Talking Shit with a Yank & a Brit - 39. The 3 P's

Episode Date: February 22, 2024

This week we're talking shit about pigs, presidents and proposals. Along with some dumb ways to die. Send in your prank stories to [e-mail] or DM the pod on socials @TSYBPOD

Hey Torontonians, recycling is more than a routine, it's a vital responsibility. By recycling properly, you help conserve resources, reduce energy use and greenhouse gas emissions, and protect the environment. Toronto's Blue Bin Recycling Program ensures the majority of the right items are recovered and transformed into new products. Recycling right is important and impactful. Let's work together and make a difference, because small actions lead to big change. For more tips on recycling, visit toronto.ca slash recycle right. Get ready for Las Vegas style action at BetMGM, the king of online casinos.

Enjoy casino games at your fingertips with the same Vegas strip excitement MGM is famous for. When you play classics like MGM Grand Millions or popular games like Blackjack, Baccarat, and Roulette, with our ever-growing library of digital slot games, a large selection of online table games, and signature BetMGM service, there is no better way to bring the excitement and ambience of

Las Vegas home to you than with BetMGM Casino. Download the BetMGM Casino app today the BetMGM Casino app today. BetMGM and GameSense remind you to play responsibly. BetMGM.com for terms and conditions. 19 plus to wager Ontario only. Please play responsibly. If you have questions or concerns about your gambling

or someone close to you, please contact Connects Ontario at 1-866-531-2600 to speak to an advisor free of charge. BetMGM operates pursuant to an operating agreement with iGaming Ontario. It's the season for new styles, and you love to shop for jackets and boots. So when you do, always make sure you get cash back from Rakuten. And it's not just clothing and shoes. You can get cash back from over 750 stores on electronics, holiday travel, home decor, and more. It's super easy. And before you buy anything, always go to Rakuten first.

Join free at Rakuten.ca. Start shopping and get your cash back sent to you by check or PayPal. Get the Rakuten app or join at Rakuten.ca. R-A-K-U-T-E-N dot C-A. Welcome to Talking Shit with a Yank and a Brit. I'm the Brit and that's the Yank. Wait, no, that was wrong. Yeah. I'm the Yank, that's the Brit. Hi Gemma.

Hello, you alright? Yeah, I'm fine, how are you? I'm well, thank you. Great. Very well. I'm good. You look well. Do I? thank you great very well and good you look well do i you look like you've been you're so skinny you're just so skinny and your skin and your teeth i just like i can't look at you you're

too hot it's hurting my feelings just gonna sit like with my face away from the camera you look really shy yeah um what's going on in your world oh you know I have the day off it's Monday February 19th um and I just wanted to spend it with you president's day yay so who are you celebrating today well you know i knew you'd ask me that and while i had my guess and i was right that it's kind of stemming from a celebration about washington but it's you know president's day it's like all of the presidents, but it's, you know, President's Day. It's like all of the presidents, right? But it's, I think that its origins are rooted in kind of Washington being the first president and the founding father of America and blah, blah, blah, blah.

Right. I learned, though, that, you know, kind of his birthday was the original idea. But he was born on February 11th. And, yeah, then they decided to use the British Empire, switch to the Gregorian calendar. And since then, Americans born prior to 1752, including Washington, have typically had their birthdays recognized according to that calendar. Oh, wow. So basically he changed his birthday to February 22nd.

But then, and this is so interesting, so I know everyone's on the edge of their seat about this. In 1971, they shifted the holiday to be basically and this was through the uniform monday holiday act like they actually made a fucking law about this which is just like is that necessary they decided to say it was going to be the third monday in february every year and that places it between february 15th and 21st which makes washington's birthday something of a misnomer because it will never occur on his actual birthday, the 22nd. Well, that's stupid, isn't it? Well, you say that, but a rough analog of this phenomenon can be seen in Commonwealth

realms where the reigning monarch's official birthday is celebrated without regard to the monarch's actual date of birth. And I think that's you guys. Yes, I was going to say the queen used to have her, she used to have two birthdays. She'd have her actual birthday and then she'd have a public birthday. I don't know if that's happening for Charles. Well, if anything, the only perk of being a queen should be at least getting two birthdays. Maybe not the only one, but that should be the minimum.

days maybe not the only one but that should be the minimum yeah i mean you know there's other perks such as several palaces and you know crown jewels and so not having to work a day in your life however having two birthdays is good fun well done did you know well you wouldn't have known this but i didn't either a food traditionally associated with this holiday is cherry pie based on the legend of washington is in his youth chopping down a cherry tree i did not know that no my brain immediately meant went to american pie and apple pie yeah so there's this like lore that i'm pretty sure washington in his youth yep no chop down a cherry tree and then his father approached him about it and he's like i cannot tell a lie i chopped down the cherry tree. It's so dumb.

At least he was honest. Yeah. And so now we get to eat pie on his birthday. And I can't say that I've ever had a cherry pie on President's Day. I don't think I've ever had a cherry pie. Full stop. It's fine. Yeah.

Is pie a thing as much there? Yeah, we have apple pie. You guys love your meat pies. Rhubarb and custard pie. Yeah, meat pies. Everyone likes a meat pie. Everyone? I don't like pie right now.

Not everyone, but a lot of people like pie. It's pie and mash, you know. Yeah. Classic British staple. We have shepherd's pie often in our house, even though it's not really pie. It's not really pie, no. Yeah. And fish pie, again, is not really a pie.

But similar concept, you know, fish and then mashed potato on top. Yeah. Yep. There's cottage pie, shepherd's pie, fish pie, butt pie. Yeah. Dirt pie. Steak and, fish pie, butt pie. Yeah. Dirt pie. Steak and ale pie is a popular one. Chicken and mushroom.

Yeah. That's all I can think of right now. You know what's really nice is I often have a potato, broccoli and cheese pie. Mmm. Yum. I mean, I'd eat that. It doesn't sound bad. It's really good.

I'm laughing internally right now thinking about we're talking about pies right now. We have detoured. Would I want to listen to this? If this were just a random podcast the answer is yes actually um and so should everyone else so fuck you all for who think this is dumb pies yeah fuck you i'll bring it back to presidents so we touched on this briefly off air um, I don't read the news very often, so I've only recently learned that old Trumpy boy is trying again.

And also learned that Biden is really old, 84, I believe. But Trump's not far behind him. He's what, 79 or 80 or something? Yeah. I just think it's mental that they're allowed to run the United States of America,

the free world, at that age. There should be a cut-off, I think. I mean, you can't be younger than 35 to be president. Yeah. I think, you know, 65 is probably... I am old enough to be president. Hey, hey, hold on.

You heard it here first. I am officially running. For American president. I know nothing about presidential law, but. I don't think you need to. I don't think that's a requirement. No, I don't think it is, clearly, yeah. I agree because like we take away driver's licenses for people.

Yeah. I mean, there's not an age for it, but like once you get to an advanced van stage, it becomes a little unsafe for you to drive. And you probably shouldn't be president if that's also true. Though I know plenty of, you know, people 70 upwards who are, have all of their faculties. And I would be like,

like, I think Bernie Sanders, who is also not young, you know, no one that I can recall anyways, I'm sure people would be happy to correct me on this. Like, I don't think anyone's necessarily challenging his mental acumen based on his age.

Might be other reasons, but. I guess it depends on the person, doesn't it? But. Yeah. I just feel like saying to them, guys, just retire, man. Yeah. You did it. You've done enough.

You've done enough. Yeah, you've done it. Especially like with Biden. Like he was, you know, vice president for fucking years. He's been in Senate for fucking years. Yeah. He's done loads. Just retire, mate. Go fishing.

Do you know what I mean? And then Trump, just fuck off. You've done loads in the other direction yeah I was gonna make a joke when we're talking about President's Day and you asking me like which president I was gonna say well it's in honor of um the greatest president Donald Trump but I couldn't actually couldn't say the words that felt like poison even joking about um so yeah there's that but I couldn't actually say the words that felt like poison even joking about. So, yeah, there's that. But I it is interesting. You're right that I mean, typically, there's been very few instances where like the sitting president isn't the one who if they haven't met their like two year or two term, you know, max, they're usually the ones who will be the whatever party primary nominee for

the next election. And so it's not surprising that Biden is, you know, kind of the one who's being like, well, I'm running for president again, because I'm president right now. And I have one more term left. But I also think like, you know, it's okay. If you don't serve two terms. It's just very uncommon for the, you know, party of the sitting president to not put that person up despite the valid reasons that might exist for not. And, you know, with Trump, you're surprised about him running again, given what we do know, or what you might know about kind of all of the stuff that's happened since he's been president his criminal charges the other things um yeah like what are you doing

there's laws against that let me just tell you a fun little tidbit for the first 234 years of the nation's history no american president or former president has ever been indicted. And this man has been indicted on four different things. Holy shit. So over a five month span, even. It just was in very quick succession. He has four felony counts in D.C. for his efforts to overturn the 2020 election, which he lost Biden. In Georgia, he faces 13 felony counts for his election interference in that state.

In New York, he faces 34 felony counts in connection with hush money payments to a porn star. And then in Florida, he faces 40 felony counts for hoarding classified documents after he left office and impeding the government efforts to retrieve them. You might remember the Twitter thread that described that in very funny terms. Perhaps, I think it was one of our early episodes. Did anything happen about the, what are they called? The thing that happened in January when everyone stormed the Capitol? I think that is related to the federal, the first one I read, the federal election interference case.

There's an investigation following the work of the House Select Committee on the January 6th attack and his role in it. Yeah. And it's not even like these charges are not related to his presidency. They are, apart from the hush money one, completely related to him being president

and him breaking the fucking rules, stealing documents, inciting violence. It's mental. Go away, Trump. You're a bitch. I know. citing violence it's mental go away and i would i know and i would argue that even the hush money one kind of not directly related but like certainly related to like character and fitness yeah in a way it shows lack of integrity doesn't it which you'd expect a president to at least have and it was happening in part while he was president too it's not like it was fully before and then he's like ah i've turned a corner and i might have a

past but i am of clear conscience and good moral character now no it was like he while in the white house reimbursed a person named michael Michael Cohen a series of installment payments processed by his company, Michael Cohen was the one who was the fixer and paid the $130,000 to Stormy Daniels in October of 2016, which also was kind of like, because in 2016, I think that was the election year. So like a month before the election. Yeah. Fucking hell. He's just so unfit to be president.'s unreal so unfit yeah and we could go into how there might be reasons why biden also could be considered unfit but we're not because when we talk about what we want to talk about and i'd rather look to be devil's jerk i think they're both unfit because i have seen a

lot of clips of biden talking absolute nonsense and like one i saw the other day was him in an interview talking about the french president but instead of referring to the current French president, referred to the president who was in office in 1992. It's not even like he just got the last one mixed up. French words are hard, OK? So I'm just saying maybe both take a break. Let's get some fresh blood in some fresh meat yeah i agree i would love that i want to say like america deserves better but i feel like that's also not true as like a broad statement but like certain people in america deserve better

some people here yeah and i'm not even i won't even include myself but some people deserve better than what our options are here but the annoying thing is is like trump so i don't know where this is at but like there's questions about these indictments and whether or not he can even be like on the ballot for the election and i think the supreme court may or may not they might have said we're not we're gonna like let it play out a little bit um can decide that but there are like i think one colorado and maine and maybe some other states actually said he can't be on the ballot because of these issues so that's great some states refused like surely that would

negate it like well people wouldn't be able to vote for him in those states and if there's states that maybe are pretty red would vote for him or the republican candidate then well sorry you don't get those electoral votes i guess but my guess is even though the elections literally like tomorrow not really but um soon i it's gonna play out through the court system and the supreme court might actually have to weigh in um in order to because of i guess it's never happened before either no i don't think because literally no other president's ever been yeah indicted so god it's crazy isn't it yeah it's just frustrating because like so I'm not going to talk about this very well because it's even the system and the process is even confusing to me as someone who's

American and lived through it but like we have caucuses to determine who the uh kind of nominee for the particular party is in Iowa for whatever reason is like the first one and the biggest one and he won that one and it's just like there's my point is is like people despite all of these concerns who still love him and are able to be like dismiss all of this but then point to all of like the quote-un unquote wrongdoings or problems with like any other nominee, Biden, any other potential Democratic nominee. Like, and it's, it's just, and this is true of both sides, but like hypocrisy is, that's why I say only some people deserve better.

But it's like utterly baffling. Despite, you know, forget all, all the actual legal issues about Trump running. My biggest issue is that he's a fucking idiot. Like he can't even talk coherently in a half intelligent manner. manner he's genuinely a buffoon like and i i'm gonna go out and say there that if you're voting for him then you're an idiot too yeah it's the uh you know i'm gonna say property i think I think the theory of transference and who you associate with. Yeah. Yeah. Funnily enough,

before we started today too, I just was kind of looking over some of our saved things and someone on Reddit posted the question, X Trump supporters, what made you change your mind? And the answers range. Well, I was on meds and now I'm not on them anymore.

So that was a big part and another was you know basically i was a red i was never a trump supporter but i was a republican until 2020 um and they said trump was an absolute fucking geyser of every single logical fallacy and propaganda technique in the book another person said all of the lies and grifting, like not an honest person. Well, I'm glad to hear that people did change their opinion on him. I think some did not, not enough,

not enough. Clearly. No. Cause he's trying again. January 6th. Most embarrassing shit I've ever seen in my life. Yep. That's just so many reasons like whatever

we could talk about this for until we're blue in the face he's an idiot happy presidents day he's a criminal happy presidents day to all our American listeners out there I'm

sorry I'm sorry. I'm sorry you live where you live. Yeah. Okay, well, I've got a fun fact about America. Yeah, tell me. I don't know if you're aware, but in America, actually, I want you to guess your most invasive species.

Trump supporters. No, okay, let me try again. Zebra clams. Zebra clams. No. I know, based on what we discussed before starting recording i know what the answer is but oh yeah i told you fuck yeah so i just am being clueless for the sake of the drums do it for the plot oh doing it for the plot girl um it's pigs for anyone who didn't know that for what it's worth. So it turns out that wild pigs are the most invasive species in America, and they do billions of dollars of damage every year.

But what's also happened is they've bred with domesticated pigs that are obviously bred for food um but they've got the dominant traits of both so um they're very resistant to disease but also very aggressive oh my so my natural like thought is is super pig no. So then that seems like that should be our crop then. Because they're not spreading diseases like domesticated pigs. But then they're biting everyone. Exactly. Which might not be a bad thing. I mean, put up a little fight for your food like in the olden days. bad thing i mean put up a little fight for your food like in the olden days i've just seen this article it's like the u.s faces new threat from canadian super pigs

um considering i haven't seen any wild pigs or pigs just running around destroying shit i was gonna ask yeah have you never seen a pig? Hold on, let me look. No, not outside. No, I haven't seen one. Okay, so apparently they've been antagonizing flora and fauna in the US, gobbling up crops, spreading disease, and even killing deer and elk for decades. Spreading disease? Mm-hmm. How are they diseased? Maybe they can have disease, but they're not dying from it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But yeah, there's now this new super pig that's coming um what just like slowly making its way from the top of canada to the bottom and once they cross the border then we're fucked and how are they going to get through customs without passports well look listen you've already got approximately six million wild or feral pigs which cause 1.5 billion damage a year. Where? I'm guessing they're in more rural areas, probably not in cities. All right.

But yeah, they're like accomplished predators. They kill animals because they've got big old tusks. They eat all your crops. They're also a mixing vessel for carrying diseases and viruses such as flu, which are transmittable to humans. Jesus Christ. Okay. What I said about them being our primary crop. Scratch that.

Just pretend I didn't say that. So yeah, I just wanted to bring that to your attention and make sure you're aware of these crazy wild pigs that may come and fuck your shit up. Gemma, tell us how we can defend ourselves against this. Well, now you're asking so do i need to fashion a spear to like i would yeah i mean the fact that a lot of you guys have guns will help okay so i need to go get more guns go get more guns um get one do i put a gun on the end of a spear yes do that build a high tower i don't think they're very good at climbing so they might be they're super pigs maybe they can fly at least jump really high

um but yeah i found that out because i was watching a program about But yeah, I found that out because I was watching a program about food in the US. And like, because you guys farm cattle and pigs and chickens and animals on such a huge scale. Yeah. But a lot of pig farms aren't irrigated properly. aren't um irrigated properly so they just literally pump the sewage like into these big old ponds yep on the side of towns and you know levi could probably talk about this because his family raised pigs for a while yeah yeah um and there were people on there describing the smell and they were saying like you know if you put your washing out, if you get the wrong wind, it just absolutely stinks of pig shit. Well, no one puts their washing out here.

That's an English thing. Oh, well, this woman did. Funnily enough, I just Googled super pigs because I wanted to see a picture. And so first, the picture picture is they're cute and so i can't say i are cute that's it i really like pigs yeah i would like that one's spotted and that one's laying down and kind of reminds me of lucy and but it says this picture is from pigs roam pigs feral pigs roaming somewhere in Texas. And then Minnesota, North Dakota, and Montana and other northern states are making preparations to stop. So no one informed me.

One of my states was listed just now. I'm at risk. I need to protect myself and my home and my family from this threat. Exactly. I would start barricading now. Okay. I can. I can do that.

I'm going to throw Lucy at him. I would never. That sweet baby angel. Chips will just take him down. He would. He's pretty vicious, actually. So thank you for bringing attention to this. People need to know.

People need to be aware about super pigs. Oh, they're so fluffy. I know. Well, that one looks like a horse. Jesus. I mean, we have wild boar here, but we don't have that many. I don't think they've bred with domestic ones.

They're not super. They're a little bit above that. I'm just trying to see where which states are most impacted by wild hogs so florida georgia and texas okay have the most so i got some time maybe but if they're coming from canada depending on how fast then you're fucked um i just have to There's this picture here. That's the. Okay. The caption is. Super. Sorry. Super pigs crossing the border.

And it's literally like a mama pig and two baby pigs who are very cute. And it just makes me think like, why aren't conservatives getting super upset about these pigs trying to cross the border? Why aren't they building a wall? Because they care so much about that. What's happened with the wall? Is that still happening? That's still an issue. I think there's parts of the wall up,

but now there's other mechanisms like things in the water that have chainsaws or rotary saws. What? We're horrible. We'll have to talk about that another day because something happened recently that i won't get into but like it's it's like it's just actually horrifying yeah that's horrendous okay well i mean we've got an initiative here where we're just sending uh refugees and immigrants to, I think it's Rwanda.

Oh, that's the governor of Texas play out of his playbook where he would just take a bunch of migrants and send them to New York. Just put them on a bus and send them to New York. Just, yeah. I've just made a deal with them and they're just like, we're just going to chuck them all on a plane and give them to you. Is that all right? Cool.

And Rwanda's like, do we actually, can we say no? And you guys are like, no. No, you can't. Yeah, it's pretty, pretty crazy. Everywhere is horrible to everyone. Yeah, so anyone entering the UK illegally after January 2022 could be sent to Rwanda.

The government said with no limits or numbers. Just send them over there, chuck them over there, fuck it. Even if they're not from Rwanda. Who cares? So like, if I came over, they wouldn't send me to war times. They would if you were here illegally. I mean, I still don't think they would, actually.

They probably wouldn't because you're white. I think they'd probably be like, you can get that. And they'd be like, you can go back to America. We'll put you on the plane. It's probably not going to be first class, but maybe we'll spring for business for you. But no free alcohol, young lady. Okay, one. One free alcohol.

Could have one free drink. But then go home to America. Okay. Yeah, it's pretty fucked up because I think Romanda's got like sort of poor human rights records as well. I mean, genocide to name one thing. Yeah.

Oh, we're such lovely people. I know. And I, like, again, this is probably a topic for another day. But just, it's the lack of humanity that makes me not want to participate in society anymore. Yeah. I would like to go off grid.

Live off the land. But then the boars, the wild pigs, so. It's a food source. You're right. Like, once upon a time, lots of threats. So just living like our ancestors did in the 1980s. But, you know, we don't have them anymore. So it's all right.

Yeah. Well, on that uplifting note, would you like some nightmare fuel? Yes. Give me more nightmares. Thank you. So I've just been like stockpiling nightmare fuel for a little while yeah um and i wrote this out for just in case it interests you on december 10th um and i was focusing on just like ways to die that you don't think about oh great fantastic great. Fantastic. Are you up for it?

Dumb ways to die. One is golf clubs. Golf clubs? Golf clubs apparently can be lethal. Well, yeah, someone hits you around the face with a golf club. Yeah, that's not envisioning that scenario. Just about anything can

be lethal if it's applied from another person right so like um but apparently two people were impaled by their own broken golf clubs and that is following basically anger at their poor shot and like breaking it yeah a guy named jeremy bruno struck a bench with his number three wood it broke and bounced back and impaled him in the heart wow it's pretty impressive that'll teach you for getting angry at a game won't it yeah no shit um rafael naranjo swung a five iron at a fire hydrant it broke and then it became lodged in his neck. Oh shit. And then apparently two other people have suffered similar fates that I don't have the information on. So watch out

for those golf clubs. What I'm hearing is that golf is a dangerous sport. Highest mortality rate out of all the sports. Probably. Manholes. Yeah. i'm terrified of manholes i i am too though have because of my lack of self-awareness of my body and its physical surroundings have probably had a few near-death experiences from manholes

those great covers just not paying attention to where i'm going excuse me apparently i need some water but i don't have any so onward i go um in india alone though 1843 people have died due to following in. And that's just in India. Wow. So imagine worldwide. Yeah. Hot tubs pose another risk to one's life and limb. Well, Matthew Perry, RIP.

Oh, God. I wrote this before he died. Oh, my God. Sorry. He predicted his death. That's all I'm hearing. I must have. Sometime between 1999 and 2003, 1,676 Americans have died by a hot tub.

Wow. Wow. What, just boiling alive or? Alcohol. Falling asleep. Yeah, something like that. Grim. alive or alcohol yeah something like that um this one like is surprising to say but when you think about it not really scarves oh okay getting caught in stuff strangulation i'm guessing yeah you might remember the most famous one of is the dancer isadora duncan who was strangled to death by her long

scarf that was caught in the hubcaps of her car oh my god that's terrifying basically it pulled her out of the car and then drug her down the street oh my god yeah wow and... Do you know, I know someone who lost a finger because she wears loads of rings. Oh, did she get de-loved? Yeah, basically. She like... I don't know what she was doing, but she got it caught on a nail on a wall

and it ripped her finger off. Oh, God. Oh, God. I mean, they used to warn us about that in PE at school. And we'd be like, nah, whatever. I'm still going to wear my earrings. I got my 47 ring. Yeah.

But that shit happens. Yeah, you hear about, I think, often men because of just stereotypical genders and stereotypical jobs, but men wearing rings and working around heavy machinery and the ring gets caught on something. genders and stereotypical jobs but men wearing rings and working around like heavy machinery and the ring gets caught on something and then basically like degloving is basically removing all of the skin that's what happened to chip's tail actually that's why he's got like this big of a tail um but yeah it's horrible um and just makes me cringe gross but back to scarves, there was a letter to the editor published in 1992 in the New York Times,

which was following an article about the death of a woman who was killed by the subway when her purse got stuck. So not about scarves, but basically a similar scenario where like an accessory got stuck in the closing door. And she was dragged for 90 feet along the platform and onto the track and the writer who wrote the letter notes other deaths in similar ways basically like watch out for the plague of accessories killing our females i swear we used to get warned you know like escalators we used to get warned about like you know your sleeves and your scarf yeah and you're stuck in them and gross elevators lifts yeah we've talked no i think we talked about this on a previous episode but like a few my fear of coming to the end of an escalator

when it starts to go into the thing and like want to hopping over it because i don't want to get caught by it even though i have nothing on that would catch me i just am scared of it yeah um beds is another one all right 737 americans die annually died annually between 2004 and 2014 by falling out of bed. You're more likely to die this way than by a terrorist attack. Whoa. I feel like Americans should get cots.

Sleep on the floor. Save the sway. Why are your beds so high? Why are you all rolling out of bed? Electric blankets cause around 5,000 fires a year and 20 deaths a year. I am not surprised by that.

Me neither. I love an electric blanket, but I always envision it catching fire and me burning to death while I sleep. So I don't have one. They were like really prevalent in my life as a child too, which is like my parents were just like,

it's fine. Yeah. And I, you know, they got to have been less safe back then than they are now. Yeah. The wiring probably was really shitty, but then also the material,

it always seemed like it was the, but then also the material. It always seemed like it was the really flamboyant material. Yeah, really un-fire resistant material. Yep. I don't know. God. Icicles? Apparently getting hit and impaled by one is super common. What?

Yeah. I know probably not so much an issue for you given the amount of snow and stuff and coldness that you guys get there but like you've probably seen the fuck off big ones that are like hanging off buildings i suppose that could do some damage if it were to fall on you right yeah for sure fuck tylenol aka paracetamol, which is known to be abused, causes liver damage and death by overdosing. 980 deaths a year per the FDA. Wow, really? I was watching a video of a guy talking about paracetamol the other day, or Tylenol.

And yeah, he was saying that it's like super dangerous. And although it's effective, nobody actually really knows how it works. And yeah, it really fucks up your liver and stuff. And yeah, really. Yeah. Quite dangerous actually. Hot water. Apparently 30 to 50 people a year die because of hot water from the tap.

And there's something called a hot water challenge where kids are dared to drink boiling water. What? Yeah. No. Yeah. That's stupid. Yep. Dumb ways to die.

Oh, escalators. Escalators on here.ators on 30 people die a year and 17 000 are seriously injured i thought it was a myth nope it's true there's a video of one and this is an extreme one this isn't like i got caught and just got strangled it's like this woman and her kid are on an escalator and it starts to collapse and she like throws her kid to safety and then she gets sucked into the gears no way yeah it's horrible just use the stairs yeah use the stairs or just don't go don't go to a different level we're good on ground level you're gonna going to die falling out of bed. We should just stay on the ground. I'm going to be so paranoid now after this episode. Yep.

Nightmare fuel, like I said. Yeah, thank you. Vending machines. What do you guys call them there? Yeah, vending machine. Okay. Just making sure. People sticking their arm up.

Yeah, I think like that will probably them tipping over on you too 37 people have been killed trying to get a product from the vending machine and you're more likely to die from this than a shark attack wow wow i mean statistically anyways yeah fuck that you always when you put together uh wardrobes you're meant to nail them to the wall as well. So they don't tip. Yeah. I've never done it though. No.

Who does that? It's not going to fall on me. Yeah, I'm not an idiot. Ooh, toothpaste. That's just, I bet that's in your house right now. Yeah. There's none in ours. I've gotten rid of it since I wrote this.

Just use baking soda. Mm-mm. No, I just. no i just don't water water is enough and so there's fluoride in water if improperly used it can kill you and one woman ingested 200 milliliters of toothpaste intentionally to unalive herself and she was successful because of fluoride toxicity so that's also why i don't drink water and i said might not be an issue for the brits hey we have fluoride in our water sometimes like just depending on the day or depends on where you live oh okay um crazy magnets magnets right how mostly fridge magnets yeah or i suppose magnets and things maybe okay like x-ray you know some like doors clothes who that like have a magnet to latch instead but basically anything that's magnetic all right. More of a concern for children because of children being dumb and swallowing shit,

but they can cause serious damage to your intestines because they'll break through the lining and cause internal damage to your organs. Oh, yummy. Yeah. I went to the cinema the other night and got some popcorn, and there was a massive sign on the desk that was like beware popcorn's a choking hazard to children and i was like that's so over the top as soon as i sat down ate some popcorn i nearly choked starting to choke yeah i was like that sounds appropriate

you know what you wouldn't choke on oh pop pop why is it a different kind of popcorn it's a different kind of popcorn that poses no choking hazard whatsoever you hear that oh pop pop i'm desperate someone please sponsor this fucking girl with oh pop pop um to your point though it's not a choking hazard for children It's a choking hazard for anybody really For everyone that has a throat I thought you were going to tell me there was a magnet in your popcorn No

No magnets There could have been I guess you ate it, you're fine For now Headphones or earbuds which are for reasons you would expect it's because it decreases your awareness to your surroundings and so you get fucking hit by a bus or a car or a giraffe or a wild boar super pig and die i think that's the leading cause of death, actually, by super pigs is ear flints. Yeah, for sure.

Flip-flops. Oh. A.K.A. what do you guys call them there? Flip-flops. But in Australia, they call them thongs. Yeah, that's it. Okay. Not great footwear and people wear them at inappropriate times.

One man fell 100 feet in a in glacier national park because he was wearing flip-flops and lost his footing also they're ugly and your feet are ugly put some shoes on i love flip-flops yeah didn't i give you a pair of like my cheap old navy ones that are literally like a dollar and i've worn them for a good year it's literally as soon as it gets to like i don't know like high teens i'm in flip-flops until my feet start getting cold in the winter again i fucking love them this year i bought some um archies have you heard of them we've talked about them you told me about them before. They're like durable, fancy flip-flops. Yeah. They're made by like feet people.

I can't remember what they're called. Podiatrists. Podiatrists. I think. I could be wrong. I'm not going to fact check. Let us know at home. Fuck knows. But they're the comfiest flip-flops you've ever worn in your life.

And they're made from one single bit of rubber rather than having the toe post going through. So they don't break. Which was always my issue when I had them because I got the cheap ones and it would be like, I would just be walking on super flat ground and bloop. There it goes.

Yeah, highly recommend. I'd like to be sponsored by Archie's because I think they're the best flip-flops you can buy. Do you like showing off your ugly feet, but you want to do so in a durable way? Try Archie's. Try Archie's. Well, because of the flip-flops, like poor traction and, you know, you could fall off a mountain, I have now taken to wearing Birkenstocks, which is the mountain climber's flip-flop. I also love Birkenstocks as well. Good old Birks.

Other favorite shoe. I love a summer shoe. I think this might be a myth. I don't know. We're on Urban Legend. But I feel like it's illegal to wear flip-flops when you're driving here. I think in some states here too. Someone's told told me that i don't know how true it is but probably because of the poor traction probably and you can get your your flip

stuck on the flop it's the flop part either the flip or the flop gets stuck under the pedal um and yeah and then you die and then you die which is one of the ways people die with flops not just falling off mountains but horrific car accidents exactly or they get stuck in escalators and yep again another way to probably probably would happen um brawley's umbrellas are also fatal how tell me how well in this example it's a beach umbrella but a strong gust of wind impaled a woman on a beach it was like 800 pounds of force oh shit like being javelined in the face yeah or you know i guess any other part of your body but i just i imagined the face um extension cords 94 people over a period of four years died due to inappropriate use of a extension cord so like i have questions was this a sex thing

no i think what people do is they plug extension cords into extension cords. Mm-hmm. And that is a fire hazard. And I know this. That might be. Because my dad used to be a fireman and he used to lose his shit about extension plugs. Like, turn that off at night because it's a leading cause of house fires and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. I think that's what it is.

What about if it's just for like a brief period of time oh that's fine but I need it a little longer of an extension cord for my lawn more than I'm gonna use for 10 minutes I mean it's I've done it it's fine isn't it I just think don't leave it in and plugged in all the time just a longer extension cord yeah so fires is one apparently that's not the only way though like people are seriously injured or killed by misuse and that's because they trip over them oh i should know this from health and safety at work actually we had a whole e-learning on that on extension cords pretty much yeah and leaving boxes on the floor be careful Oh, I should know this from health and safety at work, actually. We had a whole e-learning on that. On extension cords?

Pretty much, yeah. And leaving boxes on the floor. Be careful. Continual use can cause the insulation to deteriorate, which can create a shock or fire hazard. Also, extension cords are known as the widow maker. What? We shouldn't laugh no they have all those widows who've lost their partners to extension cords sorry i'm sorry oh and it's the male to male extension cord specifically which is not a surprise because the females always get it right so

that's mad i think it can attribute to like maybe carbon monoxide issues too somehow i don't know i don't feel like reading this it's lots of words okay a few more you ready are you ready to like basically go off grid now yeah oh my god aerosol cans right huffing but they also explode yeah there was a craze at school where people used to get huffing i guess and get high off them yeah that always seemed very dangerous to me i was like why are you doing that I mean like there's so many other ways to get high yeah ways where you don't have to inhale fucking deodorant nitrous oxide yeah nitrous oxide is I think the thing um nutmeg did you know that nutmeg in large doses can kill you and it's also hallucinogenic which is

like not the cool kind, though. Like the bad kind. Like the bad kind. Yeah. Okay. It can cause convulsions, seizures, and death. Wow. Did not know that. So next time Grandma puts nutmeg on her pie at Christmas, make sure she's not using too much.

Isn't it almonds as well that have like yeah and arsenic in them if you eat loads of almonds i know arsenic smells like almonds but i don't know if that's because there's like a high amount of arsenic in almonds let me look oh let's find out and arsenic this is now a science podcast okay yeah so very low amounts of arsenic and almonds but many types of food including rice apples and water oh so so i wonder maybe it's cyanide but maybe you have to eat like a fuck ton of almonds but it's like if the arsenic doesn't get you it's actually the salt content the salt content.

I don't know about you, but my nuts have to be salty. That's what she said. Rapeseed oil, which I thought was interesting because you guys fucking love rapeseed. But it's bad rapeseed. We should just use olive oil. Oh, that's what I'm saying. It's better for you. Toxic, it can make you go blind too.

Oh, no way. It's in so many things, like pretending to be other things. Like we have sunflower oil, vegetable oil, all these different type of oils. Yeah, they're all just fucking rapeseed oil. Is it because it's cheaper? Yeah, I think so, yeah. Cheaper to manufacture. Salmon. Jumping out of the water and slapping you in the face?

Well, yeah. No, farm-raised salmon contains toxins that are harmful to humans. Well, it's good that I don't like salmon. And last but not least, genes. No, how? Not so much fatal, but just bad for you. UTIs for both men and for both men and women can cause acid reflex, abdominal cramps, and neuralgia, parasthetic, which and for females, vulval

dynea, which is vagina pain lasting for months at a time. And for men, it can cause lower sperm count and loss of blood from twisted testicles. Oh, Christ. No more hard pants, folks. Only soft pants. Only a

leg. What about really tight leggings? Surely that's the same. I guess there's a bit of elasticity in leggings, I guess. Depending on like how, like if they're Spanx like qualities where they're meant to like compress. What about Spanx?

It's like wearing a corset. I don't know. Makers of Spanx, tell us. Are your products lethal or not? We're going to investigate. And what about you, Kim Kardashian, with your skims? Yeah. Me? Fatal.

I suspect some of the same issues, like the constriction maybe makes you feel like shit. But, yeah. Crazy. Well, it's just about time skinny jeans went out of fashion then really isn't it big volumous baggy jinko jeans are back the the gen z's did try and tell us but we refused to listen we didn't listen i have one more like fun interesting thing that's not so much like ways to die but it's still a little nightmare fuely did you know that your eyes have a separate immune system from the rest of your body and if your other immune system finds out your eyes exist

it'll attack them and you'll go blind what yeah no i did not know this it's called immune privilege which is a theory that suggests our eyes have evolved to be invisible to the rest of our body's immune system but why um reduced immunoresponsiveness in certain tissues and organs allows your eyes to maintain a clear cornea and retina. But if our other immune system were to become aware of our eyes existence, immune privilege would be lost and our immune system would treat our eyes as a foreign invader. Oh my God. So if you have an eye injury, infection, or autoimmunity issue, this is how our immune system would become aware of our eyes because all of a sudden it's like what's what's why is there

an infection in this space that i kind of have a blind spot wow yeah your eyes are literally hiding from our immune system that's crazy what the fuck man now i hope you enjoy that nightmare. Fuel. Let me know how you sleep tonight. Yeah, that was terrifying. Thank you. You're welcome. I don't already have enough anxiety dreams, so. No, well.

That's good, thanks. You can avoid all of these, though. Just don't leave your house. True. That is true. Don't drink water. I'm going to throw away a few of my jeans don't brush your teeth don't brush my teeth okay don't take paracetamol don't use my eyes no problem well i don't really take paracetamol anyway so that's not a problem

um what were the other ones forgotten or escalators i will be avoiding those yep um golf clubs manholes hot tubs. Beds. Don't sleep in your bed. What about baths? Why are they different to hot tubs? Tepid water and then don't drink it. Don't drink that hot water. Tea needs to be cold.

No it doesn't. Oh I missed Christmas trees. They cause 200 home fires a year and kill six people on average each year. Shit. So don't have a Christmas tree. I guess from what, hot lights being on? Yeah.

And if they're fake, I suppose, more flamboyant. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Plastic. Yep. Well, there we have it, folks. Avoid all those things. Don't go outside.

Avoid the wild pigs. I think the song YOLO by Lonely Island really encapsulates this sentiment because it's basically about like you only live once. So basically live in a bunker underground and avoid children because they're full of diseases and lice and don't travel at all build a bunker with titanium walls yeah i mean i i understand their sentiment however what a boring life yeah it's true but world's ending soon anyways true do it for the plot do it for the plot baby is it time for our daily or daily weekly discussion of bad behavior or not um yes i believe it is okay so it's yeah it's not an am i the asshole it's someone asking advice um they have posted a burning question and we need to know whether. Yes, it is an STI and yes, you should go to the doctor.

If it burns when you pee, then see a GP. Okay, so. Me, 24 female, have been dating my boyfriend Andrew, who's 26 and male, for five years now. We've had a healthy and stable relationship up until today. So, Andrew has always been a prankster and makes jokes with me all the time, and I do it to him too, but today he took it way too far love a good prank though no I do like a prank yeah classic Winston CC mess around yeah this is a warning to you though okay okay so in the morning he woke me up at 7 a.m and told me to wake up because he wanted to take me to the spa I was pretty surprised because it wasn't a special day or anything um but I was all in for it at the spa he told me how he wanted to take me to the spa. I was pretty surprised because it wasn't a special day or anything, but I was all in for it. At the spa, he told me how he wanted to go to a fancy restaurant

after we were done at the spa and that he would be paying. Of course, I agreed as we hadn't been out together in a long time. We then got to the restaurant and we had a beautiful romantic dinner and just a nice time in general. We were talking about a house that we were planning to move into and chit-chatted about other stuff too. After around 40 minutes, Andrew stood up, got on his knees and took out a box out of his pocket. My heart stopped beating. I hadn't even predicted this.

We'd never talked about a proposal before, but I also thought it was a great time now. He did a speech about how I was the most beautiful girl in the world and how he wanted to live with me forever and ended with, Will you marry me, my princess? And of course, I said yes. You're laughing at princess.

Yeah, I'm sorry. It's very nice. think a princess yeah i'm sorry it's very nice um seconds later all that excitement turned to horror he opened the small box i expected that he put a ring into and then there was a note saying you've been pranked and andrew started laughing hysterically it's a good prank. I mean, but also like the only person who enjoyed it was him. Like it'd be funny if it was like a TV show or something. I don't know, but it's, it's almost feels like it's too small, but too big. Okay. He continued with baby. This was just a prank. I'm just not ready to marry you yet. He was leaning in to hug me, but I gave him the biggest slap ever with tears streaming down my face. And I just told him, we're over, you fucking scumbag.

Now I'm sitting in my bed crying, writing this, and I don't know what to do. He's been texting and calling me, but I haven't responded because I feel so sad, betrayed, and mostly angry. I thought this was going to be one of the best days of my life. What should I do? and mostly angry. I thought this was going to be one of the best days of my life. What should I do? So it's a weird prank. Like on one hand, like he treated her to a really nice day,

which is kind of nice, right? Yeah. And so like, it could be, pardon me, I was wondering if it was april fools like he was doing it to make her think he was going to propose but then if he just didn't you know that would be one thing but it's weird that he did all of that had a little box asked her she said yes and then he's like haha i actually i'm not ready that's really strange it's strange to me. Also, it depends on, like, the type of person she is. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? Like, some women might find that funny if they, you know, are that into marriage. I think I probably laugh a little.

Yeah. Yeah. I might be embarrassed, too, but. Yeah, especially in a public place, wouldn't it? Yeah. But, yeah, like, a woman that's been's been you know waiting for that magical proposal for years just to fucking slap her in the face well that was kind of my question too is she's like she's been dropping hints has she been like saying she you know wants to get married because that

makes it even a little bit more fucked up but um if not, it's still kind of mean because she said yes. And then he basically was like, I would never marry you, you dummy. Like, I know he didn't say that. It's kind of like the popular guy asking the ugly girl to go to prom and then like driving by, you know, I think never been kissed is what I'm thinking of. Or then he pops out of the limo and throws like dog food at her or something i don't know yeah it's uh not great is it no so i guess i don't blame her reaction but if she wanted to forgive him and just like share her feelings about that then like i would understand but i also could understand why she'd be like it's like that feels sociopathic to me and i'm not interested in being with someone who's

like that that's also fair yeah that's fair maybe it's one one prank too far did you say there was an update for this there is an update for it do you want want to hear it? Yes. So she has said, After I made that Reddit post, I fell asleep crying. Then I woke up and decided to call my now ex-boyfriend and told him that it was over and I didn't want to be together with someone who after five years still isn't ready for marriage and to make a big joke about it. He cried and then turned angry and demanded me to stay

and told me I was a fucking arsehole for leaving him like this after everything he's done for me. He cussed me out so much that I stopped listening at one point, so I didn't really remember everything he said. In the end, we kind of came to an agreement that we are going to sell the house and that he will be sleeping in the guest room from now on. God, they live together and everything. Wow. So today I've just been scrolling the internet for apartments so I can have a fresh start. He's still not happy about the breakup, though. He's trying so bad to get back with me.

And saying stuff like the whole day. Saying, sorry, saying the whole day, day like can't we be together again this was just a small mistake i made sorry the one that did it for me was don't be so fucking petty and drop it you know we're happy together and you know you still want me okay oh he went through all the stages of grief there. Yep. When he said that, I absolutely lost it and called him every single name I could come up with and then slammed my door. I think he also told his family about this whole situation because today I got a call from his mum telling me how selfish I was and how I couldn't handle a simple joke, and it ended up with her calling me a slut and hanging up the call after I've gotten several messages from his other family members,

such as his siblings, his dad, and even his aunt. I tried just to block them all, but every now and then comes a new message. I feel like more will happen, but the next update will probably be in less than a week or so, as I'm going to try and sell stuff that I don't need, find a new apartment and fix everything with the house and stuff before we put it up for sale.

Just want to get out of here quick, as quickly as possible. Sorry. Wow, that escalated, didn't it? Well, so I think like right decision considering his true colors. I was initially going to say it'd be funny if she's like, I'm just pranking you. Just a little taste for his own medicine. But I also think to her point of like

he, it resulted in a discussion about marriage and it became clear they're on two different paths and want two different things. So like her desire to end it was right. If that's like if she was going in a different direction and wanted something else and he not only couldn't but wanted to like make a joke out of her feelings about it if that's like if she was was going in a different direction one than something else and he not only couldn't but wanted to like make a joke out of her feelings about it that's

like not being understanding of your partner and then his reaction following that is just the the entitlement to the extreme and like if his family can't understand i mean boy moms are so toxic sometimes but if they can't understand that it's not really about the prank it's more about yeah the realization of where they're at in their lives then you're better off gal yeah what i'd like to say is people you need to communicate with each other why have you bought a house with each other and you haven't just maybe she thought that they were gonna be getting married yeah i guess so but fucking talk about these things communicate like because he thought it'd be funnier to prank her but in to tell her that he's not ready to get married or doesn't want to he that's how he chose to do it, which makes me think that possibly

he kind of, whether subtly or not, sent her signals to think that they were on the same page there and moving in that direction. And then he decided, I'm going to let her know I'm not ready for this by doing something kind of fucked up. But you're right.

Like it's communication. And perhaps it could have just been, let's go out to eat, to the spa and while we're at dinner let's just have a talk about our future you know like we can have a really nice life together do romantic things together have a nice relationship but i'm still not ready to get married what are your thoughts yeah and it might not have you know have been i never want to get married it's just i'm not ready yet yeah you know which is perfectly valid yeah now he's fucked it all by doing a prank oh dear oh boy well that's not that's unfortunate

and just really still weird to me like a prank to me is like it does seem winston-esque doesn't it like getting married yeah yeah like in the in the show new girl where he gets married as the prank is kind of like it's too big it's too big and then he puts a feather in cc's mom's shoe it's not really a prank yeah too small so i don't know yeah well i hope she was able to extricate herself from that easily and able to kind of avoid getting called a slut by old women. Why am I a slut? I don't know. Oh, moms.

Yep. Oh, moms. Well, I think today was a real upper of an episode it was yeah we've really brightened your days with

obviously our opinions on pigs presidents and proposals nice nice thanks well you know if you enjoyed today and wanted to contribute to it by telling us other weird dumb ways to die or your thoughts about any of the dumb ways to die about the presidents about pigs or about proposals uh email us talk shit to us at gmail.com or find us on

various social media sites at tsybpod. We'd love to hear from you. Get involved. We'll keep you anonymous if you send a story in or something. Yeah. Yeah. Thanks for listening. Got a prank story. Yeah.

Okay. Send your more pranks, please. Other than that, though, join us next time for, you know, it's hard to say what maybe a woman story glory hole yeah um or you know

other things other stuff yeah we'll talk about some stuff we'll talk shit about something yep i hope you have a good rest of your president's day oh thank you i hope you do too and i hope you celebrate all the presidents that have been and will be. With some pie. I think I will. With some pecan pie. No cherry pie. I prefer pecan, to be honest. So I'm okay with that. Pecan. Pecan. Is that how you say pecan? I say pecan. I don't know what I say now. I think I say pecan. Pecan pie. Pecan. Pecan. Bye. Pecan. Pecan. Bye. you