Tales from the Stinky Dragon - Passé in Perrish - C02 - Ep 32 - In Case You Alchemist It

Episode Date: January 23, 2024

The party race their way back to Perrish to try to foil Talon's plans! Support us at stinkydragonpod.com/first ! Join us on Discord: https://discord.gg/roosterteeth Check out our merch and follow us on Twitter, Instagram, TikTok and more: https://linktr.ee/TalesFromTheStinkyDragon Go to http://shopify.com/dragon to sign up for a $1-per-month trial period. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is a Rooster Teeth production. Good evening, all you eldritch liches. Hover your way into the Stinky Dragon. Drink up our latest java. Few and far realm between. It's a mixture of espressos, white chocolate whisper sauce, parasitic poison, topped with tentacle whipped cream. One swig of this will and you won't be able to legendary resist the rest. Previously our adventurers arrived in the plain of Australia thanks to Jacques.

Matide's mentor trained them in the monastic methods of self-defense, cultivation, and planar arts. Now the party returns to the material plain to ascertain alchemical secrets and conquer the coven. Grab a guzzler and let's get back to this gassy goss. Hello everyone, I'm Gustavus Rola, Dungeon Master of our Putrid Party. I'm going to hit our four players with an arrow. Putrid is mean. I send it back.

Oh, ow. I take rolling dice. I take four points of damage. Ow. Guys, that means you should have to answer the arrow question too. Well, speaking of arrows, if you were in a rock band, which instrument would you play? I presume your characters. If your character was in a rock band, which instrument would they play?

This is the most easy and obvious one for me so i'll start i'm curious i am barbara dunkelman and i play elga von brass the half elf hello john i play the half elf vampire barbarian level six currently not quite at bat level yet but i think if elga was in the band, the obvious answer would be the drums because Elga smash. The drums. Elga has animal energy. No animal like from the Muppets. Yeah. Like shredding an axe.

Oh, she could do that, too. I was just thinking smashing, smashing, smashing, of boom boom Noises and stuff like that you know That tracks Although the visualization Of Elga tiny little Elga On like a guitar Just like that's what I was thinking Tiny Elga at a drum set is also great though

Yeah yeah I go both ways she does both Oh that's a combo You rarely see in bands nowadays is the guitar, guitarist slash drummer. She picks up where people need her the most. She's a regular Phil Collins. I'll go next. Hey there, it's Chip Haney.

Tiefling Rogue Six standing by. I was getting to it john i just want to make sure people know that i want people to know who you are because i know who you are it's the best thing in my life it's your good friend blaine oh hi blaine hi there hey there so i think it's obvious that chip haney you know he's just, he wears so many hats. So he'd play so many instruments. So I'd have one of them big old, you know, one man band outfits, you know. Like Dick Van Dyke in Mary Poppins. Where I'd push my leg and it plays a drum and then I'm playing a banjo and I got a kazoo up in my mouth.

And then I'm, you know, bringing my abductors together or my adductors together. And then it's making a cymbal clap. I think that'd be real fun uh also really quick uh when i was looking for what the name of that instrument is called because i i thought that there would be a name for that one of the google searches is uh what is the most masculine instrument there's some really sad people out there oh yeah i refuse to play masculine what's it listed as uh let me go back. I didn't even click on it because I was like, that's so sad.

It's obviously the guitar or drums. It's the mandolin. Oh. Mateed, inspiration die. Really? That was a very coordinated, oh. Masculinity are attributed to trumpets,

trombones, and percussions. All right. They like to blow it. Typical, typical man. Am I right? It depends on who you ask. Chorus is electric guitar and drums. Barney's like, I play the electric guitar and drums.

The contraption you're talking about, the chip play. I think that's just called one man band, isn't it? I assume so. Yeah. Is it because men are mostly known for having like better lung capacity or something? Like, is that why it's a lot of like those? Well, I think in the regards to like an orchestra or like a band, like a big band. Yeah.

Like brass instruments, maybe. I don't know. Whereas like the violin is maybe more like feminine. I feel like it's like fingers. It's like, like a flute requires like more dexterity and like precision. And then a man's just like, push down this,

blow this. Trombone. It's a piccolo in my book. All right. Who's next? Let's keep this ball going. You want to go, Chris?

Yeah. Yeah. I just found an instrument and it's ridiculous looking. I'm trying to find the name of the instrument. What instrument? Wait, wait, wait. Let's play a game here. Barbara, Blaine, Gus, what instrument is Chris looking at right now?

I'm going to guess it's an accordion. He doesn't know what an accordion is? He doesn't know what an accordion is. I don't know what an accordion is. I'm going to guess it's one of those like 32 string, like weird guitar things that are like beautiful sounding. Trixie Mattel, one of my favorite drag queens plays one. Barbara?

Barbara? I'm going to guess that it's like a harpsichord or something of that sort. I think he's looking at something really weird, like a theremin or something. I don't know what that is. I don't have anything to do with Scientology. I posted a picture of it

in Slack. Oh, it's like a medieval instrument. That's so cool. The Baroque Theorbo. Wait, say that all without pausing. Baroque Theorbo. Okay, so that's one word.

Now say it as Barney because Barney plays it. Baroque Theorbo. I, so that's one word. Now say it as Barney because Barney plays it. Baroque Theorbo. I'm Chris Damaris and I play Barney Barney. He's doing it. He's doing it in the Barney voice. The level six. A human cleric. I'm Chris Damaris.

The instrument looks like something that Bart would have bought if he was going through a midlife crisis. Yeah. Just trying to compensate a little bit. He's like eight feet long. I also just want to point out that the question was what instrument you would play in a rock band. And this is the instrument

that you envision being in a rock band. Well, they didn't say what era of rock music. Classical rock. Yeah, Baroque rock music. Classical rock. Yeah, Baroque rock music. It looks like it's like an eight foot guitar or acoustic guitar with like double strings. Like a giant lute. Okay, it looks like a giant sitar almost,

like upright. A bit sitar-ish. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, have you ever heard of Bjork? That's a rock band. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Have you ever heard of Bjork? That's a rock band. OK, so so Barney plays the Baroque.

I don't think I don't even know what you said there. They're Therobo, the Baroque Therobo. I don't know what it is either. I don't know. I just know visually. I'm like, that's medieval. That's not modern. This is a D&D podcast. Medieval, I think it's appropriate. Matide, what would Matide play? How about that? Oh, yeah.

My name is John Reisinger, and I play Matide Confucius, the era-cochrane ghost monk. And as a musician, I actually, recently with the development of my new abilities, I have been able to learn a new instrument, actually. What I do is I cast Arms of the Astral Self, and I play the organ, and I play all the parts of the organ. I was going to say the organ for you.

That's so appropriate for this podcast, too. Yeah. I love, big fan of Michael Crawford. I was going to say it was going to be a flute. Cause the flutes always remind me of birds. They're all like, this is a joke for Gus and Gus only in the garden of Eden. That's,

that's what I was thinking of. I feel like Gus's DM character would play like a theremin. Cause this is like a spooky, like, yeah, but Chris doesn't know what that is. Chris, you know, you know, the sound at the beginning of the old star trek theme song or doctor who or what about yeah or uh good vibrations by the beach boys yeah okay it's this weird instrument that it just it

you actually just use your hands in the air and it and there's a little frequency rod that like registers where your hands are and it makes that weird sound. That's magic. A bit. You know what? You might be right there, Chris. Or science, but what is science that we can't explain but magic? Oh, that's beautiful. I'm the first person to say something like that ever.

I'm having fun, guys. Let's just keep talking about this. We're going to be in deep. Jack pulls out a sky trot from his robes and the plushy becomes sparkling dust and he blows the cloud towards you all. Wait, did we all make that? Too late. The shower of sparkles sizzles across your spiritual selves

and soon your spirits soar back to the material plane straight into your bodies in the abandoned schoolhouse. I'm alive! As you all gather your bearings, you realize that your bodies have been revitalized, no doubt thanks to Jacques. Everyone, you can now mark a long rest on your character sheets. Looks like we made it!

Can we go up a level? No. Okay. The footsteps creak on the floorboards behind you and a disheveled alchemist steps forward, the weathered lines across his face sunken in more than ever. I believe it's time I told you the tale of me and my other personality,

Lewis. Oh, you look sleepy. Good start. Okay, go ahead. We're waiting. Just a little peek behind the damn screen. Whenever we record at home, we're recording at home this episode, for some reason, i can't scroll down in acrobat using the scroll

wheel on my mouse because if i scroll down even once it goes to the end of the document so if you hear me pause sometimes it's because i'm moving my mouse to the scroll bar at the edge and then going down one page and then continuing to read that's where chris fills in the blanks by going, you look tired. I was born with a condition and I possess two personalities, Robert and Luce. Oh. That's all Barney needed. Okay, thanks, bye.

Acting. Acting, everybody. That's how you do it. Chris wins today. Oh, I love it. I, um... You... You broke me, Chris. You broke me. Chris is over-caffeinated, everybody.

Chris is over-caffeinated. Gird your loins. We're in for one today. While I'm in possession of my faculties as Robert, I'm somewhat moderate and intellectual, while my alternate personality, Lewis, can be quite brute and fiendish with insatiable proclivities. However, due to my condition, it was difficult to maintain any type of regular job. So I ended up making a not-so-savory deal with an underground organization in exchange for the promise of a cure of my condition. That organization, as you have figured out, is Talon. Oh, I guess we didn't figure it out.

Now, Robert, is this condition something you were born with? Maybe it's Maybelline or words? Yes. Oh, okay. I didn't know if this is like chemically onset, like an experiment gone wrong. I was born with it and I've had to deal with it for a long time. The head of Talon is the Coven and the Coven deceived me. Instead of giving me a cure for my condition,

they gave me a curse, which turned Lewis into a monster. Oh. Why would they want to do that? That is beyond my understanding. I trusted that they would give me a cure, but perhaps they wanted to try to harness Lewis's power and energy for their ends. Do Lewis and Robert, you have two different, like, directions in life? Like, does Lewis actively want to, like, hamstring Robert so, like, he would work with the coven

willingly, or do they have some sort of power over him? Not necessarily. It was even less possible to deal with Lewis after the curse was placed on me. So perhaps they sought to control him with his reduced faculties. I fled from Talon in search for a cure, not only for my condition, but for the curse as well, taking any odd jobs I could. Eventually, I found a janitorial position at Lofton College where I met Lorenzo Wolfman. Wolfman took pity on me me and together we worked to develop the Ther-asylum. There

I was able to brew a daily curative concoction that helped me keep my symptoms in check. However, despite all the care I took in trying to remain anonymous, Talon finally caught up with me thanks to their newly formed alliance with Eddie. Does Robert's wife, your wife

Frankesca, do they know about Louis? What's their relationship like? Yes. Francesca is aware of Louis. However, thanks to my daily brood concoction, she does not typically have to deal with Louis. So I'm able to keep Louis,

my condition, and the curse in check. How about your boy? Is little baby, what was his name? Henry. Is it a little baby my condition, and the curse in check. How about your boy? Is Lil Baby... What was his name? Henry. Is Lil Baby Henry? We dropped the H because of Medid. Does Henry know about Louis?

Have they met? Henry is unaware. I've worked very diligently to keep him unaware of Louis's existence. If you were able to work with the Wolfman in order to create curative means to keep Louis at bay, why was Louis out and about in Paris as of recently? I've been away from the Therese Asylum, unable to brew my daily curative. I did have some curative with me. However, I have been having to ration it out more and more as we spend more time away from Atra City. been having to ration it out more and more as we spend more time away from Atra City.

I was on my way back to Atra City in order to procure more of that curative, but I don't remember what happened. We must have been ambushed. You were on the train, weren't you? I remember I was traveling via camel with my family back to Atra City, but I don't recall how I ended up here in Parish. Everything is just kind of blank. Oh, he wasn't on the train. Weezer was on the train. Hey, Robert. Correct, correct.

Hey, Robert, does Henry have your disease? Has Henry displayed any signs of having dual personalities, perhaps? Henry is at an age where we would know if he had it by now, and he has not shown any symptoms. As far as we can tell, the condition is not hereditary. So we don't expect Henry will experience any symptoms like this. Okay. What a precocious young boy.

Very precocious. I have a question for you, Mr. Alchemist. Is the potion you use to keep Louis at bay's similar or the same potion that the wolfman would take to keep her wolf look kind of at bay as well? That's a very astute question, Elka. It's not the same kind of potion, but they are similar in their goals and composition, but they are not the same. Okay.

Alchemist, I got a real important question. This might be a real door buster here. I got a real important question. This might be a real doorbuster here. I got a rash on my elbow. Can you prescribe me some sort of a cream? A little off topic, but it's still very relevant to you and your profession. He looks at your elbow and says, that's not a rash. That's

a laceration. You've been cut on your elbow. Oh, okay. Just wash it and keep it clean. Got it. Okie dokie. Sorry. I don't know why I did that. That's funny. That's D&D. Oh, okay. Just wash it and keep it clean. Got it. Okie dokie. Sorry. I don't know why I did that. That's funny. That's D&D. That's improv.

I like it. That's showbiz, baby. Yeah. Well, so, Robert, I mean, what are the next steps? Obviously, you're being sought after by Talon, and I don't know how much we can trust you because you could turn into Louis. I mean, what's the next mission? Do we got to get you some more of the drinky drink that stops you from becoming Louis or what?

I think the most prudent step at this point is to head back to Parrish swiftly because I fear that Eddie and Talon may be looking to take over the city and expand the holdings of the covenants. Oh. expand the holdings of the cover. Oh. So, when you turn into Louis, you're a big troll. Giant. Frost giant.

Giant troll. Frost giant. Yes. So that's the only time we've seen you like that? That one time? I have no memory. Oh, that's right. You would have to tell me if you saw me as Louis. It only happened the one time. I just have to. Oh, that's right. You would have to tell me if you saw me as Lewis. I like the way that-

I told it in the one time. I just have to appreciate the way that Chris incorporates information into what he's already saying. Like, you could say, like, oh, yeah, you know, the red thing. And someone says the blue thing. And he goes, the red blue thing. The red blue thing. I'll tell you what, roll me a wisdom check, Barney. He's a medical marvel that Chris Damaris, I love him

16 So you remember that you have seen Louis more than once You not only saw him outside of the tavern but you were engaged in combat with him under the ice dome when you were at Talon HQ before you escaped with him Where those hags when you were at Talon HQ. Yeah. Before you escaped with him.

Where those hags were just staring at us, being weird about it. Yeah. Well, I mean, at least one was staring. One was staring at us. This might be less to Robert and more of just a, I guess, wisdom check for Chip. Is this a common affliction that happens in Grotesque? The dual personalities? Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm. Yeah, let's call it a wisdom check. Wisdom. Well, that's a 10. You don't think you've ever heard of anyone else having a condition like this throughout your life and experiences? My guard's up. You know, it could be any one of us. It could be Barney.

It could be two personalities. I think I only have one. Yes, his one very alive personality. That's right. I'll give a knowing look. I don't know what you mean by that. Stinker begins licking his paws. His bones, you mean?

Yeah, his little bony paws. Hey, Mateed. Mateed, how are you doing you know you just ran in with Jacques you doing okay you know Jacques skimpered off and you know how are you going for like

the most like kind of scared embrace right grab your shoulder I don't know if that's the vibe hey hey hey pal that's the vibe. Hey, hey, hey, pal. That's every hug for me. That's the hell I live with. Don't know the vibe.

I feel like Mateed would feel your tension and then do like the bird, just head turn around, look at you kind of thing. The reach out for the pat on the shoulder Then becomes like a shoulder rub But then a pet And then I'm like oh no no I've committed I'm quite alright Yes that was quite a lot to learn

About in my past But I feel like I came out a better person Every experience is an opportunity for learning. I always appreciate that. Yeah, good. Good. Are you okay?

You seem quite tense. I'm great. I'm good. We're good. You all right? Oh, yeah. Can I have a hug? Are you guys stalling before we continue to figure out what's going on here?

Elga, I think Chip needs a hug. Okay. Are we doing hugs? I am not quite an Elga. I'm going to roll for initiative. I'm going to do a hug with Elga

and then I'm going to pull in Barney and then I'm going to extend an arm just outreach to Matin if they want it. And then I'm going to just bring a leg out and welcome in Stinker. Elga is going to counter your hug by letting you come in for the hug. She's going to swoop around you and jump on your back and start strangling you like a wrestling move. That's great. start strangling you.

Like a wrestling move. That's great. Barney is just going to really slowly just like go in for the hug but at like a 10% speed. Yeah. Open arms waiting. Didn't I give you a hug

last episode? Did you? I think I phased through you and then gave a hug, didn't I? Oh, you did! Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Hey, Robert, you in on this? Uh, sure. Robert looks kind of weak, kind of tired, but he hobbles

over. He looks like he could use a good hug. You look like you could use some magic food. Restore some HP. Do you need, do you need, do you need, uh, uh, uh, some I could do a cast sleep on you. Make you go to sleep. Take a nap. Or we could ask him if him turning into Louis affects

his health at all or does anything each time it happens. That's a good question. Or he could sleep. Or he could sleep. We have no time. We must make haste and get back to Paris and mourn them. Sleep! I like how Chris was unhappy with his own decision there.

He went sleep and then facepalmed himself. Yeah. Yes, the curse is quite exhausting. It does take a lot of energy out of me. But like I said, we must return to Parrish. It is still unclear why Eddie is involved with Talon. With my interactions with Talon and the coven, I have learned that the coven is most strong when all three hags are together. So, when we face them, we need to do our best to split them apart.

Wait, I'm actually confused because didn't one of the hags help us get out of the Talon headquarters? Yeah. Shivey. I have no memory of it. Oh, then this is information for you. One of them helped us. It seems to be a nicer hag. It was quite lovely.

They got us out of the ice dome. It was wonderful. Yeah. Did she come with us? Where is she? Well, she turned Louis to help us and then shooed us away. She had influence over Louis. So maybe she knows you.

This is a very interesting development indeed. Okay. Oh, also real quick, what triggers the Louis, the transformation? What do we need? What are some warning signs so that we know when he's coming? Anger brings out the beast that is newest. Oh. Okay.

So, gang, whenever it gets a little tense for Robert, we're going to go in. We're going to get him on group hug. No, we're going to whisper words of affirmation into Robert's ears, bombarding him with good vibes. Okay. And I'm going to give him the best shoulder massage you could ever imagine. We're just gonna surround him by love, suffocate him with love, so that he doesn't transform

into Louis. Alright, gang? So we need to go to Paris. Perhaps we should abscond as time is of the essence. Yes. Or take a nap. Fine, you can take a nap, and then we are going to go to Paris. We will catch up with you later, Barney. Barney, if you want to take a nap.

Oh, sorry. Go ahead, Delgan. I was going to offer the same thing as you, Chip. It looks like we have the same man. I said, if Barney wants to take a nap, I just hold him like a little baby in my arms. Two peas in a pod. We'll go back and forth. If your arms get tired, I'll carry him.

They won't. Okay. You can just piggyback him while he sleeps. Oh, that sounds lovely. Can Barney get in? You like put a blanket on top of you. He points at himself

and goes, sleep. Oh, wouldn't that be nice? So yeah, you all are back inside that schoolhouse you were in previously. It's about 50 feet by 70 feet. It's, you know, it's still overrun with frost and ivy. There's two rows of toppled desks, wooden shelves along the east wall. And you all reappeared where you were previously by the large table and chalkboard at the northern end, which is kind of the back of the room.

And this is the position that the hag by the name of... Katrina. Nope. That's Katrina was the name of the lady and then turned into what hag? Yeah. She turned into Chirac. Chirac. Chirac left with the headless horseman. Like, ported away. Yes.

So, feel like trying to read into why Gus was so descriptive of this room. Is there something we should be doing in this room? I'm just resetting the scene. Okay, okay. I was just going to ask, when we arrived in this room, I don't know if we had time to even investigate anything or look around at all. Barney did detect magic, which led us to checking out this part of the room,

the front of the room, and that was where Francesca was behind the desk over Headless Horseman. Katrina. Katrina. Names Horseman. Katrina. Katrina. Names are fun. Katrina was that. So yes, we really didn't do a lot of investigation. If our little investigative barbarian wants to do some, that might be good.

And it said something on the, I remember it said something on the chalkboard that we had looked at. It was names of the boys. Correct. There were names on the chalkboard. And Ichabod was on there. It was names of the boys. Correct. There were names on the chalkboard. And Ichabod was on there. It was Andreen, Bron, Hans, Knickerbobber, and Ichabob Crane.

Knickerbocker. Knickerbocker. Knickerbocker. Knickerbocker. Baltus and Ichabod Crane. Baltus. I don't remember any of that. It sounds like you guys are summoning some like ancient god. It was just names.

We're activating the Witcher soldier. On the chalkboard. Yeah. I don't know. Is there something we can do to just do a quick check of the room? Can we? Perhaps before we leave, we should all just see if we left anything around here. You know, when you're leaving a hotel room, you check to make sure you didn't leave anything there.

Maybe we do that real quick. I'm going to check the teacher's desk to see if there's any Tamagotchis or Pokemans. You know, that's where they put them whenever they take them from the kiddos. Does that mean if you find anything else other than Tamagotchis or Pokemans, you're going to ignore it? Because you're only looking for those things? Yeah, I'm still looking for a first edition Charizard, you know. Likelihood is low, but these teachers, they don't know what gold they got on their hands, you know. Bey edition charizard you know likelihood is low but these teachers they don't know what gold they got on their hands you know beyblades you know uh other toys yo-yos

dunkin yo-yos my gosh yeah misty mountain dice please sponsor us uh you know i will check the desk they would know what gold they have on their hands if a teacher confiscated Misty Mountain Dice. It's a quality product. Any teacher would want a pocket for themselves. I'm sorry, John. Did you say... I'll check the desk. You said there's rows of desks.

I will check the desks. All right. Does anybody else want to do any investigative work? I checked the teacher desk. Yeah, yeah. I will look. I'll go if you want to carry. No, I'm asleep. I'll look. I'll go if you want to carry. No, I'm asleep.

I'll look around as well with Barney in my arms. Okay. Okay. Is there a specific place you want to look? Well, that's the large table is the one that Blaine is looking at. And then Matita. Correct. Or sorry, Chip.

And then Matita is looking at the rows of desks. So I'll look at the shelves. Okay, great. I'm going to do Chip, Matita, Elga, because that's the order everyone set it in. Okay. Okay, great. I'm gonna do Chip, Mateed, Elga because that's the order, everyone. Set it in. Okay. Chip, go ahead and, I guess, make a let's call it a investigation check. Nat 20.

Ooh. Oh, I better be finding some pogs, some yak bags, you know, some homies with a Z. So the large table's pretty cluttered. There's, like, some homies with a Z. So the large table's pretty cluttered. There's like some sand, rose petals, a dead cricket. It's just, I don't know, weird.

It's just kind of all overrun. Okay. Make me an arcana check, Chip. All right. Any pog slammers? Anything good? 16. These look really familiar to you

because you saw Barney use similar reagents not that long ago. This is the material components for a sleep spell. Oh. So probably, okay gang, I found stuff for a sleep spell. If I had to take a guess, it was probably to put the Headless Horseman asleep from Katrina, whatever her name is.

That's my guess. Maybe. So was the Headless Horseman asleep when we got here? I think they were incapacitated before they were turned. That's my guess. Maybe. So was the headless horseman asleep when we got here? I think they were incapacitated before they were turned. I don't know. That guy ain't no magic guy. I'm just a simple knife guy, you know? When you all first walked in, the headless horseman was laying down on the ground with Katrina

over his body. Okay. Knife guy's finished last. Mateed. Yeah, like I said, there's two rows of four deaths, so there's eight total. Make me an investigation check. It's a 10. Yeah, it seems like it's mostly a lot of trash. You're able to find a broken jar of ink in one of the desks. Okay.

Maybe an old school supply? Okay. Nothing here. Elga. Hello. So there's four rows of wooden shelves that are lining the eastern wall. They're completely intact and thoroughly kempt. On each shelf are glass bold cases housing decapitated humanoid heads of various species.

There's about two on each shelf, more or less. Go ahead and make me an investigation check. With advantage? Yes, because you can get up close on this. Okay, 17. You notice, you know, as you're kind of looking at it, you notice the third and last shelf are missing a head. And you also spot claw marks along the wooden shelving in that area.

And on top of that, you notice a trail of broken glass along the floor leading toward the table at the back of the classroom over where Chip is. And that's where the headless horseman was. Correct. So is this like where he got jumped, I guess? Or like they took a head from the shelf to put on him or

something like that? You said two jars were missing, right? Correct. When we saw the headless horseman at the entrance of Parish, was the horseman headless or did they have like a pumpkin or anything like that? I don't remember the description.

I like the idea of a horse-le-man. Horse-le-man. Horse-le-man. Yeah, the horseman was in possession of a head at that time. What was the head? The head at that time was a pumpkin head. A pumpkin head. And then when we fought the horseman in this classroom, what did he look like? It was an apple.

It looked very strange. Not proportionate. Proportionate. A little apple. Instead of a full pumpkin, it was a gourd. It looked like a pumpkin, just like way too small. Not right at all. So then

when you encountered the horseman here in the classroom, Katrina slash Chirac had pulled out a humanoid head. It seemed like, I believe I said, was using it to maybe control him. They were holding that. They were palming that thing. It was like something that you were describing, I remember, during the encounter. The horseman himself, did he still have his pumpkin head at the time?

Yes. Okay. So maybe that was his old head that she was somehow manipulating him? And took from the jar? Yeah, I don't know why it's in here. Can we recall if the hags have claws? Yes. Yes, they do.

Yes, they do. Sorry. Sorry, I worded it in a weird way. All right. We can recall. Yes, they do. So I think that's a good theory, that the hag, that Chirac took the head from the jar since the glass leads to the table

where they were doing that spell on Ichabod and then took control of him. But there's two missing, which means there's another head in play here. Interesting. Can I wake up? Okay, Chris wants to play. Okay, Barney, I'm putting you down now.

Good morning, Barney. Wakey, wakey. What's Chris going to do? This place looks just like the place we left. We have not gone anywhere. We've been investigating this classroom. Oh. We're on the hunt for an ed.

We are missing one. Oh, there's a bunch in those jars right over there. Let's go look at those. Oh, I'm so glad you were asleep this entire time. Can I take a head? Did you say, can you take a head? Yeah, like one of the heads. A jars.

Sure, why not? All right. Which one? Well, you tell me. There's all different kinds of humanoid heads. Is there a specific kind of humanoid you're looking for? I mean, there's elves, tiefling, humans. What are you in the market for there, Barney?

What kind of head? I don't know. Take a head. That looks nice. In case the headless horseman needs a new one. All right. Yeah, you can take a human head if you want. This one looks nice.

What's your weight for your inventory, I wonder? The human head weighs eight pounds. Yeah. I think it's more like 10 to 12, is it not? What movie is that from? Jerry Maguire. Jerry Maguire. I'm trying to weigh my own head, but it's hard because it's connected to my spine.

The average human head weighs 10 to 11 pounds. I'm pretty sure Chris is at least 30. I mean, look at that. Yeah. Wrinkly brain up in there. Do we feel like we have exhausted this classroom and we might want to Add to perish? I'm just gonna look around One more time, Gameboy Colors Mighty Max, Yu-Gi-Oh cards

Anything. I don't think you're gonna find what you're Looking for, I think we should probably head out No pun intended. Okay, yeah, you're right Okay, fine. We leave, we gotta, we head to Parish I will say that again, we should head out, no pun intended There you go If you want, you can take the items from the desk that you did find.

Chip, that's up to you. Barney, do you need any material components for sleep? Sure. Okay, there you go. I throw it out. Here you go. Here you go. Yeah, while you're picking all that up and giving it to Barney,

you know, the sand moves aside and you find a blue ice white dragon. For some garbage. Oh, yeah, yeah. I slipped that into my bum bag of holding. It's an actual dragon though. That's good, that's good. Yo, what's up little stinkers? It's me, Barbara.

Hello, talking to you directly in your eardrums. January is a very, very important month for us because it's Stinkuary. Not just important for us, but also for you guys. So this show, we talk about it all the time. It would not be possible without your patronage, which is why all month long, we will be raising awareness around our subscription service,

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no matter what stage you're in. Shopify.com slash dragon. We had to Parish. You all leave the schoolhouse and, you know, make your way back to Kuu-Ondormi, which was that kind of abandoned town you passed in order to perish on the way back through. Like I said, it's all

abandoned buildings and ruins. A sleepy town? Yeah. Hey! Give yourself an inspiration. I already got one! I'm just giving away these jokes. Everybody's getting inspiration dice. Good job, guys. As'm just giving away these jokes. Everybody's getting inspiration dies. Good job, guys. As you're walking through Kuondormi, the hag eye that was given to you by Shaibe

begins to glow again with green light until it suddenly flashes and blinds everyone. Everyone make an arcana check. This thing keeps going off. Is it trying to tell us something? Jesus. That's a one critical fail. 11. 12. Eleven. Twelve

Seven. Jess, stellar rolls. Thank you, Olga. The Zelda, the highest Arcana check, what is going on? Our barbarian had the highest Arcana check, the best It tracks. So Chip, even though you rolled a one, your roll is a five because it's a plus one. Yeah, I didn't know what the

rules are with critical fail. Subbrite was yelling at us for 20s and ones. The checks are independent of that. Like critical success or like that's more for like attack rolls. So for your check, you always give the number because sometimes checks could be incredibly high. Like a check might be a 30. However, if Chip decides to do a backflip and you roll a one, Gus will punish you.

Okay. Oh, yeah, absolutely. I don't have my Nerf gun with me today. All right, so we'll go from lowest to highest. Chip and Mateed, five and seven. Chipmunk. It's difficult to make out, but you, Chipmunk, you have, you give a vision while you're blinded. You have vague glimpses of an underground greenish river and caged animals.

Okay. Barney and Elga, you all see a hideous green hag, severely mangled, and it seems to be locked in a cage with animals. Oh, goodness. It was the one that let us go in. Is it Shivy?

Shivy was green? Yes. Barney and Elga, you do recognize it as Shivy. Do we get any feeling like this is currently happening or is it like a... Well, so a Hag Eye is a real eye-coded information often fitted to a pendant. We get a vision of this. It's a communication device. To see what the eye sees.

Because it went off before. Yeah. Yes. So there's a good chance you could be seeing something as it is. The animals, are they attacking the hag? No. They're in cages. No, they're just hanging. It sounds like she was like locked up with the animals.

It's like maybe a punishment. What type of creature are hags? So, yeah, hags are all fae in Groteth. Thank you. So just to answer your question. Okay, good to know. It would appear the hags are preparing to invade Parish. We must make haste to their land, stop them.

But be warned, the coven no doubt has spies all throughout the city, so we should tread carefully. So their headquarters is in Parish, or did we just escape their headquarters? You escaped their headquarters, which was that Talon HQ, which was in Coven Nord, which was like the northern part of Parish that the Coven has taken over. Remember, it was like

bordered by that river, and you all got there by going through the mausoleum. You were led there. Yeah, thinking about that they were helping us. Correct. From that underground passage from the mausoleum. Should we get back up? Because we kind of got our butt kicked and you're not Louis no more. I have a question, though.

You said that they're the strongest when all three of them are together. But it seems like one of the three is now in jail with animals. Indeed. But all that matters is proximity. Roughly how far? Like a Bluetooth connection kind of situation? It varies, but the closer, the more power. All right, we just need to get a few walls

between them and that hag. Well, you have that thing that, since people are other dimensions, I do. Well, what an interesting and perfectly placed story device How fortunate for us We are not nearly as smart to navigate this story And all these little like abilities We're doing fine, let us go

So we need to make our way through Paris We need to make sure we do not get seen or heard by one of their spies And then we have to take down some ags We're totally fine, we can do this Are they looking for us, Spidey Jacks? I mean, we escaped them, and we also fought lots of their Aglings. I imagine they are looking for us.

And we got, like, Lewis. There's probably, like, a weapon to them. While you all are talking about this, you hear a very faint... Jack! I forgot to tell you. I got, when you guys left the

Australian plane, I had a final goodbye with Jack, and he gifted me a new friend. What? What did this happen? Well, do you remember we left the room at the end of the podcast when John and Gus had a moment with Mateed? I love that we do that

because now I am... We don't know. What's the color? Oh, what was the color? Was it a little... God, make it orange. Are you kidding me? We have an orange puppet, so let's do...

I don't remember. I don't remember. There was an actual description. I'm going to get it right this time. What was it? It's gray. It's gray. It's gray.

Okay. And I did, I think I mispronounced the French pronunciation of his name, and so I'm going to try to get it correctly this time. Everyone, I would like you to meet Gigi. Gigi. Oh, Gigi.

Oh, Gigi. What a perfect cat to be with us in Paris. That was Elga doing a Parisian accent. It was great. Can I hold out my hand daintily for Gigi to sniff to see if I pass the vibe test? Yeah, make an animal hand. Come on.

It's a minus one, but I'm feeling it today. Feline it today. Eight. Gigi gives it a dainty sniff, but doesn't seem too enthusiastic about it. Fair. Maybe it's because you just wiped your butt, Chip.

A cat's love is earned. You gotta take time. You gotta trust the process, gang. Cats are animals all about consent. That's right. So if your cat hates you, it's probably because you're not being nice to it. Anyways, go on. Sorry.

Yes, I have a little kitty. This is Gigi. I love him already. Hey, Gigi, I would die for you. Interesting choice of words because the description that was read in the previous module when you all were out of the room was it's a small ghostly gray kitten. Oh, it's, it's wait,

does G is G, she actually incorporeal. Can I check? Can we make it so, because then I feel like it has a little bit of plot armor. No harm will come to this cat. Yeah. It is an incorporeal ghost.

Great. That's awesome. This is great. Yes. So he, was he just mewing just to introduce himself? Yeah. Just a reminder.

Hey. Thank you. Still here. I say, that's so cute. Welcome to the family. And I turn around and I walk away. My eyes get really big. And I'm like, I'm surrounded by dead people.

All of them are dead. I'm the only one alive. Am I dead? What is happening here? That's true. Chip is surrounded by. Potentially dead people. I dealt death out throughout my work. And now I am followed by death. I dealt death out throughout

my work and now I am followed by the dead. Or undead. I mean, I'm not dead. I'll get here to you, by the way. Yeah, she's got good hearing. She's got keen hearing. Keep that to yourself. I'm very alive. Just have lived for a long time. I mean, what seems like long because I'm a child and time feels

like it goes on very long time, you know. One year out of ten is the 10th of my life. It's crazy. Okay, so we are going to Parish and we need to be stealthy. Yeah, so y'all are going to have to try to travel stealthily. And we've done this before, like group stealth checks. But before we get to that, how do you all want to try to get back to the talent headquarters in Covenord?

Well, how far away is it? It's not terribly far. You all are, you know, just north of Parish, but you are, for where you are, you are outside the city walls. Where is Covenord located in the Parish greater? It's between you and Parish. Covenord is the northern portion of parish, so you can either go back via the mausoleum like you did before, or you can go

over the wall directly into Covenort from where you are. It's really up to you. And I think one of you even mentioned about trying to find backup. I don't know if that's something you want to pursue or not. I was going to say, should we try to rally the troops? I mean, if this place is about to be invaded, surely they'll want to bring some of the God, I can't remember what they're called, but the headless horsemen guys they had the pumpkin patches or whatever

Oh, yeah, they were like their enemies right? Cavaliers yeah, we should alert them Right Robert? You said that right as Micah sent that to me as well in Slack Like it was at the exact same moment Yes, perhaps the Cavalier could be of assistance to us in our dealings with the coven. Okay.

Let's go round up the cavalry. Here, I'll call them. Help! Help! Cavalry, help! No, what you do, you yell fire if you need help, because if people not come if you're yelling help. A bunch of firefighters are going to come our way. I'm already here.

All right? I wouldn't, hey, as a volunteer firefighter, I would not call for a false fire. I mean, oh, people just they want to start a fire. Oh, you know, we don't start fires. We put out the fires. We didn't start the fire. Am I right, Gustavo? It was always burning.

He just hates that song. Okay. So if we want to find the cavalry, but Kavanord is between us and Berish, then we would need to somehow go around, or I guess we might be able to reach it through the mausoleum, right? Right. Because there's what? There's an entrance into the mausoleum that we exited out of

that brought us out in front of that haggling town correct and so we'd have to go back in there and that could take us through to all the way to parish but then wasn't was the talon headquarters underground through there so the way that you all got there is when you went to talon headquarters initially you went into the mausoleum inside a parish and then made your way up to Talon headquarters. And then the way you left there was you went back out and then you escaped. You came out of that tree in Covenord and that's when the haglings attacked you. And you fled and climbed over the wall to leave Covenord and then end up here at where you are now. We went over a wall and then we found ourselves in Sleepy Hollow.

Okay. Correct. I don't know. How do we find the Cavalry at this point in an expeditious manner? Help! That's up to you guys. And there's not an easy... Well, you're outside of Parish. You're outside the wall. Let's go to Parish.

I just say that because Chip keeps yelling help. You're probably less likely to find them by yelling help here because you're outside the wall. Gang, let's boogie down to Parish. Let's go. Which we'd have to do by going, like, what, around the exterior of the city? No, climb the wall.

But if we climb the wall, we're in Covenord. Good Lord. Okay, I'm so sorry. Yes, yes, yes. Let's go around the wall and then climb it once we're out of the Covenord part of Parish. Is that what we could do, Gus? Yeah, you can absolutely do that.

Okay. Everyone make me a survival check to see what you remember. Oh, I'm going to pass this one. To see if you survive. 15. 9. 16.

23. Oh, okay. Everyone except for Mateed pretty much remembers this, but... Someone pointed this out last time we did a survival check and I got the lowest one. They thought it was funny

that the ghost gets the lowest survival check. There was a river that kind of cut Parish into two parts. And it was that river that divides Parish, that divides Covenord, I should say, from the rest of Parish. That's when you tried to go across that bridge.

Correct. That's where you first saw the cavalry. And that's what separates Covenord from the rest of Parish. So, ostensibly, if you wanted to get back into Parish, you could walk around the wall until you see that river, cross it, you know you're on the Parish side and then cross the wall into Parish.

That is exactly what I was going to suggest. Gotta forward the river. Nobody get dysentery. It's an Oregon Trail reference. Yeah, I got you. One of those internal laughs we had. Bombing and bombing. I had a gust of air come out my nose.

LOL, LOL, LOL. Yeah. Ella Mayo. So you're essentially northeast of Parrish, right? Let's say you're looking at the wall. You're facing southwest, looking at the wall where Covenort is. If you want to walk around the wall to get back into Parish, right? Let's say you're looking at the wall. You're facing southwest, looking at the wall where Covenort is. If you want to get, you know, walk around the wall to get back into Parish,

you could either go to your right, which is to the west, or go to your left, which is to the east of Parish. Basically, which direction do you want to climb the wall and get into Parish from? We're on the eastern side, so shortest path is a straight line,

so go down to the eastern side of Parish. Okay. For reference, that's how you all first entered Parish when you first got there a couple of episodes ago. We go that way. Yeah. Okay. You head, you know, kind of from where you are,

kind of south-ish. And then, you know, before too long, you see the river emerging from the walls of Parish. And you know that you've crossed the point where Covenord is on that wall. So, you know, you walk up to the wall again and once again you're faced with a 60 foot tall wall with no seeming way to get into it.

Help! Help! Two heads peek over from the top of the wall, looking down at you all. It's like that Lonnie Python bit. Oh! Can we see what the heads are, like who they are? Yeah, you recognize the badges of the cavalry Seems to be two members of the cavalry

Our eyesight must be real good to be able to see that From 60 feet down 60 feet? Yeah, they're big Huge emblems I quickly I quickly stopped my team from answering Oh We need to be very careful

They say that the Coven has ears everywhere, so we do not know if these are Cavalaries that we can trust quite yet. How do we test if they're the Capalaries? Are you Cavalary or are you Coven? You have to tell the truth.

It's the rules. Zone of truth. I just casted. Zone of truth. You're in the zone of truth. I don't have zone of truth. You're in the zone of truth. I don't have zone of truth. I'm glad Mateed tried to stop you guys from saying anything and it did nothing. So Gus, what happened? So they look at each other confused and then look at you two and look at you, you guys again and says, and I'm sorry, Barbara, your audio kind of clipped. What was the question you asked them?

I said, are you coven or are you cavalry? You have to tell the truth. Zone of truth. Zone of truth. Okay, I gotcha. Make a deception check, Chip. 17. Okay. Again, they look at each other and say, we are the cavalry.

Guys, I don't have zone of truth, so they might be telling the truth, they might be telling a lie, but, you know, my instinct says they're telling the truth. Now you answer us. Who are you? I'm Barney. That is true. I can confirm that he is Barney.

And you are? I am Elga Von Brass, a little girl who's very innocent and young. It's true. Every word. We are but a group of wayward travelers who were once convicted for murder, but are not the murderers.

We are good people. Zone of truth. Oh, Elga, you make me a deception check. You're not young. They don't know that. Yeah, but you got your... They're going to see if they know or not. 16. That's good. That's good. Mateed has their

eyes closed and is just focusing on breath and blanking out everything else out and just centering themselves, grounding themselves, and just being in the moment. That's what Matisse is doing right now. Okay. The two cavalry look down and say,

Okay, well, good luck. Can we have some of your luck? Their head peeks back over. What do you mean? What brings you to Paris? We're here. We love that we are big fans of Parisian cuisine. And we've come here to partake and imbibe in your luxuries.

Not murderers. We're here to die for. You make a perception check, Matide. Perception? I'm sorry, not perception. Deception. I got my wrong perception. I'm rolling it again. I rolled an eight. Matide, zone of truth. Zone of truth.

21. Oh, okay. Why do you roll again? Do you have lucky? I use my inspiration dice. Oh, inspiration. I got you. Okay. Sorry, I didn't say that. They do. They kind of nod like, Hmm, oui, oui.

The cuisine is quite good. Okay. You are me, enter. Perfect. That was the plan the entire time. Nailed it, game. That was exactly from front to back exactly what we should have done. We did. Yeah, exactly. We're so good at this. Go team. Barbara, you did it. But I imagine

Elga like pops their collar as she's saying that. Yeah, that's right. It's just a frilly little collar. Imagine Elga, like, pops their collar as she's saying that. Yeah, that's right. That's what I meant. It's just a frilly little collar. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The cavalry heads disappear behind the wall again. Okay, we now need to get up the wall.

Do you have a rope or anything? Yes, I agree. Do they pop their heads out for a third time, Gus? Yeah, their heads pop back out. Can you not just go through the wall? Oh. Um, I did. Some of us are carpal and some of us are not.

Right, then, I will help. They toss a rope over the wall. Oh, goodness. But it's the entire rope. It's not tied to anything. I grab it and fly up and tie it to something. Oh my lord, we need to get into this city. He just thrown it around the bed.

I mean, that's exactly what we asked. I want to meet these jokers. I got to give credit to Micah. That was his idea. Okay, yeah. Matida takes the rope, ties it for you all. And you all are able to heave yourselves up over the wall. Cool.

These are, you know, we said about 60 foot tall. They're pretty thick. How do all of you, except for Matide, make an athletics check just to see how successful you are in this climbing? Three. Oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh. A one. Oh, my gosh. I rolled a one. Oh, my God. I rolled a one. Oh, my gosh. I also rolled a one. Plus five.

Yeah. I rolled a one plus two. So three, six, 22. Elga, you just like scamper and fly up that rope like no problem. This is supposed to be just like a gimme roll. I was just like having you roll for the sake of having the roll. Chip and Barney, you two, like it's like gym class in middle school all over again. You cannot get up the rope to save your life.

You're just flailing around, swinging around at the end of the rope, not able to make any progress up at all. At least blame Barney being in front of me for why I can't go. You look up and it's just straight old man on boxers. Barney, please, God. Why didn't you put pants on under your

tunic? It gets hot. Oh, yeah, it does. He's right about that. Barney, Barney, you're slipping. Please. You're getting closer to my face. Barney, no. I'm sorry. Push with your head. Push with your head. I have horns, Barney. Oh, okay. I'm sorry. Push with your head. Push with your head.

I have horns, Barney. Oh, okay. I'm climbing faster. Barney, make another athletics check. Let's see if that gave you motivation to go. Elga, we could just cut the rope. We could. We could just go on.

And, you know, it would be a release that we would immediately feel. In so many ways, Matid. 19. Mental, physical, emotional. Emotional is just quite a taxing. Chip's horns give a little poke to Barney's butt and he realizes he's in danger and quickly

begins scampering up the rope that makes it to the top, clearing the way for Chip to make another attempt at it. Alright. Ah, 21. Yeah, now with the old man out of the way, you're able to easily climb up to the top of the wall and rejoin all your friends. Barney wants to mend his underwear.

Oh, okay. You've got mending, right? Yeah. I got two holes in it. Those were some holy underpants. I saw more than I cared to share with the class. All right, so y'all are over the wall and you've reentered parish on the eastern side. I think Barney and Chip's parish should now just be called Holy Pants.

All right. So what's the plan at this point? We have to go talk to the cavalry. Try to convince them to come with us. There's two dudes right there that I guess we could talk to. Are they still there or did they walk off? Yeah. Oh, they're still there.

They're loving watching you guys. Hello, friends. I know we look a lot more intimidating up here than we did down there probably because we're a lot bigger up close. But you do not have to be afraid. You are quite petite, so. Okay. Well, there's no need for that. Anyways. I pick up Elga and put Elga right face to face to them. You are quite petite, so... Okay, well, there's no need for that. Anyways...

I pick up Elga and put Elga right face to face to them. What about now? Anyway, we need your help. That's what we're here for. We've helped you so much already. That is very true, so... What restaurant would you recommend? No, Barney, Barney, Barney.

Oh, I thought we were getting food. We are getting food. We are getting food. They start reclaiming their rope and putting it back up. Listen, we've uncovered a plot against Parrish by the coven, alright? They have your leader, they have the headless horseman,

and they might be approaching and trying to uh take over the rest of the city so like this is like you know danger danger set all alarms bad stuff is happening we need your help but not fire no fire though not yet hey gus yeah i want to say this before you respond. While they're saying all this, I'd like Mateed to ready an attack. Oh, smart. In case what? In case they do something that we don't want them to do. In case they're coming.

If they do something suspicious, we'll say. That's a good word for it. Suspicious or hostile. Are you going to kick him off the wall? We'll see. Suspicious or hostile. Are you going to kick him off the wall? This is parish! The coven will never advance as long as we stand guard. That's what we're hoping. Your leader is gone.

They have him. So, like, you're, you know, not full force. And also, he could, like, influence you, you know? Like, he's, like, your leader, and you see him, you're, you know, not full force. And also he could like influence you, you know, like he's like your leader and you see him, you're like, oh, that's our, that's our dude. But you know, he could be under their mind control. Listen, it's bad stuff. Bad juju. Make a persuasion check. I was hoping you'd say that I have plus 10.

Oh, wow. It's an 18 plus 10, 28. Yeah. They seem 28. Wow. Yeah. They seem very uh about what you said one of the masks what do you mean exactly by they have our leader how do you know that what did you see okay so matide take it away because i don't know i'm no nope, nope. Gee whiz. Okay, so, all right. Do you remember a couple of days ago when there was an ice dude who had captured a lady

and then your boss was there and he like saved the day, right? That was super cool, super heroic. Okay, yeah? Ah, oui, outside the Torma Tavern. That's right, the one without the door that you have to go through the window. Okay, so. It was also like hours ago, by the way. It wasn't a couple of days ago. That's right. The one without the door that you have to go through the window. Okay, so. It was also like hours ago, by the way.

It wasn't a couple days ago. It's very recent. Right. So, that lady happened to be a hag in disguise, alright? So then, they seduced the headless horseman and they were like, you know, smooching and stuff like that. Well, we like

followed them to an outside location. And bada bing, bada boom, it's a hag. They reveal themselves. And then they were mind controlling the headless horseman. Oh, so. We don't know. They had a head. There was like a head.

Oh, yes. That's it. This head. Wee, that sounds very troubling. Big trouble. Where did you say they are? Where can we find them? Well, I'm afraid of...

We are guessing that they are probably in Covenord. Yeah. Covenord. At their headquarters in there. Yeah. Can you lead us there? I mean, yeah. Yeah.

This sounds like this requires the cavalry's full response. We should send an entire squad of six riders with you to crush their efforts. I cast Visage of the Astral Self, and I check on the inside of what they just said. Yeah, I want to roll for vibe check. I don't, this feels like they're like, oh yeah, just take us. Yeah, no, cool. So Visage of the Astral Self gives you Wisdom of the spirit, which gives you Advantage on insight checks

Which is what I want to do Okay, so yeah, then make an insight check with advantage Roll for vibe check And then after that, yeah, we'll do vibe check with Chip as well Nat 20, 26 Alright, nice, what do we get a vibe check from you as well, Chip? Okay, what am I doing? Perception? Insight, that's the one

15 If Pee-wee Herman was here you as well. Okay, what am I doing? Perception? Insight. That's the one. Fifteen. If Pee-wee Herman was here, we'd be going, ah, he said the word. He said the word. Through the line, Bart. Mateed's like, it's like the mask appears over their face. It just kind of like pops down. Yeah.

The two Cavalieri look at you a little quizzically, but both of you think that they're being sincere with their concern and their offer to send assistance with you. So there's a sarcophagus. This is the sarcophagus. What was this place called? Mausoleum. There's a mausoleum with a secret entrance underneath.

We found this because we were also hoodwinked into helping a hag, but we got in a fight with them and escaped. So I'm just like laying it all out there. I really hope you guys are on our side because like this is bad juju. Bad stuff's about to happen. We're trying to help Parrish. We want to save Parrish.

And our friend, the Headless Horseman. Yeah, your leader. You know, you all know that Parrish in general is at strong contention with the Coven. And, you know, you think that they would be very concerned about this kind of very specific intel. And these two, you know, cavalry say, We shall head to the Mazalimayu and you can show us how to get there. Okay. Yes. Should we get back up?

We will have the squad of riders join us. Okay. So that's eight of us together, or are you part of the squad? We are part of the squad. So four in addition to us. Six total. Are you tough dudes? They flex a little bit, like, oui. Oriana over here has been known to work out every now and then.

Okay. I can see. Oriana, what's your name? What's your name, fella? Ah, yes. Je m'appelle Sergeant Leozard. Ah, Leozard. That over there is. Oriana, what's your name? What's your name, fella? Ah, yes. Je m'appelle Sergeant Leozard. Ah, Leozard. That over there is Lieutenant Oriana.

Oriana, okay. Oh, salute. Not like the drinking kind, like a little, like, you know, like military. Like a salute. Not military. This isn't like a stolen valor thing. All right, let's just go. Let's go to the mausoleum.

You would actually, salute is a way to say hi in French. That's what I meant the whole time. I think he means salute, which is health, which is also a toast in Spanish. There you go. We're so cultured here. We're so cultured that we can't

keep track of them. Yeah. As we do all of our non-offensive accents, not offending anyone who actually speaks with that accent. Duolingo, hit us up. Yeah, please. We need money. Could the owl be a big bad at one point?

The Duolingo owl. I guess we go ahead and head to the mausoleum. So I was going to have you all do stealth checks to try to remain undetected. But, you know, if you found, yeah, at this point you found Cavalry instead. And essentially they're going to escort you. So I wouldn't, you aren't going to obviously have to make those stealth checks to try to move stealthily through the city. I still can if you want. I have advantage.

No, no, it's fine. So you all re-enter the mausoleum. You know, it's a white alabaster building with column porticos and floating stone sign that reads Mausoleum milieu. And just like before, there's a set of stairs that lead underground into a tomb. Why doesn't everyone make me a survival check to see if you all remember

how you actually went through here? 18. I rolled a 1 4 13 21 I actually remember that episode But I don't Now I don't Well you can just phase through things If you really wanted to

I guess It's like falling Three of you rolled pretty well Yeah Oh Yeah so I still keep I still keep failing on all the survival checks

What is going on? Also If we need the legitimacy We have those deputy badges from Weiser. Yeah, that's more of a after city thing. Yeah, but you know, it's like we're, you know, like,

hey, you know, we're also kind of you know, you know. Enforcement officers? Yeah. Well, wait, what are their badges? They're headless horsemen. They're horsemen? They're pumpkin heads? They were like a horseshoe? Right. On a pumpkin. On a pumpkin. Okay They're pumpkin heads. They were like a horseshoe. Right. On a pumpkin.

On a pumpkin. Okay. Can we get ones that have like a little gourd and were like trainees, you know? Like little badges, little cute little badges. I'm just collecting badges, you know? No? He's a Pokemon trainer. Chip, make me a wisdom check.

Uh-oh. Hmm. That's a zero. I drool. Yeah. No, there's a... This must be impossible to get something like that. Okay.

Oh, what could have been? Blaze just sitting there with his mouth open. What could have been? All right. So you all are able to remember your way through the mausoleum to get there the way that you were led before took a bunch of wrong turns so i we just had to correct guiding them yeah keep just pulling them back and guiding them along the way so once again just like before you enter talon headquarters from the southern portion and as you all are arriving pulling into this area that you know

as being talon headquarters you see that the coven is sending out what appears to be a horde of haglings via secret tunnels the secret tunnels that you just came through back towards them is the the mausoleum while all this is going on we'll say each of you can take a turn to do whatever you want let's call it like a surprise round to get ready whether it's an action, bonus action, movement, scouting ahead, getting a position, whatever you want. You said that there's a horde coming. Like, is it from one, they're all entering from one spot, and is it like from that one tunnel?

I don't understand what you're asking. That's what Gus described. You all emerged from that tunnel that you entered from the mausoleum, and as you entered, like you're kind of hiding to survey the room. A horde of haglings leaves this big room you're in back out through the tunnel you just came from, like they're heading into Parish

now. And we're trying to stop them, like ambush them. That's up to you. Everyone can take a turn. You all tell me. How do they not see us if we came out of the tunnel that they're not going into? That's a very dark cavern. Remember, it's not above ground. You all tell me. How do they not see us if we came out of the tunnel that they're not going into? That's a very dark cavern. Remember, it's not above ground. You all are underground.

And honestly, they might. I'm going to make some rules here in a bit. Okay. So this is your chance to either hide or, you know, figure out what it is that you're going to do. You all just kind of have like first jump here. Quick meta talk. If I'm wearing my cloak of displacement, can I also be wearing a robe of serpents or is it one or the other? It's one or the other.

Copy. Okay. I'm going to go into hiding and just at an advantageous spot. Actually, do I see any of the leaders? Do I spot any senior hags? Why don't you make me a perception check from here? My favorite. Eleven. my favorite 11 yeah so you you know look out back into this room and you see two of the hags in the center of the room close to that that water and that river that runs through the the middle of the

the the headquarters i'm just gonna move forward and go into hiding okay make a stealth check okay this is that advantage that's a 21 and a 21. Pretty good. All right, who else wants to go? How many is the horde, like, number-wise? Are we trying to fight them? It's a lot. Well, that's up to you.

Are we trying to fight them? I don't know. Because maybe the cavalry will come just at the right time and help fight them with us. Who knows? Yeah, they're also trying to stealthily take positions up. It looks like maybe they're trying to, you know, they're kind of coordinating, trying to figure out how to encapsulate as many as possible in here.

Because I imagine we don't want them going through this tunnel. Is there like a 10-foot radius spot that would stop them, that they would have to go through in order to enter the city a choke point yeah it doesn't quite get that thin it doesn't get all the way down to 10 feet i would say at its tightest it probably gets down to 15 17 feet somewhere in that area let's create a choke point i have a magic magic circle. I create a 10-foot radius, 20-foot tall cylinder of magical energy centered on a point on the ground that you see. And then I can choose one or more of the following types of creatures. I can choose Fae, and it affects those creatures.

They can't willingly enter the cylinder by non-magical means. If the creature tries to use teleportation to enter, they have to make a charisma saving throw. means if the creature tries to use teleportation to enter they have to make a charisma saving throw and they have disadvantage on attack rolls against targets within the cylinder targets within the cylinder can't be charmed frightened or possessed and when you cast a spell you can select a cause it's magic to operate in the reverse direction preventing a creature of the specie type from leaving the cylinder cool so i could either capture a bunch of them in the cylinder or create like a a barrier where we could fight from yeah that's super useful did you describe a choke point those 15 feet gus yes it's about 15 feet is the most narrow it gets to maybe place it in the

center and then we have two people on either side or i could also cut off a bunch of them and split them up like the two that Like the two that were, the two that were trying to split them up, I could cast the spell and keep them from leaving. Before they can even, yeah. I would say, yeah. If that's the case, we might have that at the ready.

But if we deploy it now. Well, it's a one minute cast, so I need to like do it. Oh. So I need to like do it before we go in. Okay, can I do that, Gus, where I split like the hags, the two that are bad into different groups?

They're all bad. Well, you know, the two leaders. The two hags. I'll tell you what, why don't you, Barney, you haven't rolled me one. Why don't you make me a perception check? Nat 20. Before I get to that, just so we were all on the same page about the spell, you know, I see you have all the components for that spell.

You would have to make sure you remove some, the ones that it says from your inventory okay that is a very powerful spell as you can tell so that's why it takes time to cast and it also has material components that are a little costly so just to kind of keep it in check if you can if you do end up casting it make sure you remove the necessary items from your inventory okay so yes you can totally do that and you know kind of create this choke point where y'all just came through to stop these haglings however on top of that there are the two hags in the room which there's about five feet between them if you wanted to you could try to separate them like put one inside the circle and the other one not in the circle in front of them kind of in

the middle of the room is the the Headless Horseman, who's looking at the hags as well. Off to the east is a cage filled with animals and Shivy the Hag. Out to the west is like a pile of magical oddities.

And then out to the southeast appears to be a pile of corpses. And then walking around as well, besides the horde of haglings, there's also various groups of darklings wandering around, seeming to be getting ready for some type of battle. This is real boss battle energy. And I say all this because you rolled a really good perception check, and I don't want you to think these haglings are the only thing in here

that you're facing. Gotcha. The whole army. Hey, I think that they should probably send back for more of the cavalry. I don't think six or eight dudes is going to do it. The horde, how spatially, how much space are they taking up? Like if I was to do

that 10 foot radius, how many what percentage of them would it encapsulate the horde of haglings yeah so there's quite a few of them with a 10 it was a 10 foot diameter circle 10 foot radius so i guess that would oh that's even bigger that'd make 20 so i guess they could yeah you could probably get the majority of the horde of haglings in that can i have uh i just kind of generally said, can I hide? Can I make movement towards Shivy and also still be hidden, like max out my movement without being detected?

Sure, absolutely. You rolled so well, absolutely. I have something that I want to do, but I want to give Barbara an opportunity as well. Yeah, well, I want to, we also got to finish up with Barney. I don't know if he's going to cast that or not. Yeah, I'm going to cast it. I'm just trying with the group, like, is it better you don't think it's better to to trap off all the all the bad ones

and we could just like group boom boom boom from afar or separate the the two bosses the two tags i'm assuming that that matide is gonna do that interdimensional thing to separate i'm gonna try to get shivy out of the cage so that they could potentially run away or help us in the battle so maybe we coordinate with matide to see which one i have i have a way to get shivy away but if you don't want me to do that i can do something else i mean it's totally your call i'm just saying if we're gonna if the goal is to separate them maybe barney focuses on capturing one and then matide try to teleport to the other. I don't know. We're capturing all the big hordes so we don't have to fight them

and we just deal with the bosses. Yeah, that works for me. I would say that I would lean towards, yeah, you would want to start casting that, like getting the jump. Because I think that this is like a tenuous lead on this whole thing. I don't think we're going to be...

Yeah. Yeah. But I'm curious what Elga and Mateed are going to get into. Could I? I don't know what this necessarily does. I don't think I've ever readied a spell before, but could I ready the Cone of Cold spell? Cone of Cold.

You get that from Fangfrost. From my Fangfrost, yeah. Casting time. What do you have in mind? I was just going to target a bunch of the Haglings. It's a 60-foot cone, and they have to make a constitution saving throw. Otherwise, they take 8d8 of cold damage. Brr. So what would you wait for?

Like for them to get close right up on you and then you cast it? Or what's your plan here? Yeah, just to kind of see like the majority of them group up to like really make the most of that 60-foot cone. Sure. So you're going to kind of position yourself and wait for them to get closer and then spring it on them. Yeah.

Tell me what, so it sounds like you're going to want to be hiding to do that. So why don't you make me a stealth check to see if you can try to make sure they get as close as possible before you spring that. Nice weapon.

It's a beautiful, beautiful dagger you got there. I don't hear anything. Chip is still hiding. A nice knife, beautiful knife. Wow. What a nice knife. Beautiful knife. Wow. That's an 11. All right. Is that it for you, Elga?

Am I also allowed to rage now? If you want to. Just hold on. But don't forget, yeah, if you don't attack or take damage within the next round, it goes away. Okay. I'll hold on. But yes, that's it for Elga. Okay.

Mateed? How far is Shivey from me? From where you all entered, Shivey's kind of on the farthest east wall. I'm going to do some quick counting. We're facing north, right? Yeah. I'd say roughly 100, 120 feet, something like that. Okay.

And your movement speed is, that's the distance you can go in one turn, which is... Correct. Six seconds, ten seconds? Six seconds. Six seconds. Okay. I want to incorporeal move into the ground and then head towards Shivy. Okay.

So since you're giving us this opportunity to take a turn, basically, I can go my distance to Shivy. Yeah? Yeah. So are you talking about double move? Yeah, I can go my distance to Shivey. Yeah? Yeah. So you would like, are you talking about like double move? Yeah, I guess. Let's say yes, I'm asking that. Yeah. Okay. You could totally do that. Then I can get all the way underneath Shivey.

Okay. Great. So to recap, are we going to say something? I'm going to double move if that's the case. So that's 80 feet plus I'm going to do the hide which what god what is that called action yeah where are you moving to i was also going to move towards shivy just kind of in that general back area i want to get the jump on them i want to like go around as much as i can okay so if matid ends their turn inside an object or creature, they take 1d10 force damage. Ooh. Yeah, I'll take it.

Okay. Should I just roll? Roll it. Four. I take four damage. That's not terrible. Okay, so to recap, Chip double moves while hiding, trying to close the distance to Shivey. Gets most of the way there with 80 feet. Barney is starting to cast that spell. We can say it goes off here pretty

quick, right? Since you already started casting it. And you were casting it to create the choke point right not to split the hags i should probably split the hags right i'll split i need a decision i'll split the hags and get as many of the other hags in as possible like trying to split taglings in in there as possible so the haglings are nowhere near the hags okay well then i'll. Well, then I'll just split the hags. So you want to cast it basically on one hag without the other one, right? So that they're... We can fight them separately.

And then Elga is kind of hiding, waiting for the haglings to get closer to use Kona Cold on them. Yes. And Mateed is underground, under Shivey, and at their turn there. Taking four damage. Just go, ooh!

You just hear a muffled grunt. As you are sneaking over, Chip, the hag-eye in your possession suddenly glows with a green light, and you hear a shriek of laughter bellow from the purple and blue hags. The green hag cries out from the nearby cage. Chip! Chirac and

Skitch begin chanting. We can't see you. You've got a beacon in your pocket. Shrek and Skitch join hands and their feeble figures rise into the air. Shivey's cage also rises into the air behind them. On each of their foreheads, a third green eye appears. Oh! One claw!

Three talents! Our coven united! Three hags! One sisterhood! Our powers ignited! All three hags erupt with sickly green flames and a shockwave booms throughout the cavern. For the first time since you've seen them,

all three hags no longer appear as decrepit old crones, but instead a trio of fearsome and formidable witches. Everyone roll initiative. Oh my god. I respond, purple skin, two horns, ten fingers, two middle fingers, one tail. Five. We can see you.

I just love that. Nineteen. Twenty-one as well. All right. So when we come back next week, we're going to have Elgin Barney leading us off with Chip, then Mateed, and we'll see what happens in the next week's episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon.

Oh, God, so much to remember. I want to fight. This is bad. This is bad. Mateed just has to hang out underground for a week. Yeah. How much damage? Mateed will be gone forever.

I'm going to re-roll a new character when we come back. But Teed comes back up out of the ground. We have a Gum Gum shirt that just came out. Oh, yeah. When this episode comes out, the Gum Gum shirt will have just come out, as well as our dice tray. So go check this out.

Maybe make a purchase here to help us finish out our push in Stinky Wary that we're going through right now. Gump Gump shirt looks awesome. Looks like an 80s like a Led Zeppelin album cover or something. It's real groovy. Very classic D&D. Go check

it out for yourself at StinkyDragonPod.com slash store. It looks great. Thanks for listening everybody. Bye bye. Bye bye.com slash store. It looks great. Alright, thanks for listening, everybody. Goodbye! Bye-bye! Say goodbye, John. Au revoir. Hey guys, did you know that you could directly support the show by subscribing at stinkydragonpod.com

slash first? We've got some amazing little stinkers this week we want to shout out who are supporting the show, starting with Computator Jones. Love the name. We got Vincent Shadow, Voodoo Sock Monkey. These are all great names. I love them. The Vatiken? The Vatican. Oh, I get it. Sometimes I figure things out as I'm reading them. Then we have Dula Chan. Love it. Thank you guys so much. You guys are directly supporting the show and you get more great

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Listeners that interacted with us this week on social media and Discord had NPCs named after them on this episode. We had Sergeant Leazard the Cavalry Rider named after at laser underscore lizard on Twitter, who was voiced by Micah Reisinger at Micah Reisinger. We also have Lieutenant Oriana the Cavalry Rider, who's named after at Keruali or Kero on first. Sorry if I mispronounce your name. I'm usually terrible at it. So I'm parring the course. We also have Shivvy the Green Hag named after user Shivvy. I never get that right on Reddit. Voiced by the wonderful Laurel Rothamel at

Laurel Rothamel on social media. We have Skitch the Blue Hag, who's named after at Jessica Sketches on Instagram, voiced by also the wonderful Jessica Vasami at Jessica Vasami on social media. And lastly, we have Chirac the Purple Hag, named after just Chiracumo on Twitter, voiced by Murphy Geschwind. Thank you, Murphy, who is at Sunny Shore City. Additionally, The Alchemist, voiced by BlizzBear at BlizzBear. We love you. The Stinky Dragon channel is managed by Ben Ernst. This episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon

was produced by Kai Cooke, written, edited, composed by Micah Reisinger with additional editing work by David Saunier. Head over to stinkydragonpod.com slash first for all things stinky and tune in next time for another thrilling episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon. That's funny. My Google search, expensive Yu-Gi-Oh cards.

I've never played. You didn't know that? No. I think there was a video. Yeah, my blue eyes. Yeah, my blue eyes. My blue eyes. It's an RTAA about that. Yeah, yeah.

It might be the only Yu-Gi-Oh card I know. Still cracks me up.