Tales from the Stinky Dragon - Tavern Tales - Infantnights: Part One - The Quarter-Pint Quest

Episode Date: September 24, 2025

Introducing the Infantnights, the world's bravest babies! And they have one mission: find a birthday present for everybody's favorite Firbolg prince, Mudd. But where do toddlers lacking coin go to get a gift for a diapering druid? Find out in part one of this ankle-biting adventure. And continue the quest with part two, available now for all of our paid patrons @ stinkydragonpod.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Okay, flights on Air Canada. Oh, wow. Mayorka, that's new. Oh, nice. But Vienna is a classic Mozart, palaces and schnitzel. Mm-mm, now you're cooking. If you're hungry, deli brings the heat. Heat.

Cartagena's got sun and the sea to cool off. So does Martinique. Mmm, and that French cuisine? Book it. Yes, chef. Wait, what about Lyon? Choose from our world of destinations if you can. Air Canada.

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A cabana? That's a no, but a banana, that's a yes. A nice tan, sorry, nope. But a box fan, happily yes. A day of sunshine? No. A box of fine wines? Yes. Uber Eats can definitely get you that. Get almost, almost anything delivered with Uber Eats. Order now. Alcohol and select markets. Product availability may vary by Regency app for details. Hey, everybody, John here.

This was a Tavern tale that we performed live on our YouTube channel to celebrate our one-year anniversary as a business. We've now edited it down and added that audio magic you expect from Stinky Dragons so you can enjoy it right now. And once you're finished, good news. Part 2 is already available for all of our paid patrons. So when you're done with this one, there's more kidding around with the kids waiting for you. Enjoy. And thank you again for supporting us through an entire year. Oh, I think we're live, live. I don't think I had to push the button.

Hi, everybody. Welcome to the stream. A year of being independent and we're still learning how to stream properly. I'm John Reisinger and I'm here to welcome you guys to a wonderful anniversary stream for us. We have been independent for a whole year, technically yesterday. And we have been able to do that and do things like keep our lights on, run the AC, have internet. to play Pokemon games because of you guys. Our community, our listeners, our Patreon supporters, all of you, anybody who just listens to anything Stinky Dragon,

it is your fault, it is your support. And so we thank you for that. It's been amazing, like, be honest, just for one second before we get into the shenanigans of some fun entertainment. It's insane that we were able to all lose our jobs in one fell swoop and then we were able to hit the ground running with our own company getting to make Stinky Dragon full time and it is something

I'm still grateful for every single day with the most genuine sentiment I can muster. So thank you guys so much if you even just listen to the show, you're the reason why we're able to still be us and that's been great. And speaking of being us, what we have for today

to celebrate with you guys, our anniversary, we got a few things to celebrate with you. And one of them is that we do have, obviously we want to ask like, Hey, if you want to support us on Patreon, we would love you to support us on Patreon. This is a great time to buy a year. Just have a year of great content set up and ready to go for you guys all year long. It's not a bad thing.

And then on top of that, we have some merch in the store. That is also some celebratory merch. We will have even more merch to announce very soon. That is linked to the Patreon tier that you subscribe to. So if you're a little stinker, you get some little stinker merch. If you're big stinker, you get the little stinker merch and big stinker merch that you can buy. So, we've got a bunch of stuff like that coming down the line. And yes, as you guys can see from my little bug, we are going to play some D&D today.

And I am DMing. I'm letting everyone else play. I'm letting everyone else have shenanigans. I'm taking on the challenge of one, DMing live on YouTube with y'all, which is frightening. And two, I'm doing it with a lot of people, the most amount of people we've ever had play at the same time. get ready for some oddities. Just get ready for it. It's going to be a lot.

But I hope you guys have some fun. And if you guys are ready to have some D&D fun here on a Monday, a random Monday at the beginning of June, also happy pride. We can get started with that, okay? All right, get settled. Get your drinks. Get your blankies. And let's have some fun.

Okay? And I present to you the infant nights. We open on what looks to be the backyard of a quaint home in the suburbs of the town. of Boulderey. Looking around the scene, one would spot the usual domestic accoutreement, typically found in a family yard, a red tricycle sitting on the porch, a clothesline where fresh laundry is drying in the summer sun, and nestled near the back of the yard, atop a tall oak tree sits a wooden treehouse. At first glance, one might be so bold as to judge

the construction of such a structure as shabby or uneven, but upon closer look, you'd find character and charm in the build of such an arboreal abode. At the bottom of a rope ladder that ascends to a manhole entrance rests a crudely written sign in crayon declaring heroes only, nobody's allowed. Aloud is obviously spelled A-L-O-U-D. The treehouse itself is designed to look like a makeshift fortress, ready for siege from any would-be attackers. Along a balcony jutting out from front of the house sits a cachet of the house.

of water balloons, and a pair of binoculars duct taped to a wooden stand. A crow's nest of sorts sits atop the whole building with what looks to be a bucket filled with arrows tipped with suction cups. And inside this verdant villa is where we find our heroes of this story. Sitting criss-cross applesauce on a multicolored rug in the middle of a room, we see a halfling, an elf, and a half-org who seemed to be having a heated discussion over who should be the leader of their band of misfits. The halfling, a stout toddler

with a full head of messy, curly, orange hair stands up to his full height and declares, in a diminutive but forceful voice... I am the boss of this place. Perfect. The elf, a lanky boy with long blonde hair and clothes covered in grass stains and dirt spots from what looks to be too many attempts at acrobatics,

rolls backwards in an awkward yet impressive reverse somersault, and springs to his feet shouting, Action change! Was that cool? Did you guys you guys impressed? The half-orke... Don't ignore me! The half-orke wearing an origami pointed hat

made of newspaper and a patchwork diaper stitched together from various cloth materials rises to join the other two standing around him. Clearly the youngest of the three, his ascent is slow and careful, like a newborn foal. At his full height, despite clearly being younger than the other two, he stands an inch taller than even the elf. He smiles exposing a single tooth

that can be seen amongst a wide, gummy grin, and says, I think that I should be in charge of everyone, and as my first order of being in charge of everyone, I want to put Bart in charge. Welcome the infant knights to their tree house. Welcome. How are you guys going to decide who's your leader? Let's take a vote.

Well, I think the answer is pretty obvious. It's going to be the biggest person here, which is me. Well, as the leader of this group, I am proud that you have all elected me unanimously to be the head honcho. I want to thank my right-hand man Bart. And my left-hand man, GumGum, and Mud, my butt man. And as my first act of class president, I did band everyone gives backflips. Okay. Do you guys do backflips?

This is actually what's Rick, but I agree. Let's go. Bart does one of those, you know, when you try to, like, set yourself up for a cartwheel, but you just, like, full sprinted and just, like, put your hands on the ground and do a little hop. Yeah. Yeah, that's what he does. Very nice. What does Gum Gum gum do?

Gum gum just flips onto his back. Like, jumps, and just belly flops, but it's a backflop? Yes. Perfect. I'm sure that'll be great for the structure of this tree house. I just thought about the weight capacity of the treehouse. What's the, is that OSHA that's supposed to make sure that stuff to code? Just then, the rope ladder connected to the entrance at the front of the room goes taut.

And a brass bell attached to it by a sharp. ring rings and alarm. All three of you look at the entrance, and what do you do? I draw my bow and arrow. I would go over and call out and say, Who goes there? This is sacred territory.

Only the finest of adventurers may join us. What about gum gum gum? Gum gum covers his eyes. Okay. Perfect. Up through the manhole pokes the head of a dwarven child, breathing heavy and sweating from his climb.

The boy plops. down onto the floor of the treehouse, too exhausted to move any further. The only physical feet he can muster is to awkwardly roll slightly to one direction, to shift something strapped to his back to his side so that he may lay flatly to catch his breath. What that thing is, is it's green and it's a wooden loot. Oh, no. Hey, guys, I just, I feel, I feel like I heard you guys were all hanging out to and I thought it would be a lot of fun if maybe you had some music to go along with the hanging out, and I figured maybe I could hang out with you.

Who invited Sleek? You told him you're here. I was like, I'm going to wait for Blaine to respond. Sleek, so good to see you. Wow. Oh, my best friend. I'm so glad. I'm so glad you're here. I'm so glad I got the invite. Wow. I didn't realize you guys were best friends from such an early age. I, yeah, yeah. Sleek, I thought I didn't I send you on a very important quest across the woods. Did you, you're back so soon. Yeah, you fired an arrow out into the woods and told me that. It was really

important. I'd bring it back. And so I went out there and I spent all night looking. I stoured everywhere. I went to Smarsh's Cavern. I went to where that, that burdo thing was that we found at one point. Uh-huh. And I eventually like found it. Uh,

fired into the tallest tree in the deepest part of the wood. He would have known. Wow. You want to play again? Is it safe to open my eyes? You want to play again? Gumb Gumb, you could open your eyes. It's sleek.

Hey, Gumbgum. Hi. Sleek, I feel like you're forgetting something. Could you roll me a wisdom check? Oh, yeah, anything for you, DM. That's going to be a solid 13. Oh, okay. That's a fantastic roll.

Sleek, you remember. Today is a special day. And you actually brought some friends along for that special day. It's Mudd's birthday today. It's Mudd's birthday, and he's having a birthday party. And you just remembered about it, and you brought some friends along. Did anybody remember to get mud present? Gum Gump jumps down off the tree house and starts grabbing mud from the dirt.

You jump out of the tree house that is up at the top of an oak tree? Yes. How much damage? you take in? I was going to say, why aren't you roll? That's just fall damage. You want to rethink that? How high up are we? You're a, like a two-year-old on the top of a oak tree. I mean, I said I did it. I'm just going to commit it. I mean, you said you'd said it, but I know often you do not think about the surroundings of what we're in. So do you want to, do you want to roll for damage? Gus said one D6 per 10 feet. Okay. How high is the tree house?

So that's going to be all your health. Let's say we are only. 10 feet up. So why don't you roll 1D6 for damage? Three. Not bad. Very good. Three damage already to GumGum. Well, actually, when Gumgum lands at the bottom of the tree, Gumgum, you see some people out there.

Oh, no. They're trying to steal my birthday present for mud. Do you want to maybe tell your compatriots about seeing some people out there with you? Guys, the party has already started down here. Come look. There actually might be my birthday present for you, Mud. I invited a little bit of a performer. What?

Yeah. They're like a comedian. Talk about hair a lot, though. So, like, I don't really know if, like, that's their schick. So you all rush to the treehouse windows, I assume, to see what Gumgum is talking about. And as you peer down into the sun-drenched yard below, sure enough, there they are. a tiny cobald with oversized glasses and a lizard folk whose eyes

never seem to be pointing in the same directions. I wonder if we could build a ramp instead of a rope ladder? I have crutches and it doesn't really make it up there. I have a hammer. It's fine. I'll start building it. It'll be okay. Khyborg is the strongest person I know. He can pull you up.

Let's get this party started. I call down to, what's doctor, but, like, pre-doctorate at him? Hey, you could just call me doc. Okay, I call down to doc and hairless hutch, I say, hey, guys, be careful down there. There's a lot of dirt that was, it was dry before, but then someone had to use the bathroom, so now it's mud. It's mud's birthday. It must be him. I don't know.

I'm not asking questions. Just be careful of the mud. Don't go rolling around in it. Where's gum gum? I'm rolling in it. Well, I'm trying to collect it. I just imagine gum gum, like, you know, and you see like those pugs that are just like doing that back,

like roll kind of thing they're doing. That's gum gum gum out there. Well, it is, in fact, Mudd's birthday. He's having a party today. Mud's not here with you guys. That's the way I'm going to solve mud, not having to play mud for the rest of this.

He's celebrating his birthday without him here. Well, you don't have a birthday present. So I need you guys to solve for that. Oh, okay. And I guess he wouldn't like my hairless Hutch gift. 20 minutes of stand up straight. I thought he would have loved it. Starting now.

All right, God, you guys look like a great crowd. He's coming out today. Man, what's going out with this weather lately, right? It's got your hair all frizzy, I bet, and all the humidity. Why don't you describe that to me? Tell me what that's like. Khyborg's laughing. Wait, does Khyborg have both of his arms?

Okay, so I wanted some clarification, John. Before we, like, not to get too meta. Sure, we get meta. When we have weapons, do we have weapons? Or is Kiborg's bow and arrow, like a little suction air, like toy arrow gun thing? Actually, I appreciate you bring that up, Blaine, because I wanted to set some standards here of what we're playing around with. This is not a canonical story of these characters and their babies.

This is the alternate reality version of the Infifinites akin to like Muppet Babies. Muppet Babies was not necessarily a Muppet lore. In fact, the Muppet lore has always changed throughout the years. So this is a non-canonical version. So it's up to you guys, but yes, this is like you guys are the babies. Okay, so you guys probably have little baby versions of what you're doing. But, you know, your weapons need to be doing damage because you guys are fighters.

So, yeah. Then Barb, to answer your question, I would still have my metal arm. Okay. Yeah. Guys, have you seen my parents lately? I don't know. Have you seen mine? We're not getting into that for this adventure.

This is a fun adventure. And to have some fun, I need everyone to roll a history check. Oh, okay. Minus one. I'm great at history. Oh, I also have a minus one. Best friends. You want to go get another arrow?

18. 18? 12. 12? 18. 18. 18. 17.

Who got 19? Me, sleek. And 15 for Bart. Okay. So with a 19, sleek, you actually remember that Lady Siltmeyer, Mud's aunt. She lives only two blocks from here. Her and Mud, they're very close.

And she's probably sure to know, like, a good idea of what to get Mud for his birthday. If you guys are looking for ideas. Hmm, okay. Yeah, I think we could go just visit Mud's aunt. And maybe they can tell us. I already got my gift. I don't know if you guys have an idea.

I got this arrow from the tallest tree in the deepest part of the forest. But I'll help you guys get your gift to. I mean, we don't have jobs. We don't have school because it's summer vacation. Yeah. I'm down for an adventure. And we don't have parents. You know, responsibility.

If you are wont, I can give you homework, though. Oh, no, no, no. Bart slowly just edges to push. Dr. Hemp. More for me. Aw. I'm really being

endeared to Dr. Hems. It's very much Steaky Dragon Adventures, Dr. Ahem, is what we're getting. Yeah. Great. So you guys want to head out to Lady Silb Myers?

Yes. Do it. Yeah. Let's go. Two blocks. We should be there by nightfall. Bart climbs down the rope. Being very clear what you're doing.

Oh, that's what that's for. Oh. man, I just got up here. Okay, so you all climb down and you join as a party of the six and you guys start heading out to where you know Lady Silthmeyer lives. We're going to have a little function here when you guys

change location. You guys are going to do a travel check. After all, you guys are like three-year-olds walking around a neighborhood. So I need you guys to roll me a check to see how well you travel. So everyone roll me a survival check. All right. Who do?

Ben, the sleek, what did you roll? I got a Nat 1. Okay. Not it. On surviving? Is that what the not it is? You got it. We got a one from Sleek, 23 from Bart, 9 from Hutch, 19 from Gum Gum, 14 from

Kaiborg, Kai baby, and a hem. I got a three. Okay. I also want to point out, I rolled. The Nat 20. Yeah. But with the three, it's... Well, Bart, Gumg, and Kaiborg, you guys managed to traverse the streets fine.

Hutch, you got distracted. You found a gumdrop on the floor and ate the gumdrop. It had some hair on it from being on the ground. So you have disadvantage on intelligence and wisdom checks until after your next battle due to Sugar Rush. I'm not good at those anyway, so it's fine. And sleek, you stepped in fresh pavement while you guys were walking around. And so you have half speed until you can find something to clean it off.

Oh, man, I was look, I dropped my gum drop and I stepped in this pavement. I don't know where I am. If there's one thing my loving parents have always told me, it's that I am a follower, not a leader. And so I need someone to help me out. Guyborg. At least you had parents. It's okay. Add a gum drop at the beginning of this adventure, too.

And then a hem or doc? Yes. You found a raccoon, and you tried to pet the raccoon, so I'm going to need you to roll an animal handling check to see if it attacks you. It's fun when they handle you back as well. Let's see. Animal handling is a plus one, so 17.

Oh, okay. You handled it, fine. It didn't attack you. I had my field guide ready. Yeah. You got distracted, but you recover. Okay, so you guys make your way downtown and the party eventually finds their way to the gated entrance of a lush, landscaped garden. As you unlatch the gate and head in, you are amazed to find yourself amidst a plethora of different biomes,

each filled with their own unique plants and vegetation, all coexisting in this one yard. You follow this winding dirt path till your meandering leads you to the front porch of a house carved into an enormous, sycamore tree sitting on a rocking chair sorting little seeds into little pouches sits a graying old fearbog woman humming a tune a couple of you catch from your peripheral vision what looks to be some of the plants swaying to the rhythm of her song oh would you look at you little weeds popping up what i least expected what brings a band of grubby little sprouts to old siltmeyer's porch this fine growing hour uh hello milady uh Oh, God. Just a term of endearment, not anything else, not suggestive in any way. Um, is it true that you are related to the mud bramble crack? Oh, of course, that's my little muddy daddy. I love him so much.

And is it true that you give out full candy bars during Halloween? Because you are so rich and live in a gated community? Um, yes, I. I do love to be generous with the little ones around that time, although it is summer, so I don't have them with me right now. Oh. Oh, okay. Fair enough.

Well, I do appreciate you giving us a new nickname for my Muddy Duddy. That's great. I'm going to be using that from now on. We will definitely bully him with that later. But I'm here with some of my compadres behind me. I am the team leader, Bart, of course, as we all decided equally. Oh, well, congratulations. And we're on the hunt for the perfect birthday gift for mud, Muddy Duddy.

And we're hoping you give us some guidance there. Oh, yes, a gift for little mud. Yes, yes, I might know just the thing. But, you know, my poor old mind more tangled than my morning glories. See, my memory's a bit unrooted these days, but I do find I recall things best when I play my favorite game. plant-based riddles. Yay. Oh, yay.

Hairless Hatch is really excited about riddles. I hope there's some puns in here. Inspiration dice to Gus for a yes-ending lady Soapmeyer. Listen, I know people were not, you guys were not a fan of Skowville to stumper, but I had fun with him, so I'm hoping it comes back around. So she stands up with a surprising amount of, like, sprightliness and reaches into a nearby watering can

and pulls out a tiny little notebook made of pressed leaves. Gritting, she addresses you all again, and she says, If you seedlings can answer a few of my flora-fueled riddles, maybe I'll remember where that special toy is buried in my brain box. What do you say, my darling, dirtlings, do you accept the riddle of the roots? I do love brain teasers. Let's do it. Okay, so this is going to be a riddle game,

and so each player, I'm going to give you, you guys are going to answer this one at a time. is what I want. I'm making this a little challenging. But you guys can each roll an intelligence check for your turn. And if you roll low,

you're going to get a harder riddle. If you roll high, give me an easier one. And you have to guys get enough to satisfy Lady Silp Myers so her memory can be unlocked, okay? And just to clarify, I have disadvantage on this role.

You do. All right, who would like to go first? Oh, please. Let Khyborg go. As leader of this team, I am happy to go first and show my fellow compatriots, who's in charge? All right, roll me in intelligence, check. Okay. I give a knowing look to part.

Okay, all right. We crunch the numbers there. That's a one. I don't know why he made eye contact with me on that. I think it messed you up. What did you roll, Tyborg? I rolled a one. Right.

Oh. Okay. What is a frog? favorite flower. Uh, that would be a lily. Oh, I can see where you'd go with that. Uh, that's, that's not correct.

Do you want to take maybe one more stab at that? Uh, can I phone a friend and call my friend Gunther? I'm stumped. I don't know, man. I just, I'm here for the candy bars. I don't know. That would, of course, be a crocus. Oh.

That's a kind of flower? I've never heard of that. I've never lied about flowers, and I've never heard of it. Well, Gum Gum, would you like to go next? Okay. All right. Roll me a check. I rolled a nine, which is pretty good for Gumma.

Yeah, yeah. I'll give you an easier one for that. Gumgum, what kind of flower grows on your face? Hmm. Oh, it seems your friend Bart might have some to help. help to give you. There's ear, not ear or nose. What is it, part?

What if I give him a clue? I will let you help him if you can roll a stealth check for me. You can be sneaky. Ooh, that's fun. That's a good way to do that. I rolled a one plus five. There have been so many critical fails so far. I started sneaking over and I trip over and I take gum gum,

down with me. You know how kids are when they just fall down and they just get up and they just, yeah um gum gum do you want to make a guess i'll i'll give you a hint it has to do with something on the lower part of your face the lower part yeah a chin chin little higher little higher mouth yes right around there mouth teeth teeth mouth beard what else is there no no what else is there around the mouth getting colder getting a bit cold lips lips uh uh does gum gum gum have a beard He's the hairiest baby ever. How many lips you got?

Two lips. Oh, yes, gum gum, you got that all on your own. I'm so proud of you. I do like chin, chin. Chin chin nose, chin mustache beard. Okay, who would like to go next? I'll go. All right.

Sorry, hedge. Roll me that check. And I go ahead. You're a star. I'm just a supporting character here. Oh, but Hutch, you're a star in my heart. 19. Oh, that's a very good role. But what kind of tree can fit into your hand?

A palm tree. You were so quick with that, just a sharp little halfling, aren't you? You know, hey, I like to think I'm a pretty big, smart halfling. Um, Hutch, did you want to go next? Yeah. All right, roll that check for me with a disadvantage. That's right. It's going to be great. 16 and 16.

Oh, good rolls, good rolls. Okay. I'm very smart. Yes, you are. Hatch. What kind of plant is known for its roar? Roar. Does Kaibor want to try to stealthily help Hutch? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Roll me that stealth check. It's a 13. I'll allow that. Hulch, yeah, yeah, what? Stop, stop touching my hair. Yeah, it smells real good. I know, thank you. Are you using a new conditioner?

Please stop, just focus up. You blow on it, you blow on it, and then the seedling spread. You know what I mean? Oh, oh, oh, yeah. Yeah. A sunflower. Oh, you were so close. I do love me a sunflower, but unfortunately the answer is a dandelion.

You were looking for a dandelion. That one, yeah. Were you serious just in Hutch? Where is that real? Would you accept it, Tiger Lily? You pull it on sunflowers? Hutch's intelligence is nine. I don't think...

That's being in character. In character, I don't think he's got it. All right, let's keep going. I'm loving this, and it is... I'm unlocking my memory. It's helping. We're almost there. You hear a...

You hear a kachunk, kachunk, kachunk. And around the corner, slyke-covered in page. and concrete boots. Hey guys, what are we doing? I made it. Don't worry. I've been here the whole time. What's going on?

Sleak. I do love that we just keep cutting in front of, I am. Sleek, roll me in intelligence check. So you can go. It's fine. No, I kind of like this narrative. I'm going, I'm ready to go. 18.

That's great. That's a great role. All right. My dear little sleek. What? He's a chicken's favorite plant. Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I got this, got this. Chicken's, chicken's favorite plant. Chicken's favorite plant.

Do I know any chickens? You're a chicken. Kipe works right over there. What's my favorite plant? It could be anything. It could be anybody, and he just looks around. Or is doing one of those things where he's like not making eye contact. Do you want to make a...

I guess that it, baby? Is it, is my favorite plant poison ivy? No. A chicken's favorite plant is an eggplant. Oh, that makes a lot of sense now that I think about it. That was my second guess. That was, yes. I'm sure it was.

Doc, would you like to play the game? Oh, I can play now. Okay, great. I thought this was all you, not me, okay. Why don't you roll me an intelligence check? I rolled an eight. Duck, where do vegetables go after work for drinks? Where do vegetables go after work for drinks?

Um, I know it's not a tavern. Uh, let's see. Vegetables would go to the produce aisle at the market. I think he's on to something. I think he's on to something. Let him cook. Yes, that's not quite right, but you're heading in a direction. I'll give you one more try.

Do you think maybe you could take a guess at this? Didn't we want to... Now she's just asking for you guys to help. Yeah. Doc. I'm mostly familiar with the Latin roots of all these plants. So, yes, any help could be... It would be useful.

Where do you go for drinks? A bar? Starbucks. Can you put the question in a sentence? What's the country of origin? Can you spell it for me? A salad bar. Salad bar.

I was just going to say it. Oh. write that down for later you're still you're so close i'm just so eager to to keep playing this forever but i do want to help you with the party i have a question for you if i may ma'am sure what was your last name again bramblecrack bram bramblecrack okay siltmeyer well my name is silkmire okay so it's not euthanaya oh dear he no okay all right right does someone else want to take another staff at another rhythm Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

How about, let's have some fun. I'm just having such a good time. Everybody can participate with this one, okay? I'm really excited to answer this, but I don't want to steal the limelight, so I think Bart should answer this. You know, it's like, I didn't realize how smart of a guy you were. What kind of bean, a sticky bean, doesn't grow in a garden? What kind of bean doesn't grow in a garden?

Yes. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Hatch, do you have an answer? Yeah. A human being. You know, that's a good one. That wasn't the answer, but I'm going to take that one. Lady Silumire likes your cleverness so much and gives you that one, okay?

How about just one more for me, just for fun? One more for just for fun. Can you guys tell me what vegetable rings when you shake it? Oh, you guys are all into this now. Punch got that. I saw Doc. Yes, I was thinking it's a bell pepper. That's so correct.

Oh, you guys have done so well. I was going to say onion ring. Oh, that would have been so good as well. Bonus points to you, Sleek, okay? I like that. That is probably Sleek's favorite vegetable. It is my favorite vegetable. Oh, well, Patunias and Pionis,

you clever little sprouts actually did it. You've rattled the roots of my memory loose. Woo! She spins in place with like this joy and nearly knocks over a hanging planter as she does it. And she says, excited with her eyes twinkling. Oh, yes, oh yes. I remember now the perfect gift for a young muddy-duddy.

Something magical, something dirty, something made just for burrowing babies and bashful badgers. She leans it at this point for like dramatic effect and lowers her voice to like a theatrical kind of whisper. And she says, It's called the burrow box. It's a toy chest unlike any other. It's buried deep beneath the Boulder playground, at the park playground.

In the tunnels, only the bravest of babes dare to explore. She reaches into an empty flower pot next to her and pulls out these three small, square-cut, like, pieces of dirty canvas. And she holds them out in her hand. She says, these will help you when you need them. Three dirty canvases, do they have anything on them? No, they seem to be just squares of dirty canvas, just blank. like a painting canvas thing? Like canvas bag that you would like

hold like a fertilizer or potatoes in. Okay. Okay. I'll take one. Okay. There's one for Hutch. I don't have any hands because I have crutches, so yes. I think, you know, we hired Hairless Hutch, so why don't we put him to work?

Oh, is Hairless Hutch hired? Is he contract work? Hired as Mudd's birthday gift. Okay, so he's contract work? Yeah, yeah. Then, uh, ladies still in our hands, all three to Hutch. You guys, let me know if you're in a hairy situation, and I'll come to the rescue. That's a good tagline for a business.

I feel like you could, you really get, there's something there. Okay. Now, go on, you garden gnomes in training, find that box, and make sure mud has the best birthday a fear bog ever had. And with that, Lady Silumire, claps her hands together, and with the dusty puff of, like, potting soil, she disappears from the porch. That's a lot of pressure. Thanks, Mrs. Downfire.

We killed her. You guys all saw. her, right? That wasn't just like a figment of my imagination. You guys turn around all of a sudden you're in an empty lot and there's nothing there. No, just kidding. It was a whole bunch of dreamer. Yeah.

Guys, I don't think we should have got into that house that had the tint canopy surrounding it. There's really foggy in there. Striped canopy. You look over here. This hutsches on his back. We're all just talking to a lamp.

Just the tail shriveled up and curled up. What are you guys? guys do? I think we got ahead to the playground, guys. Yeah. Let me head out first. I'll, I'll meet you guys there. Canchunk. Do we know where it is? Or do we have to like, yeah, you guys, do you guys know what the playground is? You guys have been there quite a lot. I mean, Gum Gum might not, but we would. Yeah, maybe, maybe someone hold Gumgum's hand so he doesn't cross too many streets without looking. Not it. I'll do it. And Gumgum holds his own hand. So with that, since you guys are deciding to travel again, let's do another skill check, another travel check.

Small roll. Excellent. Give me a survival roll. Oh, man. I will take up the rear. 21. 21. 18.

18. 8. Gum, with an 8. Oh, yes. 18. 18. Solid 9. 9 for sleek.

And, uh, doc. 13. Lucky number. Another 13. So then that is, these other survival checks. Uh, Bart, Hutch, Kai baby, and we'll say doc. I'll let you have this one. You guys make it there, uh, no problem.

But gum, gum, Um, you get distracted by a butterfly at one point, and you can't continue the journey until someone figures out an idea of how to get your attention back. Not it. Oh, my goodness. Does someone want to help Gum Gum? I will help. How are you going to help him?

Um, I, for moments like this, I've crafted my own butterfly, uh, made with shiny paper. Oh. So that any time Gum Gum gets distracted by butterflies are other objects. I know that he's a fan. I pull it out and I start flopping it. It's just aluminum foil. You said shiny paper, but it's just aluminum foil. Magic, magic paper.

Oh, Gungum. Butterfly over here, you have a friend, look. Roll me a persuasion check to persuade Gumb Gumb to go towards yours. 13. Oh, yeah, that succeeds. Gumgum clearly likes the shiny butterfly more and starts biting for the aluminum foil. I want to catch the shiny Pokemon.

I do one of those things where, you know if you're, like, trying to play a magic trick with someone and you put it over their head. Yeah. And then I grab it with the other hand to pocket it. And so he thinks it disappears. Oh. Oh. It got away again. Again.

I know. We'll catch him next time, gum, gum, gum. I know. Hey, guys, since we're heading to the playground, I just wanted to say, you know, I passed by a survival check. And I think we're going to map out or route through the neighborhood. We should avoid Hugh Manners' house. He just got back from Juby Hall from lighting fires and killing him. small animals.

We need to avoid going through that property, okay, guys? Yeah, he does weird stuff with his dolls. Yeah. It's like, what is it, what is it from, uh, Sid, from Toy Story story? I got you, Chris. And then sleek, uh, with your survival check, I think this works actually pretty well for considering you still have

some concrete on your foot. You actually trip on some uneven sidewalk and you take one damage. Oh. Why did that sound like the mind? craft damage that was like verbate like when you drop your fall damage sound yeah canonically it's how I think sleek actually sounds yeah okay cool so you guys head to the boulderay park playground as the party gets further and further from lady silkmire's house the sun shines brightly overheads casting playful shadows on the familiar neighborhood soon you arrive at the boulder ray park playground a

bustling hub of childhood adventure. The playground is a vibrant landscape that's colorful plastic equipment with towering slides and swing sets creaking in the breeze and an enormous central sandbox where the sand glitters like tiny golden gems. Children's laughter fills the air and the scent of fresh grass mingles with the faint aroma of packed lunches. The sandbox, the heart of the playground, is bustling with activity with various children playing imaginary games all around. Could I talk to Kaiburg really fast? Sure.

Hey, what's that, Doc? Um, Kaiburg, I was here, you know, a few weeks ago, and, uh, there were these dragon born that wanted me to help them with their homework, but I was too busy, and that's why I got this broken leg. Oh. Um, could you keep an eye out since you seem to speak their language really wet? I'm going to bully these bullies. They're not going to know what's coming.

No one hurts my friend, Doc. You got it, Doc. I'm going to watch out you. I'm going to watch you back, bud. Thank you very much. And if you're running to them, just repeat after me. Tell them. Excellent.

I'll write that down. This is a family-friendly show, Kyborg, if you could keep the sense of swearing down. So sorry, guys. So, that's sorry. Sleek, avoid the swimming pool with your brick shoes, okay? Just saying. You got a boss. All right.

So you guys are at the playground. What do you guys do? I think Bart would go straight over for a swing set. Cool. why don't you roll me a investigation check i want to i am swinging okay at disadvantage you got it because you're moving what me see one i can't see 16 wow even while in emotion it must be that like at the peak you get that kind of overwatch element as you keep doing just for a brief moment and you do see that you notice like near the center of the sandbox there's an area that seems to be like at a lower elevation than the rest of the sandals

to the sandbox team what how do you get off the swing do you slow down and get off for it to slow down on its own momentum yeah it's just everybody waiting for the centrifugal force to stop I'll meet you guys there in probably two and a half minutes So we're here is, I'll meet you guys. All right. Do you guys all gather? Yeah. You know, this makes sense. I've heard Khybergs told me before that cats will sometimes bury candy bars in here

and that I should look for them. And I haven't gotten to it yet, but maybe now's the time. You know, we can all split a candy bar. Inspiration dice, Ben. I want to say, Ben, you're killing it. I mean, you're trying to give me off. I mean, that's so good. With Amex Platinum, access to exclusive Amex pre-sale tickets can score you a spot

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The twisted tale of Amanda Knox is now streaming only on Disney Plus. I feel bad though. I just stepped on Micah. Michael, what were you going to say? I was going to inspect the structural integrity of every piece of playground in here. All right, we got to do a few checks here, Micah. Okay, so as you guys are approaching this area, you do actually find that there's kind of a thin layer of sand at a certain spot. You guys brush aside a few clumps of that sand to uncover a small wooden hatch. It's buried beneath the sand itself. And it's marked with like faded crayon drawings of like an ogre with like a frowny face

and underneath it underneath as the words, do not open seriously. Wow, friends. I bet this is where all the candy bars are. We got to open this, guys. Yeah, what do you do? Okay, okay. I got it. I got it, okay.

And sleek is going to look toward this box. and he's going to point his fingers and he's going to cast the spell finger guns, which is an actual legitimate spell in D&D beyond. What? You extend your forefinger and thumb, a dangerous gesture, mimicking a gun. Sleek has a gun.

He's got a gun. Baby Sleek has a gun. For the duration, your hand counts as a simple ranged weapon with a range of 60 feet and the slow mastery property. You can use your spell casting ability instead of dexterity for the attack rolls of this weapon, and on a hit, the weapon deals 2D6 force damage. I would like to try to shoot this chest or whatever this is open.

Okay, so you are facing this hatch and you are pulling out finger guns to cast a spell. Yes. Khyborg is going to turn his back to the group and he's going to keep lookout. Because I feel like I used to do that a lot as a kid. I'd look out when my friends are doing something dangerous or bad just to make sure no adults are.

Okay. Before we get to Ben doing his attack, why don't you give me a perception check? Hi, baby. You got it. That is... looks like a 14? Yeah, you look around

and you're trying to keep an eye on like a certain side of the sandbox and Sleek kind of bends over and he's kind of like focusing his baby arcane energy towards this hatch and then all of a sudden, Sleek, you feel something happen behind you. Just as you reach out to do your finger guns,

a sudden wush of sand rains down your back and into your pants and undies. You know, the sand is coarse, it's gritty, is absolutely everywhere you don't want it to be. And a familiar snicker echoes from behind you, turning to where this sand originated from, standing there with a smirk and a little sand shovel held in a floating magical pan is Brink Tustler,

the most obnoxious kid in the neighborhood. Guys, I think I gum-gumped myself. Yeah. Hi, Brink. Surrounding Brink, or along with Brink, he has a gang of little goblin goons that snicker beside him, all with their arms crossed, trying to look formidable. And Brink says, oh, did the widdle baby have an accident in their diaper? Typical toddlers, listen, you imbecile infants, that cavern and all the little goodies inside belong to Brink. Okay.

You got to fight back a little bit. This one, this one's a smart one. Can we want you to share it? Hey, Hey, Brink, is it true that you pooped your pants during math class last semester? I heard that a rumor going around. Is it true? Can you confirm or deny?

I think you're doing that thing again where you make your own adventure, someone else's adventures, little Kai baby. No, I would never poop my pants. You're the pants pooper. But that's true, Kai, boy, you pooped your pants all the time. Come, come, shut it up. All right, so I think, you know, it's very fun that you guys have found this hatch, but I think you need to disperse, okay?

I think that hairless Hutch has something to say. Because of Art's great leadership in giving me the dirty canvases, I'm going to pull one out and try to touch it to bring Tustler's face. Oh. And help me understand what Hutch is trying to do here. Well, Lady Siltmeyer said that the canvases would help us when we needed help. And it appears we need help right now. So maybe I picture he's doing the one-two thing.

Or it was one hand he's reaching out for hair. And the other hand, he's putting a canvas. It's just reaching at his head. I guess that would be like a, like a decks check to see if you manage to get the canvas to him. Can I see also, if I, at the simultaneously is this happening, could I try to cast sleep on Brink Tustler? Let's resolve touch first. And then, yeah, you can do that. I wanted him to think that he was putting him to sleep.

No tears, only sleep. Oh, 19 on my decks check. 19 in your decks check. Yeah, the crowd parts, and Hutch walks forward and just slowly, slowly puts the canvas against Brink's facing. Brink just not understanding what's going on, just allows it to happen. And as the canvas reaches his face and he pushes against it,

and Hutch's other hand comes up and starts stroking his hair, nothing happens. And Brink goes, is this one all right? Does he need to go have a nap? He probably needs a lot of things, actually. Can use some of that hair? I feel like we need to tell. Hold on.

Was Bart going to try something there at the same time when I was doing that? I was just going to try to cast sleep on him. Did you want to cast sleep, or did you guys want to gather and make a plan? You know, I think Kiborg and Brink know each other pretty well, so I'm going to trust what he has to say on this matter. Okay, I was going to say, Brink Dustler, hold that thought. Uh, try counting to 10. I know you can't.

Uh, and then I gather up with my group. And I say, all right, guys, are we going to pick a fight with these dudes or what? What's the plan? Yeah. And he already tried to rub his sack all over him. Hairless Hutch, I know you're going to try to pull hairs. I know that that's your style. It's a little weird, unconventional, but I like it, though.

In a fight, anything goes, Kai, Khi, baby. Yeah. What if we played a game of hiding? Then we just hide inside the tunnel. That's an idea. I have an idea that might work with that. Okay. I have an umbrella, you see, for any weather occasion.

I know he's always carried with me. And I was wondering, do I see birds in the vicinity? May it pigeons? Yeah, yeah. There's like, there's various kinds of birds around the area. I learned this from an old Scottish man. You just kind of pump the umbrella and it flaps and the birds get scared. And then all there's like a swarm of birds and it like obscures us hiding into the.

The hatch. That's actually pretty cool. I'm going to use that of my day-to-day life. I'm not a fan of birds. Do you make any noise while you're doing that? We can scare the birds, maybe the poop all over him, too. I just really think that would be a fun idea. I like that.

I like that. Yeah, yeah. I'm down to play in this space. Give me an animal handling check. Doctor. Excellent. I always handle animals with my umbrella. That's a 14.

Yeah, you know, you manage to scare a fair amount of birds, and they start flying around, and they're causing a bit of a scene, like, you know, making noises, and some are kind of swooping around and not knowing what to do with your umbrella situation. So, you know, for the moment, like, everyone's kind of a little confused as to what's going on, and Brink is, like, wondering what you're doing. He's watching you make those bird sounds, and he's just continue to be confused by this band of babies

and their weird shenanigans. His puny brain can't handle what Doc's doing. All day's work. Shall we hop down? Yeah, yeah. So what's your guys is, what are you guys going to try to do to, like, resolve this whole Brink situation? Because clearly, Brink's not going to let you guys get into that hatch without any sort of, like, something in order to resolve his bullying. Well, he's distracted now, right, by the birds?

Maybe we can, uh, let the guys, let's make a break for it. Let's go. Into the hole? Scram! Yeah. Hutch will try to rip the door off and dive in. Bravely, of course. Okay.

Can I help? with opening the door? Well, is anybody else on the playground? I want to try to, like, distract break further. Yeah, there's other kids around. I would like to cast rumor. Oh. It is a spell I have as a bard.

I magically spread a rumor of 10 words or less in a 100-foot emanation originating from you. Want to try that description again? Yeah, I'll take that again one more time. Yeah, one more time. We normally edit this stuff out, guys. You guys need to see behind the curtain right now. Press to digitation.

Yeah. You magically spread a rumor of 10 words or less and a 100-foot emanation originating from you. Any creature within the emanation that can hear and understand three or more other creatures believes that they hear the rumor being repeated by someone nearby.

Oh, okay. And I just want to say, I got 10 words, right? Sure. Brink pooped his pants in math class last semester. Yeah. I knew it.

Is there a check or something you got to do? Uh, no, it just happens. Okay. So, yeah, you cast rumor, and all of a sudden, there's just whispers going around of like people being like did he poop his pants? Does he put his pants right now? I heard that one too.

I heard it's really stinky too. Oh, yeah. Uh-oh, stinky. Stinky Dragon, the place that you guys should be, uh, you know, joining our Patreon at stinky dragonpot.com and joining us for shenanigans like this. I'm letting you guys know, I don't think we've said this yet, but this is actually going to be part one of an adventure and the other part is only going to be available for our patrons. There's going to be more after this.

We're going to play for a while. then we're going to be even more. So you guys want some in the infant night's content. All you got to do is sign up at the lowest tier is $5. $5 a month, not much, okay? I can't wait to hear what Eric's going to say when I reach out to him and say, I need you to reprise the young Brink tussler. Hey, he'll love it.

Okay, so, yes, let's say that Brink and his little goblin dudes are sufficiently distracted for the moment. And what you guys are going to try to do is sneakily, kind of use that as an opportunity to jump into the hatch. Yeah, rip off the, uh, the, the, cover and let's go. Okay. Can I get stealth checks from everyone at advantage?

I'd like to do something in conjunction with my stealth check. Sure. What are you going to do? There's this famous song that we like to sing where I've come from. I'm going to take my umbrella and scoop up a bunch of sand and go, did-da-da-da-da-da. Inspiration dice, if you don't have one already. Thank you.

Could I go last so that I could like cover where we went in with some extra sand? All right, why don't you guys give me one at a time? Your highest number out of your stealth check. Like, 17 from Sleak. Good. 23 from Bart. Very good. 20 from Hutch.

Ooh, 11 from Khyborg. Okay. Had a net 20 for 21. Very good. I got a critical failure. I won. I'm going to say that with those... It's the crutches.

Yeah, with those numbers, you guys did well enough that you offset some of your lower numbers with like, you know, a nap 20 and stuff like that. So you guys do manage to kind of open up that hatch and start heading down into the hole. And then, Bart, what do you do as you guys are bringing up the rear? I want to, like, kind of shovel some of the sand in to kind of obscure the place we went in. Okay, okay. Why don't you give me, let's call that a sleight of hand check, just to see how well you cover your tracks. I rolled a one.

Oh, how many critical fails. You just see a bunch of my handprints everywhere in the sand with just a giant opening of where I went in. I like to think you start gathering it and you're just like putting it straight into your face and into your eyes.

And he's at the top of this like hatch so all the sand is going down on everybody below him and you guys all have like your mouths open because you're breathing heavy. Oh, it's everywhere. I'm so sorry I know sand gets everywhere. It's fine. You won't develop motor skills until

Much later. Oh, okay, good, good. When it's closed, is there, like, a lever or anything that maybe we could jam so it doesn't open again? No. Does anybody have something to, like, cause that to happen, or is that just something you were thinking of? I was just thinking, like, I could just jam a hand axe or something. Or maybe, like, a rod that can't move? I only had one.

Dang. That'll be GumGum's birthday gift. Yeah. Yeah, we'll say that you put a kind of little, what do you have in your inventory that you're doing this? Yeah, a hand axe. Okay. So you put a little hand axe. to kind of like jam it.

Yeah, that sufficiently is able to do that. And yeah, when you guys, just to kind of paint a picture of like what you guys are looking at as you're heading down, you know, you open this wooden hatch and it reveals this dark hole that's just big enough for a group of, you know, brave, if not slightly sandy-dipered heroes that they squeeze through. And as you do that, you guys are descending a puff of cool, earthy air, which is upward, carrying with it, the scent of like just slightly damp sand, forgotten toys, and just a hint of goldfish cracker crumbs

long lost to time and then yeah a small wooden ladder descends in the darkness and you guys head down okay is it like a diagonal ladder or?

I listened my parents at their new house have a new diagonal ladder and I keep resisting the urge to film a video to show you guys we're gonna film this later on I'm gonna show you

resist this urge anymore um okay wonderful we're heading down into the sandbox catacombs and one by one you all climb downward, your footsteps echoing off of sandy walls reinforced with like building blocks and Legos and the occasional Lincoln Log. Yes, I know I'm old. The further you descend, love Lincoln Logs. The further you descend, the darker it seems to get. But as you reach the

bottom, a green glow begins to appear and the tunnel opens into this wide chamber you guys find yourself. Wow. Long time. Hairless Hatch doesn't get out a lot. I'm in the moment. Yeah, yeah, yes, and. Wow. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, I love it. Yeah, you've got to paint an audio picture here. I think Gus has told us he wants to hear that more from us whenever we're playing. So in the center of this room you're in now is this giant glowing mushroom that's creating this kind of light source. And along the left side wall, you can see painted in like finger paints the words, Welcome to the under Sandbox. Heroes only, no baby's allowed. Well, sleek, it's been fun having you around, bud,

but I think it's time that we part ways. Oh, man. He's just, he's just twisting your ankle or whatever the people say when they're kidding around, right, Kuyborg? That's a serious injury. Yeah, sure, sure. So directly ahead on the opposite side of the room that you guys are standing on, there's a small door that's kind of like built into the earth.

around it. It looks to be made from like an old refrigerator box. Yeah. Wow. Well, do you think it's that they have orange slices in there? I can go for some orange slices. It's covered in like these various stickers and finger painted like glyphs that they all glow with this kind of this faintest magical energy. And like nailed to it in the middle of the door is this like power wheels, the steering

wheel that's kind of like in the middle of it for like, I guess like a door handle. And above it all is a sign that reads, challenges ahead, thumb suckers turn back. Well, Sleek, it's super great to have you around, but I think it's time we once again part ways. You turn around, Sleek is absolutely sucking his thumb. No, hold on, hold on. You said there were like glyphs on this door?

Yeah. Sleek approaches and he looks up and down the door and he goes, I know what that is. I know what that means. Now, guys, I definitely know what this means, But I'm really worried that, like, gum-gum might not know what this means. I don't know what it means. Doc or Bart, if you guys want to explain to gum-gum what this means,

it'd be nice, right? And he goes back to suck in his thumb. I'd like to pull out my magnifying glass, and maybe Bart and I can look together. Yes, let's both look through your magnifying glass because both of us definitely have vision issues. Why don't you a hem roll for an investigation? check with advantage.

Oh, yes, okay. Thanks to BART. 23. Oh, I helped. You helped. Thank you. Thank you for holding the magnifying class. You approach one of the glyphs and you look at it really closely and it, you're

kind of like looking at this glyph. And this particular one looks like almost like a capital letter S, but it's kind of in this like thin diamond formation. Oh. And like the bottom of the S is like three lines and the top of the S is three lines. I have a question for you, John. Yeah. Any chance, would it happen to look a little something like this?

Oh my gosh, you know the arcane glyphs of the understandbox. Magic. Of the millennials. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Everyone did that little S thing, right? Yeah, in middle school. Universal. Yeah.

I'm starting to worry that this place is too cool for me. What do you guys do? I only know what it is. What do you want to do, Bart? Oh, I don't know. So it's just, it's just this one letter? Well, I mean, you looked at that one glyph and yeah, you saw a little letter and you're in front of this kind of like a refrigerator box door. Okay, could I try opening it?

Sure. You open it and it opens. Is there anything inside of it? I've heard of these before. They're called doors. Oh, yeah. I have a feeling we're going to have a lot of trouble with these in the future. I do like that when I was like, what are you guys going to do?

There was just silence as you guys were faced with the door. Bart turns around and sleeks lowering his finger gun to put it back down. He's holstering it back into his little pocket. $1.00, Bob, open the door. You win this round. Do you suck your thumb and cast fingers? That's how he's like with this one other finger. That's how he takes out one of his eyebrows and he's just got one eyebrow for a few months.

Always practice trigger safety. Suck your thumbs responsibly. All right. So what do you guys do? Bart has now opened the door and you can see there's another room on the other side. Let's all hobble in together. All the same time through the door? Yes.

Everybody with crutches. Ka chunk. Ka chryborg will lead. Yeah. Just in a normal way? Bow-drawn, just like I climb up and down diagonal ladders. Yes, you guys walk through no traps spring on you, but as you step through this refrigerator door, you do find yourself standing at one end of a vast underground chamber. and this one's lit by a bunch of the gentle glow

of a bunch of glittery mushrooms cleaning to the walls now. The floor stretches out before you like a checkers board. It's made entirely of brightly colored square tiles. Each about the size of like a storybook cover and they're arranged in a perfect grid. The grid goes five rows deep

in further into the room and 10 tiles wide. on each row. And it's leading all the way to what you guys can see is another door on the other end of this room with a large number two written in crayon. Crayon. I don't know why I said, that's so weird. Crain.

That must be Brink's room. Number two. So you guys are like, you guys have just kind of like, you're at the entrance of this room and this checker board's like, you know, in the middle of it, kind of splitting the room in half.

What do you guys do? Are there different colors on the checkers? Yeah. Do you want to walk closer and kind of see what's going on? Yes. I'm just asking. Yes, yes.

And then I also want to see if there's any like glyphs or anything on the walls or anything like that. Sure. Kai, baby, why don't you roll me a investigation? Okay. Here we go. Investigation or perception, since you are looking around the rest of the room. I'll let you pick. Oh, God, I should have done perception.

That's a plus two. Oh, that's okay. 14. Yeah. You walk up and you see that the walls are pretty blank other than the little mushroom. that are kind of giving you guys a little bit of an unearthed glow around you. But each tile that you're looking at, it does magically glow faintly as well in like a single solid color,

each of those tiles. There are red ones, yellow ones, blue, green, purple, and orange. The colors are scattered randomly with no noticeable particular pattern. And, uh, Kiborg, since you're the brave one, the brave baby, who, uh, walked forward and, uh, approached this checkers board. you step closer and an ominous blustering voice echoes through the room and it says to you all step with care and mind your stride the wrongest step will make you slide choose the hues that don't bring woes or bounce back fast on tickled toes That's a good rhyme. Hairly touch, they said, it said step with hair, so I don't think you're going to be able to go.

That's good, because I don't like being tickled. Disembodied voice, you are within 500 feet of a playground. I just want to alert you that the courts may be coming after you, just to, just so you know. Nothing happens. Okay. Could you, hey, voice. Can you rename those colors again? You can see in front of you.

You know, the voice didn't tell you the colors. No, no, no, we want to hear it. Actually, you know what? Bart rolled me a intelligence check. I want to see how well Bart knows his colors. I bet I know how to do this, but I'll do it after Bart. Intelligence check? Yeah, why not?

Coming in, hush. Ooh, seven. Bart, you can tell that there are some of the tiles that look very much like your red hair, but you forget the names of some of the other colors that are on the ground. Okay. Colors are hard when you're young. That's one of the first things you learn. We got red grind.

Blop. Blurple. Blurple's good. Blurple. Maybe some glue. Can Kiborg take a step on the first row onto a red tile? Sure. You step onto that tile and nothing happens.

Okay. That's what we want. Should I keep going, guys? Yeah. Gum, gum. What? I'm not the smartest person here, but I'm pretty sure I heard that disemboddy voice say,

these colors will make a slide. I say we just take a running start right next to Khyborg, left and right. They're whispering. They're whispering. You can't hear you're ahead of them over on the checkerboard, and they're having their own little moment.

Or here's what we could do. Is this because Bart heard what Sleek was saying? I see Khyborg take the first step and be okay. Okay. I think Kiborg might be onto something. I don't know if it was just pure, or if he understands this game, but I think we should all just follow him. I think he's on to the red one.

Yes, so let's go on the red one. Oh, okay. Ready, jump. Okay, can we all fit on one? There's like one more red one in the first row, but there's only like 10 tiles per row. So, Kyborg's on one of the Reds. So what happens right now? I would all direct people to follow Kyborg.

Okay, so just to follow Kyborg. Yeah. You got it part. Okay, the tile is the size of like a storybook, so we can only fit one little baby at a time. Okay. I'll make my next move. On the second row, is there an orange tile? Yeah.

Can I jump onto the orange tile? Yeah, it's a little bit further away. It's not like directly in front of you. So could you give me like acrobatics? Wait, keyboard. Hold on to this rope. Okay. You have rope?

Yeah. Why'd you bring a rope, gum gum, oh, it's jump rope. It's jump rope. There you go. I like that. I'm holding onto the other end. Oh, my gosh.

I just rolled a nine. See, we have an inspiration die. I could borrow. I could give you, like, my, my PBNJ for lunch. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Sleeck, absolutely, I don't know how to do this, but frozen inspiration diet type work. Dung.

May I accept that to DMs? Yeah, yeah, that's our inspiration days work now. Okay. A re-roll, much better. Hey, Sleek, you're not so bad. I'm going to stop spreading their rumor that you wet the bed every night. That's a 21.

You guys heard it. He can't take it back. No takes you back, sees. All right. Yeah, you do take a little bit of a jump. and you do land on a orange tile. And yeah, at first you kind of like teeter, but you feel the confidence of your Dwarven friend behind you

and you're able to kind of hold your ground and stand there. I'm going to need a Constitution saving throw from Kai Baby Elias. Oh, God, I thought I had this figured out. I knew exactly what I was doing. Were you going in rainbow order? Maybe. I was like red, orange. Constitution save?

Yes. That is why. am I rolling so badly? You rolled a why? I know. Kai baby doesn't know his numbers. Five. Yeah, out from the walls, kind of pushing through the sand,

come these little squirt gun nozzles. And, you know, this orange liquid shoots at you, and it actually gets into your eyes and kind of stings your eyes. And you do take, actually, you don't even take any damage, but you are blinded for the rest of this. room. Oh my God. You just maced a child. He yells, Mr. President, get down.

His cement boots, keep him down. He just falls face plants right in front of him. So, uh, Kibork is, uh, standing. The, the orange tile is still there. He hasn't been moved, but he can't see anymore for the remainder of this room. Oh, no. It's been poopie traps. Ew. Ew. Ew.

Poopy. Um, could, could I, could I, could I, look around and see if there's anything that also has colors in this room other than the tiles on the floor? Sure. Give me a perception check. 19. Yeah. With a 19,

you look around the room and like I said, it's just carved out sand walls with these little blueish green mushrooms all kind of like sticking out in little spots and all just kind of glowing. But there doesn't seem to be any, like if you're looking for like writing

or just direction of any kind. There's not really anything for you to see. And there's how many colors of tiles? Well, we already went over this. You could only identify one. Oh, right. I think there were six, whether or not we can remember the names. I believe I counted six.

Yeah. Okay. And he stepped on the red one and nothing happened. And then when he jumped to the orange one, he got scoblewey. You got pepper sprayed. Yeah. Okay. I want to bravely step forward onto the red one.

And then from there, jump to the red one. I, right before you do that, hudge. I just want to turn to you and say, look, I've tried nothing and I'm all out of ideas. And so I believe in you. And I want to give you some Bartik inspiration. So if you have a roll, you can add a D6 to that. I believe in me too. I think you're making a good bet here, Sleek.

Yes, I love that. You step on the red of the first line is what I'm expecting. Same one that Kai Bork stepped on? Yeah, I think in Hutch's mind, red is safe. So he's going to step on the one that was safe that Kai Baby stepped on and then look for another red one to continue matching it in the next row. Okay, yeah, you step on the first one

and just like Kaiborke, nothing happens. And you look for another red tile. There's actually one that's actually pretty close to where you are, so you don't have to do an acrobatic check or anything, and you do step on that tile. As you step on that tile, I need you to make a dexterity saving throw. This is good.

It's very good. That's a 17. Yes. Oh, that's very good. Yeah, as you step on that tile, you hear a mechanical click and that tile shoots up with a screen load underneath it

that kind of launches you backwards it kind of like has an angle but Hutch is very agile and managed to do kind of like almost like a little flipping air and lands on the ground back to where you guys are at the beginning unscathed

and that's how you do it with style I do jazz hands what class is Hutch by the way he's a rope I'm glad you asked this I'm glad you asked this That's a really good question.

Hairless Hutch is a, is a paladin. What? Is he actually? Yeah. Yeah. I don't know. Again, non-canonically. I figured he's got like an oath to mammals and an oath to hair.

Yeah. Oh, my God. I was certain he would be a rogue or something. Metagame-wise, I'd played rogue a few times in our previous adventure that I didn't want to do rogue against. I went paladin. Very good. Is Hutch or is him like a tinkerer? or something?

Yes, he's a bit of an artful person, an artificer, if you will. Oh, I've heard of an artificer here. Speaking of, while you've all been doing this, he's been working with the mushrooms, putting together some string with some coils of metal, and it turns to GumGum and says, Gumgum, I have this contraption I've built

that I think would be perfect for you. What is it? I call it a cat, a pult. Oh. And so you have to pretend you're a cat, and then I launch you across the room. Okay, Cub Gumb's already on all fours and playing like a cat. He's acting like an animal again.

His parents told us to watch out for this. What's that sound like, Chris? Yeah. Yeah, meow. Yeah. Don't let him near the sandbox. He's going to make so many candy bars. Oh, God.

I have a spell. It's called Catapult. You have a spell. It's called Catapult. And what does this spell do? It launches an object. Big quotes on that word. Okay.

Weighing one to five pounds. It's clearly GumGump, right? Yep. Yes. Launches them 90 feet in a direction, I choose. Ooh. That's some forceful. That's a big cataple.

I like to over crank my inventions. Sure. What do you do? You've got to check to see what happens. There is a deck save that GumGum has to make. Okay. Okay, so you have crafted a catapult. Yes.

And Gumgum is, are you obliging Gumgum and getting in the seat of this? Yes, but put this, put my leash on. I take the rope that I gave Kibor and I put it around my neck so it's like a leash. This is a bad idea. I was going to say, I don't like where this is going.

I have a very loose grip on this leash because I was already weirded out by it to begin with. Okay, then who makes the deck save? Is it Gum Gum? He can make it. I have the DC and it's a deck save of 14. Okay, go for it, Gumgum.

All right, deck save. He might take some damage after this as well. That's a nine. I will give you my inspiration because I was inspired to create this machine for you. Oh, 17. Ooh.

That's pretty good. Oh, okay. So he launches forward, 90 feet. Yes, I'm thinking on like a kind of a 45 degree angle. Yeah, as you guys are, you know, facing this checkerboard, you hear a spring and Gumgum is launched into the air. Too good. And you hear the Doppler effect of a cat fast by. But unfortunately, Gum Gum doesn't go very far.

far. Eight lives. Eight lives left. He stops mid-air at the start of the checkerboard and seemingly kind of stops and hits like an unseen wall. Oh, no. And takes... Oh, not more fall damage.

Oh, gum gum. I heard of a story like this. It was a story of the cabin in some woods, I think. Yeah. I've heard it also. It's a story with a coyote and a roadrunner. Mm. That do.

Meow. Meow as he slides down this unseen wall. So is he in the middle now or no? I know. I think I hit like... He didn't go past a single row of them. He stopped at the start of it. I think we have to try again.

I think it's what we're learning. Experimentation. Don't worry. I still have eight more lives. What? Okay. Can we recall what the poem was? Because I wonder if there's wordplay where it's like the first letter of each color

tells us what pattern to go. I can't think of anything else. Why don't you guys roll a, let's call it a wisdom check. Okay. Are we all rolling this? Whoever wants to try, if you guys are putting your brain towards trying to figure out this puzzle, roll a wisdom check.

If you're playing with the sand, don't roll a wisdom check. Eight. I rolled a 17. 15 for Kiborg. Guys, I really think we're just supposed to slide across this thing. Just a running start. I got a five.

I got a one. I got a disadvantage on this still. I'm like jittery from the gum drop. I got a 12. Okay, thank you. Yeah, Doc. Yes. You, as you're kind of like, you know, with your methodical brain, you know,

you're looking around trying to figure out that there might be something going with this puzzle. Also taking notes from the previous experimentation with gum gum, learning from mistakes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Physics have been learned. You see something in Hairless Hutch's pocket glowing a little bit. Ah, yes. We're in the hairless hatch. should be looking at, hairless Hutch.

All right, I go talk to Hutch. Hutch, I notice there's something in your pocket. It seems to be glowing. It's not hair. Oh, it's not? Okay. That was so fast. That was so fast.

Is there anything besides not being hair in there? Oh, yeah. Those dirty canvas squares. Let me see what's in there. Do not look in my left pocket. We forgot about the thing that helps us when we need help. Yeah. Well, we use them already.

Yeah. I tried. They didn't do anything. They were worthless. Yeah, you only have two left. I'll pull out one of the, I guess, dirty canvas squares. Hodge, be careful with that. We might need to rub it on Brink's face later.

Okay, okay. It's true. Yeah, you look at one of the little patches of canvas and some writing starts appearing like ink kind of bleeding into the canvas. Wow. Hutch, how good are you at, have you learned your reading yet? I can kind of fake it. You know, I have full faith in you after saying that.

Well, good news. As you're looking at these words, a voice starts coming from the canvas as well. It's haunted. What do you do? Throw it to the ground and start stomping on it. Oh, no. As you're stomping on it in between the steps, you can hear the sound of a nanny that lives in San Francisco.

go, saying, Interesting. Begin where blush and bashful meet. Then step where sunshine warms your feet. Skip the root that rabbits crave its color, bold, it shan't behave. Look to skies for where to go. Then leaves and lavender end the shore. Can you hit the rewind button on that touch?

I think I missed one of those. We use in lavender. I would say then it's, you said it's bold at first, so probably like... Red. That's red. Red. Then sunshine's yellow. Yellow.

Yellow. And then you said, look to the sky. So blue. Before that was the root that rabbit's crave, which I assume is carrot, which is orange. Orange, yes. And then there was something after that I missed before skies. But did it say skip the root that rabbits crave? One more time.

Voice in the sky. I'll tell you what. Hutch, roll me in Arcana check to see if you can get the magics to give you the clue again. And see if you can play it at 0.5 times me with subtitles. Now you guys see the difficulty. I got a six on that, but I'm going to use my inspiration die and I try that again. Zero. You rolled a one with a negative one on Arcana.

Yeah, I mean, the words are still there, but you, you know, you guys are babies and words are hard. So the voice hasn't come through again. Listen, I've, I've, I was two, by someone who taught me this skill that I will pass on to you, Hutch, and I hand him a hook, and I say, this is the hook of phonics. Ooh.

It works for me. Yes, just you. Then I will give you another role of Arcana. When the first two were so great, let's see what the Thursday like. I know, why not? One more. We're going to find out at the end of this adventure,

it's just a regular hook, and the magic was inside Hutch all along. It's 13. 13 is enough. The voice comes through again. begin where blush and bassful meet then step where sunshine warms your feet skip the root that rabbits crave

its color bold it shan't behave look to skies for where to go then leaves and lavender end the show oh so green and then purple okay green purple yeah and we skip orange okay it looks like it's is it red yellow blue green purple yeah I was so close I had the idea

it's just like bang it you keyboarded it I kiborned it. As I just remembered the names of a few more colors. It came to me. Yeah, the colors, uh, leaves, uh, Brian. Okay, what do you guys do? Uh, while they're listening to the,

the words being spoken again, I think Sleek is like behind them, like jumping onto the first square, like the red square. Okay. And then he's listening to them say out loud the colors as it goes on. Okay.

Yellow. Sleek jumps to yellow. Okay. Blue. Sleek jumps to blue. Okay. Green. I don't have I learned that one yet.

Uh, you jumps to green. Okay. Purple. Jumps to purple. Purple's a little far. So give me a acrobatics. Sleek eyes it? Sleek would like to try to do a backflip onto the purple one.

Nice. So you want to do this at disadvantage? Yeah. Do it. Athletics? Acrobatics? I want acrobatics. Okay, okay.

Wouldn't that be what it is? Yeah, because that's more dexterity. Base. I think athletics is more strength. Athletics is strength. Let's ask the council of DMs. Well, hello there. Welcome to us, Jackie Dragon. Well, that's a 12. That'll do it. You land on the per on the on the on the Yeah, 10 points. You're on the last row. What do I do now?

I think you just walk forward. He's backwards though. He did it backflip. He starts to take a step forward and stops and then starts walking backwards very slowly. Excellent. Which way are you facing right now? If I back flipped, I imagine I would be facing the crew. Okay, okay. So you backstep to the other side of the room.

Yes. Okay. You managed to get another side. You are on sand. Woo! I'm blinded so it didn't count. I didn't see it. Okay.

Kiborg, I'll walk you there, buddy. Okay. Just hold on to my hand. Okay, you got it. Can I also do a piggyback ride on Kiborg as he's being pulled? The ultimate physical. test, like the presidential fitness examiner. Look, look, he's, he's, his eyes are blinded, so his other senses are heightened.

He can do this. I, I can smell and, oh my God, Gum Gum needs a bath. Gumgum licks himself like a cat. Why is Gum gum gum one of the little animal kids? He's a little furry. So, okay, yeah, so I imagine you guys do the same pattern of colors. Yeah, we don't need to go through that again. and I need an acrobatics check

to make it to the purple. For all of us. Everyone? Okay. Yeah. If you guys are all doing that game. I trust you, Khyborg. I will do whatever you roll.

Okay. I rolled a six. I rolled a 22. Action search. I got a 18. Yay. Okay. You guys all make it to the purple

except for as Bart is landing on the purple. He's kind of teetering off of it. Like a toe is on it, but he's falling backwards. I want to reach out. I want to catch him. Yeah, can we grab? I want to push him.

No. I want to allow you to do what you want to do, is Hutch pushing? Yeah. Hutch go for the hair. How about you guys do opposing strength checks? Which, which? Hutch and Kiborg. Well, I wanted to grab, too.

Okay. Then Hutch, I need you to oppose two strength checks. Okay. First one is gum gum, second one's Khyborg. Okay. Oh, no. Kiborg, let your senses guide you like the force, and I want to give him Bartig inspiration.

What's Barth? Was that a D4? Let's resolve Kaiborke first. Would you roll Kaiborke? 10. 10. And then Hutch, you rolled against that? 16.

Okay. He has pushed your hand off of Bart. I'm blind. Gum, what did you roll? 22. And then what did you roll, Hutch? 19, which I thought was going to be great. Oh, so close.

I was rooting for you, Hutch. I was. I'm just here for the ride. You get distracted, you know, by Gum Gums. He's got like a little curl of hair coming out of his little hat. That kind of, uh... And Gum Gum is able to use his, like, toddler strength, you know, where toddlers just don't know how strong to grip on something

and pulls Bart forward onto the purple and then onto the sand. Yeah, Bert'sville. You guys are on the other side of the room, and you are facing that door with the number two on it, and you guys have all managed to get there. And let's say at this point, Kaiborg, you've gotten to be able to rub the orange juice out of your eyes. Bankmore Oncores when you switch

to a Scotia Bank banking package. Learn more at scotiabank.com slash banking packages. Conditions apply. Scotia Bank, you're richer than you think. Was it literally orange juice? Am I allowed to know what it? Can I taste it?

Sure. It is orange juice. Oh, okay. Now, let's say it's, it's, uh, ecto, what is that? Like the punch? The, ecto cooler? Yeah, that's what it was. That's green, though, isn't it?

Maybe it was tang. I was thinking tecto cooler was orange. Ecto cooler is for sure green. I thought it was orange. I thought it was orange, too. No, like the packaging was that, but the drink was going orange. Ecto cooler, color of liquid. This is a very important piece of information.

Stop with the AI, I don't want to. This is what AI was for. It's green. Okay. Okay. But it's orange flavored. Okay. We'll be in the middle.

I feel you on that. I don't think we were wealthy enough to order it. Neither. Okay, so you guys are there facing that door. Now, gang, we learned this last time. These doors need to be go. through them. You know, last time we went through the door,

we found this maze of colors and some not so great stuff happens, so I'm a little hesitant to go through the door again. You're right. No, sleek, sleep, sleep. Put your finger guns down. There you go.

Gumgum will go through the door. Oh my God, you're so brave. And Gumgum does what with the door? Open it. He opens the door and... That's all he says. He doesn't actually touch it. He just says, oh, it.

He just wills it to be... It's voice activate. It opens. And you see before you another chamber. And this one's shaped like a big half circle with six small tunnels kind of carved into the dirt wall ahead of you. And each tunnel is ringed in like pretty crayon colored smudges and these random glued on googly eyes. And this kind of tattered banner made of a bunch of taped together piece of construction paper hangs overhead. And it reads, noise will lead your steps astray.

The careful ear will find the way. And as you're standing in this kind of chamber, which I assume you've walked in, the air is still, and it's almost like your own heartbeat feels loud in this room. Something about these tunnels feels like I might be waiting for you. Let me make a pitch to the group here. Go ahead.

I was never good at baseball. Don't worry. I won't throw anything at you when you're not expecting. So, you know, based on what that paper says, talking about noise and sound. And there's two people in here who really know their sounds real well. Am I right, Sleek? Fellow Bard. Oh.

Sleek looks around. That's you, buddy. Oh, yeah. Sorry. We know our sounds. All of them. And so many sounds. And we can even harmonize.

Ready? Oh. Wow. Wow. I'm just genuinely impressed. Thank you, Hairless Ash, thank you.

I will up your tip by 20%. Sleep bows. All right. What do you guys do? Could I start going and like listening in to each door? You said there's six of them? They're like,

yeah, these like holes in the earth, but they're like these tunnels and they kind of quickly fade off into pitch blackness. So what order do you want? want to go in to try and check out what's with these tunnels. I'd like to just go to the first one.

I saw the one, I guess, closest to the left. The far left. Now we'll call that number one. Good choice, Bart. Thank you. All right, I'm going to need everyone to be very quiet. Sleak, maybe at the same time as I check door number one, you check door number two. You got it, boss.

Okay. Bart, give me a perception check for a tunnel one. Tunnel one, coming in at 21. Ooh. Ooh. Cowbird goes, Woo! I think I heard something.

Yeah, you kind of pressed your ear towards that tunnel and you hear a sound. You hear the sound of someone just kind of whistling a little tune. Oh. Did I get what that sounds like? I wonder if that's copyright free. Yeah, and since Slick is doing that. this simultaneously, give me a perception check for your tunnel. You got it.

That's a that's a not 20. Nice. You hear the sound of a faint giggle, like a small child kind of just kind of giggling to themselves. Vain doesn't like that.

I think I hear a giggle monster at the end of this tunnel. Is it like, ha ha ha ha ha ha. That's like uncannily exactly what it sounds like. Just a pitch black room, and from the corner of the room, you can hear that sound. I think we should go down this tunnel.

I think this is the one. Should we all listen to individual ones? Oh. Yeah. How many tunnels are there again? There's six. Yeah. Yeah.

I'll take the farthest left one unless Bart already got that one. He did. So you can take three. You can take my tunnel, Khyborg, if you want to. He could sleep. Khyberg will take three, and then who will take four? Gumgum will take four. Five, Gus.

And then a hem will take the rear. Okay. Uh, Kyborg, give me a perception check. Perception. Please be something cool. Please don't be creepy laughter. Please don't be creepy baby laughter. I believe that is a 13.

Creepy baby laughter, creepy baby laughter. You hear just the sound of water drops, kind of like almost like they're hitting a pond or a small body of water. Just drip, drip, drip, yeah. I communicate that to the group. Okay. That sounds dangerous.

I think we should swap, Kyborg. That's good. That's very good. There's the Foley work for us. Gum Gum, since you're listening as well, which can be a perception check. 14. You hear the sound of like,

what sounds like a, like almost like a small little creature, like the sound of a smaller creature moving through leaves on the ground. You know, that kind of like sound of just like scuffling and like dried leaves. A big creature or small? Like a small, like almost like a like a mouse.

Gum gum, could you recreate that sound for us? Oh. It's actually pretty good. Guys, I think Gumgun is still a slurping. hutch give me a perception check for your tunnel you got it dude that's a six you listen to your tunnel and you hear nothing guys this is the right way and nailed it okay and if we want to wait for everybody a ham once you go i walk past hutch and i go you have to say this into the silence

out there hello darkness my old friend she's a real song yeah and i'm gonna walk to the six one I rolled a 19. You hear the sound like a hive of bees makes. Exactly. Is it bees or is it buzzy and the jets? Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz. Yeah, you hear like the distant sound of just of what seems to be like a large hive.

PTS-Based, buzz, buzz, buzz. What do you guys do? The canvas thing is that what, we already opened that, right? We had three and I used one. Yeah. What was the riddle? Again, was there another one? I only wrote down the beginning because I couldn't write fast enough,

but the beginning was noise will lead your steps astray. The careful ear will find the way. So then, thank you, Dr. Ham. I mean, Doc, so the silent one is the way to go? Well, he rolled a, on a metagame. He rolled a six. He's the only one who didn't roll as high as the rest of us. I didn't roll.

I put my ear up to the tunnel and I cuffed my hand around it like this. Inspiration dive for Hutch staying in character with how he's doing this. Could I, seeing that Hutch is listening like that, could I go over and help him and listen in as well? Sure. 23. Yeah, you kind of cozy up next to Hutch. And Bart, you hear the sound of wind passing through wind chimes.

The tinkling sound. Sorry. The cloth thing, is it glowing like it was before? From Hutch's pants? Hey Hutch, why don't we take a look at one of those canvases? Okay, that's a, hold on, that's right pocket. Okay. Yeah, Hutch will reach in and pull out a canvas to see if it's doing anything.

Yeah, it's not showing anything right now. Give me an intelligence check. Well, could I, yeah, what I was going to do is try to put it to my ear because it's a careful ear and listen to it. But yeah, intelligence check. That's, uh, six. Oh, okay, yeah. As you put it to your ear, you do hear a voice kind of say to you.

Step with stillness, calm and true. Or shadows come to swallow you. Echoes lie and giggles roam. But hums will guide the soul back home. Hums will guide, would that be? Like a whistle or a bee or a bees? I think maybe we just need to sneak and be real quiet. Step with stillness, calm and true.

So I think we have two options here. Hutch whispering is the best thing ever. It turned a little dorkiest there. So I was like, it was like, it did. I think we have two options here. All right, we can either all as a group go down Hutch's tunnel. Or six children all by themselves can go individually alone down each of their own tunnels. And that's never gone bad before ever, ever before.

So I leave it to a vote on whatever you guys. want to do. Number five, it's not a tunnel. It's a hutch hole. I feel like mine goes into the city sewer system, so I don't think we should go in there unless sleek wants to be very brave. You have the whistle, the kid laughing, the water. Yep, drip drops. Small creature moving through leaves, the wind chimes, and then bees. I'm going to say maybe not the bees or the laughing kid, personally. Are you sure? The bees may come, honey. Yeah, well, maybe he's, it's not bees. Maybe it's someone that's humming. But there was someone whistling in mine.

It says, hums will guide the soul back home. This doesn't seem like a party of impetuous children. You guys are all being methodical and careful with what you're doing. Sleak starts walking down the hutch hole. What is going on? Are you babies or are you heroes? Well, we have to be heroes. We have to be heroes to be in here. Hmm.

Yeah, actually, I think my parents are going to want to talk with Mudd's aunt about how she sent six kids down to these deep dark tunnels by themselves. She did disappear. She might have just been a figment of our imagination. I want to go in the bees. I want to go to the humming. Is it like the bees? They make hummy. Yes, they do. Yeah.

The nest in the like hums. I think we all need buddies, right? So Gumgum and I will go down the bees. And then the pairs, you know, go off into another tunnel. Why don't you guys just go down first? We'll wait out here. You guys are so indecisive. This is insane.

Doc, did you bring it EpiPen? Yeah, we'll go to the bees, and then if we die, then you'll know not to follow us. Exactly, yeah. The perfect plan. Don't forget, if anything happens, I need my glasses. Is that Gus saying that, or is that girl as much? It's from, uh, what is the call to saying that? The girl, what is it called the, what is it's Anna Clemsky saying it from, uh, my girl, my girl.

Oh, right, right, right. All right, I need a decision. Gum, Gum and I start walking out. Yeah, we go to the bees. Okay, are you guys holding hands? As much as I can with crutches, yes. Okay, you guys walk towards the tunnel, and as you pass this kind of threshold of where the light is...

Real quiet. Okay, do it real quietly. Yeah, as everyone's watching, I assume, GumGum and Dr. Ahem just kind of almost like all of a sudden rapidly disappear from something. Wow. Just completely gone. Okay.

No sound, no evidence of them. Do you guys find anything? You can't hear anything. I could die. Mike's just gone. Oh, God. They turned off their cams. That's pretty good.

Does that mean we should go in after them or? We need to save them. My best friend wouldn't leave him behind. Come on, Khyborg, and Sik starts taking off down the tunnel after him. I run. I turn back around and I shrug my shoulders and Bart in Hairless Hutch and then I keep running after Sleek. Come on, Bart. Okay.

I trust you guys. Don't. Yeah. So sounds like the four of you run towards tunnel number six. And just like as you guys are seeing the person in front of you, just completely disaparating from existence. And who took up the rear? I think Bart and Hutch.

Probably me. Bart. As you pass through and walk through the tunnel, there is a moment of just pitch blackness where you can't see anything. And then all of a sudden, you're standing in a room with your five other compatriots, and you are facing another door. It's white and there's clouds everywhere. Cut to a news anchor.

Six bodies found in the city sewer system. It's it. I misspoke. You're actually, you are not in a door. You're in another chamber. You're all another chamber. Interesting. And this chamber smells a little weird.

Hmm. It wasn't me. It smells like an old batch of like uneaten Halloween candy that's kind of past its expiration date. Full-sized candy bars or? Ooh. In the. center of this room that's kind of dimly lit, sits a small round table, like a plastic one from like a play set. Okay. And on top of it, placed carefully on a large paper napkin that's covered in

glittery glue are four oversized jelly beans, each one big enough to hold in two hands. There's a red one, a yellow one, a green one, and a black one. Each gleaming with this kind of inviting sugary shine, and written around the table in Purple Marker, reads, bite the right bean, win the right prize. Pick the wrong bean, oopsie, surprise. Diary. Okay, guys, we have to be really careful because I'm pretty sure that black jelly bean is black licorish, the worst of them all.

And so we definitely don't want to bite into that one. I feel like Slee's favorite flavor would be black licorish. Shit, more for me. Okay, bite the right bean, get the right prize. Something about a stinky surprise. Can I pull out the square canvas again and take a look at it just to be safe? Sure. I'm going to need an intelligence check again for this one.

You can call it an intellectual check if you want. An intellectual check. I don't know why I'm rolling so well on those days. That's a 16. Wow. That's not bad. Hutch, smartest member of Stinky Dragon lore. Yeah, Hutch, do you do the same thing where you put it to your ear?

I don't think this time, no. I think last time there was a precedent for it. This time he would just pull it out and look at it. You do see ink kind of pour out of this, kind of spread over this canvas again, and you do hear words one more time. And they say, One is spicy, but makes you freeze.

Another is so sweet. It sparks a sneeze. One taste burnt, but makes you sore. The best is sour. It opens the door. Okay, so we want the sour one. Oh, there's red. That one might be burnt.

Everything I learned about candy, I learned from Sour Amy. So it makes sense that the sour one opens the door. Yeah, and what, did, did Amy have like a favorite color or anything like that? Oh, she did. I can't, I think it was. Maybe green. Maybe it was green. Maybe black is burnt.

I think red spot. spicy, yellow, I feel like that would be sour and green would be sweet. I don't think the opposite would be sour. Yeah, yeah. I think it's like green apple. Yeah. Dr. Ahem steps forward and says, I never get candy and picks up the one that's nearest him. Perfect.

Ooh. I like this. What color is closest to Dr. Ahem? I'm going to let you pick. How many are there again? Four. Four. The third one.

Red, yellow, green. So green? Uh, yeah. Okay. You pick up that jelly bean. Yes. And do what? Put it all in my mouth.

Okay. It's big enough that you couldn't shove the whole thing in your mouth But it sounds like you're taking a big old job I unhinged my jaw He's a cobald He's a cobald It's like a Ned and Eddie when they put one of the jawbreakers in their mouth You see their cheek like

I'm playing in this space Unlock the head gear Hope unhinge the jaw You guys see one of the most frightening things You've ever seen in your life Where this young toddler unhinges their jaw And opens up like the mummy from the mummy and just consumes this entire green jelly bean.

Guys, remind me to apologize to Dr. Aham earlier for talking over him. I just, I feel like I didn't do that right. I need a constitution saving throw from Dr. Ahemks, from doctor. I thought it was from us from the horror we just watched. Yeah. It's a natural one. Oh, no. You start feeling freezing cold and you take one cold damage.

Which one did you eat? Green. Green. Green is spicy. Wait, no, cold. Sorry, yes. You feel a spice in the back of your tongue, followed by a very strong cold feeling.

Hey, the yellow one. Yeah. Do you unhinge your jaw, or do you just take a big bite? Gum gum, looks at Dr. Hen. Yes. And then just, like, turns away from him like he's afraid, and then eats the jelly bean.

Okay, you went for the yellow one? Yeah. You take a bite of the yellow one. and you feel the most lip-puckering sour flavor you've ever felt in your life. Lemon, I forgot about lemons. And in front of you, you see a door appear on the other side of the room. As in it's so sour that I'm seeing things. Yeah, it's kind of blurry and a little like watery because your eyes are really put.

But you can see something has appeared on the wall across you. And the rest of you, you do look across. That's GumGum's happy face. He's happy. Can I help lead Dr. Hymn because he's frozen? Yeah. Yeah, I'll guide him to the door. Or do we need to all take a bite?

No, the door's appeared and it's there. It's solid. Okay. Right this way, Doc. Good job. All right, door. Can I keep the jelly bean? Yeah.

What do you do with it? Can I put it in my pocket? Yeah, you kind of can fit it like, it's really big, so you can fit it like sticking out of your pocket. And as you walk towards. the door, you can feel your pocket getting loose again. You turn around and you see the jelly bean is on the table again. Canonically, baby gumbum is wearing jingo jeans.

Gum bum, yeah. Will we have muddy buddy? What was he? Muddy daddy. Muddy daddy and gumbum. All right. Let's bravely go through the door. Okay.

Okay. You open the door. Yeah. And then this next chamber, it's small and oddly kind of quiet. It's not really much to see or hear. The walls here are a lot smoother than the other rooms, and they're rounded into kind of a dome roof. It's like a giant bowl carved out into the earth.

And in the center is just simply what looks to be a large, dark hole in the ground. And the only light in the room is coming from a few little crystals in the walls pulsing with red energy. And there's no sign, no writing anywhere. It's just a hole in the ground in the center. And it's kind of big enough for just kind of like one of you guys, to be able to, like, maybe fit through. Hutch, you're experienced with holes, aren't you? Yeah, that's a classic example of a hutch hole there.

I think I'm going to go wiggle my way in there, and Hutch makes a B-line for it. It's just like, how we're walking. Nah. Do you want us to hold, like, a jump rope or something, Hutch? I know a DM who hates that stuff, so, nah. There's something terrifying about hearing Hutch wiggle forward, like a lizard, like,

and wiggle it. Like something from Rango. Okay, so, um, you, look into the hole as you approach it and it almost immediately vanishes into complete darkness, you can just barely see that at some point it does kind of curve a little bit, almost like curving up a little bit, but just faintly. And there's a breeze that drifts up from below. It's cool and it smells like sugar. And oh, that familiar voice on the breeze whispers to you all and it says, those who wait will never know

what lies beyond unless they go I jump in the hole I jump in the hole on top of on top of the way no no you're climbing down I jump on top of you okay got it got it got it

wait explain to me how this is happening so if he's going like this I'm imagining like going down the hole head first climbing in like this okay actually funny thing happens as you both approach that hole and make the decision

to kind of head down, I need a wisdom saving throw. I'm great at these. Hutch was practicing his my-mean skills for seven. That's 13. That's a nine. Okay. Hutch, you do manage to kind of make your way down and start

kind of shimmying down this hole. Kiborg? I think you're scared of the dark. It's impossible. I have a, hold on, hold on. Daddy vision. Dark vision. He said night vision, Chris. Maybe.

Click, cling. I'm thinking about that Barney animation. Yeah. Kiborg is standing there at the edge of this hole and he's kind of like, he's pulling a dock. He's frozen in fear. Oh, God. What are you guys going to do? Khyborg just went down the hole.

Maybe we just dropped frozen to him down the hole after him. Okay. Well, Khyborg is standing at the edge of the hole not going in. Oh. He is frozen in fear. It's okay, Kaibu. Do you want a hug? Do you want a hug?

Yeah. Sure, sure, I'll take it. Don't tell so put it out. He really want to hug. Should we all get in on this action? Yeah. Do you want to get it on this action, Slee? Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, everybody, come on, come on. I think if there's a group hug happening, Sleek is going to be the first one in there. Throw me in the hole. Okay, Gumgum and Sleek, give me a persuasion check. That is a 22. Whoa. And a 20.

Those are some good hugs. I'm very good at that. Kyborg, you feel one of the most powerful things ever, the power of friendship. And it overwhelms you. And yeah, don't fight these feelings, Khyborg. Don't fight. Don't run away from these feelings, okay? These are friends.

These are friends that are here to help you. And you know what? You feel like you can go down the hole. Why does the power of friendship smell so bad? You got me and Gum Gum really, I get to lean in close. I go, look, Kaiborg, I know, I know you're just. doing this because I'm afraid of the dark. And you're trying to really help me save face here.

So I appreciate it, buddy. But you don't got to be scared anymore. What did you eat for breakfast sleep? Onion rings. This is only thing. Nice callback. That's good. Kaiborg, you managed to jump in and disappear down the hole.

Great. I'll go next. Blue Skadoon weekend, too, and I'd jump in after him. Yeah, I need a wisdom check from both of you. Okay. Wisdom saving throw. Sorry, wisdom saving throw from both of you. Oh, 17. 15.

Yeah, you both managed to muster up. And you guys look, and you both are holding hands. You didn't even realize you were doing that. And you both jump in together. Wow. And you guys disappear from sight. We both jump in at the same time and just wedge. Yep.

Yep. And you kind of have to, like, kind of like breathe in and out and kind of create, like, suction areas. And then you guys kind of, like, go down a little bit at a time. And they're gone. That sounded graphic. Shall we go in together, boss? Yeah, you want to, like, hug and then jump in?

Seems to work for them pretty well. I don't know if I've ever had a hug before. Oh, my God. Oh, my God, that is so sad. Well, I don't want to break any more of your very frail bones. Yes, thank you very much. Doc canonically is, like, Samuel Jackson from Unbreakable. Okay, a hug?

Yeah. Wisdom saving throw with advantage. Wow, gonna need that. 11. A 10. Both of those are just good enough and you both manage to get down into the hole. And what you find is that it is a slide.

You guys are sliding down into the darkness. Yes, feel free to enjoy the ride. I was very tempted to go, this is Bartah, and I kick. Yeah, so you guys all head down this slide and BART's the last one to make it through. And Bart, you land with a soft, like, flumpf into what is kind of like a kitty pool. And not a flump, a flump.

But the kitty pool is not full of water. It's packed with shimmering pixie dust sugar. Ooh. And you guys are all in this kitty pool. Could I dip my finger in and give it a little taste? Yeah, rub it on your teeth. It tastes fantastic, the best pixie dust ever. Like, this is like vintage the good stuff.

Can I dip my mouth into it and just go, oh, dip your mouth into it? Just shovel with your lower jaw. Don't let Doc near it again. Khyborg, you actually feel better. If you need a hit point, you gain a hit point. If you're at top, you get one temporary hit point.

Don't worry, I'll throw up here in a second. Okay, ahead of you is a narrow hallway. And it glows with a soft green light. You guys head in that direction, I assume? It's the only way that you can go from here. Highboard goes down it, but he's shadow boxing because he's so hyped up on sugar. He's got what we call the zoomies. Yeah.

Is there enough candy for more? Yeah, I mean, it's a kiddie pole full of it. Gumgum eats one help way back. Yay, I need it. I figured. I turned to Hutch and I pull out my hammer, I go, they'll never take me back. Let's go build a tunnel. Some shawshank there.

Okay, you guys head towards this tunnel, I assume, just moving things forward. Yes. Yeah. And you see along this tunnel the heads of stuffed animals line the walls. Oh. Bears, badgers, unicorns, a worm with a crown. They're all stuffies. Not real.

They all stare at you silently as you walk. pass. Their eyes feel like they're following you. Like a doll's eyes. Like those eyes. We have to be very careful. Mighty Hunter has to live here to have hunted down all of these stuffy beasts mounting their heads along this wall. This is a sign of intimidation. As you head down the end of this tunnel at the far end, you find what looks to be a giant pile of just multicolored pillows. And resting on top of those pillows is a wooden box. And the lid of this wooden box looks like, it's shaped like a giant badgers. Would one say that it's a box that one could burrow in? You know, that's up to you. Perhaps a burrow box. Should we borrow the burrow box?

It was good. Could I go up to it and look closer? Yeah. See if there's anything special about the box? Let's all hurry up and go look. Nice one. How long you've been holding on that one? I've had a few in my mind. I've been sitting on waiting and push that one in. That's why I pay you the big bucks. That one felt preloaded.

Yeah, you want to go up and you're investigating, I assume, is what it sounds like? Why don't you give me an investigation check then? What's in the box? I don't know, because I rolled it nine. We're too young to have seen that movie. That's scary. You have to be at least seven years old. Yeah, you look, and it, you know, it's a wooden box, almost like a, like a toy chest kind of box, and it has a badger as the lid that's kind of like smiling.

Oh, this is cute. Is there any, like, poems or anything we should be listening for? This is it. This is the gift for Muddy-Duddy. It's a box. His aunt, aunt, forget how you guys say it. Said something about how he'd love a burrow box for his birthday. So, I mean, this is a box.

I'm sure it's safe. Let her rip. Go open it up. Open the back. I'll work braces. Okay. I'll give it an open. You're going for the lid to open it up? Yep. Give me a strength check. I meant to bring along some mushrooms for this badger, so I don't know.

I forgot. 18. You try really hard to open up this box. You got some strong halfling. That's a stout halfling right there. And dense. It doesn't manage to open at all. It seems to be, like, just stuck shut.

No, I think this might take more than one of us, or maybe some of us. The finger guns appear. I've been waiting for this moment for about two hours and 17 minutes. Give a shot. What do you do, Slake? That's a solid 19 rolling a hit. I aim my gun. I look down the sights.

I go, I feel like I could be a really good archer one day. And I just fired. At the box. Yeah, at the box. Okay. Way to go. You're destroying our friend's pricing. What are you trying out to open the box?

What's in the box? Yeah. So you rolled a 19 on a hit. So is there damage? There is. It is two, two ones. Oh, it's okay. It's two damage.

Two total points of damage. That's not bad. Okay. You do shoot the box with your finger guns. What's that spell call again? Finger guns. Okay. Okay.

And the box, the lid doesn't open, but the box does. managed to kind of like teeter back a little bit and kind of like move a little bit. And the whole room just ever so slightly shuddered a little bit. So it's simple. We just got to shoot the box all the way back up the hole, the whole way back. Maybe we have to put the box in the ground. Or maybe only mud could open it.

Do we bet the badger? Do we take the box? Do we just maybe take it? Yeah. I'd like to roll for a gift receipt. Yeah, can we pick up the box? I mean, you can do what you want. You just got to tell me what you're going to do.

I pick up the box. How heavy is it? Gum gum goes to pick up the box? Yeah, and he pets the badger while he does it. That's nice. Give me a strength check. Gum gum gum. You can do it gum gum, I believe.

20. 20. 30 20. Gumgo goes up and flexes those baby orc muscles. Maybe pulls up his diaper just a little bit to kind of muster up extra courage. Yeah, right up above the belly button. It goes up to his chest. It's like a gumgum's got to do and a gumgum's got to do.

Yeah. And he reaches down and he goes to pull up this box with all of his infant strength. And he overcalculates and pulls the box all the way up over his head. And he's holding the box above his head in triumph. Da-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na. And as he picks up the box, like I said, it's surprisingly light. And I think you can faintly hear a little bit of like a playful growling coming from the box. Oh, my goodness. It's a pet.

You almost made stuffing out of that badger Sleak I can't believe I shot that box Who am I? Oh my God Are there air holes in the box? No, there's no air holes in the box. We gotta hurry.

We gotta go now. Well, as you're holding the box of your head, the pillows that it was sitting on they began to like twist and stretch. What? And you realize they're not exactly just pillows. Oh no.

they're like they're shaped in like familiar looks they're like assorted animal shapes these are like squish mellows and as they move and ship you not sponsored not sponsored they are you can tell that they're kind of all fused together and you know there's like animal arms stitched to legs and legs merged into bellies and as it contorts into what kind of starts looking like a almost like a recognizable humanoid form, you see some large black buttons kind of like swirl across the surface of these squish mellows, and they form together on what seems to be like the head of this thing into four angry eyes. Oh. Guys, my parents accidentally rented Akira one time because they thought that it was a cartoon. This is bad news. We need to kill this thing.

Yes. So, whoa. So is it like Megatron? type thing like it's all like as it kind of rises up it kind of starts standing on these legs and a giant stuffy creature is looming over you and it stretches and out comes one two three four arms oh no and a head at top of it shaped like a dragon i'm watching blaine's face to see when he realizes it it roars but not like a typical like uh Organic beast

Or animal There it was. It's just quadrant. But with a horrifying squeak of like a thousand squeaky toys like crushed at once. That's a, ooh, I like that.

Stuffy Drun has awakened. Stuffy Drun. Roll for initiative. Hit pause on whatever you're listening to and hit play on your next adventure. This fall get double points on every qualified stay. Life's the trip. Make the most of it at Best Western. Visit bestwestern.com for complete terms and conditions. Pumpkin is here at Starbucks and we're making it just the way you

like. Handcrafted with real ingredients like our real pumpkin sauce and rich espresso, sprinkled with pumpkin spice. It's full of real flavors you'll keep coming back for. Made just for you at Starbucks. Oh my God. I have. Kyrh, sleek, touch already have rolled for initiative. I need Bart, gum, gum, and a hem. You got it. I'm so committed to the infant nights that I decided I'm not taking a bathroom break. I'm in character. I have a diaper on right now.

Whole stream. Whole stream, guys. 18. A real man just peas his pants without a diaper. 10. For all the cool kids are doing. A baby's got to do what a baby's got to do. 10 for gum gum, Bart did an 18.

Doc. Four. Oh, you're four. Okay. Kiborg and sleek, I need your roll off. both roll 13s. Do you want to do dexterity or, uh, I'm an 18 for dexterity? I am at a, where's my dexterity? 12 for dexterity. Very good. Okay. Thank you for that. Yes. All right. So, you guys are in the middle of this chamber. There is just pieces of toys and stuffies all surrounding

you. Gum gum, you are holding this badger themed box. That's just a assume it's the burrow box. And top of the order is Bartholomew Finn. After Bart will be Khyborg and then sleek. Have at thee. Can you remind me one more time of his name? Oh, stuffy dron. Stuffy dron.

Stuffy dron. All right. Stuffy dron. For some reason, I feel like you're going to be a enemy of ours. The creature goes, like confused. Is he kind of by himself? Like, we're not near him, right?

Like, he's, like, at one side of the room and we're on the other side? I would say that since you guys fell down the slide, you're, like, a good, like, 15 feet from him. Gumgum is right next to him. Oh, okay. I would like to cast dissonant whispers. How does that spell work?

So, for this spell, I whisper a discordant melody that only one creature of my choice within range can hear racking it with terrible pain. The target must make a wisdom-saving throw on a failed save. It takes 3D6 of psychic damage and must immediately use its reaction, if available, to move as far as its speed allows away from you. Gotcha.

But we'll just start with that. What do you whisper to it to make it feel bad? You're not as soft as you love. Oh, oh. Such an insult. I cover gumgum's ears. What do I roll? Is there a roll that I do for a save?

Yes, it's a save of 13. Of what? Oh, wisdom. Wisdom. Wisdom. I rolled a six. Okay, so that's a fail. Yep. So that does 3D6.

That is eight points of psychic damage. And it also must immediately use its reaction to move as far away as its speed allows. All right. Well, stuffy drone is recoiling in squeaky pain, just the sound of like a bunch of rubber chickens all, like, being ripped open. And it runs back further to the back of this room away from y'all. I was right next to it. Do I get to swinging next? Yeah, yeah. You get a opportunity attack. Why not?

Yeah. That's 24 to hit. 24 does hit when she roll me some melee damage. That was a six. I don't have an axe equipped. So what are you hitting it with? I think I just headbutted it. Okay, so on arm strike? Yeah, yeah. I'm holding the chest, right?

Yeah. So I go, bam. Okay. And then you, what damage was that again? Six. Six. Okay. Thank you very much.

And then Bart, what do you do with the rest of your turn? I think that's it. Okay, dokey. We have Kydelius. Kibabius. Okay. Before I left my house, did I happen to steal my mom's bow, the long bow of Kristillina, or am I just rocking the long bow?

You're just rocking your little longbow that you've made on your own. Okay, great. Okay. The not so long bow. Then I'm going to take aim at squastron, squish that guy, the bad guy. And I mumble under my breath and be like, this is for my parents who I'm going to pretend they're dead, but they're not dead yet. It's just his like, is made up, like dark backstory, but his parents are at home, like watching Matlock. Yeah. Yeah. All right. And then I take a shot.

And that is... Oh, that's not bad. That's a 27. 27 will hit. Yeah, it will. Roll for damage. Oh, come on. Did an eight and then it rolled to the two. That's a six. Six what? Piercing. Okay. Oh, which you know. Come on. It's going to squeaky toys.

Yeah, it takes some damage. Yeah, one of your, your arrows do stick into, like, its shoulder. And then, uh, I'm going to move, like, away from the group, but I'm going to keep equidistant from the thing, just to spread us out in case there's, like, area of attack stuff. Right. Yeah, you're, like, on the edge of the room, so you could, like, move back maybe five feet to the wall.

Perfect. And as you move back five feet, and you're kind of, like, looking at your, uh, your handiwork, the big stuffy does actually look at that arrow on its shoulder, and it kind of, like, almost like, flates a little bit, and the arrow just kind of pops out. Oh, it's like a zit. Is that what you do? Do you flex your zits off?

You don't? No. Oh, okay. You'll have to teach me that one day, Kyborg? sleek. Kyborg's right. Khyborg's right. I think we all need to split up. It'll really, really distract him, and I'm going to take off running after Kyborg. So like five feet back? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And I go, all right, you're right, you're right, you're right. We got this. this. In a moment of in Bardic

inspiration, Sleek starts humming and he's got a go left. I like that, yeah. And Sleek's going to pull out a little toy bow with like one of those suction cups on the end. Yeah. And he's going to pull it back and he's going to cast the spell

Elshott, which is my last spell slot, a level one spell. I love that you got to build Sleek for this adventure and these are the custom things you put in. I just got a best friend. Yeah. I'm going to cast Elf shot and try to take a shot at Kyborg.

No, sorry, it's got to him. He spoke what he really felt. If I get rid of him now, I can become him. Oh, my God. Roll for a hit. Let's see here. I'm reading, you pretend to shoot an arrow with a tiny bow. Okay.

Make a range spell attack against a creature within range. On hit, the target creature stumbles is pushed five feet in a random direction. Okay. Roll a D.8 and assign a direction to each. die face and its speed is zero until the end of its next turn. Okay. So I will make a range spell attack. I never do this.

I got to remember how to hit. That's a Nat one. I expected nothing better. You lived up to my expectations a little sleek. Yeah, you arc back your arm and like do your best Kyborg impression, Kai baby impression. And as you let go, you let go of your front hand and the like magical bow like snaps back and the little magical arrow kind of

ting off like the wall behind you and kaiberg i'm going to need you to make a dexterity saving throw to not get hit by this stray magical arrow that's you blaine oh oh i'm so sorry i was putting my massage thing i'm running dexterity right all eyes were on you for a moment there and you are just blissfully not here. Dude, I've been there sometimes in some sessions where I didn't realize someone called on me to do something and I'm just like... Here's the thing.

My back shoulder has been like killing me and Kristen a while ago bought me this massager thing. And I just put it on and I was just sitting here just going, no, you were viving, just not with us. You said deck saving throw, right? Deck saving throw. That's a 10.

You managed to dodge it and you might be rethinking your strategic spot in this, this chamber. My lie. Slick, do you do anything else for your turn?

There's a reason I'm a bard. That's never, I'm never casting that spell ever again canonically. And with my, my moment of horrible,

horrible, uh, aim, I would like to inspire Khyborg to be way better than I am in our tree. And I'll give you some bardic inspiration,

Guyboard. What is that great? Khyborg. He can use a bardic inspiration to roll a 1D6 and add it to his, I believe any saving throw or maybe attack roll. Let me read up on this.

I want to say it's like any role. It's been a while since I played a bard. Yeah. Okay. Then while you're figuring out the details of that, Gum Gum, you are up next. And then we'll be Doc. After GumGum and after Doc will be the stuffy.

I want to toss the box. No one help him. What's it called? I got it. Oh, I got notes. The burrow box. I tossed the burrow box behind. Impressive.

Is it that he had to look up what the name of this thing was? I'm just happy he wrote it down. You know, we take our wins. We take our blessings where we can, okay? And then GumGum goes, You don't look so fluff. And then charges and gives the big fluffy thing a big hug and tries to like grapple it and sleep with it.

Okay, let's solve the first part of that first. Yeah, like a pillow. Like a pillow. Okay, grapple would be an opposing strength check, yes? Fellow DMs? Yeah, it can choose strength or dexterity. Okay. And I guess I'll rage too while I'm doing that.

Okay, yeah, we'll say you rage. How does it sound when a baby rages? Eh, ha ha ha ha ha. It would be a fit. It would be a fit. Everyone's stand back gum comes either about to rage or poop himself, and I'm really not certain which one. It's bad.

Do you want some baby crying noises or no more? Oh, yeah, Barb's good. I think we're fresh, John. We're good on this bar. We just stocked up on those. Just once for Foley, if we could, you know, for the edit. Oh, my God. You know how they say, like, hearing an infant cry, like, triggers things in your, like, DNA.

That happens, but I'm annoyed by it. What did you roll for your grapple? Well, I got advantage on strength-based, okay. 23. 23? Yeah, that manages to get stuffy drone. and stuff you join is now grappled by maybe gung-gum. And then Gump-Gum's going to attempt to use his bonus action to sleep.

You raged. Oh, yeah, that's right. Then I'm just going to go, eh. I'll let's take a free action to fake sleep. I'll take that. I still know what you were going to do. Yes, Gum-Gum seems to be sleeping on the big enemy across the room. And it is Doc's turn.

Doc's going to turn to Kiborg and say, I need your help with something. Don't shoot me. Just whatever you do. I'm not sorry. I'll help with whatever you want, Doc. I just need your mouth, really. It's totally normal thing to say.

Yes, yes, yes, yes. It pulls out like a little toy megaphone thing and says, I need us to shout in this thing together in Draconic, okay? Yeah, yeah, I could do that. Yeah, I've been watching my PBS Draconic lessons where they teach you Draconic. What's like a show that would teach foreign language for kids? What was the one with Muzzi?

Oh. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Bonjour. Yes, that's French. Those kids are speaking. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wait, why did you perfectly summon that?

Like, one of the, like a few years into moving to Austin, I went to one of our half-priced books, which is a branch that we don't have where I come from. And I was walking through it, and I saw in like in a glass case, a copy of Muzzy for sale. And it was the most like, oh, my God, it exists. It's real. Yeah. Because I'd only seen it on TV, like, you know, in between episodes of Sesame Street. I was just so impressed at the age of, like, 30.

Oh, I've been watching my Dragora the Explorer. So I'm ready to do this. All right, and I hold up the megaphone to both of us. And we both yell and draconic. And three, two, one. Oh, blah, blah, blah, blah. We're trying to sleep. All enemies that can hear our draconic cry.

We have advantage on now. everybody has advantage on them a little buffing that was almost as good as me and sleek harmonizing I'll give you that you know that's my bonus action for my action I'm going to pull out

a little bottle and it looks like a black liquid and I got this from my father's garage it's something that will stain pillows to no end I call it grease and I cast grease onto the pillow oh grease lightning And it needs to make a deck save.

Okay, it rolls a 15. That'll do. Okay, this is immune to grease, apparently. It just kind of absorbs the grease into the feet of the stuffy drone, and it's just kind of like stained now forever. It's got that scotch protection on it. God, that was a thing. And then I nurse my throat that is now sore, okay.

Nice. Okay, it's going to be the stuffy. is next. After that will be hutch, and then we will be back at the top of the order with Bart. You got it. And this giant toy is not happy with this giant baby grabbing onto it. So it's going to try to oppose your grapple. And, ooh, it rolled a Nat 20 on that. It is done with your grapple check, but that's going to be part of its turn. It's actually then going to, since gum gum's right there and it's got you, it's broken off. It's going to actually take a swing at you, a big old swipe with one of its big old animal arms, stuffed animal arms, and it's going to

roll a crappy roll, an eight. I'm assuming that doesn't get past your barbarian armor. Which is just nothing. A diaper. It's just a diaper. The diaper pulled up to his chest. Yeah. Okay. That's going to be its turn. We are at Hutch. The first time, Aarless Hutch is going to be in battle. That's me. Hairless Hatch gets a cold, steely look in his eyes and slowly draws his foam long sword from his side. The Nerf one.

Yeah, and says, Leave my friends alone. Oh. And he charges into battle swinging his foam sword at his enemy. I thought it would be so funny if you just turned and ran out. Just trying to like doing that like trying to go up to slide but it's too slippery and there's, you can't go up. So, yeah, he's going to charge in

and try to take a swing with his foam long sword. Okay. Dr. Hemusus says, Megaphone says, you have advantage. Oh. I have advantage. That's a good thing I have advantage because the first one was a one. Oh, no.

The second one is a 22. That will hit once you roll for damage. He brings the foam longsword down doing 10 points of damage. What kind of damage? A long sword is slashing damage. But if it's a foam long sword, I don't know if you want to play with the space, if it's

bludgeoning. I'll leave that to you. It's, we'll let it be just the same damage of what it is. I appreciate you playing with the imagery. I call upon the power of hair to smite the divinely. And what does that do? A divine smite lashes out

from his weapon, striking for an additional, cool, two points of damage. It's just so funny that he's a pallet. I know. It's just this holy energy emanating from this weird little lizard. Okay, so that was, what was the slashing damage? Ten, and then two points from Divine Smyte.

Hairless Hutch has never looked more heroic, running across this room into the fray of battle and takes a blinding holy swipe at this abomination. And as it slashes down on this monster, a little bit of a streak of a cut happens along like the leg of this thing. But as the swipe finishes, It kind of like it leaves a little bit of Mark, but the leg kind of rebounds just a little bit.

Curse it. So it's not down. Not down, no. It's not a down pillow. That's an inspiration, nice. I like that one. All right, we are now back at the top, and we have Bartholomew, followed by Cydelius, followed by sleep.

All righty here. Well, what's you going to do? I feel like Stuffy Drun needs a little music in his life. Oh. You know. Am I right, Blake? He's just droning like a low alto note, just waiting for someone to pick up on it.

I'm trying to harmonize. I don't know what I'm doing. So I'm going to go ahead and bring out the... I also don't know. I remember this particularly caused question during our campaign. I don't know if I was supposed to have it or not. Oh, I know what you're going to say. Could I cast blue fever of bluegrass?

I'm going to ask the DM that made that. Fine with me. You know what? Yes. Here's what it does. Okay, tell me. Once per turn, you could send forth a shockwave of blue vibrating energy. I love this.

That surges forward towards the target from my banjo. Okay. Those targets, or this target, must make a charisma saving throw or become enthralled by the feverish music. Okay. On a failed save, the target begins to feverishly dance through the magical influence of the music and cannot take an action, bonus action, or use movement until the end of their next turn. Wow.

Seems totally fair to me. Yeah. Totally fair. Impartial G. What's the check this thing has to make? I believe it's a charisma saving throw. And is this a targeted attack or is this an area of effect attack? I think it is a targeted.

It does not say. Okay. I will allow this attacks once. One. Okay. I regret agreeing to this before I heard the description. How charismatic is this pillow? Yeah.

So what's the, it's charisma? Yes, charisma saving throw. And what's the check? It does not have one, but I'll assume it's 13, like the wisdom saving throw on the previous one. Yeah, your spill save, yeah. And as we know, Stuffydron has zero charisma. It actually has. negative three charisma.

That's about right. Even better. But it did roll a 17. So we got 14. Okay, so it makes it. It does actually start like two of its arms. Just kind of start jigging a little bit. The other two arms are just kind of ready for battle still.

So it's kind of like you got a little bit of it kind of going. It's there to do a little bit of some fun. But it's ready to smash some kids as well. All right. Bart does that thing where he's playing it and then all of a sudden hits the wrong note. It's just like, It's just like the string breaks. Yeah.

Oh, no, your guitar hero score. Do you have anything you want to do? I'll cast a bardic inspiration. On. I'm going to give it to my fellow bard sleek. Oh. Yeah. How often does a bard get bardic inspiration from another bard?

You know, probably not very often. We're doing it, Bart, we're harmonizing. Ready, a one, a two, a one, two, three. Ah. Oh, God. It gets worse. We just see our stream numbers drop. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Fantastic. Is that your turn? That is my turn. Give me some fighting Kai baby. Okay, I'm going to whip out a spell. It's one that Kiborg has never used. I cast child protective services. No, I'm going to use my longbow.

Okay. Again. Take another shot at it? Yeah, I'll take a little. another shot that is a roll over to that 15 there we go that's a 23 does hit and then when I use the uh bardic inspiration that sleek gave me do I add that onto damage or is it just to the roll that's gonna be for a check yes okay okay and I'll continue to hold on to that yep even though that dice is really sticky for some reason my gum drops and then I rolled damage not bad not bad

That is an 11 piercing damage. Okay. Nice. Another true arrow flies across the room and sticks into the other shoulder of stuffy dren. And just like last time, it kind of gets in there and lodges. And then stuffy dren kind of just goes a little shimmy with its arm and pops out the arrow. Okay. And then with my movement speed, I want to see if I can like get around stuffy dren.

They're pretty far from stuffy dren because they kept pushing stuffy dren back. Got it. What's your movement speed? That would be 35? Whoa. You could start getting around stuff you're trying to circle around it. I'm just like spreading out, surrounding them on all sides. I really just, to be honest, Kai Baby just wants to shoot him in the butt.

You are just barely like you're to the side of it and just barely to the rear. But almost like parallel to it, but just a little bit behind it, okay? Okay, it works. But yeah, you're making your way that way. And that's your movement. Anything else? That's it. Good turn, good turn.

Okay. Then we have Sleek followed by Gum Gum, followed by Doc. Sensing what Khyborg wants to do and just knowing Khyborg, he's trying to get in prime butt advantage to shoot this thing in the butt. Khyborg's going to run the opposite, or not Khyborg, Sleek's going to run the opposite direction. Hey, hey, hey, hey, over here, over here. And he sees it bearing down toward Bart after Bart cast that spell and just goes, you stay away from him, you Beanie Baby. finger guns at this thing again. Are you moving? Or was that color commentary?

I'm moving like so I can try to position him like between me and like distract them from Khyborg. What's your speed? Half speed 15 feet because I still have brick shoes. I assume. Yeah, brick shoes. Okay. Yeah.

You managed to get closer to stuff you joined and a little bit to the side. But you're not quite getting as far as Khyborg went. No, no, no. I'm doing a good job. I'm doing a good job. Yeah, yeah. I can tell. Yeah, yeah.

You're delusional. It's fine. And I will cast finger guns. All right. Roll for that again. That's a Nat 20. Nice. The highs and lows.

Finger guns does what kind of damage? 2D6. I think it's automatically doubling it. I believe it's pew, pew, pew, pew damage. Specifically. It is force damage. Force damage.

And what did you roll? I rolled. That's a lot of dice. 17. Wow. It's giving you 4D6. I believe because I rolled a Nat 20. It's auto-fitting.

The way we do that, it would be 2D6 plus another max, right? Correct. Don't really. We would do 2D6 plus max, which would be 12. Okay, I'm going to take the first two rolls plus another 6, so I'm going to give you 13 damage. Nice. I'll take it.

Okay, 13 damage. Pretty good. To stuffy Drin, very good. Piu-Pew. Poo-Pew, indeed. As the current player of Natty Wonder, I'm a fan of another person shooting things out of the fingers. You know, I should really wait until someone's monologuing to do this.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right. And anything bonus? Nope, that's it. Okay, it is now... Gum gum, all right. You're asleep. I'm sorry, what?

You're asleep. Gum gum gum is asleep. Oh, Gum gum went to sleep. Chris. Gum gum gum is asleep. But not like really a sleep. I know. It was a joke.

Sorry, I was like legitimately confused. Like, wait, did I get... Do you that? laugh track. I have never seen a joke missed so many times. He was playing in your space in the TV.

Then I was like, wait, did I miss something? Was there an asleep spellcast on me? Wake up, Chris. Anyway, Gumgum wakes up, he goes, uh-oh, looks like you have bedhead. And then jumps up with his great axe. Try to swing it around at its head.

All right. Once you roll for attack on that. I want it to be a grape axe. Grape. I'm going to cast poo poo. All right. 19. 19 will hit.

Nice. You have advantage as well. Oh, I do. This is Chris's first time playing D&D. Well, I forgot it. Okay, you rolled a critical fail for your second roll. Yeah, yeah. So we'll go with the first one.

We'll go in first. It was a 19, and you rolled 9. Is that what that is? 9 plus 2 for raging, so 11. What kind of damage is that? The slashing. All right. You swing your axe around, and you kind of managed to catch it a little bit along its belly, its abdomen,

and then it kind of brings out and kind of pushes the axe out for kind of like half of your attack. Oh, no. I guess that's it. Okay. That is it. All right. It's going to be stuffy drone, followed by Hudson. and then back to the top of the order, okay?

What about me? Oh, sorry, you're next. Doc, and then stuffy and then a hutch. Doc turns to a hutch and pulls out this like box and it has like a plus and a minus on it and he goes, Oh, would you hold onto this for me? Okay. And then he pulls out like rubber gloves and like,

and like then he takes two wires and connects them to the box and goes, I got this from my father's garage as well and he starts running towards the pillow and goes, and goes, let's turn this plushy into mushy. And he casts, and he does jolt. Um, so he's going to roll for jolt. Is jolt a ranged attack or is it a melee range? It's, uh, it's actually a ranged attack, but I'm going to, I'm going to get a write-up on it.

Okay. And I rolled, docks all amped up. A dirty 20. That will hit. And I got eight on the, on lightning damage with my car battery. Dang. This stuffy junt is looking singed and sad. I like to think that Hutch, like all his hair is like, fink, out of his pockets.

He starts stuffing it down. Drops the box. We need to give Michael less time in between turns, so he can't come up with all these good one-liners. He's making us look bad. He's schooling you. We're all doing good. I thought you guys were the pros. I know.

Yeah, that was very good. Stuffie Drun is really not. happy with all of this attacks on, they were just, they were just napping. They were just napping in this room and you guys came and took its box. And so stuffy drone actually reaches to the side of it and grabs kind of a discarded stuffy and actually like adds it to its back and kind of fuses it to it. And another arm kind of grows out of the back of stuffy drone. And it kind of like by doing that, it almost. It feels like there's more stuffing in him now, and he's standing a little taller, and he will actually take that hand in all four other hands and smash them down on, looks like it's Doc, Hutch, and GumGum, who are in range.

And you guys need to make a dexterity saving throw, to see if this doesn't damage. I'm so dexterous. Oh, I roll a natural one again. Seven. Touch roll to six. Oh, yeah, six, sorry. How long you've been muted and thought you were talking? Just right there when I said six.

Okay, you guys all failed. Are you sure, though? I am quite sure. You guys are all going to take some bludgeoning damage, which will be nine points of bludgeoning damage. Wow. Really? That's bad. Just talking to him say that out loud?

Yeah, it did sound a little in character. He doesn't even. get that much. He goes, wow, really? And he falls over to death. Is Dr. Ahem down? He is down negative one. Oh, wow. All right. We got Doc down, Hutch and Gumgum. How are you guys looking? Well, I take half that because I'm raging. Okay. Is that four or five? I said nine, so yeah, four. I picture, like, Hutch has a bloodied lip and is kind of, was just like that Captain America thing, like still like moving, holding his fists up, like he wants to continue fighting. I can do this all day. I can do this all day. I can do this until.

that time. And that's going to be Stuffy Drin's turn. It's looking at this little cobald on the ground and go, yeah. You're proud of yourself, you big man, you're beating up on little kids? It's going to be

Bart's turn, followed by Kiborg and then Hutch. Oh, Hutch. God, I'm just doing so bad at this. Do you want me to write the... It's there in front of me. I'm just not looking at it. Like, I have it written out in front of me. Hutch. Bart, Khyborg.

Hutch, is there anything of those papers? Hutch looks to his pocket for the paper, but looks in the wrong pocket and pulls out a fistful of hair. And he looks down at Doc and lays down and kind of brushes the hair along Doc's forehead. And says, The scales of air? Yeah, yeah, and says, be healed by the power of hair and rise. Yes.

By the power of hair. and restores two hit points to Doc. Oh, nice. Good, good, good. Doc is up, sort of. I like to think that the hairs, like, fall until I make a mustache for Dr. It makes you sneeze. There's the doctor at him.

I guess then, you know, Hutchwood, while putting the hair back in his pocket, look to see if the canvas square was doing anything. No, you don't feel any energies coming from these canvases anymore. Okay. Okay. In that case, I need to rely on the energy within. And once again, Hutch pulls out his foam sword and swings it at, what is it, Squishy Drun? Stuffy Drun. Stuffy Drin.

Hitting AC, oh, almost a 20. Hitting AC 19. That will hit. Doing four points of slashing damage. Okay. Yeah, you take a swipe at this. And again, it kind of catches a little bit, but then kind of like near the end of the swipe, it kind of just bounces off a little bit. By the power of hair, I channel fury onto you doing an additional nine points of radiant damage.

And the smite is attached to the attack action. It is not a bonus action, correct? Oh, no, wait, it is a bonus action. You're right. I cannot do that. Okay, I was wondering. No, no, you are right? That's right.

Look at me trying to do too much here. It's cool, the DM. I out DM'd Gistavo. I had already been planning what I wanted to do in my head and then I out-deemed Gustavo look at the shame That being said

The hair was inspired Yeah so that was it I did bonus action that Yeah and that is it for Hutch's turn Okay I'm loving Hutch in combat by the way All right Bartholomew It is my turn How's he looking?

and some stuffing coming out of him? Yeah, I mean, he's looking worse than he was at the top of this. He got a little bit of his stuffing back when he attached that other arm, but, you know, not a full glass, we'll call it that. Okay, okay. Well, I think I'm actually instead going to use my turn to cure some wounds on Dr. Hemp. What? He's fine. Is he?

I love that everybody is a medic except for the doctor. It's very good. How far away is he from me? Near death's door, that's all. Yeah, he's like, let's see, one, two, three, four. He's like 25 feet away? Because he ran all the way up to stuffy dream. Oh, perfect.

That's my walking speed. So I'm going to go up and get right behind him and give him a little pat on the shoulder and say, we can't have you getting more injured than you already are, Doc. Aw. Two thumbs up. One day you might be in a wheelchair if you keep this up. That will do seven points of healing.

And that's casting cure wounds, right? Cure wounds, correct. Seven points. He's like basically back to normal. I am. Very good. Some low HP you had there. Very, very good.

Is cure wounds your action? Yes. Okay. And then you did a movement? Any bonus? You know what? Let's cast another bardic inspiration. Ooh, so much inspiration being thrown around.

Who's going to harmonize? I'll give one to. gum gum. Thank you. Gum ya. I like that. Gum gum gum went for a roll. He went for, yeah.

That gives him barbic inspiration. Yes. Okay. Inspiration die 1D6. It added to ability check, attack roll, or saving throw. Lovely. Kiborg. Khyborg's going to, at the top, use his movement to continue to circle around Stuffy Drin.

all the way to the back of it. Yes. Is he back there? Yeah, you do. You managed to run around, and you can... Stuffington's been pushed pretty far to the back of the room, but there's still, like, some buffering room between you. You're not in a melee range of stuff you.

Cool. Can you roll me a perception check? Ooh. I found something. That... Okay, hold on. I got to roll a four, but I have a D6 for... Wait, wait.

I'll give my inspiration, dude. Yeah? Okay, look. What? Open your eyes. Okay. Are they open? They're already open.

Open them more. Okay, what now? Look around again. And why is this? Is this a Cheeto? Oh, it's a dice. Okay. I'll do another perception.

Thank you, Chris. He's doing it. He's gonna shoot him in the butt. That's me. Apparently you could use both, Bartick and Eich. Yeah. That's a 19.

Okay. You get in a very, like, strategic position directly behind Stuffydrin. Okay. And speaking of behind, you see something on Stuffy Drin's behind. It's like a big old black X spot on stuffy drones behind. And it looks to be made of a different material than the rest of Stuffy Drume. X-Marchs the spot.

Got it. Then as Sonic Destroyer has said, Chudius the Gluteus, I'm going to aim with my longbow. I'm actually going to help you out here. Oh. I'm going to say, because you got a, what, was that a 19? Yeah, that's a really good perception check. You know where this material is. You've seen this.

Most kids have, especially, you know, when they're putting their shoes on. It looks like Velcro. Oh. Never heard of it. Okay. Did you know that Velcro, I think, was invented in Canada. Sounds like a Canadian thing to help. Okay, then.

I don't like the motion Chris is making right now, but he is trying to help. What do you do with Velcro? Yeah, yeah, I know, I know. Seeing this, I, if you're okay with it, I'll put my long bow away and I'm going to draw my long sword. Okay. With two hands. Okay. And I'm going to charge at Stuffydrin.

Okay. And I'm going to roll for an attack aiming at that X marks a spot. Okay. Can I set the scene with a motivational speech that only sleek could give? It's a free action. This is going to decide whether or not he gets advantage or disadvantage. Oh, this is good. This is good. This is good.

This is good. I promise. I promise. Kai Bork, he looks at Kaiburg. Kuiperk, look. This has become so much more than just getting mud this birthday gift. If this thing gets out on top, it's going to be mass chaos. This stuffy squadron is going all rampant chaos all over Bouldering. All right? This is on you.

If you see some kind of weak point, like some kind of material you could just rip apart, now's the time to do it. But we're the last line of defense. We're not going to go quietly into the night. We will not vanish without a fight. We're going to live on. We're going to survive. Today we celebrate our stinky Independence Day.

That was it. That was fantastic. And as someone who just recently rewatch Independence Day, I love that. So Bill Pullman gives Kiborg advantage. Oh, great. Yeah. All right, so then I'm going to roll again. Doc goes to Hutch and goes,

Why was sleek looking off camera when he said that? I know. I know, I know. Who are you talking to? I rolled the highest one I had was a 15 but I'm going to use

my inspiration dye also provided from sleek so that is an additional five so I got a Nat dirty 20 you got a what dirty 20 he thinks if he says it fast enough

it counts but I don't hear it no yeah that hits the stuff you join in that spot and roll for damage okay organically filthy Oh

Not bad That's 13 And as I charge it And pierce the X with my sword I say Go fluff yourself Yeah Kiborg runs in

And swings up his sword That I don't think you guys have Have this sword You guys are amazed I feel like maybe once And it brings it down Into a stabbing motion into this X spot of Stuffy Drin.

And as he does, it kind of like, it doesn't quite puncture the X, but it actually pushes the X in. So like this, the Velcro kind of rips and goes in. And as Khyber pulls his sword out, all the stuffing of StuffyDren starts pouring out all over Khyborg. Nice, X going to give it to you. X going to give it to you.

All right. And this is like old stuffing that's been in here, a little bit damp, a little bit packed. It's like, you know, when you got like a down, like pillow that's really old and it's all clumpy, that's what's pouring all over Kiborke. Teacher, how much of it does Khyborg swallow? Khyborg rolls a constitution savior. No, I'm kidding. You guys all that are in front of stuffing here can just see it kind of deflating and falling down to the ground and appearing behind it is just a mountain of stuffing.

Wow. Delicious. Come walks up to work. Kai Borgas, it didn't seem so bad. Oh, oh, okay, that was a thinker. That was good. Was that a thinker? Was it?

You see a single arm puncture through all the fluff and give a thumbs up. Nice. Very, very good. Yeah, stuffy drone has been vanquished and is lying there on the floor and you guys are all out of combat. Woo! Dr. Hym comes back from the dead and goes, this couch is going to. say out oh never mind okay that would have been good okay okay you guys are out of combat the stuffy trans carcass is lying there and all

stuffy and uh you are in this room and we got the box we have the box the box is where gum gum set it down yeah okay gum can go grab the box and hold it yeah what does the box say yeah what does the box say gum gum oh no as you pick up yeah oh it's so good as you pick up the box you can hear the growling um that was in there but the growling is getting louder and uh as you hold up this prize fit for a king or a prince the growling grows loud and gross to loud the ground begins to shape and you look up and can see like behind where kaiborg was with all the stuffing and you can see a single crack forming in the wall And then that crack gets bigger and bigger until suddenly it bursts open

and a rushing sea of sand. Flows freely from it so quickly it's filling up the room that before you realize it, you're up to your shins in rising sea. Oh, no, not again. Holy bramble crack. Is there any opening in the ceiling? That's a good question to be answered in part two of this adventure. Just only available for our patrons.

All tiers will have. access to the continued adventure of the infant nights coming soon on our Patreon. That's dinky dragonpod.com. Dinky dragonpod.com. So if you like this and you want more of things like this, we have so many tavern tales just like this. Chris just did one recently. That was a gum gum brain adventure in gungum's mind palace that we all had a lot of fun with with the infinites.

And I did one with a whole other group called C Squad that was like comic book superheroes theme that was really fun. Micah DM'd one where we were actually in a different RPG mechanic game that was called Maze rats. Maze rats. So yeah. Maze rats.

And we got more stuff like that planned coming. So if you like the D&D content, we have so much more available on the Patreon and so much more coming. So thank you guys for joining me for part one of Infinite Nights. That was fun. That was very, very good. John, that was a fun time. I think everybody did

such a good job. They really promoted the ideal of, yes, sand. I'm so glad we didn't cut our audio before that joke came in.