Tales from the Stinky Dragon - Passé in Perrish - Between the Tales- C02 - Ep 33.5

Episode Date: February 6, 2024

The party wakes up at the base of an unfamiliar mountain and must find The Alchemist and Carol! Support us at stinkydragonpod.com/first ! Join us on Discord: https://discord.gg/roosterteeth Check out our merch and follow us on Twitter, Instagram, TikTok and more: https://linktr.ee/TalesFromTheStinkyDragon Go to http://hellofresh.com/dragonfree and use code dragonfree for FREE breakfast for life! Go to http://meundies.com/dragon for 20% off your first order, plus free shipping. Download the DraftKings Sportsbook app now and use code STINKY. New customers can bet $5 to get $200 instantly in bonus bets. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is a Rooster Tales episode. You do not get a spooky voice. What about an arrow? You get a fun game. A game? D&D! Did we get Chris back in again? That's pretty good. I'm going to give one player a feat of my choosing. If

they can accurately and succinctly... Chris, you raised your hand. So go for it. Recap? I don't know. The timer starts now. You buzzed in.

All right. Well, we started with the murder. What murder? No, no, no, no. Cheat codes. Cheat codes. You put that down. Succinctly.

This is not succinct. Chutes and ladders. Barbara, the murder of one of the Wolfman. Oh my goodness. Wolfman. And then we were blamed for the murder. We went on a try and figure out who the murderer is. Alchemist helped us break out of jail. We went through and we found that Eddie's

doing all this bad stuff and blaming us for the murder. So we went chasing after Eddie and then Eddie kept framing us for stuff. We were going through trying to get all the lands. We went to Phoenix. 60 seconds. And then Eddie kept framing us for stuff. We were going through trying to get all the lands, you know. Where did we go? Went to Phoenix. 60 seconds. And then we fought a cat Phoenix. Yeah!

50 seconds. We went to Phoenix and fought this Phoenix. And then so we did that. And then we've been doing more stuff. 40 seconds. Barney is, he thinks he's alive, but he might not be. And then the cat's actually not a cat. 30 seconds.

And then also we just fought a bunch of the hags, and we beat them. And so they're trying to invade Parish. 20 seconds. And take over more. And we didn't. And we stopped them. And then also we saw Carol and she was a hag.

But then she passed out. Wow. All right. That with 10 seconds to spare. Welcome to Tales from the Stinky Dragon. What was the actual... I'm going to finish the question now. Okay.

Oh, please let it be something completely different. If they can accurately and succinctly recall the previous arc in 90 seconds. I thought Blaine had their hand up first before Barbara. Technically, he did it in about nine. He did. He didn't. Apparently.

I would like to see if anybody can do more on the previous arc. Blaine, go for it. Okay. So we're on a train heading to Parrish. At one point, Jacques the cat. He already got something wrong. it. Okay, so we're on a train heading to Parrish. At one point, Jacques the cat... He already got something wrong. No, we're heading on a train. Parrish was one of the places that

we ended up because we were chasing after Jacques. 80 seconds. So we get there. We get encountered by the headless horseman, and then he thinks that we're bad guys. We're good guys. 70 seconds. We run into Louis the ice giant who is terrorizing the town. We defeat him and then save a lady.

And then he... Who's the lady's name? 60 seconds. Katrina. So her and the Headless Horseman have like a little rendezvous because it's Parrish. So we're looking around. We try to get out of Parrish into the hag territory and past them. we try to get out of parish into the hag territory and past them

but in the process we run into a plot by the hags to take over parish they have somehow Katrina was actually a hag in disguise takes over the headless horseman's brain brainwashes him I think because they have his head in their

under his control and that somehow controls the headless horseman so we have to get back into Parish. We try to get the Cavalry to, which is like the local police force, to help us stop this hag invasion. So then we encounter the hags as they're about to come in.

There's three hags that are leading the whole charge. One of them, Shivy, seems like they're not completely aligned with them. We get into this big battle. Turns out Shivy's actually my wife, Carol, in disguise, but we're able to stop it, but Shivy, seems like they're not completely aligned with him. We get into this big battle. Turns out Shivy is actually my wife, Carol, in disguise. But we're able to stop it, but Shivy gets away. One, two, one. One, happy new year.

Happy new year. Barbara, your hand was up after Blaine. Was there anything you felt like he missed or anything you want to elaborate on? Yeah, there's a couple things he missed. One of them was us stumbling upon the grave of one Barney Farney. Oh, he covered that. Where we discovered Barney has a bit of a tragic backstory

and may or may not be alive. We also traveled to the Astral Plane where we discovered a little bit more about Matide's pet, Australian. Where we learn that Jacques is actually Jack, and then

Matide got a new cat in the making. Named? Named Fifi, Gigi. Gigi. We also met the also Barney's dog, Stinker.

We also met the Hannah's character. Also, Bernie's dog, Stinker. We also met the... Hannah's character. The mummy. Mummy. The mummy who was a ghost in the tavern. She was kind of drunk. That was cool.

The Covenord is where the hags all live. What else? Talon is what... Something. The then they're controlling the uh the alchemist they are yes well kind of um yeah oh lewis they're using lewis um has a split personality for for bad yeah and he has no control over it yeah he's taking potions. Five. I wrote something that says Ragnar has headdress. There's also, we find out there's another organization.

So Chip used to work for Dagger. Dagger. Carol worked for Talon. And then there's another one I think called Sheath. Right. Well, in Chip's vision, we saw the hag say something about sheath or she teeth or something like that. But then in the last episode, we heard what they actually said. That's right.

Do you feel like they missed anything, John, that you want to cover? I think they did a good job. I think they did a good job. Sheath. I think they did a very good job. I think they covered a lot of it. I think, yeah, y'all hit pretty much all of the key moments I was looking for here from each of the episodes. So which feet should I add to my character sheet? We each get one lucky.

We each get one left foot. You know, I think nobody really mentioned Juzzy the Darkling who led you through the mausoleum. I know, they missed that. The traitor! I even wrote Juzzy. I don't think anybody mentioned the Dome of Ice in which you had to fight Lewis initially.

You kind of mentioned that. No, I didn't. I'll be honest. Yeah, I think other than that, you pretty much covered all of it. I will say, I think Barbara hit the most points that I was looking for out of everyone here. For this campaign, this arc. Which was the question. When I saw Chris's arm up, I was like, all right, let's go.

He did a pretty good job he did the overall arc but for this for the question for this previous arc I'm going to say it was Elga what feat does Elga get

so you can add this under features and traits okay feats manage feats and then add the feat name charger charger okay

you can use dash and gain a bonus action to melee attack or shove that's actually really good for you. Yes. Now, is this a 69 charger? Because those are pretty slick.

These days, there are four-door sedans, but back in the day. It would have been cheating if I had tried to get for that because I already have a feat that lets me recall everything with accurate. Oh, true. Matisse does not need more power. What? I need another boost. Come on.

All right. I've added charger. Yay. So it's when you use dash action, you could use a bonus action to make a melee weapon attack or shove a creature. So it has to be when I use dash, not anything else. That's cool though, because that means you can go far and then still attack. Still attack, yeah.

Which is really good for your character. Yeah. What? Dash is usually like, what is it? Double your speed? Double move. So you can double move and then still attack. Still attack. Cool. What? Dash is usually like what is it? Double your speed? Double move. So you can double move and then it's still attack. That's great. I'm coming to get you. And sorry, what's the attack? It's an unarmed strike?

Melee attack. A melee attack. Wait, so then she can use her axe then? Yes. Heck yeah. Meanwhile, back in Talon HQ. What's going on there? It's lore. Carol, back in Talon HQ. What's going on there? Zlor. Yeah.

Carol, very weakly, murmurs. Chip. Carol slumps into Chip's arms, unmoving. You look down and see the veins in Carol's face and body have quickly turned a sickly green. Somewhere off in the distance, you hear a familiar high-pitched cackle of Eddie. No! But suddenly, a purple-skinned crone reappears before you all. Seeing the carnage that lays before her,

she shrieks an incantation. All four of you start to feel an intense drowsiness wash over you. The world around you blurs and your eyelids droop. She said everyone go to bed, I think. Yeah, go mimis. And just before you drift off to sleep,

you hear a scream of outrage followed by a feeling of being cradled. All four of you fall asleep and you can all, on the bright side, everyone gets a long rest. Yay! But my wife! You guys are, you're next to each other. You're safe. You're good.

Can I, can I like, am I still cradling Carol when I fall asleep? I think you're being cradled. Well, I would want to go for the, like, you know. You can try. It's like, am I still cradling Carol when I fall asleep? I think you're being cradled. Well, I would want to go for the, like, you know. You can try. It's like, you know, as you're dozing off. Sure, why not? Because I don't know if I'm dying or if I'm going to sleep.

So I'm going to like do the last thing that feels right, which is hold on to Carol. Oh, that's sweet. Everyone make a perception check. Fine. I'm going to perceive how to kill Eddie because he took my wife. That's an eight or five. Twelve. Nineteen. I's an eight or five. 12. 19.

I have an eight. Oh, that's a rare low perception check from Elga. Chip and Elga, you start to come to and regain your consciousness. And it's really hard to notice anything because you're laying on some rocky ground that's very uncomfortable. It's hard for you to really look around and focus on anything else. Mateed, you stir and you notice that behind you, you see some

dense fog rolling over some hills. Barney, with the highest perception roll of all, maybe you're used to, you got like old man powers, you don't need very much sleep or something. He cleaned his glasses. I slept on the way! You took a nap earlier. Barney did, actually.

Before you, you see jagged, craggy mountain made of black rock. And you also notice that the alchemist nor Carol seem to be anywhere in sight. I see a mountain, and it's just us in the middle of, like, wilderness. Yeah, you're all around rocky ground. You see some dense fog rolling over some hills.

And before you is a jagged, craggy mountain made of black rock. Does this look familiar? Like, do I recognize this mountain? Make a... We'll call it a wisdom check. Can I make it as well? Sure, why not? Eight. Nine.

Nope, never seen this mountain before. Wise old souls. I wasn't going to do it, but now I want to. Before the party starts getting up And like perturbing the ground What? Are you okay? What happened there? My wife!

Ladies and gentlemen Borat has joined the I want to know what word he was trying Perturb? Perturb? Disturb? No Blurble gerbil perturb uh footprints do i do i see if like i know my wife's feet size what size seven that's canon make an investigation check i think you're yeah perturb

that'll be on our separate wiki page, Stinky Feet. Oh, yeah. It's a net one. Plus four, five. Five. Yeah, you cannot seem to find any kinds of tracks or anything in the area. I'm very perturbed. By the way, I rolled a nine, so we don't get anything else from this. Can I roll a wisdom, too? Do it.

The wisest of us. The wisest. So much wisdom packed in that tiny little body with your safe wisdom i'm going to be so smart and get a 15 yay oh yeah so do you feel like your party members are looking kind of slack-jawed at the mountain okay like they're not comprehending what they're seeing you see it for what it is it's a mountain but you've just never seen this specific one in the past you You know that confidently. What kind of terrain or like weather are we dealing with? Like, are we a snowy kind of place?

There's fog somewhere behind us. It's kind of brisk, cold and foggy. Okay. But not something we're familiar with. No. What does the air smell like? So I will say the dense fog rolling over the hills. That seems familiar to you since you rolled so high on your wisdom.

That does seem like... Parisian? Parisian, reminiscent of the city of Parish. And even though maybe you think you've never seen this mountain, there is something about the black rock composing the mountain that seems familiar to you, Elga.

Is it like the... No, it wouldn't be like the rock from the fireplace. No. Okay. Where have we seen black rock from the fireplace. No. Okay. Where have we seen black rock before? That sounds familiar. I've seen it in Warcraft. Did we ever figure out who...

Gus didn't even hear my wow joke. I'm reading a couple of things. I made a wow reference and I need you to acknowledge it. Thank you. I was also thinking of Lost, the ship, the Black Rock. Oh, yeah. Did we ever figure out who had, who's the other possessor of the Cartus Deia?

Oh, who was sending you letters? Don't know. Do I know? Do I remember? You should have asked Carol. We didn't have much time there, Bernie. Bernie. Sorry.

Bernie. Bernie. Bernie. Chip, did you lose your wife again This isn't funny I think that's a very Sensuous subject to Chip That's in

Hey That's in character I said it in character Like normally Chip is very chipper Oh nice He's He is

Not feeling great Like he's like Probably looking around Just checking Like Manically Looking for Any clues Have you looked in your bum bag Honestly that might be Actually a legitimate Question probably looking around, just checking, like, manically looking for any clues.

Have you looked in your bum bag? Honestly, that might be actually a legitimate question. Okay, I look into my bum bag, because I remember there was an exchange of some sort. You remember, Carol did put something into your bum bag. Right. You reach into it, and there is something unexpected in there. You pull it out, and it's a silver pin embossed with a symbol

that appears to be a scabbard with an S wrapped around it. Oh, that's sheath. Sheath, yeah. Don't you have a silver locket, Elga? Yeah. I'm just curious. Silver jewelry. Should I look at my locket?

No, it was just a silver jewelry. Maybe think about it. Chip, look, we match now. What is that locket? This locket? Yeah. Some pictures. Is it your sister? It's my sister Yeah, oh, that's right. Is there any thing?

No, no, no It just triggered a mind. It's just me. It's just check off silver locket button thing Could I look at my locket just in case? It's just how you remember it Carol pops out It's a picture of Carol Wait a minute. Carol pops out. It's a picture of Carol. Wait a minute. Carol is my sister?

What? What's like, what's our distance to this mountain? Is it like, are we at the base of it? Is it like in the distance? Yeah, you're kind of at the base of it. I'll tell you what, make me a survival check for me, Matita. Oh, no. I always fail these.

You should probably also investigate what this locket is. This silver thing. Yeah, 21. Oh, nice. I will survive. You are at the investigate what this locket is. This silver thing. I got a 21. Oh, nice. I will survive. You are at the base of this mountain. And, you know, as you're looking around, trying to figure out where you are in relation to it,

you actually see there's a trail leading up the mountain. And there's a pair of drag marks leading up the trail. Oh, is there drag marks? Drag? As in, like, someone was dragged? Yeah, as in, like, presumably, like, two bodies have been dragged. Oh, like that a drag mox? Drag? As in like someone was dragged? Yeah, as in like presumably like two bodies have been dragged. Oh, like, okay. Could be Carol, could be Alchemist.

Okay, well, before I do that, what do I know of Sheath? Is this an organization that's even more like top secret than Dagger? You have not heard of the organization Sheath in the past. Is there anything else, any other information that can be gleaned from this pendant? Your only experience with Sheath so far has been Carol mentioning it and then I guess this pendant or this pin. And also that vision Chip had, right?

Of the hag like on the ground. Wasn't she like all like beat up going like, she like you're trying to read her lips and she was saying like she teeth. Was that Shivey in that vision? I think it was. Maybe you've seen this logo on the pin before? It's something you haven't

paid attention to or doesn't like really stick out in your mind. Maybe you've seen the logo written somewhere? I don't know. Hey gang, I got a gift from my wife in our very short amount of time together. How do you know it's from your wife? What? How do you know it's from your wife? Well, because

okay, so to catch you up in the middle of that battle whenever i went up to break shivy out of the uh prison that she was in they revealed to me that that was that was carol undisguised oh and if she's alive and if i i didn't kill my wife first and foremost no we we don't know and no one else saw her except for you Yeah we have not seen Sure Chip you didn't kill your wife And that was definitely her Yeah not saying that you did It's just that we do not know yet

I'm trying to be as friendly as I can I'm going through a lot emotionally right now gang So if you could just like Cool it But did she You said she gave you this little pin Yeah so you know I know my wife I know that she's a good person But did she, you said she gave you this little pin? Yeah. So, you know, I know my wife.

I know that she's a good person. So whoever this sheath organization is, I believe that they have her, you know, on some sort of an assignment to infiltrate the Coven Nord. Or maybe they've stolen her. I don't know. They're not mutually exclusive. That is not true.

Great insight from Barney there. That is very astute, Barney. I appreciate your input so much. Barney just showed up, everyone. Barney worked for corporate America for many years. Knows you could be working for someone and a slave to the corporation. Perhaps we should investigate these tracks that I found. We should.

But before we do, does anybody recognize this S, this sheath symbol? Does anybody? I need help. I need to know if anyone sees this. Take a look. Yeah, if anyone wants to look at it, can make a wisdom check.

I miss rolling with muds, wisdom modifiers. Nine. I have good wisdom. Fourteen. Fifteen for Elga. Not bad. Very wise, Elga. Not bad. Very wise, Elga. Barney, you've had bad wisdom checks today.

I know. You have a plus five modifier. No, the... Just to make Chris feel worse about it. I'm just saying. I expect him to normally roll really good on these. He does have good wisdom, yeah. No, the symbol does not seem like at all familiar to anybody else. Okay.

I've never seen the letter S before. But you know what it is. Elga von Brass has no S in it. Gang, I think we should go follow these marks then. Oh, and Chip puts his hood on. That means that Chip's in his, like, anti-hero face. All right. I like how Blaine points like, excuse me.

Blaine doing the little tip of his head and finger pointing. Things, Chip, hey, the Chip you knew, he's away right now for business, alright? You're getting serious, Chip. Oh, I am so, uh... Don't mock me, Mateen! I'll kill ya! Too late!

Minnesota Chip just showed up. You got me there. Wisconsin Chip's gone. Yeah, yeah, late. Minnesota Chip just showed up. You got me there. Wisconsin Chip's gone. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The Chip you knew and loved, he's out. He's gone on vacation. Now that you say that, guys, I want this Chip to have like a Brooklyn accent or something. He's just totally different.

I'm walking his. Chip, hey, me. Someone really chipped him off. Yeah. Mateed walks along the tracks. too as you I yeah I will come and does me think Barney address to you answered in Chris Chris here yes but I'd like to see if Chris is in this place with us make a investigation is the Chris in the room ten you think check. Is the Chris in the room?

Ten. You think there may be a Chris in the room with you? I think someone is in this realm with us. We do not know before. While we walk, can Barney go up to Chip? Her? And be like, I just want you to know

it's really brave of you to go after her. It can of you to go after her. It can be scary to go off. I just look. I'm sorry. I'm processing. No, Blaine was like bracing for you to take another jab at him. And so your sincerity has caught him off guard.

I've had family missing for a long time, and it's not always easy to go searching. It seems like it would be. Chip rests a hand on Barney's shoulder. He says, I appreciate that, Barn. We're going to figure this out, and by golly, we're going to find out and get to the bottom of your mystery, too.

Are you guys crying? Elga a moment okay now you got to tinker to help you track stuff down is that he's a full-blooded boneham no no bone do you have a sad mystery that you would also like to like you know you would also like to like, you know. Elga doesn't feel emotions anymore. Why does it look like you're crying right now? It's the fog. It's precipitation. It's crying on my face, the rain.

I think Micah pointed out that I think Elga does still have one emotion. Rage. Elga smash. The most important emotion. Hey, little stinkage. Elga smash. The most important emotion. Hey, little stinkers. It's John here. I wanted to give you your own little update on what's going on in the stinky world in February. February, we got a Discord event coming up just for our first members, which will be on February 20th at 4 p.m. Central Time. I'm going to be ranking all of the Stinky Dragon NPCs

along with the first members in the chat. And we're going to have an exhaustive list of NPCs. And if you're not there, you don't get to have an opinion on how we rank them. It can only be there if you're our first member. So if you want to support the show directly, you should consider becoming a first member. They're our patrons, and you can find out how to become that at StinkyDragonPod.com slash first. And our first members, they support us, and they allow us to create more great content that they get access to, like bonus episodes of our weekly Dungeon Mister player deep dive BTS show, which is called Second Wind.

We also have Show Me the Magic, which is an exclusive show on how Sneaky Dragon Adventures, our awesome puppet show, was made. They get ad-free episodes at sneakydragonpod.com and an ad-free podcast feed, including all of our bonus content available at Blaine's favorite URL, StinkyDragonPod.com slash RSS. And they also get, like I said, monthly subscriber events like live streams, Discord events, and even exclusive merch on occasion. That's pretty cool. Speaking of merch, coming out next week on February 16th during the lovingness month of the year. That's a word. Bartholomew, Bartholomew, Bartholomew. I can't say his name.

Bartholomew Finn's tour shirt. It's coming out. It's Barb's character from Infinite. He's got his own shirt and it's awesome. It looks like a band tour shirt. And if you want all the shirts, you got to remember we also have GumGum's cool Flower Power shirt in the store

and a neat little dice tray that you can roll dice in or maybe feed a pet out of. I'm pretty sure it could hold kibble. Speaking of kibble, I don't have a segue for this. We're on social media and Discord. You can find us at Discord at bit.ly slash StinkyDiscord and join us there. Or if you like the

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Or the top of it, because we're going to the mountain. You're right. What's y'all's marching order? I'll be in front. I'll be second. I was going to say I was going to be in front, because he's my wife.

Dude, should we roll off to see who's in front? Yeah. Yeah, let's do it. Let's go. Who can power rock faster? Let's just roll a D6. Let's just do it. Yes.

Very good. No modifiers. I'm a one. What does that mean? Last or first? I assume that's last. Three. Five.

Two. So, Barney's first. I didn't know Barney was buying first. I don't want to go first. Barney's first. Give me your dice. Barney, Matee, Chip, Elga. I don't want to go first. Barney's first. Give me your dice. Barney, Matee, Chip, Elga. This seems like a great marching order.

I just want to say. Why are we going so slow? And nobody got what they wanted. That's what compromise means. Barney, Matee, Chip, Elga. Barney can go fast. Chip's further back than he was intending. I'm not in the front.

You got the old man on I'm not in the front. You got the old man on the walker leading the way. Well, why don't we just swap Chip and Barney? So it'll be Chip, Mateed, Barney, Elga. Only if Chip and Barney are okay with that. No, I was trying to get ahead of Chip. Okay. On a serious note, I'm trying to do something with

the character. Okay. So I wouldn't mind leading because this is, you know, like I'm getting to the point of my mission would you like to lead the group i would love that oh then all you had to do was ask that's all i had to do that's all you had to do why would i fight you for walking in the front of this place i mean what if something were to come and try to kill us oh I didn't think of that. By all means, you may shield me like as a friend you are. After you, Chip. So is it

Chip Barney Mateed Elga? Let's say yes to move on. Yes. Okay. Strategically speaking. I'm kidding. Yeah, it's fine. I hate you guys. Chip, make me an investigation check.

I'm glad I led. Oh, that's a 11. That's not bad. As you're walking up the trail leading to the party, you come across a trail of scarlet droplets leading up to a small red puddle in the middle of some large, jagged rocks. Look, Elga, a snack.

Hey, Elga. Yeah? I think that this falls under your purview. Rocks? Blood. Blood? Wait, why would you think that? No reason. I'll still check it out, though.

You have those special glasses. We just thought that you'd be very good for investigating. Yeah, let me go take a look, actually. If you don't mind. She sticks her head in. I'll also investigate. Like into the puddle? Not in, like up close to the puddle. Could I do a little, like, I'd take a little dip, dip, lick, lick.

Yeah, you get down real close to the puddle, and the puddle tastes familiar. Oh, that was not a word I thought you were going to say. Are you a positive? A positive? It's a vintage you've had experience with in the past. Are you saying it's blood? Who has Elga drank from? It's not the hemoglobin goblin, is it?

As you taste it and think about it, the blood congeals and forms itself into a blood method. That strikes out at you, Elga. Okay, not cool. It hits AC. That's like if Chris was attacked by ice cream. Yeah. Just his greatest love betraying him. It hits AC 20.

Yeah, that hits. The blood forms into two blood methods, actually. Oh, no! And one of them lashes out at you while you're not expecting it, Elga, and hits you doing two points of bludgeoning damage. Oh, no. Each or, like, two total? Two total.

Okay. Do you have, like, a new thing that you could use? Like, cool new power? I'm not currently raging, so it's not like I take half damage or anything like that. No, like your level up stuff. Oh. Because we leveled up. That's a good segue.

This is a Between the Tales episode, so that means everyone is now level seven. Even though we call them Between the Tales, but these episodes are part of the lore of the story. So people should be listening to them. I think during the Infinite campaign, it was very much detached from the story. I think we're trying to incorporate a little more story now. It's fun. We get to do role play and make Chip cry. What do you want to do?

I'll give you a reaction here since you're the one who got attacked. Yeah. How close are they to me? Like they must be right up on me because I just hit, right? Yeah. One of them is right up on you attacking you. The other one is like booking it super fast away from you all. Oh, really?

Well, is it more than 60 feet away from me yet? No, but it is flying. FYI. Could I throw my axe of the scare about it? Yeah. Is that the one you can recall? Yeah. Yeah.

It's like a boomerang. Neat. Okay, boomerang. Okay. 18, does that hit? Yeah, I'm pretty sure it does. Yeah, it does. That does eight points of damage on it.

It explodes into a puddle of blood that falls back down to the ground. It's a great rock band. Elga sticks open her mouth and just goes, ah! And then I don't think it cost me any sort of action or bonus action to recall the axe. I believe you are correct.

So I want to use the same axe to hit this one close up on me. Do you have to do anything cool to recall it? Uh... Yoo-hoo! That was better than I could imagine. The shoulder shrug after... Yoo-hoo! It specifically says as part of your attack

you can make the axe fly back to your empty hand. So it's not like it's own action or a bonus action. It's just part of the attack. No, but what Barbara did is what I wanted. No, that canonically, yes. The evil must happen every time. Can it do a thing where like it hits the thing on the way back to you? Or is that a double attack? No, probably not.

I mean, if you want to incorporate it as like an attack roll, you can try that. I'll just catch it and then hit the one in front of me. Yeah, do it. Go for it. Paching. Nice. 26. 26.

That, believe it or not, that hits. Good hit. And that, oof. Only seven points of damage on that. That's exactly what you need. Yay. This blood method also screams and disintegrates back into a puddle of blood in front of you. Wait.

When we encountered the blood methods out in Carcasuc, yeah? Yeah. I love the way Chip says Carcasuc. Carcasuc. So y'all been out there to Carcasuc yet? it's out in Karkasuk, yeah? Yeah. I love the way Chip says Karkasuk. Karkasuk. Y'all been out there to Karkasuk yet? These probably aren't native to this land. That is weird that we're seeing these in what we think may be a parish.

Yeah. I wonder how they got there. Anyways, I'm gonna just take a little sip of this if you don't mind. You're gonna clean it up? You don't want anyone slipping on it? Could I do something? It exploded in your face, so it's all over it. You have a little bit right there if you want to get it You're going to clean it up. You don't want anyone slipping on it. Yeah. Could I do something? You got it exploding in your face so it's all over it. You have a little bit right there

if you want to get it. Okay. Hold on. Okay. I'll clean. I have a question for the party. Does anybody remember how that Hema Goblin encounter ended? Didn't we? Did we freeze it? I think we destroyed it and then inside of it was the inspector. Captain Weezer?

I think it gave kind of like one of those like, I'll get you kind of speeches before it. Like claw from Inspector Gadget? Yeah, I think that something like that happened. Like it was still alive. That's what I thought. I just can't remember. I can't remember the specifics of how it retreated.

I'm just trying to remember the alliances. Who is it like aligned with? Because if this is like an Eddie trip. I don't know. Then there could be like a, you know, this could be a liberal Snake Mountain Skeletor situation. We're going to the headquarters. Yeah. Elga, are you all right?

I'm so good. If you see any more of those blood things hanging around, just let me know. I will do that right away. You'll take care of it, right? Could I also put some of it in my sippy cup? Sure, why not? Okay. I dunk my sippy cup in.

You know, for the road. Yes. What for the road? For investigative reasons. Well, you know, they said that you could, you know, blood... Anyways. Where's your wife, Jim? Oh.

I, uh, Who was in front? Chip. No, Chip. Chip was in front. Chip, would you like to proceed on the path? Let's get boogieing. Would you like me to take the front? No, no, no.

Okay, I just wanted to check. My wife. Okay. I'm just mumbling that under my breath. You continue your trek up the mountainside. Why don't you make me another investigation check chip? Oh, you know I'm going to succeed on this one.

Here we go. And it succeeds relative, right? 16. Oh, that's really good. As you are walking up, you discover a small cave in the side of the mountain, and there are drag marks on the ground leading inside. And you feel like every now and then you hear a scream coming out from inside the cave.

I silently pause the party, and then I ask Barney, don't you got some sort of dark vision thing? I do. Let's boot that up. Okay. We're going to have to, you know, go in there. And it shoots off. It does.

It shoots off. Eyes of night. You have a dark vision out to a range of 300 feet. As an action, you can share this dark vision with up to five willing creatures you can see within 10 feet of you. It lasts for one hour. Who are you sharing it with? I'm sharing it with the party and I guess Stinker.

I was going to say. I don't want him to get lost. We can throw the bone real far and he'll go get it it scares stinker he closes his eyes oh he does that thing where he closes his eyes and just starts shaking a little bit got it your dark vision activates so you can see pretty well into the cave and since you can see all the way into the cave you see that the drag marks end in a mountain goat being held down to the ground and fed on by two giant bats. Wait, bats? Yeah, two giant bats are currently sucking the blood of a mountain goat that they've trapped inside the cave. I'll attack the bats.

I'm conflicted. You say you're attacking the bats? Yeah, yeah. Get away from that poor mountain goat. The bats have to eat. Could I communicate attacking the bats? Yeah, yeah, get away from that poor mountain goat The bats have to eat Could I communicate with the bats? Can you? I mean, I have echolocation, I have keen hearing

I may have something else What do you got? Spill the beans I don't know if I should say it Spill the beans Because I don't know if Elga's discovered it yet It's up to you It's how you come across these things.

Okay. Guys, before we attack anything, you know, I think bats are just a little bit maybe misunderstood creatures. Do you mind if I give something a try? Go for it. Go nuts. I've been working on this. I do prefer things that fly over the ground once. Okay. Well, I want to protect

the baby goat. I'm focusing. No one said baby. No one said baby. Well, everything's a baby in chip size. Including Elga? You're the babiest baby, Elga. Okay. What about me? You are the ugliest baby. There are some babies that look like old men. That's true.

Okay, I need to focus. Bet. Bet. Bet. Bet. With that, Bat. Bat. Bat. That's the best. With that, Elga very quickly transforms into a bat. Whoa.

Oh, my God. This very normal little girl turned into a bat chip. Can you imagine? I think this little girl's become a little woman. That's the last time I'll do that, I promise. What's that? Streaking and clicking for both of you guys. I'm very happy.

Yeah, you are now flying around the party. Whoa, guys, look at me! Do you understand what I'm saying? I'm speaking, but I don't know if it's coming out in clicks and shrieking or my voice. I'm just imagining bat body, Elga head. What do we hear? Yeah, you can understand her. Wow.

What size is bat elga? Bat elga is not giant bat size, just like a more average bat size. Oh, so just like a... So like still... Like a fruit bat. Oh, a fruit bat. Like six inches? Yeah, not too big.

And the bats that are eating on the goat? Those are giant bats. In D&D terms, they are large. Mud turned into giant bat to carry the... The hemobile. The hemobile in campaign one, that's true. Am I able to communicate with them? Yeah.

Oh, dang. Hello, my fellow bats. It is me, also a bat. Clearly, you see my wings. That's how I approach anybody new Hello fellow humans It is I, also a human Do you see my wings and how I fly?

Bats Very cool She turns back into Elga when she says that No, she didn't say Elga Yeah, exactly I'm just wondering what the you Fine people Fine bats people are doing over here.

Is this goat? What's evil or what's going on? What's your persuasion modifier? I'm just curious. Feeding. Oh. Feeding. Oh, very cool.

Little bat join? Yeah. Guys, I don't know what to do. Do I look cool with my fellow bats? Did we figure out if we can understand her? We do. I didn't hear your answer. So they don't know what the giant bats have said.

Only you know that, Elga. So Elga says. I think they're having a meal. Try to lure them away from the goat. We, you know. But what? I mean, circle of life, you know? Yeah, but the goat, you know, might, I don't know, could be a shapeshifter of some sort.

Is there anything that I could tell is like special about this goat? It's a really good screamer. Oh, it's like still alive. Yeah. That's the screams that you all heard from inside the cave. Um, this goat sure does look tasty, but I have to tell you guys, just outside the cave, we actually found a whole puddle of blood that you don't

even have to chew to get to. You just have to go sippy-sippy and it's right there. That's a pretty good argument. I'll tell you what, make an animal handling check with advantage. A seven and then a three and then a seven. I'm going to use my inspiration die.

Ooh. Because I really want to persuade. Yes, nat 20. Nice. Ooh. Free blood. Free blood, yes. Not that they have to pay for it normally. Free of being inside the creature. They take to the air and fly out of the cave, leaving

the goat. Okay. Guys, I think the coast is clear and the ghost is clear. Elga! Elga re-transforms from a bat back to the Elga we all know. And I probably fall down onto the ground. That is so fascinating. Chip, what can you turn into?

Fire resistant. That is the first time I've heard that That's very interesting The goat bounds out of the cave And begins running up the mountain You'll remember this, yes That goat's gonna save our lives someday Can't wait for the finale As Eddie is about to bring down his axe

You hear a scream from on high. It was the god of goats that we didn't know was there. It could be a druid. Who knows, you know? Yeah. Yeah. It sounds like John's been reading Greek mythology over here. There's a lot of goats in Greek mythology.

Well, is there anything else further in this cave, or should we go back out to the trail? No, that's pretty much it for this cave. Okay. You kind of sidestepped a lot of it with your infernal night vision. Yeah. Matida does a nice little head bow and lets Chip go ahead. Okie dokie, gang, back on the trail.

Here we go. And then I start heading back up. Everyone else is imagining like Chip doing that little like power walk kind of thing, like the shuffling. Oh, yeah. The glutes are activated for sure. Does anyone think we should get Chip longer shorts? Five inch inseam is perfect.

It shows off my meaty legs, but it's also conservative enough that it's not inappropriate. Fair enough. Blaine looks like he's power walking in his seat. Chip, make me another investigation check since you're leading the party here. Okay. Here's the good one.

17. Yeah. Oh, yeah, it is a good one. That's your best one so far, I think. It is. It's because I said so. Yeah. John allowed it to happen.

Yeah. As you're walking up the trail, you make a turn in the path and you stumble upon a fellow traveler sitting on the trail. There appears to be a silver-haired dwarf wincing as she rubs her ankle. Oh, hey there, friend.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. there, friend. Oh, hey. Oh, God. Oh, you scared me. Yeah, I'm a rogue. I'm kind of used to sneaking up on people, but I have no reason to kill you, friend. What are you doing here? Well, we are searching for my wife, Carol. She's beautiful.

I can tell you all about Carol. One time we were out at the theater, and I I just didn't pay attention to the play on stage because I was looking at my beautiful wife. That's beautiful, Chip. That's so beautiful. And she's just the loveliest person you ever met. Anyways. What play was it?

The Phantom of the Coffera. Nice. That's actually good because we have Khaf sitting next to us. It was Rats. Oh, Rats. Was it the musical Rats? Yeah, Rats. Was Taylor Swift in that one?

Anywho, we're looking for my missing wife and our friend, the alchemist, who may also be an ice giant named Louis. That was a very unconfusing way to tell people what we're doing. I'm pretty confused and I know what's going on. Is everything okay? What's wrong? You seem to be in a little bit of pain here.

She's kind of like rubbing her ankle and wincing. And you can see that she has, it looks like she has an injury on her ankle. I was attacked by some red viscous creature that tried to drag me away. Oh. Was it made of blood? Maybe, but blood shouldn't move around.

Where were you going? I'm mountaineering. Mountaineering is for fun. Yeah, looking for treasure. Oh. Looking for precious metals. There are a lot out here? Well, it's a mountain.

Okay. The name's Charlie. Charlie Graves. What's yours? I'm Barney Farney. Nice to meet you. What happened to your ankle? It's all here? Well, it's a mountain. Okay. The name's Charlie. Charlie Graves. What's yours? I'm Barney Farney. Nice to meet you. What happened to your ankle? It's all hurt?

Well, yeah, I was attacked. I got the red creature tried to drag me away by the ankle. And did you say that what kind of creature was Charlie? Silver-haired female dwarf. Charlie Graves. Yeah. Cool. Well, Charlie, maybe we can, you know, help you out.

Is anybody got any heals for Charlie? I can help. Chip Haney, by the way. Pleasure to meet you. Do you know what the blood method got heels I can help chip chip any by the way What the blood method is no, what's that? It might have been the creature that was taking you away. Was it was flying? Yeah, like a like a Creature made of I guess Okay had wings like oh, what is it called you know those flying things Yeah, what's the name of them?

A bat. But she has to, it's not where she says bat. She has to willingly want to turn into a bat. Otherwise, you don't know if she's watching a baseball game. Like, oh, broken bat single. I could also only do it, I think, once per long rest. Right? I can fly all the time. Yeah, it, once per long rest. Right? I can fly all the time.

Yeah, it's once per long rest. That's nice, Blinkie. Blink looking at me. So should I check that off since I did it? Okay. And Barney, were you going to try to assist Charlie? Does Barney have a new way of doing this? No.

Nope. Just the same old ways. Yeah, I can do it stronger. Oh. But that same old. I have a I can do it stronger. Oh. But that same old. I haven't done some new spells. Disabuse spells? Yep, that's what he's going to do.

Some new spells. I'm not going to use them because they're not really, I don't know. Why don't you just fire one off for fun? Yeah. I'm sure we will rest before the next time we really need to be using our abilities. So maybe let's just see what it looks like. I love magic. Okay.

What are you going to do, Chris? Well, I mean, I have two new spells that are fourth level spells. They're Aura of Life. What's that do? 30 foot radius of life preserving energy. And it basically, everyone has resistance to necrotic damage and it's hit point maximum can't be reduced.

So it's like a buff. Yeah. That's a buff. And then if you non-hastile living creatures regain one hit points when it starts to turn in the area and has zero hit points. Oh, okay. It can bring people back to life. And then I also have greater invisibility. Did you have lesser invisibility at some point? I don't know. Okay, no. I just didn't care.

But now I do. I have greater invisibility. We're going to lose our old man. Why? Because you're going to turn invisible, and then we're just going to lose you. Bye-bye. Come find me. But I can also cast my other spells at fourth level now. Oh, you got fourth level spell slots now.

I got A4, yeah. But what are you going to do to heal this person? I'm going to do a third level of... I like when Chris stays in Barney voice while he talks meta. I'm going to. I mean, I could do lesser restoration but no no that's not right where's my healing

I'm sorry Gus it's a lot of spells to keep track of you've been looking at your computer this whole recording he's method everybody he's method as a cleric in Baldur's Gate, it's overwhelming. And then you can change them out.

So they're always different. Note to self, don't play cleric next campaign. Clerics are so OP, I think. I think they're really powerful. They're very good. Complicated. I want to cast I guess Aura of Vitality. Healing energy radiates within 30-foot radius until the spell

and Aura moves with you, center on you. You can use a bonus action to cause one creature in the Aura, including you, to gain 2d6 hit points. Did you say Aura of Vitality? I understood about 50%. Aura of Vitality! Vitality. Vitality.

Vitality! There you go. I thought the guy was going to sprout, like, a very thin mustache and talk about speed. No, they were just going to eat a a very thin mustache and talk about speed. No, they were just going to eat a small meal of vittles. Okay, so your aura of vitality springs forth and I assume you are using it to heal Charlie? Charlie, yeah. It was a glowing aura, right?

So he like lights up? It just says healing energy radiates from you in an aura. I guess visually I translate that as like. Yeah. Yeah. Golden light. Go ahead and roll your 2d6 hit points to heal. Eight.

Oh. Yeah. Charlie, you know, stops rubbing her ankle. I almost said heal. And says, oh, that feels much better. He like stomps around a little bit on it. Walking around. You make sure you don't get a Charlie horse. Good one, that feels much better. He like stomps around a little bit on it. Walking around. Make sure you don't get a charley horse.

Good one, Chip. High five. High five. My wife. Make sure you massage it before you go to bed or it might swell. Drink plenty of water. Do rice. You heard of Bengay? Bengay. It's Dr.

Barney. It's Dr. Barney. It's Dr. Barney. Are there, is, were's, we had like two trails of drag bodies. Yes. Has one of those ended at Charlie? I think it was both feet of the goat. That's what I'm asking. Well, no, I'm asking like, is the trail still there?

Are there two trails still? The trail has kind of come and gone. At this point, you don't see it anymore currently. Okay. Thank you. Charlie. Perhaps you could help us understand

how we might be able to get to, I would assume that the peak of the mountain would be the direction we want to head. Do you know where that is?

Oh, yeah, absolutely. Charlie points out a very difficult-to-see trail and says, head up in that direction. That's where you want to go. Merci beaucoup. Can I roll to check

if Charlie's chill? Can I roll for chill? Yeah, you want to make a vibe check? Yeah, I'm going to check a vibe, I'm gonna check a vibe check. We should have a vibe check. We call it an insight check. It literally is a roll.

How's your insight? It's a minus one. Okay. That's a six. Charlie might be the most trustworthy person I've ever met. Charlie seems super cool. Charlie! Hey! Hey, Charlie! Charlie! Where'd the chocolate factory at, huh? You said you were looking for treasure, Charlie, right?

Yes. Where are you headed to for that? Oh, I'm going to head deep into the mountain. Should we come with you? It's very treacherous for non-dwarves. Like, is that the size thing, or? Just the knowledge of mountaineering and moving around through mines. All right, so you're saying you don't want us to come with you?

No, I appreciate the help, but I travel faster on my own. Have you ever been to the Under Globula? Yes, I have. Yeah? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Lots of gems down there. Lots of gems.

You ever heard of, what was that guy called? Aren't you looking for your wife, Mould? Listen, I try to distract myself, alright? Very emotional. I try to keep things light. Well, I don't want to hold you up. It sounds like you're very busy looking for someone. Mateed just shuffles Chip along and just pushes him up the trail.

Remember the kindness that we gave you today, Charlie. Thank you. I'll eat a goat over the campfire tonight in your honor. No, no, no. Oh, okay. Everything's been for naught. Charlie rides in on the goat in our final boss battle. Yeah, Charlie and the goat.

Still, it's the same march, right, Barney Matidelga? Yeah, sure. Yeah, you all continue up the path that Charlie pointed out. And up the mountain, you hear the sound of rushing water. After some trial and error, you eventually unearth some loose rock in the mountain, you hear the sound of rushing water. After some trial and error, you eventually unearth some loose rock in the mountainside that leads into an indoor waterfall of gurgling scarlet ichor. Gurgling and burgling.

Scarlet? Yeah. So red goo. Yes. Out from the crimson waterfall emerges a horrendous horned creature made of swirling blood. You're even more foolish than I remember. You shall all drown in the vengeance of the hemogoblin. Well, I don't need to breathe, so that's not really that much of a bet. Everyone roll initiative.

I have advantage on initiative now. Oh, you do? Yeah. I don't know why. Maybe it's just a level up thing, but a little A showed up. I rolled a nine. I have a thing that gives advantage. I forgot to use it.

Mine's an 18. 23. I rolled an 18. What have a thing that gives advantage. I forgot to use it. Mine's an 18. 23. I rolled an 18. What's your dex? My dex is 14. I'm 15. Cool. So chip first. Chip before Elga. Oh, it's your feral instinct. It's new with level seven. Your instincts are so honed, you have advantage on initiative rolls.

Additionally, if you're surprised at the beginning of combat and aren't incapacitated, you can act normally on your first turn, but only if you enter your rage before doing anything else on that turn. Oh, good to know. And I'm going to roll initiative for the Hemogoblin. Do you think Professor, I mean, Inspector Weezer is in the Hemogoblin again this time? That'd be embarrassing. Twice getting hit by the Hemogoblin.

So Hemogoblin will go between Elga and Barney. All right, Matide, before you stands, or not stands, but before you is the giant Hemogoblin laughing maniacally, threatening to drown you, which really doesn't, it leaves you nonplussed. Listen, I spent an hour and a half in the ground. You cannot drown me. Yeah. Okay.

Let's have some fun. Let's party. Let's do this. You want to go nuts? Let's go nuts. Let's have some fun. Let's party. Let's do this. You want to go nuts? Let's go nuts. Let's go nuts. Yeah, I'm going to get up on his business. Man, I really wish how we defeated him last time.

We will do it this time. I'm going to attack him with the Spear of the Spear Baker. Ooh. Just do a nice little attack. Roll for that attack. Ooh, that's only a 13. Oh, bye. That hits. Oh, it does. Ooh, that's only a 13. That hits. Oh, it does.

That is the exact number you need. Fantastic. Oh, man, bad rolls. Seven is the damage. That is piercing damage, I assume? Yeah. Yeah. Magical piercing damage.

Ooh. Mm-hmm. I'll do it again. Why not? Ooh. 11. Oh, that is not enough. Oh, actually, wait.

I forgot to do something with that last hit. I did a hit and did damage, so I can do a stunning strike. Oh, yes. Why not? Hit it, Zale. Use it. Stunning strike is when you hit with a melee weapon attack, you can spend a ki point to make the target stun until the end of your next turn if it fails.

Con saving throw of DC 14. And, spoiler alert, I got another key point. Woo! I have seven. So how many things could you do now? Well, the key points are the currency, but my limits of actions and turns stays the same. Okay.

Do you have a key chain? That's pretty good. That's pretty good. So it's a DC 14. Did you say constitution saving throw? Yeah, why not? I've got a plus three, so I need an 11 or better. Okay.

You rolled a one. It's a one. That's a failure, which means the Hemogoblin is stunned, which is a stunned creature is incapacitated, can't move and speak only falteringly. The creature automatically fails strength and dexterity saving throws and attacks against the creature have advantage. Okay okay so then can i have my next attack at advantage yes okay then i shall roll again is it only the next attack or the chemo goblin will

still be stunned the stun lasts until the end of your next tournament did you want the monk to stun your character at the top of the room no i've got a lot of immunities and I read it like four times and stun is not in there. Vansis, 26. Take nine magical piercing damage. Are we able to just kind of perceive if

what they're open to attack to, what they're vulnerable to? Are you asking like is there a check to see what a creature you're fighting like, open to attack to, what they're vulnerable to. Are you asking, like, is there a check to see what a creature you're fighting is like? I'm so sorry. Baldur's Gate, you can just, like, right-click something and examine it, and then it'll be like, oh, this person's, like, prone to this damage.

Can Blaine right-click the Hemogoblin? There is no right-clicking, but you have encountered this creature before, so if you ask on your turn, I can probably give you a little bit of a... Good question. Good question. Do you remember when you got that note

in your bum bag, Blaine? Yeah. Where it said, I'm amongst the dead now? Yeah. It's a funny thing that I just remembered. Because she's among... I mean, she's in Parish, right? Yeah.

So that's like the dead people. In the Hagling. Anyway, sorry. Complete departure from... No, I'm happy to talk to you about Parish. That is exactly the kind of thing we should dive into and talk about on Second Wind. That is a great thing to theorize.

Available for first members. Oh, yeah. Become a first member and check out Second Wind. If you like this show, you need to listen to it. I'm going to round out this fight with just... I'm going to use Flurry of Blows. Almost said Furry of Blows. I did not

write down that nine points of damage. Let me make sure I get that in here. Get ready to write down some more damage because we're rolling 25. That is a hit. And that is nine magical feet damage. Show feet damage. Yep. Show feet damage. That's a nat 20, 27.

Oh my... Okay, so it's a crit. I'm going to take a look at the damage you roll, and I'll make sure it's modified for the way we do it. I rolled a 1, 1, 4, so take away one of the ones and put a 6. Yeah, so then that is 11 points of damage. And it's magical feet damage. Magical feet damage. It's very important for you to remember that.

But it's like, it's Talon. Yeah, Talon's okay. Talon! Yeah. Mateed's working with them. I have Talon's. Mateed's foot it's Talon. Yeah, Talon. Okay. Talon. Yeah. Mateed's working with them. I have Talons. Mateed's foot deep in Talon. I have many.

They're most talented. Yeah. And I'm just going to stay up in its business. All right. I believe that's 32 points of damage total from Mateed there, if I'm counting that correctly. It is nothing. Mateed there. That's a great start.

It's true. It is nothing to theit there. That's a great start. It is true. It is nothing in the Hemogoblin. Chip, you're up. He has 550 hit points. Are they still prone or whatever? Stunned. Stunned. Yeah.

Okay. You remember from your previous encounter. I'll tell you what. Make me a, let's call it a survival check survival check you got that will you survive it's a four let that be a lesson to all our listeners don't neglect your intelligence and wisdom uh stats i always do i you know sometimes i do it intentionally because it's like, oh, that's a funny character trait. They're dumb. And then most of the time it's just like,

no, I can't do the basic roles. I'm going to make a character next round that has zero physical abilities and it's just a mind roaming around with you guys. You need that. Why does four get Blaine? You remember you fought this creature before. I knew it. Good job. Old foe.

I mean, he did say nice to see you again or something. Didn't he? Since they are stunned, I have the assassinate feat. You're going to use your feat too to fight? You have advantage on attack rolls against any creature that hasn't taken a turn in the combat yet and any hit you score against a creature that is surprised by a critical hit.

So they haven't taken a turn in combat, so they have the Assassin's thing. Correct. So, I have advantage. Correct. And you have advantage anyway because it's stuck. Uh-huh. Yeah. But he's going to use his advantage, not mine. Gotcha. Gotcha. Gotcha. He's his own rogue.

But also, I'm going to use the Copash of the Desert Storm. I feel... The storm of the desert. Tempest. Yeah. You gain a plus one bonus to tack roles. You made this weapon on hit on a hit deals and additional one D four lightning damage.

So I'm hoping that the lightning damage does something. You know what they say? What happens when you hit a hemogoblin with lightning? What does happen? Same thing as everything else. God, awful writing. I love it. Oh, oh, oh, oh.

I have sneak attack. Sorry, I just thrown all my things at you. Once per turn, you can deal an extra 4d6. He's just going through his character sheet for you guys. 46 damage to one creature you hit with an attack with a finesse or ranged weapon if you have advantage on the attack roll. So I get an additional 46 to

what I'm about to roll. Correct. And that is an upgrade now that you're level 7. It was 3d6, I believe. It just became 4d6 now that you're level 7. Dang. Also, I would have had this anyways because Mateen's within 5 feet. So, I don't know. Whatever. Let's just roll this. Let's get this bacon. Let's get a roll on.

So that's a nat 1. So we're going to roll that again. That's a 18. Critical fail. Nat one. Critical fail. After all of that. Good job.

I have advantage. Because Chip has advantage. But Chip has advantage because of his own ability. So that ends up being an 18. Okay. So I'll roll for damage. What's your roll? That's a four, but that's just for the slashing.

And then I get a 1d4 for the lightning. So that's a four. Where does the 4d6 come from? That's the lightning damage. No, that's your sneak attack damage. Oh, sorry. Yes, that's your sneak attack. So I'm going to roll that now.

That is a series of bad numbers. Nine. Yeah. Two ones. Two ones in there. Yeah. Yeah. Two ones. Two ones in there. Yeah. Yeah. It's okay.

It's okay. That's 13 damage. And then you had to do another one? I think that's everything. Yeah. Okay. We're so good at this. Well, then in that case.

We're so good at this. I will also use cutting action. And I'm going to. Cutting. I'm use cutting action, and I'm going to hide. Ooh, okay. Are you moving away or just staying right up there? I'm going to hide. I'll stay nearby. This thing had this thing where you made a loud noise, and it would spew blood at you.

That was the fountain, though, that had that. Yes, that is correct. But I thought that's because it had that. Yes, that is correct. But I thought that's because it had the hemogoblin in it. Yeah, but that's how, since the hemogoblin was attacking through the fountain, that's the way it found you. Like it was like, you would make noise and it would attack at you.

Oh, I forgot about that. Did that lighting damage do anything extra? Yeah, absolutely. Oh. Look at Gus. Straight face, yes. Gus is always at advantage on persuasion checks against Blaine. Do you want to roll stealth to go into hiding?

Sure. Roll it and I'll just make a note of it here for now. That's a 20 and a 16. We'll take a 20. I have advantage because of my sneakers. Yep. Roll me a perception check chip. Oh, yeah?

That's a 20. There it is. Minus perception check. Chip. Oh, yeah? That's a nat 20. There it is. Minus one, I think. You see Carol. What? What? What? Huh? Where? In the hemogoblin. Really? What? Uh, okay. And you see Lewis in there, too. What? Guys, guys, guys!

Like the, like, frost giant? Yeah. The hemogoblin! It's got my wife! She's in there. And that other guy. Did Weezer get hurt whenever we were attacking the hemogoblin the last time? Or was it protected? I think he was protected. I think he was fine.

Yeah, after we finished up, he kind of came out. Yeah. Just like, hey, gang, let's not stab too deep, all right? Because you might hit my wife. But that's all I do. Aim for a limb that's not near my wife. Are we able to see through the hemogoblin? It's like opaque.

So it's like you can't constantly see Lewis and Carol. That's why I didn't say anything earlier. It's like they kind of like come up to the surface and then like, you know, go back in. Do you think it's like warm, like like come up to the surface and then like you know go back in like warm like a like being in the womb as a baby maybe maybe it's very comfortable for them all right so i did the hide but this is before i knew that that was in there otherwise it would have they used a bonus action to maybe like reach in there and grab her out but if that's too late

it's fine it's fine it late. Sorry. It's fine. You look really shooken up about that, Gus. I wish I'd said it earlier and I didn't plan it that way. We have fun here. We have fun here. Oh. Oh, Elga, you're up. After Elga's the hemogoblin, then Barney. I'm such a big fan of playing Gibson.

So only Chip saw that Carol and... But he yelled it out. He screamed it out. My wife! Don't worry, Chip. I'll take care of it. Rage. I would love to see Elga pull out just like a giant straw

and like extend it. A telescoping straw. But yeah, I would love to see Elgo pull out just like a giant straw and like extend it. Yeah. A telescoping straw. But yeah, I'm going to rage. Okay. Now, Elgo would do it like a Jedi knight coming out and then bringing out their lightsaber. Just a straw. How far is the emo goblin from me?

Not too far away. We'll say 20 feet. 20 feet. Okay. You going to go play Whack-A-Carol? Don't you dare. I won't do that. I am going to run up to it though. Okay. You're going to go play Whack-A-Carol? Don't you dare. I won't do that. I am going to run up to it, though.

Okay. Right up on it. And then am I able to see Carol or Louis in there? Make a perception check. Here's hoping. Nat 20, 24. Dang, two nat 20 perception checks. Yeah, you see them both kind of floating relatively near the surface.

Okay. Her beauty shines through. The most opaque of things. The poetry ended. Giant size seven feet. Yeah. Could I go to swing to where I'm not going to hit them? Oh, absolutely.

Okay. I'm going to use my great acts of gaining for that. And then go slash. And that is a 15. That hits. Okay. You slashed it. Oh, and you have advantage anyway. Roll that one more time just is a 15. That hits. Okay. You Slashed it. Oh, and you have advantage anyway.

Roll that one more time just to see if it crits. Okay. It does not crit. Okay. But I rolled 12 points of damage. Okay. And then... Oh, also when I Rage, I took the form of the beast with the tail.

All right. Good to know. Tail twins. And then I'm going to do another attack. It's 14, but do I get advantage again? Yeah, you do still have advantage to roll that one more time. Okay. Oof, 12.

Yeah, 14 does hit, so you're good. During 13 points of damage. Oh, wait. I get to add to... A rage. For both. So the first one would have been 14, and then this was 15. So it's another four points of damage total, right?

Yeah. Okay. That's 13 on that one. Rage for bonus two attacks. Do you want to move anywhere? I want to stay here. And I think it would be a bonus, but could I try to reach in to grab Carol? Or would that be a bonus?

Can it be a free action? It would be a bonus, but why not? Let's give it a shot. Okay. I'm going to try to grab Carol. Make a, like, an unarmed strike. But, like, not too hard. Be gentle.

Okay, I'll be very gentle. 16. Oh, sorry, 26. Oh man, that's really good. Yeah. I mean, you see both Lewis and Carol, which one are you trying to grab? Carol. Okay, yeah.

You reach in and grab Carol and make a strength check. I'm going to do it opposed with the Hema Goblin, but I'm... Oh, wait, he automatically fails because of stun. Oh. You're a goblin. Nice. Creature automatically fails.

Yeah, I was going to give you advantage, but no, he's stunned, so he automatically fails that. Yeah, just make a strength check just in general to see if you're able to pull her weight out. 14. You have advantage preservation. On strength checks? Yeah, don't you?

You said it so convincingly. Well, 14 would be the higher roll, so 14. Either way. Yeah, you're able to grab on and pull Carol out free from the hemogoblin. Carol, I think. What? She seems to be unconscious. Elga holds up Carol under the armpits and goes,

Is this your wife, Jim? My wife! This's my wife! Be so, so careful! She's so tiny! I know, but she's strong. How close was this to us casting the whenever we healed, what's the dwarf? The something with vitality?

Yeah. How much time has passed? Probably 20 minutes. Okay, never mind. Yeah. Cool. You have to climb up the trail always. And then since she's kind of covered in goo, I imagine, could I kind of like slide her a little, like away? Like a curling? Yeah, yeah. Because I don't want her to be too close.

I'm going to say no because you already had the extra action to pull her out. Okay, yeah, you're true. Okay, so I got it. She looks kind of like Neo when he's removed from the Matrix. He's got all the goo on him. Is she bald? I set her down just behind me if that's okay. Okay, yeah, that's fine. Okay, so I got it. She looks kind of like Neo when he's removed from the Matrix. He's got all the goo on him. Is she bald? I set her down just behind me, if that's okay. Okay, yeah, that's fine.

Okay. That's it for Elga, I assume? It's the Hemogoblins' turn. Who is stunned. Who did that? Who did that? I think he can still attack. Can he attack?

They can attack when they're stunned? Oh, wait, does moving? No, so they're incapacitated which means they can't take actions or reactions i hate you i'm sorry it looks like he's got like a like a kidney stone you know because lewis is a big old rock ice guy got them carol are you sure this is the guy you want to be with? Hi, honey. No legendary resistance to make you angry with? I'm just going to start attaching that to every creature we fight.

All right, yeah. I mean, the Hemogoblin can't do anything. Barney, it's your turn. Then after Barney, we go back up to the top to Matit. Yeah, we'll say that the... Wait, no. It's that the cat can speak only faltering. The Hemogoblin goes... It did not catch that.

Could you say that again? It's not quite coming through. Are you okay? I thought you spoke common. What is this? Speak back to it in its native tongue, Matida. Barney, you're up then after Barney. Go back up to the top of Matida. Barney, you're up then after Barney. Go back up to the top of Matide.

Nothing. Barney's going to do... I'm gonna do my spiritual weapon as my bonus action. I cast that and that'll make a spiritual weapon in the form of Barney's angry fist. I think Gus

said you couldn't do a fist. No, no. I couldn't do a whole cat is what we did. You did the paw initially. I did a cat paw, so I could do Barney's angry fist. Okay. And then that punches at the hemogoblin. Now, does this giant fist also have carpal tunnel arthritis? Yeah.

And that's... I shall roll for that wait no it would just hit him at advantage right? Yes okay this is like super mage hand age fist 18 wait what was the first one? I already forgot 17 okay

18 it hits I will roll for it that does 7 points of damage alright and then with my turn I I shall cast. Right. Can you cast again? You cast a virtual weapon. Well, I can use a cantrip, right?

Yeah, you can use a cantrip. Yeah. So I'll use Toll the Dead. Ding dong. Who is it? And that is two. Oh, wait. I got to roll to see if it attacks.

I already rolled my damage. It was 16. So I need to make a wisdom saving throw, DC 17. My wisdom is plus one, so i need a 16 or better no i fail on strength and dexterity not in wisdom i rolled a 14 which is a 15 so that fails yeah so that should do 2d 12 i rolled 2d 8 and rolled 16. I'm okay with just leaving it at that. Because that's... I mean, that's... Can you not... Well, I mean, no, no. I can re-roll it.

I rolled... You did 2d8, not 2d12? Right, because normally if the creature is undamaged, it takes 2d8. But if the creature has taken damage, it takes 2d12. He's gambling that he can't roll higher than 16 on 2d12. Let him roll 2d4 to make up. No, 2d12.

No, no, because it's different. Because I could roll,D4 to make up. No, 2D12. No, no. I could roll like two ones. He doesn't get to pick. Yeah. So you're going to stick with the 16? Yeah, I still feel like that's... Dance with the one you know. It's still more than half. Can we treat this like Lucky where he could roll 2D12?

Nah, I think I got to go one way or the other. I'll stick with the 16. Roll me 2D12. I just want to see what you would've got. Just for whatever. This is when the power goes out in the building. 19. Hey, you know... Chris' birthday was last week.

He was so excited. No, we're sticking with 16. Yeah. You know, campaign one, Gus would have been like, it's okay. I understand. Now he's like, no, no. I need to learn. I don't think so.

We got to have rules. I rolled two eights. So I was like, that's pretty good for. Yeah. Anyway, the Hemogoblin wipes the party. It was three HP away from dying. The end of Stinky Dragon. Is that it for you, Barney?

That is the end. Okay. That is the end. That is the end. Okay. That is the end. That is the end. All right, up next, we're back to the top with Mateed. Then after Mateed is Chip. Barney got the egg.

Hemogoblin is no longer stunned. At the end of your turn. So still stunned through your turn. You should do it again. You know what? I'm going to start agreeing with the comment section. Mateed's broken.

Yeah, so when you hit with a melee weapon attack, you can spend one key point to make the target stunned until the end of your next turn if it feels a constitution saving throw. C'est magnifique. Then I will use my bonus action to cast Arms of the Astral Self, and I can use my spectra arms to make unarmed strikes. But what does happen is that I get to do a little force damage

as the arms protrude out. When you cast Arms of the Astral Self, each creature of your choice that you see within 10 feet of you must succeed on a deck saving throw of DC 14 or take 2d6 force damage. And I believe I automatically failed deck saving throws because of the stun status effect.

That you do. All right. Ooh, that's a very good roll. 11. I'm going to damage that again. Force. All right. Since I'm up on it,

I will go ahead and continue to use the Spear of the Superior Baker, and I'll just hit it. That's a 15. I just love how you have that weapon. Roll it again just because you have advantage. I forgot about that. That's a 23. Yeah, you hit.

I rolled 10 magical damage. And, you know, let's just be fun. Let's make that a stunning strike again it really shows like the evolution of the group you know now we're facing them yeah i said i have because they've been stunning i've been able to use my new abilities so dc con 14 con 14 my dc is or my con is plus three so i need an 11 or better. Just stabbing this guy. Big ol' spear. 19. So I successfully made the save.

Okay, I'm gonna do another attack. Curses. Cause that's what I do. I'm gonna roll for advantage. That was a 23. That's a 24. That hits. That's 10 piercing damage. Ow. And that'll be it.

Thank you. Well, that was a ton of damage. The Hemogoblin is bloodied. What? Ha ha. Get it? Yeah, that's fair. What? Chip, you are up.

Then after Chip is Elga. Okie dokie. And the Hemogoblin is no longer stunned. Oh. You didn't want to just do it again, Mateet? I got to save some of my ki points. Nah. Mateet's still within five feet.

Yeah. Yeah, I'm still right there. Melee damage. Okay. So then I have sneak attack still. Would they be surprised if I'm coming out of hiding to attack them? Let me make a check to see if I'm able to see where you are. Good question.

Do I need to roll an opposing spell? You already rolled your sneak. You had a 20 on it? Yes. And I'm going to make my roll here. I thought I was writing it down. Look at you. Yeah, you are successfully hidden.

Cool. Then I'm going to use swing the arm blade of blurbling to add advantage. I'm going to roll that. So that's a 16. Do I have advantage? Yeah, because of the sneak.

Oh, right, right. 16. Yep, got it. Wee. I forgot he makes his own advantage. And then I think that this He's his own tief. And then I think that this... He's his own tiefling.

That's a three for the, I think, piercing. And then I also get 1d4 acid damage. That's an additional two. Plus I get 46. 46? For d6. Oh. Oh.

46. 46. That was really Gus going, stop, for sneak attack. That is... Oh, my God. Sweet boys. Nine. You pop out of hiding and take your attacks against the Hemogoblin using your arm blade of blurbling.

And you poke him in just the right spots to have him lose his shape and begin dissipating into the ground. How could I be defeated by such buffoons? This whole ploy was in vain. The tornado of blood collapses. I just imagine Chip just running steps on his face to just get to Carol. Doesn't listen, jumps over Lewis, runs straight to Carol.

Chip? Chip, are you there I do a baseball slide in I kind of like sorry kick out of the way and then just like catch Carol instead I think you're right you kind of get kicked out of the way Elga but Lewis you know also came out from the Gila Goblin behind you. Can I use my reaction? My tail reaction? Get back to Louis! And you kind of stumble backwards onto Louis. I kind of want Elga to oppose that, but we shouldn't.

Carol, my sweet wife! Though her clothes are soaked in blood, Carol is ghastly white. Her frail body gaunt with throbbing green veins. She looks up at you with a hollow face. Hey there. It's you. Chip.

Chip Haney. I said hey there. A weak smile comes across her face. You notice a sigil on her belt. Do I, or does Chip recognize the sigil? Why don't you roll a wisdom check? That's a 19, minus one, 18. With a roll that high, I'll tell you that you don't recognize the sigil? Why don't you roll a wisdom check? That's a 19, minus one, 18. With a roll that high, I'll tell you that you don't recognize the sigil, but because you don't recognize it, that's why it sticks out to you.

This is something older than the knowledge of clan sigils that you know. You found me. I'm so sorry for everything. Well, it's up to you now, honey. Find Sheath. Complete my mission. I... I love you, Chip.

Her feeble hand reaches up to touch your face, but it falls to the ground and her body exhales one final breath. Oh my gosh. Blaine, if you want to examine Carol and find out what happened, roll a medicine check on the next episode. Are you kidding me? No, she can't be. Barney, get a healing spell!

Stat! Let's roll a Revivify! Thank you so much? No, she can't be. Barney, get a healing spell! Stat! Let's roll a Revivify! Thank you so much for listening, everybody. It was an eventful Between the Tales. Yeah! I was in tears at the end of the last episode. I am also in tears at the end of this episode. Oh, no.

Are you crying, T-Pain? Yes! I'm in touch with my emotions. You're loud. That's very healthy. Thank you. All right, thanks for listening, everybody. Purple, purple.

Stinky. This episode is brought to you by our first members, who are pretty awesome. We got amazing little stinkers like Jin Collects, Orak13, Rose8, JuanPerson1, or RollForBackFlip916. They all directly support the show. And if you didn't know,

they get access to more content like Second Wind. They get to be on our subscriber-only Discord channels and attend our subscriber-only events and so much more. Again, you can find that all at stinkydragonpod.com. First, we can't thank you enough for your support that lets us make this very stinky show. Listeners who interact with us on social media and Discord,

they had NPCs named after them in this episode, like Charlie Graves, the weak-ankled dwarf. We got that from Gosh Golly Graves on Reddit. Additionally, Carol Haney is voiced by Laura Rothamal, at Laura Rothamal, and Hemogoblin, the blood elemental, is voiced by

Mikey Spandex, at Mikey Spandex 1992. The Stinky Dragon channel is managed by Ben Ernst. This episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon was produced by Kai Cook, written and edited and composed by Micah Reisinger, with additional editing work by David Saunier. Head on over to StinkyDragonPod.com

slash first for all things stinky. Tune in next time for another thrilling episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon. I missed the fact that we didn't get to do a coffee cocktail because today I had a coffee experience that was very cool. I went to HEB and I became an adult because I used the coffee bean mixer. The actual grinder?

Yeah, I've never done that. No, the mixer, apparently. But it was like, that's something I've always seen adults do. And I never, I was always afraid. It's a big, scary, loud machine. Big boy, B for blame, B for big boy. So I opened up a bag of beans,

felt so wrong, poured it in. I'm an adult now. You did it before you purchased it? Yeah, that's what you said. Gosh, poured it in. I'm an adult now. You did it before you purchased it? Yeah, that's what you said. Gus, you ruined it. I had him. I realized it as soon as I said it. Audience, you couldn't hear this, but if you could, you would have heard

Blaine's soul leaving his body.