Talking Shit with a Yank & a Brit - 2. Trevor might be an idiot

Episode Date: March 30, 2023

This week our Yank and Brit delve into the world of dating! Kate and Gemma share their experiences with dating in their 20's, the complicated world of online dating and Kate shares her worst dating story... If you want more Talking Sh*t with a Yank & a Brit, Follow and subcribe to get notified when new episodes drop - and give us a cheeky rating too if you fancy!

Hello and welcome to Talking Shit with a Yank and a Brit. So for the audience at home, this is our second episode of our very popular podcast that I think two people outside of us have maybe heard at this point, but rave reviews from my husband and your roommate. And, you know, I think it's because we're so real. This podcast is really about, you know i think it's because uh we're so real uh this podcast is really about you know two friends who are from different countries cultures parts of the world talking shit about stuff and sharing stories um just a disclaimer yeah just a disclaimer we're uh not experts really on much of anything except for what we decide we are. So nothing about this podcast is deemed to be research worthy, should be considered legal advice or diagnosis information about anything.

So don't, you know, complain when we get something wrong because chances are we did that on purpose just making sure you're listening all right so what do you got for me today um well i've got a nice story for you i've got a few stories actually um had a little incident last week. I ran myself a bubble bath. Nice. I mean, I go all in for bubble baths. It's deep. It's hot.

I've got salts. I've got bubbles. I've got relaxation oils. I light candles everywhere. Oh, this is an event. Yeah, I've got like a caddy that i put my laptop on to watch it holds my glass of wine i've got a bath pillow okay so you're like sean you're gonna be in there for the long haul oh yeah i'm in there for like a good hour yeah okay um so yeah so i wrap

my bath it's beautiful in there it's so relaxing all my little tea candles do you know what they are like the little they look like this, the short ones that are like a quarter size. Yeah. So I lit all those and I usually I light them at the end of the bath and then I then move them around the bathroom. So I did all that. Got in the bath. I'm relaxing.

Got my head back. Got my hair in a bun. And all of a sudden I just hear I'm just like, what the hell was that? And then thought, oh fuck, I didn't move the candles. So I've got all these tea lights behind my head. I was like, no. So luckily luckily like as i moved picked my head up the fire was clearly put out but yeah my my bun set on fire in the bath i'm supposed the smell of burning hair didn't hit you first oh yeah that was like the second thing so i was like i heard the noise it's like what because i had the window open because it's so hot in there

i thought god that was weird like really weird wind noise like never heard that before and then i got the whiff and was like, that smells like burning hair. Holy fuck. My hair just burned. How bad is your hair fucked up? Is it like I need to go to the salon bad? No. Thankfully, it was fine. But because it was like in a bun and all tied up.

And I mean, the noise was like. So to me, that indicated. There was indicated there was a whole bun yeah but luckily it must have been like just sort of the tip that was coming out of the bun if you know what I mean but yeah I didn't like look at it immediately I was just like I'm in the bath now that was going to be my next question is did that ruin your bath time or did you stay the course I thought I'm just going to sit here just try and relax just forget about it but at intervals throughout the bath it was just intrusive thoughts like oh my god what if I take my hair down and I've just got like a shaggy bun left. You undo your bun and like half your hair falls out.

That's what I thought. I was like, what if everything just falls out? Oh God. But yeah, thankfully it's okay. I'm not bald. That noise is what saved you. Because imagine if it was just silent. It was terrifying honestly

so what are you going to do differently next time I'm going to check that I move I'm just not going to light the candles on the bath basically they can go everywhere around the bathroom but not the bath so yeah word of warning check you've moved your candles before you lay back in the bath

well I mean good for you though on, on, like, taking that time. Because I really struggle with taking baths. Like, Sean always offers to draw me one. And I cannot. I just, like, I don't enjoy sitting in it. It's, like, usually too warm. And I just get bored even with, like, having, you know, and my iPad to watch something. And I just can't relax.

And I think this is about me more than the bath like i think as a kid baths were reserved for like if you're sick you know like oh really well so take a bath but other than that it's always just kind of a shower so sean really really enjoys like a couple hour bath session you've got like jets in your bath haven't you we do oh my god they work sometimes but yes when they work i think that's a big big bonus for sean but he bubble baths bath bombs shower caddy he usually will have a little snack candy there's often like candy wrappers in there when i go in there so yeah that's like also an event for him and you know i i think he did this a lot when he lived in england too and i suspect it's probably one of those things like it's raining cold out nothing like a hot bath

maybe yeah but i can just i can't do it oh you need to get into it well what you were setting the scene for with the candles and being really relaxing i mean i could get i could get the appeal of that but i also feel like i would be someone who might accidentally set myself or something on fire yeah i mean it's it is a real issue as i discovered there needs to be more PSAs about bath time fires, I think. It does. Bath time safety in school. Hey kids. Wanna bath?

Only you can prevent tub fires. Well I'm glad, I mean you have nice hair so I'm glad it was salvageable. Yeah. I recently dyed it, actually, so maybe that prevented full burn. Or maybe it made it worse. I don't know.

Just the toxic fumes of the dye. Yeah. Just stopped the fire. It's fire retardant, but yeah, you're going to inhale some of that. Yeah, it didn't smell good and then the next day i went into the bathroom there was like just like charred hair and like black bits did keith see it yeah i showed keith and. I was like, come and look at my burnt hair. Leave it there as a reminder. I did for like four days.

I was like, I'm leaving that there. I'm going to ingrain that in my memory so it doesn't happen again. Never forget the hair fire of 2023. Brilliant. Nice. So crushing it, I think, is the bottom line. That's what you're saying crushing it i think is the bottom line yeah you're saying crushing it yep living my best life what about uh how's your love life yeah yeah got ghosted this week rude i know what like why is that a thing do you think because people are

too like chicken to be honest yeah I think that's what it is I mean I'm not going to lie I have ghosted people in the past and that's exactly why it was because I was too scared to have a conversation or send a text to end it.

Mainly because I fucking hate hurting people's feelings. Yeah. And don't want to do that to someone. But now having experienced being ghosted, it's so much easier and so much more humane just to send a text saying, you were really great, but I don't feel the connection. Ending it there. It ends it for you. It ends it for them.

There's no ambiguity around what's going on. And it's horrible doing it, but then once you've done it, case closed. On to the next. There's something to be said about closure, even if it's, like, not a good feeling. Right? Yeah, sure. Do you think that there's, like, different degrees of ghosting? Yes. there's like different degrees of ghosting yes it's one thing to be talking to someone kind of on an app yeah so i don't consider it ghosting if you're talking to someone and haven't met them

okay but i think if you've been on i guess even after like one date no I think if you've met them you should tell them what you're feeling what if so you've been on a date and you both kind of

maybe it's kind of clear to both people involved it's like oh this is okay and neither you or the other person like really follow up after that's not coasting me no because i've had that where just neither of us have reached out after the date and that's fine but if the other person reaches out and says do you want to go on a second date don't just fucking ignore them is that what happened to you or we met went on our first date went really well it's really cool um it was really funny really chilled um and then i said at the end it'd be cool to meet you again

okay so made your intentions known yeah he said I'll send you my number because we'd only been talking on the dating app sent him my number we were talking all week we're arranging a second date for the Saturday night um and then it got to Saturday and he messaged me and was like oh I'm really sorry my mates offered me tickets to a football game haven't been to one for ages so I'm gonna do that I was like no worries that's cool um and then just haven't heard since did you follow up with him at all? No. Oh, okay.

So he said that. You said it's cool. Check him with you later and then. But I like, yeah, I said it's cool. And then the next day like sent a message saying, you know, how was it? Okay. So you did communicate following that. Yeah.

And there's just been no response. Yeah, I would consider that ghosting and kind of shitty. Yeah. I mean, I'm not that fast. I only met the guy once. But it's just a no response yeah i would consider that ghosting and kind of shitty yeah i mean i'm not that fast i only met the guy once but it's just a bit like just like disrespectful and i'm a big believer in like respect but i also think that can be subjective for people and sometimes people think something's disrespectful and it's kind of like it's not really about respect you know what i mean but I think in this case it's it's like that is just well like you said it even if you didn't really know him that well like you responded there was a plan to meet up he changed the plans and you like reached out again it's just kind of it's

just kind of rude when it would have been like it's like you didn't want to see me again why when i sent him my number did you then bother texting me you could have just ignored me then maybe he died maybe it's a possibility i'm gonna go with that he's i think isn't that an episode of New Girl? Yeah, I think it is. Where she meets someone and they're supposed to meet up and she thinks she got ghosted and shows up at his house and it's like there's a funeral. A funeral going on. And his girlfriend's there. Yeah. That's like a really worst case scenario.

That's probably not likely. But I mean, it's possible. Could happen. R.I.P. sir. Yeah, bye. Well, that's too bad. I know dating is hard from what I've heard from other people too. And I've had some experience, but never had to do online dating really. It's terrible.

Yeah. There's just something. I think there's like pros and cons to it right like you can kind of get to know someone at a somewhat safe distance yeah um rather than like blind dates or awkward in person getting to know you but it makes it very easy and kind of like disposable i feel like that's the sense i get it's like people are kind of treated as disposable and i think it gives on the other side of the coin it people just a lot of people just use it for validation purposes the other side of the coin it people just a lot of people just use it for validation purposes rather than seriously dating they just like the dopamine rush of matching with someone and someone liking them yeah um and also it gives people too much choice yeah so even if you do meet someone and have a connection with them um it's apparently very common for people to think oh but you know what if my dream woman

is just around the corner there's like thousands of girls on this dating app and so i mean that's true regardless of whether there's an app there's thousands of people out there that you could meet i guess i i guess because it's like at your fingertips that's the difference you know that's it but that's frustrating because like you will always wonder that you know yeah and it's I it's so weird because like I in my 20s I mean I know it's different because I'm older now, but I didn't find dating hard. What's different, do you think? I guess maybe in your 20s as well, most people are still single, so it's kind of easier to meet people in real life. Probably more openness, too, or like less firm sense of what you might want like in your 20s were you probably i would i don't want to say lower standards because i don't

think that's fair no i think that is fair well okay i'll just say lower standards me too um but you you could probably deal with maybe someone who seems a little less stable or whatever. Yeah. And it's more about maybe the attraction because it's kind of like, well, I'm going to have to marry the guy. But I think as you get older and whether or not this is right or true for everyone, I think part of it is like, I, like I kind of am set in my life

this is my goal I want to find someone who maybe can like at least compliment that or like kind of be at the same level as me like if you want to go on a trip and the person you're dating is broke you know

yeah exactly but I think the prevalence of dating apps has gotten well i don't know you tell me when you're in your 20s you said you're meeting people more like out and about right yeah and now people don't even seem to talk out and about and i've heard that it's the same for people in their in their teens and 20s now because dating apps are the way people meet now which is crazy how long do you wait before you meet someone so it used to be when I started I didn't really know

what to do and it was fun talking to people online but now I have like a rule like speak to them for a couple of days if I'm into it ask them out for a drink so I should just waste so much time talking to people so you've made the decision I'll just that you'll just initiate it because like waiting for the other person is maddening sometimes, I'm sure. Yeah. You know, I'm a strong, independent woman. Well, does that help like maybe kind of force the other person to either acknowledge that maybe they're not into it, you know? Yeah.

Because they'll be like oh you know i don't really want to and it's like all right well i guess we don't need to talk anymore yeah exactly and i've had the same i'll be talking to them and then they ask me out and i'm like oh actually i don't know if i want to which again as i've gone on my my uh my swiping standards have gone up because that's the thing as well that I find really weird so like if you look at my exes like I wouldn't because I've met several I wouldn't have necessarily swiped yes on a dating app for them because I I don't go on looks

in real life I go off the personality and the connection and the chemistry but you have you cannot judge that on a dating app right so you have to go off their looks initially so in the beginning I was just like swiping yes to everyone I was like look he could be nice he could be nice oh my god I've got like fucking 20 guys that I need to stick a conversation to okay question then what sort of picture image or look would you be like that is an absolute hard no judging a book by its cover so someone who's actually too good looking okay um you know like you're typical chiseled like perfectly kept expensive looking clothes um someone that's at the gym pictures of them at the gym. Pictures of them at the gym. In England, a load of guys like taking pictures of themselves fishing and holding a massive slimy fish.

Oh, my God. That is true here, too. Is it? What? Why are they doing that? I don't know. I would have. That shocks me that that's true for you guys, though.

It really is. I thought that was just like a very kind of hillbilly American thing. No, they love it over here as well. Is it like this fish is like basically a euphemism for manhood? Or it's like, look how manly I am that I can go out and hunt for my own food. Baby, I can feed you in the wild. Don't worry. Exactly.

God, that is interesting, though. I wonder if there's something to that, if it's somehow... There's like this warrior slash provider kind of theme there. Do you know what I mean? Yeah.

Okay, but you're saying the fish thing is not something you would be interested in no it's not really not my vibe anyone that like seems to be materialistic other than over then that's other than um yeah I just try and try and look for like authentic profiles like let me tell you right okay the most so I'm on hinge where you you put your pictures up and then you have I think it's three prompts that you have to answer and I can tell you that 80 to 90% of the guys on there will use the same fucking three prompts. And these are the answers to them. So

one is, I will fall for you if and can you guess the response? You push me. Oh my god, really? That's not what I was thinking. Okay. I feel like in here it would be I'll fall for you if

and then it's probably a list of things you can't have or should have. Like big boobs, smart, blah blah blah. Good job. I obviously think it's really funny, but it's not. Because everyone puts it. Typical Sunday.

Lay in in the morning. walk sunday roast film in the evening like literally pretty much every profile says that uh what were the other ones oh um what i'm looking for someone that doesn't take themselves too seriously yeah no gold diggers no gold diggers yeah um what was the other ones I saw a post about it on Instagram it was so funny I was like yes yes yes like every single one I'll have to like poll my friends here and see if that's true because I have a couple friends who are on hinge and I've seen some screenshots of things. And I bet there are some differences in answers there, but I bet it's consistent amongst the men. I bet it is, yeah. I'll have a little look now and see if I can find some.

So question for you though while you're looking. Like if you see those answers, is that going to be an automatic skip for you? Not necessarily. answers is that going to be an automatic skip for you not necessarily because it is difficult when you're putting your profile together to try and come up with something original and if you're trying to be too unique that's almost like kind of obvious to and maybe a bit of a turn off yeah that's it but there are some really funny ones you can do like like voice prompts where they do like a voice note and one of them i went on and it was sort of you know an average looking guy

but then you had the voice one next click play and it was like here's some music for you while you scroll through my profile and then it's that careless whisper i love things like that it's pretty funny i mean that is pretty funny i think a good sense of humor would be something that i would appreciate yeah that's it so what, like, what are your prompts? Good. Okay. Well, you don't have to, like, be super specific, but if you can, if you want, maybe this will, maybe all of our listeners at home are going to be interested in that.

My prompts are, we'll get along if you're self-aware, easygoing, like being out in nature, and we can take the piss out of each other. Gotta have those bants, as we already determined. Bants. My simple pleasures are sunrises and sunsets, the sound of rain, being in nature, getting lost in a good book, music and singing, hiking, getting creative, long hot baths they're not so much anymore delicious food uh and then i've got a little neglected because i don't hear podcasting on that list oh yeah podcasting with kate talking shit with kate can you add that please that is on my bumble profile okay good um unusual skills doing accents winning thumb wars

and learning incredible facts and forgetting them almost instantly i am so glad you added accents on there because that is one of my favorite things about you oh good i just think they're and actually that's the most commented prompt that I get. So many guys seem to be like, oh, you'll never beat me at a thumb war. Oh, no. Okay. Alrighty. Well, remember, you do seem to attract the teenage boys. I attract the teenage boys and, like, the old men.

How old are we talking? Well, I mean, I've got my age. And like the old men. How old are we talking? Well, I mean, I've got my age. Top age is set at 41 or 42. 76? But honestly, I, yeah, in real life, I attract the old guys. Me too, to be honest. And I don't mean like a couple years older or 10 years older i'm talking like even like in their 70s is what i'm talking about yeah and honestly like the ones that are

a lot older are honestly a little more polite at least but i remember when i was in college and i was waiting tables and i like i was very mean to myself i was very cute when I was younger I don't know what happened It's just age and life I guess But this guy So I would have been like 21 maybe Like newly 21 And this guy must have been in his 50s And thought he Was well within his right

To try to get me to meet up with him after my shift And I'm like sir I didn't say this I thought it and I was honestly a little freaked out and I told him I meet up with him at whatever place and I didn't go he left me like a $50 tip which was nice but um I was just like sir I don't like your it makes me feel bad about myself that you think you have a shot with me does that make sense well funnily enough there's a guy I know at work who is I don't know his exact age he's got to be late 50s early 60s

and he's lovely but he's single and divorced and on dating apps and stuff and me and my one of my other bosses were sitting there going through his profile and likes and stuff. And he'd be like, oh, I really like her. And she'd be, you know, gorgeous, blonde, 25. And I was like, mate, no offense, but she's not going to be interested in you. You're, you know, late 50s, balding, like, you've got fake teeth. As in, like, you know.

And then we'd be like, look, she's really nice, in his age range, like, really pretty, you know. And he'd be like, nah, nah, I'm not into that, nah, nah. On to the next, oh, I really like her. No, she's 22. You can't have. She's not going to be interested, mate. Like he's it's like he's still stuck in his.

Like 20 year old mindset, if you know what I mean, still thinks he can get the same caliber of women. And I'm like, no, they're just they're not going to be interested, mate. Well, the reality is, like, I don't know if he's actually gone on a date or tried dating someone that much younger than him but like i think he would find that like the relationship probably isn't what he's looking for because of the sheer difference in life stage and like development and interest and like even if someone was like interested and dated him I think that that woman would eventually be like all right this isn't gonna like go anywhere because yeah I mean no offense to him like I want to have kids I want to have kids with someone who isn't going to be like in a care home when our kid's a teenager even and this is mean but i think i

don't honestly don't feel bad about the fact that men really do like leonardo dicaprio the joke now is like oh don't turn 25 because i can't date you anymore and it's just like god it's getting weird isn't it it's so bad yeah it's so bad and well my brother hey alex if you hear this my brother had dated a few girls when he was kind of like late 20s early 30s and he'd be talking to me about you know maybe the relationship ended or wasn't going great i'm like these girls are in an entirely different life stage than you and probably want to do entirely different things than you and so when they go out and do that and like maybe aren't spending time with you you can't get mad exactly and it's it's even just the like the cultural differences between you know millennials and and gen z's and what have you like they're in such a digital age that just like everything's so different like when i talk to the youngsters at

work like i'm just baffled by what they're even talking about half the time and it makes me feel super old yeah me too i've had to interview teenagers and i'm kind of like are you familiar with tiktok because i am they're like cool great yeah brilliant yeah okay well while we're on the subject of dating um i found this funny article where basically daters are sharing their most ridiculous exchanges they've had with their matches. Okay. I thought I should share some because they're really funny. Please do. And then I'll tell you like my one hilarious dating story.

Oh, yeah. I'm sure there's more, but this is the one that really takes the cake. I see. So these two have matched. And whoever this person is sent the first message said, I like your hair. And the second person

replied, thanks. I grew it myself. It's kind of like, hi i'm weird sorry about being weird but that's just who i am also very generic i don't know i mean i guess i appreciate the compliment but that's probably something i would say in response to be honest or i'd say thanks it's fake i'm actually real bald do you want to know what my opener is? Yeah I'm like hey Can I interest you in some mediocre conversation? You know what

Under promise and over deliver That's what I actually say Exactly I'm lowering their expectations And surprising them Exactly Does that work well um what it's really good at is getting a gauge on their humor because some guys come back and

they're like well it depends how mediocre it is i'm like okay it was meant to be funny so if you don't get it then bye bye. Yeah, that is actually good. That's a good test. Whereas other guys get it and they're like, oh, definitely, like, how's the weather where you are? Wait. And it also lowers the pressure of, like, having to come up with something really interesting

to say to people. They can just be like, how are you? What have you been up to? You're basically signaling to them that you can accept kind of that boring small talk of getting to know people rather than like you better wow me from the beginning yeah don't get me wrong small talk is boring as fuck but it's a requirement on dating apps you have to do it um okay here's another one so this guy guy's called Travis. And he's one of those guys that got his profile picture is a picture of his truck. He sent a message to someone saying, Hey, what's up? They've replied. What's it like being a truck?

he says what do you mean I'm not a truck lol they said profile pictures don't lie he says lol I have other pics but my truck sorry I have other pics than my truck but I do love my truck and they've said that's what a truck would

say love my truck and they've said that's what a truck would say oh my god that person should be oh this one's great there is one with kate actually i'll read that one in a minute um so the guy said damn are you even real? The girls replied, real and transgender. The guy said, what's transgender? They just replied, Google. They said, oh, so it's like a search engine. I can't tell if that's worse than someone who's just like immediately like negatively reacted to someone being trans. Like, is that worse?

I just don't think they had a clue what it is. Like, you're too dumb, so that's a problem for me too. Exactly. Exactly. Oh, where's the picture gone that's what a truck would say I need you to do that if you ever get someone messaging you I'm kidding 100%

for a picture this one's great so they've matched I don't know who's who but first person says words can't even describe how beautiful you are the other person said aww thank you

smiley emoji and the other person then replied saying but numbers can three out of ten oh the neg though i get the sense that maybe this person was just a jokester but yeah god i hate negs oh it's chris this one's great i wrote you a poem Do you want to hear it? You can hear it anyway. There once was a girl called who looks like who's sorry, whose looks could kill a machete.

I'm a little bit drunk and my rhyming is junk. Spaghetti. You know, good for him for thinking of a rhyme with spaghetti. I feel like that's something that trips people up. Yeah, I mean, Eminem, come on oh yeah true any response or blocked just said amazing

oh well don't hate on someone's art that's good I have been I've seen Tinder, Hinge, like OkCupid. I signed up for it once, like when I graduated law school and my friend Lauren and I were living together and she signed up because she was maybe like interested in doing some online dating. And I think OkCupid had like a friendship option. And I just met Sean at that point. So I wasn't like trying to date. But I was like, well, Lauren signed up. I'll sign up to see what's on there. Like I referenced her in my profile.

And I'm like, we're looking for friends, you know, blah, blah, blah. Well, of course, I only got dick pics. But that was not my story. There are no boundaries I've found, despite what you say you're looking for um but a lot of my like dating experiences are people that I met in person um and one particular story was a classmate of mine in law school we were in class together and I don't remember exactly what happened or how I think it was kind of like maybe he approached me about grabbing some dinner or a drink sometime and I wasn't really sure like if it was just like let's hang out because I try not to assume that it's like because they're

interested in me yeah versus just want to be friends but the reality is it's never that they just want to be friends but the reality is it's never that they just want to be friends I've learned that now um but I you know like I said I was didn't want to be arrogant I was a little insecure still I am but uh so we went out and his name was Trevor fuck it I'll just blow him up and he was fine like very muscular like not my usual type of guy that I've dated or ever been and I was a little bit like why are you talking to me like you are should be interested in like not me to paint the picture basically the opposite of me you know tall boobs blonde whatever but and I my friend Allison who you might remember she was one of she was our you know from law

school she joined and I think I asked her to join just because like I was like I don't know I'm kind of nervous like I don't really go on dates and just come whatever and I another friend of ours from law school her name is Jen was she also was like you need to go out with him he is hot tell me everything so I was like we get to the place um I'm kind of like texting Allison and Jen and also Trevor uh before we all like we end up getting together and we sit down and I'm talking to him and Allison's sitting next to me and just being kind of quiet because she's like I just realized I'm like on the third wheel on a date sorry Al um and I'm talking to Trevor and we're talking about law school and stuff. And he he made a comment that I was immediately like, oh, no, he's dumb.

No. Like we're talking about law clinic and, you know, classes and kind of just general things that he should know about being in law school. And he I think he was like, what's law clinic? And I was like, are you kidding me? The law clinic in our law school? And so that put me off. Because as much as I love to think that, like, a hot person is good enough, that's not really all that does it for me. Personality, you know, intelligence helps.

And so I grabbed my phone real quick and text like and allison was sitting right there so i didn't need to text her but i wanted to update jen on the date and i texted jen saying trevor might be an idiot and i put my phone down and went to the bathroom when i came back trevor was looking at his phone and I just happened to grab my phone and see that I did not text my friend Jen I texted Trevor I texted Trevor that Trevor might be an idiot

and I and Allison I think picked because he looked at me and was like, I'm not an idiot. And I was like, ha ha. I just was kidding. And Allison realizes what's going down and is like probably really trying to contain herself. I'm like melting into a pile of embarrassment because I also don't want to hurt people's feelings at least not while I'm sitting right in front of them

and I come up with some store I don't know what I think maybe just I think I even fessed up I was like dude you didn't know what clinic was I was just texting my friend, you know, and the date wraps up with him asking me out again. So he might be an idiot. He was definitely an idiot. Definitely an idiot. And I'll be honest, that is not the first time I've done that. I've done that so many times and so many different. I really need to pay attention.

I've done that so many times and so many different, I really need to pay attention, but I, I still talk about it with Allison and Jen sometimes because it's just like, like, I can't believe that happened. Fucking hell. That's amazing.

And, you know, later I learned that he was like engaged and his fiance lived like an hour away in a different town and maybe was pregnant. And I was just like, that guy's a douche. Yeah. So I don't feel any sort of sense of bad talking about his dumb ass on this podcast but he was

really hot so good for you yeah well done i mean this is a huge generalization but in my experience it's the hot ones that have zero personality they don't need to have a personality right i always like to joke i was an ugly kid so i had to develop a personality that doesn't mean it's a good one but i did i've got a personality yeah not a fucking piece of white toast i yeah and i realized that like he maybe he asked me out kind of purely for just like i just want like physical reasons to i don't know but it's just there's a a need to have like some shared interests and at least like yeah i guess i was so surprised that he was literally in law school with me and just seemed to know so little so but yeah it is the hot ones I think yeah sorry

hot people out there yeah including you Gemma I mean if you're offended by it then I mean take it as a compliment I guess oh god other than that I think probably most of my dates were people i ultimately ended up like kind of being serious with you know um i went on a date with a guy i worked with he was so nice and i just got real fucking drunk so that was short-lived but he was a nice guy and i feel kind of bad i don't think that was a good time in my life it was like bad breakup just happened and kind of in between boyfriends looking for a rebound I don't even know if I he asked me out and I was kind of like oh well like that makes me feel good and then I just proceeded to get real drunk on the date I was in college

it's kind of easily done though because it's a nerve-wracking situation and it's it is much easier just to get a bit drunk and then you feel full of confidence pretty sure i cried at one point and like the next time i saw him i was like i'm i'm sorry you're really nice if you want to go out again great i'd understand if you didn't and i think you know we hung out a couple times but it didn't really go anywhere, and I ended up getting into another relationship. Oh, my God. That's so good.

I once went on a date when I was younger, and the guy took me to the cinema, which initially seemed like a good idea, but it's the worst idea for a first date. I didn't know this guy at all. And so we had an awkward car journey to the cinema and then sat in silence for two hours. And then another awkward drive back.

I was like, that was fucking pointless. Before or after, at least somewhere where you can talk to each other. It was, yeah. So word of advice to people don't go to the cinema not for the first date do a dinner beforehand at least um but keep in mind if the dinner doesn't go well then you're going to be stuck with that person for another two hours exactly and that is the reason why i just go for a drink with people or a coffee because then if they're an idiot like trevor you can just make your excuses and leave

well gotta go so if you're stuck at dinner with someone who's terrible um and then you're stuck there for at least a couple of hours dating advice from jemma and kate who've been clearly very successful i mean you're married so yeah you know and do i do i think that's because it was long distance and so we were forced to talk the majority of those early days yeah that was probably a big part of it probably i mean i was engaged listeners so uh don't think i'm some kind of old spinster you know i have a proposal i think that you are catch too so if people are ghosting you then they're fucking lost yeah man i date you thanks oh good times write in your own stories for us to maybe dissect or read yeah make fun of or

sympathize with because i bet i bet i could come up with just like horror stories of relationship stuff too i mean i could talk about the time that i had to like get someone kicked out of law school because he was so obsessed with me really stalker yeah pretty much but another day i think that might be good for like the toxic masculinity day yeah that'd be good um i do want to know what this things you believed as a child like note is what is this about so I just thought we could have a conversation about like were there things that like you believed or thought as a child and then like didn't realize until you were an adult that it was bollocks or you had the complete wrong end of the stick

or you had the complete wrong end of the stick. I was a very smart child, so go on. So when we were kids, my dad told us that when he was a child, he was a guinea pig, and then he grew into a human. And I just did not question that i just believed it because he was really convincing like he was proper gaslighting us and that is the technical term but i was born i was a guinea pig and uh then i grew into a human i was like cool cool cool yeah yeah makes sense why not so when did you have the realization that didn't happen? That wasn't true? I reckon probably about 15. Yeah. Yeah.

Hold on. I don't think that's necessarily true, is it, Dad? Okay. And did you go tell your little friends, like, after you learned that that that your dad was a guinea pig when he was born like i don't think i did no because it was just like oh that that must happen to everyone's dad yeah that's fair for years i just assumed my my dad was a guinea pig as a child i i think so i have similar, but almost kind of the opposite. My parents very much didn't, I'm not sure why. I want to say, like, they didn't want to perpetuate lies or maybe just didn't want to bother with it but like I and my brother got told basically as soon as we could have like a comprehension of it that there was no Santa Claus no Easter Bunny no Tooth Fairy none of that none

of that fun stuff right and fine like we still got Christmas and like we got money when we lost teeth and we still got like candy on Easter and all of that and I think I mentioned last time that I couldn't do Halloween um yeah we still got candy and got to do fun stuff but like they just and I do think it was probably just like my parents couldn't be bothered to like carry on the lie yeah like do the work that was entailed for that sort of thing which you know I kind of don't blame them um but what happened was i then went to daycare and told everyone the kids there that there's no santa claus and like the poor woman who was the daycare provider like had all these distraught children who were like upset because katie k is saying there's no santa claus and there is isn't there and

destroyer of dreams yeah and she so she had to like do something so she put me in time out for lying which like i get she had to like preserve this for all these kids you know because like the parents who knows like what they wanted to do with that and so I had to like get and put in time out which was very confusing for me I'm sure because I'm like I'm not lying though and like okay and then she had to tell like I had to put Kate Katie in time out for saying my mom's like well you know there is no Santa Claus and I'm sure the daycare provider was just like yes but it's not fair for these other kids like have some sympathy there and I don't think like my parents really anticipated that so not quite the same but I think in terms of like a

thing that I thought was true for all families yeah I think there's lots a just growing like growing up and having traditions that I think all families do right like I think all families maybe I can't think of an example but they're and then you get older and you say something to your friends and they're like wait what no that's not a thing we do you know that's not a thing we do everyone does that everyone does that yeah yeah i think there's lots of i've seen lots of good stories about that too um just like oh yeah my my parents were big on doing x and it just seemed like a really normal thing and then one day i talked about it at school and my mates were like that's really weird

i'll have to think of some for next time because I don't know. I know you guys obviously have like father Christmas and stuff, but I am curious to know like the emphasis that is placed on childhood there, because that was kind of one of the things I wanted to talk about, but more in terms of what was your perspective of the U S and like U S culture and living when you were a kid based on probably what you saw on tv and stuff like that and i'll tell you about mine someday but i think that

it's just interesting to know because you guys have father christmas and your different traditions there and what we do here yeah that'll be good we'll do a deep dive we'll talk about the holiday traditions for respective homelands that i didn't get to celebrate but i certainly am familiar with i've heard all about it great well is there anything else you'd like to talk shit about today Kate I think that I do want to talk just a quick cap of something that really grinds my gears is society just I'm sorry as a whole yep everything is frustrating and like the politics of things going on over here is frustrating I need to I need to do like detox from the news sometimes because I'll see stuff

and it's just so horrifying like you told me last time the ozone layer is healing which was like a nice thing but then I see something like Texas woman stabs her five children and three die because she had an unsupervised visit that she wasn't supposed to have and blah blah and i'm just like oh my god the best thing you can do for your mental health is to stop reading the news i'm telling you i stopped i think it was like midway through the covid lockdowns because i was just like getting serious anxiety about everything like fucking everyone's dying like the fucking climate's falling apart we're all gonna burn to death like just everything it's just one thing after another and they do it on purpose because it's clickbait

and people react to bad news more than good news but i was like i just can't i can't take this amount of bad shit every day and so i i don't read news apps anymore very rarely occasionally jump on one and i don't know anything that's going on people are like oh my god have you heard about blah blah blah and i'm like nope and i don't need to know it doesn't affect me like interesting i was just gonna ask do you feel like you're like there's ever stuff that like you should be like kind of kept up on and you're missing out or like do you have a way of kind of getting the important stuff like I guess weather events right you know those are yeah but um and I guess you know some stuff does filter

through on like social media and things um yeah like really you know big like the war in ukraine and you know i'm obviously aware that that's happening but i don't know details about it kind of like maybe i should maybe as society it is our responsibility to know that information. But I just know personally it's helped my anxiety and mental health like immeasurably. Not reading the news. Yeah, I think I think you're right. My therapist recommended that I at least take a step away. Like I couldn't I was so glued to the news when pandemic hit and

then George Floyd getting murdered like I couldn't stop and then I am I'll see something about climate change and like all of those problems and it will make me like doom spiral yeah a little bit and it's hard and so I think I at least need to benefit I could benefit from taking breaks from it sometimes um and I gotta be better about that to be better about that because it will keep me awake. Yeah, that's it. Yeah, it's... It's not fun. Maybe I should get into yoga, like you.

You should, yeah. We could do a yoga podcast. Okay, we'll do like a meditation station. And gently close your eyes. How do you do that gently? Jenna? I need more specific instructions. I already told you I don't know how to do anything relaxing, so you're going to have to be real specific step by steps.

Do you go for like massages or anything? No. like step by steps. Do you go for like massages or anything? No. I had them. And I think the fact that I keep being told to relax when I think I am to be so frustrating. Plus just like having strangers touch me is not super fun,

but it's just so many times it was like, relax your shoulders. They are. And they're like here. You can't see me but they're up to my ears people at home and it's just like i i don't know if i know how to or i think i am and then the pressure like the concern that i'm not is overwhelming yeah i think charlie's like that she doesn't like doesn't like other people touching her and can't relax when in such a situation well i think charlie and I probably are cut from the

same cloth and that we're just kind of a little bit tightly wound people maybe yeah but she's found her own kind of I assume like the stuff she does with like strength training and stuff has been probably a method of relaxation for her which that's her release I think when I was training for the marathon I found a lot of like that was the only's her release I think when I was training for the marathon I found a lot of like that was the only time I could really kind of shut my brain off and focus on the thing I was doing which was wow this really sucks I have a long way to run but I wasn't thinking about other things so I know a lot of people that use running as their meditation yeah if only it wasn't so hard yeah you just have to find that thing that

stops you thinking so much yeah yep well if I drink enough I feel great yep everything's great well as always it's been a pleasure talking shit with you about life and love and people

beautiful we have so much to talk about for next time too so tune inics coming out of our ears, baby. So many. I mean, just to give you a highlight. Guns. Beans. Some more current topical local events from Gemma's Neck of the Woods and also mine. And, you know, ways to give Americans an authentic UK experience because that's the most important thing is making it about me. But kind of on the flip side, I want to talk to you about one day coming when it's the Minnesota State Fair and making you eat all the things. And I'm going to tell you about the foods and you're going to tell me if you'd eat it or not.

Okay. I'm up for hearing about that. Yeah. Noice. Noice. Well, let's sign off. Ta-ta. Toodaloo.

Pip pip to Rio. I'm Gemma. Okay. Goodbye. I'm Kate. That was terrible. Beender. What's that That was terrible. Beander. What's that? Beander?

Beander. That's how Sean does my accent. Because I apparently, I must say that all the time. Beander pants. That's me. Pants. Was that good? Yes, perfect. You nailed it. Give me a phrase to say. I'm going to learn your accent.

Okay. Let me think of one. Let me think of one. I hope this I hope this email finds you well. I hope this email finds you well. I think that sounded really good. The thing is, is that that's what I actually sound like. I am so upset though but I get it like I think we I do and we do kind of have this um not a lilt but like a multivocal fry nasal but also kind of a valley girl quality even though we where I'm from the dialect we have here is not like oh my god or hey y'all you know but there's still like a blend of those things yeah so I know it's in your accent like I don't know if they're Minnesotan Minnesotans yeah Minnesotan um there's some things you say now

where it sounds almost like a little bit canadian well and frankly i think that's true even kind of in the in iowa and south dakota like because we're a little bit more north um but yeah i guess you mean like oh sorry yeah sorry i mean you don't sound like that you don't sound like it's just a little twang every now and then oh god oh god that's all about the booty yeah oh god i think there are and there are people here who are real minnesotan and i hear it and i'm like lucian and i will hear myself say something i'm like oh i've only lived here for like six years oops it runs off oh that's another thing i want to talk about at some point is how we have in the uk such crazy different accents for such a small landmass it's true and that'll be your time to demonstrate all your accents

that you can do. I love it. That's what I'll do. I do think there's some similarities though because we have not as many, but we have kind of these four or five, like there's the southern, the west coast, east coast,

north, right? And then there's like maybe sub pockets of accents too but you can kind of like we have the texan which is also the southern and then but maybe one's like a little more texas and the other one's like oh aren't you sweet bless her heart and i don't know if i could pinpoint the differences, but... Get off the roof, Cletus! Yep. Ma, my shotgun. Pitch my shotgun. And those are easier to mimic, too, because they feel a little bit more extreme.

Yeah, for sure. But I just... It's like the, in inverted commas, normal American accent that I think is the hardest to do. And yours, which is, I guess, the well, I don't know if you'd call it this, but yeah, like posh-ish.

Yeah. Which I used to think meant like London, but London's actually quite, it's almost like valley-ish. And there's quite a diverse range of accents in London, depending on your class. Yeah, that's the other thing too.

Yeah, like say the really posh people speak like that. And like everything's like, oh my God, like I can't even believe it. But then you get like road men, as they call them these days, which are like proper like rude boys and like, you know, live down in the ends. You're like, you're my fam and everything's like abbreviated. Dirty Rascal sounds like that, right? Yeah. Yeah.

I think I've heard his music and that's kind of what his accent sounds like. Yeah. Or Dizzy Rascal? Dirty Rascal. Yeah. Sorry. Yeah. Dizzy Rascal. My bad Yeah. Or Dizzy Rascal? Dirty Rascal. Yeah, sorry. Yeah, Dizzy Rascal. My bad.

Sorry. Dizzy Rascal. Yeah. But then there's like Adele, whose accent is really. Yeah, that's Cockney. Yeah. So that's really like apples and pears. Upstairs. Upstairs, mate.

I'm Adele, I sing like a fucking songbird. That was kind of Liverpoolian wasn't it my bad alright we can't blow our load on the accents on this episode because that's probably going to take an hour so see you next week thank you for listening

thank you for talking with me too it's been an absolute pleasure, my friend. And thank you to all our three listeners who've joined us this week. Thank you, Sean. Shout out. We'll be back next week with more shit to talk about. Come with your best shit, Gemma. Come with my best cack

please bring it all right goodbye bye We'll see you next time.