Talking Shit with a Yank & a Brit - 30. Thanks Dean!!

Episode Date: October 19, 2023

G'Day!! This week our Aussie friend, Claire, joins us to talking sh*t about the differences between Aussie life and the UK, we chat about odd sayings, dispell some myths about Australia and share some stories about Gem and Claire's youth! (p.s sorry about the sound this week!)If you wanna ask claire any questions or just join in the conversation, email the pod at [e-mail] or get in touch on Socials @TSYBPOD

Hello and welcome back to Talking Shit with a Yank and a Brit and an Aussie. Yay! We have got my lovely friend, Claire. So, how are you, Claire? How's things? Good, yeah. I don't really, well, obviously I don't talk to you all that often anymore, so I'm sure a lot of things are new I don't know what I am going to say is it's um I don't want to rub this in I'm actually really hot so if I'm dabbing my top lip it's because I'm sweating what's the temp there right now so today well so we just we've just gone into spring so it's starting to creep up a little bit i think today we got to 32 but with that especially in spring my hay fever is horrific so that just

makes it feel like it's 82 degrees 32 yeah yeah well i'm slightly jealous because it's cold out now. Yeah, it's cold. I know, but you've had a lovely summer. No, we haven't really. It's been shit. I thought you had a really... Every time I spoke to my dad on the phone, he's like, oh, it's very hot here today. I'm like, okay, I'm not jealous, but... No, it's been pretty shit.

I think the hottest we had was like 25 it's just being British and thinking that 20 degrees is really hot when it's not i have heard about the heat waves though so there you go yeah we had one last year where we got like nearly 40 degrees Claire can you believe that was that when we're here for the wedding? No, I'm thinking maybe that's what I'm thinking of. Maybe it was last year. I'm sure it hasn't been that long since I wrote to my dad.

Maybe it has. Sorry, Dad. I'll call you later. For context, it's nine degrees here right now. Or other, for our listeners who don't use Celsius, it's 48 degrees. That's so confusing. I know it is. I don't like that. who don't use Celsius, it's 48 degrees. That's so confusing. I know it is. Yeah, I don't like that. I don't like that.

It's like a million degrees Fahrenheit. It is funny, though, that we're basically entering autumn, but that's your spring because obviously your seasons are the opposite of ours. Is that right? Yeah. Yep, yep. So, yeah, so when our first day of summer I think would be your first day of winter maybe yeah yeah yep yeah that's really hot Christmases which I'm so used

to now when we first moved over here it was like this is not like Christmas I just could not get my head around but yeah and the kids want to see snow and I'm like mate I'm not going back to the UK to sit in fucking freezing cold snow when your toes go numb. And it's just not a fun time. No, it's not really. It doesn't even get that cold here. You guys are such wimps. Yeah.

So in Minneapolis, they have like. Oh, we had so much snow last year. We, I think, ended up having 90 inches over the course of the winter. Yeah. It's a lot of snow. Yeah. And it gets real cold. It real cold but I get it like I think if you don't have snow you miss it and if you do have snow you hate it right yeah I took the kids ice skating a while ago and sitting watching them and my toes were hurting but they were numb at the same time and it just took me straight back to those winter days I was like no I'm not going back ever. So you and I just met for the first time just now but I feel like

I've heard a lot about you since I've you know gotten to know these folks and but you and Gemma go way back right? We go way back. We've got quite a few stories to tell yeah i want to hear this what embarrassing stories do you have about jemma where did we met a beacon hey was it beacon yeah because you didn't come to um we weren't at primary school's that road called i don't even know now i love it and then you were born in the uk though right yeah, yeah. So I was born there and then, yeah, lived. Honestly, when I think back to Lily's age, I would have been, oh, I think she's a year younger than what I was when I moved out here and I feel like I lived a whole life over in the UK.

Like, the shit, the stuff. I'd lived an adult life before I turned 15, 100%. Yeah. I mean, we started, you know, drinking and smoking, you know, getting drunk in fields at like, I don't know, 13. Yeah. When I think back, I felt older, but then looking back, I was like, shit, it would have started around 13, I reckon.

Yeah. So this tells me. Oh yeah go ahead say it say it no I was gonna say I don't know I won't I won't mention any like locations and public houses but we used to go to a certain pub and they all knew we were underage didn't they yeah and they were like raid raid and then we'd all go behind the bar because we knew the cops were coming and I remember the first time I ever went there because I looked a lot younger than our group of friends and I remember you and a couple of the girls would go to this public house and they were like, Claire, you can't come.

You look too young. And I was like, that is really mean. And then one time you did let me go. I was sitting at the table and I was just like I was like this and I was like oh you're like Claire be cool you're making like everyone look at us and I was like okay and then What? When we used to dress one of us up as a French person, get a knock on people's doors and pretend to be French. Why?

Because we thought it was, hang on, because we thought it was, there's not a lot to do in the UK, Kate. Like we have to make our own fun and that was really fun and we'd even had like a little french dictionary would walk around they would um they would knock on the door and we'd be like in the french dictionary we're like oh oh hello how long have you uh lived here and then one time we walked in the door of a guy that spoke fluent French.

Yes, yes, he did. And he was asking us, I think you might have been the French person, and he was asking, like, do you know Paris? And you were just like, um, yeah. I was like, do you know off of Paris? He's like, yeah, I'm wondering about. Speaking to me in French, was like fuck so what this is telling me is that i initially thought you guys would not have been my friend because you would have been the cool girls but now that i'm hearing this story i think that maybe i would have not been your friend i just wish that we

could still get all those tapes that we used to. We used to make Big Brother tapes in your old house. I hope you still got them. My dad's got them. Yeah, you have to find them. We used to go to like, oh, they're called op shops here. I don't know, like charity shops. And we used to interview. We used to pretend we were doing a school project

and we would interview these little babies, pretending it was a school project. We were just like ripping the piss out of them it was so bad so bad it was fun it was fun it was good fun so you'd ask questions like do you want your muffin buttered i think we were asking proper questions but it wasn't they thought because they were trying to be real they're like, should I stand here? Is this okay?

We're like, yep, that's a great background. And we were just like, yeah. It was funny. Funny, funny. I think Sylvia used to take the piss. Oh, it was fun. And then one day Claire and her family, well, her mum went to Australia for a fucking holiday.

Claire and her family, well, her mum went to Australia for a fucking holiday. Claire's mum met a fucking man over there, came back, and then they were like, we're fucking moving. I was going to ask how that happened. And then at the end of the year, fuck off. I know. So when we came out on holiday here, I think it was a space between coming out on holiday over Christmas,

10 months later we were living here you might remember this more than me jim because i actually i don't know if i was traumatized and it's and i've blocked it out of my memory but i don't ever remember it being i remember the journey to the airport and everyone coming to the airport that was horrific yeah but once we moved here i don't i mean i was yeah 15 so it was a pretty like delicate age but i don't ever remember it being awful like is that bad should it have been awful i was going to ask were you really upset i was gutted yeah and i remember for a while we were writing letters to each other to keep in touch, because obviously we didn't have mobile phones then, or good mobile phones anyway.

My beloved Claire, it's been 14 years since I've seen your face. Pretty much. I wish I'd kept the letters, actually. But I remember for the first year, you hated it, I think because you sort of hadn't made friends and that. And then you came back the year after you moved, didn't yeah I did yeah and we like partied at Charlie's house that was because um so Jenny my sister like absolutely fucking hated it here because she was a bit older than me so she wasn't really going to school so we had she was going to move over to England like we came I had to, I had to leave Australia for 24 hours

or something anyway to restart her visa. Oh, right. Me and Jenny came over on our own, didn't we? Oh, was it on your own? I don't fucking remember. It was just me and Jenny were coming over, yeah, on our own. Mum stayed here. See you, Mum.

Bye. And that would be a hard move though move though I think just even if you were kind of up for it I just feel like that would be hard because yeah I imagine the journey is a bit of a bitch yeah yeah and it was like hey sorry go on no I was gonna say you meant the physical journey because that's why I haven't come back again because it was it was yeah not okay. I could not sit there again in the airplane. I mean, I will one day, I promise, but not yet. I mean, I've done it and I don't blame you because it was one of the worst journeys of my life.

Can't sleep on planes. I've come back in first class. First class, I've come back. Yeah, basically. Someone said you can have a private jet where you can, like, basically have a full bed and a full bathroom. And I totally would then. But the reality is I don't know if I'll ever make it over there because I can't be on a plane that long.

No, no thanks. My nan still comes out every year. The only time she didn't come out was obviously with COVID. Yeah, she's 91 now. And she comes over every year. but she comes by business class and she has her own little bed and stuff. So she's sweet. She loves it. Yeah. Nice. Good on her. Yeah. She loves it. Yeah. So your dad stayed here. Yeah. And but OK, so a little bit about me is I do work with families who have kids and they're separated, right? And I, it sounds like your parents were just like, yeah, we're gonna

do this. And your dad's like, I'll see you, you know, when I see you. Pretty much. So my dad was, I don't know. I won't share this with him because I don't really want. Maybe he will, maybe he won't. I don't know. And yeah, so we didn't really up paul we sort of did grow up with my dad but he worked in london so he would only come down the weekend and stuff so we were kind of used to not living with him and then yeah and then they separated and then mum met my now stepdad they're still together and happily married um on a blind date and then she had to come back and I mean she obviously asked my dad if it was okay but you know what my dad actually thanks himself he's like you know what if it wasn't for me you guys wouldn't have all this here and we're like huh I'm pretty

sure my mom wouldn't see it like that but you. Oh, that is some special mental gymnastics. Good for him. Well done, you. He's a bit like that. But, yeah, so, and then, I mean, he gets a free holiday every year when he wants to come out. I mean, he does have to live with my sister when he's here, so that's not so great for him.

But, you know, I don't have a spare room, so too bad. He always comes to my house for a bit of show. I can't believe your mum and Dean are still together. Yeah. It's crazy. They're going strong, I know. What, your parents don't get married three times like mine? You know what?

I mean, considering we met on holiday. Yeah. They were engaged after two weeks, weren't they? Yeah, pretty, yeah. And he's younger than her, like, eight years younger. But, yeah, no, they're still, yeah, still, like, together. Yeah, he's eight years younger than mum, yeah. True.

They're actually, yeah, I mean, they're cool. They're just mum and Dean. That's a cute story, actually. That is pretty, yeah, it's quite romantic, actually, when you think about it. I hated it at the time, though. like yeah Dean yeah Dean ruined everything thanks Dean do you remember um do you remember mum and Dean's um engagement party and we weren't there for all the speeches and stuff what were we doing so Dean came over to England and we were like just about

to move and it was an opportunity for Dean to meet my mum's dad and stuff and he was so nervous. We had so many people there in our back garden. It was beautiful. And my mum said to me the whole day, just make sure you're here for the speeches. I was like, yeah, I'll be here for the speeches. That's fine.

And something happened. Me and Gemma must have been on the source of the rip. Just doing girls' stuff. Yeah, and then we thought, why are we sitting at my house we have like a whole town we can go walk around right now so we did we came back and we were absolutely shit faced and we had missed everything like missed the speeches missed everything so yeah that was fun then jenny's like my sister like where were you i told mom you were gonna leave and i was like it was fun, more fun out there than it was. Oh, shit. I only had a small window of time to get everything, you know, to have fun. So yeah, yeah. You got to get an answer. It's about me,

mom. Sorry. It's all about me. I'm curious to know, like like what were some of the biggest culture shocks or things that you experienced in that move that you like either was different or things you missed about the UK or you thought was maybe better in Australia any kind of um things like that I feel like when I went to school I mean I'd never been to America but but coming over here and seeing all, like, the street signs and stuff, I thought it was very American just from what I've seen off movies and stuff. And when I found out I didn't have to wear a uniform at school, I was like, oh, my God, this is amazing. Like, I'm actually in America right now.

I don't know, like, maybe just the whole lifestyle is obviously the biggest thing I think is different. It is so different. Yeah. It's so normal to me now, so I don't really. Yeah, I don't know. Do you know what I miss though? One thing I miss about England, like one of the biggest things,

is the TV. English TV is so, Australian TV is shit. And I pay a lot of money to watch it. Like all the UK dramas and UK Gogglebox is my favorite. I love it. So do I. So I think that show is weird, I have to say. That's the one where people are sitting and commenting on the TV they're watching, right?

Yeah, you're watching people watch telly. What? We can watch it. I mean, I've seen it. I'm just like, oh, okay. But I feel like if you watch it, especially the ones that you like, your favorite sort of couples and friends and stuff, you feel like you're in the lounge room with them,

watching TV with them, and they're just your friends. Yeah. And it's just normal people or is it like reality TV people watching other reality TV? No, it's just normal people or is it like reality tv people watching other reality no it's just normal people they do do like a celebrity one yeah okay uh which is also quite fun um yeah that's really good it sounds weird but it it sounds very weird and it is weird but i guess i could see the appeal we've got an australian one and i looked at it and it came onto the um on the tv as an ad and i was like oh my god this would be the worst thing ever but as soon as you watch I mean Australian's one's not

as good as the UK one but watch it Kate and I guarantee you'll you'll like it well I probably will because I think I've talked on this podcast before about some of my fascination with British tv like Naked Attraction which is now available on HBO max. I saw it. It was like the whole series. Oh, my God, I'm going to watch so many naked people when I get home. Yeah, I find that weird. I've seen bits of Naked Attraction on Gogglebox. Yeah. Why?

I know. Why? Don't get it, but more power to you, I guess. I would rather die. I would rather die. I would rather die than do that, for sure. I know. Who was doing that? I don't know.

Really a lot of people because of the whole TV show. How desperate have you got to be to go on a show and get your foo-foo out? Yeah. And they're not pretty foo-foos. Just get a donk. No, they're not. And then have someone judge you for it. Like, that one doesn't look nice, so I'm going to go.

You might have a nice personality, but I hate the look of your minge, so bye. I feel like you need to get to know someone because then surely the personality will take over from the ingrown hairs that you can clearly see. Oh, it's so gross it's not all right okay so you miss the tv which at least in this day and age you can get access to that so that's good um but because i talk so much about food you know i gotta know like is the

food better there is it the same I know that Australia you know kind of well it was basically British people went there right and so I like to say it's the the Texas of Britain because of the accent which is not appropriate I know but I I view you guys as having like a southern British accent but then I'm also like does that just mean everyone eats fish and chips there and has a lot of tea or what we have fish and chips oh do you know what I miss Indian it is so hard to find a good Indian over here there is one just like five minutes away and it's called spicy flavors shout out I want some free food um they're probably the best but they're the best um Indian restaurant but you don't they're not everywhere like they are in the UK.

Fish and chips, meh, I don't really like fish and chips. We've got it. There's definitely no, I hate it when people think Australians say shrimp on the barbie. Oh, yeah. It doesn't happen. It doesn't happen. There's no difference. I don't know.

I give up. I quit. My world is destroyed now. We're done. We're done. We're done here, Claire. No one ever said, I mean, they might say, I mean, Travis, my husband would say, do you want some snags on the barbie, which are sausages?

But I wouldn't. Yeah, but I don't use that sort of, you know, I still say crisps for chips. So is it the same in America then that crisps for chips so so uh is it the same in america then that crisps are chips and chips are fries um so i would say hot chips for fries hot chips oh yeah okay yeah yeah yeah yeah and then chips like a packet of chips um but I still say, oh, sometimes I'll say chips, but usually I'll say crisps and stuff. So, yeah.

But food, I reckon, is the same. It's the same. We've still got Maccas. We've got Hungry Jacks rather than Burger King, which is exactly the same. Yeah. Interesting. Okay.

Okay. So I was talking to someone about this the other day because I was like, I don't understand why Burger King isn't Burger King in Australia. And apparently it's because when Burger King came over to Australia, there was a guy who ran like a little burger store. Just one single guy. Burger King. And they wanted to like buy the name of him, but he refused.

So Burger King had to change their name to Hungry Jacks. Wow. So there is a little Burger King had to change their name to Hungry Jacks wow so there is a little man so there's a little Burger King somewhere in Australia running yeah okay I wonder if it's still open hmm I wonder if it's famous I'm gonna google it yeah let me google it while we're here do a little research I'm just looking okay so you do say barbie though right instead of barbecue uh yeah yeah yeah yeah so hi guys we're having a barbie do you want to come to my barbie i don't know yeah you guys call it like a grill off right i mean when we say barbecue we don't say we're having a barbecue really because barbecue is a type of food for us which i know it is for you

guys too but we'll just say yeah we're grilling out or we're just having some people over to grill you know we're having a grill yeah well we'll say grill out grilling out we're grilling out um did you find it claire is this does he still exist do you know what it says it says you will not find a burger king in australia because it's the only place in the world where burger kings are called hungryry Jack's when Burger King got to Australia in 1971 it was discovered that there was already a local restaurant called Burger King there you go someone should have before McDonald's went over there, someone should have opened a restaurant called McDonald's and just told, that would have been so funny. You could pay me $12 million to take the name from me.

It's literally just my kitchen. I just call it McDonald's and I registered it and I don't make anything. I just have this. That would have been smart. I think McDonald's is like universal. I don't think if you went to a different country. I mean, when we did come to australia um england sorry um mcdonald's

in dubai the chicken nuggets taste exactly the same the chips taste the same which is weird they must produce them everywhere don't they yeah i mean it's just sludge that they i think they like just push a button and then it just forms into the nugget yeah it's really gross actually i like them oh it'll be fine i mean you can eat it for years it's real chicken breast that's just fresh chicken 100 real chicken real chicken breast uh that actually makes me think of so i'm from a state uh called south dakota and we had a restaurant that was called Graham's and I think it was named after a famous golfer named Graham who was Australian and so they tried to like name all the food uh after like Australian terms and chicken was chook right I think that's

okay so it'd be like yeah but I wouldn't say chip salad yeah so they would some of my might say oh i'll just get a hot chook from because we've got i don't know if you've got over there we've got something called like red rooster and um chicken treat where you can buy like cooked chickens like full roast chickens so they might just say oh yeah grab a cooked chick but i wouldn't say hey guys do you want chook for dinner? I would say chicken. Yeah, I figured it was probably a very extreme version of what people in South Dakota think Australians say and eat, you know. But it was so funny because it felt very fancy and foreign when I was like 12. I also have here that you don't call it a break you call it a smoko but even if you don't smoke

you still might take a smoko right so that's usually like um like the blokes will say so if they're on a building site they'll have smoko which is like morning tea I suppose um and then up in the mine sites and stuff they say smoko so yeah it's not a lunch break it's like a yeah but I would never use that yeah oh okay I've never heard that before one that got me that I really enjoy is fair dinkum yeah they're like the old school the old men you say that kind of stuff like oh I think. Yeah, Travis's dad says that a couple times. I mean, he doesn't say it. I think I would slap him if he said fair dinkum.

That's an ick. I'm suddenly not attracted to you anymore. We're divorcing. There you go, Travis. Don't say it. I guess it kind of means, like, fair enough. Fair dinkum. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Fair enough. Fair dinkum. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Fair enough. Fair dinkum. Or if someone's told, tells a story and they're like fair dinkum, like yeah, fair dinkum, like it's, yeah, it's true. I see here that you might call me a seppo, which is based on septic tank. What Australians would call, what you did you say? An American.

It says sepo and it's slain. No, we say yank. Okay. Well, yeah, yank is on here too. I would never call you a septic tank ever. Okay. That's nasty. You could. I would allow it because I think we're friends now but it is just it's like oh my god you must really hate Americans if that's your

nickname for us I remember when I went out like we got called poms a lot yeah yeah I hate that people try and call me a pom and although I'm quite proud to be English, but I'm not. I hate that word, pom. It's just, yeah, I don't like it. What does it even mean? Prisoner of Her Majesty. Oh, it's an acronym.

Oh, I did not know that. Okay, interesting. But going back to what you just said about maybe people kind of referring to you as being English, which I know you are, but you fully sound Australian. Do I? Well, obviously I don't hear myself a lot, but if I've just met someone after I've spoken to them for a while, they might say, are you English? Or maybe a little twang of English. I don't know yeah so I remember when I came over

the Aussies thought you sounded really British but I was like no you sound full-on Aussie now but you also think Sean sounds pretty American these days doesn't he no I still got a British accent though yeah but I mean she I think maybe it's more about the words too yeah maybe but I also think you sound Australian I mean but I suppose people who hear you and live there and are from there probably can pick up on the things that maybe you and I can't yeah like the little British twangs. Do you know what? There's one thing I say and I always think, oh, God, that sounds so English, but it's the way I say it and I can't say it in an Australian way at all.

Oh, at all. That's it. That's what I was going to say. So if I say, oh, I don't think it's cold at all, when I say at all, I think it sounds really English. Oh, it's not cold at all. How do the Aussies say it? At all?

It's not fucking cold, mate like they don't even use it it's not even part of their vocabulary oh okay so what stereotypes are true do you think are true um yeah i think i think the aussie blokes have a bit of a stereotype of being um fighting around the world yeah just a bit um i don't know just like oh like laid back and most of them are like larrikins i don't know do you say that is that an english word larrikin no i don't know what is it larrikin like just a chill dude yeah i think i think most of them are like yeah so that's probably the only thing um it is a pretty chill lifestyle um but like misconceptions and stuff we do not say as i said before we do not not say shrimp on the barbie and we do not drink Foster's beer. I've never seen Foster's beer in the bottle shop ever, ever, ever. Interesting.

I think it's an English beer that we just market to be Australian. I don't think they sell it here. Yeah, I don't think it is. No, it's from Manchester. It's produced by manchester there you have it there you go enough said okay um what i do like about australian people is how you just abbreviate everything so like sunny's becky yeah i mean we would do that as well but i think that's come over from australia because i listen to quite a few australian podcasts um i can't think of any

fucking examples now though they're quite lazy in their speech i I suppose. So, like, instead of saying this afternoon, they might say the sarvo. The sarvo, yeah. Evo. Sarvo. I can't think of anything else, really. What did you say, sorry? Prego. I'm just looking at this list here.

Yeah. Well, and you say good day. You don't say good day. Good day. Good day. Do people actually say that? Yeah. Yeah.

I think, like, older people say that. Or ifvis is being a smart ass when the kids come up like good day i'm like travis let's just bitch about our significant others right now yeah i think it's more like the older generation that say those sort of things like good day yeah good day mate and that kind of stuff yeah what about banana bender do you know what that is no someone from queensland which i oh is there like beef with queensland banana bender yeah i don't know i don't think so we lived in queens I don't know. I don't think so. We lived in Queensland for six months and I don't think there was much beef, really.

Sorry. Next. Oh, it's okay. I guess it just goes to show you can't believe everything you read on the internet. What about, like, Struth? No, not really. That would be something that Alf would say on home and away

i'll flame and flame and ate her hello what about bloody oath bloody oath yeah yeah yeah um i don't say it but yeah um mostly blokes would say oh bloody oh just like yeah that's it's true like you know what i mean like it's yeah bloody bloody oath mate bloody ice do you say crikey or is that kind of an exaggeration steve irwin used to say crikey yeah i was gonna say i think crikey died with steve irwin to be honest he was he's was he as beloved there as he is in the u.s i think people were genuinely sad about him. Not really. Oh, no, not really. We went one more over in Queensland. We went to Australia Zoo and his face is just everywhere.

But I don't think, no, I don't, you know, it wasn't a thing. All I took from that is don't swim with stingrays. Yeah. We have so many stingrays here and he must have been trying to do something dodgy with that stingray because they will just swim off like that's not it was obviously defending himself i'm sorry to everyone who loves diva and god bless his soul but i don't unless it was a different like a novicious stingray we have stingrays here and the kids swim with them all the time so

i don't know well there you go if anything i them all the time. So I don't know. Well, there you go. If anything, I think from, I didn't, I actually don't really know much about him, but I think he did things to like teach people about animals. Right. But like we all knew you shouldn't be doing the same shit. Yeah. Don't do the shit he does. Right.

Don't stick your hand in an alligator's mouth. Yeah. Don't wrestle an alligator. So yeah, it's kind of common sense. That was the ultimate lesson, wasn't it? Don't stick your hand in an alligator's mouth. Don't wrestle an alangosa. Yeah. It's kind of common sense. That was the ultimate lesson, wasn't it? Like, do not swing the stingrays. And then that was gone.

So, but that's another thing about Australia that, aside from the flight, freaks me out about going. Because there's so many, I feel like there's so many things in your environment that just can fucking kill you just walking down the street that's what they want that really upsets me when people think that do you know what I've been here for nearly 20 years and do you know how many times I've seen a live snake twice I mean they're around they're down the road they're here they're there but you just don't see them unless you're walking in the bush in the middle of summer. But that's your own fault. Why are you walking in the bush in the middle of summer? Redback spiders.

And did you say drop bears? Please tell me you know that drop bears aren't real. They're not real? Okay. I was looking at a Reddit post and people kept talking about drop bears. And I was like, drop bears. Well, that's the thing is I don't know what that is. No.

So, okay. Okay. So, drop bears. So, say you came over here and you met some sort of smart asses oh you're not from here be careful of the drop bears they're these bears that drop on you when you're in the woods it's bullshit they're just trying to make you guys literally you guys are just fucking with foreigners with that that's what it is oh my god that's hilarious and they would see you coming a mile away and i my kids like try and say it now. I'm like, you do realize I was here before you even born?

I know what a drop bear is. It's not even real. Please do not worry about the insects and stuff. That's why we've had some family members don't want to come out because they're worried they're going to get killed. Mate, you do have massive spiders. I'm talking about her daughter walking in with... Oh, yeah.

Do you remember when I came over and Lily was very young and came in with a dead black widow? I was like, look what I've got. It would have been a redback. We don't have black widows out here, but a redback spider. But do you know what? I haven't seen a huntsman for years years i cannot remember the last time we get our house sprayed for spiders and stuff and they just don't they just don't come well you so now we're clear in the air then for everybody who

listens thousands upon thousands of people you heard it here australia won't kill you the the animals aren't gonna kill you there's no such thing as drop bears you do have shark attacks every now and then though come on in america i mean that happens on the coast right don't have it here in england much safer here so i'll give you that there are there are sharks i mean i don't not go out in the ocean above my waist i wouldn't i i'm always very we got like a boat so if we go out in the boat if i was absolutely busting for a wee i might jump into a wee and i'm fearing for my life every single second um so yeah sharks are a big one but i mean look at statistics and stuff and the chances you're're pretty fucking unlucky to get chomped by it.

I mean, it happens, but just don't surf. You should be fine. I mean, we know that the ocean is not to be taken for granted. And we have shark attacks. Like there was one, I think, somewhere off the East Coast not long ago. Oh, really? Yeah. I mean, it happens.

coast not long ago so yeah i mean it happens i mean i remember when i came out to australia i hadn't gone in the sea for like 10 years because when i was younger i got stung by jellyfish in spain so after that i was like not going in the sea anymore fuck that and do you remember we went i think we went down south and we stayed somewhere i went to that beautiful beach and i was like i'm not going in the sea it's terrifying even though it was like the clearest waters you've ever seen in your life um and your kids were swimming really far out and i was like oh i feel like a massive pussy i'm gonna have to go so I swab in the illusion for the first time I mean yeah I think if you're gonna be deep enough for a shark to get you then you need to sort of respect the shark as well like you know I I never put myself in that situation so I don't really have any sympathy

but um we do get jellyfish and stuff and nothing's going to kill you. Well, we actually go on holiday quite a bit. We've just come back from Exmouth, which is the most amazing place ever. And they've got things called stonefish, which are fish that look like rocks. And that's the only time I sort of second-guess going in the water up there. Are they the ones that, like, ping up and, like, yeah, fuck that. That will kill you. Oh, shit. It's made some wearing attractive reef shoes

it was a nice skimpy yeah and then reef shoes yep um well so that okay that i thank you for correcting me and now that is not something i will be concerned about if I ever make it to Australia, that I will have a bird attack be or a spider fall. Do you know what's really cool? So you know over here how we have a fuckload of pigeons? Over there it's like parrots, which I found very exotic. In France, because I think someone just does like wetting their feet. Yeah, they do in London now. There's loads of random parakeets just flying around Londonondon um but yeah you just have a lot of yeah we have like yeah we've

got coppitoos and things like that but they're fucking noisy you hear them go like yeah they look beautiful but they do not sound beautiful also your clothes are super aggressive yeah and they smell like pies isn't it yeah so the magpies, isn't it? Yeah. So the magpies swoop you. There's swooping season here between September and November. And just be careful where you're walking through the bushes and stuff. And around those times, you'll see people riding their bikes with helmets on with, like, cable ties.

I can't stop them. But they don't look stupid. How do the crows know that that's swooping season season is it mating season and they're protecting nests is that really what it is or the magpies yeah yeah so it's usually um it's like the the the men the the male magpies but i've also heard that if you go walking and there's a resident magpie and they see you often enough they won't actually sweep you because they trust you oh which i've heard some as well yeah they've got some friends that go walking their dog every day and they never get swooped so you can like i've read stories about

people befriending crows you leave them little yeah i really want to do that feet like food and stuff they start to trust you they bring you gifts you can teach them to bring you money they can talk as well gross did you know that no they're like parrots you can teach them to talk it's fucking crazy i'll send you a video i mean i think some birds are really dumb pigeons i think we know are dumb yeah but chickens are quite dumb yeah so you guys i'm sure you have balls there considering you you know live on you know your coastal but it sounds like the magpies could be the equivalent of you have a bag of chips and the seagulls. Yeah.

Maybe. Yeah, no. So that would be seagulls with the seagulls. We actually went out for lunch the other day at a brewery, and it's on the water and stuff, and it's beautiful. But then they started handing out these spray bottles, and it says seagull spray just to spray these seagulls i was like what's in there and he's like i thought is it gonna kill them he's like no it's just water but it's really fun and i was waiting for one to come that's actually smart i think the seagulls

here are either bigger or smaller than the ones in the uk i can't remember which way around it is oh really ours are quite big so if they're bigger than ours they're fucking maybe i was a little Bigger or smaller than the ones in the UK? I can't remember which way around it is. Oh, really? Ours are quite big. So if they're bigger than ours, they're fucking massive. Maybe ours are little then. Yeah. I bet they're smaller because your seagulls get fed fish and chips so much that they're just fat. And they eat squirrels. Remember when we saw that?

Yeah. A seagull eating a squirrel. A seagull eating a squirrel yeah they're insane they just swallow anything whole it's unbelievable um over here we've got these things called i mean i had them inside because i'm obsessed with them they're called chili noodles and they're like little um like crisps as always but they're noodles and they're chili and they're really hot and they're so good with like beer and yum um if you throw one to a seagull it will eat it and you watch it fucking suffer afterwards

i don't think we've got any animal activists on here because that's not that's not a good thing to do but it's actually really funny and they start like shaking their heads and they and they're going into the water and they're trying to drink water. Amazing. So it's actually spicy then. It's not like white people spicy that we have in various parts of the state where it's like this is super hot, but actually it's not at all. It's actually spiky and spicy. When we went camping one time and our friends had these pickled onions and they were like a chili pickled onion. And these ducks kept coming to us and we were like a chili pickled onion and these ducks kept

coming to us and we were like oh god he threw one of these onions to the duck oh my god it was so funny I mean not good but what's funny do not do this at home do not drop we're not condoning feeding birds really spicy food but yeah so we were just doing a bit of an experiment and now we know what not to do. Exactly. It was a lesson for the kids, so yeah. It's funny. Okay, so is a Tim Tam slam real or no?

Is that when you suck the cup of tea through it? Yeah. I suppose I don't drink cups of tea. Maybe people would do that oh it's the same as a penguin yes yeah which i fucking love it's so good you're a coffee drinker yeah me too i love coffee um but subconsciously i've gone down to one coffee a day i'm not really sure what that's all about but it's just really useful oh it's good you use this information for you um so yeah i drink herbal tea i don't drink um

yeah that may not be good with a penguin or a tim tam but uh i've had about six cups of coffee already part of it is probably because i'm a little hungover um but yeah i love coffee as well and tea tea's fine i don't mind it um i don't drink it as much as you yeah yeah cup of tea i like coffee as well but so when you wake up in the morning do you go for a cup of tea or go for a cup of coffee cup of tea no see my eyes aren't even open i'm going to the coffee machine i'm making a cup of coffee same i just i find a coffee first thing in the morning too jarring like it's too bitter and it's too strong i need a little cup of tea to warm me up jemma you need to grow up coffee is what you need in the morning you're an adult woman because i can't have too much coffee because i get like the jitters

and heart palpitations it's my favorite yeah i'm like oh i'm shaking now i can never have more than two coffees because I start getting a headache and stuff. But, yeah, one literally as the second I wake up, I am getting up and I'm making a coffee straight away. Crazy. Absolute nutcases. Travis has never been to England, right?

Am I allowed to say his name? You can say his name. Travis. Travis. He was about to take the dog for a walk he's like what are you doing I was like I'm going into the van and he's like wow like so I'm doing that podcast he's like that's fucking awkward really he hasn't listened we're amazing and internationally known so he doesn't he doesn't do i mean i i don't do this isn't this is because i obviously know you guys but i do not do small talk with people so i am one of the ones in the playground that will just

like i have resting bitch face do not approach me i don't like i want to look like a rude ass bitch because i don't want you to come and say don't talk to me like i'm just here to pick up my kid and leave anyway so Travis is a bit it's a bit like that as well and I'm like but it's not it's you know it's Gemma and he's like nah fucking awkward no it wasn't what was Gemma gonna say before about Travis oh yeah isn't it so he's never been to England and never seen where you live where where you lived. Do you know what, I really, really, really do want to come. What do you think he'd make of it? I think he would like it.

I mean, England's beautiful. So Odin, my youngest, is really into history and Henry VIII and stuff. So I think he would really love going going all the castles and seeing all of that um I used to think Lily would love that but now I think she's missed the boat so he's trying to time it right for all three of them because um yeah that's hard man so you've got three kids and you've got you know your eldest who's a teenager who would hate anything that we very cool not even that old adults think is cool right so that's the other thing but you've got a youngest who's maybe a little bit more into like history and

all of that which england's definitely got like i don't know how many times i had to go to a castle when i was coming over i'm like enough castles please but we just don't have the same history in the u.s you know our oldest shit's like 400 years old so it's not even that old i think it's i think it's beautiful i'd love to bring the kids i mean yeah and i'll owe my middle boy he's a little fuck is he 11 or 12 i think he's i think he's 12 now he's just turned 12. fuck that's hard i can't think of his age and let's edit that out because i need to look like a good mom and yep so he yeah he'd be cool odom would love it lily doesn't like anything at the moment and just like anything at the moment so yeah it's hard i mean i do want to come maybe i should

bite the bullet book a ticket and just just come over yeah it'd be difficult i mean we could show lily like where we used to get drunk she doesn't need any ideas of that sort of behavior thank you very much she would also think it's really lame she'd be like you just got drunk in a field cool guys well you just hung out at least watch tiktok first you know what that's another thing for, misconceptions or the differences in the UK. So, yeah, obviously when we were growing up, we would hang out at the skate park and we'd go to people's – we'd hang out in a car park and stuff, which was so fun.

But here, Lily spends her whole weekend as a big group, then they all go down to the beach and just hang at the beach all day. That's pretty cool. Like, I'm glad she's doing that. I'm not anything else. That's it. I think the conception that aussies are very beach orientated people is correct like well why wouldn't you be

if you i mean i would i think that's true like california people just hang out in the beaches because it's beautiful why wouldn't you whereas here we hang out in car parks mate car parks and like skate parks and public toilets i think we've had a few public yeah and there's many other places that i shall not name um but yeah i think people that don't like the beach over here are very miserable and they stay inside for three months a year in the aircon and they're really you're living in the sun you're not in it it's wasted on them yeah so i like the sun but i also don't want it to touch me what do you mean you don't want it to touch you i just i burn easy i fear skin cancer and so i'm always like covered i try to cover myself i also um I'm I think if you listen to the podcast you've heard

me talk about how I don't like to not have clothes on so I would wear as many clothes as I like possibly could but then yep but then I'd be really hot and that sucks too so yeah this isn't the place for you I don't think um to be fair though our um our skin cancer like melanoma is through the roof in australia because and especially with young girls and stuff so my kids don't burn um very rarely burn so i myself i'm like i have to remember to put sun cream on them then i forget and then they don't get burned and i think oh well they didn't burn but it's so dangerous they were so many i say when she goes have you got your sun cream she's like yes mom she doesn't but it is and as i'm getting older i'm getting more scared of the sun but you can't avoid it i mean you've just got to make sure you're

wearing sun cream and hat and bunnies and yeah that's it i remember when i came over because i'm not one for burning either or i wasn't then i am now i'm older my skin's given up but i remember getting super fucking burned you remember we went down to a beach and got some pasties in the morning when the sun was at its lowest and we sat there for like 10 fucking minutes and i got really burnt i think it's because you don't have an ozone yeah i think it's proximity to the sun too and i get it it's always sunny it would be easy to forget to put it on i mean i put on sunscreen every day even if i don't go outside but the reality is is like you have to apply it a lot but that means you're going to look like 20 when you're 50 because the sun ages if you have

sun creams it's so good for you that's what i was going to suggest you tell your your child because at some point she's going to be real mad that she has to go get moles removed or that her skin looks like leather but then she'll just say I'll just get a face a facelift like she's got an answer for everything so she's invincible oh god I'm gonna stump her if I ever meet her I'm gonna stump her with something I know I am let's meet back here in 40 years with Lily looking 90 yeah I feel like to stump her. If I ever meet her, I'm going to stump her with something. I know I am. Let's meet back here in 40 years of Lily looking 90. Yeah. She'll be like, do you look older than you? You look older than me and I'm way older than you.

Oh, ha. She, yeah, being sunburnt sucks, man. I just think of John when John comes out. Yeah. Oh, poor Keefy. A little stirring and peeling, wasn't he? He would put sun cream on me like, John, you're burning.

He's like, I've just put sun cream on. I'm like, put some more on because you are Red Roar. He's not covering. Poor dude. I'm like a fucking lobster. I've had a lot of good times. So do you have any what are like stereotypes that you in australia or australians might have about americans i'm just curious because i heard from the french that we're just all fat that's basically

what they said to us oh yeah yeah just just like we won't think of americans you just think fat so when i say this it's not coming from me i'm i don't oh no you won't offend me don't worry it's i probably will agree with it so i think i think people um like the general consensus is just americans are just stupid yep stupid um and yeah and then if something stupid happens or we're like stop watching that american shit like your brain cells yep yep there's a lot of i mean that that comes from like odin sitting on his ipad and he's the youngest and he's looking at youtube and it's just it's just shit and it's all american and i'm just like i can turn that shit off but yeah does he watch unboxing videos well i'm very smart but i also just remember i'm now finnish so oh yeah you've converted but it's true i mean i think well i we can say that there's

probably groups of people in each country culture that just like are really poor representations. They do not make us look good. But I mean, I just, I mean, we had to look at who our president was for four years. I just,

I can't, I, so. Do you know what's, there's quite a few Trump supporters out here, actually, which is scary I'm curious to know it's kind of related like red flags for you when you're dating someone even if they're like we're not talking necessarily about abuse situations but what what was dating like

got any funny stories about that um or like how it's different maybe down there or any kind of funny relationship stories you can share no because i met travis when i was at school here so we have been together for i think nearly 17 years now um helps on that yes there's no i mean there's funny stories i suppose when we first got together with like his family and stuff but I don't think I should want to share it publicly um but I think I think at the time they didn't think we were like I mean I didn't think we were that serious and it's like whoopsie I'm pregnant this is either a thing or it's not um and it turned out it was and so I know I don't really have any funny I mean mean, I've got some,

like, back in the UK when – do you remember? I'm not going to say. I'm not going to say their names. Do you remember that particular group and that one time and, like – Say it and I'll cut it out. Yeah, she can cut it out. Do you remember? I can't remember his last name. Yes. Yes.

Yes. Oh, my God. Yes. And I remember, I don't know, there was these three boys and we're like, they didn't go to our school or anything. We just liked the look of them. And we would just follow them around everywhere. They're at the shop.

We're at the same shop. And then I remember one time I was asleep in the lounge room and my dad was at my house which was weird because it's not very likely he was there and they knocked on the door of my front door and asked if I was in and I was asleep and then my dad woke me up he's like oh I've just had some boys knock at the door for you and I was like oh my god who was it and then we we remember we wrote them a letter and we went and we we knew where he lived because we were stalkers um and we wrote a letter with like my mobile number and he we put it on his front door and left again and it was at the time you know we see all these memes when there's a mobile phone next

to a um a radio and he goes and you know a message is coming and i was like oh my god my phone i looked at it and he sent me a message and i have never said oh my god so many times what do i do what do i do can you see me right now yeah and i think that's when um i think um chas was mates with them hey yeah because they went to the same school as him. Yes, and we were like, hey, are you like someone that you know? Yeah. Oh, my God. That's probably as funny as my dating stories go, to be honest.

We were quite stalky with those two. I was absolutely, we were obsessed. We were obsessed. unhealthily obsessed but then but then once we got their attention and we and we did what we did it was like meh oh god that's so embarrassing so many things so many things i remember being called at school um jenny hiscox's sister and we were like the older boys it was so good there was like a particular do you know what like i i'm i don't like saying this i don't want to be like oh you know up myself because i'm not like that at all but I feel like most people that we sort of like put

ourselves forward for them they would come to us eventually yeah but that's because you were fit as fuck like no oh my god no way I was looking back at photos and I was like oh my god seriously what were people thinking and I remember I used to have like one of my year 11 classes at Beacon I have to go had to go into the sixth form room. I had to walk up the stairs. And I knew the time I was walking up, all my sister's mates were walking down and they were like, hello, Jenny, who's your sister? And I was like, hi.

I was so, yeah. It's embarrassing. There are embarrassing times too because, yeah. I'm sure our stalking thing, I'm sure they didn't like i'm sure they didn't mind but i think being allowed in the pups at 13 14 definitely helped i think yeah yeah for sure yeah oh good times good times but now i'm just boring and I'm married with three children and I have been for the last, we've been married for 10 years and we've been together for 17, I think. So, yeah, we're just an old married couple now.

Oh, you're cute though. Cute. You're still really good looking. You're still really good looking despite being an old married couple. You must feel like all the Botox. I don't know. Is that a thing over there? Do you guys inject your heads?

Absolutely. We do. You do. I've gotten Botox before. I fucking love it. Oh, my God. I love it. I got some not long ago and Travis looks at me and he's like,

are you supposed to be frowning or are you smiling? I was like, I just can't frown. It's not that bad. Okay. I wish I couldn't frown. Right. gonna get some you will love it you will love it it's so good and it's even better so when over here um stuff that they use it takes probably about three four weeks before it really kicks in so you get it done and you go home and start frowning you're like oh my god i can frown and then one day you'll wake up forget and you just frown and i'll be like travis and start frowning. You're like, oh, my God, I can frown. And then one day you'll wake up and forget. And you just frown. And I'll be like, Travis, am I frowning?

And he's like, I can't see. I'm like, yes, it's working. Yep. I actually got some. I only maybe do it once or twice a year. But every time I'm just like, it feels weird. You can't move. You think you are, but it's so worth it.

When like my lines in the middle basically disappeared. I was like, yes, this is the best. Especially when it's, when it's sunny and you think that you're, you're squinting, but you're like, you're squinting and the sun's not hurting your eyes but you have no lines that's the best i mean i probably look awful to other people around me but i'm like no lines and squinting it's great yeah i'm frozen in time oh speaking of the sun you ready for an am i the Am I the asshole? You know you are, baby. Okay, I've got a relevant one to our conversation. I know the asshole for not letting my daughter go to a birthday party

because she lied about putting on sunscreen. Oh, I see. It's very relevant. Mm-hmm. oh absolutely it's very relevant i 33 have a daughter who's 10 who's very pale she's a ginger if that's any indication and she was invited to a swimming party by her classmate i asked her if she put sunscreen on and she said she did but i had a feeling that she was lying so I asked her more questions about it which just led to more lying I put it on upstairs I put it on in the car etc which really upset me because she has a history of lying I've talked to her several times throughout maybe the last three years about how I don't care if she does something bad she just shouldn't lie last week she lied about

something related to school and I talked to her again about not lying. This kid lies all the time. This time when she lied, I decided to actually punish her by not letting her go to the party. I feel really bad about it, but at the same time, I feel like she doesn't take me seriously because I never really punish her. But she also thinks it's better to lie so that she doesn't get punished. I don't feel like I'm that harsh because the worst thing I've ever done was take her phone away for a day. I think I'm the arsehole because I feel like it's such a small lie but at the same time I feel like lying about small things will eventually turn into lying about big things. So I'm on the arsehole for not letting my daughter go to the swim party, for lying about wearing sunscreen. Thoughts?ary you go first i don't

think she's an asshole at all i'm really big on lying and being deceived i tell my kids all the time just be honest you might get in trouble for whatever you've done but it will not be half as bad if you tell the truth like i'm not and, and I'm all about, especially with Lily now, I mean she, I don't know if she, I don't know, I don't think she's going to listen to this. I won't tell her about it because she doesn't mean to say anything. She stayed at a friend's house last weekend and long story short, Lily is generally a really good girl.

She's very honest. Like she tells me everything about her friends and stuff because I think my reaction is pretty cool, calm and collected. And so I thought she was honest. And then I found out she stayed at a friend's house the next day and I just had an inkling. No, actually, I'll tell you, mother's intuition. I woke up at 2 o'clock in the morning the night

she was away i really i was like something is not right it's something to do with lily and it's something to do with this girl she's staying which i don't usually like her hanging out with i had like a pain in my tummy i almost fucking rang her just to see if she was okay but i was like no i think she's okay like there's you know I don't think she would sneak out or anything like that next day fast forward a few hours I was looking through her phone her photos and she had taken photos at 1 30 in the morning and 2 30 in the morning and she had fucking snuck out of her friend's house and it was it wasn't the fact she had snuck out it wasn't it was the fact she was out in the streets at 2 o'clock in the morning, but it was more so the lying.

I was genuinely upset with her for lying to me because when I picked her up the next day, I'm like, oh, how was your night? She goes, yeah, good. We just watched movies. And I was like, oh. So I reckon if you're going to do it, you need to stick to your guns and follow through. I'm pretty, even since the kids

were little i'm like if you throw sand again we're gonna go home they would throw sand again i'm like fuck now i've got to go home um so i don't think at all if your kids lie you have to punish them but you also need to let them know that you're not you're there for them if they tell the truth you know because kids they lie i mean how many times did i say to mom when i was growing up oh it's so-and-so's birthday gonna have 20 to buy them a birthday present and it's going straight on the fact oh um yep but i think at the end of the day parents they just know they just know when there's something not right yeah weird yeah i agree i don't think she's an asshole i think uh you gotta punish kids somehow are they gonna walk all over you i know and that's a really fine line i try and be

lily travis is always like you want to be lily's friend you don't want to be a mother like we don't do mother but you you too i hate conflict i just and i think because she's the only girl it's a really fine line to being like all matey matey you know like really relaxed relationship and like now you're being a little fucking bitch at the moment and i'm gonna take your phone off you and you need some respect um so yeah i feel like i'm quite consistent but it's it's it's hard it's really hard yeah i can imagine it is and the thing, she's just going through her teenage years. And, you know, we all remember what we were like at that age.

And, you know. I messaged my friend today. Yeah. Well, no, she hasn't said I hate you, but she definitely has said it under her breath. And I don't want her to say that. She doesn't hug me anymore. I'm like, Lily, I just miss you. Just give me a hug.

And she's like, don't touch me. And I thought I was quite a cool mom but clearly not yeah you are a cool mom but she will yeah give her a few years it'll it'll I mean think about your relationship with your mom like you said all the things that you know we did as a teenager and how it's kind of like I have a really good relation close relationship with my mom now and I think she's like this is it was worth it all of the shit that you put me through is now worth it because of the relationship we have but yeah it's just I think I agree with you both this person's not the asshole because it's too it you have to disincentivize the behavior you don't want which means sometimes it's a small thing but you don't get to go to the birthday party because I've told you 1 million times about lying and you have to incentivize the good behavior,

which is if you, even if you, I want you to be honest with me, even if it's something you think you're going to get in trouble for, I'm not going to like, but I will show you that if you're honest, like it will be better for you, you know, and that might mean less harsh punishment or, you know, maybe like you're able to react in a different way. But I think not letting this kid go to the birthday party is 100% the right response. If you feel like your kid's not listening to you and not respecting you and not following setting your ground rules. It sucks because that kid's got to be mad, real but that kid she's also gonna think twice about why now I even hate taking that lose phone off her because I know she's missing out on her what her mates are talking about it's really hard I feel so shit for taking her and excluding her from that but at the

end of the day don't don't fucking lie if you lie you get in trouble twice i always say you know you get in trouble for lying and then when the thing you did is honest then we can hash it out yeah yeah yeah easier said than done had she told you well you know we went out snuck out and you know like this happened you probably would have been like well thanks for being honest and i kind of make you know you already know how I feel about this friend. And I just want you to know, like, it's going to be really hard for me to, like, feel okay when you're hanging out with this person because of that kind of behavior, you know, and then you have to figure out how to establish that. Yeah. Yeah.

If I had picked her up in the morning, I said, hey, Lily, what did you do last night? And she goes, mom, I did. I was, I'm so sorry. I fucked up. I hope she didn't say fucked up. I messed up. And we went out last night you know and I would have been so much better but instead I was like adding all these punishments just to try and make a thing I was got my mum my mum works at one of the prisons over here and she was on the phone turn she was she was telling her all the sort of people that

are out at night time and it's just like it's not even that deep nothing even happened I'm like but it could have done I thought you were about to say I had I had her talk to my mom who was like I'm gonna put you in jail take you to the prison and see what it's like no I did say that I'm like you're lucky the cop weren't out because if they'd seen two young blonde girls on an electric scooter at two o'clock in the morning i'm hoping they would have stopped you and said where are you anyway anyway what's done is done but yes she's not an asshole for teaching her child not to lie i don't think agreed agree nice one well problem solved problem solved we've sorted that one out also you should wear sunscreen as we've discussed and botox is great and australia sounds really fun and maybe i need to suck up the flight situation and come and go

visit sometime but you know you should come we should all meet up somewhere maybe we could all meet up in the uk or somewhere cool in america or we could go to australia what's the so what would the flight be from um like where you are kate to here let me and just check that out real quick fucking yeah it would be long so my brother actually went to australia not too long ago and i think they, and he's in Denver. So I think they went Denver to California, California to Japan, Japan to Australia, I think is what the flight path was.

So, and it was like, I think probably full 24 hours of travel. Maybe. Where do you live in Australia, Claire? I'm in Perth. So Western Australia.

Okay. So Minneapolis to perth one day and 15 hours is one fight oh wait no that's when i arrive i think um but yeah it would be like if i were to leave today i would get there this just says 38 hours and 38 minute flight. Flight that. Travel, yeah. Shit. That's a long time. Especially if you have to get a flight to somewhere else or somewhere else.

So at least when you go to UK, you would just stop in Dubai and then come over. Yeah. I think there is a direct flight as well now. Yeah, my dad's done that. He reckons it was actually really good. But by the time you're on the flight, you're just sort of, you're not thinking, okay, I've only got 10 hours until I get to Dubai.

You just, you don't even forget about it, but you're just like, fuck, I'm here now. I might as well just. That's it. And that's the worst part is getting off the plane after like nine hours and then having to get back on a fucking plane and do another stretch. So interestingly, I would have to go to los angeles and then los angeles to sydney and then sydney to perth yeah well that's stupid yeah so at least i would

like i get to australia after like pretty quickly sydney's pretty cool why don't we all meet in sydney and then that's one last thing for you it's only do? And then that's one less thing for you. Do you know what? That's one thing. Sorry, another thing going way back to differences between UK and Australia. UK, at least you can jump on a fly and you can be in a different country in just a couple of hours, whereas here, when we go to Exmouth, we usually drive and it's like a 14-hour drive and we're still in WA. Like we're still there. Fucking hell.

Yeah, we went, we did like a kids, us and our friends did a kids free holiday to Broome. Oh, it was so good with our children. Still in WA, but it's like a two and a half hour flight. And that's still in Perth. It's still in WA. Like, not even like Queensland or anything like that. that yeah you're still in the same state yeah so i guess yeah like we you know if i took a 14 hour road trip i could probably get i don't know where where do you think we could get to like texas maybe yeah i'm looking at my husband like all right well i'm talking to you yeah you wouldn't know but i've i have done a road trip i've

i've driven to maine which what took we had two overnights um but the actual drive time was probably like 20 20 hours um driven to texas we only had to stay overnight once before we got there but yeah like we we end up in different states but it's still the same country which which is a little bonkers sometimes because I remember I drove to Denver once and Nigel was like, that's like the whole of England. You just drove like the whole of England. That's it. In that time, I could probably drive across the whole of Europe

and go into like 20 different countries. Crazy. Thank you for joining us too. I know it was a bit of a mission. That's all right. Thanks for having me mission yeah do it again i look forward to hearing the end product although i fucking hate the sound of my voice travis is like why would you do that if you don't like your voice i'm like

i don't know actually it's probably just just to see you actually yeah oh thanks you will you'll get over it leap my cousin levi i struggled with that too. I still hate the sound of my voice and it's not the thing I focus on anymore when it's to the playback. You get over it quickly. Well, you've only done an L. Well, yeah, thanks so much for coming on, Claire. All right, thanks for having me.

It's been great. I'm going to go and enjoy my nice, clean, freshly smelling house and get ready for work tomorrow do it if any of our listeners at home have questions for claire about what it's like in oz life in oz uh you know talk shit to us at gmail.com listen to not listen um check us out on social media tsyb pod twitter yeah all of that uh tiktok all of the things yeah thanks for coming on claire it's been a pleasure bye Thanks for watching! you