's a musical question. You have your brand new magical pick What is the first chord you play?

The best chord C That's a chord, correct? It is a chord, it is a chord E minor? That's a chord as well Do a power chord Micah suggests a bark major.

A bark major. Suddenly, you feel a tingling sensation tickle the nape of your neck. The sky grows dim and darkness cascades across the temple. You all hear something you'd hope never to hear again. The cry of the shadow dragon. Roar! I brace for impact. Roar! Aye, brace for impact. Slam!

The front door to the temple slams open and sailing through the air with grace and finesse is a bronze dragonborn wielding two daggers. He lands next to you all and bows. Hi, I am Elder Wanabe. I see you have the breath diogen. I too am a paladion. It was foreseen you would return, Bartholomew, back to your home.

But I'm afraid there's no time to- SMACK! The roof of the temple explodes with a plume of black fire. Wooden shrapnel showers the courtyard all around you, and out from the dark flames appear two enormous, deep black wings and a pair of pale purple eyes behind a long snout. The scaly silhouette of Ladoria the Shadow Dragon emerges bathed in pale moonlight. Hurry, my friends.

We must make haste to Mount Sayamoto and summon the ancient dragons at once. The bronze dragonborn breathes in deeply and exhales a blast of thunder and lightning at the scaly beast. Krakow! I cannot hold her at bay for long, and we won't be able to outrun her.

If only we had some horses or a wagon. Can we not just climb on top of you? Just a dragonborn. Dragonborns are our size. Yeah, I stare at Mud. My question remains. Mud's distracted and just looking and going, Dragon fate! Dragon fate! Dragon!

Bart jumps onto Mud's shoulders and yells, Cowabunga! Mud turns into A big ol' horse, war horse To be specific Yeah and I guess the hem mobile is now Extended and attached to me

A giant cart or something like that And technically Bart would still be riding you Right? I guess, yeah. Bart's on the big old Clydesdale. Bart hops into the hemobile. Elder Wanabe looks at it in disbelief.

Where did that come from? I don't know. And Gum Gum hops in. I like that Gum Gum still doesn't understand it at all. It just shows up sometimes. Every time.

He's like, whoa. How'd you do that? Is everybody in? Yeah. Mud turns around and eyes at everybody and goes, I live life one mile at a time. Go! And then zooms off. Bart is, since he's riding on top of Mud, who is

now a war horse, since Bart's so short, his legs can't go over on either side of him, so he's doing the splits. Just sitting. Ow, ow, ow. You could also ride side saddle. Oh, like a lady. Or anybody who

rides side saddle. A dapper lady. Dapper. Elder Wanabe says, hurry, take a left at the eastern border of Sora province and head for the summit of Mount Sayamoto. I like this Wanabe guy. No nonsense, huh? No, the left. Oh, gotcha. Mike puts his hoof out

to signal his direction. You bank left onto a gravel path that seems to snake up the misty mountain blanketed in the darkness of night. You turn back to see if you're being followed, and sure enough, Latoria's nearly on top of you, her wings beating feverishly.

But she suddenly pulls back, and you hear, FIRE! You spin back around towards the front and see Bolink and a throng of Shadrow cutting you off along the road, firing a shower of shadowy shards in your direction.

What are you guys gonna do about that? Um, I wanna fire back, but I also wanna to protect us. I have a shield, so I think I'm going to draw that and ready myself. And we will fight in the shade. Could I also, as that's happening, am I able to hop off mud into the wagon that he's pulling? So I'm like at the back of the wagon facing the dragon. So I take the brunt of everything in the front?

Well, they're behind us, right? No, they're in front of us. The dragon's behind you. So I take the brunt of everything in the front? Well, they're behind us, right? No, they're in front of us. The dragon's behind you. Dragon's behind. The dragon's behind us. Yes. Yeah. That's where I want to You want to face the dragon and fight the dragon. Yes. Okay. Butterscotch the dragon, everybody. Parts on dragon duty, everyone. Can I jump to the front?

Or can I rage and jump to the front? Oh, well, I was going to do a thing real quick, but. Oh, you've got more to do with dragon. I i was gonna try to see if i could cast thunder wave behind us i love it sorry i know we're not an initiative so i didn't know if it was like a yeah yeah we we can absolutely we're gonna lean into that we're gonna approach these it's kind of like the whole skill check thing where uh you all describe a a scenario to uh evade or to deal with what's going on and then uh we'll make some rolls but all that being said i love what's going on, and then we'll make some rolls. But all that being said, I love what's going on. I love this.

Let's, yeah, let's do a Thunder Wave. What's the range on Thunder Wave, Bart? It is... 2,000 feet. Looks like it is only 15 feet, though. Only 15 feet. A 15-foot cube, yeah. The dragon's a little further than that

because it's, like, flying. Right. Thunder Wave is very much an area of effect attack more so. Right. Like a local area. But before we get to that, I would say that, Bart, you probably need to make an acrobatics check to jump off of the horse to get back

into the cart. I want to assist and catch little Bart, and then while he's casting Thunderwave, I also want to put a shield over him. I thought you were getting up, moving up to the forward onto the... Oh, that was me. That was GumGum. Okay, that's good. Sorry. Yeah, let's deal with Bart's acrobatics check first. Acrobatics is a 15. I just

rolled. Oh, good check. Bart, very nimble. And then Kyborg picks you up by the scruff of the neck, Kyborg. Like a cat. Whatever the least embarrassing way for Bart would be, but I really, I mean, there's no way that this doesn't look like a dad

catching his little baby boy in his arms. Not the beard! Could I also, as Bart got to the rear of the horse, bump him up with my back even a little bit so he's really getting a good fly? This is where I got my nickname Bucko Bart. Yeah, and then, Kyborg, why don't you go ahead and make

an acrobatics check as well to, like, whip your shield out in time and shield little bucko Bart. All right, we're doing acrobatics. That's a 17 plus 9, 26. Oh, yeah, they look so good. It's almost like slow motion out of an action movie. You catch Bart, help pick him up, prop him up, and then, you know, the shield seemingly slides out of nowhere, protecting you all from the inbound shards.

Remember that idiot from Book of Boba Fett that did that unnecessary spin out from under Black Kersantan, the big Wookiee? I want to do something like that. I want to add in some unnecessary zest and flair. Yeah. That's the Kyborg way. That's indeed.

And since Thunderwave is a lot less of a range than I thought, quick question, how much does a dragon weigh? Micah says a dragon doesn't tell. Well, is it under 500 pounds? Oh, absolutely not. No. It's like an F-150 at least. A huge-sized dragon starts at about 20,000 pounds.

Oh, my God. Okay. And can get up to about 80,000. Okay. So he's more like a submarine Mack truck. So do you know what you're going to do instead of Thunderwave, Barbara? Or are you just going to wait there?

Yes. Could I instead of Thunderwave do a synaptic snap? A peaty pop. Choose a point within range, cause psychic energy to explode there. I don't know if it's like, if we're moving and they're moving, if it's going to be too complicated of a spell within range. Cause psychic energy to explode there. I don't know if it's like if we're moving and they're moving, if it's going to be too complicated of a spell to cast.

You could make it work. Sure. Okay. I'm going to cast synaptic snap or synaptic static, not snap. I don't know how I read snap. Synaptic static. Let's kind of end there. Snap.

All right. So it needs to make an intelligence saving throw. I'm going to do that right now. The intelligence saving throw. Ooh, this dragon's not very smart. It's only plus three. That's not too bad. It's like a giant version of the vulture from Looney Tunes.

No, no, no, no, no. 18. I'm going to assume that's a save. It's a save. Yeah, the 17. There it is, 17. You are correct. So 18 is a save yeah you save yeah the 17 there it is 17 you are correct so 18 is a save

and then i do 8d6 and you'll take half that since you successfully did it okay go ahead and roll that 8d6 is 35 so half that 17 16 17 yeah we always round down, just to be consistent. 17 points of psychic damage cause Ladoria to howl in pain, and you see rage burning in her eyes. Yeah, that's right. Gum Gum, you said you wanted to do something as well? Yeah, I want to—well, I'll do my rage. Six is until your rage ends, you're surrounded by multicolored protective lights. You gain plus one bonus AC, and while within 10 feet of you,

your allies gain the same bonus. Pretty good in this situation since we're all within 10 feet. Go gum gum. That was great. Maybe one of the best times that one ever could proc. Now we just look like a disco cart. We have all these cool lights surrounding us, and there's electricity shooting out the back.

I want to basically jump to the front of the horse, or the front of mud, replacing Bart. Tell me if I can do this. I have a shield. Can I put my shield on my back and then get to the front of the horse? So I'm blocking like kind of Indiana Jones it where I'm in the front covering up mud, like taking the. So would you say on the front, you mean like not riding on his back, but like. Holding onto my neck.

Where you're chest to chest. Yeah. Chest to horse chest. Let's be specific. Yeah my neck where you're chest to chest. Yeah. Chest to horse chest. Let's be specific. Uh, yeah, you could do that. Why not? Yeah. Chest to chest works.

Yeah. Like a gum gum battering ram. Yeah. Uh, sure. Yeah. Uh, make an athletics check. Oh, sorry. Uh, an acrobatics check to do that.

Okay. On acrobatics today. It's a car chase. 26. Damn. That's a nat 20 with plus six. I didn't realize gum gum's acrobatics were that high yeah yeah well he rolled a 20 i mean a plus six modifier is pretty good yeah it is pretty good i think you jump out there and like you have one arm off to the side and it like hooks

over the back of mud's horse neck and then you like whip around and then like latch on with your other arm and uh pull yourself tight and whip my shield in the appropriate place while I'm doing it. Yeah. It's basically the opposite, the reverse of what Legolas does in that one shot in Lord of the Rings where he like one-handed reverse mounted the horse. Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. And it's happening simultaneously while Bart's flying through the air.

So I high-five Bart. Yeah. We high-five. Yeah. And I'm not bothered at all by having a full-grown barbarian hanging onto my neck as I'm trying to pull this cart forward. You're strong. You're a big ol' heart.

Would you rather the rain of arrows hit you? No, it's fine. It's fine. It's okay. I got this. What acrobatics check are you going to make, Mud? What's the one for breathing? That's aerobics.

Lucky for you, Gum Gum protects your chest from the inbound shower of shards. Kyborg's shield provides cover for Bart and himself. And Wanabe and Duncan take cover under Ventress and the Ahem-mobile. Oh, Duncan. Oh, yeah, we should just sit. They're fine. They got thick skin. They got that dragon scale.

Mike wants to do something. Pop a wheelie. Everyone Mike wants to do something. Papa wheelie. Everyone else got to do something cool, and so I want to do something that would be a little bit more helpful with what's ahead of me. I saw that I have another much more helpful animal that I want to turn into, so I'm going to go ahead and just spend a wild shape and turn again. I'm turning into a giant goat. Oh, look at you. He's the goat. I am the goat.

Greatest of all time. Can we get advantage on intimidation because of the yell? Yeah, it's just me screaming the entire time. So, Gum-Gum, for some reason, when you grabbed onto Mud's chest, he turned from a horse into a goat. What did you do? Oh, no. Your wild magic must have done this. Oh, no.

I gave you horns. I turn down and look at Gum Gum and I go, you did this to me. I'm sorry. While you all continue your way up the mountainous gravel road, as the moon becomes enveloped by clouds overhead, the landscape dims drastically, making it

difficult to see very far ahead of you. Elder Wanabe says, it's hard to say, but I think we are at the halfway point of the summit. Up ahead, there should be a... The road suddenly slopes to your right along a steep ridge, and boom, Vladoria swoops in from the darkness,

flapping her vast wingspan, trying to blow you off the mountainside. What do y'all do to stay on the mountain? I want to take some shots at her with the longer bow of crystallina. All right. We're falling off the mountain. Is that going to help us stabilize?

I'll shoot arrows. Couldn't hurt. I have an idea. What's your idea? I have my sack of clumsy dust, which I can either do sticky or slippery, and I could, ahead of us, fling sticky dust to make our terrain sticky. Traction? Yeah.

Traction? To stick us to the, like, yeah, Traction? Yeah. It's traction. To stick us to the, like, yeah, add traction to it. I like it. If that doesn't work, let me know. I have a secondary idea. Bart's also got those goggles that help see through, like, fog. So if you need to navigate for mud, it's a possibility as well. So we're trying to make a sharp turn and we're just not stable.

Is that what's going on? Yeah, like the dragon comes down swooping with its wings wings like trying to force you all to fall off the side well then me taking pot shots is going to help make them stop swooping wings and i forgot to mention because of your successful ability checks in that first uh encounter or in that first check kyborg gum gum and bart i'll gain uh advantage on the next scenario and five temporary hit points. Oh, nice. Yeah, screw me. Yeah. You didn't make a check.

Also, while I do that, I'll activate the immovable rod, which was loaned to me by Mud, and hold that. I was going to suggest that. Yeah, I see the description there, Chris. It's just it says it acts as though the grease spell has been applied. I'm looking up the grease spell. Okay, yeah. So you create like a tacky surface on the road in front of the cart,

causing the goat's hooves and the wheels of the Ahem-mobile to bite into the ground a little more solidly. And then what else did you say? Oh, you're going to pull out the immovable rod? And I'll activate the immovable rod and hold on to it. And I'm already holding on to mud. Make two strength checks. First for the immovable rod and the second for your other arm holding on to mud. Make two strength checks. First for the immovable rod and the second for your other arm

holding on to mud. Okay. You should just throw the immovable rod out and I'll grab it with my teeth. All your teeth break off. You're like Captain America holding on to the helicopter and holding on to the top of the building trying to pull them both together. Do I need to turn into a helicopter? My first one was 18. So that's on the

immovable rod. Yeah, you hold on tightly to that. And my second one was 20 because I have advantage on strength checks because I rage, so. Because you're raging? Yeah. Yeah, so the ground becomes sticky and mud, I'm sorry, gum gum,

holds tightly to the immovable rod and mud, helping cause the cart to turn even more sharply and stay on the road. It's like the cartoonish, like, the hand going out of the car, grabbing, like, a stop sign, and you're just doing a big old loop around. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Kyborg, you still want to roll those attacks, see if you hit the dragon? Yeah, I mean, if they're still flapping their wings and making us go off course.

Yeah, why not? It's just one dragon, right? It's just one dragon, yeah. That's enough. Yeah, no, I'm just making sure. Yeah. 30. Oh, yeah. Whoa. Let me check and make sure. Yeah, that not? It's just one dragon, right? It's just one dragon. That's enough. Yeah. No, I'm just making sure. Yeah. 30. Oh, yeah.

Whoa. Let me check and make sure. Yeah, that does hit. Okay. That's a 13. I'm just going to roll three for my action. Or, I mean, do we really need to go through? I mean, this doesn't seem like a classic combat scenario.

It's up to you. Whatever you want. Why do you do three? Do you have three turns? Three attacks. Okay. So you just do the same thing three times. Yeah, that's a 32 and then that's a 17.

That hits, so 30 points so far. Eight. Eight? Eight damage. No. He didn't roll for a hit yet. Oh, I see. He rolled all of his two hits already. I see. I was just misunderstanding what was going on. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Gotcha. So I did eight and ten damage for those last two arrows so eight ten what's that first one 13.

so 31. yeah yeah yeah yeah all right yeah gosh i action surge no hold on wait one of your attacks was uh 17. yes that's a miss okay well that was, that was the 10. That was the 10. Yeah. So, 8 and 13. So, 21 points of damage. As I could, Action Surge. You totally could. Why not burn everything you have? You just had a long night's rest. He's taking note of the damage, which means that we will face his dragon later.

How many Action Surges could you do right now? Could you do them all? Just the one? I could also Lucky that other one. Bart, you want to do anything? Or Mud, you guys want to do anything? Are you happy with where the party's at right now? We turn the corner? Yeah, you all turn the corner.

But if you want to do anything, you can do it. I scream again. How does it sound, John? Give us a taste. Discord cut it, but I'm sure it sounded great. Okay, so Mud. I'm not Mud. Gum Gum, I keep calling you Mud today.

Gum Gum, you get advantage on your next check and five temporary hit points, which you already got five. I just don't get anything for the scream? You get five temporary hit points. Hey! Thank you. Yay. Thanks for reminding me. That ferocious scream.

It's because I couldn't hear it in Discord. That's why. I forgot. You'll have to tune in to the episode after it releases to hear my scream. Here's a job for our audience. I'm going to need you guys to rate how good that scream was and add us on socials with how good on, or you can send us on Twitter. How good was the scream?

Man, I really hope Micah replaces it in post with you going like, ah. Can we get the listeners to send us their best goat screams, their best giant goat screams on social media? I'm going to need you to go to show me you showing your mom your best goat scream. It's best if she doesn't know you're doing it. Chris actually just sounded like a goat just now. I used to have to. It was really good. I refuse to take part.

Send us your best goat impression at StinkyDragonPod. No context. Just post it on social media. Yeah, don't even tag us. We'll find it. Elder Wanabe turns to you all. Take heart, Paladins, for we are nearly there. Look, even now I see the entrance. You struggle to see up the mountain and catch a glimpse of

a shimmering archway not too far in the distant night. You also swivel your head around for any sign of Ladoria, but you find nothing. Perhaps Ladoria has retreated back to her. Slam! High up near the crest of the mountain, you spot the shadowy silhouette of a dragon tail strike the mountainside, and you begin to feel

the earth rumble around you. Oh. Oh no! It's a landslide coming this way! What do you do? Oh no. Uh, we should probably avoid the landslide. Is there a direction we could go in to avoid it? I avoid the landslide. Sure. How do you avoid the landslide, Mud?

I can help with this, Mud, if you need. I have exploding arrows so I could, like, clear some of the rubble out of the way. You know, classic gold miner using dynamite. It's still all coming down. Yeah. I go, could I just, like, is anybody chasing us at this point? No, just the dragon who has now moved up ahead to

the side to cause the landslide. Okay, I stop and I just don't go towards the landslide. What when Abbey says, don't slow down, we won't make it through. It'll block the way. I speed up. I have a question. Is the landslide, is it going to hit us from above or like... Or below?

Well, like, is it... Probably from the side. Is it falling on us or is it going to crumble us from above or below? Probably from the side. Is it falling on us or is it going to crumble? It's like sliding down the mountain. Presumably it wouldn't hit you over the top. It would landslide down and then shove you off and then make the pass impassable. And we're going under where

that is, yeah? Correct. It's like you're on the side of a mountain trail and this is all coming down. Bart, deploy a thousand mage hands. Well, a thunder wave maybe is what yeah? Correct. It's like you're on the side of a mountain trail, and this is all coming down. Bart, deploy a thousand mage hands. Well, Thunder Wave maybe is what I was thinking. I could push the stuff, but I didn't. I go fast. Maybe I could cast also Thunder Wave at this point so that if anything, pieces of rubble get close to us,

it'll also push them out. You push it away? Yeah. So could I cast Thunder Wave? You can ready that. Okay, I'll ready it. That way, if something does make it through and it looks like it's going to hit, you can be ready to Thunder Wave it.

I don't know how to actually ready a spell other than have my mouse hovering over the button. That works. Now I know if we come to a scenario where it looks like something fails, you're ready to act. So Mud, make an athletics check to see if you have enough gas in the tank to accelerate. Sure you don't want to do like a saving throw? No, I like athletics. Sure you don't want to do a saving throw? Nah.

I'm going to re-roll that with my inspiration dice. That was a one. 19. 19. That's excellent. Everyone who's in the cart almost like loses their footing because the acceleration is so fast. Yeah.

The goat moves with blinding speed. Actually, yeah, the three of you, make a dexterity check to make sure you stay on your feet. You keep calling Gum-Gum my name and you keep referring to me as the goat. The goat, yeah. I have a name. I'm not just a goat. I'm mud. Yeah, you're the goat now. Actually, I take it back.

Gum-Gum does not need to make a dexterity saving throw because he's attached to mud. But we all do. Yeah, Bart and Kyborg make dexterity saving throws. Dexterity saving throw because he's attached to mud. Oh, we all do? Yeah, Bart and Kyborg make dexterity saving throws. Dexterity saving throw. That's a 16. That's a 16 for me as well. Yeah, you all stumble a little bit,

but you managed to keep your footing in the cart as the goat, a.k.a. mud, accelerates to near light speed, evading the landslide. I'll roll NPCs? I'll roll for them. Here is for Wanabe. Oh, easily. 18. And for Duncan. Let's double check. That's a 1.

He's just like, Bye, Duncan. Miss you. I didn't drink my coffee this morning. Help me. Duncan falls prone in the cart, spilling his coffee everywhere and taking a point of damage. He's just so scared that he falls prone. My coffee!

I'm just impressed he's had his coffee not spill his entire chase. That's very true. Everyone's going crazy and he's doing his best to stabilize a cup of Joe and he's just like... Who's going to help like who's gonna help him like help him back up oh don't everyone go at once what do you what do you like he's prone

does he need healing he's prone pick him up yeah he just like fell and he's got his coffee spilled i'll pick him up by his little dragon scruff and then i'll say something cool and draconic like i got you bro and that sounds like something cool and draconic like i got you bro and that sounds like you speak draconic too turns out barge is throwing up over the side of the cart i just said something really terrible in your language i I like the idea of that happening behind Kyborg.

Kyborg hears that and spins around to look at Bart, and Bart's just like, over the edge of the car. Mud, you get advantage on the next scenario for your successful check. You hear voices calling out. Hurry, my friends, this way. You strain your eyes to the other three elders standing near a shimmering archway made from various metals and gemstones. We're almost there. Elder

Wanabe exclaims, Look out! Ladoria is coming back around. Ladoria circles around overhead and unleashes an inferno of blackness out of her mouth. Everyone make a dexterity saving throw. Aye, aye, aye, aye, aye. 18.

I want to use my inspiration die to reroll that. All right. 14. 23. 18. Queens, the advantage that I'd gotten previously, is that usable in this one? That was on ability checks.

Okay. All right. Let's see. Everyone's going to take a little bit of damage. If you saved, you take half. Even. Alright. Let's see. Everyone's gonna take a little bit of damage. Uh, if you saved, you take half. Even a 23? Bart, you are the only one who saved, so you will take half. Oh.

Phew. Good thing I used my inspiration die. Oh, wait. I failed? Yeah. Uh, can I use... I think you gotta get a 20 or up is what it sounds like. Lucky. No, I have a, what was that? Dexterity saving throw?

Yeah. Yes. I could use my indomitable. You can use reroll saving throw that you fail. You must use the new roll. No, nevermind. Don't take it. Don't take it.

Okay. I'm rolling damage. Everyone takes this except for Bart. Bart, you take half. What. I'm rolling damage. Everyone takes this, except for Bart. Bart, you take half. What kind of damage is it? Oh, wait, wait, wait. I rolled the wrong dice. My bad.

And don't forget that you have some HP. Yes. Don't look at that number. Oh, my God. Oh. That was the wrong dice. Necrotic damage. Oh.

80 points of necrotic damage. Oh, that's a lot. It's a really good thing I re-rolled because that would have been like most of my health. So I take 40. It is most of my health. Goodbye, everybody. So probably still too late to roll Indomitable then, huh? Because I know the consequences.

I roll Indomitable too. And everyone except for Bart is now frightened. I know I'm not you said I'm not frightened, but I have resistance against being frightened, so I don't know if I also take less damage from not frightened, but I have resistance against being frightened. So I don't know if I also take less damage from that attack in general. Nope. Okay.

Can I try something? Yeah. So now that I have this breath diagem, I have silver tongue, which means I could mimic the sound made by other creatures. Could I try to mimic the dragon sound to like scare her or like think that there's like another big dragon here to like fight her oh i like the sound of that yeah why not what do you think a dragon like that sounds like

make a performance check me so hungry for little fighters uh performance and i have advantage on performance but i rolled a nat 20 that's a 33 so i don't think check. Me so hungry for little fighters. Uh, performance. And I have advantage on performance, but I rolled a nat 20. That's a 33, so I don't think I get more than that. Holy crap. Bart becomes a dragon. Yeah, that is amazing. Uh, Latoria almost like turns on a dime in the air and circles

away, uh, in the opposite direction away from where you are. She turns around for a bit midair, confused as to where the other dragon might be. You hear Elder Wanabe yell out, All together now, we breathe as one! All four elders exhale a barrage of elemental breaths at Ladoria, bombarding the dragon with fire, frost, poison gas, and light. Ladoria roars in pain and is sent careening over the mountainside into the distant darkness below. Salutations, Stinky Dragon dwellers.

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Want to give you a heads up due to the holidays, our next episode is going to be released just a few hours later than it normally does. So all you early risers that roll out of bed and partake in the daybreak stink, don't panic. The episode will be up in the afternoon. Thanks and happy holidays. I make myself throw up to contribute as well.

I go, What did you say about my mother? Elder Wanabe waves his scaly hand over the archway and a gate of shimmering energy appears in the entranceway. There, that should buy us some time. Everyone roll a perception check. Nine. 26.

15. Nine. Twins. All right, Kyborg and Gum-Gum, you're still catching your breath from escaping Ladoria and you swear your life briefly flashed before your eyes. What did you all see when your life flashed before your eyes? I saw myself ascending to the ancient temple of wizards,

which I don't know that exists, but I imagine it exists. Like that's what Gum Gums thinks all the wizards go when they die. So when Gus says your life flashed before your eyes, you make up a life that flashes before your eyes? Yeah, I think that's where I think I'm going when I'm dying. So it's not about like the life that you've already lived or anything that has already existed. You know what?

Actually, Gum-Gum's life flashing before his eyes would in fact be just Gum-Gum's death flashing before his eyes because he is so confused he would get the opposite. Kyborg, what did you see when your life flashed before your eyes? Oh, wait, I have one more thing too. I also see a bunch of fuzzy hair and like a giant beard

which would just be the goat in front of my face. Worth coming back to it for the joke, Chris. Worth coming back to it. I was picturing like the floating head from Zardoz. What did Kyborg see when his life flashed before his eyes? I actually did some math and I realized just how much time I spend in the gym. This is both the character and Blaine.

1.5 hours a week, five days a week. That's, you know, 390 hours a year, 16 days out of my life that I spend in the gym. What could I have done with that time? Not perfecting my body with muscle, with weights and cardio. Worked out even more. I didn't work out enough. I start saying it to myself. You seem like nearly enough.

I start vomiting. Does it sound like draconic as well? Mud, you actually rolled a little better, so you notice a little more. You take in your surroundings. You see you're in the bowels of what appears to be a dormant volcano. There appears to be a massive cavernous chamber, but instead of a pool of scorching magma, in the center is a cool chromatic liquid shimmering from color to color,

refracting light onto the surrounding igneous rock walls. Like the fountain water. Yeah, similar. Bart, you notice that floating atop the chromatic pool are four finely hewn tiles made of different materials, each with a unique glyph etched in the center. The four tiles are respectively made of bronze, silver, jade, and jasper. Like the dragons, right?

Dragonborns? Yeah. Furthermore, as you're looking into the shimmering pool, you swear you catch a glimpse of eyes looking back at you, but when you look again, they're not there. Oh. Creepy. What kind, how big of the eyes were they? Like human size eyes or like?

Bigger. So like wolf seeing pretty lady awooga eyes? Sure. Yeah. Or like dragon eyes. Those two. Elder Numido interrupts your staring at the fountain. We don't have much time, fellow elders.

We must summon the ancient dragons if we are to stand any chance against Laudoria or the Shadrow. Estream replies, Agreed. But the ancients have never been summoned with visitors in our midst. Gives you all a little side eye. I just wave. I just have that vacant stare that all goats have. Their eyes are looking in two different directions.

Two different directions, yeah. Because their pupils are, like, weird. Yeah, they're like squares. Anyway, Shizu says... Our options are limited. After all, they did aid us in escaping the Shadrow and reaching the summit. Elder Wanabe turns to you all. I can vouch for their virtue and honor, but they can also speak for themselves.

What say you? Will you stay and face the ancient dragons, or go back outside to face the darkness alone? We can face the ancient dragons. We can close our eyes if you want. Me shall face the ancient dragons in here. I'm doing the dragon voice. I like how your dragon

voice is kind of like Gungans from episode one. It is. It's Jabba the Hutt meets Gungans. Yeah. Boss Nass. Yeah, no, I say it'sutt meets Gungans. Yeah. Boss Nass. Yeah, no, I say, it's cool. We're cool. We're on your side. We're totally bros.

But I all say it in draconic. So. To really hit the point home. Yeah. Uh-huh. And that sounds like. And in order to undercut Kyborg's attempt at sounding cool, I just scream again as a goat.

Which sounds like... Aw, yeah, needed it for us. We only had the very beginning. Yeah. Well, Elder Wanabe looks at Kyborg, then looks at the goat, then looks back at Kyborg and says, Well, then it's settled. We summon the Ancient Ones now and plead for mercy on behalf of our visitors. They all bow

in agreement. Elders Namito, Estream, and Shizu begin wading into the pool, and as they do, uniquely colored waves ripple along from their bodies, green, red, and silver. No one told me this was a pool party. Are you guys sure you want to go in that pool? I saw eyes in there.

Elder Wanabe leans in toward you all. Have any of you ever been in the presence of ancient dragons before? Did the one that we just, that almost killed us count? No. I had one come to my fifth birthday party, but that's about it. Can I cannonball into that pool with him, or is this like a sacred ritual? Don't ruin the ceremony. If you want to.

Well, I ask. I ask Wanabe. Holy water that is sacred to a sacred ritual? Don't ruin the ceremony. If you want to. Why ask? I asked Wanabi. Holy water that is sacred to a people group. Cannonball! Okay. Wanabi doesn't answer your question, Qyborg. He just gives you kind of a look like he's doubting the choices he's made in his life so far. Okay, cool.

I get that look a lot. Most interactions with Qyborg end in that. Very well. Perhaps you should prepare gifts or reverent remarks to present the ancients. Maybe this will assuage their disposition. Wanabe bows and he too enters the pool, causing bronze waves to ripple around him. Can I prepare my gift? Yeah.

I want to make a dragon flower. What's a dragon flower? It's a dragon. It's just like red. It's something that's in Chris's recent search history. Yeah. It's like a big red flower with a dark black thing in the middle, kind of like a tongue. Okay. It looks pretty cool.

I've never heard of dragon flower before right now. I assume you hadn't either until you Googled it three seconds ago. Nope. Yep. Sure. neither until he googled it three seconds ago. Uh-huh. Nope. Yep. It bears a rich maroon flower that reaches up to 36 inches in length. What are you

compensating for? Yeah, sure. And do you do that with your staff? Yeah. All four dragonborn climb atop their respective tiles and chant together in draconic. Inspira, Yatus speak, Clive.

But you get the gist of it. I see. Vroom! Brilliant beams of light shoot up out of the tiled glyphs, and the four Dragonborn drop to their knees, and each exhales out their distinct dragon breath. Lightning, crack, frost, poison, and fire. The elements fill the air, and the elders fall prostrate on the tiles.

The mountain violently quakes beneath your feet. Everyone needs to make a dexterity saving throw because of the earth shifting under you. I was not prepared for the sound of poison. Oh my god. It's only 14 for me. 14. 10. 15. Wow. Pretty low

rolls for everybody. Oh wait. I get advantage on this. 20. Oh wait. Yeah. Can we use that advantage? That was a check. No. That's an ability check. This is saving throw. Duh. RDSF. So I guess maybe it's because of your four legs, Mud.

It is. You're able to keep your footing, your hoving. I'm a goat. Yep. Bart, Kyborg, and Gum-Gum all fall prone to the ground as it shifts beneath their feet. So does that do anything to anything? No, you're just like, there's prone.

Just laying down. From the chromatic pool emerges four shimmering scaly dragons with wings larger than temples and tails as long as elder pine trees. As they each land on the rocky shores of the pool, the mound around you trembles and shudders. Crunch. Everyone make a constitution saving throw. A lot of saving throws.

This isn't frightened or poison, is it? No. Yes. It is? So I have advantage on those. So I'm going to do it again. You can roll twice. I only got 11 still.

I only have a plus two. 10. 26. 14 and 18. I have advantage on constitution saving throws because I'm a die jam. 18. So 18. All right. All constitution saving throws because I'm a die jam. 18. So 18. All right, Oli, you failed.

You are all, uh... Hold on, hold on, hold on. I'm going to use that. Whatchamacallit. I'm going to use, uh, the... Uh, never mind, never mind. Yeah, go ahead. You're getting scared.

You're getting scared right now. How could I be? The guy took 80 points away from me the last time I messed up. Everyone, uh, is just just terrified you all are frightened at the mere presence of these uh ancient dragons uh that have emerged in front of you you've never seen anything this big or been in the presence of anything this powerful this metal in your lives one of the dragons leans its red spiked head down toward the elders and bellows in a gravelly tone.

Why have you summoned Ashiko to the material plane, mortals? The four elders continue to bow low and you notice each of them are quivering like jelly. Bart also bows. Or I guess he's on the floor. It's easy because you're already on the floor. He puts his head kind of in his like, he goes fetal position.

Ducks his chin. Yeah. I would think you're just like already laying down in your arms, just like shoot out to the side. Boom. The green dragon bellows, Speak now or face the wrath of Geo, you foolish. But then he stops.

His green gaze turns towards the four of you, and his cauldron-sized nostrils flare a noxious gas into the air. The third silver-skilled dragon cranes his neck with wide eyes to you all. What is the meaning of this? This irreverence? Whom dares to defile the presence of Sunam? All four towering dragons turn their attention to the four of you. Elder Dmitito asks,

Please, ancient ones, allow me to- Silence, dragonborn. I asked the heathens. Mudd just looks around looking for the heathens. For the heathens, yeah. Bart stays low to the ground. Still has a goat like chewing on something. Yeah.

Like looking around. I'm the only one standing too they're all on the ground and there's just a giant goat standing feel free to say why we deserve to be here team we're here to help save the dragonborn people there are bad guys coming to kill everyone and destroy all your temples are we allowed to say that we're paladins or is that gonna be a bad news bears for us oh that's up to you well did it when abby said that they were a paladin as well so they're they're good with it the other elders might not be i think we should still follow the rule well it's namito

that wanted us to get to summit to find the three ancient dragons correct but if you remember none of the elders and none of the people in the village when you first got here knew what a paladine was. They were all confused by that. They'd never heard the word before. Wanabe did introduce himself as a paladine. But so far from your experience with this group of people, he's the only one who has even used that word. I see. Geo says, I'm your goat as an offering is not enough for ancient ones as us.

I'm not an offering. I'm a to go as an offering is not enough for ancient ones as us. I'm not an offering. I'm a real boy. I bring this beautiful dragon flower. We basically, the Shadra have invaded and, you know, they're looking for the Paladians, which is us. So we need help. The real me. Spoken with true confidence, mate. I'm on the ground.

I like your picture as Bard is saying this. He still has not raised his head. He's like talking into the ground. So we're going to apologize and we need help because we are coming for us and I'm really scared. I just want to go home. I just want to go home to my bed and my

musical instruments. Guys, I'm a great admirer of dragons. I myself speak Draconic. I'm also married to a dragon, sort of. Lin-Mir, my beautiful wife. My beautiful dragon wife. Oh, try to kiss one of them. Try to kiss one of them.

I will prove to you how devoted I am to the dragon ways. And then I kiss Gum-Gum so that Lin-Mur can show up. Are you okay with this, Gum-Gum? My first real kiss. Are you going to kiss Gum-Gum on the cheek, on the lips? How is this going to go? On the cheek. Okay, you lean in to kiss Gum-Gum on the cheek.

But Gum-Gum's whole face doesn't turn into Lin-Mur. Lin-Mur's face just appears on Gum-Gum's cheek. So that her lips meet yours as you go to kiss Gum Gum. Behold, Lin Murr, my beautiful wife. Uh-uh, that kiss is mine. That's right. That's terrifying. Gum Gum, make me a religion check since you're offering that flower.

A religion check, not charisma? Let me see. No, charisma? Let me see. No, religion. Let me see, no. Gum Gum comes from a charismatic church. Before I do this, I want to use my bolster magic thing. What's that do? It just gives me a D3 to boost. Oh, wait, and I have

advantage on this. I'm finally using that. Why do you have advantage? Yeah, I get advantage on my next thing a while back. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. I thought this whole time GumGum's had advantage on religion checks for some reason. That would have been random. You went to seminary. Okay, so I got

an 8. That's with my minus 3. And then I'm going to roll an additional D3. So that is 11 total. No, that's 10 total. No, because I rolled the D3, so it's plus 3. You rolled a D6. So 1 and 2 is 1, 3 and 4 is 2, 5 and 6 is 3.

Oh. I didn't know that. Oh, oh. I was dumb. Yes. Yeah, it's a 3, so I know why you would think a 3, but it's the middle, so it'd be 2. 10 then. So a 10.

I assume you hold the dragon flower up? Mm-hmm. All right. Since it's red, I guess Ashiko, the red dragon, would lean in close to inspect it. He inhales and takes a deep breath, which almost, it's like sucking all the air in front of you. It almost knocks you off your feet. Then Ashiko takes a bite and eats the dragon flower. And you just hear him say,

Disgusting. Well, that was rude. The green dragon says, this is most unorthodox, but they seem to have some semblance of honor. Unorthodox, Geo. They're abominations and they should be snuffed out where they stand. Perhaps soon on. Then again, we have yet to hear from our sister Sora.

Care to weigh in on the fate of these pagans? But Sora doesn't respond to Ashiko. She simply furrows her bronze brow and stares at Bart for a moment. Finally, she opens her mouth. Are you what they call a halfling? Are you talking to me? I can't see who she's looking at. Are you talking to me? I can't see who she's looking at Could I like lift put my head like I'm still

Bowing on the ground but I tilt my head to look At them Well played Yeah If that's okay with you ma'am Only a half thing I'm also a bard If you want me to play you a little ditty.

Elder Wanabe says, If I may, your grace. Sora nods her bronze head. I believe he is the one. That is, the one the legends speak of. The red dragon asks, Surely you don't mean the quarterling? Respectfully, your greatness, I do.

Do you not sense it? Ashiko merely scoffs and blows a puff of smoke from his red snout. The bronze dragon says, I sense it too, my child. But does he breathe as one? I fear not, your grace. Yet look what he wears upon his thumb. What's on your thumb?

Bart sticks his thumb out and shows off the gem. Behold! Is it really a breathtaking gem? The blue, red, and silver dragons begin murmuring amongst themselves. Impressive to say the least, halfling, but you still have yet to breathe as one. The silver dragon says,

Indeed, step into the primordial pool if you truly are the quarterling. Every eye in the cavern turns to Bart. All right, listen, I know I'm short for a halfling, but quarterling is a bit of a... Am I able to get up or am I still, like, do I need someone to help me up? No, you can get up. Yeah, Bart, this thing where he, like, rolls over and, like, slowly me up. He just rolled. No, he can get up. Yeah, Bart, he had this thing where he like rolls over

and like slowly gets up like, sorry that one took me out a little bit. His little butt crack is showing. Truly the one. I whisper to Bart,

I go, you're at least a thirdling, okay? Oh, thank you. Wait, hold on. Bart pulls up his pant legs because he doesn't want

them to get too wet because who likes wet pants? And then wades himself into the water or into the liquid. As you enter the pool, Bart, the liquid begins to fizzle and ripple with a spectrum of shimmering colors. You feel a tingling sensation in your toes and fingertips. Bart, make a charisma saving throw. Is this going to be like that scene from Beauty and the Beast

where the beast becomes the prince? I think it's more like it might be a Pokemon evolution phase. Which saving throw, sorry? Charisma. Charisma. Which you have advantage on with the breath diagent. I do, yes. He grows half an inch.

20 would be my higher. Not what you expect, though. He doesn't need more length there. His big toes are already way too long. Toes. A soothing and familiar voice echoes in everyone's heads. You recognize it in your heart as the voice of Dia. Wow.

Oh, it's Dia. When darkness drapes the dragon's isle and shadows shroud the ground, one shall rise both half and half with voice of great resound. A quarterling of small and tall, his breath shall

reach the shores and cast the darkness far from here his light forevermore the tingling sensation surges throughout your body and reaches your throat the bronze dragon says recite the incantation as soon as the words leave your lips you feel that surge of energy leave your throat and explode into the cavern above. A rainbow array of elements showers into the air, filling the cavern with fire, frost, lightning, and more. Bart, you now can add a new feat to your character feat.

Breath of the Quarterling. I'm the Quarterling. He's vomiting rainbows. Bart learned how to fuss Roda. I did. I also don't know if I said it exactly how Gus said it. You said it pretty good. I want to know what it does.

Breath of the Quarterling. When you gain this feat, you gain the following benefits. The power to spew magical energy from your mouth. Hell yeah. Choose acid, cold, fire, force, healing, lightning, poison, or thunder. The creature can use an action to exhale energy of the chosen type in a 15-foot cone. Each creature in that area must make a dexterity save and throw

using your spell to save DC, taking 12d6 damage of the chosen type on a failed save or half as much damage on a successful one. Wow. Heck yeah. How often can you do that? Once per long rest. It doesn't say on there, but it's once per long rest. Cool. Excellent.

That's cool. It's an end in a super vomit. The bronze dragon asks, then it is true. Has darkness reached the shores of Tatora? Yeah, basically it has. It has reached the shores of Tatora.

Oh, Gum-Gum's dad's back. What? Gum-Gum. Gum-Gum, do you recognize that voice? Quick, look around. Dad, you're a dragon. The bronze dragon says, We will fly at once and provide aid to the people of Tatora.

But I'm afraid the darkness must be defeated at its black heart. The quarterling and his friends must enter the shadow main and dethrone the so-called queen. Do you know of what I speak? Yeah, she basically was trying to kill us about five seconds ago. Yeah, Inku. There it is. Yeah, Inku. Inku no like us.

Fear not. We can provide you temporary armor to protect you amongst the shadows. Sora nods to the dragons in each claw single scale from their hides and lay them before you all. You all should be able to see this if you want to add it to your inventory. It's called Ancient Dragon Scale. Like Power Rangers. This dragon scale is roughly the size of a shield and they all have one charge. Uh, this dragon scale is roughly the size of a shield and they all have one charge.

You can expend a charge to use your reaction to either gain a plus five bonus to AC against a single attack made against you or temporarily gain immunity against being frightened for one round of combat. Cool. Oh, okay. So it has to be equipped though. So like for when I'm have a bow and arrow. Correct. Armed, I won't be. I got it.

Micah just said go, go Palladians. Like the Power Ranger theme song. Go, go Palladians like the power ranger theme song really works i have a question a temporary gain immunity against being frightened can you use that if you're already frightened to negate it i would say normally no you could use it well sure why not why not yes oh so we only have one charge and we can expend the charge. Got it. Yes. You can either buff your AC as a reaction, which is really handy. Or if you're frightened, you can dispel or undo being frightened with it. Okay. The bronze dragon turns to the others and says,

Elders, come. It is time to protect the Torah from the shadows. All four elders exit the pool and as they do so, Sora recites something in Draconic. Doro-etsu knocks. The pool suddenly dims in color and a small whirlpool of darkness appears in the center. When you and your friends are ready, Quarterling, dive into the darkness. Elder Wanabe bows deep.

May Dia be with you. The four dragons and four elders lower the primordial gate and exit the cavern into the night. Does anybody wanna maybe look under there first? I saw a pair of eyes and a little bit of a frame. Gum Gum, maybe that was your dad. I jump in. Oh, by the way, everyone can count that as a short rest right there.

Oh, nice. Oh, okay. Thank God. Not that I think it really does anything. I can expend hit die. Oh, to heal? Yeah. I'm down by a bit. Oh, expend hit die. Oh, to heal? Yeah. I'm down by a bit.

Oh, 80 hit points. Wah, wah, wah. Am I able to do that on a short rest as a bard? Yeah. Yeah, everyone should be able to do that. It's not like an automatic thing. I think you have to, it's like a separate area where you have to mark it off. How many are we allowed to?

Your level of hit die. So you're 12. I have 12. Yeah. All right, back to full health. Hey, I have a question about timeline. Has it been a full day since we left for this place? It's nighttime right now.

Since you left for this place? You mean since you left Boulderay? Yeah. Yes. Is that enough to attune to my other acts? It was 24 hours. I had to, like, balance with it. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Could I do a quick thing for mud? Yeah, what's up? I use my cloak of the secluded garden and I go check on my tree. Oh, yeah. It is starting to grow faster than you expected. Oh, nice. Well, I water it. Ooh, water.

Make a nature check, mud. Nice. You water it okay. That's the best watering job. A little bit of pee in there. Yeah. You spill a little bit on your foot. You start watering the leaves and you remember, oh wait, no, the ground. The ground. John, do you remember

the tree at the house you grew up in? Micah's asking. Yes. Okay, yeah, he does. What was the point of the question? He says the little one with stilts. Little tree with stilts? It's so cute. Was that the quarterling the question? He says the little one with stilts. Little tree with stilts? It's so cute. Is that the quarterling?

Oh, I think I know what he's talking about. Yes, I know exactly what he's talking about. That's the size. Oh, okay. Bart will jump in, but he's very scared. So Bart jumps in, but he's a little scared? Yeah. Yeah, the quarterling, though.

He holds on to Gum-Gum's friendship bracelet. Yeah. I have a speed of 35, so I'm going to back up 15 and then sprint and then jump 20. And then I'm going to summon the ancient ball of cannon, and I'm going to go cannonball! Make an acrobatics check. Acrobatics check, of course, of course. It's not my best splash, 16. It's all right. It's respectable. Not amazing. All right, so everyone jumped in, of course. Of course. It's not my best splash. 16. It's alright. It's

respectable. Not amazing. Alright, so everyone jumped in, right? Yeah. Okay. You dive into the black abyss and splash. Everything goes dark. Everyone roll a perception check. Ooh, nat 20, 29, 9, 19. I rolled a

25. GumGum, I think you always roll a 9 or less on perception checks because I think you're mostly the reason I get to read the low check numbers on these. It's always because of Gum Gum. All right. Well, Gum Gum, you see nothing, but in the distance you hear the rumbling of thunder and the rustling of wind and you feel a cold sweat come over you, now shivering in the darkness.

Everyone else, or the other three of you, after a moment your eyes adjust to the darkness and before you is a black, igneous rock path dimly lit by a swirling portal behind you. The path quickly crumbles to an end and drops into a murky pool of purple fluid with several jagged rocks protruding the surface. One sizable crag of black rock stands in the center of the pool, with a set of stairs leading up to a spiked throne of black spires. A shadowy and slender long-haired woman with pointed ears and indigo eyes sits on the throne. Bart and Mud, you instinctively look around and you spot two details amidst the darkness.

First to the north, which is your left, you spot a small box made of bones precariously sitting on the edge of a craggy rock overlooking a waterfall of purple fluid falling into blackness. Second, you look past Inku on her throne and spot three shadowy figures. It looks like a halfling, a dragonborn, and a human. Inku greets you. Welcome, Bartholomew. You're right on time. Inku stands up from a spiny throne in the center of the pool. A veil of darkness drapes her gaunt figure. A thin smile curls along her black lips, and she waves her spindly fingers at you. I'm waiting. Her eyes narrow.

I thought you would have learned some manners by now. I agree. Manners are everything, my dear. But I suppose we can simply chalk that one up to bad parenting. I laugh awkwardly as well. Make a performance check. Good one, Inku. Two.

It's just like one of those really awkward moments where even your party turns and stops and stares at you. Like, what are you doing? Trying to break the tension. Come on. I start shoving him a little bit back through the portal. All the way across the purple pool, you spot a middle-aged man in a tattered top hat slink out from the shadows.

He's wearing a black suit, a red ascot, sporting a well-groomed Van Dyke beard. Hugh Manor. It feels like it's been ages since I've seen the four of you, doesn't it? Oh, yes, dear Infinites, I remember you. I will admit, you may have found success in the past, but my eyes were always on the future. Quite right, my dear. But in this place?

Waves her skeletal hands around. Time stands still. And without the light of day, it can feel like an eternity. Can it, Bart? Inku snaps her fingers and two figures appear beside her manner. They're bound and gagged by inky black vines, a ginger-haired halfling, and a golden dragonborn. Looks like I'll finally have the full set of the Finn family! Yo, is Bart half dragonborn?

We'll have to tune into the next episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon to find out. No. Mama, Papa. born we'll have to tune into the next episode of tales from the stinky dragon to find out this was a really fun episode for a second i thought you're gonna tell me that hugh manor was my dad and i was gonna be like that's impossible all right well thanks for listening i had a lot of fun with this episode uh with you guys i always like the episodes where uh you guys get to to come up with solutions to problems that are put in front of you to see what you all come up with. Like a lot more free form. It was fun. Yeah.

That was scary, that episode. Mm-hmm. A little scary. All right. Well, you'll feel better next week when we have another episode of Tales from the Sneaky Dragon. Here's a quick shout out to folks that interacted with us on social media recently. Here are some NPCs named after them in this episode. Ladoria the Shadow Dragon named after La Ladoria.

Bolink the Shadrow named after AtlinkIB. Namito the Dragonborn Elder named after Falsely Named. Estream the Dragonborn Elder named after Estream Writes. Shizu the Dragonborn Elder named after Grill Sheez. And Wanaabe the Dragonborn Elder named after Just Wannabe Funny. Also want to give a special thanks to some friends who provided voiceover for characters in this episode like elder winabi voiced by our own stinky dragon producer ben ernst bow link voiced by achievement hunters joe lee elder namito voiced by stinky dragon producer brendan carothers elder estream voiced by

roosterteeth quentin smith elder shizu voiced by achievement hunters ashley dillard red dragon ashigo voiced by kind of funny's mike howard aka snowbike mike jay dragon geo voiced by Achievement Hunters Ashley Dillard, Red Dragon Ashigo, voiced by Kinda Funny's Mike Howard, aka Snowbike Mike, J Dragon Geo, voiced by Richard T's Hector Gonzalez, Silver Dragon Sunam, voiced by Richard T's Chad James, Bronze Dragon Sora, voiced by Achievement Hunters Kyla Cook, Dia, voiced by Achievement Hunters

Black Crystal, Inku, voiced by Raquel Lily, and Hugh Banner, voiced by Achievement Hunters Trevor Collins. Tune in next time for another thrilling episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon.