Tales from the Stinky Dragon - Vengeance in Vainia - C02 - Ep 37 - Make Heads or Taelzadok

Episode Date: March 5, 2024

The party explore the first level of the Vamspyre and meet some interesting residents! Support us at stinkydragonpod.com/first ! Join us on Discord: https://discord.gg/roosterteeth Check out our merch and follow us on Twitter, Instagram, TikTok and more: https://linktr.ee/TalesFromTheStinkyDragon Go to http://meundies.com/dragon to get 20% off and free shipping. Go to http://tryfirstleaf.com/STINKY to get your first box. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is a Rooster Teeth Production. Men of the Stinky Dragon partake in our latest potation, Poetry in Ocean. It's a mixture of constricting coffee, a cone of cold vanilla mint ice cream, garnished with pepperminster leaves. One mouthful of this monstrous mug and your next breath will have no rhyme or freezing. Previously, our adventurers rectified a riotous rally and reconnected with old friends. After some resourceful reconnaissance, they finally found their way into the vast vamp spire. Bring over a brew and buckle up for this bedtime tale. Woo! I was looking at Chris the entire time.

Chris would drink that drink. It sounds like coffee and ice cream. Yeah. I think he had a little bit of drool come out. I think he had that. I think I saw him with it a little earlier. Is that the Damaris? What was it called?

Yeah. The yum. Coffee drink he got one time. Oh, my God. Oh, right. I forgot about that. Yeah. I had like a week's worth of your daily your sugar intake yeah because you get it all out of the way at once yeah

hello everyone i'm gustavo sorolla the dungeon master of our putrid party i'm gonna hit our four players with an arrow this week's role play and warm-up question is if your character could go back in time and change one thing about the past, what would it be? I was going first. Go to a Cher concert, that's for sure. Is that what Chip would do? Blaine, I think you've just offered to start it off. I was going to go last for dramatic effect. Hey there! It's no, no, no, no, no, no, Mateen, I insist.

It's me, Chip Haney. Please let me step into the conversation booth or the confessional booth. Hey, it's Blaine Gibson. I play, oh God, Chip Haney. He's a level... Really got to get to the front booth or the confessional booth. Hey, it's Blaine Gibson. I play, oh God, Chip Haney. He's a level. Really got to get to the front of the line. Chip Haney, tiefling rogue, level seven. Thank you, Delga.

Previous, or now widowed. Oh, right, right, right. Well, that's funny you should say that because if I could go back and change something about the past, oh, I don't know, probably stop my wife from dying, you know? That'd be great. You know, this has been my mission.

Was that a big deal for you? It affected me, you know. You know, random conversation interviewer. It actually hurt my feelings quite a bit. Yeah. Yeah. It hasn't been the same. That makes sense.

That makes sense. I'm John Reisinger. I play Matty Conf confi suze who's an era cochran ghost monk that's a very good question because you know i've lived a very long life and i've i've experienced so many things and and i i don't i would normally live in a in a in a state of regret at all if i could go back i would have, I don't know, packed a few more croissants before we left on this adventure. I just feel like I did not put enough bread in my pouch before we left. It was very unexpected for you. I didn't think that I was going to go

to this festival and then be accused of murder. You know, you never know. So maybe that's just a lesson. You always have to be prepared. You always, always pack bread. You've never been to a good festival then. Keep a croissant in your pocket. Yeah. For a festival.

Yeah. Croissant in the pocket for a festival. Everyone listening, take note. I've actually put croissants in my pockets before. Not a good idea. They get too, they're too greasy and buttery. They're also, they're supposed to be fluffy and like. I know.

And flaky. They're so flaky. You can try and put them in a, wrap them in like a paper towel. No, doesn'd work. Anyway, who are you? He's croissant. DeMero.

And I play Barney, Barney and, uh, a level seven. But, uh, if I could, well,

this is an easy one. Okay. I would have done something when my family was taken from me. Was that a big deal for you too? Just a bit. Gus, Gus, tell us how that makes you feel. He's over there just snickering. I have a second answer.

Okay. I have a second answer. Okay. I recently acquired a spell that allows you to bring someone who has died in the last minute back to life. I wish I had prepared it the other day. You shouldn't bring it up. I wish I had known. Did you have it when Carol died?

I didn't have it prepared. Oh, prepared. And that's my second. Yeah. Yeah. Well, you know, I think for plot reasons, that probably would have worked out. But also, wasn't that the one that came with like a cost? There was like a cost.

Or am I thinking of that necklace that we came across? That's the necklace. That's the necklace. Oh. Well, Barney, you really dropped the ball there, pal. I didn't. I know. Yeah. I didn't know.

Elga, I need to go have a talk with Barney. Why don't you get in there? Get in the booth. Barney, you've been in there for 34 minutes. Can I go in now? In the show, you just hear like footsteps walking away and just like muffled arguing in the back. Or just the sound of like flesh hitting flesh. Barney really needs some more fiber.

Get out of there a little more quickly. Barney, you've been in the bathroom for an hour and 20 minutes. I'm Barbara Donkelman. Hello, everyone, and Blurble Gerble, my friends. I play Elga Von Brass, the leader of the party, of course. Thank you, John. Thanks for

confirming. The half-elf vampire barbarian level seven. And you know, Elga doesn't regret the whole lot in life. But I'd say one of her biggest regrets is that one time Elga was partaking in a light breakfast of blood. And she accidentally spilled a little bit onto her favorite white frilly shirt. And unfortunately, it didn't come out bloodstains pretty bad. I'm surprised that when we went around the shops in Vania, there wasn't just one shop devoted to stain removal potions.

I think you can use like prestidigitation to help get some of that stuff out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But unfortunately, now all guys wear a different off-white frilly shirt. I think what you can do is if you spill blood on a white shirt like that, you can just cover it with red wine and you won't notice the blood at all anymore. They don't dry the same way, Gustavo. Oh, they don't. I wouldn't know.

Give it a shot at home. Please don't. Actually, I was wrong. I needed a diamond in order to cast that spell and I don't have a diamond, so I couldn't have done it even if I had it prepared. Oh, I have so many diamonds. I bring all my diamonds with me everywhere I go. I have lots of diamonds. You could have just asked. Really? You don't have a diamond so I couldn't have done it even if I had it prepared. Oh, I have so many diamonds. I bring all my diamonds with me everywhere I go. I have lots of diamonds. Really? You don't have diamonds?

No. You know who might have had the diamonds? Carol's ring on her finger, her wedding ring from her marriage. Yeah. The body disappeared though. Her ring too? I don't know. Was this like a Star Wars situation?

Everything disappears except the ring. You had said that you went through and gathered her belongings. So if there was a ring that you had given or that you all shared, that you would have had a chance to recover that. Maybe give that to me. Yes, please. Give it to the old man. No, no.

It was like one of those things. You have to prepare a spell. Material components. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then do it to the old man. No, no. It was like one of those things. You have to prepare a spell. Material components. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then do it during a short rest. So you have to, you don't know what spell you're going to use at any given time.

And you only get so many. So you have to like, oh, I think, I didn't think during the, between the tales, there would be a main character death. We can keep going. As you move through the open archway,

you pass by two red robed bat folkfolk you recall as the Svratu. They pay you no mind as they chant in unison and conjure clearly powerful magics. Beyond them, ornate sconces of torchlight flicker across glossy black stone walls leading further into the belly of the tower. Aromas of rotten carrion, sour sweat, and the choking of smoke waft through the passage. The reverberating din of shifting feet, fluttering of wings, and the ringing of small chimes grows in your ears. Until finally you reach a crimson door with one word carved into the wooden grain. Tales of Dark. Elga, a small voice suddenly whispers in your mind.

Welcome home, sister. Welcome home, sister. So the door before you says Tales of Dock. What do you all want to do? Could I look at the door and see if I know what that means? Make me a wisdom check with advantage. Since it is my home. Ooh, 19.

You know that it means tail of the tower. T-A-I-L or? Yeah, T-A-I-L. Oh. So this is the back entrance to the tower. Maybe. Probably, or if it's the bottom. Yeah, the butt.

Question. You know that, Elga, you have never spent much time in the Tales of Dock. Oh. So this isn't home? This isn't home. I mean, I probably spent more time up.

Correct. The Vam Spire, it's a- Tall and skinny, right? Right. It's a tower or a spire. So there are, presumably there would be multiple levels. So where we are,

this is the only door. This is the only door that we can see. Correct. We're like in a hallway or an entryway. Yeah, the entryway. You just cross the bridge, pass the Spraw, too, pass the Gargoyles.

We're all just standing there. Is this like a situation, Ilga, where like the higher you live on the tower, like the higher on the, like, you know, the hierarchy you are, like, is this like a physical manifestation of like, you know, I don't know, society here in Sylvania?

I definitely know the answer to this question. Well, you don't, you've never spent much time here. I've never spent much time here. I've never spent much time here. In the tail. Correct. That should be a very big hint as to the structure. Well, let's go in. I'm tired.

I want to take a rest. Yeah, you want to open it up, Matif? I knock on the door. You die. You give a quick rap on the door, and there's no response. Go ahead. What are the lyrics of your rap? Oh, I get it.

Could we just open the door? I'll open the door. Go ahead. What are the lyrics of your rap? Oh, I get it. Could we just open the door? I'll open the door. Do it. Okay. Matip, just in case, I'll open the door. I acquiesce. It's live. It's live.

It's live. Elga, you push forward and open the door. Everyone roll me a perception check. Everyone roll initiative. I was waiting for that. Some sort of saving throw. 22. 5.

14. Jinx. Some sort of saving throw. 22. Five. 14. Jinx, we'll start with Chip. The door opens and it's just the clamor and chaos of fervent foot traffic and chaotic crowds so overwhelming to you. It's hard to absorb what it is that you see before you. Barney and Elga, it seems to be a dingy, congested network of passages

thronged with hurried folk of every shape and size going this way and that. Mateed, you have maybe a slightly better vantage here. You're able to see that just up ahead, you know, there's some stairs going up, and beyond that, there's a T-intersection. And you notice red drops on the ground near the eastern wall and blue drops on the floor near the western wall.

Oh, like the colors of blood when it's oxygenated or not. Mm-hmm. You know more about blood than I do. Oh, I've dealt with a lot of blood. I just don't consume it, but I really do produce a lot of it in different ways. Gotcha. Interesting. A little bit of an overshare there. Is there anybody

to, like, greet us or anything like that? Or any signage? Currently, no. Nobody seems to even really be giving you any mind. Everyone's bustling about on their way. I'll tell you what, everyone roll make me a wisdom check. Wisdom. Ah, ah, ah.

That's a nine. Seven. Fifteen. Five. Five, five, five. So Barney, with all the chaos going on around here, I think in general here in Vania So Barney, with all the chaos going on around here, I think in general here in Vania, Barney's been on edge a little bit. What?

You don't say. I did not notice that at all. No way. Seems cool as a cucumber. I think Barney, you have an inkling that with all the chaos you see before you, it might make sense to make note of the path you're taking. You think that you might be in for a maze of corridors ahead of you.

Oh. And Mateed, what again, you saw the witch blood on which side and witch blood on the other side? It was red blood on the east side, blue droplets on the left side. On the western. Western, yeah. Wait a second. I've noticed something that we do as I've re-listened to it is that we add words into what he says. Yeah.

And a lot of times it sends us down the wrong direction. We are very bad at parroting. I think I saw that entire table of Micah, Gus, Ben, David, all just go like, yup. It's why I try to put a lot of intent in trying to use your words that you say, because I know I'm prone to that. Yeah. Write it down.

So in that vein, Barney, me telling you all that information about the chaos is the way for the DM to tell the party, make a map because I don't want to have to constantly re-explain where it is that you're going and where it is that you've been. You guys saw how good my last map was. We are,

we are, we are, we've entered the building from what direction? Just give me the- You are facing south. You've entered from, the north is to your back, the south is in front of you. Okay. And does this seem like it's primarily going upwards or are there hallways, like there's a stairway with a T spot at the end?

Correct. You're going down here, you know, you're in a long corridor currently. That's probably about 30, 35 feet long. Is it good that I have this long, tall paper with me today? Turn it sideways. There you go. And you're at the north and the hallway

heads south from you. Could I try to stop any of these passerbys to ask for directions? Sure. You hear the sound of a bell and turn around and see someone shuffling around. It seems like the bell sound is coming from them. What do you say to them?

Where's the bell coming from? I don't know. It's somewhere on their body. Maybe it's tied to them? Is that all? You said there was like ringing. Like, is it like... There, the bell tower. Well, no, he said like faint sounds of ringing constantly happening.

Is it ringing? And you said there was ringing at the bottom of the well as well. But I think you said it was more like a tonal... That was a different... Yeah. That one, I think you said was like screeching right oh no i thought that one was like a e like a tinnitus i think yeah tinnitus uh okay yeah i grabbed this person oh bonjour my name is matit i'm here uh visiting uh this uh wonderful i was trying to figure out how to describe this place wonderful and i'm trying to get to You know to the top

Is there like a system I see you got some coloring systems You're wearing a bell Is there like a normalcy here that I can understand Oh hello there the name's Vinvon the world's greatest thief Pleased to meet you what's your name again Don't shake their hands My name is you steal something from me

And you know who knows what happens Find out. Oh, no. Do you have anything worth stealing? Nope. I am on guard, so if you try anything, I'm doing a check. Don't forget at this point, you all also have your cloaks on. You're trying to blend in.

Yeah, I know. I'm from another place where vampires are from. Where is that? I'm only familiar place where vampires are from. And... Oh, where is that? I'm only familiar with the vampire here. That is from... Oh, it's called... Scansylvania. Yes. Scansylvania?

Sounds wonderful. Yes. Must be related to Vania. Anyway, yeah, a count like yourself should be right at home on the upper levels. Yes. So is there a way to... I see you got these stairways ahead of us. Which way should we go, you think, to get up to the top?

The ringing becomes louder and more incessant. What? And Vin Von says, yeah, of course, just head up the stairwell. Go up. Anyway, I got to go. Really a big hurry. Someone's calling me. Bye.

And Vin Von runs off. I'm thinking that what we are experiencing is that these are familiars and that they have some sort of communication system involved with that. You know, a lot of aristocrats would use bells to make the servants come up and that kind of thing. Elga, I want you to make me a history check. Okay.

I was going to ask if I recognized anybody. Yeah. You might be doing that right now. Oh, with advantage. I'm sorry. I didn't say with advantage. Thank goodness. 15. Yeah. Yeah. yeah i mean you know that these are battlers that are running around um even though you've never been on this level of the vamp spire

you do know that you had a lot of interactions with a battler that specifically served your family do i see them down here you do do not currently. The battler you remember, his name is Quiffly Ari. Did I have a nickname for him? Quiffly. Quiffly. Quiffly. Quiffly Down Under. Quiffly Ari?

Yeah. He was a very young male dwarf battler with like an uneven color ginger hair. You remember Quiffly. What was that thing y'all got up to that one time? That thing that y'all had that was lots of fun? Yeah, yeah. We were playing hide and seek, and we were just on the ceiling giggling at him,

but he had no idea we were up there, which is really wild that he wouldn't just look up there because he knows that we're vampires. Yeah, that's a classic Quiffly. I like to think that he was maybe pandering a little bit to us. That's what I was going to ask. You think that he was playing along? Yeah.

Can I cast Visage of the Astral Self? It lasts for 10 minutes and it gives me advantage on insight intimidation check. I feel like that might be handy. Sure. It also gives me the sight in magical or non-magical darkness.

Correct. I had a theory that I want to throw by you guys. I have a theory as well. I was imagining that Zvia is like the human anatomy, like a body.

Maybe this is like the heart. Because you said like the red and the blue in like the blood flow. Maybe this is like, there's like aortas and valves. The vineyards had like the barrels of, what did you call them again? Like veins pumping?

Yeah. Yeah. I don't know. Maybe there's something to that. You know what, Blaine? You get an inspiration dice for that. Thank you. Marking it.

You think maybe, Elga, since you've never been on the Tales of Doc before, that maybe if you could find Quiffly down here, that he can point you all in the right direction and help you out, since he will remember you. Maybe if we all scream for Quiffly. You scream, I scream. What are you screaming for? What are you screaming for?

I'm leaving the recording. Well, I like your theory, Blaneson, and the direction of heading to the heart is blue. So, let's go east. I was just thinking of maybe doing our secret catchphrase. Whenever me and Quiffly would get lost from each other, we would just, one of us would do the sound, and then the other one would echo the sound.

What's the sound sound like? It's like something you scream? E-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e I was expecting Marco Yeah, yeah And then Elga listens Okay, I don't hear anything No, no, no sound No sound No sound, no sound Okay, well, you know what?

We should try that We should be trying that every once in a while That's a good ringtone So the Just because of what you said there A little while Just a second ago, John You know, you all are in like this main entrance

To the first level of the Tales of the Dock and on the western wall from here is a framed painting of a vacant chair and on the eastern wall is a floor-to-ceiling gold-framed cracked mirror and then this passage continues to the south, to the ascending stairs to that T-intersection. Hey, Elga, whenever you look in the mirror, are you

visible? Let's find out. Which side was the empty chair picture? On the west side. On the west. So then the floor-to-ceiling gold frame cracked mirrors on the eastern wall. So you step in front of the mirror, Elga? Yeah. Yeah, you see yourself in it.

Hmm, okay. There's me looking fine as can be. I was going to say, we don't want to out ourselves by walking in front of any mirrors, because if they can see us, then, you know, we're not vampires and they might. So there's a mirror and there was the other one? You said a painting with a chair. Empty chair. Empty chair.

Correct. If you're going to be a stickler about words like John said earlier, I said vacant chair. Vacant chair. So, like, someone should be sitting there, but they are not. So, like, is the mirror opposite the chair? So, like, theoretically, if you stood in front of the mirror, you could be looking at the chair also behind you, you know, like the reflection of the chair. So like theoretically, if you stood in front of the mirror, you could be looking at the chair also behind you, you know, like the reflection of the chair.

So the, I mean, they're kind of close to each other. The difference is that the chair is just like a framed painting, whereas the mirror is wall to ceiling or floor to ceiling is what I said. What if I looked at the reflection of the chair painting in the mirror?

Make a perception check. So you're trying to look into the mirror and examine the chair painting, right?. Make a perception check. So you're trying to look into the mirror and examine the chair painting, right? Get ready for this five. Yeah. That is a, oh, 15. Plus 10. Plus 10?

Because I've been rolling fives all morning. Oh. Yeah, yeah. It is a 15. You know, you're examining the painting of the chair. Yeah. And it looks like a normal painting, nothing out of the ordinary. However, as you're staring

at the painting of the chair, you know, you're looking at the wall around it, you see that there are, in the reflection, you see that there are grooves along the floor of that western wall. Oh, groovy! Below the chair, the painting of the chair. Oh, as in like, yeah, I urge you, you don't have to keep hitting my arm. No, no, no, groovy!

I don't have to acknowledge every single thing you say. Groovy! It would be a lot if I had no. Groovy. You know, I don't have to acknowledge every single thing you say. Groovy. It would be a lot if I had to. Endless. That seems like that may be scrapings of where, like, a secret wall might be coming out. Oh, la la. Hmm. I don't, you don't need to make fun of the way I speak. No, I'm code switching.

I feel like we're actually making grounds towards a friendship here, and I'd like to do that as a mutual endeavor. Of course. I'm just trying to, like, make you feel at home by saying your phrases and words. We're both at one HP, and we both could just end each other at any second right now. And then, Matias, what did you see? Actually, the— Oh, I'm trying to check. What did you see?

There's grooves. So that's the secret entrance. Secret entrance. If we move that, there's like grooves so that you can move the painting. Could we do a little like group investigation of that area to like see if we find a switch or maybe like the painting needs to be shifted or open?

Stoker! Could I look at the painting? What? Yeah, you look at it up close or do you look at it through the reflection? I want to look at it up close, or do you look at it through the reflection? I want to look it up close. Make an investigation check. I'm going to do it, too.

With advantage? Yes, you can. Should I partake? Yeah, do it. That is a 12. Seven. Ten. While they do that, can I look through the mirror at them looking at it?

Yeah, you're watching them through the mirror? Okay, okay, sure. We'll deal with you in a second, Barney. We'll deal with you in a second. Just you wait. So, yeah, Elga, you're able to, you know, you We'll deal with you in a second, Barney. We'll deal with you in a second. Just you wait. So yeah, Elga, you're able to, you know, you follow the grooves with your fingers and you're able to find like a catch,

like a hidden catch that potentially could open up like a spring door. Okay, but I don't see anyone on the chair, do I? No. Okay. Barney, make me an investigation check as well. I assume investigation, like you're watching them, you said, right?

Yeah, not perception. Yeah, we'll do investigation. I love a good haunted house. 16. Yeah, nothing seems out of the ordinary. You know, you also spot those grooves and the mechanism that Elga finds. Groovy. At the same time. Mateed, groovy!

Mateed passes through the wall. Oh, okay. You can do that, right? No, I'm not doing that. I'm not going to burn right now. You found a switch, a latch. I found, yeah, essentially like a way to open it up, right? Do it. Yeah.

Okay. Like, everyone come over here. I think we should probably open this up. Should we like stand against it if it like does like a rotate thing? No. Okay. Fair enough. Okay, we'll just try to crack it open.

Yeah. You activate it and open it up and the wall slides to the side, revealing a cramped hidey hole. Oh. What's inside? It's filled with rancid meat, some vials of water, painter supplies, a red towel, a key, and a cot. I'll just probably take that key. This is like someone's quarters. Yeah.

This is like someone's quarters, I say This is like someone's quarters, I say. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I say. So, wait. Rancid meat. Red towel. A key. A cot.

Red towel. Red towel. Vials of water. Vials of water. What was the last thing? I don't know, John. You were doing so well. I know.

You got all of them. You were doing so well. I was like, I was giving it. It was like, paper. Paper? Oh It was, it was, it was like. Paper? Oh, yeah, painting stuff. There you go. Painter supplies.

So maybe they did the chair. Maybe the person who lived in here painted this painting. Is this where Quiffly stayed? I hope not. That would be kind of unfortunate. Can we tell? Could we look up? Or at the cot? Gus is done with us officially.

He's so done with us. You look at the cot and there's someone snoring, sleeping on it beneath a blanket. Oh. Who is it? Barney, go wake him up in your special way. Does Elga recognize this? Good morning.

I'll never not find that funny Terrifying Does Elga recognize the person sleeping? No, this is some bald human you've never seen before He appears to have an unkempt multicolored beard And paint stains on his tunic John's raising his hand Can I get Gigi to lick him?

Oh, sure Brilliant Well played, Mati You deploy the Gigi The Gigi to lick him? Oh, sure. Brilliant. Well played, Mati. That's a great one. You deploy the Gigi. The Gigi. The Gigi. Where do you want Gigi to lick him, or how do you want to approach this?

I don't want to, like, fill it in for you. Yeah, just, like, get Gigi in my hands and just kind of point him at the bald head. Okay. Yeah, Gigi, you know, lets out a little lick on the bald head. The human, you know, kind of shuffles around, and you see a vision of his dream start appearing before him, or above him, I should say. Vas is das.

You see visions. It's almost like first-person point of view, like you're seeing through someone's eyes going down a maze. It seems like they're searching for someone, and they have painting supplies in their hands. This is a rerun. Change the channel. Okay, so they have painting supplies in their hands. This is a rerun. Change the channel. Okay, so they got painting supplies

in their hands. They're trying to look for somebody in a maze. And it seems like maybe they're lost. It seems like he's not making progress. Oh, okay. Been there. Bonjour! Good morning. Good morning. Who are you? Oh, my name is Matit.

Count Matit. Thank you very much. Sometimes I forget those little eccentricities that we should use. Right. Can you close the door? Okay. Elga closes the door. Thank you.

What are you so afraid of? I'm afraid of getting caught, and you all seem to have caught me. Oh. We didn't know, huh? Yes, we did. Oh, okay. You're very naughty. You caught me. Oh, what? You mean the heart? Yes, we did. Oh, okay. You're very naughty. You caught me in my cot.

Snapping off when on duty. What's your name? I'm Graff, my liege. Graff. Graff, what you doing in this little hole? I'm painting. See? He points to the painting supplies and the paint stains on his tunic. Are you not supposed to be in here?

Or in this, or in the vamp spire? You see, I want nothing more in life than to paint a portrait of Count Dracula, but I can't find him. I keep getting lost. Are you all vampires? Could I maybe paint you? Oui. All of us are vampires, that's right.

Yes. We're from Scamsylvania. Scamsylvania? That's the one. Sounds wonderful. It's beautiful during the fall. Yeah, and they're visiting me. I'm Elga.

I live here in the Vamp Spire. Oh, wonderful. Do you know how I can find Count Dracula? Uh, yes. I do. But it's hard to describe. So we are actually on our way to go find him as well. So if you can help us, then we can help you.

I keep getting lost. That's why I was hoping you could help me. Yeah. Well, you know, this place is pretty complicated. I get turned around all the time. Have you ever tried using your painting supplies to like mark places you've gone so that you can kind of retrace your steps? Well, I'm afraid of leaving evidence of my presence

here. Why do you not want his presence to be known? I'm not supposed to be here. You're not supposed to be here, but you're trying to find Dracula himself even though you're not supposed to be here. Don't you think you'll get in trouble? I will gift him with such a wonderful painting that he'll forgive me because I paid tribute to

the almighty Count Dracula. Can I look at his paint? Yeah, sure. What color paints do you have? He's got like a full palette of all different kinds of paints. Uh, Graff? That's your name, right? Graff. Graff. Did you perhaps leave maybe a little trail of maybe some red paint or some blue paint previously on

the floor? I hope not. I've been trying very carefully to not leave any evidence of my presence. Gustavo, when you described the droplets, what's the pattern of it? Or the consistency? Does it look intentional

or accidental? Because that's very different. Yeah, it would seem accidental. And how far apart were the droplets? Were they like close to each other? Yeah, pretty close. Pretty close in proximity. Okay, okay. So they're either walking slowly or bleeding fast.

So Graf, did you paint the empty chair? And that's supposed to be where the painting of Dracula sits? Yes. Do you like my work? Oh, it's magnificent. The gold, it's the detail, the detail, the brush strokes. Good, good work. The impasto, say that.

Anyway. Impostal. Have you made any progress on finding Dracula? Like, is there any directions that were completely dead ends? I just keep getting lost. It seems like no matter where I go, I keep ending up back here. All I really know is that the commissary is to the southeast. Commissary southeast.

It seems like I end up there all the time. Is that why you keep ending up with all this rotten meat? Yeah. Rancid. I probably need to go get some more. I feel like I might have put my foot in my mouth with another dumb fact. I know that in the diagrams it's red and blue blood, but it doesn't actually look blue, does it? Yeah, it doesn't. Now I'm remembering like I learned later

that's just the diagram I'm saying that so the comments don't make you feel stupid Even though they probably already commented on it It's okay Go back and delete your comments Why don't you all pose for me and I can make a painting of you I can just do a quick sketch for now

and I'll remember you and make a more worthy painting. Can you do it fast? Well, I'll just do the quick sketch for now and then I'll paint it later. Okay, team, ready to pose. Yeah, I pose. Is there any special pose any of y'all want to do? Elga wants to jump into the air

and like spread her arms aside. It's a sketch. I know. I can't sketch that fast. She wants that to be how she sketched. So she keeps jumping and posing. Okay. So that he could, yeah.

Barney wants to hide his face. Like, I guess. With his cloak? Scowl. What do you call those things? A cowl? Yeah, a cowl over his face. Like a classic vampire pose where you're like lifting the cape and your elbow is pointing

out in front of your face. Yeah. He also just doesn't want to be like, he wants to be stay hidden everyone make a perception check 17 7 14 6. mati do you hear footsteps walking uh down the corridor outside in the hall oh shh it's them oh that's ferratu oh okay they're gone This Farad too. Oh. Okay, they're gone.

Go, go! That's why I wanted you to close the door. Oh, yeah, yeah. It's good we did that. I'm going to pull Mati to the side. Should we share the password? That way this guy, he's in already. He's in already.

I know, but like in case he gets caught, then he can say the password. And then he makes him think that, you know, he's meant to be here. I mean, you do you. What happens if the Farads do catch you? They'll toss me out and destroy my work. Yeah, they do not seem like they like people who are not supposed to be in you. Can I roll for a vibe check?

I like that's what we call insight checks. Is he here to say what he does or do I sense any deception? Yeah, go ahead and make that insight check. Can I as well? Yeah, of course. And I get advantage. That's a ahead and make that insight check. I'm going to do it as well. Can I as well? Yeah, of course. And I got advantage. That's a whopping four. 25. 20. All of you think

that Graf is being sincere. I like this little guy. He's very cute. He's a little painter. I love artists. Let's pose. Graf, you know, you seem like an easy dude, so I'm going to let you in on a little secret. If you need to get in or talk to a Sfratu and they ask you for the password, it's just, it's Stoker. You say Stoker. That is so helpful.

And you know what? That is way easier than the way I got in. How did you get in? Across the hallway behind the mirror, there's another secret room, and that leads to a pool of blood. If you swim through it, you can go down and you'll emerge in the moat.

Ah. That sounds dirty. So that explains the red towel. Yeah. It was gross. Very unpleasant. Yeah, it sounds so unpleasant. Where did you say that was?

Across the hallway. Just kidding. Behind the mirror. Mateed poses. Okay. He very quickly does a sketch. He turns his back. Mateed has their arm outstretched, or their wing.

Their wing. Outstretched up in the air. What about Chip? Normally he'd have big beaming small hands on hips, but because of recent events, he's going to do a more moody kind of Spider-Man crouch, and he's going to wield his blade. I think that's in character. I also

would think that Chip would do the other MCU pose, which is when they make all the females do, which is facing away and showing their rear but their their their head facing around so like the first emphasizing buttocks like the original avengers poster it's it's scott johansson's pose in every paint every i i would just think that chip would lean into like oh well i'm supposed to be a vampire so i'm gonna do like a vampire pose he's doing he's doing his little his little assassin thing i like it it. Yeah, yeah. Some combination of vampire, assassin.

Assassin. Yeah. Cool. I'm a day walker. That's very cool. Chip pulls out these sunglasses we didn't know he had the entire time. Yeah, Graff turns his back to you and begins feverishly working on his sketch. Okay, so I think we should probably leave you to it.

We'll let you know if we find Dracula, okay? Okay, great. Yes, please, please. Real quick, Graff, what's that key to? The key? Oh, I don't know. I lifted it off of a Spiratu. Oh.

You want it? Yeah. Yeah, we'll take it. Let's borrow it. All right. What's the key made out of, by the way? It's just a very mundane looking iron key. Silver.

It's not allowed. All right. So we need to add up to the stairs and pick a direction. Which way should we go? So are you all heading up the stairs down to the T intersection? Do we want to check behind the mirror? No. We know that's where the blood moat.

I think it's an exit. Was there any other places behind that mirror besides just out to the moat? No, just the blood pool that goes down into the moat. You've been very helpful, Graff. I appreciate it so much. Thank you. I appreciate patrons of the art.

Yeah, I'd hate if you, you know, turned around and stabbed us in the back. Oh, he turned his back to you first. Yeah. All right, thanks, Scrap. Thank you. Be back. Let me know if you find Dracula.

Okay. So we leave. And then where did you say the staircase was? Immediately to the south. There's some stairs that begin going up, and then the corridor continues for probably 30 feet to the south. Commissary to the east. Southeast, yeah. And so let's go west.

Forza Echabit. So you go down to the T intersection, which branches out to the west and to the east. To the west, there are some stairs that go up a little bit, and then it's just an open passage to the east. So y'all are going west? Yeah. This is the red.

It's blue. No. I'd imagine that the red came from the mirror and the blue came from the commissary or some version of that. Well, the red is probably the blood drops from the moat. Correct. And then the blue is, yeah, probably paint. So just FYI, the red and the blue was up closer to

where you all entered on the northern side, like under the painting and under the mirror. Oh, they weren't at the T. Correct. Okay. Yeah. Okay. Then it's blue is probably the paint.

So we're just, we're looking at a, at a west or east direction. East had a stairway that went up and west. West has a stairway that goes up. East is just an open path. So let's go west. Seems like Graff only just went to the corner of the stairway over and over and didn't really find anything else. Yeah, let's go west on that staircase.

Yeah, so you all begin heading west. The stairs go up maybe 10 feet and then the top of the stairs rounds a corner southward. It looks into a room where you hear the clanging of metal and the buzzing of wood. Clanging of metal and buzzing of wood. Are we at a door? Yeah, so after the passage turns south, the passage continues for another 30 feet,

and there is no door. It just goes straight into an open room. What's in it? You all walk up to it, and it's a large chamber filled with the clanging and banging of construction, repairs being performed on furniture, jewelry, clothing. There's two rows of four workbenches,

each tailored seemingly to different trades and crafts. In the northeast corner, you spy one of the tables is paint-stained and turned on its side. Along the western wall is an upright, unfinished coffin. And to the south is a door, and then to the east is an open passage. Where's the coffin? It's along the western wall. And, and then to the east is an open passage. Where's the coffin? It's along the western wall.

And the painting was on the north. And you said that they're repairing, or is this just like the manufacturing wing? Is it ringing? I just don't know if these are battlers. Yeah, it seems like it's battlers toiling away on stuff. And it seems like they are repairing things as opposed to creating things, to answer your question, Chip.

Can I walk up to a battler, the one that's working on the desk? Yeah. Is there a specific craft you want to investigate? I guess the carpenter who's doing the table. Yeah. Hey, Jesus. He looks around. Me?

No, I'm... Bad joke. Just a friend of his. Yeah. I see you're working on this here, this table. What happened to it? Why are you repairing it? What happened? It's a gnome who's working on it,

and he looks up at you, and he says... Someone fell on the table and cracked the leg, so I'm just trying to repair it. Oh. Oh, okay. Do you know who that someone was? Is this your trade as a carpenter? Not really typically. I'm typically out there on the field, you know, breaking monster legs.

I don't often repair them unless I'm summoned to. But yeah, no, I just got summoned to fix this table. I've been known to do some carpentry on the side. Probably heard of me. Beowarg. Kind of a big deal. As I said, slain many creatures. Kind of a hero around these parts.

Does Helga recognize anyone in here? Make a perception check. Oh, yeah. Say Beowarg. Beowarg. I only rolled a nine. No, you know that these are all, it seems like they're all battlers, but none of them stand out to you. Maybe try.

A few of them stop and look at you. They turn and look at you and then they look at each other and then get back to work. Mind your own business. Barb fully bears all her teeth when she's making that sound. It's a very teethy sound. It's great. Bail work, I'm a little turned around here. So is this just like the repair, you know, manufacturing wing of the vampire, Bamspire?

Maintenance. Yeah, what is this? This is a workshop. This is where we fix things in the vampire. Who broke the table? Whose table is it? I don't know. I just get summoned to fix things every once in a while. You know when I'm available,

it's when I'm not off on a mission, doing important things, saving the kingdom, all that. You know. Who summoned you? It's the Counts. So do you go up and get the stuff from them or do they bring it down to you to fix? Of course we go up and get it. Yeah, okay. So you know how to get up there to Dracula's place and all those places up there?

Yeah, good luck. The stairway. The stairway? Right where? To the east. Yeah, he just points vaguely to the east. Okay, thank you. That's helpful. Can I look at the painting?

Did I say there was a painting? Wasn't it like turned on its side or something? There's a paint stain table on its side. Paint stain. Got it. Thank you. Can I see if, and this is a bit of a stretch, is the paint from what's his face? Graph. This is graph paint. Give yourself his face? Graf.

This is Graf's paint. Give yourself an inspiration die if you don't have one. All the paint supplies are missing. The table's just stained with paint and it's turned over on its side. Graf's a little borrower. Interesting. Graf might not be from City Ways. He's trying to make his way in this vampire world. He wants to paint Dracula to prove his worth.

Could Barney look at the coffin and see how big it is? And also if it has a name or anything or like embroidered. Do you want to see if it fits you? No. It's getting about that time. We got to make the preparations. He already has a coffin and he's already in it. Do you remember?

No. Yeah, I will get to that with you in just a second, Barney. Let me do one thing I forgot to do here real fast. Bail War pulls you in a little close, Chip. Hey, we're real busy here. You think you could lend a hand? Oh, yeah, absolutely. What can I do for you?

We have a lot we need to get done. We could use some help cleaning up some clothing, delivering some letters to the aviary, or you could do something about this darn rat infestation. They're overrunning us. It's ridiculous. That'd be great. I'll deliver letters. That sounds fun. I've always

wanted to be a mailman. He shoves three letters into your hands. Take these over to the aviary. Make sure they're delivered. You got it. Where's the aviary? Again, he points vaguely in the easterly direction. Who are the letters addressed to and from? They have no writing on them.

They're just in sealed envelopes with like a wax seal, and there's nothing, no writing on them. In the sigil, there's no like thing on the wax seal? They all have the Vania sigil. Should we not ask about the rat infestation? I feel like that's important. Want to resolve you? I thought you do.

Oh, I have, yeah. Oh, yeah, the coffin. Yeah, I'm going to hit the coffin here real fast. So you were trying to see like if it had a name on it or something. Do you want to make like a perception or investigation check? Yeah. A perception it is. 14.

You give me an option, I'm going for the one with a higher modifier. You notice that there's no name on it. It doesn't seem to be personalized. It's, you know, it's roughly, it's a little bigger than you, Barney, but you notice that there are many nails sticking out of it. It's really weird that it has that many nails. Maybe it's poor quality.

Maybe it's broken. Who knows? Maybe it's a kink. Maybe it's an Iron Maiden. Nails sticking out of it. Maybe it's Maybelline. Like inward or like out of it? Like not fully driven in and some that have been driven in all the way and are coming up the other side. This is just poor quality. Shoddy craft.

Who's this? Is anyone around who's working on it? Isn't Barney a carpenter? Wasn't he? He is a carpenter. Yeah. Remember the heart thing? Yeah.

You could ask Bailorg. Bailorg. Because Bailorg was doing carpentry. Yeah. What's the deal with this coffin? Why is it so poorly made? Oh, that's for no one in particular. That's just an old relic.

Old relic from who? It's been there for as long as I can remember. And it recently broke? It's just been there. I don't know. It's just been there. You guys haven't fixed it. You aren't doing a good job.

No one works on it. There's no work order for it. Does it look like it's been used, for lack of a better word? Dusty? Does it look like someone laid in it for a while? Like a dead body or a body or any... It's very dusty.

Can I go in it? Do it. Will you sit in it or stand in it? Is it propped up or is it laying down? Careful of the nails. You're very injured right now. Oh. Don't do it. I very carefully step inside of it. I'm trying to see

Gus's face. And I cross my arms. Make a dexterity check with advantage because you specified you're being very careful. Very excited. That's a... A... A 20. Alright, yeah. You very carefully get into it because the nails are rusty and sticking out everywhere. You managed to avoid the one point of damage I was going to give you.

My teeth go stuff and he goes, boo! And it seems like it's a pretty solid fit for you. Okay. Make an investigation check. Oh. I'm trying to see if this is like some sort of weird portal or something. I spy 18. The weird thing is it won't move.

Like when you get in and out of it, it's like it's affixed. Right. It's like affixed to the wall maybe. It's just not rotating at all. Can I like see if there's like a doorway hidden behind it? Or should we close it? Grooves perhaps? Oh, yeah.

Close it. Close it. Yeah, as you all are looking at it, three Sfratu walk in to the workshop from the northern entrance, where the entrance you all came in from. Mm-hmm. And they look around the room.

Everyone make a, either like, I guess, like a stealth check or a deception check. I'll leave it up to you all. I will do stealth. That's not one, but I have advantage. I will do deception. Nat 2027, don't see me, don't perceive me. I'm not even here. 15.

19. 16, but I might have something. I have something if I fail it. I have a thing. That was with your advantage? Yes. They like survey the room, look around. They look at you for a second, Elika, and then they turn and exit the room to the eastern corridor.

How did you, like, grow up in this place with those dudes creeping around? I didn't really see them very much. I haven't really been in this area of the Vellum Spire. They're spookies. Anyway, so now they've left the room. What are we all doing with this? Closing the coffin. Closing the door. Yeah, close me in.

Ha ha ha ha ha. Look at me. I'm in the coffin. Time to go nannies. Nannies. It's like we're a bunch of tourists taking pictures in here. You all close it and nothing seems to happen. It gets dark for you, Chip. We open the door and go, all right, Chip, smile.

Go. So nothing happened. Yeah, when they open it. Yeah, okay. Can we open it? Yeah, you open it up and there Can we open it Yeah you open it up And there's Chip And I hiss at him

Does Chip feel any different Or look any different Make a Perception check 21 Nah good old Chip Good Barney

I hate you guys Tap The walls Around it To see if it Echoes like as if There's a chamber Behind it or below it. Like if it's hollow?

Yeah, like. Yeah, make a, let's call that an investigation check. There's got to be something that's confident. There's got to be. Nat 20. Wow. It's all solid stone, so it's hard to tell. It's a solid stone wall,

so it's not like knocking on drywall or wood where you can tell if it's hollow. It's all stone. Can we do another little like like Elga was able to find that little latch. Could we do another little investigate-y? Yeah, groovy. Like walking your fingers around it?

Scrapes. Yeah, whoever wants to do that can make an investigation check. Maybe this thing is just so old it's like solidified itself to the wall just from time. 14. Yeah, it doesn't seem like the coffin moves. It just seems kitchen. Maybe this thing is just so old it's like solidified itself to the wall just from time. Fourteen. Nine. Yeah, it doesn't seem like the coffin moves. It just seems, it does seem like it's a fix. There's no scrapes on the floor

from it like moving out of the way like the door or like the other secret door that you found. Is this a red herring? Are they messing with us? I think we should move on, groove on. Okay. Alright, I put, Chip puts his hands up straight And like kind of does like a hover walk

Over to Barney Roll me a Dexterity check Chip Is this for Steve he scrapes on his way out Dexterity check Are you leaving gently and carefully He didn't say that He said he was messing around.

What'd you roll? What'd you roll? Yeah! Hey, he's already where he needs to be. Yeah, yeah, you goofing around, trying to get out of the coffin, and you step on a nail,

and it goes up through your shoe, doing one point of damage to Chip. Oh, no. Wait, are you down? Yeah. Chip is at zero hit points. This is so good. I go down.

Ken, this is so good. Try and stabilize him. Yeah, you're able to stabilize him there. So he stays at what? Zero and can't move? Correct, unless he gets some kind of healing. Do you have healing? I don't.

I genuinely don't have anything to help. Since you're stabilizing him, Barney, make a medicine check. If you roll a nat 20, then yeah, it comes up to one. Yeah. I rolled a 20, but not a nat 20. So he's at zero. Here's what I'll do. We but not a net 20. It's a 15. Nah, so he's at zero. Here's what I'll do.

We could just leave him here. Just close the door. They never mess with this coffin. Do it. Just do it. You're like in limbo, like in the afterlife. All you hear is the ringing of hammers from the workshop. Carol, I'm coming, baby.

I'm going to cast aid. What does that do? Is a permanent increase of HP for eight hours on three creatures. Oh, how much we get? Chip gets five. Whee! Barney gets five. I don't care. It's so fun.

Do you live in on the... I would like some. Why not? I mean, I was going to give it to Mateed. Oh, yeah. You should give it to Mateed. And Mateed gets five. In case they touch a screw or something like some. Why not? I mean, I was going to give it to Mateed. Oh, yeah, you should give it to Mateed. And Mateed gets five. In case they touch a screw or something like that. Guys, really quick, I need to go to the bunk. No!

Oh, there's an ATM here. Yes! Bill Warg sees you all doing all this and kind of, like, shouts over. You guys need a hammer? Nooo Wait Mind your business! Oh, the nails! Yeah, we do actually

Yes, uh, give me the ammo Just don't throw it! Throw it, I dare you He hands you a hammer Here you go, don't drop it Be careful, this thing- I killed like six monsters with this just last week How many nails? Lots? He doesn't hand you a nail.

No, there's already nails in it. In the coffin. Oh, there's lots of them. I hammer the ones that are sticking out. Yeah, you hammer one of the nails, and the first one you hammer in, immediately the back of the coffin opens up. Hey, guys. Are you enjoying the show?

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They work. Give me my hammer back. I hand it back. I hand it back. I don't. You guys really never find this after having this coffin with nails that are loose all this time. No one's ever tried to fix the nail? He just smiles at you and shrugs. Aw, he's messing with us.

That's a bit of a work. I got really good eyesight right now, so I go into the thing. Mateed, I'm just telling you now, if you find a cool knife, I call dibs. So you look in and it's a quaint candlelit library with a rather empty bookcase on the western wall and two chewed up couches.

One to the north and another to the south. There's currently two batt bookcase on the western wall and two chewed up couches, one to the north and another to the south. There's currently two battlers sitting on the couches reading. What? They knew about this. This is their little break room. They kind of look up at you, then look back down at their books. Is this your break room? One of them looks up and just kind of like nods and gets back to reading.

This is their break room. What you reading? He holds like the cover of the book up to your face. It says, ales from the Stinky Dragon. That's funny. All right, now tell me every book on the shelf. Great. It's a miasmatic manual of mixology for beginner bartenders.

I'm hoping to be a bartender one day. Oh, what's your name? It's a cookbook. Cardinal. Cardinal. We can go to the chapter that we're in and look and see what we're supposed to go to. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't get it.

It's a Kenku, so he's looking at, he looks at Mateed and then looks back in his book. Oh, Kenku. Oh, Kenku, dude. I don't like Kenkus. You guys are like distant relatives. Kenkus, bird people. I go to the empty bookshelf. It's rather empty.

There are some books on it, but it's, you know, it's not a well-stocked library. That's the only bookshelf? Yeah. That's not a good library, dude. Can I borrow that letter? Letter? The letter. Letter! I've got three. Sure! Can I take them and kind of off the side, open them? That's illegal. He's breaking the seal?

Yeah. I'm ripping the, the, not the seal, but ripping the paper. Chip acts like he doesn't see this. Okay, yeah, you open one up. Yeah. And then as you open it, the entire letter and envelope poofs and disappears into red mist. Well, I can't mend it. Marnie, Marnie.

Can I try and mend it? What are you going to mend? The atoms. You know. I'll take the other letters back. Thank you, Barney. I'm just going to put all those little electrons and protons back. Wow. Most letters are

able to be mended. Cardinal looks up and says, Shh. Oh. Shh. I stay back. Oh, no, that's the Kinkoo's job. Yeah, I know. I'm playing the game. Yeah, I could do this too. Ah, asserting dominance. Are there any grooves on the wall or

can I like move some of the books around to see if there's another secret latch? Just going up to the bookshelf and just shaking it. Yeah, make an investigation check. I will go with my investigative partner. That's a 13. 17. No, doesn't seem anything suspicious about it. Nothing

out of the ordinary. No manga? No, there's a couple of books on there, but no, nothing with drawings. Two couches, one dude? Oh, wait, there is one with drawings. What? Yeah. Is it Demon Slayer? You see...

Is it Hexman? Nice. Give yourself an expiration date if you don't have one, John. There's a book that's filled with drawings. It's Fantastic Beasts and How to Cook Them. Oh, good lord. It's a graphic cookbook dealing with monstrous recipes. Well, where are we?

We went out of the workshop. West of the workshop. Into a secret coffin room. Well, when we asked where the counts were bringing or to go to the counts, they pointed to the east. So maybe we should just continue that way instead I'm with Elga I step through the coffin door

carefully is there anything else in this room besides the bookcase and the no just a couple of couches and a couple of battlers reading taking the load off it's like a break yeah yeah which we asked them about already did you confirm just one dude two two It's like a break room or... Yeah. Yeah, which we asked them about already.

Did you confirm just one dude? Two. Two. Who's the other dude? It's an older elf lady. She's like mean mugging you, giving you a side eye. Wait, do I recognize her? Make a history check with advantage.

We should see if you recognize either of them. We got 14. Do you think you've seen her in the past? Do you remember her being very mean. You know her as Mrs. Lofty Bottom. She's great. Mrs. Lofty Bottom. That is fun for all good to say.

My favorite Queen song. Is she like some type of nanny or teacher or like servant? All you remember about her is that she loves cats. She's a battlerette. Oh, do you want to share that information maybe? Hey my dude that's Mrs. Loftybottom. She's not very nice but she loves cats so maybe if we're trying to ask these people questions you could show them Gigi. Oh

I do a little like magic trick and like twiddle my fingers around my my talent my hands and then out comes Gigi. And he does a little mew. She looks very lovingly at the cat, but then, like, gives you a disgusted look, Mateed.

Well, that's not necessary. And she looks back in her book. I put Gigi right up to her and be like, would you like to pet the kitty? You seem like you're having a bad day. Petting a kitty always makes me feel good. Except for when my wife dies. It doesn't really solve that.

She looks at you, Chip, and says, Did you know between you and me there are over 1,400 species of bats? Oh, that's very interesting. Elga, that's... Why is that just between you guys? That's pretty relevant, Elga.

Uh, Madame Bottom, we're trying to find our way to the top of the tower to find our friend's residence. Do you help us maybe with some information on how to find that? She like claps her hands. Sue! Sue! Get out! I'm ready to serve this woman's demands. I hiss at her.

That's my friend! Get your bad facts out of here! Is the hiss because she likes cats? Miss Button, between you and me, I don't like you. Well, I don't like you. Well, I don't like you either. You and that Kenku over there. What's wrong with the Kenku? Oh, birds.

Oh. She's got a book? Yes. I smack the book out of her hand. You see, this is the kind of thing I would expect from you. A bat would never do anything like this. She looks at you, Olga. I don't care about your bat.

Did you know that bats have few natural predators? Disease is one of their biggest threats. Why are you talking to me when you've been so mean to me in the past, Ms. Loftybottom? She, like, narrows her eyes. Oh, Fun breath, right? Correct. She picks her book up and then goes back to reading it. Interesting.

You know, this lady's bringing down the mood for the whole party. I'll take another dish. I think we let her mellow in her bad vibes, gang. We're not gonna let her bring us down, Ms. Tootiebottom. Nailed it. Alright, well thank you for your time.

I wanted to leave one of the more apples. As you all are turning to leave, Barney, she grabs you and says Hey, don't forget! Like cats, bats clean themselves! Remember that.

I never forget. Could never forget such a thing. All right, should we go to the east corridor that they kept motioning towards? So just to remind you, when you're in the workshop, there is a door to the south and then an open passage corridor to the east. Okay, let's go east. Did we come in through the door? We came in from the north. There's no door. We went to the coffin to the east. Okay. Let's go east. Did we come in through the door? We came in from the north.

There's no door. We went to the coffin to the west. And then there's to the east from the workshop is what he's describing. Oh, there's passageways to the east from the workshop? Correct. And that's the one that that bulwurg bal bal balewurg balewurg was referencing.

Yeah, and they're pointing. We're supposed to take our three letters. But also there's like, well, I thought Mindy would be a good solution. There's also a door, though. Do we want to just really quick bit by? Because we got a key. Bailwag!

Yeah? What's with that door? That's a closet. What do you keep in there? Junk. Cool. I look in there. One man junk is another man's treasure, you know?

You open up the closet to give a little peek. Out comes a giant dog named Junk. Cool. I look in there. One man junk is another man's treasure. You know? You open up the closet to give a little peek. Out comes a giant dog named Junk. It rips the chip apart. Doing exactly five points of damage. Yeah, so you walk over and open up the door. Make a dexterity saving throw, Chip. Gus is

trying to kill Blaine's character. Not 2025. Right as you open it up, the door opens, and then just like a huge pile of junk just falls out, filling up the room, the area right in front of it with a bunch of useless things. Then right as you do that, you know, it makes a loud noise. Two Sferatu walk in from the eastern passageway

that you all were just about to go to. I say, Miss Lofty Bottom, you gotta stop opening the junk drawer drawer. Goodness me. Clean this up, Miss Lofty Bottom. Miss Lofty Bottom did this. Make a deception check. Miss Lofty Bottom did this. Everyone else can also either make a

deception check or a stealth check if you want to try to hide yourself. You have inspiration. Yeah, I rolled an 11, but I'm going to roll an inspiration on that one. I'm doing another stealth check. I rolled a 9. I rolled a 1. 14. To make a 3.

On what? Deception. I did a 7. Only one of us had said we should just go through the east corridor. If only. I would have had you all bump right into them in the eastern corridor there. Yeah, it would happen. Yeah, they hear all the noise and their eyes immediately turn to that closet and they walk straight over to you all.

Bonjour. Hello. Identify yourselves. My name Elga. Madame, you are okay. And these are my friends, Elga's friends. Who are they? Elga's friends.

What are they doing here? Being Elga's friends. Who are they? Elga's friends. What are they doing here? Being Elga's friends. Visiting Elga. Distracts. Why are you in Zetelzadok? Shouldn't you be upstairs? Well, you know, I'm being childlike and exploring, you know, as children, young, very young children do. Full of wonder, you know.

Yeah. Just being a little curious. I'll let you make a deception trick with advantage what's uh elga's deception modifier plus four nice that's what she's uh 18 yeah we say that gustavo all right take this dare well don't spend too much time down here with your friends okay thank you elga's friends, too. Everyone say thank you. Merci beaucoup. Blah. Vampires. They leave the room exiting out the northern passageway. Chris just nodded silently on an audio podcast.

In my canon right there, Barney was going to play as if he was a mute. Yep. So if they talked to him, he would have just gestured or written like, I guess, you know. Yep. That was his plan. There you go. The mute on the podcast. It works.

Well, we are describing it very thoroughly to the audience. Yes. All right. We go down the corridor. You're just going to leave all that clutter out there? I made a lofty bottom. All right. All right.

I mean, that's up to you. I do. I do a little like two fingers on the eyes, two fingers on bell works. I'm like, I see you. I do a little like two fingers on the eyes, two fingers on bell works. I'm like, I see you. I see what you're doing. Barney, look at the clutter, see if there's anything that might be of note. Of note? I mean, there's like a well-chewed

femur. I mean, you could probably use that as a club. That might be worth something. A well-chewed femur. Yeah. It's a bone. Okay, I'll take that. Oh, there's another weapon. What? There's a sword, but it's twisted into a pretzel Okay, that's fine Pretzord

Like, purposefully done so? No, it was by accident What is that question? Like, that's your face I don't know Oh my gosh Oh Out of all the There's been multiple murders this episode your face. I don't know. Oh my gosh. Oh.

Adam, all the junk. There's been multiple murders this episode and one just happened. I'll take my femur. So, that's it. A pretzel sword and a femur. I mean, there's some candles. There's a broom. And this is all the junk?

Yeah. Why don't we just shove it in like Sherry Bobbins did on the Simpsons? Yeah, you can do that. I want to get going down the east. You're going to kind of reset it how it was. Just kind of shove everything back in and close the door. Can I just take the broom? Yeah. It's made of wolf whiskers. If you cut every corner, it is really not so

bad. Yeah. You all shove all the clutter back into the closet and very quickly close the door for the next unsuspecting person. To the east. To the window. I was thinking that too. I don't know why. I'm going to start listening.

I'll go more. It's almost as if this is my place. It's almost as if it is. You walk out the passageway to the east, and it kind of dead ends, and then there's a corridor that goes out to the left to the north and then a door to your right to the east and it kind of dead ends and then there's a corridor that goes out to the left to the north and then a door to your right to the south. So like we hit a fort? Correct. This isn't that hallway on the east that we saw right? No no you're further south from there. So like I said

there's a door to the south and then the corridor continues to the north and you can see that there are a couple of branches off to the north in various directions left and right. Let's keep heading south. Like into that corridor? Why not? To the south, it's a door. There's a wooden door, and it's got a word carved into it. What does the word say?

It says bestiary. Bestiary. Oh. That's where they keep the beasts. Very good, Barney. Where would we be without you, Barney? Probably further along this treacherous path. One plus one letter.

Yeah. I say we possibly avoid that one. I like animals. Never mind. Let's go inside. Do we hear any noises through the door? Yeah. What kind of sounds?

You hear like the moving, like the rattling of chains. Like things are being chained down. Should we check what the north leads to he said it branches off into a few places yeah if you go north there's immediately a branch to the east and then a little north of that there's a branch to the west and then even further

at the end of the corridor is a branch to the east so that's a three way oh good lord my dude alright it's winding past it's a good thing Barney thought to make a map. I have one. I'm making one. Okay. I feel like my map almost is like hurting me

more than helping me. Yeah, one time we did this in the Infinite Campaign and I ended up just, I think, making it harder for myself. Yeah. Okay. I'm gonna fall on my gut. My chip gut. The first path to the east. What does that lead to? If we go north. Northeast. Yeah, if we go north and then look down that first path to the east. What does that lead to? If we go north. Northeast. Yeah, go north and then look down that first path

to the east. You see it's a descending staircase that ends in a T intersection going north and south. Good. Any signage in this place? No. And then the... We're just like, okay, we're just like going down and tracing our steps. And so if we go

back and go to the west, which is the only western one from this corridor, where does that go to? I think we're going to make some choices here, guys. I thought there was two paths to the west, were there not? There was one to the... Well, you came from one that went to the west. Yeah, and then it came to a hallway. And the south was the bestiary. And then north were all these off paths, right?

Correct. There's two to the east and one to the west. Yeah. Yeah. Gotcha. The one to the west, it's staircases that lead down, and then the corridor turns to the north. Okay. I say we go upwards.

We need, like, up progression. And by up, you mean south. Oh, no, no, no. Well, upstairs. Yeah. Which of these stairways, I haven't been keeping track of that. Which of these stairways have been going upwards? The one to the east.

When you came out this way, then you turned north, and the first one immediately to the east, it does go up slightly. Let's try. Yeah, let's go that way. Let's try. So we're at a T. Well, we get to a T that goes north-south, right? Correct.

It's a T intersection that goes north and south. From there, there's a descending staircase to the north that seems to turn to the west. And then to your south, the corridor goes a little bit, and there's a door there. And that goes up a little bit to the south? No, you said descending? Descending is...

Descending staircase to the north, then to the south. There's no stairs there. It's just the corridor continues. So I say south then. Okay, let's go to the door. Yeah, there's a wooden door here. Is it locked?

You can open it. A sign? Does it got a sign? No sign. No sign. Any sounds? Listen. Check for traps.

If you want to listen, make a perception check. If you want to check for traps, make an investigation check. Okay, let's double team it. I'm going to do perception. I sounds? Listen. Check for traps. If you want to listen, make a perception check. If you want to check for traps, make an investigation check. Okay. Let's double team it. I'm going to do perception. I got higher perception. I'll do perception.

I'm not even going to bother telling you my role. 23. 21. 16, investigation. I was just sitting in the hall with her fingers in her ears going, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Blah, blah, blah. Planning to kill Miss Lottie Bottom. She's now number one on my list.

You don't detect any traps. When you listen, you feel like you can hear almost like the scraping of chains every now and then, and then footsteps. They must be doing the monster mash in there.

It was a graveyard smash. Or some sort of vile torture chamber. I open the door. You open the door door and it's a rather confined room, smelling of copper with crimson stained floors and there's a stack of barrels to the north and to the south. Obviously from the north side

you all just enter through a door and then to the east is a swinging double door. And then to the west is an open corridor that seems to lead down. Is there someone in here? Currently no. And it's crim... There's copper with crimson stained floors. Smelling of copper with crimson stained floors.

Smelling of copper. Probably that'd be blood. Yeah, because blood typically has like a coppery smell, right? Matit looks up. There's a stone ceiling about 20 feet overhead. Could I look in one of the barrels? Yeah. You go over to the barrels and it seems like there's a liquid inside of it. Could I tell if it's blood?

It smells like blood to you. Okay. Could I taste it? Yeah. Dip a little thingy in there? Yeah. And he looks away. You know, the barrels have, you know, lids on the top and the bottom.

They're laying on their side, and there's like a little cork stopper in the side. You open it up, and it's just like filled to the brim. You give it a little taste. Ooh. Yeah. Goat blood. Goat blood. Goat blood.

Oh, no. Remember that mountain goat we saw? Oh. R. Ooh. Yeah. Goat blood. Goat blood. Goat blood. Oh, no. Remember that mountain goat we saw? Oh. R.I.P. Is there a... Now he's alive. We saved him. Oh.

Yeah. Is there a chain on the floor anywhere or anything? No, but as that moment, as you're looking around, a battler wanders in from that western corridor, leading a tethered goat into the room. Okay. Just the man we were looking for. Hey, you. He kind of looks up at you and then looks back down,

continuing on his way. Where do we, where's stairs? A little turned around. We're from Scamsylvania. I like how you're just telling people where you're from, even though they're not questioning you at all. Master of deception. Our rogue.

It's a dwarf who's wandered in with this goat, and he says, Does he indicate where, when he says this? I was told to take that goat. He looks at you and then looks at the goat. He just kind of shrugs his shoulders and gives you the chain that's leading the goat and then wanders back to the west. Thank you. A new friend. Hello, goat.

I didn't want it to die. That is your goat now, Barney. That goat will not survive this campaign. Everyone, you get a pet. Congratulations. Did I recognize that, Battler? Make a history check with advantage. Oh my god, I rolled two ones. Oh no. No, it didn't seem familiar to you. I think that, Battler? Make a history check with advantage. Oh, my God. I rolled two ones.

Oh, no. No, it didn't seem familiar to you. I think that was your dad. I think I didn't say this. It's a really big goat. It's a giant goat. Oh, no. Like horse-sized riding goat?

Yeah, it's probably about that size. Wow. Okay. You can get a lot of blood out of that guy. It's like mileage. Yeah. You pat it on the back. Wow, that's a lot of blood. A that guy. It's like mileage. You pat it on the back. That's a lot of blood.

A lot of good power in there. Here's the problem that's going to arise from this new companion. We are trying to blend in, yeah. We are trying to seem like we are counts of this area, and I do not think walking around with the food on the chain. I don't think so. The dwarf wanders back into the room from the west, this time with a chain leading a giant brown bear.

I'll let him keep that one. He doesn't even look at you all. He walks over to the center of the room, and he slices open a vein and begins draining blood from the bear into a barrel. Bummer. Anyways. Let's leave this place. Should we go through those double doors?

Yeah. To the east? Yeah, it looks like it's swinging double doors to the east. And that's not where they came in. You said the west is where they came in. Correct. This one came in from the west. I feel like that is connected to the bestiary, the one to the west. Yeah, we made a circle. We should go east. Okay, yeah, double doors.

Elga, you said you were going through first, right? Yeah. Which double door do you go through, the left side or the right side? I swing them both equally open in the middle. And then Chip makes like little like spurs. She's a little cowgirl. You ain't seen none of this in this town. Are you taking the goat with you, Barney?

Yes. We are now going to be rolling at disadvantage on every check we do. Barney, I don't know if we should take that through here. It might be hard to navigate. They can't leave it here. The dwarf begins leading the bear back out to the west. Oh, so it lives.

He just gets a little bit of blood out of it. He's fine. Can I pull Chip aside really quick? Hey there. Hey, it's Chip 80. How you doing? Chip and I are going to have a moment, okay? Okay.

Chip. Hi. If we kill this goat, the goat won't be a problem anymore. Which means partly it won't be a problem anymore. Which means Barney won't be a problem anymore. At this point. You're not part of this. I wash my hands of this. I don't want any part.

I will distract Barney. And you will do what you do best. Kill goat. Barney, make an animal handling check. Oh, my God. It's going to kick Barney, isn't it? That's a 17. Oh, okay. Yeah.

The goat's really stubborn. It doesn't want to follow you, but you managed to get it to continue to follow you. It's fine. It's fine. Let's just go. So, Elga, you push open both doors and walk through. You nearly hit a battler who's coming out in the opposite direction. But they definitely dodge out of the way at the last second.

And they keep going. They keep walking past you. My apologies. I'm very familiar with these parts of the castle. Town? Area? Thing? Spire? You burst through the swinging doors and you find

yourself in a large dining hall, bustling with a cacophonous carousal. There's two long tables running parallel through the center of the room, occupied by probably a dozen or so battlers, all sipping from rusty goblets. To the north, there's a few tapped barrels resting on a bench next to some empty goblets. No outlet? There is a door to the east. So like on the opposite side of where we came in.

Okay. You guys want to head to that door? Do I recognize anyone in here? Uh-oh. Make a history check with advantage. Are the battlers vamps? Make the call. I don't know.

Because if they're eating blood, what are they eating? They're drinking out of rusty goblins. I mean, I assume they're bats or like some type. Well, he said there was a gnome and there was a dwarf. Yeah. Maybe it's just all they eat. Like that's all they have. They have no choice i don't

know interesting i don't think i recognize anyone but just in case they got no response what was his name quiff quiffler quaffler quiff quiggly quiffly yeah you do not recognize anyone, Elga. Did you ever feed Cliffly? It was not my responsibility. He could take care of himself. He didn't water her. She didn't blutter Cliffly before she left. Try explaining that phrase to anybody who doesn't listen to this podcast. Yeah.

As you all are standing there, two Sfratu walk in from the room you all were just in, coming in through the double doors. They nearly bump into you. Hello. Again. Meet Elga, remember, with my friends. Same ones? fraught to walk in from the room you all were just in, coming in through the double doors. They nearly bump into you. Hello! Again? Meet Elga, remember? With my friends. Same ones? No, these are different ones. Uh... What are you doing down here? They look at you, Elga. Again, just exploring.

You know, like kids do. Elga, are you lost? Barney, make an animal handling check. Okay. Chip is turning his back to just kind of join a group of battlers. 23. Hoofer's great. I love Hoofer.

Hoofer is about to let a loud, really loud bleed out, but you like kind of hold his mouth and keep him from making too much noise. I thought you said he was going to bleed out. No, bleat. Bleat. He said go, so he bleats. That's so funny. Yeah, no, I'm just a little lost.

Could you guys actually help me get back to my chambers? I'll say make a deception check with advantage, because you're not entirely lying. Okay. There's a 23. Wow. They look rather annoyed with you, and they just kind of point vaguely to the

northeast and turn around and leave out to the west. I imagine these guys just kind of hover, right? They just got like a creepy little gate to them. So that could be through that door maybe. Or where we first started in the initial hallway where we could have just gone to the east down that corridor. And instead we went to the west. Were they motioning in the room towards the end of the room?

It seemed more like they were pointing in a direction rather than something in the room. Well, there's a door on the opposite side of this. Let's go east. Which is to the east. Let's boogie, gang. Let's go through there. Anything of interest in here to anybody?

No. Pretzel weapons? Hopefully this is not the area where the red wedding happens. You guys would love that. As you're walking through, one of the battlers tugs at you, Chip. Does he tug my tail? He tugs on your cloak. Oh, okay.

Hey there. Hey, you're the guy that's taking the letters to the aviary, right? Yeah, yeah, I'm a bit turned around. Where is the aviary? He points to the north. Actually, he points to the northwest. Okay. He goes, hey, can you all do any more work?

Can you do any work for me? What do you got? What do you got? What do you got? We need to get rid of some carcasses from the bestiary, take them over to the refusiary. Mm-hmm. So many side quests.

Could use some help, maybe, you know. He looks around, makes sure the Sfratu have left the room. He could sneak into the scryery, see what the Sfratu are up to over there, see if we can figure out some stuff. I look for approval from the gang. What are we feeling about this, guys? What's in it for us?

We get to sneak in and listen to the Svratu. If you help out, I could maybe get you into the dregs. Maybe hook you up with some hemo pieces. He just named four new places. Or if you could do something about these gosh darn rats. And he kicked the rat from under the table. I stabbed the rat. What's up with the rats? I don't know. They're

everywhere. They're making the creatures in the bestiary sick. When did they start chilling up? It seems like it's gotten especially worse in the last month. And you don't know where they're coming from? No. If you could help find them, that would be so appreciated. I can tell you what.

We will definitely kill any rats that we see along the way. How does that sound? Great. As far as the bestiary and the refusiary, if it's on our way, absolutely. But we kind of got a thing to do. I already got my hands full with these letters. All right. Well, you might be interested in the dregs.

That's all. What is the dregs? You know. The black market. Oh. Is that here in the spire? Yeah. You know, What is the dregs? You know, the black market. Is that here in the spire? Yeah, you know, it is. Is it up or down? I don't know.

If you do me a favor, maybe I can tell you. And what's this guy's name? So many NPCs. The name's Twinty Wayne. Count Twinty Wayne. What? You're a count? Are you a battler?

Count Twinty Wayne. Is he a battler? Make a perception check. Yeah, is he dressed? I'm going to check on this, too. You better check. I got a 9. I got a 7. I got a 12. Elga, you know this is a battler. This is not a count. They're all messing with us.

These little... He's got a very dilapidated, like a very threadbare torn cloak on. I think these battlers are from Scamsylvania. Oh! Can I get Hoover to help us carry the bodies? Again, I say if we bump

into the bestiary and we're just kind of, it's on our way, then yeah, let's do it. Let's go to the bestiary. Okay. Scamsylvania sounds great. So we'll have to backtrack then to go back to the bestiary? Yeah, just right over there. He points me to the west. I'm very insistent about this rat problem and it is involved in the bestiary. Maybe, just right over there. He points me to the west. I'm very insistent about this rat problem,

and it is involved in the bestiary. Maybe we should investigate. Okay. Two birds, one stone. Oh, sorry. That's a bad state of the seed. Miss Lofty Bottom would be your friend. We go...

Miss Lofty Bottom, we know what channel she watched on TV. We go west and west, I guess, through the room that smells like copper into the beast here. Correct. Let's go. What's your marching order? Elga first. Elga, when you get to the double doors, which one do you go through? The right one. You go through the right

door and someone's coming through the other side at the exact same moment and you bump into each other. But if they're coming the other side, would I not bump into them? Yeah, he's saying that you passed. They came in on the same side Elgus tried to go out of. They tried to open the left door for them. Correct.

Yeah, they bump right into you and you take... What? Were they just running around with swords forward? They're running in with food. You take three points of bludgeoning damage. Pretzel swords. Pretzel swords. Pretzel swords on a tray. The battler's holding their nose going,

ah. Do they take any points of damage? Yes. Excellent. Oh, their nose is bloody. Oh, no. I'm so sorry. Okay, no need to cry.

Left, left. You left the room. Okay, okay, okay. Thank you. I'm sorry. I was just, I did a little bit of spinning before, and I was just a little dizzy, and I think I just went through the wrong door.

You know, kid stuff. The battler continues on their way. Okay. Let's go to the bestiary, which was... Yeah, you walk to the west, which takes you back into the cellar, and then from there, that's the room that that battler was bringing creatures in.

From that room to the west of there. Yeah, a ramp. Okay, let's go down the ramp to the bestiary. Yes, I'm saying. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We can leave the coach. Yeah, you walk further west and it's a large cool chamber reeking of fecal fetidness. With straw covering the floor, stocked with stacked cages confining various creatures along the western wall.

To the east on the side you entered from, there's chains and metal harnesses hanging on the wall, a steaming cauldron of topaz liquid, and this ramp leading to the cellar that you came from. Are there any bodies? Because they said they wanted to dispose of bodies. That was a separate thing, I think.

That was in the bestiary, though, right? Yeah, make a perception check. We had to go from bestiary to refusiary. And the rats were a problem in the bestiary, too. Yeah, they a perception check. We had to go from bestiary to refusiary. Yeah. And the rats were a problem in the bestiary too. Yeah, they're everywhere. 17. You notice that some of the cages have dead creatures in them.

Poor thing. Could I, like looking at the way the floor is laid out, does it look like the blood and bodies are dragged towards a particular place? Oh, that's really astute. Make an investigation check. Five. Yeah, it's hard to tell with all the straw on the floor. I'd like to look for holes that rats would be entering through.

Yeah, you find like various missing stones. Oh, never mind. Make an investigation check. I already found it. You messed up. Seven. No, there's no rats here. Oh, dang it.

Are there any rats in the room with us? Are the rats in the room with us now? Are the rats in the room with us as we speak? You see one rat chewing on some straw. I shoot at it with my crossbow. Make an attack roll. Okay. Miss.

18. Yeah, it hits. Doing. Why do you want him to miss? We can see where it runs. Yeah, you skewer the rat and it falls over dead. Okay. Very good folly.

Do we see where the refusary entrance or whatever is? So, you know, you came from the east, so you know that the cellar's over there. You see a door to the north and you know that that must be the other side of the door you saw previously that said bestiary on it. So those are the only two exits from this room. You can make an investigation check from each other. So we have found a circle is what we have found. Yeah. That's a 15.

You think you see drag marks leading to that northern door. All right, gang, let's get our hands dirty. Drag marks? Like as in bodies have been dragged. Yeah, so the refusory must be to the north. So maybe if we go down to that west path, it'll take us there. Yeah, maybe. Or there's another, because there was another east path as well.

Correct, further down. What sort of bodies are in the cage? In one of the cages, you see a dead giant goat, and in another one, you see a dead elf. A dead elf? Yes. Bummer. Do we hear any squeakings or any mice noises? Make a perception check.

Ooh, 19. You don't hear any other scurrying or rat noises. Do we actually need to be disposing of these batteries or should we just be following this path? I think we should follow the path. Yeah, I feel like the battlers are just trying to do their work. Yeah, and we are supposed to be counts, and we are not supposed to be doing slowly work.

A count asked you to help. No, he did not. No, he did not. I had a bad vibe about that guy. Alright, let's go to the refusory then. We don't know. We haven't seen a sign with the refusory yet. Go to the drag marketplace. Get the bodies. You're going to gather

the bodies? With Hoofer. He's going to put them on Hoofer. You go up to the cage with... Which one do you pick first, the goat or the elf? Probably the elf. You go up to the cage with the dead elf in it and it's got a lock on it. Does our key open that lock? Can you try it?

I try it because I think I'm in possession of it. Yeah, you take the key and try to open the lock. This seems more like a, it doesn't seem to fit. This seems more like an arcane lock. Are they both locked up? Yes. Are there any keys in the room, like hung up or anything? Barney, make me a wisdom check.

Fifteen. You think that there must be a password that can open these locks. And as you're staring at it, that dwarf battler is putting a bear back up into a cage. He sees what you're doing and whispers over to you, Barney. He motions for you to bend down so he can whisper to you. Yeah. Bram. Then he keeps walking.

Bram. And it's open. Yeah, you say that and then the lock on the cage with the elf opens up. Okay, and I load him up on hoofer. Okay. Does he have anything on him or anything? No, very clothes that are very big, oversized. It seems like the elf is very emaciated.

And I guess can I do the same with the other goat? Yeah, you go over and open up the lock with the goat in it as well. And I load them up with Hoofer. Okay, make an animal handling check. 9, 20, 25. Yeah, I was going to give you a hard time about it. I love Hoofer.

Hoofer's playing along. Yeah, you load up the dead elf and the dead giant goat onto Hoofer's back. I'm sorry, Hoofer. Okay, now we go to the... Follow the scratch marks. Scratch marks, blood marks. Drag. At the north.

Yeah, who opens that door? I'll go, why not? Show up as the left side of the door. This is not a double door, but that's good to know. Yeah, you open it up and it is that hallway you saw before. And then from your perspective now, it just goes straight ahead of you to the north. The passageway to the west, which leads to the workshop, you know,

pass away just a little to the north and to the east, which you had already taken. Then further beyond that's another corridor that turns to the west, which leads to the workshop, you know, pass away just a little to the north and to the east, which you had already taken. Then further beyond that's another corridor that turns to the west. And then at the very end, it turns to the east. So there's like two corridors we haven't explored down there. Correct. One to the west and one to the east. Can we tell where the drag marks are leading? Make a investigation check.

Can I participate in this? Sure. Do I have advantage since I'm looking up close? Yes. Sorry, I ask every time and I rolled a four is my better roll. Really? Two and a four, yeah. Ten.

Yeah, it's unclear. It's hard to see. Maybe by this point, you know, a lot of the blood has dried up, so you really can't tell which direction it goes. Barney, question for you. Do you think Stinker would be jealous of Hoofer? No, I don't think so. Okay.

Different animals, right? Yeah, different farm't think so. Okay. Different animals, right? Yeah, different farm animals. Gotcha. Okay, just asking. I mean, by, I see. Yeah, make an animal handling check. 13? Yeah, Stinker seems very indifferent.

Okay, see if Stinker can sniff towards the dead bodies, whatever you call it, room. Oh, like a guide dog. How are you going to try to get Stinker to do that? whatever you call it, room. Oh, like a guide dog. How are you going to try to get Stinker to do that? I point at the dead bodies and go, and then point, like, forward,

like, have him sniff them and be like, go find them. All right, make an animal handling check. Lots of animal handling checks this episode. This is the animal handling episode. Stinker poops. 14. Does he poop?

Please. Is it a skeleton? I don't think so. It does, you just don't see it. Stinker just starts licking your foot, and then he begins whimpering. Oh, sorry. And then right at that moment, one single Sfratu walks around the corner from that furthest one that goes to the east and looks at you all.

Don't engage, don't engage. I just keep walking towards where he came out of. I walk towards the op to the other door. I doubt the Sfratu would be heading towards the dead bodies. So what do you mean? So Chip's going in the direction the Sfratu would be heading towards the dead bodies. So what do you mean? So Chip's going in the direction the Sfratu came from. Which is the east. Right, the east.

The place we haven't gone. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm going that way. I guess I'm saying I would imagine the Sfratu wouldn't be going to where they dispose of bodies. They seem to be just patrolling. Yeah, I think they're just patrols. Because they keep going around and everywhere. Okay, what about Elga and Mateed?

Yeah, I'm following. I follow. Okay. The Sfratu looks at the carcasses on Hofer's back, looks you all over, and then just seems to ignore you and keeps going on his way. Yeah, we just got to not engage and do suspicious stuff. So, what do we see?

Do we find the... Yeah, you turn that corner to the east, and it's a very long hallway that ends in a door at the far side on the east. Uh-huh. About halfway down the corridor to the north is a door. And then as well on the right side to the south there's another door.

And this whole hallway kind of goes up a little bit. Elga, I hate your home. Hey, I didn't make it. So there's three doors. You said one on the south wall, one on the north wall. And one on the east wall. Do any of these doors,

could I look at them and see if any of them look significant? Well, they're all significant. But I mean, are there any like symbols or anything written on any of them? None. Like if you're asking if any of them are labeled, there aren't any really labels on any of them. They're just unmarked doors. No symbols or anything? No.

Okay. Are they all open? Like could I just try the handles? The one thing that stands out is the one to the east and the south are wooden, whereas the one to the north is iron. Oh. I think we should check out that north door. Iron door. Iron door first.

Yeah. Is it open? I bet that's the aviary and then the dumping bodies and the wooden doors. Either way, we get something accomplished because we got tasks. Yeah, you try to open it. It's got a lock on it. Does our key open that lock? Yeah. And it's a very austere room with a red sigil on the northern wall

just above a kneeling bench. And there's a bloodstone font in the center filled with swirling crimson ichor. Seems like from that room, there's another passage to the east. Oh my god. Is it like a fountain? Yeah. Yeah.

So it was liquor or ichor. Ichor. What is ichor? Like a gore? Like a thick liquid? Okay. Is that like a thing you would dump bodies into? That's what you are.

You don't think so. Okay. I will say, Barney, make me a religion check. Oh, this is like a kneeling bench is what he said. Yeah. Yeah. Maybe like a- That's a three. Yeah, definitely no bodies here.

I've been in church in a while. That's our cleric. I've been in church in a while. Hey, Barney. Could I go look at the fountain? Or the ichors? Yeah. You begin walking to the north to walk up to the fountain.

And as you're doing that, Belga, you hear footsteps around the corner getting closer and closer. Are they coming from the east? Yes. As they quickly approach, you hear a voice speaking in hushed tones. Oh, this just isn't my day. You know this voice. It's a young male dwarf with uneven, jittery hair that runs straight into you and spills a bottle of blood

everywhere. Oh, my ma. Are you okay, Belga? Quiffly? Yeah, you found Quiffly the Battler. Eek, eek, eek, eek. Eek, eek, eek, eek. Eek, eek, eek? Quiffly? Yeah, you found Quiffly the battler. Eek, eek, eek, eek. Eek, eek, eek, eek. Eek, eek, eek. Eek, eek, eek.

Quiffly. Yay. Oh, gosh. She hugs him. Yeah, and he gives you a big hug back. I joined the group hug. Icky, icky, icky, icky, icky, icky. These are my friends, Quiffly. Oh, I can't wait to meet them in the next episode of Tales from the City.

Hoover, we're just going to... I don't know what's going to happen to you. Thanks for listening, everybody. We'll see you guys next week. Icky, icky. Icky, icky. Blurble, blurble. Icky, icky, icky. Blurble, blurble is hello. Icky, icky is bye. everybody we'll see you guys next week eek eek eek eek eek eek eek eek eek eek eek

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eek eek eek that we want to shout out this week, including Misfit Weird Girl, Ophelia, same. We got Vixie Soft Paws, Norse Ingram, Poke Inspired, and Subangelus. Thank you guys so much. You are directly supporting the show

and you get access to more great content like Second Wind, interact with us on subscriber-only Discord channels and events, and so much more. Again, that's stinkydragonpod.com slash first. We cannot thank you guys enough for your support. It really, truly helps us be able to make the show and hopefully do so much more in the future.

We also had some listeners who interacted with us on social media and discord who had NPCs named after them. In this week's episode, we had graph the painter at Photographer on First, voiced by Christian Young, who is X Chin Young on social media. Vin Vaughn, the Stinky Fingered Halfling, named after Vin Culprit on First. Beowarg the Monster Slayer, user Vaughn Beowulf on Reddit, voiced by Andrew Panton, at Andrew Panton on social media. Card Eye Now, the aspiring bartender, named after Tusked Centaur on First. Mrs. Lofty Bottom, the bird hater, named after Jeremy Smurf on Discord, and voiced by Larry Matavina, at Larry Matavina on social media. We also had Gally the Mumbling Animal Handler named after Unicorn Dookie on first, Twinty Wayne the Count who's at BB on first, and finally Quiffly who is Elga's Butler named after

Aaron the Ace on first and voiced by Ben Ernst at Halcyon underscore Ben on social media. Additionally, we had the Sviratu who are voiced by our very own David Saunier, who is at David underscore Saunier on social media. The Stinky Dragon channel is managed by Ben Ernst. This episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon was produced by Kai Cook, written, edited, and composed by Micah Reisinger

with additional editing work by David Saunier. Head over to stinkydragonpod.com slash first for all things stinky. And make sure to tune in next time for another thrilling episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon. That's me being spooky. I walk over to another cage and I whisper into the lock, Stephanie Meyer.

The lock begins sparkling. I also understand this reference. Ha ha ha ha ha ha. Author of Twilight, which is another vampire story. Bram Stoker is a vampire. Ha ha ha ha. Okay.