Tales from the Stinky Dragon - Paralyte's Poison - Ep. 40: It’s a Trap!

Episode Date: March 9, 2022

The interns have stumbled into the town of Boulderay under the control of the Everguard. Will they be able to free their allies and take back the town?  Follow us on social media: https://linktr.ee/TalesFromTheStinkyDragon Get your RTX badge at http://bit.ly/rtxaustin22 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You'll flip for $4 pancakes at A&W. Wake up to a stack of three light and fluffy pancakes topped with syrup. Only $4 on now. Dine-in only until 11 a.m. at A&W's in Ontario. This is a Rooster Teeth production. Felicitations to all you giant fire beetles! Flutter on into the stinky dragon and guzzle our latest gulp under a bushel! It's a mixture of vanilla violet fungus, fireball whiskey, glow and gala apple juice, and topped with a cinnamon stick.

This blazing beverage will have you lit faster than a dashing tabaxi. Monk wearing boots of speed. What? You want to keep going? Yeah, keep going. This blazing beverage will have you lit faster than a dashing tabaxi. Monk wearing boots of speed. Previously, our adventurers dropped

anchor at some precarious cliffs where sleek initiated a contentious climbing brace with stinky repercussions next the party finally found themselves back at boulder ray but it seems paralytes everguards have taken over the town and the interns have fallen right into their trap. Can the party overcome this ample Evergard ambush? Give your glowing glands a rest and let's stir up this hornet's nest. Let's give a round of applause to Blaine. Good job, Blaine. No one's clapping. Woo!

Very, very prospector, according to Ben. Yeah, I like it. I like having you read it for once. Everyone, welcome back to Tales from the Stinky Dragon. Got a new bartender, I guess. It's the other bartender's brother. Oh, it's the other bartender's brother? Okay.

Yeah. Yeah, it's a brotherly operation. Maybe you're an intern at the bar. Do we have a name for him that you're a bartender? We don't. Maybe someone on social media can suggest us some names if they use hashtag StinkyDragonPod. And what should we name those characters? What should we name that character? Let us know.

So yeah, previously you guys finally got back to Boulder Ray. Oh, actually before that, when you first got back, you all climbed up the cliffs in a race. Gum Gum ended up in first place. Sleek ended up in last place, and he is now Stinky,

per the rules of the race. Y'all came up to Boulder Ray, discovered some guards who you didn't recognize. Bart and Sleek convinced the guards at the gate to let everyone through. Spider Mud did some recon. Y'all snuck into Boulder Ray. You all healed and then woke up. Dr. M, who was in a stockade, and Kyborg undid the lock that had him trapped, but it tripped an alarm that sounded for the Evergards to hear.

Yeah. He walked into their trap. Trats. So you all are in the town square of Boulderay. Just to set the scene, it is nighttime, and there's a few lit torches that are dimly lighting the outside of nearby buildings, and you all had seen a couple, I think I'd said you all had seen four Evergard patrol people. It was two groups of two who were patrolling in the area, checking doors and keeping an eye on things.

And they hear the alarm. Their alarm that they set has been tripped. And they rush on over. So everyone, let's go ahead and start off this episode by rolling initiative. Oh. What? Right at it. I'm a spider still, right?

That's the thing we have to do at the top of every episode is mud. Mud? What's the spider status? Or is mud an animal? I could have sworn you were human by the end of the episode. Can we say for the sake of continuity that even if I wasn't still a spider in the last episode, that I am now? Maybe?

Please? Okay, fine, but only because you asked nicely. Thank you. I rolled a seven on my initiative. Seven as well. So you're in bad company with me. Man, 12. Rolled a one, so I get a three.

We're starting off with a one. I also just realized, too, because I was checking the status of my lucky action, we did not take a long rest. No. When we should have a while ago. What do you mean when we should have? When we should have.

I gave you all an opportunity before you came into Boulder, right? Yep. And I called it out. I said, we should probably take a long rest. And everyone was like, it's right over the hill. It's right over there. That is exactly how it went.

Yeah, but also part of it, the reason is you wanted to rest to refresh your lucky because you used it doing random jumps across the ship. And is there something wrong with that, Chris? No. Yeah. Maybe there is. If then you're asking for like a rest and people are not inclined for it,

then maybe there is something wrong with it. Well, Gus just rolled a 48, whatever that means. So we're going to have a real fun battle here. It's four initiative rolls for the different guards, you see. Oh, okay. So there's four of them. Yes, he said that already. He has said that already.

I said it last week. I said it again now. He didn't give away anything he hasn't given away already. I love your idiot Captain Kirk. Like, so there's four of them. Yeah. So you say there's four of them. Yeah. So you say there's a chance. A little too Zap Brannigan for my taste. Yep.

Okay, well, all of them get to act first because you set off their alarm. So they all get a, we'll call it a surprise round. So yeah, they're going to all close in on you. They're around the square. The square is not that big. At most, they were 20 feet away, so they all have plenty of action to move and then

attack. They're going to come in from two different sides. Well, let's say two of them were in the southwest, two of them were in the northeast, so they're going to close in like that. The first one's going to come up, and let's see, who are they going to attack? None of us gave a ag bar. It's a trap!

Also, no one volunteered to be the one attacked so it's gonna be mud who they attack the first one attacks mud he pulls out a flail and says intruders they fell into our trap get them uh and he swings his flail around at Spider Mud. Squish that spider. Thank you, Micah. He gets a 17. Does that hit? 17? Jesus, they got good armor. Yeah, it gets me. Or they got good attack. They got a good attack roll. You have bad spider armor. That's

12 points of damage. Spider Mud is not going to be Spider Mud for long. Well, let's see, because he then brings the flail back around and takes a second swing at Spider Mud. Oh, but that's an eight. He misses. And then I slap him with one of my arms. And you say, uh-uh-uh, and you wave like six arms at him, six fingers going, no.

Bad. The second one's going to take an attack roll at Bart. Oh, goody. It's going to do the Bart man. This is a rare instance where Bark hasn't, like, fled off to a long-distance place. Actually, we're all gathered up together. This is, like, not ideal.

Mm-hmm. That's why I'm having to roll to see who they're hitting. This one also brings out a flail, takes a swing at Stout Bart, and rolls a 14. I'm not sure. Is that a hit? Armor class is 15.out Bart and rolls a 14. I'm not sure. Is that a hit? Armor class is 15. 15.

That's a miss. Nice. But he also takes a second swing. No. And gets a 21. Boom. No. I don't think that's true.

Fake news. If you don't give them permission, they can't hit you. Exactly. No. Only doing nine points of damage, though. Only. Third one is going to take some swings at Gum-Gum. However, when he tries to pull out his flail,

it like sticks into his belt and he's not able to actually successfully pull it out. So he's unable to actually make any attacks against Gum-Gum. Idiot. Final one's going to attack. It's the final soldier. Bart again. Oh, good.

Oh, goody. They didn't like me saying no to them. It's all for you, Bart. Oh, but he also, I guess, hasn't been properly maintaining his equipment because he tries to pull his flail out, and he loses the grip on the handle and it falls to the ground. And his pants fall down. Sure. It snaps his belt and his pants fall

down around his ankles. And he's trying to get his pants down. How do these guys take over the city? This is the night guard. This isn't their best. This is just like whoever to fill the ranks. Are we sure this isn't the circus? Am I right, guys? Clowns. Look at these guys.

Oh, man. I rolled a lot of ones there. One's and two's. I was rolling terrible there. Alright, so now we're into the actual initiative. The first one that attacked Mud, he must be the leader because he actually did connect earlier and he gets to go again. What? He rolled a better initiative than all you guys.

I know, but so they all got like they all were able to run up on us and attack us. Yeah, they sprung their trap. It's a trap! No, they didn't. I'm calling BS on this. They were doing patrols and they heard the alarm. So they came and attacked us.

They were ready. This is their surprise round to put it in D&D parlance. I don't think you, I don't, I'm thinking through the scenario. I don't think they'd have a surprise. No, they would. We'd be like, we'd be at the ready if we heard an alarm go off. It's like the instantaneous. I remember even when it happened last episode,

Kyborg was like, of course, uh-oh. Alright, well he rolled a 14, which fails to connect, but he takes his second swing and gets a 16, which does hit. Spider Mud takes another, ah, five points of damage. I'm grumpy.

Well, you know what? Just because of that, this one remembers that since he's close to his friend and they're standing side by side, he gets bonus damage. So he does an extra four points of damage to him. Gus, I'm very happy. I'm so happy to be here. He uses his martial advantage. All right, Kyborg, it's your turn. Gus, I'm very happy. I'm so happy to be here.

He uses his martial advantage. All right, Kyborg, it's your turn. Oh, okay. So what's the layout looking like? I mean, I'm imagining those flails make them closer than 10 feet to my friends. Yeah, they're all within 10 feet. Those flails have kind of a long reach because of the chain that attaches the handle to the end. So they're all, you know, within 5 to 10 feet. Those flails have kind of a long reach because of the chain that attaches the handle to the end. So they're all within 5 to 10 feet.

Okay, and if I'm... Am I close enough that I would get disadvantage on Longbow Triumph? What is the minimum range that you need to avoid disadvantage on a ranged attack? You are the archer. Technically, I'm a fighter.

No, I know the answer. I'm just asking you because I want you to know. It says on range 150 feet in 600, but I don't know if that means that I have disadvantage below 150. That doesn't seem right. You know, I'm just going to do a quick Google. You have disadvantage if you're within five feet. So if you're standing next to someone, you have disadvantage.

Okay. The 150 you're talking about is like the're standing next to someone, you have disadvantage. Okay. The 150 you're talking about is like the upper limit, after which then you have disadvantage again because it's a long range shot. Okay. What's the 600 feet mean? Between 150 and 600, you can still shoot that, but you just have disadvantage on that one. I can still nail that shot.

Okay, well, if they're not within five feet, then I'm going to do a longbow tri-off. I'm going to do it on the... Did you say it was a marshal? He used an ability called Marshal Advantage. That was the one that attacked Mudd. There's one attacking Mudd, two attacking Bart, and one attacking Gum-Gum. I think he's married. Help me.

He's married. Okay, I'm going to help Bart. I'm going to help Bart by attacking the one that attacked Bart. One of the ones that attacked Bart. Thank you. Attacked it. All right. Okay, pull up the longbow triumph.

We'll say you're going after the first one, because the second one, his pants fell down. Okay, I'm going after the first one then. And I draw the Longbow Triumph, and I go, hi-yah. It's 25. Oh, that is a hit. And I do a little bit of damage. Seven.

Seven points of damage. Ah, yeah, he takes an arrow to the shoulder. Ow, my shoulder. You like that great voice acting? That was great. That was great. Incredible performance. I'm going to take another shot at that guy because I have two actions now.

Ooh. Oh, you don't even have to surge anymore? Nope. No. Going to take another shot in. Pow! Wow. 18.

18, that hits. The downside of that, though, John, is that now you're going to be encountering a lot more enemies that also get that. Like these you're fighting right now. That's 11 points of damage. 11. Good shot. How's he looking? How's he looking?

Like, you know. Like he's got two arrows in him. Yeah. He's taking some good damage. He's still standing. He's still got plenty of fight in him. He's mean mugging you, though. Oh, okay.

Well, I didn't like that, so I'm going to action surge. Action surge. And take another shot. That's right. Three shots. Longbow triumph. Whatchow! 19.

That's a 29. That hits. Oh, yeah, it does. No stopping kyborg. Wow. More damage. Oh, that's not a lot. Seven.

Still plenty. He's starting to get a little feathered. It's got three bolts sticking out of him. He's feathered because of all the feathers on the arrows that are sticking out of him. Nice. Nice. Exactly. He's getting Boromir'd.

Yeah, very Boromir'd looking. I'm just amazed that this guy's still standing, and then that's my turn. Oh, oh, oh. I want to move away. Back. Get away. Away. Okay. Yeah. I guess, how far do you want to move away. Back. Get away. Away. Okay.

Yeah. I guess, how far do you want to move? No, I don't, because it's going to be an attack of opportunity. I know you. I'll say there's no attack of opportunity, because none of them actually engaged you directly. Okay. Wow. Always the bridesmaid, never the bride.

Then I'm going to just, I'm going to get away. Away. I'm going to get away. Away. At most, I'd say you could move 20 feet away. I'm going to get away. Away. At most, I'd say you could move 20 feet away if you move back to the southeast where you all came into the courtyard from.

I run that way and I say, Southward! Alright. Well, it's that guard's turn, the one that has three feathers in him. Arrows. Three arrows in him. Three bolts. You see three feathers sticking out. He would want to chase you, but Bart would get an attack of opportunity.

What would he do here? No, come on. Come after me. Ooh, chase me, chase me. Oh, I know what he would do. These fighters, like I said, they all have flails in their primary hand, but in their offhand,

they have shields strapped to them. So this one winds up with its shield and tries to swing at Bart and hit Bart with his shield. Stop. He rolls a one. I'm just cursed today. I took your power when I did the bartender thing.

You did. He tries to swipe at Bart with his shield, but Bart deftly dodges out of the way. And the fact that he misses throws him off balance. That's right. That's right. He kind of, like, is stumbling around. He's unable to complete his action. Bart, it's your turn. Then, after Bart is gum-gum.

I want to try to hit that guy. Bart's going to do a hit. The one stumbling. Go for it. I'm going to do a hit. I'll say you have advantage, because he's off balance, because he missed his shield. Excellent. I'm going to cast Cloud of Daggers over him.

You and your Cloud of Daggers. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Cast. Cast them inside of him. Ouch. You're gruesome. Cloud of Daggers. It just takes damage. You see, fill the air with spinning daggers. Takes 4d4 damage. It's only a 9. You see, fill the air with spinning daggers. Yep, takes 4d4 damage.

Oh, it's only a nine. You rolled a nine. All right. A whirring nightmare of daggers appears over that guard, starting to slice him, give him little cuts and nicks all over. He's yelling. He's not doing well. He's the only enemy of y'all's who has taken any damage,

and he's taken all of the damage. Ow, ow, ow, ow. My eye, my arm, ow, my leg. Okay, anything else, Bart? I think that's it for now. Okay, cool. We got Gum-Gum, then a guard, and then Mud. So Gum-Gum, you're up.

Okay, so what are their positions right now, the group of guards? Because the one ran forward towards Bart. There's two of them around Bart, one of them around you, Gum-Gum, and one of them by Mud. Okay, I guess I'm just going to rage and roll my thingy okay yeah oh that's the wrong dice i rolled a one on my d8 that's what that's ignore the other actually actually click the d20 it is each creature of your choice that you can see within 30 feet of you must succeed on a constitution saving throw or take 1d12 necrotic damage. You also gain temporary hit points equal to 1d12 plus your barbarian level.

All right. So I guess I'll roll a d12 for my hit points. Well, this would be the damage. So they take the 1d12 damage. Then you take this plus your barbarian level. Gotcha. Is what you gain. So you rolled a 2.

2 plus my barbarian level. Gotcha. Is what you gain. So you rolled a two. Two plus my barbarian level six, so eight. Yeah. You gain eight temporary hit points, and I assume you target all of the enemies, all four of them? Yeah, get all four of them. They all take two points of damage. Two points of necrotic damage, just to be clear.

Very specific type. Yeah. And then can I reach the ones that are around Bart? Are they close enough to me where I can reach them without moving? No, because you only have a five foot reach with your weapon. Okay. If you had something with range or with reach, I'd say you could, but no.

You can only attack enemies immediately next to you. Okay. Well, if I was to throw my javelin of lightning, who would be in the path of it? Oh. It's within five feet. So your reach is five feet with that, but you could throw it. Yeah. I'd say you could probably, from where you are,

you'd be able to affect both of the ones that are attacking Bart. Okay. Or you could affect the one attacking you and Mud. Okay. Well, I'll throw my javelin of lightning at the one attacking Bart. Lightning doesn't hit the one that I throw it at, but it does hit the people around it. Right.

So the javelin will damage the one you're targeting, which is the one that's taken all at, but it does hit the people around it. Right, so the javelin will damage the one you're targeting, which is the one that's taken all the damage so far, and then the lightning would affect the other one that has its pants down current. Okay. And I will do that. It's like that nightmare we've all had, where you show up to school, you don't have your pants on, you're struck by lightning.

Time to end the infinites. Oh, my ding-dongs out. Oh. Alright. That was Time to end the infinites. Oh, my ding-dongs out. All right. That was a 17 to hit. Okay, that does hit. So you do seven points of damage to the one who has taken all the damage. He looks very bloodied and is barely standing at this point.

Oh, seven plus two because I'm raging. No, I think rage damage only adds for melee attacks, doesn't it? Is throwing something not melee? Melee damage is like if you swing a weapon. Oh, okay. It's a projectile at that point. Yeah, if you were using the javelin to stab someone right next to you, it would be melee. But when you throw it, it's not.

Gotcha. So, yeah, I guess I would do seven at that guy. And then DC 13 or take 4D6 lightning damage. DC 13 dexterity save. Before I roll it, let me look up what it is. They get a plus one. It is a six. They fail to save.

All right, so it takes 11 points of damage. And that's the other one that was attacking Bart. Takes 11 points of damage. Is the one that got the javelin hit still standing? Barely. He is barely standing at this point. How is this man still upright? It's quite impressive. Hey, listen. You guys have gotten stronger.

The enemies are stronger, too. He's had what, three arrows, a cloud of daggers, and a javelin in him? Yeah. Our plan's going without a hitch. And then I'll swing my second action. I'll swing my greataxe at the one

close to me. I'll swing with, what should we call it? Reckless? Recklessly. Yeah. Okay. Which is good because I rolled a 10. Alright, 17. 17. That one does hit. Yeah. That's a 12 plus 2, so 14. 14. Lots of damage there from GumGum

on all fronts. You didn't drop anybody, but you got really close. Is that it for you, Gum Gum? Yeah, that's it. That's not enough. Mud, you're up. Then a couple of guards, and then back to Kaiborg. So Mud.

So there's the one guard who should be dead, but somehow is defying all logic and still standing. Defying your logic. God's logic. Oh, I'm sorry. I just realized on a hit, the target takes damage from the javelin plus the lightning damage. So he would have taken the additional.

Oh, he would have? Yeah. Oh, he is absolutely dead then. Okay. Yeah. There you go, John. While Mud is thinking about what he's going to do, that man just combusts into ash.

The lightning comes back out of nowhere. A second bolt comes down and strikes him and turns him into that pile of ash. So then the guy that dropped his pants, he's been struck by lightning. And then there's another one that Gum-Gum is by that he just struck with his axe. Correct. And there's also one by you, Mud. Who has not taken any damage. The only damage this one's taken was the necrotic damage

from Gum Gum's wild rage. Is he not close to my cloud of daggers? No, he's over by Mud. Your cloud of daggers is like a five foot cube, so it's pretty limited. What if you just push him? By Mud, you mean he's like next to me, fighting me within five feet, yes?

Yes. Okay, and that guy, the guy that's fighting me, he ain't been hurt at all. He took some of that necrotic damage. Okay, I'm going to cast Heat Metal on his flail that he's holding. Ooh, Heat Metal.

Hot Metal. Check it. Z. And he will take, I'm going to cast this at a third level spell slot. You cast Objects Glow Red Hot. A creature in physical contact with the object takes 3d8 fire damage, and he'll keep taking subsequent damage if he keeps holding it.

He also has to do a constitution saving throw or else he drops it. You say this is the one attacking you? Yeah. All right. Let's see what his constitution save is. His constitution save is plus one. I'm going to roll it right now, so we'll see. 15.

It doesn't say what the save is. Your save DC mod is 16. It's at the top. If you click on spells, it's near the top. Okay, so he's going to drop his... So he's going to drop it. But before he drops it,

he takes 11 points of damage. Ow. Fire damage. Be very precise here. That's important. Yeah. And then as a bonus action, I will turn into a bear.

A German bear. A German bear. Come here. I just thought about something. What's up? Are you changing from a spider to a bear? Nope. That guy knocked the spider out of me.

Oh, he knocked the spider out of you. Okay, okay. Sorry, I should have said that. Mud's been mud this entire time because that guy who'd hit me twice knocked the spider out of me with his marital strike. What was it? Marshall.

Marshall, Marshall. Got down on one knee. Captain of the guards, Marshall, with his Marshall advantage. And so then I've been mud, and so now I want to be a bear. Bear, okay, rawr. And now I'm a big old furry dude.

Could you use heat metal on like a dude's armor and just like roast him? I believe actually, yeah, I can. That's cool. Yeah, it depends. Lots of enemies wear like leather armor. So yeah, you can as long as they have metal armor on. Yeah, it's a metal object. Weapon, suit of heavy or medium metal armor.

That's a cool spell. That's like, that's horrifying. That is a terrifying spell. I like it. It's like Superman. Yeah, I like it. I was thinking Game of Thrones. Oh, yeah. Khaleesi's brother. I was thinking of Ned Stark's father. Oh. Deeper

lore. I like Superman better. I read those books and I can't remember much of anything about him because it's been forever. He's going to finish them any day now. Anything else, Mud? I roar at that guy as loud as I can. Roar. Make an intimidation check.

Just give me a one. Give me a one. Come on. It's going to be bad. Only a 10. A 10. What does the roar sound like? Make it for us, John.

Roar. Whoa, scary. You almost blew out your mic there. I knew that if I had roared, my noise gate would have just stopped and you would have just seen me just like opening my mouth and nothing would have come out. So I had to change my tactic mid-breath. For your viewing pleasures, I was going to fall out of my chair,

but it was such a subtle roar that I kept it. Yeah. He's a little scared, but not too scared. We have a couple of guards going, and then after them is Kyborg. All right. We have the guard whose pants fell down. God, this guard also rolled a one for their initiative, and then their pants fell down. They got struck by

lightning. This is not this guard's day. Oh, gosh. My parents were right. I should have stayed in barber college. This guard is really rethinking the choices in their life that have led them to here.

Guess he'll pick up his pants and he'll be able to make one attack at Bart. Of course. Yeah, he's right next to you. Leave him alone. Hey, hey buddy. Hey. That's a 22, which does six points of damage.

It's the other guards turn the one by Mud who, uh, he's going to drop his flail because it is now glowing hot from the heat metal spell. Oh, man, this is mmm. Alright. He saw Mud turn from

a spider to a furbolg. Now he's a bear that roared at him. He doesn't have a flail anymore. Like I said, he dropped it because of the heat metal. So he's going to go ahead and use his shield and try to strike at the bear with his shield. Good look at that. He cuts off Mud's head.

Oh my God. That's a hit. He hits with the shield. Go ahead and make a strength saving throw, Mud. DC 14. 21. 21. Oh, he hits you,

and it seems like the blow would have knocked you away from him, but you're able to stand your ground and not move away because of your mighty bear strength. Instead, you just take six points of bludgeoning damage. Okie dokie. Kyborg, you are up, and then after kyborg is bart do do do do do

uh okay get away from my bart i want to shoot at that guy okay bart has like the the shiny anime eyes when he says that my hero uh you know what you love it longbow triumph i launch it 14 hero. You know it. You love it. Longbow of Triumph. I

launch it. 14. That hits. Oh, thank god. Okay. Piercing damage is a 9. Dude, 9 points of damage. This guy hasn't taken too much damage yet, but it's adding up. Okay. And then, oh, it was the Marshal.

He got disintegrated by lightning, right? No. The Marshal dropped his flail. Oh, he's still alive though. Yeah, he was the one attacking mud. Okay. All right. I'm going to switch back to that guy and I'm going to take a shot at him. Okay.

But I yell at the guy poking at Bart and I say, come at me. Come over here, coward. But I want to shoot the other guy, the marshal. Okay. Ooh, that's a 25. 25, that hits. Okay. Doing 10 points of damage.

10. Healthy hit. Just for fun, just so we see what happens, why don't you roll me a persuasion check to see if you can convince that other one to leave Bart and come attack you instead. It's a two. Two. He

looks quizzically at you, but the marshal does still take ten points of damage from your mighty long bow of triumph. Yes. I don't think it'd be wise to do a bursting shot because then it'd explode in Bart's face. So I'm going to see if I can go back even further.

I don't know if you can. You're pretty much at the edge. Like if you go any further, you'll be out of line of sight. Like you wouldn't see what was happening. You go like around a building. Got it. Back towards the gates of Boulderay. Okay. All right. Well, then I'm just going to chill there. Okay. We have a Bart. Then after Bart, we have a Gum-Gum. I'm going to roll for chill.

So who is like in my direct line of path right now? Directly in front of you? So who is like in my direct line of path right now? Directly in front of you? Well, you're kind of between the stockades with Dr. Ahem and the guard who has been attacking you, the one who had dropped his pants initially. Gotcha. So if I would cast something like underwave,

who might be picked up in that wave of thunder? It goes out from you, I believe, right? Yes, it's a 15foot cube originating from you. So it's not in a direction per se. It's 15 feet all around. Oh, gotcha. Big old AOE effect. Yes.

But I might end up hitting my teammates if I do that, correct? You 100% will. I have the same spell and I was like, nope, not going to do that. That'd do some damage. I think you would hit everyone. Yeah. Except for Kyborg. Kyborg moved away.

I said go for it! Gosh, I do not have a lot that I could do right now. Maybe, could I try to command these guys to stop? Yeah, you could try it. Did you use command on the... I could have used it on these guards. I think you suggested on the guards you used command on Sleek a few episodes ago.

Yeah, I told him to stay. That's right. Speaking of, where is... Oh, he's hanging out outside. He was commanded to stay. Yeah. How long does that last for? Yeah.

Yes, he's still there. How many episodes? Is he the dog from Futurama? Oh, that's heartbreaking. That was last episode. I guess he's still staying there. God dang it, Slee. Duration one round.

Oh, okay. It's lapsed by now. Yeah, I would love to try command on these cellas. Sure. What you're going to do it on? I assume it's the one immediately next to you who dropped his pants initially. Of course. You got to find just a good list of single words that are very specific things to tell people.

I know. There's got to be a single word for forcing yourself to empty your bowels. That has to be poop. Go on. No, but poop is just a is just, like, a noun. Like, you need specific words that are a command. Defecate. Yeah, that's a good one. There you go.

Because, I mean, that would stop someone dead in their tracks if they're in mid-battle. They'd poop themselves. We already have one stinky person. His wisdom save is a negative one. Your save on this is 14. Let me roll his save first of all. 18.

So it is a successful save. Dang. Okay. Well, that was a bonus action command. Correct. So could I now try instead to make him sleep? Yes. With his pants down.

Well, his pants are back up at this point. But yeah, you can try to make him sleep. Okay. Yeah, I'm going to try to cast that. back up at this point, but yeah, you can try to make him sleep. Okay, yeah, I'm going to try to cast that. So yeah, you roll a 5d8 to see how many hit points of creatures you can affect.

Here we go. Oh, that's a really good roll. 35. 35? I got an 8, 8, 8, 7, and 4. Pretty good. Good lord. It's within 20 feet of a point you choose. So I assume if you're trying to target this one, you would target like 15 feet behind him or something like that. Yes.

I assume you cast a default first level sleep spell or do you cast it at a higher level? I think it's just a default first level. Okay, you can cast it higher level if you want. I can? I imagine you get more hit dice, right? If you cast at a second level, you roll an additional 2d8 for each slot above level one. Oh, I did not know that. I was wondering why some spells showed

up in multiple level areas. Like, I can cast Healing Word at all the levels, and depending on what level I decide to burn a slot, it'll get more HP to people. Gotcha. I'll just do first level for this time, though. First level. Okay. Is there no save on this? No, it's just like, it's

up to, I believe it's like the onus is on the bard to roll enough to, like, hit dice up to, I believe it's like the onus is on the bard to roll enough, like, hit dice. Wow, okay, yeah, no save on it. Bye, Felicia. The guard who has had a terrible time in this encounter, maybe his brain becomes overloaded from rethinking all of his life choices

and just out of sheer embarrassment of everything that's happened so far, he just nods off. And collapses to the ground and takes a little snooze. Sweet dreams, bro. Got him. Next D&D campaign,

I'm going to play a surfer dude. As always, I want to remind you to give us a follow on social media at StinkyDragonPod on Twitter and Instagram. Like I said earlier in the show, we want to hear your ideas for the name of the bartender from the Stinky Dragon. If you use hashtag StinkyDragonPod, your idea might end up in the show or your own name might end up in the show as an NPC. Speaking of NPCs, in this episode, we had Sleek, who was voiced by Ben Ernst, who's one of our producers of the show. Spectral is Christian Young.

Dr. M is Micah Reisinger, who is the writer, editor, and composer of the show and secret DM behind the screen, always in my ear, letting me know when I mess up. So thank you, Micah. You like podcasts, obviously, listening to this one. Did you know there's a podcast festival

at RTX Austin this year? Podcasts of all kinds will be going to Austin, Texas, July 1st to 3rd to do live recordings of their shows, and you could be there. Add some fun to your summer plans. Come see your favorite podcasts in person. Discover new favorites at RTX Austin. RTX Austin takes the best in podcasting, gaming, animation. Brace it all together in Austin, Texas for one unforgettable weekend.

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That's bit.ly slash RTX Austin and the number two and the number two. Get it? Like 2022? Get your badge today. See you in Austin, July 1st to 3rd. Jedi are being murdered. Now streaming.

Star Wars Returns. Only on Disney+. I didn't do it. Believe me. She was my student. Let me be the one to bring her in. Now she's a student of the dark side. An acolyte.

Star Wars The Acolyte. New episodes Tuesdays, only on Disney+. Add your team to your Uber account today. All right, cool. Is that it for you, Bart? Do you have anything else? Where's the closest other guard from where I am right now? The closest other one would be, let's say, 10 feet away. It's like a little away on the other side of the stockades from where you are. It's two of them. There's one

engaged with Gum-Gum and one engaged with Mud. Congratulations. Am I able to move to flank them with my other teammates? Yeah, you could move and threaten. Since there's no one around you, you're able to freely move. You could either threaten the one by Gum-Gum or the one by Mud. Who wants Bart's help? Anybody?

Mud's good. Don't everyone talk up at once. But Mud would not say no to help. Okay, I'll go to the one by Gum Gum or the one by Mud. Who wants Bart's help? Anybody? Mud's good. Don't everyone talk up at once. But Mud would not say no to help. Okay, I'll go to the one by Mud. Okay, you got it. Anything else? Nope. Okay, Gum Gum, you're up, and then a guard, and then Mud. Alright, I'm going to recklessly attack

the guard in front of me. Okay, go for it. With your axe or something? Great axe, yeah. 26. Yep, you hit. That's 18 points of damage. 18 points of damage on the one by you. He's very, very bloodied, but he

is still standing. I guess I'll hit again then. Oh no, this isn't good for him. 21. 21, that hits. With another 18 points of damage. Oh, yeah. He thought he was out of the woods, but then that second great axe attack came through and, uh, it put him out of

the woods in a different way, because he's dead now. Okay. And then I guess I'll just run over to the other one. Nice. Okay. Now, uh, the other one is surrounded by Mud, Bart, and now Gum-Gum. Hi. Alright. That means it is Mud's turn, then a couple, Bart, and now Gum Gum. Hi. All right.

That means it is Mud's turn. Then a couple of guards and then Kyborg. Whee. Okay. So I'm a bear. Hi. Roar. Hi, bear.

So I'm just going to do bear things, you know. You're going to poop in the woods? Yeah. I'm going to go defecate in the woods. I'm going to do a bite. Scary. Just going to go defecate in the woods. I'm going to do a bite. Scary. Just going to go at this guy. And that is a...

That's only a 10. That does not succeed, unfortunately. But good news. I get to attack again. I can do it too. Look at me. I'm the marshal now. Look at me.

Look at me. And I'm going to attack again with my claws. And absolutely 100% get a 22. Nice. That hits. That connects. Yeah. You claw at him.

That's nine. Nine points of clawy damage. Oh, he's not doing too good. Slashing damage. You take a couple swipes at him and you mess him up a little bit. He's still in it, though. Okay. When you claw him, you got to go.

I do another roar. You mix it up. You just go up and be like, oh, bother. Oh, bother. Okay. Well, it's that guard's turn. He's got no weapon because it's been heated out of his hands. It's been. He's surrounded by three of you, and he's got no weapon because it's been heated out of his hands. It's been.

He's surrounded by three of you, and he's got nothing. All right. I guess he'll try to swing his shield at the bear again. It's okay, little guy. You don't need to console the people that are killing us. I don't think they're killing us. That's a 16, which I believe hits. It does. It does. All right. So go ahead and roll a strength saving throw, DC 14. us. That's a 16, which I believe hits. It does. It does.

All right, so go ahead and roll a strength saving throw, DC 14. Oh, that's a one. Oh, okay. So he does actually manage to push you away this time. You take 12 points of damage and you're moved away. Like you're not in melee range anymore. You slide back 10 feet away. That'll teach me.

That's about all he can really do. Yeah, darn tootin'. Kyborg. Hello. All right, what's the lay of the land right now? How many guys do we have? Just the one who's surrounded. Well, mostly surrounded.

Damn, I just feel kind of bad, but I'm going to still draw back the longbow, try up and shoot him. Boom, that's a 24. That hits. All right, herece some damage. 13. You get him through the throat.

Oh my, oh. And he falls to his knees and in one last act of defiance shakes his fist angrily at all of you and kills four dead. Oh no. I still had one more move left. Dang it.

You're a murderer, Kyborg. All you can think about is your move. Now I'm regretting that I didn't shoot between my legs like I wanted to. Congratulations. You have bested them. You're the best around. We've murdered four men. Is there a way to stop the alarm?

Is the alarm still going off? No, it's stopped at this point. You think that it only summoned these four guards who were on patrol. Did Kyborg successfully get the lock undone? Yeah, he did. Okay. That's what set off the alarm. So Ahem is free. Yeah. Dr. Ahem

says, Oh, thank you, interns. You've helped us all a great deal. And then right about then, Sleek runs up and says, Hey, what did I miss, guys? Cool, cool. Nothing, Sleek. We don't, where do we start?

We saw some guy's pants come off at one point It was wild Mud melted a man with his mind Kind of Just as a reminder, Sleek is still stinky Okay, well that's not good I'm a bear, I have keen smell It's not good

Dr. M says Ahem says, Thank Daya you showed up when you did, interns. I am so happy to see all of you, with a couple of Infinites no less. Hurry though, we must act quickly to free all the townspeople who have been locked in their homes. Is Spectral with us? Yes, Spectral is indeed with you. I did not forget he was there at all. I can't help but notice, Spectral, that you didn't help at all in that entire fight.

Spectral steps up and says, I'll assist Dr. Ahim and we'll free the townspeople. I'm sorry, but I used to not like how much Kyberg was hating on these, you know, like sleep and everything like that. But seriously, you Infinites are just total useless oafs that I have not been able to see what you're able to do thus far. The great infinites that we're supposed to be interns for.

I will say that one is my fault. I don't care. It's canonical that that man just stood there and just did nothing. Okay, I'll tell you what. Spectral appears out of nowhere. He was invisible and he's carrying 15 guards that he took out and he tosses them all at his feet. No, no, no, no, no.

He was T-posing in the middle of the battle the entire time. I've taken care of all the other ones. I found some watchtowers nearby. Sleek and I will help Dr. Ahim free the townspeople, and you guys should go take out the watchtower. I remember a time when we used to do these shows, and Gus would make fun of us

for forgetting that we had the little hover dude. Jack's character. What was his little friend? Orko? No. Wordo. Sordo. There you go. He used to get mad at us that Sordo was there or Brink was there. You gotta save both

of them. Brink and Sordo. Sleek agrees with Spectral and says We'll help Dr. Ahem free the townspeople, and you guys take out the tower that Spectral mentioned. I mean, if it gets us away from Sleek, then, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah, let's do it. All right, let's go. So you just want us to go killing everyone in it?

Just neutralize it however you best see fit. Neutralize. It's in the courtyard north of here. Maybe there's a princess in the watchtower And then once you're done with that Let's meet over at the throne gauntlet tavern Alright Is there a chance that we could work

In this timeline that we go take a little nap And then we go take out this watchtower Yeah just a little tip As a Or Does anybody have any food I have a potion of healing that I can offer up. Do we have food?

All of us have rations, right? I have a ration. I have rations. I have 20 pounds of rations. Good Lord. I'm also very hurt. Ouchie. That's what I was going to say.

Can I season some of our food, our rations, what we're eating? Yeah. Y'all should have rations. Okay. I can give people some of that and you get like a D6 plus four health back. I'll take that're eating. Yeah, you all should have rations. Okay, I can give people some of that, and you get like a D6 plus 4 health back. I'll take that, sure. Yeah, yeah, okay.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. All right. Nothing a little spice can't help. Yeah. Spice is life. This is called Hubert's Handy Spice Pouch, but I think it really should be like Spice Rat Spice Pouch if we want like some cross podcast promotion here, you know?

Yeah, sure. Now, there's some sort of like play on Spice Girls here. Like, every boy and every girl, Spice Happy Life. Like, every time you're doing Yeah, sure. Now, there's some sort of, like, play on Spice Girls here. Like, every boy and every girl, Spice Up is live. Like, every time you're doing it, you're going, ah. People of the world. Spice Up is live. Should I roll one for everybody or everybody should roll their own? We'll say you roll one for everybody.

Okay. Distribute it accordingly. I can get the lower end. Five. Five points each of you. Five points each of you. I'll take it. Oh, God. So we get five each? Yeah, you each get five. Oh, okay. How's Bart?

Is Bart hurt season or fine? I mean, I still have just over half my HP. So, like, I'm okay. It would be nice to get a long rest, but... Yeah, but I feel like we're in the middle of an assault. Yeah. Bart, do you want to take my portion? Would that help?

I should be okay. Everyone roll me a dexterity saving throw. Oh, no. Uh-oh, we need to go. I don't think that we should have to be punished for having to look through our character sheets to learn these things. 12.

15. 5. 22. You all are standing there talking about what it is that you should do, and a bag lands in the middle of all of you. And as it impacts with the ground, sticky tar erupts all around. And mud, it catches you, and you're stuck.

Someone threw a bag of poop at us. We got to get out of here. I know. What's going on? Sleek's diaper. Spectral says, it's the watchtower. They spotted you. They're firing on you.

Hurry. It's a trap. It's a trap. Again. We can you. They're firing on you. Hurry! It's a trap! It's a trap. Again. We can't take any time to think about anything. Can I do something really cool like... I'm just trying to look through my spells. Just stalling?

While you're looking, everyone roll initiative. Okay. I have a move that I want to pull out ASAP. Ten. Five. I don't like being ASAP. Ten. Five. I don't like being sticky. Thirteen. Ew.

Mine is a 20, by the way. Thank you, Bart. Or Barbara. Bart Burra. Bart. All right, Bart, you're first. Roll me a perception check. Let's see what's going on here.

Eighteen. You think that this bag of sticky goo came from the north. You see a watchtower. And on the watchtower. And on the watchtower, you see two people up at the top pointing in your direction. So it seems to be like a bag of something they threw at us? Yeah, or they launched it somehow at you. You see that there's like machinery up at the top of the tower.

Could I make out who those people are? Yeah, you had a pretty good perception roll. You don't recognize them. Okay. Do they look like humanoids or kind of like creatures? They're humanoid of some kind. You can't make out exactly what. Either human or elvish. You're not quite sure.

And what's the distance on them from us? From where you are, they are about 35, 40 feet. Well, that's not too far. Just to the north of you guys. Could I call out to them and be like, hey, what gives? Sure. To what aim? To what aim? What's your goal here? I just

want to figure out why they're shooting this at us. Just Bart going around going hey, hey, hey. This is where, could I roll an intimidation? Sure. That's why I was kind of asking to what end to see what kind of roll to make. Aw, dang it. It's a 12. Bart tries to act tough but it doesn't seem to really land.

One of his biceps looks big. Hey, watch it. Oh, she didn't get it. Do you have any magic that gets you out of sticky stuff? You hear one of them yell back to you, Bart. You intern stink! Oh, no, that's not us. That's leak. That's leak. Yield back to you, Bart. You in turn stink. Oh. No, that's not us.

That's sleek. That's sleek. I don't have any spells that would get us out of this kind of like stickiness. Charm them or suggest them or call them bad names. Could I do a minor illusion that would put like a wall in front of us so they can't see us? Sure. Let me try that. I like that. Just so they can't aim if they keep wanting to shoot at us.

Minor illusion. Big old wall. Going to be in like the shape of a middle finger or something. Yeah, on the other side of the wall facing them, it actually says, you stink. So it's no larger than a five foot cube. Oh. Yeah, it's not huge. You can make a tiny wall and you could hide behind it.

The distance I could do is at 30 feet. So what if I do it like five feet in front of them so it covers everything? Nice. Yeah, if you want to, you could probably even step forward like five or ten feet yourself to try to get it like right up on them. Yeah, let's do that. And just completely obscure their vision. That's really smart, Barb.

Yeah, that's smart. That's good thinking. That's thinking Fortnite. That's thinking with Fortnite. The classic phrase. Let's see. They have to make an intelligence check against your spell save DC, which is 14.

Their intelligence check is plus zero. Yeah. They rolled a two and a three. You hear muttering coming from up there. Where does wall come from? What's going on? They've got wall magic. Wall magic.

Anything else, Bart? That's my turn. Okay. Mud, you are stuck. You're not sure what happened. There's like a sticky tar that's kind of like all around the ground immediately under you, holding you stuck. Okay.

Can I try to wrassle myself free? Yeah. You're a bear. I assume you'll make like a strength check or something. Yeah. Okay, yeah. Go ahead and make a strength check DC 14. That's not going to work. Don't matter what my modifier is. I rolled a three. Yeah, you rolled a three. You use all

your bear might, but you're unable to free yourself. But that was just one of my four legs. I'm going to roll three more for my other three legs. Okay, so then, yeah, I'm stuck. There's nothing I four legs. I'm going to roll three more for my other three legs. Okay, so then, yeah, I'm stuck. There's nothing I can do. I'm just stuck. Okay, my turn. Thanks.

Bye, guys. All right. Well, it's one of their turns, but they're confounded by this wall. Where did it come from? Damn right. What's he going to do? I guess this one will start coming down the tower. Not that you can see that. He does something. You can't see what? He does something. You can't see what? He does something.

You didn't hear what I said. Kyborg, it's your turn. Okay. How solid is this tower? Is it like a wood tower? Yeah, it's made out of wood. It's about 10 feet on each side, 30 feet high. You can see there's like arrow slits on it.

So if I were to like, yeah, I don't know, set off like an explosion of some sort, would it take the tower down, do you think? You could try. If you had a strong enough explosion, sure. I don't know, team. What are we thinking? Are you talking about exploding the arrow? I'm going to explode the arrow at the base of the tower or explode arrow into the tower.

I don't know if that would take down the whole tower. You've shot it inside of buildings before and it didn't. No, that's not true. I think I shot a glass thing. Oh, no, I punched that open because I was strong as heck. But how weak is this watchtower? Yeah, I'll just do a bursting arrow up into the tower, aiming for one of the dudes.

You can't really see. Well, you make an intelligence check. I'm an elf. I can see everything. How intelligent are you? Well, I'm not intelligent enough to know where that is top top here we go first try 18 17 17. oh yeah the illusion has no effect on you you're actually able to see right through it for what it is i'm so smart guys you don't even know all right i'm gonna shoot

my longbow triumph at one of these dudes i'm gonna shoot it one of them dudes that is uh 15. it does hit okay great uh we. We're going to do piercing damage first. That dude takes an 11 damage. Ouch. No good. No good, especially not when I use the arcane shot for a bursting arrow. It's 2d6, and everyone that's within 10 feet of him gets hit too. I'm sure the other guy is far enough down at this point. Four.

Well, it depends on what his movement is because we're going to have to half that because he's going down a ladder. Yeah. No, he's further than 10 feet away. Well, you don't know. But he is further than 10 feet. Did he do that cool thing where you grab the side of the ladder and you just go eee? The Dark Souls thing? Yeah. Just like the simulation.

Nice. Anything else for you, Kyborg? Well, I mean, how's the tower looking after that? Is it still standing? Yeah, it would still be standing. Poop. Alright, well, I'm going to take another shot at the guy at the tower. Oh, no. Oh, yes. That's

16. 16. That does connect. How are they shooting me through this wall? 12 points of damage. He's just got arrows that are just coming through this wall? 12 points of damage. He's just got arrows that are just coming through the wall. It makes no sense. They have phase arrows. It's 12 points of damage.

Yeah, you managed to connect and do another 12 points of damage to him. You can see him. He can't see you. You can see that he's not looking very good. Okay. Was there another guy up there, or was it just the two dudes flinging poop bags at everybody? All you're aware of are the two dudes that were up there. Okay.

Well, I want to finish the job, so I'm going to do an arcane shot, and this is going to be a bursting arrow. And that's a 14 to hit, and I rolled a six for damage. Oh, yeah. You managed to strike a vital artery, and he falls forward through the wall off the top of the tower and lands on the ground, motionless, lifeless.

So the tower just goes... And then he Wilhelm screams out of it. Not quite part of that. He does Wilhelm scream and fall and is no more. I blow at the end of my longbow triumph. I don't know what that does, but I just go like it was really cool. It would be that guard's turn, but he is no more. Gum gum.

So how far away from the tower are we? Yeah, 35, 40 feet, something like that. Okay. Can I run up to run to the tower? What's the door look like? Like the exit. You run up to start inspecting it? Yeah Okay. Can I run up to run to the tower? What's the door look like? Like the exit. You run up to start inspecting it? Yeah.

I want to run up to it. Yeah. You see there's actually no door. It's like there's a door frame, but there's no door in it. It's just open. Rush in. Rush in. I'll set my bear trap at the front of it.

Okay. And I'll ready with my ax right below, right at the exit of the door. Setting a trap. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. You've never seen me, Kevin. All exit of the door. Sat in a trap. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, Do you need to see him? Because I don't think you can see him at this point. It says creature in range can hear. Oh, yeah. I don't think it says anything about you need to see him.

Yeah, you're good. All right. I'm going to cast that. Yes. Yes. So it must make a wisdom saving throw. DC 14. Their wisdom save is plus two. Come under 11 11 fails that's a 13 all right so that's 3d6 of psychic damage coming in hot that's a nine uh nine points of damage and

he needs to run away i believe or try to flee if available to move as far away yeah then as this reaction he tries to run away so he finishes coming down the ladder runs out the door to try to exit but steps right into gum gum's bear trap good lord he has to take a succeeded dc-13 dexterity or take 1d4 damage and be like trapped he's dexterous he makes the he makes the saving throw 17. do i get him with my axe? Sure. You had an action readied. So yeah, you can take your attack right now.

Surprise. 17. That's a hit. And that's a nine. Am I still raging? I don't know if we were still in combat. You had a break between. So a round would have passed without you attacking.

So then nine damage. All right. Okay. Anything else, Bart? Technically that all did happen on your turn. Yeah. I just love using my command. It's just a one word thing. Run.

No, I'm good. You're good. Yeah. Mud, you're still in the sticky. Oh, actually, could I, is it possible to use my mage hand to like clear some of the sticky for mud just so it helps? Is that something that I could do?

Yeah, why not? I'll say you could give like a help action on Mud's turn to like assist him on the roll. Okay. So we'll give Mud advantage if you want to do that. Yeah. Okay. Then I will use that advantage to do another strength check.

Advantage. I'm rolling with advantage. I rolled a two. I will use that advantage to do another strength check. Advantage. I'm rolling with advantage. I rolled a two. I'm rolling with advantage. That's a nat 20. 20. Yeah. Plus six.

So 26. It's a good thing the hand was helping because you needed that second roll on advantage. You managed to tear yourself free from that sticky goo that was all on the ground. Ew. Is that my turn? No, you can still take your actions. So that guy is in the bear trap? No, he made his save, but he is

at the base of the tower by Gum Gum, who made his surprise attack on him. I shall charge. Charge. As a bear does. Whatever the trap. Specifically made for you. Who could have seen this coming? Oh, no.

Mud, no. Dutch is concerned that Blaine is laughing and is consoling him. Go ahead and make an attack roll or whatever you want to do. Okay, yeah, I'll just do an attack. I'm doing a bite. Oh, that's not going to be good. I think that's like an eight. No, not quite. It's a. I'm doing a bite. Oh, that's not going to be good. I think that's like an eight. No, not quite.

It's a 10. Still not good enough. No. I shall do a claw then, which is a 21. Oh, that hits. Oh, bear claw. Bear claw. Num nums.

Bear claw. And that is 12 points of damage. Oh, he falls down. Dead. Clawed to death by the bear. Yes. I'm very excited, and I step away from the bear trap. Very carefully keeping it in your vision.

I'll take it away, too. And I put it back and grab my spear. You did it. You cleared the Tower of Enemies. First try. We didn't even go in it. We've been doing a lot of killing, huh? Yeah, I feel like this entire thing has just been us attacking and being attacked and then attacking.

Kind of all about it, though. All right, so y'all are standing around the now vanquished foes at this tower. And you're feeling pretty good about yourselves, I'd say. Give yourselves a pat on the back. And an inspiration die, right? No, let's not go that far. And we're leveling up. You just got two.

Kyborg takes off his prosthetic arm and pats himself like he's in a back scratcher. I like that. Is it easy for Kyborg to get his arm off and on? No, no. I know that you're going to use this for a future thing where you're just going to have some enemy rip off my arm. There's a very intricate. Have you seen Falcon and Winter Soldier where there's all these button presses and all that stuff?

Yeah. It's like that. And it's only Kyborg knows how to do it. Okay. Could I cast Mage Hand to pat us all on the back? Oh, yeah. You can go around one at a time patting everyone on the back.

Yeah, but instead of the back, it touches Gum-Gum's butt. No, no, no. When it gets to Sleek, it just lifts him off the ground. He's being held by his underwear. Gives him a wedgie. Atomic wedgie.

All right. You all deserve a beverage to unwind and to reward yourselves. So come on in to the stinky. Yeah, is that an option? Is that an option right now? Oh, we should go. We're supposed to meet them at the tavern. Let's go to the tavern.

Yeah. Go into the tavern. And you're going to get married. Oh, wait. Go into the tavern. Let's go to the tavern. Go into the tavern. And you're gonna get married. Go into the tavern and we're gonna get wasted. We're late for drinks.

Okay, team, we have accomplished our goal. Let's head to the tavern and meet our useless friends. You guys are right here. Could we? Oh, damn.

It's just Barb and Chris racing to that joke. Can we think critically? I mean, could we progress the narrative if we ghosted them? We just didn't show up for drinks. I mean, there's always the option at any point for us just to go, nope, and leave. Like, there's a boat out in the water, right, still? It's true. Yeah, the dilemma of the DM.

And that's when Gus brings in the dragon that keeps us inside. Ah, yes, yes, yes. Yeah, can we head towards the tavern? Sure. Sure. So from where you guys are, this tower that you dealt with was north of the courtyard you all first found Dr. M in. And the tavern is at the southern edge of this courtyard, kind of back where you came from. So it's not too far away.

I'm getting dog barking. Is there a dog in the courtyard somewhere? The dogs of Boulderay are restless. They hear slinking around in the night,? The dogs of Boulderay are restless. They hear slinking around in the night and they're on edge. Alright, so you guys make your way down to the tavern. Like I said, it's not too far away. And you open up the

tavern door and find it bustling with Boulderayans and a small fire crackling in the corner. Amongst the crowd you spot a rosy-cheeked dwarf bounding from person to person, handing out steaming drinks. She catches sight of you and calls out to the bar, Hey, Duncan, can we get four more brews for the heroes of the hour?

A petite, red, scaly face pops out from behind the bar. You're back! Well, of course, of course. Anything for my favorite customers. He gives you all a sly little wink. So where are these heroes? Duncan climbs atop the bar, dons his leather apron, then rapidly pours four cups of fresh coffee into Stein's.

One after the other, he slides them down the bar to the wall. Hops chimes in and says, hey, everyone, raise your glasses and let's hear three cheers for the interns. Hip, hip, the crowd joins in. Hooray, hip, hip, hooray, hip, hip, hooray. I expect Gum Gum would have given a fourth hip, hip, hooray. I have a bad feeling about this. Yeah.

I don't know why. I feel like something is about to happen. Because it's like anytime we get a joyous occasion or like a nice moment on this show, I feel like it's just going to be like. And then the blaze explodes and everyone around you goes away. You got to enjoy the good times while you can. Don't be like Eeyore. Don't be like a downer.

That being said, roll for initiative. Yeah. I'm feeling, Mutt's feeling like because of like the reception that we got at the beginning of being in this, you know, back to Boulder Raid that like he wonders if this is like just being facetious. You know, it's like, let's hear it for the heroes of the hour kind of thing. No, no, no. They're making you, they're giving you a cup of coffee.

They're cheering for you. I mean, that's fine. Okay. What's her name? Hop. Can Mud go over to Hop? Sure. It's Hops with an S, right?

Oh, Hops. Yes. Yeah, very good, Barbara. Hello. What happens here? And are you actually, in fact, happy to see us? You're making your way over to Hops, but it becomes actually really difficult to make your way over just because there's like a crush of boulderians you know there's just people coming by to shake your hands pat you all on the

back everyone's offering their thanks so you can't actually make it over to hops just because of like there's just so many people you know however in the corner by the fire, you do see Dr. Spectral and Sleek sitting in a booth talking to each other. Dr. Ahem looks up with a twinkling smile. He actually starts waving to you for you to go over in that direction. Just the man we were looking for. Can I do some sort of Elven danger sense?

Because this all does feel a little weird. Is there something I can detect? I don't know. Do you have that, or are you just making up crap? I'm looking through all my powers. He's making up crap. Okay, cool, cool. Yeah, yeah, I am.

You can make, like, a perception check. Sure, I'll do a perception check. Oh, and I have plus three. That's not bad. Here we go. Seven. The drink. It's gotten to me.

We haven't celebrated and relaxed in a while. Yeah, you think everyone's being really genuine. Can I do magic awareness and see if there's any presence of concentrated magic around us? Ooh, like spells. Sure. That's gum gum. Everyone looks at him as he says. Okay, let's see.

I'm looking up your magic awareness. It's an action. You open up your awareness, present concentrated magic until the end of your next turn. Your location of any spell or magic item within 60 feet of you. Is it behind total cover? What do you sense of spell? You learn what's cool and magically belongs to. Gus looking up this precise wording of this means that there is something afoot.

He's looking for clarification to see what he can get by on. I just have to make sure I adequately convey it. No, no, no. We're playing 40 chess here, Gus. It's a feint within a feint within a feint. Read Dune. As far as magic, GumGum,

you sense the things you would normally expect, like arcane weapons and spell scrolls y'all are carrying with you, people around you, their spellcasters. Maybe this really is just what it seems to be. A nice time at a nice tavern. This is like press X for doubt moment.

Fine, fine. Let's just play along with this, but with, you know, the knowing trepidation of just being like, I don't trust any of this and I'll at least speak for Mud. Mud tries to make his way

over to the Doctor Ahem. Like I said, he was smiling at you and he says, First of all, words can't express the sheer gratitude I hold in my heart

for the four of you. Please know that I never stop searching for you. What a relief it is to have you all back safe and sound. Not to mention you brought back Sleek and Spectral here. I couldn't be prouder. Sleek chimes in and says, Doctor, I'm sorry, but the clock is ticking.

Doctor Ahem looks down and his smile fades. Right, right. Sleek tells me here that you're planning to rescue Brink and Soto. Well, I'm afraid you'll need to add another name to that list. Perlite has kidnapped Mayor Prattle. No! Not Mayor P! Was that too much?

No, it was good. Not enough, actually. Okay. No! It's okay, Bart. All right, that's the end of this episode. More missing persons are added to the party's rescue list. What is Paralyte up to? can the interns solve this mystery

before it's too late? well you're going to have to come back next week to find out in the next episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon thanks for listening we'll see you next time Thank you.