Tales from the Stinky Dragon - Passé in Perrish - C02 - Ep 30 - Hollow Be Thy Name

Episode Date: January 9, 2024

The party discovers Luis's secret and the ruins of Sleepy Hollow! Support us at stinkydragonpod.com/first ! Join us on Discord: https://discord.gg/roosterteeth Check out our merch and follow us on Twitter, Instagram, TikTok and more: https://linktr.ee/TalesFromTheStinkyDragon Go to http://hellofresh.com/dragonfree and use code dragonfree to get one free breakfast item per box while subscription is active. Go to http://meundies.com/stinky to get 20% off and free shipping. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is a Rooster Teeth Production. Good evening, all you elder oblexes. Dribble yourself into the stinky dragon. Throw back our latest thirst quencher. Memory all alone in the ooze slime it's a mixture of copious copies of cold brew sulfurous syrup fire retardant foam salted brown psychic cookies memory milk topped with pistachio psionic sauce one pour of this percolation,

you'll finally find time to listen to that pseudo-podcast you've been meaning to check out. Previously, our adventurers were incarcerated in an ice dome with a familiar frost giant, thanks to some hags named Shivy and Skitch. After a bitter cold bout with the blizzardly behemoth, the party found their way to freedom, in part thanks to Shivy. She sent the party to the surface with

Frost Giant in tow, but now are hedged in by a horde of haglings. Cobble a cup of coffee, let's engage in our illamorous escapades. Hello everyone, I'm Gustavo Sorolla, the dungeon master of our future party. I'm gonna hit our four players with an arrow. No!

Da da da. I don't know what that was. This week's roleplay and warm-up question is what allergies does your character have? If none, what allergies would they pretend to have? We all know if you don't have allergies, you pretend to have them.

I have an allergy that will surprise no one. What? Well, hello, I'm Barbara Dunkelman. I play Elga von Brath, the half-elf vampire barbarian, as we all know and love. And Elga, she has severe allergy to garlic. Oh. I mean.

That's sad. I know. I cannot go to Italian restaurants because they pre-make their sauces at most places. Yeah. And so they can take it out. That's a real sad, sad state. Yeah. Oh, my God.

I know someone that actually has a real life garlic allergy. Yeah, me too. Now I'm questioning. I know we have a good friend who has an allergy to onions and garlic. Yeah. And we went out to dinner with them last night. And every time we go to dinner, they have to like explain to the waiter that they can't eat food. I'm sorry.

Wow, that sucks. That's sad. Yeah, that is a bummer. I know. No, I'm thinking about for my real friends. Hey, wait a minute. I'm real. You're Chip's work friend. Am I your work

daughter? Is that how it goes? You're okay. Then I'll just go ahead and go. Hi, I'm John Ressinger. I play Matty Confucius, who's the Eric Cochrane ghost monk. And as a ghost, I don't have any allergies. I don't actually even have to breathe. So it's not exactly a problem.

But when I was alive, I do recall an allergy I did have. Um, oddly enough, allergic to yeast. Oh, that is quite ironic. It was very odd, but once I, it's, it's, it's ironic that once I passed on and became a baker in my, in my afterlife, I really used it quite a lot. Wow. So it went away? I guess it did. Yes.

Just to pull back the curtain on reality. Didn't you have a gluten allergy that went away? I was told I had a gluten allergy. I don't even know how gluten allergies go away. But you had like medication for it, right? Yeah. Hi, I'm Chris Damaris and I play Barney Varney. So many bubbles in your throat on that one. How many allergies does Barney have?

Well, let me get out my notebook. Barney strikes me as like the guy that they went and did like the little exam and every little dot reacted. Oh, that was me when I was a kid. Oh yeah, you also have that allergy. That's not surprising at all. Well, there's

grass thistle and then obviously acorns. Obviously. And then I'm also allergic to asparagus. I just want you to know, Chris has a page up on his screen where he Googled list of allergies. Oh, Barbara, Barbara, you didn't need to tell me that. I know that's on his screen right now. I do like the setup now because we have accountability on Chris's laptop screen and the madness

that takes place over there. I just recall constantly seeing him looking up flowers in our last campaign. Dust mites. Dust mites. Dust mites. Dust mites will always get you. I can go on.

I think that's enough. We've learned a lot about Barney. Barney, do you carry a nappy pen on you? Do you know what a nappy pen is? I always carry a pen. So? Yeah. Okay, I wouldn't suggest sticking that into your upper thigh. But, you know, whatever works for you.

All right, let's get this show on the road. Coconut. I also forgot coconut. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Introduce yourself, you goon. Oh, hey, Blaine gibson i'm chip haney tiefling rogue six um rogue six standing by and uh i'm not answering this question i'm onto you dungeon mister i'm a professional assassin and if i were gonna kill, I'd find out what their allergy was. All right?

You're not going to boom flip this on me because, you know, you find a guy with a peanut allergy. You stuff a payday bar, an Almond Joy, Snickers. There's no peanuts in there. Is there not an Almond Joy? Maybe there are. What kind of nuts? It's almonds. It's almonds.

It's the almond word. I thought it was named after the Almond Brothers. Is that your favorite band? The Almond Brothers? No comment. I don't want to release too much information. But they're actually just like mimics that look like almonds and they're singing. My enemies can use this against me. But I will say that cheese does make me farty and bloaty from time to time.

Lactose intolerant. Don't worry. We know. Yeah, I get the toots. Yeah, when you sleep, you fart a lot in your sleep, Chip. That's right. Wait, why are you not sleeping? Because I maybe wake up in the middle of the night to go pee-pee.

Sometimes I find you up in trees. What are you doing up there? Testing thing. You're hanging upside down. It's just pee-pee. Your lactose intolerance is unfortunate, considering your accent there, Chip. I love Wisconsin cheese. The wizards up there in Wisconsin, they make the best cheese. The wizards of Wisconsin.

That's the ones. Before we dive into the episode here, just want to remind everyone, Stinkuary is going on right now. Very happy Stinkuary. Blurble gerbil, Stinkuary to you. Yeah. You can find more information where we're at on our social media accounts at StinkyDragonPod. And of course, you can head over to

StinkyDragonPod.com as well for further information about our first drive, our fun drive. You put the fun in funds. You heard it here first. This month is giving me so much anxiety because this is before we're actually in the midst of Stinkuary and I have no idea what's going to happen and I

I'm just bracing for no one loving us. Please love us. Become the first member to prove that Blaine is love. Just one. Just at least one of you. We're pre-taping this. It's mid-December as we're taping this so we're a little ahead. I'm going to be optimistic. Thank you so much. Wow.

Support has been, has blown me away. Overwhelming. How many? How many? Geez. So many. But anyway, if you're, if you'd like to support us, you can head over to stinkydragonpod.com slash first, or if you'd like to gift a membership, go to stinkydragonpod.com slash store. All the

information's there. We learned that Blaine doesn't know someone loves him unless a stranger gives him $6. That's the truth him unless a stranger gives him $6. That's the truth. I have to give him $6 every month just to prove my friendship to him. It's like a subscription to being friends with Blaine. I paid Blaine $6 to not be my friend. Wow.

And he's still your friend. I'll shake it out. I ran out of funds. No matter what the court order says. With a splash, bubbles of murky green water obscure the way for a moment, but then clears, revealing an underwater tunnel within the cluster of roots. A few moments of swimming and splash, the cold breeze of Parrish once again offers its chilly embrace, this time adding a sharp shiver thanks to damp clothes.

Poo-poo water. All around is the inside of a putrescent tree with blackened bark that stinks something foul. But a faint light glimmers from an exit to the south. A quick dash to the opening gives way to an unfamiliar village outside. A village of rotting and decayed hovels on every side. This must be Covenord. And before long, out from the hovels crawls little girls with matted hair and warts dressed in filthy rags. A few speak in whispers to each other, cocking their heads in curiosity. But as soon as they sniff the air, the throng of children scuttle along the ground straight for you like a horde of spiders. Chip starts kicking.

Oh, I'm kicking. I'm left and right. Get out of here, you varmints. Everyone go ahead and... Don't say roll for initiative. No, no, no, no, no. I'm going to give you guys a choice. You all can either roll perception or survival checks.

Up to you guys. Oh. Go ahead. I just kind of want to do survival because, you know, I don't feel like we get to do survival very often. Oh, it paid off. I got an 18 on perception. I'll go survival as well.

I did a 23 on survival. All right. 15. Nat 20. 25. So Chip sticks around to see what's up, and then everybody else runs away for survival. 18.

Everyone rolled really good. The worst roll was Mateed with a 15 on survival. That's not bad. Those are all really solid rolls. So, you know, this is a very disturbing scene with this, you know, all of these children scuttling at you in an unnatural movement. Scuttling. I picture like crabs, you know, scuttling.

Gus has never seen a child. That's how they move, right? Yeah, they scuttle. So, you know, you're very quick to gain your bearings and you know that heading south would be most likely a dead end because of the river okay blocking the way there so your best bet would probably be to head north towards the city's closest border walls and to start go trying to head there for uh for safety we're in a tree uh no you came out and you're like on solid ground.

So we popped out. You went into like tree roots, swam underwater a bit, popped out, and now you're on solid land. Okay, so we're at this village. Yeah. And so what you're describing is, so the direction towards Parrish is... North. North.

Correct. And we are being approached by a horde of little demon witch children. Who are scuttling towards us. Hey! I'm not a demon witch woman! What sound are they making? Uh... Now take that, Micah, and

duplicate it in different pitches. 50 times. Everyone go ahead and roll initiative. Come on! Don't make us fight these children. No, make us fight them. Finally, someone your size. 16.

Niff. 16. That's a nine for our non-French speaking. Eight for Elga. Parisian speaking. Two? Like plus two? Yeah, plus two.

Sorry, 15. What? 15. I think they rolled the same initiative. How do we roll off if we got the same thing? You don't, it's just your dex. Well, no, our dex. It's the same dex.

Oh. Twins! You both have the same dex? Mine's 15. Should we just have Chip go first because of Rogue? I just can't believe that the Cleric and the Rogue have the same dexterity. Let the fates decide. Does that mean the Cleric has really good dexterity or the Rogue has really bad dexterity?

A little calm A, a little calm B. It's the latter. No. Ichi, you roll a d20 since you're tied. Roll off. 15. Six. Alright, Barney goes first. Sorry. No, no, no. Elder's first. Go right ahead. I'll go first?

No, no. Oh, okay. So what are we doing? Alright, so we've kind of had encounters like this before where every round people are going to make skill checks to overcome obstacles placed before you as you try to escape this unnerving horde of children coming after you. Are some of the obstacles little girls? We'll see. Because that's going to be amazing.

This to me is always like the D&D version of the lava level of the Aladdin Nintendo game. Where it's just, there's a wall of something behind you that wants to kill you. Get to the right side of the screen. So everyone can you know when it's your turn to act that's what we rolled in this before

you can make a skill check to whatever you want to overcome the obstacle in front of you. It's really kind of free form whatever you want to do. And you'll let us know what we have available to us.

Yeah. It's just anything you want right? It's just pretty much whatever you want whatever kind of skill or yeah. Oh okay. I didn't know if it was like the... Is that what jazz is, Chris? Show me jazz again.

No one did jazz hands, which is like the go-to. That's so millennial, Gus. This is D&D jazz. It's got one Z and it looks like that. Jazz. Jazz. Le jazz. Did you know in Japanese it's jazz?

Fopper's been doing her Duolingo. I learned that last night. And Roku is rock. With sheer speed and quick thinking, Barney, you instinctively act first. You and the party are swiftly being surrounded by a horde of haglings on every side, except for the decaying tree behind you. What do you do? I think Chris had the same look at his face

that I had in my head, which was neither of those things you used to describe Barney described Barney. Sheer speed and quick thinking. This is an unusual situation. Maybe it triggers an old memory or something. And I do feel compelled to mention to everyone that if a party member wants,

they can try to help. You can only do it once during this... Per turn? Or just like this whole... In general. During the sequence. And then we'll have you make a roll as well. And, you know, whether it might be advantageous, it could also be disadvantage.

With that survival check, we determined that, what, west was the way? North. North. Was parish. Was parish, and that's where we're headed. And, and, and, how far away are they from us? They're closing fast. At this point, they're probably, let's say, 50 feet away. Is, Chris, really quick, is Parrish where we're heading?

Because I know that we were going to escort the person. The hands are cold. Yeah, but some dead. We're going to escort the person, but that's no longer a mission. But are we going back? They double crossed us. Right. Do we want to go to parish?

Well, we want to get away from these hagglings. We want to get away from the little ladies. Girls. As little girls? All the little ladies. All the little ladies. From all the little girls. Just to clarify, I've been trying not to correct people, but I feel like I'm going to get blamed

if people don't understand the correct geography here. So you all, you know, crossed this water crossing. Okay. This is what you came out from. In front of you is Covenort. If you remember, you were trying to cross this river previously from the south, and then you couldn't get through. The bridge. Correct.

So the nearest city wall is to the north. Going north doesn't take you to Parish, but it takes you to the city wall that you could ideally put between you and the Hagglers. Okay. So we want to go north. Yeah, it sounds like it. Yeah. I was just making sure. I didn't know if we had someplace else we needed to go. Yeah. I mean, if you want to have a moment of chaos, this is your moment.

That goes south! Alright, alright. I want to cast... I think it's skill checks. I don't know. Let's see what he says. I want to cast... I think it's skill checks. I don't know. Let's see what he says. I want to cast Incite Greed. What? When you cast a spell, you present a gem used as a material component and choose any number of creatures within range that can see you. Each target must succeed on a wisdom saving throw

or be charmed by you until the spell ends or until you or your companion is doing anything harmful to it. While charmed in this way, a creature can do nothing but use its movement to approach you in a safe manner. While an infected creature is within five feet of you,

it cannot move but simply stare greedily at the gem you present. At the end of each of its turns, the affected creature can make a wisdom saving throw if it succeeds in its... It ends.

I feel like he was about to say, I rest my case, Your Honor. And I rest my case. It's very... So can I... And I rest my case. What was the check? Wisdom? Wisdom of 17. But what about the material component? A gem. I have a gem. You're saying it wrong. I hate it. A gem worth

at least 50 gold pieces? At least 50 gold pieces. I think I also have one, too. I actually do. I have two. You don't need me to donate one. It's supposed to go to Carol, though. I got two bloodstones that are 100 gold pieces. But if anyone has a 50, I'll give you... I'll do. I have two. You don't need me to donate one. I'm supposed to go to Carol, though. I got two bloodstones that are 100 gold pieces. But if anyone has a 50, I'll give you... I'll trade. Well, you're not using it up, are you?

Is it a material component? Yeah. I'll just use by 100. How wise are these haglings? Sorry, I'm rereading the spell real fast. You don't have insight greed memorized? You know the classic D You don't have insight greed memorized? You know, the classic D&D spell, insight greed.

I just want to use it. I have gemstone that's worth 50 gold pieces, so I'll use that one. Greedy little girls. In my head, what Barney is doing is he's doing the monologue that What's-His-Face Sheen does in Wall Street. Just talking about how good greed is. So the range on the spell is 30 feet so you would have to wait a little while for them to close in a bit. Or Barney could run towards them.

I'm going to run north to the center of them. No, they're to the south of us. Yeah, they're to the south. And we want to run north. So we're essentially trying to outrun them. But it sounds like Barney wants to sacrifice himself in hopes of inciting greed amongst a bunch of little hackers. I guess so.

I guess so. I guess so. I will tell you a story, Barney. I guess I should have read more about the range of this spell. Chris not fully reading a spell? But I, that's what I do. Or listening to what's going on. I like this. I'm all for it. I, Barney. Stinker starts

biting at your pants, tugging at you, trying to keep you from running directly into danger. I pick up Stinker and say, no, no, let him. Let him cook. You move 20 feet then to get closer to them? I guess so, because I'm committing to this. Marnie, you're going the wrong direction. I love the indecision and the decisiveness. I guess so, because I'm committing to this.

He wants to commit. I appreciate it. All right, let me make some saving throws over here. So it's a DC 17 wisdom. Their wisdom saving throw is minus one. So I need 18 or better to make this. Making a bunch of saving throws. What's the time of day?

Oh, you just did a lot. You did 20. 240. He just rolled 20 dice. I mean, there are probably 20 little girls. That's what we now learned that. Like little spideys. Five of them safe. Okay, so I'm making a quick note. So about 15

are now enthralled by Barney. And so they should now be walking at a safe in a safe way to you. But then five are now still running like zombies from 28 days later. Whoever asked what time of day it is, I'm sorry. It's like, let's say, late afternoon, early evening. But yeah, so Barney, you raise your gem.

What kind of gem is it, by the way? It's a gem worth 50 gold piece. What kind of gem do you want it to be? I want it to be a purple one. Amethyst. I was going to ask him to name a purple gem. I'm here to help my friend, okay? That's what I'm here to do.

He's been a team player. I'm deleting it from my... I'm here to help my friend get murdered by the remaining five Haglings who are not... I just love the word Hagling. Let it be known I'm deleting the gem from my inventory. Okay, you're deleting it. So you hold up... I saw your inventory recently.

Let me see if I can help you. What kind of gem was it again chris tell me an amethyst okay you hold up uh an amethyst 50 gold pieces uh he'd never heard of an amethyst before today he said that with mild confidence i'll let you say i'll let you know uh you hold up an amethyst worth 50 gold pieces into the air and uh it's almost like hypnotic to most of the Haglings. You know, they begin staring at it wide-eyed in wonder. So you're basically like Dr. Grant in Jurassic Park with the flares. Yeah. You just throw it into the woods.

Nope. He's got to hold on to it. I got to hold on to it. So I got that in one hand. So now we have a Girl Scout troop chasing after us. They might not be chasing, but they're definitely following us. Well, there's 15 that are following and five that are definitely still chasing. At chase.

Give chase. So all we got to do is take care of five haglings. Yeah. Yeah. I'll punch five little girls. And only five, right? Is this dim light? Are we in dim light?

He wants to float. Let him know if he can float or not. It's late afternoon, early evening. Sure. We all float down here. It's dim light? He wants to float. Let him know if he can float or not. It's late afternoon, early evening. Sure. We all float down here. It's dim light. So now I use the remainder of my movement to float back 10 feet up into the air towards the party.

Via, what is it? Twilight? Steps of night. Steps of night. As a bonus action. When you're in dim light or darkness, you can magically give yourself a flying speed equal to your walking speed for one minute. I like this.

This is good. I'm flying. This is good. I'm flying. Yeah. Floating. Let me ask you a question. Do you still have to be holding this gem up the entire time? I think so. Yeah, because then when they come close, they have to be within, they stay five feet away.

Yeah, they can only, they stop within five feet, but they follow me. It's just Barney going, ah. What's the duration of it? With a gem in his hand. I think it's 10 minutes. How long can you hold a gemstone for that long? You're very old. Roll for strength.

He just puts it in his mouth. I like how Chris just makes stuff up. It's concentration up to one minute. Yeah, where'd you get 10? Where'd you get 10? I added a zero. I need some rough math. So, you know,

with all of this happening around you, you know, what kind of skill check would you want to do to try to evade the five remaining hacklings? So what's that, acrobatics? Yeah, okay. Make us an acrobatics check. Which one's the more strength-oriented one?

That would be athletics. Athletics is strength. That's a 10. Are you sure it's not a 1 and you added a 0 to it? Are you sure it's not a 100? You're very focused on trying to maintain the situation, trying to exert your control over the 15 haglings that you are able to affect with greed.

But the other five just close ground quicker than you're expecting as you're taking to the air. And a few of them manage to lash out at you doing a little bit of damage. Wow. How much? Let's see. I mean, it's going to be, you know, 25% of what would have happened if all of them had succeeded. Yeah, you take 12 points of claw damage.

Oh, I was imagining haggling damage would be them just kicking him in the shins, you know, like a little girl to an old man. They're like reaching up to a floating man and they're like scraping his feet and ankles. That's horrifying. Yeah, you know, as you're floating away there, yeah, like John thing and they're like scraping his feet and ankles. That's horrifying. Yeah. You know, as you're floating away there.

Yeah. Like John said, they're scraping at your shins and your ankles and just trying to claw you down. They're trying to grapple you and pull you to the ground. But you manage to float away before they're able to pull you down to their level. We're going to need to get some, you know, antibiotics on those scratch marks. Those little girls, they're boogers all over their fingernails. That's dirty. That's gross, Barney.

That's ageist. For you to assume little girls have boogers in their fingernails. She says that she's picking her nose. I have a question. Yeah.

Now, this spell, they're interested in this jewel. If I was to throw it, would they chase the jewel or would they stay? I think you need

to be holding it. I think, let me reread it. That's what I was, contact continues to imbue it with magic. Yeah. Yeah, you probably have be holding it. I think, let me reread it. That's what I was, contact continues to imbue it with magic. Come and get it. Yeah. Yeah, you probably have to hold it.

Anyway, that's what I did. I feel like at this point, now because you have that, they have to follow us. So it's like, even if we lost them, they'd still be following. For the next minute. Yeah, you got 60 seconds.

That's like 10 turns. You know, the hagglings seem to be somewhat distracted and split up at this point. And so if just for a moment, a gap opens up amongst the horde. It's pretty narrow, but there seem to be additional haglings that are joining in,

taking to the rooftops, waiting to pounce on you. All screaming about Taylor Swift. Chip, what do you want to do? Is there any sort with Barney's weird greed thing? Is there any visual component where if they break eye contact with that thing, then it loses its effect? Or is it more of like a...

If they get hit, then... Like, don't attack the ones. I don't intend to. It doesn't say anything that they need to maintain line of sight with it, but I would say if you break their line of sight, they would probably not be happy and would try to restore maintain line of sight with it. But I would say if you break their line of sight, they would probably not be happy and would try to restore their line of sight based on the spirit of the spell.

So I have darkness, which would basically just, I was going to cast it like amongst the little girls and hopefully that buys us some time. That's good. They lose sight of us for a bit. I think that's a good one. Okay. Well, then I'm going to do that.

I'm going to use darkness. Because how big is that? Magical darkness spreads from a point you choose within range to fill a 15-foot radius sphere for the duration. Darkness spreads around corners. A creature with dark vision can't see through this darkness and non-magical light can't illuminate it. Oh, so cast it on him.

Well, it says if the point you choose is an object you are holding or one that isn't being worn or carried, the darkness emanates from that object and moves with it. That doesn't necessarily mean I could cast it on one of those dumb little girls and then she's bringing darkness with her, right? That'd be pretty grim looking. She's just like, ah! We wouldn't see nothing.

Cast it? I don't see any reason it couldn't be. There's nothing that explicitly says it has to be an inanimate object. But just to remind you, you know, it is darkness and everyone would be obscured by it. Not everyone. What do you mean? You mean like we wouldn't be able to see? You wouldn't be able to see through it.

I can see through it. What if you have dark vision? You can see through magical darkness? Yep. Oh, wait. It says a creature with dark vision can't see through this darkness unless you have... And non-magic can't illumin through it. What if you have dark vision? You can see through magical darkness? Yep. Oh, wait. It says a creature with dark vision can't see through this darkness unless you have...

And non-magic can't illuminate it. So do you have some sort of special... Oh, non-magic can't... What is the thing? I thought I had something that made me be able to see through like stuff like that now. I love how Mateed is just the player version

of Nobutt in improv. Mm. No, I... Well, no, because like you have flying, so you could just like piece out of everything. But I want to help. I want a yes and and help. Go through walls.

Yes, cast darkness and... And I could see through it. I'll go get the cleric. Yes, this is a creature Darkvision can't see through. No, not Darkvision. Matide has an ability called Astral Sight. Yeah, that's what it was. Which means you can see normally in darkness,

both magical and non-magical to a distance of 120 feet. But they have to cross their eyes in order for it to work, though. That's what I understand. Yeah, and John has to do it in real life for attention. It's for concentration. So, yeah. So, just, like, that's just a heads up that only Mateo would be able to see through this. Okay.

This is good. Do it, and I'll go get the cleric. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Chipmunk strikes again. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Chipmunk strikes again. Yeah. Back at it. And did we determine if I could cast it on, like, one of the people? Yeah. Why not?

Okay. I got to cast darkness on the wardiest of the little girls. The one with the most wards. Yeah, and this is one of the ones who has been enthralled. What do you say? Wardiest? Like, with a D? Wardiest?

And I'm like, do they have wards? So, just to say, so so at this point in my mind, there's three different distinct groups of haglings. Yes. They're the ones who are affected by greed, the ones unaffected by greed from that group, and then there are the ones who are now appearing on rooftops as well, ready to pounce on you. Those are horrifying. So where are you targeting this?

Like which group? Probably the ones that aren't affected by Barney's weird little gemstone, that are still pursuing us. Because they're the most current threat. The ones that attacked him? Yes. Yeah, and also theoretically the ones that are on the rooftops and all that stuff, that hopefully this provides some sort of a barrier.

All right. So it's like a reverse flashbang. You pick the wardiest of those five and cast darkness on them. I'm going to pick the ugliest, wardiest, weirdest looking little one. That one right there. Magical darkness sprouts forth, obscuring a 30 foot diameter, 15 foot radius sphere from there. Ah, my eyes. Oh, yeah.

Barney's in there, too. Oh, what's your flight speed, Barney? My flight speed? Yeah. It's the same as your walking? It's the same as my walking speed. So you move 20 up, how much movement would you have had left to fly away? 10. Oh. Okay, so you are in the darkness. Yes. Okay. Follow my voice, Barney!

Oh! Oh! I'm afraid. Is there any Any kind of skill check you want to make To assist Barney or to try to Distract or fend off the haglings on the roof That was the parameter that Gus

Set for this whole thing was like do something We'll do a skill check he does a spell He does a spell I'll pick up A pebble off the ground and throw it at Barney's Last known location so that he knows which direction to go to. Okay. Make like a range.

No, no. We want a skill check. Make a, we'll call this a acrobatics check. You're trying to hit this. Oh, I like acrobatics. Here we go. That's a four. Four!

It makes sense. Nice. You throw the rock into the darkness where you're pretty sure Barney is. And the rock goes in and is just swallowed up by the darkness. And you don't hear it hitting anything. All right, gang, let's skedaddle. We'll say it's kind of demoralizing that you didn't hit Barney, despite the fact you were positive where he was.

So we're going to say you have disadvantage on your next skill check. That's not very fair, Dungeon Mister. What did I do wrong? Bad roll, just so. Hey, little stinkers. January is a super important month for us and you, the viewers. It's Stinkuary.

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So, Mateed, two of your compatriots have, you know, thrown their hats into the ring, approached this conundrum in very different ways. Time is running short. You know, the Haggis on the roof start figuring out what you guys are up to and they start trying to form a blockade between you and the wall. It's up to you to try to pave the way. What do you do?

Okay. First, Mateed will, in fact, cast Visage of the Astral Self, which is a bonus action, which does give me Astral Sight so I can see everything through the darkness. With your special eyes.

And so how far is if Barney, how far did he run towards him? He ran 20 feet towards him but then he flew 10 feet back at a diagonal so he's 10 squared plus 20 squared away from you. Oh, the square root of 10 squared plus 10 squared? We were here.

He went this way and then this way. A is 20. B is 10. Find C. Wait, A is 20. B is 10. So 20 squared. Hold on.

I know this. I don't want to do math right now. I want someone else to do it for me. Would it not just be 10 feet away from it? I'm not doing math. Well, roughly. So he went 20, came back'm not sure. Well, roughly. So he's, he's, he went 20, came back around.

What? Wait, 10, wait, 10, wait, no, I did that wrong. Wait, what? Do you know how triangles work? No, I don't, Gus. I'm not a triangle expert. Hold on, no, I know this. He never studied triangles. You know the hypotenuse, the shortest leg of a right triangle. I commend this man's honesty.

He said, no, I don't know how triangles work Okay That's hard to say what's the square root of 500 dang it. No, I don't want to get my credit card What's the square root of 500 if you just type in a Google Pythagorean theorem it shows you a calculator It's 22.3606 uh uh feet you're welcome so barney is at a diagonal 22 feet away from you uh up in the air matide that math checks out oh guys matide's gone matide's gone where'd they go i think matide's ghosting you guys matide entered the ethereal plane and just went straight into the ground as far as their flight can go.

No, Mateed goes and grabs the little balloon that is Barney. So 22 feet that way. And then grabs Barney and flies the remainder of their 65 flying speed. So that's what? 43? Yeah. 43 feet back. So then's what? 43 feet back. So then it would be 20 feet

back to your party, so then 23 feet further away. Yeah. And it's just just like dragging Barney behind and flying as fast as possible that direction. Would you look the same when you cast Astral Self or whatever? No.

Visage of the astral self does give me some sort of imagery. Crossed eyes. We've established this. Oh my goodness. Did I die? Are you an angel? Well, one of those things is true, yeah, you know. I saw a black, everything went black, and all of a sudden

a glowing, like, winged creature is carrying me away. Yeah. While you're holding your glowing amethyst. But it's yelling at you in French. Parisian. Parisian.

The spectral visage covers your face like a helmet or mask. What's fun is that this can be cast with arms of the astral self. So I think that's even cooler where I have, because in my image when Matit does that, it's a bunch of wings and they're glowing and then I have a helmet that's glowing. So yeah. I think

Barney's like, did I? Oh my goodness. A little seraphim. Matit says, be not afraid! Be not afraid! Let's go this way! And I grab him and I'm an angel of death. I'll let you make the choice here, whether you think that's more of like an acrobatics or a strength check, to grab Barney and then fly away in the other direction.

I would like to... He is full of chain mail. I would like to do an acrobatics check. All right. Just to round it off, three acrobatic checks in your little game of doing checks. That's a 24. Oh, finally someone passes it. So, you know, you dive in there, grab Barney,

and pull him away, like we said, another 20, 25 feet beyond where the party was. Oh. Closer to the wall. And I yell at Barney, drop the gem! What? Why? Because we're trying to get away from these little girls, and you literally have something that is attracting them.

So it drops again. But it's making 15 of them. No, but they will still follow. That's what they do. They're going to keep following. But they're going to follow us anyway. I know, so don't make it so that they follow us no matter what. You gave the enemy a homing beacon.

Yes, it is a glowing purple beacon. They gave him a homing beacon. Yes. It is a glowing purple beacon. They gave him a homing beacon? No. But they're nice now. You're standing right next to me. What are you doing, Elgin? Can I do another check where I kick the gem out of his hand? Yeah, you make like an unarmed strike to try to knock it out of his hand.

Yes, I'm going to do that. You just want it for yourself. Oh, no, the inside greed is affecting Barney! I rolled a 26 on attack. Yeah, we would say that would hit. Barney, make a dexterity saving throw to see if you're able to hold on to the gem as Mateed tries to swat it out of your hands.

Come on, Barney, you can do it. Stop it! Come on, Barney. I just like inter-party conflict. 19! I would say, yeah, because you hit it, but he makes a dexterity save to try to hold you hit it, but he makes a dex save to try to hold on to it, and that is

a really good save. He's able to hold on to the gem and keep it in his hand. Stinker starts running around, growling at Mateed, because from his perspective, he thinks Mateed's trying to hurt Barney. Did the attack was my action? Yes.

Okay, I can attack him again. Yeah, go for it. Try to strike the gem. We're doing this. I have two attacks. 16. Yeah, we'll say that hits the gem. Barney, make a save to hold onto the gem again. The angel just keeps trying to steal the gem

out of your hand. It's just a bird going That's a 22. He was ready for it or something. Barney used his old man reflexes. He's like, no, no! I'm going to feed these haglings a Barney.

I like that you are dangling him. And at this point, they've had enough time to probably group up and they're all just going, ah, ha, ha. Okay, I will admit, I don't think this was the best strategy. All right? But he committed to it. He said he was committing. I hate it. This is why I like going

first. All right. That's my turn. Well, Elga, for better or worse, this is where we're at. It's up to you now to try to help the party up and over the towering wall that you all have drawn close to. How close are they to this wall now, and how tall is the wall?

We'll say you're pretty close to the wall. These are the city walls of Parish, so they're really tall. I believe the first time you all came up to the walls, I said they were 100 feet tall. 60 feet tall. Was it 60? Okay, so really tall. Are there any ropes or anything hanging down that we could see? Make me a perception check. I think I

only remember that because she cast her climb thing. And it was just more than it, right? It was more than her walking speed, which is what her climbing speed becomes. It's only an 11. Well, you found a bucket of long, sticky nails. The finger kind, not the metal kind. Ew! Yucky! Okay. Oh.

It took me a while to think of. Yes, we all heard the gap. Elga, maybe you could broker a peace. You know, you speak their language. Creepy little girl. You could talk to them. I can't hear you, Chip. We're right next to each other.

I can't hear you. It's so dark in here. I'm standing right here. I'm looking right at you. Do I have rope? I do have rope. It's 50 feet. Okay. I want standing right here. I'm looking right at you. Do I have rope? I do have rope. It's 50 feet. Okay. I want

to run towards the wall. Okay. So I don't know if that would be a check of any sort. Let's see where this goes. Just tell me everything you want to do. We'll figure it out. I would like to run up the wall with my climbing and throw 50 feet of rope down the wall

for my party to grab. Okay, I'll tell you what. Why don't we tag team this then? Okay. If you want, you can start running to the wall. And I don't know if you remember, Louis is with you. Louis can give you a boost. Why is Louis okay with us?

Remind me. Shivey instructed Louis to come with you. Oh, Louis was a nice guy. He's giant. I couldn't remember why he was aiding us. He could cradle his hands and you could like step into it and he could like toss you up or like give you a boost to get up on top of the wall.

Sure, I'll let him do that just to make him feel useful because you know I could do it by myself. It's a little longer than your climb, isn't it? Oh, yeah. 50 feet, yeah. Yeah, that's why I was suggesting it, just to give you that extra little bit of distance you need. He is a giving god.

Yes, I will go 50 feet up the wall and drop my rope. Okay, so in that case, again, let's just round it out. Make an acrobatics check. All right. To see if you're able to stick the landing. That's a... I have a critical failed. For a six with my plus five.

That's a one. I don't have any inspiration die so I don't think I could do anything about that just shoves Elga into the wall he tries to boost you up but instead boosts you horizontally straight face first into the wall we are nailing this

like a bucket well could I yeah we'll say that, you know, Lewis initially redirects your energy the wrong way into the wall and you take seven points of bludgeoning damage from hitting the wall. Jesus Christ.

But he feels bad about it. So he picks you up, you know, by the scruff and then tosses you up to the top of the wall. To the top of the wall. Yeah. Okay. Now dash away. And then I don't know if I'll be able to do this just based on physics

but could i somehow tie some rope to my axe and like yeah throw the axe kind of midway point on the wall so that they have some stuff to climb up to that's cool that's cool so down yeah because i'm at the top of the wall so yeah you you could almost use the rope to swing the axe down, embed it in the wall, and then toss the rope. And then toss the rope. I also have... Beyond from that. The axe of the scarab also acts as a...

What's it called? Boomerang as well. Oh, you can recall it, right? Yeah. Oh, that's cool. So I will try to do that. Yeah, just make a... Is there like a...

Athletics? No, like a throwing attack roll you can make for that oh I mean I have I have unarmed strike well action scarab is a thrown weapon as well so you just just did

hit DC yeah just yeah just do that yes 25 yeah so you're able to like attach it to the rope and then toss it down to the wall make it stick and then you know have the rope go

down okay okay all right your turn stop attach it to the rope, and then toss it down to the wall. Cool. Make it stick and then, you know, have the rope go down. Okay. Okay. All right, your turn. Stop fighting each other now and kicking gems. Just climb up the wall, please. Well, now Gus has to roll individually for 47 little girls. Yeah, so, you know, you all begin closing the distance on the wall, and as you're getting close, you know,

Louis continues helping you, tossing you up to the rope, which Elga has put down to help you on the wall. And as you're getting close, you know, Louis continues helping you, tossing you up to the rope, which Elga has put down to help you climb the wall. All the while, you know, using one arm to help you and the other arm to knock away any hagglings

as they get close. Does Louis sacrifice himself? Does he start yelling, hold the door? Oh my God. Then, you know, after the four of you are safe at the top of the wall,

Louis clambers up and pulls himself up safe at the top of the wall, Louis clambers up and pulls himself up alongside with you atop the wall. And the sheer exertion of the combat and this escape forces Louis to fall unconscious. On top of the wall? Yeah. He's safe. Could I check on him? Yeah, you can make a medicine check.

Louis, please don't be dead. 16. Oh, yeah. It looks like he's exhausted and hurt. You don't think it's enough to, you know, mortally wound him, but perhaps he's just in need of a little bit of recovery time. Chip puts his hand on his forehead and says,

oh, he's ice cold. Definitely not running a fever. Oh, you actually, Chip, you pull your hand out, you know, to touch Lewis to see his temperature. Can I die? And, yeah, your entire arm freezes off. Oh, you actually, Chip, you pull your hand out, you know, to touch Louis to see his temperature. And I die? And yeah, your entire arm freezes off. Oh my God.

I'll get a new metal one. You notice that the Hag Eye that was given to you begins to glow. It's like glowing with a green light. Okay. And then suddenly, you know, it gives a blinding flash of light and, you know, kind of blinds everyone very temporarily. Everyone, jeez, everyone make an arcana check. I thought the Hag Eye was a communication device. Seven, nine. Yes, asterisk.

Fourteen. It's like a drone. I think we established it was like the Rainbow Six Siege drone. Fifteen. Barney and Chip, you get vague glimpses of cobwebs and dilapidated wooden floors. Okay, I'm confused now what the heck I is. Elga, you

receive a vision of vignetted depictions of pencils, desks, and a chalkboard. Oh no, I'm back in school. Did you study for your test? Uh, no. Mateed, you have a vision of a close-up visual

of a tall, lanky, scarecrow-shaped individual with a blazing jack-o'-lantern for a head. Are these all, like, our nightmares? Yeah, I thought the Hagai was, like, I throw it out and then I can, like, connect with it telepathically to see. Is it casting us visions, like, or is it connected to other eyeballs? Are we seeing through other Hagais? Are we seeing this all guys? Are we seeing

this all in our head? Yeah. Make an arcana check, Chip. Essex. Yeah, you've never dealt with one of these before. I bang it a couple times. Can I do another arcana check? No. The blinding vision dissipates and everyone's eyesight returns. You

appear to be at a junction of an icy dirt road that splits off to the north, east, and west. You all look behind you and Louis the Hulking Frost Giant has vanished. Instead, in his place is a wizened but handsome man with pale skin and salt-and-pepper hair. He's wearing a ripped and bloodied woolen gray coat holding a tattered cane. Is this the... The Alchemist? The Alchemist? with pale skin and salt and pepper hair. He's wearing a ripped and bloodied woolen gray coat,

holding a tattered cane. Is this the... The Alchemist? The Alchemist? I... I know where that is. I've seen that classroom before. It's not far from me. Just...

Just down that eastern road. You thought to? Wait, don't bump the brakes here, Alchemist. I realize you all must have a slew of questions for me, but time is of the essence. Oh, my gosh. If someone could please help me up, I can lead you to the Headless Horseman.

I'll help you up. Can I help him up? Yeah. I feel like half the dialogue with the alchemist is him telling me to shut up because there's no time. It's just, it takes five seconds. You can give me the spark notes there, bud. Barney leans over and helps the alchemist up, and the alchemist begins hobbling toward the east, leaning heavily on his cane.

He's always running. He's always going. I promise, Chip. Once we arrive, I'll have time to explain everything. Just tell me on the wayway, don't you? It's right over here. I can see it. Okay, let's go. Thank you, Oga. You're welcome, teacher. I appreciate the enthusiasm.

It's inspiring. I am all too enthused. You should give yourself an inspiration die for being a team player. Do you want to use my walker? He's not an inspiration dice gachapon. Okay, I think that's already happened. After but five minutes, the road veers off to the left into a small valley banked by frosted trees. Five minutes of complete silence where we don't talk about anything. He's catching his breath!

He just saved you! A weathered wooden sign dangles overhead from a slanted post. It reads, Crew Under Me. This is the place. Where, you tell us? Sleepy. And with a thud, the alchemist slumps to the ground,

his eyes slowly drooping. Could I put him on my shoulder? Yeah, but before you do that, he's mumbling a little bit, like almost in his sleep, maybe. It's this curse. I can... His head leans against the crooked post and his eyes shut. Curse? It's like Lewis.

His like. Is it like Jekyll and Hyde? Well, yeah. Oh, maybe. Yeah. I thought for maybe they were like swapped with each other. You know. Hey, is Alchemist's real name?

It was. I know this. Robert? No, that was his son, wasn't it? Henry is his son. I think Robert was his name. Robert and Lewis. I'm trying to see if there's any play on words.

What is that? You know that purple liquid that made you dream? You see people's dreams? Yeah, NyQuil. Are you talking about from the first campaign? No, it was this campaign. There was some purple liquid in a cave. Oh, oh, yeah. It was in like where some purple liquid in a cave. Oh, oh.

Yeah, it was in like where y'all found the dragon. Yeah, yeah. And it showed you, what, people's desires, right? Or what did it make? It showed you their dreams, visually, right? You get into the fact that you bottled some up? Yeah. Purple drink? Yeah, well, what about it? Are you asking a question?

It made you see their dreams, right? Yeah, yeah, what about it? Are you asking a question? It made you see their dreams, right? Yeah, yeah. Let's give him this and we'll see what he's dreaming about. Ah. If you give him the drink. We'll see what he's dreaming. Yeah, that's how it works, right?

Correct? You have no idea why you're asking me. All right, I do it. I give him some purple dream. Some purple. Some purple dreams. Some purple drink. Are you from Houston?

You uncork the bottle that you had saved from your time with the dragon. Yeah. And you open up the alchemist's mouth and pour it in. Let's see what he's got. In his head, the alchemist drowns. Everyone make an arcana check. Everyone? Yeah.

Are we really doing this? Are we getting to see this? I'm 10. 21. I'm going to see how far before he... 18. Snatches the rug from below us. Six.

You know, you see his dreams, like, begin to coagulate and form into a vision you're able to see. And you see, you know, visions of the alchemist's wife and his son sitting at home. Francesca? Yeah. Francesca, that's the one. And Henry? Yep. And they're just...

They're sitting at a dinner table, all laughing. Without him? Well, it's POV. It's a dream. What was the joke? What were we laughing at? They're just having a good time. It's hard to make out. Everyone was laughing when the dream started. Well, I thought this movie would be more exciting. Yeah. I think we came in midway through.

We're outside of the school. Correct. The place he claims is the school, right? Right, right. The school that we all saw in our vision brought on by the Haggai. I think it was just in my vision, no? Well, yeah. I mean, yours was the most coalesced version.

So, uh, you're by... Oh, no, mine was the most coalesced. I saw the scarecrow. You're not actually outside of a school. You're, remember, you're by a, like, a slanted post with a wooden sign on it. And it said, what on it? Cru Andormi. Cru Andormi? Since we're looking at it, can you

spell that? You know what it means. Yeah. Sleepy Hollow. Okay. Oh, dormi. What? I don't get it. Oh, yeah. Describe the building we're in front of. Is it like a house? So this was just a wooden signpost, but

you can look down the road here and you see there's a handful of quaint buildings made of stonework covered in snow. A lot of the structures have fallen to ruin, and the whole place is probably somewhat abandoned, it looks like. And it seems like over time, these former homes and businesses have either been looted or just lost due to the elements. Okay.

I say we should get the alchemist and add to this building. As a volunteer firefighter. Farmer, farmer. Whatever. I know the proper way of carrying a limp human body. Also from my days as an assassin, you gotta dispose of the bodies. So I thrust them over my

shoulders and I carry them in the firefighter's carry. Alright. Okay, I offered but never mind. I know, I do recall that. Make a strength check chip. Yeah, it was like, I'll just set that. Yeah, I offered, but never mind. No, I do recall that. Make a strength check chip. Yeah, it was like, I'll just set that. Yeah, roll off to see who gets to carry the body. Everyone wants my gem!

Let's fight over his body! Oh, yeah, can I kick that gem? I think it goes away after a minute. Okay, we passed a minute. Because five minutes it took to get to the... Yeah, yeah. I also realized my gem didn't go away. It didn't get consumed. It doesn't get consumed? No.

It only gets consumed if it says, if it gets consumed. And it didn't get consumed, so I keep mentioning it. I think using it to activate the thing consumes it. Nah. I looked up. Nah. Was that a complete sentence? Nah, I looked up. According to Chris? Yes. Very true. I rolled a 14 on strength

by the way. Yeah, you're able to pick him up and toss him over your shoulders. It'd be a shame if I bonked his head on something for not talking to us. Everyone make a perception check. I perceive the alchemist has crappy dreams. 18. Seven. I'm snooze fast, am I right? Six.

Barney's just jealous because the alchemist remembers his family. Burn. Burn. Oh, that burn. Cut deep. 15. Let me know if you need

any healing potions for that burn, Barney. Mateed and Barney, you both hear what appears to be or what you think is like the sound

of a horse whinnying in the distance around a corner. What's that sound like? Probably. Exploded. There's a horse in the distance towards the building or behind us?

Yeah, in the midst of the buildings. And what you described that I saw with the Hag Eye was a scarecrow-like creature with a jack-o'-lantern for a head. Correct. A blazing jack-o'-lantern for a head. Where was that? I just want to point out. That was in my vision. Or my perception check of the Hag Eye.

What you got, Barbara? This place is called Sleepy Hollow. Yes. Alchemist is falling asleep. We might fall asleep. I think he's asleep because of the ordeal The exhaustion Not that this place is called Sleepy Hollow I mean that's a possibility I'm just going off of a logical projection

Of like he collapsed Maybe this is where dreams are made Yeah This is a really sad dream place Can I do an arcana check to see if Sleepy Hollow Is aptly named? What are you checking for? Just see if... There's like a sleep spell on it or something?

Yeah, if he has like... I would call that a history check. Okay, well, yeah. Okay, yeah, I'll do a history check. Do you want me to? Yeah. History modifier. Plus one. Twenty. Nice. Oh, okay. Everyone make a constitution saving throw. No. Oh my gosh. Even make a constitution saving throw. No.

Oh, my gosh. Even the person who figured it out? Yeah. 11. 11. 22. 14. But if I fail, I have a backup.

No, you all aren't tired. You don't think that it's necessarily connected. Okay. Okay. Okay. He's playing checks on us. Do I think it's connected with the 22? No, no, no.

You think it's just a coincidence. You feel very fine. You don't feel tired at all. I'm going to pull out my Spear of the Superior Baker and approach towards the sound of the horse. You walk down a little bit into these dilapidated buildings in the midst of this ghost town, I guess. these dilapidated buildings in the midst of this ghost town, I guess. And the horse is tied up outside of a stone building

leaning against a leafless tree. And it's strewn with frostbitten ivy. The foliage partially covers a wooden sign overhead. And you're going to make me read French, aren't you? Do you want to send it to me? My dude. Do you want to send it to me and I'll read it? Yeah, we can pitch John Barber's voice to make it sound like yours, Gus.

Yeah. So read it in your best Gus impression. Good. And you look at the, you know, you move some of the ivy aside to uncover the sign and the sign reads. Ecole endormie. School of sleep, probably. Sleep school. Do I, I feel like Blaine should be asking this, but do I recognize this horse?

Oh, yeah. You don't want your horse girl to inspect it and figure it out? I just feel like I'm sitting next to the horse girl. So, but... Beautiful mane on that one. Can I see if I recognize this horse? Yeah, make a wisdom check. What's a horse check?

That's 15. Yeah, you recognize this as being the headless horseman's mare. And if I can ask one more question, the scarecrow-like creature with the jack-o'-lantern for a head that I saw, is that the horseman?

Very possibly. Do I recognize that pumpkin? Very, very likely. Very well could be. Do you think he's teaching at the sleeping school? But this is all dilapidated, right? Yes. And like, is there a door? Yeah, there is a door that is closed.

Is the frostbitten ivy, is this in a cold temperate zone? All of Parrish has been that. Yeah. Frostbitten? It's very cold. So is it like winter or is this an unnatural cold? Like a chill down your spine when a ghost passes by. More like is like.

Okay. Okay. I was just seeing like if this is unusual for this time. No. He's been describing Parrish that way from the beginning. Okay. And I'm still wearing shorts. I wonder why they need school to teach you how to sleep here.

I don't know. Is there a door in front of us? Yeah, there is a front door that is closed. I kick the door open. Why don't we just turn the handle and... Somewhere someone told me to kick it open. Make an athletics check. 15.

That's what you needed. Yeah. You kick the door and, you know, it resists a bit, but it slams open really loudly, shaking the building a bit and disturbing the ivy, knocking off some of the snow and the frost from it. I bring my, like, since I'm very flexible, I bring my leg to my face and I blow it like a gun. Y'all want to go see the gun show?

Yeah, right here. Right here. I think Trinity does that in The Matrix. They kick someone and then gun show? Yeah, right, yeah. Right, yeah. I think Trinity does that in the Matrix. They kick someone and then they just, like, wind it. Yeah, yeah, just wind it. Yeah, that's what I do. What scene was that? Yeah. I think he kicks the agent.

No, Keanu does it. Oh, yeah, it's Keanu. And he, like, does this unnecessary flourish with his leg. Oh, fully necessary, my dude. Yeah, sure. What, do we see anything inside? Yeah, it appears to be a classroom that's overrun with frost and ivy.

There's two rows of desks. Most of them are toppled, some wooden shelves. Do they look like the desk we saw in the dream or vision? Make a wisdom check. Hey, make an educated guess. Mine was genuine, Blade. Yeah, I know. You can tell when you wake up, Chris.

No, this doesn't look familiar to you, Elga. But in addition to the desks, there's also a large table and a chalkboard on the north end of the room, which is the back of the room, on the opposite from where you are. And can we try to see what it says on the blackboard, if anything, the chalkboard? Do you want to walk up to it, or do you want to try to read it from where you are. And can we try to see what it says on the blackboard, if anything, the chalkboard?

Do you want to walk up to it or do you want to try to read it from where you are? Because from where you are, it's about 70 feet away, roughly. I want to try to walk in. I stopped the little barbarian. What? Can I check for traps?

Yeah, check for traps. Make an investigation check. It doesn't support the education of young women. Wow. Wow. Messed up. I mean, I guess I do. I only rolled a six, so.

Yeah, there's no traps. All right. It is close is clear. Go ahead. Yeah, you walk up. You don't have to walk all the way to the chalkboard. You can walk about halfway.

Let's say you're in the middle of the classroom and you're able to see what's written on the chalkboard. Chalkboard's covered in dust, but it has a list of names scrawled in a few rows. Adrian, Braum, Hans, Knickerbocker, Baltus, and Ichabod Crane. Oh, I know that name.

Ichabod Crane. Do any of the names look different or like underlined, circled, anything like that, or is it just a list? Just a list. It's not all like in one list. It's just in a couple of rows. They're just like list? Just a list. It's not all like in one list. It's just in a couple of rows. They're just like spread out to a row. So it's like Adrian Braum, Hans Knickerbocker,

Baltus Ichabod Crane. We've been going to all of these places in Groteth. Remind me, who's the monster leader of Parish? Headless Horseman. Headless Horseman. Okay, so Headless Horseman is the leader. And so that would be presumably, if we're going to pull from our own understanding

of these characters, that's Ichabod Ichabod Crane is a fictional character from the tale Ichabod's the one that's killed by the Headless Horseman does he or it's like ambiguous in the Legend of Sleepy Hollow okay yeah thank you thank you thank you okay

Adrian Braun Hans Knickerbobber Ichabob Knickerbocker Knickerbocker. Nickerbopper. Ickabod Crane. Nickerbocker. Sock and bop him. Phoenix.

I don't want to do this. It's not as hard as Phoenix. Just try. No. Okay. Okay, I won't. I won't. I won't.

Shout out to Ickabod Crane on social media for reaching out and featuring your name on Stinky Dragon. If you tweet at us or if you post about us at Stinky Dragon Pod. Okay. So Elga's approached, and this is just an innocuous classroom. Nothing special about it? Visibly? Well, it depends on what your definition of special is, I guess.

Is it haunted? Can I cast a tech magic? Yeah, why not? I like how Blaine was saying something, and you just yelled over him. I detect magic! We do that. We're all very excit just yelled over him i detect magic we do that we're all very excitable so do you walk in and do that oh yeah yeah yeah yeah i cast detect magic and then i walk in and it's got 30 foot radius so i'm like within the 30 foot radius detecting

so you walk in i presume to the center of the classroom where elga is that way you get most of the classroom coverage it's about 70 it's about get most of the classroom covered. It's about 70, it's about 50 feet wide and about 70 feet from the door to the chalkboard. Yeah, I want to make sure I'm also within the chalkboard. Are you making radar noises while you do this? Bum! Bum!

Bum! Is the center of the classroom where you put the pressure plate where that activates the trap, Gus? Well, I would have, but Elga already stepped there, so it would have gone off at this point. The time light is a feather, Gustavo! True, true. Stomping on the ground. Yeah, you do detect some

magic coming from behind the table that's at the northern end of the room close to the chalkboard. Barney, that's the magic of knowledge. And what kind of magic do I feel? Enchantment. It's a school bus. The desk is enchanted somehow.

I'll go and inspect it. Don't forget to make an educated guess. There you go. Can I inspect this enchanted desk or follow the enchantment? Yeah. You follow your sense of detect magic up to the desk and you realize that it's not coming from the desk itself.

It's coming from the floor behind the desk. Oh. And you look over, and you see the horseman and Katrina both there. Whoa! Scandal. Wait. No, Katrina and the horseman were in the pub, in the tavern. But they left.

We saved Katrina from Louis. Yes. And so they remember they were. We saved Katrina from Louis. Yes. And so they remember they were like dating and stuff. They were on a little, or they were They're flirting. They were talking aggressively. Aggressively. And so aggressively enough Gus had to say several things to get us to

leave them alone. Hey, now they're studying each other's anatomy. What are they doing? They better not be dead. Are they hiding? Were they hiding or are they... Katrina's holding her head and moaning a little bit. Is it off of her

shoulders? What? Like she's holding her head. Oh, she's going like this. She got her head in her hands and the horseman is prone on the ground asleep. So she's like, almost like she got a headache or something? Yeah, she looks up at you, Barney, as you approach and says, Oh, thank the gods you're here.

I was trapped here. The horseman brought me here and he attacked me. What? I was able to fight him off, but he hit his head on the table and hit me in the head. That sounds like maybe not true. You should maybe do an insight check on me i see proceed yeah can i can i i want to see if you have a spell well i want to see just how she's feeling like that does that sound honest to me yeah you that would be an insight check like your uh little friend elga yeah i just didn't want to call say can i get an insight just trying to you know yeah yeah i got you that's a 30 good lord that's

a that's a good roll what do you have uh on your inside 11 plus plus 11 why do you have plus 11 on it you know what i just i just recognized gus's tail when he doesn't know he's scrambling he's like wow that's a crazy roll tell me about your roll okay wait it's like oh god what do i do it should be because i'd uh modded it plus three because I had the Staff of Candor, but I had to get rid of that to equip that other armor. Falling right into his trap. This is also a way to double check unnaturally high rolls. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And see, it worked. He doesn't have plus 11. Someone with a plus 11 is a bit sus. Yeah, I was surprised by it, too. It's actually a plus eight, so that was a 27. Still great. That's great. Yeah, you think that she's hiding something.

And as she's talking to you, you know, Stinker's been nipping at your heels this whole time. Barney, you know, he gets low to the ground and looks at Katrina and begins growling. Dogs always know. But Barney doesn't like this dog. I just, I don't. This dog is just. What's up? She's lying.

I just, I don't, this dog is just, what's up, she's lying. I cast Matida zeroes their spear right up on Katrina. I aim my alchemist at her. This thing's loaded. Oh, right, because you have him on your back. Yeah, I face his butt to her Watch yourself Can I threaten her and be like Tell us the truth

I have castness of coolness so I could cast friends Okay Why don't I deal with this lady And you guys leave the building Alright listen Katrina you're going to tell us The truth otherwise Elga will unleash something Deep inside of her Oh, wait. All right, listen, Katrina, you're going to tell us the truth. Otherwise, Elga will unleash something deep inside of her

that has been brewing for a long time. Okay, okay. I'll tell you the truth. The truth is magic missile. And magic missiles fly out from her hands, hitting all four of you. Well, now, hold on now. What kind of rolls do we got to do here?

There's no roll against Magic Missile. It always hits. Oh, really? Yeah. Always? Yep. It's like Quick Attack with Pokemon. Barney takes three points of damage. Chip takes two. Elga takes three, and Mati takes five. Oh, at least it's not powerful. Now, can I use my Deflect Missile ability? Does that work on Magic Missile? I don't know, it's called a Missile

I'm seeing a nod Oh, okay, yeah You absolutely can I know I can Because I'm a monk And I want to use Uncanny Dodge I do have to do a roll Deflect Missiles

So 1d10 plus 10 You reduce damage by 20 So you reduce it to 0 Let me, let's resolve this. Missiles. So 1d10 plus 10. You reduce damage by 20. So you reduce it to zero. So if you want, you can spend a ki point to make a ranged attack and basically like redirect that missile. So yeah, here, I'll roll for that. I rolled a 17. Let me know when I'm allowed to attack this lady.

It may not be a lady. Someone named Katrina. It could be an individual who is either actually or pretending to be Katrina. 17. Yeah, that hits. 10 damage. Okay. And they die.

Deflect missiles attack damage. Fun fact, I rolled perfect on both of those rolls. That was amazing. Way to go, Mateen. Also, I did an uncanny dodge. Oh, I'm so sorry, dude. It's okay. Don't worry about it. Are you able to do that as a reaction? Yes. an uncanny dodge. Oh, I'm so sorry, dude. It's okay. Don't worry about it.

Are you able to do that as a reaction? Yes. Uncanny dodge. When an attacker that you can see hits you with an attack, you can use your reaction to have the attack against you. You have the damage then. Whee! Katrina winces in pain as she pulls from her bag a small head with huge ears,

large gray glassy eyes, and a long snipe nose. She quickly recites what is an incantation. Dominion la personne! The small head's eyes glow a sickly green and the horseman's prone body rises from the floor, his jack-o'-lantern eyes also blazing a sickly green. Oh, my stars! Ichabod, please, save me from these vandals! As you wish

Madam The horseman unsheathes his green saber and plunges towards you all Everyone roll initiative Wait so Who is she referring to as Ickabod I think the horseman's name is Ickabod But also I'm good 22

10 17 I'm glad you guys waited. Five. Good roll. Thank you. And Chip's here too. I'm here.

When an attacker that you can see hits you with an attack, you can use your reaction to halve the attack's damage against you. To halve it? Ooh la la. Half. Half. Halve it. What did I say?

Half. You said it right. He just wasn't, he wasn't. It's H-A-V-E or H-A-L-V-E. That L does a lot of heavy lifting in that. Half. I can hear the L. Look at my mouth.

Half. Mateed, you're, you know, as a monk, you have quick reflexes. Yeah, I do. You're able to redirect this magic missile. Yeah, I do. You have these potentially two enemies in front of you. What do you want to do? I want to do something.

I want to try something that I haven't gotten to try yet. It might not work out, but I want to push a button I haven't gotten to push before. Uh-oh. I'm going to cast Possession on Katrina. Possession? You're possessing the possessor. One humanoid that you can see within five feet of you must succeed on a charisma saving throw or be possessed by you. You then disappear and the target is incapacitated and loses control of its body.

You now control the body, but don't deprive the target of awareness. That's fun. That's a ghost ability, right? That's a ghost ability. That's what I can do because I'm not alive. Neither is Byron. It's a low check, though. I'm just doing this because I just want to see.

It's a low check. It's charisma saving just doing this because I just want to see. It's a low check. It's charisma saving throw 13. Okay, let me roll that. Bad roll. Katrina have the raise. That is a seven. She got plus six. I'm going to say probably not.

No, that is plus three. It worked! I haven't done this because I just haven't had the opportunity to do it, and it's such a low check. I was like, what's the point? Yeah, you, I guess it's like, if I had to, well, how do you envision this happening? You touch. It's a touch.

You touch. You don't like go into the body? Well, no, it's, yeah, that's what it is. Then I disappear and then I'm in control. I'm driving Katrina. Yeah. I'm John Malkovich-ing Katrina. Stop punching.

Start punching Katrina. You, you know, go up to Katrina, use your possession ability, put your hand on her, you fade out from everyone's, you know, vision, but then you pop right back as you were before. What? You sucker.

You don't... Despite her appearance, you think that maybe Katrina is not a humanoid. What? I don't think. I think she's got an enchantment. Oh, okay. Well, I learned something by doing my spell.

No, it's good. We get data. This is good. Okay. Believe it or not, that is, I think, I think that's very helpful to know. Yeah. Okay. So she's not a humanoid.

Not a humanoid. See, and you think they're, well, there was an enchantment I detected. Well, was that the type of magic you detected? That's what it... Yeah, right? Yeah, he detected enchantment magic. Okay. How long has it been since we were running from the haglings?

Not terribly long. We'll say 15 minutes. God dang it. I mean, she's clearly controlling the headless horsemen. With the head that's in her head, right? Head that's in her hand. So what... If not a humanoid, then what could it be?

The original head. What doesn't... Oh, is the head his original head? That's what I was thinking. Oh, maybe. Because you described it as long ears, long nose. Yes. That's Ichabod.

Ichabod Crane? He's got a long nose. Did you know that Ichabod Crane in the story of Sleepy Hollow courted a woman named Katrina? Did you know that? Was that Johnny Depp? Gasp. Did you know? It would have been what's her name? Wednesday Adams.

What's that actress? No. Oh, Christiana Ricci. Christiana Ricci? What? Katrina Ricci. Christina Ricci. Christina Ricci. Okay, sorry. I asked about the time thing to see if my astral self was still proc. It's a 10-minute spell.

I see. You picked the right number, so I couldn't have that. However, my turn is not over. Since I can do a bonus action, pick a number between one and two. Between one and two? Yeah. Wait, so does it have to be a full number? Pick a number between one and two. It has to be a round number? Pick a number between one and two. So it has to be a round number?

Pick a number between one and two. Come on, be rational. Hold on, hold on, hold on. Why did you throw your phone? Because I'm doing heads or tails. Heads or tails. I can't remember if that was... I think that was a tails.

Two. Okay. I cast Flurry of Blows. I didn't know if I wanted to do Astral Self or Flurry of Blows, but I'm going to do Flurry of Blows. Okay. So I get to do two unarmed strikes on... Are you going to do on Katrina or on the Horseman?

I'm going to get Katrina. Okay. First one is 21. Nice. That hits. I do nine magical slashing damage. Nine. Okay.

Because my feet are magic. You lash out with your foot doing nine points of damage. And then I lash out again with a 26. That hits. And this is all towards Katrina? Yeah. Eight more damage. So a total of 17.

Damage. Damage. Maybe if we cut off Katrina's head, then we have the Headless Horseman's jack-o'-lantern head and Ichabod's head. We get all the heads and we scramble them around. I'm up for this. Yeah?

Just heads all the way down. That's right. And then we take Chip's tail and then we have them around. I'm all for this. Yeah? Just heads all the way down. That's right. And then we take Chip's tail and then we have a game of heads or tails. I forgot to say this at the top of the episode, but obviously when you went through the water, your candle would have extinguished. So your candle's done. Oh, your trap's candle, right? Yeah, the trap's candle.

Wait, so that was it? Yeah, that's it. No more candle. Now I just got a big old ball of wax that my tail's been carrying around this whole time. You still hold on to it. I throw it in a kebab. For memories. Can you do anything else, Mateed?

No. Okay. That's French for no. Barney, you're up, you spry, quick old man. Wait, no. Oh, see, that's why I asked. I'm getting lied to. I asked.

I wanted to make one of those a stunning strike. Okay. What do I have to do? When you hit with a melee weapon attack, you can spend one ki point to make the target stunned until the end of your next turn. If it fails, a con saving throw, DC 14. Con, DC.

Okay, I have plus three on that, so I need 11 or better. Might as well. Might as well. And I do have advantage on that. Why? I'll explain later. That doesn't matter.

I rolled a three twice. Yes. You are stunned. What does that do? You're stunned. Yeah, but what does that mean? I don't know. A stunned creature is incapacitated.

Can't move and can speak only falteringly. And it automatically fails strength and dexterity saving throws. Attack rolls against the creature have advantage. What does speaking falteringly mean? I don't know. Like how I talk. Yes, actually. Fate worse than death.

I feel like that was a good turn. I'm proud of my turn. I'm going to write stunned. Good job, John. Okay. Figured out, not a humanoid. Hit twice with my feet. Stunder.

Very good. Can I grab the head? Barney, it is your turn. Oh, there's conditions? Look at that. This thing's awesome. On your little whiteboard? Yeah.

That's actually Micah's. It's not mine. Wow. Who's this Micah? All right. You want to grab the head? I want to grab the head out of her hand. Like hands.

The Ichabod? Yeah, I take the head. We can play keep away. Hot potato, hot potato. You're going to make a... You have to kiss it to break the spell. Ew. She's incapacitated, right?

So she can't move. So... You said that word, right? Yeah, make a... Phoenix. I guess it's up to you whether you want... I will forever love it when Chris whispers into the microphone. Him trying to figure it out.

It's the best thing ever. I love you. Make like a strength check. I guess to see if you're able to pull it out of her hands. Add advantage. Just make a strength check. Well, it's add advantage. I'll tell you what's an advantage and what's not.

I can't turn to that advantage. Don't tell me how to use my toys. This is my toy. I get to decide how I use it. 14. Not a save, a check. Oh, my bad. My bad. What's the modifier? Just take the dice and change your modifier. It's a plus 2. Maybe a 12. Yeah, so a 12.

You try to grab the head, but you just can't seem to get a solid grip on it. Can I do something to help? What do you mean? It depends what you mean. Can I use my bonus action to do mage hand and pull it with me to like... Three hands

are better than two. Yeah. I think a head probably weighs more than 10 pounds. He's just adding the added life. Human head weighs... I've seen Jerry Maguire. Is that Jerry Maguire? A human head weighs 15 pounds. Know that? Or 10 pounds. It's a weird quote. You know what? We're a wealth of unnecessary

information from old movies i'll allow it this podcast could be comedy fantasy and movie trivia i did see a comment where someone's like do they make references to old like media throughout the whole show old well jerry mcguire ain't exactly current cinema also we have a lot of young listeners oh i'm not saying, like, they were just questioning, like, is that what they do? It's like, yes. Yeah, we're educational. Stop complaining. Yeah, so the only thing I would say about that is normally when you want to try

to assist yourself, you declare that before you do the action. Yeah. Like, it's kind of, kind of like, in my opinion, like, when I would play, that's kind of like cheating. When you try something, it doesn't work, and then you try it again, essentially. Yeah, okay. So stop cheating, Chris. Can I tell why

this incapacitated creature, because you rolled a bad roll. Yeah. It has a very firm grip on the head. It seemed like the head was unmoving altogether. Okay, alright. That's just how the D&D works.

You got to roll the dice. Was that my action? To pay the price. That's how the dice crumbles. If you want, we could say that was your bonus action. Since you couldn't do your mage hand. So as your action,

try harder. Or, you know, hurt her. I like to imagine Barney's head. He's going like warp speed for the head, but really it's just like, ehhh. Mike. She's just holding's just like... Can I cast sleep on the headless horseman?

Yeah. Oh wait, is he currently still enchanted even though she's stunned? Yeah. Is it not concentration or anything? Yeah, I thought it was concentration. It depends on the spell being used. So yeah, you want to try to cast sleep on the headless horseman? It really would ruin Gus's fun if in the first turn I completely incapacitated the entire fight.

Yeah. Gus hates it when I do that. Yeah, I know, but we got to ruin his day somehow. All right. So you cast sleep and then you have to roll like a certain amount of hit dice, right? Yeah. How many do you get to roll? Well, I'll cast this at the second level.

Just FYI, you actually can't pick a specific creature to target. Yeah, but I center it on the Headless Horseman. Right, but... What's the description? This spell sends creatures into a magical slumber. Roll blah, blah, blah, dice. Creatures within 20 feet of a point you choose within range are affected in ascending order of their current hit points.

Ignoring unconscious. It goes from lowest to highest. Oh, okay. Okay. So I pick a point that's like only going to encompass the headless. He's going to throw the spell outside, but the sphere enters and gets Ichabod. All right. I just want to make sure we're very clear about the way the spell works.

From our perspective, Barney just points out the window and goes, Sipe! Yeah, go ahead and roll your 5d8. Come on, Barney, get a 40. Come on, Barney, let's go party. 3, 4, 5. Rolling. This was a 23.

Spell that Bart did a lot. More than 50%. Sipe. Is the leader of this entire land, are his hit points at 23? You cast sleep and it doesn't seem to affect the horsemen. But a bird

falls outside. But Stinker lets out a really big lazy yawn. And rolls over on the ground. He's doing that thing where he's like kicking his little legs in his sleep. Love that. Little Stinker. And rolls over on the ground to be doing that thing where he's like kicking his little legs Do you want to move that's the last thing you can do but you'd probably proc an opportunity attack at this point Yeah, I mean how where I'm in the middle. We're pretty close to them. Yeah, you're right next to cuz yeah

Yeah, you're right next to it. Yeah, because you went up to investigate. I'll chill. Barney's chilling. I mean, I don't know. No, I like it. Elga, what you gonna do? What you gonna do with all that junk? Meaning you guys? All that axe? All that axe inside your sheath?

I want to bite. Which one? I want to bite Katrina. Just to see what happens. Can I do my bite. Which one? I want to bite Katrina just to see what happens. Could I do my bite of sucking on her? Yeah. I guess I got to get up closer to her because it's five foot reach. But you get advantage. Oh, because she's stunned.

So that's a 16. A hit. But should I do another one just to see? Yeah, just see if you get an at. 21. Yeah, it's a good thing you did that. Yeah, that hits. Okay.

And... And the bite of sucking, so it's a melee attack that does 1d4 piercing damage, and on a failed constitution save, the creature takes 1d4 necrotic damage, and you regain half of that as HP. And mine is actually, it's 2d4. Is it 2d4? On my sheet sheet at least. Scales up.

She got plus bite. And I did 11. Wait, so that's just from the bite itself. That's not the necrotic damage, right? That's the piercing damage? That's the bite, yeah. Sorry, I was super confused over here. So yeah, 11 points of piercing damage from your bite. And I have to make a constitution saving throw.

Do you know what that DC is? 15. Alright, I got a plus 3 so I make a constitution saving throw. Yes. Do you know what that DC is? Uh, 15. Alright, I got a plus 3 so I need a 12 or better. 14. Successful save. So that stops the necrotic damage. Correct. But the 11 points of piercing damage is still good. Elga's setting me up for success here. Oh, because they've been attacked. No. Because they're within

5 feet. Well, I am too. Yeah, but Elga's like me. That was an attack. So is Barty. We're actually all surrounding this woman. Yeah, but Elga's like me. That was an attack. So is Barty. We're actually all surrounding this woman. Yeah, but Elga, you know. I'm going to bite her again. Okay. Because it is a melee attack

and you get two attacks per action. I love it. Oh, Elgunner kisses. How adorable. Oh, I'm going to use my inspiration die. No, you get the advantage. Oh, I do. Because they're stunned until my next turn. Okay, 24. Believe it or not, that hits. Yay, doing eight points of damage.

And then another constitution save and throw, 15. All right. But this one, he's going to roll bad. No, roll like a five. You guys also don't see what I'm doing, just so you know. You just see me like up close on her. You look away. That is a failure. Okay, cool. Necr you know. You just see me like up close on her. You look away. That is a failure.

Okay, cool. Necrotic damage. Let me see here. I don't know how much she gets. I think it says 5d8. I thought it was just a d4, wasn't it? I think it's just a d4. Mine says different.

Yeah, I see 1d4 necrotic damage. It says damage dice for your bite ability changes to 2d4 when you reach 5th level. That's your damage, your bite damage. Yeah, I just don't know if it's the same for necrotic. Okay, so I'll just do a d4. Just for you, Gus. All right. Appreciate it.

Okay, that's a 2. So 2 points of necrotic damage to that. 2, thank you. What is this woman? Can Elga tell from the taste? Make a wisdom check, Elga. You've drank a lot of blood in your time. Yeah. I know what I'm drinking, Sprite or Dr. Pepper. That's right.

That is a natural 20. It's a full-bodied red from the valleys of Parish with hints of oak and cedar. What year? Yeah. You did your two attacks. I have one more rage left. I'll say this. The Headless Horseman's going to attack us. I have one more rage left. I'll say this.

The Headless Horseman is going to attack us. I'll rage. The Horseman is next and then Chip and then Katrina. I'm going to rage as my bonus action. Just put it out there while we are definitely beating up on this stunned woman. Cool. And that's going to be me. So I'm currently raging now.

Okay. Taking the form of? Taking the form of taking the form of thank you for reminding me I'm going to take the form of tail tail I like that tail she's a big fan of tail spin excellent choice good cartoon yeah you get to send that damage you get to do our secret handshake with their tails Plus you get to do our secret handshake with their tails. One, and a two, and a one, two, three.

It's a tail shake. Mikey, you can insert the sounds of flesh clapping against each other. The horseman rears back, drawing his flame blade high. What? Bringing it down on Elga, since Elga is attacking Katrina. Yeah. Hitting AC 26. I think that might hit.

Yeah, that'll hit, yeah. I think it actually went too high. It actually misses her. Ah. Better stride. Doing six points of slashing damage. But because you are raging. Because raging, I take half of that.

You take three points of slashing. Three points. However, you also take some necrotic damage. Which I am resistant to. Ooh. So seven points of necrotic damage, which rounds down to three points. Nice. Go game. So the headless horseman then turns its gaze

and glares at Barney Farney. What? Make a wisdom saving throw, Barney Farney. With pleasure. With pleasure. 19. A plus 10. Wow. I would have picked someone else if I knew I had a plus 10. Yeah, you feel fear rise up from inside you,

attempting to take over your body, but you shake it off. I ain't afraid no ghost. No! Woo! Perfect delivery. All right, Chip, you're up. Okay. All right.

I'm acting fast. I've got the alchemist. He's in my shoulders, yeah? Yeah. We need my bonus attack to throw it at the headless horseman bonus action I hope you want to substitute teacher. We'll say that's a rain of range attack Okay, so it's not a bonus. Well what you're trying to do damage. You're just trying to Well, I'm trying to get this guy off me so I can actually attack but also okay I don't really intend to harm the headless horseman.

Sure. All right. Yeah. For fun. Funsies. Yeah. What do I roll? Make a athletics check.

Okay. I just like that I'm throwing the alchemist. This is kind of my petty revenge for him not talking to us. That's a 12. You're not able to toss it all the way at the horseman, but you get the alchemist off of your back and he flops to the ground halfway between you and the horseman. But I really want to send this guy flying, so I think I'm going to use my inspiration die.

There you go. That's more like it. That's a 21. Yeah, the alchemist flies gracefully through the air, hitting the horseman, knocking him slightly off balance. The commotion rouses Stinker, who wakes up from his sleep. Great. And then while that's going on, I move quickly

to pull out my arm blade of blurbling on Katrina. And because I have so many party members that are within five feet, I get to get a sneak attack. At advantage, because she's... What's her name? Stabilized. Unstabilized.

Paralyzed. Yeah. Still not there. No, you should have let him. Sorry. It was a fun game. We only have so much time. You spoiled my game. All right. Go for it.

Okay. Well, I first rolled a 20, but if I'm at an advantage, then that is also a... Don't worry about it. It's a 20. 20. That hits. All right. So that's seven points of damage, plus I do three.

All right. And then the sneak attack gives me an additional seven. All right. Yeah. You unload a flurry of blows onto Katrina with your arm blade of blurbling. She's just full of holes. Yep. Is that it? I did use my bonus action to fling the nutty professor off my back.

So you wanted to play Somebody Help. Yeah, I don't think I have anything else. I think I just... Yeah. Okay. Maybe I can try to... Wake up, headless horseman! I don't know. Give him a little slap. Maybe while I'm hitting him with my tail.

Give him a little limp little... Kiss him. With my tail. That gets everyone out of the trance. Yeah. Okay, so it's Katrina's turn. I guess that didn't work. Who is stunned? Yes.

However, before your eyes, it's unbelievable. She changes form. She no longer looks like a fetching woman. Instead, her form changes to that of a hag. She has purple pocked skin, blackened hair. She's dressed in a frayed shawl. She looks at you with anger in her eyes. Then both her and the horseman blink out of existence, disappearing.

Like going invisible or can we tell? Because I got knives up to them. You can make a, if you want, you can make a wisdom check. Let's do it. All of us? Yeah. Yeah, why not? Come on, gang. All together now. All together. 17. 7. Nat, 20. 23. Don't worry, guys. I got this. 1.

Excellent. But not a fail. Matide and Elga, you don't think this is just invisibility. She has shifted herself and transported herself and the horseman to another plane of existence. The rapture. She is still there. You should attack her immediately.

I start swiping the knife. Elga, you feel like something's in your bag. My bag? The bomb. You have a bag? Something's moving around in your pack. Yeah, I have a pack. Oh, okay.

I guess where you pulled your rope out of. Oh, yeah. El guess where you pulled your rope out of. Oh, yeah. Elga opens it up. You open up your bag and Jacques bursts out of your bag. What? What is my kitty?

He's got a piece of paper in his mouth. Can I read the paper? Yeah, he drops the paper to the ground and it unfolds in front of you, revealing it to be

the sky chart. What? We found that at the museum thing I think a while ago. Okay. It's labeled Temple Caché de Moi ecclesiastro.

There were complications cooking the eclair. What does it mean? It means hidden temple of ecclesiastro monks. Jacques pounces on the sky chart, and boom! An enormous purple portal opens up above you all. You see and feel your bodies fall to the ground limp, or at least those of you who have bodies, but your spirits remain floating in the air.

Jacques looks up at you all with his feline face. Don't worry, I know what I'm doing. Ah! Ah! Ah! Soon, your spirits soar up into the purple portal. I want to know what Jacques is going to sound like. So I left my corporeal body? We left our corporeal bodies?

Find out exactly what that means on the next episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon. What the heck? Well, thanks for listening, everybody. This was a fun one. Dude, this is... Happy Stinkuary. Happy Stinkuary. Goodbye, our first member. Glorbal Gerbal. Glorbal Gerbal. We'll be back next week with another new episode.

Au revoir. Bye. Did you know you can directly support the show by subscribing at StinkyDragonPod.com slash first. We have tons of amazing little stinkers like ProducerMike975, iCollins23, Eruterk, Eruterk, Eruterk. Make that a little easier to pronounce, Eruterk. Steve Stesher and Creeperky, Creeperky, Creepercry, Creepercry.

I hate you guys. Directly supporting the show to get access to more content like Second Wind, interact with us on our subscriber-only Discord channels and events and more. Again, that's stinkydragonpod.com slash first. We can't thank you enough for your support that lets us make this show. Listeners that interact with us on social media and Discord have NPCs named after them in this episode, like

Louis the Frost Giant, aka the Alchemist Curse Form, at Louis D. Kress on Twitter, voiced by BlizzBear, at BlizzBear. Katrina, aka Shirock the Hag, named after at JustShiraKumo on Twitter, voiced by Murphy Gersh, at BlizzBear. Katrina, aka ChiracTheHag, named after at JustChiracumo on Twitter, voiced by Murphy Gershwin, at SunnyShoreCity. And also, the Headless Horseman is voiced

by Jacob Fullerton, at underscore Jacob Fullerton, and JacquesTheCat, voiced by Drew Saplin, at DSaplin. This episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon was produced by Kai Cook, written, edited, and composed by Micah Reisinger, with additional editing work by David Saunier. Don't forget to head on over to stinkydragonpod.com slash first for all things Stinky.

Tune in next time for another thrilling episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon. We had a carnival where Chris had a kissing booth where people had to pay him to not kiss them. He made a lot. That's not a joke. You actually left the day with like 20 bucks or something. Always more than that.

You don't want Chris to kiss you. Become a first man. Go to stingerdragonpod.com slash first.