Talking Shit with a Yank & a Brit - 29. Man Chowder

Episode Date: October 12, 2023

This week we're talking menstrual cups, the Russell Brand allegations, Kevin Spacey and (trigger warning) sexual assault. We also have a unexpected guest join us and TWO AITA conundrums!Apologies for the sound this week, we're still learning what the hell we're doing 😂Join the debate by emailing your thoughts to [e-mail] or contact us @TSYBPOD on socials!!

hello welcome back to talking shit with a yank and another yank and a brit and i got kathy in the same room as me reunited and it feels so good now we're back together is that the rest of the song because i didn't know that that was uh Kylie Minogue and Jason Donovan I think oh I didn't I didn't know that so as promised from our last episode we are together and you guys it took us about 45 minutes to figure out how we're gonna do this in the same room you'd think it'd be simple but it's not not only that, but we have a special guest. The one, the only, Levy. My cousin Levi. That's not my name.

It is Levi though. It is Levi. That is correct. I'm happy to be here. Happy to be in the UK, spending time with friends and family. Say more. More. He's also our number one fan so huge huge fan you might have disrupted my mom for that spot she stopped listening after the tarot episode

um so levi was just gonna sit in here and watch like a creep and we decided to actually just incorporate him and see how this goes also should we should we be honest we've been drinking a little a little a little bit I've had a couple beers Gemma's having a glass of wine now so we'll see how it goes yeah yeah you know maybe shit we'll still publish it baby oh yeah bye bye oh okay so let's talk about since the last episode have you been what have you been up to um i've been very well i what have i been up to um i can't remember what i did yesterday um you came over and hung out with us for a minute i did that yeah you guys were very tired yeah le, Levi disappeared and fell asleep. Levi fell asleep on the toilet.

As well does. Found him on the bed and he's like, oh my god, it's been a half an hour. I just thought it was going to be a few minutes. I blinked and I fell asleep. That's jet lag for you. Also, probably like 12 hours worth of traveling. I had a good solid 15 hours i drove from omaha i drove from where i lived to where you live and then we flew so a good five hour drive followed by a good 10 hour flights it was fun yep yep good time heck of a

journey yeah it is are you feeling better now yeah i feel I feel good. I feel great. I got a couple drinks in me. It's beautiful here. Yeah, the sun's out. It's October, but we've got like 22 degrees Celsius. 20 degrees. Yeah. And the Yanks are over here. Yanks abroad, mate. Whoa, get the music.

Turn shit up. But we chatted last Sunday because I did your tarot reading. And so you had a week. I had a week. I had a week, yep. I don't know what I did. I just blacked it out. Yep.

Repressed. I worked, I think. Yeah, me too. What did I do on the weekend? Well, it's Monday, isn't it yeah it is monday i don't know what you did this weekend you had a gig oh i had a gig i had a gig i had a gig yep uh yeah we did a charity gig in brighton nice um we're raising money for uh one of our band members friends who unfortunately has been diagnosed with serious cancer and so we're raising money for his family good um it was really good we raised a lot of money and it was really

cool just get under my trousers just unbutton them yeah it's fine i would too if i had a button are they stretchy they are they are a little stretchy soft, you did have a button. Are they stretchy? They are. They are a little stretchy. Soft pants. Oh, soft pants. You know. I feel like because we talked about it, I can talk about my menstrual cup adventure that I went on. Please share. So I think, I don't remember what. Oh, that was a big breath.

You're going to have to cut that out. We talked about it on one of the episodes, kind of like periods and menstruation and tampons and that a couple people I know and love do menstrual cups. And my period decided to just show up right before we flew. And I was like, that's going to be a bitch. And so I went out and got a menstrual cup. And I don't know if it's for me. You have to get very familiar with yourself yourself which in all my 30 plus years I

have avoided um turns out I'm afraid of my vagina a little and uh it's it's a lot and I've I thought I was gonna have to go to the hospital yesterday or today actually because I was like this baby isn't gonna come out on its own. It's going to need some assistance. Wow. I did get it out. But I suspect I'm hearing my friends, Lauren in particular, saying you just need some practice. You'll be good at it eventually.

The thing is, it is shaped like a plunger. And you have to put it up a crevice. Yep. So. And it does need a suction. So pulling it out is going to be a tricky thing to do. I'll spare the gory details of it. No, share them.

So you have to kind of go up into the canal and pinch. Do we have a canal? The vaginal canal, Gemma. The vaginal canal. The virginal canal. Oh, do you have a problem with this Levi no that's a beautiful thing and you have to pinch it to get the suction to stop and it is it is just really hard to do yeah because again apparently I'm afraid of I'm afraid of it well yeah i mean i've only ever used applicators yeah for tampons because i don't want to i'm not going up there exactly like maybe they

need to make an applicator remover for the cup yeah because like like a plunger oh boy this is going to be our highest rated episode yet. I can already tell. I can tell already. So I just, I think it's good because it was good to have on the plane. Otherwise, I was going to be going to the bathroom a lot. Tiny. I'm scared of bathrooms. What's tiny? You're tiny.

I'm a very small, just little baby. No, bathrooms on airplanes are tiny and also I hate flying so if I can just stay in the one seat that I'm in and pretend I'm not there do you also bring one of those like catheter bags I don't need to I can go a long time I'm like a camel yep I just I just hold it hold it lovely lady lumps we got yep exactly that's why i have a hump back um but i yeah also the birthing hips right say it tell them the birthing hips that's where you store it i don't like the idea of it suctioning as you area shouldn't be suctioned. I agree. But you can leave it in for 12 hours. Oh, that's good.

And I think it's probably better for you than the tampons, which we know now don't hold as much as they said because they use literal water when they're doing the studies. Yeah. And they also give you toxic shock syndrome. Fragrance. Not to mention the trees that are involved in making them. Yeah. Environmental impact. And also

you're not meant to flush them down the toilet but a lot of people do that and then it clogs up all our drains. So I don't. I learned that a long time ago and do not anymore unless I'm at somewhere that I, like if I hate the person I might. I have a gross story about that. Please say more okay so once i lived in a flat in brighton

and uh i had an en suite in the room i rented and i at the time didn't realize that you were meant to flush tampons down the toilet and i flushed it down the toilet but it wasn't connected to a proper jane it was a macerator toilet where it just churns everything up uh and then shortly after the toilet broke so we got our plumber friend to come around and have a look and he was like basically what you've done is you've put a tampon down the toilet and it no i didn't no i didn't i haven't done that i don't my period and he took the thing apart and opened it and he was like basically we need to get that out he's out but I'm not fucking doing that because I'm your friend and you're not paying me for this

he wasn't even my friend he was my boyfriend's friend at the time and so I had to put the macerator in the bath and I had to put some rubber gloves on get the shit out of the shit no

used tampons it was the grossest thing i've ever done it was fucking rank yeah don't do it yeah don't do it even if you have really good plumbing like we do in the states because i've heard stories about just like the stuff that happens when you do that so i don't and i was joking where i don't even if i don't like the person because it really can just throw it in their face yeah yeah i just leave it on the side instead no it's bad but i think that's the thing is like no one ever when i started my period it's not like anyone told me don't do that no they're meant to be in fact on the box it's like don't flush the applicator don't flush the plastic wrap but you can flush the tampon yeah

so that's what it says it's also those um flushable like bathroom wipes oh yeah that are meant to be able to be flushed you can't flush those you really can only flush your waist and i guess a little toilet paper yeah probably shouldn't even be flushing toilet paper no probably not really but i'm not putting that in the bin. God. Can you imagine? No. I would, you would just need like a industrial sized wastebasket

in your bathroom, I suppose. One of the diaper, diaper. I was just about to say that. I have a litter genie because I'm not kids. But yeah,

it seems like that would be the best option. Or we'll just start using litter trays. Yeah, you know what? That's a good point get a poop scoop it you know in america they give uh kids toilet uh to use the toilet in the if they if a kid refers to themselves as cat identify as a cat the schools will provide them no way i do think that's a myth it is a myth but there are people that believe it because like one news station reported it and all of a sudden now there's litter boxes in every corner of a school. There is not.

I haven't seen it in all the schools I go into anyway, so. And I go into a lot. And education doesn't provide anything for kids, so why would this be the special case? Oh, exactly. There's, good point. It's like they don't provide. Books? An actual education they don't even provide writing tools why the fuck would they provide a litter box to a kid that identifies as a cat you're not gonna even get lunch at our schools

in america so god well it's gonna be a really divisive episode. Let's go back to the cup. Oh, yeah. Okay. So anyway, the cup, my cup is good for 10 years. And also, apparently, every time you buy one, it gives one to a girl in need somewhere. Oh, that's nice. So there is like a nice component to it. But like I said, it just might not be for me.

But it got me through 12 hours of traveling. Good. Okay. Well, next time I travel, I'll consider using one. No, I have been meaning to try it, but I just... They look quite big as well. What does it sound like when it comes out? It doesn't sound like anything.

There's no noise other than the sigh of relief when I wasn't going to die with a menstrual cup in. God. But... I wonder if people have lost them. Because I had to Google to be like, am I going to die? And it's like, you will get it out. You just need to fucking calm down. Is that what Google said? Yes, pretty much.

You just need to fucking calm down. And so it's like, OK, I am going to just go to bed and try it again in the morning. But so they have two different sizes. And I made the unfortunate mistake of not paying attention to the first size and that was also a problem so i had to go get another one that was smaller so you have to measure your vaginal cavity before you go the one case where the size does matter i learned that from my friend allison whose sister uh works for a company that

makes them and like tests them and apparently vagina vault is a phrase that those companies use and yes you're right Levi size does matter it's the size of your vagina vault and not the size of like your flow or whatever have you seen those videos of people interviewing men I think it was when all the uh oh like abortion stuff yeah and they're going around interviewing men about like tampons and stuff and they're like what do you think all the different size tampons are for and they're like the size of the vagina i have a wide set vagina and heavy flow exactly well i think one was like big like a loose vagina or something like that right like big massive slut no no it's a muscle so muscle and a bone structure more or less yeah if anyone's

wondering it's for your flow however your flow is yep but even recently like i was saying earlier like a study came out showing that they aren't as absorbent as they originally claimed and a big part is because the study didn't even use actual blood they just used water well that's stupid yes it is very stupid and so when you saw the commercials with the blue water that's because that's actually what they were using as their study fucking hell yeah and the amount of chemicals that are in them too so that's what's actually giving us toxic shock yeah exactly i used to be so paranoid about that one yeah me too but they didn't tell me about that. I had to read it in like teen Cosmo about a girl who died. We have it in our like little pamphlet that comes with it.

Oh, you read that? Yeah, I did read it once. Well, we can't read in America as you heard, so. We also don't provide sex education. We talked about that. You're right. So Levi's face was pretty horrified just now when we were talking about some of that. It's mostly the studying.

Like, I didn't know that they were using water. Because I understand it as like a blood clot or like something that's thicker or heavier. It's tissue. Yeah, it's like a tissue. It's the lining of your uterus that's shedding itself. It's not. Tell me more because I don't know much about it. Where is my cervix?

The cervix is the back part of the. That's right. It's like if I was to stick my fingers all the way in and I touch the back, that's the cervix the cervix is the back part of the the it's that's right it's like if i was to stick my fingers all the way in and i touch the back that's the service right i don't know you're genuinely asking you don't even stick your fingers please cut so much of this out right now i had to have a conversation with my friend who was very into it. And she's like, now make sure it's like above or below your cervix. And I go, what does that mean? How do I know?

And she's like, I don't really know what else to tell you. I don't think it's that far back. All right. Everyone's Googling right now. I'm going to describe this. Levi got his phone. Gemma got her phone. And they're Googling, where is my cervix right now?

Where's Kate's cervix? Where's Kate's cervix? It's like the middle. Yeah. You have the vagina. So apparently, well, when she said it was behind, go make sure it's behind it. I didn't know if she meant behind here or behind there.

Ew. Push it. Push it. Ew. There's no way that looks normal. I didn't need them to make sure. That's cervicitis. Oh, it looks like mucus.

Yeah. Yeah. Ew. Bodies are weird, y'all. So where do you need to put it? Underneath your cervix. So I think it, I think what,

it gets suctioned at least to the cervix, at least, so that, because that's where the blood's coming from. So if it's not set right, you're going to have leakage. This sounds far too complicated.

It is. Right. Can we have someone from a salt company somewhere we need you guys to talk shit to us at gmail because we don't know our own bodies it is around the cervix so when you you slide the cup in it kind of goes around the sides of the cervix and that's the suction that's how you get the suction so you're gonna kind of push it in you know like a pop socket that's a cervical cap yeah that's why i was having so much trouble because like that's how i had to like pinch it so that means i had to have three fingers no no that's not for me i don't think three fingers isn't bad okay as someone who doesn't have a vagina I don't think you could actually decide that. You know, I think today the question is, we have so many things to talk shit about, but

I think we're going to talk about sexual predators. Yeah? My favorite. Yeah, we thought we would talk a little bit about what's been happening with Russell Brand. For those of you who don't know, Russell Brand is, He was in... I'm forgetting.

Sarah Marshall. He's a comedian. Yeah, so before he went to America, he was a well-known comedian over these parts. And actually, it's funny. I'll talk about it more later, but his content was very sexually orientated and quite grotesque in some places. But at the time he just thought it was really funny because he's Russell Brand and that's what he does. He's got funny hair and wears tight trousers, so it's fine. Yep.

He married Katy Perry for a brief period. Yep. Now he's married to a woman called Laura Gallagagher he's got two kids one on the way related to the gallagher brothers at all no okay but her sister is kirsty gallagher and she's into like spiritual shit and astrology that would explain his transformation huh possibly because he was very i think like forgetting sarah marshall was probably my first introduction to him and he was a musician in that movie yeah and i very much like that seemed kind of like his thing because he's skinny jeans long hair kind of rocker

vibe but he was he was not a musician no comedian comedian also dirty comedian heroin addict sex addict sex addict um and he used to be on before he was like doing stand up he did loads of sort of late night shows not like talk shows but like naked attraction no which is on HBO max now for us oh is it fantastic

you can all watch that then I mean I've already seen it all I'll binge that one day I don't have to watch it on YouTube but basically watch that then yeah well i mean i've already seen it all but i'll binge that one day yeah i don't have to watch it on youtube um but basically the whatever like after kids go to bed type tv right yes so it's recently come out um via a channel 4 documentary investigative series that there has been allegations made against him by i think it was four previous partners who have said that he uh sexually assaulted them in one way or another yep now one as young as 14 or 15 at the time. Yeah.

At the time. At the time, yeah. So this was years ago. Because she's an adult now, I think. That's it. And, you know, she said that at the time she didn't realize that she was being groomed. But it certainly seems that way now that she's an adult and is able to reflect on what happened. an adult and is able to reflect on what happened like if i remember what i read correctly she was maybe her parents told her she couldn't see him because she told her parents and he sent

a car to her school and told her to leave school and she did yeah it was one of those situations like when you're that age it all seems very exciting and you know I'm so cool and mature this older man likes me yeah this older man likes me and he's you know booking me taxis to take me places and I think they met shopping oh yeah

she was at the mall and he approached her and he's like you're gonna wear this dress on a date and her mom was like absolutely not because you're a child

and so then he's like well I'll just pick you up at school then yeah yeah he sent her to her school to pick her up at school then yeah yeah he sent her car to her school to pick her up and she went because why wouldn't you can't say i wouldn't go this was in 2006 as well so yeah basically when we were in school yeah damn um but it sounds like he was quite um he liked the control aspect of it and persistent yeah and it was it was a consensual relationship

and she admits that on on the documentary but she was a child yeah but she was a child and then it kind of progressed into other stuff so she gave an example of one time they were at his flat and he ran her a bath and then he had to go out and he said i want you to stay in this bath and you need to be there when i come back you cannot move and she said she sort of did for a little bit and then was like it's really cold in here i'm gonna get out of the bath like so she got out and then when she heard him come back in and got back in the bath and not even like i thought you you were kidding, so I'm out now. Yeah. God.

So she thought he, yeah, meant it. Exactly. And it shows the kind of fear surrounding it. There are other examples of, there was like an actress in America when he came over to America who, I think she worked with him. She was like a writer or a producer I can't really remember to be honest She was on a set though Yeah and they were like quite good friends

And then Went to his apartment one night Or something and he basically Drapped her Yeah and tried to Have sex with her and she was like no Fuck off She managed to get out

and run out and she said there were other colleagues outside that worked with them both and could hear what was going on because she was screaming and stuff and they didn't do anything about it or didn't say anything because that's just what russell would like and she said she's actually been approached by people, those guys since, or one of the guys since, that have said, you know, I really regret not doing anything. That night we heard what was going on and we didn't do anything. And I think it was Katy Perry also said,

after the allegations became public, that she had a feeling like it would come to fruition eventually, but had never mentioned anything before that. Yeah, she said something cryptic about, like, I knew everything would come to light at some point. Because I'm guessing that was probably when they were together, or maybe even, like, how he was with her during their relationship. So the other two women were women that were in a relationship with him, but that he raped them whilst they were in the relationship.

They said no. And they both described him, his eyes going blank or dark and something coming over him. And they just couldn't get through to him. And he did what he did. And then extremely apologetic afterwards or the next day and what have you. he did and then extremely apologetic afterwards or the next day and what have you um so yeah i mean god knows how many other women because he was known to be a ladies man and promiscuous promiscuous yeah i think he was an alcoholics anonymous as well well i think his big thing was that he was very open about his addictions and his recovery and so and his sex life he won shagger of the year twice in one of our national newspapers it was just like a joke award but he was celebrated for it over here he was you know the celebrity shagger of the year he

went around shagging everyone and that was i don't think it was about like someone being an excellent lover it was more just like this person is known yeah to be promiscuous right so i think that i wonder if for those people who are maybe in relationships with them if he was able to kind of be like i'm sorry it's my past And I don't know what came over me. And I'm in recovery. And it was just a one-off. And I will never do it again. And I love you. And I'm so sorry.

You know? And like that was kind of his way of being able to keep them. And emotional manipulation. Yeah. And that's what abusers do, isn't it? I'll change. It'll never happen again. Because I think the question is, given maybe how long ago some of

this occurred it's like why now right and also it's hard to fucking talk about this like we i could i could pull up some stats about how many act how many sexual assaults actually get reported how many actually get arrested how many actually go to trial and how many actually get acquitted and like the way that victims are treated even when it's not a celebrity situation and it's difficult to talk about that kind of stuff you know and so especially when they're you know rich and exactly could hire fucking ridiculous there's lots of power there and so people don't report that stuff so i think anyone asking like why now well it's hard to talk about um and but the other thing the interesting thing about this story or this case is is his response to it so yeah so he's released a couple of videos on Instagram.

So he's very much into the wellness scene now. And, you know, he's a very spiritual person. He even puts on like a wellness festival over here. Into meditation and yoga and all that. And he's released these videos where he's also very much into talking about like big pharma big media very covid he had a lot of thoughts about covid yeah didn't he um a lot of things like that and he seems to be now using that as an excuse so he's saying that these allegations are big media's way of shutting him up of exposing what they do um but the videos he's you know staring directly down into the camera his eyes are wide open he's using the body language it's like a mind control

yeah very leader of a cult vibe yeah very much so it's interesting because i just it is such a convenient excuse right and there's enough people out there based like we talk about conspiracies on a couple episodes ago and because we know that sometimes media doesn't get it right and there are you know there's slant and bias in media and there are certain organizations that maybe don't publish things that are fully factual and it's such a convenient excuse and i think this is true in any time there's kind of like a he said she said scenario of they're just mad because i broke up with them yeah they were just and they're embarrassed because they were drunk and they consented and like they felt ashamed like very much a shaming

place that he could i think he knew he could be like this is just big media trying to shut me up for telling the truth because the video you showed us jemma was like oh tni trusted news whatever trusted news collective or i can't remember the acronym is um but it was tni so in bc i'm so dumb um anyway oh but it was like trust anything that says trusted in it you should automatically know you shouldn't like put your trust in and i like i agree with that right like just because someone says you can trust me uh you shouldn't immediately be like, yeah, okay. But people do, right? And people trust things that aren't mainstream because they think everything's like got an agenda, which is why we see some of the stuff with Trump and Trump saying it's just big media trying to make people not like me, but I got my people. So don't trust the news. You know, it's weird because if i'm completely honest when i first heard it my initial thoughts because of his persona and how yeah he is known as a promiscuous person and

that's how he was i was like they're probably just exaggerating you know he's just he was always a very sexual person and they're probably just trying to get the money and then the documentary came out before the criminal proceedings which i know we've talked about some sometimes that's how it needs to be my initial thoughts were it's going to be very difficult to have a fair trial now it's so loud in the news it's going to be very difficult to find anyone that's not heard of what's happened it's not the criteria though no because we had the same thing with george floyd and having it held in the same county where he was murdered and i mean they did it a little differently than they normally would people were sent out surveys rather than being pulled in and then basically told but people were sat down and they're like i will listen to the evidence i can listen to the evidence because there's nowhere we could go in the country who had

heard about what happened to george so there was literally nowhere and so it's like we're going to present evidence yeah and you can listen to it and make a decision based on that and people are people are either able to say yeah i think it could do that or i don't think i can and so um i don't know i assume it's probably similar here maybe yeah i think you have to to a certain extent prove that you don't have a biased opinion towards it how they prove that i don't know i've never done jury questions yeah trust just like i mean judges have to assess credibility of witnesses all the time and so some of it just comes down to someone saying yes or no i can't yeah because just as many people who are maybe trying to get on a jury there's people trying to get off who are like i hate cows and i hate the police and i hate women just because

they don't want to serve you know so but the interesting thing is is it's not a bad point of like it would be easier to not have that media influence but the police don't investigate sexual assault no that's very true but yeah the point i was making is that his image i'm russell brand baby i'm kind of aggressive sex perv yeah and like i'll be honest i quite fancied him when really younger yeah i did like i thought he was cool you like that dirty sticky look i do yeah kind of dirty skagged look who doesn't I did like a band member as well back in the day. But it's that image that initially made me question it. And it wasn't until I watched the documentary and watched the evidence that these women were given.

And not only that, they also had people that knew him that gave not accounts of them knowing about sexual assault incidents, not accounts of them knowing about sexual assault incidents, but just how he was back then and, you know, the way he acted towards certain people. It really changes your view on it. And I was like, oh, shit. I thought one thing about this story that might be interesting to talk about is we've heard time and time again about men in power who've taken advantage of that power i mean we have harvey weinstein

and we have um kevin spacey well i was gonna yes i was leading to that levi thank you but there was um larry nasser the gymnast doctor who basically sexually assaulted all of his gymnasts like there's time and time again examples of these people who put themselves in positions where they have access and can get away with it because of the position they're in, the vulnerability of their victims.

One thing we don't hear that much about though is like marginalized communities and in particular like you said, Kevin Spacey, who I think is probably one of the only of the kind of level of people who get accused of these things that is more of an LGBTQ blend. Correct. So, and he's now living as a gay man, which is just sort of offensive, because he came out before that right like kevin

spacey came out before the allegations came out i don't believe so i think it was after the allegations came out uh so kevin spacey was originally faced with a total of seven counts of sexual assaults three counts of indecent assaults and two counts relating to non-consensual sexual activity a A year after being granted unconditional bail, he appeared in London's South Wark Crown Court. So it happened in England? Yes, it did happen in England. This was on June 28th, and having pled not guilty on all 12 charges against him, a week ahead of the verdict. That number dropped to nine thanks to legal technicality.

Spacey maintained that he was innocent and denied all charges against him, telling Good Morning America, I'm confident that I'll prove my innocence, yada yada, and was acquitted of all charges. But some things came out before the charges, right? Like he, people started talking about Kevin Spacey and his behavior before that happened. Like if I recall correctly, there was someone who was very young. Was that Anthony Rapp? They were all young, yes. And like they started talking about him and kind of his predatory nature before any charges happened

right correct and how did you feel about that quickly doing my research well okay i think i'm more curious to hear about like your perspective on we already talked earlier off air about how victims whether it's missing women murdered women someone gets murdered it's always white heteronormative people yeah white cis men or women and women yeah people like the news cares about and so i'm more curious about like when kevin spacey i remember when that news came out. And first and foremost, I think he, I think, surprised because I was like, I didn't realize that maybe he was gay. No, I didn't either. And two, like he kind of just looks like this average guy. Like you think about like famous actors and he kind of like got the, I'm famous for being like a normal looking person.

Very egg shape. Yeah. Not attractive or fit. Like he's not a heartthrob, right? And so then all of a sudden these allegations are coming out about like him being a predator. And it's like, oh damn. And it's young men. And it's like he invites them to a party.

He corners them. They say no, whatever. They say no, whatever. And really kind of no one getting as up in arms about it as they did with like Harvey Weinstein or other people. Well, it's true what they say about the queer community. They're very hypersexual. It's how we are different in every aspect of heteronormativity. It's homosexuality is the sexuality of being gay.

So when it comes to people... The homosexuality of being gay. So when it comes to people... The homosexuality of being gay. For Dada. But when it comes to people in power, there can be times where somebody might be authentically attracted to them, but not sexually attracted to them. Being somebody who is mediocre in looks,

but has a lot of affluence in media or in in this case hollywood somebody might be prone to getting close to him in a way that is to gain something and inevitably in his case sexually assaulting other people like networking in a way right like i'm just networking getting to know somebody in a more intimate way. It can be a date. It can be coffee. Something simple like that. Which is actually like a very

like straight person thing to do too. Like older men ask younger women out and like I can make you famous, baby. Right? Like that's probably going on. I mean, that's the dream, right? Yeah. Don't say that to me,

but if they did, I'd be like okay like come here let me be your sugar baby i'll take care of you um but what i feel like is that there's kind of this oh yeah well that's how they act right do you know what i mean yeah yeah yeah i do kevin spacey if he's gay that's how he's gonna be in like the you know the the people who they're saying are victims of him are like well you know it the people who they're saying are victims of him are like well you know it's kind of like who you are as a person or that they were asking for it the age-old euphemism but the age-old uh excuse for well what were you wearing were you asking for it were you showing cleavage because then you were definitely asking for it. Yeah, but I think it's not quite the same with the queer community.

Are you asking for it vis-a-vis just being in the queer community? Is that what they're saying because of the hypersexual nature that people stereotype the queer community as? Yeah, because they think that because we are queer people, we all sleep with each other, which isn't true. It's quite the diverse group of people. So it's not that you're going to be attracted to everybody in the same umbrella. But somebody of power coming along telling you that they can help you do something

is going to cause somebody to scoot a little closer in a sense. Yeah. So him being acquitted, like I said earlier, doesn't necessarily mean he was innocent correct it more or less means the jury didn't find the evidence compelling enough maybe there was some sort of technicality maybe they just believed him which is also a risk when you go to trial which is why sexual assault cases don't go to trial that much because it does sometimes come down to it was consensual consensual versus it wasn't and sometimes juries want to believe maybe that the person in front of them isn't a rapist. Especially somebody who's famous.

And like I said, if somebody's going to grant a favor of some sorts and that comes out to the jury where they're telling this person was coming on to me, even though they were just trying to get something from him and it led to something that they didn't necessarily want or expect to happen. It shouldn't mean that he's necessarily innocent of sexually assaulting these young people. Mind you, they were 12 and 14 year olds who were doing this. So aside from being minors and him going about his way with them, they probably were just seeking some type of

attention validation or gaining uh surely he should be done for having underage sex anyway then or you know sexual activities with a minor well yeah because there's a reason why you can't consent at before a certain age even if you're like yeah i'll do this like you are literally too young to actually be able to say that knowingly i have to correct myself rap was 14 and spacey was 26 at the time that's a big age difference and so young yeah wow so going back to russell brand real quick though you said charges have been pressed not that i'm aware of oh i think they're investigating it okay i thought i thought maybe criminal charges have occurred no not as yet i guess it's just it's gross and the fact that

i think he's gotten some traction with it's just big media trying to take us down. It's just it's mad. I was reading the comments on his posts because I thought I wonder how people are. I wonder how his fans are reacting to this. And it was astounding how many people were like, we're supporting you 100 percent. This is all bullshit. And so many of them were women as well. And I was like, wow.

Fuck. It's actually upsetting because I think that sexual assault is the thing that people struggle to just believe victims. It's so much easier for them to be like, they're lying for whatever reason. it's so much easier for them to be like they're lying for whatever reason yeah with a grooming situation too they start them young and it it's hard for them to voice what's happening because they're not really sure what is going to inevitably happen so and and they develop feelings for that person so it's a very confusing mix of yeah so in the case of spacey he was the producer of a movie so there was some expectations of them to grow their career as an actor. The grooming was taking place through lessons of acting and, you know, consensual things.

Well, not consensual, because of their age. But they made it seem like it was normalized. Yeah, come over to my house, we'll run the lines, We'll have a few drinks and we'll have some fun. I mean, we could talk about the Catholic Church. Yeah. And grooming. Yeah. Because it's, again, someone who's in a position of authority.

Starting with, I'm your friend. Come sit on my lap and I'm going to comfort you. And then it advances to the point where. This is something that you want because if you don't, then you're not. You're a sinner. You're a sinner or you're not going to be an actor. Or even a little less egregious than that.

Like don't tell anyone this because you don't want me to get in trouble. I'm your friend. Yeah. I am your friend and you don't want to see and no one will understand even though this is okay. Or it's not, you know, people are going to get mad about this because it's private so and that is what grooming is so like there's so many ways to go about it and the problem is it's just manipulative and

you're taking advantage of someone who's vulnerable and young or maybe not young but like just grooming can be due to vulnerability whatever you know and seeking guidance and validation should not be means of grooming and we place so much stock in people who are in positions of power in church and we place a high like priority on people who are of celebrity status that um because they're famous like they can do whatever they want yep you. You can go to a court and say, look, this person gave me a tattoo and have the visible tattoo on your body. But if you're less than them,

they'll obviously get favored. You wanted that tattoo. You asked for that tattoo. You asked for that tattoo, therefore. And it's from me. So yeah, it's gross. And I think that that's the thing that is frustrating about Russell Brand and Kevin Spacey is that just because they're in movies, famous, the people who maybe were abused by them are now looking to, like, they're being characterized as attention seeking, fame seeking, money, money seeking, whatever.

And their experiences get minimized because of it. And that happens to just regular people who are abused by other regular people too. So, yeah, yeah. You don't have to be a famous actor or a politician to groom people. You can be an everyday Joe. We're not giving advice though.

That's what it sounded like didn't it you know what like you can groom people too it's not a big deal just find someone vulnerable and you can groom them i'm taking notes oh god yeah um yeah it's fucked up um it is and Levi's right it happens everywhere you know in schools and just random situations where an older person will come across someone vulnerable

take advantage of them groom them to their needs but you shouldn't be afraid to report it if it does happen and I just want to highlight that the religion religion aspect of this what we're discussing is is a big problem because not anybody will be willing to talk about it because no favorite that that's it i know people that were assaulted by religious people um and yeah they we all do if you haven't talked to the person before

we we absolutely know at least one person in our lives as just common people who have been assaulted sexually emotionally or physically yeah i think there's a statistic out there it's maybe more geared towards cisgender straight women but what like one in five but if we actually broadened it to all classes it would be way more i would even shorten it for the queer community because it's so hypersexualized and and there are certain stigmas behind fetishes of young and old father son uh so that that definitely plays a part into it too some people do have a genuine response positive response to like a rape fantasy or or that sorts but it it depends on the person to be able to protect themselves and to make sure that the person

that they're doing it with is is respectful and understands what they're looking for in that sense so i i feel like there would be less, I feel like it would be like one in two people in the queer community have been assaulted. Really? Yeah. Wow. Well, we've gone from not being able to fish out moon cups

to... It's quite the episode am I the asshole you know I am baby you know he is baby at least I have one well we all do technically Levi mine's new I'm on the fifth week post-hemorrhoidectomy.

I'm pretty excited about it. Whoop, whoop. Good for you, buddy. You got a brand new asshole. Zero out of ten, you're not right. Mama's got a brand new butt. Oh, boy. Okay, you can choose, okay?'ve i've got quite a short one

short and sweet it's about dick pics oh we'll let levi pick or a longer one which is about a dick smelling like soup. I'm okay. I can speak to both. You only can pick one, Levi. Oh, the decision. Smelly dick or dick pick. I know, it's tricky, isn't it?

I mean, I can relate to both too. Because you can smell a dick? Sometimes. It happens. Smelly dick, smelly dick dick what are they feeding you beautiful great great and good okay okay i'll hold this am i the arsehole for telling my at the time boyfriend that his dick smelled like soup i dated a guy for like six months. I was 22, just about to turn 23, and he was 21. We were mildly long distance. Not really, it was a 45 minute drive, but one that he didn't really

like making whilst I didn't mind at all. So we would hang out a couple of times a week, and when we did, we'd often do stuff. I mention this because there was usually the assumption that we were going to be physically intimate, though even if we hadn't been, the issue was present through his jeans. Oh. It was all the way through his pants? He had a boner. No, he had a boner, not the smelly dick. Oh.

He had an erection. Not yet, okay. Okay. Maybe they didn't have sex, but he still had a boner. Yeah. At first, I tried to ignore the hygiene issues, but this man had a pretty manual job and he would almost exclusively wear sweaters over a T-shirt. So, you know, he'd sweat heavily.

So I decided to ask him one day about showering and how often he did it. And his answer was three or four times. That was it. No per week, no per month, or in my entire life. Mans did not specify a time frame whatsoever. I mean, it had to have been per week, right? You'd hope so, wouldn't you? Because it wasn't going to be days.

And if it were months, then it's... Yeah. Like, no one would admit that. Once a week. I show her once a week. Sometimes. Sometimes it's only three times a month Okay, go on

Flash forward a few months into our relationship And I have my head in his lap at a friend's house He's wearing jeans and underwear, mind you But all I could smell was broccoli cheddar soup That's what I was afraid of I was afraid it was coming through the pants, not the boner The hard pants,er the hard pants too hard pants so she's laying on his lap at a party yep all she could smell was broccoli cheddar soup something that no one was eating nor had they eaten

i didn't say anything at the time of course but the next time he was at my house and we tried to do stuff, I asked him gently as I could to please shower. That's when I told him that the hygiene had been an issue, as this man was uncircumcised, would work all day long, and wouldn't shower before seeing me. Well, I could have assumed that he was uncircumcised without even knowing that. Must be nice to know so much about penises the cheese gives it away they do call it dick cheese and sometimes it can build up into like a white kind of like thing of like pilling skin it happens

it's natural i'm circumcised so i i don't experience it but i have experienced it on another person it's called dick cheese no um jemma what's your experience with dick cheese yeah i've had experiences with dick cheese not many people are circumcised here so we haven't even gotten through the story to decide if this person is an asshole oh sorry okay um it would work a long day. It wouldn't shower before seeing me, or sometimes days before seeing me, to the point where his underwear had a layer of grime on them. But still expected, oral. Bruh, nah. He seemed kind of surprised,

so I told him that the last time we were at his friend's house, I could smell broccoli cheddar soup emitting from his jeans. He then told me that he didn't know he was expected to wash his genitals slash ass every day or at least every other day then covering the mic like i'm about to fight i just want to point that out i was like i thought you were ready i'm getting well maybe that i think i was feeling like i'm ready to fight someone right now. I also just want to bring it back to where I was dry heaving about period blood.

That was just a joke. This is like, literally, I could throw up because of this. I'm really sorry. So he told me that he didn't know he was expected to wash his genitals or ass every day, or at least every other day. He then proceeded to blame it on his dad, saying, well, I don't know. My dad never told me that. Daddy, should I wash my penis now? Now I'm covering the mic because i just can't

okay we do not date anymore this is not the reason why but it sure as hell didn't help anyway i may have gone too far describing his smell as a soup but it had just been persisting for months that i couldn't take it anymore was i too harsh am i the arsehole if that wasn't a reason enough, if you broke up for another reason besides having the smelliest dick on the world, on the planet, in the galaxy.

What's your point of view? I want to say that it's not, it's more common sense to wash your genitals. If you have an uncircumcised penis, you will be able to smell it. You sit on the toilet, it's going to waft up. He could smell it.

He was just being naive, I guess. guess and saying that bringing up his dad too like that's totally naive your dad doesn't have to tell you to wash your shit you just wash it yeah especially with a manual job like even worse kate you seem like you want to say something I just think that had this person not said anything could she have gotten an infection or some sort of like issue because of his hygiene so at some point talking about it because it literally impacted her physical health like no you're not an asshole and you also did it nicely yeah no she's definitely not the asshole a hundred percent not the asshole no and i'm so happy to hear they're not together because i'm surprised that that's not the reason because gross it might have been i guess we're not sure she said it was she said they're not together but I think for other reasons

yeah so other reasons are the fact that he probably was not a very giving lover well to expect head and smell like dick cheese exactly when somebody does not appreciate the smell of dick cheese if you if you get off on dick cheese cool i get it sometimes i like a mess too it's great but when it's something that you can smell through your jeans through your hard pants other people can smell that too like buddy you gotta you gotta take care of that there's there's no there's no issues you should shower every day even if you don't do a manual job i think absolutely or every other day or you know do it on manual job, I think. Absolutely. Or every other day. Or, you know, do it on a case-by-case basis.

Or literally just really consider it if you're going to be getting naked with another human and expecting them to put their mouth on parts of your body or let you put yours or let you insert things into their body to shower. Yeah. Give it a wash. Even an uncircumcised penis can get smelly. Same thing with vaginas. It's just a natural thing that we all experience from body to shower. Yeah. Even an uncircumcised penis can get smelly. Same thing with vaginas. It's just a natural thing that we all experience from time to time.

So I, I, I'm not going to say that you need to shower every single day. Some people probably don't for a variety of reasons. That's fine. Whatever. But I just think like, if you were going to be with another human in some way.

100%. It might be nice to just do that thing. Yeah. Even if it's a quick TPA shower. Tits, puss, and ass. Yes. Exactly. My mom.

Pits and holes. T-P-H. Tits, pits, and holes. That's a new one. I got to tell my mom that. Yep. G, tell us your perspective. I just want to share the top comment, which is, did it smell like man chowder?

Man chowder is a good one. I'm going to use that. Oh, God. No, I don't think she's an asshole. As you say, if you're going to be sexually intimate with with someone then the least you can do is just have a little wash i do every time even if the person's like i'm not accusing you this is actually about levi they they reframe the gender of the other person it's actually a man talking about my dick cheese

you're so smelly and he also lied I'm definitely uncircumcised. No, this isn't about anyone we know, but I think just shout out to all the people we do know. With dick cheese. And also like the smell of dick cheese. Start trying to make that a thing. It is a thing. That is not fetch.

It is so fetch. I want to do the one about a dick pic too Okay we could do that one Can we do two assholes today? Am I the asshole? Let's do double assholes Double the pleasure Double the fun it's the greatment of the datement

That's the great That's the statement of the greatment of double mint gum I think this is going to be pretty clean and cut. Yeah. I think I know what I'm going to, what you're going to say. Cool. A guy sent me an unsolicited dick pic. I sent it to his family.

Am I the asshole? When I was around 17 or 18, a guy kept bothering me by sending me dick pics and videos. Even after I told him I didn't want to see it. I blocked him a few times, but he'd make new accounts. So I searched for his name on Facebook. I found his family on his profile as they were labeled. And I sent screenshots of our chats and his dick pic, blurred as I didn't want to scare them as well, to his mum. I didn't get a reply, but he hasn't messaged me since.

During that time, I felt victorious about it, but now I feel bad. Am I the asshole? I'm raising my hand right now because I want to go first. Please go first. I think that he's the asshole. This goes back to our assault conversation earlier and people pretending like they have power and influence over people. He clearly did not have power or influence over her. She was not attracted to these pictures.

So she had all the right to call him out on his bullshit. Yep. I appreciate her for that. I would be traumatized if somebody sent my parents and my sister my dick pics, but I'm also not insistent and persistent on pursuing somebody who's not interested in me. Like if I have a conversation with you first. If someone told you to stop, you would stop. Absolutely.

There's no doubt about that. I think that's the key here. Yeah. So he is the asshole to Absolutely. There's no doubt about that. I think that's the key here. Yeah. So he is the asshole to me. Kate? Yeah, I agree. I mean, I was thinking if it was like the first one on a dating app, like maybe just block the man, but she asked him to stop.

And she also did the kind thing of blurring them out. I know. I wouldn't have done that. No. 100% not. Yeah, full frontal. I would have probably drawn a red circle around it. By yeah full frontal by the way here's your son's dick yeah it's penis yeah um smells like dick cheese grandma no no not the asshole here

that was a good one yeah not the asshole and I don't know about oh it says I think in some states of the US that's a crime in you in the UK that is actually a crime now you can't send unsolicited dick pics. It is a hate crime. It is a sexual crime. And you can't go to prison for it. Oh, I've been on Grindr since I've been here. And it's happened several times.

But the difference is, is when you don't respond, they stop responding. Exactly. I think that unsolicited means an act of no. There might be something about being on Grindr that is kind of like an implied consent thing um it's not a crime maybe it is in some states in the u.s but sending them to someone else might be a crime so the person here who's like you're not gonna stop i'm gonna send your mom that might be a crime because red revenge porn is a crime which is yeah i wonder if a prosecutor would look at this and be like, I'm not going to charge this one, but you could.

I think the fact that they have asked them to stop, blocked them, this person has created new accounts and is actively... That's straight up harassment. Yeah. That's sexual harassment. Is it bad that I kind of want to see it? Was it that good? You really had to show it off that much?

I think that's a question. It's just like, oh, I know you said no, but you don't mean it. Here's another one. Remember what it looks like. Well, this is an interesting episode. Well, thank you for listening. If you got this far, if you made it past the smelly dick cheese then i appreciate you listening um get in touch with your smelly dick stories um

or specifically just send them to me i'll be i'll be down send them to levi he's up for it if you put in the subject line for levi we'll just forward it on yeah you could do that that'd be great but uh you know if you have thoughts about this episode, you can send it to TalkShipToUs at gmail.com. We'll get in touch on social media at TSYBpod on Twitter. That's so good this time, you guys. Thank you so much. I really remembered your socials.

I'm proud of you. Also, thank you for having me. It's an honor and a pleasure. I'm still your biggest fans i promise not to stalk you bull well maybe kate because i definitely know where she lives okay and now i know where jemma lives too you're in my house i'm never leaving i'm glad to be in the same room as you pal me too it was fun we'll see you next week yeah for another special guest maybe probably won't be as risque probably not no all right well

catch you soon yeah bye We'll see you next time.