Tales from the Stinky Dragon - Paralyte's Poison - Ep. 41: Down Dreamery Lane

Episode Date: March 16, 2022

The interns have chased off the Everguards, rescued the townspeople, and finally have two more Infinights returned. But with Dr. Ahem's Dreamery equipment lacking, can they dive into the memories of S...lique and Spectril and find out what happened on that fateful night so long ago?  Follow us on Social Media! https://linktr.ee/TalesFromTheStinkyDragon Go to http://coinbase.com/STINKY for $10 in free Bitcoin! Get your RTX badge at http://bit.ly/rtxaustin22 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:00:53 of white feather whiskey, angelic absinthe, bubonic bitters and topped with a sprig of spearmint. One drop of this divine draft is enough to take the edge off anyone's sword. Previously, our adventurers found themselves battling a battalion of Evergards in Boulderay. Naturally, they feathered some foes, disintegrated a dude, and forced an enemy to fall asleep. Next, they attacked the watchtower by building a fake five-foot wall, barraging it with Bursting Arrow, and setting a bear trap for mud.
Starting point is 00:01:23 But during the victory drinks, Dr. Ahem revealed that Mayor Prattle is missing. Fold your wings, Grab-a-Grog, let's move on from this tongue-twisting prologue. Dr. Ahem, I'm sorry, but the clock is ticking. Dr. Ahem looks down and his smile fades. Right, right. Sleek tells me here that you're planning to rescue Brink and Sorto. Well, I'm afraid you'll need to add another name to that list. Perilite has kidnapped Mayor Prattle.
Starting point is 00:02:03 No! Not Mayor P! I know, I know. It's quite distressing. Is there a chance that you know where they're keeping all of them, so that we can head that direction? Well, it's interesting. While you were all on mission in Erbloom, I was busy delving into Aleve's subconscious using my dreamery experiment. Trying to gather fragments of intel regarding Paralite's plan, but all I discovered was that she was once again ten steps ahead of me. Brink, as it turns out, was hired to double-cross you. But before I could warn you, I was knocked out.
Starting point is 00:02:48 I suspect it was a leave because when I came to, she was gone, along with all my best lab equipment. What ended up happening to you anyway? Uh, would this this what have happened uh, before
Starting point is 00:03:03 uh, the Germantown. What was the Germantown. What was the Germantown? No, not Erblum. Erblum. Yeah, I got it right. Yes. Yeah. It's a long story, but in the end, we think Brink might actually be not,
Starting point is 00:03:16 like it might have been like a double cross kind of thing where he's like he was double crossing, but then he did another one. Yeah. There were two Brinks, so maybe one of them was crossing. The other one was double crossing, but then he did another one. There were two Brinks, so maybe one of them was crossing, the other one was double crossing. Yeah, it's like dividing by zero. Triple agent. And that's where we found Sleek, is we found him there.
Starting point is 00:03:38 One of the Brinks died. This is so confusing. One of the Brinks died, but the other one is the one that's back here in prison. We don't know where Aleve is. We've been off fighting a bunch of Valrossians slash bringing peace to them forever. And being pirates.
Starting point is 00:03:59 And being pirates, yeah. I think that about wraps it up. That's about the whole... Everything that's happened since we've been away. That's the last 40 episodes of Stinky Dragon. Yeah, that's pretty good. I think that about wraps it up. That's about the whole, everything that's happened since we've been away. That's the last 40 episodes of Stinky Dragon. Yeah, that's pretty good, I think. So, I mean, I'm sure Dr. M is
Starting point is 00:04:13 just nodding in complete understanding of what I just said. Yeah, he's nodding. Fascinating. As for me, I immediately threw myself into rebuilding and salvaging what equipment I had left, particularly the dreamer experiment. I hoped it would offer clues as to something I missed. Maybe your whereabouts. But days turned to weeks and every time I would get close to fixing the dreamery, it would somehow break down over and over.
Starting point is 00:04:45 Which reminds me, how did you end up back here? Take it away someone else. We rode a mighty ship here with my old Captain Marge and it was a beautiful experience and no one did anything wrong
Starting point is 00:05:02 at any point in time. Do you know why Paralite took the mayor? Well, I was hoping the dreamer experiment could help with that. Speaking of one week ago, just when I was finishing up repairs on the dreamery, I heard news of something brewing in Kaltberg. So I went to the emus gateway to open a portal, but it was... dormant. Like it was somehow void of its former power. But before I could work on a diagnosis, Perilite showed up along with a garrison of Evergards. They immediately got to work taking over the
Starting point is 00:05:40 town. Some of us fought back of course, but we were no match. That's when I was thrown into the stocks. The whole town was put under a curfew, and Paralite captured Mayor Prattle and left town with her Evergards in charge. Sleek chimes in and says, But now we have the upper hand, Doctor. Spectral and I are once
Starting point is 00:06:00 again of sound mind, and we can all take the fight to Paralite. Free our friends. Right, Leonard? Leonard? Leonard? You all glance over at Spectral and see him wincing with his head in his hands. Hmm? Oh, sorry, old chap. I was just trying to think back to what happened the night we were all kidnapped, but it's all... Well, it's all now feeling hazy. Can you remember anything, Austin?
Starting point is 00:06:28 Of course, we were all in our rooms at Infinite HQ and suddenly, boom! And, um... He scratches his beard. Um, now that you mention it, yeah, my noggin is feeling a bit on the fuzzy side at the moment, too. Worthless. We saw their memories. You saw Dr. Ahem's memory.
Starting point is 00:06:48 No, we did the roots thing. Yeah, where I was supposed to kill someone. Oh, right, right. I didn't like that. That wasn't the night of. Yeah, it was. I guess you did get a little bit of. You did, yeah, yeah, you did get a little bit of the night of.
Starting point is 00:07:00 I'm taking away an inspiration dice. You don't remember things correctly, guys. So did Dr. Ahem use the dreamery on these two at any point? No. Aleve. Just Aleve? Yeah. Okay. Because he, Bechtel and Sleek, just came back with you. This is them getting back for the first time. Yeah. No, I know. I'm just, I was
Starting point is 00:07:15 just trying to think, like, what could have happened to them where, like, all of a sudden now their memory is bad. What are they drinking right now? What are they eating? Everyone's got fresh cups of coffee from Duncan. Everyone. Let me rephrase that
Starting point is 00:07:28 because that sounds like they got it from the store. Everyone has fresh cups of coffee that Duncan brewed up for everyone when you all arrived. Can I do detect magic? Sure. I cast detect magic.
Starting point is 00:07:41 For the duration you sense the presence of magic within 30 feet of you. We sense magic in this way. You can use your action to see a faint or around any visible creature or object in the area that bears magic you learn its school of magic if any it can penetrate most barriers but it's blocked by a foot of stone an inch of metal a thin sheet of lead or three feet of wood and dirt all right so you uh you concentrate and focus and cast detect magic and you detect again magic on all of the
Starting point is 00:08:05 equipment that you you know your party's carrying the things that you would expect and uh yeah you see uh get a little bit of faint magic from the heads of sleek and spectrum what kind of uh magic is it uh you focus on it and try to determine
Starting point is 00:08:22 the school of magic and you think it's enchantment can we tell where it's enchantment. Can we tell where it's at? Oh, I don't know. I mean, I can see an aura around them. Is there an aura around anything else? Yeah, is there a way to, like, see where it might be originating from? No, that's about all that you would get.
Starting point is 00:08:38 That's about all you would detect. Do you think some sort of, like, concussive trauma or impact might take this magic away? Say, if I were to beat Sleek over the head, is there anything we can do? Can I try something? Yeah. Bart goes up to Dr. Ahem and wants to express just how much he missed him, and he wants to kiss him right on the mouth to see if this might distract him.
Starting point is 00:09:05 Okay. So I don't know if like, is this a concentration spell? Oh, I see what you're trying. You're trying to break his concentration. And the first way you think of breaking his concentration is a big old smackaroo on the lips. Hey, Bart's a loving fella, right? Make a performance check.
Starting point is 00:09:24 Roll for kisses. You got it. It's a 16.. Roll for kisses. You got it. It's a 16. It's a 16. All right. You give Dr. Ham a kiss, and he's not expecting it. He's shocked when you start kissing him, and you pull away, and he begins quickly fiddling with his eye loop and looking at you
Starting point is 00:09:39 and looks back at Spectral and Sleep, and he says, Thank you, boss. I appreciate it. I turn to Spectral and Sleek and go, All right, do you remember what happened now? Uh, they're still kind of scratching their head, trying to remember. I think you kissed the doctor.
Starting point is 00:09:58 Doctor Ahem chimes in and says, Intriguing. It appears my efforts in repairing the dreamery experiments were not in vain we should head to my lab at once wait why why Bart or all of us no no gum gum I meant all of us perhaps we can unlock the memories that Austin and Leonard here are having trouble recalling. Just part. Do you guys need a moment? Listen, I just miss my friend, okay? The doctor makes me feel safe. Mud doesn't trust anything that's happening right now.
Starting point is 00:10:37 I got spider sense, you know. Are you a spider right now? I don't know. I actually don't know. I have temp HP points, so i know i'm i'm something i don't know what i am right now though you're a bear i'm a bear i am a bear okay you're a bear mud if i had to take a guess at what's going on sleek and spectral are still under some sort of like lingering curse from paralite to block their memories right is that kind of like what we're gauging here i don't think dr him is the one that's doing it. I think
Starting point is 00:11:06 it's Paralite that's the one that still has them on their mind. It's a good hypothesis, I think, you know, just to see if it was Ahem. Oh, no, for sure. I'm glad Bart kissed Dr. Ahem right on the lips. Yeah, so am I. Yeah. Okay. Let's go. I guess, yeah, we can go with Dr. Ahem.
Starting point is 00:11:21 Yes. Alright, so you all follow Dr. Ahem out into the night and make your way uphill. You reach a long set of stone stairs that lead up to the highest point in Boulderay, Infinite Headquarters. Dr. Ahem's grumbling to himself. It's not a curse. He says, why is it always stairs in this town? Haven't these people ever heard of ramps?
Starting point is 00:11:40 He leans back his wheelie chair and tries to hoist himself and roll up each stair. Can I help? Yeah. Is it okay if I lift you up? Hold on. So wait, you're saying that the headquarters that he has been at this entire time doesn't have ramps? No. Wow.
Starting point is 00:11:54 You'd think he'd be able to. Remember, this is a recent development for him after a Paralite attack. Oh, okay. We were thinking this is like a Dr. X situation where he was just in a wheelchair his whole life. Professor X, but yeah. Professor X. I was wondering if John was going to chime in on that. Of course.
Starting point is 00:12:11 Yeah, so can I pick him up? Dr. Aham says, oh, well, thank you, Gum Gum. You don't need to pick me up, but you can just help me roll up the stairs in my wheelchair, if you don't mind. Okay, and I do that. Okay, go ahead and make a strength check, Gum-Gum. What happens if this goes bad? I don't know. I hope it goes good. Uh-oh. It was an eight?
Starting point is 00:12:33 That was really bad. You're trying to roll him up the wrong way, like face first instead of backing up into it. Dr. Ahem quickly corrects you, though, and shows you the easier way to help him ascend the stairs. This is why he's a scientist. All right. You all get to the top of the stairs at Infinite headquarters
Starting point is 00:12:51 and the glowing front doors open automatically as you near the main entrance to the stone building. Inside, you spot Atten and Dant sweeping the lobby. Welcome back, interns and Infinites. Hello. I totally remember you. We fought them once. They're the robots, right?
Starting point is 00:13:06 Yeah. I know, I'm saying like I didn't. What gave it away? It was the amazing vocal performances of Gus. Greetings, Dr. Ahem. Heading downstairs. Beep boop bop beep boop. Yes, thank you boys.
Starting point is 00:13:22 And then Dan, lift Dr. Ahem in his wheelie chair and start leading you all down the stairs towards his lab. It seems only yesterday when you were all here at the HQ learning about the Infinites, saving Mayor Prater and myself, training with Brink Tussler. Ah, such memories. Some memories that we should block.
Starting point is 00:13:41 I don't trust this cheeriness. This man was in the stocks, and his city is taken over by an evil witch. Yeah, but you all freed him. You all are the heroes. You've saved them all. Also, every time we've come to this castle, something has gone down. Like, we shouldn't like Infinite HQ, because every time we've come here, there's Paralite shows up. There's a bunch of robots, I kill a hamster,
Starting point is 00:14:08 all sorts of bad things happen. While Kyborg is reminiscing about all of his bad memories, the party finally reaches Dr. M's lab, and the door creaks open to a rather quiet and sparse stone room. In the center are six gurneys laid out in a circle. Laying atop each bed is a helmet connected by vines to a mechanical apparatus overhead in the middle of the room. As I said before, it seems most of my lab equipment has gone missing thanks to Aleve. I am afraid this is all that's left.
Starting point is 00:14:37 And he points overhead. Are we going to become avatars? Hmm. In a way, I suppose, Bart. Anyway, everyone please lie down on a gurney and when you're ready we will begin the experiment hold on oh this is bad okay i have a new spell i cast dispel magic on sleek choose one creature object or magical effect within range. Any spell of third level or lower on the target ends for each spell of fourth level or higher on the target. Make an ability
Starting point is 00:15:10 check using your spellcasting ability. The DC equals 10 plus the spell's level. Okay, I guess go ahead. I mean, let's get that out of the way. Before we all get our brains eaten into. Roll a d20 for that check, just so we have it written down.
Starting point is 00:15:26 Four. Dang it. Plus my spellcasting ability. What is the primary spellcasting ability for a druid? It's wisdom, I think. Wisdom. So it's plus five. So it's nine.
Starting point is 00:15:38 So that's still not high enough. Well, the spell DC is, so like a fifth level spell would be 15 because it's 10 plus the spells level. Yeah, I'm saying that at nine with the thing being 10 plus whatever means that no way I dispelled it. Correct. If it's fourth or higher, you got first, second and third on cantrips. Oh, well, did anything happen? And who did you direct that at? Was it Sleek?
Starting point is 00:16:02 Yes. Okay. You cast Dispel Magic at Sleek. Nothing that you can notice happens. Could I try something? Sure. Yeah. Could I try Counter Charm on Sleek?
Starting point is 00:16:13 I just realized I have that. Is Charm an enchantment? I believe so, yeah. Yeah. As an action, you could perform until the end of your next turn. During that time, you and any friendly creatures within 30 feet that could hear you gain advantage on saving throws against being frightened or charmed. I don't know. I guess I don't know if that's like,
Starting point is 00:16:27 if they're already in the process of being charmed. Yeah, this is more like to stop a charm if it was like going to be cast or to give you advantage against those kinds of checks if it was being cast. Gotcha. Okay, got that. I mean, while we're all exploring our things,
Starting point is 00:16:43 I could try something. It's sleek, right? So I mean, I could shoot an arrow at him. I don't know. Somehow I don't think that... I don't know if that'll do the trick. We're going to put these helmets on and get our brains scrambled.
Starting point is 00:16:56 I'm calling it. Doctor chimes in and says, Oh, it's perfectly safe. I'm not trying to harm anybody. This will just help us find out what truly happened. Okay. And I go and lay down. Hey, hey, I nudge Bart.
Starting point is 00:17:11 It's like, use your ring of truth. Use your ring of truth. I was getting to it. Yeah, before we opt to become Jake Sully, let us, I want to use my ring of truth on Dr. Ahem. Ring of truth telling. Ring of truth telling. And ask him, what is he really going to do to us?
Starting point is 00:17:34 I guess it's like, I have to ask him a question, right? Yeah. Well, I mean, it just gives you advantage on an insight check. Just insight. So you could just go off the insight of what he just said. Okay. Yeah. You could roll an insight check on that with check. Just insight. So you could just go off the insight of what he just said. Okay. Yeah. You could roll an insight check on that with advantage.
Starting point is 00:17:49 With advantage, yeah. Big, big, big rolls. Big rolls. Big rolls. You got a 22. B is for big rolls part. And a 24. Oh.
Starting point is 00:17:57 So 24. Yeah, you do not sense that there's any deception in what he's telling you. Okay. Maybe this is just the next, like, chapter. You know, we already went to the... What was the place? It was, like, the ghost zone, the phantom zone. With the...
Starting point is 00:18:12 Yeah, I know. I don't know. I know what you're talking about. Don't know what it was called. Oh, yeah. Like, when it was, like, in the purple haze and stuff? The peripheral... Yeah.
Starting point is 00:18:20 Yeah, yeah. I think that this is just our next little... This is just the next two episodes of us being in, like, you know, Avatar bodies, having our tails connected to other blue tail people. It's whatever. Let's just do it. I put the helmet on. The ethereal plane.
Starting point is 00:18:33 The ethereal plane. All right, whatever, nerd. Let's just put this helmet on. Yeah, I guess I turn back into Fearbog and lay down. Does this also constitute a long rest? Oh, please, God. We'll see how long it takes. Okay.
Starting point is 00:18:54 Dr. Ahem speaks up and says, All right, fasten your helmets and let's begin. Atten and Dant, calibrate the roots to four reminiscers and two hosts. Yes, Dr. Ahem. That will use up the remainder of our route supply. So be it. All right, interns, we need to make this count. The four of you are going to be entering an amalgamation of dreameries from Sleek and Spectral here. Once inside, you should embody four hosts, likely
Starting point is 00:19:25 the Infinites themselves. Find out everything you can about the Infinites, what happened to them, and any clues as to Paralite's whereabouts or plans. Any questions? Which episode of the Magic School Bus did you rip this plot point from?
Starting point is 00:19:43 They didn't ever do that. They just like shrunk down and went inside a place. With the frizz? No way. Dr. Ahem reaches for a lever with both hands and pulls it down forcefully. Ka-ching! The apparatus above roars to life with a deep pulsing hum.
Starting point is 00:20:00 Scarlet sparks streak across the ceiling. Don't worry, this is all perfectly... Kaboom! A violent shock of electricity surges through your brains and your surroundings spiral into a scarlet haze. Everyone go ahead and roll me a perception check. I got a 22.
Starting point is 00:20:17 Only 14. Three. Why am I not finding perception? It's like I've never played this game. It's like you're having a hard time perceiving where perception is. 20. Okay. We'll start with Gum Gum, who got a three.
Starting point is 00:20:32 The scarlet mist darkens to a deep void of blackness mixed with a slight hangover. Have you gone blind, Gum Gum? Oh, no. Mud, your eyes adjust to the darkness. You realize you're lying on the cold, craggy floor of a dank cave, or at least the entrance of one. Okay. Bart and Kyborg, both of you hear screeching and tinkering of metal
Starting point is 00:20:54 reverberating down the tunnel. You notice something far away glowing purple in the rock walls, and in the distance, you catch the faintest echoes of shouting. Oh, I thought it was going to be Indy! In the distance, you catch the faintest echoes of shouting. Family first. Oh, I thought it was going to be Indy. Family and first? Yeah, that's all you're able to make out is those words. And it's like a purple.
Starting point is 00:21:19 Yeah, there's like a glowing purple. Oh, it's like Sangria night. Sangria. Sangria night. Yeah, there you go. Inspiration die for mud for remembering. Woo. I remembered something.
Starting point is 00:21:30 Are we all together? You look around mud and you don't recognize the people you see around you. Well, you don't recognize all of them. You see there's a male rock gnome who you've never seen in your life before. And you see spectral and sleek with you as well. I look down at my hands. You don't recognize your hands. They're not furballed hands. How dare you? We're the Infinites. Well,
Starting point is 00:21:52 are we? Yeah. So then that means that, John, you're who's the lady? Mother, what's your face? If I see Sleek and Spectral, then yeah. Am I a leave? Yeah. Well, tell me. You can see me. I can see you. You're... Bart, you look around
Starting point is 00:22:08 and you see various people. The person who's saying, you can see me would be Mud. You don't recognize this person. It's a female Earth Genasi. You're making up stuff. Cool. What is that? Is that like some type of
Starting point is 00:22:23 humanoid creature? It's, yeah, kind of human. It's like an earthen genie is a way to think about it. Like an earth elemental of some kind. She's wearing filthy rags for clothes. She's got a dusty bandana. She's got a bird's nest in her pocket. Wasn't like a leave a shapeshifter though?
Starting point is 00:22:41 Like it's good still. I'm just assuming we are the infinites. Yeah. Kyborg, you look down and you see you're wearing a belt with an S-shaped buckle. No. You're asleep. You're asleep. No! I start slapping myself.
Starting point is 00:22:58 I start slapping myself. Could I look down and realize that I'm a lot taller than I usually am? You're the gnome. 100% you're the gnome. Bart, you look down and you're I'm a lot taller than I usually am? You're the gnome. 100% you're the gnome. Bart, you look down and you're still very stout. Dang it. But you admire your own flamboyant clothing. Why is Kyborg doing unarmed strikes?
Starting point is 00:23:14 Stop doing unarmed strikes. Are you hitting yourself, Kyborg? I've rolled about four unarmed strikes. What does Kwee see? Gum gum? Gum gum. I guess. Do you speak up at this point? Am I blind? I've rolled about four on arm strength. What does Queasy Gum-Gum? Gum-Gum, I guess, do you speak up at this point? Am I blind? The person who asks if they're blind is a male rock gnome.
Starting point is 00:23:33 Oh, okay. He's got long blue hair, silver eyes, gray skin. He's got a locket around his neck. Okay, so Gum-Gum's the rock gnome that we don't know. I'm the genie lady that we don't know. I'm the genie lady that we don't know. Kyborg is sleek, and so that means that Bart is spectral. Actually, there's a little misdirection there. Bart in his flamboyant clothing is sleek.
Starting point is 00:23:57 Kyborg's belt has an S-shaped buckle for spectral. Oh, thank God. Oh, thank God. Then I start unarming Striking Sleek, who is actually Bart. No, stop it. No, Kyborg, it's me. It's me. We're going to need the HP.
Starting point is 00:24:11 Stop it. From the mouth of the cave, a duergar, which is like a gray dwarf, stomps over with enormous front teeth, huffing and puffing. What in the blazes are you all doing on the floor? Get up. The caves won't mind themselves, you scrawny troll kissers. Leonard, Bo, Austin, Fred, let's go. Get on the cart and get mining. We don't pay you to sit around staring at your
Starting point is 00:24:32 belly buttons. And sure enough, a vacant mine cart is sitting atop a railway that seems to head further into the caves. Are we like, uh... Mud wants to look at Spectrum and Sleek. Do they look younger than we remember them? I mean, a little bit. I will say Sleek is a dwarf, so they live a long time, and it's hard to tell.
Starting point is 00:24:49 Spectral's a half-orc, so you tell a little more easily on him. But yeah, they do seem a bit younger than what you're used to. So it's Leonard is Spectral. Spectral. Who's me? Sleek is Austin. Austin is Sleek. Fred and Bo. I'm probably Bo. And then... And Gum-. Who's me? Sleek is Austin. Austin is Sleek. He's Bart. Fred and Bo.
Starting point is 00:25:06 I'm probably Bo. And then... And Gum-Gum's Fred? Gum-Gum's Fred. No, Fred is my fox. He's back at home. But what about all the names? I'm just like, oh, God.
Starting point is 00:25:17 With the other two Infinites? Yeah. Well, let's ask our experts who learned all about the infinites at the church or the library. I don't know. I don't know if I'm gum gum. So, yeah, I don't know if I know that. My memories are clouded. I just want to go sleep with the polar bear.
Starting point is 00:25:37 I'm spectral. Do you want to roll like a history? Yeah, I was going to say an intelligence check or a history check. Sure. That's a seven. Jeez. Why are you guys rolling the things that you have a negative modifier on? Because they're intelligence checks.
Starting point is 00:25:52 They're all negative on intelligence checks. Gum-Gum got a four. Kyborg got a seven. Yeah, you remember something about the Infinites and some birds that were copying you, but you really can't remember much more. Can't do, yes. All right. Let's get the minecart and do what this man said. Okay, the minecart fits four people.
Starting point is 00:26:11 You can see two in the front and two in the back. Who's going to sit in the front? Who's going to sit in the back? I'll sit in the front. Okay, I'll sit behind Bart. I guess I'll sit in the back. Gum, Gum, come sit next to me. Okay.
Starting point is 00:26:23 No, I'm sitting next to Bart. You said behind you. You said behind. Yeah, you said two in the front, two in the back, right? Yeah, that would sit next to me. Okay. No, I'm sitting next to Bart. You said behind you. No, you said behind. Yeah, you said two in the front, two in the back, right? Yeah, that would be next to. Yeah, and I said I'm in the front, so if you're behind me. Oh, you meant so it's a four quadrant. Okay.
Starting point is 00:26:34 Is this a cool running situation where we're all in a line, or is it two front, two back, like two-seaters? Yeah, I was thinking more of like that kind of just. Okay. No, no, two front, two back. Okay, then fine. I'll sit next to Kyborg in the back. Okay.
Starting point is 00:26:49 So we got Bart and Gum-Gum in the front and Mud and Kyborg in the back. Yeah. So y'all get in the cart and push off. Who's going to push the cart to get it started? Oh, I'll get out and push. Okay. Mud, make me a strength check. Yep.
Starting point is 00:27:03 That's 18. 18. Yeah, you get down low, squat, make me a strength check. Yep, that's 18. 18. You get down low, squat, use your legs, put your shoulder into the cart, start pushing, and sure enough, without too much trouble, it starts rolling. And as it gains momentum, you go ahead and hop into the back seat next to Kyborg. The cart
Starting point is 00:27:17 gains momentum and starts rolling downhill. The dank air whistles past your ears as the cart bends and curves down the tracks. Eventually, the tunnel opens up into a large cavern with several mine shafts branching off. Bart and Gum-Gum make me perception checks. They're steering. Ooh, 13. Three, ten, yikes.
Starting point is 00:27:36 Spectral has his hands in the air like he's on a roller coaster. Mud tickles him. Bart and Gum-Gum, you look ahead down the railway and you spot a junction where the track splits off in two directions. What's on each side? Do we see anything beyond that or just the split? If only your perception check was better, huh? Hold on. Sorry. I think whoever I am right now doesn't have their contacts in. And then he finds contacts in their pockets and puts them in. Mmm.
Starting point is 00:28:07 All right. That's something I'll have to remember. Yeah. Not to make another Indiana Jones reference, but is there a good smell coming from any of them? A good smell? How is that an Indiana Jones reference? In The Last Crusade, he points... No, it's not Indiana Jones.
Starting point is 00:28:24 That's Lord of the Rings, isn't it? Yeah, it's's not Indiana Jones, that's Lord of the Rings. Isn't it? Yeah, it's Lord of the Rings. It's Lord of the Rings. I was thinking of another old white guy. So it's just, yeah, Lord of the Rings, follow your nose. I totally forgot about that. The minecart comes down, it's quickly, very quickly is approaching this junction where the
Starting point is 00:28:39 track splits off into two directions. Bart, at the last second you realize that there is a metal lever, like a rail switch. Pull the lever! Pull the lever! And now that my contacts are in, I roll perception again.
Starting point is 00:28:54 Ah. Do you want to leave it where it is, or do you want to try to take a swipe at it to hit it? Let's swipe at it to hit it. Okay. At the last second, Bart notices this rail switch going by. He swings out, hits it, and you see up ahead the track changes direction.
Starting point is 00:29:10 Initially, the cart was heading to the right side. The rail realigns itself, and the junction moves it so that the cart goes uphill towards the left side. Always go left. That's right. Since it starts going uphill, the cart slowly decelerates as it's going up the hill, and eventually it clicks into some grooves on the track. It's locked into place. Oh, it doesn't do like the thing?
Starting point is 00:29:33 You know when a roller coaster goes... When you're, yeah, you're going up, yeah. Yeah. It's parked, sorry. I think that it's like getting caught. So you all arrive at an overlook along with some wooden foot bridges. Far below, you see large deposits of glowing purple rocks. Everyone, just for fun, make me a constitution saving throw.
Starting point is 00:29:52 Just for fun. That doesn't sound very fun. 17. 16. 19. Five. Bart vomits on Gum-Gum. A beam comes out of nowhere.
Starting point is 00:30:04 Yeah, takes off her head. You guys roll real good. Bart, you feel a littleGum. A beam comes out of nowhere. Yeah, it takes off her head. You guys roll real good. Bart, you feel a little woozy, a little lightheaded. Maybe it's like the stagnant air in the cave or something, but you feel a little out of yourself. You don't feel, like, bad about it. You just feel, like, very relaxed and happy about it. Gas leak.
Starting point is 00:30:21 Sorry, guys, had beans for lunch. Echoing on the cave walls, you hear voices getting louder and louder. It's your legacy. My destiny is your glory. Don't walk away from me. No. I'm not. Whoosh.
Starting point is 00:30:40 Bang. The cave shakes and vibrates beneath your feet. A cluster of stalactites break off all across the cave ceiling and start falling all around the cavern. Everyone make a dexterity saving throw to avoid the stalactites. Oh boy. Did someone set off like some magic or something? Oh my god, 25.
Starting point is 00:30:56 I rolled a 1. 21. 21. I'm in danger. All right, so we've got a 25 from Kyborg, a 3 from Mud, a 21 from Gum Gum, and a 21 from Bart. How much damage am I taking? Everyone manages to dive out of the way except for Mud, who gets hit by some of the falling debris and is restrained by the large pieces of stone.
Starting point is 00:31:22 Mud, you take 14 points of piercing damage. Ow! Oh, my God. And a bat poops on your head. The rocks hit you, pinning you, and you feel immense pain on your back, like something is wrong with your spine, like your back is just like, it's not happy at all.
Starting point is 00:31:37 Uh-oh. What do I do about it? You're restrained. Maybe someone else might be able to help you out, but still a handful of stalactites fall straight onto the cart. Cling, clang, smash, and the cart buckles under the jagged crags. The cave continues to rumble louder and louder with chunks of debris smashing into the ground all around. There's suddenly a clamorous crunch,
Starting point is 00:31:58 and a boulder-sized rock breaks off from the ceiling and hurls down toward you all. Everyone except for Mud, go ahead and make a dexterity saving throw. 20. 19. 16. 20, 19, 16. This is so huge.
Starting point is 00:32:14 You're not sure if you're going to be able to dodge out of the way, even with the dexterity you displayed right now. Do you all have any final words you want to exchange before the boulder hits, killing you all? There's nothing to be done about it? I'm going to get all wrong. Yeah, stop. Don't worry.
Starting point is 00:32:29 I'll catch it. Can Mud, like, reach out with some sort of magic? Sure. What magic do you want to use? I am a genasi. So I totally know that I should reach out with, uh, I don't know. Do I have fire magic? Do I have wind?
Starting point is 00:32:53 Do I have wind? In slow motion, Mud's going through the abilities he doesn't have, still writhing around in agony under a giant piece of rock that's broken his back. The massive boulder plummets into the ground with a meteoric boom and your surroundings spiral into a scarlet haze. As always, I want to remind everyone
Starting point is 00:33:18 to give us a follow at StinkyDragonPod. If you engage with us, use hashtag StinkyDragonPod. That way we make sure that we see it. Really helps out a podcast to get that word of mouth going. And if you interact with us, you might have a character named after you. For example, the Shirei Envoy is named Bri,
Starting point is 00:33:36 named after at Bri Calhoun, or maybe it's at Bray Calhoun. I'm not sure. I apologize. But regardless, I went with Bri when we were taping for the actual NPC. And some of our other characters are voiced by other people who are friends of ours or who work here with us. Sleek, of course, is voiced by Ben Ernst, who's one of the producers on this show.
Starting point is 00:33:55 Spectral is voiced by Christian Young. Dr. M is our very own Micah Reisinger, who's the writer, editor, and composer for the show. The secret DM behind the DM, always whispering in my ear when we're taping. Mayor Prattle is voiced by Nick Schwartz. You may know him as the sauce monkey on FaceJam. Aleve slash Marcy is voiced by Jessica Vasami. And Luce
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Starting point is 00:35:30 You like podcasts, obviously. Listen into this one. Did you know there's a podcast festival at RTX Austin this year? Podcasts of all kinds will be going to Austin, Texas, July 1st to 3rd to do live recordings of their shows, and you could be there. Add some fun to your summer plans. Come see your favorite podcasts in person.
Starting point is 00:35:43 Discover new favorites at RTX Austin. RTX Austin takes the best in podcasting, gaming, animation. Brace it all together in Austin, Texas for one unforgettable weekend. Of course, as always, health and safety will be number one priority. Masks will be required during the event. We will follow city guidelines. If you're unable to attend due to COVID, we'll work with you to postpone your badge for the following year. Or you can request a refund.
Starting point is 00:36:05 So head over to bit.ly slash rtxaustin22 to grab your badge for RTX Austin. Get ready for a weekend filled with the best of podcasting, gaming, and animation. That's bit.ly slash rtxaustin and the number two and the number two. Get it? Like 2022? Get your badge today. See you in Austin, July 1st to 3rd. Get to know yourself and your roots better in 2024 with Ancestry DNA. Want to know where your family comes from in Northern France? Maybe you'd like to see how your genes influence certain
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Starting point is 00:37:18 See Kraken.com slash legal slash ca dash pru dash disclaimer for info on Kraken's undertaking to register in Canada. Y'all wake up lying on cots. That is everyone except for the male rock gnome that you saw. Gum-Gum, you don't have a body. You're floating like a ghost over your friends. What? Yuki. You look around and realize you're in an office albeit a rather vacant and sparse office a small disheveled desk stands in the center of the room with a tattered map a bald gnome with a white
Starting point is 00:37:52 beard is pacing around the desk muttering to himself it's mayor prattle oh hi mayor i think you're kidnapped are we are we still uh in the bodies of those people? Yeah, you look at your hands, and yes, they are not Bart's hands. Okay. How did Gum-Gum, how is he a ghost? He didn't just save. You're a ghost. Can we see Gum-Gum's ghost? Do we know he's there?
Starting point is 00:38:13 Can we communicate with him? Sure, yes, absolutely. Why not? Yes, yes and. Cool. I look for pottery, the nearest pottery. Spectral gets up to look for pottery for some reason. That catches me or Prattle's attention.
Starting point is 00:38:28 Ah, thank Daya. You are all finally awake. I'm afraid you've been in a terrible accident and the cat... The door to the office slams open and a red-haired halfling woman dressed in rainbow robes storms into the room. Where is he, Felix?
Starting point is 00:38:43 Where is my husband, Fred? A dragonborn rushes in behind her and says, I'm sorry, Mayor Prattle. I couldn't stop her. Do you want me to? That's all right, Lois. Marcy can stay. Why don't you make us some of that special brew you've been working on?
Starting point is 00:38:57 Lois closes the door in a huff. Mayor Prattle continues. Listen, you all must have a myriad of questions, and rightly so. This has been quite the traumatic experience. I'm afraid there's no easy way to say this, but... Marcy, there was a cave-in in the mines, and Fred... Well, I'm sorry, but Fred's... gone. No, no, no, no. No, that can't be true.
Starting point is 00:39:21 He can't just be gone. She clutches a locket around her neck. This is sad. Do we recognize Marcy? Yes. Why do we recognize Marcy? Make an intelligence check. Could she be...
Starting point is 00:39:33 What's her face? Caroline? No, no, no. Well, maybe. Maybe this is like Caroline's origin story. Roll to four. Someone else with intelligence. Someone else.
Starting point is 00:39:42 She's got a face. You feel like you've met her. You know her. Go, Bart. Yeah. Go,. She's got a face. You feel like you've met her. You know her. Go, Bart. Yeah. Go, Bart. I know this person. I'm going to also roll with Bart.
Starting point is 00:39:50 Yeah. Oh, yeah. I know you. You're the 12. Bart, you know you've met Marcy before. You met Marcy in Pious Pass when she was going by the name Aleve. Aleve. I thought it could have to be Aleve. Aleve, that's...
Starting point is 00:40:05 I thought it could have to be Aleve or Perlite. Okay. When Bart says Aleve, I also say it, but try to like a millisecond behind. Oh, yeah, it's Aleve, Aleve, yeah. Aleve, Aleve. That's the ticket. And so the one that died,
Starting point is 00:40:16 that's the one that she was trying to bring back to life, right? Oh. Yes. Must be. Oh. Very good. Very good, Gum Gum. Man, what a layered story. Very good. Very good, Gum-Gum. Man, what a layered story.
Starting point is 00:40:27 My goodness. It's like an onion. Gum-Gum, even though you're a ghost, you feel drawn to this halfling. Okay. Mayor Prattle turns to you all. You poor folks were in that cave-in, and I can assure you that we did everything we could to treat your extensive injuries. No, I need to go down there, Felix.
Starting point is 00:40:44 There must be something I can do. No one can go into the mines right now. It's far too dangerous. It was a miracle that we were able to rescue these three amongst the rubble. I'm glad you are all on the road to recovery, but I have a tough request. There is something only you all can do, including you, Marcy. With the collapse of the mines comes the collapse of the town's resources, our whole economy. You all took the physical toll of the cave-in, but now?
Starting point is 00:41:14 Now our whole town might be at risk. We must seek aid from our neighboring settlements, and who better to express the town's plight than those who have suffered from it? I don't wish to be insensitive. I'm only saying that you all might be Boulderay's best hope at surviving. There is a forest to the west, the Elder Pines, and a lake to the east, Sheer Lake. Both are rumored to have extraordinary objects and arcane artifacts that could save lives, maybe even bring back what we've lost. But it's been difficult to convince them to trade with us.
Starting point is 00:41:47 Perhaps they will change their tune if you share your stories. Our story. This is like the infinite prequel. Origin story. Origin story, yeah. Yeah. Do you happen to know what caused the caving?
Starting point is 00:42:04 We are still trying to figure that out. Perhaps we dug too deep and the caves became unsettled. It's too soon to tell. Remembering back to the fight that was going on, did we recognize either of those voices? The one that was like, this is your legacy and I don't want it. They were so echoey, you know, from reverberating around the cave. It was hard to place whose voices they were.
Starting point is 00:42:27 Bart says in Sleek's voice, Did anybody else happen to die in those caves? Is that you doing a pitched down Ben? What do you mean pitched down? Ben always talks like this. I'm Sleek. Did anyone else die in those caves? What do you mean, pitch down? Ben always talks like this. Ben always talks like this. I'm sleek. Did anyone else die in those caves?
Starting point is 00:42:51 Oh, look at me. I have a beard and no loot. No, thank Daya. There were only minor injuries. Minor injuries. I was hoping Blade would spit take. He was taking a drink right then. Did you intend that to be a pun or was that?
Starting point is 00:43:10 Yeah, it was. It was intended to be a pun that I didn't think anyone was going to pick up on. Oh my god. Okay, well then I'll just wait to listen to the episode to find out who the voices were because I'm pretty sure one of them is Paralite. At this point, Louis, the mayor's assistant, walks in
Starting point is 00:43:26 and brings in coffee for everyone and starts handing it out. He's the dragon guy, right? Dragonborn? Yeah, the dragonborn assistant. Yes. Okay, okay. I didn't know if it was the same one from like way back when that fed us the coffee. Oh, yeah. I don't know if I trust Louis. Well, the mayor told him to go get the coffee. Maybe he's poisoning him. He gets his coffee all the time.
Starting point is 00:43:42 And just to be clear, you are talking about the first episode, right? Yes. Blaine, not Duncan. Okay, yeah, yeah, just making sure. Oh, wait. What? Lewis was in the first episode. It hasn't come back. Duncan was in Infinite Headquarters.
Starting point is 00:43:53 Oh, I thought that was, sorry. I thought that was the guy, Duncan. Duncan's the dragon guy. Yeah. Lewis is the one who taught you how to make coffee. Oh. Remember, like, Mud had the whole thing? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:44:03 In that, like, room with the coffee? I thought that was Duncan. Yeah, I thought that was thing? Yeah. In that like room with the coffee. I thought that was Duncan. Yeah, I thought that was Duncan too. You taught Duncan. Like the reason you all knew how to tell Duncan what the order to do everything is because Louis is the one who had told you initially. Oh, okay. How many baristas are in this place?
Starting point is 00:44:17 Gee, at least. Like at Starbucks, you go down one way, they're on the one side of the street. What's the deal with Starbucks? Anyways, are we... So is Mayor Prattle asking us to go to one of those two locations or to a specific location? Because he talked about... To go to both and try to
Starting point is 00:44:35 plead your case and see if they'll trade with you and help out Boulder Ray. Oh, God. Which direction are we going to go? If there's like a music place, then we should avoid that one, because that's how we get the loot. You want to just keep Sleek away from his origin story? I want to see if we can, like, Marty McFly this thing
Starting point is 00:44:54 and change the course of history so that Sleek's always useless. I don't think we can. I think these are pretty much just memories. They're memories. I know, but I'm just really grasping at straws to mess up Sleek. It's possible, though. It could be that we could change something. Maybe if I give Sleek a black eye or break his arm,
Starting point is 00:45:11 and then later in the future we ask him if that happened, then we'll know. And then we can utilize this as a weapon. What do you mean as a weapon? We can kill Hitler. We're in just memories. We're just in the mind we didn't time travel I mean obviously fantasy
Starting point is 00:45:31 Hitler that's what you're referencing right fantasy Hitler how about we just let our best mind decide which way we're going gum gum yes the ghost well he can kind of like He's all knowing right now That's not how ghosts work
Starting point is 00:45:47 Ghosts are like omnipotent Yeah, he's beyond the perceivable realm At this point He could see into the fourth dimension Right, Gum-Gum? Yes Gum-Gum, do you want to go to the forest Or do you want to go to the lake?
Starting point is 00:46:00 Let's go forest That's nice Gum-Gum, you've continued to feel Drawn towards Marcy even more. You're not sure what's happening, but your spirit is being drawn into her. You feel like you've become one with Marcy. It's a halfling bard, right? No.
Starting point is 00:46:17 Marcy's not a bard. I am a halfling bard. It was the halfling wearing rainbow robes. Yeah. So you're the healer. What was she, like a cleric? Yeah. I guess we'll find out. Yeah, so you're the healer. What was she, like a cleric? Yeah. I guess we'll find out.
Starting point is 00:46:26 I think so. God dang it. Hello. Is it me you're looking for? All right, Mayor Prattle, we shall head to the Elderpine Forest and totally figure out the economy of this city. I knew I could count on you all. But I also have enlisted a fifth party member.
Starting point is 00:46:44 She possesses an extensive knowledge of our local geography. She will be your guide to the Elder Pines and Sheer Lake. Luce! Luce, will you come in here? A cloaked woman steps into the room. She lowers her hood, revealing an attractive pale-skinned face with long black hair and dark eyes. She bows. It's true. I can get you where you need to go. But the real question is,
Starting point is 00:47:07 can you convince strangers to help people they don't know or care about? Seems like a waste of time, if you ask me. Everything starts to swirl into a scarlet haze. Luz wasn't Paralite. Luz was another character. No, I think it is because she's like, Luz, I don't go by that name. You can call me Paralite or something.
Starting point is 00:47:26 That's a pretty direct quote. She was like this exact long quote that I remembered. This must be Paralite because I think that's, isn't that her physical description? No, we had another character that was named Luce. No, I think you're thinking of the previous D&D sessions that we had. Did we have a Luce in the previous D&D session? Yeah, it was you.
Starting point is 00:47:42 Your name was Luce. Professor Luce. That's why. I didn't think that could possibly be it. I didn't want to say it. I was like, he can't be thinking about his own character from a different campaign we played. I just knew that name. I just knew that name. You know what would, like, here's, I gotta point out
Starting point is 00:47:59 something the audience gets to experience that definitely makes us look even dumber is that they get to hear these voices of these voice actors and they're like yeah that's how Paralite sounds we just hear Gus that's all we hear is we just hear Gus you get me amazing their blurry surroundings start to refocus and you hear the chirping of birds and the fluttering of leaves a slow misty voice says speak speak. Everything comes into focus, and you're at the top of a large tree overlooking a sprawling treetop village. Before you are three thrones made of gnarly pine. You're in an ornate open chamber made with a
Starting point is 00:48:38 natural canopy overhead. The voice speaks again, but this time you realize it's not just one voice speaking, it's three voices in unison. All three creatures sitting at thrones are speaking slowly and simultaneously. Speak. Why have you come before the triune? This is going to go terribly. Yeah. We're in the middle.
Starting point is 00:49:02 We're in front of, like, royalty right right now and we have to be diplomatic and charming. Is this in the forest that we're seeing this? Yeah, you see that you're in a treetop canopy and there's trees everywhere. I'm still caught up on the fact that he called the vines gnarly. Gnarly pines. Oh, sorry. Um, yes. We're here because we come from your neighboring town, Boulderay.
Starting point is 00:49:27 Wait, yes? Yeah. And we'd like to create a fruitful relationship between our two towns with trade and... Trade. Trade, yes, thank you. You down the clown? So what do you say?
Starting point is 00:49:53 What do you say? The three creatures look at you and then very slowly look at each other and then turn back. You've never seen creatures like this before. They're kind of furry with lanky limbs and they've got long claws and flat faces the close it would be like kind of like humanoid sloths skinwalkers oh i knew you'd like that chris they're dressed in like thick
Starting point is 00:50:18 leaf woven robes with mossy coverings all three of them speak up in unison and say, Boulder Ray, always so quick to move about. Perhaps if the people choose to embrace a more slow, contemplative way of life. I walk away. Hey guys, we should stop asking these guys questions. Okay. I can't agree more
Starting point is 00:51:06 honestly the hustle and bustle of everything really is the detriment to our society but we are is there a way that if we were to if we were to slow things down a bit you think that
Starting point is 00:51:24 would make it seem like maybe we're a town you'd like to create some sort of a relationship with? Is that what you're looking for? Before you answer, we're looking for a yes or no answer. Perhaps if the people could embrace the pinecraft,
Starting point is 00:51:49 we could see some progress. What's the pinecraft? Oh, no, no more questions. I love it. Kyborg slash Spectral is just over it. We dedicate our lives to the pursuit of work, which we can point to as evidence. Point two. Good lord. As evidence, we were here.
Starting point is 00:52:31 That's Pinecraft? I thought you were talking about Minecraft. It is just Minecraft. Who's the fifth person? Oh, Luz. Hey, Luz, do you know what Pinecraft is? Yeah, I've heard of it before, but never seen it. They'll spend a majority of their life working on something, like artwork, a tool, or a piece of clothing, imbuing it with arcane essence.
Starting point is 00:52:56 I like explaining the definition of a word with the word itself. So, work on their entire life to show that they've been here working on their entire life. It could be anything. A whistle they have carved or an art piece they've been honing to perfection. Like a bonsai tree could fall into there probably. Right.
Starting point is 00:53:16 Okay. How do we show that to them without spending time on something for our entire lives? Yeah. I throw a piece of chicken McNuggets wrappers on the ground or something. Perhaps you should spend your entire life. Okay.
Starting point is 00:53:43 We're spending our entire life talking to this guy. Okay. I am a halfling. So, I've never been a halfling before, so I don't mind spending my life as a halfling doing this thing. How about this? Marcy's making no sense. Marcy's drunk again.
Starting point is 00:54:00 How about, okay. again um how about okay so if we were to let's say sign some sort of treaty with you dedicating our lives to something would that be uh would that be a sign of you know something that you could uh agree upon that like we we agree that we'll dedicate our lives to this and thus you'll work in collaboration with boulderay from now on as long as we continue to do that thing for forever actions speak louder than words yeah okay than words words what would each of you pinecraft? Sleek, you're doing music. Yeah, are they asking the infinites?
Starting point is 00:54:57 Yeah, the infinites. Okay, well then, all right, let's group huddle. Sleek's definitely music. That's his pinecraft. Yeah. What are spectrals? Spectrals. That's his pinecraft. Yeah. Those spectrals. He's like magic, right? Swidehan, wizardry.
Starting point is 00:55:11 Is there a study of the other realm or whatever? Yeah, I'll fumble my way through that. What else do you guys... What are the other ones? That's gonna go great. We don't know much about the other people. We have a leave, so I guess maybe... Healing.
Starting point is 00:55:24 Healing crafts. Healing and praying. Yeah. And then, John, you can just. Who am I? Who am I? Just lie. Just lie.
Starting point is 00:55:32 Just say, oh, I'm going to a charity. You're Bo, right? That's the character you are is Bo. Yeah. But what do I do? I don't know. It doesn't matter. Maybe you could say you're still discovering yourself And maybe they could help you
Starting point is 00:55:45 Aren't you an orc? A half orc? I'm half orc, half like the genie thingy Yeah, so maybe like push-ups Okay Spend your entire life just doing push-ups? Can I like behold John's character And see if there's anything telling
Starting point is 00:56:01 About like what they might I don't know, maybe they have a craftsman's outfit or something. I don't know. As you're thinking this over, Mud, you find a bird nest in your pocket. Oh. Animals? Yeah, the theft of animals.
Starting point is 00:56:14 That's great. Okay, so I think I know how this is going to work out. We're going to go and dedicate ourselves to a pinecraft. And then we'll come back and show you the progress of that. going to go and dedicate ourselves to a pinecraft and then we'll come back and show you the progress of that and would that be the action you would need in order to do this agreement?
Starting point is 00:56:34 What is each of your pinecraft? Here guys, I got this one. Go ahead. Of your pinecraft. Here, guys, I got this one. I got this one.
Starting point is 00:56:48 Go ahead. Go ahead. Well, my pinecraft. This is an audio podcast. I cannot say that enough. This is an audio podcast that people are trying to listen to for entertaining value. This is entertaining me. Listeners at home, whether you're at Rooster Teeth or on Spotify, you can double time this whole
Starting point is 00:57:11 thing. Oh, I know it's entertaining you guys because every time Blaine winces, you take it down like another eighth slower. Oh, absolutely. Go ahead, Sleek. Is music.
Starting point is 00:57:29 I think. The confidence. Hey, what's up? My name's Spectral. My Minecraft is to do fancy magics to behold and amaze others. That was a major YouTuber like, what's up, gamers?
Starting point is 00:57:45 What's up, you beautiful B-words? Like and subscribe. Smash that like button. They don't seem to like the word smash. Oh. Lightly press. Smash or pass. Did they respond or are they waiting for me to say my name?
Starting point is 00:58:02 Probably you. They're still thinking about their response. They're watching. Yeah. Yeah. Go for it. I want to study healing. Pinecraft. Alright.
Starting point is 00:58:13 And I will dedicate my life to the care of animals. If you'd like, you can see
Starting point is 00:58:30 examples of other pinecraft. Oh, I would love to. And they slowly point off to the side of the thrones where you see there's a couple of examples set up. You'd noticed them before, but now you realize that they're examples of pinecraft.
Starting point is 00:58:48 Is what we're saying just more of a figurative, like a practice, and they actually want a physical good as a result? Well, let's look at what we're seeing. What are we looking at? Loot crafted to slow time. To allow for moments of introspection. Introspection. There's also boots that allow one to walk quietly and peacefully. They're already on. I've laced them up like five minutes ago. A spirit to observe the world without disturbing it.
Starting point is 00:59:51 But they're describing items that have already been crafted, and so maybe we need to say specific items that we're going to craft. Like Spectral needs to say what kind of, or maybe we need to go and make these things. Well, I think that since we have four members, and then we have two towns to travel to, we get two of the items that make the Info Knights here, and then we get two of the items that make the Info Knights of the other place.
Starting point is 01:00:17 So we're just going to steal these and do whatever these guys say, and then we're going to go complete the other quest at the other place. We're trying to craft a relationship with these triune people, and you're going to start it off by stealing their things that took someone a lifetime to make? Listen, we already know that Sleek ends up with the loot and Spectral ends up with the boots. We don't have to do this relationship building. They've already done it.
Starting point is 01:00:39 We're looking in the past. This is forever ago. We saw the loot. The world spirals into scarlet mist once again. See? You're welcome. The swirling day settles, and you hear the sound of churning water and the faintest whisper of a
Starting point is 01:00:53 haunting melody. Your surroundings come into focus, and you're in a circular room with stone floors, each stone glowing with glyphs. All around you, the walls are transparent, looking out into... water? It looks like you are deep underwater in an enclosed chamber. A blue and white creature swims into view just beyond the transparent wall in front of you. They appear humanoid,
Starting point is 01:01:15 but their arms are like winged fins. Instead of legs, they have a long, thin tail with a stinger. The creature speaks to you in a murky, feminine tone. I am Bri, an envoy that speaks on behalf Someone else want to take diplomatic job this time? Well, we just went from Kokiri Forest to Zora's Domain. So we got to find the blue tunic and the metal boots. What? Zelda. No, I know, I know. What was the question? What's our purpose? State your business, I know, I know. What was the question?
Starting point is 01:01:46 What's our purpose? State your business, land dwellers. Our business is, I don't know what, I don't know what Blaine is showing me. We're here to create a relationship between our two towns. So we come from Boulderay, which is to the north of you, I believe. And we're trying to create a relationship to, you know, open up trade and commerce between our two cities because we're kind of in need of that. Please tell me that this is like a village of people that talk like like rodeo bitter guys.
Starting point is 01:02:19 How many? You know, auctioneers. Yeah. Just to make up for whatever they're called. Rodeo bitter guys. Why should we be concerned with doing business with land dwellers? We prefer to keep things simple here beneath the water. Because when it rains, the rain washes all of the land down into the water.
Starting point is 01:02:42 Our environments are one and the same. Are you threatening to befoul our water? No, he's saying that that's part of nature, that even though we're separated, we're connected. It was a nice little sentiment. Guys, I'll just quote Phantom Menace when Obi-Wan talks to Boss Nass and he's like,
Starting point is 01:02:59 You share a symbiotic relationship. What happens in the land will happen in the water. You must understand we must form a peace. Was Captain Kirk in that movie? I don't remember that. Was John Lennon? Was Jerry Seinfeld? What's the deal with airplanes? No, no, no.
Starting point is 01:03:15 He's talking about the Gungans and the Naboo. And like he... I mean, I'll tell you, we've got some really great things on land. There's a lot of good stuff that can happen when it's dry out. And maybe we could share some of that. You know, we do things up there that you can't do down here. You know, it's like up where they walk, up where they talk, up where they stay all day in the sun. You people on land are always so concerned with dividing and owning and conquering.
Starting point is 01:03:48 It's the source of your conflict. We're not interested in becoming like that. Down here, we all share what we have as part of the collective. Communism. Collective? Collective. Because they're a lake. Touch on that.
Starting point is 01:04:03 Oh! Can you teach us? Teach you? To be collective, lake-ive. There's much to learn. We prevent conflict with solid boundaries. It makes things much simpler for us. Well, I think that's a great idea.
Starting point is 01:04:22 What if we were to also mimic that and create a wall around our city? Would that be a sign of, like, you know, homogeny? Well, the wall should only exist to stop the conflict. Otherwise, everything else should be shared. I'm getting mixed signals, my mate. I'm confused. I think he wants peace, maybe.
Starting point is 01:04:43 But he's also like, I don't know. She. She, hmm. Does she want peace? I don't know. She's talking about building a wall. Only to stop conflict. Okay.
Starting point is 01:04:53 To stop conflict, but not to stop the sharing of things. Right, because to gain knowledge, one must study. But to gain wisdom, one must observe. Often the answers and solutions we seek have been there all along. We have only failed to see them. Riddle me this. Yeah, right? Is it like ice or something?
Starting point is 01:05:13 Ice? I don't know. Like it's invisible and then it becomes a barrier. I don't think this is a riddle. Is this a riddle? You want to build an ice wall? I don't think so. Right.
Starting point is 01:05:23 I think everybody's just stuck on this being a riddle. Got it. Observation is a dying art form. We must learn to see what we are looking at. What are we looking at? What are you getting at that you think that we need to be doing in order to maybe show you reason for us to trade together? That's an excellent question.
Starting point is 01:05:41 You see, there are manifold worlds stretching out each moment you become aware of your environment and then make a choice. Man, I'm back in like philosophy class and I hate this. I hate this so much. To be or not to be? I went to one session of philosophy and I went, nope, I'm not doing this and I dropped that class and moved on.
Starting point is 01:06:01 Bart, make me a perception check. Aw man, 11. 11? Bart, you've a perception check. Aw, man. 11. 11. Bart, you've been off your perception rolls this episode. Yeah, well, it was on a 15, and then I just ticked over to a 5. I rolled a 12.
Starting point is 01:06:16 Yeah, you guys aren't doing great with your perception rolls. I guess Bart and Mud, both of you, as you're looking around, not really making much sense of what this creature's telling you, the glowing stone under your feet catches your eye. Hey, guys, there's a glowing stone under our feet. Is it a rune, or is it purple and, like, you know, sangria-knight looking? Yeah, what does it look like? Yeah, the glowing stones aren't purple.
Starting point is 01:06:38 They seem to have glyphs in them. Can mud, like, touch the stone beneath us? Sure. You reach down to touch the stone, and the female Shirei says, Ah, you admire our immersed gateway. It allows us to travel great distances to observe the world. This is the gateway that we go through every time we're traveling. Yeah, but I think they're all like talking about not actually physically traveling,
Starting point is 01:07:00 but they're just like they want to watch like voyeurs or something creepy, right? I don't know. right well how about this yes I love this little magical thing that allowed us to totally teleport into here is that what we did yes you've been summoned via the immerse gateway if we were to build one of those in our city would that be nice perhaps Perhaps, but we are very protective of the Immerse Gateway. Oh, it's like a patent type thing, you know, they don't want to let their IP out.
Starting point is 01:07:33 The creature swimming before you replies, True enchantment lies in everyday moments if you are. She pauses for a moment and looks around with concern. Vigilant. I'm afraid we're no longer alone. Farewell, land dwellers. And with that, she teleports on the spot and vanishes from sight.
Starting point is 01:07:50 She actually said, Be gone with him! You guys couldn't see it, but Blaine's mustache just shooketh the ground. I gotta give it all for my boss Nass impression. Why does this feel a lot like when, like, all the varmints and birds are flying away from an area because something's about to, like, do a big chomp? Oh, because Gum Gum farted. Or, like, dogs start barking at ghosts or something like that. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:08:18 Yeah. Can I... How about Bo looks around to see if we're in danger? Maybe Bo and everyone else should make a perception check. Yeah. I just said Bo's looking around. Yeah, I'm telling you what it is. Am I doing a perception check as Kyborg,
Starting point is 01:08:33 or are you going to give me a new character sheet for, not Sleek, the other one? Spectral. What's his name? Spectral. I want to move along. 14. I rolled a 14.
Starting point is 01:08:43 John's ready to go. No, no, you're going to use your same stats. All right, 17. Boom, 14. I rolled a 14. John's ready to go. No, no. You're going to use your same stats. All right. 17. Boom. 14. I have a 13.
Starting point is 01:08:49 Yeah, that's really good. Could I also make an argument that because this is a memory, shouldn't it be like just perfect perception because we're seeing it all? But you're in the moment of the memory. You're like reliving it. Fair enough. We haven't been through the memory. Correct. Yeah. This is how it plays out.
Starting point is 01:09:08 So Bart, Mud, and Gum Gum, the three of you, as you're looking around, it seems like the chamber that you're in is on the bed of Sheer Lake and the bed is covered with coral, seaweed, and stone ruins
Starting point is 01:09:23 all about you. Wouldn't it be like Lakeweed? Well, the Sheer Lake is a saltwater lake. I guess it is still Lakeweed, but it is saltwater, not a freshwater lake, if that makes a difference. Youse and O'tinkin use a greater dindigungans. I'm putting, I'm putting, that's the last one. Last one you get. Stop.
Starting point is 01:09:44 Last one. Last one you get. Stop. Last one. Kyborg, your perception check was a little bit better. You notice that there are a set of stone steps outside of the chamber to the northeast that seem to lead downward below the lake bed. And you also spot a current of water to the north that looks unusual. Unusual, huh? Stopped.
Starting point is 01:10:10 I know. Use of people gonna die. Use of people gonna die? I feel like we should go investigate that unusual thing. Oh, yeah. Hey, guys. Is this the part of the memory where Bo, like, kills Spectral? Did that happen? Is this part where, like, oh oh my god, we didn't know.
Starting point is 01:10:26 No, no, Spectral's still alive, remember? Spectral's been dead this entire time. It's a whole Sixth Sense kind of thing. Oh, Spectral. You did encounter Spectral in the ethereal plane, if that matters at all to you guys. Luz, who is also with you guys, if you remember, mutters, I don't like this. And she unsheathes the dagger.
Starting point is 01:10:42 We need to get out of here. Try something with the stone glyphs. Maybe they will transport us back to the shore. She said, I got a bad feeling about this. Bo touches the glyphs. Bo touches the glyphs. Bo touches the glyphs. I'm going to communicate to my team that I thought the thing that I saw.
Starting point is 01:10:56 Bo touches the glyphs. You don't know what I saw. I'm communicating that I thought the thing that I saw. One at a time. One at a time. Let each other speak one at a time. Fight, fight, fight. Bo starts dancing on the glyphs like Tom Hanks in Big.
Starting point is 01:11:12 Oh, I see. You can make the movie references, but Blaine can't. Oh, yeah, sure. Yes. Double standard. As long as it's Tom Hanks references, I'll allow as many as possible. Well, son. Yeah, that's water.
Starting point is 01:11:24 That's water themed. Yeah. Wilson! Yeah, that's water. That's water themed. So there's actually four stones in a quadrant that are marked with glowing glyphs. One's red, one's yellow, one's green, one's blue. Simon says. You said you pressed one there, Mud? Yes. Okay, you press the one in the upper left and it opens up. I don't want to call it a window, but it opens up an opening at the top of the dome,
Starting point is 01:11:48 and water starts pouring in. Do I take my hand off, or do I have to hit it again to make it go back? Well, you took your hand off, and it's open. Then I hit it again. I hit it again. Mud hits it again, and the opening closes. There is some water in with you guys now, but it's not, like, super high. We'll say it's below your knees. Don't like that. Don't like
Starting point is 01:12:05 the idea of potentially drowning. Don't worry, guys. I can turn into an animal that breathes underwater. Wait, I'm Bo. Never mind. Also, how does that help us? There's four different glyphs now that you look more closely after mud starts stomping on them. The one in the upper left
Starting point is 01:12:21 looks like a square divided into like four quadrants. Quadrants! The one in the top right is two wavy horizontal lines. The one in the bottom left is three straight horizontal lines that kind of curl
Starting point is 01:12:37 at the end. And the one at the bottom right is a single zigzagging line. Wait, are there any corner lines? Like any, like, they go like in an L shape? No. Okay, all right. I don't know if this is like a Bioshock puzzle where you have to connect the flow of the tubes in the water.
Starting point is 01:12:56 Oh, no, no. So the square with what? That's the one you hit. It's like a quadrant divided into four. Okay, okay. So the four quadrant opened up the door. An opening. Made an opening with water. Made an opening. Yeah. Did you open up a
Starting point is 01:13:12 did you hit a particular one of the four quadrants or did you hit them all or what? Is it just a button? It's just a single. They all act as one. It's not like subdivided or anything. So there was two wavy lines, three straight lines. With a little lip. They're like three straight horizontal lines that kind of curl at the
Starting point is 01:13:28 end. I touch the zigzag. The zigzag. Lightning bolts spark down all around. Why is that a button? Nope. Okay. They strike the water that you all are standing in. Oh no! Everyone go ahead and roll a dexterity save.
Starting point is 01:13:44 Why is that a button? Oh my god. Mud. Stop pressing things. Stop pressing. We should talk about this. Yeah, let's no more pressy buttons, okay? Twelve. Oh, twenty-one. Thank goodness. Twelve. My dice landed on both. What do you mean? That was weird.
Starting point is 01:13:59 I see a three. I know, but the dice itself stayed on a corner between one and thirteen and one and 13 were both highlighted. Weird. Very weird. I'm glad it picked one. Yeah, you're hacking. All right, well, since it picked one,
Starting point is 01:14:14 Mud, you take two points of electric damage. It's not that bad, guys. Okay, I think I figured it out. An eddy of water starts to darken nearby, and it slowly churns and twists into two narrow eyes and a gaping mouth. A low, miry voice bellows from the maw. Kutane zuwa! Kutane zuwa! The mouth opens wide and charges towards you all.
Starting point is 01:14:42 What does it look like? Is it a giant worm? We'll have to find out in the next episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon. What? You're going to end it there? I want to know if it's Smarsh. Kup Tani Zua. He spoke common. Okay, fine.
Starting point is 01:14:57 He might speak more than one language. We don't know. He is king. Hey, really quick, since we're leaving the episode. Peace! That's another boss mask thing. It's like, it's harder to understand because it's just the one word, but when he holds the ball at the end.
Starting point is 01:15:14 All right, well, thanks for listening, everybody. If you want to listen to more terrible episode one impressions, come back next week. I'm sure we'll still be doing them. But that's it for this episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon. We will talk to you guys next time. Bye. Stay buzzed.
Starting point is 01:15:28 Stay stinky. Stay stinky. All of our slogans are just stay blank for whatever the show is. Stay stinky. Thank you. you

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